#and i Watched as so many of my classmates were forced to confront the entire premise of their worldview in those classes

[ghostzzy]

i very firmly believe an intro to sociology and a social theory class should be Mandatory Prerequisites for most undergrad degrees, no different than the required english or history credits

[its-rat-time-babey]

I adore Spectra’s first appearance in My Brother’s Keeper. In fact I adore My Brother’s Keeper in general, as it’s my absolute favourite episode in the show.

One thing that I confidently say about the series as a whole is that it would be instantly improved if it leaned towards the more horror aspects of its concept. The show as a whole would be way better if parts of it were played for horror, and that goes DOUBLE for Spectra.

And that’s because Spectra in canon acts extremely differently compared to the other ghosts that Danny faces. Instead of being loud and flashy like the others, Spectra is a slow, creeping force.

Basically all other ghosts in the series are, just like how I described them before, pretty loud and flashy with their actions and fights. When they show up, everyone knows pretty quickly and Danny gets on the case not long after. Even villains that try to hide their ghostly attributes like Ember in her first appearance very quickly drop that facade once they’re face to face with Danny or once they get decently close to their goals.

But not Spectra. The only thing that gets Spectra to reveal herself as a ghost is being directly confronted with no other choice. Instead of being loud and flashy with her plans and actions, Spectra maintains her disguise through everything and goes about things quietly from the shadows. When she needs something loud and flashy, she has Bertrand do it for her to stay out of the spotlight.

And the results are terrifying to watch. Spectra latches onto Casper High like a parasite and we see her influence slowly creep through the school as the episode progresses. Students become more depressed as Spectra gives them the opposite of therapy and encourages negative behaviours, made even easier by her negative emotion generating presence, starting with just a few and ending with the entire student body being depressed. All while Danny struggles to figure out why because Spectra did what no other ghost even attempted to do and found a way to trick his ghost sense.

Not to mention that the final part of Spectra’s plan involved publicly killing Jazz (who from Spectra’s perspective is just some random student by the way) in front of the entire school to make everyone even more miserable.

When Spectra is defeated the school is described as “having a dark cloud over it lifted” because that sums up what Spectra is perfectly. A slowly creeping dark cloud that settles over an area and drags everything down.

My Brother’s Keeper is also perfect for Fridge Horror. Because I can point out three massive chunks of fridge horror right off the bat.

1. Spectra knows about Danny’s ghost sense and how to fool it, heavily implying that she’s been in the background for a while now stalking Danny from a distance to learn these things.

2. We very plainly see that this isn’t the first school that Spectra has visited and fed from, with multiple pictures of other schools that Spectra has worked at. There’s a 99% chance that those schools met the same fate that Spectra attempted to doom Casper High to, drained of all positive emotion with one or several student deaths before Spectra left. I say several student deaths because as Spectra states herself in the episode, one person’s spirit affects the next like dominos. The death of one student in a school full of extremely depressed and even traumatized teenagers depending on the circumstances could very easily lead to more deaths, which in turn lead to even more deaths.

3. Sidney Fucking Poindexter. It is very easy to understand the theory that he took his own life back in the 50s. He’s the ghost of a high schooler whose backstory involves constant relentless bullying with no friends or help, bullying so relentless that it became his main focus as a ghost. It’s all but directly stated that that’s the case. But stranger is the fact that a ton of his classmates also became ghosts. So many of his classmates exist in the ghost zone that an entire alternate version of Casper High exists there. So why are they here?

Because remember what I said about one student death causing several more? There’s a good chance that this isn’t the first time that Spectra came to Casper High. Sidney dying from suicide makes even more sense if Spectra was involved and a large amount of Casper High’s student body dying shortly after also has an explanation if she was there in the 50s.

——

I also really like My Brother’s Keeper because in my opinion, that’s the episode where Jazz’s character goes from her initial characterization as a Skeptic, Know-It-All and Perfectionist at the beginning of the series to her much better characterization as one of Danny’s best supporters and one of the best characters in general. It introduces her to ghosts for the first time for one, but it also reveals Danny’s identity as Phantom to her, and I’m obsessed with how good her reaction is from a character and meta perspective.

When Jazz learns that Danny is half-ghost, she doesn’t confront him for keeping secrets or anything like that, but instead quickly and easily accepts that Danny has his own reasons for wanting to keep his identity a secret and decides to let him come out to her when he’s ready to on his own. She also tries her best to make Danny feel comfortable with his identity around her with her “you can talk to me about anything” speech.

It’s an amazing bit of character that not only shows how much Jazz trusts, respects and just cares about Danny, but it’s also amazing out of universe because I seriously struggle to find any other character in fiction that’s acted this way when discovering someone’s secret identity, especially when that person is close to them.

Also the episode in general shows how much Jazz cares about her brother. Right off the bat at the beginning of the episode Jazz is talking to Mr Lancer about wanting to help him and Jazz mentions that she’s been worried about him ever since the accident (also giving us the lore that all the Fentons know about the accident and it wasn’t just a secret thing that only Danny, Sam and Tucker are aware of).

Also My Brother’s Keeper is absolutely RIPE with Trans Danny material. Jazz’s reaction to learning about Danny’s identity, Spectra’s quotes of “What are you? A ghost trying to fit in with humans? Or some creepy little boy with creepy little powers?” and “You're a freak! Not a ghost, not a boy! Who cares for a thing like you?”, it’s got some gems in there.

Also Trans Danny combined with Spectra’s quotes in this episode make her Danny’s only explicitly transphobic villain and that’s remarkably in character for her.

[prsk-krow]

hiii ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ im obsessed with your works as of right now, and i was wondering if i could request mafuyu and ena with a burnt out digital artist reader,, reader has a major lack of motivation and genuinely doesn't like anything they make ^.^ ty if you take the rq!!

{Mafuyu/Ena with burnt out artist reader!}

Ah, thanks! I'm glad my writing is causing as much of an addiction as prsk has got me in! Seriously, I may be too obsessed with this game... Caw.

Mafuyu Asahina

After Mafuyu dropped her act around you, she became your favorite critic! So many of your friends just praised your works of art without analyzing them or really caring about it, so Mafuyu's blunt criticisms were a refreshing change, especially since they were backed up by analysis and honesty!

Listening to her criticism and trying to improve your next piece keeping it in mind was something that you didn't think you'd enjoy as much, but it does make you feel like you're slowly but surely getting better!

Mafuyu also tended to stay with you and looking at your art was something that she could feel some interest in. Maybe it was related to the fact that you always listened to her true thoughts and didn't care about her lack of sweetened talk... It was refreshing, in a way.

Today was supposed to be just like any normal day, as she headed to your classroom to meet you inside, after everyone else had already left. When she saw you there, twirling your pen in your hands as your face showed exhaustion, she quickly realized what was going on before you could even come up with an excuse.

"Ah, I should've seen this coming. You're drawing a blank, huh? It's ok, I don't mind. It would be best to not force anything and just take a break for now. I know that you're not gonna get worse with just a few days, so it should be fine."

You didn't expect her to be so nice, but she simply said that she said whatever came to her mind. This could only mean that she truly cared about your well-being, not just your art, huh...

You didn't even have a chance to refuse and keep trying to work, as she almost dragged you out of the classroom and took you home with her, as she spent the entire day watching over you and making sure that you weren't trying to force yourself to come up with something. It was weird, yet comforting in a way. Who knew she cared so much...?

Ena Shinonome

Having a good artist pal was a great help, especially when you just needed to vent out your issues that only other artists could understand, both you and Ena! It was quite de-stressing, and it was hard to think about life without someone like her, now that you two chatted everyday! Or, night.

You were one of her few classmates at night classes, and you two quickly bonded over your struggles and works! You quickly learned about her weakness to criticism, both positive and negative, so you had to learn how to comment on her art in a way that it wouldn't leave her too embarrassed or too frustrated!

However, these past few days, Ena could recognize the slow descent in inspiration behind your pieces, something that worsened over the next few days! She may not be as analyzing as her group-mates, but after a few days it was clear as day for her, even if you did your best to hide it!

As soon as she was sure of what was happening, she stopped you before you could leave with a small pretext, and she confronted you, much like she did to someone else...

"Alright, listen up, you! How many times have we talked over the days, and we have agreed that forcing yourself to create when there's nothing behind it is s terrible mistake!? I mean, I can tell how much our conversations are to you, but at this point, you're just making this worse on yourself. So for the next week, I won't look at whatever you make, understand?? You'll take a break, then thank me for forcing you into this!"

Her words were harsh, but fueled by her true feelings, unlike your latest pieces of art. You felt as if she felt as insulted by them as you had been as well... And since it was coming from someone who understood your processes and results, maybe listening to her wasn't a bad desicion.

Of course, you still made sure that she was keeping up with her constant practice! It was sad that you would have to abandon your pen for the next few days, but this wasn't too bad either... You just had to make sure that you didn't anger her again, or you'd probably get another earful... Not that you'd ever say that to her face. Some things are better left a secret!

I hope this is good enough, I don't really have the inspiration to write for two on the same scenario back to back as I have for separated ones! Not that I'm gonna prohibit them, but it's something I mentioned in my pinned! Hope you guys don't mind... Caw.

[an-obsessed-writer]

Mind Over Matter - Part 2

Summary: Everyone knew the Baron Helmut Zemo, you’d have to be living under a rock to not recognize the name of the ridiculously wealthy royal attending your university. He was the school’s top bachelor, a sophisticated and confident man who obviously was wealthy. That was enough to make any woman at the university swoon, but he was always known to never keep a girl for long. What happens when (Y/N) finds herself meeting him at one of his parties?

A/N: i’ve started watching so many movies with Daniel Bruhl in it! he’s taking up every space in my mind. will i ever update my steve rogers fic? only time will tell. part 3 coming soon if ya’ll enjoy this :)

Word Count: 1.7k

Part One

You couldn’t believe what had just happened between you and Zemo. It was like something was controlling your body, not caring what was happening, only that it needed to happen. His hands lit your skin on fire, so comforting but almost dangerous. His kiss left you yearning for more, but here you were, walking back to your dorm instead of spending the night with the Baron.

Your heels clacked against the pavement, providing some distraction from the drunk classmates goofing off in front of Zemo’s house. You just wanted to get to the comfort of your room and lay in your bed until Wanda came home so you didn’t have to process this entire evening on your own. 

“(Y/N)!” Footsteps came from behind you with an all too familiar voice calling out your name, and you let out a groan. Instead of leaving this night behind, Zemo had to follow you out of the party, and you’d be forced to confront the scene that had just taken place in the lovely mansion you wanted to abandon.

Before you could turn around, Zemo was by your side. His suit jacket had been discarded, leaving his arms even more noticeable under his white button-up. There were a few stray hairs clung to his forehead, no doubt from the partying, but Zemo’s face was full of concern rather than a carefree college student.

“Are you okay?” His voice was soft, making you release the tension from your shoulders, and you looked at him confused. “You left in a hurry, I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he elaborated.

“I’m fine, Zemo. I’m just ready to call it a night,” you say with a pained smile. 

“Please, call me Helmut.” 

“So any girl that makes out with you can call you Helmut?” A joking tone took over your voice, and your mind still couldn’t understand the effect this man had on you.

“Precisely,” he responded with a chuckle before he continued. “But seriously, I had no intentions of making you uncomfortable, and I apologize if I overstepped.” 

Your smile became more sincere, and you looked down at the ground before responding, “I’m okay, Zemo. I’m just ready to go back to my dorm.”

With a defeated look on his face, Zemo simply nodded, “At least let me walk you back, it’s late and Wanda is still with Vision.”

Your eyes went wide with surprise. It wasn’t easy forgetting about this man, but you’re not entirely sure if you would want to forget about him. His accent and his manners left your head in a spin, and that’s without even thinking about his attractiveness in this moment. The hair that you were able to run your hands through not too long ago clung to his forehead, his cheeks slightly rosy due to the alcohol, and his puppy dog eyes were almost too much to handle. Too hard to say no to.

“Fine,” you conceded, “but you’re carrying my heels.”

“Naturally.” Zemo’s smile showed you a different man than you had ever seen on campus. It wasn’t unusual to see him remaining stoic and unbothered at the library during his studies, nor was it unusual to see him looking constantly formal. Zemo’s messy appearance showed his casual side, making him seem almost more domestic in your eyes. 

With a sigh, you hand over the heels that you’ve been carrying and start the journey back to your dorms. 

It remained quiet for a few minutes, allowing yourself to glance at Zemo whenever given the opportunity, only to find that he was constantly looking at you. A blush crept up to your cheeks as you realize this, and you shake your head as a way to ground yourself back to reality.

“This is the Baron Helmut Zemo,” you thought. “He doesn’t pine after women, women pine after him. Get a grip.”

Yet here he was walking you back to your dorm in order to ensure you arrived safely. 

“May I ask you a personal question?” There Zemo was again, making even a simple inquiry as formal as possible. Is this the European manners or simply how he was trained when he was young?

“You may.”

“Why do you not go out much?” Zemo stared at you curiously, his eyes narrowing slightly at his own question.

“I’ve… got many plans for myself. Men aren’t a part of that plan,” you explain, sending a look over to the man next to you before continuing. “My plan is school first, life second.”

“What’s the point of living if you are not having fun during it? University is a big deal in many cultures, it’s the time people find themselves and experiment.”

A small smile spread across your face, “Do you just like to be poetic randomly, Mr. Baron?” 

He shrugged his shoulders. “Only when it’s fitting,” Zemo says with a wink.

“I can’t afford to get distracted. Unlike others, I have no back-up plan. This is what I’m doing, this is what I’m going to do. Thankfully, I’ve been able to get enough scholarships to scrape by, but I have to work to keep them.” You answer honestly, feeling almost completely bare due to the intimate conversation, but his presence had a calming effect.

Zemo only nodded and furrowed his eyebrows, signaling that he was in deep thought. He’d stay like that for the remainder of the walk, making you nervous that you may have done something wrong to offend him, but you chose not to voice your own thoughts. 

Just as your building came into view, rain started pouring from the clouds overhead. Without a second to think, you grabbed Zemo’s hand and ran towards the doors under the roof, not wanting to get soaked or offend the Baron any more by leaving him in the dreadful weather.

His hand grasped onto yours instantaneously, and ran alongside you with amusement. Amused by what, you can’t understand because your luck seems to only be taking a turn for the worst. 

Walking into the building, you could take a better look of the state that Zemo was in, and he seemed beautiful. His hair had flattened out due to it becoming wet from the rain, and you could see his undershirt beneath his button-up. You could get used to seeing more of this version of Zemo.

Taking pity on the already wet man who had escorted you back into your home, you keep hold of his hand and lead him to your dorm apartment where he could dry off if he wishes to stay. 

Your hands were slightly shaking as you unlocked the door due to the cold and the skin your dress failed to cover. 

“Just come inside and dry off. You can wait out the storm and go home after,” you say without even looking at Zemo. The thought of being alone with him in your room was nerve-wracking to say the least, and you couldn’t let him know that. Letting him know the effect that he has on you would only lead to trouble.

“You’re very kind,” he responds with a grateful smile, and follows you into the college apartment. 

Thankfully, you were able to clean up the mess left by Wanda while she was getting ready. Although, you felt ashamed that you continued to live on campus while Zemo practically lived in a palace.

If he didn’t like the place, there was no way of telling by his expression. He remained stoic and took a seat on the couch, laying a blanket over so he wouldn’t get it wet, and shook his head like a dog. Water droplets flew off his chestnut hair, and Zemo smiled like a little boy up at you. This made your heart flutter.

“I’ll go grab a towel and some extra clothes, just one second,” you say softly. You had to get out of the room because he was simply making you suffocate with his boyish charms. However, when you returned with a fluffy pink towel and clothes left by old hook-ups, Zemo had already stripped down to his undershirt and boxers.

You averted your eyes, not wanting to make a fool of yourself as you handed him the things he needed.

“You can look, you know.” You could hear the amusement in his voice, but you shook your head at him.

“I’d rather not,” you respond, keeping your eyes trained on the floor. All of a sudden, you felt a finger under your chin. With slight encouragement, Zemo lifted your face to make eye contact, and he smiled down at you.

“Thank you for your hospitality, (Y/N).” Hesitantly, Zemo left a kiss on your forehead before putting on a new pair of clothes, leaving you breathless. 

After gaining some composure, you remove the wet blanket from the couch and toss it into the hamper of dirty clothes before taking a seat. Zemo soon followed along after he got his affairs in order and took the opportunity to sit right beside you.

“I’m assuming these clothes are coming from men who spent the night? After all, even a woman who refuses to date needs pleasure sometimes.” He smiled at you cheekily, raising his eyebrows in a teasing way, but all you could focus on was the way he rolled his r’s. You could listen to him talk about calculus and be able to pay attention.

“That is none of your business!” You reply with a scoff and a little slap against his shoulder. 

Zemo feigned hurt and wrapped his arm around your body, “I’d consider us friends now. Friends know each other’s dirty businesses, yeah?” 

A giggle escaped from your lips, and you wanted to scoot away from the man, but the warmth of his arm around you was heavenly. Maybe you could make an exception for him.

[theewritingroomm]

Cliché

Summary: Being best friends with the Weasley twins meant constant adventure. However, Y/N’s biggest adventure is coming to terms with her feelings for her best friend. Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader Word Count: 1,882 Warnings: Unrequited feelings, swearing, A/N: Text divider by: @firefly-graphics

Y/N could not exactly remember when she became friends with the Weasley twins, but she does remember a lot of the things that they pulled her into. She remembers when they first started dragging her along through the hidden tunnels throughout Hogwarts, she remembers when she would stay at the Borrow for the summer and she would watch them prank Percy and Ron, and she remembers exactly when she started having developing feelings towards Fred.

It was completely cliche for her to fall for her best friend, but despite others saying he was childish and could not keep his attention on anything for longer than ten seconds she didn't care. She did not care what people said about her and her two best friends, they were inseparable, and were known around the school as the Three Musketeers: a name given to them by Hermione. The name followed them around as did the gossip and rumors started by fellow classmates.

But now the Tri-Wizard Tournament and the Yule Ball was all anyone could seem to talk about. Instead of O.W.L.S, the house cup, and the quidditch cup there was talk about who everyone thought was going to win the tournament and who was going to the ball with who.

Now Y/N really did not care who was going with who, or who she thought was going to win the tournament; well, that's what she had told Fred and George. To be honest she would like to go to the ball but with Fred and George always around no one would attempt to talk to her, but that would not matter since the only person she wanted to go with only saw her as a friend. It was such a cliché scenario, falling for your best friend.

"So, Y/N, has anyone asked you to the ball?" Hermione asked her over breakfast. Now Y/N could not lie and say someone has because them Fred and George will ask who and then they'll turn into overprotective blokes, and no one really wants that. So, she just shook her head pouring herself some more pumpkin juice. Hermione just stared wide eyed and open mouthed at her.

"Bloody hell. If Y/N can’t get a date, then how can we Harry?" She heard Ron mumble. Y/N wanted to say something or throw something at him but fought against it and stood up to walk out of the Great Hall. No one tried to stop her, and since they were on holiday, she couldn't go to class so she settled for the Gryffindor common room.

Sitting in front of the fire Y/N thought back to one of her first summers at the Borrow.

She was nervous, not only was it the first time she would be meeting the entire Weasley family, but it was right about the time that she started discovering her true feelings for Fred. She ended up staying in Ginny's room and becoming fast friends with the youngest Weasley. It was about halfway through the summer when Y/N was confronted by Ginny; for someone so young she had seen the way Y/N looked at her brother.

"Hey Y/N..." Hermione's voice startled her out of her memories, making her face the younger girl. "I'm sorry for what Ron said earlier, he doesn't really watch what he's saying."

"It's ok Hermione. Fred and George are the same way. Can't really remember how many times I've scolded them for saying things they shouldn't have" Y/N chuckled at this, but Hermione stayed silent.

"But that's not way I'm here actually." She looked at the fire avoiding looking Y/N in the eye. "Now please don't be mad at Ginny, I forced her to tell me."

"Hermione, what did she tell you?" Y/N's voice was hard and cold, but she isn't one to tell others what she's feeling so for Ginny to know about how she felt about Fred and now for Hermione to know was more than she could take.

"It's not that bad. I mean there's still time for you to ask him if you really want to go with him..."

"No Hermione, there isn't any time left. He asked Angelia yesterday in front of me. So, what am I supposed to do? Walk up to him and tell him that I have feelings for him, and I have since third year?"

It was a lot for her to admit out loud, and especially in front of another person. Now Y/N waited for Hermione to say something, anything but the only thing she heard was a gasp then a chuckle. Not two seconds after she heard that did George step into the common room. Now some people can't tell the twins apart, but she could, and she could also tell that this was bad, unbelievably bad.

"George, what the hell are you doing here?" Y/N asked staring wide eyed at him. She was panicking, there wasn't much the twins kept from each other and she didn't know if he would keep this to himself.

"Well, I came to check on my friend, see if she was okay after storming out of breakfast." He was teasing her; she could tell by the mischievous grin on his lips that nothing good was going to come out of this. "But I come up here to hear that she's got a crush on my brother."

Now Y/N liked to believe she was able to keep calm under stress, she had to be able to with as much trouble the twins dragged her into. But right now, with Hermione and George looking at her and knowing what she felt for her friend nearly pushed her over the edge. So, there she sat, in front of the fire her jaw tight and eyes watering with her secret coming out that she realized it was pointless to try and hide it anymore, it was all falling apart anyway.

"Hermione, can you let me, and George talk alone for a minute." It was less of a question than a request, so when the portrait closed behind her Y/N looked over at him to see the grin hadn't left his face.

"You know Y/N, I've always questioned the guys you've gone out with and what you saw in them. But now I know that you've been trying to get over dear old Fred."

"Shut up George, just shut up." Y/N tried her hardest not to cry, she tried to keep from breaking down, but she wasn't successful; she had reached her breaking point. "Just forget this every happened and promise me you won't tell Fred."

"But let me just...."

"No George, promise me."

"I promise."

Y/N just nodded and left the common room. She had a feeling that something was going to go wrong, something was going to come back and bite her in the ass. But at this moment she didn't care, she just wanted to be left alone, to get away from everyone.

Christmas at Hogwarts was Y/N's favorite time, the feast, and the alone time when most everyone was gone was something she looked forward to. But this Christmas was different, there were more people staying at Hogwarts this year and the Yule Ball was happening on Christmas day. Now she wasn't to down about the amount of people staying nor was she still upset about Hermione and George knowing about how she felt for Fred, she was nervous about the ball and how she would handle it.

After talking with Ginny and some other of her not so close friends, she realized that the ball was a once and a lifetime opportunity and she couldn't let it slip through her fingers. So, with a little planning Y/N and Lee Jordan were going together. It wasn't too bad, Y/N and Lee were friends, and Lee owed her a favor anyway.

"You know I don't think I've ever seen you in a dress before." Hermione tried to calm Y/N's nerves as they walked towards the Great Hall.

"I know." After that half-assed, awkward attempt at a conversation no one else spoke until after they met up with their dates.

It was after everyone watched the champions dance with their partners and Y/N made one to many unnecessary trips to the punch bowl, did her and Lee dance. It was not the perfect slow dance, they were stumbling over each other’s feet and laughing at stories, in all it was a good night.

"You know Fred's been looking at you all night." Lee whispered to her before twirling her. She snuck a quick glance over to him to see him dancing with Angeila, but his eyes were trained on her. She could not read what he was feeling but by the look he was sending her it wasn't too good.

"Guess he's shocked that I'm in a dress." Y/N shrugged looking away from Fred to flash Lee a smile.

They stayed at the ball for what felt like hours, they stayed until they were the last ones in the Great Hall. For a night that started out full of nerves and doubt it ended as close to perfect as Y/N would get.

"Good night Lee. I'll see you tomorrow." Y/N told him, waving him off as he walked to his room.

She smiled to herself and sat in an armchair in front of the fire thinking over the night. I mean sure she did not go with the guy she wanted to, but she did go with someone she could have fun with; and maybe the night went better than she thought it would. Overall, she would not do anything different to change tonight.

"You look happy." She jumped at the voice, about to yell at the person for scaring the shit out of her but she turned and saw George looking at her with a smug grin.

"It was a good night." She told him simply looking back at the fire.

"You know if you wanted Fred and I wouldn't oppose to you going out with Lee."

"Lee's a great guy, but I couldn't. It wouldn't go anywhere; I'd be leading him along."

"Because of how you feel about Fred." Y/N just nodded, not looking at him. "Maybe that's what you need. Someone to get your mind off him."

"That's the thing George, I can't get him out of my mind. He's been my friend since our first year and I had to be the one to fall for her best friend." She ranted, trying not to wake everyone in the tower.

Before George could say anything, his twin stepped into the common room, a shell-shocked expression on his face.

'Shit, shit, son of a bitch' ran through Y/N's mind. He had heard them, heard how she felt about him.

"Y/N...." he started, but he could not finish there were to many emotions running through his head. Fred took a breath before nodding towards his brother, who quickly left the two of them alone. "Look I'm sorry but Angeila and I..."

"No, you don't have to explain Fred. I knew you wouldn't feel the same way." She gave him a small sad smile before grabbing her heels and walking to her dorm.

"Good night Fred,” she told him before turning away, trying to hide her tears from him; but he had seen them.

[lo-vesimping]

𝕜𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕠 𝕜𝕪𝕠𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕚

♥ character(s): my boy maddog

★ description:  you go to a party with maddog and go your seperate ways. you're confronted by a guy and kyotani finds you

♡ warning(s): party, harassment, violence

♥ author-chan: kaoru

★ note: im either writing long one shots or short bursts of headcanons, no inbetween

❥ word count: 941

You had kissed Kyotani on the cheek and waved him off as his friends insisted on playing a game with him. Of course, that was an hour ago. You mingled around, even talked to some old classmates you got along with. Your social meter had been plummeting since separating from Kyotani's side, and now you were starting to get antsy about leaving. Drink in hand, you leaned against a corner, watching everybody pass by you while yelling or shaking their bodies to the music.

"Hey, beautiful. Why so down?"

You met the boys eyes for only a moment before returning them to crowd watching.

"I'm good. Just standing."

It's not that you didn't want to have a conversation, but your mood was dropping the longer you missed Kyotani. It's unlike him to be gone from you for so long. Usually he's the one who comes crawling back to you at parties, begging to go home.

"Not the partying type, huh?"

"Yeah," you let out a dry chuckle. "Just kinda wish I could be somewhere quiet."

"There's a hallway over there. Haven't seen many people bother with it since there isn't anything for the party, come on."

He lightly put his hand on your shoulder and guided you through the maze of people until you were looking back and forth in the hallway. There was a few people, but ones who were either going to have sex in the bedrooms, had just got done having sex, or their social meter ran out as well.

"Aren't you glad I was nice enough to show you here?" The boy teased, slightly leaning towards you.

"Yeah, thanks."

You would give a laugh every few minutes, not minding the conversation. Your mind was mostly hazy at this point, so half of the laughs you gave, you didn't even know what he said. Maybe I should go find Kenny, you think to yourself, wanting to hold him.

"So," your breath hitches in your throat as you take a step back into the wall. "Let's go somewhere more private."

You stumbled out some sounds, attempting a sentence, trying to get your brain to catch up to your surroundings. The boys hand quickly snatched the drink from your hand and placed it on a table nearby, stepping closer to your body now that your hands weren't in front of you.

"Then we can really get to know each other," the man whispered close to your ear.

You slid your body from under him and put your hands up slightly, taking a step back in the hallway to where the main party was.

"I'm, uh, should go-"

"Wait," he grabbed your wrist and pulled you next to the wall, trapping you again. "Don't make this a waste of time, now. You can't say you're not interested-"

This felt like it was going on in slow motion. You attempting to tell him no, and him insisting on a good time.

Seconds before, Kyotani was pushing his way through anyone in front of him, looking for his partners hair in the crowd. He had wanted to find you since the second he left your side, and finally got fed up with his old friends keeping him away from you. His friends tried to follow, but refused to be as brazen as him, apologizing to anyone he happened to run in to. He began to get frustrated when he couldn't find you, getting more forceful until he heard a familiar voice, just for a second. His head snapped in the direction, his body moving without thinking until it suddenly stopped in its track. His eyes shrank, his fists clenched at his sides, and his mouth turned up into a growl. His feet stomped across the carpet.

In an instant, you felt a weight lift off of you, and a loud thud follow. Your mouth dropped watching the scene. Kyotani had grabbed the man's shoulder and threw him back into the wall, immediately bringing his fist back and swinging into the man's face.

"Ken-"

The man was gripping his cheek, and when he went to confront Kyotani, your boyfriend landed another punch into the man's side, sending the boy into the other wall. You could see the red in his face, the hate in his eyes, as he took another step towards the boy now humbled over, grabbing his torso.

"Stop, enough already-"

He ignored your pleas and brought the man to his knees by gripping his shirt.

You quickly looked into the crowd and saw your old friends, searching for your boyfriend.

"Where did he-"

"Oikawa! Hurry!"

When they all recognized you, they made their way to you as quickly as possible, and all began to yell at Kyotani when they saw what was happening.

"If you ever touch her again-"

Before Kyotani could throw his fist forward again, Oikawa and Iwaizumj grabbed both of his arms, pulling him away while telling him to stop. He struggled against them to get his hands on the man, but eventually gave in and marched his way out of the house.

The second your feet left the house, he spun on his heels and put both his hands around your face, squishing it slightly. His eyes went back and forth between yours, full of concentration and concern.

"Y/N-"

"I'm fine, Kyo. You shouldn't have done that."

You brought your hand up to his, bringing his knuckles to your lips to plant a soft kiss on his reddening skin. His nose scrunched, and he quickly pulled your body into his forcefully. One hand placed on the back of your head, and the other around your waist.

"Shut up. I'll always protect you. Idiot."

You gave a light giggle into his shoulder and squeezed him back, enjoying the warmth you had been missing the whole night. And you couldn't wait to cuddle into his safety at home.

✪ bonus

❥ he spends the entire night glued to your side once you get home. you can’t even get a glass of water without him standing over you 

❥ whenever you go to parties, he refuses to let you leave his sight, and will stand over you glaring at any man he sees, daring them to even glance at you

❥ he cuddles you extra close and tight that night, mumbling under his breath that he’ll always be by your side

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

Goodbye Paris: The Class's View

This is set for after Marinette graduates early, and right after Hawkmoth's defeat.

When Marinette left the class for good many were happy that another 'bully' was gone. They celebrated even more when Hawkmoth was defeated though they made sure to comfort a despondent Adrien. In fact the class didn't think about her much until Bustier asked how their funding for the end of the year trip was going. 

Everyone was just confused asking her what she meant. Bustier mentioned that they should have been raising money for their trip. Since Marinette was gone it fell on the rest of the class. Lila spinned a story claiming that Marinette purposely dropped out half way through the year to screw up their trip. Bustier tries to mention that Marinette hadn't dropped out but the class is already on its tyrant of Marinette being terrible. She simply sighs and drafts up an email explaining to Damocles that her class will not be going on the trip.

The class is terribly upset as they scramble trying to make up enough money to at least do something together as a class. Adrien pulls out some of the money he has from selling his father's company and helps pay for them to go to Disney Paris.

As crime begins to rise Adrien reveals himself as Chat Noir, hoping that with the help of Paris he'll convince Ladybug to give his Miraculous back. He is happy that Paris rallies around him, however it backfires on him when Ladybug announces she is leaving Paris for good.

When the class confronted Lila about her best friend, Lila burst into tears. Leaning against Adrien forcing him to fake comfort her. She spins a tail that Ladybug, 'real name Megra' went off on her a while back for getting akumatized. She claims that 'Megra' insulted her telling her that she was done being friends with a 'disabled' person. Everyone but Adrien believes her, this causes Alya to start tearing apart Ladybug on her blog.

Soon all of Paris is looking for this 'Megra'. When the trip comes up everyone is sad that they aren't leaving the country like other classes. Once they get back Lila starts crying saying that this was all Marinette's fault. This causes the class to get angry. And Alya decides to head over to Tom and Sabine's and give Marinette a piece of their mind.

When they arrive they notice a limo out front this causes them to stop and stare. They watch as Jagged Stone gets out greeting Marinette with a tight hug as the driver takes her bag. She then gets into the limo with him leaving before the class can make it over. When Lila sees Sabine and Tom she quickly asks what is going on, playing the worried classmate card. Sabine tells them that Marinette has moved out to an apartment close to her college.

Lila frowns starring after the limo hiding her anger. Before saying that Marinette must have tricked poor Jagged in some way and then stating that Marinette couldn't get into college because she dropped out of school.

The class comforts Tom and Sabine, both of whom tell them they are sad that their daughter turned into the woman they just watched leave. Lila smirks before smiling gently at the parents and telling them that she'll be there if they ever need help.

Over the next couple years the only time they hear of Marinette is when Juleka is complaining over her brother still being friends with her.

Lila cons Adrien into dating her after she convinces their former classmates to help push them together. Adrien agrees and starts dating her wanting to keep the peace between his friends. Meanwhile the others all have jobs in the field of their passion but they are extremely low level. Adrien and Lila are still modeling. Nino only djs for kids parties and school dances. Alya is working in journalism but rarely gets to write her own articles, and so on.

When Gotham is destroyed Lila is quick to cry out that she hopes the Wayne family is okay. Claiming that she's known them all since she was young. In fact she drops out of contact for six months only to come back claiming she found a way into Gotham. She tells them she was helping the poor Wayne family and Gotham rebuild.

The former classmates gather together excited to watch Bruce's opening speech. Lila and Adrien couldn't make it. The class is shocked when they see Marinette standing behind Bruce. Her head resting on the youngest Wayne's shoulder with her right arm around his waist and her left hand placed on the center of his chest, with his left arm wrapped around her waist. The class blows up when instead of mentioning Lila, Bruce thanks Marinette for all she did helping rebuild Gotham. No one knows what to think, Marinette was there with them on tv. She was live proof that she had been in Gotham the entire time. Meanwhile Lila had no proof, the former class was in shock.

Everyone attempts to reach Marinette to talk to her but they all fail. No one can get through to her, Tom and Sabine have no contact.  Chloe wont even acknowledge them and when Juleka tried to guilt her brother it ended with him cutting off all contact with her. Telling her he was ashamed of how she'd been acting and that even now she won't take no for an answer.

Soon after they begin to separate themselves from both Lila and Adrien spending less and less time with the two. Until they didn't even text anymore, Adrien is isolated with only Lila causing her to gain more control over him. A few months later they become Lila and Adrien Agreste, he hates it but she makes the best out of the grave he dug himself. 

Neither of them know about Marinette marrying Damian Wayne. They don't hear about her until a few years later. Both of them are in America for a photoshoot and a fellow model manages to get them both tickets to the Wayne family's gala.

When they arrive Lila is upset that only a few photographers want pictures of them. She is struggling not to glare as they enter the ballroom at Wayne Manor. The two mingle with other models, Adrien enjoys talking to other people. While Lila keeps a death grip on his arm, talking and giggling with other models.

They are both surprised when they hear Marinette call out to Selina. The two watch her enter the ballroom escorted by Damian, walking behind them were two twins that's only difference was their gender. Both of them are shocked when one of the model exclaims excitedly about her boss Mrs. Wayne finally arrives with her darling twins no less. The small families outfits are elegant and beautiful, each one screaming one of a kind.

The two spend the entire night attempting to get closer to the couple. Both fail spectacularly, someone always coming between them.

Halfway through the night Bruce calls attention to him and Selina, before telling everyone that the Wayne family had a few announcements. He announces that he is handing Wayne Enterprises over to Tim and Damian completely, and that he is signing Wayne Manor over to Marinette and Damian. Richard steps up with Commissioner Gordon and Barbara by his side and the Commissioner announces that he is officially stepping down and naming Dick the next Commissioner. The ballroom bursts into whispers when Marinette and Damian and Damian stand up, causing the others to give them confused looks. They share a loving look before Marinette announces to everyone their own news.

Marinette- First I want to say congratulations to my oldest brother Richard. I have no doubt you'll make a fine Commissioner. I wanted this to be a surprise so only Damian, twins and I know this, but we have an announcement of our own. Come late December the Wayne family will have two more additions, our daughters Gina Gray and Byrce Catherine Wayne!

This causes the room to burst into cheers everyone quick to congratulate the family on their newest additions. It isn't till the end of the night that Adrien manages to talk to Marinette. Before he can say anything though he notices the familiar ring on Marinette's hand. He mutters out My Lady, something he hasn't said in years. Marinette sighs, shaking her head looking at him sadly. 

Marinette- You could've been so much more Chaton. So much more, now if you'll excuse me. I don't want to talk with you. My goodbye to Paris was final. There are only six people from Paris that I still want to see, you're not one of them.

Marinette turns to walk away but Adrien quickly grabs her wrist holding on tightly. He tells her that they need to talk and that she owes that to him. He is surprised when not just Damian comes to her defense but all his siblings. He looks past them trying to get Marinette to listen to reason but she isn't even acknowledging him. She is comforting her twins who are hugging her tightly glaring at Adrien through tears.

That's the last time Adrien saw her in person after he got thrown out with Lila. Both banned from any Wayne galas or functions.

@chocolateherringtacofan

[fadedseas]

lessons.

nick amaro x fem!reader

summary: you get held hostage during a confrontation with a serial rapist - feelings ensue

tw: guns, violence, mentions of rape, cursing

(gif not mine but good lord, that expression...)

you knew there was an intrinsic reason you hated school. you knew it was a mistake to ever return to a classroom again. you knew this notion was affirmed as a serial rapist pressed his gun deeper into your skull so hard that you could feel the metal ring of the barrel.

there was something about the stuffiness of a classroom, the monotonous drone of an underpaid and overworked public school teacher (or that of an overpaid and underworked tenured professor) and the unrelenting stiffness of academia that made your skin crawl and your muscles twitch. it was probably why you had tried to get out as soon as possible. college as a scholarship kid with the four years passing quickly in a blur of all-nighters, coffee hangovers and then sweet relief during graduation. you had signed up for the police academy before the ink on your degree was even dry. and now you’re here. 

“now let’s just stay calm,” you closed your eyes at nick’s voice, trying to allow the deep tenor of his voice permeate your bones and calm your trembling. you hadn’t allowed yourself to make eye contact with him ever since the perp had grabbed you right when you had walked in. 

“i know you don’t want to do this.” nick moved slow, his muscles deceptively relaxed under his white button down as he moved slowly towards you and the professor. 

it was supposed to be a cut and dry case. a student from hudson university had walked into a squad room on a wednesday morning reporting a rape, her arms around her middle as if she were holding herself together. you and nick had pounded the pavement, interviewing classmates, boyfriends, administration officials that seemed less than pleased to have the nypd scaring off prospective students and donors. and one name kept appearing time and time again. professor daniel hershaw. english literature. tenured for the past fifteen years. 

“you really think it might be him? he’s the image of a family man. mentor. i mean the guy makes model planes for godssake - he’s a walking cliche.” you mused 

“one thing you learn on this job - most of the time, we’re not pulling rapists off the street. they hunt where they’re trusted.” nick said as he handed you a coffee from the coffee cart with his lips curved into a sad smile. your heart jumped as your fingers brushed. and oh. yes. that was another thing that was happening.

liv had assigned you and nick as partners given that you were the newest recruit and he was one of the senior members of the team. it was late nights, terrible coffee, greasy chinese food and floods of case notes that turned stagnant work chatter into deeper, more revealing conversations. you learned about his tendency to dance to the cuban music station on the radio (”we can work on your moves rookie”), his secret love for musicals, his divorce that had ended a year ago with an aggressive custody battle and long negotiations for weekends and holidays with his daughter, zara. you had learned more about his family, about zara’s obsession with anything disney, about his mother and her fretting, about his father and his tendency to communicate with his fists that made nick’s rage swell whenever your team handled a case involving women with black eyes and voices weak from sobs. 

and he learned of you. of your love for terrible reality tv shows and home cooking blogs that made you way too optimistic of your own cooking skills (”damn rookie, you burned water? i’ll have to teach you how to cook some ropa vieja someday - we’ll work up to it”); of your nightmares about each victim you���ve seen from your years in homicide and how their last expressions have been etched into your memory; of your parents and their incessant pushing for college and their disappointment when you joined the force. 

and you learned about the strong curve of his arms as he held you in his arms the first time you had shot and killed a perp who was raising a gun at you. the smell of his cologne and old spice filling your lungs as you tried to steady your breath. the flutter of his lips against your ear as he whispered that it was going to be ok. you learned about the roughness of his voice when he called you, late at night after drinking away his sorrows of his previous marriage at the bar and you learned about how he nursed his his hangovers the subsequent day when you curled up with him on his couch, not quite touching, after you had come over the night before to make sure he had gotten home safe and didn’t choke on his own vomit. you learned about the unfamiliar pressure of your chest as you realized that somehow, somewhere down the line of cold morning rides around the city, warm coffee, inside jokes, and progressively lingering stares across the squad room - you were in love. 

and now you were learning about his hostage negotiation skills.

it was a mistake to have spoken to the professor’s wife before you arrived at the classroom. she seemed entirely too calm about the matter, methodically pouring you and nick tea as she answered your question in short, snipped sentences. you made sure to note the gun cabinet as you left through the front door. you didn’t note the cell phone in her hand as she closed the door behind you. 

“stay back or i swear i’ll shoot her.” professor hershaw’s hand trembled as he kept pressing the metal into your head. 

“ok! ok! i’m staying back.” nick stopped his progress towards you. you could see the slight shake of his legs from the tension. 

“put your weapon down!” the professor barks behind you. 

 nick lifts his hands and your breath caught in your throat as he slowly kneels places his gun on the floor. he wasn’t wearing a bulletproof vest. you hadn’t expected a confrontation like this. he was completely open and exposed to a man with a gun.

since you had worked closely with the dead prior to this position, you had often thought about how you would die. you knew it was possible you could die in the line of duty. hundreds did every day. but you didn’t think it would be here. in front of nick. in front of the man you’ve been in love with for the past year. you didn’t think it would be before he taught you how to dance or cook or whether he would ever fix the radiator in his car. before you ever felt his lips against your and whether that would feel as slow and passionate as you had often fantasized it would. before you even had the chance to tell him how you felt. so many plot lines unfulfilled. so many questions left unanswered. but at the moment, all you could think about was how you wanted to look into his eyes once more before you died.

