#and how we both had a dbh phase

[gray-ace-space]

For the "this acespec thinks x character is hot"

This gray-ace thinks Connor from Detroit: Become Human is hot

this gray ace thinks connor from detroit: become human is 🔥hot🔥

[yellowocaballero]

Anyway.

How many works do you have on AO3? 54. Hm. I don't remember writing 54 fics. That's weird. But I've been posting since 2017 so when you THINK about it 54 fics over 7 years isn't weird at all.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 2.4 million. What's your point.

What fandoms do you write for? A fuckton. I write both things I'm hyperfixated on and for random shit that comes in my head. I was into TMA for like two years so I have the most TMA fic (16), but most of my fandoms are 3-5 fics maximum. There's also a lot of random-ass fics for random-ass fandoms that just jumped in my head. Artemis Fowl, Beetlejuice, Animorphs...demons that overtook me for two weeks or so and never bothered me again.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? The Great Gender Heist (Artemis Fowl, no surprise there.), stay out of trouble (Detroit: Become Human, I reliably forget that one exists and I'm still mystefied as to why so many people read it), meek shall inherit (I'm constantly attempting to forget the Be More Chill phase ever happened), someone will remember us (Batman, fic's not great, am still very fond of that au) and dead or alive (DBH, mediocre). Why the hell are the two Detroit: Become Human fics so popular? I hate DBH so much. I was so angry while writing those.

Do you respond to comments? I am absolutely terrible about responding to comments. I am sorry. I do read and appreciate all of them. It's because I always need to give a dialectical so comments take ages to write. If you do want to hear my thoughts on something, my inbox is your best bet for a way too lengthy response.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hope, Etc for certain. I try really hard to write bittersweet at worst endings, and even the sad endings in my fics have hope in them. Hope, Etc definitely ends in a better place than where it began. But it's still very sad. I was thinking about a lot of lost loved ones while writing it. Fishhooks and reel to reel also have downer endings but that is because they are LITERALLY Star Wars.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhh. The ending of Solitaire (and the MLM/WLW hostility series in general) is very sweet. It's meaningful because it demonstrates so much growth from everybody with very little cost. I almost said Go Straight At The Cul De Sac, because it showcases a happier world where horrible historical events were averted, but the ending will always be a little bittersweet because we understand how much Protag sacrificed to create that better world.

Do you get hate on fics? Sometimes people are kind of weird. The worst of it is usually just useless comments, though. I had somebody get pedantic about how briefly mentioning an SUV would be historically inaccurate, and how I should have mentioned a minivan instead - like, did you read that fic and think I was from the suburbs? Do I look like I know what a minivan is? Lol? If I've received any actual more severe stuff I have no idea, since I delete the comment and delete it from my memory. I've never gotten anything too bad. I've been called ablest like three times, which is objectively hilarious.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? If I could write smut I'd be making bank on Kindle Unlimited right now.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Probably the FE3H/BNHA one I'm writing right now that will never see the light of day. Just kidding. I don't actually think I've posted any real crossovers - I DO write them, I just kind of feel like they're cringe so I never post them. I write a lot of cringe shit that never sees the light of day.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not nearly popular enough for that.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Several people have mentioned wanting to do that, but nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not technically. But I do want to give due honors to all of the friends who are SO instrumental in the building of the AUs, stories, characters, etc, that they've had a huge impact on the story itself. I try to recognize them by name in the fics themselves but my stories would look completely different if it wasn't for my friends. Definitely much worse.

What’s your all time favorite ship? I'll differentiate favorite ships and favorite fictional romances. For ships, it's much less about the ship and more about the role in the story. I tend not to pay a lot of attention to that while writing, but sometimes I get lost in my own sauce and I drive myself a bit nuts. I am very fond of Hanyookim, especially in my own ORV story. For romances? My top ten list of fictional romances is as follows: number one: naturally, Sasunaru -

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? If it's up on AO3, it's done (with one or two very small exceptions - The Ending of Han Sooyoung epilogue I'll get to you I PROMISE). There's plenty of unfinished docs on my drive that I'll never finish, but that's because I decided that they weren't worth finishing.

