#and i Will make shit up from whole cloth like no tomorrow esp if somethings underwritten

[dailyoyo]

yknow this is just random idle thoughts but honestly i have a hard time thinking of the jsr and jsrf versions of the cast as Distinctly Different characters (with the exception of whatever is up with cube and combo, but i'm chalking that up to the fact og jsr ch2 was a localization thing and not part of the og release). like Okay its two differrnt continuities, diff things happen to them and some aspects of the group dynamic are different, obv, but og jsr is so character-light it's hard to extrapolate ANYTHING about them without veering into making shit up out of whole cloth really fast

and the supplemental character info for og jsr is VERY thin - and doesn't really contradict jsrf, either. like bis/mew/rhyth is definitely trait: devil's advocate in future even though in og canon we'd only know that from a guidebook. imo it makes me feel like the future cast characterizations is more like, yknow, Expanding upon the ideas behind the og jsr cast than it is Making New Versions Of Their Characters. like theyre different timelines of the characters but theyre not Different Characters you feel me. not that future is a Deep, Complex Character-Driven Narrative either but yknow what i mean.

and so its like fascinating to me when ppl characterize the two canons' casts as having differing personalities. wheres it come from? pure vibes? (and then over here with paradox it is So fucking future-based despite being meant to be a combination of the two canons bc of the limited material we're given to work with in the og LMAO)

IDK i tend not to seek out random fancontent and in fact avoid it like the plague bc of my own brain eccentricities but im fascinated by this topic regardless.

[solarsleepless]

Hello good sir.

Please rant to me about avian hybrid/ Lion hybrid/ enderman hybrid c!Niki headcanons and au's. I NEED MORE of your c!niki banter cs I have already read your fics 3times over and over again.

SHJHJSHJSHJSHJSH GIVE ME GENDER EUPHORIA AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

i'll give some hcs for each

Avian Niki

niki is either a crow hybrid or an angel hybrid. on one hand crow niki is funny to me on the other hand badass angel

her feathers, ironically, stay white during her 'villain' arc because yaknow symbolism

when she was going out with puffy, she'd let puffy preen them

because she was the only other winged hybrid, quackity trusted her to preen his own wings

in return he preened hers while she was in jail

she used to fly with puffy because love <3

during her isolation arc, she takes out feathers as an unhealthy coping mechanism, reasoning to herself that there's no need to preen if she doesn't have any feathers left (yes it's morbid)

eventually tho she just. doesnt even wear clothes for her wings

she just hides them underneath, which is of course VERY uncomfortable

they get worse and worse and ache more and more and she wants to fly so badly but she can't unless she preens them and she can't because she just can't!

when she joins the syndicate, the first thing phil says during their second meeting is: "hey niki didn't you have wings? what happened to them?"

his voice is tinged with sympathy; he knows what it's like to not be able to fly

she freezes, just stops moving, then starts to cry

phil is worried he's done something wrong, but then she reveals that she's kept her wings hidden under wil's coat and cloak all that time (note the symbolism)

he immediately is like "what the FUCK" when he sees them because there are feathers falling when it's not even shedding season yet?? also there are a few in places they shouldn't be at all? there are some fucking missing?????

long story short it takes multiple hours to get them back in place

niki passes out during it because it's been so long since she hasn't been in constant pain

when she wakes up, phil insists on keeping her there to preen her wings

also the syndicate has a long discussion about what happened and they promise each other and themselves to help her get better

Lion Hybrid Niki

she purrs end tweet

no but seriously this girl will purr to end and back

she purrs louder than ranboo which is SAYING something

she loves the scritchy scratches behind the ears. like REALLY loves 'em. she'll just- once you give her scritches she just. surrenders and leans into it. her purring sounds like a fucking jet plane when she gets the scritchies

she can roar, she only uses it to intimidate people tho

her self-worth is just. deeper than bedrock. she has no self-worth

she and puffy are working on it but she still... needs help

sometimes she gets phantom pain from her declawed fingers. she's found out it hurts less when she massages it, but she can't actually reach it, so she asks puffy to do it, and puffy can't help but feel guilty each time she sees the stumps

also niki hates getting her nails trimmed. like HATES it. even if she doesn't want them growing as long as they did before, the idea of something sharp near her fingers after what happened just makes her blanch

eventually tho she does have to do it

she hugs puffy while ant cuts her nails, and puffy whispers sweet, reassuring comments to her.

like

"you're doing so good. i'm so proud of you" and "we're almost there. you okay? we're gonna get through this."

sometimes tho niki just.. can't handle it. but she doesn't want to disappoint puffy either so she tries to just get through it anyways.

puffy notices her discomfort and asks her if she wants to stop. niki hesitates before nodding.