“you’re a good man. you got kids - good ones. i’ve met them -” nick’s tone was placating, slow.

“don’t talk about my children!” the professor jerked his gun, knocking your head a bit to the side, “i know they’re good. i raised them. better than the whores that walk through these halls. in these classrooms.”

“yea. yea i understand professor. it’s unfair - all of them just get to walk around like they own the place. like there’s no consequences for them -”

“exactly,” you could feel his spittle on the back of your head, “i showed them the lesson they deserved.” 

nick’s eyes moved from the perp to meet yours. and a shudder of warmth flowed through you as you saw fear, anger, determination - and something else that as more than you could process at the moment. but you did catch his slight nod. “that’s right. you punished them. rightfully so. because - it’s like you wrote about right? ‘Vengeance comes from the individual and punishment from God.’“

"you - you read victor hugo?” the professor stuttered, his arm slacked slightly in shock and there it was. you immediately ripped yourself from his arms as he staggered back in surprise. you dived for the floor as you heard the professor’s shout echo on the walls of the lecture hall and a gunshot. and then silence. 

you scrambled up, drawing your weapon quickly, your heart in your chest, terrified at what you might see. 

“call a bus!” you felt your entire body relax as you saw nick towering over the professor with his gun drawn and a bullet wound in the professor’s shoulder. 

later, much later, after you had been subject to medical exams by ems (albeit quite reluctantly) with nick hovering behind the paramedic’s shoulder like an unfriendly poltergeist that radiated anxiety, after liv had ordered you to take a few days, after you had returned to the squad room to fill out some paperwork in nick’s car as the both of you sat in heavy silence with too many things left unsaid between you two. you finally had a moment alone with your partner. 

most of the team had left with liv retiring to her office to have a quick call with the babysitter and say goodnight to noah. fin had clapped you on the shoulder and amanda had stopped by with coffee and an offer to let her know if you needed anything before she left to take care of the kids. the night shift had transferred in and you were finishing up the last words of the report when you sensed a presence and looked up. nick was standing by your desk, his lips in a firm line and brow furrowed. 

“can we talk?” he gestured towards the bunks. your heart flipped as you nodded, scribbling your signature onto the paperwork and shutting the file.

nick closed the door behind you. and you waited until the silence between you became unbearable.

“thank you for everything today nick. i mean - you saved my life. i could have died today and -”

“i know.” his voice seemed unnaturally loud in the quiet room. nick paced the floor, his hands gripping at his thick, dark hair. “i know you could’ve died. and i can’t stop seeing it. there’s just - i can’t describe how i felt watching him touch you. seeing how afraid you were. and how f**king helpless i was when all i wanted to do was just take your place - and when i finally got him away from you - i just wanted to -” he collapsed on a bunk and covered his eyes with his palms. 

you moved towards him, placing your hands on his shoulders, feeling the crisp fabric of his shirt crinkle under the heat of your hands. 

“you just wanted to what?”

nick lifted his head to meet your gaze, “you know you’re my partner. and there’s nothing i wouldn’t do to protect you. you’ve been there through everything this past year and i kept telling myself that i didn’t deserve everything you’ve been doing for me - didn’t deserve you.”  

you inhaled sharply, “nick - “

“i love you. there, i said it. and that was all i could think about today. losing someone else in my life that i love.” he sighed, rubbing his hand across his face, “i’ve been in love with you since that christmas party when you walked in with discount boy george - “

“kevin,” you automatically corrected the name of your old friend from college that you had brought as a date. 

“and you were just so beautiful. and i know that i don’t deserve you. but i just couldn’t stop wanting you. hoping for you. and it’s so selfish -”

he never got to finish his sentence. because by that point you had fully processed his words. you framed his face in your hands, bent down and pressed your lips against his. 

and suddenly all you could think, feel or taste was nick and his mouth moving against yours - warm, firm, steady - just like him. you were pushed back as nick got up from the bunk, his hands gripping your waist. you separated for a moment, drawing back to look into his eyes. beautiful brown. just like you never thought you would ever see again. 

and then nick pushed his body against yours, pressing you against the wall of the bunk room, his lips sweeping the corners of your mouth before exploring down your neck. 

“f**k - i thought i was going to lose you.” he growled, puncturing each word with a kiss and a nip at your neck. you gasped, your fingers diving deep into his hair. 

“never - you’ll never lose me nick. i never want to be apart from you.” 

nick dragged his face up to your, pulling you into a ferocious kiss, dominating you as his tongue swept through your mouth. his hands, large and seemingly burning, explored your back, and you shivered his his fingers played with the hem of your shirt. 

“everything about you,” his lips were everywhere, your hair, forehead, cheeks, “i cannot lose - do you understand me mi alma.” he closed his eyes, muttering in spanish as he held you close.  

you nodded, feeling intoxicated in his presence, his smell, the feeling of his body against yours. your hands gripped his shirt pulling him to you, anchoring yourself in the storm of his affection, “i got you. i love you too nick. i’m ok. i’m going to be ok.” you repeated the last sentence as nick’s body slowly went lax. 

he pressed his forehead to yours, and your breath caught at the vulnerability in his expression. “i know you’re going to be ok. it’ll just take a while before i get the image of you held at gunpoint out of my head every second of the day.” 

you smiled, pressing your hand against his cheek, “then i’ll be right beside you. reminding you that i’m right here.” his lips twitched as he grasped one of your hands from his chest, sweeping kisses across his knuckles.

“i know quierida.” 

you both stood in silence for a moment, basking in the presence of each other and the feelings you had just released. your heart felt lighter than it had in a very long time, and the butterflies in your stomach settled as nick’s body heat calmed you. 

“i’m tired, and i want to go home. come with me?” your request was bold but you trusted nick more than anyone to keep you safe. and you weren’t looking forward to the nightmares you knew would be resurfacing.

“i wouldn’t be anywhere else.” nick pressed kisses across your hairline. 

you both exited the bunks, and tried to suppress the red that bloomed across your faces. liv was exiting her office with her coat on and her bag slung on her shoulder. she raised an eyebrow as you both approached her.

“well i expect not you see you here for a few days,” she reiterated to you, “good night guys - try not to stay too late.” she turned and then paused, “and i expect the paperwork about your relationship on my desk by the time you get back from leave.” without another word, olivia exited to the elevators.

“oh god.” you placed your head in your hands, unable to stop the burning in your face and neck. nick strolled over to your desk, chuckling. 

“well she’s captain for a reason. you really can’t get anything past liv.” 

you rolled your eyes, “great, more paperwork to do then.” 

nick smiled as he swooped down for another quick kiss when no one was watching, “it’s all for a good cause. c’mon, let’s grab your bag and go. it’s late.” 

you laughed and nodded. grabbing your coat off the back of your chair and putting it on. as you and nick walked out of the station, hand-in-hand, a thought occurred to you - 

“when did you read victor hugo?”

[sxfterhearts]

wounded

24. [7:25 pm]

➳ pairing: yugyeom x reader

➳ genre/warnings: slow burn, fluff, slight bad boy!yugyeom, triggers; mentions of violence, injuries, physical abuse

➳ word count: 2,504 words

➳ summary: 24. “Just because,”

➳ author's note: this will probably turn into a two-shot, inspired by new era yugs. all creds for the gif below to @jinyoungot7​, thank you so much 💖 i’ve been sitting on this idea for a bit too long + rewrote it 3 times (bc my dumb self forgot to hit save) so i really struggled to form the right words. i hope you’ll forgive me for this! any form of feedback will be very much appreciated 💕 (also: imo = aunty)

wounded // scarred // healed

A rush of stiflingly hot summer air pummeled through the double doors of your family’s restaurant, disrupting the once cool atmosphere created by the air-cons. Being reminded of this season’s unforgiving behaviours urged you to lift the straw of your cool drink to your lips.

The sip of iced Americano, however, got stuck in your throat when you laid eyes upon the restaurant’s newest patron.

Yugyeom. Kim Yugyeom, with his untucked shirt and loosened tie, took confident strides across the dining area in the direction of the kitchen window where chefs would place finished dishes, ready to be served. Your brain short-circuited for several moments as you did nothing but watch him from your position behind the cashier. His actions were that of a regular’s as he arrived at the window and stuck his head through the opening in the wall, his hand coming up in a small wave to catch the chefs’ attention.

It was then that you registered, quite belatedly, the bruises and splotches of crimson littered across the back of his raised hand, tarnishing the fair skin.

You distinctly remembered that you saw plasters wrapped around his fingers earlier today when you sat beside him in class. His current wounds made the older ones seem like insignificant paper cuts. It wasn’t unusual for Yugyeom to turn up covered in fresh cuts and purple bruises, though. In fact, you had grown so accustomed to this that you started stocking up on assorted Rilakkuma plasters. Since the start of the semester when you were assigned the furthest desk from the whiteboard, you learned how to disinfect open wounds with saline solution and cover it properly with pastel-coloured dressings, all courtesy of Kim Yugyeom.

“Imo, can I please order takeaway? One bibim naengmyeon and one mul naengmyeon, double serving of pickled radishes, two eggs and extra-”

“Yugyeom-ah!” Your mother’s unmistakeable voice pierced through as her head peeked out of the little window, coming face to face with your desk partner. She addressed him with such a warm and motherly tone, which left you surprised and confused. “Oh, oh dear… It’s best if you take a seat, you can have your dinner here. I’ll pack Mark’s in a takeaway container, don’t you worry.”

“But Imo, I need to get back, Mark-”

“No buts, Yugyeom. I already memorised your orders. Sit down, your food will be ready in a second.”

“Imo, I can’t-” Yugyeom protested weakly, waving his hands in refusal, but you knew it was all for nought. Attempting to deny your mother’s orders were an impossible feat.

A short silence ensued. You guessed this was caused by your mother’s signature death stare. Having been on the receiving end countless times during your lifetime, you were well aware that it could make anyone’s skin rise with goose bumps or a chill to run down their spines.

“Okay, Imo…” Came Yugyeom’s resigned voice as his lanky legs dragged himself over to the vacant seat closest to the kitchen.

You took this as your cue to question your mother in detail about how she became so familiar with your class’ bad boy. Unfortunately, you were met with a curt reminder of the first-aid kit in the cupboard under the counter as she busied herself with blanching the buckwheat noodles. When she was in her element, there was no way to deviate her attention from the task at hand.

Rummaging through the cupboard, you fished out the white box with a red cross stuck on the top of the lid. Taking a few moments to steel your quickening heart rate, you were struck by the realisation that this would be the first time seeing Yugyeom outside of school in the entire five years you spent as classmates. He was a quiet boy, never uttering a single word in school, even when the teachers were asking him questions, landing him a semi-permanent spot in detention. Most days, he would plug one earphone into his ear and rest his head on folded arms, taking frequent naps as the class learned about organic compounds or Punnett squares. He was also handed multiple demerits for breaking the school rules, which ranged from getting into fist fights with seniors who bullied students for their lunch money, or wearing one too many piercings (especially the shiny ones), to refusing to get a haircut when his fringe began to grow past his eyebrows, obscuring his eyes.

The most intimidating aspect about sitting next to Kim Yugyeom, however, was that nearly every week you were forced to come face to face with angry gashes and wounds that he seemingly gained overnight. He always turned a blind eye when you succumbed to your curiosity and inspected his injuries from your seat, mere inches away. Wordlessly, you would clean the damaged skin with practiced hands, then patch it up with a plaster. Rilakkuma, you decided, suited him best. The plasters matched his yellow Rilakkuma earphones. You even caught him occasionally staring at the plasters when you stayed in class during lunch, the only period in which he remained awake.

“Y/N,” Yugyeom called as you drew the seat next to him. He stared at the table, refusing to meet your eyes.

Your ears perked up the moment your name left his lips; you were not used to this. It was a rare occurrence for the two of you to speak. Usually you went about your everyday tasks silently, with little words being exchanged. It was a silence that grew comfortable over the semester, and you found yourself appreciating the peace it brought during stressful times.

Conversations between the two of you had only started up recently. This was largely attributed to your father, who worked front of the house, being ridiculed by your classmate’s parents when they visited the restaurant. They complained about your father’s complete lack of competence when they had to wait forty-five minutes for their food to arrive, only to receive the wrong dishes in the end. Furious, they shoved the plate of food off the table and stormed out of the restaurant, not even bothering to settle the bill. Your father was left to clean up the scraps in front of all the other customers, severely damaging the restaurant’s reputation.

The classmate, a snobby, pampered girl, confronted you in school the next day by rudely pushing your books and stationery onto the floor, just like her parents did. You held back angry, frustrated tears as she ridiculed you and your family in front of all your other classmates, tearing you down to shreds. Yugyeom, rousing from his nap, caught the girl’s wrist before she had the chance to slap you across the face with a notebook.

Everyone grew quiet then. The boy had never done anything to gain attention, always preferring to remain behind the shadows in perfect silence. “Keep it down, you’re ruining my sleep.” Yugyeom hissed threateningly. She cowered in fear and backed off, never to provoke you again.

“Look up, Yugyeom.” You instructed, returning to the task at hand. With a concerned gaze, you conducted a thorough examination of his injuries. The cuts on his hands and the bruises on his knuckles were fairly standard – a quick clean and plaster should do the trick. You got to work, pulling out the alcohol-free cleansing wipes and dabbing over the torn skin with gentle fingers. The boy flinched slightly upon the first contact but behaved rather well as you continued to tend to his hands. Your gaze flitted over the two spherical scars on the underside of his left forearm as he reached forward, closing the distance between the two of you. They were cigarette burns, you figured. You could feel Yugyeom’s fingers brushing against your temples as he pushed strands of your short hair back to rest behind your ears, the tips of which glowered pink at his actions.

“What happened this time?” You asked, somewhat rhetorically. You knew full well that Yugyeom would never divulge the events that led up to his injuries, no matter how persistent you were.

He hummed in response, as though that were an appropriate answer, and scrunched up his face slightly to express his reluctance in answering your question.

The wound smack bang in the middle of his nose presented itself as a bit more of a challenge. While Yugyeom was no stranger to facial injuries, often sporting shallow cuts close to his brow or near his chin, this was much deeper; much larger. It drew unwanted attention and tarnished his otherwise handsome features.

A dull thud sounded as a bowl of cold noodles landed on the table. Your mother stood over the two of you, shaking her head as she handed you a warm towel. You accepted it, still utterly clueless about how your mother was so well acquainted with Yugyeom and his injuries. “Y/N-ah, use this to clean the wound. If it’s still bleeding a lot, apply some pressure to it.” She then turned to the boy, tutting in disapproval. “Yugyeom, I’ve always respected your privacy when you show up in my restaurant covered in cuts and bruises, but this is where I draw the line. Your injuries are getting more serious. You and I are going to have a serious talk once you finish your dinner, young man. It’s been two years and I can’t watch from the sidelines any longer, are we clear?”

You watched as Yugyeom nearly heaved out a sigh, but decided against it in the last minute. “Yes, Imo. Thank you, Imo.”

Your mother, with her hands perched atop her waist, nodded gravely before strutting over to the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone once more. A million questions swarmed in your head as Yugyeom took the towel from your hands, pressing it onto his wound as he began to devour the bowl of cold noodles. This has been going on for two years? You wondered to yourself. Two long years, and yet I’ve never even ran into him in the restaurant. There’s no way, he must’ve been here when I worked over the summer. Maybe he was just sitting in a corner, eating in silence… As usual.

“You’ve been coming her for two years?” You asked before you could stop yourself, your curiosity getting the better of you. “But why?” Why didn’t you tell me? You thought silently, the rest of the sentence unable to leave your mouth.

Yugyeom shrugged as he picked out two halved egg yolks from the boiled eggs with his chopsticks. “Just because,”

Because you pitied me? Because you were ashamed of me? Because you couldn’t face me in school without thinking about that incident caused by the girl’s parents?

“It’s not like that.” The boy said flatly, his eyes meeting yours with a resolute gaze when he noticed you withdrawing, getting lost in your thoughts. “This is the only place that sells naengmyeon all year.”

“What?” You muttered in disbelief.

“I have naengmyeon every Friday, even in winter. The food is good and I only live five minutes away.”

You nodded at his explanation. Perhaps you were overthinking the situation.

“I was also trying to hide most of my injuries from you.” He admitted in a low voice, barely audible above the white noise of the restaurant. Yugyeom took another mouthful of noodles into his mouth, chewing appreciatively as the refreshing flavours soothed his senses. “Fridays…” He paused, eyes wandering vacantly around the vicinity of the restaurant. “Fridays are gambling days for my uncle. He’ll gamble, lose, drink and come home for dinner. You know my older brother, Mark?”

“Yeah, I know Mark.” It was hard not to know about Mark. Before he graduated four years ago, rumours about him spread like wildfire throughout the entire school. The one rumour you distinctly remembered as a first-year student was that he maintained good grades by doing, for a lack of better word, favours, for his female teachers.

“Mark would rush me out of the house before our uncle got home. He acted as my uncle’s babysitter by cooking him dinner, and then as his punching bag when he had to take out his frustration. I was home once when it happened, some time last year. After that I made Mark agree for us to take turns.”

Your head started to spin as your brain worked to process this new information. “Wait so, the cuts, the bruises, the burns, all of that…?”

Yugyeom nodded, still staring beyond the double doors. The sun was beginning to set. In the back of his mind, he registered that his uncle would be home soon. “Honestly, Mark had it worse, especially in the first few months after.”

He meant after his parents passed away two years ago. A car accident. They were coming home from their anniversary dinner. It was raining. There was a truck going around the corner at insane speeds, towards their car. It swerved. Their car plummeted off a cliff. They died instantly, the aunties gossiped as they filtered in and out of the restaurant. Poor kids, they would remark, casting pitied looks at the brothers.

“Your mother, she’s really something else.” He said with a small smile while picking up a few pieces of cucumber and radish. “The first time I came in, the restaurant was about to close. She took one look at me and forced me to press a piece of frozen beef on my bruise. She talked to me the entire time she was dressing my wound, I swear my ears nearly fell off.”

That sounded exactly like your mother. She loved to nag, but it always came from a place of genuine concern. “Imagine being her daughter.” You joked, grateful for the slight comedic relief from the heavy nature of the words you shared. It was one of the few proper conversations you had with your desk partner.

“Sometimes I have to remind myself that she isn’t my mother.” Yugyeom said, his tone so broken and devastated that you felt your heart ache within your chest.

You placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder, trying your best to provide him with some form, any form of comfort. “I’m sure she cares for you like her own son. Especially since she’s been making you dinner every Friday for the past two years.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“She even nurses your injuries.”

“But you do that too.” He pointed out without missing a beat, a teasing glint in his eyes as he finally turned to look at you.

“I…”

“Nevermind, forget I said anything.” Yugyeom replied with a knowing grin, returning back to his dinner.

I care about you too, a lot. You confessed silently, resting your heavy head on your palms as you watched him eat. The golden shine of the sun casted upon his pointed features. Despite the old scars and the new wounds, he glowed.

A part of you realised that after so many months, you had finally broken-down Kim Yugyeom’s iron walls. School would be very different from now on.

[saffronwritings]

Be There

warnings: Parental in Hospital due to health, cursing

pairing: katsuki bakugou x reader 

A/N: I get very nervous thinking about posting my work on tumblr but I figured I'd give a whirl. Please be nice :)  Also I do not own the banner and if you want me to credit you let me know!!

Bakugou had noticed that you had been off from the moment you stepped into class this morning. Your normal cheerful demeanor had been shifted into one that was just complacent. Something about the way you forced yourself to talk to the rest of your classmates had bothered him immensely.

Although he would never admit it, he cared deeply for you. He had fallen for you little charms and even thought that you quirk was rather handy, being able to manipulate others with your hypnotic voice. There had been times where he thought you were using your powers against him, but plenty of times you had reassured the hot head that you only use it when necessary.

You had quickly found your way into the Bakusquad, as you had quickly bonded with Jirou and Mina. Not only that, but you seemed to not mind how ill-tempered Bakugou was. Even with his outbursts towards you at times, you seemed to just smile and act as if he had not hurt your feelings. He had noticed the times he had and made sure to apologize in solitude because he dared not show his soft side to the rest of his friend group. You personally enjoyed seeing these softer sides of the angry boy as you felt like he could confide in you. ‘

However, today was so much different. How could you have changed so quickly overnight and what was the cause of it? Did someone from another class say something to upset you once again? Those general studies students tended to say that your quirk was cheating and that you did not deserve your spot in class 1-A. Bakugou had time and time again scared away those sidekicks into submission. You had not said anything that was bothering you, and although the rest of the Bakusquad seemingly had not noticed, Bakugou did.

He stalked after you once class had let out and he had grabbed your wrist while in passing, dragging you into a vacant classroom. This had startled you enough to let out an embarrassed squeak. He closed the door behind him so no wondering eyes could disturb the two of you. “What’s going on Bakugou?” You asked confused, still seemingly dazed. “Tell me what’s wrong.” He bluntly stated, cutting straight to what was bothering him.

Your gaze suddenly shifted from confusion to acknowledgement. Of course, he was going to notice something was wrong. He was scarily perceptive. You waved your hand in front of you and attempted to fake laugh at his question. “Silly, Katsuki.” You teased, attempted to brush past him back out into the hallway. “Just tired from studying last night is all. We have a lot of our final tests coming up.” You lied, hand on the sliding door. He just scoffed and you could feel his eye roll even without looking at the blonde boy.

He watched you carefully as you stalked out of the classroom, avoiding the confrontation he was attempting to have. However, he was not going to force you to tell him anything you did not feel comfortable with. It was not his place to demand information from you. The last thing he needed was you pushing him as to why he wanted to know what was wrong. The thought alone almost set off tiny explosions in his hands. He wanted to squash whatever was bothering you to bring that smile of yours back onto your lovely face.

Kirishima had bothered him from time and time again about asking you out for a date. No matter how many times the explosive boy tried to correct him, Kirishima knew Bakugou was smitten for you. He kept it to himself, as much as he wanted to tell the rest of the squad. Bakugou scoffed and walked out of the classroom moments after you. He caught up with you and the rest of his classmates in the lunchroom. His apatite was gone though, watching you go about your day in a lackadaisical manner. Watching miserably from the sidelines had affected his own attitude.

“Jeez Bakugou, if you’re not hungry today, I’ll gladly take your food for you.” Kaminari perked up, staring at his uneaten lunch. “Piss off, Sparky.” Bakugou barked back immediately. “You’ve been so crabby today, so much so more than usual.” Kaminari replied, backing away from the blonde. He hated to admit it, but the stupid lightning bolt was right. Was he really going to let your bad day also affect him? Frustrated, he attempted to try and eat part of his lunch. When you gave him a concerning look, he just turned away and ate in silence.

Things really took a turn for the worse during your hero training. The two of you had been paired up together in a simulation fight. You had to retrieve a citizen from a collapsing building and fight off your other classmates. You were up against Momo and Ojiro. This normally would have been a cinch for the two of you, especially with how well you worked together. Even though your quirk relied on consciousness and influence, your combat skills were above the rest. Well, aside from Izuku and Katsuki that is. However, with your mind out of focus, you were easily overtaken by that Creation quirk of Momo’s. Aizawa had called the match and suddenly you heard multiple explosions go off.

“Bakugou, you need to chill.” Kirishima said, trying to lighten the mood up. “No! We lost because the Siren girl can’t get her head together!” He shouted, staring daggers over to you. You flinched back at his outburst. “Why can’t you just get over whatever it is you’re upset about and do your damned job as a hero! You can’t be this out of focus in the field or no agency is going to take you!” He barked more. There was silence throughout the entire class. You turned away to head towards the changing rooms when Present Mic had arrived at the simulation grounds, calling your name. The look of concern only etched itself further on your face seeing the look in Present Mic’s face. Everyone’s attention then turned from Bakugou to you. Watching as Mic whispered something to and watching your face change from upset to distraught.

Immediately you were quickly following Present Mic out of the training arena. The class erupted in questions, wondering what was going on. Aizawa quieted the class and tried to get the rest of his students back in order. “Listen, we need to finish this lesson. Unless you all want extra homework.” He threatened. The class quieted and returned to the lesson. However, something was not sitting right with Bakugou. Almost instantly he was regretting taking his anger out on you. “What do you think Y/N was taken away for?” Jirou asked quietly while watching Todoroki and Ochaco go against Hagakure and Iida. “I don’t know, it looked serious though.” Kirishima noted, with Kaminari nodding along to his statement. “I hope she’s okay.” Mina whispered. “She will be. At least I hope she will be.” Bakugou thought.

The next morning was even worse. Bakugou had barely slept a wink. He had texted you after school apologizing for exploding on you, and that he was just worried about you. You did not respond to his message. Even worse, the text message was not even opened. When he arrived in class, you were missing from your usual spot. If there was anyone who was almost as stubborn as Iida about getting to class early, it was you. “Is Y/N not here yet?” Kirishima asked from behind Bakugou. He had not even noticed he was standing and staring idly at your desk. “No.” He answered before going over and sitting down at his own desk.

The rest of the squad had arrived and found themselves gathering around Bakugou’s desk like they did every morning. Usually he hated this, but when you were around, he did not mind it as much. Your presence was clearly missing, and it was obvious that it bothered him. “Had no one heard from Y/N? I tried texting her last night, however, she didn’t answer me.” Mina had asked, looking at her phone once again. “Nothing on my end, I sent her a text as soon as we got out of school.” Jirou interjected. “Same here.” Kirishima chimed in. Bakugou stayed quiet, only getting more worried. He had tuned out their continuing conversation until Aizawa had entered the room. The Bakusquad had quickly dispersed and sat in their assigned seats.

There was a grim look on Aizawa’s face, and it had sent an unsettling feeling into Bakugou’s stomach. Once the class had quieted down, Aizawa had taken in a deep breath before addressing the classroom. “Y/N will not be attending school for the rest of the week. Yesterday her mother was admitted into the hospital and is in critical condition. She will be staying by her side in the hospital.” He stated, making the class gasp in surprise. Bakugou’s heart could have leap out of his throat. You could hear a pin drop from the class being so quiet. “We will write a condolence card for her and send it to her address by the end of the week.” He continued to speak but all Bakugou could hear was ringing in his ears. Had he heard his teacher correctly? Your mother was extremely ill. You had to have seen her health declining and had not said a word to anyone. Up until yesterday, you had played it off as if everything in your homelife was okay.

Aizawa had changed the subject back to what he was teaching yesterday. He was reviewing the material that was covered the day before. However, Bakugou could not stop the crackling in his hands. He slammed his hands on his desk and stood up. The eruptions in his hands going off, burning a spot on his desk. A few students jumped, however, most of them were used to Bakugou’s outbursts. Except, this time he was dead quiet. Everyone turned around to look at him, but before Aizawa could say a word, Bakugou was walking out of the classroom. “Bakugou! Where are you going?” Kirishima yelled after him. However, Bakugou tuned him out. His pace quickened as he traveled through the school. He did not bother to stop at his locker or change into his normal shoes. As soon as he stepped foot outside of the school gates, he broke into a sprint.

You had invited him over to your house once. Asking him if he could help you study for one of your exams. He found his feet doing all the work as he raced towards where he knew you lived. He was not sure what he was going to do once he arrived, but he knew he had to be there. Before he knew it, he noticed the street coming to an end and he knew around the corner was your house. Suddenly, he got extremely nervous, just leaving school to go comfort you. Would you even let him after yelling at you yesterday? He had to try. He slowed his pace as he approached your house.

You were sitting on your front step, weeping quietly with your head in your hands. His heart broke in half seeing you in such a state. You were just beyond the gate, but he was so hesitant to push the gate open. When he heard your soft crying turn into full on sobs, that is when he found the courage to push the gate open and was by your side in the matter of seconds. Before you could even process what was happening, he had pulled you into his embrace and held onto you tightly. “Katsuki??” You asked in surprise. “I’m sorry. I should not have yelled at you yesterday. You needed me to be there for you. So, now I am. And I want you to cry. I want you to feel safe around me. I’m never going to let you feel that way again.” He explained, holding onto you as if he was afraid to lose you too.

You started to cry harder and gripped onto him tightly. The two of you had stayed like that for a while. He just let you cry because that is what you needed. He dares not judge you for feeling the way you did right now. He was going to be there for you from now on. “Thank you.” You finally whispered once you had caught your breath from heavily crying. “Don’t thank me, dummy.” He answered back, “It’s what I should have done from the get-go. When Aizawa told the class what happened, I flung myself out of my chair to get my ass here.”.

“But why?” You asked, almost bewildered. You had pulled away from his embrace to wipe your wet eyes. You felt his calloused hand carefully caress your cheek, wiping away a stray tear that had fallen from your bloodshot eyes. “Do I have to spell it out to you?” He huffed. In that moment, you had noticed his face turn a bright red. Even though you had just lost your mother and your heart yearned for her, for just a moment you had felt it flutter. “This has to be the shittiest timing, Y/N. I don’t want to take away from your pain, in any way…” He started to say, tripping over his words. You immediately pulled him into another embrace, throwing him off guard.

“You will never take anything away from me. Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for always caring about me, Katsuki.” You whispered, making the boy even more flustered. He huffed in protest, but he knew he enjoyed the attention. The two of you separated from the embrace and Katsuki felt bold enough to lean in to kiss you, softly but a bit forcefully on the lips. This action truly shocked you for a moment. He quickly pulled back realizing what he had just done. “I shouldn’t have done that. I should go.” He said quickly, standing up from his seated position. Before he could bolt out the gate, he heard you say his name. He turned around only to find your face inches from his, making him blush immensely. You pecked him on the cheek and grabbed his hand. “Let’s go inside, yeah?” You asked. And although your eyes had been puffy and bloodshot from crying, snot was dripping down your nose, and it looked like you had not slept in days, he still found you so incredibly beautiful.

“Tch. Fine.” He grumbled, following in your lead, but not letting go of your hand.

[akimmito]

They thought they won #2

Well, here is the second part, I think it was weak in comparison, but it is not terrible either. It is acceptable.

Taken from the indications of @chocolate1721.

I hope you like it. If there are errors, at some point I will correct it.

----------

Tagged: @dawnwave16 @pirats-pizzacanninibles @mochegato @silvergold-swirl

----------

On Bruce's recommendation, the girls wait four days before showing up at school. Four days that were used to build a case with the French School Board, collect and deliver physical evidence of abuse and bullying. Tim did his fair share by involving every person who could have been harmed by Lila's lies, getting collaboration from many of those affected (being the victims of the teenager's most outrageous lies).

They also took advantage of those four days to think about what they will do when the chaos with the director and their teacher in charge are set, they will be adrift and that will be unfortunate. Neither of them wants to waste time due to the incompetence of a teacher. The safest option is to request an immediate transfer to another class, preferably with a serious teacher who doesn't allow similar situations.

Marinette also took advantage of those four days to better relate to the Wayne boys, although she has a special connection with Tim (she's sure it wasn't hallucination induced by lack of sleep). They talked about many topics, but found brain games and all kinds of riddles in common (she advantage and led him to Ladybug's reasoning to solve a problem with the most random object possible; the fourth day hhe understood the game when he saw the heroin hit to the villain with a bicycle chain). She even had time to drag Damian to Kagami's house to get to know each other (she realized his mistake when she had to prevent them from killing themselves in the middle of the fight and take Damian to the bakery).

Neither Chloe nor Marinette were excited to see their classmates, but they saw it as a necessary evil to deliver the coup de grace. And that does excite Chloe, that morning she woke up eager to see her revenge come true.

The class had already started when Marinette and Chloe entered the classroom, the two families waiting at the door. Only Bruce Wayne went to the Principal's office to have a talk about responsibility and professionalism.

"Good morning, Miss Bustier," Mariette greets with a kindness that, for her smile, it shows that she is not entirely sincere. The surprised look of the woman only manages to generate irritation in the back of the girl's mind.

"Why have they been missing class? It is very irres..."

Chloe almost jumps on Caline, but is stopped by Richard, who sneaks into the classroom to prevent the young woman from attacking the teacher (however deserved it is). In the back, Tom has an arm over Sabine's shoulder to prevent her from attacking too, his calming touch is enough to discourage her from doing so; Damian snorts and Jason swallows his comment. The class is ready to react when Marinette responds, her brow furrowed and a disappointed look she only gives Chat.

"You abandoned us at the mercy of the Joker in Gotham, we were rescued by the Batclan. You didn't worry or look for us, nor did you bother to call the police and you leave the country without us. "Marinette says and her gaze sharpens towards her teacher.

"Marinette, you need to be more responsible. The Joker is very dangerous and trying to protect two criminals was silly. Furthermore, Lila had to return to Paris to help her mother with her next diplomatic trip. "Caline responds.

Chloe almost got free of Dick and Tim must grab Jason to prevent him from taking out the gun he saw him keep before leaving the hotel. Tom helps to contain his wife and avoid any movement from Damian (who considers that someone so stupid would be more beneficial if she was dead and not simply out of sympathy with the girls).

Bruce arrives just in time to hear Caline's wonderful words, the cheap excuse she gives them to leave two students behind. He stands in front of the woman, managing to intimidate her with his mere presence.

"If the student had previous commitments that clash with the itinerary and its possible setbacks, why was she included in the trip? Two students were in danger, with or without the Joker, Gotham is dangerous on its own and leaving them abandoned with no chance of leaving the country is negligent just for prioritizing one student. What if there hadn't been only two? If it was half your class would you still prioritize that one student? ”Bruce is relentless and doesn't allow her to respond. He's furious, burning with hot anger ready to burn her alive.

They all hold their breath when a purple butterfly appears and heads straight for Bruce, but Marinette gets in the way and lets the Akuma into one of her hair bands, the purple mask appears. Sabine and Chloe break free and start talk with her.

"Maribug, you must fight him. You're stronger than him. ”Chloe grabs her shoulders, but Marinette is focused on her thoughts, listening to Hawkmoths speech.

"You can't let him win. "Sabine entreaty.

Tim also approaches, but says nothing. His gaze meets hers, a sign of recognition and that she is nowhere near being manipulated, but no one else realizes it.

"Yes ... but if you give me those powers, I will go after you and no one else." Mariette smiles at Tim when the butterfly leaves her. Everyone is relieved, nobody wanted an Akuma at that time; the class, on the other hand, is surprised by the ease with which it rejected the butterfly and the white color with which it was released.

Adrien smiles, showing misplaced pride.

"You are amazing, Marinette, that's why you are our everyday Ladybug, you even reject Hawkmoth."

Marinette turns to Adrien, her sense of calm withered by the model's comment.

"I may have rejected it, but it would be better if I wasn't forced to do it in the first place." She frowns at the blonde, who is still smiling completely oblivious to the passive-aggressive tone of the young woman.

"We saw that you can handle it and that ..." A slap silences him, everyone looks at Chloe in surprise.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SO FOOLY! DO YOU KNOW HOW PAINFUL IT IS TO FIGHT AGAINST CONTROL? WHERE HAVE YOUR BRAIN CELLS LEFT, AH? YOU SHOULD GO FOR THEM, YOU'RE UNDERSTANDING NOTHING."

"How dare you, you fucking bitch ?!" Alya gets up ready to hit Chloe, but Jason  gets in the way.

"Though it would be amazing to see her take your shit out of you."

"Jason!" Dick scolds him for the choice of words, Jason barely gives him a funny look.

"We have more important matters. "

Tim just denies. Chloe smirks, but returns her attention to what's important.

"When does the School Board arrive?" she smiles an arrogant smile at the teacher, who loses her face color much faster than when Bruce faced her. "What's the matter lawyers of the celebrities abaout Lie-la lied to? They should be here by now. "

"Hah! You're just words, Lila is not a liar and this whole show will explode in your face, Chloe. "Alya answers smugly, sure nothing will happen. She has not even called her father, she has nothing. "Stop wanting to attract attention like that, it's pathetic. "

Lila just frowns, the presence of Bruce Wayne only indicates future problems. Damn to Marinette in her thoughts.

"Wayne's attorneys are here, though, right? "She doesn't need to receive a verbal confirmation, the arrival of the police to the classroom accompanied by two men in suits is enough proof." Yeah, I took so long to convince her to press charges for assault, harassment, and damage to private property, but here we are; They will file lawsuits for destroying Maribug's room and, best of all, we have video evidence and photos of everything destroyed. I appreciate that she's so paranoid that everything important always safeguards her in two layers of security. ”She smirks, after all, the lawyers called the parents of everyone involved first and  it's a sight worth appreciating.

The lawyers decide to intervene, unwilling to be part of the girl's delight.

"We regret to inform that the following people should co

"That's a lot, Mari. Don't you think about his parents?"

"Did they think of mine? How much money would it cost to restore my room and all my things? They didn't, I'll not. I'm tired of always turning the other cheek so they hit me too. ”Tim places a hand on her shoulder, before Dick squeezes her into his arms and she laughs, forgetting for a moment the annoyance towards Adrien.

me with us, their parents have already been informed and are waiting: Lila Rossi, Alya Cessaire, Kim Le Chien, Max Kante and Sabrina Raincomprix. We wait for you in the teachers room. "

The officer Raincomprix looks with disappointment at his daughter and only gestures for her to follow them, he will leave his other officers in charge to arrest the teacher for child abuse and neglect.

Everything from there is chaos, the police officers take the teacher after telling her their rights and the class gets out of control, Adrien just watches his friends go towards an inevitable demand. Look at Marinette, she looks indifferent to the facts; He doesn't understand how everything got to the point of involving lawyers.

"Marinette, are you serious?"

"Seriously what, Agreste?" Marinette is hard in her treatment towards him, Chloe won the blow to him, but nobody will gain the words to him. Damian frowns at the blonde, waiting for him to say something that will bury him a thousand meters underground.

Everyone is waiting, the students in the Bustier class don't understand how everything got to that point. They are surprised, but also embarrassed for not noticing Marinette's absence, because despite not being the sweet girl they knew (and she's, but not with them), she would have looked for them and would has confronted whoever it was to find them. They want to say something, but they have a lump in their throats. Knowing that there will be legal problems for the things that they considered insignificant for Marinette, because they believed that the girl was worse ... Actually, it's the logical solution if someone is attacking you, especially if you have real evidence. So why did Lila refuse to stop the problem if she had as much evidence as she claimed?

Of course, even they can say that Adrien's question is totally out of place.

"Are you really going to sue them? They are your f..."

"They are not my friends. They destroyed my room, Agreste, they destroyed my work. Do you know how much the designs cost? Your father is a designer, you should know… I had to do everything again and put the materials that were lost to complete the works FROM MY POCKET. In a week I did a full month's work… ”Marinette replicate Tim's angry expression, making Adrien nervous by the annoyed glances that are directed at him. "And I'll make them give back every penny of the damaged material. "

"That's a lot, Mari. Don't you think about his parents?"

"Did they think of mine? How much money would it cost to restore my room and all my things? They didn't, I'll not. I'm tired of always turning the other cheek so they hit me too. ”Tim places a hand on her shoulder, before Dick squeezes her into his arms and she laughs, forgetting for a moment the annoyance towards Adrien.

"Look, Adrinkis, if they don't learn that their actions have consequences now, they'll just keep it up and eventually go to prison for something like that. You imagine? It would be wonderful to see it, sure, but that's not the point here."

"But…"

"If you say something that could come out of Bustier's mouth, I'll hit you again, and this time it will be with my fist." Adrien raises his hands and is silent. "And that would be very little, seeing that you knew everything and preferred to remain silent. Although they were not subtle when they attack on Maribug. You validated it and that, darling, is a thousand times worse than having fallen into the clutches of a liar. "

"Did you know?" Nino asks, he is not entirely sure what is true or lie, but if it's true that Lila is a liar (he is already assured that she is a bully) and his best friend has known all that time, oh, the pain. He already feel bad enough in the whole uncertain situation.

At some point, Sabine and Tom go out to meet the parents of the boys who destroyed their daughter's room. They must deal with it.

"I don't understand why you care so much about these ceporros, they are not worth your time." Damian looks deathly at everyone, who seems truly unintelligent if their idiot faces are an indication of their IQ. Dick can't help but snort.

"What?" Nathaniel is the only one who has a verbal reaction to what was said, he didn't understand the word, but he assumes that it was an insult.

"You see?"

"Yeah..." Marinette sighs and smiles at the boy, who walks away from her with an expression of disgust.

"Come on, you like her." Dick doesn't allow him to walk away and hugs him by the shoulders with an amused but affectionate smile. He has noticed his behavior around her, actively looking for her because he considers her nice, in a way; the same way he came to connect with the Teen Titans, so it was with her. He found something in common as an initial union and in four days, a record, he managed to form a linkage (small, but it exists).

"Now. I think we should go for a coffee. ”Tim approaches Marinette and whispers in her ear, she nods in response. "But before, if you are so kind to check twitter, in the @NotAddictedToCoffee account you will find a link to an article in the France International Journal where they express the worrying situation of parental neglect, I think you will find it interesting. Maybe you recognize the case they are exposing... So, coffee?" He turns to Marinette and she smiles. His job is done, pity for Chloe who wanted a true social massacre and they won't even let her be present for she watches the lives of the defendants break in front of them. Oh, but the Wayne boys are sure to be able to access the surveillance cameras in the teacher's lounge. She turns to the only one who knows how to help her, Jason.

"Hey, Todd. I need your help. ”He turns to her with a raised eyebrow, she gestures for him to lean. "I want access to the surveillance cameras in the teachers' room, can you? "

"Do you want to see their teary faces at the lawsuit?"

"Obviously. "

The two smile and as casually as they can after a suspicious conversation, they leave the classroom. Richard follows them to prevent them from causing trouble.

While all the students take out their phones to confirm.

Marinette and Tim also leave, followed by Damian. Only Bruce stays for a moment, but then decides it's best to notify a teacher for review.

Adrien knows from the beginning who the person in the example is, the implication was clear. All the time they read, an awkward silence surrounds them, a teacher arrives while they are busy on their phones.

