#and i do about as well as walking with crutches on a wet tile floor with soap

[ferahntics]

I bought a new sketchbook that’s a light pink, shoved a Kirby face sticker on it to make it look like a mouthfull mode, and so far, it’s only got Magolor & Inki, and a page full of unhinged Spectra

[imaginedhaven]

Reluctantly Rooming: Part Five

Link to Masterpost

To all of you who I’ve been tormenting with Rules of Engagement, please accept this as an apology. To those of you who read this but not my other work, enjoy!

I continue to accept prompts for this in my ask box. Today’s prompt:

"This bath is too damn hot." / "This is why we can't do cute things. You complain too much."

~*~*~

The next day, after Sam had assured her that she wouldn’t need to come into work for at least a week, Aelin hobbled up the stairs and into the bathroom with the help of the crutches she had been given. Rowan had watched warily from the bottom of the stairs, but she had stated in no uncertain terms that there were certain things she needed to be able to do for herself and he had let her go.

After going through her care instructions with Rowan, she had learned that she wasn’t supposed to take the boot off for at least the first week at all, which meant it had to be covered while she cleaned herself. That was accomplished easily enough with a trash bag and tape, but she wasn’t about to attempt to balance herself on crutches in a shower when there was a perfectly good bathtub available to her. The other option, simply waiting until she could put more weight on her leg before getting clean, was thoroughly unacceptable to her; she had spent quite long enough smelling like the bar.

The problem, she realized, was getting into the tub. She had managed to fill it easily, and she was still more than capable of undressing herself. But even with the crutches she realized she wouldn’t be able to lift herself over the lip of the tub without risking another fall and further injury. This left her only one option, and she hoped she could make it work because she desperately needed to get clean.

Sitting on the lid of the toilet, she pulled her phone out of the pocket of her discarded pants and began to type.

Rowannnnnn.

As she waited, she saw three dots appear on her screen to indicate he was typing. The indicator disappeared a few seconds later, then reappeared. This pattern occurred twice more before she finally received a reply.

Given that I doubt you would text simply to pester me when I’m still in the house, I’m going to assume you need something.

Aelin scoffed and hurried to reply. Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t pester you at any given time of day.

Either you need something or I’m going to have to assume that you are somehow managing to miss me despite us both existing in the same space.

Despite herself, she laughed at the response. You remember how you told me to let you know if I did need something?

Given that we had this conversation less than five minutes ago, I’d be hard pressed to forget.

Who spells out 5 in a text?

I do. Get to the point.

Well, you see, I’d come up the stairs with the intention of making sure I didn’t smell like the bar for the rest of the week.

Aelin paused after sending that message and bit her lip, wondering how best to phrase the favor she needed to ask of him. As she watched and debated, he started and then thought better of several more responses before finally sending one.

Last I checked, you broke your ankle and not your hand or wrist. You can’t possibly need me to wash your hair for you.

As if you’d do it if I asked. But no.

You need help getting in the bath I heard you run, don’t you?

If I said yes, would you actually help or are you just going to make fun of me?

Another couple of aborted responses from him appeared and then disappeared, and she was about to text him again when he finally replied. You’re really lucky I’m used to you having no concept of boundaries. I’m on my way.

Aelin barely had time to sigh in relief before she heard his quiet footsteps approaching on the stairs. He opened the door with an unimpressed look on his face. “I’d ask if you were decent, but I suspect the answer to that question is almost never ‘yes’,” he said drily.

“Rude,” she replied flippantly. “I’d say enjoy the view while you’re helping, but we both know you’re allergic to fun so I’m sure you won’t.”

“At least I’m somewhat organized,” he retorted. “Whereas you seem to have flung your clothes into every possible corner of the room.”

“Someone ought to see these undergarments. It’s just a pity it’s you, and the context leaves something to be desired.”

His eyebrows lifted. “Do you want my help or not?”

Aelin sighed and relented. “I really do. I hate smelling like the entire contents of the bar.”

Rowan nodded and began unbuttoning his shirt, and she lifted her own eyebrows as she watched, only to see him scowling in reply. “Could you not? I’d rather not get my clothes wet, is all.”

“That’s fine,” she replied innocently. “I’m just surprised that you choose to wear complicated clothes even on your day off.”

“At least one of us should look presentable, don’t you think?”

Before she could think of something sufficiently witty to say in response, he removed his shirt and she was soon openly staring. She had never seen him anything less than fully clothed, not even with his sleeves rolled up, and now she could see why. A full sleeve tattoo of intricately-inked script in language she couldn’t quite decipher covered the entirety of his left arm, from his shoulder down to his wrist, stopping just above where the sleeves of his shirts normally ended. “That’s incredible work,” she breathed.

Rowan only shrugged uncomfortably and lifted her into his arms.

“Seriously,” she continued. “It’s beautiful. What does it say?”

“It tells a story.”

“Will you tell it to me?”

“Not today.”

Before she could say anything else he was lowering her into the water, and she sighed in relief as he hissed. “This bath is too damn hot,” he muttered.

“See, this is why we can’t do cute things,” Aelin retorted. “You complain too much.”

“It can damage your skin,” he pointed out as he carefully positioned her right leg on the lip of the tub.

“I’ve done far worse to my skin, I assure you.”

Rowan rolled his eyes. “Will you need me to get back out, too? Or can I leave now?”

“That depends, if I voluntarily eat one of your salads after this with no complaining about eating rabbit food will you wash my hair?”

“No.”

Aelin sighed. “I need to find a better bribe for you, but you won’t eat sweets so I’m at a loss.”

“Your voluntarily eating a balanced diet will serve as thanks for me working from home this week,” he retorted.

Aelin blinked up at him, surprised. “You’re working from home?”

“You’re clearly incapable of taking care of yourself,” he pointed out, green eyes glimmering with amusement.

Aelin shrieked, feigning outrage, and ran a cupped hand through the bathwater to gather enough to splash him. When she dared to look at his face it was frozen in an expression of shock, water droplets forming at the ends of platinum locks and rolling down his face. She did her best to keep her amusement out of her expression, but it only lasted five seconds before she dissolved into a fit of giggles. “Gods, your face!”

Rowan only stood, motions graceful and fluid and deceptively calm, and walked toward the door. When he deigned to glance over his shoulder at her, his green eyes were glimmering and he was smirking. “I do hope you remember that I know where you sleep.”

As the door quietly closed behind him, Aelin realized she would spend the rest of her bath wondering if she would come to regret her actions or if it had been completely worth it to see such shock on Rowan’s face.

~*~*~

Aelin awoke to a touch on her shoulder and blearily looked in the direction it had come from to meet green eyes filled with concern. “—been an hour, you should really be getting out now,” he was saying.

“Oh. Um. I guess I fell asleep,” she admitted sheepishly.

“That much is obvious. You know if you needed help you could’ve asked, right?”

Aelin nodded. “I do. I don’t remember trying to get out, I think I fell asleep as soon as I finished cleaning up.”

“Well, let’s get you out of here, then,” he replied, hands already reaching out to help.

Between the two of them, they managed to get Aelin out of the water and onto unsteady feet on the tile floor of the bathroom, Rowan’s hands still holding onto her elbows to help her regain her balance. She attempted to take a step toward where she had left her towel and slipped, but before she could do more than gasp in surprise his arms slid around her, pulling her into his chest to keep her upright.

As her skin brushed against his, she couldn’t help but shiver with the realization that she was still completely bare and he had never put his shirt back on. It was just that she hadn’t had anything like this in quite some time, she told herself as the thrill of his touch ran through her. It wasn’t anything to do with Rowan specifically.

Rowan finally realized how close they were and took a step back, reaching behind himself and blindly groping for the towel she’d left on the counter. Finally, he gently shoved it at her and quietly left.

When Aelin saw her reflection in the mirror, her cheeks were still slightly flushed, eyes overly bright as they followed the movement of a droplet of water down her neck and over the curve of one of her breasts. Gods, what a sight she must’ve been. No wonder Rowan had fled.

Quickly, she dried herself off and collected her clothing before hobbling back into her bedroom. She took longer than usual carefully braiding her hair away from her face, telling herself it was to give her roommate a chance to hopefully move past his discomfort and not at all to calm her own nerves.

Hobbling down the stairs with her crutches took far longer than it had to go up the stairs, and Aelin took a moment about halfway through her journey to debate the merits of just sleeping on the couch for at least another week. Just until she could put some more weight on her foot.

While she was still paused halfway down the stairs, she heard and then saw Rowan approach. Before he could get too close, though, or ask her if she needed any help, she glared until he wordlessly raised his hands in surrender and waited at the bottom of the staircase.

Finally, she managed the rest of the stairs, breathing a sigh of relief as Rowan watched her carefully. “I didn’t realize how hard it would be with only one foot,” she admitted.

“I set up a cot for you in the office,” he said quietly. “I thought it might be easier for you if you don’t have to go up the stairs as often. If you tell me what you want I can bring some of your clothes down, too. Or I could just hand them to you as they come out of the laundry you haven’t done,” he grinned.

“Hey, I’ve had a valid reason for being behind,” she muttered.

“For three months?” He ducked into the office with a grin before she could stammer out a reply, emerging with his laptop. “I’ve set a makeshift desk up for myself in the kitchen, so you can have the room to yourself.”

Aelin nodded, but rather than move into the office and inspect her new room she turned toward the kitchen. Before she had gone to take her bath, she had baked a pan of brownies, knowing that she would need the rich chocolate to get through her week with any semblance of happiness. They would be cool enough by now for her to cut one out of the pan, and if Rowan was feeling generous enough to help her set up a makeshift bed then surely he wouldn’t complain about her having just one.

She reached the counter and pulled the pan toward her, already anticipating the taste of chocolate…

Only to find a neat square already cut and removed from the exact middle of the pan.

Gods dammit, she had known she would pay for her antics when she’d splashed Rowan. But this was beyond revenge. No, this was inhuman. He probably hadn’t even eaten it, just thrown it away or relocated it to somewhere else in the kitchen.

Torn between anger and disbelief, she screeched. “Rowan!”

Her cry was only met with the sound of laughter and the sound of feet retreating up the stairs.

~*~*~

Tagging:

@ireallyshouldsleeprn @queen-of-glass @fangirlprincess09 @sassys-world @morganofthewildfire @superspiritfestival @perseusannabeth @sis-it-dont-add-up @jlinez @julemmaes @emilyoftheshadows @thegoddessofyou

[zuluoscarecho]

It’s A Party Ch 5

Part 5/5. Below the cut ‘cause…you know (Part 1 here) (Part 2 here) (Part 3 here) (Part 4 here) Read on AO3

The first request Michael had made after unofficially, officially, moving in had been for a larger dining table than the small 4-seater-at-a-stretch Alex had left over from when Jim Valenti had lived there.

Now they had a large, heavy wooden table big enough to seat their found family and Michael liked to take advantage of it, and having a home, to have people around.

Alex’s long and organised list of to-dos to prepare for their guests was quite different to Michael’s ideas which consisted of getting some meat for the barbecue and hoping Isobel would bring a salad.

“Michael, hurry up, I want to get all this done by 5.”

“Why?” Michael groaned, childishly. “Everyone isn’t coming til 7 anyway, we have plenty of time.”

Alex blushed, ducking his head to check the list he’d written. “Yes, well I thought we could, you know- seeing as how we always sneak off, I thought we’d take a few hours to uh, preemptively…”

Michael frowned at him and Alex wouldn’t meet his gaze and suddenly what he was trying to say was clear.

Michael smirked, swaggering over to where Alex was busying himself pulling plates down from a cupboard. “Are you saying you want to sex me up so I won’t want to climb you like a tree all through dinner?” Michael paused to press hot kisses along Alex’s jaw and down his neck, stopping to suck a hickey where his neck met his shoulder. Alex felt him pull back to admire his handiwork and he kept his eyes closed, head tipped to give Michael the access he’d needed.

“Sorry sweetheart, never gonna happen, I always want you.”

Alex huffed and shrugged him off, though it was like trying to shed a very persistent monkey. “I thought if I could wring enough orgasms out of you, your dick would be too exhausted to cause trouble.”

Michael chuckled, his whole body shaking against Alex. “I’d like to see you try, baby. Do you think 2 hours is gonna be enough?” He smirked at Alex cockily as Alex turned around to glare at him.

“You’re not getting any at all if we don’t finish up.” Alex thrust the plates into Michael’s hands and stalked off to get the cutlery.

Michael laughed all the way to the table where he floated out some placemats and put the plates down on top. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face the next half hour as he helped Alex tick everything off his list.

“Is that it?” Michael asked, gaze turning hungrily to Alex.

Alex was a meticulous planner, he had a diary and a to-do list and organised everything, he’d put some thought into his plans for Michael, and Michael knew it.

Alex nodded and finished putting the last dish away before he led Michael to the bathroom.

“Time to clean up before we get dirty?” Michael wiggled his eyebrows and Alex rolled his eyes.

“You get in, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

The bathroom was small, they’d renovated a few months ago to make it more accessible for Alex than just the grab bars he’d had installed when he’d first moved in.

Now the shower was twice as wide with just a single long pane of glass shielding it from the rest of the bathroom and no door so Alex could walk straight in. A long bench sat along the back and side walls, so Alex could sit underneath the detachable shower head. Two built in shelves, one up high that was crowded and overflowing with Michael’s various hair products and one lower that held a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo for Alex. The floor was a non-slip material like the gravel at the bottom of a swimming pool to provide more traction for Alex and his crutch. It was perfect, Michael had helped design it and it was perfect for Alex. And Michael loved it because there was more than enough room for activities.

Michael preceded him into the shower, setting the water to burning to match his elevated body temperature before Alex inevitably made him turn it down to something more reasonable.

Alex paused in the entrance after taking off his prosthetic, regarding Michael as he stood under the spray facing him, eyes closed and hands pushing back through his wet hair. The steam curled around him and he looked as ethereal as he always did and Alex could never get enough. He couldn’t help but stare.

Michael was all lean lines and hard muscle but some of that skinniness and gauntness had disappeared now that they were living together and Michael had access to Alex’s eccentric and often over-enthusiastic grocery shopping. Somehow, no matter what Alex bought Michael always managed to cobble something together that tasted amazing.

The heat from the spray cascading down on Michael and the steam quickly filling the room was enough to keep Alex warm as he settled on the bench and slid closer to Michael.

Directly in his eye line was Michael’s cock and Alex didn’t try too hard to look away from it. He’d been half-hard for most of the time they’d finished setting up, Alex had noticed him adjusting himself as he’d set the table and brought more wood in for the fire and he wondered just how many orgasms he would be able to wring from his boyfriend. He had a number in mind of course but Michael always seemed to have a way of surprising him.

Michael opened one eye to glance down at Alex regarding him. “You’re at a rather convenient height there,” he remarked with a leer.

Alex let a smirk slide onto his own lips. “I’d noticed.”

Michael licked his lips and cocked his head to the side. “Gonna do anything about it, Private?”

