#and i am super happy i was able to help her out (it wouldve been a long walk for her | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yikesharringrove · 4 years ago

Note

Changing the theme a bit, since I saw you dont hate Jonathan thank goddd, maybe Jonathan having to ask Steve and Billy for tips because he's aro or ace? Or something he knows Lonnie wouldve actually killed him for, which Billy gets and Steve is fully willing to help soft Jonathon be a THING and they are just his gay mentors and mayhaps. Nancy just doesnt get it and it gets messy and Will just stands up for his brother in full anger and slams the door in her face and hugs jon so tight he falls

Steve is sex-positive ace, Billy is sex-repulsed, and Jon is greyace bc I’ve gotten so many messages about how many people were affected positively by showing ace diversity in that one drabble I wrote, so we’re keeping this goin’ because you’re ALL VALID. 😤

Jonathan had been crashing on their couch for a week and a half and has yet to say anything about the situation more than Nancy and I had a fight.

Billy and Steve didn’t know what the fuck to do about it. Jonathan was obviously fucking heartbroken over whatever the fight had been about, but they didn’t wanna pry.

“Thank you guys for taking me in. I’m sorry, I’ve probably been cramping your style.” Steve just shook his head, serving three plates of eggs and toast.

“There’s not a lot of style going on in this apartment for you to cramp.” Steve smiled at him as he placed the plates on the table. Jonathan gave him an odd look.

“What do you, what do you mean?”

“We don’t really fuck.” Billy was always the blunt one. Jonathan’s fork clattered to the table.

“You don’t, why not?”

“Neither of us are really into it.” Jonathan looked like he could fucking cry.

“Me neither. That’s what the fight was. Nancy kept asking why we don’t have sex, and if I stopped loving her, and I do! I love her so much, but I just, sometimes I feel that way about her, but I usually don’t, and I’m so fucking confused.” Steve reached out, placing a firm hand on Jonathan’s arm.

“Jon, it’s okay. I mean, I don’t think we’ve had sex in like, a year?” Billy nodded.

“It was before we actually talked about how we both felt about it.”

“And is that-” Jonathan trailed off, but they got it. Is that like me.

“I don’t mind sex. If I’m with someone who wants to have it, I can be cool with that, but I don’t always get off, and it’s more about making the other person feel good, or using it as another way to be like, intimate. But I don’t really think about it, and I can definitely go without.”

“I actively don’t like fucking. I kinda think sex is, is fucking gross. I mean, you do you and all that, but like, every time I had sex it just, it made me feel gross.” He pulled a face.

“I just, I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel for her, honestly.” Jonathan ran a hand down his face. “Sometimes, sometimes it just feels like a fucking chore. And she just, she kinda confronted me about it, and I probably could’ve worded it better, but she got so angry, and hurt, and we just, we decided to take some time apart.” He pushed the eggs around his plate. “And there are some situations that I just, I want it with her so badly, but most, most of the time I just, I just want to be with her, like just spend time with her. And she, she’s never been very good at being sensitive about things, or, or, sympathetic, and she just, she made me feel fucking broken. Like there was something wrong with me.”

“First of all, fuck her for making you feel like that.” Billy had one eyebrow raised.

“Bill-”

“No. Jonathan, you are not broken, and it sucks she made you feel that way. If she can’t be in a relationship that respects your boundaries, then she is not the one.”

Steve sighed.

“Jon, Bill’s right. A relationship should be safe. She should be more mindful of your boundaries and feelings, and should not be making you feel bad for those things. I’m not saying you should like, dump her-”

“I am.” Steve batted a hand at Billy.

“-but, if you have an open conversation with her, and nothing changes, then you are always welcome here.” Steve squeezed his arm again.

The talk with Nancy had been bad.

She had taken everything really personally, said that Jonathan needed to sort out his priorities and to let her know when he’s attracted to her again.

And he tried, he tried so hard to explain the way he felt, that it all comes and goes like the fucking tide, but she had put her foot down.

So he showed up back to Billy and Steve’s apartment with two more suitcases and tears in his eyes.

“I just, I know I can fake it when I need to, I don’t know why I didn’t.”

“Because forcing yourself to do shit like that sucks. Fuck Nancy for being a bitch. Figure yourself out, and then find someone who respects your boundaries.”

Billy was pacing in front of the sofa, talking sharply, pointing at Jonathan a lot. Steve had one arm over his shoulders.

“You deserve respect, Jon. And you deserve to feel safe and happy in a relationship.”.

He couldn’t sleep that first night.

The fight was circling in his head, over and over and over and over-

He heard the bedroom door open, and someone creep out through the living room and into the kitchen.

He looked over the back of the couch, saw a bleary eyed Steve filling a glass of water for himself, wearing one of Billy’s faded band shirts, and a pair of panties.

Jonathan laid back down before Steve could see him looking.

The next morning, he found himself staring at Steve.

He had put shorts on, and even a chunky cardigan while he made breakfast, but Jonathan knew.

“Can I, can I talk to you about something?” Steve smiled brightly at him. “I, um, I noticed you coming out here last night.” Steve just nodded, a look of recognition in his eyes.

“You wondering about panties?”

“Um, yeah.” Steve shrugged. “I just like ‘em. And it’s not like, a sexual thing. Sometimes they make me feel sexy, but that’s not what it’s about. I just like them. Have a lot of women’s thing.”

“What about them do you like?” Steve shrugged again.

“It’s hard to describe. I’ve never felt like, super masculine. Like, big macho tough guy, I wanna hunt and never talk about my feelings.” Steve put on a stupid-sounding deep voice for his macho man. “And I mean, not all men are like that, but that’s kind of how you’re expected to be. And women are expected to be pretty and delicate, and I’ve always related to that more. Women’s clothes help me feel that way.”

“I’ve, um, I’ve always felt that too. Not necessarily the kinda, pretty and delicate part, but the, not feeling connected to masculinity and like, what’s expected from you.” Steve set down a plate of eggs and bacon in front of Jonathan, putting one down for himself as well, and one in Billy’s empty space.

“Hold that thought, I’m gonna grab Billy. He doesn’t like it when I yell for him.” Steve patted him on the arm, and was gone for a few minutes before he returned with Billy in tow. “Okay, Jonathan. Please continue.”

“Well, not much to say. I feel like my dad kinda always shoved that like, macho man shit on me. Would take me hunting and stuff and I just never liked it.”

“Jesus, mine did that shit too. Not with hunting, but he was all about men having their place, and women having their place.” Billy took an aggressive bite of his bacon.

“Mine was too! I got sad once when I shot a rabbit, and he called me a pussy for like, a week.”

“When my dad was layin’ into me, if he ever saw my cry, it would just get that much worse.” They were nodding at one another, trading shitty dad stories back and forth. “He would like, get mad if I helped my mom cook and shit, too.”

“God, it’s like we had the fuckin’ same dad.” Billy raised his mug at Jonathan. “It’s hard to break outta that shit, even though he’s not in your life, anymore.”

“I think so, too. I haven;t seen him in years, but every time I do something he would’ve thought was too soft, I can still hear him in my head. And you know, that’s one of the things I like about Nancy. She’s really hard, and tough, and never expected me to be that way.” And he knows that in the end, Nancy was bad news for him, not being able to love and accept him, but that aspect of their relationship was so nice, so easy.

“There doesn’t always have to be both. I mean, Steve’s more outwardly soft, but we’re both real mushy at our cores. There doesn’t have to be a big tough one and a sweet soft one. Sometimes you have elements of both and you make it work.”

“You just have to find the balance within yourself, I think. And learn to embrace the parts of you that are soft and the parts that are hard.” Jonathan was nodding vigorously at Steve. “And it’s always different. I love getting to feel soft and pretty in a dress or something, whereas Billy finds ways to be soft by taking care of things, like me and all the plants.”

“Do you think, do you think you could help me? Find that, I mean.”

“Of course! Just think of the things you already feel, things that feel right when you do them, and that’s a good starting point. And maybe that’s your photography, and maybe it’s something else.”

So they let Jonathan experiment with things to find his softness.

He would help Billy tend to the fucking garden they had on the balcony, or bake with Steve. He took a million pictures, and Steve was thriving under the camera, would put on make up and something pretty and pose around the apartment.

It was just nice.

Getting to live with these two, and train himself not to be ashamed, it was nice.

Will would come and visit quite often, and he and Jonathan spent a wonderful Saturday evening coming out to each other, and validating the ever loving shit out of one another.

Billy and Steve came home to the two brothers hugging one another on the couch and trying to hold back tears.

Steve had inserted himself into the hug while Billy patted each one of them on the head and started making dinner.

But he figured of course this would happen.

His perfect little cocoon would crumble apart at some point.

Will had come over, and Steve and Billy had gone out to dinner together, leaving the two of them to order pizza and have a movie night.

It was great, hanging out with his brother like when they were little, not a fucking care in the world.

There was a knock at the door.

“Jon, it’s me. It’s Nancy. Can we talk” Jonathan’s heart stuttered to a halt in his chest.

Will was staring at the door like maybe he could set it on fire if he glared hard enough.

Jonathan sighed, opening the door to face his fate.

“Are you seriously still mad at me?”

“Yes.” She huffed.

“C’mon. Come back home.”

“Nancy, I can’t. Not if you’re not going to respect me.”

“We were fine. I don’t know why we can’t just go back to the way we were-”

“Because I was forcing myself to do things I was uncomfortable with just to make you happy.”

“Relationships are compromise, Jonathan.”

“I know that, but when I brought up to you what wasn’t working, you refused to listen. I was the only one forfeiting my boundaries and comfort in that relationship, and I deserve more.” She rolled her eyes.

“Jesus Christ, Jonathan, this is-” Will was shoving Jonathan back, stepping between the two.

“Nancy, he’s done talking to you about this. Unless you can respect that he doesn’t always feel that way, then move the fuck on.” He slammed the door right in her face. “You don’t need her.”

Jonathan was gobsmacked. Will had never spoken to anyone like that, at least not that Jonathan’s every seen.

“Why did you...?” He trailed off, still staring at the door.

“She was pissing me off. You’re right. You compromised everything in that relationship and she couldn’t even give you the bare minimum.”

Jonathan swept Will up, hugging him as tight as he possibly could.

“Thank you.”

“You deserve better than her.”

“Yeah, I do.”

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mag200 · 4 years ago

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as a white gay i wanna say to other white gays i do not wanna hear any fucking whining from u about how the half of it wasnt queer enough.

i just watched it for the first time and havent stopped sobbing yet so bear with me im not articulate rn but i just went thru the tag and apparently some of yall are pulling this shit.

this is gonna be full of spoilers yeet

the half of it was genuinely so fucking well written and balanced so many kinds of Otherness beyond ellie figuring out shes gay. throughout watching the whole thing i was super anxious bc it didnt feel like there was going to be any happy and fulfilling ending where ellie and aster ended up together, and what did end up happening was much more open, and made sense.

all three characters had a path they were locked onto by external forces and were afraid to break out. aster “i should probably just marry trig right” and paul “i’d rather break my own heart than my moms” and ellie, ellie who wouldve stayed forever to help her dad bc he was all she had to cling to of her heritage in this super conservative town.

like theres so much to say and i am way too ineloquent to put it together rn but what im saying is ellie and aster being together at the end wouldve just been locking into another path and wouldnt have been satisfactory, because they needed to leave that town and have the freedom to figure themselves out. like theyre 17/18. theyre kids still. the “see you in a few years” line was good. they all had this rlly genuine and wonderful connection that should be celebrated but that doesnt mean forcing it to stay the same forever? they literally said that. ellies dad said “have you ever loved someone so much you never want them to change?” and then he was able to let his daughter go so she could grow into herself.

anyway. the kiss was good. my head is fucking spinning rn. the openness at the end, full of pain and delight, is what made it a great movie. as a white gay, speaking to other white gays, lets stay in our fucking lane alright.

#i cant form a singular functional thought rn sorry ahh #that shit was So good fuck #the half of it

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negasonicimagines · 6 years ago

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TEAM (Part Two)

I forgot to mention that this fic is partially inspired by Lorde’s “Team,” hence the title. Kind of about how no matter how much you and the other characters here bicker, you’re all on each others’ team.

This is the second part to TEAM (Part One) [but I hope that’d be obvious] and therefore is inspired by the same request and has essentially the same trigger warnings.

“So, you and Ellie, huh? About time,” Logan remarks, and you feel yourself blush.

“No! It’s not like that! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d be the luckiest girl in the world, but, uh… No, it’s not like that.”

“Are you sure about that? I’ve seen the way you two are together. When she’s not looking at you or her phone, she’s watching everyone else like a hawk, like they’re threats. Honestly, Piotr’s worried about her.”

At the mention of Wade’s friend, you’re reminded of what Logan said before, about the thing that he knew that he shouldn’t tell her, the thing Wade also knew.

“What was that, anyway? The thing you knew that you didn’t know before that you would’ve told me if you had but couldn’t tell me?”

“I’m afraid that’s Wade’s business.”

“Great,” you remark. “So, I’ll never know.”

“Listen, kid, I know the stuff he said-”

“Screamed.”

“The stuff he screamed at you was pretty fucking awful. But… He had his reasons, okay? Being around him, being as close to him as you were was dangerous. It made you a target,” Logan explains.

“When will you people realize that I can’t die forever?! I’ve died plenty of times, and I always come back! Let me make my own decisions!”

“How many times have you died, Y/N?” Logan asks.

“It’s just… Hard not to starve when my mom kicks me out over school breaks, especially with the metabolism that comes with a healing factor. I can’t stay with Wade all the time, he has himself and Al to worry about. Muggers don’t like when you don’t have money. Mom doesn’t like me when I don’t have money. I don’t know, probably like eight or nine times.”

“You should’ve come here!” Logan scolds, and you want to curl in on yourself, just like before. “I’m sorry. He and I both know just how much dying can fuck you up, so, to hear you say that you’ve died.... And that you don’t care if you do? It’s concerning, to say the least.”

“Boo-hoo, Y/N’s crazy. Who isn’t?” you remark, annoyed at his concern. Men, they always think they know better.

He sighs. “Listen. You should just talk to him, I’m sure-”

“No,” you say, and it comes out as a whimper. The wound was still fresh. “I don’t want to.”

“Hey, he’s not gonna hurt you,” Logan reassures you. “He probably feels bad for what he said, and-”

“I said no,” you cut him off, but the sad tone in your voice doesn’t make you sound very convincing.

“And he’s not gonna apologize unless he thinks you wanna hear it. You know how Wade gets when he feels guilty, he doesn’t know how to deal with it.”

“Well, I don’t wanna hear an apology. I just want him to be my friend again, like before. That’s it. I don’t care to know why, or how, or whatever. I just miss my friend,” you admit, and Logan sighs.

“Okay...”

“Is it alright if I go? I wanna get started on my Chemistry homework.”

