#and i cant handle drinking energy drinks they scare me and im a little sensitive to large amounts of caffeine

[toytulini]

DO this 👍

it will be fine

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

[maggiesarchives]

IS IT OC DAY YET?!?!?! BECAUSE I HAVE THOUGHTS(tm)

OKAY SO ANYONE WITH A RUDIMENTARY UNDERSTANDING OF STAR WARS KNOWS ABOUT MANDALORIANS RIGHT?

My Mando OC is from swtor and i love him. His name is Ke’ade and he was born on Tatooine to a Republic settlement, unfortunately after an invasion from the Empire left his home in ashes and he himself missing in the desert for several days he became a Bounty Hunter, running from one world to the next (there was an incident on Mek-Sha). now imagine this death-stick-smoking-sith-shit-talking-tiny-motherfucker meeting the-perfect-jedi-embodiment-of-peace-and-serenity — what happens then?? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY FIND OUT HE’S FORCE SENSITIVE?!?!???! WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A FORCE SENSISTIVE MANDALORIAN?!?!?!? (Bounty Hunter)

drinking, drinking happens

Mar’keo is the perfect jedi, serene, calm, understanding and compassionate. unfortunately he is surrounded by seven other dumbasses ranging from chaotic neutral to chaotic slut. He develops what ultimately comes to a little bit of a drinking problem (during the Mek-Sha incident)- he can’t handle this gremlin boy he meets on Nar Shadaa???? He already has Nicky???? he’s like that dad that says he doesn’t want anymore kids and yet adopts the next child he sees. After the Alderaan Accident there’s a nice little rhyme that goes around the family: “what do you do with a drunk-ass Jedi what do you with a drunk-ass jedi what do you do with a drunk ass jedi earrrly in the mooooorning?” (Consular)

And Nicky, sweet, feral Nicky, this kid took down the EMPEROR the goddamn BIG BAD. He’s so done with everything. he’s batshit 25/8. diplomacy???? Lana handles that because there is NOT going to be another Alderaan Accident. He’s married to Theron Shan who (despite refusing to admit it) is just as feral and impulsive. Mar’keo and Nicky have known each other since they were BABIES- growing up in the Jedi Order together and literally the first two members of their weird dysfunctional family that would kill and die for each other. (Knight)

Don’t even get me started on Trii’va. She’s all of them combined in a beautiful blend of chaotic dumbass and pure big dick energy. Did i mention she’s married to He’katia??? Member of the Dark Council and right hand lady to Darth Marr??? No??? Well we shall come back to that. This chick is the loopiest smuggler on the hyper lanes, she taught Nicky how to ride a motorbike and give Mar’keo and Lana an extra 35 heart attacks a month. (smuggler)

He’katia is The Librarian Lesbian That Kills People For Fucking Up The Dewey Decimal System and is the Togruta embodiment of “Books are better than people” she loves the Empire and openly advocates for change amongst the Sith while proudly showing off her feral wife and having tea parties with Darth Marr while they bitch about Vowrawn and Saresh. (inquisitor)

KEL!!!! KEL’KATIS!!!! or as Mar’keo calls him “that slut” because let’s be real he is the SLUTTIEST Sith on the block and there is an ongoing rivalry between Nicky and Kelly to see who has the softest hair in the known galaxy and let me tell you it gets VIOLENT.

we don’t talk about the Water Shortage of ‘07

Karavia- because where did Trii’va learn her sass if not from her mom? Trii’va is adopted, Karavia (or auntie Kavvy as the rest call her) is Cathar and Trii’va is Twi’lek and she is THE most badass mom ever, literally, take no shit. She hates, hates the brass, and so when given free reign over Havoc Squad and her uptight-but-in-a-cute-way lieutenant she uses every chance to piss off as many entitled fucks as she can and well...... Monkey see monkey do right? (trooper)

and then, at last, we have Ahtoan. Tony. Top-Hat-McGee as Ke’ade lovingly dubbed him. The youngest member of Imperial Intellegence and the youngest saboteur to fuck that shit up. He is by far the youngest of all of them (not even hitting twenty at the beginning of the story) and was found by Nicky somewhere between the end of Ilum and the beginning of Makeb. The poor kid is tired, he just wants to go to sleep. He’s never had a real family and so when he meets these seven other fucked up weirdos he is SO happy- and then Mar’keo offers to help heal him, and so breaks down crying and just HUGS the man. (Agent)

It is at that point we reach the collective look of “We’ve only had Tony a day and a half but if anything happened to him we’d kill everyone in the galaxy and then ourselves”

suffer reading all that Darth Mags

lets. fucking. go.

