#and how much of it is just methylated vitamins akdhdkkdjshdl
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since when can your life expand to be able to encompass all that you wish to be doing with it? how long could so much more have been incorporated into it while instead it was shrinking as you removed every significant aspect from it?
#does this make sense? like. i had to uproot my entire life because none of it aligned with my worldview or sense of self or goals#but at the time the misalignment just felt like this building pressure that i just collapsed under the weight of#every single thing felt like too much to the point where most days all i could do was eat and sleep#i understand that needed to happen for me to get where i am now but i am just genuinely shocked by how much of a 180 it has been#to go from doing absolutely nothing to handling work and school and projects and hobbies and meetings and group work like who am i#it's not like it happened overnight but i remember first adding one or two responsibilities and being so scared that i couldn't manage them#but now i'm just like oh? that will only take a couple hours out of my week? sure i can add that in#and now i am decluttering and actually setting up a bed. room. with an organizational system for the first time in my adult life as opposed#to just random piles and boxes scattered around#i guess i'm just wondering how long i let myself rot while i though i was giving myself room to heal#and how much of it is just methylated vitamins akdhdkkdjshdl
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