“Yeah,” Logan says. “Go ahead. See you next Wednesday. Or, sooner, if you need anything.”

You leave the gym, making your way to your dorm with your head down, when you bump into a familiar red-suited man.

“Sorry,” you squeak, not even able to meet the eyes of the mask, before attempting to go past him. He stops you, grabbing at your shoulder, but you flinch away. “Please d-don’t…”

“Y/N…” Wade murmurs, filled with remorse at his rampage. He’d made you scared of him, which means it worked, but he regrets how much it hurt you. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“You’re not, huh?” Ellie, swiftly approaching, asks. “Pretty sure you already did, Deadpool.”

“I just wanted-” he starts, but Ellie, your avenging angel, cuts him off.

“You just wanted what, huh? To terrorize them more, is that it?

“Terrorize? I-”

“You what? Didn’t? Because as someone who sleeps in the same room as Y/N, I can confirm that you did. They cry in their sleep like they did the day it happened. Did you know that, that you made them cry? I guess you do now. So, leave, before I decide I’m going to follow you out the door and blow you to Hell.”

“E-Ellie, I said not to hurt him,” you quietly tell her, and she clenches her fists, grumbling.

“You did?” Wade asks.

“Of course,” you respond meekly, tapping the tips of your fingers together and avoiding the gaze of everyone around you. and Ellie places an arm around you, glaring at Wade without mercy.

“I’m- I’m so sorry, Y/N. I- I just didn’t know what to do, so much was happening. I was so angry at the situation, so scared for your safety, and I took all that aggression out on you, the one person I should’ve been channeling those feelings into protecting, and I- I know I already said it, but I’m a blabbermouth with nothing else to say, so… I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, kid. I know you probably don’t care, you just wanna start over and stay the hell away from me, but I’m sorry. And my door’s always open.”

“Thank you. I forgive you,” you nod, smiling a little, You’re already starting to feel better, more like yourself.

“You what?” Ellie questions, shaking with anger. “He hurt you. He shouldn’t ever be forgiven.”

“She’s right,” Wade agrees, head down.

“Well, it’s my forgiveness, and I can do whatever the hell I want with it,” you remind them, shrugging.

“There she is,” Wade says quietly, and you can somehow tell that he’s smiling. You don’t know if it’s body language, tone of voice, or what, but he’s smiling.

“I’m sorry for making you worry. I’m gonna keep living here, and I’m gonna keep taking better care of myself, so no one has to worry about me again,” you inform him.

“Wrong goal, but I appreciate the method. I don’t mind worrying about you, kid, but I’d rather worry about you not doing your homework than about the next time you’re gonna collapse on my porch, dead.”

“What?” Ellie wonders, and you groan. “Wait, have you died?”

“Goddammit, Wade,” you grumble. “She didn’t know that.”

“H-how?”

“Not important,” you tell her.

“No, it is, Y/N. You want all of us to get over the fact that you can die, but the truth is that you need to get over the fact that we care if you die,” Wade corrects you. There’s no malice in his tone, but the words themselves cause anxiety to slither out of the pit of your stomach like a snake and curl around your lungs and heart, maintining a tight grip.

“It’s because of you not eating or sleeping enough, isn’t it?” Ellie asks. “That’s what you guys were in that fight about the other morning, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you admit, and Ellie closes her eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath and trying to remain calm for your sake, for her own sake.

“Right,” she responds, sighing. “Well, I’m not letting that happen again.”

“Challenge accepted,” you chuckle, and she rolls her eyes.

“I was just on my way back to Photography. Forgot my camera. See you later.”

She makes her way in the direction of the classroom, disappearing around a corner.

“Man, if she didn’t hate me before, she sure does now,” Wade says, and you smile, shaking your head. “Really?” he asks.

“Photography is Mondays and Thursdays… And she didn’t even have her camera.”

Wade scoffs. “Well, she’s definitely taking good care of you. I always knew she would, one day. When did you two finally make it official? I’m sorry that I missed it.”

“We haven’t made anything official, Wade, she doesn’t like me like that. We’re just close friends.”

He rolls his eyes, going to playfully shove your shoulder, but you flinch away. He sighs.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I- I was so cruel, I just wanted to say whatever i could to get you away, to protect you, from m-”

“From what? The thing Logan keeps talking about?”

“What thing?” he asks, sounding a bit panicked.

“He keeps saying that there’s this thing he knows that he would’ve told me if he’d known before but he shouldn’t tell me now. It’s super weird, but he said you were going to tell me before you- You-” You stop yourself from continuing, still, shaking a little bit at the memory. It was only the day before yesterday.

“Yeah,” he responds quietly. “It was part of the reason I did that. I just- Us being friends was already dangerous, and you being- You- You’re- I- I’m so sorry I left you with her, if I’d known, if I’d known she was pregnant...I would’ve done the right thing! I’m not that kind of dirtbag, you’ve gotta believe me, and I’m just so, so sorry. Everything that’s wrong with your life, maybe it wouldn’t have happened if I’d just thought- If I’d just thought, but I was young, and stupid, and there’s nothing I can do now except own up to it, own up to the fact that I- I am- I’m- Oh, please…” He practically falls into you, wrapping his arms around your neck. You feel him shake with sobs, and you cry, too, but with a different emotion. Not regret, but happiness.

“You? You’re him?” you ask, and he readjusts himself, backing away from you.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked before hugging, I just didn’t think it was gonna be so hard, and you’re my best friend, and I- I don’t know, I don’t know. I’m so sorry that I’m your father.”

“You are? You’re sorry?” you ask, knowing that he’s apologizing because he regrets it, regrets you and your entire existence.

“Not in the way you’re thinking! You- You deserve so much better, I wanted so much better for you,” he reassures you, or, at least, attempts to.

“How do you even know?”

“I just… I talked to Xavier to see if he had any connections that could help me find your father, and he said he did, but he insisted that I give him a sample of my DNA to see if they match before he used his connections. I laughed it off, but then… it was a match.”

“How’d you get my DNA?” You wonder.

“Oh, I stuck a cotton swab in your mouth while you were sleeping. Wasn’t hard, you’re a really heavy sleeper,” he says, and you have a faint memory of the dream you had about a week ago where you were abducted by aliens that wanted to harvest your DNA to create genetically modified pet humans for their home planet. You laugh.

“So, you found out it was a match, and then… You were angry about it? Hated that the Wilson family legacy wasn’t going to end with you?”

“No. I was angry, yeah, but at myself. I was irresponsible, and my best friend in the whole world sufferred because of it. I never recognized your mom the times I’d seen her, and we had sex!”

“You had sex with my mom? Bro code violation alert!” you joke, and he chuckles bitterly.

“Right?” he responds. “But… I don’t even know where to go from here. Things can’t go back to normal, that’s not okay. I need to step up. And, even if it was the right thing to do, going back to normal… I get the feeling that you’re not gonna be that comfortable around me for a while. I was… I was just like my dad. My worst fucking fear.”

“You’re not him, okay? I promise.”

“I should be comforting you,” he says, stepping towards you. Out of renewed instinct, you step back. He’s heartbroken.

“Try- Try not to take it personally, I’m like this with just about everybody,” you attempt to make him feel better, but he shakes his head.

“You haven’t been like this with me, not before- Before I did what I did. Said those things, those awful, untrue things. Why did I say those things? They weren’t the truth, they were the opposite of it. I love hearing from you, it makes every day better. Finding you on my couch is a great feeling, knowing that someone as great as you trusts me, sees me as someone who can keep them safe.”

“And my memes?” You ask in a sarcastically accusatory tone.

“The funniest,” he replies. “Can I- Can I give you a hug?”

You nod, and he surges forward, wrapping you up in his arms and spinning you around.

“I always hoped it’d be like that,” you quietly admit, and he beams.

“Listen, we can talk later at dinner. I think you’ve got a certain girl you need to talk to, and she and her metal accomplice are approaching.”

“I think she’s his accomplice,” you correct with a laugh.

“Gotta bounce before the hardest guy on Earth ropes me into another mission. I’ll be back, though, kid.”

“Yeah. See you soon…”

“Wade’s fine for now, unless you wanna call me something else. We can negotiate later, ‘kay? Love you, bye.” Wade scurries down the hall, not realizing that he’s going towards the dorms, not the exit.

“Wade Wilson!” calls Piotr from behind you, and you turn around to see that Ellie is far closer to you than she is to Piotr, having gone faster on her smaller, lighter legs.

“Uh, hello…” you say dumbly.

“Based on your expression, I’d say that discussion went well.”

“Very well. Thank you for giving him the opportunity to talk to me alone, I’m sure you didn’t wanna do that.”

“I didn’t, but I figured it was the best option. Tell me more on the way to the dorm.”

“Well, uh… He apologized, a lot. Not just for the fights.”

“For letting you die?”

“No. Worse.”

“Holy shit, what’d he do, and why haven’t I heard about it?” She asks, tense.

“Because I didn’t know,” you reply defensively. “He’s- He’s my biological father, Ellie.”

“Whoa… Seriously? How long has he known?”

“I don’t know, but not long, the DNA tests were recently. He just wanted to help me find my dad and when he asked Xavier if he had any way of helping, the Professor said that he had to submit a sample to be tested. Turn’s out the old man’s hunch was right. You… You still wanna be friends, right?”

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I?” Ellie wonders.

“I just- I know you don’t like Wade very much, and I’m technically his daughter, so…”

“So? That doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore,” Ellie argues, and then covers her mouth.

“You love me?”

“Yeah, but just, like, in a friend way,” she plays it off rather smoothly, in her opinion, but you sigh in disappointment before you can stop yourself. “Wait, do you love me in a not-friend way?”

“Not really sure what you wanna hear,” you respond, feeling the recently-sealed cracks in your heart refracturing.

“Do you?” she asks.

You’re silent as the two of you walk to your shared dorm.

“Y/N, I asked you a question. Do you love me as a friend, or as more?”

You feel overheated and nauseous, that’s how nervous you are. You attempt to take some steadying breaths before answering: “More.”

“Oh, thank god…” she sighs. “I- I told you on Monday, when you fell asleep with me. But you were asleep, so, you didn’t hear me… Duh… I sound so stupid right now, don’t I?”

“No, not at all! Jeez, today just keeps getting better and better, I mean it!” You exclaim.

“Can- Can I kiss you?” Ellie asks nervously, and your eyes widen, but you nod. She takes your face in her hands and just goes for it, pressing her lips to yours. You respond immediately, wrapping your arms around her neck while her hands slip past your face and into your hair, tugging gently. You let out a small, quiet moan at that, and you can feel her smirk a little. She kisses you faster, pushing her body closer to yours, and your knees give out. She catches you in the nick of time, laughing a bit at how easily flustered you are as she nudges you toward the bed, sitting there with you. “Your knees are right, we probably shouldn’t rush into things.”

“Yeah…” you admit, resting your head on her shoulder.

“I love you…” She mumbles. “I’ve loved you for a long time, actually.”

“Same here. When did you know?”

Ellie replies: “It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“I can tell you first, if you want,” you offer.

“Yeah, do that…” She says.

“I just realized that every time I was upset, you were there, making me feel better. Even if you didn’t know it. Every time my mom hit me, or I got stabbed by an asshole mugger, or I was about to faint from hunger… You were right there. Making my life better just by existing.”

“I wish I could’ve been right there in person, to help you,” Ellie says, and you shake your head.

“That’s not the point. The point is that you did, without even trying. You always make me happy, without even trying.You just have to be there and everything is better.”

“That’s really nice… I feel dumb now,” Ellie confesses.

“It’s not dumb! Probably not, I mean…” you reply, nuzzling her chest a bit as you try to get a bit cozier.

“Um...You probably don’t know this, but I used to get in fights a lot before we met. And Piotr would always lecture me, telling me it wasn’t heroic to fight out of anger. That I should fight for something, not because of something. That I should be aware of the consequences that come with fighting, and truly think about them before I did. I never understood what he meant, and then we met and became friends… Then best friends…

“I didn’t even realize that before every fight, even the ones I was assigned, I’d think about how I was going to make the world a better place for you. I’d think about what you would think if you heard what I was doing. I- I made a mistake at one point, got angry over nothing and got into another stupid, pointless fight. It was the first time in awhile I’d heard Colossus’s spiel, and I realized my thinking process with every world he spoke. It all just made me think of how I feel about you. You’d made me a better person, more mindful of the consequences of my actions, my thoughtless, immature violence. That’s when I knew.”

“Oh, shut up! That’s way better than mine and not embarrassing at all! Show-off,” you remark, and she chuckles.

“That was fucking beautiful!” Wade wails from behind the door.

“I think I liked it better when you two weren’t friends,” Ellie comments, and you smile at her, shaking your head. She takes your hand in hers and squeezes gently.

“Oh, come on. You can’t hate him. I mean, I wouldn’t exist without him, for a few reasons. I mean, he’s the one who passed me the gene for a healing factor, even if his was recessive before. And, I mean, he’s the sperm donor either way.”

“I heard that!” he shouts, and Ellie smiles at you, planting another kiss on your lips.

You could get used to this.

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og-doubletrouble-kinnie · 5 years ago

Text

Double Trouble rambling after S3

I know nobody knows who I am despite being part of the franchise but-

Hi I'm Double Trouble and can yall BELIEVE that I was such a vital part of helping Adora and friends during the s3 events???

Mems are still fuzzy like they always are with DT but!!

Having become friends with Shadow Weaver made her imprisonment go a bit smoother...

Once I explained that I had been bugging her during my horde visits, she was imprisoned, I was actually SUPER worried when she dissapeared but HEY I found her in Adora's room :D so everything is okay!!! She's okay!! She can help us!!!!

(I lov my grandma dang it. And she will have to accept it. I have adopted her as my grandmother >:3333)

And GOD the wastes?! Adora PLEASE I knoe you need answers but g o d. You're still adjusting from how sheltered the horde was, you shouldnt be going there. Do NOT bug Huntara o h m y g o ddddd

Look I knew my way around there. I gave a quick rundown of the place. I TOLD Adora it was a bad idea but Noooo nobody EVER listens to DT when she KNOWS WHAT SHES TALKIN BOUT!!! I lived out there for awhile! Thats Why I even came in the first place!! I'm older than all of you just listen to me for five god damn seconds!!!!

God any time I wasnt with Adora and friends I was buggin Shadow weaver- Even when she was first captured, before Aunty let the others see her, I was allowed in cause I knew her better than like- anyone other than Adora. Pfft- I almost think Weaver saw that as a punishment... She taught me some magic though- And told me a bit about my uncle Micha- Since Mom never talked about him.

It was my idea to heal her- I was telling Adora a few things going on since she couldn't talk to Weaver herself... Mentioned she was "in.. Pretty bad shape- SheRa might be able to help..." And snuck her in. Sneaking into places IS my specialty, after all~

Tell off Aunt Angella and mom when they get mad about me letting Adora in. Like SORRY that the prisoner is fucking d y in g when she has information YOU need! Has information YOU wont tell me!!! She's useful! You cant let her die when we can so EASILY HEAL HER!!!! While helping Adora get a better hold of SheRa!!!