"Very good. I will be in charge until the Board of Education decides what will happen to the class. "The class pays no real attention. They are focused watching the approach presented in the article, where they explicain how neglect causes children to seek any type of validation going to any extreme, without it being exactly something to justify the person's actions and that should be treated with a psychologist to avoid It gets out of control and affects the lives of those around you.

There is even a cited psychologist and an expert in criminal pathologies. Everyone is livid the more they read, it's an extensive and very detailed article that aims to raise awareness, but above all, expose Lila in a subtle way to avoid repercussions for publicly humiliating her, now it's a shadow that will not go away and will remain in the criminal files of the girl, which is enough to keep an eye on her (especially with the demands of some people who are almost affected by those lies).

"It was Lila, wasn't it?" Someone asks.

"Yes ... how strong.And Marinette, oh God, I'm not surprised that she hates us. "

"Guys, Marinette doesn't hate us. She's too good for that. "Adrien tries to reassure his companions.

"You have no right, Adrien! You knew it, man, you knew it! And did you let him use us like that?" Nino now is experiencing true treason. He feel very hurt.

"I wasn't hurting anyone ..."

"AND WHAT ARE THESE DEMANDS?! JOKES?! REACT, ADRIEN. HE LIED US AND HANDLED TO THE POINT OF ACHIEVING THAT FOUR OF OUR COMPANIONS DID SOMETHING ILLEGAL. THEY COULD GO TO PRISON FOR INVASION AND DAMAGE TO PRIVATE PROPERTY!" Nino has jumped on Adrien by grabbing his shirt, he could cry right now.

"Dammit, Agreste. Were you always so stupid?"

"Youngs, this behavior will lead to a sanction in your school record. The Board of Education will personally take care of you if you continue to display hostile behavior. "

"Whatever. Anyway, we're screwed. We hurt the only person who was always unconditional with us. "Juleka is clear with her words and regrets not having listened to her brother, she should have known, Luka is always right.

Everyone is silent, being aware of the situation more than others times.

"She will forgive us..."

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR MIND?! AIR?! Nothing we can offer her could make she forgive us, besides, did you see your new friends? She doesn't need us, least of all with the boyfriend who got herself in just five days. "Alix is realistic, overwhelmingly realistic.

Rose allows herself to cry, she wasn't actively hostile, but she knows she was purposely ignoring her under pressure from others.

"Guys…"

"Look, Agreste, don't speak to us again unless you mature. You're the worst thing in this whole thing… I can't forgive you and I'm sure you're the last person Marinette would forgive, heck, surely one day she could forgive Lila, but you, ha, never. "Alix is scathing in her words breaking Adrien's heart, though he refuses to believe that.

While in the park, Marinette guides Tim to one of her favorite cafes. She tells him about the different embarrassing moments that went through her awkwardness and he, in return, explains uncomfortable moments.

Marinette feels good, she still has to remove Adrien's Plagg ring, but at the moment, she feels good. She can face whatever comes.

-----

Thanks for reading!

[pickwickwampus]

The following is all spoilers for my fanfic. If I ever get around to writing the rest of it, then you'll spoil a lot of it for yourself by reading this.

from what I remember, the story leaves off with Mallory and her friends in the library, researching the Cracklewood Carver. They're too slow.

A few chapters ago, Mallory overheard the ghosts in the school saying:

"If the protections keep rotting—" "He believes it's dark magic, that the sacrifice is no longer necessary." "Preposterous! Dippet performed the sacrifice for many years, as did his predecessors, before him." Mallory and her friends stood frozen behind an ugly statue of a gargoyle, a statue which decided to move with a cringe-inducing grinding noise. Crap, she hoped no one heard that. "Indeed, yet it is what Albus believes." Except neither ghost looked over. The stone gargoyle finished scratching its arse, and went still. "Foolish. Darker things, beasts from beyond the—"

The ghosts in Hogwarts didn't start talking about the failing protections on the castle that week. They've been moaning about the failing protections for almost a year, since the last summoner of the Carver, Armando Dippet, died. The ghosts aren't allowed to directly tell anyone about the protections, but that doesn't prevent them from loudly talking about it where someone could overhear them.

And someone did overhear the ghosts, and figured out what they were talking about.

The protections around the castle were powered through the sacrifice of three children to the abomination Ithaqua, the beast Mallory & the Daily Prophet knows as "the Cracklewood Carver."

Previous headmasters made the sacrifice of three magical children every seven years to protect the school, but Dumbledore refused. Dumbledore also refused to go public with previous headmasters' crimes, or seek justice for the Carver's previous victims. Dumbledore wasn't interested in the ritual or what it summoned, or even the exact cost. He just understood that one of the rituals involved summoning an abomination and making a deal with it, and said, "no." He's meant to be a figure displaying cognitive dissonance and lazy thinking -- he'll paint large swaths of people with the same brush based on who their family is, and all that characterization is meant to paint him as someone who isn't even fundamentally well-meaning. He just likes to tell a story where he is, and refuses to self-reflect even up until it kills him.

For a while, the retired previous headmaster was doing the ritual without Dumbledore's permission or knowledge. But Dippet died that past February before the ritual could be completed, and now a new deal must be struck, and the ritual must be performed, otherwise Ithaqua will get its revenge on the castle and its inhabitants for breaking their bargain. (Alternatively, someone could kill Ithaqua, which is exactly what happens.) A Hogwarts student learned of the ritual and the consequences for not carrying it out, and sought to do the ritual, himself, believing Ithaqua was responsible for the visions his classmate Celeste was having of the school in smoking ruins. (Ithaqua wasn't the threat Celeste and the other seers saw.)

Few in the Wizarding World could harness the power of Divination, but all who could saw their impending doom. Hogwarts Castle was in grave danger. The portents were clear, both to the prophets and the cartomancers could see it. But the Ministry wasn't doing anything about it, claiming the diviners were all in league with Dumbledore. In this story, Voldemort stole the stone in Harry's first year, prompting Dumbledore to raise the alarm with Fudge several years early. Fudge reacted predictably, claiming Dumbledore was out for his job.

It terrified Terrence. Hogwarts was his home, a sanctuary that has stood for near a thousand years, and Celeste Avery said she saw a vision of it in ruins. And no one was doing anything about it.

If asked, Terrence would've told himself his motives were pure, to protect the school, but if he'd examined his feelings he would've realized he felt he couldn't leave the school behind. He wanted a tie to it, a means of being relevant to it, and on some level wanted recognition that he was necessary to the school.

The demon overpowered him. It preferred the deaths of wizard children liable to change the destiny of the magical world, but the wills of the previous summoners were too strong for it to get what it really wanted from them. That changed with Terrence Higgs. Ithaqua could see marks of fate around those three children — it wanted to destroy them and eat their potential. It wasn't attracted much to Rowle or Harper, but to Mallory, who drew the beast most of all, because of what she's willing to do.

The subtext around Mallory and her muggle parents is that they discovered the wizarding world, and immediately discovered that wizards had abrogated themselves of their duty to others. They had the cure to heart disease, could regrow organs and bones, prevent most kinds of illnesses, and yet muggles all around the world were still dying of those illnesses. "Secrecy" wasn't a good enough reason to them to allow the deaths of all those people. So Patricia, Tony, and Mallory agreed to use Hogwarts as a means of making potions available to muggles, Statute or no Statute.

That's a large part of why Mallory's afraid of people reading her mind, why she's tied her ability to be a "hero" to her access to the school. And that's the kind of plan Mallory thinks is a good idea when she's eleven. Within a year her plans will include the overthrow of the entire wizarding government and who knows what she'll be doing by the time she's 20.

So Ithaqua wants her dead. And Mallory's gift of revelation, the small part of herself that is actually a demon of revelation tied to the understanding of hidden things knows this, and is trying to tell her that:

A man formed out of wax loomed before her. She lit the wick and he burned with a Silver Flame. Pressure, like her ears were about to pop. Lipstick smeared across a girl's cheek. The taste of blood in her mouth. And now in her hands she wielded a blade of Silver Fire, and burned it burned it burned—

Things were going very badly for Higgs, who as rapidly deteriorating from the demon's deal. He kidnaps both Mallory and Harper, forcing them into a second confrontation with the beast. Gemma Farley, who had been independently investigating, is struck down trying to stop him. Mallory watches Gemma fall, and sees the girl's lipstick smeared across her face, like in her vision.

"Gemma?" Higgs choked, "how did you— you can't be here."

"Seriously?" she scoffed, "you seriously thought I wouldn't find out? I keep records, Terrence. A forged letter to the Headmaster. You made me help."

"For Hogwarts," he croaked, "for Hogwarts, if you knew you'd agree — you did agree —"

"Merlin, Terrence," Farley's face crumpled, "no, no — how could I agree? They're first years. I don't understand. This isn't about blood, I know you're not a blood purist," her mouth open, she shook her head, "I don't understand."

"The Dark Lord's back, you agreed. You heard what the ghosts said last year. Dumbledore wouldn't commit to the sacrifices needed to protect the castle. Three students to save hundreds, you know that makes sense."

She shook her head, "no."

And the last thing Mallory sees before she crosses through the fire is Farley's crumpled body, her cheek smeared with red lipstick.

(I didn't roll the dice yet on whether Gemma lives or dies.)

This time, the arena is a rapidly flooding basement in an abandoned house on the edge of the forbidden forest. Her wand is snapped, but that doesn't stop her.

Mallory asks him if he knows the unlocking spell. Harper says he can't accidentally-on-purpose do accidental magic.

"Yes you can," she says, annoyed that he was arguing this now, when it seemed self-evident that any witch or wizard could use magic without a wand.

"No, you can't. That's — just because you saw Dumbledore or some other wizard do it, doesn't mean you can— you're not bloody Merlin."

Mallory ignores him and keeps gathering what she needs, "I've done it before."

"No, you haven't. You've done it on accident, not on purpose — you need a wand. It's like Tonks, Hopkins, with the metamorphmagi. It's blood — you can't---"

"Yes, I can," she said, firmly.

He looks at her as though she's delusional, but she gets a flash of certainty, that he now believes she isn't a muggleborn at all, and finds herself off-balance and almost embarrassed for him, past the terror of the moment.

I ended up writing that she burns the lock off, or part of the door to get out, since the lock is magically locked and she can't do an unlocking spell.

When she can do it, it's like touching a live wire, almost. Half the time the feeling's so intense that she gets distracted and loses it. But when she doesn't lose her grip, the sensation feels a bit like ecstacy, like a synchronization up and through her body, sparking from the bottom of her spine to the crown of her head. And if she holds it there, makes a mental motion of clenching, but without pressure, then sometimes she can push it out through her hand. Right now, she was pushing out the concept of heat. Mallory felt quite familiar with fire, with hot objects and the way fire burned. She'd practiced this enough back in South Brent for her to expect this to work. It's easier here, she thinks. There's something in the air, a sick kind of pressure radiating cold, and the heat in her, an ever-burning brightness that she could never remember not feeling, lashed out in protest. This fire wanted out, and Mallory was more than happy to oblige it. [she heats up the metal of the handle until it's glowing red hot.] "Alright, now we just need to cool it off, but quickly." Harper just stared at her, eyes bugged out in stunned disbelief.

The kids escape as Higgs succumbs to the demon. Almost all of Blackthorn's devices fail, except for one:

And then something decidedly strange happened. The pocket mirror, so carelessly tossed into the muck, popped open. And like something out of the creepiest horror movies, a hand reached out of the mirror. Only it wasn't just a hand. The hand became an arm, then a torso, and then the towering figure of Professor Blackthorn, standing right on top of the tiny mirror.

Corvinus Blackthorn arrives with the sword, puts them in a circle of protection, and challenges the abomination.

She catches a glimpse of desiccated flesh and sharp, jagged bone through the trees. The space between the trees is narrow, light swallowed up by an oppressive, weighty darkness. A tail made of jagged broken bones lashes out, gouging blackthorn. Deep gouges in his chest and arm. Bones uneven and ugly, with rotting meat sloughing off with every movement.

Catches him across the chest and he slams into the trunk with all the grace of a ragdoll. Blackthorn is thrown, arm shattering and sword wrenched from his grip. Silver fire paints an arc where it fell, igniting pools of water and debris.

The circle was broken.

It floods the forest floor with ice water, and tries to mutilate Blackthorn, but it doesn't work because Blackthorn's body is made of clay, not flesh. Mallory picks up Blackthorn's sword, burning herself very badly, and enters a space between time where she can see it clearly, and strikes the monster down as it attempts to kill Blackthorn, then collapses. It's Mallory's strike that kills and damages the monster more so than Blackthorn's, for Blackthorn is more like the beast than Mallory.

I think I decided to have Narcissa's POV be the aftermath chapter, revealing that the aurors pursued Blackthorn to the forest, and suffered heavy losses. Their actions were why the abomination was so slow -- it's attention was split.

Tonks was injured badly, and Narcissa was secretly visiting Andromeda to offer hospital care and muse about the past:

"Is it dead?" Andy asked. Is Dora safe?

"I'm not sure," Narcissa wetted her lips, hesitating before she finally said, "Bella's old master was there. I think that's why they're holding their tongues. They'd have to reveal they let him back in the country." Andy almost flinched.

They never talked about Bella, never spoke about the third Black sister, not even in passing. The way Andy acted, it was though she wished to forget they even had an eldest sister, but Narcissa couldn't forget, not even if she wanted to. Bella was etched into her eyelids, carved into her flesh like a silver sickle-blade. Their sister, skin smeared with blood, coming home with gleaming eyes and a wicked sharp smile.

Andy used to smile to express comfort, joy, and wonder. But Bella's were a whole different matter.

Narcissa could make an entire catalog of Bella's smiles, and there'd still be more to file away. She had these sweet smiles, the sort she'd make when someone asked her a question they would regret ever asking. Then there were the moments she'd catch her sister reading some book on advanced meta-magical theory, taking notes in her scrawling script. Those smiles were relaxed and easy, like lounging in a chair warmed by the fire.

Most common, though, were the sharp and fleeting smiles of their youth. Mother never understood Bella. She couldn't understand Andy, either, but it was Bella she came down on the hardest. Bella, who had to be an example to her younger sisters, elegant and demur. Bella, who couldn't sit still for more than five minutes at a time, and was brighter than Andy and Narcissa put together.

She was gone, now. She'd been gone for years, found dead in her cell a week before Beltane, four years ago. But in truth, Narcissa knew she'd been gone for near a decade before she died. Bella's body just took its time catching up with her mind.

It was absurd how another person could become so necessary, like a part of yourself you didn't realize could go missing. She'd sometimes see some book on arithmancy and casually think to herself that Bella would enjoy it, only to remember that Bella was dead. Bella would never enjoy it, just like she'd never live to see Draco grow into an adult wizard or have her own children. It still felt like a bludger to the chest, even after all this time.

And once she started looking, Bella was everywhere. She found Bella in the smell of stale cigarettes and cheap muggle whiskey, found her in old records playing on the wireless, in powerful and complicated works of magic that she knew Bella would've found enthralling. Bella haunted her in the familiar scowl on that little girl's face, in the bright, quicksilver smile of her son. Narcissa saw the girl Bella used to be, before the Dark Lord twisted her into something ugly and seething.

No, neither she nor Andy could bear to speak of Bella, but their every interaction was defined by her absence.

Bella had blamed herself for Andy's departure, just as Andy blamed herself for Dora's decisions. In a sense, they were both a little right.

Bella was the one who introduced Andy to all that muggle nonsense. Cigarettes and the cinema, their teenage nights were spent drinking and partying. Bella, she knew, had drowned herself in booze and recreational potions to escape their family, escape the twists of her own mind, mutating all that was good and whole into sharp angles and magic. Andy, though, became enamoured by the muggles. It was their world that captured her imagination, and muggleness of any kind became the quickest way to provoke those warm summer-day smiles. The trifling distraction became her life. After Andy eloped, it seemed that Bella's smiles had vanished with her. Bella's mirror calls became flat and lifeless, the ever-present gleam in her eyes, gone. Even Blackthorn's antics weren't enough to move her to good humor.

But it was never Bella's fault, not really.

Yes, the subtext here is that Narcissa was infatuated with her sister, willing to excuse her violence, and that Mallory strongly resembles Bellatrix Black. The audience is supposed to be given the sense that this Bellatrix is a bit of a departure from canon Bellatrix.

(I wanted to write like, the most fucked up possible Family Black.)

Andromeda wants to be put in touch with Blackthorn, believing he will be able to heal here daughter, but Narcissa refuses, believing Blackthorn is a plague on their family.

After Hogwarts, Bella ended up turning down the Lestranges to earn her Mastery, studying under Professor Blackthorn, instead. But from what Narcissa understood through various mirror-calls throughout the years, most of this "studying" was really them jaunting around the globe. Narcissa remembered reading about him in the paper, once. The Floating City of Mojipar had fallen from the sky, hundreds dead. And at the center of it all was the necromancer, Corvinus Blackthorn. The picture had been haunting, a city crumbling, flames eating through homes as it hurtled toward the ground. The worst part was, she could so easily imagine Bella there. Bella, with her sharp grin and gleaming eyes, laughing amidst the chaos.

Narcissa is unable to stop Andromeda from leaving to visit him, and despairs about how she wishes she could freeze the memories of her sisters in amber. It's all supposed to be very creepy.

I was considering writing the battle also from Tonks' POV instead, which would've let me throw in a number of conflicts between Dumbledore and Blackthorn, but I ended up rolling those ideas into a later chapter.

the story picks up again with Mallory recovering in a house outside Koldovstoretz, a wizarding school in Russia with Blackthorn's former mentor, and old wizard named Yegor. She learns picking up the sword badly injured her, because it was a cursed sword. That combined with the oath she broke took a heavy toll, and most of this time she spends recovering in bed.

(I hadn't decided when Andromeda visits, but it was supposed to be mildly revealing.)

Bored, she starts rummaging through the room she's staying in, and discovers it contains Blackthorn's effects from when he was Yegor's apprentice, as well as several shoeboxes worth of letters between Bellatrix Black, Narcissa, Blackthorn, etc. Most of these conversations are one-sided, because Mallory only has the letters Bellatrix received, not the ones she sent, aside from a few Bellatrix sent Blackthorn. There are also pictures, and Mallory notices that she looks a lot like Bellatrix and Andromeda.

I wasn't sure how I was going to present the letters. Probably as stand-alones. My notes for the letters look like:

The first letter comes from Andromeda, who has recently learned that Bellatrix has run away rather than become the fiance of Lestrange. Her parents may have mailed her too, but it is likely Bellatrix burnt those letters. Andromeda may reference letters from her parents. Discusses how Bellatrix's leaving has been taken by the family. Mentions how badly Narcissa's taking it.

The year is 1974, and Bellatrix Black is 23 years old, a journeyman headed to Ugadou to finish her education. Andromeda is 21 years old, and has a one year old baby with Ted Tonks. Narcissa is 19, already married to Lucius Malfoy. Sirius is 15, in the throws of rebellion. He might've already run away. Regulus is 13, and entering his third year at Hogwarts. One letter should mention some kind of awkward romantic encounter between Corvinus and Bella.

1976 — Flight from Britain Andromeda asks Bellatrix, in an oblique way, for help going into hiding. For a while she's been fine, staying in MACUSA territory with Ted and the baby, believing themselves outside the reach of the family. But she's recently gotten a letter from Narcissa, who is concerned that the family Head (Arcturus Black III, Orion's father) is being radicalized further by Voldemort. And Narcissa heard a rumor that the family knows where she's hiding.

1977 — The Last Days A letter from Narcissa, it's only two words: "Please don't." A letter from her mother or an aunt, saying something like: You have my greatest sympathies and I fully understand your dedication to this wizard, but given the challenges that are now facing this family, you don't feel you have a responsibility to return home?

It's implied that something happened after that, since there are no more letters. Later it would be revealed that Bellatrix was goaded into visiting her family home, where she was captured and presented to Voldemort as a sacrifice. This did not go how the Black family expected it to.

At this point, the audience is supposed to have drawn the obvious conclusion that Mallory is Bellatrix's daughter, otherwise I wouldn't have spent so many pages fleshing out Bellatrix's character.

Mallory learns that Bellatrix ran away from home after she graduated Hogwarts to study higher magics. This plan would've failed, except Blackthorn took an interest in her and made her his apprentice. Bellatrix and Blackthorn were at one point in a serious relationship. Bellatrix was Blackthorn's former apprentice, and he entered into a relationship with her as her apprenticeship concluded.

Blackthorn and Bellatrix's relationship provides some context for why Blackthorn came to Hogwarts at all (when he learned that it was Mallory who was attacked,) and why he contrived to have her stay at his mentor's house. Mallory learns a bit about wandlore and her own ability at divination when Blackthorn helps her select a new wand. He gives her gifts and other things which Mallory finds vaguely suspicious — she's not sure if it's about Bellatrix, or if he's interested in her in particular, but his generosity and willingness to advise her has her concerned. He finds out she snooped and read the letters, and talks to her about how her gifts are hereditary and mark her out as a target.

That night, she hears Dumbledore arrive, and overhears a conversation that terrifies her.

She's not a distant relation of a squib of the Black family. Andromeda Black was approached a few nights after Voldemort's "death" by a haggard Bellatrix, carrying a baby. Bellatrix demanded Andromeda take the baby, keep it secret, that she had something she needed to do. Then she went and tortured the Longbottoms.

Andromeda took the baby to Dumbledore, believing it to be Voldemort's heir. Dumbledore also drew that conclusion, named the baby "Mallory," for "bad," and left her with a squib family (Mallory's dad Hopkins is the son of a squib related to the wizarding family Hopkins,) who couldn't have children. He intended to use her in the war when Voldemort came back, either as bait or as a weapon.

Mallory also learns she's discovered hints about her parentage before, and every time she figures it out, Dumbledore erases her memory. Blackthorn is furious, and says she ought to know the truth.

Blackthorn also insists that Bellatrix was a double-agent, a spy who'd been imperius'd by Voldemort but broke the spell and decided to get revenge by spying on him for Blackthorn. Mallory finds Blackthorn's claims somewhat contradictory and confusing, but is distracted by Dumbledore:

Dumbledore plans to erase her mind again, so she quickly writes down everything important in her notebook, with the hope that Dumbledore won't find out she did this in her mind, or the notebook itself.

Her memory is erased, her note is found, but she wrote it in hard pencil and a ghost of it remained on the paper behind it. Mallory's gift of revelation means that two days later, she notices a page has been torn out of her notebook, and that the imprints remain, and bothers to get back some of the message.

When Mallory returns to Hogwarts, she discovers from a letter from her parents that Danny is in a coma. And Snape takes her to detention for breaking the statute of secrecy. They obliviated Danny's memories of magic, and because magic was such a large part of his life, it erased almost all of his memories.

I was planning to write out an arc where we follow Danny from when he got Mallory's phone call, to him stealing and conning his way all the way to Scotland to save her. He manages to get to Dufftown, and finds an alarming military occupation in town, one that becomes relevant later when the audience learns that more muggleborn families are disappearing -- it's not Voldemort, but muggles preparing to go to war against wizarding kind.

Danny almost gets to the castle, but is turned back by the wards repeatedly until eventually he attracts the attention of a teacher who inexpertly obliviates him.

Mallory attempts to smuggle him healing potions, but she's too late. And she doesn't understand why obliviation killed him, when so many get obliviated every day, even large obliviations, and are fine.

She declares revenge, but most of all won't accept that he's dead. She tries to get in contact with Blackthorn again, saying she'll do anything, contact anyone (implicitly threatening to contact voldemort, since he apparently returned from death) if it means bringing him back.

Blackthorn agrees to help her. He says he knows how to return a soul from death, but doesn't have the objects he needs. That he's also trying to return someone from the dead. Mallory takes that to mean Bellatrix, though she's wrong. He's trying to bring back his daughter who he murdered (without knowing she was his daughter), accidentally setting a bloodline curse on himself. If he brings her back, he's free of the curse. He tells her that she needs to learn how to protect her mind first, from obliviation and from legilimancy. And once they do that, he will teach her and help her. He expresses interest in having her check in with him frequently, because he's worried she's going insane.

This works well with Mallory's existing goals of learning to protect her mind, so she agrees, though remains suspicious.

After several months, Mallory begins to suspect that he's not interested in her because of Bellatrix, or because he thinks she'll be as smart as Bellatrix, but that she's most likely his daughter, not Voldemort's.

"Why..." Mallory trailed off, "why didn't you take me in, after Bellatrix... after what happened." Moreover, she wanted to know why she hadn't been placed with someone she was related to, since wizards seemed to care about blood so much.

"I was out of the country," a pause, "after, you were six years old, raised by muggles — raised by a family that cared for you." Another pause, "Andromeda refused to keep you. Too much danger. The danger passed only two years after she gave you away. And everyone — Andromeda, Bellatrix, myself, none of us wanted to see you with Druella or Cygnus. Your grandparents. Your other aunt, Narcissa, she wasn't an option, either. No." Shakes his head.

"But not you. That's everyone else, not you."

"I am not a fit parent. I travel to dangerous places, put myself in peril. Less, now, but" he breathed a sigh out his nose, "I'd rather no one know who you are — someone would hurt you. Right now you can walk down the street, draw no stares or whispers. You have time to learn as you will, face few who would wish you ill."

She wasn't stupid. Mallory might not be a super-genius like Felix or (apparently) Bellatrix, but she was bright enough to make the obvious connection. There were holes in this theory. Bellatrix shipped Mallory off to Andromeda's, instead of Blackthorn's. He said he'd been off on a sabbatical, slaying demons or whatever, and was unreachable. But Mallory thought that seemed unlikely. Surely he would've kept his magic mirror on him. He managed to find time to call her when he was in the middle of Death Valley, after all, while he was hunting down some kind of crazed demon-summoning cult. He called to give her a lecture on doxies. There was no way he wouldn't answer the magic mirror for Bellatrix. Kind of blew a huge hole in the side of that ship, though it wasn't sunk just yet. There could be another explanation. Perhaps he couldn't pick up the mirror for some other reason he wasn't telling her. Maybe he'd been captured by the free goblin army, made to summon demons for their plot to overthrow all wizardry and bathe in the blood of their long-hated enemies. Or he could've spent those four years in a Solomonari dungeon before finally escaping. And then he finds out his kid already has a family, and that she's happy there, so he leaves Mallory alone.

...or maybe he was busy getting avada kedavra'd out of his body, necessitating a new one being built out of clay.

In other words, Bellatrix's mother kidnapped her and delivered her to Lord Voldemort to be murdered by Lord Voldemort because Bellatrix was planning on marrying Lord Voldemort's alter-ego.

And Bellatrix didn't actually know Voldemort was Blackthorn's alter ego. (The fic "Tom Riddle's Grand Adventure" was meant to explain how Tom became Corvinus. The short version is he ends up being run out of Wizarding Britain and ends up in Grindelwald's warzone until he stumbles into Yegor, who advises him against making more horcruxes, so instead of an incompetent insane Voldemort, you get a competent insane Voldemort who spends a significant portion of his time teaching defense against the dark arts at a russian magic school. Both are extremely evil. This was never a redemption story.) until that day.

Mallory also can't help but notice that he's not a good person. At first she wants to believe he is, because facing the reality that her birth parents are monsters seems overwhelming to her. So she spends time around him, around his associates, and the more she does the less she finds herself able to make excuses for him or for her birth mother. What they did doesn't make sense. And they say it'll make sense when she's older, but she realizes that all they're doing is trying to get her to sell out to their values and become like them. And she won't.

And this ties in strongly with the way the wizarding world treats family -- how the text of the HP books says "family isn't important" but the subtext all but screams that it does, and how so much HP fanfic follows suit. It always bugged me, so I decided to invert that. While the characters and in-game universe all explicitly believe it matters who your family is, over and over the old families get hoisted by their own petards. The very magic they think makes them superior royally fucks them over and over again. And Mallory's birth family acts to screw her over or hurt her, even when they're saying they intend to help. More importantly, she starts seeing how there are lines she doesn't want to cross, things she won't do for power or even Danny.

Mallory begins to hate the wizarding world with a vengeful passion. The teachers are corrupt, the adults have tremendous power but use it for selfish and stupid purposes, and their entire world seems hell-bent on becoming as authoritarian as possible. She decides to bring down the British Wizarding government. And when she discovers the others are just as bad or worse, they become targets as well.

Dumbledore eventually learns about Mallory's connection to Blackthorn and some of her plans, resulting in a renewed attempt to obliviate her. Mallory keeps her memories and flees, this time successfully, to her muggle parents. They board a plane and attempt to head to the US, where some relatives live. Once off the plane they're accosted by security. It turns out the muggle government knows Mallory's a witch, and is actively hunting down any muggleborn families to study them and then murder them, believing wizardkind to be a threat to their control. They've figured out a way to get around wizarding mindwipes using the power of being able to write things down on a computer and send files with that information to any location in the world, including locations the writer doesn't know, themselves.

Blackthorn comes to the rescue, though only as she's already escaping, having decided there is another government she must destroy, and that's around when Mallory learns he's Voldemort. She's repulsed and terrified for her parents, who she fears he'll kill. He assures her he won't. She realizes the only reason why she should believe him is that he is cursed to not completely fuck her over by a bloodline curse.

I had some text from these scenes but I lost some of the word docs in 2015 when I switched computers. It's laid out that he can't kill Mallory because their ancestor put a bloodline curse on the family that makes it suicide to kill or weaken your descendants. Most of his family went mad because they did lots of child abuse.

Mallory finds all of this disgusting. Like, his main motive for not murdering her parents is that he is restricted by a curse. He knows she'll grow up strong and take revenge on him if he kills her loved ones. She realizes she can never trust him, because he's doing "good" things for the wrong reasons. And she realizes that one day she'll have to destroy him.

She at various points confronts him about how he murdered people, about how he took on the role of Voldemort. He says things like, "Voldemort wasn't me, it was a mask" or "it was all for a greater purpose," but to Mallory, those are poor excuses. It's more or less meant to parody and mock a lot of stories that seriously use those excuses as a reason for the main character to get along with Voldemort.

Voldemort reveals that he'd planned for Dumbledore, but had hesitated with carrying out his plan -- he was going to pass off Blackthorn as Voldemort's distant cousin. That would explain Mallory's parseltongue (the lisp from chapter 1, how she has blanks and a headache after encountering salazar slytherin's portrait and snakes in the common room, etc are supposed to be after-effects of obliviation.) and Blackthorn-as-a-parent prevented Dumbledore from more memory wipes.

If he just took her to Koldovstoretz, Dumbledore would pursue her. And they couldn't keep her presence a secret forever. Mallory decides she wants to go back to Hogwarts anyway, because she doesn't want to be near him.

Mallory returns to Hogwarts, and desperately wishes the lie they were telling was true, that she really only was Voldemort's distant cousin and that Blackthorn really was a wizard on the side of making the world better. But he isn't, and she knows it. And she can't pretend they aren't her birth parents, because she has the same bloodline curses and problems they do. But she can take everything they know and use it to kill every abomination, every source of power for the old families, including her own. And that causes her to almost implode, because those sources of power are a part of her, and she spends a lot of time battling herself. The central question of this fight being how do you destroy something when part of you is that something? Not "how" as in "how could you?" but "how" as a technical question. The demons in her mind are all enemies, and she plays them off one another and tricks most of them into fighting one another. Except for the part of her that is the demon of revelation, which I didn't get around to figuring out how she'd destroy before I stopped working on this project.

Her demons were:

Yig ◆◆◆ A god of //Revelation//. Reveals itself as a great serpent of knowledge, promising communication and power for worship. Should you break a covenant with it, you will become deformed and snake-like, your wits addled and determination sapped. The gift of parseltongue comes at the cost of a loss in eloquence in human tongues. Words do not come to you easily. The power of parselmagic and the command of snakes becomes yours. Yig took special interest in the Gaunt family and cursed them to not betray their children, and no member of the family has failed to betray their children, so they are very cursed. **Enyo (Death) ◆◆◆** A god of //Domination //inherited from the **House of Peverell** before 1214//, //after the brothers tricked it. They gained the three Deathly Hallows, and later used the three Hallows in a ritual to take on a measure of the god's power, into themselves. While the brothers succeeded, they found that death and sorrow follows those who bear the mark of Enyo, no matter that they gained some authority over the magic of life and death. **Gath ◆◆** A greater demon of //Revelation, //inherited from **House of Gaunt** in the middle ages. The Keeper of the Secrets, The Guardian of the Knowledge, is a slimy shape-shifting mass, which can be summoned with mud and the blood of the invoker. When summoned will reveal much-needed information, but at a great cost. Another, lesser ritual was invoked by the **House of Gaunt,** many years ago. Gives the supplicant a talent for legilimency, to pry secrets from the minds of others, understanding. But in every generation, a member of the family must look into the mind of another, //know them,// and then sacrifice that person and their secrets to Volgna-Gath. If the chain breaks, the knowledge is used to hurt you: you see the least charitable thoughts about you when you look into another's mind. You're overwhelmed with sensation. **Golothess** A lesser demon of //Obliteration //inherited from the **Black** **family, **through **Ella Max** before 1829. A piece of the 10 pieces of Golothess was imbued into each bloodline. Of those lines, three have withered- Clagg, Muldoon, and Bragge, their pieces lost to the world forever. The lost shards weaken the overall power of the ritual. In battle, they are strengthened with confidence, boldness, and power. This effect is strengthened the more they are impaired by drink or other substances. The effect does stack. **Ngyr-Korath** A greater demon of //Obliteration, //inherited from the **Black family **through **Licorus Black** in the 1850's. The **Flint family** also made this pact, but effects from the same pact are not additive. A 20% luck to all actions in the name of chaos and destruction of intelligent life. She has an increased chance of dying young. If the Family refuses to sacrifice a human or other intelligent species once per year, they all become squibs. If the family doesn't remain extant, all with the blood become squibs. **Nyarlathotep** A lesser demon of //Liberation, //inherited through the **Bulstrode Family. **One in every generation of family blood shall have the power to shapeshift. One in every generation will go mad. The exact ritual is a closely guarded secret. Mallory, Draco, Millicent or Nymphadora will go insane. Nymphadora gained the power to shapeshift.

Those are the monsters Mallory must defeat within herself in order to be able to carry out her will.

Shortly after Mallory returns, Hogwarts gets bombed by the muggle military with Mallory and her classmates in it. This sparks a war. I didn't have a lot of the war written out, but the idea was to introduce in all the previous chapters most of the major factions that would be fighting. And they're all fighting each other while fighting the larger threat.

Then there are the threats from other wizarding communities that want to do war.

And there's a cosmic being encroaching on their reality, one that'll destroy muggle and wizarding civilization, and everyone is too busy killing each other to try to stop it. (A kind of written scream about how people won't work together that I didn't understand so well why that happened at the time.)

It all goes very badly.

...

They resurrect Danny and Lily Potter using the three Deathly Hallows. Mallory demands Blackthorn do this for her gratis. He does because he needs her help to be free of a bloodline curse, but the result is less than what she hoped for. Danny's spirit returns, and is put in a clay body, and will not age, much like Lily. He hopes that bringing them back will not only free him of the bloodline curse, but earn both Mallory and Harry's loyalty. It is not enough for either Mallory and Harry, because Blackthorn/Riddle's actions didn't just impact Mallory and Harry. And one of the arcs was going to be them teaming up to murder Tom/Blackthorn. I never got around to figuring out the third person they'd get to resurrect. I made the rule they were only able to resurrect three people. (Three Hallows, three casters, three people brought back from the dead; the ring to summon the soul, the cloak to hide them from death, and the wand to open a gate. Mostly to prevent it from raising the question, "why aren't wizards raising the dead left and right?")

The resurrection was to involve a an arc where they go and enter the realm of death together to bring back the souls of Lily and Danny. I had a few ideas -- one was a completely static world where all time was in form-shapes, the other was a whimsical-but-stereotypical eternal train station, and the third was a sewer that morphs you into deathly things the longer you stay in it. Never worked out which I was going to go with.

...

An important piece of lore in the story was that Mallory was cursed. A lot of descendants of "old families" are cursed. Every person with a gift for divination, or special power has gotten it from a deal their family made with a demon a long time ago. And that demon has cursed their entire line to have a power at a cost. This power is achieved by ripping out a piece of their soul and replacing it with a piece of the demon.

Mallory, due to the number of demons both sides of her family has made compacts with, has a soul that is mostly made out of demon parts. She is barely human, but decides to fight them anyway.

...

This story was specifically designed so that the setting and environment would be geared towards "the world is made up of domination and powerful families." Even magic is written as giving more power to authority. But my main characters reject all of it, and decide to destroy that power through whatever means necessary. But the main way I did this was tying any "family" power to the destruction of all sentient life. So choosing "family" always meant choosing the illusion of "family" for the price of killing everyone a bit, including that family. And that power systematically destroys every family who deals in it, revealing everyone who uses it as someone who doesn't love their families at all, doesn't love anyone.

Mallory doesn't find herself curious about the power "she is owed" by society, because she wants to destroy that society. She does not try to get its approval, or use that information to impress her classmates, nor does she see herself as a reformist or muggle apologist or pureblood apologist or whatever. If at some point the purebloods in the school were to find out her identity and try to make friends with her, she would've roundly rejected them. Her refrain that she would never be friends with these people in the beginning of the story is a decision she keeps throughout the whole story.

(The "exception" is Castor Avery, who betrays his family and joins her team.)

There are a lot of stories about how once someone finds out they're really a member of the Black family, or related to Voldemort, they become inherently aligned with them out of some sense that family trumps all, and in doing so end up becoming like the badguys themselves, though they make token attempts at resistance. This was not that story. Any time Mallory interacts with structures of power, she's gathering information on how to destroy them. She understands that the dark side will offer her gifts and comforts, and even save her friend Danny for the sake of buying her loyalty. She'll accept any gifts without explicit strings, and immediately use that gift or tool to subvert them with no guilt or second thoughts.

Often, those stories also identify the purebloods as literally more powerful than everyone else. And while this story has many characters buying into that frame of view, and the reality of the story buys into it, Mallory doesn't. And that makes them all a bit weaker. Her willingness to deep-down refuse to believe in their authority literally damages their authority, and their ability to do magic around her.

I wanted to show what it feels like for one to feel like the whole world is telling them they have to accept something sick as true, that they even half-believe its true, and then reject it anyway not because reality doesn't look that way, but because you've decided you're going to change it. I wanted to show that as possible.

That was the whole point of making magic such that "authority" makes your magic stronger. I intended to deconstruct the reactionary themes in HP that lead to so many reactionary fics. Mallory explicitly chooses her muggle family. Explicitly chooses to condemn both the wizarding governments and muggle governments. And no matter how hard Dumbledore and others anticipate that she'll become a dark witch, she refuses the path they attempt to pigeonhole her into.

A part of this is how her name is handled. Riddle and Black named her "Carina Rose" and Mallory never changes her name to reflect that. Throughout the whole story, she goes by Mallory Hopkins, and thinks of herself as Mallory Hopkins. When she learns her name was meant as a joke by Dumbledore, she starts thinking of herself as "Hopkins" more so than Mallory, because the Hopkins were the people she chose, and throughout the story she works to keep them safe and away from her birth family.

A major theme was going to be found family vs anticipated loyalty to hereditary family. Mallory's muggle parents were set up as (to Mallory) "good people," in contrast to her biological family, who were blatantly and obviously bad people, no matter how they tried to excuse their behavior with claims that it's "tradition," or that what they were doing was "necessary" for the "betterment of the world." Mallory's biological family was going to give her gifts, attention, etc., all in the hopes of converting her to their side. And the tension in these stories usually is that the main character is tempted, or becomes corrupted, or otherwise falls in with the bad people and starts making excuses for them.

My focus on identifying everything as "bullying" at the time was that this story was planned out in 2014, after I'd endured some pretty severe bullying. Writing this story was part therapy for me, to work out my feelings about feeling as helpless and angry as Mallory did. And to me it felt like the whole world was set up in such a way that the "authority" wins, and the only thing to do was to hide and plot. So I poured out my anger and disgust into this story, made it reflect the lack of care I saw in people.

I no longer think things are hopeless like that, so the world of Mallory is less appealing to me to write in.

[ladyanput]

Dousing The Fire

Did I stay up until 1am writing this? I most certainly did. This is set just after Damian and Marinette left for their date in Chapter 2 of 'Seeing Green'

Alright, here's a warning for crude language, and tons and tons of Miraculous Salt. Enjoy.

~

At twenty-three years old, Evangeline Bourbon had seen her fair share of things. She had grown up with only her father, who spent more time down at the bar with his buddies, than raise his only child. Growing up around a drunk of a father, you learn not to put up with shit real fast.

He hadn't been abusive, he kept a stable job… He just seemed to prefer the bottle to being with his daughter, so she had been alone often. Evangeline grew up in Canada, in an Acadian town. She had kept good grades, she studied her ass off to learn French, and to complete her education degree, so that she could teach. She hoped her father would be proud then. But he simply went back to guzzling down his beer, as his friends around him drunkenly congratulated her.

So she moved to a different town, she had gotten a job at a Catholic school, as a TA, and a nun there had kindly suggested trying to go to France for a year, to strengthen her French. The lycée she had applied to  had been more than willing to bring her aboard.

Her first impression of Miss Caline Bustier was that she was a pretty, kind, and  very accepting woman. She had looked forward to learning from her, since she had been raised to stay with her original homeroom class, all the way up to their last year of school! She must have been such an amazing teacher!

How foolish she had been to believe that.

The class had not given a good first impression. As soon as the Canadian woman had said where she was from, Lila had perked up, then given her a wide smile.

"I'm very good friends with Monsieur Trudeau and his daughter, Elenore. She is such a little cutie pie, I'm like the big sister she's never had, so just adores me because she's an only child." She cooed, and the class around her praised her for knowing such a person as the Prime Minister of Canada, and going on about how handsome he was. Miss Bourbon merely raised an eyebrow.

"Mister Trudeau has three children, miss Rossi, and none of them are named Elenore." She crossed her arms, noting how Lila's green eyes narrowed in fury. Nothing had gone right after that, between her and the class. If she messed up on her French, they'd mock her. If she told Caline, she'd be told to grow up, that she's a teacher and needs to set an example.

