#and hungover lol i did so much ket

[the-feral-fa1ry]

All readi to get headi with yheti!!! 🖤🖤🖤

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary311

7/26-27/24

friday - saturday

uhmm,,, out way too late today...

so i just need to sleep. but it was a great day, showgirls was so fun and beautiful and so much everything a really perfect film basically about how evil men are and how much they hate women and how it really plays with that, for so much of the film, and then rips the floor out from beneath you at a point, making you contend with it, and that's like, so much!! and that it still has the heart to give nomi some kind of happiness at the end, that is very sweet of it.

it's interesting how it uses the pornographic gaze in this totally abject and grotesque, when nomi sucks zach's dick submerged under water, someone trying to live, to the fullest extent, for male fantasies and i suppose "succeeding" by perfectly doing so, but you're exposed constantly to the nightmare of that as well, all the pressure, and then you have all the lesbian stuff, the camp in all of this, the acting which is very special, idk, it's such a great thing, and there really is such genuine beauty within it, some of the shots, the acting too, there's this point where james, the dancer guy who wants to do some number with nomi but is really this pickup artist type guy, he expresses all this regret, he says this pithy callback to this thing he says earlier in the movie, and then after, the facade drops, what he says is a total put on but after that you see this like expression crawl over his face, this thing happens, inside that face is:

oh god, i wish it weren't so.

"it" being "every single little thing."

and to capture the facade people put up, their attempts to be characters in this awful city, to be facile entirely, and then that failure to keep up with that, that's powerful, to get at that is crazy to me!!

anyway, my gf did get super wasted, her friend went on a date after the movie and came back to hang out with us, which was awesome, out mutual friend did a bit too much ketamine and k holed and when i came upstairs in the club to see him on some slightly moist couch, he grabbed my legs and hugged me because he was so happy to see a friendly face, and then his friend who is also our friend and now maybe going to sleep w/ my gf's friend who is all our friend now, came up, and i danced with him a lot because he seems to really like dancing with me, i think he likes how kind of bad i am at it, or maybe he just really likes me. my gf thinks he kind of likes me but he's honestly rather kind, he's a very strange guy, but you really can feel how much kindness there is, the dancing is one place you can sense it, where he's really teaching you steps, and keeps saying he likes how you dance even if you're not good, a lot of patience and happiness just in the moment.

the people in the club were really kind to us also, always checking in on my super wasted gf, who was really going crazy over her favorite kpop bandmember from ateez, it's so funny. it is pretty cute, honestly. we also saw someone we knew outside the club which was funny. but for a lot of the time we were sitting on a weird musty couch.

anyway i did take selfies but i'll upload them 2morrow, i have to wake up kinda early to get out tomorrow, we've gotta go to another movie, maybe gonna hang out again tomorrow too #lol. our friend who did ket is gonna go to the movie w/ my gf + her mom + brother and that'll be crayzeee, her brother will probably pissed at us for having a good time, and say we aren't able to appreciate wolverine cuz we're all tired or hungover. i mean i won't be hungover. and i'll probably need to get coffee or somethinggg.... bleh. coffee makes me crazy!!! it's too much for my little tiny dumb nerves.

here's a song, i am listening to now:

always a favorite, crazy how consistent a band they are.

so, with that:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!