#and i didn't figure it out until i was in my LATE TWENTIES

[subdee]

Do you mind if I ask what medication you are taking for ADHD? I've been taking viloxazine but it keeps me awake for multiple days sometimes. My doctor and I are going to meet and talk about revising the medication. I'm trying to avoid adderall.

Hi anon! I'm not currently taking any medication for ADHD. When I was in grad school I had a methylphenidate prescription, the generic version of Ritalin.

... I also couldn't get the prescription refilled because I did grad school in England and fast-acting stimulants are a schedule II controlled substance there, plus adult ADHD diagnoses weren't really a thing at the time (this was 10 years ago).

So since I only had the limited supply I brought with me I would take it "as needed" to write papers, finish assignments, write my graduate thesis... Basically I was one of those bad people who get a prescription they "don't need" just to get schoolwork done, even though I had been properly evaluated and diagnosed by my regular non pill-pushing doctor before going to the UK.

Maybe it's because I wasn't taking the medication regularly AS medication, but my experience was the same as yours. I had a lot of trouble sleeping, plus I would get a bit, I don't know if manic is the proper word for it, but energized and then crash afterward.... I don't think I've ever been as depressed as I was while prescribed methylphenidate, lol. This would happen with both the quick-release and slow-release pills and actually the slow-release ones were worse because they were at a higher dose.

So my experience with ADHD medication is mixed because on the one hand I did finish my thesis on time and on the other hand it wasn't something I could continue long term, and ultimately I decided to stop taking it and find other ways to focus.

...and also, I decided to not pursue a career in social statistics that would have required a lot of intense focus on solitary projects for long periods of time. Instead I work in an urban high school where we're always in crisis mode and there are immediate consequences if I don't plan my lessons well enough and that motivates me, lol.

It's funny, as a kid I always considered that I had a shorter attention span than others, and also that it was more variable than others and less under my conscious contro (Thinking, Fast and Slow is a good book about this).

But as I've become an (older) adult and settled, and also as more and more people spend more and more time looking at screens -- we were the ONLY family with a desktop computer at home in my neighborhood when I was in middle school -- lately it seems like the average attention span has shortened. And mine is actually fairly long now in comparison. So I don't feel the need to take medication anymore, really.

The non-medication thing that helped me the most, btw, when I was job-hunting after grad school was a project to journal my moods / energy hour by hour throughout the day. Because what I realized was that my main problem was that I didn't **know** how I was feeling, so I couldn't manage my energy by myself by adjusting my schedule, resting when needed, drinking coffee, etc.

Once I gained the magic skill to know and manage my own moods that helped tremendously. And I want to say that the ADHD medication, although I didn't keep using it, really helped with that by exaggerating my attention swings and making them predictable. Not just was it easier to recognize the exaggerated moods, but also I let go of a lot of ideas I'd had about what I "should" be able to do and a lot of moralizing I'd been doing about being a lazy good for nothing, etc. Because how could it be a moral issue or a question of willpower when you could change it with a pill?

For this reason, I think everyone should try a mind-altering or mood-altering drug at some point in their lives, even if they ultimately decide to not take any drugs. I think it gives you empathy for other people whose brains work differently from yours, and a sense of perspective about your own brain.

I'm sure this isn't what you wanted, maybe try asking in a ADHD medication subreddit or on ask.metafilter.com. I think you'd get a lot of interesting advice.

[librababe99]

Older, Wiser, Yours

❥・CW: Female Reader, Old Man! Logan, Age Gap (early twenties), MDNI 18+, sexual themes. ❥・Word Count: 1695

Summary: Despite being on the run for the last few weeks you find solace in Logan's arms and a small moment blossoms into something so much more...

A/N: The Old man! Logan fics have had a grip on me these past few days...so I figured i'd throw my own little story into the mix🤭Comments and feedback are appreciated!

(Masterlist)

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The dim glow of the neon lights outside your motel window bathed the room in a soft, purple hue, flickering intermittently as the sign buzzed faintly. It was late—far too late for you to be awake—but sleep was elusive these days.

You sighed, pulling the threadbare blanket tighter around your shoulders, your thoughts swirling in a relentless tide. The day's events had been exhausting, yet your mind wouldn't quiet, haunted by memories that refused to stay buried.

The door creaked open, and you turned to see Logan stepping inside, his broad frame filling the doorway. He was older than you—much older—and it showed in the lines etched into his rugged face, the streaks of silver in his dark hair, and the heaviness in his eyes.

"You're still up," he grumbled, his voice rough as gravel. He kicked the door shut behind him and shrugged off his jacket, hanging it on the back of a chair.

You nodded, offering a small, tired smile. "Couldn't sleep."

Logan's gaze softened as he walked over, his heavy boots making the worn floorboards creak under his weight. He sat down beside you on the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. The two of you had been on the run for weeks now, moving from one dingy motel to another, always one step ahead of the people who wanted you both dead.

You had always admired him, long before you knew him. He was a legend, a man who had seen and survived more than most could even fathom. But now that you were with him, side by side in the constant fight for survival, that admiration had evolved into something deeper—something you hadn’t expected.

Logan was older, yes, but that didn’t matter to you. You were drawn to him, to his strength and his quiet, unspoken care. You could see through the tough exterior, the gruffness he wore like armor, and recognized the scars that weren’t just on his skin.

"What's on your mind, kid?" Logan asked, his voice softer now, though it still held that gruff edge. He reached out, brushing a strand of hair away from your face with surprising tenderness.

You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes for a moment. "Just... everything. It feels like it's all catching up with me."

Logan's hand lingered on your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin. He didn't say anything, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes. He understood—he always did.

The silence stretched between you, comfortable yet charged with an unspoken tension. The past few weeks had brought you closer, the two of you relying on each other in ways you hadn't expected. But there was something more between you, something simmering just beneath the surface, waiting for the right moment to break free.

Logan’s hand slid down to your neck, his calloused fingers tracing the line of your jaw. Your breath hitched as he leaned in closer, his forehead resting against yours. His breath was warm against your skin, the scent of cigar smoke and whiskey lingering faintly.

"You know," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, "you don't have to carry all this alone."

You opened your eyes, meeting his gaze. The way he was looking at you—like you were something precious, something worth protecting—made your heart ache.

"I know," you whispered back, your voice trembling with the vulnerability you were feeling. "But it's hard to let go."

Logan’s hand slid down your neck to your shoulder, pulling you closer until you were pressed against him. His other arm wrapped around your waist, holding you securely. The warmth of his body seeped into you, and for the first time in what felt like ages, you felt safe.

"You don't have to be strong all the time," Logan said, his lips brushing against your forehead. "It's okay to let someone else take care of you."

Your eyes stung with unshed tears, the weight of his words sinking deep into your chest. You hadn't realized how much you needed to hear that—how much you needed to feel cared for, protected.

Before you could think, before you could second-guess yourself, you tilted your head up and pressed your lips to his. The kiss was soft, tentative at first, as if you were both testing the waters. But when Logan's hand tightened around your waist, pulling you even closer, the kiss deepened, becoming more urgent, more consuming.

It was like a dam breaking, all the pent-up emotions, the fear, the longing, flooding out in that single moment. Logan kissed you like he was starving for it, like he needed you just as much as you needed him.

You melted into him, your hands fisting in his shirt as you pulled him closer, desperate to feel more of him, to drown out everything else. His hands roamed your back, tracing the curve of your spine, and you shivered at the sensation, heat pooling low in your belly.

When you finally broke apart, gasping for breath, Logan rested his forehead against yours again. His breath was ragged, his eyes dark with an intensity that sent a thrill through you.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked, his voice rough and low, filled with a gentleness that made your heart swell.

You nodded, your hands sliding up to cup his face. "I've never been more sure of anything."

Logan let out a breath, something between a sigh and a low, primal growl, before capturing your lips with his once more. This time, the kiss was slower, more deliberate, as if he was savoring every moment, every sensation. His lips moved against yours with an intoxicating mixture of tenderness and raw hunger, his stubble grazing your skin as his hands began to roam your body with a possessive, almost reverent touch.

His fingers were everywhere, tracing the curves and contours of your form with a deliberate slowness that made your breath hitch and your skin tingle. He moved with a sense of purpose, as if he was learning every inch of you, committing the feel of your body to memory. The heat between you intensified, all the worries within you became irrelevant, obliterated by the fire that burned in his touch, by the way he worshiped your body with an unspoken promise of what was to come.

Logan’s hands slid under your shirt, his rough palms skimming over your bare skin, sending shivers down your spine. When his fingers found the clasp of your bra, he hesitated for just a moment, as if giving you one last chance to stop. But when you leaned into him, your body arching in invitation, his restraint snapped. The fabric was cast aside, and his hands cupped your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your hardened nipples with a touch that was both gentle and commanding.

His lips left yours to follow the path of his hands, trailing kisses down your neck and across your collarbone, until his mouth closed over one of your breasts, sucking and teasing with a skill that made you gasp. The sound you made was enough to spur him on, his free hand sliding down your body to the waistband of your pants, fingers dipping to find the heat that built within your core. 

The room was filled with the sound of your heavy breathing, of the soft moans that escaped your lips as Logan explored you with a sensuality that made your toes curl. He moved with the confidence of a man who knew exactly what he was doing, who knew exactly how to touch you to make you unravel beneath him.

When he finally pulled back, his chest heaving as he caught his breath, Logan cupped your face in his large hands, his thumb tenderly caressing your cheek. The way he looked at you—like you were something precious, something worth protecting—made your heart stutter. His gaze was filled with a depth of emotion that took your breath away, a combination of desire, affection, and something else that you couldn't quite name but felt deep in your bones.

"You're something else, kid," he murmured, his voice rough but softened by the unmistakable affection in his tone. His thumb traced your swollen lower lip, as if he couldn’t bear to stop touching you, his eyes dark with the unspoken promise of what was still to come.

A smile tugged at your lips as you leaned into his touch, feeling the warmth of his hand seep into your skin. "So are you," you whispered, your voice laced with all the unspoken feelings that had been building between you.

Logan’s gaze held yours for a moment longer before he gently guided you back onto the bed, his arm wrapping securely around your waist as he pulled you close. The heat of his body enveloped you, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear grounding you in the moment. You rested your head on his chest, letting the soothing rise and fall of his breathing lull you into a rare sense of peace.

But even as you lay there, content in the warmth of his embrace, you could feel the tension simmering just beneath the surface, the unfulfilled desire that lingered in the air between you. It was a promise, a quiet understanding that this was only the beginning, that there was so much more to explore between you.

"Get some rest," Logan whispered, his voice a low rumble as he pressed a lingering kiss to the top of your head. "I'll be here when you wake up."

And for the first time in a long time, you felt safe enough to believe him, safe enough to let the world and all its worries fade away.

With Logan beside you, his strong arms holding you close, the weight of the world didn’t seem so heavy anymore. Instead, there was only the quiet comfort of his presence, the promise of protection and care that you had found in his embrace. And as your eyes drifted shut, the heat of his body pressed against yours, you knew that whatever came next, you wouldn’t have to face it alone.

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Taglist: @nonamevenus

[flamingpudding]

Cassiopea and Orion

Ellie had a plan. She promised she had one. This wasn't like when Clocky would sent her off on a mission through time with nothing more but a little note with a cryptic message on what to do.

Danny had given her clear instruction. Before one of her many travels to see the world, Danny, in his mid twenties and she in her late teens, had taken her aside once. Telling her about specific instruction she should follow, should she ever find herself in a moment of need, and Danny wasn't able to help her.

Well, now she was in that kind of situation. Amity Park was destroyed with no survivors. Vlads castle was no more. Both Dan and her got deaged, but Dan had to be put in a frozen state when he started to destabilize. And Danny, he had gotten captured by the GIW shoving her out of harms way and telling her to remember what he told her before.

Ellie was pretty sure Danny was telling her to follow the emergency instructions.

So here she was now. In Gotham. Keeping to the shadows and trying to find her way around.

No one ever bothered to tell her how hard it was to navigate through a city like Gotham. You would think it would be easy to find some guy running around at night in an armored spandex furry costume.

But no, here she was, in a random alley. In a city, Danny had specifically told her to avoid it unless the emergency instruction came into play. Maybe she should just steal a map.

She was contemplatingly staring at a gas station for that until she noticed a shadow jumping over the roof tops. It took her only a second to decide on her next action. Ellie was pressed on time after all.

"Hey you!" She shouted loudly flying up to follow that shadow. "Wait up!"

Thankfully, the shadow listened and stopped on the next rooftop toward her. She insanity noticed it tensing. Now, she noticed that the shadow was a kid. He looked small, and Ellie figured he was probably around 11 or 12.

"You are one of the Bees and Birds, right?" She questioned once she floated a bit closer. Also the kid tensed up.

"You mean Bats and Birds." The kid clicked his tongue at her, crossing their arms.

"Bees, Bats, who cares. My question is you know the big bad bee, right?" She waved the kid of, she had more pressing matter than getting their animals right. "I need to get a message to him."

The kid clicked their tongue once more, huffing and muttering something she couldn't hear. Probably talking to someone on a com. Either way, Ellie took his silence as a form of telling her to continue.

"Can you tell the big bad bee-" "Bat" "-the following?" She ignored the kid cutting in trying to get her message across and follow Danny's instructions to a T.

"Cassiopea is calling out to Orions Nursery before Rho dies to help her youngest."

There was long, drawn-out silence, and the kid was hissing something into coms. Ellie fidget with her finger nervously. Going through Danny's emergency instructions through her mind again until she hear a thud close to her and wirled around.

With wide blue glowing eyes, she looked up at the man dressed like a bat for a couple of seconds before taking on a defensive position. Eyes now narrowed at the man that was clearly studying her.

"I was under the impression that Phantom's youngest child was older. You appear to be no older than five."

"Yea well shit happened!" She shot back, still unsure if she could trust the man even if he mentioned Danny's hero alias. Her hands started to glow slightly as she prepared to attack in case things went back. But the man didn't appear to be phased by it. Not like the kid that was tensing up.

"You will be safe with us. But what happened to Phantom?"

Ellie eyes flicked over to the other kid that had now come closer to stand next to the bat guy before looking back to the big guy. She did not drop her stance yet. Still unsure of how much trust she can put here despite what Danny had told her, she had not yet heard the right response.

The man appeared to sense her distrust, as he kneeled to be on eye level with her. "Jupiter and Rho Cas will not be harmed. Orion gave Cassiopea his word."

Finally, Ellie relaxed, dropping her defensive stance but still watching the man with narrowed eyes. She hesitated a short moment before carefully saying her next words, hoping the man knew enough to k ow the grave meaning behind them.

"Phantom lost his haunt."

[yamujiburo]

I get the feeling that Ash gets his pokemon trainer talent from his mother (making his father even more of a deadbeat failure in the main series timeline)- but Delia never really had a chance to figure out and use this talent.

This is more or less canon! The novel talks about how badly she wanted to be a trainer but her mother didn’t let her when she was 10. In the show, there’s a couple instances where she battles (really well) and Ash’s friends comment that “that’s where Ash got it from”

“Hanako herself loved Pokémon and wished she could have become a trainer too.

If she didn't have to take over Masara House as the only daughter of her family, Hanako would have ignored any opposition from her mother and left home to become a Pokémon Trainer when she was ten, just like Satoshi.

When becoming a Pokémon Trainer, it's always better to start young.

But it's not too late to start as a teenager.

If there was anyone else who could take over Masara House, Hanako would have left it to them and left town.

She hadn't given up yet.

However...

When she was 18... While Hanako's mother was still alive.

There was a young man hoping to become a Pokémon Trainer who stayed at Masara House and she fell in love. The relationship escalated quickly and in practically the blink of the eye they were married.

And then in another blink of the eye, the young man left town, never to return again.

And in yet another blink of the eye, her mother fell ill and passed away, leaving her with only Masara House and the newborn Satoshi.

If you were to ask her if she still loved that young man... Satoshi's father... her answer would be a flat “no”.

After leaving a woman like Hanako alone for over ten years, she wouldn't even get mad at him if he returned, she'd simply ignore him outright.

Up until the day Satoshi left home on a journey to become a Pokémon Trainer, Hanako had hung in there all by herself.

It's only natural... Hanako thought to herself.

Satoshi was her beloved child. She'd take care of him until the day he left. It was her responsibility.

Hanako had decided to continue doing her best on her own... But in the morning, Satoshi would finally be leaving.

She was sad to see Satoshi leave home, yet also somewhat excited.

... When the morning comes, I'll be free. I'm still in my twenties... It's a bit too late to become a Pokémon Trainer, but there's lots of things I could do.

Hanako briefly reconsidered the hundreds of proposals she'd rejected... Ahaha... I'd rather not... Lalala.

Hanako felt like a student about to start a summer vacation without any homework.

She then came to her senses.

Satoshi isn't leaving until the morning. She had to keep being his mother up until then.

Hanako nodded to herself and said “yeah”.”

[lostfracturess]

remedies and reasons | ch. 03

pairing — professor geto x law student reader

summary — this wasn’t supposed to happen. not that miserable internship at the law firm you hated, not him becoming your doctor, and definitely not that drunken night at the bar. but he helped, and god, you needed a friend. and he did too. except it's never just friendship with him, is it? it could be perfect—messy, complicated, but perfect. if only his heart wasn’t already taken.

word count — 11.8 k

warnings — 18+ ONLY. contains explicit sexual content, age difference (10 years), doctor-patient relationship, smoking, alcohol use, mature themes, and depictions of illness. reader discretion is advised.

author's note — hey everyone! i'm back with a new chapter, and i know it's been a while. this time, we're diving back into suguru's head to explore his conflicting feelings. as always, this story is a spin-off of symptoms and causes, starting after chapter 12, but it can be read as a standalone. this chapter takes place during the events of chapter 14, where things were pretty intense, so get ready for suguru's perspective on those events, plus some extra bonding time with a certain law student.

series masterlist + playlist + ao3 + wattpad

<- prev chapter | next chapter ->

(note: r&r reader)

What a strange fucking day.

The coffee from the hospital cafeteria tasted like burnt rubber, leaving a bitter aftertaste that matched my state perfectly. Everything felt slightly out of sorts, like the world had shifted two inches to the left while I wasn't looking, and I was the only one who noticed.

I'd put on mismatched socks this morning, didn't notice until I was already at work. Stepped in a puddle that somehow soaked through my supposedly waterproof shoes. Small things, really. Inconsequential. But they piled up like evidence that I wasn't quite myself lately.

And on top of that, my mind kept drifting back to the sports bar, to easy laughter and surprisingly good conversation. To someone who actually managed to make me forget about work for a few hours. It was... nice. Different. Unsettling. Probably why I let things get carried away. 

What the hell had gotten into me?

I wasn't the type to hook up in bar bathrooms. I didn't do reckless. I was the responsible one, always cleaning up other people's messes — usually Satoru's. 

Yet here I was, distracted and unfocused because of a law student who somehow got under my skin without me even realizing it. Frustrating. That's what it was.

I stared at the ruined samples in front of me, the third batch I'd had to throw out this morning. A stupid beginner's mistake — mixing the reagents in the wrong order like some first-year med student. The solution had turned an ugly shade of red instead of the pale blue it was supposed to be, completely useless now.

I slammed the test tube rack down harder than necessary, making the glass containers rattle. A few drops of the failed experiment splashed onto my lab coat. Perfect. Just perfect.

I glanced at Satoru across the lab bench. He'd been staring at the same equation for twenty minutes now, his leg bouncing that infuriating rhythm that made me want to stab him with my pen. The same nervous energy that had been radiating off him all morning. Neither of us was really focused on work it seemed.

"You going to tell me what's wrong, or do I have to guess?" I finally asked, perhaps partly to distract myself from my own thoughts.

He blinked, as if just remembering I was there. "Nothing's wrong."

"Really? Because you've been glaring at that formula for like an hour."

"Maybe I just enjoy looking at my own handwriting. It's pretty, isn't it? Unlike yours."

"At least the nurses can read my prescriptions without three callbacks."

"That was one time." He spun in his chair to face me. "And the pharmacy figured it out eventually."

I need a cigarette.

No, I need several cigarettes.

I was about to retort when a soft knock echoed through the lab. We both turned toward the door, and suddenly all my annoyance vanished. It was her.

Standing there in the doorway, clutching a folder to her chest, looking almost nervous. Her eyes darted between Satoru and me, and I could see the moment she registered the awkwardness of the situation.

She was wearing a crisp blazer, her hair pulled back neatly — every inch the professional law intern. Maybe it was the confused sleep deprivation talking, but I swore I caught a hint of pink creeping across her cheeks when our eyes briefly met before she looked away.

"Oh," she said. "I didn't expect to find you both here."

Satoru straightened up, his demeanor shifting instantly to doctor mode. "Everything okay? Is it your medication?"

"No, no," she quickly assured him. "Actually, I'm here about the... um, the legal consultation from the other day?" She held up the folder. "Mr. Higurama asked me to get both your signatures on these forms."

"More paperwork?" Satoru groaned theatrically. "They really love their forms at that firm, don't they? I bet they have forms for their forms."

She laughed — not the bold, uninhibited laugh from the bar, but something smaller, more contained. Professional. It was strange seeing her like this, all sharp edges and formal wear, when just days ago we'd been trading stories over beer and darts.

"Well," she said, stepping fully into the lab, "we do love forms, yes." Her eyes landed on the mess of failed experiments on our benches, the chaos of scribbles on the whiteboard. I just now realized how utterly chaotic the whole lab was. "Bad time?"

"No," I said, maybe too quickly. "Just a rough morning in the lab."

"Rough morning?" Satoru raised an eyebrow. "This is the first time I've seen him mess up this experiment since university. Usually he's annoyingly perfect."

I shot him a look that promised murder. Or at least severe bodily harm.

She glanced between us, a hint of unease, her fingers tightening on the folder as she took a small step back. "Should I come back later? When there's less...chaos?"

"No, it's fine," I said, reaching for the folder. Our fingers brushed as she handed it over, and I found myself wondering if she was still thinking about that night too. Probably not. She was just here doing her job.

I opened the folder, scanning the documents inside. More forms about professional conduct and boundaries. The irony wasn't lost on me.

"These need both our signatures?" I asked.

She nodded. "Mr. Higurama was very specific about that."

I grabbed a pen and signed where indicated, then passed the folder to Satoru. As he signed, I caught her stifling a yawn.

"Long night?" I asked.

"Just law student things," she replied with a tired smile. "Coffee and case studies until 3 AM."

"Sounds familiar," I said, thinking of my own sleepless night, though for very different reasons. "Though I prefer my all-nighters with better coffee than whatever they serve at that firm."

"Our coffee is not that bad actually—"

Before she could finish, Satoru thrust the folder at her. "Here," he said. "All signed and ready to go back to the fun police." He glanced at his phone, then suddenly stood up. "Speaking of which, I need to go. Got a... thing."

A thing? I raised an eyebrow at him, but he was already halfway to the door. "Don't mess up any more experiments, Suguru," he called over his shoulder, and then he was gone, leaving us alone in the now quiet space.

She stood there, folder clutched to her chest, looking unsure. "Is Dr. Gojo okay? He seems a bit on edge."

"Not more than usual, I guess."

"So that failed experiment over there?" She gestured past me with her finger.

I glanced at my failed experiment, which had now turned an alarming shade of green that definitely wasn't in any textbook I'd ever read. Either I'd just discovered a new chemical compound, or I was about to violate several safety protocols. Possibly both.

"Observant. They teach you that in law school?"

"No, that's just natural talent," she said, some of that bar night ease creeping back into her voice. "Though I have to say, watching things change color isn't usually part of my job description."

"Consider it a bonus lesson in chemistry." Before I could overthink it, I heard myself asking, "Have you had lunch yet?"

She hesitated, shifting the folder in her arms. "I should probably get these back to Mr. Higurama—" Just then, the folder slipped from her grasp, papers scattering across the lab floor. "Oh god," she muttered, immediately dropping to her knees to gather them.

In her haste to collect the papers, she bumped into the lab bench. The rack of test tubes rattled precariously. I lunged forward, managing to catch the rack just as it started to tip, but not before one of the tubes spilled its contents onto the counter.

"I'm so sorry!" She scrambled to her feet, papers clutched messily to her chest, her cheeks now bright red. "I swear I wasn't trying to sabotage your experiments. Though they were already ruined anyway—not that that makes it better! I just meant—"

I watched her frantically trying to collect the papers, a small smile tugging at my lips despite the chaos. "I'll pay," I offered, cutting off her rambling. "Besides, we should probably get going, that failed experiment's probably going to turn purple next and who knows what happens then."

She paused mid-reach for another paper, looking up at me with wide eyes. "Are you threatening me with your failed experiment to get me to have lunch with you?"

"Is it working?"

She glanced at the door where Satoru had disappeared, then back at me, fidgeting with the crumpled papers in her arms. "You know what? Yeah. If you really want to—I mean, after I almost destroyed your lab—"

"Well, you're certainly making my morning more interesting."

She tried to smooth out the crumpled papers, only managing to wrinkle them more. "Oh, I mean—Is that a good thing? Because I can't tell if you're complimenting me or—"

"Come on, Attorney, let's get you away from any breakable objects," I said, already shrugging off my lab coat and heading for the door. "I know a good place and trust me after that, you'll never defend that law firm sludge again."

─────── ౨ৎ ───────

(note: r&r reader)

The café was tucked away in a narrow alley, the kind of place you'd walk right past unless you knew what you were looking for. Inside, the air was thick with the scent of freshly ground coffee beans and something sweet baking in the back.

She looked around, taking in the worn leather chairs and mismatched mugs, the walls lined with old medical textbooks and vintage anatomy charts. "So this is where all the doctors hide out?"

"Best kept secret in the hospital district," I said, leading her to a small table by the window. "Though I'm pretty sure I'm violating some sacred code by bringing a lawyer here."

The owner, an elderly man who'd been serving coffee to sleep-deprived medical staff for longer than I'd been alive, brought over two cups without us having to order. The coffee was served in glass cups, the dark liquid nearly black, with a perfect crema on top.

"What is this?" she asked, leaning forward to inspect the cup.

"Just trust me."

She raised an eyebrow. "The last time a doctor told me to 'just trust them,' I ended up with a prescription that made me sleep for sixteen hours straight."

"Satoru's work, I assume?"

"Maybe."

I watched as she lifted the cup, inhaling. Her eyes widened slightly. "Oh."

"Try it," I said, finding myself oddly invested in her reaction.

She took a careful sip, and I couldn't help but smile as her expression changed — surprise, then joy, then something close to awe.

"Holy shit," she whispered, staring at the cup like it held the secrets of the universe.

"Better than the law firm sludge?"