Well she had almost taken that advice, until she had seen Marinette. Seen how isolated she was, seen how abandoned she was by her own friends. One look into those large blue eyes, void of light, and she had put her foot down. Now she'd do anything for Marinette, they had grown more into friends that a teacher's assistant and a student. And it made her very protective, especially when that boy from Wayne Enterprises has asked Mari out on a date.

Eva glanced out the elevator doors, smiling as she watched Marinette and Damian head towards the exit, eager for that first date. He seemed like a nice young man, and he had gotten the memo fast that if Mari got hurt, he'd find her shoe shoved when the sun don't shine.

When she got back to her room, she found Caline sitting on one of the beds, flipping through a magazine.

"The young man seems nice. I made sure he'd have Marinette back by nine thirty." Eva spoke as she went to her own bed, frowning as she was met in silence. She turned to the teacher, hands on her hips. "Caline, you could be a bit more concerned."

Miss Bustier glanced up, then gave her TA a patient smile, as if she were giving her the world with that one smile. Eva felt her blood pressure spike.

"Marinette will be just fine. There's no reason to be so concerned about her, she wanders off on her own all the time back in Paris. Honestly, Eva, you need to learn to not be so uptight about things." Caline shrugged and went back to her magazine.

"Yeah, but this isn't Paris, now is it? Might I remind you that we are in Gotham city? One of the crime capitals of America? Where a lot of people go missing and are never found? No, because that would take some actual fucking thinking in your part, now wouldn't it?" Eva snarled at her, as she took her dark hair out of its bun. Caline was on her feet in seconds, fury flaring in her eyes.

"You watch your tone with me. Why are you like this, so confrontational? You really need to stop being so confrontational, Miss Bourbon, or I think I will have to report you to the department of education." Caline took hold of Eva's arm, blinking in surprise as Eva began to laugh.

"Oh please, Caline, you don't have any fucking power in that school. I'm not one of your bullied students you can gaslight into being quiet and take the punches, until they want to die. Because that plan works so fucking well, it certainly worked with Chloe, didn't it?" She didn't miss Caline's flinch. "You didn't even do a head count this morning. I was nice enough to head out early this morning to Wayne Enterprises, to make sure they had everything set up for us, so that you could sleep in a bit and enjoy a class that no one fucking ever wants to teach, and you leave one of your students behind.

"You ever wonder why you were moved up a grade with that class of yours? Moved from Dupont to the lycée. While the department fed you bullshit about you being 'such and outstanding teacher, shaping the lives of many bright futures', in truth, no one wants to teach that fucking class. You have a class full of idiot assholes, who go and attack anyone who says that their precious Lila Rossi is lying, especially that Alya. They're like a bunch of rabid dogs that no one wants to touch, so they keep you with them. I think that's just making it worse, because you encourage this behaviour. Marinette is suffering, because her friends all believe Lila's lies, and you swallowed the bullshit about Lila having a condition that forces her to lie."

"Miss Bourbon, I know you have never seen Lila in the best of lights, but-"

"I nearly lost my job because of her! I nearly had the police on me, because she was spreading rumours that I slept with one of my male students back in Canada, got caught, and ran here to hide out. Thank fuck that the principal in the lycée isn't letting you suck his dick, like the one at DuPont, and had enough common sense to look into my job history. I taught at a girl's only prep school. And when this lie came to life, you didn't fucking punish her, you let it all stew!" Eva felt like tearing her hair out. Caline seemed scandalized, but it obviously wasn't clicking for her. "I'm not saying you're entirely to blame here. Lila's mother really needs to see through her daughter's lies. Alya really needs to learn to actually do resource checking, to hold back her pride, and take lessons on being a better friend, who doesn't toss her friend aside, because something shiny and new came along. Most of your class needs to really smarten up and get over themselves. They obviously believe these lies, because they don't want to admit they were wrong. Nobody likes appearing that they were wrong. But fuck, you need to get off of your high horse and be an actual teacher. Akumatizations happen all the time, they'll keep happening, because people get mad, they're human. But if you don't fix this, what will you do when Marinette finally gets akumatized?"

"Marinette? No, she'd never get akumatized. She is an example to her classmates, she's never even attracted an akuma, she.." Caline seemed shaken from all that had spewed from Eva's mouth. No, none of it could be true. She loved her class, she helped them thrive, helped them all become friends. She was a good teacher, Eva didn't know what she was talking about.

"You honestly believe that? Out of the entire class, only Marinette, Adrien, and myself have not been akumatized. I'm not worried about Adrien, he's so spineless, I doubt he'd ever actually get mad. But if you don't help me change this class, you're all going to push her towards that akumatization." Evangeline felt drained, taking a seat on her bed. She shook her head once more. "Please, Caline, before it's too late."

Caline Bustier was quiet for a long time, before she reached over and patted Eva on the head, similar to how one would pat a dog.

"Miss Bourbon, while I appreciate your… Passionate, though very inappropriate outburst, you don't know my students like I do. Marinette has been acting out for a few years now, obviously scared of this change in dynamic. But Lila can't help the disease she has, and Marinette needs to see through her. Some are just stubborn to change. And you must really work on that temper of yours before we get back to Paris. I wouldn't want you to get akumatized." Caline smiled that kind smile she always wore.

"Oh fuck you. You know what? Fine! I'm not wasting my breath in you anymore, I'm getting a drink!"  Eva got to her feet, grabbing her purse as she stormed out of the hotel room and back to the elevator. Why? Why did everyone in that stupid class have to be so blind and stubborn? 

Once the elevator doors slid shut, she leaned back against the wall, and took a deep, shaky breath, tears flooding her eyes, but she didn't once let them fall. 

She just didn't care anymore about the class. If any of them finally saw through the lies, she'd go to bat for those kids, just like she did for Mari. But for now, she'd wash her hands of them. Why try putting out a fire that Miss Bustier kept dousing with fuel, afterall?

[mostlycompetentwriter]

I Am You- Complete

Pairing: OC x Bang Chan x Jisung x Changbin (Stray Kids)

Genre: Romantic Fantasy

Warnings: Smut, Language, Violence

Word Count: 35,308 

Author’s Note: Hello, wonderful readers! I Am You is officially finished! I’d like to thank everyone who read the story and left a note or comment. It was really hard for me to put my writing on this site because I sorely lack confidence when it comes to my writing abilities. With that said, seeing how many people enjoyed the story was really validating. 

Also, the editing may be different in this full text because I tried to be responsible and use Grammarly's assistance.

Chapter One

Chan always treated me like I was something precious.

We were five years old when we met for the very first time. I remember clutching tightly to my mother’s leg while Chan stepped out from behind his parents to get a closer look at me. His eyes were a familiar blue, kind and warm, and he immediately scented the air. “She smells nice,” he told his mother, and the compliment softened my introverted shell. From that day on, we were nearly inseparable. 

Even our mothers had decided that we would be mates one day. “Chan is already sweet on her,” my mother would say, watching over the two of us. Chan liked to scent me, always curling into my side, when I was still somehow taller than him, burying his nose against the swollen gland. I would complain because his breath was hot and sticky, coating my skin with a light shimmer of moisture. 

We started school together with the other pups, holding hands when we walked into the classroom for the very first time. Apparently, the others thought it was weird, especially Jisung, who would mock Chan when he chose to paint with me instead of playing soccer outside. I didn’t like Jisung. He was rude and opinionated, and I hated how much Chan tried to impress him. 

Jisung’s best friend was a smaller boy named Changbin. Although quieter, all dark eyes and hair, he didn’t hesitate to join his friend in their endless teasing. Eventually, the teasing broke me and I cried for the very first time after Jisung managed to encourage the entire class to laugh at me when he read one of my poems out loud, voice high-pitched and mocking.

I was transferred to another class and, much to my displeasure, Chan started to spend more time with Jisung and Changbin. He would invite them over to his house, and I always left because I could barely stand being in the same vicinity. I became a loner, occasionally talking with some of the other girls, but mostly keeping to myself. 

By the time middle school came around, Chan and I had grown apart, joining different social circles. Chan was the third component to the mischievous and troublemaking trio that also consisted of Jisung and Changbin. They were always tormenting the younger pups, much to the chagrin of our teachers, and I did my best to stay off their radar. It was also around this time that our bodies slowly started changing. Chan finally grew taller than me, and Jisung and Changbin outgrew the cute roundness that most pups were born with.

High school further transformed our dynamic. It all started with Chan because the boy was absolutely heartbroken when his mother died. I remember being at the funeral, watching Chan from afar. He refused to speak at the ceremony, and I found him crying inside one of the bathrooms on the second floor of the viewing house. When I sat next to him, unhesitating in baring my neck, the blonde-haired boy had immediately touched his nose delicately to my scent gland. He pulled me into his arms and the two of us spent the next two hours talking, regrets and mistakes laid bare, until our souls felt as free as they had when we were children, reconciling like old acquaintances.

From that point on, Chan started spending a lot of time with me and we easily settled into our old friendship. It was wonderful, and I savored every second of our renewed bond. But Chan also insisted on maintaining his friendship with Jisung and Changbin, much to my displeasure. And Chan insisted we all get along, so I agreed to give the other two boys a chance.

However, I think Chan regretted that decision because Jisung and I butted heads at every opportunity. He was insufferable, whining about his parents forcing him to start patrols as if nobody else had to go through something like that. He was also irresponsible, and I didn’t understand why Chan liked him. Changbin was also difficult to like, especially since he remained silent most of the time, chattering softly with Chan and Jisung but always offering my questions and comments blank, dismissive stares.

And that was before Chan and I started sleeping together. 

It started when we both turned 16, and Chan complained to me about how painful his ruts could be. As an omega girl, I couldn’t really relate to his problems, but I had started getting my heats and figured the discomfort was comparable. We agreed to help one another, and I spent my first weekend in Chan’s bed, taking my first ever knot which was wildly uncomfortable, especially since Chan wasn’t in the right mindset to consider how it might affect me. 

However, when we returned to school on Monday, Jisung immediately picked up on our illicit activities. “You smell like Chan,” he said, tone accusatory. 

Jisung was furious when he discovered we had slept together. He was not only dismissive towards me, but he also ignored Chan as well. I personally didn’t care if Jisung ignored me, but I could tell it hurt Chan, so I confronted Jisung.

“You shouldn’t act like that,” I told him. “Chan is your friend.”

“He knew,” Jisung growled, frightening me a little with the heightened spicy element to his scent. “He broke our promise,” he insisted. I was confused by his anger because I had no idea what Chan could have done to hurt Jisung so much. 

Suddenly, my confusion was replaced by surprise when Jisung crowded me against the wall, leaning in abruptly to inhale deeply against my neck. “You shouldn’t smell like him,” Jisung continued and I stayed frozen in place, wincing when he roughly pressed his wrist against my scent gland, rubbing against the oily surface. 

Jisung seemed satisfied when he was finished, pulling away to scent the air again. “Better,” he muttered to himself.

After that day, Jisung was suddenly a lot nicer to me. He walked with me to my classes, offered to accompany me home after school, and he started bringing me a lot of random gifts: pencils and pens, paints and brushes, and even the little canvases I liked to use when I worked on my art. I never said anything because I figured this was his way of apologizing for the way he had acted before. Jisung certainly never apologized aloud.

It was also easier to tolerate Jisung when he acted like this and, on occasion, I even found myself laughing at the jokes he made or the funny, hyperactive way he liked to express himself. Of course, I reminded myself frequently about our childhood mishaps, the way Jisung would tease or ridicule me. “We were kids, Myah,” Chan would tell me. “Jisung grew up, we all did.”

But perhaps my biggest flaw was holding a grudge. 

It all came to fruition one afternoon while the three of us were eating lunch. I was quiet, suffering from some early cramping signaling my impending heat. I had applied scent blockers that day, hoping to disguise the sweet-smelling aroma from the rest of my classmates. It usually worked, but somehow Jisung was able to pick up on it. “You’re going into heat soon,” he bluntly said, and my cheeks blossomed with red, looking around to make sure nobody else had heard his observation.

“You can smell it?” I hissed incredulously, lifting my wrist to my nose, but finding myself unable to pick up on anything other than the dull, earthy scent of the blockers. 

Jisung cleared his throat, sheepishly glancing over at Chan as if looking for confirmation. Changbin was quiet as always, looking down at his food. “Myah,” Jisung started, catching me off-guard with the sincere use of my name. “I know heats can be painful to go through alone, so if you want, I could help you out?”

Jisung had surprised me before, but never to such an intimate extent. He was asking for permission to fuck me, not just once, but several times until my heat broke. It usually lasted for about three days, and that was a long time to spend with someone, especially considering the pathetic headspace I entered during my temporary fever-induced coma. “Why?” I asked, quickly looking over at Chan, expecting him to be outraged by the comment. But Chan was earnest, in that annoying way of his, and it felt like I was the only one who didn’t understand what was going on. “Chan already offered to help me out with my heats.”

I was trying to be nice for Chan’s sake. After all, there were a million other things I could have told Jisung, starting with our barely friendly acquaintanceship or the horrible way he had always treated me in the past. “I know,” Jisung replied, and he swallowed hard as if holding back his frustration. “But I’m offering to do you a favor.”

A favor? I finally snapped. “It wouldn’t be a favor from you,” I sharply retorted, “Why would you care anyway? I don’t like you, and I know you don’t like me. You’ve always treated me like shit, and you’ve always been there to embarrass me whenever you get the opportunity.” It dawned on me then that perhaps Jisung was mocking me again, embarrassing me now in front of Chan. “I don’t need you to keep putting me down,” I finally growled, my unregulated hormones adding aggression to my tone.

Jisung stood abruptly, and any further arguments dissolved when I realized that Jisung was crying, a tear trailing down the side of his cheek as he picked up his tray and stormed away. “That wasn’t nice, Myah,” Chan quickly chided me.

I turned my anger on him instead. “He was trying to embarrass me!”

“No he wasn’t,” Chan said, tone softening as his eyes scanned over my likely disheveled appearance. 

“Jisung likes you,” Changbin inserted, sighing as he picked up his tray. “It’s really obvious.”

I glared at Changbin’s retreating figure before turning on Chan, demanding answers. “Jisung has always been rude to me!”

Chan picked at his food, refusing to meet my gaze. “Jisung was trying to get your attention, but he was always afraid you would reject him, that’s why he acted so cold.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” I insisted, even as the memory of our strange bathroom encounter jostled itself into remembrance.

“He really likes your scent,” Chan supplied. “Alphas always like the scents of the omegas they see as potential mates.”

Mates? “We’re supposed to be mates, Chan,” I whined. 

Chan finally looked up, meeting my eyes with a serious expression. “Sometimes omegas can have more than one alpha.”

---------------------------------------------------------

Present

Hot.

I think I said it out loud, my voice hoarse from overuse, affected deeply by the intoxicating combination of our hormones. “I’ll take care of it,” he whispered to me gently, a contradiction to the heavy way he thrust into me, cock hitting deep inside.

“Feels good,” I said while inhaling his scent, a beautiful mixture of vanilla and something spicy, perfectly satisfying to my natural instincts. 

He ran his hand up and down the length of my thigh, wrapped around his slim waist securely, touch summoning hundreds of little bumps to rise along my skin. “Do you want a knot this time?” he asked, pressing delicate kisses along my collarbones.

“Jisung,” I moaned, voice catching on a lilt when I felt the base of his cock start to swell. “I need it, please.”

“Whatever my princess wants,” Jisung promised, and I felt my heart thud violently against my breastbone. I had always admired the way Jisung remained so controlled, able to vocalize coherently, responding to my pathetic pleas with kind assurances. I might tease Jisung relentlessly, as a recurring component to our dynamic, like telling him his cock could not compare to Chan or Changbin’s just to watch his eyes light with a familiar fire. But Jisung would always act so loving, even if he was rutting, and he more than made up for his size with his caring nature. His admirable ability to keep his alpha at bay, eyes remaining the same brown color that I loved, no matter what happened.

“It’s so good,” I pouted, tears flowing freely now, especially once his knot was fully engorged, keeping us locked together. My orgasm hit suddenly, after so much build and anticipation, forcing my eyes to close against the tide of pleasure. Jisung growled seductively into my ear, and I felt his release inside of me, warm and full.

I was gone, but Jisung, as usual, was fully present, moving us on our sides, arms wrapping around my waist as he scented me deeply. It was his tongue, wet and familiar, lapping over the bite mark he had left on my upper arm that brought me back. Jisung had been the second one to mate me, securing our bond together after such a long and tumultuous history. I was grateful to Jisung, his love was beautiful and adoring, and I usually went to him when my heats hit because he was always so careful.

It made Chan jealous because there was a time when I only wanted him to help me. But Jisung changed everything I knew about heats and sex, and all it had taken was a silly pinky promise we made in our school’s outdoor arena:

“Jisung,” I said softly, approaching the other male carefully. I felt guilty about how I had spoken to him at lunch, even if I felt it was deserved. Perhaps we both had things to work on. “I’m sorry.”

His shoulders tensed at my words, and that was the only acknowledgment I got as I took a seat next to him on the sidewalk. Jisung looked straight ahead, eyes still bloodshot and cheeks puffy, swollen from his tears. “Whatever,” Jisung grunted dismissively, refusing to look at me.

“I didn’t know,” I told him carefully. “I didn’t think you liked me. You’ve always been rude to me, so I didn’t know.”

We were both silent for a long time, and I pulled my knees closer to my chest, resting my chin on the perch I made. “I guess you wouldn’t know,” Jisung finally said. “I’m pretty stupid, right?”

“No,” I countered, scooting a little closer and reluctantly releasing a calming scent I knew would soften him. I just hated it because it would make the scent blockers less effective. I’d smell like heat for the rest of the day. But Jisung inhaled deeply. “We were both wrong,” I admitted. “I never really gave you a chance.”

“I made it hard for you to give me one,” Jisung said, looking deeply regretful. “I shouldn’t have asked to help you with your heat. I’m sorry.”

Hearing an apology from Jisung was about as rare as the blood supermoon. “You can help me if you want,” I said nervously, glancing at Jisung out of the corner of my eyes. “With my heat.”

Jisung stiffened, mouth falling open a little as he finally regarded me. “Really?”

“Yeah, it helps, you know,” I stuttered, “-to have a knot.”

It was Jisung’s turn to blush. “I- I can do that.”

“I hope so,” I teased him, and then I held up my pinky finger. “You can always ask in the future if you want. I promise I won’t yell.”

Jisung smiled, and it was one of the most sincere smiles I had ever seen. He wrapped his pinky around mine. “Okay.”

“Sweetheart,” Jisung purred now, “Are you okay?” I managed a nod, wincing a little as I shifted, his knot an unforgettable presence. “Careful,” he whispered.

“Sorry,” I instinctively apologized, my heightened omega instincts encouraging me to appease my mate.

Jisung found my obedience hilarious, teasing me around Chan and Changbin. “She’ll beg for it,” he once said proudly, wrapping my reluctant form into his arms. “But I always give my princess what she wants.”

“Sungie,” I purred happily, feeling my eyes grow heavy with the promise of sleep. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Myah,” he whispered back, nosing along my neck, accidentally brushing against Changbin’s mark. 

I felt my sadness return, remembering why I had forced Jisung to stay behind, even though he had been set to travel with Chan to a neighboring pack.

Changbin was ignoring me.

-------------------------------------------

Chapter Two

Changbin is volatile. 

His unpredictability has always been an obstacle in our relationship, even before he had accidentally mated me. It was a night I could never forget, especially considering Jisung and Chan’s outrage when they discovered us together. But it wasn’t Changbin’s fault, especially since he had always hidden his true feelings for me. And after years of holding everything back, the anticipated explosion did not turn out well for either of us. Yet, the dark-haired male was always sullen and quiet, and even after Jisung and Chan had both Declared, he still didn’t talk to me very much.

However, he always talked to other girls, and that really bothered me. I would always watch from a distance, observing with practiced patience how he would flirt with younger omegas. It was strange to be jealous, especially when I was sure Changbin didn’t like me. For example, back when the three of us were still in school, the boys would always beg for me to go to parties with them on the weekends. I relented because Jisung was absolutely adorable when he was drunk, clinging to me persistently. Thus, the four of us would always arrive together, but I remained silent because Changbin usually lost interest the minute I inserted myself into the conversation. On one such occasion, the pre-conditions were already different before everyone had even arrived:

“Your rut is close,” tipsy Jisung bluntly informed Changbin, wrinkling his nose in disgust. 

Changbin frowned. “You wanted me to come.”

Chan chuckled, holding me close to his chest, arms wrapped loosely around my waist as I nursed the sweet-tasting drink Jisung had brought for me. I had been trying to ignore Changbin’s scent all night. Unlike Jisung, I found his dark smell alluring, and it was taking a lot of effort to fight my instinct to bury my nose into the side of his neck. 

“They make scent blockers for a reason,” Jisung complained, eyes wandering over to me. I giggled at the sudden appearance of his smile, not protesting when he leaned in closer to scent me deeply. “I’ll just have to scent Myah instead.”

Chan let out a warning growl, apparently opposed to Jisung’s closeness. However, under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t even care if Jisung sought my attention, but I could also faintly detect Chan’s rut smell beneath his usual clean pine scent. 

Jisung pouted, leaning away to fold his arms across his chest. “Have another drink, Sungie,” I said, hoping to distract him. 

“Myah likes my scent,” Changbin suddenly announced, dark eyes appraising as they scanned over me. 

I was taken aback by Changbin’s forwardness, but also deeply embarrassed because he had promised not to say anything about my unfortunate comment, spoken out of term while I was under the influence of heat-induced hormones. You see, it had happened a few nights before my heat was set to break and Chan and Jisung had left me alone with Changbin to talk with a teacher after school. Changbin was mindlessly looking through a textbook when I leaned in closer, apparently not used to such close proximity. “You have a nice scent,” I had told him, only remembering our precarious relationship moments later, lost in mortification. 

I was slightly furious that Changbin had chosen now to speak up. “When did she say that?” Jisung asked, latching on to this new piece of information, as he always did.

“Cute,” Chan remarked, pinching my scarlet-red cheeks. 

“I didn’t mean it,” I protested, glaring in Changbin’s direction. “I was close to my heat.”

Changbin’s returning smile could only be described as arrogant. “You don’t have to lie, Myah. Other girls have told me the same thing.”

“Why don’t you go bother those other girls, then?” I asked him petulantly, overwhelmed by Jisung’s teasing, Chan’s incessant cooing, and the unfamiliar dark look in Changbin’s eyes.

“Only if you won’t get jealous,” Changbin rumbled, standing up to his full height, stretching out his arms above his head. I tore my eyes away from the wonderful flex of his biceps.

“He doesn’t mean anything by it,” Chan told me once Changbin was out of earshot. He probably picked up on my crestfallen expression. 

“He’s close to rut,” Jisung added, somehow managing to rest his head on my lap without my noticing.

However, my worsening mood was solely attributable to Changbin’s distraction, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him for the remainder of the night. It didn’t help that I saw him everywhere like he was trying to stay on my radar. He leaned into Omega girls, whispering sweet flirtations into their eager ears. He let them touch his arms, scandalous fingers testing the area over the front of his sinfully tight jeans. 

I was losing my mind, even with Jisung and Chan clinging to my arms. In fact, both of my future mates sought my attention and, at one point, I was situated in Chan’s lap, chasing his lips with intoxicating kisses. I had my eyes closed, tasting the inside of his mouth with my tongue, before leaning into his neck, scenting him in a way I normally wouldn’t do in public. But then I opened my eyes and found myself ensnared with Changbin’s impenetrable gaze. He had a petite blonde in his lap, running his teeth along the curve of her neck, even as his attention remained focused on me.

I shivered, feeling my scent spike as I followed the path of Changbin’s tongue, knowing he wanted me to watch. Chan shifted under me, and I could feel his erection through his pants. Apparently, the spike in my scent affected him more than I thought, and his rut scent was even more apparent. Jisung was the one to pull us apart, lecturing Chan on the dangers of going into a premature rut cycle.

I slipped away quietly while they argued, picking up Changbin’s scent easily. I followed it through the woods, admiring the quiet of the evening before a loud, exaggerated moan disrupted the tranquility. I should’ve known better than to follow it, especially as Changbin’s scent grew stronger. Still, I was completely unprepared to see him with another girl, body completely pressed against hers. 

“Where are you going?” he asked before I could turn back around.

I froze in place, watching him pull away from the other girl. His dark eyes were completely black, blown out with the influence of his obvious arousal. I glanced away quickly when I realized the girl’s top was missing. “Binnie,” she pouted, shaking his arm.

“Get lost,” he growled at her, and I looked up only when the other girl had stormed past me, making sure to hit her arm against mine.

“Are you following me?” Changbin teased, entire demeanor shifting as he sauntered over to me with a distinctly alpha posturing. 

“Your rut,” I informed him as if he wasn’t obviously aware.

“Yeah,” he agreed, grabbing my arm and pulling me against him. “You could help with that.”

“Changbin,” I started, losing all ability to speak when he started to scent me. It was a foreign sensation, as the only two male alphas who had dared touch the area were Jisung and Chan. I withheld a moan as one of his hands gripped tightly to my hair, wrenching my head back so that he could have better access to my scent gland. He let out a low, throaty growl, allowing his other hand to grab my ass, pulling me impossibly closer. I could feel his hard erection against my thigh.

He instinctively rutted his hips, as if to make sure I could feel all of him. “You aren’t used to that are you?” he asked and I was stunned by the bright red tint to his eyes. “I’ve seen Jisung and Chan in the locker room before. Do you even notice it when they’re fucking you?”

I moaned at his words, losing myself in the thick cloud of Changbin, his scent hanging in the air between us, summoning my basest instincts. “Are you gonna be good for me?” he continued, hands gripping my thighs before lifting me off the ground, forcing my legs to wrap around his waist. My back collided against the rough bark of the tree behind us, enough to temporarily knock the breath out of my lungs. 

Changbin’s scent grew thicker, and I knew he had entered his rut prematurely. I also knew how dangerous that could be, especially for alphas like Changbin: purebloods who were more in-tune with their inner wolves compared to most people, often losing out to their instincts in situations like this. But I had never been around an alpha like Changbin, and I was unable to grasp a single shred of rationality against his thick, blanketed rut smell.

He wanted to bite me too, I could tell from the way he insistently mouthed at my scent gland, tongue pressing against the swollen tissue, forcing more of the oily secretion to leak freely. “Changbin,” I managed, lost in a haze, half-heartedly pushing against his broad shoulders. 

He effortlessly muscled me to the ground, crawling over my weakening body, looking every part of the predator. “You want my knot?” he snarled, pushing my dress up my legs, leaving my lower half almost completely naked, save for the delicate lace protecting my modesty. But Changbin wasn’t deterred, removing the barrier before reclining back onto his knees, fingers quickly working apart his belt. “Tell me you want me, angel.”

The nickname appealed to every base Omegan instinct I had. 

“I do,” I groaned, tears beginning to fall because everything was overwhelming and left me completely distracted.

Suddenly, I instinctually arched my back, ignoring the awkward twist in my neck when he roughly penetrated me. I found out quickly that Changbin wasn’t a liar, his cock was considerably thicker compared to Jisung or Chan. It filled me with an almost painful stretch, partly because of the suddenance by which he had entered me, without warning or preparation. And his jeans were down just enough to release his cock, and the rough material was rubbing harsh red burns into the delicate skin of my thighs. “Changbin,” I whined. “It hurts.”

He grunted from above me, his pace slowing down, even if the exertion from doing so was evident in the contorted set to his mouth. But his knot was swelling fast, his rut state encouraging his body to fill me as quickly as possible and breed me full of his pups. In the heat of the moment, Changbin ignored everything except his alpha instincts, leaning down to bury his teeth into my scent gland. I was unprepared for the accompanying pain, letting out an uncharacteristic scream as he bit down, almost like he was trying to rip out my throat instead of leaving a mating bite.

And that’s how Jisung and Chan found us, locked together by Changbin’s knot, with blood streaking down the side of my neck.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Present

My most recent heat ended the next morning. It gave Jisung no reason to stay behind any longer. I insisted on seeing him off, allowing him to fuss over my outfit, complaining that I would be cold in my thin sweater. “Changbin will look after you,” Jisung said, appearing satisfied after adjusting his scarf around my neck, enveloping me in his sweet scent.

No, he won’t, I grumbled to myself. Because Changbin had been ignoring me for a whole week now, ever since his rut had ended. I always asked to help them through their ruts and Changbin was always hesitant to accept, ever since the night he mated me during the height of his passion. He never forgave himself for the unorthodox way he had done so, no matter how many times I told him that I had already moved on.

But Changbin had surprisingly accepted my most recent proposal and we had been locked away in his room for almost an entire week. Unfortunately, my body had grown exhausted with keeping up, as his heightened sex drive was impossible to satisfy. We had agreed not to knot again, but Changbin had been lost in the moment, a victim to his heightened alpha instincts. Changbin had accidentally forced his knot inside, even though my body had resisted. I was stuck in the infirmary overnight and the next morning, Changbin wouldn’t so much as look in my direction.

Jisung didn’t help matters, lecturing Changbin relentlessly while Chan refused to leave my side, coddling me like I was moments away from death rather than healing from a mundane injury. And Changbin always took things too seriously, so he was barely present in our camp, choosing instead to go on long hunts, leaving at dawn and returning well past nightfall. I was beyond irritated with the grumpy alpha, missing the calming effect of his dark scent. After so much time apart, our mating bond was suffering.

“Chan and I will be back in a few days,” Jisung continued, pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of my red-tinted nose. 

I pouted, knowing I would suffer without their affection, especially when Changbin made it clear that he wouldn’t bother. “Sungie,” I complained, wrapping my arms around him. I scented him deeply, hoping to at least remember the sweet vanilla for the remainder of the day.

“Princess,” Jisung gently pushed me back. “This isn’t like you.”

I’ve never been alone to suffer through Changbin’s moods, I wanted to tell him, but I knew it would only lead to more lecturing, and Changbin hated me enough. “I’m sorry,” I said, cursing my stupid omega emotions as the threat of tears burned the corners of my eyes. 

I spent the rest of the day locked in my room, scenting the sweaters Jisung and Chan had left behind for me. Chan’s scent was already starting to fade, which really upset my wolf more than I was expecting. Jisung and Changbin were so important to me, and I loved them more than anything else, but they did not reach me as deeply as Chan continued to do. Our bond had the most history, and our mating fulfilled even the deepest void of my soul:

I was already mated to Jisung and Changbin. They had left their respective marks on me. Jisung had insisted not long after the incident with Changbin. He waited until my next heat to mark me, choosing to place his bite further away from Changbin’s, on the fleshy part of my upper arm, easily hidden away by sleeves. I was surprised he had chosen such a spot as I figured Jisung would be the one to bite my neck, to proudly show off his mark, but Jisung continued to surprise me.

Changbin was slowly opening up to me, especially now that our shared bond allowed me to know how he was feeling before he was even aware. He still hated how it had happened, but I tried my best to show him that I would never hold that against him. I came to realize that Changbin and I were very much alike, introverted personalities aside. Changbin was very loyal, and he was always ready to defend me, which the submissive part of my instincts adored.

But I was still waiting for Chan to declare his Intention. Each day without a word on the subject concerned me. “He’s just waiting for the right moment,” Jisung tried to assure me.

And I thought the right moment would be Chan’s rut, but the alpha refused me when I asked to spend it with him. It hurt a part of me that only Chan could access, and the refusal weighed heavily during each subsequent day during which I knew Chan was suffering. Since Jisung was out of town, I snuck into Changbin’s bed, readily drowning myself in the alpha’s heady scent. “I know what you’re doing,” Changbin said, gently gliding his nose along my jawline. “I don’t like being a distraction.”

Well, sometimes the bond was annoying.

After an entire month passed with no word from Chan, I decided to confront him myself. Our graduation was nearing, and there was a lot to figure out with our situation. As my mates, Jisung and Changbin could choose to enter a new pack or start one of their own. I wouldn’t be inclined to have any say in the matter, as tradition dictated, and I knew the pair had been talking about forming their own pack. But leaving Chan behind was a scary thought, so I was growing desperate.

I cornered him after classes one day, reciting my monologue in my head so I wouldn’t forget a single word. “Chan,” I addressed him, “Can we talk?” The blonde-haired alpha let out a vague, noncommittal noise as he continued to mess around in his locker. “Jisung and Changbin have already done it,” I said, letting out a deep breath. “We’re already Declared and I know we’ve talked about Intention before. I think it might be nice to mate before school ends.”

Chan barely glanced up. “I can’t talk about this now, Myah. I have something to do after school.”

“Chan-” I tried again, but the alpha had already moved on, shutting his locker door before leaving me alone in the hallway.

----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3

“Have you seen Changbin?” I asked Felix, watching the younger alpha absent-mindedly skin the deer laid out on the table in front of us.

“I think he’s hunting,” Felix replied, frowning as he let out a disgusted sound. “It would be nice if he could skin his own kill every once in a while.”

“He’s always hunting,” I huffed in frustration.

Felix shrugged, “He’s probably not far out. He just left like fifteen minutes ago. You can probably catch up to him if you need something.”

I immediately heeded Felix’s suggestion, shifting forms carefully, as it had certainly been a while since I last allowed my wolf to takeover. However, I knew it would be much easier to catch up to Changbin with a better nose, relying purely on smell to find my tsundere mate. And I picked up on his trail fast, following his scent slowly while I still felt unsteady on the four legs replacing my usual two. I really needed to run more with Jisung when he offered. It was almost embarrassing how out-of-touch I felt with my hyper-active wolf, especially after experiencing yet another clumsy fall along the mountain rocks. 

I was fully committed to shifting every day.

Thankfully, I found Changbin quickly, distracted by the small doe grazing a hundred yards or so away. I waited patiently, making sure my scent was down-wind so that he couldn’t possibly blame me if he missed this kill. But Changbin was the pack’s best hunter, and he tracked down the unsuspecting creature with startling astuteness. 

It was as he was dragging the doe back down the cliffside that he spotted me. His dark brown wolf let out a grumpy growl as he walked over to where I waited. He let the prey fall from his mouth, regarding me with a look that I could only describe as reprimanding. 

I heard his voice speak clearly through our mind-link. “You shouldn’t be out here.”

I refused to back down. “You’re always hunting these days. How else was I supposed to talk to you?”

Changbin’s wolf was imposing as he stood over me. He was bigger than most wolves, and he exuded power and dominance. “Go back to camp.”

I watched as he leaned back down to pick up the doe. “Will you talk to me tonight?”

“I’m hunting late.”

I let out a sharp bark, racing ahead to block his path. “Why are you ignoring me?”

“Don’t act like this, Myah.” 

“I don’t understand why you can’t talk to me. Are you really going to punish me for something I already forgave you for?”

He bullied his way past me. “It’s dangerous up here. Now go home.”

Stung by his disregard, I obeyed his order, starting back down the path with much less spring than I had before. I glanced back over my shoulder at the big alpha, wondering if Changbin knew how much he was hurting me. 

But distractions were never a good thing on the mountain, and I heard the switch before I felt its claws. Unfortunately, I had failed to keep an eye on the path in front of me, as Changbin had constantly warned me about, but that didn’t make it any less shocking. Which is probably why, at first, the pain from the trap didn’t register over my surprise. But then I felt it deeply when I saw the blood. I let out a pained howl, instinctively trying to pry my leg away from the source of my pain. It only worsened the situation, the sharp edges digging brutally into my flesh. 

“Don’t move!”

I heard his command before I could scent him, but Changbin was suddenly there, burying his head into the side of my neck, releasing soothing alpha pheromones even as the pain grew to an unbearable level. I fell to the ground, craning my neck around to look at my mangled leg, bits of flesh and blood amidst the silver trap. I saw fingers next, faintly realizing Changbin had shifted to his human form, working at the trap.

Then I heard the mountain lion’s growl.

----------------------------------------------------

“I think Channie hates me,” I complained to Jisung, watching the alpha move about his room, a towel wrapped messily around his waist.

“Chan doesn’t hate you,” Jisung chided gently, digging for a pair of sweatpants out of his closet. 

“What did I do?” I asked, ignoring Jisung as I rolled onto my back, looking up at the ceiling.

“Chan’s just stressed,” Jisung said. “He’s got a lot of decisions to make.”

“Mating shouldn’t be a difficult decision,” I muttered because it was true. In fact, mating should be easy with the person you love.

“Don’t be impatient,” Jisung said, suddenly appearing above me. “Chan always thinks about everything too much, you know how he is.”

“It shouldn’t require any thinking,” I said, letting out a whine of protest when Jisung moved onto the bed, crowding me into the mattress. I broke off only when I was wrapped in Jisung’s arms, secure against his strong chest. His vanilla scent surrounded me, and I could tell he was releasing calming pheromones, which I appreciated.

“Everything will work out in time,” Jisung whispered, pressing a tender kiss to the side of my temple.

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Changbin!” I cried out through the bond, watching the mountain lion creep closer, likely smelling my blood in the air.

Changbin managed to open the trap and I whined as I pulled my leg free. “Can you shift?” he asked me, but I was in too much pain to concentrate so I shook my head, desperately trying to push myself onto all four legs, but collapsing back down each time. The mountain lion growled, haunches raised in an attack position. Changbin shifted back easily, his intimidating wolf forcing the lion to briefly reconsider its plan. “Don’t worry,” Changbin said, using the mind link to offer me calming reassurances.

I threw back my head to howl, hoping our other packmates could hear the call. Unfortunately, it also prompted the lion into action and it launched itself at Changbin. I watched in horror as it wrestled Changbin to his back, exposing his soft underbelly and tender throat. The sound of its claws slashing through fur and flesh was revolting and my stomach churned dangerously. Changbin fought back, using his hind legs to push the lion off, reclaiming an upright position before chasing after the lion, nipping at its weaker tendons. The lion stumbled on the loose rocks and Changbin brought it down, tearing into whatever flesh his teeth could sink into.

I looked away from the gruesome scene, calling out for Chan and Jisung through the mating bond, but they were probably too far away to hear my pleas. Instead, I let my wolf take control, and she slowly started limping us over to the coverage of the bushes, hoping to disguise the scent of our blood. However, the lion did not like her decision, losing sight of its easy prey. He managed to throw Changbin off, and I winced as his body crashed into the side of the rocks. I tried to throw myself forward but let out a pained yelp when I felt the lion’s teeth dig into my leg, pulling me away from my destination. 

I whined loudly, panting hard against wave after wave of pain, my flesh wound reopened by the lion’s unforgiving teeth. We started down the slope and I knew I was going to die. The lion would easily drag me somewhere it was familiar with, ripping into my throat before using my carcass as its meal for the next several days. I was poisoned with fear, watching my life slowly drain out onto the rocks around me.

But Changbin hadn’t given up, and the lion was unprepared for Changbin to attack again. My mate managed to wrestle the lion into a precarious position of weakness, immediately going for its throat and locking his teeth around its pulse point. I faintly observed Changbin pulling back with a large chunk of flesh between his teeth, my vision swimming in and out of focus. I did register Changbin’s dark scent, and his familiar voice trying to reach out to me, even as the blackness finally claimed me.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I knew Chan was going to break up with me. I could tell by his posture, by the distinct way he was hunched in on himself, doing no favors to his taller height. He was also unusually quiet, taking me by the hand to lead me to the meadow where we always played together as children. The one his mother had taken us to for the very first time when we were barely five years old. It was a special place full of meaning and Chan knew how important it was to me, how I always felt calmer when I was surrounded by the familiar daffodils.

He wanted me to be comfortable because the news he was going to deliver would likely break my heart. This was all I could think about when Chan finally turned around to face me, eyes distant and sorrowful. “Myah,” he said my name, and my heart reached out to him. “Do you love Jisung and Changbin?”

I was thrown by the unexpected question. “Of course I do.”

“You know they’ll always take care of you, right?”

Chan’s questions seemed misplaced. “What are you talking about?”

Chan sighed, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his jacket. “Jisung and Changbin are starting their own pack, you know.”

I nodded because it was usually all Jisung talked about. He was beyond excited to lead his own pack, and Changbin was relieved to get away and start his own family. Felix would be joining, along with several of their friends: Seungmin, Minho, Hyunjin, Jeongin, and Woojin. I was excited too because I adored the idea of starting something new, especially with my mates by my side. 

But that needed to include Chan as well.

“My father wants me to stay here,” he finally said. “He wants me to lead our pack in the future.”

I immediately shook my head. “You have to come with us, Chan. Jisung and Changbin are your best friends, and I-”

“I’ll get in the way,” Chan interrupted. “You already have two mates, Myah. They both adore you.”

“But I need you too,” I protested, squeezing our intertwined hands. “You mean so much to me, Chan. We’ve known each other since we were kids.”

“I know,” Chan agreed, pausing to look around, a nostalgic smile on his face. “We got into a lot of trouble together, but that was a long time ago. We both have to start considering our futures.”

I stepped in closer, eliminating more of the space between us, even though it still felt like it wasn’t enough. “My future means nothing without you in it.”

Chan’s expression softened. “I can’t do that to you.”

“You’ll break my heart,” I warned him. “You’ll hurt me and you promised you wouldn’t.”

“Not if you don’t let me,” Chan said. “You deserve a long life, Myah, with Jisung and Changbin.”

“With you,” I insisted earnestly. “Chan, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have Jisung or Changbin.”

“But you do have them,” he said. “You’ll always have them.”

He tenderly reached out, thumbing his way across Changbin’s mark on my neck. “But I need your mark.”

“It’s too much.”

“Not it’s not!” I disagreed, clutching even more tightly to him, feeling like he might vanish at any moment. “Chan, you made a promise to me! You can’t say these things. Please don’t leave me.”

I was starting to panic and Chan picked up on it, releasing more of his soothing scent which I consumed greedily, faced with the possibility of never having it again. “I’ll visit when I can.”

“It won’t be the same,” I trembled, disregarding the space he tried to maintain, collapsing into his arms.

“You’ll move on.”

