#and i don't think that's normal ✌
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
maybe one day when I can get a hold of a therapist with expertise that fits my particular issues, I can finally address the crippling feelings of jealousy and worthlessness whenever people who's kindness I treasure deeply are nice to others 🤔
#hate to admit it but deep inside i am just the absolute worst. jealousy and worthlessness are eating my insides every single day#not as bad as it once was. I've gotten pretty good at repressing my reactions. but i still feel it like a knife twisting in my chest and gut#and i don't think that's normal ✌#hate to admit it but this jealousy and the resulting feelings of worthlessness and me wanting to avoid The Bad Feelings#and unnecessary drama: if i remove myself from the situation/person i won't hurt anyone. sound logic when you're in distress. stupid asf tho#has caused the breakdown of a few friendships. and I'm not proud of how many people I've hurt this way over the years.#just wish i could get All Of This under control while avoiding all human contact#but i'm part of a social species and if i'm on my own for too long i go crazy crazy and that's not good either#will i ever get on top of this? who knows#...would that be considered black and white thinking?#like when people i care for and am happy to receive love and attention from give that same attention to others#and it feels like they won't ever give it to me again or that i am not special/our bond means nothing#and it makes me feel this ugly ugly jealousy -> shame -> worthlessness -> shame -> gotta isolate thing???#IDK?????????? i'm just working here (in my fuckdd up brain and body) i don't control the manifestation of my mental issues#anyway confessions at 6am after a sleepless night while feeling delirious from being sick with a cold 👍#might delete this later idk yet
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Crush
Cheerleader Wanda x Nerd Fem Reader Short Stories
Wanda walks in, wearing her school's cheerleading uniform, along with her friends Natasha, Maria and Carol. Every student in the hallway stares at them as they pass along, books falling from grasp, whistles from all corners and sound of clapping from the basketball team.
You on the other hand is busy with your camera, a vintage Olympus Pen EE-3. You are to meet Pietro in the school's darkroom to have the pictures you have taken earlier that morning developed. You are a senior transferee from a neighboring school and have only started three months ago, yet you have no problem finding friends like Pietro and Yelena.
Unaware of the popular girls heading your way, you accidentally bump into Wanda as they begin to turn around the corner.
"Watch where you're going!" Wanda yells when her uniform is ruined by the cup of coffee she is carrying.
"Shit, sorry, Wands," you apologize. You take tissues from your bag as you attempt to wipe the stain off her uniform.
"Oh, it's you, Y/n," Wanda says. Her demeanor has softened when she sees your pretty face, smiling from ear to ear. "It's okay, I brought a spare uniform in my locker. Why don't you buy me a cup of coffee instead as payback? Later at 4pm after cheer practice?"
You nod, breathless. "Yeah, sure, Wands. I'll see you later then."
Wanda smiles before leaning in to kiss your cheek, making you blush and frozen on the spot.
The girls then walk away, Natasha laughing with others. "Gosh, why is she so oblivious?"
Wanda sighs, wiping her uniform with the tissue you gave. "I don't know. I don't know if she even likes me."
"Come on, Wanda," Carol interrupts. "You're everybody's type."
"Not hers," she complains as as she arrives at her locker and takes the extra uniform she brought with her to school.
Wanda thinks it was love at first sight when she saw you in her house months ago, playing video games with her brother Pietro. You are in the same class as him. Wanda has heard about a new student starting that day and she has been so ecstatic to meet you and endorse her candidacy as the class president. She has no idea that you will take her breath away when meeting you.
Wanda is used to have a number of suitors, both boys and girls, but no one has caught her attention yet. Wanda thought being a cheerleader would help her romantically, but somehow she was never interested in anyone after a single date. She will probably die a virgin.
But when she hears you laugh, it is the most beautiful thing Wanda has ever heard in her life. And it has become her mission to get to know you and be hers.
The only downside to it is you never seem interested in her. In fact, you are the only one who hasn't asked her out. She tried to ask Pietro if you were dating someone and if you liked girls, but he was also unaware of the answers.
Unbeknownst to Wanda though, your cheeks never return back to normal as you head to the darkroom to find Pietro. You have been crushing on his sister for too long now, but you know you have no chance.
You're barely a nobody. While Wanda is part of the popular girls, you are just the school's newly assigned photographer.
You fell in love with Wanda when you took a picture of her in one of their cheerdancing practices, as ordered by the principal for the school newspaper.
You are basically a nerd, standing on the very last level of the food chain. She won't see you that way.
Wanda nods then turns back to her locker. She smiles as she brushes the selfie of you two together taped in her locker before closing.
But Wanda has seen you in every way.
"Come on, Wanda," Natasha calls, bringing Wanda back to the present. "We're going to be late for cheer practice."
Author's note: This will be a part of a series of short drabbles about Cheerleader Wanda, because I want to read more about Cheerleader Wanda but I don't have enough words to turn it into a fanfic. 😂✌
"Girls! Wait for me!" Wanda shouts as she runs towards her friends.
770 notes
·
View notes
Note
I want to know how you render.
A lot of people seemed to be oddly interested in how I render so...
Shape first
I use solid brush or lasso to block in the light and shadow first.
You can see this in the Till drawing because it's all hard edges
2. Add high saturation colour in the area where the light turns into shadow.
I like to do this cause it gives a glassy transparent feeling to my drawing.
like these:
3. Cause most of my drawings are 70% in shadow + 30% in light, i will render the shadow
that means, adding another "light" to the shadow, like reflective light or so. For the till drawing, its a blue light from the left
However, we need to make sure the secondary light doesn't destroy the main light source, so this secondary light will only cause hue and or saturation changes instead of value changes
...
Above are the logic for my doodle drawings, but if i want to continue, i will do the following:
4. Separating more forms
ie, for the till drawing
if the form faces left, it will be affected by the blue light.
if the form turns away from camera and not affected by the blue light, it will be redish
if the form is hard, shape will have hard edges
if the form turns, shape will have soft edges
5. Separate space
Things in front are solid and things in the back are blurry
---
Well, in my art logic, i think "rendering" is separating more layers of information, ie
separating form's plane (via lighting, edges etc)
separating space (via blurriness and light decay)
separating material (e.g. if hair strip is thin, it will be more transparent etc)
oh and i usually add gradients, so it contrasts with the hard blocks i make ✌
---
hope this helps
I posted some of my drawing process on Bilibili @356Migoro, if anyone is interested.
---
🤔Actually, I intended to make a YouTube channel to share my art shenanigans, but I'm just a bit too busy lately, let me know if there's anything else you are interested✌
---
also, normally I don't paint in a solid step-to-step process, its usually i realise that after i have done something, there's still not enough information, so that i "add logic" to my drawing. (e.g. adding the blue light for the till drawing)
---
and since people asked before:
i use CSP to paint everything
I only use 5 type of pens, they are my main partners in crime✌✌✌ (1) lasso and Default G-pen to line and block in hard edges, (2) Transparent pens for mixing colour (3) Blur tool, (4) Gradient (5) texture pen
glhf
#art tutorial#digital art#art process#thanks for having me lols... have a good day#and the reason why my art style changed a lot after my Slow Damage period#is that i traveled to a mountain in China to seek art knowledge from Ale-sensei#(its actually a proper art training institution in China called Magic Leaders but I'm just trying to be funny here)#so yea I am still trying to find my balance between what i already knew and what i learnt there...#and there's a period where i learnt too much and i became really confused so my art style is not very consistant
142 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've noticed some misconceptions about how Dark's powers work in my time in the fandom, some of which I believed myself, so I thought I'd make a post going over their powers and how they seem to work within AvA canon. I'm mostly just making this for my own reference, but hopefully this will be useful for other people too 👍
(For the record, I'm not trying to call out or criticize anyone by making this, it's purely for reference purposes. You do whatever you want when writing/drawing stuff)
Without Wristbands
Without the wristbands introduced in The Showdown, Dark only has three* powers that we're ever shown, compared to the four+ that Chosen has, which I will describe below.
The power they use the most is pyrokinesis, much like Chosen has. They can create fire, and use fire to fly.
They're also shown to be able to breathe fire like Chosen does, despite not having a visible mouth (ie. A pac man mouth).
Dark can also create what I can only think to call fire bombs, and has done so in every episode they've appeared in. These are unique to them and Firefox, and Chosen is not shown to share this ability, (which leads me to believe that this is not directly linked to their shared pyrokinesis abilities).
*I'm not sure if this counts as one power or two, but I'm going to talk about them as two facets of one power.