"Okay, fine, you win." She took another sip, closing her eyes. "What is this?"

"Family secret, apparently. The owner won't tell anyone, not even me." I picked up my own cup. "Though I have my theories."

"Care to share?"

"Doctor-patient confidentiality."

She kicked me lightly under the table. "I'm not your patient."

"No," I agreed, the words carrying more weight than I'd intended. "You're not."

She looked away, suddenly very interested in the anatomy chart on the wall, a slight flush creeping up her neck. I caught myself enjoying her reaction more than I probably should.

"You know," I said, breaking the silence, "you still haven't shown me your paintings."

Her eyes snapped back to mine. "What?"

"At the bar, you promised to show me your work someday." I took another sip of coffee. "Unless that was just the alcohol talking."

"I did not promise anything," she protested, but her fingers fidgeted with the handle of her cup. "And I don't really show my work to people."

I leaned back in my chair, studying her. "Not even to doctors who hold your hand during MRI scans?"

"Especially not to doctors who do such unethical things, Dr. Geto." But there was a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

"I seem to recall you saying my hands were very good or something."

Her cheeks flushed pink, and she fumbled with her coffee cup, nearly sending it sloshing over the rim. "I did not say that."

"No? Must have been another patient then."

"Can we please pretend I never said anything about your hands?" She shifted in her seat, clearly flustered. "Or anything else that happened that day?"

"Show me your paintings and I might consider selective amnesia."

"Are you actually blackmailing me with my own embarrassing moments?" She leaned forward slightly. "I should sue you for violation of doctor-patient confidentiality."

"Please don't. I have enough lawyers breathing down my neck as it is."

"Oh, I know." Her lips twitched into a smile. "Your case files take up an entire cabinet at the firm."

"Now who's the unethical one?" I couldn't help but smile. "Pretty sure those files are supposed to be confidential."

"See the positive." The corner of her mouth quirked up, and she propped her chin on her hand. Her sleeve slid down slightly. "I can help you. Though my rates are quite steep—one painting viewing equals one legal consultation."

"Brutal negotiation tactics. They're teaching you well at that firm."

She bit her lip, fighting back a grin. The gesture was distracting in a way I didn't want to examine too closely. Then, she wrapped her hands around her cup, leaning forward slightly. "Speaking of teaching, how's that research project going?"

I groaned, running a hand through my hair. "Can we not? I'd rather hear about your law stuff."

"Oh god no," she groaned in return, slumping back in her chair. "Let's not talk about that either."

"That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea. Just endless stacks of papers and Chad being... well, Chad."

"Chad?" I raised an eyebrow.

"This awful intern who thinks he owns the place because his dad's some stupid partner. Like, today he tried to take credit for my research on the Yamamoto case, which, by the way, I spent three nights working on. And then he had the nerve to correct my citations in front of everyone, except he was wrong. He was completely wrong, and everyone knew it, but nobody said anything because, you know, his dad and everything—" 

She stopped abruptly, her eyes widening as if just realizing she'd been rambling again. Her hands fluttered nervously around her coffee cup. "Sorry, I'm talking too much, aren't I?"

"No," I said, surprising myself with how much I meant it. "I like hearing you talk."

Her eyes met mine, startled. "You do?"

"Yeah. It's... refreshing, I mean hearing about anything that's not related to someone's blood and lab work." I traced the rim of my cup with my finger. "Is this Chad giving you trouble? Because I could always stop by the firm, maybe have a word with him."

She let out a startled laugh, then immediately looked embarrassed by how loud it was. A few other people glanced our way, making her shrink slightly in her seat.

"What, are you offering to intimidate him for me?"

"I can be quite intimidating when I want to be."

"That's a weird thing to say about oneself."

"You say way more weird things." I glanced at my watch and couldn't help but sigh. "Speaking of intimidating, I've got a class of overconfident med students waiting."

"Oh." She looked up. "Right, of course."

I should leave it at that. Get up, go back to work, stop whatever this is before it gets complicated. I have enough on my plate with the research, with Satoru acting weird, with everything else. The last thing I need is to get involved with—

My hand brushed against the crumpled paper in my coat pocket. That flyer some art student had thrust into my hands this morning at the campus entrance, just like they did to everyone else rushing past. 

"Actually, there's this art exhibition next weekend at the city gallery."

What the hell am I doing?

She blinked at me, her coffee cup frozen halfway to her mouth. "Are you... are you asking me to go to an art exhibition?"

This is stupid. I don't even like art exhibitions. They're crowded and pretentious, and I have better things to do with my weekend. Like work. Or sleep. Or literally anything else. I'm really not quite myself lately.

"I mean, if you want to. I don't understand much about art, but—" I rubbed the back of my neck. "If you show me what to look for, I'm sure I'll like it."

That sounded so lame. Why am I even doing this?

"You mean that?" she asked. "Because you don't have to pretend to be interested in art just because I—"

"I want to," I cut her off. "Besides, maybe you can explain to me why people pay millions for paintings of soup cans."

She laughed, that genuine, unguarded sound from the bar, and I was glad I hadn't thrown the flyer away. "Those are Warhol, and they're actually a commentary on mass production and consumer culture in—" She stopped herself, cheeks flushing. "And I'm doing it again."

"Saturday at 6?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said softly. "Saturday at 6 sounds good."

As I stood to leave, the absurdity of the situation hit me. Here I was, voluntarily signing up for an afternoon of art appreciation. What was wrong with me? 

The closest thing to art in my apartment is that anatomy poster Satoru got me as a joke last Christmas. If he ever found out about this, I'd never hear the end of it. But somehow, I couldn't bring myself to care.

It wasn't until I was back in my office at the university, staring at a stack of research papers, that I realized something strange — I hadn't smoked since morning. My usual lunchtime cigarette break had come and gone without me even noticing. 

My pack sat untouched in my coat pocket. I pulled it out now, turning it over in my hands, and somehow I found myself oddly looking forward to learning about soup cans.

─────── ౨ৎ ───────

(note: s&c reader)

The lecture went fine. It always did.

Talk about neurons, synapses, action potentials. Watch sleepy med students pretend to take notes while secretly checking their phones. Answer the same questions I'd answered a hundred times before. Rinse and repeat.

Now, hours later, I was back in the lab. The chaos from this morning had been methodically cleaned away. New solutions mixed, properly this time. Everything in its place, color-coded and labeled with my precise handwriting.

The lab was quiet at this hour. Just the soft hum of equipment and the occasional footsteps in the hallway outside. It was peaceful, in its own way. Or maybe just lonely.

I checked my watch — 5:47 PM. I should probably head home, but then what? Watch some mindless TV show? Read another research paper? Order takeout that would sit in my fridge until it went bad? God, when did my life become this predictable?

The solution in front of me turned the correct shade of blue this time. Finally. I made a note in my lab book, but my mind wandered. About Satoru's strange behavior. About her. About how she looked at Satoru like he hung the moon and stars just for her.

I pushed away from the bench so forcefully my chair squeaked against the floor. My hands were already reaching for my cigarettes before I made it to the window. The night air was cool against my face as I lit up, inhaling deeply.

This was exactly what I didn't need to think about. Not now. Not ever. Focus on the research. On the failed experiments. On anything else but the ache that threatened to consume me whenever I let my mind wander in her direction.

The cigarette burned down too quickly. I lit another one immediately. What kind of person fell for their best friend's girlfriend? What kind of friend was I to even—

No. Stop that train of thought right there.

The smoke curled up into the night sky, hoping it would carry with it all the things I couldn't let myself feel. All the words I couldn't say. All the moments I'd had to watch them together, pretending my heart wasn't being torn to shreds. I'm pathetic.

I exhaled another cloud of smoke into the night air. Maybe that was why I asked about the art exhibition. God knew I could use the distraction. From the research, from Satoru, from her.

And she — there was something in her eyes. That familiar look of someone drowning in circumstances they couldn't control. She needed a break too, probably more than she admitted. Maybe this Chad was partly responsible. Speaking of Chad—

I tapped my cigarette against the windowsill. It wouldn't be hard to figure out his real name. Law firms kept records of their interns, and with his father being a partner. One quick search in the hospital database and I could probably find something interesting in his medical history. Everyone had secrets. Maybe something embarrassing. Something that would make him think twice about—

What the hell am I thinking? I stubbed out my cigarette, leaving a black smear. Great. Now I'm contemplating abusing my position to dig up dirt on some spoiled law intern. Real professional, Suguru. Really living up to that ethical conduct seminar.

Though the thought of his smug face when he tried to take credit for her work—

No. Absolutely not. I'm better than that.

I lit another cigarette, trying to ignore how satisfying the idea was. I leaned back in my chair, staring at the ceiling. Saturday at 6.

At least that was something to look forward to. Something normal. Well, as normal as anything could be when you were a neurosurgeon voluntarily going to an art exhibition with a law student who was also your patient, technically. What did people even wear to art exhibitions?

My pen tapped against the lab book as my phone buzzed.

[2:34 PM] s&c reader: Need any help in the lab today? I can come in if you want.

[2:35 PM] Me: Just boring prep work left. Take the day off.

Three dots appeared, then disappeared. Then appeared again.

[2:37 PM] s&c reader: You sure? I can help with the prep too.

[2:37 PM] Me: Rest. Doctor's orders.

[2:40 PM] s&c reader: I hate when you say that.

I found myself smiling at my phone, picturing her frustrated face as she typed that. She was probably pouting right now, hunched over her textbooks in the library, annoyed that I'd pulled rank. That stubborn set of her jaw when she tried not to admit defeat. Just like him.

The smile faded as quickly as it had come. I immediately set my phone down and took a deep breath. I should be thinking about the research. About tumor markers and treatment protocols. Not about my student who was probably still in the library despite my orders to rest.

No. Not about her at all.

I glanced at my phone again, fighting the urge to text her back. Focus, I told myself. Work. Don't do anything stupid. God, this day really couldn't get any more fucking frustrating. 

─────── ౨ৎ ───────

(note: s&c reader)

The lab was quiet.

I'd been at this for hours, my eyes straining in the bright light of the laminar flow hood, my back aching from hunching over the bench. The familiar chemical smell of ethanol lingered in my nostrils from the endless rounds of sterilizing equipment. 

I straightened up, rolling my shoulders in a futile attempt to ease the knots. A glance at the clock told me it was late, far later than I'd intended to stay. 

The steady hum of the cell incubator behind me had become white noise hours ago, punctuated only by the occasional click of the temperature regulator. I was exhausted, ready to call it a night. But I couldn't leave, not yet.

There was still work to be done, still samples to process. The micropipette tips rattled in their box as I reached for another one, the sound sharp in the empty lab. My stomach rumbled in response. 

I sighed, tugging the elastic from my hair and running my fingers through the dark strands before twisting them back into a loose knot. A few pieces escaped, falling around my face as I looked over to the window, staring out at the darkening sky. 

The sun had already dipped below the horizon, the last streaks of orange fading into deep purple. The campus was quiet, most of the other staff and students long gone for the day.

My stomach growled again, reminding me that I hadn't eaten since lunch as I returned to work. I weighed my options—power through these last samples and face my empty fridge at home, or brave the vending machine downstairs for stale coffee and a questionable sandwich—

Then I heard the door open behind me. I didn't turn, couldn't turn, my hands still buried in the fragile work, the pipette cool in my gloved fingers. But then I heard her voice, and my heart stopped.

"Suguru?"

God, how I wanted to turn to her, to drink in the sight of her. But I couldn't, not yet.

"Hey," I replied, my gaze still fixed on the vials before me. "Didn't expect you here today. Sorry, the fun part's already over." I completed the transfer, then turned to face her, a easy smile on my lips. But the smile died as soon as I saw her face.

I didn't respond immediately, too startled by her appearance. Even in the dim light, it was impossible to miss.

She looked small, fragile in a way I had never seen before. Her eyes were red and swollen, her cheeks pale. She had been crying, that much was clear. She hugged herself tightly, as if she was trying to physically hold the pieces of herself together. 

Seeing her like that, so broken, tore at something deep inside me, something I hated, something fierce and aching.

"What happened?" 

The question was inevitable. But I already knew. There was only one thing, one person, that could make my pretty girl cry.

Her eyes were fixed on the floor, but I could see the tears welling up, threatening to spill over. "Can we work on something?" she finally asked, her voice small. "Please."

I hesitated, torn between the need to comfort her and the knowledge that it wasn't my place. "Do you want to talk about it?" I offered, even though I knew the answer before she even shook her head.

"No," she choked out. "I can't. I need—I need to focus on something else. Anything else. Or I think I'll fall apart."

I understood that feeling all too well. The need to lose yourself in work, to bury yourself in the familiar of the lab until the rest of the world faded away. But I hated that she felt it too, hated that he had driven her to this point. Hated him, with a fury that burned white-hot in my veins.

And the worst part was that I knew there was more, more that he was hiding from her. More lies, more secrets, more ways he was hurting her without her even knowing. And it made me want to scream, to rage, to tear him apart with my bare hands for daring to hurt her like this.

But I couldn't. All I could do was be here for her, in whatever way she needed me. 

"Please, Suguru." Her voice was pleading, desperate. "Can we just work?"

I hesitated for a moment longer, my gaze lingering on her face, taking in the vulnerability etched there. The urge to pull her into my arms, to hold her until the pain faded away, was almost overwhelming. But I knew I couldn't cross that line, not now, not like this.

Finally, I nodded and peeled off my gloves, setting them aside. I reached for her, gently undoing the tight knot of her crossed arms. Her hands were like ice in mine, trembling and fragile. I took one hand in both of mine, wishing I could take away her pain.

"What do you want to work on?" I asked softly, my thumb tracing soothing circles on the back of her hand.

"The nanoparticles," she said, her voice a little steadier. "We still need to narrow down the potential materials and targeting ligands, right?"

"Yeah," I said, forcing a smile. "Anything you want."

Anything for you. 

The words echoed in my mind, a bitter reminder of the truth I could never speak aloud. I loved her, had loved her for longer than I cared to admit, but she was with Satoru. And no matter how much it hurt to see her like this, to know that he was the one who had caused her pain, I couldn't let my own feelings get in the way.

So I pushed them down, buried them deep, and focused on the work. On being the friend she needed, the partner she could rely on. Even if it meant ignoring the part of me that screamed for something more. Even if it meant watching her break, again and again, and being powerless to stop it.

We worked in silence for a while, the familiar routine of the lab providing distraction. For her. For me. She focused intently on the task at hand, her brow furrowed as she carefully prepared the samples. Like everything she did, with unwavering precicion.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye, my heart aching at the tension in her shoulders, the tightness around her eyes. 

Time seemed to slip away as we lost ourselves in the work, the outside world fading away. I caught myself stealing glances at her, watching how her hair fell forward when she leaned over the samples. Every little gesture a knife to my heart. 

These moments were the hardest — seeing her so close, yet having to maintain this careful distance. Watching her push herself to exhaustion, knowing I couldn't hold her, couldn't comfort her the way I desperately wanted to.

I averted my gaze and glanced at the clock, just now realizing how late it had gotten.

"Hey," I said softly, breaking the silence. "It's nearly midnight. We should probably call it a day."

She looked up, blinking as if coming out of a trance. "Oh, no I have to finsish this first." She looked over to me and my stern gaze must have silenced her objections.

I hesitated for a moment, then reached out and touched her arm gently, ignoring the way my skin burned at the contact. "Come on. I want to show you something."

She followed reluctantly as I led her to the far corner of the lab, where our old microscope sat — the one we rarely used anymore since getting the newer models. I pulled out a worn slide from the cabinet.

"Remember this?" I asked, setting up the microscope. "From your first week here?"

She leaned in to look, and I had to force myself to step back. "Oh god, my first attempt at cell staining. It's horrible."

"Actually," I said, adjusting the focus, "look at this part here." I pointed to a small cluster of cells. "See how you managed to isolate that specific population? Most students take months to get that kind of precision. You did it on your first try."

She was quiet for a moment, studying the slide. A look I adored so much. And for a moment, the pain and hurt seemed to fade away. 

"You've got instincts that can't be taught," I continued. "That's why you're going to crack this nanoparticle puzzle too."

"You really think so?"

"I know so." I pulled out another slide. "Here, look at your work from last month. See how far you've come?"

She studied it for a moment, then shook her head. "It's still not perfect, the staining could be cleaner, the resolution better. I should be doing better by now."

"You're being too hard on yourself." Always chasing perfection, just like him. "You can't expect to master everything in a few months. Even Satoru took years to—" I caught myself, watching her shoulders tense at his name. Wrong thing to say. "What I mean is, you're already exceeding everyone's expectations. Except maybe your own."

She fell quiet, turning back to the microscope. I watched as she adjusted the focus. Finally, she straightened up from the microscope, turning to face me, and there it was — that spark in her eyes I'd grown to love, the one that made my heart stutter every time.

"We should try adjusting the polymer composition," she said suddenly. "Maybe if we modified the surface charge—"

I smiled, relief flooding through me at seeing that spark return. "Whatever you want to try. I'm right here with you. But tomorrow, okay? After a bit of sleep."

"Thank you," she said softly, leaning back in her chair and stretching her arms above her head. A small yawn escaped her. "Sorry for taking up so much of your time. You must have been here for hours."

"No, not at all," I lied, watching as she rolled her shoulders to work out the stiffness. In truth, I'd been at the lab since dawn, but she didn't need to know that.

I swallowed hard, my heart suddenly racing. "You know I'm always here for you. No matter what."

We remained silent for a moment, the weight of everything unsaid crowded in my throat — how much I cared, how seeing her hurt made me want to tear the world apart, how every smile she gave me was torture.

"Come on," I said finally, breaking the spell before I could do something stupid. "Let's get out of here. I think we both need some sleep."

─────── ౨ৎ ───────

(note: s&c reader)

Cold autumn air burned in my lungs as I pushed myself harder, feet pounding against the leaf-strewn path. A thick blanket of mist hung low between the trees on my usual morning run, though nothing about this morning felt usual.

I hadn't slept. How could I?

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face. The way she looked so small, so broken. The tears she tried to hide. The trembling in her hands as we worked. The memory of those words made me stumble, my running shoes skidding on wet leaves, made my chest tight with something painful.

I picked up my pace, as if I could somehow outrun the guilt of my own thoughts. Because every time I saw her like this, a treacherous part of me whispered, I would never make you cry. I would never give you reason to doubt yourself. I would cherish every brilliant, imperfect moment.

Damn it.

I'm a terrible friend. To both of them.

The park was almost empty at this hour — just a few other early risers and their dogs. A jogger passed, giving me a brief nod. It was my routine, something that usually helped clear my head, but not today. Not when I couldn't stop thinking about how she looked last night, working herself to escape whatever he'd done this time.

What kind of man watches the woman he loves hurt like this and does nothing? Someone so passionate, so full of life, slowly dimming because he can't get his shit together—

Stop it. Stop thinking about her like that.

I stopped abruptly, hands on my knees, breathing hard. A cloud of vapor formed with each exhale, disappearing into the cold morning air. My t-shirt was soaked with sweat despite the chill.

This isn't my business. I've told myself this a hundred times. Their relationship, their problems — none of it concerns me. I'm just her professor. Her research partner. Just his friend. But friends don't let friends destroy the people they claim to love.

And I can't keep pretending I don't see what's happening. Can't keep watching her slowly break apart while he—

Before I knew what I was doing, I was heading back to my car. To hell with my day off. To hell with staying out of it. I've watched this play out for too long, kept my mouth shut for too long. Sorry, Satoru. But we need to talk.

I stormed through the university hallways, my footsteps thundering off the walls, still in my damp training clothes that clung uncomfortably to my skin. The lab door was ahead, and through the window I could see him.

Satoru was sitting in his chair, staring blankly at the whiteboard where incoherent scribbles were scattered, just like yesterday.

In two strides, I crossed the room and grabbed the back of his chair, spinning it around to face me. He looked awful — pale, unshaven, his hair a mess. The sharp scent of coffee couldn't mask something else on his breath. His eyes were bloodshot. I didn't care.

"What the hell did you say to her?" I snapped.

Satoru didn't even seem surprised by my presence. "Wow, that's a pretty broad question, don't you think?"

"Cut the bullshit, Satoru. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

He glanced up then, one eyebrow arched, that infuriatingly casual look I'd seen a thousand times before. "Damn, Suguru. Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?"

Something snapped inside me. Before I could think better of it, I was there, hands gripping the arms of his chair, caging him in. Close enough to see the muscle working in his jaw. "I'm gonna ask you this one time and one time only. What happened between you two?"

"Wow, you're really close." He glanced pointedly at the narrow space between us, but I caught the way his fingers tightened on the armrest. "We had a disagreement, that's all," he added, his tone dismissive.

"A disagreement?" The laugh that escaped me was harsh. I pushed away from his chair, turning so I wouldn't have to look at him. My hand scraped roughly across my face, trying my best not to take a hit on him. "She was in tears, Satoru. She could barely get the words out."

He didn't answer. Just straightened up, brushed imaginary dirt from his lab coat. Then he was on his feet, moving past me to the whiteboard as if I wasn't even there. As if we weren't having this conversation.

He picked up a marker, adding to the chaos of scribbles already there — equations that went nowhere, diagrams that made no sense.

"God, would you just—" I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. "You can't just ignore this, Satoru."

His knuckles went white around the marker. For a second, I thought he might actually turn around and hit me.

"How long are you gonna keep doing this to her?" I pressed. "Until she breaks completely?"

"You think I'm not aware of that," he muttered, still facing the board.

"Then fucking stop. If you can't treat her right, just let her go."

That got him. He spun around, eyes hard. "Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

I blinked, taken aback. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Satoru laughed, but there was no humor in it. "Come on, Suguru. Don't act like you haven't been waiting for this. Waiting for your chance."

"That's not—" The words stuck in my throat. "This isn't about me."

"No?" He took a step closer. "Then what is it about? Why do you care so much?"

"Because she deserves better than this. And you know it."

"Better? You mean like you?" His lips curled into something cruel. "Too bad she's not yours to care about, huh? Even though you think you'd be so much better for her than me." He tilted his head, eyes cold. "Funny, isn't it? She doesn't want you, even knowing how bad I am for her. What does that say about you?"

The words hit like a physical blow, each word a serrated edge twisting in my gut. It took everything in me not to grab him by the throat. "You're being a dick."

"And you're being a lying piece of shit. When were you gonna tell me?" His voice dropped dangerously low. "About how you feel about her?"

"This isn't about me," I repeated through gritted teeth. "This is about what you're doing to her."

"You don't know anything about us."

I stepped closer, close enough to see the shadows under his eyes. "What happens when she finds out the truth, huh? When you're passed out in some hospital bed? That how you want her to learn about it?"

Something flickered in his eyes — pain, maybe guilt — but it was gone in an instant.

"Stay out of it," he said, his voice cold. "Just... stay out of it."

He turned back to the board. I watched him, this man I'd known my whole life, suddenly feeling like a stranger.

"What happened to you?" I asked quietly.

He didn't turn around. "Yeah," he said, his voice heavy. "Guess we'd all like to know, wouldn't we?"

I watched him scribble new, illogical equations on the whiteboard, this stranger wearing my best friend's face, and for a moment I saw echoes of who we used to be.

Late nights in the university library, surrounded by towers of medical textbooks. Satoru falling asleep on his notes, drooling on diagrams of the nervous system while I threw paper balls at his head to wake him up. The way we'd quiz each other until sunrise, high on caffeine and the shared dream of becoming surgeons.

Our residency years, which were nothing but brutal and endless. Sleeping in on-call rooms, stealing each other's coffee, covering for each other when we were dead on our feet. Learning to navigate the maze of hospital politics together. 

The rush of our first successful surgeries, the crushing weight of our first losses.

Even when things got bad, when the pressure started getting to him, when the pills became more than just a way to stay focused during exam season, he never shut me out completely. He'd show up at my door at 3 AM, shaking and sweating, and I'd let him in without a word. We'd sit in silence until the sun came up, until he could breathe again.

I was there through all of it. The interventions, the relapses, the promises to get clean. The nights when he'd call me, voice slurred, talking about how he didn't know how to go on. I'd talk him down, drive across town to pick him up from whatever hole he'd crawled into. 

We were brothers in everything but blood.

But now—

Now he stood there, shoulders rigid, adding meaningless equations to an already chaotic board. The gap between us felt wider than the few feet of lab floor. When did that happen? When did we stop being able to tell each other everything?

Was it when she came into our lives? When he fell in love with her? When I—

No. It was before that. The distance had been growing for a while, so gradually I hardly noticed. Like watching someone drift away on an outgoing tide, too slow to notice until they're already too far to reach.

The marker squeaked against the whiteboard. The sound grated on my nerves, like everything about him did these days. His secrets, his dismissive attitude, the way he kept everyone at arm's length while slowly self-destructing.

"Do you remember," I found myself saying, "that night in our second year of residency? When that kid crashed on my table?"

His hand stilled on the board.

"I was a mess afterward. Convinced I'd missed something, that it was my fault. You came to my place and we sat on the floor until morning, going over every detail of the surgery until I finally believed that I couldn't have saved him."

He didn't turn around, but I saw his shoulders tense.

"What happened to us, Satoru?"

The marker dropped from his hand, clattering against the metal tray. The sound echoed in the quiet lab.

"I don't know" he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper, "I'm tired of it all."

We stood there, two people who had once finished each other's sentences, now unable to find the right words. Silence stretched, thick and suffocating, filled with twenty years of shared history that suddenly felt meaningless.

I wanted to grab him, shake him, make him see what he was doing to himself. To her. To us. But I stayed where I was, the distance between us feeling more insuperable by the second. 

This strange, hollow feeling in my chest — was this what growing apart felt like? This gradual realization that the person standing before me, had become someone I didn't recognize?

But the details were still there—the slight crook in his nose from that basketball accident in high school with him, laughing it off even as blood dripped onto his jersey—the white line across his knuckles from that fight behind the gym, my own fists aching as I pulled him away—the small scar above his eyebrow from when we tried to climb that tree in sixth grade, both of us sworn to secrecy, telling our parents we fell off our bikes. 

Every mark told a story I could recite in my sleep, yet somehow, they all added up to someone I didn't know anymore. Like looking at a familiar photograph that had been subtly altered — all the pieces were there, but the picture was wrong.

My best friend, my brother, the person who knew me better than anyone — when did he become such a stranger? When did our comfortable silences turn into this suffocating void? 

The thought sat like lead in my stomach, bitter and cold, as I realized that sometimes knowing every scar on someone's skin doesn't mean you know what's beneath it anymore.

─────── ౨ৎ ───────

(note: s&c and r&r reader)

Days blurred together in a haze of surgeries and lectures. 