"niki, you being comfortable is so much more important than this. we can do it tomorrow, okay?"

Enderman Hybrid Niki

makes littol enderman noises. sometimes when she's stressed, sometimes just idly, sometimes when she's happy!

she has a tail because how can i not give her one

also she has pawsies and hands like magpiebur by @/nightferns (BECAUSE I LOVE THE WAY THEY DRAW WILBUR'S PAWWWS)

can withstand water a little better than ranboo, being more human than him

it still burns though

she just has higher pain tolerance lul

also can touch snow unlike ranboo because she's half human, half enderman

her ears and tail twitch whenever she's anxious

didn't really like eye contact, and the l'manbergians respected that (esp eret who didnt like people staring at their eyes either) until schlatt came along and basically forced it, so she kinda forced herself to do it from then on

unlike ranboo however, she doesnt go into enderwalk. she actually hasn't got an enderwalk because ranboo got it from nervous habit and it 'evolved' from there (my hc anyway), she instead literally gets hurt

like it hurts her to make eye contact

ranboo sees that she makes eye contact despite being an enderman hybrid and is like: "...HOW???"

she's just like "oh i force myself to do it lul. cause everyone expects me to anyways. it hurts after a while but its fine"

he just goes completely silent after that, then tells phil and techno at the syndicate meeting (while niki is admiring steve) not to hold eye contact w/niki because it hurts her

techno: "HEHH??? she seemed fine when i visited her!!" ranboo: "yeah she's been hiding it this whole time because society expects her to do it." techno, an adhd fella: "..phil where are the adoption papers-"

niki's confused by the end. why did nobody look at her? why did nobody maintain eye contact with her??? did they not like her?

but at the end phil explains that they thought that because she was an enderman hybrid she wouldn't like it (they're lying to not throw ranboo under the bus)

niki just stares, then starts to cry because holy Shit they are so nice

"nIKI NO YOU'RE BURNING-"

used to bite her tail as a way of self-harm. techno was VERY concerned when he saw the bite marks, but niki just lied and said that it was a dog attack

he knows for a fact it wasn't a dog because he's been bitten and his furniture has bites and it didnt look like that

more like that One Time when Ranboo bit him while he was in his enderwalk state

cue him connecting the dots and being like "...WAIT"

niki also really likes blocks. like we all know her city is weird in some parts because it's built with different blocks, signifying niki's jumbled up mind while planning to kill tommy. but in the enderman hybrid niki hc, its also partly because blocks feel nice and she wanted to feel different ones

her tail curls around the legs of people she likes. so far, it's gone around: wilbur, tommy n tubbo (those two specifically during pogtopia), fundy, eret, puffy and the rest of the syndicate

whenever puffy made her flustered she'd blush either green or pink. no inbetween. puffy was very confused and thought niki was disgusted by her at first and was all :(( before niki explained her wack biology

that's all i got for now im afraid!

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

So motivated by anyone who shares they are working on losing weight. FYI 10kg is nothing to sniff at, esp. if you're not being too restrictive (as a lot of restrictive diets basically make you lose water weight at first, prob not your case). Keep it up!! If you don't mind answering, what are your goals?

I don’t mind, but I’m putting it under a cut because it’s going to be a looooooonnnnng ass ramble and I’m going to include some pics and I’m aware that I’ve already clogged everyone’s timelines with enough pictures today. Before I go off on my tangent, though, I want to make it really clear that I firmly believe that any person can be beautiful and love the way they look at any size. This is something that I am fighting very hard to believe about myself, too, regardless of what weight I am. I am not at all a believer in slimming down for the sake of vanity (despite my negative opinion of my own looks, vanity has never been a big enough motivator for me to lose weight), but this has progressed to the point where vanity isn’t even a consideration anymore.

Okay, so, backstory. When I first moved to England, I weighed 140lbs (63.5kg) and I looked like THIS ↓

Aren’t I BEAUTIFUL? I think so, even if nobody else does, I think so. I think so now. That part matters.

