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honey-dewey · 4 years ago

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The Rapunzel Effect

Pairing: Ezra (Prospect)/Reader

Word Count: 2,048

Warnings: None, one use of (F/N) (L/N)

Upon losing his arm, Ezra is left stranded, almost entirely unable to care for himself without making some kind of mess. That’s where you step in. As his prospecting partner turned somewhat nurse turned Cee’s other new parent, it’s your job to keep poor Ezra functional and marginally happy as he adjusts to his life.

Living with Ezra was hard.

You’d known him for a while, on and off as distant friends do. You two would take a prospecting job together, work side by side for a bit, and then go your separate ways until you managed to team up for another job.

And then he got stuck on the Green.

You could still remember his face when you’d left him. The mutiny that your coworkers had staged, them dragging you away from him, the expression of betrayal and terror as he realized what was happening.

You quit prospecting after that. It was too dangerous, especially on moons like the Green. For almost two years, you built a life for yourself on a nearby habitable planet, looking up and seeing the Green every so often, wondering if Ezra was up there or if he’d given in yet.

Honestly, you should’ve expected he’d come back. He was a stubborn bastard, of course he’d come back.

You got a call one night, stumbling out of bed and answering it.

“Hello?” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes and yawning.

“Is this (F/N) (L/N)?” The person on the other end asked.

“Yeah?”

The person took a breath. “You are listed as Ezra 4053’s emergency contact, is that correct?”

“Who?” You asked, genuinely confused for a minute before you remembered Ezra had no surname. He had been a state ward, meaning he had a number in place of a family name. “Oh! Yeah, I am.”

“We recently took Ezra into our care, and he now needs a responsible guardian for the duration of his recovery.”

The shock hit you like a ton of bricks. You’d expected them to say they found his body, not that he was alive and in their care. “Oh. Okay. Um, that’s,”

“Unexpected?” The person said, voice tipping with amusement. “He was brought in last week, along with a young girl. If you’ll consider it, she’s highly attached to him.”

Immediately, you nodded. “Of course. I’ve got room for her too.”

“Perfect.” The person said. “You can visit them whenever you want, and we’ll send them out to your care come the weekend.”

“Thank you,” you mumbled absently, putting the phone down and sighing. This was going to be an adventure.

And it was.

Seven months later, Cee was recovered well enough. She’d begun to attend virtual school, slowly growing out of the shell she’d forced herself into. She had nightmares, of course, but she was handling them as best she could. She went to therapy, talked her problems over, and took the prescriptions she’d been given.

Ezra was a whole different story.

On the surface, he seemed okay. He did what he had been told by doctors as well, rubbing a numbing disinfectant on his wounds and sleeping with the help of a machine that regulated his oxygen, trying to reverse some of the damage done to his lungs.

But below the physical, he was at war with himself. That long on the Green without pleasant company did things to the mind. Ezra was jumpy, more so than you’d remembered. Every little noise was a threat to him, turning his face pale and his hand sweaty. He had night terrors, he saw things, his entire body would hurt like crazy, and worst of all, he couldn’t care for himself anymore.

“Ez!” You shouted through the house. “Ez! C’mon, breakfast time!”

Ezra stumbled out of his room, clearly having just woken up. “Huh?”

“Breakfast,” you repeated, sliding a plate with scrambled eggs and a few bites of sausage his way.

He sighed, sitting down and fumbling with his fork. He had been right handed, but now he didn’t have that arm. It was clearly still a struggle for him. He still couldn’t really write, or eat without dropping food, or properly care for his hygiene.

“Cee’s going out today,” you said, putting the breakfast dishes in the sink to do later. “We’ve got the house to ourselves.”

Ezra hummed, focusing on his fork. It was shaky, but he hadn’t spilled anything yet. “Sounds good.”

You sighed, but left him alone to eat.

Twenty minutes later, Cee left, waving at the both of you and smiling to her friends, who were just outside.

“She’s doing well,” you mumbled, crossing out a mistake in your most recent work assignment. “I’m glad she’s making friends.”

Ezra was silent, slowly stabbing the last bite of eggs on his plate. You watched with interest as he ate the bite, looking down at his plate in slight shock, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d done.

He stood, picking his plate up and putting it in the sink. You followed him, grabbing a paper towel and smiling. “Ez,” you said, holding the paper towel up. “You’ve got egg in your beard.”

Ezra smiled, allowing you to wipe egg off his face. “Now darlin’,” he drawled smoothly. “How’s about we have some fun, you and me?”

You laughed. “Ezra,” you murmured, running a hand through his tangled and overly long hair. “Why don’t you go shower, then we can talk about having some fun.”

Ezra left to go bathe, and while he did, you did the dishes. Once they were all done and you’d heard the water shut off in the bathroom, you grabbed a new towel and knocked on the bathroom door. “Ez? I have a towel.”

