#and i didnt have time for like. a fucking history lesson so i tried to just be like 'sometimes people say bigoted things and they sound like

[nowoyas]

Casually let slip that i was jewish at work and my coworkers IMMEDIATELY jumped to "Oh so you secretly rule the world lol you must be a rothschild" can I fucking die actually

[orcelito]

I've been following that AITA blog for a bit now and it has me thinking about my own life situations with conflict and drama. A passive "do I have anything I could submit to that blog?" But upon thinking about it, it's like... I really find no value in asking strangers whether I'm "the asshole" in situations. There are situations where I'm clearly not at fault, situations where I was a little shit but it was justified, and at least one situation where I have a definite "Oh yeah, I was definitely the asshole there". All in the past, so it's not like I'd even need advice or anything. I already know, so what's the point?

Maybe it stems from me being a generally self-aware and self-confident kind of person. I know what's going on with myself, know when I've wronged people, & I have a mentality of "well, I'll try to not do that in the future." Even if I feel a little guilty thinking back, what's the point of asking after something when I know I'm at fault? Or situations where things were complicated and both people had fault in things, but I know I wasn't being shitty on purpose & that's what matters to me. Ultimately, it results in a bunch of strangers drawing conclusions about things I really don't care about outside input on.

Still love reading the blog tho. There's something about reading up on random people's life drama that satisfies that gossipmonger soul in me So well.

[leynaeithnea]

*appears from the shadows*

little wolf analysis 😏 ?

LITTLE WOLF ANALYSIS you bet

IVE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS SONG AND I HAD SUCH HIGH HOPES AND I DIDNT GET DISAPPOINTED AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHJFSJJSSKDKFKDKKF

Okay lets go

26. Little Wolf

THAT BASTARD

"Fight, little wolf, fight, wanna entertain me?" HE IS TAUNTING TELEMACHUS, HE INVADED HIS HOME AND HE ONLY SEES HIM AS A SOURCE OF ENTERTAUNMENT, A MILD BOTHER, HE CAN PLAY WITH UNTIL HES BORED THAT FUCKING DOG AND THE OTHER SUITORS JUST BACK HIM UP AH, but "little wolf"??? Is such a sweet nickname????? Also if the post I saw about Odysseus family history with wolves is true thennnn my HEART ♡♡♡ (also explains the "the pack of wolves is swimming with the sharks now) but they use it such a taunting way, belittling him, gods i wanna fight them too

"Bite, little wolf, bite, let's see how you take this" they are pushing him, just wanting to see what happens when they bother him one to many times, when you strike an animal and wait for it to lash out at you, but instead of taking it seriously for the terror that you cause, you laugh about it because you know its not a real thread to you I HATE THEM (BUT THE GRIT IN ONE OF THE SUITORS VOCALS IM DYING FOR, ALSO ANTINOUS VOICE!!! PERIMEDES!!! AAAH) "lets see how you take this" MAKES ME FERAL dont SAY THAT

"Strike, little wolf, strike, wanna be a man?Then fight, little wolf, fight, little wolf, fight" They WANT him to lash out so badly, they want to see what happens, they see him as a kid, who doesnt belong into the palace, he is the legitimate heir, but he cant take the throne without acckowledging that his father wont come back, but if they do that, his mother has no more excuses to keep off the suitors, also I HATE how they use the "man up" argument, FUCK YOU LEAVE MY BOY ALONE

"You've made your worst mistake here, might be your last one too" AH, BITCH, anyway, so I suppose up until now Telemachus just tried to avoid the suitors at any cost, dont make them upset, stay out of their way, grit your teeth and wait, because your father will be back soon...right? Right?? Greek rules of hospitality and all; they cant send them away, but theyre taking in more space and theyre pushing Telemachus into a corner. But Antinous insulted his mother, he tried to get him to open up her room, that was the first time he talked back, prepared to fight, be like his father, being legendary, even though he has no clue what hes doing; and the suitors know that, they probably saw him grow up, and belittled him almost all his life, they know just how much he is not in any position of power and strength, but he dared to talk back, and that little bit of courtesy they had to leave him alone is gone, Antinous is pissed and he wants to get rid of Telemachus anyway, hes just in his way, so he'll take him down, after having some fun first, FUCK HIM, hes such a bastard

"You'll have run out of bones to break when you and I are through" this dude didnt even need poseidon to tell him that ruthlessness is mercy to become the monster rawr rawr rawr, hes just brutal and ruthless and merciless and hes having FUN

"I'll teach you all the lessons your daddy never could" OUCH? YOU ARE NOT IN ANY ANY ANY ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE A FATHER REPLACEMENT FOR HIM SO FUCK OFF ANTINOUS LEAVE ODYS BOY ALONE

"This cruel world doesn't give out presents just for being good", fuck you Antinous GREET THE WORLD WITH OPEN ARMS NOT KNIVES

[So Fight, little wolf, fight; Wanna entertain me Bite, little wolf, bite Let's see how you take this Strike, little wolf, strike Wanna be a man? Then fight, little wolf, fight, little wolf, fight] I love the chorus, OBSSESED WITH THE GRIT OF THE ENSAMBLE AH

The TRANSITION INTO THAT NEXT PART IS SO SMOOTH AND GOOD AND CHILLS AND AAAH

"Or die, little wolf, die" THEYRE SO RUTHLESS, THEY WOULD KILL HIM THEY WANT TO KILL HIM THEY AAAAAH BASTARDS (It sounds so good tho) They want to entertain themselves but they dont fuck around, they arent holding back, they dont care if he dies, they'd actually be delighted, fuck them

"Don't you know it's fight or Fly, little wolf, fly" fight or fly, response, he always was doign the fleeing but now this ONE time he choose fight, and they'll make him pay for it to teach him their lesson, he cant back out anymore

"All because you had to, try, little wolf try" all because he dared to step up for his mom bastards

"Run away before you, die, little wolf, die, little wolf, die" i might be contradicting myself in the things im said before, but they want him to run away, scared, like an animal they can hunt for prey, because if he doesnt; they'll fight him and ofc he has no chance against them, hes just a "kid", but that wont stop them from killing him

The music drop into Athenas quick thought Aaaahh

"Need some help?" LES GOOOOOO ATHENA TO THE RESUCE

"What's going on here?" Valid bb, Id be confused too ♡

"Is your plan to stand around? Cause I suggest you fight back" a little sarcasm huh, well at least you got humor >:)

"I don't know how" DO YOU HEAR HOW SCARED HE IS, HES FACING ANTINOUS AKD THE OTHER SUITORS AND THEY JUST KEPT ATTACKING HIM AND HE NEVER GOT THE TRAINING HE DESERVED TO FIGHT BACK aaaaaaah

"Uppercut him, now" u goooooo

(Neat soutscape, here fr)

"Woah, how did I do that? Is time now moving slow?" Again valid, and adorable, u go ! U punched him! You can fight back :D the vocal performance IS SO GOOD

"No, I just made your thoughts quick" ♡ Good mentor

"Woah, that is so sick" the rhyming here its so cuteeeeeeee, hes so exciteddddd HES LIKE ODYSSEUS WHEN THEY FIRST STARTED AAAH

"Alright now, let's try this again" ATHENA MENTOR LETS GOOO

"I've no respect for bullies, Those who impose their will, I've seen plenty enough to truly understand this kind of filth"...Zeus? (Also her vocalllsss aaah)

"Let's teach this dog a lesson In front of all his kind" her calling Antinous and the other suitors dogs that need to be taught a lesson because theyre acting up....(so much more harmless than a wolf) aaaah

"One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined" 🥹😭🥹😭🥹

The INSTRUMENTAL RIFF AAH

"Fight, little wolf, fight" SHES ENCOURAGING HIM AND GUIDING HIS ACTIONS NOW AAAH

also AM I HEARI G THIS RIGHT? DOES TELEMACHUS HAVE ODYS INSTRUMENTALS OCCATIONALLY??? PLS??? PLS???

"Show them that you've got some Bite, little wolf, bite" THE LYRICAL GENIUS turning it into encouraging from "bite little wolf" to "show them that you got some bite" as the phrase ITS SO GOOD AAAAAH

'Take advantage now and Strike, little wolf, strike" again guiding his actions!!!! So proudd, Ody would be grateful to her

"Don't go down without a Fight, little wolf, fight, little wolf" dont down without a fight YES

"Get up and fight" Vocal performance. Stunning AH

[Fight, little wolf, fight, Wanna entertain us? (Oh) Bite, little wolf, bite Let's see how you take this (Strike!) Strike, little wolf, strike Wanna be a man? Then (Oh) Fight, little wolf (Fight) (Fight, little wolf) (Fight)] THIS WHOLE SECTION IS SO GOOOOOD ATHENAS VOCAL PERFORMANCE AGAIN IS OUTSTANDING BEAUTIFUL POWERFULL ENCOURAGING the way she reinterpreates the suitors taunting words into encouragement IS SO GOOD I CANT EVEN AAAHHH

...and still Telemachus loses the fight

"Ooh, maybe I pushed you a bit too hard" Athena understanding the full scope of human fragility since never (but shes trying, i give her that)

"Ow" (hat pats) u did good kid, im proud of you

"Go back and cry in your corner" FUCK YOU ANTINOUS, im sure hes so upset that telemachus even dared to fight back, and is just planning his next steps

"Make sure your mother hears" ....fuck you, Antinous, he sends him back to Penelope as a warning "look what we did to your son, we can do worse, its our generosity that we sent him back at all, be grateful, or else we'll do the same to you" the vocal performance thooo

"If she won't choose a man to adorn her We'll bring blood and tears" ruthlessness.....i do wonder what would happen if she had choosen, the other 107 suitors, they seem to be respecting her having the right to choose (probably legal reasons) but eben if she would choose one, what would the others do? Are they just waiting to beat up each other as soon as she'd pick one? Or would they work together? but also MF STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRL DONT U DARE HURT HER OR TELEMACHUS >:) >:) May your blood cover the palace red

THE DROP AGAIN followed to athenas thing, AH THE INSTRUMENTALS ARE SO GOOD

----> telemachus goes back to his room to his balcony, Athena is still at his side

"Tell me, Athena, why you came to my aid" HE DOESNT KNOW HE DOESNT KNOW AAAAAAAH also his vocals ♡♡♡♡♡ HE SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE YOUNG ODYSSEUS TOO?? AAAH

[queensilber]

Supernatural: Witch‘s Canyon

Posting everything in this book that i think you need to know, lets go!

Summary:

Okay, so, the boys head to the Grand Canyon to solve a case of a fourty-year murder cycle. The spirits of variouse humans and animals alike attack the locals and they need to find out why and how to stop it.

It is set somewhere in Season two.

My opinion:

This was so much fun. Like, it was really like watching an episode, just a lot longer and with the magic ability to see into Sam and Deans (and a bunch of other characters) heads.

It also gave a little bit of a fanfiction vibe, just with the addidtion that everything is cannon and that all the random little facts and quotes are a real thing (i‘ll list those in a second)

And also there were flashbacks of their childhood??? That made me cry??? I hated john winchester before, but now even more so. (More about the flashbacks below too)

So yea, it was definetly worth it and i cant wait to read the others!!

Songs:

This is the music Sam and Dean listened to during the course of the book (some locals listened to music too, but i did not list those)

- „paranoid“ by Black Sabbath

- „turn the page“ by Bob Seger

- unspecified tape by Bad Company

Flashbacks:

There are two flashbacks to Sam and Dean‘s Childhood:

- the first one is Dean Remembering a time when John made him and Sam run through an obstacle course at age twelve and eight. Dean had to shoot a gun during it, Sam just had to point and yell „Bang!“.

In the process of that Sam got injured and cried and John yelled at him to keep going and that he was doing poorly. Dean comforted his brother and encouraged him, leading to sam actually making it. Sam did it and Dean cheered, but john kept yelling at them to keep going to the next obstacle.

- the second one was from when Dean was fourteen and Sam was ten. Their Dad gave them backbags and said what was in them could last them fir four days and they all went on a hike together.

In the middle of nowhere john then saud that they should not trust anyone on what they are told and left them alone, telling them that they should find their way (at very least two days of walk) back themsleves and they shouldnt have relied on him so much and he just… left.

When they checked their backbags they found that most in it was useless and they were also filled with rocks to make it seem like it was more than it was.

Thats so fucked up, like

Those are children. And the worst part, when Dean rememvers this he thinks of it almost positively because it taught him a valuable lesson. I cant even begin to describe how my heart hurt for them.

Random facts:

Here are some facts from the book, i do t know anymor if those are mentioned in the show too, but it hardly matters, i think:

- Sam outgrew Dean at the age of 16

- Dean felt gutity over Jessicas death and thought that it was a „more solid basis“ of guilt than Sam had on the matter

- Sam can differentiate between uniforms of different wars in history just by a look

- Dean hates Rats. A lot.

Quotes:

Some quotes from the book:

John Winchester hunted monsters, ghosts, demons — the creatures most people only believed in deep down in their 3:00 am hearts, abd that they laughted off when the sun was bright and their spirits high.

It was a habit Dean had picked up from Dad — reffering to what they did as a „job“. To Sam it was nore of a Mission, even a calling.

„Sammy really likes cops,“ Dean said. „If he didnt have any talents he might have become one“

Sometimes he thought Dean wouldnt mind dying if he could go out in a blaze of glory, as the saying went. In moments of fairness, Sam knew that wasnt true. Dean didnt care about the glory; he cared about making a difference.