I went through the motions, my hands steady as ever in the operating room, my voice clear during presentations. To anyone watching, I was the picture of professional composure. But inside? I don't know.

I thought I was doing a decent job of holding it together until one of my students approached me after a practically grueling morning lecture. The young man clutched a stack of papers, a sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead.

"Dr. Geto, about my thesis proposal—"

I cut him off with a wave of my hand, not even looking up from gathering my materials. "Email me to request thesis mentorship. I'll review your proposal and get back to you."

"Oh... you're, ehm, already my thesis advisor. We had an appointment scheduled for today."

I froze, finally looking at the student—really looking at him. Recognition dawned slowly, followed by a wave of shame. Takada Jun, one of my most promising students. We'd met twice a month since the semester began. Damn it.

"You're right," I said. "Sorry, can we reschedule?"

I was better than this. More professional than this. But lately, everything felt like it was slipping through my fingers.

The research lab was closed for the week—a "cooling off period," Yaga had called it. I knew what it really meant. We were all too volatile, too raw from recent events to work together effectively. So I went home early, something I never did.

My apartment felt emptier than usual, the silence pressing in from all sides. I tried reading, but the words swam before my eyes. I attempted to eat, but everything tasted like ash. Even my usual evening cigarette was bitter and harsh in my lungs.

My thoughts kept drifting to Satoru, wondering what he was doing, not if he was using, only what cocktail of pills he'd chosen this time. The math was easy enough—one to stay awake, two to fall asleep, three to numb the edges, repeat as needed. I'd seen it too many times before.

I crushed out my cigarette, watching the ember die. I reached for another only to find an empty pack. Figured. I should go buy more, knew I'd need them if I let myself think about her, about them. But I didn't want to leave the apartment, couldn't put on real clothes.

My only glimpse of light was the art exhibition on Saturday. The thought of it made something in my chest loosen, just slightly. I pulled out my phone, staring at our last exchange of messages before typing out a new one.

[6:45 PM] Me: Should I pick you up for the exhibition?

Her response came quickly.

[6:47 PM] Attorney: Let's meet there. I might be running late from a study group.

[6:47 PM] Me: Sounds good.

I hesitated, then added.

[6:48 PM] Me: Looking forward to it.

[6:49 PM] Attorney: Me too :)

A small smile tugged at my lips. For a brief, ridiculous moment, I wondered if I should bring flowers. The thought made me pause, my hand reaching automatically for my cigarettes before remembering the empty pack. What the hell was I doing?

This was wrong on so many levels.  She was my patient. Well, technically Satoru's patient. And young—god, she was so young. And I was... what? A mess of a man carrying a torch for someone I could never have, trying to fill that void with someone else? I was not sure.

My mind kept drifting back to that night at the bar. The way she felt pressed against me in that dimly lit bathroom, her skin warm under my touch. The soft sounds she made when I slipped my fingers inside her—God, I shouldn't be thinking about this.

This was getting pathetic. Still. Saturday couldn't come fast enough.

─────── ౨ৎ ───────

(note: r&r reader)

I was late. Damn it, I was so late.

The emergency surgery had gone longer than expected—a complex arteriovenous malformation that refused to behave. By the time I closed, my hands were cramping and my neck was stiff from hours of hunching over the microscope. But the patient would live, and that's what mattered.

Still, as I rushed through the hospital parking lot, yanking off my scrub cap and shoving it in my pocket, I couldn't help but check my watch again. Two hours late. Shit. I'd texted her updates throughout, but still. Two hours.

The art exhibition was being held in some converted warehouse space downtown. Even from outside, I could see the warm light spilling onto the street through the large windows, hear the soft sound of voices and clinking glasses. I paused at the entrance, trying to catch my breath and compose myself.

That's when I spotted it—a small splash of red on my shirt sleeve, barely visible but unmistakably blood. Perfect. Because showing up late wasn't bad enough, I had to show up looking like I'd just walked off a crime scene.

I quickly shrugged my jacket back on, tugging the sleeves down to cover the stain. It would have to do.

She was standing alone near a large abstract painting, wine glass in hand, studying the canvas. Even in a room full of people, she seemed somehow apart from it all. The sight of her there all by herself felt like fingers wrapping around my heart.

"I am so, so sorry," I said as I approached, placing my hand on her lower back.

She turned, and the smile that lit up her face made my stomach flip. How could she look at me like that when I'd kept her waiting for two hours?

"Hey, you made it!" She didn't sound angry at all. If anything, she seemed genuinely happy to see me. It only made the guilt weigh heavier in my chest.

"I'm really sorry," I repeated, because apparently that's all I could say. "The surgery took longer than expected. There were complications and—"

"Did you save them?"

I blinked, caught off guard by the directness of her question. "Yes."

"Then stop apologizing." She took a sip of her wine, her eyes twinkling. "Besides, fashionably late is totally in right now."

"Two hours isn't fashionably late, it's just rude."

"It's your job," she said simply. "Saving lives tends to take priority over art exhibitions."

I watched her for a second longer, unsure how to react. "Have you been here alone this whole time?"

"Yeah, but it's fine," she said, waving off my concern. "I've actually had time to explore everything properly. Plus, the wine is decent."

Guilt twisted in my stomach. I pictured her wandering these halls alone, checking her phone for my updates, making awkward small talk with strangers. For two hours.

"I really am—"

"If you apologize one more time, I swear I’ll spill this wine on your jacket. And you know me—I don’t need much of an excuse to be clumsy." Before I could respond, her eyes narrowed, focusing on something near my collar. "Is that?"

I followed her gaze to where my jacket had shifted, revealing the telltale red stain. Damn it. I quickly tried to adjust my jacket, but she caught my arm, stopping me.

"Sorry," I muttered. "I'm a mess. I should have gone home to change first, but I didn't want to be any later than I already was."

"Hey," she said, leaning in conspiratorially, "if anyone asks, we'll just tell them it's paint. I mean, we are at an art exhibition. Who's going to look too closely?"

Despite myself, I laughed. "You'd make a terrible witness in court, you know that?"

"Good thing I'm going to be a lawyer then, not a witness." She grinned. "Come on, I want to show you my favorite pieces. And maybe we can find you a painting with enough red in it to stand near. You know, for cover."

I let her lead me through the gallery, and I found myself placing my hand on the small of her back. It was an unconscious gesture, one I immediately second-guessed, but she leaned into the touch slightly. So I let my hand stay where it was.

"You're not still feeling guilty about being late, are you?" she asked suddenly, glancing up at me.

"Maybe a little."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, stop it. Although—" She pretended to think for a moment. "You could make it up to me by buying me another glass of wine."

"Done," I said immediately. "Although maybe I shouldn't be encouraging drinking."

"Oh, now you're being a doctor again?"

"Force of habit."

She laughed, the sound warm and genuine, wrapping around me like summer rain. Dangerous, how easily I could get used to that sound. She led me further through the gallery, linking her arm through mine, chattering away about everything and nothing. 

It was fascinating how much she knew—not just about the art itself, but about the whole scene. She'd point to a painting and launch into stories about the artist's infamous feuds with gallery owners, or how someone's entire series was inspired by a bad breakup with another artist three rooms over. 

She knew every bit of gossip, every drama. Which curator was sleeping with which artist, which pieces were painted during mental breakdowns, which collections were secretly commentary on messy divorces. She made the plain white walls of the gallery come alive with her stories.

"Oh, and that guy over there?" She nodded discretely towards a man in an expensive-looking suit. "He's actually—"

I caught myself staring at her again, watching the way her eyes lit up as she spoke, the subtle changes in her expression as she moved from one story to the next. The way she'd lower her voice when sharing particularly bits of details, leaning closer to me like we were sharing secrets.

It was strange. I never knew that art was so... fun. Her excitement was contagious, and I found myself being pulled into her world without resistance.

"You're not even looking at the painting anymore," she accused, catching me staring at her instead of the canvas she was discussing.

"Sorry," I said, trying to focus on the painting she'd been discussing. "You were saying something about the use of negative space?"

She launched back into her explanation, describing techniques and influences I barely understood. But there was something captivating about her, the way she could find something fascinating in every piece, even the ones she claimed to hate.

I couldn't help myself. I had to ask.

"Why law?"

She blinked, caught off guard by the sudden change in topic. "What?"

"You're clearly passionate about art. You know all these techniques, all this history. Why aren't you studying art instead of law?"

Her smile faltered slightly. "We've had this conversation before, remember? Stability, good career, making my parents proud—"

"But that's what your parents want. What do you want?"

She was quiet for a moment, her fingers playing with the stem of her wine glass. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft, almost resigned. "It's not that simple."

"It could be."

She looked up at me then, something flashing in her eyes that might have been anger. "Says the successful neurosurgeon who followed his passion."

"That's different—"

"Is it?" She took a sip of wine and pulled her arm away from mine, the loss of contact unexpectedly cruel. "You chose medicine because you loved it, right? Because you couldn't imagine doing anything else?"

I thought about Satoru, about following his lead into neurosurgery, about all the complicated reasons behind my choices. "It's... not that simple either."

"Exactly." She gave me a knowing look. "Life rarely is."

We stood there in silence for a moment, both lost in thought. Around us, the gallery filled with the white noise of clinking glasses and polite laughter.

"I'm sorry," I began. "I shouldn't have said that."

She shook her head, loose strands of hair catching the light. "No, it's... you're not wrong to ask. It's just complicated." She paused, staring into her wine glass. My parents worked so hard to put me through school. Dad worked double shifts at the factory, Mom cleaned houses on weekends. They saved every penny they could."

"They were so proud when I got into law school," she continued, her voice softer now. "You should have seen their faces. Dad actually cried—I'd never seen him cry before. They threw this little party in our apartment, invited all the neighbors. Mom made this huge spread of food even though I know they couldn't really afford it."

She smiled at the memory, but there was something bittersweet in it. "They see law school as this—this ticket to a better life, you know? This chance for their daughter to have everything they couldn't give themselves. How could I tell them I'd rather spend my days covered in paint?"

"They sound like good parents."

"The best," she agreed. "That's why it's so hard. Every time I think about changing paths, I remember how much they've sacrificed. The hours they worked, the things they went without. Dad's still picking up extra shifts to help with my expenses, even though I tell him not to."

She turned to look at a nearby painting, but I could tell she wasn't really seeing it. "Sometimes I calculate how much they've invested in my education, down to the last yen. It feels like a responsibility, you know." A pause. "So I'm—acting. Playing dress-up in these fancy suits, pretending to care about corporate law and international trade agreements. But it's okay."

Her story settled like lead in my stomach. Here I was, someone who'd never had to watch his parents sacrifice anything, presuming to give advice about following dreams. And suddenly, I felt almost ashamed of my own privilege. 

I grew up never wanting for anything. My parents had well-paying jobs and valued education above all else. Private tutors, college prep courses, academic summer programs—they spared no expense in paving my path to success.

When I decided to go into medicine, my biggest concern had been whether I was doing it for myself or just following Satoru's lead. Not whether I could afford it. Not whether it would drain my family's savings.

I'd never had to work during university. Never had to count pennies for textbooks. Never had to weigh the cost of pursuing my dreams against my family's needs. The academic world had been my playground, every door already half-open. I feel so dump.

Sure, medical school had been demanding. The long hours of study, the grueling residency, the constant pressure to excel—but I'd never had to wonder if I could afford to chase my passion. Never had to choose between my dreams and my family's financial stability.

I lived in a nice apartment, drove a decent car, could afford my vices without a second thought. And here she was, brilliant and passionate, having to bury her dreams because she couldn't bear to waste her parents' years of hard work.

Looking at her now, in this gallery surrounded by art she understood so deeply, I could see the weight of those unrealized dreams in the way she held herself. In how her eyes lingered on each painting a bit too long, like she was trying to capture a piece of what could have been.

"I hope you get to paint someday," I said finally, the words feeling inadequate. "The way you want to. Not just alone in your apartment, but really paint. Show your work. Be the artist you clearly are inside."

She looked up at me, surprise flickering across her face. Then her gaze dropped to her wine glass, her fingers tightening around the stem. A strand of hair fell forward, and she pushed it back with unsure fingers.

"I mean it," I continued, resisting the urge to brush that stubborn strand of hair back myself. "Besides, who says you can't have both? Practice law until you're stable enough to pursue art. Or find a way to combine them—art law is a thing, isn't it?"

"You're awfully supportive, for someone who barely knows me," she said quietly, the words half-muffled by her wine glass.

"Is that such a bad thing?"

She shook her head, blinking rapidly. "No, I just... I'm not used to people understanding. Everyone else just talks about being practical, about growing up and facing reality. Like art is somehow childish."

The last words came out bitter, and without thinking, I reached out to touch her chin, tilting her face up to meet my gaze. Her skin was warm under my fingers, and I could feel her pulse flutter at the contact.

"Art isn't childish," I said firmly. "Neither is wanting to pursue something that you're passionate about. That's actually pretty brave."

Something shifted in her expression then, a softness I hadn't seen before. We stood there for a moment, her eyes locked with mine. That's when I finally realized I was still cupping her chin, my thumb absently brushing against her skin. I quickly dropped my hand.

"I really want to see them." The words slipped out before I could stop them. "Your paintings, I mean." 

It felt too intimate, too presumptuous. Like I was asking to see more than just her art, but something deeper, more personal. But she just smiled, a real smile this time, reaching up to tuck that persistent strand of hair behind her ear.

"Okay," she said. "If you promise not to judge too harshly."

"I already know they're great," I said softly, surprising myself with how much I meant it. "I don't know much about art, but I know they're great because you painted them." Then my phone buzzed in my pocket. My heart nearly stopped when I saw the caller ID.

I took an instinctive step back from her. "I'm sorry, I need to take this," I said, already bringing the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

There was silence on the other end, just soft breathing that I knew too well. Then, "Suguru?"

Something in her voice made my chest tighten. She sounded—lost. Different from her usual self. Gone was that fierce confidence, that spark that made her so much like Satoru. Instead, she sounded small, fragile.

"Hey," I said softly. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just—" A pause. "I don't even know why I'm calling."

Someone laughed loudly behind me. She must have heard it through the phone because she hesitated. "Sorry, are you out somewheret? I don't want to—"

"No, no," I said quickly, probably too quickly. "It's fine. Really. Talk to me. What's going on?"

I was painfully aware of the her standing nearby, pretending to study a painting while obviously trying not to listen. I caught her eye briefly, gesturing that I needed a moment. She nodded, with an understanding in her eyes that somehow made it worse.

I quickly made my way to the entrance where the coats hung, seeking somewhere quieter. She was quiet for so long I thought she might have hung up. Then, in a small voice that didn't sound like her at all, "Is he okay?"

I didn't need to ask who she meant.

"He's okay," I said, even though I wasn't really convincing either of us. "You know Satoru. He's managing."

A soft laugh, maybe a sob. "That could mean anything with him."

"No, really. He's okay," I lied. "I'm keeping an eye on him."

A pause then, "I'm being stupid, aren't I?"

"No," I said. "You're not being stupid. You're in love." The words hurt to say, but they were true. "That's never stupid."

Another shaky breath. "I shouldn't have called. You're out, and I'm here just—"

"Hey, do you need me?" I cut in. "I can bring you something. Coffee? Food? Those terrible convenience store onigiri you pretend not to like?"

That got a real laugh, albeit a watery one. "No, I'm... I'm actually at Maki's. She dragged me out. Said I needed to stop rotting in my apartment."

"Good. That's... that's good." I ran a hand through my hair, not quite believing her. I knew her too well by now, knew she was probably curled up alone in her apartment, just as I knew she knew I was lying about Satoru being okay. Strange, how we'd both gotten so comfortable with these little deceptions. "But the offer stands. Anytime."

"Thank you, Suguru." Her voice was softer now.

"Yeah," was all I could manage. I closed my eyes, pressing the phone harder against my ear as if I could somehow keep her there longer.  Each second of silence felt like another chance to say something, anything, to make this right. But what could I say? That I was sorry? That I missed her? That I thought about her every damn day?

"I should let you get back," she said. "To wherever you are. Sorry for—"

"Don't apologize. Not to me. Never to me."

I took a deep breath, briefly pulling the phone away from my ear because I couldn't trust my voice not to say what I desperately wanted to. Don't go. Stay on the line. Let me fix this. But I had no right to ask that of her. Not anymore. Maybe never did.

After we hung up, I stood there in the gallery's entrance, frozen. Around me, couples laughed and gathered their coats, heading out into the night. The door kept opening and closing, letting in bursts of cold air inside, reminding me I needed to move, needed to go back.

When I finally made my way back to her, she was studying the same stormy seascape from earlier. She didn't turn around immediately, giving me a moment to compose myself. Maybe it was some sort of kindness on her part.

She didn't ask about the call. Didn't question my sudden disappearance or the tension I knew was in every fiber of my being. Instead, she just glanced at me with a small smile that somehow made everything both better and worse, and said, "I think we've seen everything. Should we head out?"

The relief nearly knocked me sideways. "You sure? There's still the upper floor—"

"Please," she said. "I've been here for hours. I could probably give tours at this point."

I watched her gather her things, struck by how carefully she was moving around the weight of what had just happened. Like she understood something about me that I hadn't expected her to grasp. 

"You're awfully understanding, you know that?"

She looked up at me. "Something we have in common, it seems."

We walked to the exit in silence. I helped her into her coat, her fingers brushing mine as she adjusted her collar. Outside, the night air was sharp with the bite of early autumn. She pulled her coat tighter around herself.

"I can call you a taxi," I offered.

"Actually," she said, "I think I'll walk." She looked up at the sky, where a few stubborn stars managed to shine through Tokyo's light pollution. "It's not far, and it's a nice night."

"Not a chance," I said, already pulling out my phone. "It's late."

"I'm a big girl, you know. I can handle myself."

"I'm sure you can," I replied, already dialing the taxi company. "But humor your doctor, will you?"

She rolled her eyes but didn't protest further. While we waited for the taxi, she stood close enough that I could smell her perfume, something light and floral, while I tried to ignore the guilt for leaving the exhibition early, guilt for being late, guilt for enjoying myself despite everything else.

"Thank you," I said suddenly. "For tonight."

"No problem, doc," she said with a warm smile. "Next time, maybe we can finish looking at the art."

"Next time," I echoed, like a promise I wasn't sure I should be making. The taxi pulled up, its yellow light cutting through the darkness. I opened the door for her. 

She turned before getting in, looking back over her shoulder. "Oh, and Suguru?" The use of my first name sent an unexpected shiver down my spine. "Don't overthink everything tonight, okay?"

I watched the taxi disappear into the flow of traffic, its red taillights blending with all the other lights of the city. Only then did I pull out my cigarettes, lighting one with slightly shaking hands. The night felt colder without her presence.

I took a long drag, watching the smoke disappear into the night air, then started walking in the opposite direction, no real destination in mind, just a vague hope that if I walked long enough, the conflicting feelings churning inside me might fade away. 

The city lights blurred around me, and somewhere in the distance, I could hear the last trains of the night rumbling through their stations.

Next time, she'd said. 

God help me, but I was already looking forward to it.

<- prev chapter | next chapter ->

author's note — hello again! i hope you enjoyed this chapter from suguru's pov. i'm sorry for the lack of updates lately, university life and low motivation can be a real challenge. but i'd love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to leave a comment or send in a message. i love to read them <3

& i hope his pov didn’t break your heart too much, especially with his and satoru’s spiraling friendship. also, this chapter ties back to ch 14 of symptoms and causes, for those who are following along.

pls consider subscribing to the story on ao3 or turning on notifications for my blog for furute updates (i've given up on taglists, to be honest).

and as always, thanks for reading, and i wish you all the best, whether you're reading this in the middle of the day or late at night :))

© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or modify my work.

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Eddie is your professor but he has a girlfriend. He'd never be interested in you...right?

Eddie is 40, reader is in her mid to late twenties (up to you) 18+ angst and fluff. Jealous Eddie, jealous reader.

Based on this post 💞

This is my first time writing a Professor Eddie fic so yeah... I tried ❤️🫣

❤️

🥰

You always told yourself you would never be so cliche and fall for a professor of yours.

That's until you met Eddie Munson. Eddie who taught music and it's history and had women and quite a few men on campus drooling over him.

From his shaggy brown curls to his big brown eyes, cheeky dimpled smile and lean, sinewy body covered in tattoos, he was sexy as hell.

He was subbing the class for a year and appeared to be enjoying parting his wisdom to the class.

The way he spoke sent tingles down your spine and the first time you met him you swore you had never met anyone as gorgeous as him.

Older, experienced and an encyclopedic knowledge of metal music, the ability to strum on his guitar in ways that made you flush; you would get distracted by his long ringed fingers and wonder what they would feel like on you.

It was ridiculous, you were behaving like some schoolgirl with a crush. It was so embarrassing and honestly as mortifying as it was, you figured you'd be able to handle it.

That's until you noticed the way Eddie would look at you, his dark eyes meeting yours a few seconds longer than necessary.

At first you assumed you were imagining things but the more that it kept happening then the more convinced you would be.

Just as you're trying to concentrate on reading the slides that Eddie has created for today's topic, he passes your desk and pauses to look over your work, bending down to peer over your shoulder.

His breath against your neck is very distracting, you try your hardest to concentrate but accidentally catch Eddie's eye and grow flustered, and ache burrows itself in your lower stomach.

He clears his throat and smiles, "Good work" he's not looking at you anymore but you can feel the weight of his gaze still.

You really needed to get this crush under control.

❤️

As class is finished for the day you're eager to start researching for your essay for your psychology class There're a few things you want to incorporate but you'd have to visit the campus library for some books on the matter.

Beside you Hailey is giggling and pointing at something; you pay her no mind until she nudges you. "Is that Eddie? Who's the woman?"

You look over to what Hailey is pointing at and you feel like you've been punched in the gut at the sight of Eddie and a beautiful blonde, who reaches on her tiptoes to kiss him.

"Ooh I didn't realise that Eddie had a girlfriend" Hailey says eagerly, looking to get some gossip.

"That's Chrissy" Robin murmurs and Hayley immediately begins firing questions at Robin.

You find out they've been together for nine months, they knew each other in high school. Eddie used to have a crush on her back then and they reconnected around a year or so ago.

It's all sickeningly sweet and twists at your insides.

He has a girlfriend. Hailey giggles beside you and commiserates with a few of your other classmates at the fact Eddie is taken.

It's just jokey and light teasing, none of them look like they've had their heart squeezed too tight, except that's how you feel and you hide the emotions that are written all over your face.

Robin seems to be the only one that notices and it looks like she wants to say something but you don't hang around to find out what that is.

With one last glance at Eddie and Chrissy, you grab your bag and head to your car. You keep your head down as you walk past them, trying very hard not to picture the image of her mouth on his.

You were so stupid. It was obvious that you were just imagining these looks, all the touches.

They meant nothing. It was all in your head, something you wanted to happen but never would.

...

Maybe if you had stayed a bit longer then you might have noticed the obvious tension between Eddie and his girl.

❤️

For most of the week you bury yourself into your studies, ignore the stupid thoughts in your head that made you think that someone like Eddie being interested in you was even remotely possible.

Robin is excitedly telling you about meeting up with her best friend Steve today, she's practically thrumming with excitement when at the end of class you see a handsome, dark haired man waiting for her.

Oh he is cute. Robin introduces you and Steve is effortlessly charming, his hazel brown eyes sparkling in delight when you laugh at his silly jokes.

"I can't believe you didn't introduce me sooner Robin" he nudges her and robin rolls her eyes but there's affection and warmth in her gaze when she looks at Steve. You wonder how long they've known each other.

"Why dingus? so I can watch your terrible flirting techniques. At least you've come a long way from sailor outfits and scoreboards" Steve blushes and you raise an eyebrow questioningly at Robin.

"Sailor outfit?" She smirks and ignores Steve's groans of annoyance,

"Yup. I have pictures" his hazel eyes widen in horror and he swears under his breath.

"You do not! Shit, you promised me you burned those pictures" he whines and she winks at you which causes you to giggle.

"I think you'd make a cute sailor" you offer and Steve's previously embarrassed expression clears, in place is his usual charm.

"Is that right honey... He's about to say more but is interrupted.

"You know Harrington my class isn't a speed dating service" Eddie's voice snaps from behind you and you're surprised at the iciness in his tone.

What's wrong with him? He was perfectly fine earlier, his usual goofy and charismatic self but now he's glaring at Steve. If looks could kill...

Surely he couldn't be jealous. There was no way that you were even contemplating that when he had Chrissy.

It was obviously something else that was bothering him...right?

❤️

"So what the fuck was up with you yesterday Munson?" Steve asks as he hands him a beer, Eddie pretends to ignore him while he strums on his guitar to relax.

It's been a trying week and he just wants to not think of anything for a few hours. Put the fact that his relationship with Chrissy is failing in every way out of his head.

Isn't this what he always wanted when he was in High school? He had a crush on Chrissy and she was his dream girl and when they met again he really thought it meant she could be the one.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

Now he was struggling with his feelings for you. Feelings he shouldn't have in the first place. Yeah, you won't be his student in the next few weeks once the term ends but it was still wrong.

The thought of not seeing you once classes ended left a hollow feeling in his stomach.

"Maybe because you used my classroom as a flirting ground Steve" he snaps annoyed that his concentration on the new song he's been practicing is broken.

"Might get you off your ass to do something about your little crush dude. Let's face it, you and Chrissy are on the outs, she's clearly still in love with that Carver idiot" Eddie grumbles but knows Steve is right.

"You wouldn't mind if I asked a certain someone out for a drink then if you're clearly not interested?" Steve smirks and Eddie stiffens, he knows Steve is doing this to get a rise out of him and he's struggling to keep his temper in check.

"Steve. Stop being a dickhead and find someone else to date yeah?" The butthead has the audacity to wink at him.

"Don't worry big boy, I'll get you to admit your feelings for yn one way or another" Eddie groans. Now he's stealing his nicknames and that was his special name just for Steve.

Maybe he will stick to butthead instead. More importantly though he and Chrissy really needed to talk and end things once and for all.

❤️

Eddie had been off all week, cold and closed off with startled you at first as you weren't used to him being like that. He seemed fine with everyone else but you.

At first it rattled you to the point that you spent the whole night anxious and teary over his rapid mood change. Then you stopped feeling sorry for yourself and wanted to know what the hell his problem was.

Robin had noticed it and Hailey. Even if some of the changes were subtle they were there and you weren't here for it.

When you had seen Steve earlier as he drove Robin to class you had chatted to him and he suggested maybe going for a drink sometime. You would have answered if Eddie hadn't appeared out of nowhere all grumpy and snapping at you to get to class.