“Come in.”

You pushed the door open, grinning when you saw Ezra’s left hand poking out from behind the shower curtain. “Thank you kindly. I’ll be out soon.”

You nodded, promising Ezra you’d be waiting for him.

Of course, he fumbled after a few minutes.

As soon as the clattering and the string of loud curses hit you, you were up and running, shoving the door open and seeing a very frustrated Ezra staring at his hand, which had a small cut across the thumb.

“Oh Ez,” you mumbled, opening the medicine cabinet and grabbing some disinfectant and a bandage. “It’s okay Ez.”

Ezra whined, his eyes filling with tears as you methodically cared for his wound.

“Do you need anything else?” You asked, putting away the disinfectant once you were done.

Ezra turned his big brown eyes on you, pleading without words. “I can’t.” He stopped himself, choking on tears. “I can’t.”

You slowly picked the abandoned razor out of the sink, shaking water off it and holding it out. “You can. You just need help.”

He sighed, looking at you and choking on a whimper. “Help.”

“Yeah.” You carefully turned him around, so he was facing the mirror. “Help.”

It was a slow going process, helping Ezra shave. He held the razor in his shaking hand, you holding the hand and keeping him steady enough to shave.

Eventually, you had the Ezra you remembered standing in front of you, with his patchy facial hair and visible smile.

You grinned. “Hello handsome.”

Ezra poked his tongue out at you, setting the razor down and hesitantly picking up a pair of scissors. “My hair too?”

“Aw,” you pouted, taking the scissors from him. “But I like this whole reverse rapunzel thing you got going on,” you said, tugging on the natural blond streak in Ezra’s hair.

He laughed, taking your hand that didn’t have the scissors. “I know, but it’s a damn pain.”

You nodded, picking up a comb. “Alright. Sit.”

Ezra sat down, wrapping his arm around your waist as you combed through his damp hair and began to take chunks off. You warned him that your hack job wasn’t going to look good, and he simply responded with the fact that he didn’t care.

The end product wasn’t bad, in all fairness. It wasn’t great, but Ezra’s hair was back to its old length, which satisfied both of you.

“Hey,” you said, grabbing his hand as he tried to walk away from you. “Y’know you can ask me for help, right? I’m not gonna say no.”

Ezra’s eyes darkened. “I don’t wanna be a bother.”

You shook your head, pulling him close and hugging him tight under the artificial lights of the bathroom. “Oh Ez. Ezra, darling. You could never be a bother. Not to me, not to Cee, not to anyone who loves you. You hear me? We’re here to help you, my love.”

Ezra loosened in your arms, sighing out a huge breath. “You’re amazing, little dove. Y’know that?”

You smiled, pressing a kiss into Ezra’s hand. “I know. So’re you.”

You both ended up on the couch, mindlessly cuddling. Ezra stroked through your hair, slowly putting you to sleep.

“Can you tell me a story?” He finally asked, causing you to look up at him.

“What?”

“A story,” he repeated. “Can you tell me one?”

You nodded, laying your head back on his chest. “Once upon a time, there was a beautiful prince named Ezra.”

Ezra snorted beneath you, but didn’t say anything.

“The prince was born with magical powers, the power to heal the injured. This power stemmed from his beautiful brown hair.” As you spoke, you reached up to scratch through Ezra’s hair, causing him to smile. “But others were jealous of the prince, namely an evil witch who kidnapped baby Ezra and locked him away in a tower. The tower-“

“Babe,” Ezra interrupted. “You’re just retelling rapunzel with me as the princess.”

“And?” You asked, shimmying upwards so you could kiss Ezra’s nose. “You wanted a story.”

Ezra chuckled. “I did. You may proceed.”

You smiled, shifting so you could continue. “Anyway, the tower was covered wall to wall in plants, so many plants that little prince Ezra soon started to call him prison the green. And one day, little prince Ezra wasn’t so little anymore. In fact, he was an adult, begging the witch to let him go, to let him see the world. When she refused, prince Ezra cut a lock of his very special hair, causing it to go white and lose its power. For that, the witch vowed to never let Ezra leave. Ever.”

“Isn’t there supposed to be a prince or princess who comes to save prince Ezra?” Ezra interrupted yet again.

“Ez!” You groaned playfully. “Stop interrupting! I’m getting there.”

Ezra shrugged, but stayed silent so you could continue.

“But, what prince Ezra didn’t know was that a young royal from the neighboring kingdom had been spying on the witch and prince Ezra for a while, and the royal was deeply in love with the prince.”

Ezra sighed, smiling and letting his eyes fall shut.