„I‘m coming around to the point, Sam.“ „He‘s Dean,“ Sam corrected. „I‘m Sam“. „Sorry, For some reason, you just look more like a Dean to me“

Gilmore Girls reference?

„You tried to shoot my brother“ Dean said.

Sam belived in a highter power, Dean didnt. Sam didnt have any special knowledge that Dean lacked, handt seen or heard or met God.

Lol, not yet.

Dean had been a kid, hadnt ever had a chance to become anything other than what Dad had made of him. That, finally, was the gulf between them — the canyon that could never be bridged.

Dean was an amazing guy, Sam knew, with skills and abilities most people would never imagine, and smarts Dean himself wouldnt credit, even though he relied on them all the time. And yet, at times like this, he was so humble, so unassuming, that he seemed almost unaware of the importance if his iwn contributions. At other times, of course, that humility vanished. Knowing and accepting both Deans, he guessed, was what being brothers was all about. Maybe I wouldnt want to be Dean, he thought, but i‘m sure glad I have him araound.

STOP MAKING MY CRY WTH

So anyways, that book sure was an experiance and i cant wait for the next one! I‘ll post a review of that as well and will update that post with a link to it one i‘m done!

Xoxo! <3

Next>

[lolotheparagon]

Sofia the First Season 4 in a Nutshell

Oh boy... Season 4. The one with the Wicked Nine story arc.

Day of the Sorcerers - 1/10

For some inexplicable reason, the writers wanted to redeem Cedric and finish off his story arc of being a villain, DESPITE 3 ENTIRE SEASONS OF HIM CHANGING PASSIVELY OVER TIME AND BECOMING A GOOD GUY AND A GOOD TEACHER TO SOFIA AND THE CHILDREN, BUT NOPE WE GOTTA HASTILY CONCLUDE THIS CHARACTER ARC. SO LETS HAVE HIM TAKE OVER THE KINGDOM AND ACTUALLY NEARLY SUCCEED ALL BECAUSE THE BILLY WEST WIZARD AND A BIRD PERSUADED HIM WITH VERY LITTLE CONVICTION. Its fucking hilarious cos at the third act, all it took to get Cedric to stop usurping the throne was Sofia giving him a glare like a child angry at her dad for not picking her up from soccer practice. And despite nearly taking over the kingdom, Cedric gets a second chance thanks to Sofia and her mum and everything just goes back like nothing happened. WOW ITS ALMOST LIKE THIS WHOLE EPISODE WAS COMPLETELY FUCKING POINTLESS.

The Secret Library: Tale of the Eternal Torch - 2/10

Remember, kids. If you have a history with invaders constantly trying to take over your home at every opportunity, befriend them! Its always good to share your land, even though its your land by right! Thank god we're dealing with dragons here not people, otherwise this wouldve been REALLY FUCKED UP. I mean this is fucked up, but still.

The Crown of Blossoms - 9/10

Finally, an episode that didnt make me wanna gouge my eyes out! A wonderful lesson about not using other people's valuable treasures for a festival and you should rightfully give it back to them. Even the boring Clover being greedy sideplot doesnt bother me.

Pin the Blame on the Genie - 0/10

Oh great, another episode about the Culturally Fucked Up Genie Police and the kid genie getting needlessly harassed and villified by the public all because of one racist wizard's opinions. Btw its established that the Genie Patrol have prison cells for misbehaving genies, WHILST THEYRE IN THEIR LAMPS. So its a prison within a prison. WTF?!

The Mystic Isles - -5/10

So, this is the famous Mystic Isles special...Honestly, for a world that's supposed to be where all magic originates, this is pretty dull. Like isn't the world of Sofia the First already magical as fuck? There are magical creatures everywhere in Enchancia, what makes this place so special? Also I really dont like the alicorn Skye, his oldtime medieval mannerisms get older after 5 minutes and it really feels like the show one-upped poor Minimus, since he was Sofia's first flying horse. Oh yeah and Sofia wants to be part of the Crystal Justice League or some shit, cos we need SOMETHING for our main character to do!

The Mystic Isles: The Princess and the Protector - 4/10

A tough fairy named Chrysta becomes Sofia's mentor into becoming a glorifed cop for the EverRealm and because she has this preconception of Sofia being this spoilt snob because she's a princess, Chrysta proceeds to not teach her anything and snark at Sofia throughout the majority of the episode. In any other series, this would be hilarious but here, I just feel sorry for poor Sof. I really grew to like Chrysta later on but this was NOT a good first impression.

The Royal Dragon - 6/10

Crackle and Sofia in Spyro form joins a dragon summit and the former fight with her egocentric rival in order to get people's attention cos her rival always steals people away from her before she can even make friends. Ngl I was expected to hate this episode but it was worth it to see that Crackle's rival is just as insecure as she is and made up half her boasting was made up so people would be friends with her. Also Sir KMR the Knight appears again to play schoolyard pranks on a bunch of dragons cos he's a petty bitch lol

The Mystic Isles: The Mare of the Mist - 6/10

Minimus is understandably pissed off that Sofia arrived with a brand new alicorn TM as her new best friend and tries to string along both of them on her new mission to find this mystery horse for a test. I dreaded this episode was gonna go with Sofia gaslighting poor Minimus into thinking Skye is the better companion and he should deal with it. But No. Sofia couldnt even finish her test cos the mystery horse she was looking for chastises her for not considering Minimus' feelings and favouring Skye over him. I like that, it really puts Sofia in a humbling position and helps her realise how important Minimus is to her.

Through the Looking Back Glass - 9/10

Its a good Cedric episode so its already a step up and we get to see Calista again, which is always fun. We find out the actual reason why Cedric has had this reputation from everyone, especially his sister Cordelia, that he was this bungler who would never amount to anything, and its revealed to be a completely accident which Cordelia forgives him for and apologises for all the teasing and petty rivalry she had with him over the years. Its a very sweet victory for Cedric and I honestly wish THIS was the final episode of his character arc than Day of Sorcerors cos it really shows how much he's improved as a person since Season 1 and that he doesnt need to take over the kingdom to prove his worth. Side note: I love how Sofia and Calista team up to clear Cedric's name and its cute to see Sofia act like a big sister to Calista.

Princess Jade - 8/10

Wasn't expecting a non character like Jade to get her own spotlight episode but here we are and its really sweet! I love how Jade was originally excited to go to Royal Prep to be with her bestie Sofia when they found out Jade's a descendant of royalty but quickly grows to hate it when she realises she'll never see Ruby or any of her village friends that much anymore, her entire life is changed upon this revelation...AND THEN WE GET A FUNNY AS HELL SIDEPLOT WITH AMBER BECOMING A MASTER ARCHITECT. Why wasnt this an entire episode alone about Amber being into architecture, that is wicked cool?!

Ivy's True Colors - 0/10

Ooo, the villain Princess Ivy's getting a redemption? Skip

Too Cute to Spook - 10/10

And we now return to our scheduled programming of serotonin-filled spookiness cos this time Sofia, Lucy and her toxic witch friends are doing trick or treating and Calista wants to join in but they dont want her to join cos she's too adorable to be scary and they're worried she'll "cramp their style." But Calista just wants to have friends and make Sofia happy. Man, I miss when Sofia the First episodes were like this.

Pirated Away - 8/10

After crashing into a pirate ship by accident, Miranda, Sofia and Amber have to help a bunch of geographically challenged pirates find a golden figurehead so Sofia and the family can see a meteor shower along the way. We get to see Miranda being a bad ass mum, Amber learning to respect her mother's word and have a heart to heart talk with her and a lesson about just fucking listening to people.

The Mystic Isles: The Falcon's Eye - 5/10

Oh goody, another Mystic Isles episode and this time, Sofia has to search for the Wicked Nine, a bunch of magical items belonging to the greatest Disney villains of the past to stop the villain from the Mystic Isles special, Prisma from gaining all their powers. Cos apparently Sofia the First really needed a daedric artifact storyline.

The Mystic Isles: The Great Pretender - 4/10

The Mystic Isles: A Very Mystic Wassalia - 7/10

Okay, the fact Chrysta has spent the whole of Christmas with Sofia doing protector tasks in order to distract herself from her incredibly lonely life cos she has no family or friends to spend the holiday is truly sad. I really felt for her when Sofia rounds up everyone in the Mystic Isles for a Christmas party. Just...awwww.

The Birthday Wish - 10/10

Sofia has a shit birthday so she wishes for a redo of her birthday and she gets it...40 times over. Yknow that segment with Huey, Dewey and Louie in Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas? Its basically that but with Sofia slowly going insane. The biggest highlight is definitely Sofia getting more exasperated and pissed off with each repeat. Its so rare to see Sofia mad or even angry cos Sofia's a very grounded kid who's got a big heart so seeing her being pushed to the limit is hilarious. And as always, there's a good lesson about looking on the bright side of things, which is especially true since Sofia still had a pretty good party to begin with, despite how chaotic things got.

In Cedric We Trust - 8/10

I feel like this whole episode was an apology for Day of Sorcerors cos this ep tries to address the fact Cedric nearly usurped the throne a few episodes ago and Roland's not happy about that. But unlike a lot of kids shows where the villains make shoddy attempts to atone for their actions and the characters just immediately forgive them without any repercussions, Cedric is nowhere near the levels of vile monster levels of Starlight Glimmer or Catra so im a lot more on board with Cedric's redemption cos he's got a far better track record of being a good person than any 2010s redeemed villain combined. Also Cedric earnestly trying to restore Roland's trust not just to get everyone to trust him again, but also because the two shared a friendship together when they were children is very sweet. I kinda wish that was explored a lot more in the show earlier. I wouldve loved more Roland and Cedric bonding.

The Mystic Isles: A Hero For The Hoodwinks - 5/10

Clover wants to be a hero like Sofia so he pretends to be one after hitching a ride to the Mystic Isles and manages to garner a fanbase of flying hedgehogs. Trust me, its not as exciting as it sounds.

The Mystic Isles: Undercover Fairies - -5/10

Another boring Chrysta episode, this time its about Chrysta having a bad experience with other fairies cos they all thought she was too rough and tough and not delicate enough to be a fairy. I mean, good for Chrysta to embrace her femininity but I really dont care at this point.

A Royal Wedding - 10/10

Aunt Tilly's wedding? Okay sure, but what if there was a main plot where its revealed Amber is actually the heir to the throne, not James, causing him to have an identity crisis and immediately tries to humilate Amber in front of the whole reception but nothngs working cos James still thinks Amber is her season 1 self, not her current self who's mastering all her royal duties like a pro and not caring about getting her dress dirty. So he accidentally summons a sea monster, which causes havoc at the wedding and can only be calmed with the promise of cake. So Amber, Sofia and James work together to stop said sea monster and the twins reconcile, James makes up for his actions and Amber dubs her brother First Knight. A heartwarming episode with a dash of crazy shenanigans thrown in. Finally, James gets a good story right before the show finishes.

The Royal School Fair - 3/10

Its nearly the end of school for Sofia and the gang but the former doesnt know what school she wants to go to after finishing Royal Prep, so everyone tries to get her to join their personal fave school rather than one of them sitting down with her and actually working it through with her. Oh and for the cherry on top, Amber signs Sofia up to join a school WITHOUT HER CONSENT and despite being called out for it, Sofia decides she wants to go there anyway. OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. WRITERS, YOU HAVE ONE JOB, DONT TEACH KIDS TO BE COMPLACENT WITH PEOPLE'S BAD BEHAVIOUR.

The Lost Pyramid - 4/10

Sofia and the gang are exploring the inside of a pyramid, where they have to rely on different senses other than their eyes to solve the pyamid's riddles? Nice! A blind princess who's also an archaeologist?? THAT IS SO FUCKING METAL I LOVE THAT AND OH MY GOD, HILDEGARDE. GO AWAY!

Return To Merroway Cove - 2/10

"Remember, kids. If your parents are infantilising you and don't think you're capable of handling more difficult tasks, prove them right! That'll show 'em! Wait..."

The Elf Situation - 8/10

Sofia encourages James and Amber that just because a peace summit is looming over them and that they're trying to prepare being future monarchs with newfound responsibilities, doesnt mean WE CANT HAVE FUN. And she's right! You guys are in your early teens, enjoy life while you can before the ! Btw i love how 3 kids managed to solve a years-long rivalry with two elf clan leaders in one afternoon when the king took years to get them to reconcile but to no avail lmao. Especially when the two elf leaders in question were mostly petty squabbling and got along the moment someone suggested to do something fun. See, Sofia's always right!

Forever Royal - -6/10

The sheer mood whiplash from an absolutely wholesome first act that wouldve been a great bookend to the series with Sofia graduating Royal Prep, Amber training to be queen, James becoming a full-fledged knight in training and everyone in Enchancia is all coming together to celebrate how much our main character has grown over the couple of years...only to spend the last two acts of the special hastily wrapping up the entire Wicked Nine story arc with a brand new villain instead of the one we've been building up over and the season, complete with higher stakes, a world-ending threat and ending with Sofia defeating said villain like a Kingdom Hearts cutscene spiritually reminds me of this

CONCLUSION

Oh boy this was a difficult season to get through. S3 had a weird story arc with the Secret Library, but at least that wasnt NEARLY as intrusive as the Wicked Nine arc, where it clearly felt like Craig Gerber tried to crowbar it into the season, especially for how out of place the usual episodes are. Craig said in one of his podcasts that the Wicked Nine was meant to be a serialised story arc for the whole season but Disney shot him down, saying that it'll be too complicated for a pre-school show. And honestly, I fully get behind Disney on that. But Craig had enough creative power to jam that shit in so we're stuck with a boring ass daedric artifact plotline that meanders until the finale, clogging up what couldve been a decent season to wrap up the series.

