#and i at least think it’s quite clear he wants to be viserys’ consort

[fruitageoforanges]

my conspiracy theory is that part of daemon’s strained relationship with baela in f&b (not sure to what extent they’re going to go down that route in the show, especially as they seem to be somewhat butchering baela + rhaena) is due to gender envy.

[where-dreams-dwell]

Daemon Targaryen's Potential (1/2)

I think I can see what they're trying to do with Daemons character of HOTD but there are such better vessels for self exploration and character development that have been squandered.

Season 1 Daemon is (in hindsight) trying to find himself; he's lashing out and fighting wars, he's trying to force Viserys and the world to give him what he wants, he's trying on being a husband and father while being half a world from the rest of his family, and he's finally basking in marrying the woman he loves and creating a family with her. He's a bit all over the place but we can trace the character growth through his actions and decisions.

But in the Season Finale we finally see the cracks in Daemon as a person, and in his relationship with Rhaenyra. These are areas where no pressure has been placed yet and so they didn't realize that when they were tested they would buckle slightly. Its great and engaging TV, and understandable with Daemon's character progression that these areas had not been explored or challenged until that time. And it adds further worries to Rhaenyra's faction as a ruler and a wife that one of her supposed strongest supporters and source of strength isn't actually as secure as previously thought.

Firstly, Daemons sense of self is challenged when he realizes his brother never viewed him as his heir or a legitimate successor to the Iron Throne. Daemon has stated time and again he doesn't want the throne and the narrative supports that, but its likely a small part of him cherished that for a time he was the heir and his brothers successor. To learn that Viserys never thought of him in that way was devastating, and we know this Daemons physically chokes his wife as he learns it. This is the first distance of violence we have seen towards Rhaenyra personally and towards a wife he cares about (he did kill his first wife Rhea but he made it clear he didn't respect or care for her at all, so in Daemons mind this wouldn't have been a shocking action). This reaction, of violence towards someone he has shown in word and deed that he values and loves, is actually quite out of character and emphasizes how shocked and distraught he is at learning of his brothers 'betrayal' of him.

Secondly his sense of self as a husband is challenged when Rhaenyra is laboring to deliver their daughter Visenya. The narrative implies that this is an unexpected and early birth, so no one is expecting it to end well even putting aside the baby's deformities, but Daemon chooses to prioritize the political and logistical aspects of his role as King-Consort and not the personal one. Even when his wife is crying out for him, when his step-son pleads with him to go to her, he still prioritizes the 'duty' of being a leader and husband of the Queen over that of a husband to a wife. We are shown Daemon as a devoted father to Baela and Rhaena, and as a husband to Leana he prioritized her choice and care over that of medical professionals. This change in behavior when a position of leadership or power was included in the mix is an intriguing development in Daemon's attitude as a father and husband.

And finally his self of self as a leader or ruler of men is challenged when it is made clear that while he is valued for his ideas and input, the final decision will rest with his wife as she is Queen. This is both a change of Daemon personally, as at least since their marriage he and Rhaenyra are shown to either be in agreement on all fronts or to make decisions jointly, and also the same situation he was in when Viserys was king; every decision had to be run through his brother. This is a stark wake up call for Daemon that he will not be able to make decisions independently and unilaterally on his own, and his power once again comes as an extension of someone else. Its likely that even if he knew this academically, it is another thing to be living it and especially at a time of crisis.

Daemon then encounters a crisis of faith in Season 2 Ep 1 in that his view of Rhaenyra is fundamentally challenged, both as a ruler and as a person. Rhaenyra's reaction to her sons death is fundamentally different to how Daemon would react if he were in her position, or so he believes, and he thinks less of her as a result of this. Daemon, as a father, would react more violently to his son being killed and when Rhaenyra doesn't he thinks less of her as a parent; in his view this is the wrong way to grieve the loss of a child. Daemon, as a ruler, would react more vindictively and in a retaliatory fashion against those who had taken his child from him and Rhaenyra isn't doing so; in his view this makes her look weak as a ruler, and undermines her ability to rule and so is again the wrong way to be acting. His faith in her as a Queen is crumbling every time she doesn't do as he would if he were in the chair, especially as he views them as so alike and as 'twin flames'; his frustration grows as he is not allowed to act and the one who is allowed isn't doing what he thinks they should.

This isn't to say that Daemon is right or that Rhaenyra is wrong in this; Daemon thinks the way he would react is just 'the right way' to do so and Rhaeny's is the one who councils him that not only is Rhaenyra's reaction to everything both understandable and acceptable (and that she grieved in the same way herself) but that at the end of the day it doesn't matter if Daemon feels he would act differently; he is not the King and never will be so it is pointless to speculate. Rhaenyra is the Queen and so their role is not to try and make her grieve or act differently but to support her actions in that grief.

Daemons actions with Blood and Cheese are a reaction to all of these criseis, of self and of faith, and is Daemon once again acting selfishly and lashing out; only this time the consequences of his actions will be direct and damaging. In reaction to not being able to act without his wife's oversight, in reaction to him feeling Rhaenyra is not acting violently and decisively enough as a ruler and as a mother, Daemon acts both independently and violently, and it immediately backfires. The Greens fumble the bag a bit with the PR opportunity he gives them but his actions could have cost Rhaenyra allies, support, and even eventually the war itself. His selfish actions hurt and undermine Rhaenyra as a ruler, and their relationships is shown to be weaker and more flawed than either of them had thought it to be.

And in that final scene of confrontation it shows that Daemons own actions have always been his downfall, and that again none of his struggles are new information; Rhaenyra was always going to be Queen, Daemon was always going to act as the support to her rule, and yet everything he is doing is eroding her trust and reliance upon him. Time away for him to realize his flaws and re-commit to the life and position that he knowingly chose will make their partnership strong enough to survive the imminent tragedies looming on the (metaphorical) horizon, and make their love feel doomed enough when The Dance reaches it conclusion. That final arc will not hit hard enough if half of the people watching don't truly believe Daemon supports his wife 100% so now is the time to put in the character work and exorcise those doubts.