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and characterization. That's always been the case. I'm also pretty funny.

What are your writing weaknesses? Plotting. Action. Having stories that are not entirely dialogue. Where things happen and it's more than just people walking around talking. You know. Real stories -

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Always valid. I remember reading one Hispanic author talking about how he doesn't like italicizing the Spanish in his stories because it's otherizing, and I agreed enough with him that I don't tend to italicize other languages either. Sometimes I do. I try to do it purposefully, and to convey something that can only be conveyed through the extra language. I'll also only do it if I can have a friend who speaks that language write it out for me, since gtranslate sucks and I want to ask the friend how such a thing would actually be said and colloquialize it. I like using ASL in fics, and I am just in general begging people to a) write it like any other language, and b) understand that it's different from other languages and can't be written exactly the same. If your Star Wars fanfiction has so much gratuitous Mando'a that I can't understand anything the clones or Mandos are saying I hate you.

First fandom you wrote for? Batman Beyond. Yes, I have a FFN account somewhere. Yes, I was eleven. Yes, it was Batman Beyond.

Favorite fic you’ve written? The best thing I've written is Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge. Favorite is New Wave. That sucker took two years to write (INSANELY long for me) and it is exactly the story I wanted to write. Stephanie's a character I've been writing since I was 15, and the feeling of writing Stephanie and NAILING her for the very first time was so satisfying.

Tagging @usaigi and uh any other writer mutuals you all know who you are.

[a-xii]

My 'Detroit: Become human' phase is back so it's time for my thoughts.

I recently played dbh again and this time I focused more on markus.

Markus wasn't my favorite character before but now I'm older, more mature and finally have good taste.

When I went through the game for the first time I perceived the relationship between markus and carl as father and son. that's it. But now that I've played again I've noticed that it's not quite like that after all.

Yes Carl was always good to Markus and treated him like a friend and son, but I bet he was well aware that Markus "doesn't feel it".

For pre-deviant Markus, Carl was first and foremost his master. It is only deviant Markus who calls him 'dad' and sees what pre-deviant Markus did not pay attention to through his program.

I have a feeling that Carl may not have liked this master and slave relationship. After all, in the game we can see Carl trying to encourage Markus to do more like human things. he often asks him for his opinion on a specific topic, knowing that Markus' answer will probably be limited by his program.

Still, Carl was keenly aware that once Markus became more like a human, there would be no turning back. He would no longer be his domestic help. He will see more and feel more.

In fact, we see the real father and son relationship only at the end, when Markus returns to Carl's after attack on Jericho. Only then does Carl see him fully as a living being, unlimited by the program, and his son.

Carl knew that until Markus became a deviant there was no way he could even hope for Markus to see him as his father. Often in their scenes together you can see Markus smiling at Carl, but as soon as he turns away from him he adopts a neutral expression. I'm sure Carl also paid attention to this and recognized that he was unfortunately not dealing with a real human being, but a machine that is his slave.

When Markus finally breaks through his programming Carl sees in him who he always wanted to see in him.

Depending on the player's choice, Carl can see it dying or after Leo has been injured. In the latter, Carl is not even angry at Markus for what he did. He is frightened that he could lose both of his sons in that moment. He tells Markus to run away because they will kill him. (In the language version I played it sounded a bit more aggressive than in the original, which puzzles me a bit, so here I could be wrong lmao)

From what we can see in the game Carl has always tried to show Markus that how androids are treated by humans is unfair and he can change that. I think that if Carl hadn't "rised him" in this way Markus would have had more trouble breaking the software. In the game we could see Markus being attacked by protesters. More than once he was probably also attacked (I'm guessing mostly verbally) by Leo. The only thing these scenes differed in was that Carl in the scene in the studio forbade Markus to defend himself. This "order" went against everything Carl kept telling him.