Furious you decide to ask Eddie what his problem is once class ends. It's a slow wait and you're practically thrumming in anticipation by the end of it. As soon as the class has cleared out you walk over to Eddie's desk.

"What's your problem this week Eddie, you've been off with me all week and don't say you haven't. Even Robin and Hailey have noticed it, you were so rude to Steve last week and you've been moody for days. Aren't you meant to be friends with Steve so I don't get why you were angry with him?" he looks surprised and quickly recovers.

"He is my friend. He's also a notorious flirt, as I said my classroom isn't a speed dating location," you scowl and a flicker of amusement shows on his face.

"That's fair enough but if he did want to ask me outside of class then it isn't any of your business who I date. Steve suggested we could meet for a drink..."

Eddie's scowls, "Oh I bet he did" he mutters something under his breath and you roll your eyes at his attitude.

"I don't see why I shouldn't. He's kind, funny and handsome" his eyes flash and his normally warm brown eyes darken.

He's so close to you now and your heart feels like it might beat out of your chest. His plump pink lips look so inviting and before you know it, you're leaning closer to him and your hand rests on his chest.

"Mmm, and if you tell me that you feel even a fraction of what you feel about me for Steve then I could see the two of you working out" fuck fuck fuck. Well done for being so obvious about your feelings you chastise yourself.

"I see the way you look at me and I know you've never looked at Steve like that princess" princess? you would have melted at the nickname if you weren't so pissed.

"Excuse me? You're so arrogant and don't you have a girlfriend so I don't see why you're so bothered about Steve flirting with me" You're distracted by the small smile on his face.

"Maybe the thought of you and Steve makes me want to kick Steve's ass even if he is one of my friends, maybe the thought of him being with you makes me fucking jealous. Is that what you want to hear?" If he moved any closer then the two of you would be kissing.

"How do you feel about me?" Instinctively you move forward and he sighs. "I think you know how I feel sweetheart"

Then the reality of the situation comes back to you and you step away from him mortified.

"Shit, oh my god. Oh my god. You have a girlfriend, we shouldn't... Shit" he smiles and his hand reaches to stroke your cheek.

"Chrissy and I are over sweetheart" wait what... You'd think about that more but Eddie's lips are on yours and you cease thinking about anything else.

Eddie slowly kisses you, deepening it as you melt into him. A whimper leaves your throat when he pulls away, his eyes are wide and blown with lust.

"She's not my girlfriend anymore sweetheart, we split up. It was mutual but it was a long time coming. We're better as friends than being together"

Oh...

His lips brush over yours again and this time you're the one to deepen the kiss and make him moan.

❤️

[hunnylagoon]

Right Where You Left Me

Pt 4: The Sweetest Thing to Ever Scare You (Finale)

Ellie Williams x reader

I remember when I first saw you. I remember looking into your warm almond eyes and feeling butterflies in my stomach. But soon, when I looked into your eyes, I no longer felt the same warmth that I once knew. It felt as though you had killed all of the butterflies inside my stomach but yet, I still loved you.

Premise: You and Ellie are childhood best friends until you drift apart. Funny thing about soulmates is they tend to find their way back to each other. You and Ellie try to end the tireless war between you.

Warnings: Angst / drinking / violence / not really religious mentions in this one

Part one here!

Part two here!

Part three over here!

Guys I thought I posted this two days ago but I actually just saved it to drafts. Sorry for being an idiot lmao

I think that I have unlearned how to love.

That’s not even a word but there is no other way to tell you that I have turned myself cold.

Without partying to distract me and religion to fill in gaps of emptiness, I isolate myself and begin to write once again. I'm almost certain that my body has been telling me to write, that I need to pour myself into art as opposed to a girl I was friends with a million years ago.

I figure that I need to create rather than destroy but it might take me a while to do so.

The morning after I abandoned my faith on the church floor, I had woken up and expected Ellie to be gone, however, she was wide awake and playing subway surfers on her phone. Her hair is messy and her eyes are half-lidded. 

She turns to look at me when she feels the shuffling of the bedsheets; despite her doing nothing more than smile at me it is like an understanding passed between us, war is over.

Almost.

It's like I've forgotten how to be soft, I can't manage to get the words out that I need to, and the thought of it alone makes me cringe. "Breakfast?" I ask, unsure of what else to say.

Ellie passes on it and I awkwardly excuse myself, saying that I got called in to take a brunch shift at work. Of course, this is not true. What I do is get into my car and drive and drive until I get mad at myself for burning gas. 

The war between Ellie and I had ended but it didn't register in my head, I almost fell in love with it. Without the constant arguing and passive aggressiveness, there was nothing to put a wall between us and I wasn't ready to be vulnerable again. 

So I begin to feed Ellie the ugliest parts of me; I show her everything I'm sure she will hate but she doesn't, she's patient and shows me the kindness I have been looking everywhere for. Still, I am cold to her, I don't know what else to do. 

I try to push her away all over again but this time, she doesn't let me. Ellie comes into my room when I'm studying to sit on my bed so that she can be in proximity to me. Sometimes she'll ask me if I want to go for a walk or a late-night gas station run, all of the things we used to do.

When I'm angry at her, she lets it happen, she won't escalate the fight all she does is apologize and does what she can to fix it. Everything feels like it's in order again, Joel even starts to send me little text messages to check in on me and sends me Facebook memes that make him think of me.

As of now, we are setting up for Dina's twenty-first birthday. The living room, typically a space for casual gatherings and movie nights, had undergone a transformation. Vibrant streamers adorned the walls, and an array of balloons in assorted hues scattered themselves along the floor "Are balloons too childish?" Abby asks as she walks out of her bedroom.

"They better not be after I just spent half an hour doing all of these," Cat answers, giving her a scornful glare.

"They look great, Cat," I smile and give her a thumbs-up from where I am in the kitchen dumping bags of chips into bowls. "Should I make a veggie platter?"

Cat furrows her eyebrows "If you can finish it by yourself, sure."

"Cat, we aren't children, adults eat vegetables," Abby takes a seat on the couch behind Cat, investigating the hard work she's put into making the living room look nice for just one night "Isn't it weird that Dina is organizing her own surprise party?"

I shrug, placing a wooden cutting board down on the kitchen counter "I don't blame her, I don't think we've always been one hundred percent reliable, me specifically."

"But it's not a surprise if she knows about it."

"So?" Cat asks.

"So why are we calling it a surprise party if it isn't a surprise?"

"Why not?"

"Well, why can't we just call it a party?"

"I don't think it matters," I cut in, I begin to peel carrots and slice them up into quarters. Ellie comes out of her bedroom, she took a nap after completing her physics presentation, her hair in a messy bun, and she's in her typical pyjama uniform of sweats and a hoodie. "Hey, Ellie," I smile at her.

She rubs some sleep away from her green eyes "Hey," Ellie walks over to the kitchen island where I slice and chop vegetables and sits right in front of me. Even half asleep she looks like a statue of marble carved by a skilled hand.

Abby raises an eyebrow, asking 'When did you guys become friends?' without saying it and then it hits me like the plane in Lost. Ellie still hasn't told anyone about our history, our sixteen years of friendship is invisible to the eyes of those who think they know us well.

I'm broken from my thoughts when Abby speaks up "When are you picking up the cake?"

My heart drops "I'm not?"

Cat and Abby cast one another side glances while Ellie snatches a cucumber off my cutting board "Dina was handing out duties and you said you would take care of the cake."

I freeze, unsure of what to say "Nuh-uh." I shake my head like a child denying blame for breaking her mother's favourite dish.

"Yuh-huh," Cat shoots back. "How could you forget that?"

My mind fumbles for an excuse and somehow I land on "I forgot because I went temporarily insane from Lyme disease," What am I saying? "I got Lyme disease because I go camping in secret," I don't camp "And I never told you guys that I go camping because I'm deeply ashamed of it."

Now everyone looks perpetually confused, Ellie included "What are you talking about?" Abby asks, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Okay-well," I place my knife flat on the counter by the wooden cutting board, ignoring the odd spiel I just went on "I'm going to drive to-

"You dropped your car off for a suspension repair yesterday," Abby reminds me.

"Ellie is going to drive me to get a cake," I correct myself "I will be back to finish making my veggie plate." I quickly rinse my hands before grabbing Ellie's keys from the little jewelry dish on the island and yank the sleeve of her hoodie to pull her along.

Ellie doesn't say anything, she slips into some Crocs and we walk outside to her car. "Where are we headed?"

"Uh, hang on," In Ellie's passenger seat, I go on Google Maps to look up the closest bakeries that are still open at this hour, there are two, one a couple of streets away and the other one is across town and closing in twenty minutes. "Infectious Confections," I wrinkle my nose "That's a weird fucking name."

While Ellie tries to make conversation in the car I only speak when giving her directions to the bakery. She knows something is up and I can tell by the way she keeps glancing at me. I just can't manage to get it out of my head that she's still keeping me a secret. 

She pulls up to the bakery and I get out before she even turns her car off, she pulls the keys out of the ignition and trails behind me through the doors.

The bakery itself was rustic and clean, there were two display cases and tills one of the displays held danishes, croissants, cookies, scones and whatever those little swirly flakey things are called. The other display had a big chalk menu above it that read 'Cakery' Though what was in the display case was very sparse.  

"Hi," I walk up to the till, putting on the friendly smile and customer service voice that I usually only use at work. "This is pretty short notice but I was wondering if you had any cakes left or if I could get one made for today?"

The guy behind the counter is a scrawny teenager who looks like he has had a long enough day of dealing with annoying customers "We close in half an hour, there's not enough time to bake and decorate a cake." He explains it like he's said this to a million people, he's bored of the same phrases that his manager has scripted out for him.

"Any shot that someone didn't pick up their cake?" I ask, fingers crossed in the hope that he says yes.

"Let me talk to my manager," His voice drags on, and he turns around and disappears through a commercial kitchen door. I wait patiently, hands balled together in front of me as I rock back and forth on my heels. A minute or two later he comes back holding a bright blue cake with pink detailing of bows and mustaches, there's text on it that reads 'It's a...' gender reveal cake. "This is all we have left, they cancelled last minute.

I look back at Ellie to get her opinion, her eyebrows are furrowed slightly "Maybe we good just get some of those cupcakes and smush them together and smear the icing so it looks like a cake."

I wave her off "I'll buy it," I say this only because it is 5:41 and with each passing minute I am growing desperate, also I don't want Jesse to be disappointed that I fumbled the cake and ruined his girlfriend's birthday.

Angsty teenager puts the bright blue monstrosity into a cake box and charges me an absurd total for it, I bitterly tap my card on the machine. 

As I walk back out to Ellie's car I take a brief moment to look at the sky, it's the same hue as cotton candy and looks as if it had been projected from a watercolour painting, even after I get back into the car and Ellie begins to blast her old dad rock songs, I can't tear my eyes away from it.

After five minutes of silence from my end, Ellie finally asks the question that's been burning into the forefront of her brain "Why are you being weird?"

"Why haven't you told anyone that we met before we moved in together?"

Her dark eyebrows furrow "You haven't told anyone either-

"Yes, I have."

"Who?"

"Yara, Stacy, Kayla, Mitch, Nigel, Carmen, literally everyone from my work," I admit "I just haven't told people who know you personally so it can't make its way back to you because you clearly don't want people to know."

She falls silent, searching her mind for the right words. She clutches the steering wheel tight and looks dead ahead at the car's bumper-to-bumper ahead of us. "I just know how to slip it into conversation."

"I don't think it's that hard, you can just say that we were friends, you don't need to give an intricate play-by-play of everything that happened."

"Why is it important that people know if we're cool again?"

I turn my head to slowly look at her "You are the one who always said 'If we don't have honesty, we have nothing at all'," I point out.

Silence strings between us again, I almost want to throw up.

'We're cool again' Nope, not anymore, we are so very far from cool. Instead of Ellie casting me little glances as she had on the ride there, she ignores my presence almost completely while I glare daggers at her. Was she embarrassed by me? When we went to lunch together why did she lie to Dina about where she was? When she slept in my bed why did Cat ask me if I knew why Ellie came home at eight AM with nothing, not even a key? Did she crawl through my bedroom window to walk around to the front door and pretend she was just getting home?

AND WHY DIDN'T I CALL HER OUT?

She was keeping me a secret and that realization hurt worse than any injury I had ever suffered. She hasn't even told her dead who practically raised me that we lived together. 

God, we weren't even anything and she was keeping me under wraps like I was some disgraceful secret that she would get shamed for holding. The very second she approached our house, I got out of her car, she hadn't even stopped it completely but cake in hand, I hopped out of her car door and didn't look back.

I think I've had my fair share of partying.

After that month-long bender I had where I went to clubs every night and replaced food with vodka, I never wanted to even look at another solo cup full of liquor. Instead of drinking, smoking, or doing karaoke, I hide from Ellie.

I hide from her in conversations and sometimes sneak into my bedroom just to get a bit of breathing room from all of the strangers in my house. Wherever Ellie was, I was not. If she was outside, I was inside, if she was in the living room, I was in the kitchen enjoying my veggie platter. 

Have you ever been the only sober person around in a group of people? If the answer is no, have you ever babysat a houseful of toddlers? Because it's just about the same thing.

When I'm not hiding from the girl who wriggled her way back into my good graces just to trip herself off the podium, I'm cleaning up, protecting our furniture, holding back hair as girls I've never met sob into the toilet, and stopping the drunk from doing stupid things. 

"Hey, buddy," I take my can of hairspray that this frat-adjacent man is holding behind an ignited lighter "I don't think you would look good as a burn victim," His friends moan in disappointment as I do so, they were very excited to see a makeshift flamethrower; I wasn't in the mood to have my house burn down, or have a guy with peach fuzz waste my thirty dollar hair spray. 

Thirty dollars?

Note to self for later: Make smarter spending choices (And smarter relationship choices!).

I felt a tap on my shoulder only to turn around and see Dina, she wasn't drunk, just tipsy "Smile!" She holds up a camera to her eye and clicks the shudder button before I even have a chance to react the flash goes off. A large Polaroid begins to print out, Dina snatches it and shakes it until you can see my silhouette, my eyes are wide, my hair flying behind me from the quick turn of my head and I'm holding a can of hairspray angled to look like I'm going to spray the camera with it "Cute!" She smiles, tucking it into her pocket for later "Wait, I want a group picture of the roommates."

Dina takes my hand and pulls me to one of the couches where Ellie and Abby sit with some guy, she shoes him to get up and drags Cat over to replace him, she stands me in between Ellie and Abby and lightly pushes me down to sit wedged between the two.

"Jesse, please do not do me dirty with this picture," She hands the pink Polaroid camera to her boyfriend and quickly ushers herself to the far left of the couch where she bends over to kiss Cat on the cheek for the picture. Ellie and I are stiff and awkward when the flash goes off. 

After the picture is taken, Ellue turns to face me just the slightest "Hey, I think we should talk-

"I think it's time for cake!" I push myself off the couch and usher myself to the kitchen. 

I pull the cake out of the fridge, looking at what I had done to salvage it; Below the part that said 'It's a...' I wrote '21 year old!' in chocolate pre-made Betty Crocker icing that I had in the fridge for months, it didn't look the best, but it could've been worse.

Dina, of course, cackles when she sees it. To her, it is the funniest thing she's seen all night. I stick the candles in and light it with the light I confiscated from peach fuzz frat boy and push the cake towards Dina after tucking the light back into my pocket, she is illuminated in the glow of iPhone flash all filming her.

"Make a wish!"

Age Sixteen- Grade 11

I think back to how embarrassing it felt to be thoughtful.

How fragile I felt when I would share my feelings and how frail I seem when I do it now. Ellie was always tougher than I was, in rugby, in fights, just in general. That's why I figured she would be taking it better than me when I cut contact, once again I have been proven wrong.

"Conner, can we please just leave?" I pleaded with my then-boyfriend. The night had started fine but after a couple of drinks Ellie and I were becoming increasingly hostile to one another, it wasn't my intention to speak to her but the universe forced my hand when we were shoved into a circle of our friends and made to converse around the bonfire at the beach.

The salty breeze carried the sounds of laughter and the gentle crashing of waves, the scent of roasted marshmallows wafted through the air.

 "What, you need your boyfriend's permission or something?" Ellie held a can of berry blast Smirnoff, staring into my soul from the other side of the fire, the sparks glitter through the night like fireflies. Her words don't feel too bad but they don't feel too good either.

I cast her a glare before I looked back to my boyfriend "Please?" 

He is getting perpetually annoyed with me he shrugs away from my grasp, "Fuck off, we just got here," He mutters, Conner must think I couldn't hear it. He had already downed three Bud lights and a couple of shots of cheap vodka, now he is nursing another beer in hand. 

"Excuse me?" I say, narrowing my eyes. Everyone around the fire pauses their conversation to tune into mine. "Come on," I stand up and try to pull him along so we can have a conversation away from the prying eyes of our friends.

I can't pull the mass of the 6'2 quarterback along with me but he obliges and follows me where I yank him. As I drag him along the rest of the group giggle and makes jokes along the lines of 'Trouble in paradise' but Ellie is the only one who doesn't jump back into mindless conversation, her unnerving eyes are still on me while I chew my boyfriend out by the shoreline. 

"Why do I have to leave just because you're feeling a little bummed out?" 

I'm almost floored at out someone can lack so much empathy "Because you're my boyfriend?" I can feel myself tensing up.

"Why does that mean you can't get up and leave on your own?" He defends "You begged me to come here and now I just wanna down a couple of beers and hang out with my friends."

"You've already drank like twenty!" I retort.

"It's a fucking party!" Conner says, raising his voice "It's a party and it's summer and you're seriously trying to tell me not to have fun?"

"Fuck!" I shout in frustration "Why don't you ever call me? Why can't you ever let me in?" The argument is quickly escalating "Why didn't you tell me that you kissed Tamar and why haven't you told me that you love me?"

"Because I don't."

My words fail me. I knew he didn't, I knew that he hardly even liked me. My dad had thought so highly of him, she said he was the type of guy to rescue a baby from a burning building but as I look at him now, I figure that he eats babies.

I almost open my mouth to say something different, almost, but I don't. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I didn't, I might've been able to salvage the rotting corpse of my relationship with Ellie but I didn't. "Fine," I say, voice calm and quiet "Let's stay."

Before that night I had never really gotten drunk but the second I got back to the bonfire, I was digging through the cooler and shotgunning canned Smirnoff. "Woah," Riley laughs "Someone's finally being a bad influence."

I got myself so shit-faced that when everyone else got up to dance to the music blaring through the Bluetooth speaker, I sat by myself at the shoreline, looking bitterly out towards to ocean while the tides crash at my feet and get sucked back into the ocean. For a moment I think about jumping in and letting my lax body get washed away and sink beneath the surface until I wash up as a water-bloated corpse that some nine-year-old will find when they're beach combing.

My mouth tastes like peroxide and blood, my lungs burn with a red-hot pain. The wind is becoming increasingly harsh and I ignore the hair that is tangled into my golden hoop earrings.

"Wow, you look awful," I don't need to turn around to know who it is.

"Can you just fuck off?" I say "I don't give a shit about you, just leave me alone."

She always had to antagonize me, Ellie went out of her way to stray from the group and bother me. It had something to do with the alcohol in her system. Despite her alleged hatred for me, she takes a seat next to me regardless.

"Fuck, you're so sensitive," She scoffs "I don't know why you're dating him, I'm not even sure why you'd want to fuck him unless you're too lazy to jerk off-

My hands think before my head and I deck Ellie right in the side of her face, getting a solid hit to her cheekbone. My hand flies over my mouth "I'm sorry, I-

Ellie doesn't waste any time in lunging back at me, she pushes me down by my shoulders until my back is in the shallow of the water that moments ago just splashed at my feet and takes a swing. The impact of her punch almost knocks me sober.

I take a sharp inhale, grabbing her elbows and pulling her down to where she was the one on her back and I was the one straddling her. I land one last blow to her nose, I hear a crunch and the panic immediately sends me scrambling to my feet. My eyes go wide at the blood dripping down, her face I turn to run but Ellie is faster, she grabs me by my hair and yanks me down further into the water with her. 

"Fucking cunt!" I cry, though my scream is drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud tides crashing on the shore "Get the fuck off me!" 

Ellie is better at fighting than I am, I had never been on this side of her before, usually, I had been the one to drag her away from fights but now I am the one who is going to stumble home numb from the devastating pain.

Frankly, I'm fucking scared.

She continues to drag me by my hair until I'm knee-deep in the water with her, she almost throws her entire weight into me, dunking me beneath the surface where her bony hands snake around my neck. My eyes have gone blurry with the salt water, they sting and burn. I can't see anything, all I can do is uselessly thrash beneath her. My hands push against her face, trying to pry her off my body. 

Eventually, I manage to claw her face with my fingernails, I dig deep enough that it breaks skin and she recoils just enough for me to knee her in the stomach and let me get out from under her. Just as I try to slip away she reaches for my hair again, but instead of tugging on my hair, she rips out my gold hoop earring. I screech out in agony, hand reaching for where the metal sliced through the lobe of my ear, I shudder in pain; my cries are now jagged and harsh.

This is the exact moment Ellie begins to regret what she's done. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to." Her tone softens and she tries to approach me but I back away from her like a frightened dog.

"Get away from me!" Despite the pain surging in my body, I find the strength in me to hit her again, she staggers back tripping into the water. I hit her so hard that I feel a crack in my knuckle and I yelp out in the immediate shock of pain. 

I wasn't sure when the others had noticed this was happening probably because my vision had gone blurry from salt water and adrenaline but before Ellie could hit me again, she was being restrained by Riley and Kennedy while some guy who I had probably had two conversations with dragged my back to shore.

I keel over on my hands and knees and begin to start retching onto the sand. Laila rubs a gentle hand on my back, my hair sticking wet on my forehead. A seagull, disturbed by the commotion, took flight, its wings cutting through the charged air. 

Next to the pile of vomit I just heaved, blood drips down from my ear, pooling and then soaking into the sand. My neck swells from what is still the raw sensation of Ellie closing her hands around it. 

I look up at Ellie, there is blood that has dripped its way into her mouth, clinging to her white teeth. She has what almost looks like a cat scratch running down her cheek, blood begins to prick and spill from the lacerations.

She stares back at me and we don't say a word but we understand each other clearly, I never want to see you again.

"Let's go," Ellie grabs my arm as Dina begins to slice the cake "We're gonna fix this right now."

"Ellie, there are so many people here," I say in a hushed tone so people can't hear me.

"I don't mean here," She looks at me, face expressionless "Just get in my car."

"Excuse me?" I say, tone accusing "Did you just order me to get in your car?"

"Fuck," She sighs, dropping my wrist to rub her hands down her face "Please can you get in my car so we can work this through."

"There's nothing to work through," I retort "You're embarrassed by me or you still secretly hate me and that's fine, I meant what I said on winter break about the lease, the second it's up, I'm getting the fuck out of here."

"What? No, don't- just," She takes a breath, reevaluating what to say "I have a point to make but I can't make it unless you get in my car."

We stare at each other for a moment, I narrow my eyes and she is still unmoving. Every scenario runs through my head of what could be waiting for me in that car.

"Fine."

I sit silently in her passenger seat, my knees are pulled into my chest and I rest my chin on them. Ellie doesn't say anything either as she drives. I watch each traffic light pass me, every street name to try and make sense of where we are going.

I almost feel like I'm going to suffocate beneath the silence of everything going left unsaid.

When I spot the boardwalk up ahead, I know exactly where she's taking me "Ellie, why are we at the beach?" I give her a side glance "Do I need to take out my earrings?"

Heat rises to her cheeks when I say this, "Not yet," She jokes, getting out of her car and grabbing a tote bag from the back seat, and I follow in tow.

We walk past the boardwalk and onto the sandy beach, I'm already not feeling whatever she's doing; there is sand filling up my Converse and a slight wind chill, I'm really wishing I had a hoodie right now. "Can you tell me what we're doing yet?" I'm hugging myself in an attempt to stay warm "If we're still walking on the beach why couldn't we have just walked on the boardwalk instead? It literally has walk in the name." I'm already going off on one of my tangents.

She still walking ahead of me but she briefly turns around to face me "Can you just stop asking questions for a minute?"

"Okay, whatever," I mutter, trailing behind her still. I can hardly see in the night, the only light to guide us is the moon and the warm ceiling lamps from restaurants along the boardwalk. I can vaguely see Ellie's silhouette, she's outlined by the gentle glow radiating off the moon, I try my best not to stumble over things poking out of the sand that have been lost to sight by darkness. 

"Okay," Ellie stops, "Here we are."

"Where are we?" I ask "I can't see shit, I don't know where here is."

Ellie digs around in her pocket for her phone and turns on a flashlight and it reveals a small iron firepit that was cemented into a slab of concrete in the sand. She hands me her phone so I can keep the flash on her and she can see what she's doing. 

She pulls out some pages ripped out from her notebook "Can you hand me your lighter?"

My eyebrows furrowed, and I felt around in my pocket wondering if I even had one. I did, it had slipped my mind that I still had the bic lighter that I confiscated from Peach Fuzz. I hand the lighter to her and watch as she tucks the pages beneath logs that were in the firepit before we arrive, they are somewhat charred but still viable.

She flicks the lighter to ignite it and the paper catches immediately. The initial flicker grew into a tentative blaze, licking at the edges of the kindling. The crackling sound echoed through the night. 

Once she is sure the fire can survive without her feeding it, she steps away. "Alright, let's have it out."

"Like sex?" I scrunch up my nose.

"Oh my god, no, like let's talk this through." She pinches her nose bridge, taking a breath in before exhaling and putting her hand back down "We're gonna recreate the night of the bonfire how it should've been," Ellie reached back into her bag and pulled out two white claws "I snagged these from Dina's party, sorry this was kind of last minute."

I can't help the smile that grows on my face, I take one of the white claws and crack it open "I don't know how authentic this is gonna be if there isn't any canned Smirnoff."

I think back to exactly how that night played out and I take a seat on the sand, facing the crashing dark ocean. I sip my white claw, as expected Ellie takes a seat next to me, just what happened on the actual night.

"Wow," She says "You look really pretty and I'm an idiot for ever saying you looked awful," Ellie looks gorgeous illuminated by the orange light of the fire, and the breeze causes her flyaway hairs to drift in the wind. "I'm an asshole for pretending that I didn't know you, I was scared I would get hurt again and take it to heart like I did last time. I promise the second we get home that I'll come clean."

I don't know if I can deal with this sugary philosophy. She's being so sweet that it's rotting my teeth.

"Ellie," I say gathering my thoughts, it was so hard being honest with my feelings, it felt like I would get hospitalized if I showed any emotion. "I was so in love with you in high school that it killed me, and I was terrified that my parents would throw me out well, they did- but that's why I pushed you away and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't regret it." 