I think I saw Entrapta... Once- Before everyone got into the Horde... She- Hm... Our neutrality plan fell apart... So.. Caught up in Hordaks portal- I... She's happy at least... Leave her be I guess... I'll always love you Entrapta-

I don't remember enough about the portal happenings- Both leading up to it, and... What it caused- though I don't think I'll ever remember what happened while the portal was active- I wasn't around brightmoon during the time it jumped too- I was.. Probably still out doing whatever I did.

I was so paranoid I'd actually show up in those last two eps- I wouldve been so mad if I was part of the "perfect" thing that I wouldn't really exist-

Every time Scorpia smiles I get slapped with joy and depression- I wish I couldve fixed things with Scorpia.. We got along so well before my cover was torn to shreds-

#DT 👥#she ra kin #spop kin #shera spoilers #spop spoilers

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tragictm · 6 years ago

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The Future of This Blog

I've been rping on tumblr since around 2012, diving into the indie world in 2014 with my beth blog. It was a fun hobby for a long time, but by 2015 it had become more like a chore. Soon enough I made new blogs, moved every month or two and hoped like hell itd have that spark back. There were moments, people, that made my time here truly amazing. I'll talk about them later. For now, I have to look to myself and to the future.

Which brings me here. While I love my muses and I genuinely adore writing them, something on this blog isnt right. Not just this blog, but all of them. I'm burnt out on this site, its multiple issues not helping, and my constant need for external validation is only making this worse. You've all noticed it, begging for poll responses, asking if a character should be added and making the choice based only in how many votes each option gets. Everything on this site is governed by notes, by reactions, by the thought that what I post here is important or interesting to people. That's not why I was here, it's not why I wanted to write, and as long as it's there i dont know that i can continue to be here.

As 2019 draws near I have to make choices to better my life. In 2019 I'm giving up work to study and follow my dream, I'm giving up my home that I've lived in for my whole life to have a shot in a completely different city, a completely different world. And with that, I'm giving up this.

Writing is so important to me, I've grown as a person so much from doing this, I've made friends who mean the world to me, but this has also been so toxic. My deep and constant fear of duplicates - and yes that includes the ones I follow. My desire to be the best version of my muse, preferably the only version of my muse. I crave attention, crave the glory that I've somehow managed to believe comes from the number of people who follow me. It's stupid. Its toxic. It's made me act like a person I dont want to be.

I dont know when I'll come back. Ideally, I want to be more emotionally and mentally sound before coming here. I want to be less busy. I want to be able to have fun rather than cry because I cant decide what to do with a fucking tumblr blog.

I want to mention some people, talk about what they mean to me and how theyve shaped my experience. That's below the cut. But first: means of contact. I dont want to lose friends, but I cant promise tumblr will be a place I go ever again. For now I'll be on my personal @distortedrebel and probably on @greene-rph but come 2019 theres a chance I wont even be on those blogs. So, heres where to find me:

Facebook, snapchat, etc. are available if you message me, I'd message my personal or one of those accounts though because I wont be logged on to here.

@selfsaving - izzy, you alone have given me so much muse and such a strong feeling of being somewhere I belong. You've been amazing to me, from liking starter calls and interacting with a muse no one interacted with to inviting me to discord servers and being excited to write with me. I genuinely can't describe how great you've been to me.

@mrbisected - kate you've been amazing. You've followed me through so many blogs, even when I never knew who Kenny was. Honestly, I kind of dreaded watching Texas chainsaw at first. I really thought I'd hate it, especially for the first half hour or so. After watching I didnt care that much for Kenny, but the way you cared for him and the way you crafted him into a real person really inspired me and made me fall in love. I fell for nikki because she was hot, but with your help she became someone real and I never imagined giving up on her because of how it had felt having a muse I cared about so much.

@withumans - kacie idk if ur on this blog or using this alias but hey, you're amazing. I know we haven't necessarily been the closest, but you've been a really good friend. You've been through a lot and I know you relate to the need for validation here. You're still young, you're going to grow and change over the next few years more than you could ever believe. I love you, I believe in you, I know you'll get through this. I'm sorry I wasnt super invested in some of your muses, you very clearly love rain more than anything and I really struggled to interact with her, not because of who she is but because of how emily kinney was her fc originally. I know its dumb and petty and I hate that it continued into when shed stopped being the main fc. Rain is a brilliant oc, I genuinely love her and her story. Shes developed, she clearly means the world to you. Tumblr, and quite frankly everywhere else, doesnt care about ocs. They dont care about multis. That puts the two of us in a tricky position. Dont give up on rain, dont give up on ocs. Dont give up on things you're passionate about. You have it in you to do incredible things.

@valorfated - ellie weve talked less lately and I want to apologize for that. Weve had issues in the past, the most obvious being the way I acted with the rph in 2017(?). Theres an age gap between us and clearly a maturity gap there too. Looking back on the way I acted and responded and avoided responsibility is clear. I am sorry for that, I know you were going through rough times and it was rude of me to try to make things go my way simply because you werent there to stop me. Its something I've been working on and I'd like to think I've grown as a person since then. I do want to tell you that you're an amazing writer, and I really hope things are going better for you. Writing beth and Maggie was a really great experience, I loved the dynamic because I've never had much of a bond with my own sister. You helped me realize how sisterly bonds should be and because of that I've started to work towards mending my relationship with my sister and its changing my life. Thank you, good luck with everything..

@gavinsaleks - I saved you for last because this might get long. I'm gonna avoid the literal thousand word letter I usually give you on your birthdays because wow I write a lot, but you already know by now that you've changed my life. The ocs we made meant the world to me and really taught me about relationships and perspectives and what's right and wrong in relationships. You, though, you taught me more. You gave me the courage to come out, you gave me the strength to stay alive in times where I felt like that was impossible, you gave me happiness that i never thought possible. I watched you grow up and you watched me mature and everything changed after meeting you. I never wouldve lasted on this site without you, or in real life really. You're an incredible girl and I really hope that I gave you the same happiness you gave me because you deserve it all and so much more.

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simkjrs · 7 years ago

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msa ch5 asks (and others)

Anonymous said: AAA FROM 'MEET ME IN THE WOODS'- i know that lyrics!!!!! nice!!

*finger guns* nice!!

Anonymous said: -also thank you for existing you beautiful beautiful person! 😘

i think i might have accidentally deleted (or answered separately?) the first half of this ask but nonetheless thank you

Anonymous said: OK first thing: the chapter was awesome! amazing job! Second thing: the entire chapter was basically deku 'mildly' freaking out while being thoroughly pissed the entire time

it really and truly was. izuku as that one macro that’s like “this string is held up through pure stress alone”

Anonymous said: mr compress weeb confirmed

look at his custom made villain costume and tell me he isnt that kind of guy

Anonymous said: god. Msa!izuku is /fifteen fucking years old/ and he has to deal with /so much shit/. Can someone just put him to bed and let him nap for a year, maybe

yes! maybe not a year though.

Anonymous said: God bless the new chapter gutted me and the flipped me inside out showing my true form, that of a big fan. Thank you for the blessing that is MSA

this is such a gruesomely funny image. thank you

Anonymous said: hey just read msa for the around the 9th time. you ar e so good at writing, the way you write character interaction is incredible. you should be proud. this is literally the best thing ive ever read.

THATS SO MANY TIMES, IM ASTONISHED YOURE NOT SICK OF IT YET!!! i hate staring at my writing too long it starts feeling all faded out and boring!! im really happy to hear you like it so much!

Anonymous said: As soon as Izu/ku woke up on the table I started screeching simk. Not okay!!!

haha im so sorry!!!! but overhaul literally wouldve experimented on ai/zawa and he DID experiment on eri this is completely in character of him

Anonymous said: Overhaul/Skin Beast: hi yeah can I get a fucking uuuuuhhhhhhhh experiments/faces? Izuku: Experiment machine 🅱roke *flies away with eri*

completely accurate summary of the chapter

Anonymous said: every day I long to become the amount of salty msa izuku is

valid but every day i long for msa izuku to receive the love and support that he needs

Anonymous said: sweetie noooooooo

i have no idea what part of the chapter this is referring to but first of all, big mood, and second of all, valid

Anonymous said: hello you hurting because so am i!

i am hurting. while i was writing the chapter i kept looking at the screen like “i’m doing this? i’m really going to do this?” but overhaul is like that and i cant deny him the one salient characterization point he has

Anonymous said: UNICORN DAUGHTER HAS BEEN RESCUED THANK ITS GREAT

[my longest yeehaw ever]

Anonymous said: Since I might not get any sleep tonight because of flight plans and I might forget tomorrow and the next day, Happy thanksgiving! I'm thankful for your awesome stories~

Anonymous said: Happy Thanksgiving! I remembered!

happy thanksgiving!! im thankful that you enjoy my stories <3

Anonymous said: good job! i love it. and i’m crying. where did all this blood come from?

We Are All crying blood at this chapter

Anonymous said: Just read the new chapter and all I want to do is keysmash into your inbox. The chapter! Was so good! Izuku being sassy and angry and traumatized but still trying! And Eri! I'm so glad she's with Izuku now. Deku-niisan! I don't have words! And Rappa? Rappa! Also, that poem you linked is really neat. Grow up grow strong and focus your fury. Kind of feel like this is the theme for these two trauma children. Great work!

someone in the comments described izuku as “thoughtlessly kind” and i was VERY emotional over that because it’s such an excellent descriptor of the kind of person izuku is... he’s still trying, because that’s just who he is

deku-niisan to the rescue :^)

i’m really glad you enjoyed the chapter! thank you!

@zintiay submitted: Normally I get really annoyed when a character refuses to use an ability that would let them fairly easily deal with those around them. In this case though, you have done a really good job displaying why he doesn’t want to use this option, as well as what it takes for him to be willing to use it, that I mostly feel sad for deku that he was forced to let Eri’s spirit possess him, instead of getting caught up in the hype of an awesome moment

Honestly though, that’s also my reaction to the chapter as a whole. It was full of interesting world building and was generally an awesome chapter, but it was also well written enough that I also feel Izuku’s emotions and mostly just feel melancholy now.(Seriously, when I look back on it, “I invite you in” opened the gateway to an awesome and well deserved ass kicking, but it’s mostly just heart breaking. Why can’t I just enjoy Izuku kicking ass? Why?)

ahaha yeah, i try to have good reasons for why characters do or don’t take certain actions, and this whole fusion thing is something he keeps REALLY close to his chest... i’m glad that carried across well! it is very sad though that he feels cornered into using this ability.

thanks for reading!

Anonymous said: Just wanted to say thank you. I think this sounds weird, but you finishing up chapter 5 of msa actually helped motivate me and I managed to finish my essay for a class.

OH? i’m glad to hear that! congrats on finishing the essay!

Anonymous said: This chapter was so fucking perfect I'm crying diamonds. What in all heavens and hells are you, you godly creature? I am so bloody happy you exist in this world. In this time line. I love your stories so damn much!

thank you so much!! i’m really happy to hear this <3

Anonymous said: I love how just Done with everything msa Izu/ku is with everything. The fact that the only person he treats like a Person and not another threat to his Cryptid Status is Er/i and he just brings her home. I just. I LOV UR WRITING OK

it’s because eri pings None of his danger senses and All of his “i have to do something about this” senses. izuku is constitutionally incapable of helping someone in need.

and thank you!! i’m glad you like it!

Anonymous said: I hope you know that i was able to read about half a page before i fucking died laughing i lov msa de/ku so much

i try to serve my darkfic with a large side of comedy

Anonymous said: I have the vivid image of msa Deku running into Aizawa by accident and just slowly walking backwards before turning to the sky and yelling "I HAVE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY! I! DO NOT! HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT AS WELL!!!" while Aizawa slowly comes to the conclusion that he must adopt and save this troubled child.

this is hilariously close to some future scenarios i have in mind

Anonymous said: seeing a new chapter of msa honestly made my heart skip a beat in excitement. i have SO MANY questions and thoughts about this universe, i think i could ask you questions for hours, it sparks my imagination and curiosity in the best way. but for now, i just wanted to sincerely thank you for choosing to share your story and thoughts and ideas with all of us! it's always a delight, and i don't take it for granted at all. thank you, and i'm wishing you all the best always!!

thank you so much for this message!! it always makes me happy to know that others are enjoying this story as much as i am <3 i hope the best for you as well!

Anonymous said: What I expected in MSA ch.5: PAINPAINPAINPAINPAIN What I got: PAINPAINPAIN also Izuku adopts Eri, and Rappa for some reason (or did he adopt them!?!? DUNDUNDUN)

i cant publish a chapter without doing something a little fun, right?

also im laughing at the idea of izuku adopting rappa, a fully grown man, as opposed to the other way around. izuku would hate this concept if anyone ever said it to him.

Anonymous said: so is msa iz/uku's tragic backstory basically being a walking disaster for all of his life until the point where he would have, in canon, met all might, and the msa version of the all might/one for all is the Temple and the subsequent ShitStorm™?

nope! the temple is something else

Anonymous said: 💖💖💖💖💖💓💖💓💓💕💕💓💕💕💕💝💝💞💝💟💟💟💟💟💟💞💝💝💝💝💝💟💟💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘❤❤❤❤💙💚💚💚💛💙💚💜💚💛💚💜💙💜💚💟💞💗💞💟💟💜💚💛💚💘❤💘❤❤❤💞💟💝❤

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Anonymous said: i was stuck in a car for 3+ hours tonight but when i saw msa ch5 was up i was so excited, i spent the whole ride reading and re-reading it, it’s fantastic and you are too! <3

wow thats some dedication!! i hate reading in the car. thank you and im glad you liked it!!