Alex reached for Michael’s hips, tugging him to stand directly in front of him and Michael went willingly. The majority of the spray hit Michael’s far shoulder so Alex was protected from it as he pressed his lips to Michael’s stomach. At the first brush of Alex’s tongue on his wet-warm skin Michael shuddered, full body, and slid his fingers into Alex’s hair.

Alex traced the line of his abs with his tongue, down through the trail of hair as he made his way down to his cock.

He ran his hands up and down Michael’s thighs, digging his fingers into his ass before he sucked the head of his cock into his mouth.

Michael’s hips jumped in his grasp and he cried out at the sudden sensation. Without giving Michael a moment to adjust to the stimulation Alex moved all the way down until Michael’s cock brushed the back of his throat. He’d done this enough times to know he could relax his throat and let Michael fuck into his mouth but Michael liked his blowjobs shallow and sloppy and with lots of tongue.

“Fuck, Alex, god your mouth is…”

The sounds escaping Michael egged Alex on, the groans and whimpers and gasps as well as the fingers in Alex’s hair, tugging gently. Michael had already said he was glad Alex had grown out his hair for exactly this reason and Alex wouldn’t tell him so but he was glad too, that his hair was long enough for Michael’s long fingers to hold onto.

Alex let his tongue trace the veins on the underside of Michael’s cock, teased at the head with the flat of his tongue before sucking him back down again. He could feel saliva escaping from the corners of his mouth and sliding down his chin to meld with the hot spray of the shower that misted around Michael’s broad shoulders.

Alex sucked hard, sliding slowly down and back up and Michael’s fingers gripped tighter at Alex’s hair as if to pull him off.

“Alex, Alex, I’m gonna…”

Alex let out a moan, deep in his throat, the vibrations sizzling up Michael’s cock and he came hard. His fingers slipped out of Alex’s hair and he braced himself on the wall behind Alex, legs trembling as he came down from the high.

Alex pulled off slowly and leant back against the wall, smug and satisfied. He wiped at the corner of his mouth and swallowed, looking up at Michael who was still shaky, leaning against the wall above him.

“Jesus Alex, you weren’t kidding, that was like record time.”

Alex grinned up at him, unable to lose the smugness at Michael’s blissed out expression. “Well we’ve got a lot to get through, that’s just the beginning.”

Michael leant down to kiss him thoroughly, putting a hand against the back of Alex’s head to protect him from the hard tile.

Alex pulled away, holding Michael back with a hand against his chest. “Get out of here so I can finish up. I’ll meet you in the bedroom.”

Michael pouted, bottom lip sticking out and calling Alex to it. He pulled him down to kiss him and sucked that bottom lip into his mouth before releasing it.

Michael looked down at where Alex was half hard. “What about you? I could blow you right now, an eye for an eye.”

“This is about you, remember?” Alex reminded him, “I’m perfectly capable of controlling myself.”

Michael grinned at him, soft and sexy. “Cmon Alex, you know that’s not true. This is just as much about me as it is about you.”

“Don’t worry, I fully intend to get what I need from you before this is over.”

Michael shivered at the intent in his voice. It spoke of what was to come.

Michael walked out of the shower and dried off cursorily before padding naked to the bedroom. He stopped at the door to call over his shoulder to Alex, “Don’t keep me waiting too long or I’ll start without you.”

Alex scoffed, raising his voice to be heard over the shower, “You wouldn’t dare.”

A few minutes later when Alex was clean and dry he came into the bedroom to see Michael sprawled out on the bed, face down, face pressed into Alex’s pillow.

Alex sat beside him and ran one hand up his calf and thigh to the curve of his ass and back down again marvelling at the feel of his skin. Michael was soft and so warm, always so warm, but especially so after a shower. And he was especially pliant after an orgasm. He turned, slow and languid to look at Alex with a challenge in his raised eyebrow.

“So that was one, how many do you think we can get in?”

“I’ve got a number in mind,” Alex said sagely as he watched Michael arch off the bed, seemingly just a stretch but Alex knew better as his eyes were drawn to the lean muscles of his torso, the V of his hips leading down to the dark hair and his cock resting softly between his legs.

Alex knelt on the bed and crawled to rest his body over Michael’s.

“We’ll see if you can make it.” He captured Michael’s lips in a fierce kiss, exploring and seeking with his tongue. He pressed Michael down onto the bed and felt him settle into the pressure pinning him down.

Alex pulled off Michael’s mouth to press open mouthed kisses down his neck.

Michael moaned as Alex’s tongue teased across his skin, pressed into the dip of his collarbones and down his chest.

Michael’s hips bucked up into Alex and Alex could feel that his dick was already half hard again.

Michael grabbed a handful of Alex’s ass, pulling their groins together hard.

“Cmon Alex,” Michael whined, eyes squeezed shut, “I want you inside me.”

Alex ignored his request, he had plans after all.

He moved down Michael’s body to kneel between his legs. He pressed his lips against his hip bone, sucking a mark into the skin there that darkened and blossomed into a bruise that matched the one on his own neck. Alex pressed a kiss to the mark he’d made and gripped Michael’s hips tightly before he ducked his head down to get his mouth on him again.

“Should I get you off one more time, just like this first, hm?” Alex murmured, teasing at the head with his tongue between words. He glanced up, eyes intent on Michael’s face as he twisted and writhed, unable to decide if he wanted to buck into Alex’s grip or pull away from the stimulation.

Alex took his mouth away and squeezed some lube onto his fingers, reaching down to tease at Michael’s hole.

“Or would you prefer it like this?” He brushed the pads of his fingers around Michael’s rim, sliding easily and lightly over the lubed skin. “I can stretch you open, on two, three, four fingers until you come for me just like that. And then I’ll fuck you.”

“Fuck me, Alex, please.”

Alex slowly pressed a finger inside, watching as Michael’s hole slowly opened up for him. It didn’t take long for him to add a second, and then a third and Michael was making beautiful sounds as he twitched and trembled. Alex pressed his other hand against the inside of Michael’s left thigh to press him wide.

Alex knew he could take his time, teasing and pushing, stopping and staring until Michael couldn’t tell which way was up, didn’t know anything except Alex and the exquisite pleasure he brought. But today was about quantity, not necessarily, quality.

Alex removed his fingers and pressed Michael’s knees up against his chest and Michael put his hands under his knees, leaving himself open and exposed for Alex.

He couldn’t take his eyes off Michael as he poured a generous amount of lube onto his cock and slowly slid in, sinking into Michael’s heat with a groan.

“God Michael, you always feel so good, so hot and tight around me, I love you, do you know that?”

He still struggled saying the words out loud but he did it every chance he got because it was worth it for the look of slight disbelief and total hope and happiness on Michael’s face.

And the sounds it pulled from Michael were worth the brief mental anguish of forcing the words out of his mouth instead of leaving them stuck in his throat.

Alex pressed his palms down on either side of Michael’s ribs and focused on rocking into him. Each slide pushed Alex close and closer to the edge and he tried to hold back, wanting to bring Michael off first, to see the look on his face, feel him coming around him.

Michael moaned, thrusting his hips up to match Alex’s rhythm.

Alex reached between them to take a hold of Michael’s weeping cock, stripping it efficiently until he came for a second time. Alex moaned as he spilled inside Michael, pressing his head into his shoulder as he shuddered through a blinding orgasm.

Alex slowly pulled out, dribbles of his come expelled with his cock and he reached down stuffing the come and two fingers back inside. Michael whined, twisting away at the overstimulation of his hole but Alex’s hand on his hip kept him steady.

“I love you like this,” Alex murmured, trying to keep his fingers still from twitching in Michael’s fluttering hole. He could feel the squelch of come and lube and the small tremors wracking Michael’s body at the over stimulation. He left his fingers there for a few minutes, softly stroking the fingers of his other hand through Michael’s hair while he waited for Michael’s racing heartbeat to calm.

He still trembled, hole clenching sporadically around Alex’s fingers but Michael’s heart rate had calmed when he opened glazed eyes to look at Alex.

“You weren’t fucking kidding,” Michael mumbled. He ran a hand through his hair and the motion pushed against where Alex’s fingers were inside him. Alex did nothing to hide the smug smile at Michael’s blissed out state as he moved up the bed to lie beside him, keeping his fingers pressed inside.

“Michael,” he murmured, lips buried in the curls behind his ear. He pressed a kiss there, and ran his tongue down across Michael’s pulse. “You know that purple plug we have in the bottom draw?” Michael whined, his hole twitching around Alex’s fingers at the thought but he nodded against Alex. “Can you get it for me, please?”

Michael let out a low sound and moved to pull away from him but Alex’s other hand on his hip held him still. “Uh-uh.” Alex slowly moved his fingers, pressing to curl against Michael’s prostate in teasing punishment that made Michael shudder and moan and press back against him. “I was thinking with this.” He tapped gently at Michael’s temple and Michael groaned.

“Alex…” He screwed his eyes shut in concentration and a few seconds later they both heard the draw scrape open.

Alex moved his fingers again, pressing them in quickly and stretching them on the slow way out. Michael shuddered against him and Alex smirked as he heard something thump down.

“Alex, I can’t concentrate when you…when you…” Michael trailed off, words escaping his control just as his powers had and he turned his head into Alex’s neck, panting against the skin there.

Alex pressed a smirk into Michael’s skin. “Think of it as practice baby, if you can do it now you can do it any time.”

Michael whined again, brow furrowing as he focused. A second later Alex saw the purple butt plug floating through the air towards him and smiled in triumph. “That’s it, Michael, you’re so good for me.”

Michael moaned at the praise, body taut with tension as he held himself between the pleasure and pain.

Alex reached for the lube they’d discarded earlier. He slowly slid his fingers out and moved, urging Michael onto his knees, his chest and face mashed into the mattress, ass in the air and at the perfect height.

Alex covered the plug in lube and gently pressed it against Michael’s hole. The tip slid in easily and Alex paused, sliding a soothing hand down Michael’s side.

He was breathing hard, deep stuttering breaths escaping his chest and his legs were trembling where they were spread wide.

“Take a deep breath for me baby,” Alex murmured and Michael did so, holding it for a moment. Alex pushed the plug inside on Michael’s exhale and his breath came out like a high pitched whine, hips thrusting into nothing as he trembled at the feeling of being full again so soon after Alex had been inside him.

“A-lex, Alex, Alex.” Everything about Michael trembled, his eyelids fluttered, sliding closed at the overwhelming feeling of arousal, his voice skittered across syllables, when he managed to make any sounds at all.

“I wish I could send you out like this,” Alex said, eyes focused back on where Michael was stretched around the bright purple plug. “Stretched open and full of my come, sitting at dinner with the others. I’d love to see you squirm and know exactly why.” He ran one finger around the stretched rim and Michael’s cock twitched where it was hanging soft between his legs.

Alex gently pressed against the base of the plug and Michael, writhed forward, hips bucking.

“We should definitely try that one day,” he panted.

“I’ll keep it in mind.” Alex had a mental list (and a literal one, hidden away in an encrypted and secret file on his laptop) of all the sexual or kinky things Michael had mentioned, even in passing, and all the hard no’s he’d ever implied existed.

Alex felt himself start to harden again at the sight of the bright purple plug in Michael’s ass and he took his cock in hand, stroking it to hardness as he left Michael untouched in the centre of the bed. He knew Michael could hear him, the sound of him stroking his own cock as he took in the beauty that was Michael, naked and needy. He looked so beautiful like this, all soft golden skin, sweat sheened and trembling, so ready for Alex to take.

But Alex was going to make him wait, just a little while longer.

“Now you’ve had two orgasms and I’ve only had one, I hardly think that’s fair,” Alex mused. He brushed his fingers through Michael’s hair and down his spine, stopping just short of the purple plug in his ass.

He leant down to brush his lips over Michael’s ear. “I want you on your knees on the floor.”

Michael swallowed, unable to even make a sound before he flopped to the edge of the bed, spent but stubbornly eager and wholly unable to resist Alex. He knelt between Alex’s legs, waiting patiently.

“Let’s see if this will get you hard again, I know how much you love my cock in your mouth.”

Michael nodded, edging forward to get closer. He looked up at Alex through his eyelashes, waiting for his permission and Alex felt like his heart would burst with the love he had for this man. He was so beautiful and so good.

Alex grasped the back of Michael’s head in one hand and took his cock in the other, positioning the tip against Michael’s slightly parted lips. Michael licked his lips, tongue flicking out and tasting the sweat and come.

He moved his hand to palm Michael’s cheek, brushing his thumb against the corner of Michael’s mouth.

“Open up for me sweetheart.”

Michael opened his mouth for Alex to feed him his cock and it slid down, down, down until Alex could feel the tip brush the back of Michael’s throat when he swallowed. Alex let it sit there for a moment, revelling in the heat and wet of Michael’s mouth, the feel of his throat when he swallowed, the puffs of breath as Michael breathed heavily through his nose.

Michael’s mouth was stretched obscenely around his cock, the whole thing stuffed into his mouth and down his throat and Alex wondered if he wrapped his hand around Michael’s throat if he’d be able to feel it there, from the outside.

Alex tugged lightly on Michael’s hair and he slid his mouth off, wet and slow and hot before he took him back in down to the hilt, eyes watering but keeping eye contact and Alex groaned.

Michael moaned around the dick in his mouth and Alex could see his ass flexing as he tightened around the purple plug but he knew it wouldn’t be enough to get Michael off, especially not after 2 orgasms already.

“You love this don’t you? My cock in your mouth?”

Michael tried to nod and the motion rubbed the head of Alex’s cock against the roof of Michael’s mouth and made them both moan.

“I’m going to come and you’re going to take it all, aren’t you?” Alex reached down to cup Michael’s cheek, brushing his hair off his face so he could see clearly. “You’re always so good for me, Michael.”

Michael nodded again, sucking hard and that was all it took, Alex came with a cry, straight down Michael’s throat and he pulled Michael off with a groan, holding him by the curls as he chased after Alex’s dick to get every last drop.

“You were so good, you’re always so good,” Alex said, breathless and loose limbed, thumbing along Michael’s cheek in a soft caress.

Michael looked up at him from his position on his knees and he couldn’t help but squirm, the plug shifting inside him with every move of his hips. His cock was hard, like Alex had known it would be and he couldn’t help the smug grin that made its way, exhaustedly, onto his face.

Alex pulled Michael up and onto the bed, spooning up behind him and brushed the curls out of his way with his nose so he could see over Michael’s shoulder.

“Another, hm?” Alex murmured softly, pressing kisses against Michael’s neck and sliding a hand around his waist.

Michael squirmed away at the threat of Alex touching his spent cock, sensitive and a little bit painful after 2 orgasms already.

Alex nuzzled up behind Michael’s ear. “You can do it for me, right baby?”

Michael groaned, his cock twitching feebly at Alex’s tone. That cajoling and hoarse murmur from Alex was like a pavlovian response for Michael.

Alex reached for the lube they’d abandoned on the bed earlier and squeezed a little more into his hand.

