#and how support of trans men means fucking nothing if you throw trans women under the bus for it

[transgaysex]

head hurty

[lochnessies]

ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad). 

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace. 

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system. 

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society. 

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious. 

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic. 

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place. 

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

[adhdeancas]

for trans man!dean, him mcfuckin dipping to totally transition how he wants then posting up at a family reunion as his badass self with Sam proud of him? also cas comes as his plus one/emotional support/husband idk

mcfuckin love how you worded this. here you go, more trans dean for everyone. minor trigger warnings for a little bit of dysphoria and a little bit of transphobia

Dean didn’t tell anyone when he went away. He just left. Wasn’t anybody’s business, and it’s not like anybody cared enough to keep up with him. 

Sam was too busy with school and work, Dad was too busy being a drunk asshole, and, well, there weren’t many other people who gave a shit in Dean’s life. 

The only person he told was Bobby, and that’s because Bobby would’ve hunted his ass down just to kick it if he just stopped showing up at the garage. 

Sam texted every few months, sure, but Dean always got by with vague answers. He didn’t tell Sam that he was having top surgery, or going on hormones, or shacking up with a hot former-priest in Canada. Nah, not important. After all, he’d told Sam he was a dude years ago. So he shouldn’t be too surprised. Right? 

Except then he has to go to this stupid Winchester Family Reunion.

“Dean, it’s going to be okay. They love you,” Cas placated him for the thousandth time. He came over and fixed Dean’s tie, which Dean resolutely batted away. He was the one used to fixing Cas’s tie. He glared at his boyfriend. 

“You don’t know them.” He said quickly. He stomped over and flopped down face first on the gross motel comforter they’d rented out halfway to Bobby’s. (Dean wanted to just power through, but Cas insisted on making a road trip out of it. He hadn’t been on many.) He let out a muffled moan out of frustration.

Cas rolled his eyes. “Well, that’s why we’re starting with Bobby. Baby steps, right?”

Dean sat back up and cringed at his boyfriend. “Yeah, baby steps for me and giant leaps for Bobby.” Cas smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked like a freaking doctor visiting a patient, and it was so cute Dean wanted to end the conversation and pin him to the mattress instead. 

“Bobby knows you’re trans, right?” he asked patiently

“Yeah.”

“Then it shouldn’t be that big of a surprise to him that you look a little different. I mean, it’s been two years.” Dean grinned at him. Cas had a way of making everything seem so manageable. 

“Sure, just a little bit different. Two boobs lighter and a beard heavier.” He gave Cas a shit eating grin and looped a leg over him, sitting back on his heels. 

Cas pursed his lips, running a hand over Dean’s stubble. “I don’t know, would we call this a beard?”

Dean growled at him and leaned in for a kiss. “Hey, asshole, aren’t there better things you could do with your mouth than talk?” Cas laughed and kissed him back. 

“You make a good point.”

They left the motel room a little dirtier than they found it.

---------------------------------------------

Dean spent a full minute pacing back and forth behind an old clunker before he ran up to the front door and knocked. Cas eased up from where he’d been leaning against the Impala and joined his boyfriend where he was now awkwardly drumming against his thigh. “Do I look okay? Do I look-uh-” he faltered, not sure how he wanted to look. Did he want to look like a guy? Or enough like a chick to look like his old self, so Bobby would let him in? 

“You look great.” Cas reached for his hand but Dean stole it away so he could turn around when he heard the door opening. 

“...hello?” Bobby asked gruffly. Dean grinned and put his hands on his hips, then down at his sides when he realized he didn’t want to emphasize how wide his hips were. 

“Hi, uh, Bobby. It’s… it’s Dean?”

Bobby did a double-take, and then Dean shifted uncomfortably. He knew he was looking for what Dean used to look like in how he looked now. He cleared his throat. Bobby blinked at him. “Well, shit, Dean. You- uh- you been working out, kid?”

Bobby pulled Dean into a bone-crushing hug, laughing. Dean pulled away with just a grin just as big. “Lil’ bit.” He said, blushing. “Oh, uh,” he stepped back and grabbed Cas’s hand, pulling him forward. “This is Cas. He’s- he’s my boyfriend.” Dean was absurdly more nervous to admit he liked guys (again) than he was for Bobby to see him post-op. Would Bobby still believe he was a guy if he was queer too? 

“Shit, a boyfriend? What, you got a mortgage too, you hiding a kid under that jacket?” Bobby huffed and stalked into his house. Cas seemed a little taken aback by his gruffness, but Dean just grinned and squeezed his hand. This was a good sign. They followed him into the kitchen, where Bobby was making coffee and muttering, “What, go away for a couple years and come back a man?” 

Dean beamed. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean took a deep breath, and Cas squeezed his hand. He pressed a kiss to Dean’s cheek. “You’ve got this, babe.” Dean nodded shakily. He could do this. 

Surprisingly, he could do this. From the second he walked in the door, Dean took no shit. Most people didn’t give him more than a glance; they didn’t recognize either of the new men. Dean looked for Sam’s messy mop of hair and made a beeline as soon as he recognized it. Easy, when Sam towered over practically everyone. 

“Sammy!” Dean poked his brother in the back. “How the hell are you?”

Sam turned around, his furrowed brows loosening into a look of pure surprise when he recognized his brother. Which of course he did. “Dean!” He hugged Dean, pulling away so he could look at him. “Holy shit, you- you got top surgery?”

Dean grinned. “You know what top surgery is?”

Sam looked offended. “I research.” Dean laughed and lifted up his shirt quickly to show his scars. 

“Pretty cool, right?” Cas laughed at that and Sam turned his attention to the dark haired man standing behind his brother. “Oh yeah, I brought moral support.” He dragged Cas forward with a hand on the small of his back, and Cas thrust out his hand. “He’s a grad student too. I’m sure you nerds have a ton to gab about.” 

Sam rolled his eyes and shook Cas’s hand. “Hey, man, nice to meet you. What’re you studying?”

Dean zoned out almost immediately, keeping a hand on Cas out of comfort. All around the room, his family didn’t recognize him. Usually he’d have people coming up to him, Aunts screeching “Deanna!” and talking about his weight or his outfit or his hair, he’d have uncles throwing him over their shoulders and talking about last time they’d seen him when he was a little girl. Now? Nothing. Clean slate. It felt like freedom. He was him, in front of his family. For once. Then Dad walked up to him. 

“Sammy, who you got there? Thought you weren’t bringing a plus one.” John asked gruffly, suspiciously. Sam rolled his eyes. 

“It’s Sam. And I told you, Jess couldn’t come, she’s got too much on her plate right now.” He reminded his dad quickly that he was dating a woman right now, fuck you very much. 

“Yeah, sorry Dad, that’s my date.” Dean grinned and looped an arm low on Cas’s waist. He felt Cas look at him and he swore he heard him sniff. Motherfucker was checking for alcohol on his breath. He laughed and turned to give him a quick kiss, which surprised him even more. Confidence was a helluva thing. 

John was frozen in place. One of his eyes was twitching like he was overloaded with information. Which, Dean guessed, he was. 

“Dad, Cas, Cas, John,” Dean said, still grinning. Sam let out a snort from his other side. Cas extended his hand coolly. John stared at him as he returned the favor, turning Cas’s knuckles white with the force of his grip. “Oh and I’m Dean, by the way, in case you didn’t get the email.”

Dean extended his hand for his own handshake, and John took it equally slowly. “So you’re just going to show up like this, no warning or-”

“Yup.” Dean said happily. “Now I was promised burgers. Where are the fucking burgers?”

“What have you done to yourself?”

“Upgraded.” Dean shrugged and fixed his jacket. 

“And you’re…” He looked at Cas.

“Into men.” Dean nodded. “And women. No offense, Cas, but women are just prettier.” Cas nodded sagely, and Dean offered Sam a fist to fistbump. Sam did it with a smirk. “Guess you got two queer sons, daddio.”

John made no move. “Burgers?”

“Over there.” Sam answered this time, pointing. Dean looked. 

“Oh over by Grandpa Henry? Sweet. Thanks, Sammy. Wanna join?” He looped an arm around Sam’s shoulders before he could answer and dragged his two best guys toward the food. 

“Dean, hey, I’m- I’m really proud of you.” Sam stopped him and put a hand on his chest, and Dean felt a warm feeling both due to his words and the fact that Sam could pat him on the chest now without it being weird. “I know you’ve had a rough time- I mean, with everybody, with caring what they think- I’m just really proud of you.” 

Dean swallowed a lump in his throat. “Thanks, Sammy. That’s all I need.”

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

[ardellian]

I. Am very ANGRY.

For all the trans people who read this - you are amazing, you are brave, and fuck everyone who dares to tell you how you are allowed to express who you are.

Anyway I went through JKRs essay on trans issues and tried to deconstruct it because a prominent Swedish political figure just supported it and these are EXACTLY the kind of arguments I have had to counter and it SUCKS. I will have to sit through this shit being thrown at me again not far from now. So this is... venting, I guess. 

This is going to be long and if you want to understand it I guess you should read what she’s written; it’s on her homepage. But also don’t read it because it will probably make you sad and angry. It’s transphobic and ignorant, and just, please, stay away from it if you know that will make you feel like shit. I’m also going to be quoting her in the text below, so I’m putting it under a cut. 

M’kay. 

First, what even is she trying to say with this essay? She says she’s worried about the “new trans activism.” What exactly is worrying with this new activism? Well, she doesn’t say it outright, but it seems to be that she believes it’s getting too easy to transition. That the “rigorous process of evaluation, psychotherapy and staged transformation” is being eroded, and this is bad.

Through the essay I can find two main arguments she has to support this claim.

1. Cis youth (in particular cis girls) will be fooled into to thinking they’re trans. 

The UK has experienced a 4400% increase in girls being referred for transitioning treatment. Autistic girls are hugely overrepresented in their numbers. 

Littman mentioned Tumblr, Reddit, Instagram and YouTube as contributing factors to Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria, where she believes that in the realm of transgender identification ‘youth have created particularly insular echo chambers.’

She also supports this idea by sharing a personal history of being uncomfortable with gender roles, and confusing that with gender dysphoria: 

“The allure of escaping womanhood would have been huge. I struggled with severe OCD as a teenager. If I’d found community and sympathy online that I couldn’t find in my immediate environment, I believe I could have been persuaded to turn myself into the son my father had openly said he’d have preferred.” 

“Fortunately for me, I found my own sense of otherness, and my ambivalence about being a woman, reflected in the work of female writers and musicians who reassured me that, in spite of everything a sexist world tries to throw at the female-bodied, it’s fine not to feel pink, frilly and compliant inside your own head; it’s OK to feel confused, dark, both sexual and non-sexual, unsure of what or who you are.” 

3. A concern that fake trans women invading women’s spaces would make “natal women” less safe:

“A man who intends to have no surgery and take no hormones may now secure himself a Gender Recognition Certificate and be a woman in the sight of the law. Many people aren’t aware of this.”

“When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth.”

Okay. 

Let me make an observation here before I try to counter these points. She’s having very different problems with the ease of transitioning for trans women and trans men. If it’s too easy for trans women to transition, men will use this as an opportunity to prey on women. If it’s too easy for trans men to transition, young girls will be in danger of forsaking their womanhood. She clearly identifies with the young afab people who question their gender, but not with trans women who want to be recognized as such. Let that sit with you for a bit and I’ll see if I come back to it. 

Let’s see if I can argue against these two points first. 

1.  Cis youth (in particular cis girls) will be fooled into to thinking they’re trans.

Her statistics aren’t wrong. There has been a huge increase in trans youth. This increase is especially prevalent in neurodivergent afab people. Trans health care, at least where I live, is struggling with how to deal with this. Those diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders often have difficulties with feeling comfortable in their bodies and the language used around that can be similar to the language used around gender dysphoria. Many people are concerned, as JKR obviously is, that these people might think that transitioning would get rid of these symptoms, when in fact they stem from something completely different. These people may transition and still have these symptoms. They may be disappointed. 