Still, apart from that awful last season, I really recommend Sofia the First. It's such a cute, fun show that has its problems and defnitely isnt for everyone as its very straightforward in its themes. But if you like musical numbers, silly characters and cute saccharine stuff like me, you'll like this show just fine.

Peace out, bitches

[magnoliamyrrh]

you know i actually think this is one of the worst fucking parts of csa and incest. i despise admitting it, i absolutely dispise it but theres still times when i miss him. not most times. but theres times. theres still times. theres times when i wish i could pretend all the shit just didn't happen. i tried. there were times when i tired. talking to him was only more red flags. but i missed talking to him. were both insane and hes more insane than me but growing up sometimes i felt like maybe because of that at least we understood each other. i do understand him better than anyone else. for the most part he doesnt understand me anymore. but it scares me how well he does at times. three summers ago when i had a mental breakdown i picked up the phone and called him for the first time in years crying like some foolish child wanting her daddys comfort. clearly, i hadnt learned my lesson well enough. sometimes i still want to. foolish and short cited. it was not always bad and that is what makes it hard. if it was it would be easier. i still remember. he would take me to his architecture studio. he taught me how to make mosaics. hed let me help him on his projects, out on the worksite id be measuring and cutting and putting up mozaics. id stay up with his wife at night and make moonstone lamps. he made me sets of moonstone jewerly. i still have them. he made me jewerly and toys out of leather, delicately painted and cut. he taught me how to paint. he taught me how to draw some things. hed stay with me and drew all the things i wanted him too, dragons and portraits of my lps and whatever pokemon i was obsessed with. i still have them. they still smell like him. my artstyle still has his style within it, spirals and swirls so distinctive, a certain surrealism and abstraction, a obsession with gold. down south we would go digging through the dacian ruins in dobrogea, come back with old pieces of ancient pots and pans. he knew history, much of it. he knew theology. he knew anthropology. he still does. when i was little he would buy me these paleontology sets i was obsessed with, youd have to dig out little plastic dinosaur bones, wed spend hours by the black sea as i dug through them. i always wanted to be a paleontologist. is that why i do anthropology now? is that why a fascination and longing for the ancient is within me? he would take me to church. we spend new years in a monestary, sung verses echoing in its small wooden, painted frame. we spend many nights in them. the smell of frankensece in the air. i still burn it. hes still all over me. hes still in my blood. blood of my blood, he is my blood. lately when i look in the mirror i dont see him anymore, but i still know hes there. i look like his mother. i have his eyes and his hair, but lighter. i have the same bad teeth and the same cigarette obsession and my laugh sometimes cracks like his. he was sick. he is sick. he had to give me his sickness because he couldnt carry it alone. unfair. but i still feel responsible for him. i still miss him. i still do. i still remember the reasons i miss him. i missed him. i wanted him to be around more there were times as a child when id cry and think, at least he woukd understand. i hated him. and never wanted to be around him again. and yet i still loved him. what a nightmare. i wish i didnt remember anything at all

[princesssmars]

ok building off that little thing i just said about what hobbies monet would have (also creds to @m0tel6mxzzy for the fashion/art history idea 👉🏾💗👈🏾)

monet who's mom forced her to do something else during her free time, tired of her name only being attached to drama caused by her and gossip girl. she took a design class from elementary to middle school but dropped it when her mom forced her to focus more on practical studies, which led to her deciding to focus more on her and juliens social standing in school. its the perfect choice, her mom says, something to teach her discipline and keep her in line. she thinks of asking why her mother doesnt do that but keeps her mouth shut.

she arrives at her first lesson with her purse, some materials, and her phone, furiously texting luna about how pissed off she is. here she at a fashion lesson while luna is hanging out with julien and obviously siding more with the calloway daughter over her, whos supported her through nealry everything but. whatever. shes so into her head she doesnt notice the girl walking in her direction, knocking into each other shoulders.

shes about to curse whoever just bumped into her the fuck out until she makes eye contact and sees that its you, the girl she would invite over for sleepovers when she was younger to fawn over the latest fashion issue and spend hours designing your own clothes, with shared dreams of becoming the next big names in fashion history.

of course these memories also make her remember how she completely cut you off when she stoped taking design lessons, taking her mothers words completely literally and cutting art history out of her agenda. which also meant cutting out you.

seeing your face again is conflicting for her in all the best ways, and right then she makes it her goal to not only reconnect to her passion for clothing but to reconnect with you and become your friend again.

the latter is...significantly harder than the first. your no bullshit attitude that granted she adored when she was younger has remained, and she cant believe you didnt try to bite her damn head off when you first saw each other again after years. but thd de haan girl is nothing if not persistent, so she tries everything in the book. a bouquet of (what she hopes are still) your favorite flowers to your house, ordering you some snacks and giving it to you when the lessons start, hell even giving you some of her excess fabrics that are definitely not easy to come by.

after about three weeks you seem to see that shes being genuine and start warming up to her, even exchanging socials and talking more outside of lessons.

at your first sleepover in years you both lie on her bed staring at her intricate ceiling when she spills her feelings - about her mom, her friends, about her work, about you. about how most of the time she feels confident in herself and her abilities because shes fucking monet de haan and she knows shes got the x factor. but she has doubts, mostly brought on by her mom and "friends". like all shes meant to be is someones sidekick. to help somebody else be great while she watches from the sidelines.

but when she turns her head to look at you during the end of her rant al she can see is the person she cares the most about looking at her in a way the nearly makes her cry. and she knows then that with you she has finally found someone who she can just trust and be with wholeheartedly and not have to worry about anything at all.

and that maybe her luck is finally turning around.

.

.

.

this took me way too long but i had to get it out.

[chaos-family-scp-au]

hi :]

im bored and dont feel like writing anything so heres more incorrect quotes :D

----------

lia: maybe i should be sacrificed. satanically. 

lyon: what?

----------

graves: thank you for agreeing to see me

melchor: i didnt. you just walked in and started talking

graves: look, i dont have time for a history lesson

----------

beta: what if you came home one day and everyone was, like, quietly reading

sal: i would be suspicious

----------

richard: whats wrong ryans? getting tired?

lyon, who hasnt slept in 2 days: i dont get tired, i get results

----------

lia: with all due respect, have you lost your mind?

bright: thats with all due respect??

a new staff member: i think dr. melchor is in trouble

----------

graves: alright. struggling to give a fuck, if im honest

----------

green: i hate when the 05 send back a “?” after reading my reports

green: like, dude, i dont know what was going on either

----------

ora: why are we laying on the ground? 

green: you got knocked out so i laid down next to you so people would think we were just chilling

----------

takeover: mochi tried to sell me on eBay for five dollars

bright: oh my goodness, thats horrible. what did you do?

takeover: i told them i could sell myself, im worth at least ten

----------

mochi: before you say anything, just know that it wasnt my idea

takeover: or mine

ash: or mine! i even tried to put a stop to it

graves: i literally caught you all red handed as you conversed and fled the scene

----------

richard: you may not know this, but i am a flawed person 

the 05: we knew that

----------

lyon, on the phone: i just got back, where are you guys?

lia: we’re at the hospital 

lyon: what!? why?? what happened??

lia: bright swallowed a watermelon seed

lyon: so?? its not like its going to grow a watermelon in his stomach or something

lia:

lia: we’ll be back in ten minutes

----------

green, talking about the staff: why do they drink water? 

ora: cause they cant eat water, duh

----------

kaylen: adulthood is like looking both ways efore crossing a street and getting hit by an airplane

----------

melchor: i hope youre not planning on doing anything stupid

bright: i hope youre not hoping too hard

----------

bright: hi im melchor’s emergency contact

lyon: oh, are you here to visit him?

bright: im here to be removed as his emergency contact

----------

*that one time they made the infirmary into a restaurant*

beta: ill have the chef’s salad

sal: beta, thats rude, order your own

----------

laureate: ugh, sometimes i just want to stab someone, you know?

bloodtree: i get it

laureate: i knew you would!!

----------

*during large-scale breach*

graves: can they be stopped?

lia: short answer? no

graves: whats the long answer?

lia: definitely not

----------

*texting* 

green: ora has a flamethrower

graves: what??

green: you should probably get here soon

----------

lyon: i have called you all to this meeting because some of you dont get along

lia: bright and i are the only ones you called here

----------

laureate: mama didnt raise no fool

*a few moments later*

laureate: maybe mama did raise a fool

----------

ora: i have a plan

green: i have the hospital on speed dial

----------

kaylen: *takes a long swig from a flask* 

bright: i thought we werent allowed to drink?

kaylen, hoarsely: this is flour

----------

melchor: what are you two doing?

laureate, laying on the floor: im slowly and painfully suffering during my stupid, miserable existence

bloodtree, munching on potato chips: im supervising!!

----------

ash: do not fear death, fear the state you will die in

takeover, in a horrified whisper: texas

----------

graves: i hope you have a good explanation for this

ora: i actually have three. Pick your favourite.

----------

green: i forgot the name for that one thing, but i cant ask ora or maxx, they will never let me live it down

parker: i can help

green: its that hard cube made out of frozen water

parker:

parker: crunch water

----------

sal: are you absolutely positive this isnt dangerous?

lia: im 95% sure, but i failed 4th grade math, so

----------

@unlawful-lawyers-chaos @when-are-you-coming-back-steve @manedwolves-adorable @little-chaos-bitch @countdown-til-sanders-take-over @parker-shut-up @psychedelicships-chaos @hihello-what-is-chaos-doing @orange-side-please-appear

[whirlybirdwhat]

deuce headcanons because i can and you can’t physically stop me

gay as fuck and his gay awakening was ace

okay now that we have canon shit established onto the rest

He keeps a copy of Brag Men on him at All times

He has no formal training in any weapon so he’s mostly hand to hand but as the spades journey he slowly gains proficiency in the rapier and pistols.

His mask sometimes slips off but he doesn’t always notice so crew members will either gently put it back in place for him (Ace) or slap at his face to make him put it back on (everyone else)

he’s a former rich boy and is constantly like “how much can a banana cost? Two hundred belli?” and Ace, who has never paid for anything in his life, is like sounds legit, while Mihar takes them both and teaches them about Real Money Adult Pirates Deal With, which means Deuce deals with Ace’s wallet from here on out.

Deuce is fantastic at gambling until the very last moment where he always does the worst thing possible. He blames Ace and his naming abilities, but eventually learns to team up with Ace, who only gets lucky at the end, and destroy everyone else.

Skull has a copy of Brag Men. Deuce talks with him about it sometimes.

Theres only Two People who Deuce respects on this ship and its Ace and Kotatsu who don’t fucking laugh at his writing. Banshee’s okay but she criticizes his metaphors.

Deuce runs very cold and therefore is an Ace magnet because Ace just wants to 1) get rid of nightmares and 2) not be smokin hot for once.

Skull, Deuce, and Mihar have a brain cell meeting once a week. Its with alcohol infused haki and sad expressions of having only 3 brain cells on the crew.

Deuce steals Saber’s cowboy hat so he and ace match

Deuce has two freckles under his left eye, covered by the mask. 

He has the worst bed head in the history of the world and will chuck random objects at anyone who mentions it

Ace came up with thhe Spades Pirates while Deuce came up with the Spadille for the ship name.

Former Society Man Deuce knows how to do the waltz and teaches Ace.

Despite his writing, he is the best at campfire stores when the crew comes to a deserted island.

All of Deuce and Ace’s heart to heart conversations happen at Sunset just as when they first talked post Devil Fruit Eating.

He didn’t want to be the Spades doctor. He was done with medical shit, he was a pirate writer now, not some nurse, but after the third time Ace nearly bled out due to his own stupidity Deuce started grabbing medical books at the islands they visited.

Deuce buys books at every island they visit, and helps Mihar (SOMETIMES) with his lessons - usually Aggie helps, but Aggie’s a bit scary for kids and kids like his mask so! Deuce helps it is.

Benn Beckman is Deuce’s favorite person in the entire world because he is the only one who knows how to deal With Stupid Stupid Captains (Who you may be a bit in love with.) 

Deuce leads the charge to get Ace back with the WB’s kidnap him and keeps on trying to get to Ace before finally running into him and making sure he’s okay.

The Rose is Deuce’s calling card (see his design, theres a rose on his pants or something like it) and it became so because he put a rose in Ace’s hair one day and had to back track because he couldn’t tell Ace he gave him the rose or ace would have feelings.

Deuce is the only Spade who knows about Ace’s dad and he always intervenes when the Spades talk about Roger.

I can’t remember if Ace had his tattoo before he set sail but if not, Deuce got a tat with him, a spade on his right shoulder, wreathed in fire. Ace cried.

Deuce writes back to his family only once and attached is his bounty. They write back, but the letter never reaches Deuce. 

Deuce is a crappy swimmer but still tries to get Ace out of the water. He fails. Cornelia usally does it, cause She’s Cool Like That.