He reached around to cup Michael’s soft cock in one slick hand. Michael whined but as long as Alex didn’t move, just held him, he could handle it. Michael shook in his grasp, full body shivers and he sounded like he couldn’t catch his breath and Alex could see his pulse thundering in his throat and he put his lips there to feel it. He let his tongue brush across the skin, tasting sweat and the musky scent of Michael invading his nose.

Alex started to suck at the pulse thudding under his lips, laving at the skin as he worked to leave yet another mark on Michael’s skin. He bit down, hard, and Michael cried out, hips jerking into Alex’s hand.

Slowly, Alex started teasing his fingers along the length of Michael’s cock, barely there brushes of contact and light scratches with his fingernails, his cock twitching at the stimulation.

“That’s it baby,” Alex said, gently squeezing Michael’s cock that was slowly hardening in his grasp. Alex ran loose fingers up and down Michael’s length in a slow rhythm that edged at teasing.

Michael sobbed out a breath and Alex pressed his lips to the tears escaping Michael’s eyes. His eyes were screwed shut, pleasure and over stimulation at war across his features as his hips jerked slightly into Alex’s hand.

Alex kept up the litany of praise and soft words as he stroked Michael’s cock, easing him through the last orgasm until he was trembling and whimpering on the bed beside Alex. He slid a palm slowly down Michael’s back to gently remove the plug from him and Michael let out a whimper as Alex pulled it out of him.

Alex watched in satisfaction as Michael’s hole twitched at the loss, puffy and red and used.

He moved up the bed to pull Michael against him as he settled.

“Love you,” Michael murmured, pressing his lips against Alex’s shoulder without even opening his eyes.

“I love you too. You did so good, baby.”

Alex let him drift off in his arms pressing a soft kiss to his sweaty temple before he slowly slid out of the bed. He set an alarm to wake Michael in 20 minutes so he’d have time enough to shower before their guests arrived.

“You’re awfully…cheery,” Kyle commented with a frown. He swung around to look at Alex who studiously wouldn’t meet his gaze, focusing on straightening the already straight placemats on the table.

Kyle’s frown deepened, cataloguing the blissful happiness clear in every line of Michael’s body, the tired looseness of his frame as he gazed at Alex dopely. Kyle watched as Alex reached up to tug at his shirt collar, inadvertently revealing a very fresh looking hickey. Suddenly everything clicked into place.

“Oh my god! You guys just had sex, I can’t believe you! Were you even dressed when I knocked? Is that why it took you so long?” he demanded, frown turning to a look of disgust.

“I was dressed,” Alex said sounding offended.

“Mostly,” Michael added with a pleased smirk.

Alex turned to glare at him.

“It better not have been in here or the kitchen, we eat in there!” Kyle complained, heading for where Alex kept the scotch to pour himself a drink and try and rid himself of the image of Michael and Alex having sex on every available surface.

Michael’s smirk grew. “It wasn’t today anyway,” he murmured only loud enough for Alex to hear.

[insfiringyou]

First time having sex with J-Hope

Contains: Fluff. Smut. Fingering. Vaginal sex.

AN: Although this can be read on its own, we imagine the girl here is his OTP, Nana, who features in our headcanon masterlist. You can find out more about our headcanon universe here

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin  /   Suga  /   J-Hope   /   Jimin   /   V   /   Jungkook & Our full masterlist can be found here

I was very excited to finally write this as Hoseok is my bias! Please enjoy. Very fluffy and smutty! ~Admin N

Rated written content below cut

Hoseok jolted suddenly as his phone slipped from his loose grasp and landed face down onto the gravel. He sighed in relief as he ran his thumb over the glossy screen. Luckily, nothing had broken. He had been distracted, as he sat on the bench, by the same young woman who had been circling the park for the past 30 minutes. She had first caught his attention because of how she dressed. Her tank top and matching skirt were impossibly white, a small crocheted bag hanging from her shoulder, the neon yellow of her beaded necklace matching her sandals. The day was overcast and gloomy, the earth a little soft from the drizzle that so often accompanied spring. It was not a warm day by any means, even though the sun was beginning to break from behind the clouds.

Secondly, her behaviour was very odd. She would circle any tree that she passed and stare for minutes into the beds of flowers, gently pulling aside leaves and patting the wet soil before moving to another. Hoseok was eyeing her, curiously, until suddenly she turned on the spot and met his eyes from across the path.  His heart pounded inexplicably as she strode over with purpose, her thin brows slightly raised. He parted his lips slightly to greet her, but stopped himself, as she brushed past the bench and began to peer in the thick shrubs beside him.  He couldn't help but watch, open-mouthed as she stepped into the mud, the loose weave of her bag catching in the twigs as she examined the leaves with extraordinary care.

"Excuse me..." Hoseok said, softly. "Is everything alright?"

She glanced at him, slightly taken aback as though she had not realised he had been sitting right beside her. Her face was heart shaped, her large brown eyes seeming too big for it  and surrounded by a fan of long lashes. There was a rosy tint to her cheeks, but otherwise her skin was pale, smooth and bare. Hoseok couldn't help but notice that she was incredibly pretty, despite her hair looking a little wild as it blew in the breeze.

"I'm looking for my other earring, " the woman replied, her fingers toying unconsciously with the brightly coloured, dangling hoops hanging from her earlobe. "I was walking my dog here earlier and I stopped to take off my jumper...I guess it came off then..."

She sounded a little scattered, as though more to herself than the man speaking to her. Stepping a little further into the shrub, she reached in and retrieved something between her fingertips. But she sighed as she withdrew a candy wrapper, muttering to herself.

"I hate that..." Hoseok heard her say under her breath, as she reached over to put it in the bin beside the bench. Before he could ask her where she thought she'd lost it, she lost her balance and fell unflatteringly onto the wet dirt. He sprang to his feet, eyebrows lost in his fringe as he rushed to her side and pulled her up by the elbow.  One sandal was missing, her bare foot covered in muck as she righted herself.

Hoseok guided her, hopping, onto the path. "Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself? Ah, look...your clothes..."

"No...I'm fine." She shook her head, checking herself over where he had indicated. The once white outfit was filthy.  She had placed one hand flat against the ground as she fell, and dirt was under her fingernails . A little confused, she looked around and grabbed for the sandal. "I slipped..."

She slid the shoe back on her muddied foot, and wiped her hand unceremoniously on her skirt. Noticing that she no longer had her bag, he unhooked it from the spiky branches carefully as not to snag the yarn .

"Do you want to keep looking? I can help." Hoseok offered, resting the bag back on her bare shoulder. He thought she looked more disappointed than embarrassed, her coral-pink lips slightly turned down at the corners.

"No thanks... I don't think it's here anyway," She sighed. They rattled cheaply as she brushed them with her fingers. She took out the remaining one and tucked it into her bag. "I should probably go clean up...too bad... I really liked those earrings. They were my favourite."

"Do you have far to walk?"

"To the library." She said, simply. "My apartment is opposite."

Hoseok frowned. "The library in town? That's kind of far."

The woman nodded, brushing her dirt-free fingers through her hair in an attempt to tame her wild curls. "There are no good parks near there...they're always so noisy. But I like this one a lot."

The offer was out of his lips before he could really consider how forward it would sound. "I live across the street. You can come up and clean yourself up a bit first, if you like?"

He blushed as she met his gaze, questioningly. After all, she didn't know this man, but she had no reason to distrust him. "Is that...really okay?"

Hoseok nodded, and to his relief, she didn't look alarmed by his proposal. He couldn't help but smile brightly at her, and she returned it with one that was slightly crooked. Following his lead, she dawdled slightly behind as they headed towards the street.

"Do you walk your dog here a lot?"

"Well...he's not really mine. Seulgi belongs to my neighbour. She broke her ankle, so she can't really do it herself with the crutches. But the cast is coming off in a few days. " Her voice was light and airy, almost musical in the way she spoke, and Hoseok inclined his head to listen better to the pleasant tone of it.

"You changed your hair colour," she continued, her eyes lingering on his black bangs.  She knew she recognised him, but it was only then that she had realised she'd seen him in the exact same spot, eating a banana just a few days before. The sudden change of conversation made him glance back at her, slightly bewildered, as he pushed the button for the crosswalk. "I saw you here last week. I remembered you because you had red hair. But you changed it."

"Yeah...it's more boring now, right?" He chuckled,  taking long strides forward as the crossing light turned green.

"I like it." She said, at once. " It makes your skin look glowy. Like you've just been on holiday or something."

Hoseok felt a warmth creep up his cheeks as he felt her eyes on him, a toothy grin breaking out on his face.

"I just got back from Europe," He said. " It was a little warmer...but just a little."

They were heading towards a shadowed a trio of immense glass buildings, easily the tallest of those around. She hurried a little behind him to catch up with his long strides. They had been clearly visible from the park, reflecting the breaking sunshine from the window panes. "What were you doing in Euro- oh."  She paused, staring skywards at the edifice as the man turned left into the first of the three buildings. " Is this where you live?"

The man nodded, looking a little sheepish. "I moved in a few months ago... but I'm not fully unpacked yet. " He punched in the key code to the building and led her through to the lobby, equally as impressive looking of marble floor and tall ceilings. Her sunshine yellow flip-flops slapped noisily against the white tile. She realised what a disaster she must look as a woman, pristinely dressed, passed by them with an obvious, lingering glare at the grass and mud stains on her clothes.

She was staring down at her feet, her green nail varnish now dull and brown, when Hoseok reached for her swinging hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Don't worry about it." He whispered, under his breath, dimples forming on his cheeks as he smiled warmly at her. The gesture was simple, fleeting, her stomach flipping his fingers trailed away from her wrist. They took the elevator in relative silence, the curtain of curls disguising her private smile .

"Sorry, it's a little messy... " he said apologetically, beginning to step towards the staircase, away from the chaos of the living room. She shuffled out of her shoes and placed the bag beside his on the doormat, casting her eyes curiously around the open space. There was a half built entertainment unit in the middle of the room, screws and tools scattered everywhere, and several large boxes which she guessed contained more flat pack furniture. There were two half-filled glasses of orange juice by the couch.

"My friend was helping me put it all together, but he had to leave, so I gave up. I'm not great at that sort of thing." He rambled,  pausing as they reached a door at the top of the hall, slightly ajar. He peered in first, before pushing it open and lingering by the entrance as she slipped inside.

"Oh, it's so nice..."

"I'll leave you alone now, okay? I'll be down the hall." Hoseok smiled. She thanked him, and he pulled the door gently closed with a soft click.  Now alone, it occurred to her that she didn't even know the stranger's name, wishing she'd thought to ask him whilst they had been walking. He must have wealthy parents, she thought, to have such a spacious bathroom in Seoul. Her own was cramped, cluttered with products and odd towels that had followed her from apartment to apartment. Yet he seemed perfectly nice, kind, and she decided that nothing else mattered except for that. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she plucked a few small leaves embedded in her curls, trying to brush out the dirt that had managed to cling to the ends. She ran the tap and rinsed her hands underneath the warm stream and began to undress down to her pale pink briefs. Slim and shapeless, her breasts were too small to really bother with a bra. The tiny swell of them felt the chill of the airy space, her nipples hardening as she rinsed her camisole under the water. It ran brown as the mud washed away, and she lathered soap and worked at the stain until the fabric was completely sodden. Her skirt was even worse, and she ended up submerging it completely in a pool of warm suds before wringing them both out and draping them over the bare towel rack to dry. Atleast it was a little better, she thought, sliding down her underwear  and stepping into the shower cubicle. It took her a little while to figure out how to achieve the right pressure and temperature, the water pounding hard against the frosted glass as she fiddled with the chrome dials. Already drenched, she began to wash her hair, squeezing a little shampoo from a bottle on the rack. The scent of tea-tree was fresh and exhilarating, tingling as she massaged it into her scalp. Her mind wandered a little as she washed, her skin prickling pleasantly.

-

"They delivered the wrong speaker." A low purr rumbled against Hoseok's ear. "I had to send it back, so I guess I have free time after all. I'll be there in half an hour."

"Ahh,  now's not a good time," Hoseok said cautiously, eyes flickering to the door of his studio, which he'd left ajar. The hall was empty and silent, except for the faint sound of running water. "Something came up."

"What?" Yoongi inquired.

"Uhm, I have a guest...sort of."

"Ah, Hoseok..." He drew in air audibly between his teeth, but his voice was soft and playful, knowing that he wouldn't have to probe much for details. "Who is she?"

"I don't know her name..." The younger man said, quickly, his chair groaning as he leaned back. "But, it's not like that. She's just using the bathroom and I don't know how long-"

"Just let me know when you're done. I found the alan keys."  The call ended abruptly, and Hoseok slid back the phone into his pocket with a sigh. He ran his hand through his hair, staring blankly at his laptop screen, unable to concentrate on the document in front of him. A tentative knock on the door made him jolt from his seat, and guiltily he looked up to see her stood in the doorway.

His lips parted immediately, a slight gasp slipping from his lips. She peered around the door, thick hair heavy as droplets of water trickled down the pit of  her neck and between the crevice of her small breasts. The white camisole was damp, creased, clinging to every inch of her slim figure. He couldn't help but notice the little indent of her belly button and the two, hard protrusions of her mocha-coloured nipples, her areolas clearly visible beneath the white cotton. He swallowed hard, feeling his breath stutter as he met her large eyes.

"Sorry to bother you... I just wondered if you had a towel...I couldn't find one." She muttered, thinking she had disturbed something. He closed his lips, realising he had been staring.

"Uum, yes, I keep them in the closet...sorry, I guess I forgot to mention that."  Laughing nervously, he turned away a little and stood, his legs feeling odly numb. She had caught his gaze flicker down her body, and she realised in the artificial light how little her clothes had dried in the hot steam of the bathroom. A bright red flush crept up her cheeks. Suddenly, the air seemed too thick to breathe, heavy with silence. There was a crackle of electricity as he brushed past her and stepped out of the room. She pinched her shirt, trying to readjust how it stuck to her skin, but without much effect. He returned moments later holding a fluffy lime- green towel, his face equally crimson.

Their eyes met as she glanced up from his slender hands, and her stomach turned once again at the desire burning in his expression. She took it from him with a breathless thank you, the heat of his body radiating through the wet camisole as they inched closer together.

Frantically, their lips clashed together in a whine of pleasure, the towel dropping to their feet. They broke apart to take sharp breaths before they collided together again excitedly. Droplets of water continued to roll down her forehead and tip of her nose, intermingling in their kiss. The taste of him was intoxicating, making her ache as she matched his feverish pace, his hands busily roaming from her hips to her lower back. His pressure would have been firm where he to keep still for even a second. Yet there was a desperate edge to his embrace, one which deepened the pull in her navel, her libido craving more. She ran her fingertips through his hair, tugging it slightly as she intensified the flavour of the kiss.

"You're so sexy..." He panted, against her lips. She felt his teeth as he smiled against her, and he pushed back keenly.

