#and i can't really do anything but play videogames to distract myself and then vent endlessly to people who reach out
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#hhhh#another stupid. vent post#been a while but mostly I've just been too tired to write it down#is there like. A fun quirky way to say i wanna kill myself still#....no probably not#anyway. i do.#im... im still in that day program thing#partial hospitalization. It's a good program. Lots of classes and very judgement free#sadly i cannot help but feel I'm. doomed to failure#because i need so much higher a level of care than this#i. frankly i should be put in a nursing home#that's probably the level I'm at#it all hurts. so much. everything does. my body my mind trying to think trying to talk trying to type#everything hurts either physically or mentally#I'm tired and exhausted all the time#I can barely move some days#I'm a massive financial burden on the people who love me#and i can't really do anything but play videogames to distract myself and then vent endlessly to people who reach out#....if you see this and reach out#i apologize if i don't end up replying#I'm overwhelmed lately#i just can't keep up#and can't help being lonely as fuck despite that#....but i do read it all#every message i get i read. and i cherish. And i forget because of my adhd but when i read it#i feel good for a minute#......so.....#..if you've reached out before...thank you#...if you plan to now.... I'm about to sleep so i may not reply but#....thank you
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