Dark and Chosen both seem to possess some sort of heightened physical resilience, as well as super strength. Being thrown through walls, and throwing others through walls, with little to no actual damage being sustained.
(It's difficult to get proper screenshots of this, but you can see it in just about every scene the two are part of.)
There's also. whatever the hell this attack was. which I can only think to put under this section, because they never do anything like this again.
At no point is Dark shown to have laser eyes as part of their normal powers.
With Wristbands
With the wristbands, Dark's power set completely changes. They're never shown using their normal powers again after this point, which leads me to think they may not be able to, though that's 100% speculation on my part.
They gain a number of new abilities, as well as a boost to their physical strength and resilience, seeming to surpass Chosen's abilities. Specific powers and abilities are described below.
They gain multiple abilities previously used by the Virabots, including the ability to fly/levitate without the use of fire (which they could not do previously), and summon spikes that delete things they hit.
There's also some things that seem to be unique to them in this state, namely being some sort of black energy balls they can throw, laser eyes of their own, and, most iconically, the ability to summon the V blade.
The exact properties of these abilities (minus the blade) are unclear.
The V blade, however, is a sharp, sword-like weapon, which has the ability to cut through and instantly destroy normal stick figures, reducing them to code. It, alongside the Virabots themselves, also seems to severely weaken both Chosen and Alan's cursor, ultimately destroying the latter and kicking Alan out of the battle.
Dark seems to be able to easily outpace Chosen with the wristbands on, throwing them around and eventually pinning them down with the help of the Virabots.
It also appears that they may have gained an immunity/resistance to Chosen's laser eyes, or at least they're less concerned about them. Previously in both AvA 3 and The Showdown, they're shown to run away and avoid being hit by the lasers, but after putting on the wristbands, they tank laser beams with no hesitation.
I don't really have much of a conclusion to this post, so I'll leave it here for now. Hopefully this is useful, or at least interesting, to others! ✌
#mine#not a reblog#ava#animator vs animation#ava the dark lord#for later#reference#analysis#< does this count as an analysis??? idfk
102 notes
·
View notes
Text
EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED !
your best friend has a big game, you nearly die, something you've been waiting for centuries happens in one of the most unexpected moments.. pretty crazy week, right?
pairing , non-idol!yujin x gn!reader
genre , fluff, you deserve it 😓 also crack 😋
word count , 3.6k
warnings , lowercase intended, not proofread, smau included, highschool!au, near death experience, car accident (that's def not an accident), bullying, swearing, ocs, .. reader is implied to be filo? (BANANA KETCHUP ILY), both of them are down bad, yujin plays basketball cs I don't know how to write football games ✌✌, kissing.. well on the cheek, that's all I think..
[ note: this fic is based on another fic, it is recommended to read that one first! ]
[ see more? ] ─ [ og post ]
you hear endless notifications coming from your phone inside your pocket, that's probably yujin. normally you would check it but the red light is so close to disappearing. why is it even here? there were no cars anyways.
3..
2...
1!
you start making your way to the other side of the road as you stare at the white horizontal lines you're walking on.
you start to lose focus until.. did your headphones just die on you? great.
you start to walk slowly as you remove your headphones and keep them in your bag. you hear multiple people honking at one car that is going faster than what the speed limit is supposed to be.
wait a minute.
is that car going..
towards..
you?
you turn your head to see the speeding car that those people got mad at.
"w-WHAT THE FFUUU-"
you drop your headphones that literally cost a whopping 500 plus a shipping fee out of shock and run like you're sonic the hedgehog and you're running away from sirenhead. i'm not exaggerating.
you hear your headphones get crushed by the car as you stop near a street lamp. did you just survive a car accident? but clearly your headphones didn't and took the fall for you. well shit.
you try to take a look at the driver who literally almost killed you.. he looks familiar doesn't he? you just can't seem to remember who it is. the driver owns a car that looks really expensive though..
wait. is your mind playing tricks on you or is that..
EUNKYUNG'S DAD?? THE ONE WHO MADE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S BULLY???
"shit, gotta tell him about this.." you whisper to yourself and grab your phone out of your pocket. it seems like yujin's worried about you not answering right away.. too clingy for a best friend, but you like it though.
"w.. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY SURVIVED?!"
the loud voice can be heard around the entire first floor. although, nobody really cares. eunkyung always throws tantrums that what seems like a loud scream, loud enough for others to think that she's getting murdered, is just nothing to the people living with her.
her father sighs and tries to reason with his bratty daughter. "listen I was speeding, even I wouldn't have survived that. that [name] is a fast thinker and just ran away like they're the usain bolt."
"ugh.. they always mess up my plans.. CURSE YOU HAN YUJIN AND [NAME]!!!" eunkyung exits the room to go in her own. her father watches as she goes up the stairs looking infuriated. what did he do to raise the definition of brat? the devil herself? he even got dragged in her shenanigans as well..
"there's no way that happened.."
kyungsoo, jiwon's girlfriend, also known as the better kyung, joined the drama session inside yujin's room. she took another piece of popcorn and tossed it inside her mouth. her other hand was playing with jiwon's hair whose head was laying on kyungsoo's lap. "ew.. lovebirds.." yujin muttered.
"yeah also have you guys heard about jiyeon cheating on hiro with-" the entire group of friends was waiting for kyungsoo to finish her sentence but was met with silence. kyungsoo tried to check the box to get more popcorn, she looked inside the box and saw nothing but crumbs.
"um.. there's no popcorn." yujin raised his eyebrow in confusion. "..can't you at least finish your sentence? we're like waiting for a new episode because the last one left us on a big cliffhanger.." kyungsoo gets off yujin's bed and gets the popcorn box with her.
"yeah.. I'm getting more popcorn, you'll have to guess who the mysterious person is!"
"what the? kyungsoo you can't just-" you get cut off as kyungsoo shut the door on you.. sigh, you look at the bed if there's any other food except for popcorn. guess you'll have to follow her and get more snacks. you get off the bed and walk to the door, "[name], where are you going?"
well.. who else would have a deep voice except for your best friend, yujin? you turn to face him and see a worried look.. "uh.. to the convenience store? to buy some snacks?" he sighs, "[name].. you just survived a car accident. and you're going out again? on your own?" he gets up and grabs your hand to drag you back to his bed.
"what the? yujin-" your sentence gets cut off, again.. when yujin yanks you a little aggresively. you held his waist for support, the both of you end up to be in a.. pretty questionable position for friends? yujin ended up being under you, your faces a little too close to each other.
you didn't move a single inch and just stayed in your position, speechless. you can feel your cheeks burning. the room was filled with nothing but silence, and the air conditioner. he looks into your eyes deeply, then your lips for a little bit.. did he just do the triangle method? lord, this boy makes you go crazy..
yujin hand reaches for your face, is he actually going to.. no way.. it's finally happening, well.. maybe you're just delusional. he just removed the stray hair that's blocking your face, but surely that means something? he looks at you and smiles softly. how could you not fall for him?
you decided to break the silence and say something. "uh.. I should um.. go.." you're still blushing after everything that happened, did he do that on purpose? does he know?
"woah.. that was pretty good for a loser like you, yujin."
"what the heck?" yujin turns to see jiwon awake. "I thought you were asleep?" jiwon chuckles at yujin's reaction when he found out that she was awake and saw the entire thing.
"gosh.. you do all that yet you can't confess to them yet. really man? and for the your question I was never asleep, I just got too comfortable in your bed.." yujin can't seem to say something against her knowing that she's right.. "I'll help you."
your day is so not going great.. first you nearly died in a car accident, and yujin.. is just yujin.. that boy.. you recently just got out of yujin's house and currently going to the nearest convenience store to get more snacks. the sun's almost down, meaning that you'll go back home after a few hours. fortunately, you don't have to go to the other side of the road to get to the convenience store.
you get closer to the store, but you start to hear footsteps behind you. it's probably nothing.. but why is it speeding up? you turn around to see who's the mysterious person behind you.. "WHAT THE FU-"
the person jumps at you for a hug. the both of you fall due to the fact that the hug was unexpected, you fall hard on your butt while the person lets go of you. "ouch... who the heck are you..?" you look up to see.. kyungsoo? what's she doing out here?
"..kyungsoo? why are you here?" she looked at you worriedly, that hug was one of the deadliest ones known to man, surviving death counter: 2.. kyungsoo lends you a hand and helps you get up, "I'm so sorry I didn't think it would end up badly.." she apologizes with a very worried look all over her face and holds both of your hands.
you groan at the pain in your butt, the sidewalk isn't the smoothest or flattest one that you've ever seen. it's very far from that actually.. "ow.. still doesn't answer my question though, why are you here?" you ask again incase she forgets.