Ke'ade

loving that Tragic Backstory™ and whenever someone says the words Bounty Hunter I always go 👀👀👀👀👀

HES TINY!!??!?!? HE IS SMOL???!!!!?!?!???! he is mine now I am stealing him. AND HES FORCE SENSITIVE??!!?!?!?!

in curious abt this perfect-je si-embodiment-of-peace-and-serenity and now the two would act around each other 👀👀👀👀

Mar'keo

Mar'keo and the Seven Dumbasses sjfsjfsjfsfhzhfsh p l e a s e its like this weird off brand snow white movie I watched at the beach with Hero 😂😂😂

okay so im assuming this is the Perfect Jedi Character you were talking abt?? ok good.

cant wait for chaos slut to make an appearance

aww, poor alcoholic bby, its ok I support him no matter what. also all this talk of mek-sha is scaring me.

NICKY I think I remember nicky jahshshha

I'm assuminf the gremlin is Ke'ade??? correct me if I'm wrong please :))

"that dad that says he doesn't want any more kids but then adopts the next child he sees" ahem do you mean Qui-Gon???? I think you mean Qui-Gon.

THE RHYME I'm in love

Nicky

NICKY !!!!! sweet feral nicky :') I love him already.

Hes just tired, he took down the big bad, let him rest.

done with everything??? batshit 25/8????? sounds like my kind of dude tbh

the alderaan accident 👀👀👀 im intrigued

we stan jedi besties-since-birth

FUCK YEAH JEDI KNIGHT BABEYYY

Trii'va

ma'am pls step on me

I live for chaotic dumbass ladies

honestly she just sounds so cool, 10/10 I love her

MARRIED TO MAULS RIGHT HAND LADY AYYYYY

did someone say badass wives who kick as a while looking hot as fuck? no??

He'katia

I have no words to express how much I love her

LIBRARY LESBIAN

I just zhshhagaggagsga

showing off her wide??? tea parties with maul?????? gimme.

Kel'katis

*bangs fist on table* CHAOS SLUT

I love the him. I want more. please tell me more abt the chaos slut.

lmaooo soft hair battle 😂😂😂 I love it

Karavia

AUNTIE KAVVY P L E A S E THATS SO CUTE

this woman. I just- jdhdhshjshshsh

I love her.

pissing off the entitled and then the gang copies her 😂😂😂 I love it

Ahtoan

TONY

TOPHAT MCGEE

I LOVE HIM

babie

never had a real family 😭😭😭 please let me hug him, that's so soft abt the healing hshsbzbahbzb

in conclusion, I love them all.

its OC day! ~ celebration info post

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[malefectium]

𝒶 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓍 𝒷𝓁𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝓇𝑜 𝓅𝑜𝓈𝓉

EMMA DUMONT —— Well, if it isn’t BELLATRIX BLACK, the SLYTHERIN superstar. For those of you who don’t know HER, you can spot them sitting with the other SEVENTH years. Most people think that they’re HUMOROUS and EMPHATIC, but they can also seem pretty DESTRUCTIVE and VINDICTIVE Sometimes people call them the HELLION. Sure, they’re a PUREBLOOD, but that doesn’t define them. 

character parallels: regina mills (ouat), katherine pierce (tvd), christina yang (grey’s anatomy)

prep yourselves for a lesson in bellatrix black:

 so first, the goal for my girl is to not let her go fULL crazy yet. it’s hard to maintain, especially in a school setting and like??? nonsensical honestly.

 but i’ve let her spiral before so we’ll see haha kajsdhlf but she ain’t so angry this time. im tryin!

 but basically bellatrix is ready to let the world burn for the sake of reaching her goals. she’s ambitious man. she gon be a queen someday. that’s what this is all about. her getting what she wants. what she DESERVES dammit. and she’s a queen. where her kingdom at, you bitches??? WHERE IS IT ???

this grllllllllllllll. damn is she crazy about the female empowerment and crushing your enemies to dust thing.  have a problem?   NBD. because guess what, you have all the abilities in the world to TAKE CARE OF THAT SHIT. idk man, she might be on to something. ain’t nuthin gon stop her and why should it? everyone take notes on how to be a bad bitch.

