#and i am a non-US bitch so i am unmedicated with life happening at me @ 150mph baby!

[waywardtrek]

finding out glenn (my spirit animal) has adhd, while i sit here vibing with a wildly shaky leg, a never-ending to-do list of mundane tasks that i literally never stop complaining about, and my familiar omnipresent mild sense of dread and malaise all provides a certain level of vindication and resonance that one simply cannot find outside of the tumblr dot com arena let me tell you

[ask-kitom]

So I'm making a post because

1. I want some advice but also

2. Just so I can vent about this issue.

Long story short my husband fucked up badly in my eyes and I'm still processing and not over it nearly 2 weeks later.

So basically here's what happened, I caught my husband sending racy texts to a mutual "friend" who we both have known at that point like 2 months MAX. He met her at work and thought she and I would get along well so I reached out to her and basically tried to befriend her, it wasn't too bad actually! She's really hard core open about everything in her life and talks way too much but hey I made a friend after moving from everyone I know and love so I was happy about it.

Fast forward to the texts he was sending, they were as he puts it "getting to know one another" and yeah they were going back and forth about music, games, tv, ECT. Like you expect people to do but here's the issue, it turned into her giving a free pass of "ask me anything even naughty" that then turned into her asking him "what would you do to me" and he responded. Way graphically.

But I'm ahead of myself here, I should clarify that about a week maybe two prior to this discovery my husband was WAY too close to her, she called me at 2AM saying her boyfriend was "being mean" and she needed to go somewhere she felt safe.

Okay no biggie, I picked her up and brought her over to our place. She was drunk and brought a fucking bottle of vodka she finished off on my couch, then proceeded to demand to go smoke (non smoking complex, gotta walk across the street every time) and she didn't want to go alone because she's drunk and blah, blah, blah, okay. I took her out at least 4 times before I was just exhausted, it was like 5 am and she wouldn't sleep.

8am rolls by and I finally get her to bed, she decides the couch and other bed suck so she snuggles herself between my husband and I in our bed. Okay fine, I can deal, not uncommon to share a cal king with friends and the spare bed is uncomfortable as fuck. Whatever let's just sleep.

She literally kicked me out of my own bed in her sleep (at least I think she was asleep?) Rolled her ass into my husband and curled his arm around her like she owned him and the fucking house.

Whatever, I let that go, she was drunk right? I can deal.

2pm rolls around, my husband has left for work already (at 10am after peeling away from her) and ice been up the entire time, she walks out of my bed, showers, complains about my brand of toothpaste and how it isn't on the sink for her, then wants fed so I make her breakfast. I just deal since she's probably going over right? Wrong. She opens another vodka bottle from God knows where in her purse and chugs a good 4 shots worth before eating, claiming "hair of the dog" or wtfe. Mins you I've offered her TONS of options from straight gatorade to lemonade, water, tea, coffee, coco, you name it if I had it I offered it.

So fast forward now to my husband getting home at near 7-8pm, she's drunk again already and my husband feeling left out decides to get (wait for it) MORE VODKA! Along with opening my bottle of wine I was saving!

I don't drink much or often as my liver isn't the best so I let them drink, she finishes her own shit and then finishes ours mostly on her own, my husband was buzzed at most and I was sober babysitting them. We go to smoke a dozen damn times again and at one point she can't walk back she's too drunk! My husband gives her a piggy back ride, carries her like a bride, and holds her hand, shit he hasn't done for me or even offered in YEARS (together 12 years married for nearly ten mind you) so I'm a bit annoyed at this point but hey, she's drunk let it go right?

We get home, she's laying herself on top of my husband like he's her fucking prom date, he's sporting wood (I know men can't control it, I let it pass) and she's ground herself into his side on the couch beside me. This is a pretty fucked up evening, I get my husband alone and away from her at about 4am to let him know I'm uncomfortable and she needs to leave, I'll pay an Uber to get her home idc but she's gotta get out I can't deal anymore.

I come back to her literally hiding on my balcony because she thinks I'm being an ass I guess? Never did get an answer about that one... Anyways, 6am rolls around, I get her home finally and ask my husband to let up on the PDA since it really makes me uncomfortable how close he is with this other woman. He agrees and we sleep.

From that night forward he was texting her nonstop, ignoring me outright, and neglecting his own sleep to text with her untill early hours of the morning every day.

When I finally saw the racy messages I confronted him, we fought, I stayed with my mom a bit to cool off, came back, and asked he stop texting her. He works with her so I knew he saw her daily and I knew he would still be her friend though I didn't like her anymore, so I asked he stop messaging her. One day. I got ONE DAY he didn't message her, he started hiding messages and sending her things over Facebook instead of texting.

I found she had lied to me multiple times about things she spoke to him about, he was hiding his friendship though I had asked him to stop texting, oh and she kissed him on a night he lied to me about going over to her house to hang out!

I confronted him after this and asked he make a choice, me his wife of 12 years or her some new coworker he met a few months ago.

He chose me thankfully but the issue next was he didn't lay it out clearly that she and he weren't friends anymore (also he IS her boss and it was getting beyond unprofessional when she would grab his ass at work) so basically he messaged her and asked I block her on all social media as well as texts so I knew it was done. I then had to message her to stop texting and be much more blunt to the point of threatening a restraining order because she wouldn't stop texting us both at this point with crazy comments like "I'm bipolar and unmedicated" "I was drunk sorry" "well your marriage is broken so just let us be friends so I can help fix it" there's a literal LIST of messages she sent me.

So the texting stopped, she was transferred to another location and banned from my husband's location, but the issue I have is this; she messaged him again. It's been about 2-ish weeks since the end of things and the transfer, she was clearly informed to stay away by my husband, her boss, and her boss's boss. My husband didn't reply and all it said was his name, but I'm still bothered by the fact she sent anything at all.

I guess the advice I'd like (in message please) is how should I handle this? I made sure that she kept her job because I'm not that petty, and I even personally know her bosses so it's not like I couldn't get her fired if I really wanted but really I just want to know if my being upset and bothered is justified now? I know my husband didn't respond and even had me read the text he was sent soon as it arrived, I'm just at a loss... Her boss and I know one another VERY well personally and I was told she's now crying at work constantly and fucking up her closing shifts to the point she's costing the store money but still she texts my husband after all this?

TLDR: my husband sent racy texts, was faced with a her or me situation, chose me, now bitch is trying to get ahold of him again what do?