“No, I won’t,” I insisted, leaning up to scent him. “Why are you doing this? Why bother even promising it to me if you never planned on keeping it?” 

He winced as if my comment caused him physical pain. “At one point, I did intend to keep it, but then you mated with Jisung and Changbin. I could see the change in you, the way you looked happier around them. You really don’t need me anymore, Myah. It’s just hard to let go of the past.”

My tears were soaking through his t-shirt, but I knew Chan didn’t care. “If you leave me, I’ll miss you every day. You’re my best friend, Chan. My soulmate.”

“Be good for me,” he whispered into my hair. 

“Stop it!” I harshly interjected, abruptly pulling out his arms, startling both of us. “Stop saying that you’re leaving. If you really loved me, then you would stay.” Chan was at a loss for words, opening his mouth before closing it again. “I don’t care about our pack now,” I continued, “I care about the one I’m building, and I refuse to be a part of it without you. How can you not understand how much you mean to me? I don’t just want you, Chan, I need you! I depend on you for so much and if you left, I’ll be completely empty, because you won’t be there to fill those places anymore.”

I was incoherent, tasting my salty tears as I shook my head vigorously, refusing to acknowledge Chan’s words. Empty threats, that’s all they were. Chan had been mine from the moment we met, and nothing would ever tear us apart. No matter how many people came between us, or how many fights we got into, or how he could ever think we’d be able to live without one another. Chan caught me in his arms before my knees gave out and he brought us both to the ground, holding me close as I cried against his chest. “What can I do to convince you?” I pleaded with him. “I’ll do anything.”

For a while he was quiet and I continued to sob those terrible soul-wrenching cries that jarred the places inside of me that was frightening. Dark places I tried to hide away, like the evil voice that sometimes whispered that I wasn’t good enough for any of them. That voice might be right, but I always did my best. I would always fight for them.

Finally, Chan gently encouraged me to lean back, drying my tears with his sleeves. He picked up my wrist, brushing his lips across the blue-colored veins decorating the surface of my creamy skin. “Shall I do it here?” he asked, glancing up at me with eyes that reminded me of home.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I could only smell Changbin when I woke up, dizzy with the after-effects of restless sleep. His scent was spiked with fear. It was enough to pull me back to consciousness, and I blinked against the blinding white light infiltrating my line of vision. “Ah,” a familiar voice spoke. “You’re finally awake?”

I glanced over at Woojin. “How long have I been out?”

“A day or so,” he replied, “But I think it was the trauma. Your leg will take some time to heal.”

I sat up slowly, listening to Woojin’s advice while leaning back against the bed frame. “Is it really bad?”

“I’ve seen worse, but that was back during my training. You’re the first real injury we’ve had in the new pack.”

“That sucks,” I said, and Woojin chuckled. 

“Your mates have been worrying all night,” Woojin informed me. “I couldn’t get Changbin to leave. His scent was everywhere.”

“I can smell it,” I acknowledged. “But when you say mates-”

“Felix freaked out,” Woojin said, rolling his eyes. “He and Seungmin ran all the way to the border, and I’m sure they made it sound far worse than it actually was.”

“That was an important meeting,” I said. “They shouldn’t have done that.”

“Well, Felix is young, and it’s hard to be in your right mind when the third in command is running around nearly hysterical. I had to give Changbin some morphine, his body was halfway between wolf and human. It wasn’t pleasant to see.”

“Great,” I muttered because I didn’t like the idea of everything falling apart over me.

“They can return to the northern lands later,” Woojin said as if he knew exactly what I had been thinking. “I’m sure Taeyong would gladly welcome back Chan and Jisung. He has a mate of his own and understands how it feels to be away when they’re hurt.”

“I can’t really move it,” I said, frowning at my immobile leg. “Is that normal?”

“It’s the cast,” Woojin explained. “Do you feel well enough to talk to your alphas?”

I groaned at the idea of dealing with their high-strung whining, mothering me to the point where I felt suffocated. Woojin grinned. “I can tell them you’re still sleeping.”

“Maybe for tonight,” I agreed.

Not because I didn’t love them, of course, but because they could turn into an absolute nightmare when their alpha instincts insisted I was on my deathbed as opposed to a sterile hospital cot frowning down at my cast. 

It would be a long recovery.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I could feel Chan everywhere. 

I tried not to wince at the pain, instead of focusing on the growing bond, ignoring the way his teeth sank into my wrist, eyes bright with a vivid orange color. Instead, I only thought about Chan and it made the pain bearable. I thought about his lovely hair, naturally curly, thick strands soft between my fingers. I thought about his gorgeous eyes or the wicked slope of his nose. I thought about his handsome features, and how his smile completely eclipsed even the lowest of my moods. I thought about his warm voice and familiar scent, the rich smell of pine that reminded me of my childhood.

I thought about the way Chan made love to me, treating me like I was fragile. His body covering mine, sheltering me under his protective form. His soft kisses drawing small moans, encouraging him to give more. His pulsing cock inside of me, filling me to the brim with all the love he could give. A special kind of love incomparable to the way I felt with Jisung or Changbin.

Because Chan was encompassing. He was everywhere, present at all the points in my life I could remember, good or bad. And he filled all my empty places, the darkest parts of myself that I hated, but he managed to bring light to them all. He was everything I needed to feel complete, marked by three alpha wolves who would do absolutely anything my heart desired.

I was finally me.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 4

I was losing my mind, and it was because of my three alpha mates.

I had yet to have a moment to myself in nearly a week, always shadowed by Jisung or Chan or Changbin. They hovered around me, tending to me like I was a child instead of the woman they regularly had sex with. I was beyond annoyed with their behavior, growing restless because every time I attempted to stand up, one of them was always there, lifting me into their strong arms. “Where to Myah?” or “Where are we going Princess?” or “Where do you want me to take you, Angel?”

My leg was practically healed. Woojin had even said so, coming to my room and updating my prognosis, now merely a long scar, nodding to himself slowly. “It’s almost healed,” he declared. “You should be fine, Myah.”

All three of my mates let out collective sighs like it was the most anticipated news of the century. “Woojin, I can start walking again, right?”

“Maybe soon, Myah.”

I tried not to sigh because Woojin wouldn’t have known that I required a straight answer. His response was vague enough to likely convince Jisung that I would be out of commission for another week. “What about more antibiotics?” Jisung fretted now, digging through Woojin’s bag. “Did you bring any?”

Woojin snatched his bag away from Jisung, glowering in his direction. “She doesn’t have an infection.”

“I can still smell it,” Changbin insisted, scenting the air with a studious expression that I would normally find hilarious under any other circumstances.

“Maybe another dosage wouldn’t hurt,” Chan added, perched on the edge of my bed, fingers running through my hair while he ignored my frown.

“It’s unnecessary,” Woojin insisted. 

“What about more pain killers?”

“Should it still be elevated?”

“Will it be okay in the water now?”

Woojin’s eyes widened, glancing between my three mates with evident exhaustion. “Honestly, some time away from the three of you would be best for Myah.”

Jisung protested immediately, launching into a long tirade about how Woojin wouldn’t understand how they felt since he didn’t have a mate of his own. And Jisung’s more spirited lectures tended to last far longer than necessary, so I somewhat eagerly awaited for Woojin’s inevitable breaking point. However, perhaps graciously, the sudden appearance of Felix interrupted Jisung’s passionate speech. “Chan,” the younger asked, glancing at me with uncertainty as if he wasn’t sure he could deliver his news with me present. “Another messenger from the NCT pack visited. They’d like to reschedule your meeting soon.”

“Impatient,” Chan grumbled. “Maybe in another week.”

I was ready to protest, knowing another week would be unnecessary. However, Felix beat me to it, supplying another idea that I wasn’t exactly too fond of either. “What if we asked NCT to come here instead?”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Jisung agreed, reaching over to ruffle Felix’s hair. “Nice job, kid.”

Felix frowned, giving me an apologetic look before closing the door. Meanwhile, Woojin was whispering quietly to Changbin, and their eyes kept roaming in my direction. What else was I supposed to think they were talking about?

I glared down at Chan and Jisung as they started crawling into bed on either side of me, snuggling against my sides. “Are you tired, Princess?” Jisung asked, leaning in to scent me.

Thanks to you guys, I wanted to say, but withheld the urge, managing a small nod to satisfy them. “I’ll come to check on you tomorrow, Myah,” Woojin said, and my eyes sorrowfully followed him all the way out the door, groaning when I heard Changbin announce it was time for another bath.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I wanted to be with my mates when we formally greeted the NCT representatives, but they forced me to stay in bed. I was a little heartbroken because I had been looking forward to meeting new faces. It was always exciting when new scents were around. Thankfully, kind-hearted Amelia, Hyunjin’s beautiful Omega mate, was keeping me company. The usually soft-spoken female was chattering openly about the unexpected size of the NCT diplomats. Apparently, Chan was very unhappy having so many foreigners around. “Do they have accents?” I asked.

Amelia giggled. “Some of them do. Not all of them are from the north, apparently.”

“I want to see them,” I sighed, glaring at my leg. “I hate being bedridden.”

“Maybe I can help you sneak out?” Amelia suggested mischievously. 

I briefly entertained the idea. “There’s no way I can get past three alphas. Especially Changbin, he’s too good at catching my scent.”

Amelia pouted, sharing my disappointment. “There’s a big dinner tonight to welcome them. Maybe you can convince them to let you go.”

But even such a simple request was like pulling teeth. 

“Please Channie,” I pleaded with my mate, nuzzling against him in the way I knew he liked, batting my eyelashes as I put on my best pout. 

Chan, however, was undeterred. “Not like this, Myah,” he said sternly. “There’s too many of them.”

Fine, I had two other mates who were less stoic. 

“I don’t think so, angel,” Changbin chuckled, further crushing my hopes.

“Chan already told you no, Princess,” Jisung said, but his resolve was not nearly as strong.

“Please, Sungie,” I tried again. “It would really mean a lot to me.”

“Well, maybe for a little while-”

-------------------------------------------------------------

And that’s how I found myself talking animatedly with Amelia and her younger sister, Lila, while the three of us eagerly made easy work of the feast the pack had prepared for our visitors. “I can’t believe they let you come!” Lila said at one point, shock evident on her face. “Chan made it sound like you would be out for weeks!”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s just being dramatic.”

“Mates are always dramatic,” Amelia agreed, glancing over at Hyunjin who was laughing with Felix and a few NCT members.

“They keep looking over here,” Lila said nervously and I immediately turned to glare at Changbin, the dark-haired boy sheepishly returning to his conversation with Seungmin.

“Ignore them,” I insisted. “Tell me about the newcomers.”

“Taeyong couldn’t make it,” Amelia said, “but he sent his Beta.” She nodded towards the smaller boy talking with Chan and Jisung. “Mark.”

I appraised him carefully, deciding his appearance must be deceitful, as he certainly didn’t look capable of harming a fly. “He brought seven wolves with him,” Amelia informed me. “That’s a lot more than we were expecting.”

“It’s disconcerting,” Lila admitted. “I think that’s why Chan is so suspicious.”

“They haven’t said anything to me,” I shrugged.

“They’re too worried about keeping you inside all day,” Amelia groaned dramatically. “The kitchens are boring without you!”

“I miss working,” I admitted. “I just wish Woojin would take the cast off.”

“He probably doesn’t want to take any chances,” Lila inserted. “After all, you are the pack alpha’s mate.”

“If it was up to Chan, I would stay at home every day,” I said, frowning. 

“He’s overprotective,” Amelia said. “All alphas are.”

“I like being outside and he knows that,” I said, suddenly feeling a burning irritation towards my mates, especially after having my first taste of freedom in over a week.

“Looks like Haechan is coming back,” Amelia teased her little sister and I glanced up at the approaching male.

“Hello,” Haechan bowed respectfully. I grinned at Lila’s blush. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Myah.”

“Likewise,” I returned. “I’ve been dealing with an injury lately.”

“Your mates told us,” Haechan said, nodding to the empty seat next to Lila. “Can I join?”

Lila let out a weak noise, perhaps agreement, and Haechan slid into the seat next to her. “Tell us about the north?” I asked eagerly, drowning out all other discussions as I allowed Haechan’s descriptions to fill my head. The north sounded beautiful, a land of snow and ice, unbearably cold in the winters, but rather pleasant during the hotter seasons. It wasn’t a long distance from the valley. An easily manageable walk when (and if) my mates ever decided I could make use of my own two feet again.

“I want to go! I think it sounds like a dream.”

“It’s fine,” Haechan said dismissively, but the look in his eyes told another story.

-------------------------------------------------------------  

“You should ask Changbin.”

I glanced up in surprise. “You don’t want to help with my heat?”

Jisung always took pride in being my first choice, especially since it provided a way for us to spend some time alone together, even if I was an incoherent mess for most of the duration. It’s not that I didn’t want to be with Chan or Changbin, but Chan was rather aggressive when I was in heat and I had never asked Changbin before. He was adamant about refusing sex during his ruts, so I figured he would have a similar attitude when it came time for my heats.

Jisung shrugged. “I think Changbin is upset that you never ask him.”

“He’s never said anything before...” In fact, the idea of Changbin being upset over something like this was hard to grasp.

“Well, I think it’s because he thinks you don’t want him,” Jisung said.

I scoffed at the ridiculous statement. “He never lets me near him when he’s rutting. I figured he wouldn’t want anything to do with my heats.”

“I think you’re wrong this time, princess,” Jisung said. “Changbin’s told me before that he’s always available to help if I’m not feeling up to it.”

“Huh,” I drawled, deciding I felt very inconsiderate at that moment. I suppose I just got used to asking Jisung whenever my symptoms started to flare up. It became habitual, and I didn’t stop to think about how my other mates might feel. “Well, I guess I can ask him instead.”

Jisung offered an encouraging smile. “I think it will make him very happy.”

I found Changbin later that day, sparring outside with Chan. The two were imposing as wolves, teeth bared and jaws snapping at one another. I glanced around with amusement at the younger alphas, watching the exchange with wide, curious eyes. I had forgotten that Chan and Changbin were teaching the sparring classes now that Hyunjin was away with his mate, spending time with Amelia’s family before the two returned. 

I waited patiently for my two mates to finish, taking the time to admire how powerful they were together. Chan and Changbin were both larger for their size, extending from years of impressive breeding and mating with strong bloodlines. Of course, no other wolf in the pack could really compare to Changbin. He was by far the largest wolf I had ever seen, easily eclipsing Jisung in size and somehow managing to even make Chan look like a pup. 

The two were talking in low voices together, wearing nothing but sweatpants when I approached them after their lesson. Changbin picked up on my scent first, eyes easily locating me from amongst the other members of our pack. Chan followed his gaze and a wide smile filled out the corners of his lips. “I’m surprised to see you here,” Chan gushed while proceeding to crush me against his much stronger body. 

“Too much,” I tried to tell him, but eventually surrendered, taking in his familiar scent with a deep inhale.

“Do you need something, angel?” Changbin asked, proving to be my saving grace when Chan’s arms finally released me.

I took in a deep breath. “Actually, I’d like to talk to you.”

“This sounds serious,” Chan remarked, leaning in close as if the answer were waiting in my scent.

“Alone,” I emphasized, giving Chan a pointed look.

He let out a dramatic sigh but conceded the space I needed. However, I still waited until he was far enough away before reaching out to Changbin. “Let’s go somewhere quieter.” I wrapped my hand around his bicep, directing him through the lingering crowd of our packmates. Changbin grabbed a black t-shirt on the way, stretching it out over his head.

I was suddenly nervous when we were finally alone, anxiously fidgeting in front of the bigger alpha. “So, how is everything?” I asked cautiously, trying to reformulate my proposal, hoping to make it sound as casual as possible.

Changbin arched one brow. “Are you alright, Myah?”

I let out a nervous giggle. “I have something to ask you.”

Changbin nodded, encouraging me to continue. “I’m listening.”

“That thing is coming up,” I started, wincing when I realized I was already messing everything up.

Changbin smirked. “That thing?”

“Yeah,” I agreed as if he could possibly understand what I was talking about. “I was wondering if you wanted to help.”

Changbin crossed his arms over his chest, the sleeves of his black t-shirt straining. “Angel, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“My heat, Changbin! I want you to help me with my heat.”

My face was red, and I could feel my cheeks heating up because I knew how rushed I just sounded. The words had spilled out carelessly in one of the worst proposals in Werewolf history. Changbin even looked surprised, looking down at me wordlessly. “Uh, I mean, if you don’t want to-”

“I’d love to help,” Changbin finally said, a genuine, and rare, smile brightening his dark features. 

“Well, I know you’ve been busy lately-”

“Angel,” he interrupted again, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me closer. He pressed a brief kiss to my forehead. “I’ve been waiting to hear you ask for a while now.” I leaned up to nose at his scent gland, amazed that he could ease my tension with just a few, select touches.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Five

“Have you ever had sex as a wolf?”

“Are you serious?”

Lila turned over on her side. “Have you?”

“You don’t need to know that,” I tried to protest, even as she let out a triumphant noise while poking my blushing cheek.

“Was it Changbin?” Lila asked mischievously. “I bet that was hot.”

I frowned in her direction. “This isn’t a normal conversation.”

“I know,” Lila grinned, “but Felix said it wasn’t possible. I just want to prove him wrong.”

“The two of you always have such thoughtful discussions,” I remarked, admiring the stars shivering from overhead, distant ornaments of light that managed to shine so bright, forgoing millions of miles to demand our attention.

“Myah,” Lila spoke up nervously. “Would you be angry at me if I left the pack?”

That definitely caught my attention. “What?”

Lila shuffled closer to me, seeking out my additional warmth. “I really like Haechan, but if I mated with him, I would have to leave.”

I swallowed hard, the idea of never again seeing Lila sitting uncomfortably on my heart. “If you like him, then you should go. I would never be angry at you.”

“Really?”

I nodded, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “It will give me an excuse to visit the north.”

Lila shifted, her chin digging into my shoulder. “Was it hard to leave your old pack?”

“No, but I was okay because I had my mates. It makes it easier.”

“Were you afraid?”

“A little, but change can be scary. Doing something you’ve never done before forces you out of your comfort zone.”

Lila sighed, but seemed content with my response, the two of us lying beneath the stars while enjoying the peaceful quiet of the night.

-------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m really nervous,” I told Jisung, pacing back and forth along the hardwood floors of my room.

“It’s just Changbin,” Jisung said, sifting through my closet for something to take back to his room. Jisung claimed he would miss my scent too much, so I reluctantly gave him free rein of my closet.

“Changbin has never seen me on my heats,” I pointed out. “I’m practically delirious.”

“But it's adorable,” Jisung soothed, dragging out one of my favorite sweaters.

“It’s embarrassing,” I countered. “You used to laugh at me.”

“I don’t anymore,” he teased, protesting when I took the sweater from him.

“Pick something else!”

Jisung tuttered, grabbing one of my jackets instead. “Your heat might hit tonight if you’re not careful.”

“I’m under control,” I assured him, but I still decided that sitting on the bed might be a better alternative to my incessant pacing.

“Changbin is really excited,” Jisung said, sniffing the collar of my jacket. “He hasn’t stopped talking about it all week.”

“Well, I hope he doesn’t have high expectations. You know how messy it gets.”

“I don’t think he’ll care, princess,” Jisung explained. “I think Changbin is just glad you’re trusting him with this.”

Leave it to Jisung to always remind me when I was acting irrationally.

-------------------------------------------------------------

“I haven’t had sex in two weeks,” I vented to Amelia the next morning, leaning against her body for support as we walked through the woods. 

“Join the club,” she muttered. “Hyunjin has been too busy with NCT.”

“Alphas,” I chimed in, grateful I had managed to convince my three to allow me permission to walk alone with Amelia for a while. 

“And Lila wants to mate one?” she grimaced. 

“She’d be better off alone,” I concurred, wondering if it was too late to convince Lila to dump Haechan and stay here with us.

Amelia sighed, “It’s hard to believe Jisung could say no to you.”

“That was before a lion tried to tear my leg off.”

“So they’ve friend-zoned you because of your injury?” Amelia queried, before nodding slowly. “That’s why they’ve been super aggressive lately. They haven’t had anyone to stick their knots in.”

“I’m not resisting,” I declared. “I wish I had faster heat cycles.”

Amelia laughed, “Trust me, you’re lucky you only get them 3 or 4 times a year. Heats always suck, even with a mate.”

“That’s true, and I can’t control anything I say or do. It gives the boys more blackmail against me.”

“Jisung or Chan, sure,” Amelia relented. “But I can’t possibly imagine Changbin saying anything. Isn’t his job to be brooding?”

He might be brooding, but Changbin liked to tease too.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I had fairly warned Changbin before my heat officially settled in. I told him that I’d probably say ridiculous things or act completely out of my element. He had laughed away my concerns. “I’ll take care of you, Angel.”

But I think he was still caught off-guard.

“Binnie,” I whined rather pathetically, a nickname I would later come to regret. I pawed at my sleeping mate, hand sneaking underneath the waistband of his sweatpants, squeezing at his cock. 

Changbin was slow to rise, letting out a low moan as he reached down for my hand. “What time is it?” he asked as if I could possibly know. Time became irrelevant when I was lost in my headspace. 

“I need a knot,” I told him, unrelenting in my efforts to get him hard, despite the look of exhaustion on his face. 

“Alright, angel,” Changbin groaned, forcing himself to crawl over top of me, leaning down to kiss me softly. 

But I didn’t want Changbin’s soft kisses. I wanted to feel the glide of his tongue against mine, and I really hated those stupid sweatpants he was wearing. I tugged at them, pulling at the drawstring while forcing my tongue past his lips. Changbin let out a noise of surprise, attempting to pull away, but was completely unprepared for the way I chased after him, grabbing him roughly by the scruff of his neck to hold him in place while I resumed our frantic kisses.

I was struggling with his sweatpants, trying to push them down enough to free what I really wanted. However, to my frustration, the material was caught on the swell of his ass, and Changbin was far too gone in our passionate kiss to understand why I was whining into his mouth. But he wasn’t able to ignore the sudden appearance of my tears.

“What’s wrong, Myah?” he asked, lips swollen as he looked me over, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Binnie,” I sniffled, grinding up against him, panting at the friction I was creating. “Why won’t you let me have it?”

Changbin pulled back and I let out a pathetic cry, reaching out for him, even as he gently guided my hands back to my chest. “I’ll make it better, angel,” he promised, and I watched with delight as he worked his sweatpants down his firm thighs, kicking them into the floor. I could finally see his cock, erect against his abdomen, and my inner wolf practically howled in delight. 

I instinctively released more pheromones and Changbin craned his neck back, eyes fluttering closed as the sweet smell started to cloud the air around us. I pushed his malleable form back against the bed, crawling down his body until I could pepper kisses around the sensitive skin of his thighs. I nosed my way closer to his arousal, the source of my desires, ready to do anything to get the knot my inner wolf craved.

Changbin let out a grunt when I took him into my mouth, tongue smoothly running over the leaking tip, tasting his bitter pre-cum. It was like Changbin was everywhere, his scent filling my nose while his taste coated my mouth, saliva dripping from my lips as I tried to take him in as much as I could, all the way down to the promising swell at his base.

“Myah,” Changbin warned, thrusting into my warm, eager mouth. 

I hummed around him, knowing he would appreciate my efforts, and I wanted desperately to please Changbin. Every instinct was screaming at me to give him pleasure because then he would give me his knot. 

Changbin growled, his scent shifting into something far more dominant, taking charge of the situation as he wrestled me onto my back, grabbing my hands and holding them above my head. “Look at you,” he sneered, teeth nipping at my jawline. They felt far sharper than usual and I knew I was in trouble.

Changbin made quick work of the rest of my clothes, hands gripping my thighs roughly as he parted them, breath hot against my folds. “Please,” I shamelessly begged him, and he didn’t tease, not like Jisung might have, but Changbin was always quick when it came to sex.

His tongue led a seductive trail up my slit and I watched with eager eyes as he lapped at my leaking arousal. He was growling again, sucking harshly at the tiny bud-shaped gland that brought the first wave of pleasure. I could feel it building in my abdomen, spreading all the way to my toes as they curled against the sheets. And as good as it felt, I knew Changbin could spend hours eating me out, and that’s not what I needed from him.

I told him as much, pulling harshly at his thick black hair, urging him to give me the knot that was still steadily growing the longer we kept up this intimate foreplay. “Is that what you want, angel?” he finally snarled, eliciting a sharp yelp from me when he suddenly flipped me over onto my stomach, manipulating me into place as he closed in behind me, giving me no warning before bottoming out in one well-calculated thrust.

And I could already feel the knot, dragging against my inner walls.

His powerful torso was pressing against my back, one hand supporting himself, while the other grabbed my breast, squeezing with more force than he probably meant to allow. But every move went straight to my impending orgasm, so I didn’t really care. His grunts were right next to my ear, and his body was touching mine everywhere. I was drowning in Changbin, but it satisfied my primal urges, especially once his knot caught on my entrance, unable to leave my body now that we were connected. The movement also snapped the delicate string holding my orgasm back and I was now sobbing into the mattress, chanting his name as he continued to grind himself inside, emptying his release as deep as he could manage.

“Binnie,” I cried, barely cognizant of his efforts to lay me down on my side, breathing heavily against the back of my neck. 

“I got you, angel,” he said, voice still husky from our coupling. 

“It’s good,” I trembled, sniffling back the promise of fresh tears as I clenched tightly around his engorged length. “Don’t take it.”

Changbin chuckled. “I can’t really do that right now, angel. It might take a while.”

“It’s mine,” I grumbled, instinctively leaning in closer to his warmth. “My knot.”

“Better than Jisung, right?” Changbin ventured, laughing when I nodded my head, arching my neck back just enough to inhale more of his scent. He released more of the pheromones I craved and I whimpered at its effect on my body. “Binnie, huh?” he suddenly questioned, hand smoothing its way down my hip. “I like it.” 

I started purring at his praise, which would have humiliated me under any other circumstances, but not when I felt so content. “I’m not going to let you forget this, Myah,” He snickered, digging his fingers into my fleshy thigh.

I was under a heat-induced coma and didn’t really care.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 6

NCT finally left after securing our alliance, and I was feeling down without Lila around. 

Amelia was far worse, lamenting the loss of her sister to anyone who was nearby. Hyunjin usually took the brunt of her tirades, listening with admirable patience. As for me, well I complained to my mates whenever they would listen because that was supposed to be part of their job description. Which is why I thoroughly voiced my complaints whenever it seemed like they were trying to tune me out.

Meanwhile, I was finally able to start walking again, but freedom came with a price and one of my mates was always lingering, watching me from afar. I started working in the kitchens again, grateful to return to something I felt passionate about in addition to my artwork. Life was resuming back to normal in the pack, a new alliance cause enough for celebration.

I even managed to talk Jisung out of his pants in the midst of the festivities. It was some of the best sex I’d ever experienced, leaving me breathless and aching in the places that had started to gather dust while I was still on the shelf. But I also knew complete normalcy would take a while, especially for Changbin who had actually been present to witness my gruesome injury.

Unfortunately, like all good things in life, the lighthearted moods soon came to an end when one of our border patrols returned to camp reporting suspicious scents. Chan, as head alpha, took the threats seriously, immediately going to investigate. Unsurprisingly, Changbin was already calling for blood before the situation had even been fully assessed.

My alpha mates rarely argued. In fact, I could only recall one real instance of a fight that had almost resulted in violence. It was almost bad enough to break apart the pack before we had even started:

-------------------------------------------------------------

Jisung was always more talkative after a good orgasm, especially when said ecstasy came courtesy of one of my coveted blow jobs. I was pressed into Jisung’s side, head resting on his chest as I listened to his heartbeat gradually slow to its normal gentle thud. “Have you talked to Chan about moving the new pack?”

Jisung and Changbin had originally claimed the rights to a nice patch of land along the eastern border, but after some more scouting from Felix and Minho, they decided to try somewhere further down the river. Personally, I liked the riverside land better because it was closer to the mountains. 

In response, Jisung grunted, carding his fingers through my hair. “Chan will agree with us. The new land has more prey.”

“How tempting,” I teased him. “Can we start moving in?”

Jisung chuckled. “Don’t be impatient, princess. We still haven’t decided on head alpha yet.”

“I thought you would just do it,” I said indifferently because it didn’t really seem like a big deal to me, but that was my first mistake.

Jisung tensed at my side. “It was my idea,” he grumbled, a faint growl underlying his tone.

I hesitated to speak any further on the subject, but I was concerned that my mates were having problems deciding who would lead our pack. “Is something wrong?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, leaving no room for further inquiry. Instead, he distracted me with a kiss.

-------------------------------------------------------------

And now, my three alphas were on edge again, disagreeing with one another on just about everything involving the potential threat. Changbin wanted to follow the scents and lead a preemptive attack while Chan insisted we should investigate first and try diplomacy. Meanwhile, Jisung wanted to call our new NCT allies back to fortify the camp, defending his belief that we required “strength in numbers.”

Of course, I was caught in the middle. The three boys currently hated one another and they didn’t want to share me at all. Changbin, being so much more in-sync with his wolf, was the worst, insisting I stay with him every night because he was, and I quote, “the only one competent enough to protect me.”

However, staying with Changbin at night only made things worse as I predicted they would. During the day, my mates would often corner me alone, scenting me so heavily that I grew light-headed. They were obviously trying to leave their mark on me, trying to outdo one another in this tedious argument they were stubbornly insisting on furthering. Nothing was being solved, and that only meant our pack was in constant danger from the potential threat at our borderlines.

The tension finally spilled over one afternoon after I had left the pack  to have a good run in the woods. I was feeling restless, especially as the entire pack remained on edge with the threats. I always found exercising to be relieving in a lot of different capacities, but I had also made a promise to myself to shift more often. I didn’t set out to worry anyone, which is why I was surprised to start feeling distress pulling at the edges of my mating bond. My wolf let out a whine as I turned back to camp, tasting the air and wondering if we were being attacked.

An invisible rope was tugging on my heart, urging me to return to camp, so I obeyed it, especially as it started to escalate my steadily pounding pulse. I trotted at a faster pace, slightly cautious in case something bad had happened while I was gone. Everything seemed perfectly normal this morning, and I vaguely recalled eating breakfast with Chan while trying to ignore the envious glares being sent in our direction from Jisung and Changbin. 

I hated it when my mates got competitive with one another as if my attention was a prize to be won. Lately, the three had been worse than usual, constantly looking to rile up the others with taunts and insults. Honestly, it would probably surprise anyone to hear that the three of them were supposedly best friends. 

A loud, threatening growl startled me into a sprint, racing down the mountainside to reach camp. Because I knew who that growl belonged to and Changbin wasn’t afraid to bare his teeth when he was angry. I skidded to a halt outside the perimeter of the main courtyard, eyes widening in surprise when I saw Changbin and Chan engaged in a vicious staredown, pacing around one another as if seeking an opening to attack. 

Jisung was still in his human form, looking quite frazzled as he attempted to pacify the two bigger wolves. Meanwhile, our other packmates looked on with trepidation. “What’s going on here?” I demanded, shifting pack to human form so that I could question Jisung. 

“Myah!” 

I braced myself as Jisung gathered me into his arms, holding me above ground as he buried his nose into my scent gland. His grip was unrelenting, and I could feel his fear through our mating bond. “What’s wrong?” I asked. However, before Jisung could answer, Changbin had broken his confrontation with Chan to intercede, letting out a growl which Jisung heeded, giving Changbin space to push his head against my side. “You’re too strong,” I reprimanded him, trying to push his giant head away to give myself more space. Instead, I found myself overwhelmed, falling onto my backside with an unattractive squeak that would normally lead to some sort of teasing from Jisung.

However, nothing was funny about this situation, especially when Chan’s wolf decided to read Changbin’s actions as aggressive. He came to my defense, knocking Changbin away with a threatening snarl, taking an unexpected protective stance in front of me, blocking me from everyone else’s view. “Channie,” I winced, feeling the soreness start to spread up my tailbone.

But Chan wasn’t listening to me. Instead, he was completely focused on Changbin, mirroring his threatening posture, haunches raised and teeth bared. I was completely helpless, stunned into silence while my two alpha mates continued to search for the perfect opening to attack. Meanwhile, Jisung was still trying to play peacekeeper, holding out his hands to show his surrender. “Chan,” he tried, “this isn’t really the best time to fight with Changbin.” Chan’s giant silver-haired wolf snapped in Jisung’s direction and I watched my mate roll his eyes. “You’re supposed to be the mature one!”

“Why are they like this?” I asked Jisung, slowly rising to my feet despite the flaring pain from my unexpected fall.

“We couldn’t find you this morning,” Jisung pouted. “Changbin blamed Chan because he was the last one to see you. I didn’t think it would escalate so fast.”

“This is irresponsible,” I snapped, reaching out to dig my fingers into Chan’s side. “Stop it, Chan! I’m being serious.”Chan’s wolf turned to look at me, a message to stay back clearly illuminated in the brilliant flecks of his irises. “You’re supposed to be the leader! Why don’t you act like it?”

Chan let out a whine as he gently nudged his head against me. “Lay off, Changbin,” Jisung growled from somewhere to my right.

“Can I talk to you, please?” I asked Chan. “As a human?”

Chan’s look could only be described as chastened once he started to shift back, pale skin replacing his silvery-colored fur. He immediately wrapped me into his arms, one hand buried in my hair as he forced his nose against my scent gland. “You scared me.”

“And you scared me,” I retorted, glaring over his shoulder at Changbin who must have also shifted back at some point. However, unlike Chan, Changbin seemed completely unapologetic, rage still darkening his features. 

“Where were you this morning?”

“I went for a walk.”

“By yourself? When there are rogue wolves wandering our borderlines?”

I huffed at Changbin’s attitude, wrestling free from Chan’s unrelenting grip so that I could face my furious mate. “I don’t need permission.”

“No, but you could have at least given us some courtesy,” Changbin argued, folding his arms in a way that told me he was closing himself off, completely set on whatever wrongdoing he had decided I committed.

“I’m sorry,” I offered, hoping to appease everyone, especially since several of our packmates still loitered around, despite Jisung’s command for them to return to their assignments. “But the two of you shouldn’t be fighting.”

“This isn’t something we should have to worry about,” Changbin continued. “But Chan doesn’t seem to understand the gravity of our situation. Our lead alpha has grown soft.”

Chan let out a little growl as he pushed me behind him. “I’m doing the best I can. We don’t know anything about these wolves.”

“Exactly,” Changbin grunted. “We shouldn’t underestimate them.”

“And I’m not,” Chan insisted. “I already agreed with Jisung’s plan to call back NCT for reinforcements.”

“It’s not enough,” Changbin snarled. “We should put that numbers advantage to good use.”

“By slaughtering rogue wolves who are likely just passing through the territory?”

“And what if they aren’t? How do you know they won’t attack?”

“I don’t know! But neither do you.”

“How would you feel if one of them attacked Myah?” Changbin challenged and a chilling silence fell over the four of us. 

“Are you saying I would put my mate in danger?” Chan eventually asked as he took a step forward in Changbin’s direction.

Changbin held his ground. “She’s my mate too and that’s why I’ve done everything in my power to make sure she stays safe. I let her out of my sight this morning, entrusting her to your care, and she goes missing! While rogue wolves are sniffing around our borders!” Changbin snarled as his eyes flashed a dangerous red. “You better handle the attacks before I have to intervene.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

NCT arrived the very next morning, and I chose to stay in bed in an attempt to appease my mates who had been far too unpredictable since their unexpected confrontation from the previous morning. Amelia somehow managed to sneak into my room, talking animatedly about the impressive size of the NCT pack. “There’s so many of them!” she said. “They easily outnumber our pack.”

“I bet Chan isn’t happy about that,” I said, half-heartedly swirling the contents of my glass. The orange juice seemed rather unappealing.

“Of course not,” Amelia said. “But neither is Changbin.”

“Changbin won’t be satisfied until we’re somehow living in recluse from the rest of society.”

“Is that what he’s told you?”

I smirked. “Did Lila come with them?”

“Haechan made her stay behind, but you can’t really blame him. It’s not like they’re coming here for a vacation.”

“Have they been out on patrol yet?”

“Chan’s organized one for tonight. Apparently, he’s letting Changbin lead.”

“That’s hard to believe,” I scoffed. “They haven’t agreed on much lately.”

“Hyunjin thinks it’s just some passing rogues,” Amelia said. “They’ll probably move on in the next day or so.”

“They haven’t initiated any sort of aggressive action,” I agreed. “I hope their scents fade so the pack can settle back down.”

“So your mates can get along again?” Amelia teased. “I haven’t seen them this angry since Chan became head alpha.”

I shivered as I recalled the distant memory. “I thought we were going to lose Changbin.”

“Lose him?” Amelia questioned. “What do you mean?”

It was all too easy to remember:

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Where are you going, angel?” Changbin purred as his hands tightened around my waist, pulling me back against his naked chest to halt my efforts in escaping.

I winced because the truth would likely only set off another angry tirade, a frequent occurrence these days. Changbin had been especially moody lately, ever since Chan and Jisung decided our new head alpha would fall to one of them. Chan had argued that Changbin was too quick-tempered to be a leader while Jisung claimed Changbin acted quite irrationally when it came to protecting those he cared about. “I’m meeting with my parents.”

“Today?” Changbin whined, nose finding its way to my scent gland. “I’ll come with you.”

So much for lying. But my attempt was not in vain because if Changbin heard I was meeting Chan and Jisung later, he’d likely hold me hostage in his bedroom just to spite the other alphas. Or, worse yet, insist he come along to the meeting and that would not be in anyone’s best interest. “Changbin,” I tried instead, hitching one leg over his hip. “Remember what happened the last time you met my parents?”

Changbin grunted as I laved my tongue across his pulse point. “What?”

I grinned, feeling his cock heavy against my thigh. “You asked my father for his permission to take me from his pack.”

“Did I?”

I pressed a delicate kiss to the sensitive underside of his sharp jawline. “I don’t think my father liked the idea of you “taking” me anywhere.”

“It could've been worse.”

“You told my sister she should run away with her rogue boyfriend.”

“You should always follow your heart!”

I stifled a laugh as I gripped his cock hard. “Maybe I should handle my parents alone today.”

“Yeah,” Changbin replied breathily, eyes closed against the ministrations of my fingers smoothing up and down. He leaned in closer to press a sweet kiss against the side of my mouth, a stark contradiction to his next words: “But I want to fuck you first.”

I was more than willing to agree.

I only wished later in hindsight that I had been honest with him from the start.

Jisung was feeling extra affectionate that afternoon, crowding me onto his lap as he nuzzled the back of my neck, inhaling my scent. Meanwhile, Chan was impatiently trying to organize our pack members, several straggling in at the last minute. “This is an important decision,” Chan scolded Jeongin, the younger wolf whimpering as he passively accepted my alpha’s sharp words.

“Don’t be mean to him,” I spoke through our mind-link, ignoring Chan’s low growl in response.

“Where’s Felix?” 

“He said he might be late,” Jisung answered absent-mindedly, nipping at the edge of my ear. He was far calmer than Chan despite the circumstances of our pack’s summoning.

“Minho,” Chan growled. “Are you taking notes?”

“The meeting hasn’t started yet,” Minho grumped, frowning in Chan’s direction.

Chan looked at Minho incredulously, eyes narrowed, ready to undoubtedly reprimand the younger wolf. However, the abrupt sound of knocking at the door to the main room prevented more unnecessarily harsh words. “Finally,” Chan muttered, and I grinned as Jisung mocked his voice in my ear. At least one of my mates was proving why he would make a good leader.

“Changbin.”

I froze on Jisung’s lap, feeling the alpha beneath me tense considerably at the mention of the older wolf. Slowly, I glanced at the doorway, shivering when I saw Changbin and Felix standing shoulder to shoulder. Chan’s previous mask of hardened resolved had melted away, leaving behind an expression of shock that likely resembled Jisung’s. 

 “What’s going on?” Felix asked, confusion evident as he took in the frazzled states of our packmates.

“I guess I wasn’t invited,” Changbin said coldly, squaring up to Chan as he fixed the older with a fierce look. “Was I not gonna be apart of the vote?” 

Felix glanced away sheepishly as if finally realizing his mistake. And Chan could only struggle for the right words as he found himself in a vulnerable position. But the most heartbreaking moment happened a beat later when Changbin met my gaze from across the room. Disappointed.

-------------------------------------------------------------

“But Changbin obviously forgave you,” Amelia said, noticing the long pause in my story. 

“I shouldn’t have lied to him,” I said, sighing as I reclined back against my bed.

“Everything worked out,” Amelia nodded, tilting her head to the side when a deep voice cleared from the other side of my bedroom door. “Who is it?”

Felix stuck his head inside, eyes wide as they moved back and forth between us. “Felix,” I sighed, “what do my mates want now?”

“NCT recognized their scents!”

Amelia sat up, leaning forward in her chair. “But what does that mean?”

Felix shifted anxiously. “Taeyong said the intruders are a group of former NCT pack members who left several months ago. They’re looking for new land.”

“NCT knows them?”

“There are five rogues,” Felix said, “but they’re trying to recruit more.” He cleared his throat, checking over his shoulder as if expecting someone to overhear. “We might have a war on our hands.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 7

Changbin might pretend to be indifferent, but it’s only because he had always been taught to act and behave in a certain way. His father was strict, adamant that Changbin disguise those weak emotions with strength and endurance instead. However, try as one might, there was only so much a person could take until they reached their inevitable breaking point.

And Changbin had found his in our betrayal. An attempt to keep him in the shadows, ignorant of pack politics while Jisung and Chan fought for the right to call themselves head alpha. But when Changbin found out, he could no longer hide his anger and disappointment, storming out of the room and leaving behind a string of curses.

And that’s how I found him later, standing at the edge of the clearing while gazing out into the empty woods. Perhaps that’s how Changbin felt inside: empty and alone because his packmates had so clearly disregarded his feelings. My mates thought they were doing the right thing, but seldom is the right decision an easy one to make.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” I said later on while gripping tightly to his arm. 

Changbin shook his head, looking off into the horizon. The sun was setting, a faint pinkish glow illuminating the sky. “I get it,” he said. “They didn’t want me as head alpha.”