Flushing in pleasure at his words, her heart skipped. She wanted to repeat the words back to him, but her mind was feeling very hot and fuzzy, and when she spoke again it was with an aching, wistful sort of sigh.

"Touch me..."

Hoseok's fingertips broke the barrier of her shirt and ran flat up her stomach. Her skin was burning, a little clammy from the shower, but beautifully smooth. His breath stuttered in his throat as he palmed her breasts. Though the flesh there very little, her nipples were hard, puckered, and felt incredible between his long digits. Too soon, they slipped away, and he began to peel the fabric over her head. The air was cool as it fully hit her skin, but warmed once more by his hands as they continued to clamber over every inch of her figure. He captured her lips once again, her clitoris pounding so hard that she thought she might lose her balance.

Instinctively, Hoseok sensed her discomfort and lifted her skirt, running his hand up her inner thigh and brushing the warm material of her panties. She groaned at the feel of his fingers against her, pushing the fabric against her centre before angling further up. Head thrown back,  he peppered her exposed throat with toothy kisses, circling the tiny bump with two fingers. Sighing in relief, she held herself steady by wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"That feels so good..." she moaned softly, though she knew he had heard her because she felt him grin against the space between her collar bones. They moved quickly down to take one of her nipples in his mouth and he flicked his tongue quickly over it, making her feel incredibly sensitive. She arched back, lips slack, sending a few droplets cascading down her back  as her clit ached between his fingertips. It was almost painful; sending shivers up her spine as she gripped his back more tightly.

"I want you," she whined. "Please."

Hoseok didn't need to be asked twice. His arousal was already straining against his jeans, and she gasped in surprise as she felt his erection push against her stomach through the denim. He released her nipple, his hand moving away from her panties and to clutching at her hips. Their lips crashed, and he guided her roughly to the tiny, two seater sofa that was usually occupied by Yoongi. Her skirt bunched up around her midriff as she sank back against into the cushions, his long legs awkwardly positioned half on the carpet as he rested his weight on her. Heart thumping, she tugged desperately at the waistband of his jeans, realising to her dismay that he was wearing a belt. Feeling her struggle a little with the buckle, he closed his fingertips around hers as he kissed her cheeks, and freed himself. She helped pull the band of his boxers over the head of his cock, pre-cum spreading across her palm as she jerked them down just enough to expose his shaft. He was rock hard, and she could feel the pressure of it against her, frustrated by the barrier of her underwear. Together, they dragged them down her thigh and he pushed into her slick folds. They both cried out at the sensation of it, an odd sense of relief and mingled excitement.

"You're so tight...feels...amazing..." Hoseok whined, his voice strangled, edged with pleasure. She felt so full, his cock fitting her curves perfectly. He was impossibly close, tangled completely around her. Aching to touch him, she skimmed her hands up his shirt, finding a comfortable grip on his shoulders. Her heart fluttered as she watched his face change, her breath hitching as he thrust sharply into her. Her damp curls would surely be a frizzy mess as her head bumped against the cushions over and over. But she couldn't care less. Holding him tightly, she inclined her hips to meet him in each movement, the angle earning each a loud moan of satisfaction. His rhythm was delightfully consistent, never losing its pace, but building in intensity. The sound of their high, breathy cries echoed around the barely furnished room; hers a little louder, as a warm tingle spread from her clit and resonated in a spot deep inside of her.

Her orgasm took her by surprise; the shockwaves of it catching her breath in her throat, and causing her to dig her nails hard into his shoulders. Hoseok felt every pulse of it around him, squeezing him, pulling him tightly.

"Ah...fuck..." He whined, drawing his lip between his teeth at the sensitivity. His hips automatically began to slow at the feel of her throb around him.

"Don't stop..." She managed in a desperate whisper. "S-so good..."

He pushed her thigh against her stomach, changing his position so that he was more upright, enabling himself to push back into her with more ease. His legs had begun to ache as he found his footing against the laminate. Able to see her face clearly now, he watched her expression change as her long eyelashes fluttered open, eyes sparkling back up at him. Lips parted, she inhaled sharply as he moved, clearly enjoying the sensation of him. It was beyond sexy to watch her lick her lips every now and again, dry from her moans, biting them as he buried himself deeper inside.

"I'm close..." Hoseok panted, cheeks reddening as his release grew quickly. He knew that he had to act fast, a panicked edge to his voice. "What should I do?"

"I don't mind..." She replied, almost dreamily, her face a picture of bliss.

Making his mind in that instant, and just in time, he grasped his cock by the base and pulled out of her, his seed spilling over her bunched skirt and pubic hair in a loud sigh of pleasure. It seemed to go on forever as he stroked himself until he felt too sensitive to touch. It took a minute for his orgasm to ebb away, his body overcome with a warm shiver that left his complexion rosy and glistening with perspiration. She thought he looked beautiful.

"I'm sorry, I messed up your skirt..." He breathed, his hand running down her thigh and to his fading erection. She caught a glimpse of black pubic hair disappearing over the band of his blue boxers.

"It was already ruined, " she said. " I couldn't get the stains out anyway."

Hoseok chuckled softly, though she looked slightly bewildered.

" I'm a teacher. I don't even know your name..."

"You're a teacher? That's really amazing. " Hoseok said brightly, eyebrows raised. His cheeks were glowy as he smiled, seeming genuinely impressed.

She flushed, hoping that he would not get the wrong impression of her. " I  don't usually do this... "

" Me neither." He agreed, and she knew he was telling the truth.

"My name is Nana. "

"I'm Hoseok. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that before we-  " A nervous laugh escaped his lips, dimples forming on his cheeks. "Really, I didn't expect to....was it really okay that I..."

She murmured in agreement, smiling kindly at him. "Don't worry.. I'm on the pill."

He sighed in relief."Can I get you something else to wear? Your clothes are still soaking."

Nana nodded, and he squeezed her hand before leaving the room. She used the excess fabric of her skirt to clean the traces of him that had caught in her pubic hair and along her thigh, before pulling it down her legs and bundling it. So he was called Hoseok- even his name made her feel warm, familiar. She cast her eyes around the room, mind whirling. There was a microphone by his computer and large, expensive looking speakers. She decided she would ask him about it later.

When he returned he was holding an oversized shirt and pair of elasticated , leaf-patterned shorts.  He looked a little apologetic, eyes skimming languidly over her naked body. " I don't have anything in your style." He said .

"Of course not, it's not like you were expecting me." she replied, voice sweet and teasing.

-

She dressed unhurriedly, his clothes hanging loosely from her small frame. Hoseok was watching her, eyes soft with affection.

"Wow...you look great, Nana."

Her heart did a little flip as he said her name, and she smirked in disbelief at him. "How could I? I look a mess."

She was referring to her hair, wild and unkempt. Dragging an elastic hair band from her wrist, she began messily tying it into a bun, away from her face.

"You're even cuter like this. So pretty."

Nana blushed hard as he stepped forward, one hand resting softly on her hips as the other cupped her face, pulling her into a sweet, chaste kiss. Surprised, she pressed her lips tenderly against his, suddenly feeling dread at the thought of having to leave.

"Can you stay?" Hoseok asked, his tone pleading and gentle. She felt comforted that he too was experiencing the same, strange sinking feeling in his chest.

However, Nana shook her head, regretfully. "I have to prepare for my classes tomorrow."

It was true; her kitchen table was a chaotic mess of scattered books, stickers, and lesson plans.

His smile fell a little. "Oh...that's too bad. I wish you could."

Her heart hurt at the disappointment in his voice.

"I have an hour before I absolutely have to leave, " She added quickly, sinking back onto the sofa. "Maybe we could get to know each other  a little better?"

"Really? That's okay?"  Hoseok beamed as bright as sunshine itself, and she couldn't help but grin back. Sitting next to her, he immediately wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. They ended up laid down, her head on his shoulder, with  his long legs tangled around hers. Nana glowed, heart thumping as he continually toyed with her curls. Everything about him was warm, and she could easily have dozed off, but she wanted to talk.

"So what were you doing in Europe? I didn't get to ask you."

"Oh," said Hoseok, with a pause. He hadn't fully appreciated until that moment that she did not appear to know who he was, and he wondered if it would bother her to find out. "Me and my friends were travelling..."

She caught the hesitation in his voice, knowing that there was something he was not telling her. "Just travelling?" She prompted, softly.

"I really like you, Nana." Hoseok said. "Do you like me too?"

"Of course I do." Her voice was still gentle, sincere, but she was a little confused by his change in direction. She could tell that he was nervous. He shifted a little, one arm holding her against him as he reached into his pocket and withdrew his phone. After a moment of fumbling, her handed it to her. Bewildered, she took it and squinted a little at the photo on screen. Hoseok, looking sunkissed, was smiling broadly into the camera. Seated behind him were six others, dinner plates and half-empty bottles of Corona placed on the table in front of them.

"I took this of us at a restaurant whilst we were over there," he explained. "That's Yoongi, the one who was helping with the furniture. The one next to him is-"

"Wait," Nana interjected, slowly, eyebrows furrowed as she remembered an interview she had seen on TV a few weeks prior. "I recognise this guy. And this one was-.... ohhhhhh. Now it makes sense."

"What does?"

"Your microphone," She replied, a little dazedly. "I thought you were one of those bloggers who makes a killing from ASMR."

Hoseok exploded in a high pitched cackle.

"ASMR? Really?" He repeated. "I don't think I'd be very popular."

"Stupid guess, I know. I just didn't expect....I don't really keep up with idols these days."

"It doesn't bother you?"

"I think it's amazing. And your friends seem really nice."

Hoseok smiled, obviously relieved. "Yeah, they are."

-

It was several hours later when they eventually pulled up outside of her apartment. The streetlamps had already flickered on, and the windows of the library across the road were dark and empty. Hoseok apologised profusely for keeping her for so long.

"Don't worry about it. I'll catch up before class," Nana reassured, her cheeks slightly rosy. Neither had realised how long it had been as they chatted happily, simply content to hold each other and talk. She now knew that he had an older sister who ran a clothing brand, and that his parents were still living in his birthplace of Gwangju. She in turn had revealed that she had spent a few months in the city as a teenager, during her parent's divorce. He had listened sympathetically as she assured him that they were on good terms , and that she saw them often during the school holidays.

"Is it okay to call you tomorrow?" Hoseok asked.

Nana clutched the plastic bag, containing her clothes, making it rustle loudly as she unbuckled her seatbelt. "I'd be disappointed if you didn't."

They smirked, a familiar crackle of electricity passing between them. Without words, they leaned in close and captured each other in a kiss. She felt his hand caress her cheek, pulling away a little before pressing his lips tenderly once again to hers. Nana couldn't remember the last time she had butterflies like this, and with a little regret, she dragged the belt over her shoulder and began to slide out of the car.

"Thank you."  She said, dizzily. "I'm glad I met you today, Hoseok."

The recollection of that afternoon drifted between them, leaving a long, aching pause.

"Me too," he responded, their eyes meeting in an affectionate exchange.

After what felt like forever, she closed the door of the vehicle, turned her key in the lock, and heard the car pull away as she made her way to the second floor. With a little sigh, she placed the bag on the kitchen chair, gathering up all of the books and piling them back into a large backpack. It would have to wait until the morning.

-

The sound of kids screaming and playing outside drifted through the open window of the classroom. The light breeze was making the wind-chimes they'd made earlier that week tinkle prettily from the latch they were dangling from. Nana took another bite of her BLT, peeling golden stars with her right hand and sticking them into the exercise book in front of her. A soft buzzing made her pause, and she quickly swallowed as she slid open her desk drawer and saw her phone vibrating against her academic diary.

"Hello?" She asked, not immediately recognising the number.

"It's me." The voice on the other end of the line made her heartbeat accelerate, her face suddenly feeling hot.

"I wasn't expecting you to call so soon, " Nana said. "I'm just having lunch. Class starts in a few minutes."

"I'm sorry for disturbing you, I just wanted to ask you something."

Taking another, smaller bite, she urged him to continue, curious.

"Well I.. I haven't stopped thinking about you all morning." He said. He was speaking quickly, as though he had to get out what he was thinking in that instant. "I just wanted to ask if you would be happy if...if I asked you to be my boyfriend."

Nana choked a little on her sandwich. "Your boyfriend?"

"Girlfriend!  I meant girlfriend." Hoseok laughed, and it was infectious. Her stomach began to hurt, until the line went quiet, his soft breathing audible through the speaker. Her chest warmed at the implication, knowing immediately that nothing would make her happier.

"I'd love that." She replied, her smile stretching over her lips, imagining his face as she said it.  The school bell rang and a loud yell echoed from outside as students began to flood into the halls.

"Really? That's great." Hoseok exclaimed over the din.

Her face was beet red, eyes stinging a little, and she wiped the corners with her sleeve. "Yes..." She breathed. "But I have to go now. "

"Okay...well.." His voice was equally breathy."I'll see you soon."

She drew the phone away from her ear as footsteps thundered outside of the classroom door, along with the remains of her half-eaten lunch. Her heart felt so full she thought she might burst.

Needless to say, the class got gold stars on all of their assignments that afternoon.

***

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[buckyforbreakfast]

Roomba

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You leave Bucky home alone for a mere 30 minutes and the roomba finds him.

Warnings: language, brief nudity

Word Count: 1,585

A/N: I kept thinking about how Bucky might not be acquainted with stuff like this and thought it was too cute not to share (re-uploaded because my tumblr got deleted).

He felt almost as if he were intruding in the home. Sure, you had been gracious enough to let him move in. He didn’t have much, no possessions to his name. Still, Bucky felt bad about it. He didn’t pay rent or anything, but you continued to insist he wasn’t taking up any space.

During the time he’d been staying there, sleeping in two different rooms quickly transitioned into sleeping in just one.

Now not only was he intruding in your house, but in your bed as well. Bucky mentally scolded himself for overthinking. Feeling guilty wasn’t beneficial to him or anyone else. Not him and not you. He blamed the shower. When you’re in there with him, he has no room to second guess himself. In fact, whenever you’re around him he has no room to second guess himself. 

You had never left his side before. As soon as he showed up on your steps with his little suitcase, Bucky had become an extension to yourself.

The two of you had been talking for the past month about getting him used to being alone. You were extremely generous with the time and catered to how he felt about it. The first time you left was only for five minutes and Bucky was pretty sure you’d just stood outside the door. Even though he was right, you protested otherwise.

For the past few weeks you’d been doing this, working up to longer periods of time. He wasn’t any happy about it. Bucky let his negative feelings be known when it came to you leaving him to his own devices. Even if he didn’t like it, it was a necessary change. It was getting complained about that Bucky would follow you into public restrooms. You told him he couldn’t go with you everywhere, not that it was up to you, but some places wouldn’t allow either of you back because of it.

Today, you had left him at home to go to the grocery store. He was at a loss of what to do in your absence. Settling on a shower only caused his mind to wander more. A hot shower nonetheless. 

Your words were something he had to keep reminding himself of, making them his mantra. ‘I’m coming back, Buck. No one will take you away. I promise.’