The conclusion you’re implicitly supposed to draw from these statements, and those like what I quoted above, that these young trans people aren’t really trans. That they’re somehow being tricked by trans activists. You have to believe two other things for that: that young neurodivirgent people can’t interpret their own lived experience in a correct way, and that transitioning is harmful. 

Because why would it be a problem if a young person questions their gender, identifies as trans, transitions, and then changes their mind? Who cares if they have an autism diagnosis? It is only a problem if transitioning is bad for you. And the part that people like JKR seems to think is harmful is that they might have “altered their bodies irrevocably, and taken away their fertility”. But the unaltered body holds no moral superiority over the altered one. While fertility is something many people desire and something many who lack it grieve, it is not something that inherently gives your life more value. To JKR, the inherent harm of transitioning can only be justified if the person is really trans.

The tendency of a specific group to display a higher prevalence of identifying as trans is then used to cast doubt on their experiences. It’s a “social contagion” - they’re not really trans. But why does any of that matter? So what if a person identifies as trans because they see themselves in another’s story and go - that’s true for me too? Why can’t you believe them? 

Well. Because you don’t really believe trans people are real. You believe that when young people speak of dysphoria, they are referring to the experience you had when you were young. And you’re happy with being a woman now. So surely they just need to accept themselves for what they are and they won’t be trans anymore. 

I get it. I recognize myself in what JKR writes here. I felt “mentally sexless.”  I also “found my own sense of otherness, and my ambivalence about being a woman, reflected in the work of female writers and musicians” and this reassured me. Find a woman who has not during a period of their life hated their body, I dare you. The world we live in does cause women to have strange relationships with their bodies. And it’s very easy from there to make the logical leap to the idea that young trans men are just girls who never found that reassurance! I might have also thought so, if I hadn’t connected with trans men in my teens, and actually tried to understand their experience, and realized that my negative feelings about my body not living up to some standard of beauty, about not being woman enough in some way, and not wanting to be “pink and frilly”, was not the same as their experience. I mean - I didn’t like my body because I thought it should look like a beautiful woman’s body, but they felt bad about their bodies because they thought they shouldn’t look like women at all!  Young boys don’t find reassurance in texts about womanhood. Because they’re not women.

So I feel a bit sorry for her. Because I think that she sees herself in these young people, and it terrifies her - what if I could have turned out to be trans? But that would only be a problem if you think being trans is a problem. So maybe you could have been trans, JKR. Why does that bother you?

And god, if you want to talk about things that pressure young people into irrevocably altering their bodies, how about the  “rigorous process of evaluation, psychotherapy and staged transformation“ that tries over and over again to make sure, double sure, triple sure, that you really are what you say you are. Trans people who want access to gender-affirming care have to show no weakness - if you slip up and say that you might not want surgeries, that can be used against you and you get nothing. Trans people repeatedly say they have to perform their gender to the extreme in order for health care providers to believe them. They’re being questioned and doubted and pushed and to get through that, you have to dig in and fight. This is not a process that encourages careful consideration and doubts - it’s a system that says: all or nothing, hesitate and you’re out. 

So we get to her second argument:

3. A concern that fake trans women invading women’s spaces would make “natal women” less safe:

Here she draws a line between real trans women, who have passed through some rigorous testing process, and men who fake it. She uses her history of abuse as a cause to be worried about the safety of women if the gender binary were relaxed. The only argument she makes here is the one I already copied up there: 

When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth. 

Let’s be charitable and say that she means men who would fake being women when she writes “any man who believes or feels he’s a woman“, and not trans women who just don’t perform womanhood according to her standards. But still the question remains - why oh why are you so scared of seeing a body that doesn’t agree with your ideas of a woman in a changing room? If that “fake trans woman” is there, and doing nothing wrong, then why are you so bothered about it? Why? Is the sight of male secondary sex characteristics inherently harmful to women? No! Are you afraid that someone might experience sexual attraction when looking at your body? Then do you think lesbians should also have separate changing rooms? No, you obviously don’t! Sexual harassment is never acceptable, and just because you have a same-sex space doesn’t make that space immune to it. Opening it up to non-conforming bodies does not make sexual harassment somehow acceptable. Those who enter spaces with sexual harassment in mind should be dealt with - but the presence of non-normative bodies is not sexual harassment. 

Trans women are women, JKR says, and I sympathize with them - but only if they display their womanhood in a way that agrees with my idea of it. And they’re not like me. Only if they have the right kind of bodies, have gone through medical procedures, want to do these surgeries, will I extend my pity.

And fuck that.  

Look, the kind of logic she presents here paints trans people into a corner where the only acceptable way of being is to subscribe to a certain kind of body. Which harms the very people she claims she wants to protect - young people questioning their gender. Especially non-binary people, whom she doesn’t even acknowledge. 

And now let’s stop being charitable - JKR doesn’t believe trans people exist. She believes that those who say they are trans are tragically confused and we should only accept their words because we are nice. We should accept their delusions because we pity them. She doesn’t understand her own opinions this way, I’m sure. But fuck her understanding. 

She’s upset because the idea of “womanhood” is moving away from her. She feels - I’ve felt this too! - that this push for increased inclusiveness is taking the focus from the real issues. Things that affect all women. But claiming that women have “unifying realities that make them a cohesive political class” is something that white women say. When anyone talks about “the real issues”, they usually mean “issues that affect me.”

I mean that’s privilege 101, people. 

Ugh.

In conclusion, I’m still angry. 

[smol-and-grumpy]

Dear Dean (Chapter 10)

Re-post

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC (Jamie Blum)

WC: 5k

Summary: After taking Saint Lo, by sheer dumb luck, Lieutenant Dean Winchester from the 29th Infantry Division, Baker Company, received a truckload of replacements for his platoon that was falling apart. Little did he know, that one recruit would change his life forever.

Chapter Warnings: Ah, it’s a whole lotta angst. Fear of loss. Fear of the future.

SERIES MASTERLIST

August 20th, 1944

The morning came and right after reveille, his platoon stood at attention as Castiel barked out his orders. They were moving out pretty soon after, in an endless convoy of trucks. Dean guessed that they were about a day away from Brest, but as slow as the convoy moved, it could take them longer, maybe even two. If they would march, they’d probably reach it faster.

Dean couldn’t say that he’d anticipated that move. There was just so much to do and they were still more than a day away.

Bambi’d been doing better, although she hadn’t been sleeping enough. Dean commanded her to take a nap on the truck, which she agreed to do, but not without an eye roll. Those damned eyes. He hoped that her back would heal properly before they reached Brest.

Some soldiers marched along the convoy, and some were sprawled out on the flatbed of a deuce-and-a-half. They took turns rotating their marching duties to save energy for Brest.

Dean was busy walking from one truck to the other, taking and giving orders. By the time he could take a little break, Bambi was asleep and snoring in the truck bed. She was curled up against a corner. Dean took a seat a couple of feet from her, smiling as he watched her. He didn’t know if he was lucky or a stupid son of a bitch for falling in love in the midst of war. Hell, he didn’t even know what love felt like so he didn’t have an answer to that.

The convoy stopped at a small village in the outskirts of Morlaix for the night, and Castiel directed them to their harbor area. Dean walked and talked with the men of his platoon, checking if they had everything, telling them to restock on their ratios and ammos.

“Sir, are we finally marching into Brest tomorrow?” Private Fitzgerald asked with an easy smile on his face. It made Dean wonder how someone could be so happy about the fact that they were going to be shot at.

“Yes.” It was a short answer, but Dean had nothing else to add onto that.

His platoon dug a couple of foxholes to share and Dean took a walk through the village. It probably used to be a really nice village, too, before the war destroyed it. What was left were buildings that used to be a hotel and a couple of stores. The Battalion staff were occupying the rooms, though, leaving them empty handed, and Dean couldn’t really remember the last time he had a roof over his head. A real one, not some makeshift foxhole roof. Of course he had a roof in Vire, but already it seemed like ages ago.

He walked back after talking with the platoon leaders from Fox and Easy company who had set up their harbor area on the other side of the village. When he got closer to his platoon, Dean could already hear the heated exchange.

“Hey!” Dean barked, breaking into a jog. “Hey! What’s going on?” He reached their campfire where he saw Bambi standing there red faced with a frown across her forehead and already Dean thought of the worst. Was her secret out? Had she been exposed? Was it his fault?

“Bambi here, sir,” Harvelle started to speak, lifting his chin to point it towards Bambi. “We received sentry rota for tonight and we took Bambi off, because he’s obviously still weak and we’d rather he stays put, because we need him to be ready tomorrow. He was having none of it.”

“Goddamnit, I’m fine! I can do it if y’all would just let me! It’s just sentry for god’s sake. It’s not like I’m going to fight Krauts alone while y’all are sleeping. Geez!” Bambi hissed and threw her arms up in the air dramatically. Dean had a hard time holding in his laugh.

He understood that she was sick of being treated like she was delicate, but it also showed that his platoon took care of their own and Dean couldn’t lie, he was proud of that. They were family, and he couldn’t wish for a better support system away from home. He also made sure that his men behaved. After Omaha and before Saint Lo, there had been quite of a common thing that the soldiers were passing along women they freed from the Nazis and even though the girls were very grateful and acted that way, Dean could see in their eyes that they were not really enjoyed being passed along. He made sure that his soldiers knew that if he caught wind of anyone mistreating a woman that he would personally kick their asses back to Virginia. “Think about how you would treat your sisters, mothers, grandmothers.” He said to them, and then Harvelle made a face.

“Thanks for that, Lieutenant. I’ll never look at a woman the same again.”

Dean shrugged at that. If it got his men to respect them, then he did the right thing. There were a couple of trouble makers in Balthazar’s platoon who were out of line and, as luck had it, they ended up with an itching rash on their dicks for days. They wouldn’t stop complaining and whining until they reached Saint Lo and could be treated by experienced medical staff. Dean chuckled when he heard about it. Karma was a bitch and they deserved it.

“We’re just looking out for you.” Tran said, crossing his arms as if he was a little hurt that Bambi didn’t appreciate what they’re all doing for her.

She didn’t say anything, instead she looked down to her boots, but Dean could see that she was trembling. She’s probably even close to crying.

Dean cleared his throat to speak. “So, you really wanna do it, private?” He asked her, and she looked up at him. Her eyes were a little red, but she stood there, unfazed and he knew that she was not going to back down.

“Yes, sir.” The voice came out a little broken at first, but she caught herself quickly.

“Fine. Then leave him in.” Dean didn’t want to argue with her. He knew that she was not going to back down. Not the Bambi he knew. No, the Bambi he knew was not scared of challenges. She was not intimidated and wouldn’t let a sore back ruin the chance of making herself purposeful and help out in any way she could. “Put me in with him. Any other questions?” Dean asked, looking around at his men.

Dean could see a Harvelle’s eyes. They were not pleased, but Dean ignored it. “No, sir.” Harvelle answered with a frown, already putting in Bambi’s name for sentry.

“Good. As you were,” Dean nodded at all of them before he went on with his duties.

Castiel sent a runner up to find him. Dean ran into him when he was rounding the corner to the Battalion staff building. “Sir, Lieutenant Novak wants to speak to you, sir!”

“Where is he?”

“Company CP, sir. At the old bakery.”

“Thank you, private.” Dean said, and made his way toward the bakery.

To say that the streets were confusing was an understatement. Dean remembered that he walked past a bakery before, but now he finds himself lost. He took another turn which led him to a cul de sac, and he couldn’t believe that he got lost twice. Eventually he arrived at the office and was probably already late.

Cas chuckled when he saw him outside of the bakery’s still intact display window. “You got lost, didn’t you?” He immediately said when Dean stepped in.

“How do you know?” He answered a little snappishly. Dean was tired and still had so many things to organized that he couldn’t delegate. He didn’t have time to get lost or patience left for Cas. It better be something very fucking important.

“I get lost every time.” Cas shrugs. “That’s why I’m staying and not going anywhere until we’re leaving. Imagine the CO who can’t even find his own damn office.” Cas walked over from his sand table to sit back on the corner of his desk. He took a deep breath before he fumbled with his cigarette tin and held it out to Dean. “You want one?”