The surprise on her face morphs into a soft smile "What about now?" she asks "Do you still love me?"

I shrug, it's honest "I dunno, but I think there's room to try."

She looks from me to the ocean and the way the moonlight glitters off the surface "What happened next?" Ellie toys with the tab of her drink "Did you hit me?"

"Yeah," I say softly, following her gaze out to the waters "But if we're doing the night how it should've been, I'd rather just kiss you."

Ellie turns her head back to look at me. She shoves her white claw into the sand then takes my face into one of her hands and kisses me like it's her job, so tender and carefully like she's afraid I will break beneath pressure.

How weak have I become? My heart is so full of her that I can hardly call it my own.

A/N: Be grateful for this ending because I was very tempted to give you guys an unhappy one. Sorry that I forgot to post this lol, I’m sad this series is over but excited to show you all my next one which may be the angst-iest yet 👀

Thanks for reading!

Tag list: @elliesaturnsoftdrink @elliesaesp @melanie-watermelon @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @skylerwhitwyo @lmaoo-spiderman @joliettes @kittnii @taylorgracies @sameenatruther @mikellie @belles-hell @fullmachinegirl @eveshyper @whosmica

[chiaraswritings]

Unexpected.

Disclaimer: I do not own DC or their characters, or their settings. This is certainly not canon.

Warnings & Topics: Suggestive themes, emotional distress, physical exhaustion, pregnancy. 18+.

Word Count: 3.9K words

Summary: Batmom! reader finds out she is pregnant a short time after marrying Bruce Wayne, not in the most pleasant of ways. Telling him won't be easy, but Alfred gives her some encouragement.

Author's note: After four hours of work, I deem my first fanfiction suitable for posting. Thank you for all the support. I hope you enjoy.

It'd been two months since that beautiful, blissful, romantic day. Actually, two months, two weeks, and one day. But who was counting, right?

The newspapers were. Headlines of gossip news, huge block letters in bold, depicted that I had been spotted at the gym alone again, also describing their support for my "weight loss journey" since I had been "losing my figure". I had been reading this article over and over for about an hour. Damn. I inspected the black and white photo of myself in leggings and a tank top. The worst part about, well, everything, is that they were right. I was losing my figure, noticeably. 

I didn't even notice Alfred behind me until he spoke. "No matter how many times you read them, the words are not going to change, ma'am."

I jumped slightly. I hadn't been sleeping or eating well at all, my back and chest ached too much to relax, and heartburn hit me like a batarang after meals. I think I had gotten thirty hours of sleep in the last week, and maybe one meal a day. "Thank you, Alfred. Do you know when dinner will be ready?" 

"In a half hour, ma'am." The butler moved to the other end of the kitchen table to face me. "Those words in the paper are words that all who love you disagree with."

Alfred's words touched me if only a little, and I set down the paper. "Thank you, I think I'm going to take a walk." 

He looked concerned, but just for a moment. "Alright, ma'am. Try not to be late, the chicken may be devoured." 

Chuckling, I stepped out into the early evening light. I would not be late for dinner, living with five hungry men teaches you a lot. The sunlight embraced me, bathing me in its gentle rays, glimmering over my face. I felt positively glorious. Closing my eyes, I soaked it in. My husband would soon be home to kiss me and keep an arm around my waist. The simple thought of his touch made my mouth stretch into a smile. Five more minutes, and I'll go in. 

Five minutes turned into twenty. Being amongst the blooming flowers and the busy insects kept me occupied. Not only that, but a sudden headache had overtaken me. I sat in the grass, unladylike, watching the bees collect their last supply of nectar from the flowers for the day. Grass stains never bothered me anyway. I knew time was getting away from me, but I couldn't seem to bring myself to focus on anything. I didn't want to go inside because I didn't want bedtime to arrive. It was too painful to even think about. My head and back reminded me of that even now. 

My vision blurred slightly, I could only focus on a single flower on the bushes before me, bees continuing to fly around it. This was nice. I couldn't focus on a single thing, or think about anything, or worry.

I felt myself fall, sort of, to the ground. Fall was the best word I know to describe it. I was already sitting on the ground, but my muscles suddenly felt like pudding. My head bumped to the grass and laid to rest. Terror gripped my heart and throat for a single second before everything just... relaxed. My vision went next, but I was okay with that. This was so relaxing. I wanted to stay.

...

"Madam. Madam (Y/N)!" The voice came from... maybe a mile away. Maybe. Maybe ten miles. Maybe a hundred.

"(Y/N), madam (Y/N)!" Something cold was on my face. Ugh. I don't like that. The wind bit and stung at where the cold wetness was on my cheek. Ouch.

"Wake up, madam!" No. I don't want to. Go away. But the voice sounds scared.  

I slowly, slowly, with great effort, opened my eyes. Instantly they closed again. My friend the butler was hovering over me. What was his name again?

"Mom!" New voice. Go the hell away. I open my eyes again. 

"I'm here, I'm fine." Sitting up took much more strength than opening my eyes, but I managed to do so. Dick and Alfred worriedly stare at me. "I was just taking a nap."

"That wasn't a nap, it looked like you passed out." Dick was the one with the cold wet cloth. He put it to my head again. I gave him a withering glare, and he pulled it away again, looking apologetic. 

"It was a nap, of course I didn't pass out. Now let me return to it," I waved my hand in no particular direction, trying to shoo them away like mice.

"I am afraid I cannot allow you to sleep on the cold ground in nothing but your loungewear, ma'am." Alfred took the cloth from Dick and put it to my forehead. 

Lord, they were being so annoying, I just wanted to go back to sleep. My eyelids drooped and my words slurred. "Bed hurts too much right now... just come back later..." my head finally dropped forward as vision began to diminish again. 

I couldn't really tell what they said next. What I could remember was, "Inside now... call the... when they can see her..." and "...got her... go and tell him... I've got it..." 

The sensation of being lifted did not startle my dozing. Neither did the shouting, nor the feeling of hands on my face. I had earned this sleep, and I was going to... enjoy... it...

...

I was awake, but I didn't want to open my eyes. It wasn't time. Please don't let it be time. I peeked a glance at my watch. Eight in the morning on a Sunday? Yeah, back to sleep we go. 

Before I could return to my dreamless sleep, I became aware of unidentified breathing beside me. Was that Titus? Or maybe Alfred. Maybe I had been kidnapped. Did I care? Hell to the no. All I cared about at this present moment was slumber. If I was kidnapped, I could sleep all I wanted while I waited for them to rescue me.

Then, like a train, uninvited and on its own, the back pain hit my lower body. I couldn't help the moan of discomfort that tore from my throat.

Instantly, a hand went to my forehead. It felt so cold against my warm head. I'd better see who this person with the cold hands is and tell them to go stick their fingers in a campfire before touching me again.

 When I opened my eyes, I realized I wasn't even in the garden anymore. Alfred, I told you I wanted to stay on the ground. But it wasn't Alfred who had put freezing digits on my forehead. It was my husband, my dearest Bruce, my wonderful partner in... crime didn't seem like a good choice of words. His worried blue eyes bored into my sleep-deprived (Y/C) eyes. Ouch, that gaze made my headache come back.

"Hello. Go warm your hands up," I told the love of my life before closing my eyes again. The light from the window seemed to be penetrating my very brain. 

"My hands are warm," replied the bearer of freezing fingers.

"Please, feels like your hands went to the Artic circle for winter vacation." My stubborn retort took a lot out of me, but I could practically hear his small smile. 

"There's my girl," he murmured. I opened my eyes again to smile at my wonderful... freezing... man. 

"Yeahhh, your girl's going back to dreamland. Night night." I grunted at the pain stabbing me in the back, the throbbing in my head, and the emptiness in my stomach.

"Not yet, sweetheart. Stay right here. The doctor's going to be here at ten, you should freshen up a bit." 

I opened one eye to glare unhappily at him. "Don't need a doctor. Need a nap."

His chuckle annoyed me to the very core, almost scaring away the shooting pains in my back. "I'm sorry, but this needs to happen. Do you know how worried we all were when we heard you had fainted in the garden? The boys hardly wanted to go on patrol, they wanted to look after you."

"The boys didn't want to go on patrol? You didn't want to look after me?" I glared playfully at my handsome knight. "And I didn't faint... just took a nap."

"On the cold hard ground?" His questioning gaze made me open both my eyes.

"Yes, it felt nice on my back." 

"Does your back still hurt, sweetheart?"

"Yes, it still hurts." 

"And you didn't feel like sleeping in the bed?"

"The hell is this, an interrogation?" 

"Maybe," he grinned.

"Go away," I retorted, closing my eyes. "I have to go to work, no time for doctors."

"I called and told them you can't come in this week."

"This... this is why I married you."

It didn't take long to fall back into blissful, painless paradise. Bruce left me alone, but I knew he was close by, watching over me. The mansion was so quiet and peaceful, I knew the boys were fast asleep.

Much too soon, I was being kissed awake. 

"Darling, Doctor Thompkin's here. It's time to wake up." Bruce's forehead kisses were, for the very first time in our relationship, annoying. 

"Ugh." I rolled over to escape, my back cracking. 

"Upsy daisy." He stroked my back, gently massaging my painfully aching muscles.

Sitting up took all the strength I had, and yet I had to find more to answer the questionnaire the doctor was springing upon me. Bruce stepped out mid-examination to answer a phone call, leaving the woman to observe my body and take into consideration my answers to her questions. Her questions seemed endless. "Have you been out of the country in the last month?" 

"No."

"Have you been feeling depressed or hopeless?"

"No."

"Are you on any medications?"

"No."

"Do you or any family members have history of scoliosis?" 

"No."

"History of heartburn?"

"No."

"When was your last menstrual cycle?"

"It's marked on the calendar, couple pages back." 

"Do you know what year it is?"

I gave her a funny look. "Of course I do, what's wrong with you?" Now I feel bad for saying that, but I certainly didn't in the moment.

The doctor chuckled, her friendly eyes had laughter lines around them. "Just wanted to make sure you're still with me. Are you on birth control?"

"Yes."

"How long have you been on birth control?" 

"Couple months. I went on it during our honeymoon."

"During?"

"Yes, we realized condoms and plan B weren't as convenient as the pill."

"I'm going to need a blood sample and then we're done here. I'll be in touch with the results. You don't seem to be suffering from scoliosis, but I'll contact you about x-rays to confirm. I haven't made a house call in a long time, or practiced family medicine, but I'll do everything I can to make sure we get to the root of this."

"Okay." 

The blood draw seemed to take longer than I remembered blood draws taking. The prick of the needle didn't disturb the haze of sleepiness that still surrounded me. The woman's departure signaled another wave of sleepiness to wash over me. Bruce and Alfred were showing the doctor out as my head hit the pillow. Pain shot up my back, but sleep had already captured me. 

Tomorrow turned into today, and then today became yesterday. It felt like I slept the whole Monday, skipping work and family dinner. Tuesday morning came with sunshine and kisses from my darling husband as I slowly opened my eyes. 

"Hi," I smiled at him. One of Bruce's arms was holding me almost loosely as he lay next to me in the white sheets. He looked worn and tired from a long night of patrol. I sniffed him. Good, he had showered. 

"Hello." His tired kiss on my lips was slowly waking me. "I love you."

"I love you too," I told him. My smile was getting bigger and my world was waking up. I traced the shape of his exhausted eyes. "Close your eyes. Sleep." 

"Mmph." His eyes closed and his body relaxed under my touch. Normally, Bruce was the one to hold me tight and kiss me to sleep, to caress my body and keep me safe. Looking over his body, I realized that he had been through a difficult night of patrol. A stitched gash across his back, an unhappy bruise on his jaw, scratches on his forearms. Worrying about my "condition" probably hadn't helped him stay alert out there in the dangerous night of Gotham. Guilt washed over me. My arms protectively wrapped around my dearest husband, my lips pressing to his forehead. Today, I was going to keep him safe, I was going to comfort him through his slumber.

...

Bruce's snoring wasn't exactly a lullaby, so I was up and about after a few hours. The boys were crashed in their rooms and Alfred was busy baking something that smelled like chocolatey deliciousness. I was looking over the morning paper, again, skimming for any mention of my family or I. Unhealthy habit, you could say. I was curled up in an armchair next to the bed, keeping the rustling of the newspaper pages to a minimum.

Vibrations of Bruce's cell phone made me look up. As silently as I could, I leaped up and grabbed the phone from the bedside table on Bruce's side. My husband's sleep was important to me, and if I had it my way, nothing at all would disturb it, not even nightmares. 

I carried the cell phone out of the bedroom and glanced at the caller ID. Doctor Thompkins. Results. Yes. This wasn't the first time I had answered my husband's phone, so I wasn't going to feel guilt over finding out my own test results. "Hello?"

"(Y/N), hello. I'm calling with your results."

"Tim's been telling everyone in the family it's yellow fever, please prove him wrong."

"Hah, no, it is not yellow fever... I'd say it's something a little more... serious."

I stiffened. My aching back didn't like that. "What's up?"

"We spoke about your history with birth control, but we need to talk about it again. It would seem that there was some window of time where you and Bruce were not using protection."

My backache must've hit my brain, because looking back, I can't believe I didn't catch on. "Bruce gave me a disease?"

"Not a disease. You're pregnant, (Y/N). I can't make an estimate on how many weeks you are, but I'm going to give you the contact information for an OBGYN. Make an appointment as soon as you can. Congratulations, Mrs. Wayne."

...

When Bruce woke up, I had to apologize to him for his cracked cell phone screen. I told him the truth, that I'd dropped it, but I didn't explain that it was from shock. He told me it was alright, that he'd pick up a new one, but he wasn't quite sure why I looked so very upset over dropping his phone. That would explain itself in time.

I didn't eat a thing at dinner that night, despite my full plate and coaxing from my family. Even the finest cut of steak is unappealing when something like that is on one's mind.

Who wouldn't overthink a thing like this? Pregnant, after a literal two months of marriage? Pregnant, while caring for four boys that you saw as your sons? Pregnant, after your husband had told you he didn't want anymore children? Pregnant, after you had both tried to be careful? Pregnant, to one of the greatest vigilantes and most successful businessmen in the world? Pregnant. I am pregnant. I might have my husband's baby.

"Mom!"

My head jerked up and I was greeted by five concerned faces. 

"Ma, you look like you're in another world," Jason forked a piece of potato. 

"Maybe I am in another world, Jay-Jay." I smiled slightly before standing. Ten eyes observed my every move. 

"Ummi, where are you going?" Damian, the one who I expected would be the least concerned, watched me with huge, worried eyes. 

"I think I need to sleep more. I will see you all tomorrow morning." I kissed every head at the table, my lips lingering on my husband's forehead. He rested his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me down for a gentle kiss. I think he noticed my hesitance, but I didn't stop to think about it or explain. My back only permitted me to walk up the stairs, but if I could've run, I would've.

Once Bruce and the boys had left for their night of patrol, I breathed again. Laying on the bed, clutching my pillow to my chest, trying to rehearse how I would address the situation to Bruce, it took a lot out of me. "Bruce, I need to tell you something," I mumbled. "No... Bruce, we need to talk." 

"Madam, I am not sure if you have noticed, but Master Bruce is not here." Alfred's voice startled me for the second time this week.

"I wish he was. I'm sorry, I'm... practicing." I tried to give my friend a reassuring smile but it came out as a grimace. 

"Good luck, madam," Alfred set down a cup of tea on my bedside table and gave me a genuine Alfred smile. Before he was out of the room, he turned back and looked me dead in the eye. "Master Bruce loves you very much, Madam (Y/N). He would not have married you if he was not ready to take on the unexpected. He will not turn you away when you tell him, so try not to overthink." 

I looked straight back into this wonderful gentleman's eyes. "Thank you."

...

I tried to sleep through the night, I really did. When dawn and my boys arrived, I was still wide awake, not having slept a wink. I trotted down the stairs to the batcave, taking extra care not to trip. Once on the floor, we went through our post-patrol routine of inspecting each one of my boys. First Damian, who shrugged me off several times before allowing me to look over him, then Tim, who accepted my worrying for what it was, then Jason, who pretended to be annoyed for show, then Dick, who looked over me as carefully as I looked over him, then finally Bruce, who would not stop kissing me, barely giving me a chance to check him for injuries. 

No one was truly hurt, but all but one were tired as they pulled off their suits. The boys trudged upstairs to their rooms, but my husband carried me valiantly up the stairs to our place in the master bedroom, like a knight carrying his princess.

Once the bedroom door was shut and he had set me down, I was instantly on my back laying on the bed, Bruce's lips showing affection to my neck and collarbone. A soft, throaty moan left my mouth as my husband kissed me, his hands working their way over my body. I was clothed in my favorite outfit of a tank top and leggings, and I knew they were at risk of being torn from my torso and limbs if I allowed this to continue. Besides... I had to tell Bruce. 

"Darling..." the word I said was half-moaned. "Darling, please, you need to shower."

"I thought you liked my scent?" Bruce chuckled, looking up at me, his hands working their way up my shirt. 

"Mmm, I do, but you are going to dirty our sheets that Alfred worked so hard to wash." 

"You have a valid point, but I don't like it." Bruce grinned and pulled off the little clothing he wore. I chuckled and rolled my eyes, watching him make his way to the shower. If I hadn't had such a burden on my mind, I would've joined him. I could hear him muttering insults at the slippery bar of soap that his large fingers always seemed to have trouble grasping, and it made me smile. My hand absentmindedly rested on my stomach and I wondered if his child would have the same troubles as their father.

Bruce's shower was shorter than usual. Much shorter than if I had been in there with him. Chuckling, I made room for my knight in the bed. He hadn't bothered to put on clothes, or dry his hair. Bruce climbed on top of me, drops of water falling from his hair to my chest. His lips reattached to mine, devouring the kiss like a wild man. I knew what he had on his mind from the way he caressed my body, and I had to put a stop to it. 

"Bruce... Bruce, wait." 

Concerned eyes met mine. "(Y/N)?"

Alfred's words replayed in my mind. He would not have married you if he was not ready to take on the unexpected. I stared into the beautiful blue eyes I had grown to take comfort in. "Bruce, Doctor Thompkins diagnosed me."

Instantly, his desire was forgotten. Bruce sat back on the bed and pulled me onto his lap. "Tell me, darling, what is it?"

His arms made me feel so safe. He will not turn you away when you tell him, so try not to overthink. "I... you need to expect the unexpected."

"So I'm guessing it's not yellow fever, since that's what Tim expects," Bruce smiled. The gentle attempt at humor didn't lift the worry in his eyes. 

"Heh, no... not exactly. It's... it's a baby." The last three words were much quieter than the others. 

Bruce looked at me quizzically. "I don't think I heard you correctly." 

"A baby," I honestly voiced my diagnosis, somewhat fearfully looking into his eyes. "I'm pregnant."

Bruce's glare pierced mine. He gently slid me off his lap and set me on the bed before standing and walking to the window to silently stare out of it. His breathing had changed, his body was stiff, everything about him seemed cold and hardened. 

My worst fears bit and tore at my heart, anxiety gripping my throat like a murderer. Oh Lord, he doesn't want me anymore. I didn't know whether to go to him, or leave the mansion, or stay in the bed, or cry, or speak. So I just waited, for a full two minutes, staring at my husband's scarred back. After waiting that long, tears began to prick at my eyes. I finally laid down and curled into the cold sheets. "I'm sorry."

I heard him turn. "What are you sorry for?"

"Not paying attention to my birth control. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," my tears left wet spots on the pillowcase. I closed my eyes tightly. 

Then I felt his weight on his side of the bed, he was laying beside me. Bruce collected me into his arms, tilting my chin up, asking me silently to look at him. I opened my wet eyes. 

"I'm not angry with you. I'm thinking about it. Just let me think." Bruce's rough, calloused fingers brushed against my peach soft cheek.

"Okay." I closed my eyes to fight back angry, hot tears. He pulled me to his chest, holding me to himself. I could practically hear the wheels turning in his head. 

He must've held me like that for an hour before he finally, finally spoke. "Well, this isn't what I thought two months into our marriage would look like." 

My tears had left stains on his chest. Only a surge of bravery made me look up at him. "Yeah."

He looked down at me, smiled, kissed my lips, and I felt my husband's love course through my body. He may have turned me away physically, but he had never turned me away emotionally. I sat up on his lap, straddling him, my forehead resting on his, my hands on his cheeks. "I love you."

"And I love you," Bruce's fingers brushed against my waist. He seemed hesitant, and his eyes met mine. "May I?"

I was confused for a moment, but then I realized and nodded, beaming. "Yes."

His large hand rested on my stomach. The wheels in his head were still turning, but they had calmed, and they were only turning in the name of love. 

"Expect the unexpected." 

[luvyeni]

MY SHY NEIGHBOR ( chapter. 27 )

💬authors note: 1 more chapter until the epilogue and the its over, i can't believe it, seems like it went by fast. I hope you like this i had to add a little shy innie at the end i mean it wouldn't be my shy neighbor if he wasn't...

— CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: after the date ...

— 𖦹 warnings? smut, language, sex ( f. receiving), unprotected sex, fluff

previous chapter - next chapter - my shy neighbor masterlist

"I'm just saying mines was just as good as yours." Jeongin said as you made your way up the elevator to your floor. "Jeongin you painted a flower." You shook your head at the boy.

"Yeah but it was a good flower." He fought back. "Yeah, it was." You agreed. "But not better than mines." He rolled his eyes. "You are really cocky you know that?" You hummed. “I’ve been painting since i was like 8, of course i'd be better than you." You said.

"But it's cute you're all pouty because of it." You pinches his cheek. "Stop it." He took your, putting it down at your waist as you walked up to your apartment door — but you decided you wanted to tease him even further. "Why? look at you blushing, you're so cute." Jeongin didn't know what happened, he didn't know if it was the condescending tone in your voice or the fact that you kept calling him baby — but before he could stop himself, he was pushing up against the wall, pinning your arms down, his forehead pressed against yours.

“Why are you such a brat?" Your eyes widened, you saw this coming, but it still shocked you. "I told you be good and your can't even do that." His voice dripped in lust, his hands keep you from moving. "Stop squirming, didn't you want  this, you've been egging me on for weeks now." He dipped his head into the crease of your neck, kissing it, you sighed. "J-jeongin, in-inside." You stuttered.

He let your hands go, freeing you from his hold , but that ended shortly as soon as you turned to open the door, he was pressed up against you once again,  whispering all the filthy shit he was going to do to you. "open this fucking door now." You finally got the door open, he softly pushed you into your apartment, his lips collided with yours before you could even close the door, he kicked the door close, using his memory to guide you back to your room without removing his lips from yours.

He finally let you up for air, just to push you down on to your bed. "Lay back." You listen, he smirked. "So you can be a good girl and listen." He hovered above you. "Too bad, it's a little too late for that." He left teasing kisses on your neck, pressing his hard on against your clothed heat, you whined. "Jeongin." You tried to grind against him, but he held your waist down. "You don't call the shots anymore princess, stay the fuck still."

That sent a wave of pleasure to your heat, soaking through your panties even more. After teasing you a bit more, he finally grabbed your waist band, pulling down on pants, throwing them to the side. "Open those pretty legs." He slapped the fat of your thighs, you yelped, spreading your legs.

“Look at that, you're all wet and i didn't even do anything." He smirked. "Pissing me off so i can treat you like a slut,  really turns you on." You moaned, wanting to tease him a bit more. "I-i told you it turns me on”

“Yeah, i bet it does." He scolded. "Slut." He pressed down on your clothed clit with his thumbs. "Fuck." You cursed. "So fucking wet already." He pulled your panties down, your wet cunt on display.

He groaned at the sight, "so much prettier in person." He slowly rubbed figure eights on your clit, you moaned out in pleasure. "Yeah, think you could cum just by me playing with your little clit?" You nodded. "Y-yes." He sped up, pressing your hips down so you couldn't move. "Fu-fuck jeongin." you cursed, your cunt begging to be filled with anything. "you're gonna cum?" He smirked. "Y-yeah."

You felt your orgasm approaching, the band was so close to snapping — until it wasn't. Your closed eyes, shot open, being met with jeongin, smirking above you. "Wh-what?" You whined, he chuckled.

"You really though i was gonna let you cum that easily princess?” He brought his fingers to his mouth. "Taste so good, just like i thought you would be." You were stilled pissed at your wasted orgasm. "Y-you're being mean.” Am i?" He kissed your stomach where your shirt rolled up. "I guess, you don't want me to eat your pretty pussy." You quickly shook your head.

"Pl-please." He chuckled, his head now fully in between your legs. "I-innie please." You whined as he kissed everywhere but where you wanted. "Be calm princess, you won't get what you want by acting like a inpatient slut." He kissed your clit, giving it a kitty lick. "Fu-fuck." He kept licking at your folds, his nose constantly bumping against your clit. "You taste so fucking good princess." He groaned against your folds. "Wanna stay down here forever." You moaned, this most definitely wasn't the shy jeongin you once knew — and you damn sure weren't complaining.

 “Sh-shit, innie — m'gonna cum." He messily made out with your cum, you were a mess, on the brink of a orgasm once again, when once again it was torn away from you. "Fuck why!”

He let out a cheeky laugh at your misery. “I’m just getting you back princess, I told you I want you to beg me to let you cum.”

He finally got up, unbuckling his pants , letting them fall to the floor, his hard on bulging in his boxers. “This what you wanted right?” He palmed his cock, you bit your lip, nodding. “Been waiting for my cock for the longest haven’t you?”

He climbed back on to the bed, pulling his underwear enough to let his cock out — you’ve seen his cock before he was big and thick, his tip dripped with pre-cum, but you only dreamt of what it would be filling you up. “Look at you drooling, princess so dumb for my cock.”

He lifted your legs up, his cock resting on your stomach. “gonna fill this pretty cunt up.” He rubbed his tip on your clit. “I-innie.” You moaned, “please just put it in.” He smirked. “beg.”

You whined, trying to reach for his cock, but he slapped you hand. “Did I say touch it?” He said. “You  don’t listen princess, I said fucking beg for my cock.”

“Pl-please fuck me.” You said, “I didn’t mean to tease you, I promise I wont do it again.” He groaned at your whiny tone, your fucked out face — so desperate to cum.

“Fuck.” He rubbed your folds with his cock, pushing his tip into the hole. “Sh-shit.” He sighed, pushing deeper into your wet cunt. “fuck your pussy is so wet.” He groaned. “and tight.”

He finally bottomed out fully, lifting your shirt up above your chest. “So fucking pretty.” He began to move his hip — your moans filling his ears like music. “s-so big.” He began to pick up the pace, your boobs moving at the impact. “You’re taking my cock so well princess, this is the good girl I wanted.” He moaned. “My pretty girl.”