I can distinctly remember that when all three of these photos were taken, you see. I also distinctly remember looking at each one afterwards and thinking, “Fat, repulsive, disgusting.” Fat, repulsive, disgusting. That was my opinion of myself. I repeated those words in my head on a daily basis. I truly believed them. Hence, I’m wearing the same ugly cardigan in two of those pictures, because whenever I wore pretty clothes I felt so undeserving that I was compelled to cover them up with something ugly (the red dress is an anomaly because there was a dress code involved). EVERY TIME. It practically become automatic. “I’ve spent £40 on this dress, so what can I cover it with?” was basically my mantra. It was fine, I thought, because I didn’t care about pretty clothes. Liking pretty clothes was beneath me. This was a lie. I love pretty clothes. I love bright colours. I was drawing pictures of pretty gowns and tiaras from the age of six. But hey, easier to pretend that you don’t give a shit about pretty dresses than admit that you don’t feel worthy of wearing them.

I am seven whole-ass years older now, and I topped out at 283lbs (128kg) on the scales fives weeks ago. That is the heaviest I have ever been. I have doubled my body weight. By medical standards, I am extremely obese, and I’ve had seven whole-ass years to think on how I behaved back then. I’ve thought a lot about how much I hated my body and how undeserving I felt and how I stuffed myself full of junk food and said it didn’t matter because I was repulsive anyway, so why not? I wasn’t being kind to myself. How can I be a kind person if I don’t treat myself kindly? My own self-loathing has cost me my health, because in 2013, I didn’t need to take stomach tablets every day. I wasn’t vomiting a few times a week because of chronic digestive issues. I had regular periods. I lived in Sunderland and would get out of bed on my days off and walk three miles to Seaburn beach, just to hang out with a book and build sandcastles and paddle in the water and thoroughly enjoy my life. I had the ability to do that without wanting to collapse. I had the energy to write for hours on end without getting sleepy after forty minutes. I had lots of energy, lots of it!

I don’t have the luxury of enjoying any of that stuff now. I have lethargy and sluggishness and I get breathless walking up the stairs, and a huge part of that is because I have gained so much weight over the years, and because I have been eating things that specifically exacerbate my digestive issues. And I’m sick of it. My brother’s lottery win has been the most insane blessing to my family in that it is allowing us all to live out our wildest travelling dreams, and I don’t want to be the person who takes an eight hour flight to Paradise, only to sit around and do nothing because she just doesn’t have the strength. There is an eleven-year-old diamond in my life who I would do anything for, and I want more than anything to be able to bring him places and have fun with him and partake, instead of sitting on the sidelines holding coats because I am too fat to ride the rollercoaster (which happened to me, FYI, shout out to Port Aventura for sticking to safety measures, though the woman manning the coaster didn’t have to poke my thigh and say, “fat,” to make her point clear).

The thing is, and maybe this is a tl;dr moment that could have saved me a lot of trouble, but I am unhealthy and I’m tired and this is like...my life. My one life. What am I doing? I owe it to myself to treat my body better.

So these are my aims.

I want to get back to 140lbs. That is a healthy and reasonable weight for my height and body type. I am aware that I will not look the way I did in 2013 because I am seven years older, but I don’t care. I am aware that I will have loose skin and a belly and wobbly thighs when I reach this weight, but I don’t care. I will have energy. I will be healthier. I will be able to bring my stepson to all kinds of places and have the most fun with him.

No fad diets ever. This is all I’ve ever tried before, and the end result has always been the same: lose a bit and put it back on. I am making legitimate and incremental changes to my lifestyle. I am building lasting habits. I will weigh myself once a week to keep track of how I’m doing, but never more than that. I will exercise every day for a small amount of time, but if I miss a day for any reason, I won’t beat myself up about it. I will not skip meals. I will not deprive myself of food.

I am an excellent cook and I love trying new things, so I will be using that skill to find and experiment with new, delicious recipes from all over the world for my family to eat. Once lockdown ends, I’m going to start throwing dinner parties. I think this will really help me to change my attitude towards food and make meals fun for me, rather than a self-inflicted punishment.

No denying myself things. If I want to get a McDonalds I will get a McDonalds because, y’know what? Tomorrow I am going to have lots of veggies and cook myself a good, nutritious dinner, and that McDonalds won’t be anything but a delicious interlude in my week that I am not going to feel bad about.