“No, thanks.” The reply came too quick and it made Cas raise an eyebrow at him.

Dean didn’t smoke that much anymore. Actually, he stopped completely when Bambi got hurt. The last cigarette he had was when they were sitting around the campfire while he was heating up food for her and then, it was only because he didn’t want to be rude when one of his men offered him one from their already declining cigarettes in their tin packs. He gave up smoking for her, still remembering that she told him in her foxhole that she didn’t smoke and he didn’t as well, out of courtesy. He was going to stop smoking once he was back on American soil anyway - if he ever got back, that is. It just happened sooner than he thought it would be. Giving up smoking for her was not that big of a deal, and Dean would give up way more, come to think of it.

Cas shrugged as Dean denied the cigarette and lit one up for himself. He inhaled deeply, breathing out blue smoke that rose up and disappeared in the air.

“Why I called you in,” Cas cleared his throat and Dean watched him. “Jamie Blum.”

“What’s with him?” Dean shifted from one foot to the other.

“His brothers all put in his name to be contacted in case of emergency. And he’s the only one in their will. Since he’s been here, it took the news longer to arrive.”

“Cas,” Dean’s getting impatient. “Cut it. What’s wrong?”

“His brother. Jameson Blum, he’s with the 5th Infantry. He’s been MIA since they attacked and Captured Angers more than a week ago.”

Dean didn’t say anything. His heart was racing and already he thought of how he’d be able to tell Bambi.

“That’s not all.” Cas continued and Dean’s heart sank deeper. “His brother Jack, who was with the 1st Infantry, didn’t make it past D-Day.”

“Fuck.” Dean muttered under his breath. Suddenly he wanted to smoke again. Or throw up. He was undecided.

“Yeah, I don’t know if I should tell Blum that, or if you wanted to do it, since I know that you’re so close.”

Dean frowned then, looking back up at Cas. “What do you mean?”

“Dean, I have always admired you. How you work with your men.. You’re family, and I was always jealous of the relationship you had with them. I wanted to be like you, leading a platoon and have men literally line up to die for me.” Cas chuckled lightly. “You just don’t see it, do you? If you’d say jump, they wouldn’t even ask how high, they’d do the highest they can. If you go into battle face first, they are the ones who have your back no matter what. They’d all follow you, even it if meant that they’re following you to their death. They’d even thank you for it, Dean.”

“Ah, come on.”

“It’s true. I still think you’d have been a better CO.”

“Bullshit, Cas. You’re our fearless leader. Me, for one, I’d follow you no matter what. And honestly, I trust you with my life and the lives of my men.”

Cas walked around the desk and put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Thanks.”

“Only telling the truth, is all.” Dean shrugged, smirking a little to cheer his friend up, and Cas smiled back.

“So, you want to tell Blum or shall I?”

There was no way that Dean was going to let her hear the devastating news from Cas. Even though he didn’t really want to tell her himself. “No, I’ll tell him.” Dean was already thinking of the how.

***

It was close to his sentry duty at oh-one-hundred-hours, and Dean would see Bambi again. He squeezed in a nap, but he was so anxious about telling her, that it took him longer to fall asleep. When he finally fell asleep, he had to get up again. To say that he was exhausted was an understatement. Plus he snuck in to nap in Sneezy’s foxhole, because Dopey was on sentry and god, that man snored. There were times that Dean thought the foxhole would collapse on them. So sleeping in the same hole with Sneezy, that was a thing Dean ain’t going to do again. When Dean rounded up the corner he could already spot her sitting on a big stone at the most Eastern spot of their sentry point.

She sat there, looking out at the dark sky when Dean approached.

“You’re late.” She said, but she didn’t look back or up at him.

Dean sat down beside her. “Sorry,” He said. “Sneezy wouldn’t let me nap.”

“Maybe you should dig up your own hole for a change, Lieutenant.” She tilted her head to look at him then and she smiled. Dean cursed himself. She looked happy, relaxed, and he was about to ruin all of that when he told Bambi about her brothers.

Dean chuckled awkwardly, “Yeah, maybe I’ll try that.”

They sat beside each other for a while in silence, before he took her hand, threading his fingers through hers. His thumb painted soothing circles on her knuckles. “Jamie, I need to tell you something.”

She looked over to him and went still. It was a clear night, the moon shone above them and painted her in a beautiful glow. “You wanna break up with me for real, Lieutenant?”

“Bambi,” He said, already annoyed and ready to deny it.

“‘Cause if you do it’s alright. I get it, you know. No hard feelings because war and all. And I’m a man and you’re not queer and –”

“Jamie! Listen to me!” He hissed, making her flinch and stop rambling. He didn’t want to hear that from her, let alone then.

She was gasping, not used to being told that she should shut her mouth. She was spitfire and damn, Dean sometimes hated that she was so tough.

“Cas,” he said as Bambi settled herself back into listening. “I mean, Novak, he called me in. Telling me that your brothers all put you down as their emergency contact. They had trouble reaching you, because they didn’t know that you were here.”

“And?”

Dean could feel her fingers squeezing his hand unconsciously. She probably didn’t even know that she was almost hurting him with how hard she was holding on.

“Your brother, Jack. He..uh.. shit, Jamie. He didn’t make it past D-Day. He fell at Omaha beach.” Dean didn’t want to even think that Jack might have been one of the fallen soldiers that Dean had to climb over to retrieve a new rifle. Or maybe Jack was in one of the landing craft that didn’t even made it to shore. Or maybe Jack didn’t get the chance to get off that landing craft and fight when it stopped at the shore, because they had been decimated by fucking Krauts, sitting in their high bunker forts. Dean tried to shake the thought out of his head and he felt his heart sinking again when he looked over to her. Jamie had tears running down her cheeks, but she did nothing to brush them away. She also didn’t say anything. Just stared at him as if she’s trying to let the words sink in.

After a long while, she repeated her brother’s name. “Jack.”

Dean nodded. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Bambi, you know I am.”

“It’s ok.” She said and turned her head to look ahead. The sky on the horizon lit up. There was a fight in the distance. There was always a fight somewhere.

“It’s not all, Jamie.” Fuck, he hated doing this. Hated it with a passion. Then there was a squeeze of Jamie’s hand again, but she didn’t turn her head to meet his eyes. Dean mentally thanked her for that, because he wouldn’t know how to tell her more devastating news while she looked him dead in the eye.

“Jameson. He’s been MIA since Angers. They haven’t found him.”

She brushed away her tears now with the back of her dirty hand, leaving a streak of dirt on her cheek. “He’s my twin, you know that?” It was sudden, Dean wasn’t prepared. He thought that she’d break down and cry, but she didn’t.

“He is?”

She tilted her head towards Dean, grinning. “Yeah. I’m older. He’s my little brother. Not so little because he’s way taller. I got here because of him.”

So, that was how she got in. Dean could imagine Jamie pestering her brother to put down her name. Annoying the shit out of him and being a pain in the ass until Jameson did it. Maybe she didn’t do it with words, but she could sure as hell do it with with her eyes. He couldn’t blame him. Dean knew that if Bambi sets her mind on something, there wasn’t a way that she’d back out of it.

“I’m sorry.” Dean didn’t know what else to say.

“It’s fine. I know that he’s still alive.” She sounded hopeful, as if she really believed that he was alive. Maybe she was right, Dean wouldn’t know. Maybe the Krauts got him. But if Bambi believed it, he wanted to hold on to that, too.

“He is.” Dean said, and sat there in silence with her, his thumb circling on her knuckles.

There was a long pause where they sat and listened to their surroundings. The harbor area was quiet, except for some whispering.

“I’d like to go swimming,” She said out of the blue and Dean raised an eyebrow, wanting to ask her why she was thinking of swimming right now, but he didn’t. He soon realized that it was a way for her to cope and she wasn’t completely different from him. Burying it deep inside and thinking of other things, that, he could.“You know, warm sand underneath my feet. The salt of the ocean in my hair. That’s what we did every so often, went to the beach with the whole family. I mean, my brothers and I.”

“That sounds nice.” Dean agreed. He never did that with Sam. He was too busy, even working on weekends to get by.

She turned her head to meet his eyes. And Jamie smiled despite the tears that were still running down. “What do you think, can we go to the beach once this is all over?”

Dean thought about it. Imagined it. “I…uh.. I’m not too fond of beaches. You know..” To be frank, he hated them since D-Day, but he was not going to tell her that. He wouldn’t tell her that he couldn’t swim, either. It had never been an issue and he could crawl like a dog to keep his head above water, unless his gear would pull him down, but swimming was not really his thing. His dad never taught him and so he couldn’t teach Sam. D-Day was the most swimming Dean did in his life. He was a lucky son of a bitch to not drown.

“I know.” Jamie said, looking ahead. “Would it help if I tell you that I really have a nice two piece swimming suit. My midriff exposed an all.” She grinned cheekily before she turned to face Dean again and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Bambi, you trying to seduce me with indecent images of your exposed skin?” Dean tried to sound shocked and took her hand, squeezing it. “I don’t even know if I would agree to it if you walked around naked.”

“With all due respect, sir, I’m going to change your mind.”

Dean grinned at that. “I wanna see you try.”

Later, they walked their sentry route in silence. His knuckles occasionally brushed against hers, and he felt her fingers holding on to him for a fragment of a second. That was enough. Enough for him to know that she was there, but Dean couldn’t shake the feeling that it could be him. Sam was his emergency name and he was Sam’s. It could very well be one of them down the line or both. He didn’t know if he would react as well and composed as Bambi did. He just knew that he’d like for her to be there for him, to catch him when he fell. The same as he was trying to provide a safety net for her. As good as he could.

Dean sat in a shell scraping later on as Bambi made her way to her foxhole. He fished out loose papers, and the flashlight from his webbing and put it in between his mouth as he began to write out a letter to Sam.

Dear Sam,

Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t as stupid as I thought it would be. If it helps, it might even be more stupid, but it’s nothing for you to be worried about. Promise.

Also, don’t worry about Anna. I already penned a letter to her a couple of days ago. I guess I have just been holding out to the last straw of home, and I didn’t want her to be mad. Maybe, I thought that my feelings for her could change once I got back. I see now that it wasn’t fair of me to have kept her as a lifeboat for so long. A lifeboat for when I would sink and there would be nobody around to help me back to the shore, because I know that you’re having someone and well, I was kind of worried that I’d be all alone. And by the way, I also told her not to contact you again.

Well, yes. You have my blessings for asking Jess to marry you - not that you ever needed or cared about my blessings anyway, bitch! I hope we can go home soon, Sammy. I never wanted to go home more than I do now. Mom’s ring is yours. Take good care of it, alright? Also, ask her old man first. That’s the way to go, dummy. Also maybe it’s too much to ask for, but I kinda wanna be there when you do it. At least I wanna be the one you come home to after she said yes. And don’t be afraid. She’ll say yes. I’m sure of that. I mean, why would she say no? You’re intelligent, you’re kind, you’re a fucking winner. I’m just sorry that you aren’t as handsome as me.

You remember Bambi, right? He has three brothers out here in Normandy. One of them was MIA and one of them didn’t make it past D-Day. I had to tell him the bad news today, because he’s the sole emergency contact for all his brothers. They thought that he’d stay at home - like I thought you would stay at home - and now Regiment staff had trouble finding him. That’s why it took them so long. Shit Sam, I had to tell him the devastating news. It was one of the hardest thing I ever had to do. It was certainly harder than killing Krauts, and it made me think of you and that we also only have each other. I don’t want Cas to tell me about you. I really don’t. So I beg you, take good care, alright? Always, always be aware of your surroundings, be alerted, and don’t do anything stupid!