"uh.. I noticed that we ran out of cheese powder for the popcorn and sour cream powder for the fries, so I went here to get more! also I noticed that the snacks in my house are running out so I decided to buy them too.."
"I see.. let's go now. the next thing you know the store will close.." kyungsoo holds your hand and walks with you to the convenience store.
.. great. you jinxed it. the both of you stare at the store and watch as the owner closes it. no snacks.. no flavor.. what will you do?
"I.. think I can handle popcorn with no flavor..? don't know about fries though.." kyungsoo breaks the silence, she's still staring and the broken sign with blinking letters. ".. just add salt and mix ketchup and mayo for the sauce?" you answer her, she finally turns to look at you in curiosity.
"you can do that? well, that is a.. rather interesting combination.. but I'll try!"
"WAIT!! it's recommended to use banana ketchup.. yujin already has it, I gave one bottle to him because he was curious.."
"hurry up then!!" kyungsoo starts running away from you, suddenly this turns into a race to see who gets to yujin's house the fastest.
for a pretty short time. the both of you are exhausted and sweating.. this sidewalk is also not the best place to run, what's wrong with this sidewalk? are there no good traits about it?
"wait.. [name].. I.. forgot to ask you something.." kyungsoo pauses a lot to catch her breath and also due to the fact that she's.. really exhausted... "huh? .. what is it?" you on the other half.. it's not that bad compared to kyungsoo. she's not the athletic person, she's very far from that.. you're even convinced that she's the opposite of athletic!
"[name] you.. you.. like yujin.. don't you?"
the sudden question caughts you off guard, you feel your heart beating faster. was it that obvious? or did jiwon give up on keeping her mouth shut and told her about it.. either way, avoiding the question makes it even more obvious, so you just admit it. "uh.. yeah.. was it really that obvious?"
"oh.. not really. jiwon just told me." knew it, that girl can't keep herself from telling her girlfriend everything. one of the reasons why almost no one share their secrets to her. "as expected.. she can't control herself when it comes to secrets.."
kyungsoo turns to look at you and smirks, "you and yujin huh.. I got a feeling that he likes you too.." you look away from her to hide your blushing face and your smile. "hey don't get my hopes up.." she giggles at your embarrassment. "okay okay.. but I'm not wrong though?"
"whatever...."
today's the game.. you kept your promise to yujin when you said that you'll make a whole banner to support him, and also be annoyingly loud. unfortunately, your seatmates are from the other school..
currently the game is going well for yujin's team, you decided to take that opportunity to rub it in your seatmates' faces. behind you are jiwon and kyungsoo, you can hear them giggling by you having a fight with strangers from the other school.
you felt the need to fix yourself and go to the bathroom. you stood up and gave the banner to jiwon and kyungsoo, you walked to the bathroom expecting that no one would be there due to the fact that the entire hallway is empty and not a single noise is heard except the game.
you open the door of the bathroom and was met with the most awful person to ever live in this century, eunkyung. what does she want.. she smirks at your annoyed face, "it seems that you got lucky and survived.." you scoff, you get your phone out to ignore her and attempt to make her irritated.
"so you admit that you did it? try to look menacing all you want but you're just revealing your crimes." nice, now she's the one that's annoyed. ".. w-well, that would've been obvious. don't be stupid.." she stutters at her words, almost speechless about her unintended mistake. that's good.. you need to be more annoying and make her expose herself. she's definitely not the brightest person you've seen in the school.
"get your ass out of my way, I didn't go here to see your disgusting face." eunkyung gets offended and gasps dramatically, "should've made father go faster.. you know what, I should've been there with him so that you'd see this disgusting face during the last moments of your life!" she screams at you without thinking about the consequences, you smirk at the girl's stupidity.
you decided to stop having your fun before eunkyung thinks of another way of killing you. "good luck with that.. also, thank you." she stares at you with the word confused all over her face. you make your way towards the door outside. "..for what?" she asked you genuinely, but you never answer.
".. for everything you said." you whispered to yourself. you exit the bathroom and take your phone out, you smiled to yourself and paused the audio recorder.
you finally returned to your chair, you're lucky that you used that audio recorder after learning from your past attempts of trying to screw up eunkyung's evil plans. "[name]! why did you take so long? did you have gallons of pee or something.." jiwon asks you and gives you your huge banner back. "oh it's.. something happened again, I'll tell you later." you look around the place and catch eunkyung at your left staring at you. you sit on your chair and watch the game, well.. specifically yujin.
"your boyfriend is winning by the way.." kyungsoo whispers in your ear to tease you. "hey, he's not my boyfriend.." although you wish he was.. jiwon giggles and follows her girlfriend with teasing you. "yet!" you roll your eyes at them and continue to watch the game.
yujin gets called for a break and returns to his team. you finally get a close up of what he looks like right now, you can clearly see that he's very.. sweaty. to be honest he looks really handsome like that, but you've seen him like this a few times before and you were trying to keep yourself from giggling like a loser who's madly in love with their crush. okay you take that back you are a loser who's madly in love.. you're real lucky that jiwon and kyungsoo are behind you because you're blushing real bad..
he wipes his face and neck with a towel and looks at you. you notice and look away swiftly in shyness, you can feel your heartbeat speeding up and your face turning pink. you attempt to sneak a glance at him but find that yujin is still staring at you, he starts smiling and waves at you. you smile back awkwardly and give him a thumbs up with both of your hands, he chuckles and finally sits down. lord, this boy really makes you crazy.
you see a girl his age hand him a towel for him to wipe his sweat, he smiles at her the.. same way he did at you. what the heck? maybe you were getting your hopes up too much.. you unconsciously furrow your eyebrows and frown slightly as you watch their interaction. wait, why are you even jealous? it's not like it's your business or that you have the right to.. nevermind.
you stop staring at them to prevent yourself from getting even more jealous. you didn't notice yujin staring at you looking all angry, 'maybe I should do this more.. they look cute like that' he thought to himself. you also didn't notice jiwon and kyungsoo giggling at the both of you.
"you were right.. they look so cute together!" kyungsoo whispers to jiwon, "well.. we were like that before, right?"
"yeah.. I'm glad we could experience it again." kyungsoo lays her head on her girlfriend's shoulder.
yujin gets called again to go back to the court. ricky, that famous senior known for being "young and rich, tall and handsome", comes up to yujin and pats his back, yujin runs to the court and starts playing. whatever they're doing, not like you know much about basketball anyways.
some time passes as the game continues normally, with your school still in the lead and the other school catching up. you stopped screaming and cheering and also have the banner folded, you're spent.. so are your seatmates from the other school, all of you are just watching peacefully. you can hear a couple of people screaming as the game almost draws to an end..
the ball is currently at one of the guys from the other school, 'park, 8' on the back of his jersey. you have to admit, he's kinda cute.. got a few girls screaming for him.. he passes the ball to one of his teammates but one of yujin's teammates, gyuvin, ends up getting the ball. he runs and then passes the ball to yujin quickly.
the time almost runs out as yujin runs to the hoop, the screaming gets even louder.. you watch yujin closely and see how determined he is to score.. 'come on yujin... you can do it.....' you thought to yourself, you held the banner laying on your lap tightly.
yujin decides to shoot the ball at a pretty risky place, the crowd goes silent and watches if the ball gets in the hoop. the players can't do anything but watch it.
'so close...'
'you're running out of time, yujin....'
3..
2..
1..
"3 POINTS, HAN YUJIN SCORES 3 POINTS!!"
the people from your school shout and cheer loudly as the others can't do anything but sigh in defeat.. you stood up from your seat and quickly ran to yujin, both jiwon and kyungsoo watch, still in their seats, as you ran to your best friend. you saw him and jumped into his arms immediately without warning him.
"hey.. that's what I did to them!" kyungsoo told jiwon, she laughed as yujin fell from your sudden attack. "ouch.. what was that for?!" yujin says as he gets up and sits on the floor, you get off of him and help him get up. "you.. you won!! oh my gosh you actually, you actually did it!!" you hug him again, your arms around his waist and your head on top of his shoulder. he reciprocates the hug and smiles widely.
"oh my gosh I actually.. I love you so much.." he says unconsciously while hugging you tighter but you let go of him in shock, both of your hands cover your mouth that's wide open after what he said. yujin realizes and does the same thing.
"I-I'm sorry that was so sudden uh.. you.. don't have to say anything.." both of your faces turn extremely red, yujin slowly backs up from you in embarrassment and fear that you won't like him back. he turns his head away from you while you still stare at him, you run up to him and hug him again.