Anonymous said: simk pls tell me we get roommate shananigans it would make my entire life. just a tired teen, a middle age man literally off the street, and their prepubescent daughter/little sister/niece/etc.

oh yes absolutely. this is a vital part of the au. don’t forget the cat

Anonymous said: hi hello i just want to say that your writing is amazing and gives me life and i get really really really excited every time you update. thanks for blessing us with such good fic <3

thank you so much!! i’m super glad to hear <3

Anonymous said: so izuku not only has eri but also the guy most likely to have been in kumite from bloodsport at his place. great job kiddo. (i mean that both genuinely and sarcastically)

izuku’s existence just naturally warps the reality he lives in into a circus show

Anonymous said: thanks to that one ask i can't stop laughing at the scenario of msa izu trying to get groceries and is seen by kiri / aizawa / tbh any hero. rappa and eri is with him and izu just stares at the heroes dead in the eye and leaves the place. he swears to never return there ever again

also hilariously close to some scenarios im contemplating

Anonymous said: DID MSA!DEKU EVER CATCH A BREAK ONCE IN HIS LIFE??? DID THAT EVER HAPPEN, SIMK. OVERHAUL IS UP THERE W ENDEAVOR I CANT BELIEVE U MANAGED TO MAKE ME HATE HIM THIS MUCH SNAKDNANFKW (btw? how much of a fucking RIOT would it be if the heroes did the exact same thing in canon, and when it came to the actual retrieving eri part theyd just find someone waving frantically "SHES ALREADY GONE, YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS"

overhaul is easily hatable if you just extrapolate from his canon actions. cant wait for him to get fucking clowned

i think it would be really funny but kind of depressing if the heroes did that. izuku please help them

Anonymous said: u really dont fuck around, do u, simk?? this is really a chapter that i just read i really saw him getting experimented on by overhaul for real??? I REALLY SAW HIM DISMISS IT AS IF IT WAS ANY OTHER DENIAL WEDNESDAY???? DID THAT BOY EVER CATCH ONE (1) BREAK IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE?? also DAMN! HE Really Fucking Did That HUH HE BUSTED HER OUT OMG.. CANT WAIT FOR THE SIBLING RELATIONSHIP FEELINGS THING :') (also how much of a fucking RIOT wld it be if the heroes busted eri out but (1/2)

but when they ARE actually at the 8ps hq they just?? dont find her??????and everyone there is like "SHES ALREADY GONE YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS." (2/2)

i really dont fuck around!! i hope!! i decide on a track and i stick to it!! as soon as i finished the first scene i knew that overhaul was going to Do That and i spent a few days agonizing over it and asking myself if i was really ready to go all the way with this. if i was really going to write it! i did write it. i am still occasionally in disbelief.

yes. sibling relationship all the fuckin way

Anonymous said: Is what happened at the temple the thing that made MSA Izuku give up on being a hero?

nah izuku giving up on being a hero is more just pessimism, cynicism, and paranoia trained into him by years and years of dealing with spirits and believing that he shouldn’t exist

Anonymous said: this is all really silly but uhh,,, isn't izuku loosing credits? has his mother been informed of his absences? does he have anyone who can help him catch up with the missed material? is our boy going to graduate?

i dont really know how credits work in japanese schools, or how the absences thing works... he’ll be fine though, pinky promise

Anonymous said: Eri pulls back and looks up at them curiously. “Deku?” They peer down at her. She’s so small! She’s so near! “You look different. You…” She reaches up, and they bend down obligingly. Her hand touches something attached to the skull above the eyes -- my horn, the kirin whispers. “You have a horn like me,” she says, full of wonder, and touches it again. THIS ENTIRE FUCKING PART GOT MY HEART BEATING SO FAST. I LOVE THEM!!!! ILOVE HOW ERIS SPIRIT IS NOT A TOTAL ASSHOLE TOO!!!

trauma kid solidarity!!!! i am so excited for these two you have no idea

i, too, love it when a spirit shows a basic modicum of decency and is NOT Like That to izuku

Anonymous said: "neptune" by sleeping at last gives me very kiri/msa!deku vibes

cool, i’ll check it out!

Anonymous said: Angry msa!izu/ku: acts like an alley cat, threatens to break a villain's dishes, talks a lot of bullshit, also kind of sad and depressed. Angry™ msa!izu/ku: frightens the hell out of everyone just by looking at them, makes everyone question their life choices, makes them feel small and insignificant and makes fun of said life choices, not exactly human.

yeah. i love msa izuku and his anger is Valid

Anonymous said: This chapter: Rappa: fight me MsaIzuku: no Rappa: fight me pls MsaIzuku: no Rappa: let me fight the people around you? MsaIzuku:....... Fine

this is a really great summary of that conversation

Anonymous said: Izuku's threat to throw all of M. Compress' dishes on the floor like that is the Worst thing you can do to someone made my entire day thank you

i’m really glad because this was the funniest threat i could think of besides “i’m going to break into your home and piss on your bed”

Anonymous said: HE'S JUST A KID SIM

you know i had to do it to ‘em picture

Anonymous said: Msa is just so so amazing!?!? I honestly love it so much. The way you write is so wonderful and it's practically doubled by the fact that the entire idea for the au is also wonderful. Izu is amazing and I love him. Thank you thank you thank you :')

aahhh im really happy you like it!! thank you for reading & supporting!!

Anonymous said: Rappa: "let me join you" ; msa!Izuku: "absolutely fucking not" ; Rappa: "I can be ur meat shield" ; msa!Izuku: *clenching and unclenching his fist, glaring up at the god he does not believe in as he leads Rappa and Eri to his home* "I fucking hate you"

izuku’s one weakness... trying to help others

Anonymous said: iirc, guardian spirits are bound to their respective charges by proximity but can still move around, but do they have to be close by when the quirk is used? Or will the quirk not be as effective?

nah, they don’t need to be nearby, one cool effect of being bound to a human is that the human has a store of the guardian spirit’s energy

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the game OFF? Played it recently and it gave me Msa!spirit world vibes. The use of man made substances making up the natural world (e.g drinking plastic not water) just really stuck with me as something bizarre and very second intonation like. Although if you do explore the spirit world I guess you might have something maybe more mythological in mind? (Also the soundtrack is stunningly eerie).

never played OFF but i love its aesthetic so much

Anonymous said: I'm gonna print msa out and it eat it. gochisousama

pfft itadakimasu

Anonymous said: Hahahah holy shit that new chapter dialed things up to, like, 22 instead of 11 holy shit izuku oh no. (“Achievement Unlocked: 5+ Levels Of Trauma Added At Once!” msa!izuku: can I get a, uuuuhhhhhhh, refund?) skin creature is super creepy and perfect fit. Btw, side thought - however the heroes find out abt this whole mess, I bet they feel really guilty (shit, izuku puts foot in mouth and accidentally says smth. Kiri: horrified izuku: makes it worse by trying to leave topic) thx I Love it. V good!

once i committed i had to go all the way...

the ensuing conversations between izuku and the heroes are probably going to be kind of funny, and also a little sad. im looking forward to it. thank you for reading!

Anonymous said: Okay, I'm just catching up on the recent chapters of msa and this is what I've been getting so far Everyone: you have to understand- Msa izuku, restrained: no

correct. msa izuku refuses to accept your terms

Anonymous said: Ahaha, geez, MSA chapter 5 was A M A Z I N G. Poor Izuku. Geez, the scene where he's tossed into his cell and just spends fifteen minutes crying and freaking out hurt so bad. And he remembered to (try and) call for help!!! Hopefully he tries again in the future, when it'll work (hopefully). I also got very excited by the Kirin!!! Like, holy smokes!!! Someone who actually doesn't want Izuku to suffer, and is willing to take steps to make that happen!! Yes good!! Plz timewalker protect this child

thanks carwash for being like the only friend izuku has

the relationship between izuku and the different spirits hanging around his house is probably going to be pretty fun. i know i’ve pulled a lot of bullshit in the past two chapters but i still have some new fuckery to introduce. i hope you are all excited for this

Anonymous said: would any other human be able to learn to speak in the second intonation in the msa au? Did msa deku learn the second intonation from someone, or is it just something he's always known?

1) good question! i haven’t decided yet. 2) he learned from someone else! who you will find out soon

Anonymous said: me: nobody has to get owned today. please, please put down the markers and step back msa izuku: Fuck oyu.

i totlaly forgot this was a thing but you know what? yeah. im laughing this is such a fitting quote

Anonymous said: you know by far one of the best aspects of msa izuku is just. He is a constant Power Move. and yet he would probs hate that. like this boy wants to be left alone and get some fuckin peace but in all his interactions whether he intends to or not he just fuckin busts a fuckin Move and its like holy shit holy fucking shit he did that.he did That. He doesnt want to do That he doesnt even realize its happening and thats why its a fuckin Power Move. Love this au i LOVE ur work and love ur storytelling

reminds me of @salvainterra‘s description of izuku: “izuku is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object and its through this paradoxical existence that hes reached the ultimate tier of not giving a fuck. good on him”

thats the secret behind it all!

Anonymous said: I love msa chapter five but I'm so worried about Izuku. He's a single teen parent of two now and he keeps missing school, how will he graduate and get in a position to follow his dreams of being alone and doing calligraphy if he misses so much of school that he doesn't get a diploma???

he will be ok!

hey im really laughing at this because youre really including rappa as one of the people izuku adopted?? is this a thing now??

Anonymous said: (in msa) I am so glad you had Izuku save Eri omg. that poor child has been through enough (but also, omg the suffering you're putting Izuku through (it's great, keep going)). I'm super keen to see where you take this!!

i know im really putting izuku through the paces. while i was writing the first half of ch5 i kept telling myself that this was all for eri’s sake but MAN that was dark

thank you! im excited to pull some more bullshit. im glad you’ve been enjoying the story so far!

Anonymous said: Me reading the new msa chapter: ‘a family can be a Kirin, a girl who can disintegrate people, a supernatural teenager, a street brawler and perpetual sadness’ seriously tho it was really great and I loved it!!!

MFLNDLFKSDJF AND PERPETUAL SADNESS IM LOSING IT!!!

don’t forget the mysterious shadow spirit who may or may not be a cat

i’m really glad you liked the chapter!!

Anonymous said: bc of allmights style i think of one for all's spirit just being a fucking american on the fourth of july with american flags everywhere and waving a minature flag threateningly and i cant stop thinking about it....

fortunately for us, that is incorrect

Anonymous said: "Okay I've finally caught up on the backlog of work I've got, let's check in on my favourite blog and writer SIMKJRS and see what they're up to recently." *sees that you updated like a week ago* aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

jflskdfj glad you’re excited for this!! i know i only update like once in a blue moon,

Anonymous said: hey i just want to say that i love everything about msa; the writing, the story, the imagery, ALL OF IT thank you for making such a wonderful gift!

thank you!! im grateful for your support <3

#ask #ask compilation #msa stuff #msa ch5 #feedback #thank you all for the support...#some really good gems in here

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acheybrain · 4 years ago

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again

im not sure whats wrong anymore. id finally came forward to my mom and sister that something was wrong a couple months ago but i cant tell if its getting worse or better. school has been very hard. im failing all my classes. i dont know how im going to get into college. im so scared. ive been so unmotivated to do anything. even if i start something, it takes me forever to get it done because i just cant pull myself to do it anymore. i think i might be giving up but i dont know. the other night my mom asked me if i was happy and i told her no. i think she might be worried im gonna kill myself like her friends son did. i dont think i will but ive been having a lot of bad thoughts lately. i think ive been feeling okay about myself but just school and the future has been killing me. i remember it was really bad the beginning of this year with school and its starting to feel like that but worse. i think im just more mentally exhausted then psychically. a while ago i was both and it was horrible. i think i really was going to go through with it earlier this year until the pandemic hit and we had to be homeschooled. i think it really saved me. im just drowning in school work and its so bad. i dont even know where to start. im going to fail this quarter and it feels terrible but i think im going to email my teachers to let them know that im not doing okay so they know im not just some other bum. maybe i am though. i dont even know anymore. this sucks. im glad i was able to come to my sister and mom with how ive been feeling. i think my mom has something wrong too but i dont think shed ever be able to accept it. Especially because she is religious. i wonder if she thinks its a sin to be sad or want to end my life. i worry about her too though. i think im more worried about what shed do to herself and how shes doing mentally than myself. sometimes i wonder if she passed these emotions down to me. i cant blame her for this though. she has even had thoughts about ending her life too. but that was when her life was very bad and i feel kinda selfish for feeling this way when nothing is really bad right now. she had it way worse. i remember she told that she was getting bullied really badly during school and someone had told her to kill herself and she told me “i wonder if those kids knew that i wanted to die?”. i think thats super scary to say to someone when theyre actually having those thoughts. its sad to know these things really happen. im glad shes still here though. she told me she doest know if im having these thoughts too and just wants me to know shes here for me and wants me to be able to talk to her more but im not really sure how. i dont know how to open up to her. its so sad. i want to so bad but i dont know how to put the words together. i told my sister too and right now, her boyfriend was going through the same thing. he almost gave up and its scary to know what wouldve happened if he went through. she told me i could stay at her place for a week to help me get away from my town and get out of the house for a bit. im excited to be able to go to the record store though. she asked me if ive ever thought about going to therapy and i told her i wasnt sure. my family talking about my mental health and ways to help it is so weird to me. i love that theyre okay and havent bashed me but its strange to me. they knew i was really sad before but i kinda ask myself why they never confronted me? maybe they did and i dont remember. i dont know if they told my dad what was wrong. i remember a while ago my sister told him that i was sad and he cried. i kinda forgot about that until now but he just feels bad that i feel this way. i have a lot more to say but i think im kinda rambling now so ill stop.

fri. oct. 30 1:10pm

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ts-akhmim · 4 years ago

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Episode 12 | “Beauty got problems and Brawn got problems”- Autumn

wow. just wow. i sure did just do that and im so proud. i proved to myself im a deserving winner tonight. i will fight to the death to get my allies to the end because lets be real i sure am not making it KJSDFLASFLA.

i was going to start this confessional out in a celebratory tone but YOU KNOW WHAT I STILL AM BECAUSE WE JUST DID THAT. I typically like to be my own biggest hater and drag myself in my confessionals a lot just as a way to clock myself and try to see the other perspective, but BITCH I KNOW I SNAPPED THIS ROUND AND IF YOU DONT THINK I DID LEMME HIT YOU WITH SOME FACTS; FACT: I CORRECTLY USED MY ADVANTAGE AND WON IMMUNITY DURING WHAT WAS A PERTINENT ROUND https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif FACT: UPON FINDING OUT I HAD IMMUNITY I KNOW DEVON WAS COMING TO ME TRYING TO KEEP ME UNDER HIS WING, OH YEAH ADAM, JUST VOTE IN THE MINORITY, AND GO ALONG WITH BEING AT THE BOTTOM, AND IT WAS M E DECIDING I DIDNT WANT TO DO THAT AND SPILLING THE TEA THAT LED TO GETTING AN OUTCOME I WANTED https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif FACT: it was ME who also went to autumn/ali and started planting seeds of doubt in their minds about jake and it's turning out it's helped me solidify my position with them better https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif FACT: It's also still me who's aligned with 2 or 3, if you include jake, of the biggest targets left in the game and i already have augusto and amir sliding in my pms trying to play pity me boo hoo hoo like gorl plea im not buying it but yall wanna keep singing kumbaya? well ill sing the encore and be twice as fake as yall (i DO love them both as people just as a disclaimer but from a game perspective? they're beasts!) https://media.tenor.com/images/6c2f88af1bd5a24853849df11a566947/tenor.gif ok, boasting over, time to hop off cloud nine and get back to reality because FACT: we all just made a big move, so the target on all of us, including myself, just went up, FACT: i could easily be delusional and maybe i had NOTHING to do with this blindside SJDFA but lemme bask in my fake glory anyway itll be funny to read after at least... FACT: The war has truly only just begun, that was a great victory but if me/ali/autumn are really in it like we're saying, we may still have another idol on our side, but we're gonna need more than that, it's kinda funny we're one brain, one brawn, one beauty and i think that speaks volumes i truly love these gals and think this is a good game route for me. some people might think it's foolish of me to align with the big threats and go deep with them, but who's to say im not worthy of being in their company? if it wasnt for my social connection with devon he wouldve never told me the plan, and then autumn is the smart one so she kept us composed and together, and then ali was the brawn he had the idol and got the job done. So im gonna just try and stick with this for now, hopefully they feel the same and dont try to oust me right away because then ill look like a whole fool and a half OOP, and ill plaster my fake smiles on for everyone else and kiki it up we can haha hehe all day long but i wont hesitate to vote them out because trust and believe.