I trembled. “Changbin,” I started, “don’t think so low of yourself.”

“Am I even worthy of being your mate?” he asked, self-deprecating, ignoring my small gasp as he pulled his arm free from my hold.

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Jisung,” I said firmly, glaring down at the squirming male in question. “You’d better tell me what’s going on.”

Jisung cleared his throat, refusing to look at me. “Chan doesn’t want you involved.”

“Yeah?” I questioned, bending down to grab his chin, forcing our eye contact. “If you expect me to help you with your rut next month, then you’ll tell me everything that’s happened with the rogues.”

Jisung’s accompanying expression was one of absolute betrayal. “You would let me suffer?”

I rolled my eyes. “You have a working hand don’t you?”

Jisung scoffed. “I’m not gonna masturbate through my rut like a teenage boy.”

“And what has Changbin been doing all this time?” I smirked. “He never let me help before and he was perfectly fine.”

“Maybe he’s okay with that,” Jisung shot back. “You shouldn’t use that as blackmail! Chan has his reasons for keeping you in the dark.”

“I’m sure he does,” I argued. “He probably thinks he’s protecting me somehow.” I shook my head because Chan was far too stubborn. “It’s really embarrassing when the other females ask me about the situation, but I have no idea what to tell them.”

“The patrols are handling it.”

“Jisung, you just invited another pack into our territory! It doesn’t exactly scream that we have everything under control, does it?”

Jisung pouted. “Please don’t make me tell you. The three of us haven’t been able to get along lately. If I disobeyed an order from Chan, I’d get dragged into the same mess as Changbin!”

“Fine,” I shrugged. “But I hope you like sleeping alone tonight.”

“Myah,” Jisung whined, even as I was already slamming the door to his bedroom shut behind me.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Chan was clearly busy when I approached him later that day. He was conversing sternly with Taeyong, the NCT pack leader. I decided to hold back, waiting for the two of them to finish their business. I knew I would be much less likely to get information from Chan if I interrupted his talk with Taeyong. You see, Chan was acting much more serious lately, a result of him taking full responsibility as the pack’s head alpha. I was proud of him for holding his responsibilities in such high regard, but I was also a little disappointed with the friction it was causing between his best friends. 

Taeyong offered me a delicate bow as he walked by. I waited until he was out of hearing range before confronting Chan. “There you are, Myah,” Chan greeted me, touching his nose to my scent gland before frowning. “You smell like Jisung.”

“I saw him this morning.”

Chan huffed, taking a step back. “The two of you shouldn’t have sex so close to his next rut. It might trigger it early.”

“We weren’t having sex,” I said, annoyed with Chan’s possessiveness. “Am I not allowed to see my mates now without your permission?”

Chan’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Did you come here to fight?”

“Of course not,” I sighed. “But I have a feeling you’re not in the mood to hear me out.”

“It’s my job to listen to you,” Chan said. “What’s on your mind?”

“The rogues.”

Chan shook his head, gazing off somewhere behind me. “You don’t need to worry about the rogues.”

“Channie,” I argued, going right for his weak spot. “Don’t you think I should know? I’m the pack alpha’s mate and I can’t even tell the other members anything!”

“That isn’t your job,” Chan insisted. “They shouldn’t be so nosy. I’ll hold a pack meeting tonight.”

“There’s no need for that,” I countered. “Unless you’re finally gonna tell us what’s really going on with the borders. I bet Taeyong told his pack.”

Chan winced at the remark. “Actually, Taeyong hasn’t said anything. Only Mark understands what’s going on, and that’s because he personally knows the wolves involved.”

“Does he?” I asked, sensing a potential opening. “What did he say?”

But Chan was tight-lipped. “If you see Changbin later, tell him I’ve been looking for him.”

I growled in frustration as Chan walked by, completely ignoring me as he joined Mark and another NCT wolf who had started in our direction. “Asshole,” I told him, making sure to add as much bitterness as one could through a mind-link.

I went in search of Changbin next, inquiring of his whereabouts from a few lingering pack members. My tsundere mate liked to make himself scarce when things were tense around camp. I figured he probably went hunting or something, but there was no way I was following him into the mountains this time. 

Surprisingly, Jeongin told me that Changbin had been in his cabin all day. “I tried to talk to him earlier,” the younger member said. “But he wouldn’t listen to me.”

I suppose I wasn’t the only victim to Changbin’s moodiness.

Still, I was expecting more difficulty when I knocked on his cabin door and asked if I could come inside. Changbin was quick to acquiesce, flinging open the door with enough force to knock it against the wall, sending me jumping into the air in response. “What the hell was that for?” I asked while allowing him to drag me inside his cabin. 

His unexpectedly gentle kiss was my response, lips sliding across mine smoothly. “I feel like shit,” Changbin said, pulling away to rest his feverish head against mine.

“Binnie,” I soothed, omega instincts kicking in as I led him to his bed. “Are you sick?”

“Just caught something,” Changbin grumbled, refusing to let go of me as he dragged us down on top of the mattress. 

“You’re really hot,” I commented, fitting my palm over his forehead. “Are you hurting?”

“It’s not that bad, Angel,” Changbin said, rumbling softly as he drug his nose across my neck. “You smell like Jisung.”

I tried not to roll my eyes. “His rut is close.”

“You’ll smell like me after this,” Changbin declared proudly as if wearing his sickly scent around camp was something to appreciate. 

“You reek,” I informed him. “Your scent is stronger than usual.”

Changbin’s breath was warm against my throat. “You’ll stay with me, right angel?”

“Of course,” I agreed, sliding my fingers through his sweat-drenched hair. “I just hope Chan doesn't come looking for us.”

Changbin tensed at the mention of Chan. “Isn’t he too busy kissing Taeyong’s ass?”

“Binnie,” I scolded the younger, frowning at the way he burrowed closer. 

“We don’t need them,” Changbin growled, scenting me headily. “We can handle the rogues ourselves.”

“I think Chan wanted to talk to you about the rogues,” I said. “He sure as hell never told me anything,” I added, almost as an afterthought.

“Chan was pissed when he found out that Felix said something about their relationship to NCT,” Changbin admitted. “He doesn’t want anyone else knowing.”

“Why not?” I asked, running my fingertips across Changbin’s puffy cheeks. “Shouldn’t the pack have the right to know?”

“Chan’s orders,” Changbin said, teeth gritted. “He’s pack alpha after all.”

“You voted for him, remember?” 

“Only after he tried to keep me out of it,” Changbin replied, wrapping an arm around my waist. 

“He thought he was doing the right thing,” I said in response. “Why don’t you take your shirt off? It might help you cool down.”

“Is this your way of getting me naked?” Changbin grinned. “I’ll do it for you, angel.”

“Stop it,” I scolded him, pulling away only to help wrestle the constricting material from his torso. “Have you seen Woojin yet?”

“I’ll see him if I feel worse tomorrow,” Changbin said, biceps flexing enticingly as he stretched his arms above his head. 

“He might prevent you from feeling worse,” I said, forcing my eyes away from the unexpectedly attractive sight.

“It’s probably nothing,” Changbin assured me, hands smoothing down his broad chest. “Winter is starting to settle in.”

“An excuse to stay in bed longer,” I said, finding myself leaning into his warmth.

Changbin was quiet for a while, and I figured he had fallen asleep. As a matter of fact, I found myself growing drowsy with the combination of his heat and the comfort of the mattress beneath me. I was moments away from closing my eyes when he spoke up again. “I saw the new pups yesterday,” he said.

It was enough to surprise me into alertness. “Mina’s pups?”

He nodded. “I went with Jisung.”

I grinned. “You should have brought me along. I’ve been looking for a better excuse to see them.”

One of our older pack members had recently given birth to three little pups. They were absolutely adorable with their small eyes and cute little button noses. Amelia and I had spent more time there than the kitchens. It was starting to become a problem, especially when Mina’s mate was less than willing to share their cabin with other wolves. But how could anyone resist the heart-wrenching sounds of their precious giggles?

“Do you like pups?” Changbin asked.

“Of course I love pups!” I exclaimed, turning on my side to rest my chin on top of his chest. “Mina’s are so tiny! How can anything be that small?”

Changbin’s eyes met mine and I was taken aback by the raw emotion I saw reflecting back at me. “Maybe you should stop taking your pills.”

I paused, studying him closely. His implication was clear. “Are you serious?”

Changbin nodded. “Maybe on your next heat we can all try.”

His sincerity was unexpected as Changbin was the last mate I thought would inquire about having pups. I knew Jisung adored pups and he was always one of the first to see any new additions to our pack. I usually trailed along after him, adoring the look of glee in his eyes when he held a tiny pup in his strong arms. And as for Chan? Well, my oldest mate liked pups well enough and had considered in passing the idea of having pups of his own one day.

But Changbin?

“Have you talked to the others?” I asked.

“No,” Changbin grunted. “But we haven’t exactly been friendly recently.”

I nodded. “After this mess with the rogues is sorted out, maybe we can all sit down together and talk about it. I don’t want to try when the three of you are fighting.”

Changbin grinned as he practically drug me on top of him. “Okay,” he said, pecking my nose sweetly. “But I get the first knot.”

I groaned at his words, feeling the tight bulge of his cock underneath the thin layer of his worn sweatpants.

-------------------------------------------------------------

The following day, I decided to go hunting with Jisung and Changbin. The elder was feeling better after spending the day isolated away from the pack, and Changbin told me he desperately needed to shift again. Meanwhile, Jisung was feeling just as adventurous, hearing of our plans and demanding to come along. Changbin protested at first, but eventually gave in when I sternly reminded him how important it was for us to all get along. Changbin must have remembered my words from yesterday, immediately complying with Jisung’s wishes.

The three of our wolves padded together along the used trails in the woods, keeping close to camp. It was still potentially dangerous to go out past the edges of the territory when rogues were threatening our pack. However, I knew Changbin would be the last person to refuse his wolf’s obvious attachment to the woods, and Changbin was never intimidated by threats.

And I also longed to stretch my legs and have a nice run through the woods.

Nevertheless, my senses were on high alert as I walked between my two mates. My wolf was minuscule in comparison to Jisung and Changbin, but it was reassuring to know my mates were so much stronger. They would always protect me if danger happened to arise.

Changbin let out a bark as he picked up on a stray scent, nose high in the air as he caught the trail. “This way,” he directed, leading the three of us into a nearby thicket of bushes.

I kept my body close to the ground, hindquarters raised, as I waited for Changbin’s next command. “Why is your ass sticking up,” Jisung teased, nipping at my ear playfully.

“This is the hunter’s stance,” I quipped, ears pricked forward as a faint rustle echoed throughout the surrounding foliage.

“Leave the hunting to the professionals, princess,” Jisung said, stopping to shoulder himself next to Changbin. “What is it?”

“Deer,” Changbin said, tasting the air carefully. “A small doe, maybe.”

Jisung dugs his claws into the forest floor as if anticipating the impending hunt. “Should we take it, Changbin?”

“I could wrestle it down without you,” Changbin grumbled.

Jisung’s wolf huffed as if offended. “I’d overpower it easily!”

“Go ahead,” Changbin challenged, suddenly sitting back on his haunches. “If you’re so skilled at hunting bigger prey.”

Jisung hesitated, but he was far too proud to let Changbin bruise his ego. I watched Jisung crouch down, stealthily moving through the underbrush as he slowly approached the doe who was barely visible through the branches of the trees crowding the area surrounding us. I withheld my laughter as I sat down next to Changbin, allowing him to nuzzle into the side of my neck affectionately. “He’s not low enough,” he told me. “The deer will hear him before he’s ready.”

I watched with interest, silently rooting for Jisung to prove Changbin wrong as he edged closer. Unfortunately, Changbin was rarely wrong in such instances, and I winced when Jisung’s front paw broke a stick beneath his path. Immediately, the deer’s head shot up into the air, eyes blown wide as it studied the nearby vicinity. Jisung panicked, launching himself into a premature attack, barely glancing the deer with his claws before the now spooked creature took off. Jisung was quick to recover his footing, but still not fast enough to track down an animal relying on adrenaline racing through familiar territory.

“Shit!” Jisung cursed as he finally slowed down, watching the deer race away through the woods.

“Nice job,” Changbin snarked, ignoring Jisung as he turned around to look for a new trail.

Jisung held his head down as he passed me. 

“There’s another scent up ahead,” Changbin said, suddenly shifting back to his human form. 

I shifted behind him, confused as to why he had suddenly switched. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he said, beckoning me forward.

I stood next to him, gazing down into the ravine. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’ve seen better,” Changbin grinned, and I rolled my eyes at his cheesy flirtation.

“I almost had that deer!” Jisung abruptly growled, shoving his way between us, arms crossed over his chest.

“Your stance is lacking,” Changbin said, chuckling when Jisung shoved him harshly. “You need more hunting experience.”

“I have more important things to do,” Jisung defended himself, looking in my direction with pitiful eyes. “I’ve been busy with pack stuff.”

“Poor baby,” I cooed. “Maybe you just needed a practice run. You can always try again.”

“I picked up a faint scent on the trail we came up,” Changbin said, nodding to his right. “It might be a smaller doe.”

Jisung followed Changbin and I lingered behind, taking a few more moments to admire the simplistic beauty of our mountain home. “I smell it!” Jisung declared, shifting back to his dusky brown wolf as his nose sniffed across the dirt floor.

“See if you can track it,” Changbin suggested and Jisung needed no further encouragement, determined to make up for his previous blunder. 

I could hear him take off down the trail, feet thundering against the forest floor, purpose driving his steps. In the meantime, I could feel Changbin’s familiar presence as he approached from behind, nose touching the back of my neck while his strong arms wrapped around my middle.

“I really want to fuck you,” Changbin smirked, tucking my hair behind my ear. I studied the trail where Jisung had disappeared into the ravine.

“Is this really an appropriate time?” I asked as he turned me around.

“He’s gone,” Changbin grinned. “And what else are we gonna do?”

“Hunt.”

“I can catch us enough prey,” Changbin bragged, leaning in closer, thumbing at the neckline of my shirt. “Your tits look good in this.”

“What a compliment.”

“Myah,” Changbin pouted, slowly forcing me back. I allowed him to do so until my back met the rough bark of a nearby tree. “We haven’t had sex in a while.”

“If you were more patient,” I started, brushing my fingers against his gorgeous lips. “We could have sex tonight when we get back to camp.”

“Are you worried about Jisung?” Changbin asked, raising one brow in question.

“You aren’t?” I countered because the idea of Jisung stumbling upon Changbin fucking me against a tree was not exactly sexy.

“He’s not gonna know,” Changbin purred in my ear, reaching for the hem of my skirt. “I sent him after a stale scent. He’ll be searching for a while.”

“Was this your plan all along?” I indulged, allowing him to run his fingers up my bare thigh.

“No,” Changbin shrugged, fingers digging into my flesh. “But you smell really good today.”

“Do I normally smell bad?” I joked, wrapping my hands around his impressive biceps.

He flexed them on purpose. “I love your scent.”

I rolled my eyes playfully. “Changbin, don’t you think this is reckless?”

“I won’t let anything bad happen to you, angel,” he promised, looking for the right words to try and convince me to give in to his demands.

I was close to arguing again before he suddenly lifted me up, forcing my legs to wrap around his waist as he brought our bodies close together. He was unbelievably hard, cock straining against the material of his shorts. “Have you wanted this for a while?” I asked breathily because he was scenting me with purpose, determined to wipe all logical thoughts from my mind.

I barely noticed when his hands managed to push my skirt up my legs, thumbs rubbing circles into my hip bones.

“I think my wolf was jealous of Jisung,” Changbin admitted, mouthing at the exposed expanse of my chest. “He wants our scent on you.”

“And what better way,” I grinned, curling my fingers through his thick hair.

“You know I like it, angel,” he continued, hips pushing forward into mine. 

“We need to be fast,” I gasped, feeling the burning friction of his fingers as he moved my panties out of the way.

“Take me out,” he growled, eyes trained down as I worked his shorts and underwear down his legs, leaving his cock erect as he worked to support his hands under my thighs.

“Put it in,” I found myself begging, feeling his cock, warm and thick, as he moved us into the perfect position, tip threatening entrance.

And Changbin never needed me to beg for his cock, all too willing to give me whatever I wanted when it meant nothing but pleasure. Which is why I found myself moaning the moment he pushed his way inside, filling me with him slowly, a leisurely pace as if testing my patience. But I eventually learned patience throughout the years of satisfying my mates, so I simply waited until he was all the way inside, pressing against my clit with a wonderful pressure.

And with my skirt bundled up at my waist, legs wrapped around Changbin’s waist, feeling his powerful hands support my thighs with a bruising grip, I gave in to his wishes. It was all too easy to fall victim to his dark energy, and I choked on a sob as his cock moved in and out. He started a powerful rhythm that made it difficult to do anything more than toss my head back against the trunk of the tree, accepting whatever he decided to give me, which was always everything he had coiled tightly in the thick muscles that filled out his body.

“It’s good,” I made sure to tell him, praising him because I knew it would only get better the more I fed his ego, his desire to show off his strength for his mate.

But Changbin still had more demands.

“Show them to me,” Changbin begged, eyes glued to my chest. 

I tried to ignore him, scenting across his throat, teeth scraping along his skin. His dark, spicy smell was driving my omega crazy, and my wolf howled at me to bite him again. It was difficult to resist, so I gave in, gently digging my teeth against the taut flesh of his shoulder blade. “Angel,” Changbin grunted, cock stuttering inside. “Are you listening to me?”

I whined when he slowed down, dragging out with a pace that was not nearly as satisfying. “Don’t stop,” I begged him, trying to force him back inside, pushing down against his grip on my legs. 

He shifted me down, one of my feet touching the ground as his other hand continued to support most of my weight. I focused on taking in more oxygen as he tugged down my top, forcing my breasts to spill out. “That’s fucking hot,” he cursed, lifting me back up before forcing me down onto his thick cock.  

“Come inside,” I begged him, rapidly approaching my release, feeling it build deep inside.

“Are you worried Jisung might see?” Changbin teased, sweat glistening beautifully across his dark skin. 

“I-I’m not,” I managed, eyes closed tightly together as my hands ran across the broad expanse of his chest, feeling his muscles beneath the fabric of his shirt, straining with his efforts.

“He’d come in his pants like a little bitch,” Changbin snarled, mouth moving harshly across my breasts, tongue frequently taking the liberty to tease my sensitive nipples. 

I could feel his knot growing, threatening to lock us together. It was enough to finally break me out of my pheromone-induced haze. “Changbin,” I said, “you can’t knot me out here.”

Changbin groaned, nipping at his mating mark on my neck. “Can I come inside your mouth?”

“Absolutely,” I agreed breathily, unable to stop from moaning when my orgasm suddenly hit courtesy of a well-timed thrust from Changbin, knot catching slightly on my entrance.

He growled, pulling out completely before helping me settle onto my knees in front of him. “Fuck, I like you this way, angel,” he whispered, hands wrapping into my hair.

I didn’t answer, opening my mouth to allow him access. His cock sat heavy on my tongue and I hollowed my cheeks, lips stretching to accommodate him, pausing at the swell of his arousal. It didn’t take long for Changbin to finally cum, releasing down my throat, bitter but satisfying. He finally pulled out slowly, flaccid length falling from my reddened lips. 

We were both trying to catch our breath as we adjusted our clothes, trying to hide the evidence of our coupling. Unfortunately, when Changbin leaned in closer to kiss me, I could easily smell our sex permeating his scent. Jisung might not have Changbin’s superior sense of smell, but even a human could catch on to what we had been doing.

“We might be in trouble,” Changbin said, grinning against my wet skin.

After a while, I could hear the faint sound of Jisung’s paws against the underbrush. “He’s gonna smell us.”

“He’ll get you all to himself in a few weeks,” Changbin said, pressing one more lingering kiss to his mating mark.

I laughed when Jisung came into view, shifting into his human form. “He’s gonna be pissed.”

“I don’t care,” Changbin declared, holding me tightly against him, as if afraid to let go.

I merely laughed when Jisung immediately scrunched his nose as he came closer, the heavy smell of our sex assaulting the air surrounding us.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 8

Fear.

I felt it strongly, almost overbearing, as I followed the strong scent of blood. I whined when I finally saw him, barely cognizant, fur matted into thick knots as Felix and Minho carefully pulled him through camp. Jisung and Changbin were close, agitation evident in the harsh way their tails flicked back and forth. I snarled loudly, drawing the attention of the other wolves as I tried to fight my way through the gathered crowd of my packmates. 

Jisung wordlessly interceded, blocking me from the sight of my mangled alpha mate. “He needs me,” I pleaded with him, but my strength was no match for Jisung’s. 

“They’re coming,” Jisung warned, and it was only then I finally realized that I had been detecting his fear all along. But he wasn’t afraid for Chan despite his worsening condition.

He was afraid for me.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Before

“Do you feel better?” I whispered to my exhausted mate.

He hooked his leg around my hip, accommodating the knot keeping up locked together. “The fever broke,” he offered in response, voice husky as he touched his nose to my scent gland. 

“I don’t think I could handle it again,” I groaned. “I need a bath.”

“Are you hurting?” he asked, instinctively releasing a familiar calming pheromone. My eyelids were heavy.

“I’m fine,” I assured him. “It wasn’t too much.”

Jisung groaned from behind me. “I’ve been worried about the rogues,” he admitted. “I was probably rough.”

“You weren’t as rough as Changbin,” I whispered, wincing as I recalled Changbin’s most recent rut cycle.

Jisung chuckled. “Changbin told me something interesting the other day.”

“Really?”

Jisung let out a low rumble as his hand trailed along my side, fingers smoothing across my stomach. “He said you were thinking about pups.”

“Did he?” I asked groggily, shivering when he tugged at his knot, detecting resistance from the engorged base.

“Do you want to have pups?” 

“I’d like to,” I said. “I really want one.”

“Just one?” he whispered, kissing my shoulder.

“I haven’t exactly thought this through.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Jisung said. “But between the three of us, I hope you have more than one.”

“Is that some sort of innuendo?”

“We’d have to plan for one of your heats,” Jisung continued thoughtfully. “Are we gonna take turns? Take you one night each?”

“Binnie wants the first knot.”

“Of course he does,” Jisung growled possessively. “But that doesn’t guarantee that he’ll have better chances.”

“Aren’t you being a little crude?” I asked him, reaching down for the hand still wavering around my stomach. “Does it really matter?”

“We’d never know,” Jisung acquiesced. “Have you talked to Chan about it?”

“No,” I muttered. “It’s hard to talk to him about anything other than the rogues.”

“He’s worried,” Jisung said. “But I think it’s making the whole pack nervous.”

“I haven’t spent time alone with Chan in a long time,” I said. “I’m not even sure he sleeps anymore.”

“Well, you shouldn’t worry,” Jisung assured me. “The three of us will take care of everything. As soon as the rogues are gone, we’ll be back to normal.”

“You and Changbin aren’t acting different,” I said, recalling my last disagreement with Chan, watching my alpha ignore me in favor of another pack’s beta.

“Changbin didn’t get his way with the rogues,” Jisung offered as an explanation. “And I’ve always been the most rational.”

I snickered at his comment, whining when he finally tugged his knot free. I immediately turned on my side, searching for his warmth. “Should I confront Chan?”

“He’d never ignore you on purpose,” Jisung said. “He just needs some time to figure out what to do.”

“He’s had more than enough time for that,” I said, slowly losing my battle with the impending promise of sleep.

-------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, I allowed Amelia to talk me into an impromptu babysitting job for Mina’s pups while the she-wolf in question and her mate spent some time alone together. Jisung’s rut had broken at some point during the night and Chan had immediately ordered him back to work, sending him on a patrol in the lower valley. I, for one, was grateful for something to occupy my time, which explains why I was currently laid on the carpet of Mina’s cabin, allowing her rapidly growing pups to crawl over my still weakened body. “Leo,” Amelia chastised the younger boy who had abruptly shifted to his wolf form, teeth caught on my t-shirt. “You can’t chew on that.”

“I give up,” I declared, watching the younger pup with vague interest. “They can do whatever they want.”

“There’s only three of them,” Amelia sighed, wrestling one of the male pups away from his protesting sister.

“I feel sorry for Mina,” I said, startling slightly when I detected laughter from the doorway. 

I glared at Felix. “What?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” he said, graciously saving my t-shirt from Leo’s sharp teeth.

“Have you ever done this before?” a new voice inquired, and I gazed up at Seungmin helplessly. 

“Does it look like we know what we’re doing?”

“They were cuter when they couldn’t walk,” Amelia added, holding Mina’s little girl close to her chest as she cried openly about her brother’s prior attack.

Felix sat down across from Leo, laughing as the younger pup immediately began chasing his tail. “They’re completely harmless.”

“Harmless?” Amelia frowned. “They’re little devils!”

“Devils?” Seungmin snorted, eagerly picking up the other male pup. Immediately, the pup nuzzled in closer to Seungmin, sniffing along his neck. “You have to discipline them.”

“They don’t listen,” Amelia insisted, groaning when the pup in her arms started whining for attention.

Leo had paused in the adventure he made of chasing his tail, sniffing the air with interest. “What is it?” Felix asked, cutesy voice almost overbearing to hear.

“Don’t talk like that,” I grumbled, rolling over onto my stomach.

“She’s not nice, right Leo?” Felix continued, ignorant to my suffering. “Are you being a good boy?”

The pup chirped happily as it fixed its attention on Felix. “You babysit then,” Amelia insisted, situating the pup in her arms onto my lower back. I groaned loudly at the additional weight pressing down.

“We never said we would,” Seungmin pointed out, allowing the wriggling pup in his arms free. Leo watched the movement and decided he was going to attack his younger brother, jumping onto the other unsuspecting pup rather ungracefully.

“Let’s take them outside,” Felix suggested, perhaps taking pity on Amelia and I. “They can run off their energy.”

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Felix carefully lifted Leo, patiently withstanding the pup’s insistent wriggling. “Felix,” Amelia cried dramatically. “You’re my hero!”

Seungmin rolled his eyes but reluctantly lifted the other male pup, following Felix’s lead. Meanwhile, Amelia had relieved me of the burdening weight of Mina’s youngest girl, hugging tightly to the small pup as she joined the boys outside. I let out a groan as I gathered myself onto my feet, brushing off my jeans before stepping out the door. “Why are you so slow?” Seungmin questioned me when I finally managed to stand next to him and Felix. 

“She had to take Jisung’s knot all week,” Amelia responded, overhearing our conversation as she plopped the smallest pup down in the middle of her brothers. 

Seungmin wrinkled his nose. “I thought you smelled differently.”

“She smells like Jisung,” Amelia said, sighing happily as she watched the three pups play. “And he was clingy this morning.”

“He’s always like that,” I rolled my eyes, quietly surveying the remainder of our packmates attending to their various responsibilities. “Aren’t you two supposed to be on patrol?”

“Chan sent NCT members on the morning patrol,” Felix said. “I think I’m going out tonight.”

“I got the day off,” Seungmin bragged, wincing when one of the pups rolled into his leg. 

Amelia grinned. “You’ll need it after this.”

“What?” Seungmin brushed it off, glaring down at the pup who had rejoined his siblings. “I can handle pups.”

“Mina has kept them inside,” Felix remarked. “I don’t blame her, but they’ve probably grown restless.”

“I haven’t noticed,” Amelia snarked, brightening immediately when she spotted Hyunjin walking our way. “Jinnie!”

Hyunjin cautiously approached, dutifully avoiding the energetic pups racing between his long legs. “What are you four doing?”

Amelia whined as she wrapped her arms around Hyunjin. “Jinnie,” Amelia said. “I don’t want pups anymore.”

Hyunjin chuckled, glancing over at the hyperactive trio. “What made you change your mind?”

“They’re little demons,” she growled, leaning in to scent her mate. 

“You liked them when they were younger,” he said, kneeling down to wrangle Leo into his arms. “You were begging Woojin to take you off the pill.”

Amelia blushed. “They were cuter then.”

“And they aren’t anymore?” Hyunjin asked, lifting Leo into the air, the pup giggling at Hyunjin’s playful display of strength. 

“I’ve had the same change of heart,” I nodded, shivering as I imagined being responsible for three pups with no reprieve. 

“Good luck with that,” Seungmin snickered. “Changbin’s been talking about having pups. You might break his heart if you tell him no.”

“Well,” I grumbled. “He doesn’t understand what he’s getting us into.”

“Little miracles,” Felix cooed, lowering himself to his knees as he invited the other two 

pups into an impromptu wrestling match, rolling around on the ground as the pups shrieked with delight at having such a willing punching bag.

“You should be careful,” a new voice interrupted and I cautiously bowed my head respectfully as Chan joined our group. He offered me nothing more than a cursory glance as he glanced between Felix and Hyunjin. “Why aren’t you resting for tonight?”

“Oh, come on Channie,” Felix giggled, touching his nose delicately to each pup. “We’re just having fun.”

“They should be inside,” Chan continued sternly, ignoring Felix’s frown. “It’s irresponsible to take them outside.” 

“I’m sorry Chan,” Amelia immediately tried to rectify. “We were watching them.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Chan insisted sharply and I bristled at the tone he directed at my best friend. “It’s dangerous with the rogues around.”

“Chan,” I snarled his name. “That’s enough.”

The others immediately fell silent as Chan turned his attention to me, eyes narrowed in disbelief. “Take them back inside,” he directed as if intentionally disregarding me.

Hyunjin held onto Leo tighter as he and Amelia retreated into Mina’s cabin. Felix and Seungmin grabbed the other two pups, hesitantly glancing between Chan and me. I ignored their obvious concern, nodding towards the cabin to redirect the pair. However, before I could follow them, I felt Chan reach out to grab my wrist, holding me in place. “Let’s talk,” he ordered briskly, and I reluctantly allowed him to guide me away from the others. 

I supposed I was done babysitting for the day.

Chan brought us to the edge of the woods, releasing my wrist as he slowly backed away. “Well?” I prodded, even knowing that such a short retort would likely ignite his temper.

But Chan calmly held his ground. “You know better than to question my authority as alpha.”

“You weren’t being an alpha,” I said. “You were being a bully. Amelia didn’t deserve that treatment.”

“I’m trying to keep this pack safe,” Chan defended himself. “There’s a reason why I’ve been so busy lately.”

“As I could possibly forget,” I returned. “All you worry about are the rogues.”

Chan scoffed. “Are you suggesting I should forget about them?”

“I’m suggesting that you shouldn’t forget your duty as alpha means more than protecting our borders,” I said. “You also have a responsibility for the well-being of our pack, but you’ve decided to neglect them. I haven’t seen you once visit the wolves in the infirmary and you used to visit our sick every day! And you force our pack members on patrols three times a day which leaves everyone feeling tired and drained. You’ve caused a rift between you, Jisung, and Changbin, and you don’t even bother to do anything about it.” I took a deep breath, collecting my thoughts. “And I’m pretty sure that’s the first time you’ve ever visited Mina’s pups! Don’t you think it reflects badly on our pack when its alpha doesn’t care about our future? Plus, you’ve been ignoring your own mate. I only see you in passing and most of the time we argue like we’re doing right now!”

Chan was silent after I finished my unexpected tirade. The alpha’s expression was difficult to read, but his posture was resolutely tense. Finally, Chan addressed my grievances: “Everything I’m doing is for our pack, and I’m hurt that you would think otherwise.”

“Channie-”

“Myah,” Chan continued sternly. “I don’t have time to talk about this right now, but I expect to see you in my cabin tonight because there’s a lot we need to discuss.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

After

Woojin was a great healer, but I was beginning to lose my confidence in his abilities the longer I paced outside the infirmary, worried for my mate who suffered inside. “Myah,” Jisung tried, watching my movements. “You know Chan wouldn’t be happy if he knew you were this upset over him.”

“He’s hurt,” I whined pathetically because what Jisung didn’t understand was the amount of guilt I possessed over my earlier confrontation with the alpha in question. What if that was the last thing I was ever able to say to Chan? How could I live with myself knowing I decided to berate him for being a terrible alpha right before he was set to go out on a dangerous patrol?

“You need to relax, angel,” Changbin said, patting the empty space on the bench between himself and Jisung. 

I didn’t deserve it, but I also couldn’t stand the idea of disappointing another mate. Changbin and Jisung were too good to me, releasing sweet alpha pheromones that worked at the tension in my body despite my overwhelming guilt. I hadn’t even realized my tears until Jisung’s thumb gently smoothed beneath my eyes. “Why are you so upset, princess?” he asked and that only made me want to cry even more.

However, instead of answering, I buried myself into Jisung’s neck, scenting him heavily as I tried to forget about everything that was happening. “This isn’t like you,” Changbin said, hand resting comfortably on top of my thigh. “Chan will be okay.”

“What if he’s not?” I cried, sniffling against Jisung’s shoulder. I felt bad that I was ruining his shirt.

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Changbin questioned. “Angel, Woojin said that the wound wasn’t that deep. He’s probably just being extra careful so Chan can heal faster.”

“He deserves better than me,” I said, the remark slipping free like the steady flow of tears swelling the round arches of my cheeks. 

“Princess,” Jisung inserted, grabbing my chin to force my attention. “Why do you think that? What happened?”

I stared into Jisung’s kind brown eyes, wanting desperately to purge all my nasty insecurities. Thankfully, the welcome appearance of Woojin paused that unpleasant conversation. “Chan is fine,” Woojin said, wiping the sweat from his brow. “You can see him if you want. He’s a little groggy from the pain medicine.”

“He’s okay?” I asked, shoulders deflating as a resounding sensation of relief banished all the tension from my heart. 

I didn’t even register what I was doing until I was crushing Woojin against my body, thanking him over and over again as the bigger alpha let out a nervous chuckle, gently prying me away. “It’s my job?”

“Come on, angel,” Changbin chuckled, ushering me into Chan’s room.  

I swallowed hard as I wavered in the doorway, my other two mates joining Chan on either side of his bed. “How are you feeling, Chan?” Jisung asked, clicking his tongue as he surveyed Chan’s disheveled appearance. 

“You look like shit,” Changbin said, grimacing as he took in the unexpected appearance of Chan’s messy curls. 

“M’ tired,” Chan replied, eyes rolling over Jisung before attempting a similar appraisal of Changbin. “Where am I?”

“You’re in the infirmary,” Jisung said. “Your patrol was attacked at the border.”

“That doesn’t seem right,” Chan replied. “When did this happen?”

Changbin snorted. “What kind of medicine did Woojin give you?”

Chan ignored Changbin, sniffing the air with interest. “Myah?”

I was startled at the mention of my name, reluctantly dragging my feet to the end of Chan’s bed to gaze down at the alpha nervously. However, surprisingly, Chan didn’t immediately demand an apology for our earlier argument, instead, he let out an uncharacteristic whine as he held out his hands. “Come closer.”

I edged past Changbin, joining Chan at the side of his bed. “Are you okay, Channie?”

The alpha disregarded my question, grabbing onto my arm as he attempted to weakly pull me towards him. “Not close enough.”

I was practically bent over the rails of the bed, allowing Chan to sniff eagerly at my scent gland. I let out a growl as Changbin smacked my ass, glaring at the other alpha who was obviously quite pleased with himself. Jisung chuckled at our exchange. “Are you done asserting your alpha dominance?”

Changbin frowned. “As if you’re any better.”

The two were quietly bickering as Chan’s lips brushed across my ear. “I’m sorry,” he whispered whilst sounding perfectly sensible, and I knew exactly what he was apologizing for. 

“Me too,” I replied, leaving a sweet kiss at the edge of his lips.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 9

I was dreaming, but it felt more like a memory. 

Because I was home again. Not the home I shared with my mates and our pack, but the home I associated with my parents and the sweet smell of honeysuckle flowers in the backyard. The kind of home that always made me think exclusively of my most innocent occasions with Chan, misbehaving as we daringly climbed the highest trees and swam in the river despite its overpowering current. A home I knew before I would mate three alpha wolves who would have a profound effect on the person I would become.

But the memory was wrong. For example, Jisung and Changbin were there too and my mates were never around my home when we were younger. We were also older and that was wrong too because I never returned home after I left for the first and last time. However, the differences were strange and I felt like there was something important I was forgetting. Ignoring the feeling of tension while the four of us acted like pups again as we mischievously chose to play in our wolf forms. We nipped at each other’s legs, running through the fields despite the eerie sight of a thick fog curling through the woods. 

I stopped in the middle of our game. The fog was wrapping itself around my legs, climbing the full expanse of my height. I shifted back because my wolf was somehow distant from me, warning me to do something that I didn’t understand. I felt trapped, unable to move or even call out to my mates who had returned to see why I was no longer participating in the game. But their voices sounded distant, muddled and obscured by something invisible. I was afraid because everything was rapidly changing and there was nothing to stop the inevitable.

And then I was alone because the fog and my mates were gone. But somehow this was worse and I fell to my knees because I didn’t know what else to do. What if they abandoned me? What if I was forced to live alone for the rest of my life? I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. I wanted to do something but I felt a tight pull demanding my attention.

A little pup was watching me. His blue eyes, which reminded me so much of Chan, were distant. I reached out for the little pup, beckoning it closer. We were both in danger, I could feel it in the bone-chilling breeze that ruffled my hair. But the little pup did not move from its spot and I could do nothing from mine. “You can do it,” I encouraged the pup, but my whispery tone was lost in the cataclysmic space separating us.

I saw red eyes next, glowing bright and sinister. An obvious evil that wanted to hurt me and the little pup I was failing to protect. The wolf they belonged to was targeting the little pup who refused to move from its spot. I whimpered pathetically, desperately trying to reach the stubborn pup who seemed insistent on staying where it was. “You can’t save it,” the wolf snarled at me. “You can’t save any of them.”

Suddenly, there were dozens of wolves surrounding us, moving in closer with predatory steps, haunches raised as they prepared to attack. “Please,” I begged the pup, but it was now watching the wolf who had spoken before.

“They tried to protect it,” the wolf growled, stepping aside as three of my aggressors proceeded forward. At first, it was difficult to discern their shapes because of the thick shadows, but as they came closer, the light revealed the sickening truth. I had never seen Jisung so lifeless before, eyes closed and throat scarlet red as the wolf dropped his limp body next to the little pup who only seemed puzzled by the sight. 

“Daddy?” the little pup questioned, nuzzling its tiny nose against Jisung.

Changbin was left next to Jisung and he appeared to be in far worse condition, dark hair matted with mud and clothes soiled with blood. I had never seen my mate look so weak before. “Why won’t he wake up?” the little pup asked me, pressing a tiny paw against Changbin’s shoulder. But my mate did not respond.

And I was beyond reason because I knew they were both gone.

Yet, at the same time, nothing could possibly compare to the utter anguish I experienced when Chan finally came into view. My oldest friend, my first love, who never gave up and defied all odds and expectations, was being pulled across the ground by the collar of his tattered shirt. 

I had never seen my mate look so defeated before. “Channie,” my voice cracked, and I was lost to my grief because I was nothing without the three of them.

“Is he tired?” the little pup asked, burying itself against Chan’s side despite the horrifying amount of blood seeping through the fabric. “He smells different.”

“Binnie?” I desperately tried. “Sungie?”

“Mommy,” the pup finally summoned me, eyes reflecting wisdom that defied its years. “Aren’t they coming back?”

I couldn’t breathe, holding back something between a sob and a shout. But the torrential river of tears had already escaped without my consent, staining my cheeks and the well-worn neckline of my favorite sweater. “What have you done?”

I directed the question at the menacing wolf who clearly held responsibility for all the pain and grief I was expressing. The wolf snarled, teeth coated with their blood. “There’s nothing you can do to stop it! They’re coming for you, Myah.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

I jerked awake, eyes wide open as heavy breaths filled my screaming lungs. I stifled a cry, slapping my hand over my mouth as the familiar sight of my bedroom came into focus. A single tear spilled free when I realized that Changbin was lying next to me. I immediately placed a hand over his chest, relieved when I could feel the way it rose and fell with the life coursing through his veins. My mate was still asleep and he looked incredibly peaceful, skin glowing with color and an obvious absence of red from any trace of his body. “Binnie,” I delicately whispered, ready to burrow myself against his warmth and demand his attention. But Changbin deserved to sleep, despite the countless times he had assured me that he would never be upset if I woke him after a nightmare. Instead, I decided to take a walk, even if I knew it was dangerous without one of my mates to escort me along the perimeter of our territory. 

I needed fresh air.

Thus, despite the sweat caking my hair to the back of my neck, chilling me when I stepped into the cold night, I made my decision. I shivered, tightening my grip on the lapels of my sweater. I started in the direction of the woods, where the rogues had never been sighted, deciding that I could walk to the edge and back before Changbin had a chance to realize I was gone. It was a good plan because I was still suffering from the pain of my recent nightmare, body convulsing slightly as I wiped away the salty drops from my cheeks.

I hummed to myself, emptying my mind of everything, but especially the nightmare, as I noisily crunched the permafrost decorating the grass beneath my feet. It was really nice, breathing in the fresh air as I worked my muscles loose. When I first came to the pack, I always took walks by myself before going to sleep. They were a surefire guarantee to relieve my body’s tension. Perhaps I should reconsider incorporating them back into my routine.

When the woods finally came into focus, I felt a tremor of fear as images from my nightmare flooded my mind without my conscious dictation. But everything felt so incredibly real and I could only stand the sight of the trees for a few seconds before I was already turning back around. I missed Changbin’s warmth and his scent would be just as reassuring as the fresh air had been.

A low growl sounded from behind me.

I froze to the spot, whipping around so fast that my hair flew into my line of vision. I could make out their forms in the trees, glowing eyes seeking out my vulnerable person. Instinctively, I shifted into my wolf form, snarling at the shadows threatening the peace of our camp. 

But I was greatly outnumbered. 

There were at least a dozen wolves shaking themselves of the precipitation from the vegetation they had escaped from. They surrounded me completely, leaving no room for a possible escape. I was terrified, but I put on a brave front, hoping to intimidate them into abandoning what they probably suspected to be easy prey.