“This royal would risk it all for prince Ezra, and they did! One day, when the witch left, the royal stood at the base of the tower and called out to the prince. ‘Ezra, Ezra, let down your hair!’ And the prince did. He fell in love with the royal, and they spent many days together while the witch was away. But one day, many months into the secret relationship, the witch caught them. When she saw the royal, she freaked out, yelling and screaming. She tossed the royal out the tower window, and they landed in a bed of thorns at the base of the tower. Ezra, in his despair, jumped out after his beloved.”

You smiled, tracing shapes in Ezra’s shirt, feeling your own eyes grow heavy. “Ezra, horribly injured, cradled the dead body of his lover, surrounded by the thorn plants. Consumed by his grief, he grabbed the dagger off the royal’s belt and shore all his hair off. ‘If this is what life is,’ he declared. ‘Then I wish to live no longer.’ However, at the last second, before the dagger could strike his body, his beloved awoke, healed by the prince’s tears. They rode off into the sunset together, and while the mighty prince Ezra lost an arm that day, he gained something of higher value. A lover for all eternity.”

You yawned, cuddling up to Ezra’s chest and closing your eyes. “The end.”

When Cee came home hours later, she found the pair of you laying on the couch together, tangled in a messy pile of limbs and blankets. Upon further inspection, she realized you were both asleep.

“Those two,” she muttered to herself happily, tossing another blanket overtop you and heading off to do her schoolwork.

#prospect #prospect (film)#ezra (prospect)#ezra x reader #ezra x you #pedro pascal #my writing

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gstqaobc · 4 years ago

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FROM THE MONARCHIST LEAGUE OF CANADA