Deuce hides away on the Spadille sometimes to just read some Brag Men when everything gets too much. 

For his birthday, the crew gets him a visual denden so he can take pictures of the places he goes to write about later. he would be touched if they also didnt smash his face into the cake.

His favorite food is pineapples. 

He is the only other person brave enough to go on Striker with Ace because he helped built it.

Deuce helps keep the Spadille together until they get a shipwright. 

The crew seems to have personal or paired cabins on the spadille so Deuce bunks with Ace. 

He hates his offical epitheth and wished he got a cool name like Fire Fist Ace. 

deuce dies at marineford 

Post-marineford, Deuce tries to track down the mera mera no mi so he can have it, like he would have if he had taken the first bite. instead, he finds sabo and they cry together.

Deuce is terrified of chickens which is revealed when Ace thinks its a great idea to bring chickens onto the spadille for an endless supply of eggs. Its horrible. Deuce cries. 

more to be added later lmao i love this man and his crush

[acescreations]

Roleplay Transcript (pt. 1)

So this is an old roleplay I got permission from my RP partner to post to my writing blog. I guess revisiting this is kind of a birthday gift to myself and also an apology gift to all of you guys for not writing for shit.

Warnings: Fighting, swearing, violence, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, homophobia, panic attacks

Ship(s): Platonic Analogical

Word Count: 12,553

When Logan went to school on his first day of junior year, he was filled with a strange sense of pride. Students shot glances at him, seemingly worried that Logan would for some reason pick a fight with them, which he would only really do if they were being a jerk and deserved it. Teachers read his name off the attendance list with a hopeless tone upon realizing they had Logan, before looking up with a disappointed resignation when they saw Logan's patch of electric blue hair. Logan had built up a reputation of being strong, of being tough. Just about every kid in school knew about him, whether they be the bullies he fought, the kids he was defending from the bullies, or just the people who saw the fights he was in.

Virgil’s first day at Mindset High was pretty scary. He didnt make friends easily, and he felt like everyone was judging him. He wore a soft lavender hoodie and royal purple sweat pants. Everyone seemed scared of this guy called Logan. I mean, he seemed so grumpy.. He sighed, sitting next to Logan.

Logan blinked in surprise as he watched another student sit down next to him. Most people tried to avoid him as much as possible, so he usually sat alone during class. Even when there were only enough desks for each student in the classroom, people usually pulled their desk a distance away after even the slightest glance from Logan. He guessed this kid sitting next to him hadn't heard of his reputation yet. Well, unfortunately for him, the two were in Logan's least favorite class: history. The class that Logan now associated with whitewashed nationalist propaganda, and arguing with the teacher.

Virgil decided that he would at least get to know this strange man that everyone seemed so.. reluctant to like？ “Uh, hello, I’m.. well, if..  I’m Virgil.” He said tamely, he hoped that they could.. maybe talk？A friend would be nice.

Logan looked over at Virgil with an even, if not cold, expression. That wasn't a name he recognized, so this was probably a new student, which explained why they were actually talking to him. "Logan," he said shortly. They'd learn soon enough that Logan was someone you didn't want to be associated with if you want to have even just a neutral social standing.

Virgil nodded nervously. The dude seemed to be angry at him？Did he provoke him？Should he move seats？ He sighed as he looked down at his work.

Logan put his feet up on the table in front of him, pulling out his phone as he waited for the teacher to, as he put it, "begin his attempt at brainwashing a class of impressionable teenagers."

“Today we shall learn about the history of people that.. well.. people who.. the homosexuals.. and.. others.” Virgil was completely stunned, before immediately grtting dissapointed. “Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” He mumbled.

"Oh hell no," Logan said out loud. Literally everyone in the room probably already guessed about Logan not being straight, so he didn't have anything to lose from being vocal about his distaste over the lesson. "Oh, FUCK no." Underneath his iwn complaining, however, he heard Virgil's much more quiet complaint. Okay, so this guy is actually pretty chill. That's good to know. By "chill" Logan meant "not a smallminded conservative" but those pretty much meant the same thing to him.

Virgil sighed. “This.. is fine.” He said. He was a closeted gay boy, he didnt need this. “Now, this shall be respectful..” The teacher rolled her eyes. “Now, what do we know about.. you know.. those people.”

Logan heard what Virgil said, but to him, this most certainly was not fine. He had already picked his battles, and he picked all of them. "If it's gonna be respectful then why don't you just say the word 'Gay'?" he yelled at the teacher.

The class went dead silent. Virgil sighed softly. If someone found out he was gay, he would die on the inside. “Well, as you all know, the bible said that homosexuals.. will rot in hell.”

"FALSEHOOD!" Logan screamed, slamming his hands on the table as he stood up. "Respectful my ass! And how is this even history?!" Logan would go on, but if he's learned anything from the debate team, it's to let people keep saying stupid shit for Logan to prove wrong.

“Homosexuality is a diease. Now, now more recent years, we have homosexuality shoved down our throats. This is causing more parents to force their children to be gay. This all started because a black trans-” “Please stop talking..” Virgil groaned, tempted to just bash his head into the table.

"Gayness is NOT a disease," Logan said, smacking his hand on the table as he began talking over the teacher. "It's a human characteristic just like height or eye color. Gayness is NOT being 'shoved down our throats,'" he smacked the table again, "people are just getting introduced to labels they didn't originally have. Parents are NOT forcing their children to be gay-" smack "- most are actually beating and throwing their children out of their homes for being gay. But you know what? You just keep talking. Maybe one of these days you'll actually say something intelligent."

“You come from a biased pretense！You only see the side of the homosexuals, thats why you are one of the-” “OH, FOR FUCKS SAKE, CHANGE THE GOD DAMN SUBJECT YOU-” “Damn pastel！Didnt know you could speak.” A guy called out.

Logan immediately turned and shot a glare at the person who insulted Virgil, forgetting the current feud with the teacher for a moment. "If you're going to waste oxygen like that, at least keep it relevant to the conversation." Logan then turned back to the teacher. "You're the fucking biased one, you homophobe!" he shouted, pointing a finger at the teacher as he leaned nearly halfway across the table to yell at him.

“I am not a homophobe！I like.. the lesbians.” The teacher smirked, as Virgil began to laugh. Hes just,, this teacher, how did you get a job？ ”Fine. We will move onto a differ-”

For once in his life, Logan is so stunned by by what he's hearing reaches a loss for words. "How did you even get your teaching degree, you fucking creep?"

“I try to act respectful, and you insult me？I think people like you just stir up drama to draw attention to yourself.” Virgil had stopped laughing. He felt.. guilty. He shouldnt have laughed. Maybe the teacher was right？

Logan went completely silent, his hands curling into fists. "Don't. You. Ever. Generalize me. Like that." Then, to make sure he didn't try to physically fight his teacher, he walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Virgil watched Logan leave, watched everyone whispering about how freaky Logan was. How gay he was.. Virgil stayed quiet and refused to speak to anyone.

Logan stormed down the hallway, absolutely fuming. He ended up in the school's gym, knowing there wasn't a gym class that period. He let out a shout of frustration as he punched a wall, which hurt, obviously, but it satisfied him and let out some of his anger. After that he just stood there, fist against the wall, breathing heavily.

Virgils scheduele was lost, so he asked around for his next class. They led him to the schools gym, and left him there, lost and confused. Time to make an unlikely friend.

Logan had since moved to sit on the bleachers, glancing up to glare as Virgil entered the gym. He was currently in a mindset that nobody would be friendly towards him, especially right now.

Virgil felt the glare, but sighed. He did promise Patton to make one friend at this god forsaken hell hole. He slowly walks up to Logan. “Uhrm, hi？”

"What do you want?" Logan growled. He recognized that this was the person who was sitting beside him in history, but he still felt like he'd antagonize Logan anyway. Most people did anyway.

He gave Logan a weak smile. “A..Are you okay？” He tilted his head. ”And where is the rest of our class？” He expected at least one othed person to come in. Poor thing.

"I'm fine," Logan snapped defensively, in a counter-productive attempt at convincing Virgil that that was actually true. "And there isn't a class in here right now." Logan didn't have a gym class at all. He was actually skipping a class right now, but it wasn't like his teacher would miss him anyway.

“Oh..” He stammered, looked down at the floor guiltily. “Do you know where S7 is？” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And.. wait. Why arent you in class.. oh.”

Logan sighed as he stood up. "Yeah, come on." He gestured for Virgil to follow him with a small shrug of a shoulder.

Virgil smiled. “Thank you, Logan.” He said softly, following behind him, glad that Logan would do this for him.

Logan shrugged as he began leading Virgil to his classroom. "Whatever," he muttered. Whatever it took to get himself his alone time in the gym. He doubted it would do Virgil's social reputation much good to see him with Logan, though.

“To be honest, that ass of a teacher really should be fired. What kind of creep just likes lesbians？” He tried to make small talk.

"Basically the entire American public does, actually." Logan was pretty sure it was a rhetorical question, but it wasn't like he was wrong, he thought.

“oh.. well.. thats..” Virgil sighed. “Why were you there alone instead of hanging out with friends？” He seemed rather done.

Logan glanced back at Virgil, although he didn't stop walking. "Because there are classes going on right now," Logan said. It was true, although Logan wasn't hanging out with friends because he didn't have any. He just wasn't going to tell Virgil that.

“Dont you have a badass like, gang？Like everyone says？” He tilted his head, very confused. “Oh.. are you.. uh..” He was genuinely confused.

"A gang?" Logan said in mild surprise and disbelief. That was seriously what people said about him? Logan guessed he underestimated his own reputation.

“Yeah. Also, apparently you dont like when people steal your role, so you are going to beat my ass. If you are, then I guess do it here.” He has no fear for death anymore. This school sucked any hope of caring out of him.

"What exactly do people say my role is then?" Logan hadn't intended on carrying on a conversation for this long, or really at all, but he couldn't help but be curious as to what people said about him.

He stared up at the sky, he really didnt want to say this. Dear god, please strike him with lighting. Oh, no lighting？F- “You’re the bad boy that all the girls swoon over. Apparently you’re soft and sweet on the inside.” He scoffed slightly. His defense is up.

Logan stiffened as he continued walking, gagging a little. That was it. It was official. Logan hated his reputation. He supposed he'd have to work harder on establishing his reputation as being stone cold and heartless. He wasn't going to stop picking fights with bigots though, he knew that much. "Well, here's your class," he said to Virgil, stopping in front of a classroom before immediately turning go back to the gym instead of the class he had that period.

“Thanks Logan.” He gave him a weak grin. “Logan Man, Fighting off bigots day after day.” He scoffed, before it turned to a light giggle, and Virgil went into class. What a dork. A nice dork.

Logan glanced back as he walked off, turning back after Virgil walked into class. As he neared the gym again, he glanced down at his left knuckles. After punching the wall, they became red and sore, and Logan was starting to regret punching the wall. His hand still stung.

This is why you dont start a war on walls, you idiot. Virgils class exprience was.. intresting. They made up rumors about him and Logan, and Virgil wanted to vomit. Love always made him feel weird and uncomfortable, but hes absolutely sure hes just gay.

Logan sat back down in the gym bleachers. He didn't know what he was doing back here instead of going to class. He guessed he pretty much didn't want to hear whatever his classmates would say about him. That was actually the first time he stormed out in the middle of class like that, and he assumed that was what people would be talking about right now.

They began to gossip about Logan having a girlfriend, boyfriend, and then him being in a gang. Now they all think Logans a fucking gang leader. Good luck talking to anyone, Logie.

After sitting in the gym with nothing to do for a while, Logan stood back up and headed to the band room. That was where he usually went when he wanted alone time, the gym had just been closer that time. As he walked down, he realized that being a musician probably contributed to people thinking he's "soft and sweet on the inside" but fuck it. Music is probably the reason he doesn't throw hands with every mildly unpleasant person in his vicinity.

Virgil cant stop laughing at the pure idiocity, wanting to just record this and send it to Logan... Eh, later. Once he befriends Logan. He nods to himself as the bell rung. Now he could go find Logan！And hang out with him！

Logan had just reached the band room by the time the bell rang. "God dammit," he said loudly. Now he'd have to choose between letting out some energy and missing another class. Logan sat down behind the drumset in the room, pulling out his phone and earbuds. He figured his teacher wouldn't miss him, and really, who cares if the teacher calls his house? Who gives a shit? Certainly not him. So he put on a pair of fingerless gloves he kept with him, turned on his music, and played along to American Idiot.

Virgil was going to class, but heard... music？He quietly walks towards the sounds, peering in. They had a music room？！ Logan plays music？！ He quietly attempted to sneak in, to be able to hear better. He ended up tripping into a guitar, miraculously not breaking it.

Most people would've heard Virgil tripping as he snuck in, but not only was Logan listening to really loud music, but he was also playing a really loud instrument. But really, neither of those things meant much, because Logan was in The Zone. It would take a lot to break his focus.

Virgil was extremely impressed. Logan really was in the mood. He sat on the floor, just admiring the music.

Logan looked up once the song had ended, quickly pulling out his earbuds and jolting upwards once he saw Virgil sitting there. "What the hell are you doing here?"

“...Uhhhhh, I thought this was the cafeteria？Nice pl-playing.” He quickly stood up, immediately smackin into a cupboard and just sighing softly.