"I.. I love you too!! you don't know how long I've been waiting for this!!" you smile widely while yujin is still frozen due to your words. he turns his head to look at you all joyful and wraps his arms around your waist. he smiles back at you and stares at you lovingly, you let go of his torso and use both of your hands to hold his cheeks. you can feel them burning and getting hotter as you hold them softly.
you smile and laugh at each other for not knowing what to do, you ended up kissing the both of his cheeks, a lot. yujin giggles and then lays his head on your shoulder after.
"hey yujin!" a familiar voice interrupts the both of you, he turns around to see ricky. "not bad, kid.. seems like you got yourself a partner too." ricky teases his younger teammate and giggles at how yujin's face turns pink and how you still haven't let go of him. "let's celebrate later, ricky's treat!" gyuvin, beside ricky, pops up in the conversation. ricky looks at his friend confused. "hey I never said anything!"
"well too bad, it's on you now!" gyuvin says. the both of them continue bickering until ricky decides to leave the both of you together. and.. you hear another voice behind you again.
"so.. finally confessed to each other?" the both of you turn around to see jiwon and kyungsoo behind you. "you.. you were here all along? at this point you could be a spy.." yujin says to jiwon surprised about how this happened for the second time.. jiwon chuckles, "no. we just got down, kyungsoo was the one who told me about you two." kyungsoo smiles and realizes something. "hey! about what happened inside the bathroom.. I thought you were going to tell us?"
"I don't think I should tell you here.. maybe when we get out?" kyungsoo sighs about how she's going to stay curious.. you feel something on your hands, you look at it and see a new pair of headphones. the headphones that you sacrificed. you then look at yujin, the one who gave them to you.
"what? I promised that I'd give you new ones?" you smiled and kept the box of headphones inside your bag, you held yujin's hand and follow jiwon and kyungsoo as they go outside the court. "so.. what was kyungsoo talking about earlier?" yujin asks you, you get closer to him and whisper to his ear, "eunkyung admitted that she tried to kill me.. I recorded it inside my phone.."
yujin widened his eyes in shock. ".. what do I do with it though?" you ask him quietly. "let's not do something yet.. we need things to go smoothly. this is eunkyung we're talking about.." you nod in understanding.
and now.. your week comes to an end. should take the award for 'the most unexpected and maybe the luckiest week in your life'.. expect the unexpected I guess..?
[ note: THEY'RE HAPPY NOW!! :33 AND KYUNGSOO IS BACK AS WELL!!!! honestly I was rushing to write this and it was harder cs I was planning to make yujin a football player 😓😓 YOU GUYS HAPPY NOW??? 😒😒😒 ]
taglist: @zahraism , @taesansidechick / @jelllijeans , @goldoie / @n-americano
#riyangiis#zb1#zerobaseone#yura.writes !#zerose.library#han yujin#kpop#zb1 x reader#yujin#yujin zb1#zb1 yujin#yujin zerobaseone#zerobaseone yujin#han yujin imagines#han yujin x reader#yujin x reader#zerobaseone fluff#zb1 fluff#zerobaseone x reader#zerobaseone imagines#zb1 imagines#zerobaseone scenarios#zb1 scenarios#zb1 smau#zerobaseone smau#kpop smau#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#kpop fluff
101 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was thinking about the concept of object "gore". Not like, flesh and blood gore, but like, "gore" based on the material of that object. Tattered fabric, scrap metal, spilled juice, shattered glass, etc.
When you think of it as a cartoony thing, yeah, it's funny! Like seeing Lightbulb/OJ from II shattering, Woody burning to death, etc etc, it's just a silly lil' gag! But imagine it from the perspective of an Object.
First off, how would objects react to "gore"? I mean, it's rather hard to differentiate between shredded fabric from a random shirt versus one from an Actual Sentient Object.
Imagine seeing a crime scene, a bedroom, completely torn apart. Cuts and slashes, an assortment of fabric and stuffing scattered everywhere. How do you tell torn blankets apart from the deceased Pillow?
Imagine being an electronic Object, walking in a lab/warehouse/factory, and seeing bits and pieces of wires, metal, chips, and plastic shells strewn around the place. Other Objects might not think much about it, it's just random scraps. But to the poor electronic Object, they might as well just be a pig in a slaughterhouse.
What's even more horrifying is the thought of seeing materials where they don't belong. Fallen leaves, twigs, and wooden splinters in a forest? That's normal! Seeing those in the living room? Unless you had a door open during a storm, that's definitely not normal. Doesn't help that you haven't seen your best friend Oak in a while. Could this be what's left of them?
What about ways to deal with the bodies? To hide an Object's body, you could just. "Modify" them. Wood? Carve them into something else. Paper? Tear them apart and just the wind scatter the remains! Plastic? Reuse, reduce, recycle. There's no blood to worry about!
Anyways, the thing that lead me to this entire idea in the first place is splatter movies (aka, those movies with a TON of gore). How would it work in an Object setting? For humans, you can just easily paint something red and call it a day, but Objects don't have that (unless they do in your setting, then uh. Ignore this).
Would they just throw a bunch of scraps into the scene and call it a day (like how most splatter movies tend to have WAYYYY more blood than what a normal human being should have)? Or would there be a more universal symbol of The Body?
Anyways, that's all I have in my mind ✌
#pink posts#osc#object show community#object oc ideas#<-- not really an “oc” idea but yeah. sticking with that tag#was thinking way too much about object anatomy and splatter movies. and tma as well#feel free to ask me to tag stuff! since i'm not sure if i needed to tag anything here#object worldbuilding
388 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think peace is a very difficult thing.
It's easy to say, ""Let's all get along without fighting."" You live a normal life and get involved with people who don't fit in. Sometimes someone can make you feel bad, right?
Because it is difficult to realize, I think it is very important for each of us to think about peace, even if only a little.
I know there are a lot of stressful things to see and experience. I decided on this concept because I want everyone to have a peaceful mindset as much as possible!
I dared to use a flower that means ""peace"" in the language of flowers as a pattern on a military item to emphasize the message of pe✌ce.
I hope that the clothes you wear will give you a chance to think about peace. I would be happy if people take my clothes and think about what peace is!
by Anne Faulkner
source
#;raven's posts 💜#paradox live#paralive#new SWANK illustration dropped too. A good day for Paralive fans <3
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
My version of the Rainbow Factory AU:
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
youtube
youtube
youtube
As a big fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and the original Rainbow Factory songs and Grimdark fanfiction, I am intrigued with the concept of the Rainbow Factory!Wally AU.
The only issue I have is that I can't find any content for RF!Wally that has a story were Wally Darling feels like Wally Darling and where a Rainbow Factory would makes sense in the world of Welcome Home.
So I'm going to try doing it myself! Wish me luck...
This AU is subject to change with the more we learn about Welcome Home!
The AU starts off fairly normally, with the popular show Welcome Home getting cancelled for unknown reasons: this causes the neighbourhood to become vulnerable, and is attacked by the Void, which latches onto Home like a parasite, leeching off their lifeforce, causing the neighbourhood to decay and lose it's colour.
Due to his status as Home's resident and the main character of the show, Wally is the only other resident still conscious after the upheaval.
Home, now calling themself "Factory", tells Wally if he wants to save his friends and home, he will need invite ❄︎♒︎♏︎ ✌︎◆︎♎︎♓︎♏︎■︎♍︎♏︎ over to the neighbourhood and make them into "sacrifices". Wally doesn't understand what is going on or what the word "sacrifices" means, but trusts Home and follows their instructions.
He knows what "Sacrifices" means now.
Regardless, it works, and the Factory creates a beautiful rainbow that brings life and colour back into the neighbourhood.
Wally's beloved neighbours are a bit dazed, but otherwise completely fine. They don't even realise anything terrible happened.
Factory tells him that, unfortunately, this won't last forever; Wally must keep bringing in more sacrifices, keep making rainbows, otherwise the Neighbourhood will die.
Notes:
The Neighbours are blissfully unaware about what happens inside the Rainbow Factory, beyond that it makes rainbows (which drives Frank nuts because SCIENCE but whatever).
Working at the Factory has taken a monstrous toll on Wally's mental and physical health. He tries to act normal for his friends, but they've all noticed. They are all very worried him, especially Barnaby.
Factory is the Void, not Home.
Factory acts very manipulative and emotionally abusive towards Wally; peppering him with praise when following orders and cutting him off at the knees when he questions them.
Wally is psychically connected with Home, which lets Factory directly control the puppet at times.