As this Ecomm went to publication, we received word of the death, at the great age of 96, of Bill Silver, a significant benefactor of the League from its early days, and for many years a pillar of our Ottawa Branch. We wished to remember him here: his ebullient spirit, fierce loyalty spoken gently, innate modesty and kindness. Indeed Chaucer might have had forethought of Bill in describing one of his characters as a “very parfitt gentle knight.” May his ardent spirit rest in peace, and his memory be a blessing and example to us all. LEAGUE ISSUES NEW FLYER: THE CASE FOR THE CROWN The League thought it timely and useful to issue, offer in its advertising and distribute as widely as possible - both via the website and in printed form - a new flyer which will give you, our members, ammunition to argue logically the case for the Crown in conversation with others, and, we hope, to distribute strategically. One never knows when such an item, left on a waiting room table at the doctor or dentist’s office, affixed to a supermarket or other community bulletin board, put through neighbours’ mail slots - the possibilities are many - will do good work for our cause. We hope you will both enjoy and profit from this item, and that many thousands will be distributed across the country. See item one in the WHAT CAN I DO FOR THE CANADIAN CROWN? section of this Ecomm, below, to read online and request printed copies. And special thanks to our wonderful team of no less than seven translators, all francophones from La Belle Province, who so kindly volunteered to make the French version one that is accurate in expression and eloquent in its prose. WHAT CAN I DO FOR THE CANADIAN CROWN? Some suggestions for member activity during these times. We invite members to send additional ideas by return of email. 1. How about asking the League to send you several print copies of our new flyer: THE CASE FOR THE CROWN, or print them on your home computer: https://www.monarchist.ca/index.php/publications and give them to others who may be unaware or sceptical of the importance of Canada’s constitutional monarchy, or even hostile to it. School teachers could be encouraged to read the League’s educational booklets, also available both online and in print at the same URL, or even to request a class set. 2. When you read an editorial, opinion column or letter to the editor in a newspaper, or a tweet or Facebook post, critical of the Crown, don’t get mad - get even! In other words, use a temperate tone and logical argument to refute the writer’s attack. Keep it brief: focus on the obvious flaws in reasoning, mis-statements of fact or name-calling substituting for logic. Same goes for radio talk shows. In the long run, on all media, whatever the provocation, whatever the momentary satisfaction of ”giving them a piece of my mind” - an old adage remains true: “You catch more flies with honey.” 3. Write your elected representative at the federal level to re-state briefly the reasons you support constitutional monarchy as our system of government, and asking the MP whether not your view is shared. 4. Once pandemic restrictions ease, try to make sure that Royal events - such as the upcoming 95th birthday of our Queen, 10th Wedding Anniversary of William and Catherine or 100th birthday of Prince Philip are celebrated both in your home but also among your wider family, your friends, your colleagues at the office, your place of worship/faith community or service club. The League generally sends you some ideas to mark these celebrations. Remember, as they are incorporated into family life and public life, the Crown becomes further embedded in the heart of the nation, and truly represents The Queen’s wish that it ”reflects all that is best and most admired in the Canadian ideal.” This is especially true when you go out of your way to include in your observance the newest members of our Canadian family, who generally are eager to participate in the traditions of their new homeland, and in turn to share their own traditions with the wider community. 5. Always use a Queen stamp when you write a letter or pay a bill by mail. 6. At events of ceremony, whether a Council meeting, a graduation, a civic celebration - whatever - make sure that the Royal Anthem is sung as well as the National Anthem. To the extent you can, discourage event organizers from having a soloist “perform” them. Far more pride and learning develop from the untrained voices of loyal folk singing together. In that way, the Anthems are sung “with heart and voice” and not merely listened to. A FINAL IDEA: AN ACT OF LOVING SUPPORT & THANKS Apart from the above, we think it would be enormously comforting and supportive for every one of us to write a kind letter to The Queen, expressing your thoughts at a difficult time: her beloved husband ailing, a grand-child chiding other family members via sensational television, the drumbeat of the tabloids and the restrictions on her busy life caused by the pandemic. A selection of letters, especially those from Commonwealth Realms, are indeed seen by The Queen - and their number and tone are summarized to Her Majesty. The address is - Her Majesty The Queen, Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA, UK Theoretically you don’t need postage to write the Sovereign; in practice, it is safer to affix the international airmail stamp available from your local Canada Post outlet. AN INTERESTING OPINION PIECE FROM TODAY’S DAILY TELEGRAPHWe thought you might be interested to see the following strongly-worded opinion piece, reflecting a good deal of the tone of recent British public opinion, rather different from much of the Canadian and US commentary. Meghan’s fake interview has real-world effects The Sussexes’ claims have undermined the monarchy and done lasting damage to the Commonwealth by Tim Stanley, March 15, 2021 Two headlines appeared on the BBC News website on the same day. At the top: “Harry and Meghan rattle monarchy’s gilded cage”. At the bottom: “The kidnapped woman who defied Boko Haram”. Well, that puts the Sussexes' problems in perspective, doesn’t it? Yet across Africa, one reads, the Duchess’s story has revived memories of colonial racism, tarnishing the UK’s reputation, and has even lent weight to the campaign in some countries to drop the Queen as head of state. The only nation that seems to think a lot of nonsense was spoken is Britain. In the wake of an interview that Joe Biden’s administration called courageous, British popular opinion of Harry and Meghan fell to an all-time low, and the American format had a lot to do with it. Oprah Winfrey is not our idea of an interviewer. She flattered, fawned and displayed utter credulity. Imagine if it had been her, not Emily Maitlis, who interviewed Prince Andrew over the Jeffrey Epstein allegations. “You were in a Pizza Express that day? Oh my God, you MUST be innocent! Tell me, in all honesty, though...did you have the dough balls?” This wasn’t an interview, it was a commercial for a brand called Sussex, a pair of eco-friendly aristo-dolls that, if you pull the string, tell their truth – which isn’t the truth, because no one can entirely know that, but truth as they perceive it. “Life is about storytelling,” explained Meghan, “about the stories we tell ourselves, the stories we’re told, what we buy into.” Meghan is a postmodernist. Just as Jean Baudrillard said the Gulf War never happened, but was choreographed by the US media, so the Royal narrative she was forced to live was fake, her public happiness was fake and, following that logic, this interview might involve an element of performance, too. People have challenged her claims, alleging contradictions and improbabilities, but one of the malign effects of wokeness is that you have got to be very careful about pointing this out. Why? Because wokery insists on treating a subjective view as objective truth, or even as superior, because it’s based upon “lived experience”. To contradict that personal perspective is perceived as cruel, elitist and, in Meghan’s case, potentially racist, so it’s best to wait a few weeks to a year before applying a fact check. In the meantime, affect sympathy. People would rather you lied to their face than tell them what they don’t want to hear. The result is profoundly dishonest, for I have never known an event over which there is such a gulf between the official reception, as endorsed by the media and politics, and the reaction of average citizens, who are wisely keeping it to themselves. Into that vacuum of silence steps not the voice of reason but bullies and showmen – like Piers Morgan, who said some brash stuff about Meghan’s honesty and, after an unseemly row on Good Morning Britain, felt obliged to resign from his job. “If you’d like to show your support for me,” he wrote afterwards, “please order a copy of my book.” Dear Lord, was this row fake, too? I can no longer be sure, though I despised Good Morning Britain before and still do: it embodies the cynical confusion of emotion and fact, a show made for clicks, where even the weatherman has an opinion. So what is real in 2021? The Commonwealth, which does a lot of good in a divided world. The monarchy, which has been at its best during the pandemic, doing the boring stuff of cutting ribbons and thanking workers that, one suspects, Meghan never grew into (can you imagine her opening a supermarket in Beccles?). It contains flawed people, but that only adds to its realness, and they can adapt faster than you might think. Prince William got the ball rolling by telling reporters, who he is trained to ignore, that his family is not racist. His wife paid her respects to the murder victim Sarah Everard, demonstrating that she is neither cold nor silenced. I’d wager Kate does her duty, day after day, no complaint, not because she is “trapped”, as Harry uncharitably put it, but because she loves her family and believes in public service. Meghan and Harry have indeed prompted the Royal family to change: not in order to endorse their criticisms, however, but to answer them.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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midnightsvns · 4 years ago

