#and i bet it will ve awfuk as always | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hmsmilkbone · 6 months

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I quit my 'job' (I don't think you can even call it that.) I was doing character concepts for a little mobile game, and it became increasingly clear that I was the weakest contributing member.

I'm not really sure what to do. I have been so afraid for so long that I'm not even really living my life. I don't push myself or try harder. I get scared and avoid things, and now I am a shit artist and a shitty person.

With ai and the entry level work so polished, I don't think I'll ever get anywhere. I should probably quit and get a real job, but it hurts my heart. I think I could probably put in the effort and improve, but I'm too much of a loser and a coward. And I guess that's ok with me because I'm not doing anything about it. I wish I was a different person, but I choose to be a failure, and this is the consequence. Idk what to do. I could choose to improve and move forward, but it feels like there's no point.

#who knows anymore #i dont even know if i like concept art #i clearly suck at it #how long am i gojng to waste everyone's time #i hate it bc there are tons of people out there scamming everyone or that believe theyre talented when they just use ai #so i should have more confidence and belief in myself #but whats the point #it doesnt get me anywhere #i am still bad #i tried so hard and i still am bad #at some point you have to accept you shouldn't waste everyone's time with your existence #and im there rn #if i wasnt pregnant i would give up #but i have to keep going on some level #so I'll do the bare minimum and find another job #and accept that i cant do art and im too worthless for it #and ill try to hide how upset i am with myself that i never really tried #i also have dinner to make tonight for a big group.#i tried so hard to make dough and ingredients #and i bet it will ve awfuk as always #and it will be my fault and failure again as always #i shouldnt try #i should just go back to being quiet #at least i didnt ruin anythjng then even if it was awful to live like that

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