I also want to tell you that I’ve met a girl. She’s beautiful and a sweetheart, but she’s also a spitfire. I’ve known her for almost 2 months, kept her a secret until I was ready to tell you about her, and I think that now’s the time. She’s like you, Sammy, and probably the reason I wanna go home so bad. I wanna go home with you, Sam, but I also want her with us, if you won’t mind, of course. You two would get along great. She’s tough like nails and she probably could drink you under the table - not me though, because I’m tougher - obviously. She also won’t take shit from me, just like you. Please don’t ask how I met her. I can not tell you that yet. But I.. fuck, I don’t even know how love feels like. I just know that I have this feeling in my gut when I see her smile, and I wanna keep trying to let her keep that beautiful smile on her face. She means a whole damn lot to me. Is that enough? Is that what you call love? Is that how Jess makes you feel? Because I have no idea. I can’t help but think, what if this is all the love I’ll ever get? I mean, we’re fighting a war, and I fall in love? This is not how it was supposed to be, right? But again, what if this is all the love that I’ll ever know? What if I die tomorrow? What if it hurts like hell? What if she decides that I’m not good enough? I’m at a loss here and I’m confused.

Be safe, Sammy! We’re going home soon, bitch!

Lieutenant Dean Winchester

Jamie still felt sore all over. Not only her body hurt - to be frank, it hurts less and less - but her heart hurt like hell. Jack. Shit. She missed him terribly, and Jameson. She knew deep down in her gut, that Jameson was still alive, and she hoped that they’ll find him soon. Please, at least god should give her that much. She’d suffered enough.

She crawled down the foxhole she shared with Trenton and shook the private awake. “Trenton, you’re late for your fucking sentry!” She said louder than she should and he jerked up, almost knocking their heads together in the process.

“Fuck, fuck!” Trenton’s hand scrambled around in the dark in search for his helmet and rifle and was out before she could say anything else. He was already two minutes late.

Jamie settled on her side of the foxhole and she couldn’t help but notice the stinging scent of cum floating around in their foxhole. Trenton sure used his time wisely and jerked off. She just hoped that he stayed on his side during it.

She curled herself into a fetal position, her face facing the dirt wall. She tried not to think about Jack and Jameson. The only one who was still out there, Jim and strangely enough, she fell asleep immediately.

***

“Hey, Bambi.” She was still half asleep and couldn’t put two and two together. The voice was low, hushed.

“What? Do we have to get up already?” She said, thinking that it was Trenton who was back from his sentry to wake her up for reveille.

“Shhh..” There was a hush, and she felt someone settle down next to her, curling up his body against hers. “Not yet, you can sleep.” She could feel Dean put his arms around her. He whispered close to her ear. He buried his face in her neck, breathing hotly against the crook of it. He placed a kiss on her cheek before he settled his back down.

It wasn’t long before she heard him again. Dean lifted his head, looking and sniffling around.  “Does it smell like cum in here?”

She broke into a soft laughter and turned herself around in his grip. “Yeah. Trenton’s horny all the time. He does it a couple of times a day.”

“Good thing he doesn’t know that he rooms with a girl then.” Dean smirked, grazing his nose along hers as he tightened his grip around her body and pulled her into a kiss.

Jamie didn’t want to tell Dean that Trenton knew. It didn’t matter. She and Trenton were a damn good team now. She thought he was weird at first, but Trenton, apart from his crazy sex drive, was the only one who she felt comfortable enough to confide in. He promised to keep her secret. She had no doubt that her secret was safe with Trenton. She knew that there would be a time when she would tell Dean, but not then. She was too exhausted.

It was the first time she kissed Dean for what seemed like forever. His lips were still as soft as she remembered, and it might have sounded crazy, but it made her forget everything. She parted her lips a little for him to lick into and placed her hand on his chest. She could feel his heart beating underneath his jacket. It was in that moment that she wished she would be able to stop the clock from ticking.

Dean cupped her face with one hand, his fingers brushing against her cold cheek. She didn’t know why, but her bottled emotions made their way to the surface, and she could feel tears falling down her face.

He broke the kiss then, looking at her, as his thumb brushed away the tears from her cheeks. “Hey, shhh..” Dean kissed her forehead. “I’m here. Alright, I’m here.”

Jamie nodded, and then he kissed her again. “Come on, let’s take a nap.” He tried to smile, and she could see that it upset him, too. He made her turn around and settle back into place. Dean hugged her from behind. “Just have to make sure that you’re miles away from me when Trenton comes back.”

“You have no idea, Lieutenant. Trenton is sneaking up on me in his sleep all the time. So I think it’s not his place to judge.”

“What’s that?” Dean growled out the question. “Should I be worried?”

“Should you?” She asked, giggling to herself. “I mean, Trenton is touch starved. He’s horny all the time, but he’s good. Also, I think you’re sleeping in his cum now.”

Dean stalled and hitched his breathing as he craned his neck to take a look around the hole, cringing his nose.

“I slept in worse.” He said after a while, shrugging.

CHAPTER 11

[sulpher]

what do you call someone with a strong annoyance borderline hate of men specifically men who are incredibly (masculine) toxic but would be the shit out of anyone who tried to say a man could be assaulted, or that men should be belittled and mistreated like women?( a rant?)

I remember I got called a terf like maybe two or three months ago and it bothers me because I worry if I could be aligned in that horrible theory. I always thought the main core of terfism was that you are “ gender critical “ and you ironically just like the patriarchy don't think a woman could ever be smart enough to know the difference in literally - anything? i like trans woman too many folks...i like women - cis and trans...they're cute and awesome ...so like how could you not?  Im bringing this up because as of late ive had a very angry and almost cold voice that respond when i see violence against women because people felt entitle to people bodies and just like school shootings and trumps camps I have to numb myself too it or otherwise i would literally go on a suicidal/homicidal spree.  “ a women’s death is nothing in comparison to a man’s freedom. a woman;s discomfort is nothing in the way of a man entitlement “ I dont like that phrase. i feel like if come off to me as the epitome of femi nzai if that’s even a thing anymore since the men who hated them are most likely real nazis. Listen im 28 and stuck in a house with two men who double-crossed me and are only taking care of me because i decided to quit my job. im only in this house with someone who i thought was literally going to harm and someone who stolen moeny from me becuase as a soceity i have been mold to bend until i break and be gaslighted as “ an irrational fuhmal” not even human if i bring it up. its 2019 and im still tlaking to people who think its ok to count thier two stay at home mothers as an example of why women get paid less because they work less but tell em that the 50 women i work with at a company dont count becuase that’s my just my feelings  and smirk and bring up “ toxic feminity” like that not a sub division of toxic masculinity - Because women DID NOT tell other women to compete with other women in order to get men  Because women DID NOT teach other women that it’s ok to hit men and that men shouldn't cry  Because other women DID NOT teach other women that men couldn't be raped, should always pay the bill Not in the beginning ...that was toxic masculinity but how dare I expect men to accountability for responsibility - that’s just one of the privileges of being a male. and stop telling women when they get hurt by a man that they should of got a guy form thier family. You mean the same guy who was allowed to walk around in thier underwear while i had to fully dress in my home at 9 years of fucking age because my body attracted raped and his didn't or as i like to say it “ boys will be boys but girls should know better by knowing nothing at all” 

Listen I don't think the world would be better if men didn't exist. I don't think the world would be better if men were put under the social pressure of women . Im just dont exist in this society any more as hetero passing individual because i dont get along with it’s morals. im so fucking tired of watching women dying because “ a man has his needs...and his excuses “ and before the misandry parade comes put the cuffs again - i dont mind being a misandrist as much as i don't want to be a terf but again im not looking to get in fights with men. I honestly wish i was invisible to them since seeing me as anything as a female is so socially ingrained is impossible and understanding - im not even mad. make go back in the kitchen jokes, shit on my existence, make me play this doll for the sake of your “ cool girl because if i dont letyou hug me, if i show even a sign of resistance to your sexual banter or your anti feminist logic or your victim-shaming statements...im no longer an object of convenience...and i potentially become a another death statistics  and to the “ protect the boys” brigade aka the people who come screaming from/the corner of this hellsite like someone told your child santa doesn't exist when a woman says something like  “ you know i like getting dress up for other women I try not to think about men “ “ im not here for emotionally unavalible boys” “ I'm not here for men who don't want to fix themselves” ” I'm not worried about children and men “ ” I didn't find him interesting so i didn't give him a chance ” and then you mofos come of the fucking woodwork screaming like a motherfucking banshee  ” BOYS NEED LOVE ! IF YOU DONT WANNA FiX HIm HOW IS HE GOING TO GROW ?!” ” DONT SAY MEN ARE TRASH ! TOXIC MASCULINITY IS A RESULT OF HIM NOT BEING LOVE PROPERLY !” ” IGNORE THEM BOYS WE WONT LET THEM FORGET YOU “ * animal like screeching To you ; you dont care about men. You care about the status quo. You think if men become “ as emotional as fuhmales “ (because half of you don't see women as anything but her genitals ) that they will break down. you don't want men to make a connection between the idea that men need to sex in order to be valuable even if that means taking it and that anyone who take sex is a rapist because then men would have to be accountable for their actions. They would feel bad and you wouldn't want your favorite child to feel bad, after all if they feel bad they cant let loose and be the “ best version” of themselves- even if that version of themselves is a fucking dumpster fire. You want them to be the full end of this spectrum at the expense of your less favorite child ( women ). You might be someone who just, in general, have fed into the bullshit that woman are liars ( another concept that makes it easier for rape culture to be prevalent and strong ) and that men are calm, collective beings who are being neglected thanks to feminism and woman not focusing on them. you might think “ well logically if you only tell men they're trash they're going to be trash “ Ive been told i was a bitch , a fake, a slob( that is true. i am dirty af and i will not put on deordorant unless someone coming), pathetic and useless.  I decide one day that if i didnt like any of those things i would change it , becuase if i didnt like being those things that i needed to change them for me. I CHANGE WHEN I DIDNT LIKE MYSELF and before anyone says anything i have had depression and anxeity. i have been gaslighted and bully for years but at the end of the day my change didi not come from people cheering me up or tearing me down it came from ME being critical of myself nad my actions. And that’s why you “ what about the boys” people dont love men as much as you say you do . You're so afraid of them becoming something more than your baby boy being more than what you want, greater than what society has allow that you would rather make in a pacified monster than a human being. you guys hate men and i cannot stand any of you  to the young man who has  been discriminated against because you weren't born as a cis male  were raped by women and wasn't respected by either woman or men when you look for support  gritted your teeth and read through all my rambling you're valid. you worried about having your whole life ruined by false rape accusations or in general, you are generally afraid of adding to a woman’s concern when it comes to men. you dont like being around certain woman becuase you feel they are too touchy are they are the one who the moment you dont find them attractive and everyone includes other men invalidate you're right to not want to be touch. you fucking have to control your urge to gut punch every time you here the phrase “ men are trash “ becuase you understand the phrase isnt about you and some smart ass is like “ if its not about you why are you getting mad “. Like we all know why you're mad - but we know you're better than that.  I appreciate you questioning your friends on thier used of rape jokes and trying to implied that sexual assault doesn't exist becuase “ if the guy attracted females dont complain “ I think you're wonderful...but i want out  becuase my death is just another occurrence. being someone’s property as a child, wife or even friend means nothing now. my death is nothing different than throwing out an aluminum can. i no longer wonder if the person im talking to is capable of rape. i know longer wonder if ill makes it home safely. i know get angry about wanting to do things like move out on my own, be respected by men and not feel that my feelings are constantly being pacified like a battery operated doll who the owner is cooing to work.  I expect it. and when it doesn't happen i hold my breath and try to not think about tomorrow where ill pretty much have the bar set that low again. I expected to have my feelings band aid with “ well im sorry someone hurt you “ or “ youre apart of the problem thinking like that”. when something im uncomfortable with happens i dont go out in a rage but belitting my feelings as “ sensitive” or “ stop being a bitch “ roll off me.  Humankind is capable of amazing thing and i know change is possible...but i dont expect it anytime soon. ....I really just want out. its 2019 and women are still getting killed becuase of entitlement and the only ing most of you is complain that it happens to men too.....Im tired of pretending this society cares if i was murder right now. you only careif i fit the commodity of the day...I want out for i am so very tired 

[ultralunary]

trans men: hm, i am sad that as a trans man, i don’t get to see myself in media as much. i am going to make a post telling people that trans men don’t get that much rep.  non trans fem people: OMG YOU ARE JUST GONNA THROW TRANS WOMEN UNDER THE BUS? EVEN THOUGH YOU SAID NOTHING ABOUT TRANS WOMEN? AND JUST WANTED TO SEE YOURSELF IN MEDIA? WOW YOU’RE SO INSENSITIVE AND TRANSMISOGYNISTIC LOL!!!!!!!!! LMAO  i am fucking sick and tired of you people. sometimes we need to fucking take one thing at a time. sometimes people just wanna see themselves in media. and have you ever realized we can focus on trans rep in general? when looking at that chart, most of it is CIS people. there’s not even nonbinary identities on that fucking chart. how about instead of fucking fighting each other about trans women rep (WHEN NONE OF YOU ARE FUCKING TRANSFEM IN THE FIRST PLACE) we focus on trans rep in general? or just let someone want to see themselves in media? or are we gonna talk over actual trans women and try to support them when you’re being unnecessarily harmful to someone who didn’t mean any harm to trans women in the first place?