The biggest wolf, who I assumed to be the alpha, approached me first. He tasted the air, eyes widening in interest as his claws dug into the dirt. “Don’t you know there are rogues at your borders?”

“This isn’t your territory,” I reminded him, snapping my teeth at a different wolf who dared a step in our direction.

“For now,” the alpha wolf insisted smugly, appraising me like I was something he wanted. “What’s a she-wolf doing out here on her own?”

“An omega too,” the wolf I previously snapped at deduced, sniffing the air aggressively. 

“She would be perfect for me, Jaemin,” the alpha grumbled, making me feel small in comparison to his proud stature.

“Jeno needs a mate,” Jaemin continued, eyes locked on my quivering wolf as he started circling me. “Know anyone for the job?”

Jeno snickered, coming in closer. My wolf instinctually lowered herself to the ground, whimpering when the bigger alpha loomed over top. So much for my bravery. “Maybe I’ll just take you.”

“I’m already mated,” I tried but Jeno just laughed.

“I’ll ruin their claim on you,” Jeno growled, forcing his nose against my scent gland. “You won’t be able to fight it, isn’t that right, Renjun?”

The summoned wolf emerged from the group, defending his alpha. “You’re just an omega.”

“A she-wolf,” Jaemin added. “You don’t stand a chance against us.”

“I could just take you now,” Jeno continued, rutting against me and my wolf howled in protest. “It would be better if you submit.”

“Maybe we can kill your alphas,” Jaemin suggested. “Then you’ll have nowhere to go.”

“Please don’t hurt them,” I begged the rogue wolves who were likely beyond reason.

“We’ll do whatever we want,” Jaemin sneered. “This is our territory now.”

There was a chorus of agreement from the other gathered wolves.

“And they had the audacity to call our former packmates?” Renjun shook his head, his wolf pawing at the ground. “None of you stand a chance.”

The threatening wolves seemed so self-assured, releasing intimidating snarls and growls as they maintained their lines. Jeno leaned down, sniffing at my lower half. “This one is almost in heat.”

“Take her now,” Jaemin insisted, wolf releasing a whine as he paced back and forth. He was anxious to see his alpha exert his dominance.

“Make the claim,” Renjun encouraged him and I had never been more afraid.

But I still had the wherewithal to consider my circumstances, ignoring the way Jeno started to sniff his way across my fur. I didn’t want to give myself to the horrible alpha wolf, but there was nothing I could do to stop his ego. My only option was to agree to his advances, especially if I could also help my pack.

“If you leave my pack alone,” I interrupted the two wolves. “I’ll come with you without a fight.”

Jaemin paused and Jeno seemed to consider the offer. “Where would we go? This territory belongs to us.”

“There are weaker packs in the surrounding valley,” I insisted, feeling ashamed to dismiss another pack so easily. “They wouldn’t see you coming.”

“Is that so?” Jeno asked. 

“Don’t listen to her,” Jaemin growled. “We already have the advantage. Their pathetic alpha almost lost his head when he tried to stand up to you.”

“Our alpha is stronger than ever,” I lied. “My pack has formed a formidable alliance. They’re prepared to attack and kill your wolves. You could avoid that confrontation and find easier hunting grounds further north.”

Jeno’s tail lashed harshly from behind him. “Will you come with us tonight, then?”

“Tomorrow night,” I tried, utilizing every argument my fear-ridden mind could conjure up to try and dissuade the obvious threat. Because if they attacked our camp, how many of my packmates would be killed? Would someone like Jeno have mercy on Mina’s pups? 

My sacrifice could save them all.

Jeno was quiet for a while, ignoring his packmate’s impatience. Finally, he conceded and I had never felt so relieved. “Alright, omega, if you come with us tomorrow night, then we’ll leave your pack alone.”

It was a worthy exchange, and I would be glad to risk my life.

“I promise,” I agreed. “As long as you keep your word.”

Jeno growled. “I always keep my word.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

I returned to my cabin shaking from head to toe. I had formally made an agreement with a rogue alpha to leave my pack in exchange for his. If my mates knew of this exchange, then they would immediately do everything in their power to change the end result. However, for once in my life, I wanted to do something for them.

I shakily crawled back into bed next to Changbin, willing the tension to leave my body. Surely, my mate would detect my heightened anxiety through our bond? I didn’t want Changbin to worry or ask any unnecessary questions.

“Did you leave, angel?” Changbin’s voice abruptly asked, voice groggy as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

“No,” I lied, gradually feeling his breathing even off as he returned to sleep. It wasn’t the first time I had ever lied to Changbin, but it might possibly be the most profound utterance of my entire existence.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I couldn’t think of a better way to honor my mates for the endless love and affection they always reserved for me. They were always there to help and support me, even if it led to embittered fights between the trio. Thankfully, I could at least rest easy with the knowledge that the four of us had seemingly settled into an easy situation despite the threat of the rogues. It was a good time to leave when everything was so perfect because I could always remember them this way. It was enough to instill the courage I needed to carry out my promise to Jeno. 

The following morning, I made sure to spend as much time with my mates as possible. I gave the morning to Changbin, waking up next to him and wrapping my hand loosely around his cock. Changbin was sweet, sleep still heavy in his eyelids as he fucked me, and I ran my hands across his dark skin, trying to memorize the way it felt.

I spent the afternoon with Jisung, the two of us playing together behind his cabin before we laid out a blanket on the grass. I let Jisung cook for me, even though he was rather horrible at in the kitchen, but I complimented his food. I even let him feed me since he enjoyed it so much. I always found it humiliating, but I knew it made him feel like he was taking care of me and I wanted him to feel like he was a perfect alpha.

It was harder to meet Chan that evening, enjoying the meal he prepared for us. As I sat across from him at the table, I studied his features closely hoping to keep a photographic equivalent locked safely away for me to summon at a whim’s notice. Chan hardly noticed my weird behavior, talking about how little they had seen of the rogues all day. I knew that was my doing, but it was validating to know that they would keep their word.

And since Chan was feeling better after his accident, I desperately wanted him to fuck me. It was easy to convince him, smashing kisses to every available surface of his countenance, releasing pheromones I knew he couldn’t resist. Despite the hurried way he tried to progress our lovemaking, I insisted on a slower pace, wanting to feel Chan’s fingers as they brushed across my skin. I needed his lips and teeth to leave marks against my collarbones, bruising the delicate skin around my scent gland.

I freed him from his shirt, enjoying his kisses while I worked hard to map out his body. I wanted to know every muscle and bone that built his torso, the pale skin that reminded me of the fresh snow in the mountains. I ran my hands across his abdomen, tracing the faint trail of dark hair that disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans.

There was so much of Chan to love and I wanted him to feel like he was the most important alpha in the world.

I handled his cock with as much care as possible, thumbing across his foreskin, watching the precum glistening at his tip. I decided to taste him, hoping to memorize that as well because I would miss every part of him when I was gone. The impossible swell of his knot, the dips my tongue encountered on their sensual journey along the velvety flesh. “Channie,” I purred happily, feeling him deep in my throat.

I could always remember that.

“Myah,” Chan’s voice was soft and affectionate. He undressed me leisurely, falling into the pace I set, kissing my skin reverently while making me feel like I was the most treasured thing in his life. I recalled an earlier conversation from dinner, remembering the way Chan spoke about the possibility of having pups of our own: “You’ll be glowing,” he praised. “I’ll have more of you to worship.”

“Whatever you want,” I replied even though I hated the fact that I couldn’t fulfill his request.

I choked on a sob as Chan’s cock suddenly penetrated between my legs. He groaned above me, scent heady and powerful as he pressed inside, connecting the two of us in the most intimate way possible. I wanted to stay like that forever, locked together with Chan, his knot holding us in place while he fervently praised me, words forming the most beautiful sentences.

“More,” I demanded of him, which might be selfish, but Chan was never one to deny me anything.

“Whatever you want,” he said in reply, quickening his pace, hips drumming against mine as the sound joined our harmony of moans.

“Please,” I cried, tightening my grip on his curls because they were lovely when I could feel them between my fingers.

“I love you,” Chan whispered, cock hitting perfectly as his tongue traced against my scent gland. 

I was crying, but perhaps Chan thought it was out of pleasure as opposed to the impending sacrifice weighing heavily on my subconscious. “I love you so much,” I hiccuped, moaning as I felt his knot catch, dragging heavily as he continued to thrust his hips.

“You’re mine,” Chan continued, chanting my name. “So beautiful.”

“Channie,” I whined, stuttering when he attempted to pull out one last time. He faced resistance from the knot, but he was strong enough to continue. 

Chan was always the strongest because his heart was pure and loving.

“You’ll make a great mother,” Chan whispered and I lost all inhibitions as he finally stilled his movements. He moaned as he rested his head against my chest, curls soft as he found where we were connected. I kissed the damp skin of his forehead, reaching down to thumb along the exposed flesh of his swollen knot causing him to shiver above me. “Feels so good,” he slurred, mouthing across my scent gland, toned shoulders flexing as he lowered himself to fit against the expanse of my throat. 

“You feel good,” I praised him, running my hands up and down the smooth skin of his back, pausing at the dip in his spine. 

“I’ve missed you,” Chan purred happily, content to nip at my scent gland while I savored the sensation of being completely obscured by his overwhelming warmth. Chan always made me feel safe because he was always willing to do whatever was necessary to ensure my well-being. I was grateful for everything he had given me, but I knew it was time to give something back.

Chan was slowly losing himself to the promise of sleep, and I could feel his hold loosening around my waist. I knew Jeno would be waiting, but I didn’t want Chan to suspect anything. Even if he noticed my absence in the middle of the night, I wanted to be long gone before he could possibly find me and change my mind.

Because my mates had spent their entire lives protecting me, so now it was time I tried protecting them.

I waited until Chan was fully unconscious before I quietly left the room.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 10

When I was still in high school, a group of jealous omega girls started openly targeting me as the primary recipient of their endless bullying. Apparently, the idea of having three alpha mates was incredibly taboo in our pack, especially given how young we were. Sure, there were plenty of instances of omegas mating with one or two alphas in other packs, but three? And it was impossible to forget how rare my situation was when our classmates enjoyed reminding me. 

In actuality, I should have known that they were hurting me out of jealousy as opposed to some sort of personal vendetta against an omega who had already mated three alphas. For example, the leader of this group of petty female nuances happened to be the same girl Changbin abandoned the night he mated me. And two of her friends had previously spent their heats with Jisung before I was even in the picture. But whatever the reason, I was always deeply offended when they would taunt me in the hallways or leave behind some sort of reminder that they despised my circumstances.

Like those horrible notes they left in my locker

I carefully unfolded the pristine white square, smoothing out the creases. “The school’s biggest slut,” I read aloud while trying to ignore the way my wolf bristled at the insinuation.

“At least you’ve acknowledged it,” a reckless female voice mocked from next to me. I glanced up wearily as she joined her friends at the lockers behind mine. 

I looked back down at the note despite the fact that the words had started swimming together in front of me. It was difficult to make out the letters and I felt absolutely horrible as I picked up their whispered insults. It was all too much for me to handle because I had never faced this level of derision before, especially from those who were supposedly my pack members.

“Angel.”

I quickly folded the note and stuffed it inside of a textbook before Changbin could see the harsh words. I turned around, hoping I looked more put together than I felt, unresisting when Changbin pulled me closer by the hips. “You smell good,” he remarked, leaning in closer. 

From over his shoulder, I spotted the young group of girls frowning in our direction. “I thought you were busy.”

“I’m never too busy for you,” he purred cheesily. “You shouldn’t be at school this close to your heat, angel. How can we take care of you here?”

I could hear their giggles in the background. “You never want to help,” I said bitterly, ignoring the way Changbin’s expression fell. 

“Angel,” Changbin continued delicately, “are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I muttered. “I can’t be late for class.”

“But if you aren’t feeling well...”

“I promise I’m okay,” I dismissed his concerns.

“Let me take you to class.”

“I can walk by myself,” I retorted, reaching back to slam my locker door shut. 

I knew I had hurt Changbin, but I couldn’t stop thinking about those filthy notes or the taunting insults and dirty looks my classmates gave me in the hallways. Those omega girls had no idea how wrong they were in turning everyone against me. They only cared about getting a reaction, and I wasn’t strong enough to deny them.

“Angel,” Changbin tried again, but I was already walking in the opposite direction.

I ate lunch alone because I was tired of dealing with the rest of my classmates, and I knew that nobody wanted to deal with me. It had become a tentative arrangement, an unspoken agreement that they would leave me alone if I sat as far away from civilization as possible. Normally, I would refuse to sit alone, but I didn’t have the desire to continue fighting when I was the only enemy.

I glanced out the window, watching the way the rain fell against the glass. My wolf longed to escape the oppressive atmosphere of our school life, and I had never wanted the shift more. I could practically feel my muscles aching, desiring nothing more than to let my wolf take control and run us back home where I felt safe.

I suddenly raised my head when I detected a familiar scent. It was graciously soothing...

“Hello, princess!” 

Jisung’s voice was charming as he sat next to me. “I switched lunch periods. Changbin said you weren’t feeling well.”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s exaggerating.”

“Well,” Jisung started, tossing down his tray, “I still worry.”

“I don’t want you to worry about me,” I said, sighing as I slowly started the process of dividing my vegetables into the remaining compartments of my lunch tray.

Jisung watched me carefully. “How was class?”

“Boring,” I told him honestly, wincing when my spoon scratched against the metal underside.

“I thought you liked your art class?”

“The teacher put on a film today,” I explained. “I was seconds away from falling asleep.”

“Is that why you look so down?” Jisung asked, shuffling in closer to me. 

I could feel his familiar warmth.

Jisung grabbed my spoon, filling it with the school’s flimsy excuse for nutrition. “Princess,” Jisung continued, holding out a spoonful of vegetables. 

A nearby duo of alphas had started observing our exchanges. The look in their eyes was one of silent judgment. “I’m not hungry,” I insisted, ignoring his offering.

Jisung frowned, lowering the food. “What’s wrong, princess?”

“I have a lot to do,” I said. “I need to talk to my teachers since I’ll be out for my heat.”

“That’s right,” Jisung said, eyes brightening. “When do you want me to come over?”

“I’ll let you know,” I said, suddenly feeling the desire to escape the dining room before the two of us attracted more attention. Yet, while attempting to stand up from the table, I was unprepared for the sudden headrush, stumbling to the side. 

An unfortunate side effect of my impending heat hormones.

But Jisung was there to hold me close, scenting me gently while my vision slowly stabilized. Nevertheless, I still heard the whispers from the surrounding tables. Why was everyone being so infuriating?

“Jisung,” I hissed, stepping out of his embrace. The alphas sitting next to our table snickered as they watched the two of us. 

“Did I hurt you, princess?” Jisung fretted, hands anxiously wandering down my arms. 

“No,” I fidgeted, taking another step back. “I just don’t feel good.”

“Are you cramping?” Jisung questioned and my face heated because he had said it so loudly. It felt like every pair of eyes in the dining room were looking in our direction.

“Don’t say that,” I urged him.

“Is it that bad?” Jisung asked, voice quieter. “Do you want me to take you home, princess?”

“It’s nothing,” I insisted, reaching down for my textbook. 

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No,” I said quickly, perhaps with more reprimation than I intended. Jisung was so easily breakable and I knew my words would hurt him. Which is why I didn’t stick around to make things worse than they already were.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Since our bond was still relatively fresh, I usually sought after Chan at various points throughout the day. Even if it was for just a brief moment, the two of us would scent one another between classes to appease our demanding wolves. Usually, it was I who often cornered Chan and sought his attention. Today, however, it was Chan who found me, grabbing my hand and pulling me inside an empty classroom. 

Chan studied me for a brief moment, blue eyes searching. Then, he cautiously bared his neck, and I took the time to ensure that we were truly alone before I scented him enough to feel the bond settle back down into place. But that wasn’t enough for Chan.

“Something’s wrong,” Chan said, an observation as opposed to a question. “Changbin and Jisung said you weren’t feeling well.”

“I told them I was fine,” I snapped.

Chan raised one brow in question. “I don’t think you are.”

“It’s just my heat,” I insisted, jerking back when he attempted to fit his palm against my forehead.

Chan frowned. “You’re not acting like yourself.”

“I know,” I said. “I’m not usually close to heat.”

“I don’t think that’s why,” Chan reasoned and I cursed his intuitiveness. The alpha knew me better than most after a lifetime of close friendship.

“Don’t make me tell you,” I begged and Chan startled at the raw vulnerability I allowed in my tone.

“Now I’m worried,” Chan said, reaching out for my hand which I allowed him to take.

“I’ll figure it out,” I offered vaguely. “There’s nothing you can to do help.”

“Not if you don’t ask,” Chan countered, resting his forehead against mine.

“I can’t this time,” I said. “I have to be the one to fix this.”

“You know I don’t like that, Myah,” he said. “If I can’t help you as a mate, then I’m breaking my promise.”

“You can’t know,” I trembled.

“Why?”

“Because you’d be furious and irrational,” I said, startling when Chan abruptly pulled away.

“This sounds bad.”

“It really isn’t the worst thing that could happen,” I said. “You should focus on building the new pack. The four of us graduate soon.”

“Will you be out for your heat tomorrow?” Chan asked. “Your scent is spiking.”

“I’ll come to school one more day.”

“Can it be fixed before your heat?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “But I promise I’ll be okay. Please just worry about the new pack.”

“You’re my first priority,” Chan reminded me gently, thumbing across my lips.

“Not this time,” I said, brushing my fingers across his cheek. “Let me handle this problem.”

I held the alpha’s demanding gaze, but it was always difficult to convince Chan to submit.

“Okay,” Chan reluctantly agreed. “But if you keep acting like this, then you have to tell me.”

“I promise,” I said even as the lie weighed heavily over my heart.

-------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, I arrived at school early feeling absolutely horrible. It was a terrible mistake to come to school that day. I was feverish and sickly, sweat dotting my forehead in an unappealing way, and I knew my heat was right on the precipice. I could barely sleep, bombarded by vivid dreams of my three mates, salivating at the image of their thick knots.

I shook myself from my headspace, hurrying to my locker to exchange textbooks. I was quickly growing more and more assured that I had made a bad decision about leaving my house. Thankfully, I knew that I could likely convince Jisung to take me home after lunch since we shared a class.

Reassured by this development, I opened my locker door, immediately noticing the folded note waiting on top of my math textbook. I let out a sigh as I opened the paper, reading the sentences carefully. And each subsequent line slowly broke my resolve the more I read my classmates’ spiteful comments.

“There you are!”

I ignored him at first, too swept away by the note. My wolf howled in outrage, demanding she take control and show those girls why they should mind their own business. But I couldn’t let her go because I would lose complete independence so close to my heat.

I grimaced at the note’s message, ignoring the way Jisung lingered, confusion evident in his expression. “Princess?”

I took off down the hallway without another word.

-------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to do something about it, meet us during lunch in the gym.

I was shaking, rage overcoming every action as I stormed down the hallway. My fever was out of control and my entire body felt overheated. Yet, I didn’t hesitate at the opportunity to confront those omega girls. I had promised Chan I’d try to take care of the problem and this was my chance.

I easily spotted the five omega girls waiting inside the gym. My vision was narrowed, focusing only on the girls who had made my life so unbearable recently. But I didn’t want to be miserable anymore, I would end things once and for all.

“You came,” one of the girls remarked as if she was genuinely shocked to see me.

I held up the note to remind her. “You invited me.”

“We didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to show up,” the leader teased, starting slowly in my direction. “Where are your little guards?”

“Maybe she let them off their leashes,” the first girl giggled.

“What a slut,” the leader smirked. “Do you just spread your legs so that they can take their turn with you?”

“Or maybe she has a preference,” another added. “I know Changbin likes it rough.”

My chest heaved as I took a deep breath. “How are you gonna keep them satisfied?”

“Eventually, they’ll get tired of sharing,” the first omega said. “You’ll be left alone and nobody will want a slut.”

For some reason, now that I was here, my entire demeanor had shifted. I no longer felt angry, my wolf was unusually quiet, and my heat symptoms had settled. But I had also lost my fire, my drive to control the five girls and now I couldn’t find the right words. Instead, I was silent, allowing them to insult me while I no longer felt the urge to do anything about it.

I allowed the five of them to corner me against the wall, wedged between hard concrete and an angry aggregation of omega females. The leader took a step closer, eyeing the mark on my neck. “Everyone knows Changbin only marked you because he was in a rut.”

Her friends laughed at the comment. 

“What should we do, ladies?” the leader continued. “How do we make the little slut pay?”

“I don’t know,” one of the others contributed. “She must have a high tolerance for pain if she can take three knots.”

More snickering. “Should we test it?”

The first slap was jarring, snapping my neck to the side. I could feel the reminder, stinging the raw skin of my right cheek. “Pathetic,” the leader snarled. “How much more can you take?”

“I think you might want to reconsider,” a dangerous voice growled.

The lead omega let go of me so fast that it was almost imperceptible. Suddenly, there were familiar scents overtaking the nasty smell of those horrible girls. I opened my eyes, watching the omega leader whine submissively as Chan bared his teeth.

A warning.

“Do you think you can do this?” Chan continued. “What gives you the right?”

“Chan,” the leader tried, “we didn’t mean anything by it!”

“You tried to hurt my mate,” Chan snapped. “That means you tried to hurt us too.”

“And you put your hands on her?” Changbin added eyes darkened considerably. 

“You’re the ones who deserve to feel pain,” Jisung inserted, and I was taken aback by the hostility in my mate’s words. I had never heard Jisung sound so confrontational before. His threat was frightening and I could feel its authenticity which prompted me into action.

I carefully reached for Jisung, wrapping my hand around his bicep. His expression shifted, shoulders relaxing. “Just let them go.”

Jisung turned to look at me. “Let them go?”

“Not after what they did,” Changbin insisted, fully prepared to follow through on their words.

Thankfully, Chan seemed more aware of what I wanted. “Get out of here,” he said coldly, watching me even while his dismissive tone was addressed to the five omega girls who hesitated as their leader froze.

But Changbin’s resounding growl sent the girls scampering in the other direction. 

Meanwhile, Chan’s hand settled on my shoulder, urging me to come closer. My head thudded hard against Chan’s powerful chest, tears ruining the fabric of his t-shirt. I was shaking, hands clenched together while I swallowed painfully.

I could feel Changbin and Jisung’s presence, anxiously worried as they felt the full force of my frustration. “You should have told me,” Chan said, holding me close. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”

“Those girls,” Changbin started, voice thick with anger, “they’re the sluts.”

“How long?” Chan inquired, fingers lovely as they sorted through the strands of my hair.

“A while,” I offered vaguely, more concerned with the deliciously familiar scent of my alpha mate as I nosed along his collarbone. I could feel Changbin behind me, hands familiar on my hips. 

“I’m sorry, angel.”

Jisung’s lips brushed across my temple. “You can’t keep these things from us.”

However, above everything else, Chan’s voice was distinct and clear, reassuring and familiar.

“We’ll always keep you safe, Myah.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Present

I wanted to be brave, but I had never quite felt this helpless before. 

It had only been a day since I had abandoned my pack, but I was already miserable. Sadly, there was nobody around to support me this time. I was the outsider here while the other omega girls scampered around their rogue pack members. In fact, two of them were begging for Jaemin’s attention, submitting easily to their desires as he flirted. It was strange to watch the exchange considering the harsh way Jaemin had talked down to me.

I was brought back to reality by Jeno’s unwanted touch.

He traced the outline of Changbin’s mating mark. “These will have to go,” he said dismissively.

I trembled despite the close proximity of the fire. 

“Fuck her good, Jeno,” Jaemin sneered, holding his two omegas close. 

“She won’t be able to walk when I’m done with her,” Jeno promised, nipping at my ear. 

“Do it soon because they might be able to track her,” Rejun suddenly inserted, gaze cautious as he glanced around our unorthodox camp set-up. 

“They won’t have a claim when I’m done,” Jeno said. “You don’t need those alphas anyway, omega.”

He was wrong, but I couldn’t say anything. After all, I had willingly compromised with the intimidating alpha for the safety of my pack. And while I still believed in my decision, I also couldn’t help but long for the familiarity of home and my three mates.

“Take her now,” Renjun urged, nodding towards one of the tents. “Do it fast before they become a problem.”

I didn’t wince when Jeno roughly grabbed me, forcing me up while he practically drug me into his tent. I landed roughly on the mattress, whimpering despite my attempts to remain strong against the alpha. He was over me in the next second, baring his teeth to intimidate my wolf. I could feel her inside me, bowing her head shamefully as the fight slowly left my body.

“You’ll just take it,” Jeno growled approvingly, leaning down to mouth at my scent gland. “Like a good little bitch.”

I was forced onto my stomach, whining loudly as the alpha jerked off my pants. “And you can take my knot tonight,” he continued, “and I’ll claim you for myself.”

In moments like this, I wish I could simply pretend that everything was okay. It seemed obvious to try and imagine myself in a better situation, that maybe I could pretend it was Jisung or Changbin or Chan with me instead of Jeno. But I guess I didn't have enough experience with that so I was stuck dealing with the consequences.

“You have good sense,” Jeno said, fingers rough and messy. “You’ll be quiet, won’t you? Just let me do what I want.”

I growled out a warning but didn’t fight back when I heard the sound of his belt. His body was too warm over mine, hands wrong when they touched my hips to adjust my position, and my senses were assaulted with his appalling musky scent. My wolf was bristling, pacing anxiously because she knew what was about to happen but had no idea how we could stop it from happening. 

“Jeno,” a tentative voice suddenly interrupted.

I sighed in relief when Jeno pulled back, growling in frustration. “What is it?”

The rogue wolf didn’t even react despite my compromising position with the alpha. “Jeno,” he said, “a patrol spotted wolves not far from the campsite.”

“Is it her pack?” Jeno asked, glaring down at me.

“We think it is.”

Jeno sighed audibly. “Tell Jaemin and Renjun to gather some wolves together to check out the report. The rest of us will stay behind to pack up the camp, we’ll have to leave tonight as a precaution.”

“Yes sir,” the wolf agreed, retreating quietly from the tent.

“You got lucky this time,” Jeno snapped in my ear and I was graciously left alone to deal with the stray tears that had fallen.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 11

One Year Ago

I watched Chan and Changbin from afar as they spoke together in low voices, observing Minho and Hyunjin’s practice session with studious expressions. My two packmates in question were in prime form, circling each other as they attempted different attacks and reversals. Meanwhile, our youngest pack members watched the exchanges with wide, eager eyes.

I grinned as I noticed the way Jeongin gasped after Hyunjin aggressively pinned Minho to the ground. The younger wolves were always more impressionable and I knew Jeongin idolized Hyunjin, begging the older wolf to teach him battle skills. And teaching the other wolves how to fight was Hyujin’s responsibility, although my two oldest mates had started to regularly involve themselves with our pack’s training.

It was important that the pack prepare its younger members when it came to fighting. Patrols were an essential component of pack life, and if you encountered danger along the borderlines, then you needed to know how to protect yourself. And when a pack member finally came of age, once they graduated from school, they could request to join border patrols and hunts. 

It was a careful system that had been firmly established for a very long time. And as dictated by tradition, once a wolf finished primary school, they would report regularly for either border patrols or scheduled hunting sessions. But they needed to learn the important skills first which is where Minho and Hyunjin came into the picture. When our pack was first formed, Chan assigned Minho in charge of hunting training and Hyunjin in charge of combat training.  

However, Chan and Changbin had taken an interest in observing the recent talent pool of young recruits. Perhaps it was because this was the first time a group of recruits had actually graduated from our new pack’s primary school and joined the regular training sessions. In any case, I often accompanied my mates to the practices because I was incredibly curious since I had declined the opportunity to patrol or hunt. Instead, I chose to cook because I was much more skilled when it came to the culinary arts. Plus, I think it gave my mates peace of mind knowing that I wasn’t in any sort of potential danger. 

Nevertheless, I wasn’t needed for kitchen duty until dinner which left me with far too much time to find something to occupy myself. It was another suitable explanation for why I chose to join Chan and Changbin. Plus, I could admire the powerful physiques of my mates who frequently tucked their t-shirts into the back of their pants under the heat of the afternoon sun.

“Minho,” Changbin said, “show me the stance again.”

Minho complied and Changbin slowly circled around the wolf in question, eyes narrowed as he scrutinized. I admired the attention to detail because Changbin was our pack’s best hunter and, in addition to taking on the responsibilities of the pack’s third in command, Changbin was lead hunter which meant he organized all of the hunting patrols. It was only natural that he was critical of the younger ones who were trying to earn their spots on our pack’s hunting team.

Changbin turned to address the gathered crowd of eager learners. “There’s a lot you should know when you’re out in the woods...”

I lost focus on what Changbin was saying, far too busy studying the hard planes of his broad chest. Recently, Changbin was trying harder to gain more muscle, and his efforts were definitely started to show. Usually, most pack hunters were lean and quick, but Changbin was far bigger which allowed him to take down larger prey most wolves might ignore. 

As Changbin finished his lecture, I turned my head to the side only to find myself ensnared with Chan’s teasing gaze. I raised one brow in question. Chan grinned, slyly making his way over to me while Changbin continued to hold the pack’s attention. “You’re staring,” Chan accused me once he was closer.

“Was not!”

“I can smell your arousal,” Chan continued, laughing when I snapped playfully in his direction. “Bin is trying to teach the new hunters. He doesn’t need you distracting him.”

“I’m over here,” I countered, unconsciously leaning in closer to Chan. My mate snickered and wordlessly combed his fingers through my hair.

“You smell like sweat,” I complained, groaning when he suddenly smashed my face against his bare chest. “Channie!”

“You wanted a closer view,” Chan pointed out to which I begrudgingly stopped squirming and simply accepted my fate.

“How are the recruits?” I asked conversationally, wrapping an arm loosely around Chan’s waist.

“They’re learning,” he nodded. “Changbin is too critical.”

“He’s always like that,” I begrudged. “I tried to get him to teach me how to hunt once.”

“And?”

“I wouldn’t speak to him for a week after because he complained the entire time,” I said, taking on a deeper pitch in an attempt to replicate my mate’s voice. “Your stance is wrong, angel. You need to stand like this, are you even paying attention?”

Chan chuckled. “What about when Jisung tried to teach you how to fight?”

I winced at the memory, ghosting my fingers across my hip where Jisung had left a considerable bruise after demonstrating one of his maneuvers. “I guess he’s second in command for a reason.”

“Jisung was just excited,” Chan defended him. “He likes showing off for you.”

“I know,” I groaned before glancing up at Chan. “But he isn’t the only one.”

Chan feigned cluelessness. “Bin?”

“Are you talking about me?”

I squealed when Changbin abruptly wrestled me from Chan’s arms. “Are you done tormenting the younger wolves?”

“I was helping them,” Changbin growled playfully, and I whined in protest as Changbin pulled me closer, nosing his way along my throat. “Are you here to help, angel?”

Chan leaned against the wall, sweat perspiring against his pale skin. “She was complaining about how you like to show off.”

“Chan!” I snapped in his direction, but Changbin immediately pulled my attention back. 

“I only show off for you,” Changbin said, pressing a kiss to his mating mark. “But I know you’ve been looking at me.”

“I’m only here for moral support.”

“Oh really?” Changbin questioned before leaning in closer. “You can have me all to yourself now, angel.”

“Are you going back to your cabin?”

“Of course,” he whispered seductively, one hand moving down to cup the heat between my legs. “You can have me all night.”

“You and Jisung are on patrol tonight,” Chan reminded Changbin, intervening in our scandalous display. 

“Tonight?” Changbin groaned, reluctantly pulling back. 

“I’m not switching, Bin,” Chan grinned as if he could already predict Changbin’s next words before they could even formulate in the alpha’s head. “I covered for you on your rut.”

“I know Jisung did it on purpose,” Changbin grumbled. “He’s jealous because I tracked those foreign scents on the backtrails and he couldn’t.” Changbin pursed his lips, squeezing at my hips. “Some second in command he is.”

Chan rolled his eyes. “You haven’t been on a patrol in months.”

“I’m in charge of hunting.”

“There’s nothing to hunt in the winter,” Chan countered, smiling victoriously as he pulled me away from Changbin’s hold. 

“Figures,” Changbin grunted, moving in to press a quick kiss to my puckered lips. “Have fun tonight.”

I giggled as Changbin reluctantly sauntered away, steps slow and methodical as he left the two of us alone. “Does that mean I’m coming with you?” I teased, nipping at the inviting pout of Chan’s lower lip.

“Of course it does,” Chan agreed. “I need attention too.”

“Well, are you done here?” I asked, nodding to where Minho and Hyunjin were talking with the younger wolves.

“I put them in charge for a reason,” he teased, reaching for my hand. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

I wandered by the open entryway to Chan’s bedroom, listening to my mate mess around somewhere in the kitchen. “Channie,” I called out to him, vaguely scanning the books gathering dust on his nightstand.

“Myah,” Chan returned and I smirked.

“I thought you wanted attention.”

“I do,” he said, voice much closer this time. I glanced back at my mate, watching him as he entered the bedroom. My eyes scanned over Chan greedily. 

“How about a bath?” Chan asked. 

“Please.”

Chan held out a hand which I gladly took, allowing him to pull me in the adjoining bathroom. “Take off your clothes,” he instructed with a wink, already unbuckling his jeans.

I rolled my eyes at his tone but reached down for the hem of my shirt. In the meantime, I could hear Chan messing around with the water, the small room suddenly filling with a delicious scent courtesy of the added soaps he always kept around for me. I appreciated the gesture, watching as he slowly submerged himself beneath the water. “Come on,” he said, holding out a hand to gently lead me into the bathtub. I easily settled between his legs, reclining back against his hard chest. “Comfortable?” he asked to which my omega purred in response. 

“Thank you,” I whispered, closing my eyes as his fingers started working at my shoulders.

“Why are so tense?” he suddenly asked. “Are you upset?”

I debated telling him the truth because I knew it would seem utterly ridiculous from his point of view. “I worry about you and Jisung,” I reluctantly admitted. “I don’t like it when you go out on patrols and I worry about Changbin when he’s hunting.”

“What do you think will happen?” he asked quietly.

“That you’ll get hurt,” I whispered. “And you won’t come home to me.”

“Myah,” Chan gently soothed. “That’s why we go with other wolves. We all have each other’s backs. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I don’t like the idea of you fighting other wolves.”

“I’m stronger than you give me credit for,” Chan teased, and I was blushing because he made it seem ridiculous to worry for his safety.

I leaned back against Chan, shivering when his thumbs teased the bottom of my breasts. “I thought you wanted to relax,” I said even though I had no qualms with his touches.

“You aren’t relaxed?” he questioned, teeth nipping at the shell of my ear.

“I love you,” I suddenly blurted, reclining my head to meet his eyes. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“I love you too,” he whispered back. “And you’ll never lose me.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Present

I was shivering violently despite the thick coat a sympathetic omega had given me. My fingers clutched at the lapels in a desperate attempt to keep out the cold wind. It would be better if we stopped and tried to pitch the tents, gathering together around a fire to keep warm. However, despite the obvious exhaustion of his pack members, Jeno insisted we keep going to the point where the night had finally been traded in for the promise of dawn. 

And the pack reluctantly marched on.

Some of the stronger wolves, like Jaemin and Renjun, loyally followed their alpha’s command. But I could start to sense some resistance from the rest of his pack, especially those with mates who were obviously worried about one another’s well-being. Yet, Jeno was insistent, reminding the others just how close “the enemy” was to our location. “They can’t find us,” Jeno said, nodding his head assuredly.

I swallowed hard as I fought to maintain his pace. I could feel my strength seeping from my body, fighting the exhaustion of fleeing through the snowy valley and the cold threatening to attack my vulnerable form. I tried to think about my cabin back home, the familiar warmth of the fireplace that maintained a beautiful glow as I snuggled into my bed. Unfortunately, the biting frost nipping my nose and fingertips proved to be far stronger than my memory.

“Jeno,” one of the younger alphas whined. “We can’t keep going.”

Jeno turned around with a snarl. “Do you want to get caught?”

“Let’s stop for the morning,” the smaller wolf suggested. “Just for a little while.”

Jeno obviously did not like the idea, frowning as he surveyed the rest of his pack mates. “Is that what you want?”

I shivered, withholding the urge to confront the alpha. Meanwhile, the rest of his pack were oppressively silent, even if the way their eyes darted around betrayed the fact that these wolves were indeed tired of fighting the cold. 

Jaemin snorted at the display. “Are you weak?”

Jeno shook his head, appearing conflicted. “Fine, but just for an hour.”

A collective gasp of relief was audible. 

“We’ll patrol the woods,” Jaemin informed Jeno, nodding over to where Renjun impatiently walked back and forth.

“Good,” Jeno said, now glaring down at me. “This is way more trouble than we bargained for.”

“Myah,” Chan’s sultry voice sounded absolutely lovely in the mornings. 

Still, I let out a groan as I pulled the blankets closer. “No.”

“Are you tired?”

“I just wanna sleep,” I slurred, reaching out for Chan’s pillow which smelled positively irresistible as I scented the fabric.

“Jisung’s waiting for you outside,” Chan said. 

“Later,” I insisted, ignoring the way Chan’s fingers trailed up the exposed skin of my thigh. 

“What if it’s important?”

“Nothing is more important than sleep,” I explained.

I could hear Chan’s low laughter. “Myah,” he tried again, “I think you’re gonna hurt Jisung’s feelings...”

“Get up!” Jenos harsh voice pulled me from the much-needed slumber I had fallen into. 

I blinked my eyes rapidly, disoriented for a moment as I tried to figure out what was going on.

“Come on,” Jeno growled, holding tightly to my wrist.

I whimpered at his harsh grip as I struggled to recover from the sudden demand to move. “Where are we going?” I asked blearily, stumbling along behind him.

Jeno ignored me, approaching a nearby wolf with purpose. “Well?” he demanded, dark eyes wild.

“We’re surrounded,” the wolf explained, forcibly meeting Jeno’s fiery gaze.

“Then we fight,” Jeno decided. “Organize the lines.”

Organize the lines? But that must mean...

I unconsciously gripped tighter to Jeno’s hand. Because my pack had found the rogues. They were coming for me.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 12

“I want you to be able to fight, princess,” Jisung appealed, ignoring the glare I tossed in his direction.

Changbin let out a snort. “She doesn’t care for it.”

“I did until he tossed me on my ass,” I grumbled, leaning in closer to Chan who was patiently resting behind me on the bed.

Jisung pouted. “I might have gotten carried away.”

“Really?” Changbin faintly growled in Jisung’s direction, walking over to my bedside. “You left a bruise.”

“I didn’t mean it,” Jisung insisted. 

“You came from a good place,” Chan suddenly interrupted, soothingly running a hand up and down my thigh. “I thought it was a good idea.”

“Then you’re both at fault,” Changbin declared, tugging on my jacket sleeve. “You should be sitting with me, angel.”

I giggled. “You just want attention.”

“I’m on your side,” Changbin continued, holding out an arm in an obvious attempt to coax me forward.

Chan chuckled and nudged me gently from behind. “Go on, he’s obviously jealous.”

Changbin snarled in Chan’s direction. I rolled my eyes as I crawled in his direction, forcing his attention away. “You have me now.”

Changbin greedily wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me flat against his chest. Meanwhile, Jisung sighed in a rather exaggerated fashion. “You’ll never let me live this down.”

“You’re right,” Changbin mused, running his nose through my hair. 

“It’s alright, Jisung,” I teased him, “I’m sure you didn’t mean to shove me down.”

“Princess,” Jisung whined, tentatively sitting next to me on the edge of the bed. “I just wanted to help.”

“I know,” I grinned, leaning over to brush my thumb across his bottom lip. “But you’ll always be around to protect me.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Present

It was nearly impossible to remain motionless next to Jeno while I could clearly see my packmates as they emerged from the woods. They were an imposing sight, especially with the additions of NCT filling their lines as necessary allies. And standing at the front to lead the assault, daunting as they stood together as wolves, were my three alpha mates. 

Vicious and determined.

Chan was the first to break formation, taking a few steps closer to Jeno, eyes clear and focused. “You have wronged my pack for the last time.”

Jeno was quiet for a moment, hold on my wrist unrelenting. “Your pack stands no chance against ours.”

“But they aren’t alone,” Taeyong added, stepping out to accommodate Chan. “You’ve done enough harm to NCT, are you so willing to break up another pack? Was leaving us not enough?”

“We left because your leadership was lacking,” Jeno replied.

“You left because you refused to conduct yourselves honorably,” Taeyong retorted.

“You have no place to talk about honor,” Jeno snarled. “You ally yourself with our enemies, hand out our packmates to use as soldiers in other wars. That is not honorable.”

“But then you somehow think that it’s right to try and steal another pack’s territory?” Taeyong questioned, briefly exchanging glances with Chan.

“I have every right,” Jeno snapped, abruptly yanking me forward. “I took what they couldn’t defend.”

I shivered as Changbin let out an intimidating growl, barely restrained as his wolf kept his gaze firmly transfixed on me

“Jeno, that’s enough,” Taeyong growled. “You had no place to attempt an illegitimate invasion and you have no right to another alpha’s mate.”

“We’re not under your control anymore,” Jeno spat. “We’ll do as necessary to survive on our own.” 

“Then survive on your own,” Taeyong agreed. “Apply for new territory according to tradition.” Taeyong considered me next and I was deeply impressed by the alpha’s obvious wisdom. “Return Myah to her pack.”

“That will never happen,” Jeno declared.

“Are you prepared to shed blood over this?”

“You won’t see us back down,” Jeno growled, exchanging a knowing glance with Jaemin before the smaller alpha let out a menacing howl.

Jeno grabbed my arm and pulled me away as the rest of his rogues charged in the direction of my packmates. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

I struggled to match Jeno’s pace, vision blurry from the force of the wind blowing back against me. The alpha seemed determined, but I had no idea where he was planning to take me. In any case, I knew he was a terrible head alpha for abandoning his pack on the battlefield. If his point was to prove his pack was better off away from NCT, then he continued to make poor decisions to affirm his position.

“This is your fault,” he snarled, suddenly turning around to confront me. We were far away from the battle, even if I could still hear the familiar sounds of war behind us. 