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Now I see daylight — a Twilight fanfic

summary: Edward spent his life so long in a ninety-year midnight. Now, all he sees is daylight. A short story about Nessie’s first prom. “How could I ever tell her how grateful I was? Grateful that she could always see past the worst of me and my mistakes. Grateful that she had unlimited selflessness, giving us the family I’d envisioned for her, but thought impossible for me. Grateful that she was all too happy to be the first and only love of my existence. Grateful that cruel fate, after our various ordeals, had turned merciful to bring us to this heaven.” words: 8,280.

AN: so. i was absolutely wrecked after reading the very sad note on which midnight sun ended. to lick my wounds, i wrote this fic, set 12 years after breaking dawn, on the day of nessie’s prom. 404 plot not found just fluff of edward & bella being happy with their now adult daughter. title/summary inspired by the t.s. song daylight. full text under the cut!

Bella and I walked with hands intertwined in the woods behind our house, on our way to the cottage a few miles away that served as our daughter Renesmee’s “room.” When she turned seven, we decided she deserved a space of her own, a space that was removed from her supernatural family who could hear every move she made even if she had a whole floor of the house to herself. It was not unlike the first cottage the three of us had lived in together, back in Forks, in the first year of Bella and I’s marriage. To me, those days seemed as close as yesterday—in reality, twelve years had passed like the blink of an eye. Our daughter was all grown-up now, about to graduate high school for the first time, and today was her very first prom.

We walked at human pace, enjoying the lights and the sounds of early morning in the forest. Before Bella, I would have hated moving at such a glacial pace, always wanting to reach my destination as fast as possible, never lingering under the sunlight long enough to contemplate the diamond-like sparkling of my marble skin. A constant reminder of my inhumanity. But now I relished having the chance to see my wife in the light of day. I knew that all the poets and philosophers who, for two thousand of years, had tried to define beauty, to describe it, had irrevocably failed—because none of them had been fortunate enough to witness Bella smiling and shining under the golden rays of sunlight. I squeezed her hand and chuckled to myself.

Bella, of course, noticed my jocularity. “What are you thinking about?” she wondered.

“I thought that was my line,” I replied, grinning at her. Bella easily controlled her gift now, raising and lowering her mental shields at will. Except in special moments of communication, her shields were always up. She could maintain shields around other people, too, granting peace for me and privacy for my family. The quiet that resulted inside my head was a balm; I could be thankful for it for a hundred years and it would not be enough.

She sighed, and her eyes were suddenly downcast. “Well, I’m glad one of us is cheerful enough to laugh today.” She stopped walking, let go of my hand, and sought shelter under the shadow of a large evergreen tree. I regretted seeing her move away from the sunshine.

Her mournful tone surprised me. “What’s wrong, love? You’ve been looking forward to Renesmee’s prom for weeks now.” It was all I heard the ladies at the house discussing as of late. Alice, our very own literal visionary, was making all their dresses, works of art that were sure to rival even the most revered of Paris’ haute couture scene. Rosalie was browsing our family’s sizable collection of jewelry—composed of heirlooms from our human lives and the very many anniversary gifts from over the decades—for the perfect sets of accessories that would go with Alice’s creations. Esme was renovating and redecorating the front room, the staircase, and the porch, in preparation for today’s sure-to-be endless photo opportunities.

Bella looked up at me, her golden eyes looking regretful. “I just… can’t help but be a little sad that she’s grown up so fast. She’s only twelve, Edward. I spent more time as a clumsy, awkward human child than I’ve spent as her mother,” Bella said, sighing again. “And now she’s graduating and going off to college for the first time? She’s not an adult! How are we even sure she’s fit to be by herself in the human world already? How is she gonna eat? How will she hunt? What if she needs us, or she gets hurt and Carlisle can’t get to her in time? She can’t just go to a human doctor!” Her voice got more and more agitated with every worry she voiced. “And what if she starts dating? And she doesn’t tell us because we’re not there?! She says she’s not interested in anyone romantically now, boys or otherwise, but it’s her first four years in college! She’s bound to catch the sights of some… some no-good jerk who—”

“Stop, Bella,” I said gently, interrupting her before she could spiral any further. I had to resist the urge to laugh at her tirade. It reminded me of the time I went on a very similar, equally anxious rant. Emmett had thought I was a crazy person, worrying about the myriad things that could wipe the human girl I loved out of existence. This time, though, these worries were much easier for me to assuage than when I was fretting over Bella’s mortality and her uncanny ability to attract danger.