No hiding myself in drab clothes. I hate wearing brown, grey and black and yet it accounts for most of my wardrobe. Both of those cardigan pics were taken in the middle of summer. I have wasted years of my life sweating it out in long sleeves and leggings so other people wouldn’t see, and for who? For what purpose? I am going to buy all the pretty clothes I like, wear loads of bright colours. Fuck it, it’s just for me.

[horce-divorce]

man. so. i've been doing REALLY well mental-health wise since i moved back to michigan. in the past 2 years i even started sleeping regularly and established a bit of daily routine

but my routine is messed up rn because i had to stop smoking weed. i chose to for my EEG in a month but also bc i'm out of money lmfao. and i would maybe even be able to function w/o weed if it wasn't for the ARFID. but my life and my nice new routine is falling apart now bc i went off my meds and, predictably, i cannot eat! and I am. frustrated. I just need to vent :^)

cw for talk of food/ED & neuro issues

without weed, it takes me so long to eat even 1 apple, sliced as if for a child (usually 1.5 hours), that i have to devote my ENTIRE day to making sure that i'm getting enough calories to even sort-of function. because if I only eat "what I can" I will only be eating about 500cals a day, i will start barfing, and I will end up in the ER. it's happened multiple times before.

so my routine is all wack rn. i wake up at like 8:30, I work on a carnation shake from about 9:30-10:30. around 11 I slice up some fruit and work on that until about 1pm. i have to watch tv while I do this bc otherwise I'm too focused on how the food feels and I will have a panic attack. this esp is fucking me up bc for the last 2 years I mainly watched TV at night (easier to get immersed and then go to bed then walk around all day still being immersed. is that an adhd thing?? idk)

anyway by the time i'm done w my apple it's time to think about lunch, and that also takes me several hours to complete, and by then, it's time to think about dinner, and at that point I still probably have not eaten even 500cals. and i havent gotten anything else done in the meantime (like art, or transcripts, or whatever) either because it hurts too much to sit at the desk, or because I can't eat and focus on a task at the same time (I hyperfocus, the food will go uneaten). or both.

normally I eat smaller meals/snack thru the day, then eat 1 large meal at dinnertime, but I literally physically cannot make myself do that without weed anymore.

and like, neuro didn't tell me I need to stop smoking weed for my procedure, I took it upon myself to do that bc I want them to have the data. and my counselor said now's a good a time as any to quit if I'm out of money, because when they DO ask you to stop smoking for a procedure, it's usually like, 6-8 weeks out or something.

like, technically can I survive on less than 500cals a day for a month? probably, but I really don't wanna find out?? I don't wanna live like that??? i've been losing weight like crazy and NOT in the Cool Good For You kind of way, in the "shit I already needed to replace my clothes bc transition and now this and I HAVE NO MONEY" kind of way.

i did request an appointment w my pcp about my stomach after calling the nurseline (hopefully they get back to me tomorrow). but I feel like they're just gonna refer me to a gastro. and that's gonna be another indeterminate wait for someone to look at. and idk if i can continue to not use weed that whole time. like idk if I can stand it. i cant fucking live like this I'm literally suffering and can't do my work or anything.

idk maybe like, i can stop smoking just a week or two before my EEG and that might be ok? so that I wont fucking starve in the meantime??? :( REALLY hope the next gastro isnt such a dissmisive ass hole like my last one....

[softboyholland]

Could we have Spideychelle if they were in University? Love the headcanons you've had so far, they're so good~~~

ok because they’re really smart they both get into the same uni

with scholarships and all

can u believe

tony is a proud iron-dad

so he buys peter an apartment that is fully furnished as a ‘congrats, son’ gift

best dad ever

meanwhile, michelle is looking for a place that is cheap and affordable

she knows she could just go up to peter and room with him for a bit but her ego is too big for that

but it’s 2 weeks before her first sem starts and she’s homeless

because she already kinda told her parents that she has a place to live and all

she finds herself knocking on his door at 8 pm w her suitcase, in her pjs

ofc he answers and is shook

bc lets be real, when is he not shook

surprise surprise! there are 2 bedrooms

michelle crashes on the couch tho,,bc the other bedroom is covered in moving boxes

who knew peter had a lot of stuff amirite

actually, the whole apartment is a MESS

it’s covered in a bunch of boxes

but she’s too tired for that rn so she thanks him and she’s out in a few seconds

the next morning, she wakes up and she’s not on peter’s couch?? tf??

she sits up immediately and is ready to  F I G H T

but then she sees the blue lightsaber lying in the corner

and she’s like ‘oh, so i’ve not been taken’

she takes her time to really take in peter’s room

his bedsheets smell like him and everything is so cozy and warm and smol

she wants to lay here forever

but then it hits her

‘if she was here, where was he?’

he’s on the couch, passed out

she stands there and stares at him for a bit 

then she decides the best way to wake him up is by flicking his forehead aggresively (stydia, is that u?)

he’s panicked for a moment but then he sees her and he calms down

“i was fine on the couch, you know.”