[unadulteredunpopularopinions]

Mind the business that feeds you.

Let kids mind kid business and adults mind adult business. I find it so weird that there are  literally grown ass people commenting on Yaya Mayweather and calling her all types of names, etc.

If you as an adult think she needs help or guidance, then fine you can say that. But there are literal over-grown, over-baked ass adults 30+ (or at least look it) talking shit about her. There’s the saying “Black don’t crack” but these hateful people are really out here aging poorly. When you are so focused on hating a stranger who has done nothing to you, it will reflect in your life.

I think grown women need to stop talking crap about this girl (ESPECIALLY when 9/10 they admit they were the same way when young or ARE the same NOW, only difference is that bank account).

 She is 20 years old. I am only 24 and I still see no reason to be commenting on her. She is legal but I really feel so older than her. People did the same to Reginae (and still hate on her now), while she was still underage. They dragged that girl and talked mess about her appearance. Now, getting her breast done could have just been her decision for her OWN self-confidence. But, I am sure that years of strangers dragging her looks and comparing her to her friends and mom could have had some hand in it as well. And then y’all act surprised. Fuck out of here.

Also, as far as black men, I find it super weird when black men (i’m saying in general, if I, or anyone else, talk about black women, they’d be quiet, but they are so pressed for you to say NOT ALL BLACK MEN ) are so ready to down and humiliate Black women. For why? Did too many reject you as a child? Who hurt you?

 Like I don’t know, I find men of any ethnicity being so ready to insert themselves in women’s business to be highly feminine and unnecessary. And no being gay doesn’t give you a pass, you’re still a man. And no being trans doesn’t give you a pass, you are not biologically a woman. 

Like I guess I read too many romance novels because my impression of a man was that he minds his own business. No he doesn’t have to be perfect but jumping in to try and down, humiliate and harass black women is not it for me. 

Someone’s social media posts really tell alot about them. Relationships are like a job interview. They see everything you post, and too many people are to attention seeking to private their page. These posts really throw me off of dating people.

Like there are many men who post daily about how much they don’t like black women, or how they hate when black women do etc. Or there be the ones that be like, “get you a white woman!” And that’s fine, you can date outside your ethnicity. Go where you are appreciated. However, our problem is not that you want to date outside your ethnicity (go right on ahead!), it’s the fact that while doing so, you make sure to shit on women of your own ethnicity. 

MEANWHILE: NOT REPRESENTING ALL OBVIOUSLY, but a group of white women had a group chat where they were talking about how desperate Black men are for them. And who came to the defense of these black men, of course black men but also black WOMEN. And not to say there are some men who defend black women on the internet, but the majority of what we see is ‘black men disrespecting black women, black men calling black women undesirable, black women still coming out in droves to support and advocate for black men.

Not to say that men can’t possess the same feelings, but a woman is naturally nurturing. I have an aunt who did not want to have kids because of everything that came with it and the state of the country (and not everyone is a people or child person) but she is one of the most nurturing woman I know. 

Black women come out in droves to support because we (1) view it as right and (2) know that these black boys/men did not just originate from a man. These are OUR sons too, and when someone unjustly kills ONE person’s son/child, we would want that same support had it happened to us. The forefront of the BLM has always been about the black men that were killed, people started talking more about the black women killed later on. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvPQTwZa-V0

It just seems to me that people, including other black women, are obsessed with dragging black girls and women down. No shade really against her, but Ariana Grande and Miley Cyrus and even Britney Spears are not well-endowed but people LOVE them. 

Miley got flak when she called her self twerking by a lot of people and it is still a meme today, but no person is really out here full-on hating on her for her body type under every freaking post.

 And no they are not ugly, but people really go INSANE for them. They just look like regular women to me, nothing wrong with them. Ariana really looks like a child to me and this is no shade because I also look like a child to people, being 4’11 really has it’s disadvantages. Restaurants stay referring to me as a kid when out with my family.

Anyway:

I still remember when GROWN ass women and men (especially us black people) were dragging Beyonce’s daughter Blue Ivy for her hair and looks. There are STILL people that do it today. And people who drag Ari Lennox for her naturalness. 

People really have to stop holding celebrities to an ungodly level of pressure to look a certain way. Normalize our natural hair and bodies. Black men sure love to down black women for wearing wigs, extensions, etc (though women of other ethnicities DO IT AS WELL), but when a black woman goes natural, y’all drag her. I’m convinced these mugs are never satisfied. (there are so many men who comment on a women’s indecisiveness but I am convinced that men truly do not know wtf they want)

I remember when people used to Drag Gabby Sibde and constantly refer to her as precious. I remember Kanye’s song where he mentioned her as an insult. There were so many men that dragged her, BLACK men at that. She did in fact date black men and it never worked out, She told her story of how she went on dating sites specifically looking for black men, but those men’s matches were not women that looked like her. So she dated her now fiancee who is white. Now, Black men (the same ones thirsting under Kardashian or other WW posts) AND WOMEN are calling her all types of bedwenches, jezebels, slave whore etc…Why when Black men date outside their ethnicity, it is normal and most of the time even ENCOURAGED by other black men with their reasoning being “black women are etc..”, but when a black woman dates outside her ethnicity., all of a sudden that man can’t possibly love you, you are a plaything to him etc. 

I’ll be the first to admit that she is unhealthy or rather was. But that doesn’t mean that she is undeserving of love. I am 153 lbs at 4’11. I am unhealthy. That doesn’t mean I am unworthy of love or deserve to be humiliated in PUBLIC or private. We black people also claim to be a united front but a lot of y’all are just shit talkers, trolls bothering people you don’t even know. 

People take this freedom of speech shit too far.

How can you expect other ethnicities to respect you or take you seriously when all day you shit on your own ethnicity??? 

[transgaysex]

also i dont know how many times you guys need to have this drilled into your brains but trying to being attention to issues that trans men face means absolutely fucking nothing if your point entirely or partially throws trans women under the bus for it. it doesnt matter how good your argument is. it doesnt matter how pressing the argument is. if you try to support a valid argument by being hurtful to trans women you need to shut the fuck up

[sweetiepie1990]

(part 1)hi there! im a different anon than the other but i have a couple questions if u dont mind my asking? the first is that I've started seeing people use latinx more than latin@, and im wondering if there's a specific reason u use the latter? just curious. also,, as someone who's been questioning my gender lately but who has struggled to find a way to discuss this w my family, i was wondering if u had any advice, or would share some of ur experience? i come from a mexican-american family....

I’m assuming there’s a part two but I haven’t gotten it yet. But sit down, take a load off. Some asshole wouldn’t stop trolling me earlier. Which means I’m fired up and ready to talk.

They both mean the same thing. Literally the only difference is preference. But I prefer the arroba (the @ symbol) because it can look like a lot of different variations of o and a at once (so it covers a lot of diff gender identities). Honestly, it’s nothing too new. I remember around 2012 around here, a lot of people where using the term Latin (pronounced like the first two syllables of latino). People are constantly constructing and reconstructing words to make new and better meanings.

Fuck anyone who tells you that Latino is gender neutral and the “correct grammar”. It implies the default is male/masculine. That’s like writing white as the default skin tone–it’s bigoted, narrow minded, and utter bullshit. Plus, if most Spanish words to describe emerging technology are basically borrowed from English, saying LatinX or Latin@ will not destroy the language.

See? I’m worked up. Sorry.

Talking with your family is rough, I get it. It’s terrifying no matter how accepting they may be of other trans people. First? I learned early on that my mom constantly misgenders everyone. She doesn’t even mean to but English is her second language and her default is third person singular in Spanish (which in a way is gender neutral because it’s “he/she/it/they”). She calls my cis sister he more often than she and she still hasn’t completely gotten used to using they/them pronouns for me.

Sometimes it feels like I’m making excuses for her? But I also see her struggling to stop herself and think about pronouns. It’s not a lot, but it’s a start. (I had to explain to her the other day that a trans man can totally be gay. It’s a process…Honestly, I didn’t know being enby was a thing until my best friend came out to me. I didn’t get it for the longest time, but I kept quiet and was supportive for them and I’m really glad I did. It’s tough being trans when there’s little to no representation out there.) That being said, you’re under no obligation to put in that emotional labor, especially if you’re still figuring out who you are.

When I came out as bi, my mom asked if I was sure. We basically had a conversation where she tried to nicely talk me out of it. It hurt like a fucking bitch. We didn’t talk about it again until after everything that happened with my ex. She believed me after that. And I think ever since then, if I tell her something about myself she does her best to listen and try to understand. Which isn’t ideal how we got here but I’m glad she’s like this now.

(I know a few other Latin@s whose parents came around eventually because they were clueless their kids came out. It seems to be a trait that Latin@ countries don’t talk about queer identities nearly as much as they should)

Ummm, tips? Start by talking a little more generally, and throw in a bit about racism if that’s a discussion they’re more responsive to. For me, gender in US culture is weird. They’re not as physically affectionate, cis women are really limited by body types, cis men by their height. How fucking Eurocentric the beauty industry here, I think, makes it really hard to be a POC and to be cis.

In general, if you frame it as “I want to feel more [gender assigned at birth]” I find that Latin@ parents are more responsive to that. They open up more about their experiences and (hopefully) you can engage them in some really meaningful discussions. Maybe you can turn their viewpoints totally upside down.

I’m a big advocate for “getting your family on a similar page before you open up to them”. But I also know how isolating that can feel. I’d say figure out who can be in your corner and work your way up to coming out to who you can trust.