I joined her under the cover of the tree and held her marble face in my hands. “Love, I understand wholly all of your anxieties. They’re mine, too. But we need to put a significant amount of trust and faith in our daughter if we want to stay sane during the next four years,” I said earnestly, cracking a little smile, and then started addressing Bella’s concerns one at a time.

“I’m also sad that it has been just twelve short years, and already, we have to let her go. And as much as we may not like it, she is an adult now. She has been for five years. I know she grew up too fast, but if that is the small sacrifice that makes the miracle of her existence possible, then so be it. And she’s had no problems being around humans since she started high school with us when she was eight. As for her eating habits, well, I am worried about the amount of junk food she’ll consume once she is left unsupervised. And she doesn’t need to hunt as frequently as we do…. Once, maybe twice, a month, she can come back here and any one of us would love to go hunting with her. She is also not so fragile that she would ever need the care of any other doctors than Carlisle, Rosalie, or me. As for her first romantic relationship, well... she’s smart, strong-willed. We have to trust that we have raised her well enough that she’ll be responsible, that she’ll know how to protect her heart, and that she’ll be comfortable enough to turn to us for any questions she might have. You are a good mother, Bella. You raised an amazing young woman.” She looked as though she was about to argue, but she said nothing. She must have lowered her shield because I heard her thoughts instead: We raised an amazing young woman. You, Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper… Even Charlie, Sue, Jacob, and Seth. It really does take a village. Her smile was wry.

I shook my head and smiled back at her. She was still bad at taking compliments. “We just have to trust Ness, love. As much as I would never want to see her hurt, we have to let her make her own mistakes. To let her take risks. And we have to give her freedom while she still thinks it’s ours to grant. If she thinks she’s not ready for this yet, or becomes overwhelmed in any way, she knows she can come back home at any time. All we can do is be there for her, and as long as she knows she’s not alone in this, that she never has to carry the world on her shoulders because we’re supposed to carry part of it for her… She will be fine.”

I looked straight into my wife’s eyes, still holding her face, hoping I had eased her anxieties a little. She visibly relaxed, then placed her hands over mine.

“You know, I really hate it when you make sense,” Bella stated matter-of-factly, glaring at me and pouting a little. I laughed and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. Then I pulled her close to my side and led us back on the way to Renesmee’s cottage. If, thirteen years ago, anyone—even Alice—had told me that someday I would be trying to soothe Bella after a bout of anxiety instead of the other way around, I would have laughed in their face.

We made it to the cottage in companionable silence, and Bella’s mood seemed cheerier than before, back to being excited for the day’s events. She knocked on the door, calling for Nessie to wake up, but our daughter opened the door in a flash, greeting us with a chipper hello and a wave to indicate that we should let ourselves in.

“Good morning, Ness. You’re up early,” I commented. Not that our daughter was a late sleeper, but she was also not what one would call a morning person.

“I’m very well-rested, thank you,” she said, walking to the couch in the middle of the cottage’s main living area and plopping down onto it.

“How many hours did you sleep last night?” I asked, suspicious. Half-human, half-vampire hybrid though she was, Carlisle’s recommendation was still at least seven hours of sleep a night, and she often ignored it.

“Seven,” she replied too fast. I raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, six. Maybe five total…” she grimaced, sheepish now. “I was reading books! And I finished a movie.” I was unhappy to hear it. We really didn’t have an exact number of how many hours of sleep she needed each night, but I was sure five wasn’t enough for anyone, human or otherwise. I shook my head and sat next to her on the couch.

The cottage was a cozy place, with a kitchenette in the main room, one bedroom and a small bathroom down a narrow hallway. The main area was where Nessie spent most of her time, a rectangular room with big windows that let in a generous amount of natural light. The wide wall in front of the couch served as the canvas for a mural of the turquoise sea and white-sand beach at Isle Esme, painted from memory by Bella and Renesmee. The three of us had spent two weeks there a couple of years ago to celebrate Nessie’s birthday and my tenth wedding anniversary with Bella. It was my favorite painting in the world.

On the eastern wall was a bay window, Renesmee’s favorite reading nook, flanked by two tall bookshelves. And in front of the couch was a low coffee table, cluttered with books, stacks of paper, journals, pens, paints and paintbrushes, canvasses, coffee mugs, and a laptop. I sighed. The organized chaos, as Ness often referred to it, reminded me much of her mother’s old room at the Swan residence. Bella started tidying up the table immediately, replacing books onto the shelves and rearranging the mess on the table. I turned my attention to the kitchenette’s dirty dishes and the haphazardly discarded clothes on the couch, shaking my head at the untidiness. She spent her days with us either at school or at the main house, and sometimes even slept there when she felt like it. How could one girl create so much disarray after one night?