‘i was out anyway, i didn’t get home till 3 am”

ah. spiderman duties.

she decides to make him breakfast, it’s the least she could do

but he convinces her to stay there permanently

they could split the bills

and

“it’ll be so cool, mj! we’d me roOMATES!”

and she agrees and

oh god what did she get herself into

part 2

ok so they’re one week into uni and things are good

turns out, that living with each other was a good thing

mj cooks for him bc lets be real, peter can’t cook for shit

she also cleans around the place and organizes his stuff because she’s secretly a perfectionist

it’s nice to come home to peter trying to hum the imperial march obnoxiously

peter isn’t a slob but he can be real annoying with his web fluids and whatnot

and mj is making friends??yay!!

turns out people at college are so much more cooler than the losers at midtown

though she misses them

ned is over like almost everyday

although her room is furnished now,

she falls asleep more on the couch than on her actual bed

but she never wakes up on the couch

hmm i wonder why

and there’s always a mug of tea waiting for her in the morning on the kitchen counter

she also always finds little chocolate bars on her pillow

esp after a stressful day

so life is basically gr8 right now

but then mid terms roll around

peter is surprisingly calm and chill about it

but he’s super smart so she gets that

she’s super stressed tho

cos she really wants to be responsible and make her parents happy

but it’s hard

she’s having the worst day

her first paper is in two days and she is nowhere near ready

her clothes are ruined bc of the pouring rain

and all her notes are ruined

she really wants to cuddle up in her bed and maybe eat one of the chocolate bars on her pillow

but then she hears it

she hears peter and a girl

she can hear said girl’s giggles coming from his room

and michelle is never jealous of another girl ok

WOMEN NEED TO SUPPORT AND LOVE EACH OTHER

but it’s hard when she’s having what could possibly be the worst day of her life and the guy she’s most definitely in love with is probably in there with some other girl who’s probably SO MUch more prettier than she is and she’s about to fail her mid terms

she wants to cry honestly

so she does

she does what every girl does

she grabs a tub of ice cream and aggresively sticks her spoon into it and sits on her bed

and reads

she’s reading a bunch of sad poems and she’s cryinf and her mouth is full of rocky road

and peter’s stupid chocolate bar is staring at her like he’s judging her from next door

once she’s run out of ice-cream, she calls her brother

“yes?”

and she cries

because she misses him and she misses midtown and she misses when peter parker was her nerd and she misses being responsible and actually good at school

but her brother has to be in south africa now, being a good doctor and shit

so she calls ned

and she’s having a panic attack now

and ned’s voice is so calming it makes her calm down for a bit

ned is at the apartment in a few

what a good friend honestly

and she starts crying again

because he’s such a nice person she doesn’t deserve him

ned realises that she’s just sad and stressed

ned also suspects that this has something to do with peter

once she’s asleep

he knocks on peter’s door

peter and girl are making out

ned is disgusted

so he chases the girl out and hits peter with all his strength

“dude! what was that for!’

“michelle was literally in tears and you’re making out with some girl?”

protective!peter

“what happened? where is she? is she ok?”