Hearing him call you that , and your two previous orgasm denials — you were quickly approaching your high as he fucked into you vigorously. “i-innie.”

He moaned , so many emotions running through his mind. “Fuck princess, you gonna cum?” You nodded. “Please, please can I cum?” You asked so cutely. “Yeah princess.” He pressed his thumb down on your clit. “Since you asked so nicely, go a head and cum on my cock.”

Your eyes rolled to the back of the head, your legs stiffening as you came. “Fuck!” you cried out. “That’s it -fuck- cum foe me princess.” He fucked you through your high. “Sh-shit im gonna cum.”

“In-inside.” He cursed, was he hearing that right? “Yo-you sure I don’t have— please please cum inside me.” He cursed, rutting his hips against you a few more times, his hips stilling as he came inside your cunt. “Oh fuck!”

He almost toppled over from his orgasm, kissing your temple, both of you huffing. “Did that live up to your expectations?” You laughed, “yes it did.”

He rolled off of you, bringing you close to him. “You’re all sweaty.” You grimaced, he scoffed. “I try and be sweet with you and you say that.” He said. “Next time I try and give you the boyfriend experience.”

That made both of you stop, you smirked. “boyfriend experience?” He coughed, you laughed. “Yeah.” He said, making you go silent again. “Yeah, boyfriend.”

He was quiet for a second, before speaking up. “I know it’s a little backwards, and I should’ve asked you before we had sex even though you’ve given me a blow- Jeongin.” You stopped his rumbling.

“I want you to be my girlfriend.” He said. “We’ve been doing this for a while, and I want to make it official.” He said, still trying to hold onto that guy that just fucked you — but you could still see the shy boy once again slipping through.

“Cute.” You rubbed his cheek, warmly this time. “Of course I will.” He smiled. “Really? You’re serious?” He exclaimed. “I wouldn’t joke like that I promise im not that cruel.” You kissed him softly on the lips. “I already told you I liked you, I was just waiting for you to man up and ask me.”

“Why were you too scared?” You scoffed at his words. “Are you trying to be smart.” He smiled. “yes.” He bopped your nose. “I am.” You let out a tsk. “I missed that shy boy who hid in the elevator from me.” His smiled dropped.

“As my girlfriend you are no longer allowed to talk about that horrid situation.”

— ( taglist. CLOSED ) @soulsbbg @k-poplv @yourmomscuntis2tighy @bbokarimenu @enczen @queen-in-the-shadows @thesweetesttattoo @ririlinoriri @aloverga @ashiitex @ddazed-lhs @heartsforhyunjin @chlodavids @simp4myself @surefornext @lostwonderwall @xxr-s4sha @charmer-c @vixensss @frobin4ever @bmnyy @semi-semiisbae @m111nho @i2innie @aalexyuuuhm @iraa567 @cheshireshiya @ihrtlix @abbiestearsricochet @niaalove @skzswife @babrieeee @thisisnotjacinta @luvskai @ikeusol @costalmaine @whos-kkira @minhosprettywife @hey-hey-heybitch @jeongins-version @denisaandreea20 @lovesunshinefelix @222brainrot @thatgirlkay @ss3oung @number1jeonginstan @whitney190 @jongseongsluvr @chesemonky @worcesheshestershiresauce @puppy-minnie @prettygirlsstanskz @hanniemylovelyquokka

©️LUVYENI

[starlightazriel]

bee 2

desc: (fem reader) modern au best friends to lovers, roommate az, angsty + smutty, multiple parts (not sure how many yet at least 5)

warnings: 18+, drug/alcohol abuse, reader being self concious, jealous az, SEXUAL TENSIonnn, sex dream

wc: 4.1k

other parts will be found on my azriel masterlist

two

I was completely mortified. I could hear Azriel getting ready for the beach in the morning, and no matter how badly I had to pee I refused to exit my room. There was no way I could face him yet.

I hadn't even known how long he had been standing there. Had he heard me moan his name?

I watched my door, listening waiting to hear the front door swing shut. I see darkness under my door and i bite my lip knowing he's standing on the other side.

Don't knock, don't knock, don't knock.

The house was so quiet I could hear him sigh before walking away from my door and I finally heard the front door close.

My phone chimes a moment later as I walk to the bathroom and my stomach churns when I see Azriels name pop up on the screen. i know you worked late i didn't want to wake you up. you gonna come out to the house when you get up?

I swallowed locking my phone again, I'd respond later.

I couldn't stop thinking about what was going through Azriels head. He was probably judging me. I used the bathroom and went back to my room, staring at myself in the mirror. I felt so ashamed, what kind of person just did that in someone else's bed?

I groaned to myself falling back on my bed pressing my hands into my face. He probably thought that I was obsessed with him now. 'your bed is comfortable?' Thats what I had come up with?

And the women he hooked up with? The ones he would meet in bars or bring home from clubs... They just weren't like me. Even though he never really had anything serious except once or twice, his ex girlfriends? All older than him, seasoned, sometimes even married.

It had been near impossible to focus on any homework or studying I hadn't texted Azriel back, hoping he would just leave it alone thinking I was just busy with school work.

My phone chimes with another text, the afternoon sun was peeking through my curtains, I knew I should get up and get out of the house.

kats looking for you. you should get outside you been in all day.

i have a lot of homework azriel I squinted, looking down at the text I had just sent. Since when did I become so formal with him?

please..for me?

My heart leapt and I read the words over and over, pulling my lip between my teeth. Another message popped up.

and for kat? she's begging over my shoulder and she wants me to tell you her phones dead and that's why she hasn't called herself

I sighed softly, that seems more like it, not for Azriel. For Kat, who probably was telling him what to say.

Kat and I had been fast friends ever since Rhys hired her into the shop, she was an aspiring tattoo artist working out her days at the front desk until she was ready to start her apprenticeship. Our friend ship was easy, she was one of the first female friends that I had ever had in my life that I actually trusted.

She sort of knew about my feelings for Azriel, maybe not the extent, but she knew. It wasnt that hard for anyone to figure it out with the way that I looked at him. Anyone except for him, I guessed. Kat had blatantly asked me about it one day, I remembered blushing furiously and staring down at my drink which had been answer enough for her. She pushed me to make a move for a while and eventually gave up, realizing that I would never grow the confidence or the balls to actually do anything about it.

okay give me twenty I finally responded after a long few minutes of debating wether or not I could handle that right now after what had happened yesterday. It had barely even been twenty four hours.

I shake my head, looking at myself in the mirror again, I looked horrible. My hair was messy and I had dark circles under my eyes from working late and not being able to sleep.

I at least had to shower and blow dry my hair. I couldn't show up looking like this. Even if the fate that awaited me was bound to be relentless torture until I was back in the safe confines of my room. Would Azriel even speak to me in person? I wasnt sure I wanted him to, the embarrassment of what he had caught me doing was enough let alone the fact that he had now seen me completely naked. In broad daylight at that. I didnt look like the thinner taller women that Az usually went for, so when I fantasized about what our first time could be like, the lights were always off.

"You're an idiot," I told my reflection, freshly showered and at least a little more presentable. I put on my cream colored string bikini, some shorts, and tied a hoodie around my shoulders, knowing that soon it would be cold on the beach with the evening approaching, I wouldn't stay that long, but just in case. "Azriels probably going to disown you and kick you out of his apartment as soon as he realizes youre a creepy little fuck that's obsessed with him," I added, grimacing at my expression. "And now youre an idiot who's talking to yourself," I groaned again, wishing I could be anywhere else, or anybody else.

-

"Where's your mind been at today?" Rhys asks, plopping down in the sand next to Azriel on the outskirts of the group. They had a fire going the group was lively, Kat dancing to the music that Rhys had put on, Cassian watching, a beer in hand talking to Riley, their newest tattoo artist at the shop. Cass and Azriel himself weren't exactly a fan of the guest artist but what Rhys said they had to go with, as the owner of the shop, he always had the final say. Azriel shrugged, taking a long sip of his drink, his eyes flicking to Rhys.

"Just didnt sleep much," he responds, leaning back into the sand.

"Y/n!" Kat screams then, Azriels eyes land on Bee in the distance, Kat running for her full bore. He swallowed hard watching as they stop a little ways from the outskirts of the rest of the group, his eyes raking over Bees body clad in a little bikini. Her eyes land on his too, for a moment, they quickly dart nervously back to Kat. Azriel wondered what she was thinking, he wondered if she would approach him or ignore him all night.

"The fucking tits on her, you pierced those Cass? What kind of nipples does she have?" Rileys voice interrupted Azriels thoughts and he felt his mouth go dry, his entire body tensing.

"Careful," Cassian warned him, knowing exactly how Azriel could be when anyone disrespected Bee, but now it felt different for Azriel. It wasnt just about feeling the need to protect her, he felt... Jealous. "You know that's classified, client confidentiality," Cass smirked and his eyes drifted over to Azriel who was now completely seething. Who the fuck did Riley even think he was?

"She's off limits," Azriel simply says, trying to mask his tone the best he could from the growl that threatened to slip out.

"Says who, you? She's grown," Riley rises to his feet to greet the pair. Azriel can't bring himself to peel his eyes away.

"I'll fuck him up Rhys," Azriel threatened, his beer forgotten in the sand as he watched the three of them closely.

"I got a good lawyer for you when you do," Cass snickers softly, standing to grab himself another beer from the cooler.

"No ones fighting," Rhys says, glancing between the two of them before rolling his eyes. "Why you so touchy tonight Az?" he just shakes his head, trying his best to tear his eyes away.

"I told you, Im just tired," he stood up, brushing the sand off of himself and advances to monitor the situation.

-

No, no, no no. Don't come over here. Not so soon. I felt like I was going to pass out when I saw Azriel advancing toward us. Kat was annoyed by Rileys approach because she had been trying to figure out why I showed up so late and to ask what had happened yesterday because all I had done was send her 'I need to go live under a rock and die' without any further explanation.

"Bee, you finally left your homework," Azriel speaks, standing directly next to Riley who he'd interrupted, not that I had been listening, I had been internally panicked about this exact moment.

"Well- I um- yeah I got what I needed to done," I lied awkwardly, struggling to get a single word out underneath Az's blatant stare. When had he ever looked at me like that? My gut churned at the thought of what he might actually be thinking. Kat looked between the two of us, squinting, her lips pursing together slightly. She knew she had missed something. He glanced at Riley, annoyance flashing in his eyes and then back at me, I could tell he wanted to say something.

"I can tell you are both dying to get her alone, but I need her first," Kats words had me blushing furiously. Both of them? Dying to get me alone? What was she even thinking? Riley maybe, as he always seemed to flirt with me anytime I would drop by the shop or find myself hanging out with them when Kat or Azriel gave me an invite. But I was almost positive the last thing that Azriel wanted was to be alone with me, maybe to tell me to pack my shit and go. I opened my mouth to say something along the lines of telling her to shut up but she was dragging me away toward the house, away from the beach and the fire they had going. I wondered what the guys were saying, glancing over my shoulder as we walked toward the wrap around porch overlooking the beach. Azriel and Riley were standing there talking now, it looked heated.

"What's going on with you two? Azriel has barely said a word all day and you can't even look him in the face when he shows up," she eyes me, a small smirk threatening at her lips. "You finally fucked him didnt you?" her smirk breaks out in a grin and I pale slightly, falling back into one of the patio chairs.

"I wish. It's bad," I groan, pressing my hands into my face. I didnt even know how to tell her what had happened. I knew it would sound so much worse out loud.

"Im dying to know, you have to tell me," she giggles quietly, her already bubbly voice enhanced with her drunken state.

"He caught me using my vibrator in his room Kat. Im fucking done for," my voice is so quiet that if it wasnt for her laugh I would have thought she didnt even hear me.

"Girl that's crazy. Shit, you have more balls than I thought, maybe more than me," her hand flies to her mouth, my cheeks warm with embarrassment.

"Kat its not funny. I just single handedly destroyed any chance I ever have for him to see me as anything more than the stupid little immature little girl that hes always had to look after," my face is covered by my hands again, and I suddenly wished that I had never even come here.

"You never know y/n," Kat said and I pulled my hands away to look at her. "Maybe this will finally make him realize how much of a woman you've grown into," she added, I swallowed, considering as I looked out to the beach and the water, the boys were sitting around the fire smoking now, laughter could be heard in the distance but I didnt hear Azriels and I paled when I noticed him walking toward the house.

"Hes coming," Kat squeaks out giggling softly and standing up.

"Don't leave me here," I begged quietly, it felt like a rock was forming in the pit of my stomach. She only flashed me a devilish grin before turning around.

"Oh good Az, you can keep y/n company while I get our drinks," Kat threw me one more glance and winked in encouragement, I threw her daggers in response and I suddenly felt naked as Azriel took a seat across from me. The air was cooler now, the sunset quickly approaching. Azriels eyes flicked to my chest, my nipples showing through the thin fabric and his throat bobbed his eyes quickly flicking to mine and I averted my gaze. I couldn't remember him ever looking at me this much.

"Hey," he cleared his throat, and I look at him again, hes blushing. Maybe he was just as embarrassed as I was.

"Um hi," I smile weakly, a blush creeping onto my own cheeks, it was unbearably awkward and I would have to get back at Kat for this some way later.

"So..." he started and I silently begged to any existing higher power to please not let him bring up yesterday. "Are you going to tell me why you were in my room?" he finally said, and I felt my gut reel, wishing a hole would open in the earth beneath me and swallow me up. I shifted in my seat, our eyes met again and there was something new there but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"I told you... Your bed is comfortable," my voice is strained and I felt hot, I wished for him to stop looking at me like that. I couldn't handle his intense stare, I fought the urge to put my hoodie on. He raised his eyebrows, leaning back in his seat, amusement twinkled in his eyes.

"So that's what youre going with?" he cocked his head slightly, tipping his chin up. He was drunk maybe a little high too, I could tell by the way he carried himself, the slight slur in his words.

"I-" I started but couldn't find anything to say, heat pooled in my core at the sight of him, the way his jaw flexed slightly as he waited for my response. "Yeah," I finally mumbled pathetically, he stares his eyes not leaving me I could tell he wanted to ask more questions, wanted to continue.

"What did Riley want?" he then asks, my brows draw together in confusion but I'm grateful for the subject change.

"Riley? Oh, um, there's a piece Ive been wanting to get done and hes only charging me materials we were just talking about it," I swallow, he squints slightly, clearly it was the first he had heard about this, I was sure Riley would have said something.

"Why? You don't want me to do it?" He asked then, an edge in his tone now, a challenge. I swallowed before opening my mouth, and then closing it. My cheeks were blazing as I uncomfortably shifted in my chair, I didnt know how to feel about the air between us. It felt suffocating.

-

"I- Its just in kind of an intimate place, I didnt think you would want to," Bee finally said, she was fidgeting nervously with her fingers, eyes kept darting to his and then away again.

"An intimate place?" Azriel asked slowly, his eyes narrowing slightly, his spine straightened at the thought of Riley tattooing her, his hands on her. It made him sick.

"Come on guys," Kat interrupted, Azriels eyes flickered to her, annoyance written on his face. He made a mental note to further investigate when he was at the shop the next day. "Drunk never have I ever, Rhys brought a bottle," she giggles and grabs Bees hand, Azriel stands to follow them.

"What are we, twelve?" Azriel asked and rolled his eyes as he follows them back to the group, he watched Bee closely as she pulled her hoodie over her body. He was secretly relieved since he hadn't been able to tear his eyes off of her since she had arrived.

"Oh shut up, it will be fun," Kat says as they approached the group, all finding seats around the fire in the sand. Rhys poured a cup of tequila for every one of them, Azriel smiled seeing Bee out of the corner of his vision, sniffing the liquor and scrunching her nose in distaste. They began playing, quickly all becoming quite drunk, he couldn't keep his eyes off of Bee, he wondered if she noticed. She would just blush and look away every time.

Azriel had to give it to Kat, it was entertaining. They were also certainly learning new things about each other. It was dark now, the only light from the fire and the moon, the waves lapped gently against the beach, and it was kind of peaceful.

"Never have I ever had a threesome," Riley said, Azriels eyes flicked to Bee, she didn't drink, neither did Kat. He took a small sip and her eyes widened slightly but she quickly looked away from him, Rhys and Cass also drank and Riley smirked at the two women. "Maybe we can go fix that for all three of us," he said smoothly, licking over his lip, his eyes were fixed on Bee who was blushing furiously now, Azriel tensed, his grip tightening on his cup.

"Oh shut up, y/n and I could find someone so much hotter to have a threesome with," Kat giggles softly, gently nudging her with her shoulder. "Az, its your turn, you have to go," everyone turned to him expectantly, he shrugged, his eyebrows raising slightly as he tried to think of something to say, he had skipped his last two turns.

"Never have I ever fell in love," he finally said, Bees eyes flicked to him and she looked at him curiously, she took a small sip from her cup along with everyone else. "Guess Im the only one."

"You have no heart," Cass snickered, earning a dirty look from Azriel.

"Or youre all just soft," he said back before beginning to roll himself a spliff, Rhys laughed and shook his head. Azriel couldn't help but wonder which one of Bees dumbass ex boyfriends she had been in love with. There was only a couple, he hadn't approved of either of them at the time. "Bee?" Rhys asked then, watching her expectantly, she shrugs looking up to the sky as if it would give her an answer.

"Never have I ever got off from head?" Bee finally says before looking back at the group, everyone took a sip from their cup. Azriels eyes fixed on her now, and he was chewing the inside of his lip, the spliff he had been rolling finished on his lap now. He imagined fixing that for her, he imagined his lips and his tongue all over her body, the sound of her moans filling the room. What the fuck was wrong with him? The thought made his pants feel just the slightest bit tighter.

"That's a sad life, I can fix that one for you too," Riley chimed in, a smirk plastered on his face. Azriel squinted, cleared his throat, his chin tilting up in Rileys direction. Bee was blushing, her eyes fixed on Azriel now.

"No ones fixing anything for anyone," Azriel shrugged, picking up his spliff finally to light it. He noticed Kat looking between him and Bee an excited light in her eyes, what was that about?

"Never have I ever got caught or caught someone masturbating!" Kat chimes out, Bees face goes completely pale and then red a second later before she looks at Kat a horrified expression on her face. They both drank from their cups, eyes only meeting for a split second. She told Kat about what happened? Big mistake.

"So that's why it's been so weird between you two," Cass is snickering from the corner. "I have to ask though, who caught who?" he adds and Bee rose to her feet, quickly, dusting the sand off.

"Bathroom," she manages to get out before she whirled on the group and started walking quickly back toward the house.

"Well that wasnt awkward at all," Cass laughs again, looking back to Kat. Azriel rolled his eyes, dusting the sand off of his clothes as he stands as well.

"Nice one Kat," Azriel growled quietly, she threw her hands up in defense, apologizing quietly. Azriel didnt really care what they would say after he walked away, that didnt really matter. He just wanted to check on her.

He found Bee pacing back and forth in the kitchen nervously and he leaned against the door frame, watching her curiously. He didnt understand his new found interest in his best friend. She had always just been his best friend Bee...

"It's normal you know," he finally spoke, causing her to almost jump out of her skin.

"Can you stop sneaking up on me?!" she demanded, holding her hand to her chest before relaxing. "Yeah, it's normal but not in your roommates room," she added, Azriels lips twitched, a smile threatening at them.

"You wanna go home?" he asked, changing the subject, he gestured toward the front hall of the house that lead to the front door. She relaxed again, looked toward the window out at the group.

"What are they gonna say?" she bit her lip, looking back at Azriel who drew his brows together.

"Bee, we live together, remember? It's normal for us to leave together."

-

Azriel advanced, dropping to his knees in front of his bed before her. Bee looked down at him with her big doe eyes, her lips parting in surprise. She whispered his name softly, holding her vibrator to her clit, it buzzed softly and he pushed her legs open more, his fingers gently squeezing the soft skin of her inner thighs. He groaned softly, dipping his head between her legs and gently lapping up her wetness. She moaned his name again, her voice breaking slightly, her free hand found his hair as her body shook gently beneath him, he knocked the toy away, his lips wrapping around her clit and he sucked on her soft skin, moaning against her at the taste, she cried out again, Azriels name leaving her lips-

Azriel woke to the sound of his alarm and he rolled over, groaning and smashing his hand onto the beeping alarm clock.

"Fucking hell," he breathed, his head absolutely pounding from the amount they had drank last night. His cock ached, completely rock solid from the dream he was having. He rubbed his face, rising to his feet. He knew he had too many early clients to take care of that now, when was the last time he even had a fucking wet dream? High school?

Azriel exited his room to go have a cold shower, Bee smacked into him instantly, their bodies colliding, Azriel held her arms to steady her, their eyes meeting. He rose his eyebrows, usually she was in class on Mondays by now. Or on her way at least. Her lips were slightly parted, cheeks flushed deeply as she looked up at him, he could feel his morning wood throbbing between them. "Late?" he finally speaks, his voice husky from sleep. She seems to snap out of it, shaking her head slightly pulling away, he doesn't miss her eyes widen when they settle on his hard cock that was pressed against his boxers. His cheeks warm as he wondered what she was thinking.

"Y-yes," she stuttered, peeling her eyes away from him finally, her eyes flicking back up to his face. "I'll see you later," she choked out before all but running out of the apartment.

Azriel sighed quietly, missing how easy it had been between them only days ago. He couldn't look at her without wanting to rip her clothes off, he couldn't talk to her alone without her dying to get away, he couldn't even be in his bed without being reminded of her in his bed.

Azriel decided that best friends or not, he would be the one to take care of her next time she needed a roll in the sheets. Maybe then they could act normal, maybe the awkwardness would dissipate. Maybe there was just a weird tension between them now that could be fixed by them fucking.

He had to get rid of his new found curiosity some way. It felt wrong even thinking like that, but he needed to know now. She wasnt just Bee anymore, she was fucking hot, and he didnt understand how he had never even noticed before.

-

a/n: sorry this took so long!! not proof read yet so if you see mistakes lmk <3 comment to be tagged in the next part

[livingformintyoongi]

hello author!!! been loving your work!!!

my request is : enemies to lovers yoongi / oc

They could be former classmates, always fighting for being the class #1. Been rivals through college, and now ended up working for the same company. They get teemed up for the same project and end up working late at the company building (they could be at yoongi's office) .yn and him start bikering about some dumb shit, tension builds up and they fuck on top of his work desk (bj, back shots?, doggy? fucking raw?)

thank you in advanceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Work night

a/n: Thank you for loving my works and for making the request 💕💕, I wrote this with the most depressing songs I could find from Taylor's ttpd album, I hope the effect was anything but depressing. I used the name of the oc I have for Yoongi because in the request it says it's Yoongi/oc, I hope you don't mind :( in any case it only says her name two or three times. warnings: doggystyle, back shot, unprotected sex, bj (m receiving), fucking raw, hair pulling, wc: 3.6k

"Move away" you whispered once your boss got out of the elevator. Noticing that Yoongi had no intention of moving from your side, you nudged him with your elbow.

"What's your problem?" he turned to look at you, rubbing his arm awkwardly. He didn't understand why you had just hit him so hard.

"What's your problem?" you said while stressing the "your", looking at Yoongi with a frown, "You have the whole elevator to stand on to wait for your floor, why are you sticking to my side?" you snorted, crossing your arms over your chest and trying to count to 10 so you wouldn't throw yourself on top of him and pull at his hair until you pulled out a large lock.  

"There were more people here, I had no choice" he rolled his eyes, setting his briefcase on the floor and shaking out his hair. He was aware that next to you there were always fights, but he figured that, if your boss gave this project to both of them, you would be considerably less. 

"There's the rub, Min, there were people here, there aren't any more, they left, so keep your distance," you looked at the red number above the door indicating which floor they were on. Only three more and they would finally arrive at Yoongi's office. You didn't know why it had to be his, but you preferred it that way, yours was a total mess.

"You are so annoying."

"Look who's talking" you pulled out your cell phone, not wanting to put up with Yoongi anymore. You checked your messages and calls, everything was empty, except for a message from your granny asking you not to skip any meals.

"What? Your boyfriend didn't text you "good luck at your job" this morning?" whispered Yoongi teasingly, looking at your cell phone out of the corner of his eye. He lightly squeezed his briefcase when he saw the name you had for your boyfriend.

"We broke up a few weeks ago" you stowed your cell phone in the back pocket of your pants, your gaze fixed on the elevator door. "Apparently his parents didn't like the idea of someone like me dating him."

"And he dumped you because of that?" he frowned slightly, staring at your profile. You looked more depressed than usual, but he was sure it was due to work stress, not some jerk you had to put up with for almost a year and a half, "How stupid, I can tell you have bad taste in everything."

"Excuse me?" you turned your head in his direction, frowning as you saw him flash you that cocky grin he gave you every time he wanted to annoy you

"Honey, that wouldn't happen to you if you had a more critical eye and dated real men."

"And what's a real man to you?" you raised your eyebrows, knowing he'd say something stupid that you'd then hang on to make his life miserable. That's how you've spent the last thirteen years living it.

"A real man wouldn't leave you waiting for his message for hours, he would remember that your birthday is November twenty-fifth, he would know that you love desserts and hate too bitter food, he would be aware that you love the color red and hate the color gray because it depresses you" with every word he gave he would get one step closer to you, and, with every step he took towards you, you backed away, "if he were a real man, he wouldn't give a shit what his parents said because he would love you enough to leave them and fight for you, because he would know that he would be worth it just to have a life by your side," you bumped into the elevator wall, shrinking in place the moment Yoongi rested his forearm on the side of your face. "Tell me, Chaeyoung, was he able to do any of all that?".

"Why did you get so close?" you swallowed saliva, staring into Yoongi's eyes. For some reason, you felt like you were incapable of looking at anything other than them. 

"Why are you avoiding my question?" he whispered in front of your face, close enough to almost brush your noses.

"I'm not-" the sound of the elevator doors opening threw you completely out of focus. You pushed Yoongi away and quickly stepped out, fixing your hair awkwardly, "Let's go to your office, I'm tired, I want to finish this quickly."

"Fine" he sighed in response, stepping out of the elevator and walking to his office. "Did you bring the papers?".

"Yes" you mumbled, walking behind him. Your gaze was fixed on his back, and you couldn't help but think about how he knew so many things about you. Yes, you had known each other for thirteen years, but you only spoke to each other to argue, there literally wasn't a conversation where one of you hadn't raised your voice to the other. 

"Okay, let's get this over with as soon as possible," he said as he opened the door to his office, waiting for you to enter.