You’d be back in less than thirty minutes. He was okay. He would be okay.

Steam followed him out of the shower. The water still clung heavily to his body as he stepped out. With a sigh, he blinked hard to see more clearly through the fog he created in the bathroom. 

Bucky leaned over the sink to wipe the mirror visible. After all this time, he still wasn’t used to looking back at who he was now. His under eyes were brighter; the bags disappearing with well rest. He knew it was because you’d starting sleeping in the same bed. He knew that you knew it, too.

Bucky smiled at the thought of you, only to knit his brows when remembering that you weren’t there. The shower had already been cut off, but he’d only just heard the obnoxious hum coming from the other room. Immediately, his alertness peaked.

Sloppily, Bucky wrapped the towel around his waist and ran to front room, body still clad with water droplets. Water was getting everywhere; he was soaking everything in his path. If he wasn’t careful he could break something, and most everything in the house didn’t belong to him. 

Shuffling a bit to the left, he paused.

He saw the source of the noise. An unnatural, mechanic round thing rolling itself on the surface area of floor.

He lost all sense of being careful. In his falling short of properly drying himself off, Bucky slipped in the mess he made and hit the hard floor, too close to that whirring object.

He cradled the back of his head from the impact, and looking down his lashes to find it. The tile floor sent chills throughout his body, clearing away any warmth he still had from his shower. He had no time to react as the tiny robot neared where he was on the ground.

His face fell in terror. It was blinking red into his eyes. The machine hovered over his foot before his pinky toe caught the wrong end of the apparatus. Bucky yanked his foot away and scrambled off of the floor. His towel was a crumbled mess on the ground and he didn’t even hesitate to leave it there. So be it if he had to run out of the house naked, he would. 

He ran back to the bedroom to grab the phone he barely knew how to use.

“Fuck!”

Looking down, he saw his pinky toe was turning red. That thing had targeted him. That red blinking light had recognized him and attacked. Artificial intelligence of a sort he’s not yet seen.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Y/N,” he panicked, finally remembering how to reach the call app and stomping his foot to ease the pain.

His heart was beating out of his chest waiting for the dialing tone to stop.

On the last ring you picked up, “Bucky? I’m on my way home. Are you okay?” You could hear his heavy panting on the other end of the line. Picking up the phone on the last ring might have not been your best move.

“Yes. No, it got me. Come home now, Y/N. I’m in the bedroom hiding from it,” he rushed.

“What? Don’t move, Buck, I’ll be there in a few minutes. I love you so much, just hide in the bedroom. I’m on my way right now.”

The line beeped and Bucky’s heart rate picked back up. How the hell did this thing get in the house? He thought the security system was set up by Stark. Standing up from his crouched position on the floor, he shuffled to the dresser drawers to put on some underwear. Finally deciding he didn’t want to be found dead naked.

Y/N’s on her way home. She’ll get rid of it. Tell Tony about it. Maybe put Neosporin on his toe. Everything will be okay. Unless it gets her, too. What if it’s taking DNA samples of its victims? Recording time and location?

He had to protect you from it. He violently searched the room with his eyes before they landed on your crutches from when you had your knee injury a couple months back.

Bucky hopped on his one foot before grabbing one of the crutches, blowing air out of his mouth. Adrenaline racked his body, not letting the pain in his toe slow him down, and reached for the doorknob.

The robot was still humming in the front room, pushing around his towel; red light still blinking. He gripped the crutch firmly in his real hand, leaving the vibranium one empty in case he needed to cause extra damage, and stalked toward it.

Before he could strike the devil machine, he saw you through the glass door, with a wild expression on your face. What the hell was he about to do?

The keys jangled in your grasp as the door flung open. You just stood there. The groceries in your arms discarded on the floor.

“Y/N, don’t come in. I’m going to handle it,” Bucky pointed to the spot you were in, ordering you to stay put.

Instead of doing what he asked, you ran to his innocent target and crouched down to turn it off, “Bucky, are you okay?”

He stared blankly at you, then the powered off device, and then you again, “What?”

Giving him a sympathetic look, you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him down to your level. Bucky’s arms wrapped around you and he sighed. You felt so bad for him, thinking that the self-vacuum cleaner was out to kill him. He buried his head into your neck and his tense muscles finally relaxed.

You set down your keys and ran a hand through his wet hair, “Buck, that’s a roomba, honey.”

His voice was gravelly, “What’s a fucking roomba?”

The whine in his question broke your heart, knowing your Bucky was scared half to death of the harmless thing.

“It a vacuum cleaner, it does the vacuuming by itself with no cords,” you waited a beat, letting him soak in the information, “Were you going to hit my roomba with my crutches?” You couldn’t help but be amused at the sight you’d seen earlier.

The calm man brushed his hair back out of his face and laughed at himself, “Yeah, yeah. I was trying to protect you from it.”

“Come here, Buck,” you embraced him again, “I love you, you silly boy.”

He hummed at your affection, repeating the words back to you and kissing your jaw, “Can we go take a nap?”

“We can, but first, was this your towel?” you pointed to the floor, realizing just how hilarious the scene probably looked. Bucky’s cheeks turned pink, nodding, revealing that the roomba stole it from him.

“Bucky, you ran around the house naked because the roomba stole your towel?”

He hummed before throwing his arms under you, making a grunting noise with the action and walking back towards your room.

You looked up at him, “The towel, Buck.”

“I’ll get it, but first, it’s naptime.”

Punching his chest, you gave him a playful smile and let the poor man take you to your shared room.

PERMANENT TAGS:

@saharzek / @just-add-butter / @sergeant-james-bbarnes / @jitterbuck / @strawberrybucky / @allseeingbee / @spideydaddyboy / @laurfangirl424 / @melannchoholic / @bestbebucky / @lanavintagez / @sweetboybucky @baseballbucky / @httpmcrvel / @aletheladyinred / @impalaimages / @yknott81 / @pizzarollpatrol / @captnsmarvels / @theglowstickofdestiny / @supdaryl

BUCKY TAGS:

@fuckthatfeeling / @notimetoblog / @clarabella960 / @the-soldiers / @jackievonawesome / @merrmaid-queen

[gillianaunofficial]

Whoops too fast! 87 and 60 Poorly Timed Confession 

Okay, I’m sorry this took me ages and ended up wayyyy longer than it should be, it also takes ages to get to the point because i’m a dumb bitch and it’s not even a love confession but without further ado here...

Send me two numbers

AO3

Rating: EShip: Stella x Scully

87 & 60: Aroused By Her Voice + Poorly Timed Confession 

Words Like Honey

“Would you like to come in for a glass of wine?” Stella asked as she stood on her doorstep next to Scully, shivering in the night’s cold air.

“Alright. Maybe just one, it is a bit cold out here to be waiting for the bus.” Stella smiled and unlocked her door, letting Scully into her hallway first before letting herself in and locking the door behind her, she left the keys in the lock. Scully stood hesitantly a couple of metres ahead of her, still wearing her jacket. Stella brushed past her and led her through to her living room.“You can sit down,” Stella said, gesturing to her leather sofa, “I can take your coat and your shoes if you’d like.”

“Thank you.” Scully said, shedding her long winter coat, she handed it to Stella and took of her heels too, she handed them to Stella as well. Stella smiled at her and took them to her back porch. She hung the coat up on a peg and delicately placed the shoes down on the blue and white tiled floor. Stella shed her own coat hanging it up next to Scully’s and kicked off her black five inch heels, placing them again, next to Scully’s three inch heels. She went back through to the living room to find Scully sitting rigidly, almost awkwardly on her sofa, her red hair combed back behind her ears.“Would you like to come and see what wines I have?” Stella asked, frightening Scully who hadn’t realised she was there.“God, Stella, don’t creep up on me like that. But yes I would, if that’s alright.” Scully said, rising from her seat on the sofa. Stella took her through to the kitchen, Stella flicked the light on and walked over to her wine rack, the tiled flooring cold on her feet that were bare apart from her stockings. Scully followed closely behind her, she felt awkward. She was in this woman’s house, that she barely knew, she’d only been working with her for about a week and now she was in her house picking out wine? Scully wasn’t normally exactly the bashful type but something about Stella made her brain short circuit. As if she had a crush on her. Scully was thirty three years old for god’s sake! What kind of self respecting thirty three year old would have a crush? And a crush on a woman fifteen years her senior of all things! Not to mention she was her boss! Scully was going certifiably crazy over Stella.“Dana?” Stella said, her voice slightly raised.

“Huh?” Scully said, becoming aware of her surroundings and, most importantly, Stella, again.“I said, what type of wine would you like? I have lots of different reds and a couple of white wines. I prefer red but you’re the guest so you can pick.”“Uh, red’s alright with me…” Scully trailed off, she couldn’t stop looking at Stella’s perfectly plump, pink lips.“Okay, well I have a couple of varieties of merlot, which is a dry wine,” Stella said slightly pulling out a bottle, “Shiraz, which is a touch sweeter than merlot, uh, I also have a bottle of Montepulciano which is an Italian wine… It goes better with food than on it’s own… I do have some bread and meats so we could have a platter maybe…” Scully could listen to Stella talk about wine forever, the way she spoke, her rich english accent curling around the mainland European words.... She felt a warmth begin to spread in her lower stomach.“Uh, that last one with the food sounds great, if it’s not too much trouble.”“It’s not. I wouldn’t have mentioned it if it was any trouble. I haven’t eaten for hours anyway.” Stella took the bottle of Montepulciano out of her wine rack and set it down on the counter. Stella walked over to her fridge, brushing Scully ever so slightly as she went past. Scully mouth opened slightly, her arousal becoming clearer by the minute. She had to hold it in. She watched as Stella took out a packet of serrano ham and another of salami.“Could you pass me three plates please, Dana?” She asked. “They’re in the cupboard above the draining board.”“Of course.” Scully said her voice breathy, turning around to get the plates for Stella. “Here.” She said walking back over to Stella and placing them on the counter next to her. As she placed them down, Stella reached for the top one and her fingers brushed off Scully’s knuckles. The world stopped for a moment as they left their hands touching and met eyes, before Stella took the plate and started slicing a loaf of fancy bread she’d conjured up, restarting time.“So… Uh, Stella, how do you know so much about wine?” Scully asked, hesitant. Stella placed the meat in circles on two plates.“I spend a lot of my time drinking alone. A woman picks up a thing or two. I also went wine tasting in france once.”“Oh.” Scully didn’t know what to say to that. Stella finished arranging the food, they had a plate of salad, a plate of the serrano ham and the salami and plate of bread.“I’ll take these through if you bring the wine and two glasses. The glasses are in the cupboard next to the one with the plates.“Okay.” Scully said, Stella disappeared, presumably to the living room and Scully grabbed two wine glasses and picked up the bottle, she took the things through to the living room where Stella had set the plates of food down on her coffee table. Scully set the wine and glasses down next to the food.“I’ll just go and get the our own plates and some butter and cheese as well, just in case.”“Okay.” Stella left Scully on her own, she sat down on Stella’s cream carpet and waited. She was convinced Stella was hypnotizing her, the way she acted, the way she looked, the way she spoke, especially… She was captivating.“Okay,” Stella said, reappearing from the kitchen. “We have all this, to eat okay?”“Alright.” Scully replied and watched Stella set the remaining items down on the coffee table, two knives, two plates, a block of cheese, a block of butter and a corkscrew to open the wine. Stella sat down, uncomfortably close to Scully, her skirt riding up slightly. She reached over for the bottle of wine and Scully saw the indentation of Stella’s bra through her silk shirt. Stella popped open the wine and poured each of them a small glass.“Cheers.” They clinked their glasses together in unison. Scully took a sip of the wine.“Oh that’s actually quite nice.”“I knew you’d like it.”“What do you mean?” Scully asked, probing Stella. Who ignored her question and began to pile meat on top of a piece of bread.