What do you think? I'm open to any questions, suggestions and/or critiques and will make more if you're interested... eep...
#Rainbow Factory Wally#Wally Darling#welcome home puppet show#rainbow factory au#alternate universe#au#my art#happy halloween#rainbow factory
83 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay. massages temples. it's time for. a star trek update. last night we did voy's "the omega directive" and (grits teeth) ds9's "his way."
the omega directive (voy):
right out of the gate, it's really difficult how many times they said the word "omega" in this episode. i tried very hard to take it seriously but only succeeded for about 60-70% of the time
we had our first real seven/chakotay scene in this episode, outside of him being the one to help sever her from the collective. i still don't totally see janeway/chakotay/seven in my mind palace but i'm working on it.
loved also the chakotay and janeway conversation but "closest friend" lol like we are literally being hetbaited. tuvok is her closest friend. b'elanna is probably chakotay's closest friend. janeway and chakotay are not close friends, they are lovers. not that being lovers means you can't also be friends! but that's not how they made him say it.
i thought this was a really good episode like...touching on seven's idea of religion/spirituality (even if we had to work in some racism re: chakotay's spirituality) without being too heavy-handed or dumb
janeway and seven clashing once again...mwah. ✌👅 or whatever. i admit sometimes this feels a little repetitive, but because both actresses deliver such good performances, i can't be too disappointed.
i am grinding my teeth a little at the logistic details of this episode. while the character stuff was very good and a WELCOME relief after a string of truly horrendous episodes, the plot was like swiss cheese. destroying this particle supersedes the prime directive? what happened to it being, you know, prime? in fact, BECAUSE they destroyed it, an entire civilization will die...not because of the prime directive but because we chose to ignore it. which you can't do! it's the prime directive! how imperialist for the utopic fedderation to impose their laws on civilzations that haven't even reached warp yet! janeway is trying to protect the safety of this quadrant? it's not even her quadrant! what gives her the right! is she just that afraid of losing warp capability and hiding behind federation regulations? let's dig into that! except they dug into none of that. a glaring flaw on an otherwise really good episode.
his way (ds9):
i don't want to talk about it........BUT I'M GONNA
(i actually ran into the character limit for paragraphs talking about it, so i have abandoned the normal bullet list format lol)
man, okay, like...how do i even begin to express my disappointment. not just in a ds9 let me down way but in like your favorite teacher being disapointed in you kind of way. the old janeway lecture in the ready room kind of disappointment. just a bone-deep, didn't-know-anyone-was-capable-of-fucking-up-this-bad, disappointment.
ik i said this already but no WONDER people hate kira/odo as a ship, down to even the actors. i've had some problems with how it's been portrayed lately (6.03 and 6.04 what were we DOING), but i've been willing to ignore them because i'm used to giving ds9 the benefit of the doubt and because i like the ship so much. after reading the summary i knew this episode would be bad and possibly also have kira/odo content and was prepared to try and enjoy whatever i could and write off the rest. but this was just unforgivable start to finish. i couldn't find even a single moment i liked.
let's start with the obvious, most egregious offense: kira does NOT want to be hologrammed. we had an ENTIRE EPISODE about it in which ODO HIMSELF helps her yell at quark about it. making her up as a hologram for odo to practice his kira wooing skills on was a huge violation of her rights, wishes, autonomy, etc. she should have been furious. this episode definitely commits a lot of sins, but i think this is the one that is most blatantly disrespectful, and also ties in to the biggest issue i had (more on that in a second).
the holodeck character was fine, or could have been fine. as far as holodeck episodes go, if any show could make me like them, it'd have been ds9. and the guy himself was FINE, and likable even, until he started breaking the rules of what was possible (contacting odo through the communications system when his hologram should have been deactivated, for example), and what was ethical (setting odo and kira up under false pretenses). now suddenly he is annoying and i hate him (and i feel bad saying this, because i know fandom likes him and his actor recently passed away - this episode was not his fault!!). illogical and unethical holodeck fuckery is the LAST thing i expect from ds9, which always sets out to critique some of the things from other star trek shows that make no sense or ignore potential ramifications of hand wavey world-building, which, again, HAD AN EPISODE ABOUT IT BEING UNETHICAL TO HOLODECK KIRA.
i think also it's really weird and unfair to suggest, through quark, that odo "waited too long" to make a move on kira when they SPECIFICALLY had an entire conversation (that i loved!) about how odo had been thinking about asking her to dinner and then decided not to because of the impending threat of cardassian takeover. they MUTUALLY AGREED ON and were MUTUALLY RELIEVED BY the idea of putting the revelation of odo's feelings to the side to focus on business, and that conversation actually allowed a really unique and lovely dynamic to form in a very organic way - odo loves her, and she knows he loves her, but the burden of having to give him a response to those feelings is totally removed. he's not asking for a response. he isn't asking for anything. she isn't obligated to give him anything. and on the flip side, he is relieved from the burden of having to hide that love. it is simply allowed to exist peacefully between them. this ALSO ties into the biggest issue i had with this writing, which is...
where were kira and odo? cuz they weren't in this episode. we seemed to forget their histories, their desires, their dynamic, and even their god damn personalities in order to replace them with some vaguely uncharming couple from a low-budget hallmark romcom?? hello???
like, think of the popular trek romances, or the couples that fans think of romantically. spock and kirk (and bones if you like) are people defined by loneliness who understand each other on a deep level they can't get elsewhere and soothe that loneliness with each other. both spock and bones and janeway and seven challenge each other's ideas of humanity and how the world works. chakotay finds peace in serving janeway's needs after the turmoil of a hopeless war and she finds a safe place to let go of her captain job with him. dax's flippant personality encourages worf to relax and his strict personality gives her someone to both tease and rely on. sisko and kassidy get to nerd out about baseball together, yet both understand their duty/morals come before their feelings. julian and garak both understands what it is to need forgiveness, and julian's compassion plays well off of the cold-hearted nature of a former obsidian order operative. even in fucking TNG, you had will and deanna who both love trying new things and are down to clown and want to go on adventures together. kira and odo have a dynamic, too, but it was not present in this episode - this, the episode where after FOUR SEASONS OF BAIT they finally make it official??
like, odo is stiff and unyielding, yes - but that means he doesn't find it in himself to loosen up by playing a fake piano for fake people. even DATA, in fucking tng, recognized that when he told bad jokes to a fake crowd and they laughed anyway because they were programmed to do that, that the entire exercise was without meaning. and data is WAY more autistic than odo, all my love to both. odo is not some nice guy incel type who wants to have kira simply for the sake of having her - he didn't fuck anybody in his entire life until like season 5 and that episode was ALSO really fucking bad. odo doesn't need to loosen up in order to pursue kira - IT IS KIRA WHO MAKES HIM LESS UNYIELDING. that is the entire point of them! when they first met, they were both seen as beings without personhood, whose lives had no value. she appealed to his humanity and asked him to see hers so she wouldn't be left to the mercies of the cardassians. it worked because she appealed to the HUMAN inisde him (for lack of a better word) which no one had ever done before. in heart of stone, he even says to the fake kira that she changed the way he felt about his OWN NAME, which was given to him because it was the cardassian word for NOTHING. HE WAS NOTHING. SHE SAW HIM AS MORE THAN THAT. this is, CANONICALLY, the basis of this relationship. this episode was so good BECAUSE he discovered such a pivotal moment was based on a lie. it was IMPORTANT.
and kira in this episode had almost no voice at all. she was someone to be sought after, chased, and then ultimately had after her "perfect moment of clarity" - which then lost meaning because she had two in a row - and which we never got to HEAR about. how does she FEEL? this is the episode where they get to together! but she never gets to tell us. it's an egregious offense considering her voice is usually a loud one, like her emotions - so loud, in fact, that odo is usually kira's rock, her calming presence. from the very first season, she has gone to him in times of emotional turmoil, because he so rarely lets that kind of turmoil rock his boat. he keeps a level demeanor, and he is able to sort through a lot of her anger and fears with a level head. when she is considering betraying an old friend in the THIRD!!! EPISODE!!! odo is the one she turns to. odo always has her coffee and reports ready on time. he will inform her if anyone she knows comes to the station or goes missing or whatever. he respects her wishes even when he doesn't agree with them. the fake kira, a perfect replica by most estimations, even agreed that they were not the type to bullshit each other. odo is safety and predictability in the stormy environment of a post-war bajor. WHAT WAS HER MOMENT OF CLARITY? probably not that, but we'll never know because SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO TELL US. she existed only to be pursued. the episode is even called "his way" - yes, a play on "my way" by frank sinatra, but still - it's like odo finally got HIS WAY and was able to have kira like he'd always wanted. "i've waited so long to hold you like this" is there really NOTHING else he wanted from that relationship? one might even argue odo wouldn't know what to do with that kind of love, how to express it in ways like physical affection - that could be part of why he was able to love her silently for so long. we saw hints of this in the season 5 episode, with future odo - there was a distinct lack of that odo telling her what she meant to him and why, which is nuts, considering our own odo was able to do that for lwaxana troi at their FAKE WEDDING when he only loved her platonically - but at least that episode had personality and merit. this had none.