"Of course this isn't the fucking cafeteria, do you see any tabl-" Logan went quiet for a moment when he saw the knocked over guitar. He practically threw himself over the drumset as he ran to check on the guitar, because despite the fact that the school technically owned all of the instruments, that was Logan's Guitar. "The fuck did you do?!" Logan shouted as he checked the guitar over for any damage.

He quickly stood up. “See-ing a-as this isnt the cafeteria, I-I’m going to-” He began to speed for thr door.

Logan looked back up once he was sure his guitar was alright. Once he saw Virgil heading for the door, it occurred to him what he had just done. "I, I didn't mean to snap," he said apologetically, rubbing the back of his head as he looked away from Virgil. This new body language was a complete change from how he usually acts.

Virgil paused, reluctantly rubbing the back of his neck. “U-Uh, oh, ok-okay. I’m.. I’m sorry. You.. You clearly werent..” All words just seemed to die in his mouth.

Logan sighed as he stood back up. "Whatever, just, try not to knock any instruments over, okay?" Logan mumbled as he began walking past Virgil out the door. Okay, so he didn't mumble, but compared to how clearly he normally speaks he might as well have been.

"Thank you, L-Logan." He stammered. He didnt move, just awkwardly standing there. "O-Oh, uh, of course.. Uh, can I sit with you at lunch?" He managed through jumbled stammering.

Logan glanced back at Virgil as he walked out, trying to understand the logic of wanting to be around somebody who just yelled at you for something that wasn't intentional. Logan was hoping it wasn't anything like Logan being nice, because if Logan was the nicest person Virgil knew, well that's just sad. "Sure, whatever." Logan shrugged. He didn't actually know if he was actually going to stay until lunch, since he had been planning on leaving for the rest of the day. He shrugged at himself as he left the band room. Logan supposed he'd find out by lunch.

Virgil just followed after him, quietly. Hey, Logans the nicest guy here at this hell hole of a school, Well, the nicest guy he has met. He looks around, feeling awkward. Oh god. Why is he bothering Logan. He doesnt want you here. Just leave. "Uh-"

Logan attempted to continue walking as normal, despite the ever present awareness of Virgil following him. After all, by the looks of this kid, he's definitely harmless. Although after a while it became hard to ignore the little lost puppy of Virgil. "What are you following me for?" Logan asked over his shoulder. "Don't you have a class or something?" Honestly, how is anyone supposed to let out some steam when someone is following them everywhere?

Virgil flinched. "uh.. yeah.. sure.." He mumbled, and he quickly left. He didnt know why he cared so much. Oh wait, yes he did. Because he wanted Logan's friend. Why? Because he found Logan cool.

Logan sighed once Virgil left. He didn't really know why. Was he disappointed? Logan actually thought he might be. That was probably the longest anyone had ever voluntarily been around him, after all. Either way, Logan still had no idea what to do at this point, especially considering that if he left before school ended he'd definitely have to deal with the consequences soon enough.

Virgil headed off into the bathroom. He just needed somewhere to stay calm, and clear his head. Everything just made him feel horrible. He quietly locked himself into a stall, keeping himself quiet.

Logan leaned against a wall in the hallway, getting out his phone as he debated his options. If he left school now, Virgil wouldn't have to worry about his mistake of wanting to be around him during lunch, but his mom would be pissed if she found out he didn't even stay half of the day. But if he stayed and went to class, he'd half a lot of pent up anger with him during class, and his home had probably already been called due to him not having made it to this class period, so he'd still probably hear about it anyway.

Virgil calmed himself down, and went back outside. He looked around, wondering if Logan was still around. He.. He hoped so. He is not going to that hell hole alone.

Logan sighed as he put his phone away, finally heading to class. He was pretty sure that it was the world's most stupid desicion for Virgil to want to be anywhere near him, but as a new kid who clearly had no idea how to survive in this school, he probably wouldn't be very safe if he was alone during lunch.

Virgil quietly sighed, deciding to go to class. He hid his eyes with his hair. He slunk into the back of the class, trying to keep away from everyone.

Logan managed to keep himself from throwing hands for the rest of his morning class, heading down to the lunchroom afterwards. He stood against a wall and watched people enter without personally eating.

Once that hellish excuse for a class was done, Virgil quietly found Logan and walked up to him. “Uh, hi.”

Logan looked over at Virgil, honestly kind of surprised that he committed to his decision to spend the lunch period with Logan. "Hey," he said briefly, looking back across the room.

He gave him a pathetic grin, trying to not be awkward, but the boy radiates awkward. “Uh, uhm, er, hi.” He began to play with his hands, biting his lip.

"You don't talk to people much, do you?" Logam didn't look back at Virgil as he spoke. Was he hoping Virgil would decide Logan actually was unpleasant to be around and leave? Yeah, Logan thought he was.

“N-Not really.” He mumbled, not moving, copying Logans pose. He wasnt exactly enjoying the people staring at him, but hes happy having a friend.

Logan's surprise grew as Virgil started copying him. He didn't know why, but that was really unexpected. "Aren't you going to eat or something?" Logan was determined to not let his surprise, or really any other emotion, show.

Virgil shook his head, deciding a verbal response wasnt worth it. Plus, the food looked like slop. He fidgetted with his hands, trying to spark a conversation.

Logan glanced over at Virgil, trying to figure out what to do in this situation. God, this kid is making me more awkward just by being around me. It's a wonder he's survived this long.

Virgil thought about his family. His family sucked. It would be nice to know what raised that hardcore lad. “Uh... Whats your family like？” He said softly. God fUcking damn it, Virgil. You cant ask about anything N O RM A L-

The change in Logan's posture was immediate. His back straightened, his shoulders became more squared, his hands tightened into fists. "Why do you care?" Logan's voice was cold and hard as knives.

Virgil shrunk back, his eyes wide. “I-I dont know？I’m just trying to make conversations..” He trailed off, going silent. Wait. Why was Logan caring so much. “Oh god, are you an orp-”

Logan scoffed at that second comment, giving Virgil the slightest shake of his head and somehow managing to make those small actions violent and angry. I wish I was that lucky.

Virgil flinched. He felt his heart race at those angry movements. “Uh, er.. sorry.” Virgil practically sped off, he feels sick.

Logan turned and watched him go. If he were in any other mood, he'd probably feel bad for scaring Virgil like that. But right now he didn't even care, he simply turned back to glare at the rest of the people in the room.

The whispers of the room continued, questioning Logan and why he doesnt like his family

Logan didn't say anything to anyone, although when he heard someone talking about him he'd shoot a glare at them to get them to shut up.

The cafeteria was awkward and quiet. Nobody wanted to talk to Logan, or get beaten up.

Eventually Logan got tired of the stares and went back to the gym. He would've went to the band room, but there was a class there at the time, so he had to go with the next best thing.

Virgil was sitting behind the bleachers, desperately trying to calm himself. Logan hates him. Everyone hates him. He hates this hell-hole of a school.

Logan didn't notice Virgil as he came in, walking over to a padded part of the wall so he could punch it and not hurt himself again. He punched the wall, then drew his hand back and punched again, and again, and again. He hated his mother. He hated every single boyfriend she had ever had. He hated this school. He hated that he was always alone. He hated that this one time somebody actually wanted to be around him, he was determined to scare them off. He hated everything right now.

The punches just terrified Virgil even more. Oh great. Now a murderer was after him. He let out a strangled gasp, as his world began to spin round, making Virgil shake.

Logan paused when he heard the gasp behind him. He turned and finally noticed Virgil behind him, and of course it was only after he started panicking. Logan stood there, trying to figure out if he should go try to help, considering he was probably the thing causing Virgil to panic and being closer might just make it worse.

He couldnt breathe. The gasps became more frequent. Fuck. Hes gonna die here. Hes gonna die alone. Jesus this is getting sad.

Soon enough, Logan decided on walking over, kneeling down in front of Virgil. It wasn't like he was getting any better without Logan interacting. "Hey, Virgil?" Logan started in the most even voice he could produce. "I'm gonna need you to calm down, can you do that? Just focus on breathing." Fuck, is this what you're supposed to do? Logan honestly didn't have a clue, but from what he did know about panic attacks this seemed like an appropriate response.

Virgil trembles, before his blood stopped. Logan. “I-I’m sorry！I’m sorry！I-I-I-I...” He hears that Logans hear to help. “I-I cant- I-I’m a failure！”

Upon hearing Virgil's words, Logan's hands curled into fists. He was immediately ready to fight on behalf of someone he didn't even know. Then Logan reminded himself that right now, fighting was not in fact going to help. He took a deep breath, forcing his hands to relax again before continuing to talk to Virgil. "No, you're not a failure, there's no need to be sorry." Logan slowly reached out and took one of Virgil's hands in his own, checking for his reaction.

Virgil jolted, scramming away, apologizing. “I said- I said sorry！P-Please.. Leave me alone.” He sobbed. “I-I-I-” He felt his throat constrict.

Logan quickly pulled his hands away from Virgil, feeling guilt like a stab in his gut. This was all because of him, wasn't it? Maybe he should just leave, Virgil did tell Logan to leave him alone, didn't he? And Logan was pretty sure he just made it worse because he had no idea how to help, so Virgil would probably be better off if Logan left him alone.

Virgil whimpers, god hes so pathetic. Such a useless person. “Pathetic.. Useless..” He mumbled softly, looking away from Logan. The attack was beginning to die down, but he wouldnt be calm for a while.

Logan opened his mouth, about to correct Virgil on what he was saying about himself, but then he hesitated, and soon closed his mouth again. Logan looked down at the floor as he slowly stood back up and left, his endgoal being the doors leading out of the school. Logan officially decided he was done with being around people for a good while. Logan easily ignored the stares of the people in the halls. Most people took one look at Logan's overall demeanor and knew not to stare, so Logan was able to get out the school doors without even being interuppted.

Virgil made sure to keep close to Logan. He felt so guilty, he can’t believe he was so stupid. He had to have Logan come help him from a panic attack！All he is, is a panicky, clingy, failure.

Logan sighed and turned around as he got outside the door, facing Virgil. "Don't you have something better to do? Like class or something?" Logan was trying not to snap, especially since Virgil had just gotten out of a panic attack, but his voice was still harsh. Logan just wanted an escape from people, and now this little lost puppy of a person was becoming the first and only obstacle to that.

He kept his mouth shut. He felt so awkward. Like he owed Logan and apology. For seeing that. For seeing how much of a mess he was.. Yeah, he left soon after Logan spoke.

Logan walked away from the school after that, although he didn't really know where he was going. All he really knew at the time was that he wanted to escape from people, despite the fact that he didn't know where he could go that didn't have people. Logan ended up going over to the park, deciding that the park would have the least amount of people. After a while Logan had calmed down enough to tolerate human connection again, and walked down to the local café, because despite its black color, the fabric of Logan's jacket did little to protect him from the cold. He almost smiled as he walked through the door of the café, looking at the pride flag sticker on the window. Logan sat down in a booth, although since he was a regular the staff weren't expecting him to order anything.

Virgil was nervous. He had gotten lost on his way home, and was walking down to a cafe. He was hungry, after all. He looked at his phone, cringing at its dead battery. But he managed to smile. Today started off great, at least. Logan was.. his friend？Well, he seemed to begin to tolerate Virgil. And hes fine with that. He ordered a cup with a long list of ingredients. His own list of “Fuck me up” ingredients.

Logan didn't notice Virgil walking in. He had started dozing off in his seat when a waiter walked over, giving him a plate of eggs and toast. "It's on the house. You look like you could use it," they said with a smile as they left the table. They were right about that; Logan hadn't eaten all day. Logan glanced back over, guilt weighing down his shoulders as he began eating. He glanced over at his phone as he ate. The only reason it wasn't dead was because he was at the table with the outlet. That was basically His Table and both the visitors and staff knew this. Once Logan finished eating, he put his head atop his hand and began dozing off again. The poor kid hadn't slept well in ages.

The waitress did NOT look happy that Virgil had such a long list, but, he paid and ordered it, so she had to. When he asked for an outlet seat, he was pointed into Satan- I mean, Logans direction. “Oh, hi Logan.” Virgil said softly, holding his head phone.

Logan was partially asleep at the time, although he had trained himself to not fall asleep entirely, so when he heard his name he was immediately awake and alert. He put his arm down on the table as he looked at Virgil. "Hey," he said shortly, realizing that this was the kid from school, which meant school was over. Logan hadn't really been paying attention.

“Uh, Uhmm...” He felt really awakward.. Was there any other outlet booths？Logan looked like he would murder Virgil if he sat there.

Logan raised an eyebrow at Virgil, drumming his fingers against the table. Honestly, if there was anywhere that he was least likely to murder someone, it was that café. It was quite honestly the most comfortable place he had ever been in, and he wasn't about to throw that away by getting into a fight.

Virgil looked away. They say, if you look Logan in the eye, you’ll turn into stone. “Sorry. I’ll just take the bus.” Yes. The bus. That he has no.clue about. Tbh, If I were Virgil？I’d rather walk.

Logan stared at Virgil. What the hell was he talking about? "We don't have a bus." Did Virgil just move here? Also why was he talking about a bus inside a café? What the hell was his train of thought?

Transfer student. Yes, he did just move here. Thats.. Thats kinda why he wasnt as fearful of Logan. ”Oh.” He said simply. “Fu-”

Logan sighed in confusion as he looked away from Virgil, bringing up his hand again to set his head on and closing his eyes. He didn't have any sort of obligation to interact with Virgil, so if he wasn't going to actually say anything then Logan was going to try to stock up on light sleep.