An hour later, Scully was still at Stella’s. One glass of wine had turned into many and they were nearly finished the bottle of wine. They’d finished most of the food and Stella had (drunkenly) put the leftovers in the fridge.“Okay, okay, okay… So you’re telling me that you think i’m pretty?” Scully giggled, she was drunker than Stella was, on the verge of slurred speech, Stella wasn’t that much more sober though.“Yes, I do, I actually think you’re very pretty, Dana.” Stella said, taking another sip of her wine.“Oh well… Thank you. I think you’re… Very pretty too… In fact I think you’re absolutely gorgeous! I don’t know how you’re so gorgeous…” Scully trailed off.“Really, you think I’m gorgeous?” Stella said, her accent exaggerated from her drinking. Neither of them were really used to losing their inhibitions like this but they still continued.“God yes I do... And not just your face… Like you’re really hot too, like super hot, like way hotter than anyone I’ve seen before. And.. And… It’s not just your body and your face that makes you hot… I mean your voice!! Holy shit your voice...  I can barely concentrate if you talk because the sound of your voice is just so… So… sexy.” Scully said turning to look at Stella properly, who’s head was tilted.“Really?”“Oh yeah… Definitely… Like your voice is the nicest sound i’ve EVER heard… Definitely…”“Even like this?” Stella said, leaning over to whisper into Scully’s ear, her hair brushing Scully’s face.“Ohh… Even more like this.” Scully felt the arousal from earlier pooling in her stomach again.“Really, definitely?” Stella whispered, suddenly, she crossed the invisible boundary that had been up all evening and kissed the point just below Scully’s earlobe, resulting in a moan. Scully reached out for Stella’s form. She lay down and pulled Stella onto her lap so she was straddling her.“Do you want this?” Stella asked, her voice low.“Yes.” Scully gasped, Stella’s new lower voice making her wet.“Okay.” Stella leaned over and started to kiss Scully, big sloppy kisses that tasted like wine. Stella let one hand drift to the buttons on Scully’s shirt and began to unbutton them. Scully pulled her unbuttoned shirt of and flung it onto the sofa. “Do you want me to touch you, Dana?” Stella said, using her words to her advantage.“God, yes!”“Do you want me to take your bra off and touch your tits? Make your nipples hard?” Scully nodded, suppressing a moan. Stella reached around Scully’s back to find the clasp of her bra, her arm brushed against Scully’s ribcage and Scully erupted in goosebumps. Stella unclasped Scully’s plain black bra and let it fall to the floor. Scully blushed as Stella looked at her boobs and licked her lips, leaving a shimmery residue behind. Stella leaned over and took Scully’s right nipple in her mouth, sucking it and licking it until it became hard in her mouth. She switched over and repeated the action, letting Scully’s other nipple become equally as hard before Stella began to descend closer to Scully’s crutch.“Do you want this?” She asked. “Do you want me to fuck you, touch you, eat you out?” Stella’s words sent a shiver of arousal down Scully’s spine, echoes of the words left in her mind.“Oh god, Stella, please, please touch me.” Scully moaned, her words weak at the mercy of Stella.“I’m going to have to get that skirt off you first though, darling.” Stella said, the word “darling” shocking Scully and making her wetter than she already was.“O-of course.” Scully said, Stella got off her and Scully stood up and shed her skirt, it pooled at her feet and she stepped out of it. “You don’t think maybe we should take this to the bedroom?”“Hm… Well I quite like it here but if you really want to do that… It’s something I could consider.”“Okay.” Scully croaked out her word and Stella took her hand, Scully was holding her hand… Scully was holding Stella’s hand? The woman she had a huge crush on? She was holding her hand and she’d let her touch her tits? And she was… going to have sex with her? Scully never did this, never let her desires take hold… Though to be honest, she kind of liked it. She snapped awake from her daze as Stella opened the door to her bedroom.“Lie on the bed.” Stella said. Scully complied and went back to the position she’d been in on the floor. “Okay…” Stella said, resuming her own position on top of Scully. She leaned in for another sloppy kiss and Scully took it gratefully. “I’m going to touch you now? Okay?”“Yes. God Stella. Please.”“Alright.” Stella smiled and helped Scully out of her pants that matched her bra that was now lying neglected downstairs. Stella let her fingers drift down to Scully’s pussy, she began to slowly rub her clit.“Do you like that, Dana? Does that feel good?”“Yes, Stella, please, keep going.” A gasp turned into a moan. Stella continued to work Scully’s clit before she began to travel down her naked body, kissing her bare flesh until Stella’s head was between Scully’s legs. Stella kissed Scully’s thighs and then moved over and licked the length of Scully’s wet pussy. Scully gasped.“Wait! Stella! Wait!”“What?” Stella sat up to look at the fear on Scully’s face. “What’s wrong, Dana?”“I’ve never done this before…” She said, the confession trembling between her lips.“Done what?” Stella asked, reaching out for Scully’s hand to hold as a confirmation.“I’ve never done this properly… Fully… With a woman.”“Oh.” Silence. “If you don’t want to do this we don’t have to.”“I want to do it. I do. But… Something about it scares me.”“Dana, I’m right here, everything’s okay. Nothing bad will happen and obviously, I’m with you every step of the way so there’s no need to be scared.”“Okay… Okay. I trust you, Stella.”“Okay… So do you want to keep going?”“I think so… Yes. But I kinda ruined the moment didn’t I?”“No, not at all, It’s really fine.” Stella leaned over and gave her a soft kiss. Why she was doing this she wasn’t sure, she wasn’t normally one to be intimate with a one night stand but she also didn’t normally invite them over to her house for wine and food either.“Okay, Stella, can we try again?”“Of course we can.” She said, letting her hands travel back to Scully’s clit and began to gently touch her in slow circles. “Dana, I have a question before we continue.” Stella said, her voice dropping back to the low, seductive level it had been before.“W-what, do you want to know Stella?” Scully shivered under Stella’s touch.“What… Do you… Think… Is the sexiest thing about me?” Stella said, leaning over to leave sloppy kisses on Scully’s neck, feeling her heartbeat.“Holy fuck… Everything… but your voice especially… Didn’t I already say that...”“I think you did, yes.” Stella sped up her circles on Scully’s clit. “What is it about my voice exactly? The way i pronounce my con-son-ants? Sharp and hard? Or the way I dra-a-aw out my vowels as I speak to you?”“Oh god… Stella…” Scully moaned, Stella stopped and positioned her face between Scully’s legs for the second time that night.“You want me to eat you out? You want me to put my tongue inside you?” Stella said, between licks and sucks of Scully’s clit and folds.“Stella… Please just do it…” Scully’s voice was strangled she was already on the edge of climax.“Hm… Okay.” Stella said, before plunging her tongue into Scully’s opening. Scully’s hips bucked into Stella, feeling her completely.“Oh god… Oh god… Stella don’t stop.” Scully moaned as Stella ate her out, she could feel the softness of her lips, the warmth of her tongue. The wetness of herself on Stella’s face. Stella’s nose, nudging every so often at her clit. “Oh god…” Scully moaned harder as Stella sped up, until she felt Scully contract around her. Scully moaned as she came and Stella took her mouth away from Scully. She sat up and then lay down on the bed next to Scully, her fully clothedness in stark contrast to Scully’s complete nakedness.“God… Stella… That was so good.”

“Thank you.” She said, her voice still smooth as honey. She felt Scully take a deep breath next to her. Stella licked her lips, tasting the residue of Scully on them.“Are you ready for round two?”“God yes.”

[kpurereactions]

Shower Time

Namjoon+ Jungkook

Summery: You and Joonie were a blast in the bedroom, to say the least, and when an unknowing Jungkook walks in unexpectedly you couldn’t help yourself.

W/C: 2664

A/N: This is not only my first post, but also my first time writing smut. For those of you who just happen to stumble upon I hope you enjoy:) -Whinny

You and Namjoon were inseparable, that was a known fact to everyone who ever sat in the same room as the two of you. You were six months deep into each other, and the honeymoon state you were in wasn't subsiding anytime soon. Every night was a different adventure as the two of you loved to explore your boundaries, It was hot, to say the least. It seemed like every chance you got the two of you were sneaking off to the closest empty room with a lock to have your way with one another.

You lived on your own, so while you're list of weird places to have sex was growing you saved a lot of the crazy things for your bedroom. These things happened so often you have just left up the silk ties Joon used to hold you in place hanging from the posts on your bed.

The other boys had an idea about your privet relations, this was thanked to Hoseok. Mid sex Joon had left flat on your back with your arms raised above your head and your feet tied open to each post completely naked while he slipped into the bathroom, the thought you being so bare in such a provocative position turned both of you on. That was until Hoseok opened the door running on about some question Yoongi was asking him to ask Namjoon. The two of you locked eyes and froze. You were unable to cover your naked body and he couldn't look away as he stood there shell shocked and mouth gaping, forgetting about Yoongi on the other end of his phone. You laughed and shook your head causing him to scutter out of the room like a dog with its tail between his legs. Since then the rumor of your kinks floated around the boys and you and Joon would neither confirm nor deny, which did nothing but confirm.

At this point in your relationship you were both suffering, his days were long and hard and by the time he would get back to you all he could do was curl up in a ball next to you and fall asleep.  This was about to change though. One night Joon made his way to your apartment, feet dragging but a sparkle in his eye.

"Move in with us. Just for this week, we have such a light schedule and I want to spend every waking moment with you that I can." He said placing himself between your legs as you sat up from your slouched position on the kitchen counter.

"Why not." You said wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning down to press your lips against his.

"Now," He said tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "Have you been a good girl, or a bad girl today?"

"Oh, a bad, bad girl." You said with a chuckle forgetting about the dinner you had started to prepare for him. He grinned picking you up taking you into the bedroom where you spent the rest of the night.

Moving into his room wasn't quite what you had in mind, forgetting that all the boys had doubled up on the rooms. It still worked though, when you weren't now at the studio with Joon you were under him, as Suga usually passed out in the living room and Hobi was too scared to walk in on you again.

All morning in the studio Joon had been teasing you, thrusting his hips as he stared into you with dark eyes or sitting against the wall only to discreetly touch you're inner thigh as he used you as a crutch to stand up. There was even a moment where you were goofing around with Hobi and dancing to one of their songs and Joon placed himself behind you before dragging you back and whispering dirty things in your ear.

When you got home with Joon you could hardly close the door before rounding on him and pulling his neck down so you could take advantage of the completely empty apartment. He pushed you back till you hit a wall and with his hands now on either side of your head it gave you a chance to pull the still damp shirt from his body. You smiled, tsking at the wet shirt and looked up at him.

"I think you need a shower." You said hooking the shirt around his neck and pulling him down into another heavy kiss.

Throwing the shirt around his neck to the floor you hooked your elbow around his neck and jumped letting him catch you so he could carry you quickly to his bathroom, quickly stripping you of the tight clothing that had been teasing him all day. Like every time you were stripped down to nothing, Joon took a step back and smiled at you longingly, taking in every curve and freckle on your body. You laughed and grabbed his hand and pulled until you were both in the shower and the hot water hit your skin, adding to the sensation of his hands all over you.

It didnt take long for his member to stand at attention and the moment it did you stepped over it and moved along his length to tease him as much as he would allow you too. His eyes grew darker by the second as he pulled out of this passionate kiss and grabbed ahold of your arms a little too tight. This brought a wicked smile to your face as he spun you around till your cheek and hands were pressed against the cool tile of the shower wall.

"Ill teach you not to tease." He growled into your ear as he pressed his length into you with no warning.

You screamed in pleasure, laughing as he pulled your elbows together behind your back all while ramming into you at an alarming pace. Your laughter was quickly turned into loud moans of pleasure until his pace quickened so much he had you knock kneed and standing on your toes trying to fight the orgasm that was already threatening to explode out of you. The closer you got to letting yourself go your moans were once again turned into screams. Joon loved this about you, the louder you would scream the wider he would grin as he bore his teeth and hiss between them. And then you let out the loudest scream yet.

You were so close. So close that your legs had started to tremble and your hands reached for his, something you did every time you climaxed. So, So close. But then the bathroom door opened, and a frantic "Y/N? Are you okay!?" Filled the bathroom walls. Joon immediate retracted from you and turned his back to the glass. Anger rising as the pleasure descended from your body you looked out to see Jungkook, wide eyed and frozen, staring at the two of you.

You looked over to Joon who was turning to look at you with a wicked grin. You two had talked briefly about possibly adding a third for a night and never would have requested one of the boys but in this moment in time there was something about the innocence Jungkook held that made you bite your lip and open the glass door.

"Whats that matter Kookie? Never see a naked girl before?" You said walking over to him, still dripping from the shower.  You circled him like prey as he stood there frozen looking up at the ceiling incase he was to offend someone.

"I-I thought you were h-hurt." He stuttered. You looked over to see Joon using the opening of the shower to prop himself up as he watched you seduce the younger member.

"Would you like to join us?" You whispered into his ear and tracing a damp finger across his collarbone from behind him, still not breaking eye contact with Joon. You walked around to lean up against the glass door just in time to see a curious smile tug at his lips when Joon nodded to tell him it was okay.

"Are y- Are you sure?" He said gaining the same nervous look as his eyes met yours.

"Oh, Kookie." You chuckled pushing yourself off of the glass. "Let me take care of you." You whispered placing your hands on either of his shoulders.

When he nodded you grinned again before letting your fingers trace lightly down his arms and off of the tip of his hands till you reached the bottom of his shirt. You gently pulled it up and over his head, smiling at how well he responded to you taking it off. You walked around him again till you were facing Joon who held such a proud look on his face you couldn't help but give him a wink as you pressed your wet lips to the top of Jungkook's trap then blowing gently so he shuttered. Joon smiled and licked his lips, he never thought he would love watching you work your magic on someone else, but it was soon becoming his favorite thing.

You circled around Jungkook once more till you were face to face with him. You smiled sweetly and mouthed Relax which he quickly nodded and took a deep breath. Once again you let your fingers lightly trace up his arm but this time you didnt stop and continued till your hands were running down his chest, to his stomach, to the band of his gym shorts. You hooked your thumbs into the band and looked up to him, not continuing until he gave you a small nod.

He was already hard as you leveled yourself with his member. You pumped him twice using both of your hands before looking up to him. You chuckled and placed a small kiss on his tip, licking your lips at the precum that followed your mouth. He groaned first in pleasure and then in disappointment as you stood back up.

"Come on, Kookie. You're a little dirty." You said taking his hand and pulling him out of the shorts that had pooled around his ankles. Once in the shower you were pulled into Joon's chest, once again straddling his erection and leaving kisses along his neck.

"Don't be afraid, Jungkook. She doesn't bite." He said motioning for him to take a step forward. "Well, she doesn't bite too hard."

Kook gave a nervous laugh as you gracefully took a step back so your back was now pressed against Jungkook's chest. He wrapped his arms around your waist, not sure what to do and you chuckled. You turned to face him and smiled.

"Just follow my lead." You said dropping to your knees.

In one hand you wrapped your fingers around Joon's familiar length, just the touch of it made you ready for anything, and in the other you held onto Kooks. You looked between the two of them deciding who you wanted to take first. Excited to try your newest toy you landed your look on Kook. You give him a little wink that made his member twitch before you let your tongue graze along his length. He twitched again and took a sharp breath between his teeth. You smiled, still running your tongue across him before taking his length in the whole of your mouth. His breathing got heavier as you pumped your head three, four, five times before continuing to stroke and switching your attention to Joon, who didn't hesitate to take a fistful of your hair as he moved your head back and fourth.

"Stand up." Joon growled, startling Kook and making you chuckled. "Kook." He said nodding to you as you repositioned yourself around Joon's length, letting him control the motion of your head again.

It took Kook a second before he got the gist and started to run his hands along your side, almost scared to touch you. His fingers found your slit and stroked it gently causing you to moan in agreement to what he was doing. This gave him the confidence to wrap his arm around you and to start creating a stimulated circle right on your clit. You arched your back and chuckled as the sensation from earlier quickly approached.

"Common Kookie, don't be shy." You said wiggling your open behind to him till you caught his member and started to press against it. He moaned from his chest and entered you, causing a sharp inhale to come from the back of your throat. Joon moaned at this, that feeling of cold air rushing down your throat giving him a new sensation. Kook started to pump carefully, every time his hips hit you it pushed your forward causing Joon to creep further and further down your throat.

"Faster." You breathed standing so Joon could crash his lips onto yours. Joon took this opportunity to start to rub your clit. Sandwiched between the two boys your orgasm was getting easier to reach, but once again Joon stopped the stimulation and moved his hand up to your neck and pulled you so your head rested in the crook of his neck.

"Y/n only cums when we tell her too. Switch." He growled and instantly Kook removed from you a little to fast for your liking. The moment he was out Joon spun you around so you faced Kook with a grin and replaced your hand around his member.

"You're such a good boy Kookie." You said making him blush at your words as your thumb pulled down at his bottom lip. You tried to say something else but once again Joon had rammed himself into you causing another high pitch scream that turned into a giggle as your bared your teeth.

"Down." Joon said pushing your back so you were once again level with Kooks member. You didn't hesitate to pull it in your mouth, allowing the harsh pounding of Joon's body to create the back and fourth motion of your mouth around Kook.

At this point all three of you were a moaning mess. Kook's hands tangled themselves in your hair as Joon's held tightly to your waist. Once again every time Joon pushed into you, you crept further and further down taking in more of Kook every time until his tip was hitting the back of your mouth. Kook came with no warning and you let his liquid flow down your throat as Joon increased his pace even more.

"Fuck Fuck Fuck!" You screamed as the coil inside of you tightened. You grabbed onto Kook's hips tighter and turned to bite your shoulder as Joon continued to pound you from behind.

"Cum for us, baby." Joon growled breathlessly as his pumps became staggered as he reached his own climax. All it took were those four words to send a scream from your lungs as your legs quivered to the point where Joon was holding you up as you tried your best to brace yourself against Kook.

