#and i didnt get fucked up sugar crashes from it

[funpuddle]

For real if you view your sugary premade smoothies and drive thru ice coffees as Concentrates to add milk or water to they will;

Last longer

Be healthier

Be worth your money (subjective)

Taste NORMAL

[novemberdevils]

This comment is a bit too long I dont want tumblr to eat it so I will be cutting it in half and send them!

i exploded and disappeared over finals week honestly there is nothing like the crash out that happens after you finish your last exam and I never got to experience it again after finishing uni as much as I hated it but the sleep after was something else, there will be some endgame championship shenanigans if those shenanigans end up with jack winning I will be happy, honestly im about to text jack and tell him to go to any makeup store in Europe and buy a concealer they are cheaper than you would think-or at least cheaper than my home country-, you and me asking each other questions but none of us know when or if that happened is a funny pattern but you have the excuse of actually writing it but not knowing if you posted that bit or not my excuse is that I dream and ponder about them that I don’t know what is canon and what is fanon. 

I’m like genuinely obsessed with jack apologising first like unhealthy obsession because I was talking to one of childhood friends who is a therapist-she doesn’t like reading stuff because of dyslexia so I just read it to her her podcast like- and we have a session afterwards of us basically poking around and over analysing them; one of the many things she said that she feels that jack might apologise first even when he doesn’t mean it because there has been a couple pf incidents where he felt like he deserved to get an apology but he either didn’t get it or was a half assed pne so by apologising first it puts the other person in a position where if they apologise they would appear as the asshole, PLEASE I NEED MORE FIST FIGHTS but the media and fans are childish who hate having fun, jack being a pathological people pleaser is just like me I wouldve said that we could get together and talk about people pleasing but I fear it would end up with us being not able to talk because we dont want to burden the other; but jack wanting to get all the tifosi to like him? That’s the most difficult thing ever because as tifoso the only person the we all agree to love in Micheal, they should both actually just keep their mouths shut for the rest of the season I mean YOU could do it but I fear that there is no way either could keep it shut if a gun was pointed at their heads. 

NO BECAUSE I LOVE JACK BUT I WANT TO SMASH HIS HEAD like fuck you EYE need the answer I read this story from your fucking perspective and you make me want to kill you when you dont ask nico questions, no because I too canNOT wait for the end where I could reread the whole thing and scream being like YEAH THIS HAPPENED YOU TEASED THIS and believe that I will come and scream at you when that happens you are never escaping my yapping, no like the luke and jack fight scene was so well written and it did feel like a fight between siblings where you stop just shy of actually screaming what you really want to say and not sugar coat it because it always turn into a family fight and everyone hates everyone and it’s such a mess, but I had just realised that luke and jack are each other’s home in this so them fighting is Extra bad and was about to call my friend and be like OMG we didn’t discuss this but it’s 4 AM and she is a better human than me because she is asleep and im awake watching men follow a small round black puck around, luke being the one who basically is putting jack perhaps unconsciously in a box where he wanted him to react in a specific way the same way the media put him in the box pf a “good guy” and then get mad when jack doesn’t meet the expectations he didnt even know existed in the first place, no because I get jack I HATE when im venting to someone anf then they’ll tell me oh I understand something similar happened I dont give a shit about what happened to you we can discuss this later I just want you to say that our experiences were different and you could talk about your experiences without me turning the situation about me and me being there for you. 

and nico is. nico. Yup please I beg you give me a shred of nico pov I would cherish that shit, no because jack loving the scenes with nico because whatever happens between them stays between them and nico doesn’t judge him even when jack knows he has given him a lot of stuff to be judged over-the choking, the throwing the condom, the not wanting the condom at all, the begging and pleading, and the general mess- all of these stuff nico could judge him for liking but he doesn’t so that maybe jack unconsciously choosing to be with nico rather than being with someone who will judge him for not aceing a test he doesn’t know exits, BUT I need a nico pov because I need to know what he thinks about the Scenes between them without jack being a depressing, self hating, and self sabotaging asshole, yeah jack absolutely has the control he just doesn't believe that. i could go on but that's all too spoilery STOP TEASING MY POOR HEART CANT HANDLE IT; but please tell me more I need more nothing would ever stop me from wanting more.1/2

back on my answering asks bullshit. hello! this ask is old-ish but i want to clear my inbox out in order lmao my bad

the post-finals week crash out was real. like all of my finals were fake bc of the classes i was taking (like they were big projects i had to submit instead of exams) so it sucked a lot out of my poor soul. i had to make this batshit insane website about regulated airspace and it took me like 13 hours fucking. never again. No