Last Day 30 was my last day playing TS: Guyana, so this is a nice feeling to still be here. But now the fun kicks in. Jakey helped orchestrate the Devon blindside with the Ali idol, so I guess we're even. And now, assuming Jakey is still actually with me, which I think he is, I think we can run this game for the longrun. He has access to Ali, Autumn, and Adam and I have access to the three Beauties. I truly see this being beneficial for the both of us in terms of keeping one another safe and allowing us to get to the final six unharmed. Final six is important for me. I'm not sure if I've admitted this in an earlier confessional or not, but I have the Legacy Advantage (thank you Jordan Pines!) that I can use at six. So I just need to survive two more tribals. If I can do that, I have a seat in the final five, probably two more rounds to survive before getting to FTC, and then I have a shot. I really need to start building a resume if I want to win this game, but I think I have a chance. I really need to get Ali and Autumn out in these next three rounds. If I can do that, I see myself being able to make the end with the likes of Jakey, Kendall, Augusto, and maybe Adam (Amir will become a threat at five or six I think) and then I have at least a shot at the win, but I really need to keep my head down, keep the social game going, and make a move or two here.

so. i think i have some explaining to do JKLASDFA huh? i was on calls for the like three hours before tribal so i didn't really confess at all.. in fact i think in my last confessional i said that we were voting 4-3-3 which did not happen at all so i think i need to fill in some gaps huh? so... i have known since like 11pm EST yesterday that i was getting votes tonight. devon told, adam told me and then told autumn, but then autumn didn't want to tell me until later in the day which i honestly do think was fair so we weren't spiralling for hours. we were all sus of jake all day (and lowkey i still am?)... like i dont know when his energy because so shady, plus devon may have told adam that jake was in on the plan? plus he kept saying stuff like the vote has gone "back to kendall" and kept pushing me not to play the idol... something does not add up right with that. anyway so that demonic group of five voted for me, and lied SO much to make me leave with my idol? like why not just make me paranoid, leak the vote to adam or jake then vote autumn get me to waste an idol and then autumn leaves? now that would've been a good move hello?! but that group does not know how to blindside, idols have sabotaged their plans twice and amir/augusto should consider themselves lucky that they are still in the game. also kendall fought me at tribal because i was being cocky... but she literally tried to blindside me into leaving with an idol hello?! i appreciate that she thought she was going, but she is zero to too much way too quick. augusto can literally suck my ass our call was him and his bad excuse for jury management, like can he at least be like amir and pretend to want to work with me? anyway so moving forwards, i wanna vote out kendall or augusto this round. amir can stick around because he at least pretends to wanna work with me plus he is a threat too. idek i just want all the fake people in this tribe gone. i will not vote for adam, autumn or jake. i will vote for any of the others, im not fussed about the order in which i do so. im living on borrowed time in this game and im going to make it count

Sorry this is two parts I thought my friend was gonna die lol but she's fine. Remember kids, there's no dick worth dying over and a straight guy rejecting you is a blessing in disguise these days (considering the alternatives).

Now on with the show hahaha

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1-AkqQGDYzlccP1VFwpPNo-aCQPFmoj9Z https://drive.google.com/open?id=1bVcBqq0JL2-ybgTiS2vOrYURbCG0kIxh

youtube

thots on final 8: augusto: would cut me to win, literal love of my life, super kind and empathetic and genuinely good person, i think his social game is fire and i think he has a way with people, and downplays how smart and cutthroat he really is constantly, but i love the kid so much ali: the brit has to die ali again: okay im kidding i like him a lot but tbh hes a smart fucking guy, i think hes super cool and and also a badass with that idol play, hes a force but he has to go soon autumn: lana stan, coolest girl around, queen of the social game, queen of likability, queen of controlling rounds and letting others take the hit, a damn threat, she could win this game tj: sweetheart, we need each other in the game rn, i need need need to secure his loyalty adam: hes kinda crazy but he has a good heart, kinda just following ali and autumn rn, not gonna win in the end kendall: i have a soft spot for this crackhead, she deserves the world, probably cant win at the end but im happy i met her, shes on my side and a vote i can use moving forward jakey: love him to death would die 4 him, would beat me in the end and at immunities also the fact that kendall augusto and i are all still here is so fucking funny, like bitch how kejwnfkewjnfkejnwfkjnewkfnewk cockroaches

So numbers on surface Jakey - adam - autumn - Ali Kendall - Amir - Augusto - tj Round 5: Adam - Ali - autumn Amir - kendall - Augusto In the middle: jakey - tj So I just have to work on them

when i tell you ive been hooting and hollering what the fuck is going on in the survivor on this day, who the hell would've thought id win my third individual immunity in one season, gorl that is probably the most 2020 thing to happen in this game. although two of them pretty much were dumb luck afdjks either that or maybe im doing a little better than i think i truly dont know, and the touchy subjects clocked me on THAT as; what was it they said, 'the person they forget is in the game' and also 'least aware of their place' okay well yes im AWARE ive BEEN lost and asking for help this whole game gorl! But that's great, that's how i want people to view me, because uh... i just won 3 of these things now and that alone is reason to target me, granted im doing my best to play it up like dont worry! im just a dumb dumb! and clearly theyre eating that up like crazy, because it's both just the truth but also strategy if i keep playing it up, so watch out meryl, adam's in town! also LOVE that i knew i was gonna get most likely to have the idol i dont know how many times i have to say it IM INNOCENT AND BEING FRAMED FOR A FOOL and ooh dont even get me started on all the other tea it spilled, i actually got the LEAST of the bad things, i guess i kinda exposed myself because i made most of my chops at amir, augusto, and tj oop, so they probably didnt like that but they really left me no choice strategically, screw with me, i screw back, simple as that. As far as the vote too ummm.....it's been quiet tonight on my end so hope that doesnt make me a fool because this time last vote was a disaster, at this point im still thinking i need to stick with ali and autumn because this vote is so pertinent, after this a solid 4 can take it, or get as far as we can because im always keeping my options open OOP, but for the most part i do want to stay true to my good judys for now, but i know someone between amir/augusto/kendall has an idol and if they were smart theyd use it this round, so i need to convince the others of this because im sure its gonna happen since they dont think ali has one anymore hopefully but who knows, if it were up to me we'd vote augusto or tj this vote. I think amir has the idol and i think he's going to play it for himself this round or i could see augusto playing it for him, so if i can make anyone belive that very realistic scenario, we can get one of the ones theyd least expect just to ensure us the numbers for next round, but what do i know, they just forget im in the game anyway! so hopefully tomorrow someone tries to give me the tea and we get a plan together or else i spilled all the tea last round for nothing which is worst case scenerio

yesterday was a lot. I went an apology tour to everyone involved in my blindside and honestly it was annoying. the fact that augusto basically got me to apologise to him on our call when he blindsided me was irritating, like he just let me sit there and take fault when the point of the call was for him to take accountability. talking to him is like talking to 2018 me, he has such social ability, but he just takes zero accountability and is just so infuriatingly wishy-washy. he is all of my worst attributes as a player rolled into one. i also... almost won immunity? which is crazy, but I just found yesterday and the way immunity played out so frustrating, but I've spoken about it enough in my host chat enough. just know i feel robbed, slighted and if I get rocked out this round when i should have immunity. i will throw a fuss again SAJDKFLAS. anyway so this vote is gonna be a mess. tj and autumn now have a blood feud, Kendall and jake came to a head this round. so that's four people whose name i hopefully am not their number #1 target, plus i don't think adam is targetting me? but this vote is going to be a mess, because it very very easily could be 4-4, where there is an idol on both sides of the trench. i have a gut feeling amir and his sock puppets are going to vote autumn. it makes sense, tj wants her gone and the beauties need him reeled in. so i think im going to have to idol autumn, but that is risky because if the 4 vote jake... im going to rocks, and if they vote me, im reliant on jake going to rocks. but i just wanna send all these people backing, especially augusto. amir i'm trying to shake him that me and him have to stick together, but i also could vote for him. i literally just want to make F7 and to vote someone who just voted me out. that is literally all i want. if i go home i will be literally devastated

So like… there’s the dream and there’s the harsh reality which is something this round really talk me. The dream is obviously me winning, making all these big moves, and doing THAT. However, my reality? Could very well be that people don’t see me as a winner at all and it makes me a little disappointed but I gotta prove them all wrong. The vote last round being Ali was honestly mostly my doing and I’m proud of that. My ideal boot order is Autumn/Ali then Jakey then Autumn/Ali and that is GOING to happen because I’m putting that into the universe. When it comes to Autumn and Ali, I would rather Ali go but I think the safest bet while still having a target leave would be Autumn. In a way too, I do know Amir wants Ali out moreso alongside Jakey but I wanna separate my game from Amir so yeah. Also Adam calling me a fake ass bitch even tho my drunk ass was telling him I liked him was a gag… but oh well.. Nothing grinds my gears more than people thinking I’m not being genuine with how I feel towards them but if that’s what he thinks, maybe that’s what he’ll get idk… i feel petty and mad for some reason over it… BUT ANYWAY, I just want to survive this vote. I hope Kendall doesn’t go but she also said she wants me to win over Amir so yay?

If I die, I just wanna say I regret nothing and I have full confidence that the right person will win this season. So not TJ, Augusto, or Amir lmaaaaooo. Amir entering the two time winner chat??? Over my dead fucking body. If there's one thing Imma do it's poison a jury

Ali or Autumn... who shall we vote? Stay tuned!

Is Jess really Canadian... stay tuned!

god. today is gonna be another nailbiter and i want to confess first. so the plan is to idol autumn and vote out kendall, which sucks because i do now like kendall. i just think its the safest way of avoiding them playing an idol i guess, i don't even know. i just am sick of fighting in this game every single round me and autumn have had to fight to make it past. the fact jake is throwing a fit in my pms becuase im not idoling him is infuriating because... i'd love to idol myself? like? anyway im over it. if i go home, i hope tj can finally stop his blind fixation on autumn and i, that augusto can actually be accountable for one entire thing, amir can stop his pity party and show awareness for his threat level and that kendall... well actually kendall is fine. i just feel like im a mum trying to get all my kids to fit in a minivan and to put their seatbelts on, like can they get it together.

youtube

I don’t think anyone is ready for this round or at least what’ll come of it... I’m expecting an explosion or a mess given Jakey thinks he’s staying, TJ has been lied to, and hopefully Autumn or Adam leave next... its all a mess. If Jakey goes, I’m planning a 2-2-2 split between Autumn and Adam where we maybe get Autumn out but Adam leaving doesn’t hurt either.

me with biggest villian, biggest backstabber, thinks they are running the game, is running the game, and is gonna win at the end http://prntscr.com/ss4h5q

literally god demolished and brutalized worse than anyone in this game tonight in that touchy subjects yet I’m also the one comforting like half the tribe over their answers even tho I ADKWNWQJN WAS ATTACKT LIKE this cast literally thinks im a psychopath fjebwfjenkn but im not gonna play victim over my superlatives i just have to use this target on my back strategically

I want destruction AHHHHHHHHHHhhHhHhHhHhHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay so, they think me or Augusto have the idol, so they can vote kendall, to ensure our idol isn’t played and that me and Augusto and tj are forced into rocks, and im just like trying to get everyone to stop replying to ali cuz hes smart and he will psychoanalyze and figure out who to play the idol on and like he has to play it on autumn and not himself so pls pls pls kkjnkjenfs let this work

#BackWithVengeance

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fitnessexpert00-blog · 6 years ago

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How Kyle the Vegetarian Lost 27 Pounds and Started Crushing Pull-Ups

New Post has been published on https://fitnessqia.com/awesome/how-kyle-the-vegetarian-lost-27-pounds-and-started-crushing-pull-ups/

How Kyle the Vegetarian Lost 27 Pounds and Started Crushing Pull-Ups

It is true: you really can’t outrun your fork.

I maintained thinking about this- over and over- when speaking with Kyle, one of our Nerd Fitness Coaching clients.

You see, Kyle works for a non-profit that promotes bicycling as a major mode of transportation.

As part of strolling the walking- er, cycling the cycle- 10 years ago Kyle gave up driving a auto.

Instead, he gets around by biking, strolling, or public transportation.

Since Kyle motorcycles most days, you might believe all that riding would ensure he’d stay in shape.

However, you’re reading Nerd Fitness, which means you’re smart-alecky. So you know that people can’t outrun their fork…or out pedal their fork.

Like many others who struggle to lose weight, Kyle lived off pizza and other carb-heavy foods, which brought in a ton of extra calories.

Simply set, despite the crazy amount of exert he did every day, he still ingested more than he was able to pedal away.

As we know from study after study after study, it is very difficult to exert your route thin. This is why adjustments to nutrition are the key to a successful transformation.

Which is exactly what Kyle did!

I’m honored that Kyle is one of our 1-on-1 coaching clients, and that we were able to offer some tips-off on how to go about a vegetarian diet correctly, something many Rebels struggle with.

Switching up his diet is not the only accomplishment Kyle has attained: he is also now crushing pull-ups!

Which makes me really happy.

You don’t need to hear all about it from me though: let’s brought under Kyle!

HOW KYLE STOPPED TRYING TO OUTRUN HIS FORK AND LOST 27 POUNDS

Steve: Hi Kyle! Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me.

I’d love to hear from you about your past- Can you take us through a typical day before you started your journey with Nerd Fitness?

Kyle: My day would include an early morning to construct breakfast and get the kids ready for school. Then I’d ride my bicycle to the office. I’d work all day- stopping to purchase and feed pizza or a sandwich for lunch. After run, I’d ride my bicycle home. Evening day “wouldve been” expended hanging out with my kids until bedtime.

On days when I am traveling, substitute family time and school preparations with takes part in an airport or hotel. And I travel a lot.

Steve: Traveling are likely to be grueling, especially when being on the road takes you from your family.

I find it interesting you bike to and from work. But from talking to you, I know it wasn’t enough to prevent you from gaining weight.

Can you tell us a little bit about your fitness journey prior to finding Nerd Fitness ??