“yeah, no thanks to you.”

so ned tells him everything

and he’s like ‘the chocolate bars are sweet but i think she needs her roommate and her best friend.”

and peter’s mind kind of goes into a slideshow of all the times she’s been there for him

when ben died and she was the only one who didn’t give him that pity look

with his ptsd after the infinity war

helping him calm down and study for the sats

the one who told him his results mid-battle

the one who constantly takes care of him and his wounds after fights

the one who cooks him breakfast

the one who pushed flash into a bush when he was making fun of peter

and then he realises that he’s been such a fratboy dick lately

michelle only wakes up at 2 am the next morning

her room isn’t a mess anymore

there’s a glass of water at her bedside table

she tries to go back to sleep because call it a feeling but she just knows that peter is awake and she doesn’t want to look at him rn

she’s too hungry for that

so she carefully sneaks into the kitchen

it’s empty, thank god

there’s a container with some spaghetti in it

but oh wait! there’s a note

‘figured you’d be hungry. p.s. i didn’t cook this don’t worry’

she’s kinda still mad at him but halfway through the meal

she realises that peter is gonna meet other girls and his life isn’t going to revolve around her anymore

he’s probably going to marry some pretty girl who’s super smart and awesome and nerdy

and she’ll be all alone with her stupid college degree and a bunch of cats, still in love with peter parker

little did she know lmao

so she’s not really mad at him anymore but more mad at herself because of all the people in the universe, she had to go and fall for peter fucking parker

she decides to study because what good is being emotionally stable if she’s going to fail her mid-terms amirite?

so she pulls out her book and

OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU GUYS GET THIS

there are little flashcards waiting for her

and she already knows this is peter’s doing

her heart feels like it’s going to burst because it’s so full

so beyonce is blasting through her headphones

and she’s studying with this stupid smile on her face

because of peter fucking parker

thank god tomorrow is a saturday

peter stops being an asshole and running away from his crush on mj

they become a hella lot closer

michelle hugs him when she gets her results for the paper she was so worried about

she treats him when he gets his results

aunt may is secretly planning their wedding

ned really wants to propose to michelle on behalf of peter

tony may have a few rings picked out already oops

basically spideychelle is #married

[meepface]

hello friends i am trying to distract myself feel free to ignore

1. What question do you hate answering?

people asking me what’s wrong when the answer is something about me feeling suicidal bc i don’t like my irls knowing i guess?? it makes me uncomfortable when people know too much about me in that aspect i guess. it makes me uncomfortable when people too much about me in general lmfao

2. If you could be anywhere in the world right now where would it be?

not to be gay but my girlfriend’s arms lmfaooo but if she could come with me i’d love to go to Iceland

3. Do you have any obsessions right now?

i’ve been really into folk music and girl punk as of late lol and i also am trying to change up my wardrobe completely so i’ve been real into thrift shopping as well

4. Does anyone in your real life know you have a tumblr and do they follow you?

yes i have a few people who follow me and all they’re learning about me by following me is that i’m really sad and i like girls, which are things they already know so it’s chill

5. What is something you disliked about today?

i have been depressoooo bc my plans today got a lil fucked up so i had too much free time to think about how much i miss my gf, and i am trying not to talk about it too much but i am sad. it’s okay bc tomorrow i have a full ass day with all my best friends and that’s gonna be so good for me. just gotta get out of this house

6. What’s one thing that people compliment you on and you don’t know why they do that?

my smile bc i think my smile is ugly as all hell and i’m working really hard on smiling in pictures more and loving it but man idk. people tell me it’s nice but i don’t see it ig

7. Do you like bubble baths?

yes very much!!

8. Do you talk to yourself?

all the time, i’m the only one who listens to me

9. Are you a writer?

i used to write like, stories, which i wanna do again bc i have so many ideas floating around in my brain. for now i write a lot of sad poems or poems about how in love i am and then just not show anyone bc i’m insecure, but i have journals of em

10. What are somethings you’ve written?

i started this cute gay love story about two boys and one tried to kill himself by walking into traffic and the other was the one driving the car that hit him and the boy survived and met the other boy and they fell in love and shit and i got pretty far but i just sorta stopped so i wanna pick that back up sometime. i could see that one being a cute indie film

11. Has someone ever written something for you?

yeah my ex boyfriend wrote a heavy metal guitar solo for me if that counts lmfaooo but i’ve had a few poems written by some people i’ve had things with and then a long time ago a disgusting boy wrote a NSFW fanfiction about me and John Krasinski and i was underage and he was 28 so that was disgusting!