The next morning you woke up with Joon wrapped around you, his head burried in the natural state of your hair. You shifted waking him up and his grip around you tightened as your favorite dimples appeared on his cheeks.

"Did you have fun playing last night kitten?" He said sleepily letting his eyes open slowly, smiling as you nodded.

"I think we need to have a new rule though." You said shifting so he could see you better. "No matter who joins us, you're the only one allowed to make me cum."  You said pushing yourself up closer to his ear.

"Of course baby girl."

The two of you rose, and noticed Jungkook's bed was already empty. Joon took your hand and pulled you along out of the room where you were greeted cheerfully by everyone. You both said your good mornings and almost instantly you met Kook's gaze, who looked almost borderline terrified of you. Walking by his  chair you lent over and picked a fruit off of his plate.

"Morning Kookie."

[room3voluntary]

In meds we trust

I was in the toilet when I heard a polite knock at my door. 'Are you in Maddie? A man’s voice floated through the door. I was only in there looking at my face. Well, the chemical caused acne breakout that used to be my face. Urgh. I opened the door. 'I just have some paperwork to fill in if that's ok?' I realised he might be a junior doctor and he was as polite and his knock. I grabbed them from his hand and it was the usual. 2 pieces of paper, each with situation statements which I had to confirm with a circle. Never, rarely, some days, several days, always. Question 3 really got me. 'Do you talk to yourself while you're alone? What type of question is that ?'I asked aloud. He asked why and I said how do you know. 'How do you know if you talk to yourself while you're alone? That's like asking if a tree falls in the wood when no one is around does anyone hear?' He started laughing. 'I see your point' he said 'I know that I talk to myself' me too. I circled 'several days'. I think everyone does. He thanked me and collected the papers. He informed me I have formulation meeting tomorrow. A formulation meeting is where everyone gets together and discusses what to do with you. It sounds so clinical. How do you  solve a problem like Maddie? I've been a puzzle quite a few times. 

 I was sat at my desk when a seriously lady walked in, carrying a briefcase and a warm smile she perched on the end of my bed. 'My name is Dr Khatri'.

 First things first we discussed the events which led me here but after a while she clocked my note pad. She asked me what I was writing so I explained. It was partly this, partly my book and partly serious subjects. 'I wish I was as creative as you' she said. We then continued trawling through my history and uttered the words I knew were coming but still filled me with dread. 'I think you will benefit from an antipsychotic'

 In 2008, after the first serious admission i had, I left hospital at went back to college. I had my second psychotic breakdown 6 months into my first year at art college. It was now September and my first day back. i was so nervous but everyone was so nice, within a few hours i got my confidence back, i was ready to begin. I stared at the canvas in front of me and nothing happened. Creativity used to flow out of my hands. My mother was told I was gifted. I never saw a blank canvas I saw one hundred visual stories to be told. I picked up the charcoal to trigger some sort of idea but nothing happened. Then it hit me, I was normal. I was functioning but i'd sacrificed my creativity for it. Id sacrificed part of myself. 

 When you're young you're told to believe in you're dreams. You can achieve anything you want but as you get older you realise this isn't true and it takes hard work and sacrifices. My goal was to be normal and for that i realised I'd sacrificed part of my soul. Through the following year, I noticed not only had I sacrificed my soul, also my identity and it was down to a little blue pill called aripiprazole. aripiprazole was an antipsychotic and two years later when I had a trial coming off it, I came back. My soul re-entered my body, whatever what repressing me left and I got my sparkle again. I didn't want to be locked away again.

 'It's an antipsychotic called olanzapine' she said covering an awkward silence in which I realised I hadn't replied. 'I understand you have tried aripiprazole and quetiapine in the past yes?' I had but they were both the same, they stole who I was but quetiapine had made me physically ill as well. bad allergic reaction.

'What are the side effects?' I asked when I finally got out of my thoughts. 'There can be weight gain as a side effect' i knew this. Not only that I knew olanzapine was the worst one for it. I felt sick. I am Maddie and I am skinny. That's part of me. Throughout my life I've had patches where I've been a bit funny about my weight and for this reason I felt like I'd been given a death sentence. Logic once more dictates that this was ridiculous, but me and logic aren't always friends. I'm crazy and ill but at least I'm skinny and exciting. I'm not pretty enough to be fat. Medication weight is entirely different to normal weight. It's all on the stomach. You see it, a big round pouch. It's all on the stomach and flat in the eyes. I got one before, not big but it was there. People can be beautiful at any weight, size and shape but it made me so worried. My choice was be mad or be unhappy with how I look. I don't know what's worse. I know I was being dramatic, I know I was being shallow and vain but maybe It's what I deserved. 'Okay' I said. I wasn't really thinking. I'd already conceded to defeat to continue to participate in the decision. She asked if I had any more questions and smiled as she left. I smiled too.

 I am not anti-medication. I am pro-medication. I'm already on some. There are so many people, mainly who suffer with depression I've found, who point blank refuse any meds. I understand, they worry for the same reason as me but no matter how good your diet is, no matter how many miles your run, sometimes you're serotonin will not play the game. There is no denying these factors help but sometimes you need a crutch, a little helping hand to get you through the day but prejudice and fear seem stronger than logic. 'You don't need pills, why would you want to put all those chemicals in your body?' Preaches the person who nearly blacks out on tequila every weekend before inhaling a gram of cocaine through to Sunday morning. 'You just need a distraction' says the person who’s never even had a cold in their life, never mind any other health problems.

 It's a chemical imbalance: would you tell someone with diabetes it's a state of mind? And the same as diabetes, yes a diet can help, but you're not going to stop that imbalance by stopping their insulin. Ignorance causes suffering.

 The reason for my reservations was my complicated past with this type of drug. After a short time of contemplating in silence I started to cry. I felt heartbroken. Everything I had tried, the struggle and determination I had fought to stay off them, I was back to where I was a few years ago. I had failed. My heart sank into my chest not only through disappointment but the knowledge she was probably right.  I was being selfish too, my behaviour was also effecting the people around me, i had to be fixed. It was the most logical answer. I also knew that medication effects individuals in different ways but even that didn't help me. What could I do? I needed to formulate a plan of my own. Ferociously scribbled into my notebook cause and effect, feelings and frenzied suggestions but i knew deep down i was wrong.

 I went to find a nurse. I wasn't good at this whole 'talking to someone' business, I can do it in my own, but I needed to say my thoughts out loud.

 The ward has been busy. It was living up to a stereotype I tried to ignore. Sharon, the walker, was no longer wandering the hallways but yelping incoherently to herself in her room. Earlier a new girl was brought in by a flock of people who promptly tried to escape and hit her dad. I watched as she screamed and wet her self. I watched her violently thrashing as she was rugby tackled like a SWAT team by the staff and sedated. As we all shuffled off to our rooms as instructed by staff, I saw her legs were all bruised and bleeding. I saw her eyes too, she wasn't there. 

 I finally found a nurse to speak to. No, talk at. Through mascara stained rambling I explained. She said nothing. Finally she said 'don't worry about the weight gain, it doesn't happen to everyone'. What a pile of shit. Yes it does, it's the one that does it that most, im not an idiot. 'Tea is ready if you want some?' She said changing the subject and leaving. I didn't want some. I wasn't hungry. Probably because I knew soon that's all i'd be. Hungry and lost. 

 As the evening drifted on, it nearly time. I made my way to the treatment room like a prisoner on the way to the executioners block. I had to get rid of this negativity. i had to try. I slouched on the chair outside the treatment room, waiting for my name to be shouted. A few of the older and worse patients were watching TV. I looked at their facing staring blankly at the set. How do they do it? All of them are on antipsychotics and they just get on with it. That's all some of them do though, just stare at the TV in their pyjamas. I can't work out if they know what's going on or braver than me, stronger than me? Probably both, more so the latter.

 I heard my name and got my meds. I saw a new little pink one, poking out of the crowd of pills in the paper cup. 'This is a new one for me. I'm excited for the sleep but not the weight gain!' I joked. She just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. I took a deep breath and knock it back. Then nothing. I don't know what I expected. The whole world to change? To die? Everything was exactly the same. An hour passed and still nothing happened. I was just sat watching TV and very much still myself. 

 I got up to go to the kitchen and that's when I noticed the change. Fuzzy. Everything was fuzzy. From the floor tiles to door frames everything was like a slow slide show, doubled and swayed. I felt like static, my brain full of white noise. I stumbled into the kitchen but it was too bright so I abandoned my cup and made my way to my room. I felt as though i was walking through water. A 5 second journey turned into a 5 mile march of white corridor. I have spent more time in a drug fuelled trip wandering round hospital corridors than I have house parties this year. 

 I finally made it into bed and turned out the lights. Everything was better now. The white noise was quieter. Calm. The world has righted itself. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was my legs feeling hot against the bed sheet.

 *****

 I've just woke up. I can't get up

  It was two hours later and I was still struggling to move. Every twitch of my leg and flex of my arm made me feel sick. I needed the toilet, I had to move. My mouth was sandpaper dry, I needed some water, I had to move. I eventually pulled myself up and felt better I thought- until I stood up. It felt like my heart was going to explode through my chest. All my extremities tingled. I edged my way to the toilet using the wall as a frame and finally reached the bowl. That was the best piss I ever had. I looked over the mirror. I looked awful. Every time I closed my eyes I could see the veins pulsing across my eyelids and in my reflection that is what I saw. Blood shot eyes, the negative of what I saw in the blink, like a fingerprint. I got up and shuffled to the door.

 The hallway was white. Too white. My heart felt like it was beating into my legs, each step a slow and heavy thump. The pressure in my chest was radiating down from my head which was locked in an invisible vice. The heaviness of my head led the way as I went to find help. 'I don't feel very well' I said when I finally reached the dining room hatch. One of the nurses took my arm 'oh dear' she said 'Coincidence has it, a doctor is here, I'll get him to take a look at you, don't worry'. I lent in her shoulder and she grabbed me gently by the arm and steadily walked me to the treatment room. 

 wilted on the bed, I blinked and there stood a figure leaning over me, face shrouded by the strip light behind, turning his features into a silhouette which was crowned by a halo. My eyes adjusted to the lights and distortion melted away. The silhouette was now replaced with a dark haired doctor. He looked early 30s. Quite cute actually. First attractive person I'd seen in ages and i was in this state. The nurse from before leaned over and pulled my top up. I then also realised I had my tits out. Great. Faces of Meth, faces of Maddie, there was very little distinction. 'Hold up your arms, put then together onto your chest and lift them up like chicken wings' he said. What. He must have seen my expression of disbelief and confusion as he showed me how. 'I'm not going to press on your elbows and you have to try and keep them up, okay?' He was very authoritative yet polite. I liked it. From there proceeded a number of resistance tests, pulling and pressing on various limbs. After a while he pulled out his stethoscope and listened to my chest before checking my blood pressure. Everything was a little bit high. 'You are experiencing some very strong side effects but you are okay but we'll mention this to the consultant. Try and get some rest' Rest. That is all anyway says but it doesn't seem to be working. The nurse helped me back up and I hauled myself back to bed.

 'Maddie can i come in?' The staff nurse shouted the door. 'You have your formulation meeting at 1 o'clock is that okay?' It was 12:30. Oh god, I had so much to say, so much to explain, so much persuading to do and I couldn't in this state. I was struggling slur through a sentence. mind fuzzy. I started to panic, the kick of adrenaline woke me up and I pulled on some clothes and lumbered to meeting room. It was time to formulate my formulation, see where my path was headed next, and I was not prepared.

 When I walked in I was greeted by four ladies all sat in perfect symmetry, two on each side. There was my mum, a staff nurse, the psychiatrist and a lady I didn't know. I looked at my mother who couldn't hide her concern at the state I'd walked in. 'I don't want to take olanzapine again, please don't make me' I pleaded before anyone could even begin. 'It is your body and I can see you are not well' I looked at Dr Khatri 'They have had an unusually adverse effect on you. In the pasts you have tried aripriprazole and quetiapine and there were not successful either. I don't think this medication is for you. I see no benefit to continuing'  she smiled at me. 'Thank you' I replied. Thank you didn't even cut it, thank you for the bottom of my heart. A wave of relief washed over me. I said previously they are not good for me but no one had really listened. I have the symptoms, they fix the symptoms but they don't suit me. Antipsychotics are anti-Maddie. 'We have decided to the observe and see how you go' she continued 'we will wait for the increase in lamotrogine to take effect and if you manage to have two nights full rest, you can go on weekend leave and if that is successful we can discuss discharge' even better! This was the plan. This is want I wanted. I struggled to hold back tears as I thanked her. The lady was finally introduced to me. She was my work liaison officer. The thing is, and the thing you may not believe is, I am full time employed. Up until a while ago I was just like you. A Starbucks drinking, Tesco raiding, selfie taking, endless consumer. I was the one who accidentally walked into you in a heaving pool of people in primark. I am the person who sat opposite you on the train. A 'mutual friend',  a 'someone you might know'.

 Mental illness believes in equality. It doesn't judge or have prejudice. It will simply strike any of us at any moment. A monster lurking in the dark.

 For a while I’d felt like my life had been stagnant and now it was the most static and stagnant it’s ever been. I needed to get out.

 For the rest of the meeting I stayed slumped in my chair, the drugs still flowing through my veins. I watched them speak, their mouths moved but blurred sounds came out from far away. Dr Khatri hand grabbed mine and shook it, our faces smiling simultaneously. The plan was complete. The formulation; I just had to sleep. Not that hard right?

 *****

 I’m trying to sleep but It’s raining. It’s raining so hard. I overheard something about a storm earlier, about the sky turning yellow? I don’t know. It’s not just me that’s gone crazy recently, it’s the whole world. I couldn’t sleep though it like the slow motion crush of a car bonnet crumpling into a wall in a crash test simulation, dummy falling and bending inside.

 Suddenly silence. I flipped open the curtain next to me, only blackness peered back in. No rain.

 From behind me I heard the pitter patter of quick footsteps down the corridor and quickly flung myself into bed and pretended to be asleep. A few seconds later I heard the shutter fold up, the flash of a light and felt the eyes of a nurse observe me for a moment before moving on. I heard the shutter slap down I rolled over. Try again.

 I lay in the darkness, it buzzing around me like bees trying to shut down. Even if I don’t sleep even if they just think I have slept I can leave. I wasn’t going to move but then I heard the tapping. It was coming from outside of my window. Tap, tap, tap. I got up and went to the bathroom and slid under the sink, curling into a ball. Tap, tap, tap. I closed my eyes and breathed.

 I wont tell them about this

[datingdiaries123]

Number 14: The one with the different lifestyle

So this post is being called ‘Number 14′. Now, these are not in order anymore, which will annoy those of you are slightly OCD about these types of things being chronological. But the reason being, this one is the most recent date, and is most fresh in my mind. I thought writing it now would mean I don’t miss anything out, so here goes….