Kyle: For more than a decade, I’ve incorporated some physical activity and healthy eating into my daily routine :P TAGEND

I gave up driving a automobile as my primary mode of transportation about 10 years ago and rely on stroll, biking, and public transportation to get out.

I’ve been a vegetarian for more than 15 years.

And I’ve engaged in other extracurricular activities like indoor soccer, operating half marathons, or mountain biking.

I often thought that all this was enough to keep in shape without the need to adjust my diet or routine.

Steve: I hear ya- I can also see how it could be frustrating to do “all the right things” and not look the style you want to look for all that endeavor! You were already exerting, watching what you eat, and remained active.

What constructed you decides that something needed to change?

Kyle: Last year, my wife lost 60 lbs almost entirely by changing her diet.

In June, she and I had the opportunity to take a short vacation together without our kids.

We took a lot of photos during that journey and after looking at them- compared to her new, lighter, appear- I realise how much weight I had personally put on over the last couple of years.

Starting a new job, moving the family across the country, and adapting to a new hectic traveling schedule for run had left me 30 pounds heavier than any time previously in my life.

When we got back home, I started looking for local gyms and fitness programs that I could join, but none worked with my busy traveling schedule( severely, I travel a LOT) or weren’t convenient enough for me during the time I was home.

I didn’t want to give up the precious period with my wife and kids when I wasn’t traveling, so I began looking for alternative solutions and stumbled upon Nerd Fitness.

Steve: I’m so happy you induced your way to our strange corner of the internet. We’re very lucky to have you as part of the Nerd Fitness community, and we’re glad you chose us to kickstart your journey, brother!

You’ve been working with Coach Matt M ., what is he having you do?

Kyle: I asked Matt to design a workout that could be done either at my hometown gym or in any random hotel in the world with an unknown quantity of fitness equipment.

Because my surrounding was constantly changing, I required a workout program that worked anywhere and everywhere.

I also stressed that my past anxieties about going to a gym centered around not knowing what to do- how many reps of what exert, should I use the machines or not, is this too much weight or too little.

It was all only a bit dizzying.

Simply put, Matt provides a workout routine in three supersets that can be accomplished in about 60 minutes. Each exercise has one or more alternatives that can be performed depending on what equipment is available.

The supersets usually progress from core body routines, followed by heavy lifting, and concluding with lighter lifting that also engages a bit of cardio. The alternatives maintain me on pace when I don’t have barbells or other equipment while on the road.

Since I expend about 50% of my period traveling, having nationwide access to my trainer has been a game changer.

Training while on the road works in most cases, and there have been some scenarios where the alternative training exercises Matt were essential to staying on track.

Being a NF client constructed that both easy and possible.

I’m proud to say I haven’t missed a workout since we started working together.

This has helped with the confidence that no matter where I am, I won’t fault in achieving my aim.

The consistency is paying off. For the first time in my life, I’ve been able to rock pull-ups! I’m the strongest I’ve ever been.

Steve: That’s great! Although I’m super-biased( I have a coach-and-four who programs road workouts for me too ), I suppose NF Coaching is perfect for people who traveling a lot. When you think about it, you have worldwide accountability and expertise!

What’s been the most important change you’ve stimulated since starting this recent journey ??

Kyle: Eating.

Like I mentioned before, I’ve been a vegetarian for a long time, but often resorted to carb-heavy bread, a dizzying amount of melted cheese, and chips to fill in the thirst between salads and quinoa bowls.

Matt helped me track my eating and make adjustments that still worked with my dietary predilection.

Like the workouts, Matt also helped me design snack options for my busy traveling schedule- protein bars and shakes- so I wouldn’t be driven to a slice from Sbarro between flights.

Being a vegetarian, I spend most of my endeavour maintaining consistent different levels of protein intake. Since consuming protein comes along with either fat or carbs, balancing the amount each day was the biggest adjustment I attained.

As we progressed beyond what foods I like to eat that work within those parameters, we began incorporating carb loading on workout days, intermittent fasting when I’m not traveling, and small dinner plate utilization for portion control.

Steve: That’s astonishing! I’ve written before that a common mistake vegetarians build is simply living off bread and pasta. I’m really happy that Matt was able to take an objective opinion of your diet and attain some suggestions.

What’s a typical day for you like now? Workouts, diet strategy, and so on. Devote us the details!

Kyle: On workout days, I’m normally at the gym by 5am. It’s early- but it simply works for me to get the workout in first thing in the morning before my kids are awake or I go to work. The gym isn’t usually too busy then either.

After my workout, I skip breakfast and motorcycle to my job. I’ll drink coffee and water all morning during run and usually have a light lunch around noon.

My recent go-to is a plate of raw veggies with hummus and hot sauce. A couple of hours after that I have a protein shake as an afternoon snack. Then I’ll bike home from work and begin cooking dinner for the family. This is usually my biggest meal of the day. Often it includes eggs.

We’ve also been experimenting with using cauliflower in all its forms. Since my wife is continuing the diet plan that helped her lose 60 lbs, it’s really easy to keep on track by feeing together.

Steve: It sounds like you have a solid routine: you’re very active and prioritizing nutritious snacks. Great job dude!

Besides your routine, what else has changed about you?

Kyle: I’m definitely able to wear clothes I couldn’t have worn a year ago. Now that I’m smaller and weigh less, trying on clothes genuinely makes me aware of how heavy I had gotten.

There’s also a pleasure in sharing this transformative moment with my wife.

We are both working on our selves side by side, and it adds a level of support that I find really helpful when all I want to do is eat an entire cheese pizza, lol.

Steve: I love that you guys are supporting each other- and I can’t wait to see where you are a year from now!

Do you have any words of advice for somebody who just starting out on a weight loss journey? What if they’re considering a change, but not sure this is right to start?

Kyle: Coach Matt helped me realise a person doesn’t have to make all the drastic changes overnight.

To anybody starting out, going one step at a time is easier than trying too much, too fast!

Even though I was prepared for a bigger shock, Matt’s coaching eased me into new routines and merely after I demonstrated a commitment to those did he offer something new.

And honestly, that’s been really helpful when it comes to eating.

Also, if you travel, a remote coach-and-four you can access from anywhere is awesome! It turned out to be exactly what I needed.

Steve: Traveling can be tough to maintain healthy habits, so I’m glad you saw a solution that works for you.

Okay, I’ve got to ask: where do you plant your nerddom flag?

Kyle: I’m all in for Star Wars( and a minor participant in most other fandoms ).

The family and I attend cons on a regular basis and are trying our hand at cosplay for the first time this year!

I’ve also got a huge vintage Star Wars action figure collection that my kids and I add to regularly.

Steve: A Star Wars collecting you let your kids even look at? Dad of the year … Some fathers won’t even let their kids in the same room as their collectibles.

Where do you go from here Kyle? What objectives and habits are you still working on?

Kyle: We’re definitely working to lose a few more pounds, which would bring me down 30 lbs! We’re tackling this mostly through the addition of interval cardio training and small diet modifications.

Additionally, we’re working to reach some interesting physical fitness goals.

I’ve never been able to do a pull-up, but now I’m doing two each workout( and working towards more ).

I’m not sure what we’re working on next, but I’m looking forward to the next steps at getting there.

Steve: YES! Welcome to the “I love pull-ups and want to tell the world” club. It’s the best club.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story with us Kyle! Best of luck to you and the family!

THE 5 KEYS TO KYLE’S WEIGHT LOSS AND LEVEL UP SUCCESS

In speaking with Kyle, I realized he had a few key traits that helped him succeed where many others fail.

Lots of people try to get in shape.

Many of them have a lot of the same obstacles to overcome as Kyle:

A crazy travel schedule. Responsibilities as a new daddy. A diet too dependent on carb-heavy foods.

What’s special about Kyle is not the challenges he had to face. We all have unique barriers in our lives.

What’s special about Kyle is how he went about systematically overcoming such barriers.

In speaking with him, and analyzing his choices and decisions, I think there are five traits that set Kyle apart.

Here’s what we can learn from Kyle’s success :P TAGEND

# 1 KYLE KNEW WHEN TO ASK FOR HELP

There’s nothing quite like a spouse or partner or friend who is crushing it to motivate you to stimulate some changes.

Kyle’s wife decided to get in shape after having their two kids- she created a plan, stuck to it, and lost 60 pounds.

When checking out photos from a recent vacation, Kyle knew his wife was on the right track.

He, however, was not.

But he didn’t know what to do: he was already feeing the style he thought he should, he was biking every day, and staying very active. The outcomes just didn’t match the effort.

And he was also stuck due to his work schedule: Traveling made any kind of fixed routine impossible. What does one even eat at an airport that isn’t pizza?

Kyle knew things had to change, so he decided to ask for help from a professional. A professional that spoke his language: a dad that loved Star Wars.

That extra pair of eyes from Coach Matt- a father of 2( and huge nerd ), which permitted Kyle to see things in a whole new way.

Asking for help was a great first step, and then he did something many people forget: he actually LISTENED!

# 2 KYLE LEARNED YOU CAN’T PEDAL YOUR WAY THIN

When people want to get in shape, they often think that hours of cardio is the answer.

They’ll start a go routine, or buy a treadmill, or even start biking to work.

While exercise and movement are critical for heart health and overall happiness, we here at Nerd Fitness know “You can’t outrun your fork .~ ATAGEND”

I think it’s super awesome that Kyle works to advocate cycling as a major mode of transportation. More motorcycles on the road and fewer cars is great for everybody involved- including the planet.

However, Kyle learned a valuable lesson: biking miles a day, in of itself, is often not enough to get in shape- unless it’s be included with changes to nutrition too.

We highlight over and over here at Nerd Fitness that 80% -9 0% of the weight-loss equation comes down to a proper diet .~ ATAGEND After gaining 30 pounds as a new daddy, despite pedaling his motorcycle every single day, Kyle knew something had to give.

He lost weight- though I believe maybe 1 of those pounds might be from trimming his beard! Ha

# 3 KYLE ADJUSTED HIS PLANT-BASED DIET

While Kyle expended a lot of calories riding his bike everywhere, it wasn’t enough to overcome all the calories he was feeing in bread and pasta.

Kyle tried whenever possible to feed healthy vegetarian dishes like salads and quinoa bowls, but they never fulfilled his thirst This led to him eating bread along with “a dizzying sum of cheese” to hold him over until his next meal.

So although weight loss come down to calories in and calories out, the quality of the food can really impact how easy or tough it is to stay within your calorie goal for the working day.

It took an outside pair of eyes, from Coach Matt, to point this out to Kyle.

Now, Kyle prioritizes a healthy plant-based diet.

He skips breakfast and snacks on veggies and hummus and a protein shake during the day. His big main meal at night will often include eggs, a great protein source for those on a vegetarian diet.

The fiber from the plants and the protein from the eggs help keep Kyle full from dinner to meal. So he can motorcycle around town and not be seduced by the pizza joints on every corner.

# 4 KYLE MADE THE ROAD WORK FOR HIM

Traveling can build get in shape challenging.

Your normal routine is thrown out the window.

Instead of cooking your own snacks in your kitchen, your dependent on eateries. Instead of having access to your normal fitness facility, you get the rundown treadmill the hotel keeps so they can say they have a gym.

Here’s the thing though: you don’t require a gym to train. You can work out in a nearby park, find an empty playground, or even only do bodyweight exercisings in your hotel room.

The important phase is consistency. To not lose momentum on the days you’re away from your home.

With Matt’s help, Kyle developed a plan on workouts to do from anywhere.

If he’s at home?

Perfect, he’s off early to the gym to crush his training.

If he’s traveling?

No problem, Matt constructed workouts that don’t require any equipment whatsoever.

No momentum is lost.

If you live on the road, don’t let it become an excuse to not train. If half your days are spent in hotels, that’s plenty of time to continue growing stronger.

Make exercise your one constant when living out of luggage.

# 5 KYLE HAS A SUPPORT NETWORK

I’m so happy that Kyle’s wife is also on her own journey, going about things her own route. They’re also supporting the heck out of each other!

This entails it’s two heads in the kitchen instead of just one.

When Kyle has to wake up early to make the gym, his wife understands( and vice versa !).

They both want to prioritize their health, for their own future and the future of their children. Having person in the house whose on the same fitness journey is a godsend.

Plus, it’s not the only subsistence Kyle has.

His coach, Matt, also has his back. This non-judgemental extra pair of eyes proved critical.

Matt helped Kyle watch, with a little bit of adjustment, his vegetarian diet could be a tool for weight loss. Matt helped Kyle create a plan for the gym, so he was able to get in, know exactly what to do, and get out.

Matt adjusts Kyle’s workout on the fly depending on his traveling schedule for the upcoming month. Every day, Kyle wakes up, looks at the NF App, and knows exactly what he needs to do.

The lesson: if you can, find a fellow Jedi or a Jedi Master!

Maybe your spouse has expressed interest in getting in shape.

Maybe you have a brother or sister or roomate who wants to start strength develop, and you two can share your progress with each other.

Maybe you have a coworker who also wants to go for strolls at lunch with you.

Or perhaps you are able to hire expert guidance, like a coach-and-four, to help attain schemes and recommendations for you to hit your goals.

A companion can be a lifesaver for when things get difficult, so team up- even if it’s just for accountability!

WHAT SMALL CHANGES CAN YOU MAKE, LIKE KYLE, TO LEVEL UP YOUR LIFE?

The great thing about Kyle’s transformation, is he is still Kyle!

Kyle still takes his motorcycle to run every day.

Kyle still follows a vegetarian diet.

And Kyle still shares his love of Star Wars with his kids, because kids should know about Star Wars.

Sometimes, you don’t need to do a complete life overhaul to level up your life.

Sometimes, an outside pair of eyes can point out some key changes you could attain, to help you reach your goals.

No matter where you are on your fitness journey, I would encourage you to think about what constructed Kyle successful :P TAGEND

It’s okay to ask for help. You don’t know what you don’t know. Asking an expert to take an objective its consideration of their own lives can be vastly valuable. You can’t peddle your way thin. I wish getting in shape was as simple as biking to run. While it is a great lifestyle habit, diet will still be 80 -9 0% of your success. Be careful with a vegetarian diet. Vegetarian or not, you still need to know what you’re eating! A salad and quinoa bowl can be vegetarian, but so can pizza and donuts. You can perfectly do a vegetarian or vegan diet incorrectly. So, don’t do that! Don’t lose momentum on the road. Staying fit while traveling can be tough. However, if you make a plan, it’s an impediment that can be overcome. Don’t make this journey alone. If your spouse wants to get in shape with you, great! Take them up on it! If this isn’t an option, a coach-and-four can also be a great accountability partner.

If you related to Kyle’s story, apparently doing the right things without making any progress, think about what you can do differently.

Start by testing your hypothesis:

Maybe running on a treadmill for an hour isn’t enough to burn the calories from all that pizza at lunch.