You stared at your laptop screen for a few seconds, trying to clear your head without letting sleep take over. You had been working for more than ten hours, your head was starting to hurt and your stomach was twisting because of the hunger you felt. There were only a few details left to finish, so you thought it might be a good idea to take a coffee break.

You looked at Yoongi, who seemed to be too focused on reading the papers you had brought earlier to pay any attention to you. You brought your thumbnail to your mouth, biting it lightly. Would it be okay for you to go get a cup of coffee when he's still working on the project? 

"Stop biting your nail" he muttered with his eyes still fixed on the papers.

You rolled your eyes, getting up from the red velvet chair in his office and walking to the door. 

"Where are you going?" Yoongi's view rises just enough to see your back stop in front of the glass door that separated his office from the hallway.

"Do you mind?" you turn to see him, raising your eyebrows. The situation earlier had made you completely forget that the idiot standing in front of you was Min fucking Yoongi, the same one who made your life miserable in school, the same one who chose the same career as you, and the same one who had gotten a job at the same fucking company.

"Yes, I need to know where you're going because this is a job that belongs to both of us," he rose from his chair, both hands resting on his impeccably neat and clean desk. You hated that he kept everything in order, it reminded you of how disorganized you were in your daily life. "I'm not doing your part for free."

"And I don't need you to do it" you snorted, approaching him firmly. You were sick of his shitty behavior. "I will come back here and finish that fucking report without your help, do you understand?".

Yoongi was silent for a few seconds, rounding his desk and standing in front of you, "You're always so rude, shouldn't you watch your vocabulary at work?".

Your legs trembled slightly at having him stand in front of you, but you did your best to keep him from noticing. You took a couple more steps toward him, wanting him to feel just as intimidated as you had felt in the elevator. Your stomach did a flip as you remembered how close he had been to you.

"We're off the clock, so I don't have the need to mind my vocabulary" you whispered, keeping your gaze locked on Yoongi's. You weren't sure what you wanted to gain from this, but what you wanted to gain, you wanted. 

"Being off the clock allows you to treat your coworkers like this?" you noticed how his eyes lowered to stop on your lips.

You tried to ignore that, but it was tricky when you were so close to him, when you could smell his perfume, feel his breath crash against yours. You seriously tried to be strong and control your biological urges, but he wasn't helping.

"Shut the fuck up" you pressed your index finger into his chest with the intention of pushing him back. To your surprise, the instant your finger touched his chest, his hand grabbed your wrist hard enough to stop you without hurting you. 

"I was hoping you'd say that," he gave you the sexiest shit-eating grin you could have ever seen in your life, only to, seconds later, tug on your arm and kiss you.

You weren't sure what surprised you more, the fact that he kissed you, or the fact that you kissed him back almost instantly, clinging to his neck with your arms while he did the same with your waist. You'd like to say that you never imagined this would happen, that you never subconsciously (and consciously) dreamed about how Yoongi's lips would feel on yours, but if you said that you'd be lying to yourself, because, shit, the amount of times you'd dreamed about something like this were too many.

If your mouth wasn't too busy sucking on Yoongi's bottom lip, you'd probably ask him if the same thing had happened to him and that's why he was now kissing you like his life depended on it. It's not like you were going to complain anyway.

Yoongi's hands were quick to unbutton your shirt as his tongue enjoyed exploring and licking every corner of your mouth it could reach. You decided to focus on stroking and pulling his hair until he moaned from the burning in his head. You could become addicted to the hoarse sound of his moans.

"Shit, did you wear a lace bra to come to work?" he whispered against your lips, focusing his gaze on your breasts wrapped in red lace fabric. In fact, it was your favorite outfit.

"It's just that it was the only clean one" you followed his gaze, looking at your breasts, "my dryer went bad and it's difficult to get them dry in the middle of winter".

"Bless your dryer" he began to form a path of kisses starting at your jaw and ending at your shoulder. Your shirt by this point was already lying somewhere in the room, and it really wasn't something you cared too much about. 

You tilted your head to the side, closing your eyes and enjoying the sensations of Yoongi's wet kisses against your skin. His veiny hands soon stopped on your tits, giving gentle squeezes on the fabric. You shivered as you felt his cool fingers on your barely covered nipples.

"Is your mouth as good at sucking cock as it is at insulting me?" he whispered close to your ear, caressing the curve of your ass with one hand and your breasts with the other. 

"Just so you know, I'm pretty good at giving blowjobs" you said between gasps, pulling on his hair as you felt his teeth bury themselves on your skin.

A shiver ran down your back as you heard the sound of his belt clacking against the floor. 

"Don't say it, show it" he unzipped his pants, but without removing them completely. He slipped a hand inside his boxers so he could pull out his cock. You almost gagged at the sight of it.

You didn't expect it to be so big.

"What's that face?" he cocked his head slightly, trying to meet your gaze.

"It's the same face you've always seen" you muttered, grabbing your hair and forming a bun with your hands. It was bigger than you were used to, but that wasn't going to stop you from doing a good job. This was more for your pride than to satisfy him.

Yoongi never imagined he would end up having you kneeling in front of him, grabbing your hair so it wouldn't stick to your face, touching his cock with your fingertips, seeing it as if it was the first time you'd ever seen one. Yes, that sight was something Yoongi had only allowed himself to imagine since he first saw you, but to make that vision a reality thirteen years later? He wasn't sure what he had done to have this luck, but he was truly grateful.

"Well, at least now I understand why you were throwing so many flowers at yourself" you whispered, licking his cleft with the tip of your tongue. "Your cock is nice" you looked at Yoongi, running your hand up the length of his member, stopping at his head to draw circles over his cleft.

He wasn't sure what kind of response you wanted to those comments, he wouldn't have been able to respond to them anyway, at least not in this position. 

You left a trail of kisses from the head to the base of his cock only to return upward with a long lick. You smiled proudly as you heard him sigh heavily. It was only until you reached the tip of his member again that you decided to take him into your mouth.

Yoongi almost choked as he noticed that you got it all the way in in one go.

"Shit, Chaeyoung" he moaned, reaching down his hand to grab your hair between his fingers.

You hummed still with him inside your mouth, eliciting another hoarse moan from him. 

You tried to keep a slow pace, not because you couldn't do it faster, but because you seriously thought that's what he wanted. To you Yoongi was always a lazy person, someone who always seemed to move slow, so it made the most sense that he would be that way in sex too.

You knew you were wrong when his grip on your hair became firmer, leaving your head static as he took it upon himself to grind his hips against your mouth. 

"Fuck, you were right, your mouth feels so good," he said huskily, letting his head fall back, his hips grinding faster and harder against your face.

By this point it was impossible for your eyes not to release a tear or two and a trickle of saliva to escape your lips. This man was a brute, you thought to yourself. Somehow that turned you on even more.

Yoongi's brow furrowed as he felt your throat quiver at your soft moans. This felt so much better than any wet dream he'd had in the past with you. He couldn't help but look down to see how you looked sucking his cock. If he had had a camera handy he would have taken a picture of you. This was the first time he had ever seen you cry, and while it's likely that in another context he would have even felt sorry for you, right now all he could think about was how badly he wanted to ravage you like this every chance he got.

You raised your hands, clinging to Yoongi's hips as you closed your eyes and tried not to think about how deep he was thrusting into your mouth. You had to bury your fingernails in his pants when he thrust too hard. You would have a terrible pain in your jaw after that.

After giving you that lunge he let go of your hair and pulled his cock out of your mouth, allowing you to breathe easy. You brought your hand to your throat, rubbing it gently, it hurt a little, but it was totally worth it. 

"Come here" Yoongi said, lifting you up easily and leaning you against the desk. He caressed your still clothed hips, pausing for a few seconds to contemplate your back, the shape of your body, the line of your lingerie. He wanted to taste every nook and cranny. He was determined to taste every little bit of skin in front of him, even if it took weeks. "I like your back" he whispered, bringing his hand up to touch your lower back.

"Thank you" you murmured, turning your head so you could see him, "now would you, I don't know, shut your fucking mouth and do something with me? You owe me."

"You always ruin the moment" he rolled his eyes, unbuttoning your pants and pulling them down. He couldn't help but take your buttocks in his hands, squeezing them lightly. They looked good with the red lace over them. For a second he thought maybe red would be his new favorite color.

His fingers dug in between the lace, seeking your entrance. He almost moaned as he felt how wet you were. He always thought you'd be someone sensitive in bed, but he never thought you'd get like this just from giving him a blowjob.

"You're so wet" he whispered, collecting your juices with his fingers and slipping it back into your pussy. He smiled as he heard you squeal. "And so sensitive, are you sure you can handle my cock?".

He didn't wait for an answer from you, he simply placed the head of his member over your entrance, moving it up and down, barely opening your pussy, all with the intention of teasing you. 

You moaned helplessly as you noticed he had no intention of fucking you. To your luck that was quickly fixed. You held onto the table and, just as his cock brushed your entrance, you pushed your hips back. You had to bury your fingernails in your palms to keep from letting out a scream. You were aware that his cock wasn't even halfway in yet, but it still felt so big.

"Shit, you seriously are a desperate bitch" he growled under his breath, resting his hand on your lower back. He was already inside, what else could he do but fuck you?

 You screamed as Yoongi pushed his entire member inside you, causing your hips to crash against the desk and one of your heels to fall to the floor. Just as he did when you gave him the blowjob, Yoongi didn't go with games. He rested his chest against your back, hugging your waist so he could give himself momentum and make his lunges harder and deeper.

"Yoongi" you gasped, resting your forehead against the wood of his desk. This man had no mercy, and you were beginning to wonder if he was trying to get even for all the bad times you put him through in the past. 

He just hid his face in your neck, leaving wet kisses down your bare skin. His cock stirred slightly inside you as he heard his name leave your lips. He had waited for this moment for so many years.  

As if that were possible, his onslaught grew faster, hitting all the right spots to make you gasp and moan uncontrollably. Your whole body trembled as his cock hit your G-spot with too much force. This time you couldn't hold back the scream that wanted to escape your lips.  

"What was that?" he said in a mocking voice, hitting the same spot again, this time harder. He didn't expect you to tighten around him as he did so. "God, you're so tight, so wet."  

You let your weight fall onto the desk, closing your eyes and keeping your mouth open so you could moan freely. Little tears were leaking from your eyes from the intense pleasure you were feeling. Yoongi made you feel so full, he knew so well where to touch, at what pace to go. You loved how fast he learned to read you.  

"Stop pounding there" you said between moans, trying to keep the knot in your belly from loosening, not so soon at least. "I don't want to come yet."  

Yoongi left a mark near your shoulder, pushing your hair aside to get a better look at it. It felt so good to finally mark you as his. "It’s okay, babe, do it, we have plenty of time to indulge in a long sex session."  

The idea that the two of you would repeat tonight made you quite excited, much more excited than you'd like to say out loud. To your bad luck, your brain didn't seem to want to grasp that idea, leaving your body to show how much you had liked the idea, letting the knot in your center untie and you came on Yoongi's cock with a loud moan. 

Yoongi almost lost his mind watching you decompensate under him, but he was still aware enough of the situation to cum inside you. He quickly pulled out of your pussy, masturbating at the same pace he had kept while he had been fucking you, letting his release fall onto your back, sending shivers down your spine.   

You took a moment to regulate your breathing before you turned to look at Yoongi, "There better not be cum in my hair."  

"Stop whining" he whispered, bending down to your face level and leaving a soft kiss on your lips. "Better get up and get dressed, let's take the stuff to my place and finish the job there, so you can take the opportunity to clean your back well." He fixed his pants and grabbed your clothes from the floor, "In the drawer there are some tissues, give me one, I'll clean your back."  

"Ugh, it feels strange that you treat me decently" you laughed under your breath, fixing your underwear as you took the tissues he asked for.  

"You should get used to it" he pulled one out, gently running it down your back, trying not to get any trace of his seed on you.  

"I will" you smiled, closing your eyes at Yoongi's touch on your back, and almost melted as you felt his lips kiss your head.  

Yes, you were definitely willing to get used to this.

Materlist.

[wcbblife]

Steps and Swishes

a/n: promise the next part will probably have more of the professional dancing lol

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: none!

***

In moments like these, you can't help but appreciate your body's resilience, its unwavering stamina that carries you through the literal marathon of your day. But as you navigate this relentless sprint, you find yourself hoping there's still some fuel left in your tank when you reach the audition.

Waking up late was never part of the plan, especially not on a day when a crucial audition awaits. "Crap!" you mutter under your breath as you hastily exit your dorm room, clutching a piece of bread in one hand and your phone in the other. Each step is a stride toward salvaging what's left of your punctuality.

For the most part, things seem to be going smoothly as you dash towards the building. Until it’s not.

You wrench open the glass door of the lobby and dash into the elevator, heart pounding with each passing floor. Finally, as the doors slide open, you burst forth into a labyrinth of corridors, your destination painfully close. Or so you think.

Just when you believe the worst is behind you, you turn a corner and collide with an unexpected obstacle: a cascade of blonde hair and scalding coffee.

“Fuck!” The word rips from your lips as you stagger backward, the searing liquid seeping through your clothes. With trembling hands, you peel the wet fabric from your skin, eyes fixed on the ruinous stain spreading across your once pristine white shirt.

“Holy shit,” the figure mumbles, “I didn't mean that at all. Are you ok?”

A hand reaches out hesitantly towards your shirt, then freezes awkwardly in mid-air. It's the final straw.

Your gaze shoots up to meet the woman in front of you, ready to unleash a torrent of curses, but all words die on your tongue as you're confronted with wide, concerned eyes. Eyes that you know all too well, belonging to none other than Paige Bueckers.

Going to the same school as Paige Bueckers had never really stood out to you until today.

"I'm so sorry," Paige says, glancing down at your shirt, her hand still suspended awkwardly between you. Silence hangs heavy in the air. "I… I'll buy you a new one, I swear. Let me make it up to you."

In that moment, you realize that even if she were to buy you ten or twenty shirts, it wouldn't change the fact that you're about to miss your audition if you don't hurry. The inconvenience of the situation dawns on you in full force.

You let out an exasperated sigh, your gaze flicking from your stained shirt to Paige and back again. Then, once more, your eyes travel from her to your shirt. You can't help but notice how effortlessly chic and pristine her shirt appears compared to your own.

“Take off your shirt,” you deadpan without much consideration.

Paige's eyes widen further, resembling a deer caught in headlights. “W-what?” she stammers, inching away slowly.

You, however, couldn't care less if she looked at you as crazy. “You said you wanted to make it up to me?” you ask, raising an eyebrow before gesturing towards the bathroom behind her. “I have an audition in five minutes, and unless I want to blow my shot, I need to look presentable.”

The blonde hesitates, her gaze shifting between your outstretched fingers and the bathroom door. Then, with a slow turn of her head, you can almost hear the gears in her mind grinding to a halt. “And how does me taking off my shirt help you?”

“Just get in there and swap shirts with me,” you grumble, shooting her a soft glare. “It'll be quick. Once I'm done, you can have it back. Deal?” You silently pray she doesn't call the cops given how stupid and crazy you must sound, but the desperation in your eyes seems to sway her as she hesitantly nods.

“Alright, fine.” she sighs, walking towards the bathroom.

***

For the most part, the audition went relatively smoothly. Well, except for the fact that you received a barrage of odd looks for bursting in looking disheveled, with the invasive aroma of coffee clinging to you like a second skin. You could swear they caught whiffs of it every time you executed a dance move. But on the bright side, Paige's shirt did align nicely with the hip-hop theme they wanted, so hooray for small victories, you suppose.

Exiting the room, your shoulders sag immediately. Scanning the area for a familiar blonde, you finally spot Paige and make your way over, tapping her shoulder gently.

Startled, she quickly turns off her phone, giving you her full attention. “How'd it go?”

You shrug, not feeling up to sugarcoating it. “It was alright, I guess.”

Paige's expression deflates. “Gosh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to mess up your audition.”

“Nah, don't worry about it,” you try to brush it off, though your voice betrays a hint of frustration. “If I hadn't been such a klutz and actually woke up on time, I wouldn't have been in such a rush, and none of this would've happened.”

A brief silence lingers between you two before Paige breaks it. “Hey, let's make a deal,” she proposes, suddenly piquing your interest. “You can hang onto the shirt for now. I'll take this one,” she taps the stained area with her palm, “wash it, and give it back to you later.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Really? I'm totally fine with changing again. Why would you even let me take your shirt home—”

“Just…” she interrupts, sounding almost exasperated, “It's just a way for you to trust that I won't flake out and keep your shirt or something,” she mumbles, scratching the back of her neck nervously. “If you have my shirt, the only way I could get it back is by washing yours and swapping. I know it sounds silly.”

You chuckle. “Maybe just a little.”

Paige smiles, briefly averting her gaze before meeting your eyes again. “Just… let me clean it. I already feel bad enough.”

With a resigned sigh, you give in to her plea. “Fine, give me your number.”

Paige retrieves her phone with surprising speed, a wide grin spreading across her face. She clears her throat, opening her phone and displaying the number pad. “Are you usually around campus? You look like a student.”

After entering your number, you call yourself and retrieve your own phone as it starts to ring. “Yeah… I'm just looking for a part-time gig for now. Nothing too demanding.”

The blonde's interest is piqued. “So, what was the audition for?”

“Just some dancing,” you murmur, half-expecting her to burst into laughter like some others might. But instead, her reaction is one of genuine shock.

“That's awesome! KK would love you,” Paige jokes, and you audibly release a deep breath, grateful that there's no mockery in sight.

“I'm… flattered. Though I'm afraid she might work me to the bone with TikTok dances.”

Paige erupts into laughter, bending over in amusement before regaining her composure. “She might, but she means no harm, I promise,” she says, her expression turning more earnest. “You might have to swing by and show us some moves.”

“Hmm, I might just have to do that,” you reply with a smile.

Paige rubs her hands together awkwardly. “Well, I'll let you go. I don't want to hold you back any longer. I'll definitely text you.”

You nod, “I'll look forward to a white shirt”

She smiles before excusing herself. As you go about your way, you can't help but glance back, only to find the blonde has beaten you to it, snapping her eyes away from you in an instant.

***

The next morning breezes by in a blur. You manage your early classes and decide to take the afternoon off, indulging in a leisurely lounge session that rivals the pace of a sloth. Despite knowing you should probably get moving, the mere thought of tackling errands or practicing feels like an insurmountable task.

You flop onto your back on the carpeted floor, idly gazing at the ceiling until the tranquil silence is abruptly shattered by the muffled buzzing of your phone. With a lazy stretch, you reach for your phone, glancing at the notification.

One text message.

Sitting up, you unlock your phone.

‘Hey! It's Paige. You know, the girl who spilled coffee on you? Yeah, you probably remember that. Anyway… I cleaned your shirt, and I promise it's good as new. Do you want me to swing by your place or are you cool with coming over here?’

Your fingers move instinctively, typing a response before you even fully process it. After all, if THE Paige Bueckers was extending an invitation to her place, who were you to refuse?

‘I don't mind coming over there.’

Three bubbles appear in the corner of the screen.

‘Great! My room is 12C. Just drop by whenever you want.’

‘Alright, I'll be over in a few minutes.’

‘Perfect, I'll be waiting for you.’

You toss your phone aside, feeling an unexpected surge of energy coursing through you. Where it comes from, you're not entirely sure, but you're certainly not going to question it. Not when it propels you onto your feet in a heartbeat.

Without pausing to overthink, you head for a quick shower, ensuring you look somewhat presentable before getting dressed. There's a pitifully evident spring in your step as you make your way to her room, clutching her freshly washed shirt against your body.

However, all semblance of confidence evaporates upon coming face to face with the blue door, 12C stamped at the top. One. Two. Three seconds pass, and you find yourself rooted in place, your arm trembling slightly before dropping back down.

“Shit…” you mutter, suddenly feeling more self-conscious. But you gather your resolve and decide to just go for it.

Almost instantly, you hear shuffling from behind the door, accompanied by distant thuds before it creaks open. Two brown eyes peer out, catching you off guard. You barely have time to process before she gasps, almost comically.

“Oh my god, you're the coffee girl, aren't you?” The girl, whom you now recognize as KK, swings the door open wider, smiling like a child.

“Um… yeah, that's me,” you reply, scratching the back of your neck and holding up Paige's shirt. “I'm just here for a simple exchange.”

“Girl, come on in,” KK drawls, gesturing for you to enter. “She's down the hall to the left.”

“Thanks,” you chuckle.

It's pretty wild how much they're trusting you, but at this point, does it even matter?

You make your way down to what you presume is Paige’s room, rapping lightly on the door.

Paige answers swiftly, her attention seemingly elsewhere. “Kk, I swear to go—” Her gaze lands on you, and her eyes widen abruptly, words faltering. “Oh, my bad. Thought you were that airhead.”

“Hey!” Kk's voice rings out from the other side of the dorm, prompting a giggle from you.

“Come in, come in. I didn’t realize you were here already,” Paige says, opening her door fully. She strides over to her bed, where a neatly folded white shirt rests on top.

“I like your cologne,” you blurt out before even thinking, immediately regretting your lack of filter. You scramble for an excuse as Paige turns to you, her expression unreadable. “I-I mean, your shirt… I'm assuming it was your cologne. It smelled nice.”

She smiles. “Really? I’m trying something new. Must've smelled better than the coffee, huh?”

You step closer to her, the distance between you diminishing. “Anything would be better than that, to be honest. Imagine dancing while drenched in coffee.”

Paige winces, stepping nearer to you. She extends your shirt towards you. “Yeah, sorry about that again. But don't worry, I made sure it was all gone.”

Taking a moment to really take her in, you absorb every detail you may have missed in your earlier rushed encounter. The way her eyes sparkle, the curve of her smile, the subtle flex of her arms. It's almost overwhelming for your heart to handle.

“Here. I washed yours too.”

“Aww, you didn't have to,” she reply with a cheeky grin. “Now I owe you again.”

“I'm always up for some food,” you shrug, though you don't really mean it. “A broke college student will take what they can get.”

“Deal,” Paige says, her tone shifting slightly more serious. “We could even go now if you want.”

“Wow, didn't expect you to actually say yes. I mean, aren't you like… a celebrity or something around here?” you comment, feeling a mix of surprise and flattery.

Paige shrugs, a smirk playing on her lips. “What, are you worried they'll mistake us for a couple or something?”

“W-what? No…” you stutter, feeling your cheeks flush at the mere suggestion.

“I'm just messing,” she says, turning her head expectantly, her gaze soft yet playful.

It seems to effortlessly dismantle whatever defenses you had put up. “Fine,” you relent, smiling as Paige's face instantly lights up.

“Sweet. Hold on, let me grab my stuff,” she says, brushing past you, leaving you standing awkwardly in the middle of her room. You shift on the balls of your feet until…

“Psst!” Your head snaps towards the doorway as KK looks positively gleeful, biting her finger to stifle a laugh. “You're still gonna dance with me, right? Don't go flaking out.”

“Of course I am. And I’m going to beat you with all those TikTok dances,” you retort, a playful spark between the two of you.

KK gasps dramatically, clutching her shirt. “As if!”

“Alright, KK,” Paige interjects, returning from wherever she went, patting KK on the shoulder with a tad too much strength, causing the smaller guard to wince. “That’s enough.”

You catch the shift in Paige's tone, and she shrugs softly once she notices your gaze on her. “Let’s go?”

You nod and follow closely behind, but not before whispering a quick, “It's still on,” to KK, chuckling as her mouth hangs open in silent protest.

[mewhenimanangel]

the babysitter ʚɞ

pairing: miguel o’hara x reader

synopsis: miguel offered you a job babysitting his daughter, gabrielle. his marriage is going through a rough time and you’re someone he can confide in

wc: 2.2k

warnings!: alcohol, age gap, infidelity, loss of virginity, piv sex, oral sex (f receiving), cowgirl

nia’s ౨ৎ notes: i lovee dilfs so bad

"y/n can you make me ramen, please. i loveeeee the way you make it" gabby came downstairs to ask you. currently, you were lolling around on the couch in the living room watching tv on the big screen. you were babysitting gabrielle o'hara, your neighbors' daughter. you started the job when your mom invited them over for dinner and her dad asked if you were available to watch her for a while, you weren't that busy so you said yes and after that they decided to officially hire you.

her parents were out at the moment, miguel at work. "yeah sure" you smiled, pausing your show and getting up to the kitchen while gabby sat on the couch with her tablet. you reached in the pantry for a pack of noodles, grabbing hot sauce, green onions, and extra seasonings on your way. you waited for the ramen to boil then began adding everything.

"hey you guys okay?" you heard a voice coming from the front room. miguel threw his his keys on the counter and took his shoes off at the door. "daddy!" gabby exclaimed running up to give her dad a hug. "ahh mi cielito, what are you still doing up?" he asked giving her a kiss on the cheek and picking her up into his arms. "oh that's my fault actually she asked to stay up a little longer and she's too cute i couldn't say no" you giggled. he nod his head and smiled before gabby yawned "you ask to stay up and you can't even thug it out?" he laughed. "why don't you go upstairs and brush your teeth and go to bed huh?" he told her.

"okay daddy" she grumbled running up the stairs to go to bed. you'd completely forgot about the noodles you just made "wait i actually just made her some noodles.." you pointed to the kitchen. "oh well, i'm starving" he smiled moving towards the kitchen.

you put some noodles in a bowl for each of you before you sat next to him at the kitchen island. "so how's school going" he asked you, taking a bite. you were a sophomore in university, studying for your degree. "good, it's a little tough but i can manage" you answered him. "you're a good kid, you'll do great i'm sure of it" he smiled. "hope gab wasn't too much trouble today" "no no she was great, she's so adorable i love her." you giggled. "yeah, think she misses her mom" he sighed.

"oh, where is she anyway?" you asked him, as nosy as ever. "she's on some business trip" he answered, mockery laced in his tone. "but between you and me, i think she's seeing someone behind my back." he rolled his eyes. "oh i'm so sorry." you looked at him with a sympathetic expression. "ah it's alright, things've been kind of rocky lately anyway"

he moved his leg ever so slightly, the fabric of his jeans rubbing up against your knee. and he didn't move it, you two sat like that just talking for the next twenty minutes until you checked the time and figured you should head home. "have a good night and thank you as always" he smiled, handing you $200 and sent you on your way.