Everyone rather knows why Carl ordered him to do so. After all, Markus is an android who could easily kill Leo. However, this was something inconsistent with what he taught him. Carl kept saying that such behavior was unfair and suddenly expected the same from Markus.

Did Carl do wrong at the time? this is quite a difficult question.

We know one thing, probably if not for this Markus would have continued to remain a machine. After all, we have seen leo's verbal attacks on markus before and he never looked like he wanted to do anything to him or treat him the same way. he was always calm and composed.

Maybe the very fact that Markus was then treated like a machine by someone who had always treated him like a human (or almost human) made him able to break his program.

Markus is a really interesting character.

And yes, I know it's just a simple game and most of what I wrote are just theories, because the game only shows a few days in the life of three androids.

I just like to analyze such things, and maybe someone had similar thoughts.

I also know that probably the creators didn't even think about it and it's just a loophole in the plot.

btw as now I returned to dbh I can write ff with characters from this game(Hank only platonically sorry), so if you want you can ask and I will try to write something interesting

[fandom-necromancer]

Questions for you (if you're ok answering): what is your favorite fic that you've written and what is your favorite that you've read of somebody else's

Okay, first of all: I love getting questions! I just tend to overshare so I hope that’s okay XD That’s a hard one, though. For one because I have a shit memory, but also because there are so many and I can’t decide. So, this will likely get long and I’ll put it under the cut not to disturb people that aren’t interested!

Shorts

My favourite one I wrote lately was likely the Cyberpunk AU for the Secret Santa? Because I could write whatever I wanted really and it was the first one in a long, long time that I sat down, had no idea what to write, began writing, was sucked in and a few hours later I was sitting there with a story that I absolutely loved. And that has become such a rare occasion lately because nothing is really fun anymore because Corona keeps me in a constant down phase? Idk. That was cool.

Also, the “A little distraction” series was fun! It’s an old story from last year and when I reuploaded that one, I was blown away how many people wanted more of that. As this had been planned for a longer story initially I had to condense into a short, it made me happy too, because people would have liked to read the longer version too, maybe? If I had ever written it? It was just really cool.

The Halloween short with Gavin being an eldritch shadow monster most people overlook completely was fun also because of the same reason as the Cyberpunk AU. I got lost in that one so hard. Really fun to write.

My all-time favourite short story  though is likely the pebble series. It started as a joke in my head but when I sat down to write it, it just felt natural. I kinda really projected on Nines in there and I think I like his personality there the most from all the fics I’ve written about him. They are both just really cute in there.

You can also look for the top ten stories in my opinion from last year’s anniversary if you search my blog in the tag #One Year of Stories and I think the real tag was something like #Last year revisited? I’m not sure though because tumblr and searching blog tags is horrible, hence the archive project XD. Should be around June 2020.

Big stories

I would say A Soldiers Purpose, but that doesn’t count as it isn’t a fic anymore while I rewrite it to be an original Story. Plan to publish that as a “real world” book in German and English hard copy as well as eBook and it should be international publishing? I’m not that sure as I’m still comparing self-publishers and some only serve Germany, US and Australia whats weird but okay. Although I believe with ISBN it should be available almost everywhere just not in stores? I always planned to have it ready before I finished my bachelor thesis but we will see if that is happening (I guess not but I will try). 

The Werewolf AU, definitely. It started as a vent fic to get me out of a really bad place (I guess anyone who read Somebody to die for knows it’s pretty dark) and I mean I’m here now and while I’m not happy I’m definitely happier than when I wrote it so... win? But now that I’m writing Wolfheart I really want to give them a happy ending and hopefully once that story ends the whole personal reason I started writing it ends too, so yeah. Maybe a really personal reason but I’m really invested in that story.

My favourite fic I have ever, ever written though will be one you never get to read (thankfully, hopefully). It’s super old, it’s German, it’s uploaded on a different platform I hope no one of you knows, it’s under yet another name of mine and it’s absolutely objectively bad. The writing is bad, the plot is okayish and I literally killed off the gay characters without noticing that as something bad because I was a very different person back then. But I love it to this day regardless because it got me through some hard times.