and for all the trappings - the candlelit dinners, the music, the fancy dresses - this episode was DEVOID of true romance. the only moment where they had any chemistry at all was the kiss, and it was entirely out of character. a bicker-bicker-kiss scenario is GREAT and it's one of my favorites, but it doesn't fit THESE CHARACTERS. the kiss they shared in season 5, with future odo, had more personality than the one from this episode. in that, you could feel his longing, the release of his pain, and her uncertainty, along with her compassion in wanting to give that to him. in this, they got mad, and it happened so fast...but they aren't a bickership. i love kiraodo, and i love bickerships, the two things are just NOT the same. kira and odo argue only very rarely and when they do it's about very serious shit, like, kira's fucking worldview in "you take down the cardassians with me or i will fight you too" kinda shit. "our first meeting was based on a lie" kind of shit. they COULD have had a knockdown dragout fight about odo's use of a holo-kira (which wasn't even his idea, to be fair, but given his normal respect of her autonomy was EXTREMELY out of character for him to agree to use), but she wasn't allowed to have opinions or a personality in this episode, so they instead argued over absolutely nothing to shoehorn in a romcom scene that did an injustice to both the characters and their relationship.
furthermore: ableism. walk with me here. again, odo and kira MUTUALLY AGREED to put the question of a romantic relationship on hold for the time being. if both or one of them were ready to pursue that question again, both of them are capable of bringing that up like the adults that they are because part of this dynamic that they have is that they don't BULLSHIT each other. that's why the Big Lie was such a big deal! that's why kira feels so safe unloading on odo! that's part of why odo admires her! the idea that kira has gone to bajor to hook up with shakaar either because she was genuinely tired of waiting for odo to make a move (WHEN THEY HAD AN ENTIRE CONVERSATION ABOUT WHY HE WAS NOT YET AKING A MOVE AND SHE WAS RELIEVED WITH HIS DECISION) or because she was trying to HINT that it was time for him to make a move is ridiculous. kira nerys does not HINT at people. if she wanted something from odo, she knows good and damn well all she has to do is ask. in fact, unwilling though it was, he has already laid his feelings on the table - the ball is technically in HER court. (even in the 90s, this idea that the guy always has to do the pursuing is old and tired and sexist.)
but i am getting off topic. how does this come back around to ableism? it's the idea that, in the defiance of this canon, odo does not have to simply bring up to kira how he feels, or what he wants to do, but that he has to "loosen up." the idea that he's too weird, too socially inept, and that his natural personality and preferences and way of doing things and his past experiences are obstacles to be erased and overcome rather than THE UNIQUE REASONS KIRA LIKES HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE is insulting at best and yeah at its worst ableist. what did he even do at the dinner with kira that was so different from what he normally does? he stammered a lot and paid her a couple of compliments. he reminded her that he likes her. it was technically a date - one he didn't even ask her out on. are we saying odo, in-character, could not have done a better job than that without tired, outdated, "get the girl" lessons from (sorry, doc) a fucking hologram? even BARCLAY got better treatment than this. in tng! tng, which isn't even good! barclay, who is not even a good character! the things that ACTUALLY made him weird and undatable were things people venerated as "representation" while odo's less palatable personality traits need to be trained away during a self-playing piano musical number in order to make him fit to date kira. like it's un FUCKING believable.
finally, and this is a petty little nickpick, but i think i'm entitled at this point: the kiss being in public. kira and odo are both STUPIDLY private people. they are both REALLY uncertain about how their relationship will change by adding romance. they don't like people poking their noses into their business. kira only told ONE person about odo's feelings for her and only one person knew about odo's feelings for kira (if you don't count mommy changeling, which i don't). at one point it was one of odo's most closely guarded secrets, to the point of him hiding it from garak UNDER TORTURE and giving him the other big truth instead (that he wanted to go home) because of how vulnerable it makes him. and you want me to believe these two people just lost their heads in front of everyone on the promenade? you could have sold it to me if the rest of the episode was good and i might have loved it, but this episode was GARBAGE.
i have no idea what will happen with odo and kira from here out...i really hope it will be good, because i absolutely love the ship, but more and more i worry that they're just reducing them to "nice guy who finally got the girl" and "girl" and if that is the case i want no part of it. i find it MINDBLOWING that ds9 - ds9! - could screw up this monumentally, but it has, and now i just have to. deal with that, aaaaaugh.
anyway. TONIGHT: voy's "unforgettable" and ds9's "the reckoning." sheesh.
#personal#star trek blogging#voy lb#ds9 lb#i wrote this instead of working on my fanfic smh#if not for that fic i'd already be halfway thru some kind of fixit because that was ridiculous. unforgivable.#i feel so bad for the 90s girlies who liked this ship and waited 4 real life years for this. i cannot imagine the suffering#i read on memory alpha the guy who wrote this episode actually called fans who didn't like it names#he was like they just haven't had their tiny minds opened to the idea of a cheerful episodes but those are actually harder to write#if they're that hard to write my guy then don't write them. or let someone else do it#and definitely don't pull out the insults bc people didn't like your work. talk about tiny minds.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey y'all! i think i have to make the executive decision that this will now be a semi-active blog. like i only log in here and post every few days or every week 😭 i've been getting more responsibilities at work and just... moving along in my career in general which is great but i guess i don't have the energy to post as much anymore. i also just haven't been as interested in reading and writing fic recently, which is a normal thing for me - i'll enter a mental "no-fic season" for several months when the height of my excitement dies down.
i will try (emphasis on try) to log in once in a while to read fics and interact with people, but i just won't be around here as often anymore ✌ i hope everyone is doing well!!
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
OC-tober Day 1: Fav OC
To the surprise of no one who pays any attention to my tags, it's Izz/Candor lol. My changeling rogue/paladin (oath of the ambling rose, a homebrew sublcass by L. on itch.io, go check them out!), though I would like to adapt their story away from d&d eventually. Candor is one of Izz's Personas. My partner and I have been obsessing over them for 2 and a half years and we're still going strong ✌
More info about them under the read more 'cause I'm gonna be rambling.
So there's Candor. A tiefling paladin, an itinerant knight traveling to help those in need, whether those needs be big or small. A kind man, a good man. He has dedicated his life to the betterment of others. Almost too good to be true, really, a caricature, but he is earnest in his beliefs and his purpose.
All of that is true. But it is not the whole truth.
Izz was stolen from their birth family as a very young child and placed with a changeling "family". They were trained as an assassin and information thief/spy, with the ultimate goal of taking on the family's legacy Persona of renowned assassin/spy Varna Shadowhawk.
This was not a pleasant process. They were extremely isolated, and their training was rigorous and intense, even more so as it became evident that Izz was quite talented and they were put under further pressure to aim for perfection. They also developed other Personas, full people separate from themself with their own memories, a tactic meant to ensure information could be kept secret between identities as well as have specialized skill sets.
Now, I think that changelings are naturally inclined towards plurality and it's generally totally normal and healthy. In this situation, however, their mind was purposefully broken down to be able to have more complete separation and to prepare for the insertion of the Varna identity, which resulted in both an unhealthy system and an unstable psyche. They effectively have fantasy-enhanced DID and also experience psychosis (usually triggered by stress or by forcing switches between Personas or reaching for information or skills of another Persona without switching). Part of their long term story and character development is working on getting their system to a more healthy place where they can cooperate with their other Personas, and finding happiness and support as they continue to live with psychosis (and CPTSD).
Varna, btw, was a her own whole separate person at one point. How did she become an inherited changeling Persona? Why? Dunno. We never learned in the game before it dissolved, and my partner and I haven't come up with the specifics yet on our own. I can tell you that the process of inserting her into a new changeling involves a necromantic ritual where the changeling is killed and a portion of Varna's soul is placed in them before they're resurrected :) From then on it's a slow process of her presence growing and subsuming the other Personas and then eventually the changeling themself, becoming the Singularity. It's fine, don't worry about it.