Hope this helps

[lostmyurl]

This is a personal post about my own identity, about some realizations I have long since been coming to, something I need to get out and organize and get off my chest, so please don't come here with any generalizing comments, or about how I'm generalizing people. This is me, my experience, my dysphoria, my life. If you want to reblog or leave a comment or something, or inbox me, or something, you're more than free to, just please, please realize that this is about a post me and my self-image alone. As a kid, I always wanted to be a scout. Always. I never did, though. We only had Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts back in Texas, and in Poland, too. Idk. It just didn't sit right with me to be included in "oh, just girls here" or "oh, just boys here." I don't like gender-separated areas, and I never did, even if I didn't know why it put me off so much. I mean, I guess I didn't know when I was that young that it was dysphoria speaking up? But as I got older, and I started to hit puberty, shit just started getting a LOT worse. I had a period of time where I decided, nope, you're DEFINITELY a cis girl, I wore so much pink it was bizarre and outrageous. I like the color still, just… I feel bad because I associate it with that period of time really intensely. So I can't wear it at all or I just… hm. It's a shame, really. It's such a nice color. But it's just tied to so many memories of trying to wipe out anything I felt that didn't fit. After that, it was a period of 'so what the fuck are you?' Anybody who knew me about two years ago knew I kept changing my mind, trying to figure out what was going on because nothing felt right. A friend had to suggest it, if maybe I wasn't just imagining things/had low self esteem/was gnc, and really, for the longest time, I wondered if I was a closeted trans boy. But while being addressed as "he" helped, it didn't feel right, either. It was SO LONG until I realized that what actually felt right wasn't the decision to use "he" or "she," it was the actual moment of hesitation, the fact that I was presenting androgynously enough for it to be unclear. It's… still really really frustrating and muddled, but I've figured out enough about reading testimonies from trans people to know that what I'm experiencing is definitely a combination of dysphoria and euphoria. Here's the thing, though. There's a distinct line between nonbinary and gender-nonconforming (gnc). Being gnc would mean that I wouldn't feel uncomfortable or wrong when somebody used a set of binary pronouns for me in accordance with my assigned sex, or even the one across the binary. You can be gnc and cis, or gnc and binary trans, and one doesn't preclude the other. And neither of those means nonbinary. It's an identity that's… okay. TMI, I guess, but ideally? In a world of people who identify as men and women, I'd like to inspect my own body, go on a character selection screen, and remove all primary and secondary sex characteristics traditionally thought of as belonging to binary genders. Penis? Wrong. Vagina? Wrong. Boobs? Wrong. Facial hair? Wrong. Hourglass figure? Wrong. "Dorito" figure? Wrong. Et cetera. Et cetera. I'd like to be freed from all of those and I don't know why it's weighing on me so heavily. Delete, delete, delete, even if it meant leaving me a near-featureless default doll. Before anybody accuses me of hating people, I don't mind any of those traits on anybody else. This is my own body I'm talking about, a truly personal experience and an idealized dream. In dreams, I am occasionally perceived as male, rarely as female. Regardless, whenever I can remember, I have always been "other" in my dreams. You know- like on multiple choice exams, 'A,' 'B,' 'C,' 'D,' 'none of the above is correct'? Like that. I first learned that nonbinary genders were a thing from a classmate. Pejoratively. Like they were other, lesser, freaks. "What do you mean, neither? You can't be neither." It was religious studies class, that I remember. Of course, that wasn't the word they used. It was "homo-niewiadomo," a partially reclaimed slur that literally translates to "homo-who knows really" and doesn't just refer to gay people but any people falling under the queer umbrella as a whole. I was torn between "what???" and this kind of "that's a thing?" My next experience was on tumblr. I met a wonderful person who actually lives in my city. We've met nowadays. Years later. I was a kid then, maybe 15? 16? They said… I don't remember what it was. Gender-questioning? Something like that? I didn't pretend to understand, not yet, but I wanted to know more. All this sounds like I've had a lot of influence, but really, so much of it was based on introspection, questioning, doubting. Yeah, self-harm happened, too, whether by actually drawing blood or intentionally forcing myself to embrace hyperfemininity or by pushing myself to the point where I can't wear a color I love because it has all those negative associations with things I did to myself, things I said, trying to cut off unwieldy and inconvenient parts of my personality and decide I'm "moving on." I did the same thing about being autistic, about being ADD, and I look back on that now and realize that all I was doing was ensuring both my mental health and my physical health suffered. And my grades. Those dropped too. Performance in all respects. I ruined a lot of friendships that way. I guess some of that is a behavior learned from my parents. Forbid anything that's not productive or conductive to school that you're too "dependent" on. It's… really the worst fragment of their parenting (I think it's how they approach themselves, too) I could've possibly internalized. And something that disappeared basically overnight as soon as I was old enough to point out it wasn't actually helping, it was hurting. Now it's just there in my head, eating at me. They're not bad people. They're not bad parents. They treat us like human beings, instead of like enemies to trap in a maze of "because I said so" and arbitrary obstacles, like so many fakey-nice perfect suburban American families I've seen. They're learning, too, their home lives weren't perfect and they're not prepared to deal with a neurodivergent (not "normal") kid at ALL. They're always so confused about how "brilliant" I am and how I have trouble with "easy" stuff, about how I get overwhelmed with too much input. About how no, exposing me to that input doesn't help, it just increases the chances of a grown adult having to lock themselves in a dark room bawling into a pillow because it's /too much/. The truth is, I don't know. I know that what I need to alleviate dysphoria is basically impossible. That unlike a binary trans person I do not have the possibility to transition and eventually attain the body I identify with. This is why I can't go back to the Bible Belt, or attend a super-religious school I might've gotten a good scholarship from. I can't. If I had to go back to all that, to dressing up and doing makeup and "girl talk" and asserting over and over and over that I am like you, I am like you, I am like you, I would lose my sense of identity completely. What fragile sense I've even built up for myself. A person I can be now, somebody I almost like. Not quite, but almost. It's progress. So much progress. I'd go back to hating myself for not being like you, yes, of course I'm crushing on a boy, oh, yes, absolutely, please help me look more feminine more often, I'm just a clueless tomboy who doesn't know what she's missing :) :) :) If you're a girl who loves engaging in typically feminine activity, I support you and your interests, as I would if you were anybody else and your interests didn't hurt anybody. But it's not for me, and honestly, it's silly, but so many of my nightmares involve people turning on me and deciding they'll help me look more like I'm supposed to, be like I'm supposed to. "You have such a beautiful woman's body! Don't throw it all away!" you can have it you can have it you can HAVE it please take everything, take the horrible breasts, take the horrible curves and the horrible cinched waist and the awful "delicate features" right off my face. I don't want these. I can't be grateful for something that I look in the mirror and I feel can't belong to me, it shouldn't. It's wrong. That's not me. Please don't tell me "you're a pretty girl, you should appreciate it," don't tell me I'd like it more if I wore more skirts, I promise, I TRIED that. I did. I tried all the possible ways of loving myself and embracing a female identity in both gender-role-conforming ways and not. It doesn't work. It's like a software patch called "gender" was installed in almost everybody's brains except my own. All I'm left with is extraneous hardware that acts as malware without the driver patch. In a way, though, things are looking up. I've managed to figure out a thousand and one ways to avoid the entire (gendered) past tense in the language I speak at home. I've figured out a thousand more ways to avoid revealing, I've learned to see when I'm succeeding and when I've slipped up, when their eyes shine in triumph and they finally use binary pronouns without asking. Would it be so hard to ask? I'm not even sure what I'd say except "thank you." It's only happened once to my face without snark and it was the best thing I'd ever heard. I blew it. I wasn't expecting it. I shrugged and said "whichever you please" because I got so flustered, I didn't know how to respond. It was unexpected. It was wonderful. I should've said "neither, really." I could've said "I'd prefer not to say." If I hadn't been speaking Polish, I would have asked for “they.” Maybe. If I had the guts. "Whichever you please" was a step in the right direction though… right? This post doesn't have a point. Not really. Just laying some stuff out in text because they finally make sense that way. If you want to send hate, save it for other posts, okay? Have a shred of dignity and comment on posts tagged discourse, or posts in which I express an opinion about something that isn't this introspective.

[radthursdays]

#RadThursdays Roundup 06/29/2017

A tweet by @ccspox with a picture of them holding a sign that asks, "Who gave me the right to marry?" The Supreme Court is crossed out, and the answer, "trans women of color throwing bricks at cops" is circled. The tweet says, "ready for #SFPride tomorrow 🌹". Source.

Pride

Softball: A tiny comic by Sophia Foster-Dimino‏ (alt text for the images), created for the Queers & Comics Conference.

Decolonial Love: A How-To Guide: "At its heart, decolonial love is actively creating a space for our histories as Indigenous/racialized survivors of colonization (we’re all survivors, babe) to be acknowledged within our relationships. Decolonial love is an accountable love that reciprocates our beauty and wholeness as Indigenous/racialized peoples. Decolonial love steps out of western heterosexuality, homosexuality, and queerness to form unique bonds between two people, regardless of gender or sexuality. Decolonial love also affirms our partner’s gender and spirit. It embraces our bodies as they are, whether this is brown or white, larger or smaller, and cis or trans. Decolonial love is simply love as we are, broken and figuring it out together."

A tweet by @newyorkyearzero with a picture of a New York City Correction Department's prisoner transport van. The van has "NYCD" and "CORRECTION" in huge rainbow font and the slogan "Pride, Equality, Peace". The tweet says, "take a pride ride in the gay prisoner transport van". Source.

Our Work Isn't Done

Trans-Led Coalition Shuts Down Chicago Pride Parade: "Trans and queer communities, leading groups of accomplices, gather in a unified stance against the annual Chicago Pride Parade and Festival. We disavow the numerous atrocities done to the legacies of our ancestors and foremothers in the movement for trans and queer liberation, and the ever-increasing corporatization, whitewashing, gentrification, racism, and cisnormativity that have infused Pride for decades. This year, like so many years before, our communities have reached a breaking point. The trans community of Chicago has risen up to explicitly denounce the Chicago Pride Parade and Festival, and to announce our intention to once again form our own spaces, to better serve and represent our own pride and liberation. The Compton’s Cafeteria Riots and the Stonewall Riots are how we mark the legacy of Pride: Strong, proud, and unapologetic trans resistance in the face of a world that continues to prefer our bodies as corpses in the ground, rather than revolutionaries in the streets."

How Can The Queerest Generation (Ever) Still Believe In Gender Roles?: "Would millennial men’s opinions about gender be different if gay marriage had gone down a more feminist path? Maybe not: Toxic masculinity is strong in this country, and misogyny at home seems to be especially intractable. But imagine the impact we could have had; instead of gay cake toppers and vapid “love is love” slogans, a campaign that had invested the hundreds of millions of dollars spent on gay marriage advocacy to building support for brave trans teenagers. Imagine a movement that stood up for its trans and gender nonconforming members as fiercely as Black Lives Matter does. Or, at the very least, imagine a gay marriage movement that had refused to abandon trans people to pass legislation. Success might have taken longer that way; I might not be gay-married right now. But if that meant that both cis and trans women dealt with less daily oppression, then I have to think I’d be okay with that."

Queer and Chechen: No Place To Hide: Video of a panel discussion with Russian LGBT activists who have spearheaded evacuation efforts of gay men in Chechnya who have been held in unlawful detention centers, tortured, and killed as part of a campaign against LGBT people. You can also read text notes and a summary of the talk, originally posted on the RUSA LGBTIQ – San Francisco Bay Area Facebook page.

Riot police officers arrest LGBT activists during a gay pride rally in St. Petersburg, Russia in June 2013. The rally was considered illegal under the Russian federal law “for the Purpose of Protecting Children from Information Advocating for a Denial of Traditional Family Values”, which targets those who “promote non-traditional sexual relations to minors” and was unanimously approved by the State Duma just weeks before this photo was taken. Source.

Fucking Over Poor People

The End Will Be Delivered By Amazon Drone: If something else doesn't kill us first. "'The rich will sit secure in the knowledge that their replicators and robots can provide for their every need. What of the rest of us?' Frase argues, persuasively, that a world ravaged by disease and hunger brought on by climate change, combined with the total independence of the wealthy from the need for human labor, will lead to mass extermination. 'In a world of hyperinequality and mass unemployment, you can try to buy off the masses for a while, and then you can try to repress them by force. But so long as immiserated hordes exist, there is the danger that one day it may become impossible to hold them at bay. When mass labor has been rendered superfluous, a final solution lurks: the genocidal war of the rich against the poor. …An exterminist society can automate and mechanize the process of suppression and extermination, allowing the rulers and their minions to distance themselves from the consequences of their actions.' The Bezoses and Thiels of the future will not even have to get their hands dirty. In his conclusion, Frase points out that this isn’t so implausible. The descendants of the exterminators may not even feel too guilty about it. How, after all, did North America come to provide such an abundant home for the children of European conquerors?"

After the Fire: "As with many similar buildings across the country the exterior of Grenfell Tower had recently been covered in an aesthetically pleasant cladding—partly to increase insulation; partly, and, many suspect predominately, to please the eyes of wealthier residents of the surrounding area. This morning, Scotland Yard announced that the panels had failed safety tests conducted as part of its investigation, and that a manslaughter enquiry was consequently being launched. The Metropolitan Police have “seized . . . material” from various companies involved in installing the renovation work. Though it’s too soon to know exactly where the blame lies, it has become clear that an active decision was made to convert a tower housing hundreds of low income, predominately ethnic minority individuals into a twenty-four-storey tinder box."

The Fire Last Time: “Against a welfare state founded partly on the idea of redistributing social and physical risks — the risks of unemployment, of injury, of poor health — we have a property system that actively produces risk for specific sets of people. This system manufactures, sustains, and transfers risk onto working-class people. Then it burns down their homes, willing to sacrifice lives in the pursuit of profit.”

