#and how u learn to cope with cruelty and decide or not to let it ruin u that goes beyond age

[stelashe]

I am biased towards millenials. That's my generation and overall I'm glad I was born in it but also I understand that I have a bias sometimes ofc. Most times tho, and these past months were a proof, seeing how we, for the major part, react to things and how we think and how we still have kindness and sympathy makes me proud of my peers and almost peers.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 9 (part 2)

This ep hits the feels simply cuz  we’re finally in tohru’s head! It shows tohru’s skill of reaching ppl’s hearts, not jst within furuba’s world but the viewers as well. However, while the emotion buttons were hit with tears, outbursts, suspense with the knife & cliff looming all over akito/tohru scenes, then tohru’s fall, fear of her death, another surge of emotions when kyo finally kissed her after their tragic encounter last ep, sth is still missing. For me personally, while the feels were 100%, the writing wasn’t.

-Minor writing Issues with akito/tohru’s “ face off leading to connecting moment”:

The akito/tohru scenes were more designed for the audience feel tohru’s pain more than for akito to connect with tohru. We were in tohru’s head more than listening to these two girls talk. That’s why the emotions hit us & we cried cuz we were listening to tohru’s heartbreaking monologue abt leaving her mom & hear her fear of being lonely without her mom. The heartbreaking visuals were all in tohru’s head. Akito didn't hear or see that. What akito heard was few sentences. Perhaps it is due to not having enough time to cover deeper dialogue between the girls, but akito was supposed to change her entire character, feels, demeanor, with one short dialogue. Tohru was talking to herself most of the time akito was facing her, the actual dialogue between the two was so short & touched upon their similarities briefly. Off course, akito slapping tohru multiple times was needed to indicate that “ look we know akito wont be won by tohru’s sincere words just like that on the spot, we’ll add slaps, multiple slaps to convey that it is logical that akito would refuse tohru’s words initially”. Unfortunately, once again furba uses violence to bridge gaps. tohru standing there weakly taking beating is such a bad taste that it bugs me that ppl are labeling it “ connecting”. I get that akito saw that tohru is after all similar to her & it led her to change, but it was done so quickly that we saw a peaceful, embarrassed, sincere smiling akito at the end of the ep. A new akito.

Furuba has this tendency to take long time building up dramatic character struggle & fix it in 5 or 8 minutes of the eps 20 min running time. The tools are: dramatic confrontation in a climactic style. Nothing is wrong with the tools themselves. They’re excellent story telling techniques, but the falling action is where the author’s skill at. Write drama & climax & raise the heart beat with suspense & emotions but the following consequences is what makes or breaks what you do. The ep needed to warp up akito’s realization for atonement so next eps will show her taking actual steps towards that. It also needed to wrap up kyo/tohru confrontation, so one of the two goals suffered on behalf of the other. kyo/tohru was established in the earlier ep, so it didnt suffer when it was wrapped, but akito/tohru is new thing brought in this ep only & was supposed to signal a new change! the villain getting redeemed. it worked in the emotions department, lots of ppl cried, but I felt it’s a bit weakly written. wished the girls “connected” by talking more before akito extended her hand. Oh well~ it is minor.

-Atonement vs forgiveness:

Akito is seeking atonement. Fixing her mistakes which means she’ll apologize to those whom she wronged & won’t repeat the horrible path of abuse. Atonement doesn't necessarily mean forgiveness. No one is obligated to forgive her just cuz she changed. Anyone who was bulled or abused understands how hard it is to accept the nightmarish past & move on, & look to see your bully/abuser doing well & has become a good person. It sucks to feel, “ oh so, I’m part of ur learning journey towards being a good person? Glad I could help in u realizing abusing ppl is bad, have a good time being good, me? I’m nursing my wounds & dealing with my nightmares that u caused, I’m doing way better now, but the wounds wont disappear”. Ppl might pressure you to forgive them cuz it’s the “ right thing” to do since it will help the abuser stay in the “ good” path. However, only YOU can choose how to respond. Only you can decide if forgiving them is helping u to cope or not. You dont even need to be part of their �� healing journey”. Focus on yourself  & live. Seek happiness & understand that sadness is part of the deal.