anyways. inertia. jack is a dumb idiot but we knew that. since i am answering these asks in the Future and ch5 is out i will be full spoilery lol like i kinda forgot i opened the whole chapter with jack staring at all the bruises on his neck in his bathroom. post-six straight hours of html when i had just hit post i scrolled down a bit and went what the hell is all this… like i didn’t write it. rip. BUT LIKE I AM SO BAD AT REMEMBERING WHAT I’VE WRITTEN. EVER. esp with this fic i think at least partially because it’s so long 😭😭 like god knows maybe that happened 74 thousand words ago i don’t remember??? every time i have to cross-check something i’m working on with something that happened previously i get so mad because the ctrl+f feature on the gdoc takes like 10 years to load. yknow. because it’s over 300 fucking pages

i could psychoanalyze jack all day. shoutout to your therapist friend i’m sure she’s having a ball with jack and all of his buffoonery 😭 but srsly i love when you (+ therapist friend) analyze these idiots, i am always analyzing them myself ofc but hearing an outside opinion on it is veryexciting to me. writer brain. and your friend is probably right jack does do that. he’s a chronic apologizer for a Lot of reasons but part of it definitely is almost like. trying to corner the other person - like you said, if he apologizes and they don’t then they’ll look like the asshole. and he doesn’t inherently do it with malicious intent but yknow. sometimes he also figures someone might not be willing to offer the first apology because of like pride or something but he doesn’t care about those kinds of things in that way so he’ll just say he’s sorry. even if he isn’t, really. but then when his plan fails he just gets mad lmao

jack lowkey wants everyone to like him. and he knows that’s unrealistic so he doesn’t cling to it too much, but he is deeply a people pleaser and in his ideal world, everybody likes him. even fucking. carlos. but he does care more about certain opinions compared to others (coughs nico) so like. yeah who cares if timmy in the grandstands wants him to lose he’ll get over it, but if the people he cares about don’t care about him he’ll self-implode. (not that he cares about nico that would be crazy what—)

and yeah neither of them will Ever shut up. re: nico telling a reporter that jack was in his apartment in monaco. oops

jack does need to be kicked in the face maybe that’s what trevor is for! i will lay eight billion seeds even though my outline is loose and incomplete and pretty much just Vibes. what are my plans for canada? actually bad example i do have plans for that bc i have to write it next lmao BUT there are lot of things that i know i want to happen, just not when. so. seeds can still be laid. not telling you what the things are but only some of them are not safe for work. and some of them involve Conversations. i have somany scenes to write dear god actually fun fact i have one (1) scene from summer break written in my notes app so there’s that at least. outlines are dumb who needs a three act structure when i have ✨vibes✨

poor jack and his many boxes. i think i put some line in ch5 about expectations and them being the only thing he knows how to live up to? i don’t know. i can’t remember all 48 thousand of those words. but like. True. a lot of different people expect a lot of different things from jack and he can’t make everyone happy, so here he is crawling out of some of the boxes he doesn’t like lmao

nico is a sweetie and jack is being mean to him 💔 okay not really but also yes really. nico is kind of a dick but like. he cares. if you pay attention to him hopefully you can tell? like he says a lot of out of pocket shit but he’s not a total asshole. i don’t know. i have. so many thoughts about nico’s character but a lot of it i would still consider spoilers which means i am always vagueing when i start talking about him lmao my bad… just know. The Seeds. i am planting them. chekhov’s. No. well yes but i’m not telling you what chekhov has because i am evil 😈

[luckybitch1]

no lie i was wicked depressed today and woke up way later than i meant to so it kind of threw my american psycho routine for a loop and i didnt even meditate. i did do yoga took that walk read for an hour and all that so it couldve been worse because i almost just stayed in bed. yayy. lol. after all that i had this moment sitting outside with my dog after lunch where this wave of pessimism and hate for life took hold because i knew the next thing i had to do was start making art again, daily, like for real, like taking it seriously as a life thing like a nun and not just sporadically jerking out creativity randomly when im inspired or hit that perfect depression pitch that makes me want to explode instead of disintegrate. i hate sitting with that. usually i dont. i seriously considered just going to bed right that moment at like 4pm but miraculously that schedule i made actually helped me visualize how much time had passed really, that i hadnt wasted too much time getting low blood sugar and dissociating and i didnt have to just die because i dont fucking want to sit there and face ugghhh the goddamn future. which is what it means to me to create on purpose, with intention, with dedication with (god just kill me) commitment because i just love commitment and long term plans neither of those things makes me want to crash my car on the i95 cause a pileup and go to hell to be satans 173rd luscious bitch from miami. then i came to my senses and cleaned my entire house to my japanese bossa nova/future jams playlist annndd im officially out of reasons not to pick up the supplies im missing and get crackalackin. just kidding i have to shower