Gay rights activist Barbara Gittings picketing Independence Hall in Philadelphia, PA in 1965. Her sign reads “HOMOSEXUALS should be judged as individuals.” Source.

Issues

Why Are So Many Adults Today Haunted by Trauma?: "I think normalcy is a myth. The idea that some people have pathology and the rest of us are normal is crude. There’s nothing about any mentally ill person—and it doesn’t matter what their diagnosis is—that I couldn’t recognize in myself. The reality is that, in every case, mental illness is an outcome of traumatic events. And by trauma I don’t mean dramatic events. There’s a difference. Fundamentally, it has to do with whether human needs are being met or not. Since we live in a society that largely denies human developmental needs—doesn’t even understand them, let alone provide for them—you’re going to have a lot of people affected in adverse ways. Most of the population, in fact. And so then to separate out those who meet the particular criteria for a particular diagnosis from the rest of us is utterly unscientific and unhelpful. More to the point, you need to look at what is it about our society that generates what we call abnormality?"

Trump’s travel ban will go into effect tonight: "The Supreme Court reinstated parts of President Trump’s travel ban this week, banning nationals from six Muslim-majority countries — with the exception of those who have a 'credible claim of a bona fide relationship' to a person or entity in the U.S. — until it hears oral testimony on the case in the fall. […] The State Department also limited which family relationships are considered 'close' enough to be bona fide. Only 'close family' members like spouses, parents (including in-laws), siblings (including step-siblings), and children (again, in-laws included) of U.S. citizens from the six countries included in the ban can enter the country, the cable reveals. Grandparents, cousins, nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters-in-law, fiancés, and other 'extended' family members of U.S. citizens aren’t considered close enough to make the cut. 'Even if the actual familial relationships may seem distant through the lens of American culture, they may not be distant in those cultures. Also just factually, there are people who aren’t closely related to you, in that sense of the term, but they’re still close to you. How do they prove the bona fides of their relationship?' It’s unclear whether refugees who have already connected with resettlement agencies in the U.S. will be allowed to enter the country."

Activism

More than 40 protesters arrested in 'die-in' at Capitol. Many forcibly removed from wheelchairs: "Dozens of disabled men and women were arrested after participating in a 'die-in' protest outside of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's office at the Capitol. The demonstration, organized by the national disability group ADAPT, was staged in response to the Senate GOP's healthcare plan, which proposes drastic cuts to Medicaid. It's the primary source of funding for services that allow [disabled people] to live at home, sparing them from institutionalization."

All the News You Didn’t Even Know Was Going Down: News about protests against the Republican health care plan, Trump presidency awfulness, a law in North Carolina that makes it "legal for men to finish a sex act as long as it began consensually", ongoing reports of abuse against J20 protestors, killer cops, deportation resistance, and indigenous resistance.

Illustrated Guide to Political Prisoners and Prisoners of War: Updated listing of prisoners by the NYC Anarchist Black Cross. Write a letter!

Direct Action Item

Did you know that the World Health Organization classified homosexuality as a mental health disorder until 1990? LGBTQ+ rights have expanded substantially in recent years, but things are still shit basically everywhere, and getting worse. So consider giving some of those sweet capitalist exploitation-bucks to these well-reviewed charities, selected for Pride Month by Charity Navigator.

Seven colorful muppets stand side by side, forming a rainbow. The muppets are, in order: red, orange, yellow, green, turquoise, indigo, and violet, as in the 7-color version of the Rainbow flag. Source.

If there’s something you’d like to see in next week’s #RT, please send us a message.

In solidarity!

What is direct action? Direct action means doing things yourself instead of petitioning authorities or relying on external institutions. It means taking matters into your own hands and not waiting to be empowered, because you are already powerful. A “direct action item” is a way to put your beliefs into practice every week.

[nicemango-feed]

Empowering Islamists under Trumpism

Apart from the glaring, 'handing ISIS a great recruiting tool' effect,  there are many other ways in which Islamists are being empowered in this climate. So many people exist on the edge of extremism, and Trump will tip them over & convince them, that yes they are at war with the West. 

Trump's "Muslim ban" will be counterproductive to keeping America safe and assist with terrorist recruitment https://t.co/thgTsW5pHh

— David Pakman (@dpakman) February 1, 2017

This chaotic, potentially dangerous, and inhumane ‘muslim ban’ (which The White House is now saying isn’t a ban, after calling it a ban themselves on multiple occasions)...has many consequences…some of them obviously horrific…separating families, handcuffing children & generally creating chaos around the world - But other effects are less obvious, less noticeable...and can slip under our radars. 

It's important to keep an eye out for those. 

Donald Trump's White House says 5-year-old boy was 'handcuffed' because he was a 'security threat' https://t.co/bbVEFQ5GvK

— The Independent (@Independent) January 31, 2017

.@jaketapper with a remarkable 2-minute fact-check on @PressSec http://pic.twitter.com/GGjQ21GMUb

— Nolan D. McCaskill (@NolanDMcCaskill) January 31, 2017

*

Islam is Being Held in Higher Regard Each Day

Amidst all the false accusations of ‘Islamophobia' even when people of muslim background would raise their voices to mildly critique something like misogyny or homophobia in their own communities….there were some people spouting legitimate anti muslim bigotry, right alongside them… 

Unfortunately, that has boiled over.

The resistance to allow open discussion of Islam, caused a massive failure to address grievances with Islamic extremism.

This left the floor open for the right to swoop in and fear monger, campaign from an angle of xenophobia…it couldn’t be more obvious than in a time like this. Where muslims are being singled out by the fucking president of the United States...and banned. 

This is a time where innocent muslims were shot while peacefully practising their faith, by a far-right, deranged Trump and Marine Le Pen supporter. People’s hijabs are being ripped off in the street, we hear of such stories more and more. The emboldened bigotry vibe seems infectious - people who were always slightly sympathetic, are more and more comfortable sharing their feelings now.  

What do right wing nationalists want exactly? What does Trump want? If he really hates muslims, he's achieving the opposite of making them a widely detested group.

Artwork by Shepard Fairey

This Sunday, mosques around the UK will open their doors to their neighbours. Find out how to get involved here > https://t.co/GtG0WS44jI http://pic.twitter.com/QTlRubE7tW

— Ben & Jerry's UK (@benandjerrysUK) February 2, 2017

In fact, he’s doing an excellent job of victimizing them to such a degree that Islam/Muslims are being held in higher and higher regard each day. Its becoming 'the anti Trump', the symbol of defiance…to a problematic degree actually. The pendulum always swings too far.  It swung too far right in opposition of the left's defensiveness around Islam, and now it is swinging further in favour of islam. There are reactionaries on either side - and their pendulums are a' swingin'.  The reasoned voices will become increasingly invisible. 

I try not to be hyperbolic, but on my worst days I fear we’re headed to a place where the polarization won’t stop till it gets to 'Nazis vs. Jihadists'

But that apocalyptic scenario is a whole other blogpost in itself. 

*

Muddying The Water 

Now, I’m a long time critic of hijab and Islamic modesty garb - but I come at it as a person who cares about equality, feminism, minority rights…compassion, and someone who truly wants the best for the Muslim community. I just feel the best would be a move towards secularism, a dismantling of orthodoxy and a shedding of its most patriarchal misogynistic symbols...and honest open conversation. 

From a previous post - artwork by yours truly

From a previous post - artwork by yours truly

There are also others who jump on this hijab-critical bandwagon, and because of them, we can almost never have a baggage-free and clear discussion about what an awful practice it really is. Those people are the xenophobes - who hate it because it’s different, its 'of the other'. They are not concerned with women’s rights…especially not with the rights of Muslims, be they men or women. They make that plain as day, repeatedly by participating in far-right, nativist movements, immigrant demonization, support for Trumpian bans…but they don’t hesitate to use “muslim women” as a point scoring technique in their displays of faux-minism. 

From a Pegida Rally in Birmingham in 2016 Image from here

Astounding hypocrisy from an anti immigrant far-righter who doesn't care a bit about Saudi women.. only uses them. http://pic.twitter.com/rASvGmW8Mx

— Eiynah -- (@NiceMangos) February 1, 2017

Anne Marie Waters, co heads Pegida UK with 'white genocide' lunatic, Paul Weston and ex leader of the far right group EDL, Tommy Robinson. 

< ppl who legitimately hate immigrants using hijab-criticism to further hatred is what makes ppl want to glorify hijabs.

— Eiynah -- (@NiceMangos) February 1, 2017

You may have seen these faux-minists come out in response to the hugely successful women’s march protest. Their caring about muslim women is limited to furthering their own agenda, and pointing the finger away from any feminist efforts in the west. 

These obscurantists continuously fall prey to the fallacy of relative privation, or “not as bad as” fallacy…. a silencing tactic commonly used by people on the right to minimize fights for equality in the West. Be they women’s rights, trans rights, whatever..

"Oh feminists in the West think its ok to parade around in silly pussy hats and protest? They have it so good here… what about women in the Middle East? They are being caned for immodesty, stoned for adultery. *Those* are the women you should be fighting for." 

All this is, is basically trying to shame those who want to better their situation here. 

I cannot stress this enough: Just because things are worse in Saudi Arabia, doesn’t mean we in the West cannot also fight for betterment on our scale. 

This is called progress. 

There will always be something worse to point to.

The islamic right also uses this tactic.. 

"Oh you think Islam is bad? Islam fought for women's rights...You should have seen what they were doing before Islam, burying girl babies. Be thankful you don’t have it as bad, and appreciate how far we’ve come." 

In Pakistan I always heard, "Why are you complaining about Pakistan… at least we don’t have morality police and enforced burqas like Saudi Arabia." 

One I often hear from fellow atheists is:

"Oh you pathetic bleeding heart liberals, fighting for trans rights? Here you are arguing about what pronouns to use while ISIS is throwing gay people off buildings. " 

From Trump Supporters:

"Oh you think Pence is bad? They *kill* gays in Saudi Arabia! "

"Oh you think Trump’s Muslim ban is bad? What about Saudi Arabia not letting any non Muslims into Mecca? What about THAT ban?" 

Hey #Saudi! When will you lift your BAN on non-Muslims even entering ONE step in Mecca? Exit ramp: for non-Muslims. #NoBanNoWall http://pic.twitter.com/0svuAQIsLg

— Asra Q. Nomani (@AsraNomani) January 27, 2017

Hey Iran! How about lifting your BAN against the entry of women like @NaziPaiki @Fide_chess who don't cover their hair? #NoBanNoWall

— Asra Q. Nomani (@AsraNomani) January 27, 2017

"Oh hindu nationalist extremists are bad? They only rarely kill ppl for eating beef, at least they aren’t suicide bombers."

and my personal favourite: “Oh you think Trump is bad, at least he’s better than Mohammed"

Yes, congrats he’s better than a 7th century desert warlord who married a child. His values as president of the US in 2017 are better than those in 7th century arabia…what a high bar you have! 

Not to mention, Isis is pretty much a gift to extremists and apologists of far-right movements everywhere. It’s the worst thing of our times, something they can always, always point to that they are better than… 

This is what people do when they don’t want to address the thing in question. 

The left has it’s versions of  'not as bad as' too, the same way it has it’s versions of faux-minists, like those who champion the hijab carelessly as a feminist symbol, or those who think Sharia apologist Sarsour was a good pick to lead the Women's march. 

And I’m sure we’ve all fallen prey to this fallacy at some point or another - but the levels of this I’m seeing on the right nowadays are astronomical, its a running theme not an occasional slip. Panicked flailing attempts at diverting attention from the total mess that Trump's created. 

There’s even a whole new type of 'stealth right' movement that insists its on the left….they insist they are not fans of Trump or Milo… but they spend unimaginable amounts of time defending these people they supposedly dislike, they spend a disproportionate amount of time criticizing those who oppose these people…(but i swear, they don’t like them or anything).  

"I don't like Trump, (I just ALWAYS oppose those who oppose him)" - I see you. 👁️👁️

— Eiynah -- (@NiceMangos) February 1, 2017

@alexmassie It's a whole new punditry genre. "People who are embarrassed to admit they like Trump so instead attack people who don't."