“Mom, Dad, stop it, I’ll do that later…” Nessie admonished us halfheartedly, but we were done cleaning up before she finished speaking the sentence.

“Did you already have breakfast, honey?” Bella asked.

Ness nodded and grinned. “I had cereal and two Pop-Tarts.”

Wonderful. Clearly she knew how to make healthy choices. I almost wished for the time before she had outgrown her distaste for human food. At least on a diet of animal blood, we knew she was getting some nutrients.

Bella rolled her eyes, although I knew she wasn’t really annoyed. “Esme will make you eat some fruit at the house. Are you ready to go now? Alice wants to do a final fitting of your dress, just in case she needs to make any changes.”

“It’s too bad Aunt Alice can’t see me in her visions. She could just decide to make any changes and then know which ones are right,” Nessie mused, then shook her head and bounded up from the couch, walking quickly down the hallway and into her bedroom. She came out a second later, hands deftly fastening a necklace on the nape of her neck. It was the necklace Rosalie had given her as a present for her birthday last year, a thin platinum chain and an oval pendant with the family crest on it. We filed out of the cottage, and Bella locked the door behind her.

The three of us walked together, Nessie in the middle. I asked her what books she was reading last night that she had gotten so little sleep. Instead of communicating verbally, she held my hand and showed me.

I started seeing her memories from only a few hours ago, implanted into my mind as seamlessly as though they were my own. I saw her reading all seven books of C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia series and watching the first film adaptation. I saw how much she’d enjoyed them. Then, I saw her thoughts on the character Aslan, the wise talking lion and savior of Narnia. She admired him, his kindness and wisdom and compassion…. Suddenly, I saw my own face mixed in with images of the lion. She was trying to tell me the lion reminded her of me.

It shocked me. I’d enjoyed the world of Narnia at the time they were published and became widely popular in the 1950s, and even Bella had told me it was one of her favorite book series. As a lonely immortal, I’d always taken comfort in the fact that I had an Aslan-like figure in my life to look up to. My father, Carlisle. It never occurred to me to think that I could ever fill that role for someone else.

I must be doing something right, I marveled to myself. If Renesmee could liken me to someone who reminded me so much of Carlisle, then perhaps fatherhood wasn’t as lost on me as I had so often felt it was. It was like I was walking on a cloud, an invisible weight lifted off my shoulders. I wrapped my arm around Nessie as we walked, trying to let her know how much I appreciated the privilege of her sharing her thoughts with me. And then she surprised us by speaking in a serious tone.

She moved away from under my arm and moved a few paces ahead, turning around so she could face us. She walked backwards as she talked, her footing steady and sure. “Momma, Daddy, I don’t think I’ve thanked either of you yet… for allowing me to go and study on my own. I know you’ve always tried to let me have a normal childhood, to make sure I never missed out on anything. I love living with you guys. I love talking to Grandpa Carlisle about history and art. I love helping Grandma work on houses. I love shopping and appreciating fashion with Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose. I love playing chess with Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett. I love our piano lessons, Daddy, and our two-person exclusive book club, Momma. I love going back to Forks on holidays to visit Grandpa Charlie. I love our baseball games. But now I’m ready to experience the world for myself. I know it must be hard to let me go and that you’re scared for me. I’m scared, too….”

If my heart were still alive, it might have grown in size from the joy I felt. Renesmee rarely addressed us this way anymore. It was always Mom and Dad or Edward and Bella, if we were in public. It carried me back to the days when she was still just a little child. A rapidly growing, highly intelligent child, but still our little child. She was always so perceptive; it was as though she’d sensed the essence of the conversation Bella and I had had before we reached the cottage, and this sober declaration was her way of telling us she understood.

“You have nothing to thank us for, sweetheart,” I said quickly, at the same time that Bella hurried to ask Nessie what she was afraid of, concern in her voice.

Our daughter blew out a long breath. “I’m scared of living alone, of being completely responsible for myself. But I’m really excited about it, too, and most of the time the excitement overpowers any doubts I have. I’m certain I wanna do this, and don’t they always say that something isn’t worth doing if you’re not at least a little bit afraid?” she asked, her smile reaching her deep brown eyes.

Bella paused and left my side to grasp our daughter by the shoulders. “All we want, Nessie, all we will ever want, is your happiness. And we want you to find out what that means for you on your own terms. If you decide tomorrow that you’d be happy never going to college at all, none of us will argue with your decision. But I can see how sure you are about going. I can’t promise you that I won’t be worried sick and that I won’t be calling you multiple times a day until you’re very, very annoyed with me… But I know you can take care of yourself now, and I can’t wait to see what you do next, baby.” Bella’s lovely voice sounded assured, no trace of the anxiety she’d confided in me just moments earlier. This was what I meant whenever I told Bella she was a good mother, and seeing her in action never failed to earn my awe.