Now Izz was all set on this path, forged into a ready vessel and living weapon. They didn't know any other way...but there was one small hiccup. One of their other Personas, Karim, a survivalist and cartographer, while out in the woods one day ran into a man named Veylan. A paladin and do-gooder, with an oath to travel wherever help is needed. And, surprisingly, they hit it off. And they keep running into each other, over the years. Karim learns about this crazy thing called "morals." Compassion. Caring for others. Veylan, so often alone on the road and apart from others even as his life's mission is to help them, finds a friend.
And one day Izz gets a glimpse of him through Karim's memories. Curious, they dive, rooting through their past interactions. And it's like the world opens up to them. A way to exist they had never conceived of. They become obsessed, and terrified, hoarding the memories that are not theirs but keeping them hidden and buried, knowing the punishment from their guardians if they found out would be swift and brutal, and Veylan would be in danger. But the thoughts of another life linger and grow. Especially as their younger adopted sibling, Yan, nears the time when the ritual will be performed. They have no concrete plan, but... what if they could get out. What if they could get Yan out, before they're cursed with Varna's soul.
Their older sibling, Ged, finds out. They find the barn where Karim will next meet Veylan. And, wearing Karim's face to get close, they kill him. Karim shows up and finds his friend dead, his own face above the body. Izz sees the death of their god. And in a fugue state of grief and rage, they kill their sibling. They take Veylan's holy symbol and armor. They take his face. They should not have been to walk out of here alive, so they don't. They make Candor in Veylan's image, and he walks away instead, knowing nothing of Izz or any past beyond his own hazy, half-formed memories and a desire to do good.
#bweirdoctober#OC-tober#my art#my ocs#dnd ocs#dnd character art#izz et al#izz#candor#<- you can dive into these tags if you want to get more vibes#izz et al is the general tag#izz et al art#izz art#candor art#id in alt text
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I keep thinking I should be drawing instead of writing fanfics because at least drawing I can rationalize as practising for future portfolio pieces instead of "wasting time" on fics which will not lead me to anything but like I'm still flip flopping on whether I even want art to be my job at all because like if I feel demotivated to even draw personal pieces about characters I care about deeply how am I gonna draw stuff I don't care about. Lmao. Or is it easier to draw stuff I don't care about precisely for that reason? I don't know. I keep saying I'm going to draw things other than F-Zero fanart and I don't. I know I'm better than I was before. I know I'm improving. It doesn't feel good enough or fast enough even though I know there's no set deadlines or milestones in life besides death lmao. I feel like I'm having a midlife crisis and I haven't even hit 40. I know hobbies don't have to become monetized. I know their value is in the joy they bring you. I still feel like I'm screaming into the void while at the same time the void is also inside of me. Why am I here. What am I doing. Why did I go to postsecondary twice just to end up in the same place with nothing useful. Did I only go back for the comfort of having my path charted out for me for a while? I went to school to learn to make games but I'm just ok at coding just ok at art just ok at whatever but no studio is gonna hire someone who is just ok at everything and good at nothing lmao. And so I could go solo. But every time I think about trying to work on my pet project from there that my prof and classmates praised as meaningful I lock up and shy away like touching it will erode me or something.
Sometimes I look at Ryu and go your entire fate was decided for you but sometimes I envy that. The way his path forward is always so clear. I envy his conviction. I envy the way Andy always seems to have a handle on things. I crave Bart's advice or Ryu's steadfast support or Jack's way of making people forget their troubles. You always project a little bit of yourself into your writing but I wonder if my insecurities and desires show so plainly through the way I characterize them. I wonder if they become unrecognizable as I bend them towards what I want. Sometimes I just keep clicking between my stats page and list of fanfics page because it feels good to have a tangible record of things I've made and people who liked it even for something as meaningless as this. I've been trying to find a new job for months now and I haven't gotten anything but silence or rejection lmao. I could go back to my old job but the thought of going back to the trapped feeling I had before I went back to postsecondary and spending another 6 years there makes me want to crawl into bed and not come out. Normal people just suck it up and work why can I not do it I can do it I have done it I'm (mostly) able bodied and young and it's been months since I graduated I need to work I don't want to go back to hearing people's life stories dragged out onto recordings and legal proceedings as I lie to the lawyers' faces like not even the retail postings will get back to me which is like. I have a BSc and a Diploma and I still can't find another job lmao. All the shit I'm applying to rn is retail or admin/clerk shit and I'm like. So what did I go to school for. Lmao. I know not everyone ends up in their field but like. Lol.
I don't think I have any mental conditions besides anxiety which the psych found was not at disability level but I don't know if she was testing for like. Depression also lmao. Or is it just the struggles of job hunting in the current tough market getting to me. Sorry to dump this on my FZ blog of all places but I did mention FZ so ✌😔
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
gaslighting myself with large amounts of copium into thinking yuki is still alive ✌✌✌🕊 she did NOT deserve to die for that crusty ass man 😢😢 ANYWAYS if u want to u should do a yuki x reader no curse au 😍😍😊 (gege told me yuki actually got rid of all cursed energy and now she's just chilling and travelling the world and wearing designer clothes its great 😊😊)
(real) LIKE OMG NOOOO I THOUGHT SHE WOULD ACTUALLY BECOME SOMETHING IN JJK BUT IG NOT😭 but yeah yuki x reader no curse au sounds great😍
Pairing: Yuki Tsukumo x Reader (hope u dont mind it being F reader lol im convinced yuki is wlw)
Warnings: idk, flirty yuki ig? thats how she normally is anyways :v, (i was working on another yuki x reader cuz i was also gaslighting myself into thinking she isnt dead🥲 so ima mix that one up with this)
"Why did I have such a bright idea to bring you with me?"
You murmured to yourself as Yuki sat next to you with a smirk on her face and her elbow resting on the desk in front of her and her hand resting on her chin. Her finger tapped the edge of her jawline and kept her teasing smirk. "Because you love me."
"No I don't." You quickly responded before rolling your eyes and kept scanning your eyes over the words on the paper in front of you. Yuki lifted a brow and crossed her legs a second later.
"What about me don't you love?"
You let out a long huff before setting your pen down and turned to her. "Things I don't love about you...alright, are you sure you wanna hear it?" You asked. She lifted her brow again and chuckled. "Is there some sort of list?"
"A very long one. Longer than the time you can keep a girlfriend."
"Ouch. Hit me."
You perked up your eyebrows and smiled a little before leaning back in your seat...
"The way you talk, the way you walk, the way you always wink at one of the waitresses after saying 'just your heart, darling.' whenever they ask you what you want-"
"You pay attention to all that?" She cut you off, swaying side to side slightly in the rollie chair. You frowned slightly and gave her a death stare. The smirk never left her face while you huffed and continued on with the list.
".......Wow, for someone who claims to hate me so much, you sure do pay attention to a lot of stuff I do." Yuki commented once you stated you were finished. The entire list took up about 5 minutes and Yuki just stared with heart eyes.
You frowned again with parted lips this time. "Because it annoys me." You retorted before going back to the other paper in front of you.
"Oh, and also I hate your voice. I think you should try shutting up." You added while clicking your pen. She lifted her brow once again.
"...You wanna kiss me so bad, it makes you look stupid." She commented. You narrowed your eyes before turning to her. Her face remained unfazed while you scoffed in realization.
"Did you seriously set that up just so you could get me to admit that I do pay attention to you?" You questioned before she smirked.
Oh shit.
"What the fuck, Yuki?!" You exclaimed as you got up from your chair. All she did was sit back and cross her arms over the arms of the chair and intertwine her fingers together with that same smirk on her face.
"What's the problem?" She asked so calmly, as if you didn't look like you were a ticking cuss bomb waiting to blow the whole workspace up. "The problem, Yuki, is that you tricked me into admitting something I really didn't want to! Now you'll never leave me alone!" You whined before leaning back in your chair. Still, her smirk never wiped itself off her face.
"..My bad." She simply said. You turned to her with the biggest frown Yuki has ever seen in her life, and she chuckled. " 'My bad?' That's all you have to say?!" You grumble out, making her laugh even more.
Her laughter stopped once she dropped her head and looked at you.
"All seriousness," She started, leaning forward. You lifted a brow and crossed your arms.
"I really like you, Y/n. And I'm not just talking about it in a friendly kinda way." She admitted. Your face slightly fell along with your jaw.
"You..like me?"
"Yep."
You shook your head slightly, "So you're telling me, that this whole time you've been annoying me, is because you like me?" You questioned, slightly raising your voice. Yuki nodded confidently before you sighed.
"What am I going to do with you, Yuki Tsukumo?"