Maybe a vegetarian diet should include veggies.

Maybe pull-ups are the best. I know Christina, another coaching success narrative, concurs!

As we learned from Kyle, an outside pair of eyes can be really useful for analyzing your routine. Sometimes it’s hard to look at ourselves objectionably.

Depending on your current situation, our 1-on-1 NF Coaching Program might be only the extra pair of eyes you need! Person who can learn their own lives, understand your individual obstacles, and make a plan for success!

Want to learn more? Go ahead and click on the box below and schedule a bellow with our squad!

No matter what you do, here’s what I want you to take away from Kyle’s story :P TAGEND

Diet is everything. You can still gain weight even if you bike to and from work. If you aren’t inducing the progress you’re after, look into a different nutrition strategy. Make-up small changes, but make changes. Are you frustrated that what your doing isn’t working? Try something else this time!

In a year and a half, by be concentrated on the above two points, Kyle get within 3 pounds of his goal weight( 27 pounds down at the time of this writing ).

If you started be concentrated on your diet with small sustainable changes, I promise you in 18 months, you’ll be closer to your goal than you are today.

The important thing?

Start!

Not tomorrow. Not next week.

Today!

-Steve

PS: I want to give a special shout out to Coach Matt, who the non-judgemental pair of eyes Kyle needed to level up their own lives.

If you are somebody that wants to have your own Yoda guiding you in the ways of the Force, check out or 1-on-1 coaching program, and I could be sharing YOUR story this time next year!

PPS: Speaking of success stories…If you’ve had success with any aspect of Nerd Fitness, whether it’s our free workouts, Academy, or Coaching, email us! Send your story to contact( at) NerdFitness( dot) com and let us know so we can share your escapade with the galaxy!

Read more: nerdfitness.com

#general #success stories

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jess-oh · 6 years ago

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Reflection

hey journal,

i have a lot on my mind and my heart and i think i need to pray about it but i also think im too afraid to give it up to God bc I know in my heart what I need to do and I don’t want to face the truth. I would much rather block out the sound with things of the world and drown my sorrows away.

But yesterday, not last night, but the night prior, I had a dream where I apologized to James in person and we had a heartfelt conversation. And while we didnt make up, it felt like the beginning of forgiveness. I assumed he would just brush it off and say, “oh. thanks but it’s fine,” or something along the lines of that but he didnt. he confessed that he was really hurt by the mean things that i had previously said to him and i repeatedly apologized and expressed my deep sorrow and regret towards him. and it felt really great. but in reality, i am so so so so so scared. not even scared. i am absolutely terrified to actually pick up the courage to do it. i thought i was hyping myself up to do it pretty well for this sunday but i just recently realized that sarah chong’s bday party is on saturday and i could easily just not go and use my ASO meeting as an excuse bc i feel like he would be there. and the thought of having to tell him on saturday left me petrified. i just. i cant. i cant. i cant i cant i cant. i am so afraid. and i know this is something that i need to do or else i will always be beating myself over it and wondering what wouldve happened if just said something and i know that i need to do it but God, I am so scared. God, please oh please provide me with the faith and strength to do so. To be real and genuine and communicate my deepest regret towards bc I really was such an awful person and i feel awful about it. But it’s something that I know I just need to do. I already told Judy to help keep me accountable and I think that she will but I just. Sigh. I am so worried and concerned and scared. I feel so scared. Scared that I’ll be judged? Brushed off? Laughed at? I honestly don’t know but I do know that I am scared.

The first couple weeks that I was here were pretty awkward and weird and I think bc I was still so afraid of how my life would be like here. I was afraid that Katie and Loren would just keep to themselves again and I would be lumped with Ryan. I was afraid that after everything that happened, things would just go back to the way they were before. And because of that, I felt really bitter for having returned at all and unintentionally took it out on my loved ones. I couldn’t have a good time with Andrew, David, or Sofia for my first few nights here, no matter how hard I tried. My heart just wasnt in it and I wasnt up for putting on a pretty face and acting like I’m my typical happy-go-lucky self when I’m not. I was just so bitter and tired and didn’t have the mental energy to do anything. On Sunday, people I thought were my somewhat friends would see me and not even say, “hi.” And thinking back on it, I’m wondering if they were waiting for me to make the first move before talking to me and think I’m the cool one in this situation? Regardless, I felt nervous and scared enough already as is and them just totally ignoring me just made me feel even worse. I don’t want to see those people again bc I know how scared and miserable I feel. But I also can’t just give up on them and Sa-Rang without trying first. A lot of good has come from that place for me and I really am beyond grateful. And I owe it to God, them, and myself to at least put in the effort to try and make things work before just giving up and moving away. I would feel too much like a coward then and I already spent so much of my life living in that kinda style. I don’t want to keep running away. I want to face things head on.

While I’ve been home, I’ve been forced to get up close and personal with all my past fears, worries, and insecurities. There are good things about being home but there are also bad parts too and yes, I have been reminded of those bad parts during my stay. But that’s not a bad thing. It’s just an opportunity for me to face those parts head on and finally confront, overcome, and grow from them. I won’t let them drag me down but I will acknowledge that they were a part of who I was and still am. And I am growing but how will anyone ever know that if I’m always too afraid to show that side of myself? I just need to be bold and do it! Just do it Jessica! Just do it!

Yesterday, I had a really good conversation with both my sister and Katie during different times of the day. My sister in the morning and Katie at night. I shared my dream with my sister and my fears and she told me that I should just tell me bc if he doesnt take it well then thats on him. But if I never say anything, I’ll spend my life beating myself up over it, wondering what would have happened if I did. And she was right. And I know that this is just something that I have to do.

This is just a quick sidenote before I get back into and talk about my conversation last night with Katie but, I just spent some time with Loren and Ryan ordering pizzas for dinner and it really helped me to calm down just to talk and be with them and I’m feeling a lot better and more at peace now. I’m really grateful for them. A couple days ago, I realized that we all treat Ryan pretty poorly and he always gets the short end of the stick and I felt pretty bad. And I know that I’ve been pretty desperate to win Katie’s affection bc I really look up to her. She’s usually calm, mature, super talented artistically, has a good sense of style, and overall seems like an older version of me. Maybe not in a year but in the future and I’ve always looked up to her. And I think bc she doesnt always get along with Ryan, I didn’t want to either and followed suit. But no one has really given him the time of day recently and it’s just been constant teasing from one to the next and I felt pretty bad so last night when we all went out to Huntington Beach, I didn’t want to care about what Loren and Katie thought or saw. I was going to make an effort with Ryan. And we all ended up getting along really well and I think that’s been one of the most memorable nights of the trip. And when I later confessed these feelings to Katie during our talk(wow transition!), she was really touched at how much I cared for him and how sweet my heart was. I shared about how miserable I felt in high school and my feelings of needing to escape and how being back at home has made me confront those fears head on and she shared about her experience and her relationship with her parents and how she felt that there was a condition to her parent’s love. Like unless she acted better than Ryan, they wouldnt love her just as they dont love him and she was so afraid of that. And I was crying but not in a bad way. More like the waterworks just naturally flowed out of my eyes but it felt really good to finally share how I’ve felt for so long. About my admiration and fears and worries and concerns and just being able to get them out in the open and for her to be so willing to listen and understand meant so much to me. I definitely want to take a picture of them both and write them both heartfelt letters before they leave back home. One for their mom too! I didn’t think I would get along with her so well on this trip but bc we’re both so blunt and upfront about everything, we actually get along super well!

I’ve been feeling pretty sick the past few days so that’s sucked but even though the beginning of this trip was a little bit rocky with constant teasing, I’m really glad that we’re able to have these heart to heart moments with each other. Even earlier, when I just played a few card games with Ryan or when I sided with him and called Katie and uncultured swine, it felt so great! He was so shocked and proud of me and we high fived at dinner and it was amazing! And I really am so glad for this opportunity. For them to be here and for us to spend some quality time with them. I am so gracious and joyous. Thank you so much for this time together God. Thank you.

Amen.

#reflection

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survivorcordillerablanca · 7 years ago

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Episode 5 Confessionals

aw man i was looking forward to playing with adam

im starting an alliance to get out jordan pines

Wow so a lot has happened. First and most importantly, I HAVE AN IMMUNITY IDOL???? LIKE WHOEVER AT ULTA IS MY GUARDIAN ANGEL AND DECIDED TO GIVE THAT TO ME I LITERALLY OWE MY ENTIRE LIFE TO THEM. Maybe they thought I was in danger since I wasn't at the immunity challenge? I don't know what it was but damn and I glad they're looking out for me. Jordan Pines told me that Jay is a little weary of trusting me which is like ????? i've never given him any reason not to trust me but w/ever. I lowkey think Jordan may have said the same thing to Jay about me so that he has both of us not trusting the other and only trusting him: i see you Jordan Pines!!! Also my tribe is dunb because I need to sleep soon but mone of them are talking to me in the tribe chat so it's their fault I only have 4 songs for this challenge katiecan’t believe we won when ya’ll were all struggling to figure out what songs were in that sdhljshdsd

Get shook because Jay is in a good position early for the first time in 3 seasons! Everyone on this tribe thinks I'm their best friend and I love it. The plan going forward is to work with Jordan if we lose, or if we win and swap; get Katie, Charlotte, Carson, or Zach to work with me. If we lose, I'm gonna target Ryan. I think I have a better bond with Lexi than both Jordan and Luke. So maybe I'll be able to be Lexi's lifeline after that. If for some reason we don't swap and we lose again, I'll take my shot at Pines. But that seems unlikely. Winning twice seems mostly out of the question, but I think I'm in this game for the long haul. At least I hope I am.

we keep losing. Why? I don't usually lose challenges so its very weird for me to..... lose. It's getting harder each round too, like i had no intentions of voting adam off anywhere near this early but we had to. and if we lose again.... oh boy, not gonna be fun.

Wish a host would tell me: Congratulations! You did not earn a task but you did earn an Idol Clue! The Ulta Idol is located along the river on the bottom of the map. With this clue you have earned an additional guess this round!. Instead of: Congratulations! You found a Hidden Immunity Idol! However....you found the Copa idol. You have 1 hour to decide which member of the Copa Tribe gets this idol! DSFDSFHDSJFH! But anyways now that I know that its along the river on the bottom of the map I can have a better show I guess. I think we might lose this immunity due to us not being able to be on at the same time. So... YIKES

Okay so I just was informed that I received the wishing well task! My task wasn't super bad, and I told Carson/Charlotte about it. Was that a mistake? Yes. Charlotte and I are not on best terms right now, which i'll explain in a bit. I completed the task and got the Golden Rope. I think it may be really good, and i'm excited to use it in merge phase if I make it that far. If I get eliminated, i'll likely give it to Carson. I'm hoping we win immunity again though AJSDGK The reason why Char and I aren't on good terms is because I totally flipped on our alliance and voted her out in Kuang Si (a main season) and I feel shitty but ASJDGK anyway wee woo im stressed

i kinda shock myself with how fake i can be wow. like i stayed on call for 2 hours and 3 mins for that fucking guess who challenge talking to bryce charlotte and occasionally rtp i was just like..

like i just didnt wanna be yelled at for hanging up! but we did that, and i feel like i have a PRETTY decent game rn and going to tribal would fuck it up, so ill try working my connections

im pretty sure charlotte wants zach out?? like how petty do you need to be to get so mad that u want someone out in other games bc they voted u out to further their games. like?? whatevs, her problem. zachs definitiely my closest ally and i trust him. im rlly happy he got the golden rope even though im still bitter i didnt get my reward :) also at the wishing well i got an idol clue where apparently the idol is on the bottom river which whew!! im excited. hopefully i can get the idol at least.. really hope ulta can ride this momentum to the end. OH AND ALSO BRYCE GAVE THE COPA IDOL TOL UKE BC EVERYONE WAS FIGHTING FOR LUKE TO GET IT IN OUR ALLIANCE CHAT like i dont hate luke and i wouldve preferred for jay to get it but idc.

i feel good about this immunity challenge!

okay so we lost. we didn't even take 5 minutes out of our day to think about the challenge. we're kind of a lazy tribe just tryna have a good time. lexi didn't show up and luke had to go to bed waiting for her. but... it's not her fault we never set a time. but tbh she didn't even show up until after deadline. jay and jordan said luke's name on call with me when we finished the challenge. we seemed to have a fun time on the call so maybe their telling the truth. we do have our 4 person alliance with lexi so maybe that will save us.... also where this idol @ sis

this vote is gonna be between lexi and luke and honestly some how i hope i go home. pull the trigger

Thank god, we had won. Otherwise I think I would have been going home. Bad luck comes in threes, right

Wow so we won again.. Iconic!! So hoping we don't swap any time soon basicallly. Not doing much strategic gameplay other than staying social with my 4 and still talking to those outside of it. Us not going to tribal kind of makes my strategic options stagnant or at least they do to me lol

Okay so I'm pretty obsessed with ulta. I like that everyone for the most part is around and participating in chats and challenges. We all seem to gel really well. So far I think I'm the closest with Katie. We've bonded over how challenging these games are for old people like us with full time jobs. We're thinking of recruiting charlotte for an official 3 old people alliance. Then she can pick a 4th. If I had my way, our 4th would be Carson because I'm also pretty close with him and chat with him a lot. Okay I'll post another one of these later tonight

WE WON IMMUNITY! I'm so happy just because i've been stressing not only about this game, or any other game, but life itself. It's a BLEH. But to be immune for tonight, and knowing that an upcoming swap is likely, is kind of great. I'm hoping if so, the swap ends up in my favour. Nonetheless, I am going to try to use that time (or, if no swap, the time still) to enhance my social connections with various people. I feel great with Carson (as everyone likely does...) and okay with a few others, like Willow and Bryce and... personally, even Charlotte. I spoke to Charlotte tbh about what happened, and although we couldn't go in full depth about it, I wanted to justify and apologize for what happened, and I tried to make it clear that I wasn't going to relate the two games, and she said she wouldn't either. Is that likely? Maybe not. I will respect her decision though. ARGH GO ULTA TEAM WOO

So I'm telling Jordan and Jay about my idol because I really think it's going to help us in the upcoming vote. Right now as it stands, Ryan and Lexi are going to be voting for me and Jay/Jordan and myself would be voting for Ryan. However, that would leave one very pissed off and lonely Lexi without an ally. If we swapped or merged then Lexi would without a doubt flip on us and we would be screwed. If I tell Jordan and Jay to vote me out along with Ryan and Lexi, I idol myself and vote out Ryan, Lexi will believe that Jordan and Jay never flipped on her and will still trust them. If we end up swapping/merging then Lexi will still trust Jordan and Jay and we have a number moving forward where we wouldn't if they straight up flipped on Lexi. I hope...I don't get screwed :)

What a suprise we lost.... again. This round is going to be interesting for sure. I think im safe but hoenstly who knows. Ryan is getting blindsided tonight in an unconventional way. We are all voting luke, luke is playing his idol... bye bye ryan. Should be fun

I've been tired and haven't put much into challenges and talked to much people bc I suck

And I need a 2nd confessional

This is the first org I've ever played where I'm like "everything seems to be going too well" so I'm probably gonna get killed as soon as merge happens. Until then, I'm enjoying the high of my tribe winning everything except one challenge

haha I outlasted adam.. yes this is old news but it still feels good!