— Hugo Rifkind (@hugorifkind) January 31, 2017

(As for Milo protests and Nazi punches: for the record I’m against violence, and find it to be an ineffective tactic, one that sets a worrying precedent for people who others may perceive as ‘dangerous’. If we leave it up to the public to decide who’s dangerous, some will get it terribly wrong. And ‘dangerous' is subjective too..to a hardcore theist, there’s nothing more dangerous than a charming, well spoken atheist who dismantles the terrible ideas so revered in holy books. This is a slippery slope that could effect ex-muslims, atheists, satanists…muslims even. This also fuels Milo’s fire, gives him more publicity, more support. I think that creative campaigns to peacefully and wittily protest his appearances would be more effective. 

So yes I feel all that, but I am also not compelled do defend him or Richard Spencer for days on end on social media, nor would I be compelled to defend or shed any tears over Anjem Choudary, if he got punched).

*

Ripe climate for Islamists to frame Criticism as Victimization

Non muddied water and clear distinctions/discussions are important now..more than ever. If you retweet, promote or associate with far-right critics of Islam, you are damaging this discussion, and making it harder. 

This climate of genuine muslim victimization is a time when extremists sneak in their rhetoric and leverage the situation for their benefit. Since the Muslim ban I have seen Islamists tweeting furiously against anyone critical of hijabs or any security or safety bans on modesty garb, like in the airport. This is being framed as further ‘victimization' of an already victimized group. 

Yes...Trump is victimizing muslims, we must strongly condemn and oppose it. 

But Islamism is an ongoing problem, allowing face coverings in places others are not allowed to cover should not be framed as part of this victimization. 

Hijabs on children should not be crept into the mainstream discussion as 'acceptable', just because, Trump is victimizing Muslims. 

Two things at once, Trump is an anti muslim bigot, hijabs on kids are also wrong. 

Trump is an anti muslim bigot, but that doesn’t mean that everything to do with Islam is automatically amazing and should be free from criticism. 

Two things at once.

Christian homophobia sucks, so does Muslim homophobia - and we still have a long way to go with rights for LGBT Muslims. Don’t let Islamists frame legitimate criticism in this time, as unfair scrutiny. 

There are more events now, being organized for people to wear the hijab 'in solidarity'… the hijab is a garment mostly used to oppress women in the Muslim world. 

There are kids events, card-making marathons  “to islam” "with love” ...cringe....cringe...cringe

I am 10000% for solidarity with muslims, but this is turning into fetishization of a religion. And one that commands more orthodoxy than other major present day ones.

Imagine this happening over Christianity…it’s just as cringeworthy to liberals of Muslim background who are struggling and fighting for change. 

No one has the right to take your modesty from you. Supporting sisters who are being forced to give up their right to cover #IStand4Hijab http://pic.twitter.com/XpUwaZGtVo

— Mufti Ismail Menk (@muftimenk) January 17, 2017

Of course you stand for hijab, your goal *is* to keep women covered and less visible in the public sphere, ffs. 

You know how people in the west laugh at this christian persecution complex, mostly because there is no persecution whatsoever…*but* imagine if in an environment where Christians were legitimately being mistreated, people like Ken Ham swept in to push creationism in schools … free from scrutiny. And if you pushed back, you were automatically 'piling on'. Or if Westboro baptist wanted to push their nasty hateful agendas under the cover of Christian persecution. 

Be wary, is all I’m saying. Stand with muslims, yes...but don’t let anyone tell you Islam is above criticism. More important now, for us to take this discussion in a liberal direction, rather than let the far right own it. Maybe we can start chipping away at their hate, with better alternatives. 

There are more countries and communities that force niqab, but gay bashing cleric mufti menk decides to ignore that. #WorldHijabDay2017 http://pic.twitter.com/HQV3aXjGeQ

— zeeshan (@zeeshxlifex) February 1, 2017

I’m all for women having the right to choose their modesty coverings if they truly have a choice and they want to perpetuate this practice, but the disproportionate focus on women’s right TO wear something that majority of women wearing it in the world get forced into, is in incredibly bad taste…its preventing liberals from muslim backgrounds from gaining the same equality for women that has been won in the west.

Today we celebrate a woman's right to wear the hijab! #WorldHijabDay #RightToCover #IStand4Hijab #Hijabi #WomensRights #No2H8 http://pic.twitter.com/SvqlMUE8xl

— Faith Matters (@FaithMattersUK) February 1, 2017

How cute! #worldhijabday #istand4hijab http://pic.twitter.com/W1NAby9x9D

— World HijabDay (@WorldHijabDay) January 20, 2017

Dressing children up in hijab is essentially sexualizing children. Something liberals in the muslim world have fought consistently against. It’s a garment meant to ‘protect women from the lust of men’ what sort of message are we glorifying here…

Privileged to have been appointed Ambassador for Gibraltar for World Hijab Day. Watch this space 😉 #WorldHijabDay #IStand4Hijab http://pic.twitter.com/MewQsZsbLV

— Nadia Esserti (@NadzE00) January 19, 2017

imagine how this message sounds to someone who has had run ins with morality police, who have enforced this type of modesty…here we are, in the West... promoting campaigns that are telling people to ‘cover up for a day’, akin to 'try this chastity belt for a day.' 

----

Don't let 'anti-Trump' become synonymous with 'Islam is awesome', similarly... don't let Islam-critical perspectives be conflated with pro-Trump illiberal, intolerant ones. We must open another door, for liberal, compassionate critique of Islam as any other religion.

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[indigonation]

okay, so I attended the march on washington and first and foremost it was definitely an amazing thing in its essence and its spread worldwide which created a large sense of unity and support, was unlike anything before. in its essence it was an amazing accomplishment across the globe anddid a lot of good. However, I would like to speak about some aspects of the march that have been greatly bothering me upon reflection, and especially in the moments in which it happened. 

Firstly, A LOT of white women, I mean A LOT. which! is not to say I am disappointed in POC, on the contrary, I am disappointed in white women for making their main issue of the march their “pussies” and said “pussies” being pink (aka really only white vaginas are pink...). I am also disappointed that such an amazingly diverse group of people created this march, and such an amazingly diverse group of people spoke, yet, the march itself was essentially hijacked by white women who found themselves to be the epitome of oppressed. Obviously, in this time of Trump, we are all in danger now, (except for rich white men) and now more than ever is not the time to fight, it is a time to band together. However, this is not what I observed within the march; not exactly. I, being white, definitely felt a sense of unity and was very inspired, however, it was impossible not to notice how unwelcoming or terrifying a large percentage of this crowd could be to POC. I myself, was holding a sign that said “women of color deserve better.” I saw endless amounts of white women complimenting other white women’s signs about their pussies and reproductive rights etc. but upon white women reading my sign, it was met with silence and sometimes confusion which seemed to be something like “but why? who cares?” One very kind black woman asked to take a picture of me with my sign and she said to me “we do deserve better, thank you for this.” It made me upset that she seemed surprised to have found a sign which spoke for her.

A few moments that really upset me:

1) when Muslim, Palestinian-american activist, Linda Sarsour, spoke about how muslims have been facing these same issues for YEARS, specifically the last 15 and how even under obama, muslims were left behind. An air of discomfort settled over the crowd upon the truth that even under someone as amazing as Obama, Muslims were largely forgotten and felt just as terrified. Everyone got very quiet, as if this was not the truth they wanted to face that day

2) I felt an underwhelming lack of mention and/or support for the issues with DAPL, so I shouted as loud as I could into the sea of silent people “WATER IS LIFE! NO DAPL!” What I received was nothing but looks. A few encouraging, but not one person said anything back. Yet, endless “pussy” shouts and the like received ripples of incessant WOO’s

3) People started to get very antsy for about the last hour of speeches because we had been standing there completely still for nearly 6 hours, which I understood, I was antsy too. But what upset me, was the lack of maturity everyone displayed. People started to yell MARCH MARCH MARCH between every speech, hoping that that was the last speech. But upon realizing the speeches weren’t over, people would very noticeably and very very audibly groan, complain, and continue to yell march as the person began their speech.

4) During said antsy period, when people REALLY started to be done with it all, Janelle Monae did a piece on stage with the mothers of the movement who, if some of you don’t know, are a few of the mothers who’s sons have been murdered by police, mothers of children such as Trayvon Martin and Eric Garner. During this people completely lost interest and started complaining even more. I get it okay, you’re tired and your feet hurt and you came here to march, but fucking suck it up. If 6 hours of standing and listening to amazing speeches from people who gave their time to be here, is all it takes to derail you, then what in the hell makes you think you’re ready for 4 years of trump? What makes you think you’re ready for a black lives matter march where police are actually threatening? well I guess most of you won’t have to worry about that, because you probably won’t attend one of their marches because you don’t give a shit about them. I started shouting things similar to this into the crowd, but much more toned down for white sensitivity’s sake.

5) Basically no inclusion of alternate genders (other than biological male, or biological female) except in speeches, none really within the crowd. It was not a place where I felt comfortable expressing that I’m not actually a woman, I’m just your local agender who happens to have a vagina. No chants about trans woman being real women and deserving rights, just about cis women and their precious pussies. (however, the beautiful and eloquent Janet Mock, a trans woman of color, gave a wonderful speech that involved gender issues and it was met with a lot of support and cheers, but still. other than that....?)

Now. This march is complicated. It has left me feeling mixed emotions about the whole thing.There are more moments which upset me, and also moments more moments which inspired me, but for sake of brevity I will just leave this where it is. Ultimately, I say : yes this is a great thing we accomplished across the nation, but I say also: take it with a grain of salt. I say, where were we during Ferguson? Where were we during Flint (which is still going on and which Trump just quietly closed the case on, look into it)? Where have we been the last 15 years when Muslims have needed us? I say, where were we, marching across the globe, when Trayvon Martin was murdered? Or when Eric Garner TOLD police he was dying and they didn’t care? Where were we when police were breaking the jaws of young black girls, or throwing them out of their desks? WHERE WERE WE WHEN SANDRA BLAND WAS MURDERED IN POLICE CUSTODY?

And I say to the beautiful POC who somehow may stumble across this post that most likely will receive little to no attention: I am sorry I did not get involved sooner. I am sorry this march did not feel open to you, because in reality, white women made it so. I am sorry, endlessly I am sorry. I am ready to use my privilege any way that I can to help. I am researching, I am calling my representatives, and I will do anything you tell me may help. 

And to the wonderful people of standing rock: I am sorry you received so many ignorant comments at the march. I am sorry people still refuse to listen to you. I am sorry a sacred time with your ancestors was infringed upon by white ignorance and entitlement. And I am coming to protest with you as soon as I can.

And to any people of the Islamic faith: I say I am sorry this country has turned so blatantly against you, and I am sorry that it really always has been and we have either not noticed or not cared. I am sorry so many crimes that have nothing to do with you, get blamed on you, and i am sorry that 20 million of you banned together to march against isis, and no one reported it in mainstream media. I am sorry you have become so demonized and every day face harassment, and threat of registration. You deserve so much better, all minority groups do. I am dedicating my life to you now. You deserve so better and I intend to use my privilege to stand along side you and help make it so.

To the white women at the march, specifically those non-inclusive, terf women etc: please. just listen to people. stop yelling over them, and listen. LISTEN. do not be offended by a POC telling you you’re doing something wrong, apologize and learn from it. Educate yourselves, learn to be inclusive, because dividing ourselves even in a time of supposed togetherness, will ruin us all. It will destroy the cause. Please. 

To the wonderful, inclusive, open, people who participated in the march, who helped organize the march, who spoke at the march: THANK YOU. Thank you thank you thank you. more. more more more. We must all do more from here on out, this was a beautiful beginning and we must not let it be just a beginning with no continuation. We have a strong foundation, but we need to fill some holes and actually build. 

It is okay to be inspired by this march and proud of this march, but it is also important to recognize the privilege it had and the problems it had too. Enjoy and revel, but do so cautiously and while still improving and moving forward.