---
(me)
AHHHH IM SO SORRY FOR TAKING FOREVER😭
#yuki tsukumo x reader#yuki tsukumo#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#itadori yuuji#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#idk what else to put so ima just stfu
91 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok thoughts on the new episode,
SPOILER WARNING obviously
although honestly I don't think I'll be saying anything that others haven't already said haaaaa
anyway finally, a chance for morty's new VA to shine, and GOD does he. I love the way Evil Morty talks, idk why but that bored "uh huh" when Rick tries shooting him several times is soooo funny to me. he killed it and so did ian cardoni (the way he screams "I'LL KILL YOU" after slow mobius' death OOOOOUUUU CHILLS)
i honestly did not expect to see Evil Morty again, and even though I'm kinda sad he didn't get the lasting peace away from Rick that he wanted, he is a DELIGHT to see in action!! i love his interactions w Rick, it's so interesting having a Morty that's on par/better than Rick. although I'll be honest....he kinda feels like a Rick himself, especially w the cybernetic augmentations he also has--at least to me. Wonder if that's going to be brought up again later down the line, something about becoming the monster you fight against i LOVE how we got to see his backstory finally, like others have said I'm really happy that he was just a "normal" Morty. his Rick wasn't anything special. he literally was just a Morty who finally got sick of Rick's shit. i loved the reveal too, bc they DID have me going for a sec there, I thought who we were seeing was OUR morty Indiana Jones Rick 💘💘💘😳😳😳😳😳💦 that's all I'm saying on that And ok, DO I think Rick Prime is dead? like ACTUALLY dead? Honestly...yes. At least I hope so. I think it'd be FAR more compelling for Rick to be like "...now what?" and for the show to actually explore and unpack that, over it being like HAHA SURPRISE RICK PRIME'S NOT ~REALLY~ DEAD you know?
Because yeah. He got his revenge, the revenge he's literally been chasing...basically his entire life, like...since his, what, 30s? And it didn't feel good. It didn't fix things, it didn't make him feel better. He feels as empty as he did before and NOW he doesn't even have a goal to strive towards anymore. There's nothing. And I feel like the ending of the episode did a REALLY good job of portraying that just numbness. He probably fantasized about this moment the WHOLE time and it absolutely didn't live up to it. It wasn't glorious or feel liberating, he just ends up covered in blood and feeling more hollow and broken than before. That's just...kinda how trauma is Morty at first hesitating to touch Rick but eventually hugging him anyway was so sweet ;_; Anyway as for the cinematography of the episode itself...absolutely stellar. Great fights, the SCOPE of everything, the backgrounds and settings, it's wild how much this show has popped off with its animation (it's honestly so funny seeing them stitch in clips from Season 1 in there bc the CONTRAST in animation quality is astounding. its like when artists on twitter do the "my art from 10 years ago vs now" comparisons LOL. LITERALLY, SEASON 1 WAS 10 YEARS AGO). The just dead silence as Rick punches Rick Prime to death (only sounds of course being rick talking and punching), the whole exchange that happened during it, how just downright BRUTAL it was, that entire scene was crafted so well, and others have pointed out the significance of Rick literally beating Prime to death with his bare fists instead of using his tech or weapons or anything, which i feel like was definitely on purpose, and i love man this post ended up longer than i anticipated I'M SORRY. THIS EPISODE DESTROYED ME EMOTIONALLY AND I LOVE WHEN THIS SHOW DOES THAT ✌✨ MY BRAIN'S BEEN BUZZING. IF YOU READ ALL THIS RAMBLING THANKS I GUESS HLFDKSJFH
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
Take this as constructive criticism or just me sharing my views. ITS NOT AN ATTACK
But I would really won't rely on doctors saying Lyme is just bunch of bs, I don't have it but I have 5 doctors at home and about pain , Man doctors are such sadist according to my sister who is a practicing doctor , she says if a doctor says you will be in mild discomfort it means it will hurt like bitch but if he/she says it won't hurt it means it will hurt but will be tolerable . My personal experience with medical professionals have also not been good I have been gaslighted so many times my symptoms were normal till I ended up in ICU so, no doctors/medical professionals are not always right.
Secondly, Andrew huberman is a piece of shit for what he did but supplements/probiotics do make a difference. Probably some supplements won't do things companies say, as companies often reach with thir claims like saying green tea will help you with weight loss, no for that you will have to drink a lot but saying green tea is not beneficial for health is false. As someone who was on very extended period of antibiotics, probiotics and yogurt has helped me immensely and it's still something that helps me when I have gut issues.
Anyways not an attack , I enjoy reading your work ✌
First of, I agree, doctors are shady as hell and esp as a woman, navigating the medical system and getting someone to take you seriously IS a challenge
I had already explained how Lyme disease is a legitimate illness caused by tick bites and "Chronic Lyme" is a separate "condition" that's unrelated to it.
Lyme disease is not a severe or life threatening condition btw. It's literally a very minor, completely treatable and fully curable condition that will go away with 2 weeks of antibiotics
Manyyy doctors have commented upon Bella's illness and how it makes no sense she has been suffering for 10+ years from ...a tick bite???
Also she has literally posted her medical history and it's all fake 😭😭
So yes, I stand my ground that whatever Bella has, isn't a real condition that can be verified by actual medical professionals :/
Another thing is that Chronic Lyme's symptoms are hella vague and not at all specific to cHroNic lYme, like if all your symptoms can be experienced by an average person, then how tf does one determine who is sick??
It's not like there hasn't been medical research done into this super rare disease and the entire medical community has been unhelpful to Bella. It's that, it's absurd and insane for this condition to persist over a lifetime??? Like that's not how it works???
I completely agree that doctors can be wrong but Chronic Lyme not being a real condition isn't some doctor's personal opinion. It's a medically disproven condition aka SCIENCE has proven that its not legit??
Obviously even science can be wrong sometimes, so maybe in the future we'll know about how Chronic Lyme is a super rare and advanced condition or whatever idk
Now about probiotics, research has shown:
"The majority of studies to date have failed to reveal any benefits in individuals who are already healthy.” The bacteria seem to help only those people suffering from a few specific intestinal disorders. “There is no evidence to suggest that people with normal gastrointestinal tracts can benefit from taking probiotics,” says Matthew Ciorba, a gastroenterologist at Washington University in St. Louis. “If you're not in any distress, I would not recommend them.” Emma Allen-Vercoe, a microbiologist at the University of Guelph in Ontario, agrees. For the most part, she says, “the claims that are made are enormously inflated.” (from an article published by Scientific American)
Even with vitamin supplements, unless somebody has a serious deficiency, I don't see how taking supplements is prioritised over consuming actual vitamin rich food??? It's literally just a capitalist technique to make people buy shit they don't need. Imagine brainwashing people into thinking they should take vitamin c pills instead of yk... eating oranges or whatever???
Probiotics help those who have intestinal issues, which as per your description, I think you do. Majority of people already have gut bacteria and don't need to take probiotic supplements for it??? Or they can consume probiotic enhancing food like yoghurt (which I love 🤤)
I'm not attacking the concept of probiotics, just the way they're marketed and sold to the public to be some miracle cure when it's just as easy and convenient for people to eat food meant to help with healthy gut bacteria instead of yk paying for unnecessary supplements.
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
You want to know what really irks me most of all? Is that no matter what happens with C and S's relationship, those that deny it will still deny it.
If they posted a cute nonchalant photo to Courtney's ig by itself, just the two of them or hidden in a photo dump, it would be deemed inconclusive, you'd hear "friends do that too!"
They went to Europe together! The karaoke stream? Kimmy's wedding? It is the same response as above👇
"friends do that too!"
I would bet my life savings that, if they posted about any milestone, people would deem it as shippers reading into things. I'm not even joking, imagine that they posted hypothetical wedding photos, I can just imagine the replies...
In reality, I'm totally content on not getting any public confirmation anytime soon or at all. If they don't announce anything, people would say there is no definitive proof. Now, compare that to them posting something deliberate, we as a community would be over the moon! But, we would have to deal with some type of criticism regardless, probably blame or coercion🤦♂️
TLDR - I just want them to feel comfortable posting stuff to socials about their relationship. Just like any other normal couple, if they so choose to do so. They are still human beings, for crying out loud!
✌
For what is worth. Some people do experience that close of a friend as well but what they didn't see is obviously the way Shourtney changes over the year that is more obvious than all the picture. But yeah mostly will be the one that deny everything.
I think one day they will get comfortable enough to share with the public. I can see that if they're married everyone would know either way when we see Shayne wear the ring. lmao
8 notes
·
View notes