Also, as a last comment to my own stories I love my longer stories on AO3 far more than these shorts. Not because they are more fun to write or anything but because I feel like I put a lot of effort into them and put a lot of soul into the stories. But yeah, that’s to that.

Other’s works

My favourite fics I read are so, so damn many… I generally write more than I read but with the amount I write I guess it cancels it out. Also some are pretty old because I mostly read fanfic on the bus and now I haven’t really left the house for a year. I’ll try to keep it short. They are not in any particular order I just went through a few sites of my history. Really I just enjoy everything reverseAU, SoulmateAU, Mute!Nines and them all being softies. Also just the dbh stuff because I’m not sure you would be interested in other fandoms.

Accident by sv926 Soulmate AU, I really dig how the personality of Nines and Gavin are displayed and that it isn’t a “We are soulmates all is perfect now” storyline (although I like that too). Amazing.

Traitor by Skye_Willows, Stujet9rainshine If hurt/comfort was a fic. MedieavalAU. I really love the portrayal of manipulation and how Nines tries to save Gavin from it all. Also Nines is a painter so I’m in.

Soft Spot by Headfulloffantasy A story I really regret not reading earlier. Casefic with amazing characterisation and a plot that leaves you on the edge. Every time you think you got an overview of what happened or an idea of how it continues there is another facette revealed that you just didn’t expect. Can’t wait to read the next chapter.

XVIII by Sandara Cuteness overload but also prepare for the feels. It’s an ReverseAU that is set during the game events. It’s so damn well written I just love it.

Feral Nines by Kaini Nines whump. Kinda. I love it so much. Broken Nines is my weakness and also Mute!Nines. You get a lot of feelings reading this.

all the lonely nights in your life by  willgrahamssadness SoulmateAU that hurts but picks you up and shows you all the fluff in the end. I love it.

Safe and sound by a_calipygian Soft Reed900. With a lot of hurt/comfort. Lovely story about healing and found family. 

The Lion Tamer by celexdraw Equally cute as their drawings. CircusAU I didn’t know I needed but it is so well done. It is a happy story but has enough darkness to make me miss my busstop.

Despite it All by Jennilah Another SoulmateAU I absolutely love. Also has Hannor content I think but I didnt get to read that part yet.

Scrapyard Rookie by Pence Reverse AU that caught my heart. Really cute but with a little bastard GV if I remember correctly.

Sleeves by BloodthirstyMerc More Mute!Nines talking about Gavin’s past self harm. Super cute and comforting and aaaaa.

These Violent Delights by MechanicalBones Will absolutely destroy you. Is amazing and everything I ever wanted. Can recommend to those who too enjoy holding back tears on the bus.

Static Truth and Hunter Hunter Hunted by whatsanapocalae Both are super cute, super angsty and so, so comforting. The author has a really nice writing style too. Got to these fics because i wrote their Deus Ex stuff and discovered they write dbh too.

Rewind the Film by connorssock,Sylvestia Allen60. You will cry. And you will like it. I’m happy it was like 11pm on a bus  no one uses coming home from uni when I came to the part that hits you right in the feels. You have to read it.

Heavy In Your Arms by CatiDono More ReverseAU with Gavin whump. It’s also kinda a reset story. I usually don’t like these, but it starts after the reset so we never get to see the Gavin from before, just the onset of “I used to be a person before and there is someone loving me and grieving but I don’t know them but they are nice what do I do?” I really enjoyed this, although it’s kinda a heavy thing to read.

A mute Gavin one I can’t remember who or where it was from. I think it was on tumblr and timewise before the cornpocalypse but I’m not sure. Could be from connorssock? definitely on tumblr and Gavin lost his voice due to injury. I will try to find that again.

Also one from tumblr I can’t remember the name of, but it was homeless Gavin with Nines helping him. I think that one was from dumb-ways-to-deviate?