“I kept my promise,” I replied simply.

“We should’ve invaded,” Jeno continued. “I would have your pack’s territory.”

“Then the fault is with your leadership,” I growled in return.

In the next second, I was fumbling to the ground courtesy of a well-timed slap from Jeno. I blinked up at the alpha rapidly, feeling the cold sting against my reddened skin. “You have no place to speak against an alpha.”

“Touch her again and you’ll never speak again.”

My wolf howled with joy, sensing Chan so closeby. I glanced over my shoulder, body shuddering with relief when I spotted my mate. “You think you can defeat me?”

“I’m certain I can try.”

“Pathetic!”

Jeno’s wolf paced back and forth, keeping me mostly obscured from Chan’s view. “You had no right to come here,” Chan growled, viciously pawing at the cold snow.

“We have every right,” Jeno countered. “My pack can challenge for territory. There’s nothing you can do to stop it.”

“We can spill the blood of your ranks,” Chan said. 

“You can certainly try!”

“And you’ve also taken something precious from me.”

I shivered at Chan’s tone while Jeno huffed in annoyance. “The omega is mine now and I will be the one to make a new claim.”

“You’re making a mistake,” Chan warned the other alpha. “I’ll rip out your throat before I let you touch my mate.”

“I’ve already touched her,” Jeno taunted, a deadly mistake. I shuffled back through the snow as Chan abruptly charged at Jeno. The wolves were vicious, snarls echoing throughout the clearing as teeth tore through flesh. My eyes were wide, attentive, taking in the scene in front of me with a mixture of trepidation and anxiety.

Chan was far bigger than Jeno, but the smaller alpha was faster, managing well-placed bites and scratches along my mate’s flank. I winced every time Chan was hit, feeling the pain for myself as Chan allowed ear-splitting howls and barks each time Jeno was successful in an attack. And I longed to do something to help, but I knew my wolf was no match, even as an ally, in this dangerous skirmish. Instead, I kept myself away from the proximity of their fight, rooting for Chan whenever he managed to turn the tables, although it seemed Jeno always had a counter in mind despite Chan’s best efforts.

It made me think of our battle training when Chan had been fighting Hyunjin as a demonstration for the younger wolves. It was a similar scene because Hyunjin was significantly smaller than Chan. My mate was trying to help the wolves who would find themselves in Hyunjin’s position, greatly outmatched against an opponent. Chan was incredibly battle-smart and instructed Hyunjin through a series of complicated maneuvers that ultimately resulted in Chan laying flat on his back with Hyunjin on top. Of course, back then Chan had been proud of Hyunjin, telling him that he was a great fighter. Size did not always matter.

I swallowed hard when I recognized a similar attack from Jeno, seeking access to Chan’s vulnerable throat where one bite could end my mate’s life. Suddenly, this wasn’t just another day of battle training where nobody’s life was at risk. Chan could easily die at any moment and that sobering thought brought me back to reality, tears slipping free as I whined loudly from the bushes.

Jeno’s eyes shot in my direction and I froze.

Was he going to attack me instead?

But I wasn’t expecting to provide a distraction and Jeno was unprepared for Chan’s counter, swiping the smaller alpha’s legs from under him. Jeno collapsed against the snow-covered ground with a grunt. And Chan was there to take advantage of his unexpected position, rolling Jeno onto his back.

I blinked my eyes rapidly before the situation had completely processed. Was it actually over? After Chan had Jeno pinned to the ground, teeth deadly against the pale expanse of Jeno’s exposed throat. Is this all it took?

“You’re lucky to have my mercy,” Chan snarled. “We’ll let Taeyong deal with you.”

I watched as Jeno visibly deflated, flank panting hard as he reluctantly submitted to the alpha who had clearly wrenched an obvious advantage. In the meantime, I had started taking small steps in the direction of my seething mate, seeking his comfort. I let out a low whine to attract his attention and his eyes had already softened by the time they caught mine.

“Come here,” Chan instructed, shifting back to the same blonde-headed man I had fallen in love with all those years ago.

“Channie,” my voice cracked as I fell into his arms, easily shifting back and eagerly scenting him as my body melted against his.

“Myah,” Chan exhaled, fingers digging harshly into my waist. 

He scented me feverishly in return, nose wet from the unbearable cold. “This will never happen to you again,” Chan promised. “Nobody will take you from me.”

I shivered, but this time it was because my mate was sorely mistaken. I had been the one to agree to leave with Jeno. And I could only hope my mate was far too relieved to have me once again to offer the sharp reprimand that I probably deserved.

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Princess,” Jisung’s voice was reassuring, and I desperately inhaled his familiar scent. 

I could feel Changbin anxiously pacing nearby, trying his best to patiently wait his turn with me. The idea brought out a smile and it felt nice given all that had happened. “Relax,” I could hear Chan trying to soothe the younger.

Meanwhile, all around us, the battle had finally progressed to an end. Medical teams were spreading across the field as they tended to the wounded and the ones who had been spared injury were lending a helping hand. As for Jeno’s pack, most of the wolves had reluctantly submitted to Taeyong’s command. The cynical alpha himself, still reeling from his humiliating defeat, was surrounded by three powerful NCT wolves who were waiting for Taeyong’s final order. Whispers had circulated that Taeyong would banish Jeno from the surrounding territory, taking away his pack, his source of strength, and forcing him to live out the remainder of his life in exile.

A cruel fate for any wolf.

“Is it my turn yet?” Changbin grumbled from behind me.

I rolled my eyes playfully as I pulled away from Jisung to allow Changbin his turn to reaffirm our mating bond. As expected, Changbin was greedy, sniffing almost drunkenly at my scent gland. His strong arms held me close, providing a nice shelter from the insistent winds.

“Well?” Jisung eventually asked, looking at Chan. “Have they decided?”

“Taeyong will exile him,” Chan nodded. “It’s what he deserves.”

I shivered at the cold tone.

“He deserves worse,” Changbin growled and I could feel the vibrations from his chest.

“He’s not our responsibility to punish,” Chan said. “I should talk to Taeyong and then we can go home.”

I whined a little at the prospect of returning to camp because it had never crossed my mind while I was gone that I would be able to ever see my pack again. But perhaps I should’ve known better because my mates had never given up on me before. They were too strong, especially when they worked together and I was almost convinced they could do anything they wanted with that combined power. No wolf could stand in their way.

“Angel,” Changbin whispered in my ear. “Are you okay?”

I nodded against him. “I’m okay.”

I could feel Jisung’s presence as he lingered nearby. “We’re sorry this happened to you, princess.”

“He should be lucky we didn’t have a say in his punishment,” Changbin snarled, hold tightening to accommodate the sudden tension in his body.

“Don’t hurt her,” Jisung softly reprimanded the alpha. Changbin’s arms fell from around me as he took hold of my chin. 

“He didn’t hurt you, right angel?”

I shook my head, deciding not to rile up Changbin anymore with complaints against Jeno’s harsh touches or the way he nearly got what he wanted last night in his tent. “He didn’t.”

“When Chan comes back,” Changbin continued, “we’ll go home, alright? You’re safe now, angel.”

Jisung’s fingers soothingly massaged into the back of my neck. “Everything can go back to normal.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

I never imagined the sight of my camp could be so thrilling. I had every cabin memorized, the layout of the land perfectly mapped in my memory. Yet, as soon as my pack’s familiar scent filled my nose, my inner wolf nearly howled in delight. 

Our pack members who had accompanied us to the battle immediately took off in various directions to their cabins. For once, Chan had relieved them of all responsibilities, ordering everyone to rest for the remainder of the day. As for myself, my three mates had redirected us to Chan’s cabin, filing in one by one as they closely followed me to the couch. I sat down with a sigh, feeling the tension drain from my body. Chan joined me next, and I let out a squeak as he lifted me by my waist to readjust my position in his lap. I leaned in to scent him again, never tiring of the way it always soothed my omega. 

I curled closer to Chan, feeling utterly exhausted. Changbin and Jisung flanked Chan on either side of the couch, leaning in slightly to allow their scents to intermingle together. It provided a calming effect on my body, and I found myself relaxing considerably. It was rare for my mates to share a room like this in such an intimate capacity. Their wolves were usually far too competitive to allow our scents to so freely combine. However, I think the events of this evening left everyone, including our wolves, desiring nothing more than closeness. 

I purred when Changbin’s hand curled around my thigh. “How did they take you, angel?”

I trembled at his question. “I left on my own willpower,” I admitted. “Jeno promised he would leave the pack alone if I came with him.”

Silence answered my confession. 

It was an expected reaction, and I had already come to terms with the lecture I would probably receive from my mates for acting so recklessly. However, I also had my own defense prepared for their sharp words. After all, I had left with Jeno because I was trying to save the pack. It wasn’t like I had fallen victim to some sort of cunning scheme or freely decided that I wanted a taste of life beyond the borders of our territory. 

I would have nightmares about the ordeal for years.

“You tried to do the right thing,” Chan finally reasoned delicately, touching his forehead against mine. “Everything worked out in the end.”

The dismissal was surprising, but I wasn’t one to question my mates when they had seemingly allowed me a free pass. Instead, I leaned in closer to Chan to release a soothing pheromone as my own way of extending gratitude. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with my mates over my decision. And given that they were feeling gracious, I decided to allow the events of that evening to fade away into the background as they would with lots of time and healing.

Normalcy was within easy grasp.

“Do you still want pups?”

Jisung’s question made me smile as I turned around in Chan’s lap to face my youngest mate. “Is that what you’re really curious about?”

Jisung blushed but nodded his head. “We mentioned something to Chan.”

I reclined back against Chan’s shoulder. “And what does Chan think?”

“Chan,” my mischievous mate intoned, “would like nothing more than to see our family complete.”

My heart warmed at his words.

“On your next heat,” Changbin grinned, obviously excited by the prospect. 

“That’s soon,” I remarked. “Will it be okay?”

“Now that you’re back, everything is okay,” Chan decided, kissing the top of my head. “The pack will resume as it always has and you’ll still have to deal with three overprotective alpha mates.”

I giggled at his observation because there was a tangible air of excitement surrounding the four of us. A promising future, bright and certain, and we were ready to fully embrace the next chapter in our lives. And as I felt my eyelids grow heavy, listening to the gentle breathing of my alpha mates, I knew we would be ready to face anything as long as we were together.

------------------------------------------------------------

Epilogue

The early morning sun filtered through the Venetian blinds to form a pattern of equivalent stripes against my bedsheets. Normally, I could ignore the way the sunlight infiltrated my line of vision, but my daughter provided a far more compelling alarm system. Her cries always began with faint whines which I might disorientingly miss, but they never lasted long, evolving into noisy cries that demanded attention. Groggily, I sat up against the headboard of my bed, vacantly looking out my open door where I could spot my daughter’s bedroom from across the hallway. With a defeated sigh, having already given up on the possibility of sleeping past noon, I slowly made my way to address my daughter’s grievances.

However, perhaps I had dismissed my sleeping concerns prematurely. “Changbin?” I immediately questioned, surprised to see that my mate had beaten me to my daughter’s assistance.

“She was just hungry,” Changbin replied, cradling Nia delicately in his arms as he held a bottle to her tiny mouth.

“You’re becoming an expert,” I joked, watching the display with a full heart.

“She’s lovely,” Changbin said, pressing a delicate kiss to Nia’s forehead.

“I think you’re her favorite,” I quipped, winking in his direction.

“I don’t know about that,” Changbin said, but the adoration in his gaze was hard to dismiss. “I’ll take her back to sleep with me.”

I nodded my compliance. “I promised Amelia I would help her with dinner preparations in the kitchens. Will you watch Jay and Ren until I get back?”

“Of course,” Changbin easily agreed, distracted by the small purrs Nia released as her eyelids fluttered closed.

-----------------------------------------------------------

“You’re going to make me jealous,” Amelia joked as she listened to me talk animatedly about my new little pups. We were currently shucking corn behind the outside entrance of the kitchens, settling into an easy rhythm as we conversed.

“Hyunjin would love pups,” I grinned, wiping my hands against my jeans.

“I’m thinking about it,” Amelia admitted. “It would be nice if our pups could grow up together.”

“What’s stopping you?” I asked around an exhausted yawn.

“That,” Amelia grinned. “Those pups are a handful.”

“They’re worth it,” I reassured my friend. “It gets better once you find a routine, and my alphas are always around to help.”

“How are they coping with living together?” Amelia asked with a smirk.

“It was hard at first,” I admitted, recalling the way my competitive mates had argued relentlessly when I first found out I was pregnant. They each had their own opinion about what was best for me, and I was always too tired to argue against them. However, I think we could all agree that moving in together was the right decision since it was important for the pups to be around their fathers. And Chan had already started making room in his cabin, expanding from the back to build more bedrooms for the rest of us.

“I bet it makes things easier.”

“Like this morning,” I nodded. “Changbin was already around to watch over the pups. Chan had an early meeting and Jisung was scheduled to lead a patrol.”

“It would only be Hyunjin and me,” Amelia sighed.

“Not true,” I immediately countered. “I would do my best to help.”

“I think you’re my biggest advocate,” Amelia laughed, letting out a relaxed sigh as she stood from her chair. “I think dinner prep is done if you wanna head out for the day.”

“You don’t need my help tonight?”

“I have some extra hands,” Amelia remarked. “Take another day off. You should cherish the time you have with the pups while they’re still young.”

“Why can’t they be young forever?” I pouted.

“You’ll find a lot of memories of watching them grow up,” Amelia pointed out, ever the optimist. I nodded my head vacantly, tidying up our work area before making my way back to my new home.

-----------------------------------------------------------

The cabin was eerily quiet when I finally arrived. I quickly scented the air, noticing that traces of Jisung and Chan hung stale in the room. “Is anyone here?” I wondered aloud, following Changbin’s heavier scent to his bedroom. The sight that awaited me was perfectly enchanting.

Nia was sleeping soundly, curled on top of Changbin as her father’s eyelids drooped, barely able to stay open. “Binnie,” I addressed my mate who offered me a tired yawn. “Where’s Jay and Ren?”

“Jisung,” Changbin slurred, tilting his head to the side when Nia’s tiny nose sought her father’s scent.

“Jisung?” I repeated, amused by Changbin’s obvious exhaustion.

“He took Jay and Ren...” Changbin trailed off, squinting his eyes as he tried to remember. “Maybe an hour ago?”

“Do you need me to take Nia?” I asked, giggling when Changbin’s eyes closed.

“No,” he protested, one hand resting on Nia’s back. “I’m alright.”

“Is that so?” I questioned, perching myself down on the edge of Changbin’s bed.

“Maybe a nap,” Changbin grunted as his free hand curled around mine. “You could lay down with me?”

“I would love to,” I sighed, taking in the image of my only daughter sleeping peacefully. “But I need to find Jay and Ren.”

“I’ll come with you,” Changbin insisted, keeping a firm grip around Nia as he started to rise.

I quickly reached out to press my palm against his chest. “You don’t have to, Binnie, I know you’re tired.”

“We’re all tired,” Changbin responded. “That includes Jisung.”

“Do you know where he went?”

“Backyard,” Changbin said. “Jay and Ren were wired this morning. Jisung thought he could tire them out.”

“That’s impossible,” I snickered, allowing Changbin to wrap his fingers through mine. “Let’s see what trouble he’s got himself into.”

As expected, Jisung could barely keep up with my rowdy boys as they initiated an aggressive play fight against their unsuspecting father. “What a surprise,” Changbin remarked, holding Nia closer as his half-lidded eyes surveyed the chaotic scene.

“Princess,” Jisung called for me, waving in my direction. “Everything is under control.”

I inclined my head to the side, watching as a visibly distraught Felix joined Changbin and me on the porch. “They’ve been doing this for an hour.”

Jisung collapsed to the ground as my sons climbed on top of his chest, ignoring their father’s protests. “Did they wear you out too?”

Felix frowned. “I wish I had that much energy.”

“That’s why Changbin sticks with Nia.”

I grinned as his gentle voice greeted the three of us with a calming familiarity. I watched as Chan joined the disarray, closing the back door firmly behind him. Changbin glanced over at my oldest mate. “I was already with Nia.”

“He’s playing favorites,” Chan whispered in my ear, hands settling against my waist.

“Channie,” I squealed, falling back against his chest as he dug his fingers into my sides.

Nia’s head rose curiously from Changbin’s shoulder to briefly appraise the situation before she nuzzled back into his neck. “You like your daddy’s scent, don’t you?” I cooed to my youngest daughter, aware of the way Changbin’s eyes lit up with pride.

Jisung grunted as he fell back on his ass, groaning when Jay and Ren took advantage of his vulnerable form. “Do you need help?” I asked, watching Jisung struggle to control the hyperactive boys.

“I’ve got this under control, princess,” Jisung assured me even as he frantically fought to contain the boys’ inspirited energy.

“Is that so?” I questioned with amusement.

“You look like you’re having trouble,” Chan remarked, grinning as he knelt down on one knee to encourage Jay and Ren into his arms. The boisterous boys immediately turned their attention to Chan, leaving Jisung to attack a more willing participant.

“Holy shit,” Jisung coughed, slowly propping himself up with his elbows. “What did you feed them?”

“Love and affection,” I cooed, watching the way Chan easily handled both boys, gathering them into his arms.

Jisung slowly stumbled over to our group, expression wary. “I couldn’t get them to stop all morning.”

“It looks like everything’s fine now,” Felix remarked, studying the way Jay and Ren buried their tiny noses into Chan’s neck.

“They haven’t seen him all day!” Jisung protested. “Ya! Felix, I helped make them!”

I rolled my eyes. “Do you have to say it that way?”

“But I did!” Jisung insisted.

“You did fine, Jisung,” Chan said, clearly sensing Jisung’s impending breakdown. “They could all use a nap anyway.”

I reached over to carefully collect Jay into my arms to help ease Chan’s burden. “I think that’s a good idea.”

Jisung sighed loudly. “Thanks to me they’re ready for their nap.”

“Sungie,” I cooed to my mate. “You’re such a good father.”

Jisung brightened immediately, following the rest of us into the house after we extended our thanks to Felix for helping Jisung attempt to control my oldest pups. In the meantime, Chan and I brought Jay and Ren to their bedroom while Changbin and Jisung brought Nia into hers. The four of us had been in agreement that the boys should be separate from our youngest daughter until Chan could build a new bedroom.

“They’re exhausted,” Chan said, brushing back a few wayward strands of Ren’s messy curls.

“Wait until they get older,” I grinned, brushing my fingers across Jay’s chubby cheeks before meeting Chan in the doorway. My oldest mate leaned down to gently press a kiss to my lips.

“We’ll manage.”

“As long as Jisung isn’t solely responsible for babysitting,” I remarked, grabbing ahold of Chan’s hand as I directed us into the living room. Jisung and Changbin were already waiting, occupying two of the armchairs flanking either side of the massive fireplace.

“I need more than one Felix,” Jisung quipped, eyes watching me as I settled on top of Chan’s lap to relax against the sofa.

“You did just fine,” I reassured my mate.

“They’re certainly a handful,” Chan agreed, “but that’s why we have all four of us to handle things.”

“The super team,” Jisung said, nudging Changbin with his foot. “Why are you tired? You’ve been sleeping with Nia all day.”

“I could handle those boys better than you,” Changbin challenged, although there wasn't a single trace of malice in his tone.

Jisung chuckled at Changbin’s playful comment. “When Nia gets older, she’ll want to play more with her brothers.”

“She can handle them,” I quickly added, noticing the worry in Changbin’s eyes.

“We need more girls,” my mate said, looking at me entreatingly.

I glared at Changbin from the corner of my eye. “No more pups.”

Changbin smirked at the stern expression I wore. “Alright, angel.”

Chan’s fingers lightly ghosted across my lips. “Does that mean you’re happy with everything you have?”

I buried my face closer to his chest as I thought about my beautiful pups and my three powerful mates. “I couldn’t be more satisfied.”

The End.

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: March Comes in Like a Lion S2, Episodes 12-13

Accurate depiction of my face right now.

Explosion

There’s only so long you can hold onto a bomb before it finally explodes. When pressure is building and there’s nowhere for it to disperse, the container holding it in is eventually gonna crack open. You can hold it as tightly closed as you want, you can bury it under locks and chains, you can do everything in your power to keep the lid firmly screwed on tight. But if there’s nowhere for the pressure to go, it’s only a matter of time before the stress of holding it makes the entire damn jar shatter into pieces. Sometimes, no matter how hard you true, keeping the peace just isn’t an option. Sometimes, you just have to let the bomb explode and pick up the rubble it leaves behind.

The bomb that’s been building in Hina’s class ever since Chiho was first targeted by bullies has finally gone off.

And the resulting fallout might be the best that Sangatsu no Lion has ever been.

God. God, god, mother of God, son of God, Jesus, Mary, Mother, Braham and Vishnu, GOD. Every time I think this show can’t possibly get better, it proves me wrong yet again. The climax of the bullying arc is one of the most gobsmacking, overwhelming, triumphant, glorious, beautiful, heart-stopping, cathartic, wonderful conclusions to a long-running story arc I think I’ve ever seen. Which only makes sense, because this entire arc has already been one of the greatest things anime has ever done. The story of Hina’s conflict with her bullies, and how Rei’s story intertwines with it, is right up there with the absolute best Gintama arcs. It’s up there with Yoshiwara in Flames. It’s up there with Four Devas. It’s up there with Shogun Assassination. If I’m being honest, it might not even be that far away from the Battle of Rakuyo. NO, I’M NOT JOKING. THAT’S HOW FUCKING GOOD THIS ARC HAS BEEN. It’s been so staggeringly good in so many different ways that I’ve barely been able to keep up with them all. It’s made me tear up more consistently than pretty much any other show, with my eyes leaking at least once every episode. This has been, without question, one of the single best stretches of anime I’ve ever had the honor of experiencing. And the catharsis of its conclusion, building off everything that’s come before, only makes the entire package hit that much harder.

And while I know there’s no way I can possibly do it justice, that’s no excuse not to try. Because if there’s anything this show has taught me, it’s that even the hardest challenges are ones well worth taking.

Nowhere to Hide

It’s clear from the moment Hina’s class returns from the school trip that the explosion is about to happen. Things have escalated too far, and now even the teacher is being targeted for daring to threaten their invisible hierarchy. Everyone’s breaking down, descending into their worst impulses... except for Hina. Because after Rei found her on that riverbank in Kyoto, after he gave her the courage not to be alone, she looks more alive than she’s looked in a while. She’s not lashing out in a desperate rage anymore; now, her rage is targeted. Controlled. Determined. As her classmates’ torment gets worse and worse, she’s only grown stronger and stronger. An unstoppable force is about to meet an immovable object.

And when the dam finally breaks, it bursts open in a flood of biblical proportions.

God almighty, the climactic confrontation in the beginning of episode 12 is fucking incredible. Hina refusing to take Takagi’s whispered gossip any longer and calling her out in front of the whole class? I was already cackling in shock, and we were only just starting. SHE FUCKING BLEW THE WHOLE SITUATION APART. She lashed out and terrified Takagi by almost slugging her, but pulled back just in time because she knew violence would just play into her hands. She intimidated the entire goddamn class into giving her the space to scream. She even stood up to her teacher when she tried to shut her down, refusing to take no for an answer. After so long suffering in the darkness, her problems hidden from the light of day and fermenting in despair, she forced the sunlight to shine on them and sear them with its disinfecting blaze. She smashed it so far apart that even her broken, cowardly teacher finally snapped, lashing out with years of repressed anger that rolls and spills like a fucking hurricane. Jesus Christ on a cracker, I was outright hyperventilating at this point. The way her teacher explodes her, the words pouring faster and faster, her attempts to keep the peace sloughing away in an unstoppable black tide of all the reprimands and cutting fury she should have been weaponizing from the beginning (”How do you have this much free time to torment your classmates?”), roaring and spilling until the entire classroom is swept away in the flow... there are no words. There are no words to capture just how fucking stunning this was to see. Not even a full-half episode had passed and I was already a fucking wreck. It finally happened. The walls finally came tumbling down. This festering rot that had been poisoning this class for so long was finally dragged out of hiding.

And with nowhere left to hide from it... the school has no choice but to finally face its reckoning.

Teacher’s Pet

Thus enters head teacher Mr. Kokubu, taking control over Hina’s class after their previous teacher has to be hospitalized for the anxiety this whole situation brings out of her. And good fucking lord, as if Mr. Hayashida wasn’t enough, Sangatsu has the balls to give us two of the best fucking teachers in anime history. The moment he first shows up and tells the class that this trouble interfering with their entrance exam prep is the price they pay for ignoring the obvious ticking time bomb in their midst, I knew we were in good hands. It’s really fucking amazing how quickly he’s able to take control of the situation; when you’ve got an adult who actually cares at the helm, all those seemingly insurmountable problems become so much dust in the wind. Hina’s previous teacher was broken down by years of seeing this exact same scene play out over and over again. Class after class, one of her students was excluded and bullied, Class after class, the same bad actors poisoned everyone in the community. It all become so overwhelming that she finally lost the courage to even try to fix things, retreating into her shell in hopes that she’d never have to deal with it again. And, well, we just saw how well that worked out for her. You can only hide from the issues under your nose so long before they reach up and choke you to death.

But Mr. Kokubu? Mr. Kokubu gets it. He gets how hard it is to teach and raise children in such a volatile environment. He gets that if you’re not prepared to genuinely be there for your kids, no matter how difficult it way me, then you’re not cut out to be a teacher. He gets that when it comes to bullying, the pressure on everyone involved is so extreme that you can’t just take a lack of solid proof as evidence that nothing happened. He gets that in these cases, the only proof worth considering is proof of the accuser lying, because otherwise it’s far too easy for bullies to get off scott-free. He gets that even after the bully in question says sorry, it takes more than empty words to constitute a genuine apology. He gets that no matter what pressures a kid’s dealing with, there’s no excuse for them to turn that pressure outward and hurt their classmates with no reason (”Keep this up and I’ll start talking about my childhood!”) But he also gets that even Takagi, as much as she’s hurt people, deserves a chance to understand why her actions were wrong and try to be better. It is so fucking hard to balance all that necessary compassion and justice, and it’s clear Mr. Kokubu still has doubts about how much he’ll be able to accomplish. But he’s here to try regardless, because that’s what it means to be a teacher. And hell, after spending so much time  being the World’s Worst Dad as Gendo Ikari and running into the worst possible luck as Hasegawa (yes, they share the same VA), he deserves a chance to let his best self shine through.

A True Apology

But what I truly love about Kokubu’s presence in these episodes is that he finally, finally takes the pressure off Hina. Hina’s had to deal with so much bullshit over the course of this arc, and she’s had to bear the brunt of it herself. No middle school kid should have to deal with all this angst just because the adults who should be helping would rather turn a blind eye. And frankly, I don’t blame her one second for not wanting to forgive her tormentors. There’s a world of difference between redemption and forgiveness; even if someone’s able to repair the damage they’ve done, they can’t always mend bridges they burned down. Hina’s got no obligation to forgive Takagi, or any of her enablers, for the hell they’ve put her through. All the hard work of making sure they’ve learned their lesson doesn’t need to fall on her shoulders. That’s what adults are for; to handle all the impossible problems that kids aren’t equipped to deal with.

But with that load finally off her shoulders, with the perpetrators stopped in place, the tension broken, and the cracked wounds finally starting to heal... Hina’s free. She’s finally free from the pain she’s been put through. She’s finally free from this unfair, unjust struggle she’s had to fight far too hard for. She’s finally free to start healing, to reconnect with herself, to leave the past months of suffering behind and start glowing once more. Hina won. She won. She survived the storm and came out the other side still shining bright. And folks, I just fucking lost it. I was crying pretty much nonstop throughout the entire second half of episode 13. From the moment her lost friend Chiho sent her a letter, re-connecting with her and re-establishing the bond this trial broke in the first place, I was a goner. They’re repairing what was broken. They’re restoring the joy they used to had. Even with everything they’ve gone through, they still have the kindness to keep living. But even that was nothing compared to how hard I started sobbing when some of her former tormentors finally apologized to her. God, that was incredible. That’s what it truly looks like to say “I’m sorry,” taking responsibility for what you’ve done and reaching out to try and make things better. And while Hina’s not obligated to forgive any of them, that doesn’t mean forgiveness isn’t worth a shot for some of them. So what if the cookies they all made together turned out gross? There’s nothing more delicious than the happiness that came from making them in the first place.

Mother, Mother

And that’s what I love so much about this arc; Hina’s victory was both entirely hers and also the product of everyone helping her. She put in so much energy, showed so much courage in standing against the darkness in her class, a shining light refusing to yield no matter how badly the winds stung her. But she’d never have mad it that far if it weren’t for all the incredible people in her life giving her the courage to do so. It’s a distilled essence of this show’s entire thesis: helping yourself and helping others are the same thing. No one can face life alone, but no one can face life as anyone other than themself either. It’s through the communities we form and the bonds we share that we gain the strength to stand on our own two feet, and to return the kindness we’ve been shown when the people we love need it just as much. And rarely has that ethos shined as brightly as it does with Akari in episode 12. I just about burst out into tears when she dreamed about her mother in the hospital, their final shared promise that Akari would take care of the kids in her absence. She’s carried so much on her shoulders ever since then, too much for one woman to bear. But through her bond with Hina, we see the full force of that promise made manifest. She takes Hina out shopping to all the food vendors rather than let her brood on an empty stomach. She promises her she’ll be with her every step of the way. It’s a show of courage and kindness so palpable you can feel it practically burning through the screen. Akari’s in over her head, with no idea how to do this right. But she’s here for Hina. She won’t let her be alone in this trial. And that’s the greatest gift she could possibly give.

But it’s also the greatest gift she could possibly receive. When they confront Takagi’s mother in school and the argument goes sour, it’s one of the most crushing moments of despair in the entire school. Akari is frozen with horror, no knowing what direction to turn. After all her promises, her determination to take her mother’s place for her sisters is dragging her down, down, down. But then, who else should save her but the girl she was trying so hard to protect. In the end, it’s Hina who saves Akari that day. It’s Hina who holds her when she’s crying and promises her that everything’s gonna be alright. Because Akari’s already fulfilled her promise a million times over. She’s raised Hina, she’s cared for her, she’s been by her side when she’s needed her the most. And now, Hina’s ready to return that kindness right back to her. To promise her that the courage Akari give her won’t be in vain. She’ll survive. She’ll fight on. She won’t bother wasting her life on the worst people in it. She���ll take what life has to offer, all the good and bad, until she’s able to graduate and make a fresh start, with new, better memories ahead of her.

Because Hina Kawamoto is strong enough to face it. She is kind enough to face it. She’s the girl who never backed down, never gave up, never lost faith in everything she was fighting so hard for. She’s the girl who’s stood against the darkness of the world and screamed it down too many times to count. She’s the girl who’s broken through so much pain, so much sorrow, with nothing but simple acts of radical empathy. She’s the girl who deserves every ounce of that empathy that’s been returned to her. She’s the girl whose courage had made me sob too many times to count at this point. She is nothing more or less than one of my favorite anime characters of all time. Yes, I’m absolutely comfortable saying that now; after everything she’s given to me, how could she be anything but?

And after all is said and done... after all the dust has finally settled... there’s one more person who needs her helping hand once more.

Light

Yes, it was not lost on me that Rei was pretty much absent from Hina’s big triumph. From the moment she called Takagi out in class to the moment Chiho sent that letter, this triumph was for her. She’s the one who stood up and brought the house crashing down, who exposed everything until it could no longer be hidden away, who finally broke the stranglehold that’s been choking her class to death. And looking in from the outside, Rei can only feel ashamed of himself. After everything he promised her, after his gallant oath that he would pay back the kindness she showed him, where was he when she needed him the most? Where was he at this crucial moment? Where was he all throughout this painful process? He promised to help her, but he couldn’t do anything. He could only watch from a distance as she sorted everything out, pushing through hardship after hardship he had to way to help solve. What right could he possibly have to bask in her newfound glow once more?

The answer, of course, is every right in the world.

Because what Rei didn’t realize- what Hina finally makes him realize- is that he gave her the greatest help imaginable: he was there. He was there to be a shoulder to lean on when the pressure became too hard to bear. He was there to listen to her problems and give her someone to talk to. He was there when she was in despair in Kyoto and pulled her out of her sorrow. He was there every step of the way, giving her all the courage he never thought he’d be capable of giving, returning every ounce of kindness and happiness she first gave him. He has nothing to apologize for, nothing to regret, nothing to take himself to task for because he didn’t do enough. Because all he did- all he had to do- was everything he possibly could. And it was everything Hina could have possibly needed.

And as she pulls him out of his despair, tears glistening in her eyes, holding fast to everything he’s done for her, biting his finger to shake him out of his stupor, facing down his inner darkness with the same blinding, unshakable radiance he helped her hold fast to... she starts walking at last. One foot in front of the other. Holding Rei’s hand tightly every step of the way. Spinning and dancing as she goes to share her newfound joy. Bringing light and motion back into Rei’s life for every ounce of it he just gave her.

Because they deserve everything they could possibly offer each other.

Because they deserve to help each other find happiness again and again.

Because they deserve to be the helping hands that pull each other along.

And as the sun’s light shines down brighter and more tender than ever before... two dear friends walk forward into the future together.

This, folks, is my new favorite scene of the entire show. Better than anything in the first season. Better than anything from episode 4. Better than anything else in the ten transcendent episodes this arc has lasted. It’s the pinnacle of joy itself, the most beautiful ending to this incredible story I could possibly ask for. It’s every single reason I love this show distilled into a single, utterly breathtaking moment of sheer bliss. I don’t know how I managed to stop crying by the time it was done. I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve cried so hard, so often, so regularly. I don’t know how this show keeps astounding me again and again, in ways so special and raw I can never forget them. And I don’t know how there’s still nine episodes left to fall in love all over again.

But there’s one thing I do know: Sangatsu no Lion is one of my favorite fictional properties of all time.

It is everything I could possibly ask it to be.

And I can’t wait to see what else it’s still got in store.

Odds and Ends

-”Have you been having honest conversations with your daughter?!” MOM AKARI IS POPPING OFF

-Oh, this new ED is amazing.

-Have I mentioned how beautiful this show is? Because Rei watching Hina sleep int he sunlight is beautiful.

-”I can’t believe I fell asleep on her doorstep.” aksjdhsd you utter dork

I love this show. I love you all. Here’s to what’s still to come... next time.

[ovyy-pvcure]

Things I wish were better pt 1: Midoriya and Bakugou alone

hashbrowncatsandketchup

replied to your

post

:

No one asked but my top 4(5?) list of things about...

Expansion you say??? ������ gimme deets op i love analysis like this and agree with every point

I can always count on you to enable me. Before we begin these criticisms come from a place of love. I like this manga and wish it was better. @nanininni235

1) Midoriya is a boring protagonist. On a personal level Midoriya has seen almost no growth whatsoever. Near the start of the series he reclaimed Bakugou’s insult towards him, and in the Apprentice Arc he finally started to come to terms that it was ‘his power’. Then his development as a person just kind of...stops. Not that Midoriya has a lot of baggage or personality flaws to overcome that Hori ever wants to focus on anyway. 

 Personality-wise there’s little to hate of Midoriya as he’s sweet earnest and accepting with few bad words for anyone...because he has no opinions or values beyond wanting to be a hero. You can make Midoriya mad in the short-term but he never holds a grudge against anyone. Not his childhood bullies or the system and teachers that enabled them. Not Endeavor who betrayed the public’s trust and ruined the lives of his family on a personal quest for glory in a flawed system. Not Sir Nighteye who poked at his vulnerabilities regarding OFA and was unfair to him from moment one.

Midoriya wants to be a public hero like All Might but still has difficulty leading in non-stress situations and we can almost forget talking to girls, strangers, the media, ...strange girls. This is a massive character flaw that directly stands between him and his dream of being the ‘#1 Hero’  but it's used for comedy rather than treated as the giant stumbling block that it is despite UA having an entire course and class dedicated to PR. This despite what happened to Yaoyoruzu during her own Apprenticeship of which we’ll discuss more in part 5. Instead, all of Midoriya’s serious hero training is focused on ‘how punch better’ despite that being established as a thing Midoriya is already working on making these latter sections a much better chance to focus on other areas in which Midoriya is still far from his dream. 

Bafflingly Hori even wrote himself into and then neatly out-of forcing Midoriya out of his comfort zone in a way that would force him to confront this and make him an actual ‘leader of his class’ beyond him generically working hard (something we never see him doing beyond the level of his classmates and I’ll get to that). Midoriya was elected class president on the back of his showing in the entrance exam -his raw power and natural inclination towards heroism- as opposed to his ability to be charismatic or even speak with new people. Midoriya’s nervous disposition and fear of strangers makes a poor first impression with the class and vice-president Yaoyurozu  

This situation is not solved by Midoriya having to interact with his classmates-at this point total strangers- and slowly earning the approval of the ones who didn’t vote for him. Taking his noted organizational skills and putting them to use earning respect for his diligence from his new colleague. Meeting his peers from other classes/courses and getting an inside view into how these other sections of the school are doing as he slowly networks inside the future hero industry he wants to be at the forefront of. Instead, our protagonist cedes his position to Iida - already a confident taciturn natural leader-within mere hours before we even see him try. Over his vice-president without telling her. 

Even Midoriya’s stated strengths of intelligence and strategy have gone underutilized as his enforced passivity leads to a lot of flashes of convenient insight (looking at Stain here specifically) over time spent analyzing bigger problems including his own difficulties controlling his Quirk the way he's shown to do for his classmates. Solo conflicts and Midoriya’s strength inducing quirk fail to use the abilities he already had and there’s no time spent reinforcing those abilities on screen either. Thus, we circle back around to the ‘how punch better’ problem from before where Midoriya’s growth as a character (and followingly as a person) is tied entirely into his Quirk....just like society says it should be. 

Even outside his role of future hero, Midoriya is paper-thin he’s a hero otaku and nothing else -as indicated by his room- but even then only on paper. Midoriya doesn’t reference the hero strategies’ he's spent years observing and categorizing (in 13 notebooks) for his plans after getting his quirk. He doesn’t run around wearing hero merch outside of All Might gear. We don’t see or hear of him on hero forums. He didn’t know about Sir Nighteye or David Shield. He knew about Eraserhead but not All Might’s former sidekick.

Midoriya suffered a decade of physical and mental abuse from everyone including his teachers for his Quirkless status as a direct result of how Heros and powerful quirks are idolized within society over personality and merit. Despite suffering from his ‘outsider’ status for the majority of his life and watching his friend become twisted because he could no wrong as no one wanted to ‘ruin his future’ Midoriya shows no resentment towards the system or the people who unflinchingly follow it. This, along with many other instances of a broken system turning out broken people -Shouto, Shinso-affect Midoriya’s outlook on hero society all of nothing. He has brief moments of reflection on the state of affairs but little impetus or stated desire to change how things are done despite the manga making it clear that that’s something that needs to happen.

Midoriya spends no time reflecting on how he wants to be the ‘can-do’ hero despite the fact that he couldn’t. With Hero society’s focus on flashy quirks and big fights even if Midoriya had applied himself with physical training on top of his analysis work without All Might granting him a Quirk Midoriya literally could not ever have followed his dream. And his Quirk grows more powerful his rise is less due to inventive use of his power and more the sheer scale of it. 

Youtuber Explanation Point made a video about why Hero Aca’s simple characterization works, and I agree. However almost 300 chapters into the manga we should have a more nuanced view of our main character’s world view, how he interacts with the world around him, and what he wants to enact on the world. 

2) Bakugou is coddled by the narrative. Let me start by defining that: The narrative often warps around Bakugou’s character. Be it characters shilling his tiniest acts of decency into huge moments of growth or illogically putting up with his attitude as he treats them like dirt. Bakugou’s pivotal moment of growth is mostly part 3 material but it's spent placating him and enforcing who he is rather than trying to change his negative aspects. 

A huge problem with Bakugou’s writing is how his own actions often lead him into negative situations but a lack of self-reflection on his or the narrative’s part cripples his growth.  Let’s go through this chronologically: Bakugou is attacked by the Slime Villian because he’s all alone because he chased away his lackeys because they suggested that maybe telling Midoriya to kill himself was crossing a line. Bakugou will continue to be an anti-social jerk who refuses to take criticism without ever acknowledging this. Bakugou continuously makes an ass of himself in front of his new class because he’s still acting like the big fish in a little pond, but doesn’t suffer from ostracization and is only lightly teased even while he’s actively making the class enemies in the Sports Festival Arc. [Expanded in point 4] Bakugou completely fails against Kurogiri and makes everything worse only to turn around have a plan instantly and save the day that wouldn’t have needed saving if not for him messing things up in the first place. Yes, Kirishima also messed up but Kiri admits to being wrong while Bakugou does not. 

Bakugou getting kidnapped is not his fault. This is an accurate statement of fact. Bakugou screaming at the top of his lungs, and acting like a rabid dog on Live TV is his fault. The kidnapping was a direct result of the tantrum but this should have already been addressed by his teachers as such unprofessional behavior is all Bakugou’s shown the world since he stepped on the pulpit at the beginning of the arc. Mr. Compress manages to slip through the gang’s defensive formation and steals away Bakugou and Tokoyami, which does nothing to further Bakugou’s arc. The villain’s kidnapping should be the culmination of Bakugou's mistakes and character flaws in the first part of the series that have been noticed and addressed by the people who should be mentoring him. Had Bakugou objected to being “look down on”-like with Midoriya- and ran off to fight the villains on his own despite warning -like with 13- his ensuing capture-like the Slime Villain-would have hit harder as then his getting kidnapped could be once again laid at the feet of his anti-social loner attitude. As it stands Bakugou’s breakdown is entirely self-inflicted as prior no one was blaming or criticizing him for his actions on-screen. 

Bakugou fails the license exam, but we’re never given an explicit reason as the only thing we see is a couple of examiners twisting Bakugou’s utterly callous words into a positive. For Bakugou’s failure here to count we need to see him fail not to be arbitrarily praised for things he clearly wasn’t thinking about.