dumbledore himself admitted she had prodigious skill. not that she’s??? been running around bullying the fuck out of people? she’s just imperious and self-important rn. if anything, everyone isn’t really worth her time

listen.    she bought into absolutely EVERYTHING she was told growing up. ‘you’re a black”,  “you’re part of an exemplary lineage of witches and wizards that came before you and now all that weight is on YOU, bellatrix”    “you must continue this great and amazing line of magic users because it gets stronger with each generation, bellatrix”  “the fact you’re a black is the best and most important part of you, bellatrix” 

 abuse tw:  i mean???? it made her feel special, it brought meaning to a world that can be a little scary sometimes. forget the part where the people telling you these things are literally beating it into you. of course  it made   sense   that her family, these people around her that she cared for so much, were important.  it had to.  why should she think any differently?

 yes, i know the pureblood thing isn’t logical, at it’s essence it’s the search for self-worth at the expense of putting others down based on??????? literally nothing

but sadly that’s where all her self worth lies now. in a legacy  that she can’t even truly continue because she’s a woman. like??? i know she’s not a victim in the future because she makes A LOT of regrettable and horrifying choices???  but idk man. rn she’s just a kid.   it’s sad to me

anyways soap box over

 she is a soldier. so loyal. v dedicated and invested in the things she cares about. she’s not hollow about her emotions. she really really  CARES.  maybe too much. 

 she takes a lot of pride in being a part of something bigger than herself. the black lineage?? hell yeah she’ll take up that mantle. voldemort’s cause?? well that just gets her fucking wet dude. it’s how she’ll contribute, you know? she just doin her part. maybe in a way that she couldn’t even imagine for herself before now. not only will her family be the best and brightest but also??? rule the world??? 

come on man. who’d say no to something like that?

she’s a good student. v. smort. those spells come easy son. maybe she’s starting to dip into some spells she shouldn’t know, you know?? 

she be eyeing that restricted section, fam

 but  she’s also working v hard on keeping her nose clean so dumbledore wILL GET OFF HER BACK. that shithead’s scrutiny of her is over the top at this point. she ain’t done anything

yet

fucKING DO NOT insult her family. i s2g she can’t take it. she’s too protective. narcissa andie reggie even that fucking traitor sirius. she has so much love. I know that sounds crazy but family is her life. it’s BLOOD. they’re her’s, the only things youre simply given when you come into this world and she holds on so tight to them.

her name is her life. it means everything to her. being a black gives her purpose and so much privilege. basically if youre not in her family she feels so bad for you because omg yOUR LIFE MUST SUUUUUUUCCCKKKK. 

but also there’s a lot of pressure coming from that name.  don’t fail because well, honestly you CANT fail. there’s a lot riding on this legacy thing. even with half this family abandoning ship. that’s kind of ..... well that’s kind of adding a lot of pressure. but she can handle it. she has to, you know.   otherwise what else is there?

wow it’s almost like she cares about being a part of something.

 almost like she’s scared of ending up alone because what is she, if not a ‘black’??

 i’m SORRY? depth? fear? humanity? from a villian ?   *gasp*

weird.   wild.   unheard of.

daddy’s fave. omg daddy girl to the max. she admired the fuck out of that man. but her mom can suck a dick for all the fucks she gives. wHICH IS NONE  like pls someone kill the bitch

she’s so loyal. her life hasn’t been consumed by old voldie yet (or maybe ever??? iDK WE’LL SEE) so like. all that energy going to her fam. they haven’t completely failed her yet. sirius was a blow but . . . maybe she still has some hope for him

andie? love of her life. a queen. narcissa?  surely the brightest star in the sky.  reggie? perfect, delicate, and sensitive adult-sized infant, no one touch. sirius? MORON.  . . .  but also her moron, so. he better get his fucking act together

 speaking of shitty choices. hellooo drinking and smoking and general bad behavior type o habits. i’d say fucking but meh dlfkjasdhf everyone gon hate her

 mental illness tw: but yup that’s her escape. she straight up drowns herself in easy things. she’s v gluttonous, and enjoys sweets and wines and good food. it’s distracting when things get too much. when the walls are closing in on her and she remembers that there’s only really ONE option for the rest of her life. it’s kind of scary actually. gives her kind of a headache. plus forget about sleeping man. she’ll toss and turn at the slightest sound. or just lie awake thinking. dissociating. and damn has it been getting a lot worse lately. good thing she always has candy. or a flask.  

 at least it’s better then  leaving  (sorry she salty af about sirius man, she just didn’t see it coming)

possible connections: idk it’s bellatrix dude. everyone gon be scared of her al;dksjfl; but she aint so bad you pussies