“ck.” He sighed. He awkwardly shuffled into the booth, just wanting to charge his phone, man.

Logan opened his eyes again, having expected Virgil to just stand awkwardly or leave. He glanced at the coffee Virgil had as he sat down, reading the ingredient label. "That's incredibly unhealthy for you." Logan didn't know why he was starting conversation when he could be sleeping, but he was aware of how much Virgil's coffee could fuck someone up.

“Eh. Nobody really cares.” He took a sip, waiting for his phone to do him a favour and charge. One percent, and the most aggressive spam of messages blasts through his phone. “Oh. I’m popular today.” He muttered. Of course, his parents had guests today. They had to pretend they cared.

Logan watched the phone screen as the messages showed up on the screen. Honestly he was pretty surprised by the spam, he barely ever got any messages, and he definitely didn't remember the last time his mom texted him. She generally saved her barrage of harassment for when they were face-to-face. He genuinely didn't think whatever the messages were about could be good.

They werent. They were degrading messages about his intelligence. “Ah！My mom.. uh, says that.. I gotta go.. God, shes so kind.” He made a convincing act. “See you, Punk.” He gave him a pathethically weak smile. He had no way home. Sadness hours.

Logan didn't believe the act for a second. Everything he read on that screen were things he could practically hear his mother saying to him, and "kind" wasn't even the last word he'd use to describe her. Nonetheless, he understood the need to get home. Logan sighed at the smile. Honestly it was kind of sad. "You don't know where you're going, do you?" Logan asked, deadpan. Seeing how lost Virgil was in school, the entire town probably seemed like an actual maze to him.

Virgil flinched at the deadpan tone. “Ah, well, uhrm, yeah..” He muttered, allowing his bangs to cover his eyes. “I’ll find my way home, I dont need a gang member to escort me.” He muttered, a bit of a bitter tone in his voice. He doesnt know why he said that. Maybe to drive Logan away？But he adored Logan！Logan was so cool.. God damn, you stalker, stop thinking about him！ “...sorry.” He muttered, getting up.

Logan sighed and looked away. Gang member. Is that really how people saw him? He only meant to scare off jerks and bigots, and he honestly wanted to be supportive of basically anyone who got picked on or bullied. Apparently those people couldn't trust him either. He knew he couldn't be surprised though, nobody in their right mind would trust somebody who got so angry they had to punch a wall to feel just a little better. "Whatever," Logan muttered. "I just hope you know that everyone's gonna assume you're queer now." Logan jabbed a finger towards the pride flag sticker he had looked at on the way in.

The look of sheer terror as he saw the said flag was hilarious. He had tried his best to act like a straight guy. “I’m straight.” He mumbled. “Uhm, are you gay, Logan？”

Logan almost laughed at what was to him an obvious lie. Almost. "I think I'm as straight as you are." Straight as a rainbow, that is.

Virgil looked afraid. But then again, when hes with Logan... Wait. Beforehand, Virgil wasnt scared or worried. Aww！You turned someone who, rather blindly, trusted you, against you！But isnt that what you do best, Logan？

[assassinscreed-photomode]

softish Spoilers for the final final chapter (Hunting Alfred)

😭

long, sorry. also I have an identity crisis at the end. Fuck england

Gods I hate that final final hunting king Aelfred quest, erasing that from my memory in 3 2 1...nope, everyone was just horribly injured, but survived and they all got everything they wanted, and lived full happy lives until the end of their days! Woo fiction!

Seriously, my delicate heart can’t take the whole trope of bringing in all these wonderful fantastic characters only for them to be used as pawns to sacrifice in the final chapters for the emotions.

I actually ended up skipping through a number of death scenes and similar because I was so desperate to get to the end. I don’t even know for sure how many of the characters died lmao......It really draws you in with those first few chapters, oh look how fun and interesting everyone is, here's a low stakes saga to get you started and then BAM dead dead dead.

I don’t know what it is. 

I think because this game is set in my country, one that I have a complicated relationship with. Many of the regions I know and love, places I have not been able to go to or anywhere this year due to covid,  I found myself feeling deeply emotional in regard to certain visual and regional aspects  of it, and then that high emotional state would transfer onto the characters and story. It mainly manifested in me having deep deep empathy for our Eivor, so much that I felt I was hurting on her behalf. Especially in regards to Sigurd, all those visions, the shit that went down in Norway like girl ARE YOU OK? Someone hug her, please.

There were times I was playing this where I genuinely felt distressed and anxious on behalf of Eivor, mainly in regards to Sigurd’s sudden anger after Suthsexe, but that's a whole other thing. I tried to be perfect around him so he wouldn’t shout at me, which obviously didn’t work. which is literally what I learnt to do as a small child and have been working through now I’m an adult. Did Sigurd fuck with my mental health progress? Omg that’s kinda amazing lol.  (though it did work out with him returning to Ravensthorpe with me because I didnt fck his wife and punch him in the face, so lesson.....learnt???) 

AC games can be stressful because they chronicle somebody’s whole life from start to finish, and that can feel like a lot of pressure when you are playing through the game and growing very found of the character you are using.

It’s also a bittersweet ending because you know that historically.................y’know with Alfred and the Danes, it’s no fairy tale. Its a shitshow, the danes do not conquer england or leave, they slowly lost more and more land over the century and their culture just blurred in with all the others

That SHIT IS NOT OVER.

England’s history is so so ugly. I’m talking England specifically, not Britain. It’s hideous, truly. There has not been one age in England that hasn't be fraught, fractured and rotting. From when the Romans showed up and started killing off and kicking out the indigenous celtic people, to god damn last week.

Like, as an english person who has roots and ancestors deep in these regions from as far back as my family can tell, who am I meant to be rooting for in this story? Who are me? The Saxons? They shot up from germanic regions a few hundred years before, are they my people? The Vikings? Danes the like invaded and took the land, for...reasons? I suppose? I mean, I did grow up in a town names for a viking raid of the monastery there...?

Should I root for the celtic britons? Don’t get me wrong Rhodri was evil, but is he my people?

By the time england became england, where there any celts still there? All kicked out of killed off by invading forces. Should I be rooting for the Picts from Scotland and the Pagans from the West Country? Indigenous Celts, who stick out and stand out in Valhalla’s England but were once the only people there, do they count as me? Or whatever is left of Roman descendants? Am I all of them? Centuries later the French took over, sort of. It was all mixed together at that point, genetically, culturally.

What does it even mean to be english? It’s like an ancient version of america. We all came from somewhere else, or left. What counts as being from somewhere?

I mean, I kind of knew this history before, but this game has really cemented in me just how fucked up the concept of england is. The last 5 years or so, politically, has made me resent and hate england in many ways. Not britain, england. I couldn’t imagine myself loving it ever again. But I think I do, I think I understand what it is now, more than I did before. 

A mish mash of fractured ancient cultures clashing together trying to resemble a country. Its a wound that may never truly heal, but that is what makes it different from its celtic neighbours . NOT BETTER but it just had a different and very ugly start in life. I always joke about needing to move to scotland, to escape. But  I know I never will, I’ve always known. I can’t do it. When Ivarr was talking about Ubba in that drinking scene, saying he disagrees with what Ubba is doing and what his goals are but he CAN’T leave him, he’s his brother. Yeah, that’s kind of how I feel about this stupid ancient busted up land. 

I just want Eivor to be happy. I’m reminded of an amazing post I saw here on tumbler years ago, it went something like: I feel like a lot of people fail to realise that for some,�� loving fictional characters is the closest thing they have to loving themselves. Self love, self compassion, it can be so, so hard. So when you see someone else on screen, someone you can relate to, you pour your heart and soul into loving them. You want to protect them and give them all the love you can’t quite convince yourself you deserve. And by doing that, maybe just maybe, they can bring you one step closer to loving yourself.

I feel like I’ve been trampled by a fucking horse. This started out as a joke post about head canons and turned into me delving into my life long relationship with national identity. All I’m going to do in Valhalla now is fish.

Wow, successful therapy session, thanks all

._.

[smolfrogi]

Love amongst the Himbos

by: Roman

tw’s: homophobia(briefly), swearing, some violence

Multiple parts, I’ve got a lot of world building and not enough space in one part

“Get up, bitchboy.” Ah, one of Toph’s lovely greetings.

“I’m doing it, I’m doing it.” Sokka lied.

“I may be blind but I know you’re still in bed, pissbaby,” Toph growled. “Don’t make me get Katara.”

“I should’ve never given you a house key.” Sokka grumbled, standing up. He wrapped up his arms in white bandages and put his hair up in a ponytail. “If I get called to the guidance councilor for wearing these one more time, I’m gonna kill someone.”

“I genuinely do not care.”

“You’re so nice, why don’t you have more friends?” Sokka retorted.

“They can’t handle the power of my greatness. I’m the greatest earthbender in the world, y'know.” Toph answered.

“Alright, let’s go.” Sokka walked through the door, with Toph following. Katara joined them. They walked out the door and down the street. Why is this sophomore hanging out with a 7th grader? Who cares.

“I heard there’s a new kid at school.” Aang added when they picked him up on the way. “He’s from New York or something, a private school kid, y'know?”

“Hm. I wonder why he’s moving here.” Katara thought out loud, opening the door to the school.

“Oh, did I tell y'all I hit 4k on tiktok?” Sokka bragged.

“Yes. Like 40 times.” Toph stated bluntly. The cafeteria was chaos as always. Sokka walked across the cafeteria to get the school’s breakfast since he didnt have time earlier.

Sokka’s stomach filled up with dread. Hide,  fucking Hide. He was the worst. Hide tormented all of the students, especially the 6th graders just trying to find somewhere to sit. Lucky for him, Hide never tried to make fun of Sokka. What we he even insult him over? “Haha! You have straight A’s and biceps!”? Sokka didn’t recognize half the kids at school anyway, why should he care about some asshole?

“Oooo! What’s this?” Hide’s ‘crew’ circled around an almost empty table. “A new kid? What’s your name, shorty?”

No response. Shouldn’t have done that.

“He asked for your name.” One of his goons thumped his hands on the table.

“Cool.” The boy muttered. His voice was raspy and deep. He spoke quietly, but with a fatal amount of sass. Hide, an asshole, obviously didn’t like that.

“You think you can talk to me like that?” He snapped. Where the hell are the teachers? He yanked the boy out of his seat.

The kid had dark hair that fell over his eyes and crept down his neck. On the left side of his face, a huge scar covered his eye and reached across his ear, which had a hearing aid. “Leave me alone.”

“Oh, I will! After I kill you.” Hide swung at Zuko, but his hand was blocked before he could reach. Sokka clenched his wrist and twisted it around his back before shoving him.

“You’re a coward, Hide.” Sokka challenged.

“What’s wrong, faggot? Got a crush on him already?” He mocked. Sokka stepped back.

“No. But you’ve just about pissed me off-” The bell rang and interrupted Sokka.

“Saved by the bell. See you after school.” Hide smirked before walking off.

“I can handle myself.” The kid grabbed his bag.

“I never caught your name, emo.” Sokka remarked.

“Yeah, I didn’t throw it.” He paused, throwing the bad over his shoulder. “It’s Zuko,” he answered. “yours?”

“Sokka. Well Zuko,” Sokka cleared his throat. “What’s your first class?”

“History.”

“Ah, my pal Mr Zei. Follow me.” Sokka started toward the hallway.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I have history, and I’m late already. Now I can say I was showing you around.”

Zuko nodded.

“Sokka, you’re late? You’re never late, are you okay?” Zei asked.

“Yeah, of course, I was helping the new kid!” Sokka answered. Zei nodded and gestured towards Sokka’s seat. “Psst! Zuko!”

Zuko didn’t even look at him.

“Zukooo!”

No reply.

Sokka poked him in the arm.

“What?” Zuko asked, he had one hand on his ear.

“Are you paying attention?” He asked.

“They were being loud earlier, I turned my hearing aid off.”

“Oh, well Zei’s starting a lesson.”

Zuko nodded.

Zuko pov

“And that concludes the Tutum Unision. Can anyone tell me about the siege on Ba Sing Se?” Zuko flinched at the mention of it. “Hide?”

“General Iroh, a-k-a the Dragon of the West, started the siege on Ba Sing Se in 2013 with his son, Lu Ten,” Hide started. Zuko closed his fists. “The siege ended when-”

“Can I go to the bathroom?” Zuko clenched his teeth. “Please?”

“Um…yes. You may. Raise your hand next time.” 

Zuko ran down the hall, trying to shake the panic. He went into the bathroom and sighed. Fuck. You’re such a pussy..

Zuko breathed slowly, releasing some fire through his breath, he closed his eyes. There’s no more war. There was never war in Tutum. That’s why we’re here. Zuko thought to himself. He pulled himself together after a few minutes. He left the bathroom slowly enough to get back almost the moment they were about to leave.

“Sorry about…whatever that was…” Sokka sighed.

“It’s fine.”

“Well anyway, what’s next?”

“English Language Arts.”

Sokka rolled his eyes. “It’s down the hall- just look for the room with cartoon book stickers on the door.”

“Thanks.” He smiled, mostly just to be polite. He felt strangely upset that Sokka wasn’t coming.