On the other side, if you were once a bully or an abuser, regardless of what made you choose such a path: an horrible trauma, being wronged yourself or simply not knowing better, you gotta understand that you might not be forgiven. It is ok if you weren’t. It is the other ppl’s right. Focus on yourself. Become a better person, work to fix the mistakes, ask forgiveness & be understanding of whatever response you might receive & move on. There is nothing else you can do. You cant spend your life waiting to hear the liberating words of “ i forgive you”. Those ppl you abused weren’t  liberated becuz of you for a long time, so it is understandable. Just focus on doing what you can to better yourself, atone, fix what can be fixed & live. Seek happiness & understand that sadness is part of the deal.

I like how akito embodies this themes of Atonement vs forgiveness, I just wish it was done with nice pace~ man! Now I’m really annoyed at the filler eps in se01 & 2! XD..-_-’’

-Again: don’t become the foolish traveler:

I cant say this enough. Tohru & kureno are the poster for kindness is an amazing virtue but don’t over do it.  You shouldn’t put yourself in danger & die like the foolish traveler. There is a reason both tohru & kureno are in the hospital & the author is doing a good job explaining that. Akito’s knife that deliberately went deep into kureno’s body, could have cut tohru by sheer panic & anxiety. Be kind but preserve yourself, too. Momiji said it. kind ppl exist & those who took advantage of them do exist as well. Still you can be kind. Reach out to ppl, but above all be kind to yourself<3

Side Notes:

I get that a yuki/kyo confrontation must happen to mirror tohru/akito. From enemies to buddies/friends/not enemies/ cool with each other. I just hope against all hopes that the drama is toned down a bit. But whom am I kidding? furuba has a history of running like a loose bull! >_<...fine! I’ll change my wish, I hope that kyo’s “ making a turn” from his tragic past & choosing better path is done better than akito’s, as in with “ enough time within furuba’s world, not necessarily multiple eps”.

Guessing who will forgive akito from the wronged zodiacs? I already know yuki, hatori & kureno had forgiven her. I want kisa to be spared from all this delima. Kyo’s entire trauma is abt seeking forgiveness, so I can see him forgiving her. I wouldn't be surprised if there were future kyo/akito encounters due to thoru befriending akito! would love to see that! As for Isuzu, the character who got the most severe abuse ( attempted murder) from akito, I can see her refusing this. Why should she care that akito is now “good”? From her perspective: screw akito! I saw death! nothing is wrong with such perspective from a helpless victim.

This ep is where akito & tohru’s Japanese VA shined the most, but kyo’s Japanese VA didnt have the right to steal their crown with his broken voice upon seeing near-dead tohru!! I wasnt even focused on him! but his voice stabbed me harsher than akito;s knife in kureno’s body! What a performance!!! It gave me chills! I’ve always said kyo’s English & Japanese VAs are good. but that moment, kyo’s Japanese VA delivered beyond comparison! well-done!

I’m still holding on shigure’s character analysis. Gotta wait for the bigger picture. but boy, he’s so grey.

The studio ditched akito’s lean boyish design & opted for a girlish design with lots of lashes, cute runs & girl stye of sitting on the bench. ok, cool. but I hoped akito stayed the same in her design even if she decided to acknowledge being a woman. Not all girls are feminine? they could've kept her the same. She spent i duno 20sth years walking & carrying herself a certain way, Now, tohru changed her, so even her style is different?

Also, It seems I need to give up on my pathetic conclusion that yuki will chang his “ akito-like” hair style! XD. That was a nice theory, ok?XD. I mean having a different hairstyle from ur abuser whom u spent ur childhood with is liberating! but I guess... anime is anime.. T_T. they can become grandparents & still same hair! lol !

Momiji is kind but he is NO foolish traveler. He didnt solely let go of his mom, sister, & tohru cuz he’s blindly kind nor cuz it is the best option for them. He considered & respected the other person’s emotions, desires & stance. He acknowledged & respected that his mom didn’t need him in her life, that his sister needs to grow a bit older before choosing to connect with her, that tohru isn’t a toy he & kyo fight for & he just give back to kyo cuz he’s a gentleman. No, tohru’s feelings matter & her choice is hers. He also didn’t blindly forgive akito nor brush her cruelty or quickly accept her. He stood up with judgemental looks, disapproving of her, waited to hear her sincere guilt, then approached her with wisdom & advice. Momiji is the best example of moderate kindness.