It’s January, probably my least favourite month of the year when the weather is dark, cold, often wet and windy, and it’s that weird time after Christmas and before spring. This January is different, in fact it’s probably worse, as I have been on crutches for the past month as I’m recovering from a foot operation. So getting out and about has not been easy (relying on others for lifts), I’ve been in pain and it’s not the best time to meet the man of my dreams (well, probably not). I am also sporting the latest in fashion accessories, a big black support boot. So now you see how un-sexy this all sounds, I have been looking after myself and not doing any dating.

In the week that everyone went back to work I went back onto internet dating. I was working from home now and able to walk with the boot, so if I did happen to meet anyone decent, there’s a chance I can at least meet up with them. I got matched with someone local who only lives a few miles away. We chatted for a few days and then he asked if I’d like to meet up. He knew my boot situation and didn’t seem bothered, so I thought ‘why not’ and we set a date for later on in the week. He hadn’t told me that much about him at this point, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, as it gives you more to talk about when you meet them face to face. The day of the date came and he said I could pick where to meet. I opted for a local pub, as I can’t drive yet due to my foot, so it wouldn’t be too far for either of us to travel (and easy for me to get home again if it turned out to be a disaster date!) 

I booked my taxi and ended up arriving at the pub early. This was fine, at least I’ll have none of the ‘Oh god, which one is he?’ moments walking in…. he can spot me and come over to me! I got us a table and sent him a message. It didn’t show as ‘delivered’ so looked like his phone was off. Hmm, this wasn’t a good sign. I waited at the table, getting more and more anxious, hoping that he’d suddenly appear. It was now 12 minutes after the meeting time. At this point I was getting concerned that he had done a runner and wasn’t going to turn up. Then my phone started ringing - it was him! He’d got lost (don’t know how, he had sat nav) and was about 2 miles away, in the wrong direction. I sent him my exact location on my phone and he said he’d be a few minutes. Phew, at least I knew he hadn’t bailed on me! I got the first drinks in and waited at the table. 

Sure enough, a few minutes later he turned up. He looked exactly like his photos (phew) but felt shorter than I expected, probably as I was wearing the big boot which has a platform wedge underneath which makes me rather giant like!! We had plenty in common, he was an electrician and also owned a few properties so loved a bit of DIY (like me - the DIY part, not the properties!). He told me all about his life growing up, travelling and holidays, the usual conversations. He asked me if I had kids and I said I didn’t, just got my dog. Then he said he has 4. I wasn’t expecting that! He hadn’t mentioned the kids before now, not that it’s a deal breaker. Their ages ranged from 2 to 18. He told me about them all and the mums (some were good and some were not so nice). It was an eye opener but still, not a deal breaker. I just don’t know if he’d have much spare time compared to me. The date went well and there were no awkward silences or weird conversations, all good so far. He asked me if I’d eaten, which I hadn’t. We ended up having pub food, which as most of you will know, it is rare I eat on a first date - so this was positive! Things seemed to be going well but sometimes you can’t tell if they like you, like fancy you. He was a really good looking man, the usual type I go for, dark hair (a bit of grey), stubble, nice eyes and teeth, muscular….tick boxes so far! My only negative at this point was he was my height (yes I know that’s mega picky but I do like it when they’re taller as I’m 5ft 10″ and I like to wear heels when I go out) and he had a really strong Yorkshire accent (which I can deal with, but it’s a bit much sometimes).

The date came to an end and we walked out of the pub together. I was going to book my taxi at this point but he offered me a lift home. Okay then, it’s only round the corner and he seemed decent, so I accepted. I got him to drop me off a few doors down and thanked him for the lift. There was no sign of a kiss so I got out and it was all fine. Off he went and I got a text later on saying he really enjoyed the date and would I like him to cook me tea in the next few days. I thought that sounded like a good opportunity to get to know him a bit better so I agreed. He invited me to his but said he was equally happy to cook at mine (as he knows I can’t drive to him). I decided to go to his, as 1. I hadn’t had time to clean/vac the house and 2. Thought it would be good to see where he lives and have a nosy at his pad! (He wasn’t being invited to mine yet!!)

He kindly picked me up on my street and we drove to his. It was literally 4 minutes down the road so not far at all. It was a very nice area and where people with money live. We went in and it was very luxurious - from the carpets, to the wallpaper, to the furniture. I asked him if he’d decorated it and he said he had - he had picked all the colours and furniture etc. (I was wondering if it was an ex, as the lampshades were glass chandeliers with matching lamps in the corners of some rooms. He gave me a little tour as I was interested to see what he’d been doing to it (he moved in a few years ago and has been renovating it and built an extra staircase plus top floor). It all looked really fancy and the layout was good, compared to what it was like when he bought it. I was impressed with his DIY skills but not so much with the velvet walls in his bedroom. Not my taste at all - very Footballer’s Wives! I made a joke about his watch collection, as he had about 10, all lined up on these special display stands. He said I better not mug him….. my response was that one watch is enough…. then he said they’re worth a grand each…..!!! I have no idea about watches and brands so was pretty shocked to hear that. Eeeeeek, around 10 grands’ worth of watches just in one room, very flash. (For reference, my watch cost less than £100 and isn’t flash at all, just practical!).

Anyway, I sat in the kitchen whilst he cooked us tea. He’d done all that himself too and it was a nice looking room - cream gloss cabinets and wooden worktops, looked very smart. I couldn’t help but notice that he had a corner full of vitamin containers. I asked about them and what they were all for. Turns out, he’s into his healthy eating in a major (obsessive?) way. He will only buy certain brands and has a serious thing about pesticides in food. How on earth could we go for a meal or go to someone’s house and it not be weird and awkward?! We went into a deep conversation about the pesticides in foods over dinner (which was lovely, salmon and asparagus, very tasty, for those who were wondering). I was impressed with his cooking skills but asked where the carbs were….! He said he avoids cards where possible and his body is in ketosis, which I now understand a bit better, from him. Basically, its a high-fat, low-carb diet and it sounds really strict. By reducing carbs, it puts your body into a metabolic state called ketosis. One thing I must not forget to mention at this point is our cutlery. He gave me silver cutlery but had wooden cutlery himself. Of course I had to ask why….! Then I opened a whole can of worms - it’s due to him not wanting to put metal into his body - this was healthy eating to the extreme! “It’s not like you’re digesting the metal, its only going in your mouth temporarily whilst you eat….” why I am even explaining this fact?! We had a conversation about this that lasted far too long and went round and round in circles. I see his point but isn’t this a bit ridiculous? And I noticed that he used metal cutlery in the pub the other night…. But apparently that’s due to him not wanting me to think he’s weird. Oh okay then…..! (I just do right now).

After tea we sat down and chatted some more. I couldn’t help but notice how plush the living room was. It had a huge corner settee which could easily seat 8 people, leather look walls, velvety curtains, a shaggy rug with sparkly bits in, chandeliers which I mentioned earlier, mirrors with sparkly frames and picture frames which matched. The carpet was dark grey and the other furnishings were either black or dark grey. I had in the back of my mind that my dog could never visit here - he is white and moults like crazy, it would be a nightmare! It didn’t feel like the sort of living room where I felt comfortable. I mean, yes the settee was comfy, but I wouldn’t have felt right putting my feet up after a busy day, or having a drink and accidentally spilling something. Or having a dog there…..! It felt too ‘perfect’ and not comfy and ‘lived in’, if that makes sense. At mine I have throws in every room, dog beds and blankets, trinkets and personal items out and on display, and no blingy things that I can think of! It was getting late. He offered to give me a lift home which was very kind, so I nipped to the loo before we set off. This whole time he had been a complete gentleman, I can’t fault him there. 

The bathroom was something else!!! The floor had glittery bits in the tiles, the loo seat had diamantes set into it (think mega blingy, almost chavvy) and the mirrors were the same style as the living room - big and blingy edging. Even the soap dispenser and toothbrush holder had diamantes on, it was diamante overload!! I commented on the loo seat when I went back in and he found it funny. He said he picked it all himself and likes ‘a bit of bling’. Well yes, that was certainly true! As we were leaving I noticed a photo of him on a huge yacht - turns out, he only owns it! I’m talking one that you could have a party on board, with like 20+ people!! I should add at this point that he also owns multiple properties, both in the UK and abroad. His life is SO different to mine. His is so luxurious and mine just isn’t!! I am easily pleased by the little things like walking my dog, crafting activities and things that’s aren’t ‘look at me’ blingy activities. And our houses are nothing like each other. Ultimately, I couldn’t see him ever living with me, or me living with him. So after that second date we parted company. Funnily enough, he also agreed we weren’t compatible. He was looking for a ‘princess’ type girl and that will never be me! So here I am, back at square one, my old friend. The comfort of being alone and not having to deal with someone else, but the loneliness of being on my own at this time of year. And so the search continues….

[vthiker09]

Under the Knife Part 1

Two days after my accident, I made my first trip to see my assigned orthopedic surgeon.  I checked in and was given a survey about how my injury impacts my daily life.  One of the questions asked: “Please describe your pain or problem as best you can and how it affects your life.” This seemed like an absolutely ridiculous question to ask someone with broken bones who couldn’t walk.  Wasn’t it quite obvious how my problem affected my life?  After asking Mike how I could possibly even answer this question, I wrote: “My ankle hurts a lot.  I can’t stand on it and it hurts to move.  My leg is broken and hurts.”  In retrospect, I should’ve written something like this: “Your one size fits all medical approach is substandard and I wish you would treat me like a human being, instead of just another patient ID number.” Keep in mind I was much more positive about this process 14 months ago. 

After some serious eye rolling and a few quick pictures to capture the absurdity this questionnaire represented, I sat and waited for the doctor to come in.  Shortly after, the person who I had thoroughly stalked via google rolled in (he has seven degrees all from Ivy League schools). He shook my hand, asked what happened, told me “at least you aren’t dead,”  took my splint off, said it looked pretty good, and then dove into the details of the surgery I would have two days later.  

The actual name of the procedure was a long string of words with Latin roots, which meant absolutely nothing to me.  After the surgeon rambled off what he would undertake and a brief explanation of the recovery process, he asked if I had any questions. My response was “no.”  Now I am not a bashful or shy person.  Often times, I actually am prone to overthink or stress out about situations to a point where people will say: “Erin, that’s not even possible.”  

You would think my ability to walk and more importantly, my ability to hike would have motivated my overthinking self to ask a) What is a syndesmosis?  b) what does “reduction and internal fixation” even mean? c) are there risks associated with this surgery? d) Are there common or less common complications? or any host of other important questions I’ve now learned you should absolutely ask someone before they cut open any part of your body.  Instead, I was silent.  I was silent because I didn’t feel like I had a choice.  I was told in the ER I would have to have this surgery and it felt like a means to an end.  It wouldn’t change my situation to know what the many Latin roots strung together actually meant and it wouldn’t get me back on the mountain any sooner if I even knew what I actually injured.  Yup - that’s right, I didn’t know what I had actually injured until almost ten months after my injury occurred.  We’ll talk more about this piece later.

When I think about my apathy now, I realize my near-death experience, only two days before this, was traumatic and I wasn’t capable of fully processing what was going on.  My life had changed drastically in a matter of one step and my way of coping with this was to just say “okay.”  Paired with this, I had never been seriously hurt before.  Actually, I hadn’t seen a doctor in over a decade.  Thus, how to interact with a surgeon, what to ask, and how to advocate for myself were skills I didn’t have.  I would later be forced to quickly learn these skills and for now, I was just along for the ride. 

Two days later, my alarm went off at 4:30 am, which provided me with ample time to make it to the opperating room by 6:00 am.  I mentally checked off my list of presurgical instructions: 1000mg of Tylenol 3 times within the last 24 hours, comfortable clothing, no makeup, no contacts, shower twice with antibacterial soap, no jewelry, take out all piercings, and of course my $2,000 co-pay they would swiftly collect as part of my registration.  What would seem like a fairly simple checklist, in reality, was more like some sort of really fucked up obsticle course. 

What it really looked like was this:

1. Sit up in bed.  Make sure you don’t hit your leg on anything.

2. Crutch to the bathroom.  While standing on one leg, lift the toilet seat, hop into position and do a one-legged squat to sit down.

3. Wrap your splint in a trash bag and make sure the duct tape is wrapped securely enough so your cast doesn’t get wet.  Remember, the nurse said a hundred times this was quite important.

4. Ask Mike to help you into the shower.  Attempt to shower while sitting/balancing on one leg.  Ask Mike to help you get out of the tub.  

5. Crutch back to the bedroom and ask Mike to get your clothes.  Manage to put on clothes while on one leg. Be sure to swear a bunch.

6. Scoot down the stairs.  Crutch to the front door.  Ask (somewhat yell at) Mike to carry all your belongings, because carrying something isn’t in the cards right now.  Scoot down another flight of stairs.  Crutch to the car.  Give Mike your crutches and hop into the car.  Remember, you can’t put your leg on the ground, so it’s the back seat for you.

Remember this piece - being broken is exhausting and everything you just do almost automatically now will become two hundred times harder.  Carrying a glass is a real treat, isn’t it?

Once we got to the hospital, it was just like what you would think having surgery would be like.  A bunch of people talk at you, you get too many drugs, you get wheeled into the operating room, you don’t remember anything, and then you are in recovery.  It’s almost like those involved have done this a time or two before.  When I was in recovery, the surgeon said: “give her another pillow.” Now, thanks to the “too many drugs” I couldn’t feel a thing.  Thus, in true Erin style when I was told emphatically, “keep your leg above your heart” I didn’t listen.  

After successfully managing to go to the bathroom, I was allowed to leave.  Before we get to the leaving piece, I would like to thank my college binge drinking days for aiding me in the process of crutching to the bathroom, in socks, on a tile floor, while on said pile of drugs.  After a short wheelchair ride to the car, Mike promptly pulled to the front of the hospital, I hopped into the front seat.  Remember the whole “keep your leg above your heart” piece, well, about that.....

The first thirty minutes were fantastic.  I couldn’t feel a thing and I was thinking “silly doctor who said this would hurt, this doesn’t hurt at all!”  Then reality set in - my newly surgically repaired limb with it’s two shiny screws, sat in a car for thirty minutes resting on the floor, and was so very unhappy with me.  The next twelve hours were the most painful twelve hours I have ever experienced.  They were way worse than the nerve block the dashing orthopedic surgeon had given me in the ER.  I can’t even describe them.  All I know is it super hurt and I never want to feel those feelings again.  At one point Mike came in and said: “You seem to be moaning in pain, do you need me to call someone?”  I didn’t even realize I was making noise.

This brings me to probably one of the dozens of lessons I have learned: Do what the doctor says because they aren’t giving you directions for their own benefit.  They are telling you things like “keep your leg above your heart” because the alternative is pretty awful.  Channel your internal five-year-old and line up in alphabetical order for lunch - or in more basic terms, just do what you’re told. Keep in mind this doesn’t mean you have to blindly follow directions and you aren’t part of your own healing process.  We’ll talk more about this piece later though.

Only four days after my injury, I had had my very first surgery ever.   Now it was time to really dive into “the year of the couch.”