I wasnt around for the challenge but it feel great to win again

youtube

Our tribe doesn't really talk much unless we have a challenge due. Life at Ulta is boring today. I went hunting for treasure and all I found was a seashell. It was a sad day.

#NotAGameForLapdogs

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nybroadabroad · 8 years ago

Text

Story Time

This day, this freakin day, is maybe the WILDEST of my life. I am not exaggerating. This is probably going to be the longest post I ever write on this blog, I couldn’t make up everything that happened if I tried, and I feel like I probably won’t even remember to write down everything because there was so much, but I’m going to do my best get ready kids. The night before Sarah had told me that they wanted to shop at 10 and do tea at 11, so I set an alarm for 8 to get up and get ready because I had to shower and stuff. And just to preface, the start of this day was TERRIBLE. NOTHING went right. So I get up all responsible to get ready and turn the shower on and realize the water will not get warm. Literally let it run for a half hour and it would not heat up. But I went to a show the night before and looked HEINOUS and dirty so I had to shower. So I got in and tried as hard as I could to cope but I literally had to shampoo my hair in freezing water so I gave up and did that and just used leave in conditioner after. So things were already going bad and I was freezing but I was keeping a good mentality about it and knew the second I blew dry my hair I’d warm up. Low and behold… my hair dryer has been STOLEN. Straight up stolen right out of my room. I used it the night before, not even 12 hours prior, and it was still plugged in and now it’s gone. So I start freaking out and panicking because that means either 1. someone broke in and took it or 2. my ex-roommates still have keys and have been in the room and stole it. I live next door to the RA so i go to her to tell her what happened and you know what her brilliant response is? “Maybe it’s stuck in a drawer or something.” One, MARY, we don’t have drawers!!! TWO it was on my table when I left my room last night. THREE I always lock my door and I’m the only one living there so it’d be SUPER hard to misplace a HAIR DRYER and not be able to find it. So she was no help and i was panicking and upset and not sure what to do and on top of it I now had no way to blow dry my hair and continue getting ready and was just pacing all unsure. So then my hair is half dry and I just say F-it and start straightening it wet because didn’t want to be late. So I’m like almost ready at this point and message Sarah asking what the plan is, to which she replies that she just woke up and Dana and Amelia aren’t even awake yet…. so on top of everything I just went through to get ready they weren’t even awake/ready/going to be ready on time!!!! So I was STRESSED and mad and not wanting to go so I was like whatever let me know. So then my friend Alex texted our group chat asking if anyone wanted to go for brunch. At that point I had no idea when Sarah and them would be ready and realized I didn’t wanna go for tea anyway and I was so stressed that bottomless alcohol sounded so good so I said yes. Of course the second I agree to that Sarah texts me with the plan so I was like oops sorry I’m going to get drunk and eat brunch now so see you after. So the day started looking up, and me and Nat met Alex, Allie and Hannah at Dirty Bones (my fav brunch place) and there was already a glass of prosecco waiting for me when we got there. We had the most delicious food ever, eggs with avocado on scones and breakfast fries and also had 4 drinks each (at 11am might I add, but we’re in college so we don’t count as alcoholics yet) I had two types of prosecco, a spiked iced coffee, and a bloody mary with a sour cream and onion pringles rim. I’m including what I drank because alcohol was very prevalent this day, and you’ll see that later on, but I was actually drunk for 18 hours straight probably. I love study abroad. So brunch is ending and so is Sarah’s tea and we all agree that we want to all meet at Borough Market. Allie and Hannah leave to go home and shower because brunch was last minute and they weren’t ready and so me Alex and Nat head off to meet Sarah, Dana and Amelia and their guy friends (only one of who I know) at the market. We get there with no problem and are trying to figure out where to meet when Sarah texts me that a protest affected their ride and they were stuck on the tube for 30 min and finally got off and had to transfer and stuff so they’d be a little. So us, already being 4 drinks in were just like “ok lets go pub it until they get here”. So we found a really cool pub and all got cider and chilled until they came. I love cider?????? This one was spiked plum and omg so delicious. Finally Sarah lets me know that they are in the market and tell me where to meet them so me Alex and Nat are walking around making our way, trying some samples, mostly cheese and PROSECCO (i love london) and finally find them. Sarah took one look at me and goes “oh man ok drunky” because she’s my mom and just knows but has to love me anyway!! So we decide that we all want to go buy some drinks and have a “picnic” in this park-ish thing near the bridge, really stunning area. So we go to Tesco and buy some wine and cider and prosecco and head off and just spent some time there hanging out and drinking and taking pictures and it was so nice out and so relaxing and just a lot of fun. So as a side note, one of my friends from Canada who is studying abroad in Dublin currently is in London! And she saw on my snapchat that I was near the bridge and she was like oh my god I’m here too so I got to see her!!! Eventually everyone started leaving to go to dinner and do other things but me and sarah were still there because we were doing dinner just us two so I spent some time talking to Sarine (canada) until we realized we needed to leave for din because we had plans later too. So me and Sarah went to this mexican place called Wahaca (thanks for dinner mom) and got some margaritas and appetizers and caught up and were getting ready to order more food when we got a text from our friends that instead of being at our plans at 10:45 our promoter actually wanted us there at 10:15. Basically this guy who gets us into clubs and stuff for free and gives us free alcohol and it was his “promoter birthday” so he was holding this thing at the Vaudeville. So we paid and left and went home and we’re only one tube stop away from each other so I went home quick to change and so did sarah and then we all met at the airbnb that the guys were staying at so we could pregame. We were having fun there just hanging out, everyone was really nice and I was getting to know her friends better but then stuff started to go wrong again, as was the theme of this night (don’t worry there’s a happy ending) also keep in mind this was all of their last nights in London. So one of the guys who was there, I think his name was Daniel, was doing fine and then all of a sudden out of nowhere he was SO. DRUNK. like blackout, puking, lights out no one home drunk. But somehow his friends didn’t make him stay home because they didn’t wanna ruin his night and some of them thought he’d be okay to come. Okay whatever, I said nothing because not my friend and not my issue. So we ended up getting there like 20 minutes late and had to wait on line which is why Gary wanted us there early so we wouldn’t have to wait but it was whatever. So we’re in line realizing this kid is so drunk and none of us think he’s gonna be let in, at this point i’d been drinking for like… 12 hours straight? and I wasn’t even as bad as him. So we get let in and me and Sarah get let in first so I didn’t see what happened so like we’re in the club waiting for everyone else to get let in when realize it’s only the girls and two of the guys, and that Daniel and this kid Jeremy are still up there. Eventually Sarah’s friend Kenny (the one I knew) tells us that they’re refusing to let Daniel in because he’s too drunk (duh anyone could see that) and that Jeremy was up there fighting for him to get let in. We decided to ignore it because didn’t want it to ruin our time and we didn’t have to pay to get in but Kenny did and like everyone just wanted to have fun so Kenny bought drinks for everyone and we were chilling trying to have fun when Dana decided to go upstairs to see how the situation was going. She comes back down and tells us the club is threatening to get the police involved because these guys have literally been fighting with them for an hour. At this point they weren’t even fighting for him to get let in but the really drunk kid Daniel was claiming that the club took his ID to check it and didn’t give it back and still have it (this wasn’t true) but yeah so they refused to make it work and everyone started freaking out because like this kid was ruining all of their last nights there and it was putting them all in a bad mood that after like an hour and a half of trying to make it work we just decided to leave because wasn’t worth it. We weren’t going home tho, we just wanted to leave this place because so much negative energy about it. So we all leave and go outside and realize Daniel and Jeremy were gone which was great and we were ready to all move on and have fun. So Dana tells us about this place she used to go that was really fun so we all agree we’ll just go there instead. We all get Ubers and go over only to find out the place is closed lol. But no one was too upset, everyone wanted to save the night and were really motivated to make it work when all of a sudden who pops up but Daniel and like jumps on one of their backs and is like hey guys what’s up!!!!!!! And everyone is so annoyed to see him like GO AWAY. Literally one of his guy friends was like you need to go you literally ruined this night but he was so drunk he didn’t comprehend and was just like why’s everyone upset!!!! So him showing up really upset people again, especially this girl Amelia and at this point Sarah wanted to leave too. I was back and forth about going home but like 1. I had been drinking all day and it wouldve been a waste to just go to sleep and like 2. we’re supposed to be having fun i didn’t wanna go home all pissed and waste their last night. So I like half agreed to go home and sarah called an uber for her and amelia but when it finally came i impulsively was like nah I’m staying. So it’s like 1:30-2:00am at this point and the only people left are me, Dana, and Kenny. Jeremy was also around but hadn’t met back up with us yet. He’s Kenny’s best friend from high school so it was all of our first time meeting him. So the three of us are standing on this street corner wondering what to do, so we decide to go to Oneilll’s which is this really fun 3 story pub/club that we’ve all been to before and enjoy so we head over there. So things are looking up again, I even ran into Sarine again because when I saw her at the bridge she asked for recommendations and I told her about this place and she ended up going! So it was me and my friends and her and her friends and we were all hanging and got a drink and having a great time and then Jeremy showed up and everything was still fun until suddenly he realizes that he left his phone in his uber. Simultaneously Kenny spilled an entire cider on my phone (my phone is totally fine tho no worries) and now suddenly all of us are stressed out about finding Jeremy’s phone and trying to track it down and figure out what to do and we kind of get in touch with the uber driver but not really and we realize the driver was probably going home because we were tracking the phone and saw it was 40 MILES outside of London… and it’s like 3am at this point. We weren’t ready to go home but we left O’neills so we could hear better and try and figure out what to do so we’re on the streets of chinatown now just trying to figure it out but Jeremy had a really good attitude about the whole thing and eventually was like, “i’m obviously not getting it back until the morning lets just keep having fun” so we decide we want to go to Duck & Waffle because we had talked abut it all night and the four of us were really set on having a good time. Also, me and sarah had planned to get coffee the next morning before her flight and my trip to harry potter but then she texted me saying she wasn’t sure she’d have enough time anymore so i was pissed/upset and was like ya let’s just go have fun. Duck & Waffle is this super cool place that I’ve always wanted to go to. It’s in this 40 story building, and it’s the only thing in it like there’s no other floors just this at the very top and it’s this 24 hour fancy restaurant that all the walls are just glass and you can see the whole city and one of the like bucket-list things that people do is make a sunrise reservation at 6ish am to watch the sunrise from the top. We get there at like 3:30am and wait in line until about 4am. While we were on line we made friends with these people from Scotland and Ireland who were really funny but you definitely had to be there so I’m not gonna try and put it into words but it was really enjoyable. So we get up there and were like hahah wouldn’t it be funny if we stayed until 6:20 when the sunrises so we can see it. But at this point we were just so hungry and wanted to eat and stuff so we’re sitting and ordered food and this place is bumping and everyone who was there too was so nice and funny and friendly. It was one girls birthday and the whole place sang to her and then she stood on her chair to make a speech until they told her to get down so the whole place boo’d the employees lol but her speech basically ended up being “here’s to being young and getting drunk” so like pretty good speech in my opinion. We also made friends with the table next to us because they started making convo and then the girl who we are not sure how old she was literally could’ve been 23 or 35 or 50 idk why we were so confused about her age but she whispers to Dana that she thinks our friends are cute and I think her really buff (we later found out finance) heard her because he like pulled her over and then she looked at us and sighed and pointed to her engagement ring it was so funny but they were all still super nice about it and giving us recommendations for food and stuff. Me and Dana got colombian eggs (idk how to explain them but best scrambled eggs i’ve ever had) and avocado and toast and Kenny and Jeremy got the duck and waffles. We had SUCH a good time they’re all so friendly and funny and like the mood had changed so much and the night as a whole was just so good at this point we were joking around about all of it I had so much fun. Like despite being friends with Dana we’re still not like super close and I had only met Kenny once before. Like these are Sarah’s friends not mine but we all had the best time together. I can’t even emphasize enough how friendly they all are literally when we first got to O’neills Kenny bought all of us cider and I was like no no no you don’t have to do that and he was like “look you’re one of sarah’s friends so that makes you my friend”. So we’re done eating at it’s like 5:15am at this point. We’re not really tired yet, Dana is a little tired and we’re like…. lets just stay until the sunrise!! So kenny orders a bottle of red wine because why not at this point, literally our motto for the night was to just roll with it. So we’re drinking and eventually people start clearing out and it’s like almost 6am and Dana is ready to pass out but we’re like nope!!!! gotta power through!!! and the sky is starting to get a little blue so we were like okay we’re so close we have to. But then at like 6:05am our waiter is like lol i was supposed to kick y’all out at 5:30am because you were part of late night dining and we have to let breakfast people in now who have reservations and i’m gonna get you to stay as long as you can but you gotta go soon. So we were like okay thanks and he was really nice he like convinced his manager we had a valid reason to stay and stuff. So even when we finally got the check and stuff we were messing around and stalling so bad literally Jeremy sat there reading it for 20 minutes pretending to get the words wrong and not knowing how to pronounce it and starting over, it was hysterical, you had to be there tho. So finally we start to see a bit of the sunrise and they really want us to leave at this point so we’re like okay see ya and we leave the dining area to stand by this area with the elevators and the bar but then the guys are like lol lets stall longer so they both pretend to go to the bathroom for like 15 minutes and the manager is just like y’all… and we’re like lol. But then this random waiter is like can I offer you coffee or something and at first we said no but then we were like wait a second, if we order something we can stay!! (also we asked this before, but they said no in the dining area because of reservations but the bar area was fair game) so we all get coffee, which granted wasn’t my best move because still being drunk + caffeine = heart palpitations apparently. So we ended up staying until 7:30am and the sun was fully risen it was actually ridiculous like we somehow managed to stay at that place for FOUR. HOURS. So we finally decide to leave because I had to get ready for harry potter and I also decided to surprise Sarah at their airbnb with coffee since at this point i still thought she couldn’t make it. So we go to leave and on our way down the elevator we realized how FAST it was like we literally went down 40 stories so quick it was so fun so we went up and down three times… because we were drunk and delirious and caffeinated and five years old apparently. But yeah so then we split up and me and dana made our way to starbucks so i could get sarah coffee and literally as we walk in she texts me she had time to meet so i was like lol and ignored it and bought her the coffee anyway and just went and hung and said bye and yeah that’s where that ends lol WHAT A WAY TO SPEND 24 HOURS AM I RIGHT. Also props if you read this whole thing.

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