I could go on, but I already told far to much when you asked for like... 2 stories? I’m just excited to talk about stories XD

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

What you said about Cullen and writing resonates with me a lot. I went through a phase where I thought to write Solavellan "well" or "correctly" to fit in with fandom, I had to write Solas in a certain way and justify my Inquisitor's relationship. I made my ace Inquisitor have a sexual relationship with him in order to fit in and it doesn't work for her at all. Looking back, it onestly does a disservice to both characters. I've retracted that now and do what I want to do, but that [1/2]

But that inclination to write a certain way or to portray characters in a certain way just to meet the loudest wishes of the fandom are still kind of there. And it feels a little weird? We didn’t create the canon characters, so all interpretations are in the same boat: just that, an interpretation. We should write what we want to write and have fun doing so, instead of feeling like we need to mould our stories to fandom expectation  (2/2)

Oh dang anon, I have a whole lotta thoughts on this. 

I read the first part and my heart honestly hurt. My characters are so near and dear to me, that I know how writing them in a situation that they would never be in is almost a a betrayal. And you’re right, it is a disservice to both. Like Sophie is so real to me that I know there are things she would never do. and thinking about putting her in those situations? I just can’t.

But that inclination to write a certain way or to portray characters in a certain way just to meet the loudest wishes of the fandom are still kind of there. And it feels a little weird? 

I felt this hard. 

I don’t pretend to know how fandom hierarchy works. (and I feel using that word is wrong. there is no hierarchy. there are no big name fans. we are all just fans.) But some ideas about characters just get popular and people roll with it. For example, (and I’m going to discuss Detroit become human here, because it’s the easiest example.) there’s one character that appears at the end of ONE ENDING. he says no lines. He does nothing except replace another character. And yet there’s popular fanon that this character is partnered with another character and they have an enemies to lovers sort of thing. How did this idea become popular? 

???? I have no idea. I could guess that one story/art/meta got popular and it seeped through to others. (I am going to point out now I am not against this idea, nor do I dislike it, I just think one of the characters in this pairing is a bis asshole.)  With Cullen there’s a popular idea he’s dominant. And while I don’t disagree…I just don’t think he would be that way with Lydia, because she is who she is. 

We didn’t create the canon characters, so all interpretations are in the same boat: just that, an interpretation.

and this is what had me nodding the hardest when I first saw this. 

Two people can look at the same painting and see two totally different things. Same thing with movies/books. Same thing with characters. I have my own interpretation of Cullen that I gleaned from playing the game, and because I made a specific woman for him, my interpretation molds to this woman I created. With DBH I had to interpret what a post game Connor would be like. There’s a lot of anxiety for him, and there’s guilt, and there’s excitement at noticing things he never noticed before. In my world he starts working at a bookstore. Maybe in someone else’s story he ends up at the circus because of one thing he says to Hank early in the game. I mean, who am I to judge? 

you know I wouldn’t be surprised if that story exists actually. maybe I’d read it. 

We didn’t create the canon characters, so all interpretations are in the same boat: just that, an interpretation. We should write what we want to write and have fun doing so, instead of feeling like we need to mould our stories to fandom expectation

YES 100 PERCENT AGREE

obviously I don’t condone offensive portrayals. but going back to Cullen, it would feel wrong of me to write him in a different way than what I see him, but fandom expectation (even if it was one I imagined…and it probably was.) made me kind of make Lydia grill into him harder than maybe she would have. (she’s such a gentle bean.) 

But doing that kills the fun of writing. A lot of things can kill the fun of writing, but when we’re talking about fanfiction….writing what you think people want to see versus what you want to write IMO does no one any good. I wrote things and posted them when I first started I thought people would like. And sure some did, but the kudos were hollow. Then I wrote a story about a robot and and actress (A freaking girl from Hawaii and is very up front about that. A girl who is a big NERD and idiosyncratic.) Heck, I thought no one would like her. 

But at least a couple people do, and that means more to be me than anything.