“Romeo and Juliet. Chapter one, who wants to start?”

French, already speak it. “Bonsoir! Je parle français. Vous aussi.”

Math. “If X is 2 and Y is 6, What is K?”

Chemistry. “Safety must be taken very seriously in this class…”

It all felt useless, y’know?

“Zuko?” Sokka had seen Zuko from his desk. His blue eyes were squinted, almost shut, in a bright smile. His hair was pulled back messily. He wore a dark gray pullover hoodie, with a NASA logo on the right side of his chest, that fit him just right. Zuko thought about how beautiful Sokka was until he snapped himself out of it, that’s not who he was, he didnt think like that.

Sokka came over and sat down next to him. He breathed softly while he copied the instructions onto notebook paper, small animals and trees were scribbled into the margins.

Sokka pov

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH C U T E

Sokka scribbled in the margins of his paper to distract himself. Turtleducks and Badgermoles, even Aang’s Bison. He started sketching out a sheepcat.

“I have some of those.” Zuko pointed at his drawing. “Sheepcats, I mean.”

“Oh. That’s,” Sokka paused. Say something, dumbass! “nice?” DUMBASS 

“Yeah.” Zuko looked back at his paper.

“I- uh, what are their, their names?” He asked, trying to keep the conversation going, it’s not like they’re going to do anything. Imagine! Doing actual activities in Study Hall!

“Druk, Ursh, and…” He paused.

“And?”

“Lu Ten jr.- Lu for short.” He finished.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

They kind of sat looking at each other, not knowing what to say. Sokka looked down at his paper. “I, uhm, I have a polar bear dog.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

Alright, this officially sucks.

It ain’t much, but it’s chapter 1.

[giogio-gucci-gangstar]

Bubble Bath: Joseph x Caesar

Cw: shenanigans, tomfoolery, bubbles, toy battleships, just boys being boys, bro’s being dudes

——————

“No no no JoJo! Are you even paying attention at all!” Caesar grimaced, trying not to laugh at JoJo’s ridiculous antics.

“Mmm I was trying to but then you just started droning on and on with all these names and places and events. Like huh?” Joseph whined, using his Harmon to play with the tagliatelle before him.

“Names and places and events are literally all history is. And how could Venetian history possibly be boring?! It is the epicenter of art and culture-“

“Mmmm the city seems a little spread out to be an epicenter,” at that Caesar groaned and started to massage his temples.

“But actually I do have a question,” Joseph stopped playing with his noodles for a moment to show his sincerity.

Caesar was hesitant to show too much excitement, a question from JoJo could range from ‘could I have a bite of that’ to ‘under what circumstances would you cook my body and eat it’. To be frank Caesar did not like either of those questions, but he had hope that this one could pertain to the lesson at hand. Albeit a small amount of hope.

“Alright... what is your question about?”

“Hamon” JoJo said mater of factly. He smoothly slid out of his chair and started to pace around the table, waving his fork around to the tempo of his thoughts.

“So. Hamon is conducted easily through water right?”

“Yes that’s fairly basic, but yes it’s-“

“No that’s all I needed from that. Next, you have soap over all your clothing so you can make bubbles with your Hamon correct?”

“Yes?” Caesar was beginning to feel like he was being interrogated and feared the result.

“And if I’m not wrong, soap and water create bubbles-“

“Yes Joseph what the hell are you on about!”

JoJo finally broke and slammed his hands down on the table in front of Caesar, “THEN ALL THE FACTS WOULD CONCLUDE THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD MAKE THE PERFECT BUBBLE BATH!”

Caesar scoffed, arrogance oozing off of him, “JoJo, every bath I take is a bubble bath.”

JoJo’s jaw dropped so fast it nearly hit the table. “R-really?”

“Mmmhm. I’m quite surprised you haven’t tried it yourself. Or is it that you can’t do it on your own?” There it was, Caesar’s snide grin, so easily turning this into a competition.

“Uhhh don’t you think I’ve tried? What do you think all that water on the terrace was from?”

“My god! I thought it was just a freak storm!” Caesar was genuinely shocked that JoJo still had such little control of his Hamon. Maybe he could take this chance and be the bigger person. JoJo had conceded that he didn’t know how to do it... maybe this was his odd little way of asking for help.

“Do you want me to show you how to do it?” Caesar asked hesitantly. This was either going to be a teachable moment, which was what this whole afternoon was supposed to be, or it would end in disaster. As most moments with JoJo did.

“Yes!” JoJo nearly pounced on Caesar, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the bathroom.

———

“So try this” and Caesar leaning over JoJo, gently spreading his fingers gently across the surface of the water.

“Ha,” JoJo was a little flushed, “so, is this how you get all the girls?” he managed to stutter out.

Caesar totally missing his point scoffed, which was one of his most usual reactions to JoJo, “No they wouldn’t know how to use Hamon.”

JoJo tolled his eyes, “I meant with bubble baths helloooooo” gesturing to the tub below them.

“Oh, then no. These are just for myself.” He back up and dried his hands on the towel on the table.

“Show me how to make one.” JoJo insisted.

“We just made bubbles-“

“Noooo I want the whole bubble bath! You said you make the best ones. Or were you bluffing?” He taunted.

“Hrmph. I’m offended now. I’ll only show you if you ask nicely.”

“Pleeeeaaaaaase” JoJo nearly begged.

Caesar’s mouth quirked up in a grin, “Well, I guess I can show you how to.”

———

“Bubbles, and a shit ton of them! Some rose petals? Classy! AND candles, my god this is even more extravagant than Lisa Lisa’s!” JoJo’s excitement was palpable.

Joseph was elated looking at the beautiful warm tub awaiting him. He kicked off his boots and started unraveling his scarf. He was just about to slip off his shirt when Caesar interjected.

“JoJo what the hell are you doing?” He shielded his eyes away from the still stripping figure before him.

“What do you mean. It’s a bath, I’m not just gonna let it go to waste.”

“But you’re nearly naked! And you didn’t even give me a warning!”

“Oh... didn’t know you needed one. You’ve never needed one before...” Joseph teases easing himself into the bubbles.

“What the HELL is that supposed to mean?!.”

“Oh come on it’s not like you haven’t seen me in more compromising positions.”

“No JoJo I haven’t!”

“Oh. Well I’ve seen you at least and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“JOJO WHAT THE FUCK”

“You really think Lisa Lisa is the only one I spy on? Nah I’ve seen everyone in this house. I don’t discriminate, though Loggins is terrifyingly hairy so I try to avoid-“

“JOJO! You pervert!! You can’t just go around watching people take baths it’s-“

“Well that’s exactly what you’re doing right now.”

“NOT WILLINGLY”

“WELL IF YOU DIDNT WANT TO SEE IT YOU CAN LEAVE”

“I made the bath... I shouldn’t have to be the one to leave...” Caesar pouted, glaring at him

“Well then come on in, the tubs plenty big.” JoJo offered nonchalantly.

Caesar looked at him incredulously, “JoJo that’s indecent.”

“Mmm no I have something to solve that. Check third pocket on the right in my little backpack.”

Caesar skeptically opened that particular zipper compartment and pulled out two toy battle ships.

“Now second to the left” instructed JoJo peering out over the tub.

Caesar, a little scared to continue, slowly pulled out two miniature water guns.

“Jojo, do you just carry these around all the time?”

“Of course, never know when the perfect moment will arise. The second lesser known Joestar technique is to always be prepared.”

“I-is one of these for me?” Caesar carefully asked, still trying to avoid the naked sight of Joseph.

“Uh duh. But toss me one while you’re at it. Your bubbles may be nice, but no bath is complete without these bad boys.” As JoJo snagged the small water pistol out of the air.

While Caesar was mentally preparing himself to slide into the tub, JoJo covertly filled up the small fun under the bubbles.

When Caesar finally turned around to undress, JoJo used this moment to place a well aimed squirt right down the back of his pants.

“JOJO YOU ASSHOLE” Caesar screamed as he threw himself at JoJo in the tub, but that damn boy was too slippery! He slipped right out of Caesar’s hands, buck naked, and sprinted down the hall with Caesar on his heels.

[scarlettkat86]

FC5 GFH Tag!

Tagged by @chyrstis ty bb💜

My brain instantly emptied when I saw this tag. Hopefully I got it working enough to give y'all Lo as a GFH.

Loralai Dale Jones (GFH)

With Fangs for Hire

Boomer: "Bebee booms!" "Who's the bestest boy? You are!"

Peaches: starts singing pussy cat by bridge city sinners

"How bout a treat for that catitude eh? Wouldn't wanna end up like those peggies."

Cheeseburger: *offers hand and ear scratch* "hope you don't mind some fruits for a snack, I'd like to see you around for a long time big guy"

"hey cheesie, think I could ride on your back into battle? No?"

With other Guns for Hire

Sharky: *checking him out as he joins the team* "dammit, forgot my 'caution: wet floor' sign"

*high fives and secret handshake before shouting "team loshaw in the house!"

*sharky turns on radio. Set those sinners free starts playing.* "this is such a Johnny Cash knock off but goddamn it's good." * Starts singing off key and slaps his hand before he can turn it off.*

Adelaide: "Hey Ads, why's Jacob not on the 'any hole' list?"

*if adelaide is talking bad of hurk jr* "I'm all outta Bitch b gone spray, but these hands can show you what happens when you don't have anything kind to say."

"Im 100% certain I didnt need that image. Now I can't go back to the marina."

Jess *after watching her stealth kill a chosen and two judges in seconds* "I think you're lady boner is showing."

*while waiting* "You know sometimes I wish you'd talk more, but I'm learning the beauty of being one with natur-" *one of Jess' arrows hit the tree beside her head* "Fuck. I don't know if I'm afraid or horny right now. Both. I think both." Jess smirks, barely visible, but its there.

Nick Hey nick, wanna make a deal? *scratches beard* "Depends what you got in mind"

"Free flying lessons in exchange for painting a giant dick onto John's plane?" She rambles on about her plan and he agrees.

"Oh! I almost forgot! I found some of that old baby stuff the peggies took in a bunker a while back, tell Kim I'll be by this weekend."

Hurk Jr. Always greets her as ElDeeJay *finger guns* "Hurkinator!"

After a fight* Hurk runs over to her "Are you alright amigo?" *clutches scrape on her head* "first of all, did you see that peggie get launched? Amazing, and i think he's still in the tree!! Secondly, don't ever aim that rocket near me again or I'll throw you off a cliff."

Grace: *first time meeting her* "wow, you're gorgeous."

"sick shot! Think you could give me lessons?"

"I can sense your an honest person. Glad to have you at my back."

In combat:

•seeing an enemy: "the big ones mine."

•sneaking: "one two Lo is coming for you..."

•killing an enemy: "this never gets easier." "It's my life or yours!" "Think I strik have brain on my boots. Disgusting."

•Reviving: "I'll be there lickety split!" "You're not dying on my watch."

•Hurt: "sonofabitch!!owww." "I'm fine, it's just, a scratch." "Come on! Push through the pain, just a few more."

•Downed: "Take your time, I've got all day. Just bleeding out here." "Fuckfuckfuck" *vision blackened* "I don't see a light. That's.. that's a good thing, right?"

Driving:

If asked to drive: "Buckle up mother fuckers!" "You can totally trust me behind the wheel."

Reckless driving: "cheese on a cracker!" "Who the fuck taught you to drive? A blind man?" "Watch out, I don't want to meet a fiery death at the bottom of a cliff!"

•Changing the radio stations:

Faith's music *exaggerated yawning* "Nope, no, nein, I can't."

*oh John while riding with grace. Making up lyrics* Oh lawd!! Beauty and Grace! She's putting bullets in each and every peggies face!"

Idle:

• If you haven't tried Chad's grill, you've gotta. Don't be put off by the whole roadkill thing. It's fresh, it's delicious. Here feeds the whitetails. I mean have you seen Eli? That's a piece of meat I could sink my teeth into...."

•I wasn't born here in Montana, don't remember much of Tennessee. I do remember always going for hikes to local waterfalls or fishing with my dad there. Was a little more dense, a little less serene... man, I wish he'd of had a chance to see this place.

•Can't stand sitting around. Anyone wanna go for a run? No one?

Location specific:

•In the Whitetail Mountains: "Nothing makes my skin crawl quite like those wolf beacons. Faith has nothing on Jacob when it comes to psychological horrors."

•At Fall's End: So glad to see this place outta John's hands. Im not much for religion but I try to stop by to see Pastor Jerome often. Mans got some interesting stories from his time in service, and history of Hope County.

•Near any Clutch Nixon mission: Greatest or stupidest stuntman of all time. I tried the Baptism of fire one time. Lost an eyebrow, took two years for the burnt hair on the side of my head to grow back normal and broke my arm but man. It was thrilling.

Tagging: @goodboiboomer-fc5 @wewillryesagain @minilev @theblissburns @nightwingshero @jacobmybeloved if yall wanna.. sorry for any double tags, maybe you have a 2nd fc5 oc to share? No obligations though! I took... forever to find this in my drafts :/

[ilguna]

i also have a list of shit my history teacher (this year) has said and done so I will share it with you:

warning: its really fucking long bc he would say/do shit MULTIPLE times a day

goes onto the next slide, “it’s a meme, get it?” proceeds to explain the meme (its the hey arnold meme with the first)

also goes onto another slide, with the twitter opinion meme. at the end of the paragraph it says “this class smacks, I’m lit”

“I’m going to beat up your brother. i am going to pummel him.”