[organsinajar]

An IRL History

OOG: Back in middleschool I heard of this game called dungeons and dragons and my bff patrick played it with his family, i thought this sounded awesome but never got a chance to play

In the 9th grade (2018-2019? i think) i was finally in highschool and they had a dnd club! I signed up immediately and was brought into dellilah’s epic campaign; this campaign was really rough on the edges and was the continuation of someone else’s story, but we had a lot of fun with it. My first character was a changeling sorcerer who proved the hard way that dellilah didn’t know fall damage rules :))), soon after i played an awoken cat wizard who flew with mage hand.

The problem strikes when dellilah graduated that spring and for the next year her younger boyfriend was put in charge because nepotism~

10th grade rolls around and we have the honor of playing in chris’ epic campaign. not gonna sugar coat it, this fucking sucked. the game went at a snails pace and we couldnt do jack because his catgirl oc was the main character, but chris showed up less and less before eventually ghosting us all.

now chrisless and with a table of players and no dm i got my turn at being the guy behind the curtain and ran a few one shots with everyone’s preexisting characters. After we accepted that chris wasn’t coming back i got everyone to roll up new characters and we started a campaign of my own. The campaign is a little wonkey but we all enjoy it, i start bleeding players where a cast of [Patrick, Eric, Dakota, Heather, Joyce] became [Patrick & Joyce]

later into the year i also start a side game where patrick makes me run all of the lord of the rings (im too stupid to read these books it goes weird)

CRISIS STRIKE AGAIN! crisis being the covid-19 pandemic, no more school, no more dnd, big cliffhangers /_ \

next school year my dad makes me stay home and do online school, i hate my life. i try to get people from the club to play online. they dont

the big thing from this is im able to run a one shot testing out my post apocalypse idea of THE SEA OF BLOOD, i run it for patrick alex and rowan. they killed a dragon and it was cool; there was a followup with weird gravity shit and illithids that had the LORCUS on the walls of a dungeon but patrick just walked past it.

12 grade baybeee! last year of highschool, next year i can be cool and go to college. This year i walzed into the club and gave a brief presentation on my kickass campaign idea, apparently no one heard me but several people still thought it would be cool and joined. These legendary adventurers were [Patrick (again), Joyce (again), James, DJ]. This kickass sandbox campaign with players all in it for the game was my best experience to date! Things go shockingly smooth and we find a natural endpoint near the end of the year and leave satisfied.

Those times were alike to ancient greece, here come the sea people.

My next venture into tabletop games is attempting to run 5th edition’s curse of strahd. I assemble a team of [DJ, Rosali, Mikey, Zander, Cricket]. This was rough. No offense to most of them but it was a disaster group; i was struggling to parse this poorly organized module, dj was coming in with lofty expectations of roleplay, rosali has seen too much critical role and googled spoilers, zander didnt know what was happening and is a little too silly goofy, and mikey has just kinda been an asshole to me in the past and i accidentally talked myself into a corner and invited them during the “second chance” phase.

On the side i run a silly goofy tiny critters consisting of [DJ & Maryam] (we tried to bully ares into it but he wasnt complacent enough). this kinda went no where and fizzled out while the curse of strahd campaign crashed and burned

to salvage the wreckage i not only drop curse of strahd but drop 5e, i start running cyberpunk 2020, zander stops showing and i kick mikey out of my life (finally). Early cyberpunk goes really good but i make a fatal mistake, i assume my players care enough to follow the plot they beg for. They do not. I change the status quo dramatically putting them in a less great position game wise but it pushes for this grand plot, they resist and only desire to sit on their asses. fuck. While the group grows back in numbers to be [Rosali, Rae, Cricket, Rachelle, Zander (haunted)] i slowly lose my motivation, i get increasingly burnt out, it becomes harder and harder to run but i do it. The characters actually are motivated enough to go do something for once so it becomes a little easier.

In the background my interest grows in the OSR, i pick up old school essentials, beautiful beautiful minimalism. my desire to run something else grows but im stuck working on a minecraft tournament (ew)

The final season of minecraft heroes concludes, this is my chance! i quickly harass several people and get a shocking ratio of yes:no, i assemble [DJ, Maryam, Patrick, Alex, Gaber] is this my new dream team??

as it stands my weekly cyberpunk game is going and in just over a week my new dnd game will begin, i am hopeful

i pray this not be the end, until we meet again tomecrawler