ʚɞ

you were curled up on the couch, stressing about an assignment you had to finish by the end of the night. "hey." miguel greeted, resting his hands on the chair behind you, leaning over. "oh, hi mr o'hara. i didn't hear you come in, gabby's in bed by the way i'm just trying to finish up this assignment without destroying this laptop." you sighed. he snorted a little at your frustration. "rough day?" he asked you. "yeah, kinda"

"why don't you take a break for a little? have a drink?" he offered, moving to his wine cooler to grab a bottle of champagne and two glasses. "i've had a bit of a rough day too." you weren't one for drinking - you couldn't even do it legally yet, still a year away from that. but you were stressed and you figured a load off couldn't hurt so you got up and went over to join him at the island.

he moved the glass in front of you before finding his seat next to you. "so what were you working on that's got you so tense" he asked taking a sip from his glass. "just some stupid shit from my business class, what about you? why'd you have such a bad day?" you answered. "well, turns out bella has been seeing someone. from work, buddy of mine told me" he sighed.

"oh i'm sorry mr o'hara" you put your hand out on his  arm, face expressing your sorry. "really it's fine" he brushed off "just don't know how she could break us up like that, especially for gabby. probecita bebé" you frowned, feeling bad for him. i mean who could ever cheat on him. he was smart, kind, and really handsome. you studied his features looking at his messy brown hair, the way his 5 o'clock shadow graced his chiseled jaw, his milky brown eyes under his surprisingly long lashes. you looked at the way his t shirt clung to his biceps and the way his jeans rode low on his waist.

"what?" he chuckled at the way your stare lingered on him. "n-nothing" you nervously laughed, downing your glass of champagne. "thanks a lot for all you do for gabby, she loves you a lot. always talking about you and it's never one bad thing" he smiled at you. "think she's gonna need us a little more now with what's coming." "what do you mean?" you quirked an eyebrow. "well m'gonna file for divorce, which'll be hard on her" he poured more champagne into your glasses.

the two of you talked for a bit before you told a joke which got him laughing. he rest his hand on your thigh, the other hitting the table. when the joke was over he didn't take his hand off, he instead inched it higher up your leg. you looked at his hand before looking back up into his lustful gaze. you weren't gonna lie and say you didn't want him but he was a little more than twice your age, he had a kid for god's sake. but your wine clouded your judgement and you allowed him to lean in, attaching his lips to yours.

when you were moving an arm up around his neck your elbow bumped your wine glass off the counter, smashing on the ground. you gasped "i'm so sorry" "don't worry about it" he chuckled kissing you again. this time your hands entangled through his hair deepening the kiss. he picked you up, put his hands under your ass cheeks, kneading his fingers into it as your legs wrapped around his waist.

he moved to the stairs before you broke away "wait mr o'hara what about bella?" you breathed out. he scoffed "please she's not a problem anymore and please miguel is fine" he latched his lips back on yours. you broke away again "what about gabby?" "you said she's asleep right? just gonna have to keep it down" he smirked before kissing you again.

you got to his bedroom and he threw you on top of his comforters, crawling his way on top of you. you held onto his strong shoulders as he pressed kisses down your jaw and neck, sucking on your soft skin. you let out a few groans in his ear before pressing your hands against his chest. "um i-i've never done this before with anyone" you admitted.

he took a moment to look at you before taking your hand into his. "that's okay, i'll take care of you. you do still want to right?" he asked rubbing a thumb over your knuckles. you bit your lips and nod your head "m'gonna need an audible response princess" "yes, i still want you to fuck me"

that was all he needed to hear before he was back on your lips. he pulled you in his lap reached for the bottom of your shirt and tugged it over your head, rising your body to help him. he rubbed his hands up and down your waist before reaching to take your bra off. you moved your arm to cover your breasts "no need to cover up. god you're gorgeous" he whispered pressing a finger to your nipple rubbing in circles over it before pinching it between his fingers. you let out a small moan watching him as he looked up at you with a teasing smile. "so sensitive" he lapped his tongue around your nipple sucking and pulling on it while he played with the other one.

your moans began to fill the room "you're already a mess and i've barely even touched you" he teased, lightly biting your nipple. he moved you off him laying you back onto the pillows. he hooked a finger into the waistband of your sweatpants tugging them off you. he looked at the pool of moisture that stained your pretty pink panties "god baby you're soaking" he chuckled, pulling those off you too. you looked away biting your lip in embarrassment "look at me princess" he pulled your chin back to face him. he got on all fours lifting your leg over his shoulder, pressing kisses down it until he got to your entrance.

he pressed his thumb against your clit causing your body to jump in response. he licked at your entrance while continuing to rub his finger over your clit. he sucked and licked at your pussy like it was his first meal in weeks. a moan ripped out of you before you slapped a hand to your face. he squeezed a hand around each of your thighs, them caving him in as he continued to work on making you cum. your hand shot down to his head, taking a handful of his hair in your grip.

"fuck miguel, i think i'm gonna cum" you moaned out, eyes rolling to the back of your head. "go ahead princess, cum all over my tongue" he spoke against your cunt, the vibrations sending you crazy, his facial hair tickling against you. you reached your climax and miguel lapped it up, taking every last drop in his mouth.

he wrapped you back up in his arms shoving his tongue in your mouth. "it's not fair that i'm naked and you've still got all your clothes on" you frowned reaching for the hem of his shirt. he chuckled, helping you out with the shirt before taking off his jeans and dropping them to the floor. he opened his nightstand and reached for a condom "why don’t you ride me baby, you wanna take some control for your first time?" he asked, pulling his dick out of his boxers. you gulped looking at his length, how was that supposed to fit inside you.

"uh huh" you mumbled. he laid back on the bed, taking your hand and guiding you on top of him. you straddled him before he grabbed his dick and lined himself up with your entrance. “i’ll be gentle princess” he said, moving your hair out of your face. you eased down onto his dick, his inches splitting you apart. “fuck oh my god” you whined. you rode up and down his length leaning forward to place your hands on his chest. he wrapped his hands around your waist holding you and helping you create your pace.

the lewd sounds of your skin slapping together and both of your moans and whimpers filled the room. his dick slipped out before you grabbed it again and put it back inside you. you sunk further down on it, hitting right on your g spot. you threw your head back, a pornographic moan coming from you. “fuck you sound heavenly, feel it too” miguel groaned. “m-miguel i’m gonna cum” you whined biting your lip. “go ahead baby, cum all on this dick” he whimpered. and so you did.

he leaned up to grab you and flipped you over so you were laying on the bed with him on top. he threw your legs over his shoulder so he could really drive into your cunt. he rest his hand on the headboard, leaning down to kiss you, now sloppy and rushed. “fuck, you are tight” he moaned. soon he reached his climax as well, throwing his head back, his pace slowing down.

he got up and threw the condom away, grabbing a rag with warm water on his way back. he cleaned you off and got you a pair of fresh underwear. he cleaned himself off too putting his boxers on before climbing into the bed with you. he put an arm out indicating he wanted you to lay in it, so you did and you rest your head on his chest. “so did i do a good job pleasing you for your first time” he asked, grabbing your hand to hold. you looked up at him and nodded your head “yes, i loved it” you smiled.

he traced things along your bare back until he heard your soft snores and felt your light breathing on his chest. he smiled to himself before he too fell asleep with you wrapped up in his arms.

[hotchfiles]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ❝ lay down with me ❞ ─ a darling, in any life blurb

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader. summary: the red thread between two people destined to be together may stretch and tangle, but those ties will never break. or: they find out maybe bars aren't all the same. content warnings: alcohol, suggestive talk. not proof read. word count: 2.1k

"Were you... Brushing your teeth?" Yeah he was. And yeah they were still on the jet, but as soon as they got back to HQ he would be on his car for the 45min ride to Arlington to see you. He couldn't risk bad breath on your first date.

Before Aaron could even answer Emily's inconvenient question, Derek came in with another one "Hair freshly cut too, anyone noticed it?" Well he cut his own hair, it would be simply rude not to look his best when he so easily could.

He knew JJ was coming in with something too when she passed by him, so he had to cut it out before "Hey, enough. I’m meeting an old friend after work, just trying to use my time wisely here." His eyes scanned the room for the reactions and even though no one replied, he could see all the little smirking around and whispering between Emily and Derek mostly.

So much for a private life.

He's not the hiding type, if he's in a relationship he has no problem letting people know it, as long as that is it, he enjoys keeping the details to himself. And right now that's all he can really say about you, you're an old friend, just an old friend.

For now.

He was running late now, and very stressed about it. Of course it wasn't the greatest of ideas to go from Quantico to Arlington by driving instead of taking the train, but he wanted to have the choice to take you somewhere else if you wanted to and to get you home safe when the date ended. He was also aware that trains didn't run as late as he might be staying.

He planned the haircut, the hotel shower right before leaving, brushing his teeth while in the jet, having his car ready, but God, did he not plan for the traffic he would have to deal with after 6PM.

But he's a gentleman, so he calls from the car system to warn you about it and he's nervous and anxious because not being present enough and being late or not there at all ruined his marriage and he wants to do better, he really really wants to.

"Oh don't worry babe, I’m still enjoying my wine in my living room. Thought it would be better to wait 'til you were in town to leave, yeah?" Aaron hopes the loud sigh of relief he let out isn't so obvious to you, but it is. You find it endearing. You were reading essays still just minutes ago, you understood him.

You weren't very sure how well would you two work considering that. But you sure as hell wasn't going to give up without at least trying it. And definitely not without a fight.

"Send me your location then, I'll pick you up in... Twenty."

"Uuuh, picking me up? Look at us, it's a real date date now, curfew's at 10PM then, don't forget it." You make him laugh easily with that, your father was a strict man, sometimes you both went to the movies or the park nearby and if you got home at 10:03 was enough for him to sit Aaron down in your living room and tell him all about responsibilities and how he was the boy and so he was supposed to protect you and ensure you were home in time.

"I am curious about what the consequences of not following the curfew will be this time though." Oh he's teasing you now, as if this wasn't your first date and the implications of consequences weren't so... Suggestive, to say the least. But he feels comfortable enough for that.

"Guess you'll have to wait and see then, agent Hotchner." Your voice drips like honey and he's pretty sure he just figured out some sort of deep ingrained fetish he didn't know he had until now. "See you soon, airhead!" You laugh innocently before finishing the call and it drives him mad in the most delicious way.

He thinks those are the most torturous 27 minutes he's ever had to go through his life, but the feeling is completely overrun with almost childish glee as he parks in front of your house. He could fit the choice for a house instead of an apartment easily on your own profile but he didn't need too, you liked your space. Apartments have no space. No privacy. He remembers vividly of a conversation you both had after your cousins were forced into an apartment because of your aunt's divorce.

He dries his palms on his pants quickly not sure if he should go to your door, stay where he is or what. He hasn't done this, the whole date ordeal in a while and it just got to him that he has no idea how people do it these days. What's too much or too little?

Aaron finally decides on leaving the car and waiting near by, after sending you a quick text to inform you he was there. It was a middle ground of sorts, he felt confident in it. Kinda.

It doesn't take you long to leave and lock your door and the sight of you immediately takes his breath away, your smile takes him back some years but your thighs remind him quickly that you are both definitely not fifteen anymore. He shakes his head softly, directing his eyes to a more suitable place for a first date: Your hands. You were holding a flower bouquet.

Flowers.

"Fuck." He mutters to himself in frustration, "I forgot to bring you flowers." You don't seem bothered about it, in fact it makes you smile more as you hand him the bouquet in your hands. "You got these... For me?" Aaron grabs the gift softly with both hands, afraid he's going to break it somehow.

"Yeah, wanted to test my theory that you're still a sap." The way his eyes were shining and his lips turned into the sweetest of smiles were enough proof to you. Aaron was always loving, caring, soft. It was interesting seeing him on the news nowdays, stoic, serious, unbothered. You wanted to see how easy it was to break him.

Turns out very easy. At least to you.

"A sap! I’m surprised I got flowers from a beautiful woman, sue me." He opens the passenger door so you can get in, which you quickly do with a cheeky smile on your face, the gift is carefully placed on the backseat before he's back to your side, seat belt on. Nosy as you are, you're already typing some address on the GPS.

"I heard people talking really good things about this place." You muse while he turns the car on, already following the instructions. "Apparently the beer is great and it stays open til late." He doesn't ask for any clarifications, if that's where you want to go, that's where he'll take you.

The food you've both ordered hasn't arrived at your table yet but Aaron has already gulped down two large beers and is trying so very hard to not show how annoyed he is, it makes you laugh, hard. He follows, laughing along and shaking his head.

"Who told you about this place?" He asks accusingly, you take a sip of your own drink and pretend you didn't hear it. "Who?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"Your students then. You trusted a bunch of twenty somethings with our date. Pitiful." You don't reply, instead you just keep laughing to yourself while you drink. The place is loud. Loud music. Loud college students. Loud busy street. You tell him that's exactly the type of place you would hang out with your girl friends to hook up back in London, his experience isn't the same, the lover boy committed since high school.

"How do they even get to know each other over this nooooise?" Laughing at his annoyance only lasts so long and now you're the one not being able to sort through your thoughts, the food is good though, you both agree while munching on the appetizers that accompany the beer.

In retrospect you should've imagined it would be this time of place by the countless mentions of beer whenever a student recommended it.

"Look around, I don't think they're actually trying to." You follow his gaze and notice that as the hours passed, the more couples formed and the less they were actually talking. Exactly as it was in your own college days. "I'm a bit tipsy so I'll let my curiosity win, you never told me why you divorced the second time." It was out of the blue, you told him the first one wasn't that bad, conflicting views on family and you both married too early in the relationship. The second one was... Harsher.

"Bastard cheated on me." You shrugged, but it was obvious it still got to you, Aaron could see it in your eyes, in your voice tone, and that had nothing to do with being a behavior analyst, and everything to do about how he just... Knew you. "His whore also pressed charges against me when I wasn't even trying to hit her, she just got in the way." He chocked on his beer and almost had to spit it out after that tiny little piece of information you hadn't mentioned before.

"You have a record?"

"He made her drop the charges when I left the apartment to him without a fight. That's why I moved back to the states." He blinks once, twice. Maybe he should be worried, but he also knew that could get a bit aggressive when losing control. Just it always happened to terrible people. "I'm obviously joking, airhead." The relief he feels is followed by an annoyed face for believing such a lie, you touch his forehead softy, smoothing the lines so he doesn't look mad anymore. He takes it as a sign, taking your hand in his and kissing your knuckles, then your hand, and pulls you to him, letting go to touch your chin.

If he wasn't drinking the proximity would inebriate him alone, the way your eyes closed and your cheeks blushed in anticipation, he's sweet, lips touching yours with tender patience, much more patient than you, you who lifted your body just a bit from the chair and pulled him by his collar to deepen the kiss, almost causing a disaster if any of you fell over the table with all the glass cups.

You let him go just after hearing some snickering from the table behind yours, not blaming them for it, it probably looked like an awkward kiss from the outside. But it wasn't.

"That was certainly better than our first one..." You smile sheepishly at him, putting your hands on your lap, nervous.

"You blushed and gripped my shirt." He says looking deep into your eyes, making you tilt your head slightly, showing him your confusion. "It's been thirty years, you did the same thing... You blushed and gripped my shirt."

"So you're telling me you make me feel like a school girl."

"I'm telling you you've just acted like one." You take the comment as a challenge, getting up and taking your chair with you to sit closer to him, brushing your lips to his before going to his ear.

"You're drunk and staying over, so why don't we get a taxi and I'll show you the school girl." You can see the way his neck shivers at your little teasing, but he takes advantage of the new found closeness to kiss you again, with much more hunger but also much faster than the first because he's ready to pay the tab and get out of there.

It wasn't really that hard to find a taxi, being a night time neighborhood, they knew to stay around. Aaron had your bag on one of his hands and the other on your thigh. Your arms went around his and your head laid on his shoulder. None of you talked the whole way there, just feeling each other's presence and the alcohol twirling around your minds and your stomachs.

And you did show him you were not a school girl anymore when you both got to your house: You got him your largest t-shirt and pajama pants, your coziest blanket and after you both changed and took aspirins to try and prevent the headache that would inevitably come, you got your pillows and went to the living room and laid on your big couch with Aaron, cuddling with him as some TV show re-run lured you both to sleep.

It was almost 2AM, and while you could take him to your bedroom and take his clothes off like you wanted to, you both knew it was the middle of the week, he had to wake up early to get his car, you would probably pass out under him anyway.

Cuddling was more than enough for a first date. And at least for Aaron, he was sure he wouldn't let go of your embrace anytime soon.

[exhuastedpigeon]

Buddie Hiatus Fic Recs - Day 1 Fics posted between May 15 - June 15

This is the first of probably 9 rec lists that I'm hoping to put out before the 911 premier! Each list will cover a month, starting with the day of the finale and wrapping up the day before the premier.

0-5k wedding bells by renecdote / @renecdote Gen | 1.9 In which Buck and Eddie plan a wedding.

You Should've Just Kissed Me by chronicallystendan / @chronicallystendan Teen | 2.3k Set after the Poker Date Night, Buck overhears Eddie talking about being set up on a date and wonders aloud why Eddie doesn't just explain that he's already in a relationship - with Buck.

let me see them tan lines by 42hrb Teen | 2.8k Four times the 118 notices Eddie Diaz's ring tan line and one time he was wearing a ring.

The Toothbrush Correlation by MidnightJen Gen | 3.1k ‘A toothbrush?’ Hen repeated dubiously, eyebrows high and tone extremely dubious.

‘A toothbrush,’ Eddie confirmed.

The one where Buck has Celiac Disease by buddiefication (pumpkincreamcoldbrew) / @911onabc Gen || 3.3k Buck has celiac disease. He’s also in love with his best friend. His best friend who has a girlfriend. Somehow, these things keep colliding.

Love is stored in the kitchen by toomanybats / @buckstummy Explicit | 3.6k Eddie loses his mind on a Wednesday morning. The thing is that Buck has been around a lot more lately. Like a lot more. Like twenty four hours a day more, his whole apartment building is being fumigated, apparently. The problem is that it’s been like, two entire weeks, and Eddie is only a mere mortal.

take my hand (knot your fingers through mine) by rainbow_nerds, ransomdrysdale / @rainbow-nerdss Teen | 4.1 what 6x18 could've been, pre-relationship

all i ever wanted was a life in your shape by tuckergreeen / @henwilsonmd Gen | 4.3k Pre-relationship | Buck buys a new couch, and a few other things that happen after the bridge collapse. 

you'll feel the rush of it all by oklahoma / @malewifediaz Explicit | 4.7k Buck convinces Eddie to fuck him while they're on the clock at the station—even if it’s just the tip. To nobody's surprise, Eddie folds easily.

5k-10k please don't take this feeling (if I wanted to, I'd be alright) by rowan_wood / @transboybuckley Gen | 5.1k Double Dates, getting together, love confessions

totally not interrupting. at all. by magicisrealforme Gen | 5.2k Maddie's bored and misses her brother so she decides to drop by. She didn't expect to see Eddie there.

ring the bells by thelikesofus / @the-likesofus Gen | 5.3k Buck starts frequenting a coffee shop near the firehouse in hopes of running into the beautiful man whose coffee he mistakenly drank.

mark me like a bloodstain by MonsterRae1 / @monsterrae1 Mature | 6k In a universe were your soulmarks appear when your soulmate is badly injured, Buck think's his died, until his best friend gets shot in front of him and he finaly figures out it was Eddie all along.

not all of us are heroes (not all of us are brave) by withmeornotatall / @chronicowboy Gen | 6k buck and natalia break up, eddie decides to introduce his girlfriend to his son, christopher knows way too much, and the 118's wine night has never been quite so eventful

to feel the need of your touch by honestlydarkprincess / @honestlydarkprincess Explicit | 7.5k The one where Buck is touchstarved and desperate for Eddie. They fuck but it's also really sweet.

10k + right in front of your eyes by rainbow_nerds / @rainbow-nerdss Teen | 15.2k Buck offers to fake-date Eddie so Pepa will stop setting him up on dates.

very time we stop talking (the universe starts screaming) by withmeornotatall / @chronicowboy Mature | 21.9k buck gets reckless, eddie gets angry, they talk in all the wrong ways, and the universe decides to intervene

let's build this house (into a home, baby) by withmeornotatal / @chronicowboy Explicit | 24k.4 Neighbours AU, slow burn, Different first meeting, getting together

i owe you a black eye and 2 kisses by colonoscopys / @colonoscopys Explicit | 29.3k Four weeks later, Buck completes his first mission. Ft Nurse Buck and Mob member Eddie

today i live for a single drop of you by Underhung_Aura / @eddiebabygirldiaz Explicit | 38.9 Five times Buck dreams about sucking Eddie's cock and the one time he actually gets to do it.

let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts / @shitouttabuck Explicit | 54.4k a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realize—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along.

when it's you i'm with (everything goes quiet) by withoutthetiger / @rewritetheending Explicit | 56.2k Eddie can't speak after he and Christopher are in an accident, but somehow he asks Buck to stay while he recovers. Buck can't imagine wanting to be anywhere else, and even in the silence that lingers between them, they both find a way to say everything.

wishing to be the friction by ipretendtobesane / @useramor Explicit | 97.2k the straight eddie friends with benefits fic

[chipified]

Avatar hcs

Spoilers for the reckoning of Roku, the kyoshi novels and the yangchen novels. Note I still need to finish Rokus and kyoshi's books

Korra

• Korra has broken her fingers many, many times

• Her eyes are so bright and eye-catching. People stare at them a lot.

• She could pull so easily. She's great at flirting (usually) But she doesn't because she's loyal to asami

• Sure she was showing growth when she spared kuvira but she does NOT like her. Kuvira pisses her off

• Luckily she's able to make up for her lack of experience in the real world with how social she is but she is clueless about slang and she never understands references

• Jokes fly right over her head

• All of the krew has such a shitty sense of humour they laugh at the dumbest things

• Goes through like 12 hairstyle phases. She loves mixing it up

• Stubborn as hell she stood by the spirit portal decision for he entire life and death

• A really talented bender. In her spare time she attempts to recreate the feats of her past lives

• Bias towards kuruk. She thinks he looked very cool and admired his skills

Aang

• Being vegetarian spared him from the knowledge that he is allergic to shellfish

• Sokka and toph teased him about his first flirting attempts on katara until the day he died

• His death was really unexpected. He was mostly fine leading up to it. Noone could really figure out what killed him at first, it was ultimately just him overworking himself too much

• Not a fan of the spirit world. He avoids it where he can

• Koh the face stealer scared him senseless actually no matter what he says

• He was always really busy with his duties but he did try to spend as much time with his children as he could

• Was super doting on katara while she was pregnant

• Tried a long bearded look for a while. It looked awful and toph clowned on him so hard. So did his kids

• Admired Yangchen and Roku so much. Kyoshi freaked him out as a kid

Roku

• Those first few months of travelling with the air nomads sucked ass. He was constantly covered in mud, his hair was knotted and he STANK oh my god he missed home so bad

• Actually pretty clumsy. Even when he was old he would trip over his own feet all the time. Dislocated his hip once

• A pushover. Sozin would take his snacks and drag him places as small children and he'd just take it

• Sozin had no faith in his avatarhood

• Politics were a nightmare for him in his late teens and twenties because of how awkward he was. He grew into his own though and ended up decently good at negotiating.

• Has freckles, but they only show up at the height of summer

• He doesn't tan he goes red

• Low self esteem, he thinks everything he does is embarrassing

• Collected seashells. Both because he wanted to try and get reacquainted with the ocean and because he thought they were pretty

• Shortly after Yasu died, he was so petrified of water he could barely bathe. He was very traumatised for a long while

• His own safety wasn't much of a priority. Guilt consumed him, so he didn't care what happened to him, as long as the people he was close to were safe

Kyoshi

• Thank god for airbending because she is intensely affected by the cold

• Her Hands are always slightly shaky, so applying her makeup can be so annoying sometimes

• Politics bored her to death

• Queen of “this could've been an email”

Uses her height to her advantage as much as she can. It's just easier and leads to less violence

• Very kind to young children

• She doesn't mean to be harsh or rude, she's just very blunt and has a flat tone

• She got very sick very easily as a kid. If kelsang hadn't found her she probably wouldn't have lived much longer

• Insecure about her appearance. Rangi spent years convincing her she wasn't ugly

• She saw a lot of her younger self in Roku. It made her uncomfortable

Kuruk

• Hopeless romantic. Loves poetry, songwriting and those partner dances. You know damn well he took ummi on as many dates as he possibly could

• Self reliant. Asking for help with anything becomes harder and harder as he grows older (“older”). Even basic stuff like asking someone to help him carry stuff

• His parents were disappointed in him. In their eyes they raised the only avatar in recent history who just didn't do his job

• They both outlived him

• He was fantastic at bending though, he could pull of some tricks that not even his teachers could

• He should've been at the club bro!! House parties would've been his shit!! He would've eaten at karaoke

• As much as he drank he still despised the taste of vodka

• Wanted to be a father. But that didn't work out

• Trust issues

Yangchen

• Her hair started going grey pretty early into her life. She was crazy stressed

• Rip yangchen you would've loved weed

• She did not celebrate the day Chaisee died because that would be disrespectful. So kavik did it for her amen

• Really enjoyed sports. Would've killed it at baseball

• She doesn't like watching the lives of the future avatars until they hit like 25 they stress her out so hard when they're young

• One of the few team avatars to stick together for life and not retire at any point. All of them worked until they were forced to stop

• Infertile

• Tries to visit her sister in the spirit fog sometimes but can't bring herself to go in again. She stops doing this eventually

• Kavik cuts her hair. He's weirdly good at it. In return she brings him trinkets she finds in all the places she visits

• Yingsu and her have spa days together

• Her sanity was hanging on by a thread during Legacy. She was so close to crashing out

• The past lives “possessing” her was an issue her whole life, exacerbated in times of stress. Neither she or her past lives could control it. It just happened when it happened

Wan

• Realistically he knew that he couldn't just fix all the world's problems in his lifetime alone, but god he did not want to die the way he did. He really wanted a peaceful death

• The armour he was wearing when he died was slowly gathered up over the years from battlefields and things he just found on the ground

• His avatar state was slightly different from his incarnations. Since it wasn't something he was born with, it caused some issues. For example, his vision was very poor when he died

• Felt really bad about the impact he had on the other avatars lives.

• Super bored all the time. He's seen everything there is to see at this point

• Wan and raava are super comfortable they know literally everything about each other

• Never had a lover. It just didn't interest him at all. The following avatar just ended up looking similarly to him (Alternatively- he had a bad breakup with a guy and that is why none of the future avatars date men/j)

• Wan and Jaya (his friend that died fighting spirits) built the treehouse they lived in together. Yao (tree-sprit guy) met them a little later. They formed their own little family after being shunned by everyone else

• Yangchens life was his favourite to watch. Aang's life was his least favourite.

• Korra was the only one he went out of his way to speak to. He hasn't been summoned for at least a few thousand years and he just prefers to let them make their own decisions