On the 6th day of class he finally realized that there was a total of 6 guys and the rest were girls

student: “You should not put it in (as an assingment)”. teacher; “laugh out loud, im dead”

he was teaching us how to write a DBQ, the computer had a pop up saying that the battery was low, and then a spider shows up out of fucking nowhere, hanging from the ceiling. he CLAPS it, jokes about eating it, and then sets it on his desk (not in the trash can 2 feet away) so he can “deal with it later”

his endless military stories, specifically ORANGE DESERT

he wrote “if you would have had your thinking skull on” on my first DBQ

him saying “I hate this” after typing a word wrong multiple times while teaching us DBQ’s lmfao

“For the lols”

Threw a box of tissues across the room into the trash can

threw a box of tissues at a student

he had this obsession with throwing expo markers at his whiteboard, trying to make it land on the metal part so expect that a lot.

“Do you want me to drown him in a bathtub?” (which was about a student’s dog that had separation anxiety lmaoo)

Sang the rain drop, drop top song

The collars on his shirt turned up

“He’ll be beaten for that distraction” (after his son called him during his lesson and he willingly answered)

“Stay woke” 

“It was a hot boy summer for him”

expo marker landed on the metal thing for once thanks to a towel that was there

kyle (it must have been a story or something i dont remember)

He woah’d at some point

HAHA so there was a kid in my class that had got caught with a bong on the second week of school and he was suspended. when he came back to class, we were going over what the south grew in the U.S. very early on into colonization. and he used the bong kid as an example of a tobacco farmer

tried to eat a balled up paper

“important revolutionary war stuff”

“My bae, George Washington”

“They could’ve killed g-dubz, but they didn’t”

called george washington “g-dubz” frequiently

“Facts”

“Swagtastic”

he got excited over a military general (baron friedrich von steuben) for being a gay military general--”That was very well respected!”

“He had a ton of swagger”--referring to ben franklin

“His nickname was the swamp fox. You guys can call me that”

The snowball fight story--his brother was friends with a kid he hated next door. my teacher challenged the kid--Eric--to a snowball fight. In preparation, my teacher had froze snowballs, and so when he did have the fight, he LITERALLY knocked Eric out and left him on the front lawn unconscious (he was an elementary school kid)

one time he gave us the punishment quiz by accident, tried to make up for it by giving everyone the answer to #6. however, it turned out to be wrong so he just gave us all 100′s instead

another military story of the goat he bought from an old man with his buddies. unfortunately they had to kill the goat to eat, but the FACT that my teacher said this “a cute little goat--you know, baaa?” as if we didn’t know what a goat was 

He was the golf/hockey coach!! so not only would he talk about beating up the kids in the golf club

he would also do random golf swings all the goddamn time! with no gold club or ball, it was just air.

“You are about to get clowned, young lady”

pronounced pamphlet as pamplet fora good part of his teaching career (another story he told us)

“It’s definitely not the declaration of independence you mouth breather!”

George washington = bae on a powerpoint

“you tied me up real good”

“France also popped off”

Compares the Connecticut compromise to ppap (with the song and everything!)

Told someone to shut up after they suggested that Iowa was the least populated state (he’s from Iowa)

hick iowa, to be exact

Wrote 23 as 32, realized his mistake and said “oop im dyslexic”

“If it’s a purge, I’m killing everybody”

“Federalism, not onion!’

“Who’s the dumbass guy? Ducey!” (our state governor)

he got arrested once. his mugshot is on google images and everything

he got arrested bc some guy was destroying his house w a baseball bat at a party his friendw as throwing (but it was at my teachers house). my teacher respectfully punched him and brought him to the front lawn. called the cops when the guy wouldnt leave and ended up being arrested too. teacher thought his career was over and threatened the guy the entire way to the police station

“laugh out loud!”

“We beat the begeezus out of a bunch of british people”

pronounced wolf as woof

“Who was his daddy? Who’s his daddy?”

Called a swim cap a bonnet

“Kick!”--then proceeds to kick a tennis ball. before that he had just thrown it to get out of his way

“Jesus, you’re a big boy”

for like 2 weeks straight he used that same tennis ball to try and erase a whiteboard. and im not talking rubbing it on the board, he fucking threw it at the wall, getting it off little by little. he eventually gave up, though

“I’ll snot rocket into the trash can”

“Cause I realize most of you are morons”

was obsessed with the cowboy boogie

“Every time I cough, my tail bone hurts”

“Do i look normal?”

“I look like an old man”

“Shut up your faces”

“I see you back there, queen”

“Some of you girls need to learn from this article”--the article was old & about girls being submissive

“that would hurt some people’s feelings, but I’m not gonna show it hurt mine”

“He’s just--’meow’”--about his cat

he had a sweater that had his face on it, photoshopped over a boxer that a student gave him. he wore it during winter

flicked a tennis ball across the room with a hockey stick. hit the coffee thermo on his desk, stared for a couple of seconds, and THEN realized that it was open

First off, all you kids making memes about dodging the draft--we don’t want your dumbasses anyway” --continued to rant for a few minutes after that

he HATED the national anthem with a burning passion

“I’m old as shit”

also, his cat’s name IS meow cat

more expo marker throwing

“Hey there handsome”-- to the teacher next door

“Henry clay is going to haunt you until april” (unfortunately we didnt make it that far into the school year bc of covid. disappointed that i didnt get to be haunted)

Singing electric avenue

“but here’s the tea”

“Flagstaff is like--” *reaches as high as he can to put expo marker on the wall

“I’m adopting all of you, and we’re moving to saudi arabia”

teacher: “I’m gonna break bowers kneecaps in front of you. you still want to be on strike?” not bowers but a different kid: “no...?”

Cleaned the shades in the middle of him explaining something

“You know your pinky toe? this little roast beef?”

THE TURTLE SOUP STORY. when my teacher was still a kid, he found a turtle in the wild, and brought it to his grandparents house (they owned a farm). he took care of the turtle for a while, even after his grandfather found out. until one day he came home and saw blood everywhere, went to find the turtle to see it was gone. then found his grandfather chopping up the fucking turtle so they could have it for soup for dinner. his grandfather literally made him fatten up the turtle so they could eat it

“Did mr.*****--?” (referring to himself in 3rd person, also blocked out to protect privacy)

“i’m going to staple your nostrils closed. staple, staple. ‘I can’t breathe mr.*****!’ should’ve done your DBQ!!”

his pedo stache 

stood with a paper and smiled, thinking that a student was taking a picture of him when it was really the paper

doesn’t know who gaston is???

him: “I’m going to staple your noses together. One staple” Student: “*****’s piercing parlor!”

*singing* “beauty and the beast”

“I’m going to tackle you”

more random golf swinging

“What’s up (my name)?” me: hi *he then hits the bun on the top of my head on his way in the door*

And he did it again the next day

he literally made kids compete with pastries

which reminds me, he brought donuts in 2 days in a row like a week after that and make us (his first hour) take bites bc he realized he didn’t want to eat it. one of the girls was glad to take it from him, everyone else told him no

“Good morning (my name) how are you?” me: “I’m sick again... do you need help? (with the door)” him; “Actually, yes” (normally he can open the door even when his hands are full but there was a stack of pop tart boxes that were as tall as him so) i opened the door, he goes in and says, “thank you (my name), for not being rude”

the following quotes are for the Hot Seat

Student: “what do you do--?” him: “you’re in the hot seat!”

“Some people cry”

“La *****, luxurious”

“You sit here, and you stare (into the projector light)”

basically everyone in the class had to answer a question as a review. there was a stool in front of the smartboard, perfectly placed so that the projector light would LITERALLy be in your eyes. i actually got the question right on some miracle.

“2 points of weed?”

“Can I get some of that hot leaf?”

“They will make more drugs! You can’t do that much drug!”

“You guys bullied me and stole it”

“Whole rest of the nation sucked an egg”

“Whelp, let’s just kill myself”

“Do you guys know david chapel?” *sigh when everyone says no*

*some girls singing the national anthem* Him: “no! none of this, none of this!”

“Calibri’s for idiots” (the font)

“The only thing that was in--shit”

“and uncle sam--gettin lit”

“Their daddy--UH--”

“They’re going to blame the jews--my people” (he got a dna test done, he’s not actually jewish)

“Whatever you say, boomer”

“Use my words to plagiarize in college”

“I’m jewish, that’s offensive”

“Tell him he gave me instant cancer”

Me: “can i go to the bathroom?” him: “I’ll allow it”

him: “He’s antisemetic and it hurts my feelings” student: “what does that mean again?” him: “Hates jews :(”

“You guys can call me kingfish if you’d like”

~ after we said no to the nicknames, we tried to make one for him ~

student: “cornhusker!” him: “no, that’s offensive... and it’s also nebraska”

student: “corn picker!” him: “no--that sounds like a racist term or something”

“Unless corona really does take over--” (thank u, mr. for ruining the school year”

Student: “how old was she (his mom) when she had you?” him: “thirteen”

“My mom just turned 40 the other day...” (a joke)

him: “My brother got t-boned by a semi truck last night” Student: “Why are you laughing?” him: “Because he lived.”

“Yeah bc I would hide out in a public school with 300 new kids a year” (about him not living in iowa so he’s hiding out in az to get away from his “criminal record” (refer to the 1 time hes been arrested))

“Baby death?”

“Their family has more money than jesus”

*Standing outside the door yelling “CORONA” to students walking in”

“Hey I’m *****, f-word, blah, blah”

“We should fight our cats.”

“OH that’s a big chonk cat.”

“Mortal Kombat is pretty cool. I haven’t played in 25 years”

he told us in class once that we shouldnt open the front door if cops show up at a party. just to shut the blinds and be a little quieter bc the cops cant legally open the door

also one time he had a gun pointed to his face but he never finished that story bc he never liked it

during quarantine he set a DBQ as 1000 points (and i still didnt do it)

and “Here’s the tea, kiddos!”

honorable mentions: all the time he’s sent out emails bc theyre fucking hilarious

[mreugenekrabs]

personal, dont needa read

i saw a video where this girl said her parents always invalidated her feelings and told her she had no reason to cry or have emotion for anything, and i just started bawling. it was just so stark to how i feel bc my parents have NEVER taken me seriously when i explain how they treat me it's always "ur sayin we're bad parents then huh" when obviously they provided me a roof over my head and food for which im grateful for. like yes, they did all the basics but forget to realize that they CONSTNALY held it in front of my face like it wasnt something they were required to give me. like the whole i can take u out of this world retoric (which was advanced for her, i did ALL THE CHORES on some cinderella shit while my brother didnt/ doesnt have to still. i did laundry since i was 12 he doesnt, had to buy all my own school clothes he doesnt, i wasnt allowed to join band cos i was too dumb to practice but he gets piano and drum lessons. i got guitar lessons as a gift once i was 16 from my grandparents but i was like they said, too stupid and too lazy. i never got anything new like an xbox one like he has or xbox money throughout the month "just cos." as a kid. things like this just ended up making me hate and resent my mother. they were tirelessly strict, taking away cable, selling all of my games when i didnt pick them up ONE TIME, taking my phone every night at 8 pm or when i was sick so i couldnt speak to my friends. like im not ungrateful but to this day i dont feel like i have love the way my bfs mom loves him or lena/quens mom loves them. then they say theyre proud of me but proceed to tell me i have no ambition and im doing nothing w my life. it hurts to be called irresponsible by them when ive done nothing but work since i was 14, buy myself my car bc they guilted me after gifting me one of theirs. then was told they wanted me out by 18 and then i do and it's constant shaming over me struggling. constant shaming over my place of work. "are u really gonna be there all ur life." constant shaming for not eating meat. i have things holding me back but the pandemic and a state wide power outage didnt help, but nevermind that. ashley is a piece of shit who has to prove everything in the world to deserve open arms when i need help. i owe them 500$ because my tire blew out and i was short for insurance but never mind my otherwise 100% payment history. i a l w a y s pay them back and it's not unreasonable but it hurts so much when i see others' parents giving money at their poor kiddos with no payback expected and im just left to drown and give away all my tax money every year to them. legit every year ive owed them chunks of tax money just because the year was paying rent car insurance etc etc. they ALWAYS offer to pay and then its PAY US BACK RN. theyve gotten better but im sure if i only get 500$ for taxes she'll take it all no matter how broke i am. just like when i was in the middle of moving and had 1k saved but because she OFFERED TO fix my bad tires of the time, i did it, offered to pay back HALF of the total bc she offered for FREE FOR ONCE and she demanded the full anount a few months later and took ALL MY SAVINGS. :( as soon as i have the means and the time and the stability ill go back to school and move the fuck away but until then i wish theyd leave me alone. really missing being a state away. i sound like an ungrateful brat amd maybe i am i just am tired of seeing everyone around me w such loving mothers while my mom comes over to critique my weight, my YARD, my habits, hanging out w friends / drinking at 21. what she doesn't understand is even my bf is helping me survive. i live off of ramen and potatoes like...... spare emotional intelligence? spare affection beyond a hug after hitting/insulting? she tries to make up for it now, believe me they try but theyre so far up their own asses that im just an annoying brat who they just yell over. months ago bought me new shoes out of nowhere, it seems like she wants to like me but maybe im just the worst child she has :c i had to beg her to admit im a good kid. anyway.