12. Have you ever gotten a love letter?

from my current gf yes, i also got one from a girl i met on a dating app like three years ago lmfao and one from a girl i had a thing with in 2015. i also got one in middle school from a boy who was like in love w me but like in a creepy way so that was not fun lol

13. Favorite quote?

it changes but right now it’s “turn soft and lovely any time you have the chance”

14. Name one book that you will always remember. 

i really really loved The Outsiders i think it was one of my fave required readings in middle school

15. Name the top five things you spend the most time doing.

laying in my bed, hanging out w my gf, clothes shopping (esp when i don’t need it), working, drinking wine and crying probably

16. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

hmm this is a variety but lately i like Sweet Talk by Saint Motel, RENTAL by BROCKHAMPTON, Fish on a Hook by Wild Rivers, the acoustic version of There, There by The Wonder Years, and of course Disco Tits by Tove Lo

17. What’s the highest you’ve accomplished in school?

i did this short film about drinking and driving that was awesome, and i also directed our school’s first lip dub w my best friend and that was honestly a major highlight for me 

18. What do you do when you wake up?

i usually check my phone and lay there for like an hour sometimes an hour and a half and then i go shower

19. Morning showers or night showers?

moooorning

20. Beer or Wine?

wine, i am such a wine mom. i don’t entirely hate beer though

21. inside or outdoors?

outdoors if i’m somewhere green and pretty like the mountains. the mountains are honestly my happy place i love feelin small next to em and i wanna live somewhere where i’m surrounded by em

22. Morning or Night?

night if i’m with friends/gf, morning otherwise

23. Summer or Winter?

autumn

24. Rain or Sun?

sun !! rain makes me sad lately if i don’t have a lot of company with me 

25. Ice-cream or Cookies?

cookies bc i’m lactose intolerant lmfao

26. Sweet or Salty?

salty

27. What is your favorite beverage?

i’m a water bitch. coffee comes second tho

28. Has any one person ever made you so angry that you couldn’t forgive them?

i thought i forgave em but i don’t think i can, i’m still mad. not like they said sorry anyway though

29. Are you outgoing or shy?

not shy just introverted

30. Has someone ever made you cry?

everyone makes me cry i’m literally a baby

31. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

my girlfriend when she gets hoooome, also my cousin if he comes in town to visit

32. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yeah, a few people. when i was crushing on Caitlin before we started dating i had it so bad i would literally cry on my way home from hanging out with her because i was in love with her but she had no idea. it’s all good now i can kiss her all the time

33. Do you have a crush on anyone right now?

yeah my cute gf here is us from a week ago when it was snowing in TX and everyone was losing their goddamn minds

34. Does anyone have a crush on you?

i would hope my gf does

35. Do you still talk to your first crush?

actually yes lmfao every once in a while, he lives in Alaska now so we can’t hang out anymore though or we still would

36. Name a person you love?

Caitlin

37. Ever broken someone’s heart?

yes

38. Ever been heartbroken?

yes

39. Do you ever want to get married?

i know at some point i do but i’m very scared of rushing into it. marriage and the concept of it kinda freaks me out. not the committing to one person for life part bc i can do that, but idk. maybe bc it didn’t work out for my parents i don’t really see it as completely necessary when you’re in love and committed to someone to marry them, but i think i’ll probably still get married if my partner wants to. i’d be committed to them either way is all i’m saying

40. Who are five people you find attractive?

my girlfriend, Borns, John Krasinski, Zendaya, Donald Glover

41. What’s your dirtiest secret?

if i talked about it it wouldn’t be a secret would it

42. Has someone ever bought you a drink?

yes but not in the romantic gesture kinda way

43. Have you ever gone home with someone you just met on a night out?

i’ve gone to a girl i made friends with’s house after just meeting her once?? i didn’t stay the night though and it was for a party w mutual friends so nothing like what i’m aware this question is trying to imply

44. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

nope not at all

45. Why did your last relationship end?

i broke up with him bc 1. i wasn’t attracted to him anymore and most importantly, 2. bc he cheated on me 

46. Would you get back with the person you were last in a relationship with?

absolutely not, plus i have a gf now who i love with my whole heart and dating anyone else sounds unappealing

47. Have you recently made any big decisions?

oh yeah, huuuuge ones. caved and got spotify premium yesterday and it saved my life

48. What has been your most favorite moment of 2017?

yikes it took me a few mins to think of one bc for the most part this has been a really awful year, but probably my first pride parade w my best friend!!

49. What did you do on April 7th, 2017?

that was the day before my birthday! i was probably just chillin and maybe having an existential crisis about turning 20

50. Are you excited for May 12th, 2017?

it already passed but i know around that time in my life i was taking a break from a lot of things that stressed me out and i was listening to a lot of Harry Styles so it was a good time probably