“Thank you, Momma,” Renesmee said sincerely, circling her arms around Bella, and Bella hugged her back. “And I promise I will never be annoyed by your calls, even if you call a hundred times a day,” she said, grinning. “I won’t ignore yours, either, Daddy.”

This made me and Bella laugh. Of course Nessie would make time to take her crazy parents’ calls. No one was sweeter than our daughter.

Their hug ended, and we kept walking. Suddenly there was a glint of mischief in Renesmee’s eyes, and then she touched my arm and Bella’s to tell us we were being challenged to a race. Before the thought was even fully communicated she had already taken off running to the house. I shook my head and chuckled as we hurried after her. She couldn’t quite run as fast as vampires, but the head start might be enough to guarantee her win.

When we reached the house, my brothers were waiting outside for us to arrive. They both had cameras in hand—Jasper a professional digital SLR and Emmett a Polaroid instant camera. With Bella around, I couldn’t hear their minds, so I raised an eyebrow at the both of them in question. What were they up to now?

“Nessie’s already in the house, you rusty old slowpokes,” Emmett said in greeting, mocking me and Bella. But mostly me. “And to think you used to be the fastest, Edward. What a fall from grace. Let me take a picture of this really embarrassing moment for you real quick.” He positioned the instant camera near my face and pressed a button, and it started whirring as it printed out the picture. He grinned and deposited it into a large red handbag, presumably Rosalie’s, that he had slung over his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes at my brother and asked what they were doing with the cameras instead of responding to Emmett’s attempts at vexing me. It was Jasper who answered. “We’re having a photography competition. Whoever contributes the most shots for Esme’s photo albums will win. She’s planning to keep one for us and one to send to Forks for Charlie, so we’ll need a lot of pictures.”

“Yeah, and the winner—who will definitely be me—gets to skip the bake sale that Esme is going to for some hospital fundraiser,” Emmett explained with an arrogant smile. I rolled my eyes again. Of course my brothers had found a way to turn this day into some kind of contest.

“Doesn’t the Polaroid give you a pretty significant disadvantage, Em?” I pointed out, wondering how much film he was lugging around in Rose’s handbag.

“Just because it’ll be more challenging doesn’t mean I can’t still win,” he replied, shrugging. “The pictures I take will be better. Plus, the easy way is overrated, don’t you think?”

Jasper shook his head at Emmett’s smugness, then told me and Bella to pose for a picture. I turned to Bella and she turned to me, and I held both of her hands. I smiled adoringly down at her as she stared back up at me with her deep, amber eyes. We weren’t looking at the cameras, but I heard the workings of the two small devices as my brothers captured the moment.

“Aww, you two are disgusting,” Emmett chuckled as Jasper showed the photograph to all of us on the camera’s tiny screen. “Esme’s going to love that one.” The Polaroid Emmett had taken was still developing, and he shoved it inside the red bag with all the others. Then they went inside to find better subjects for their contest.

Bella and I made our way inside as well. The house was alive with the whole family looking forward to tonight’s events. I heard Alice, Rosalie, and Nessie in Alice’s room, chattering and working away on their gowns. I heard Esme in the kitchen, making breakfast for Renesmee or perhaps practicing some recipes for the upcoming bake sale. I heard Jasper and Emmett running around everyone like a couple of paparazzi, taking pictures left and right. Only Carlisle was absent, hard at work at the hospital, but he’d be back in time to see us all off to prom tonight. Bella kissed my cheek in farewell before joining Nessie with her aunts upstairs.

I gravitated towards the piano, as I often did. I scanned the perfect mental repository of all the music I knew, trying out a few bars from different pieces—some my own compositions and some written by better musicians than I—but none of them spoke to me…. Until one did. I sat down and began playing the first notes of “Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity” from Holst’s orchestral suite, The Planets. It was a piece that sounded abundantly better when played by a full orchestra, but I enjoyed it regardless. My hands glided quickly across the piano keys to produce the quick, jaunty chords of the exposition. Then the development came in ritardando, varying from the cheery main theme to take a strangely calm, nostalgic turn. Although it evoked feelings of nostalgia, it wasn’t sad. Only pensive about a time already past. The piece concluded a tempo, returning to the happy and powerful main theme. I didn’t realize how much the song reflected my mood until I was already finished playing it.

Knowing her thoughts were protected by Bella’s shield, Esme offered me her kind compliments out loud from the kitchen. “That was wonderful, Edward,” she gushed. “I have always been so fond of that piece. Please play some more, darling.” I murmured a thanks, then obliged my mother and started playing her favorite, the very song I had played for Bella the first time I brought her home to meet my family. Even though the memory was tainted by the agony and danger of the events that followed, I still looked back on it with some joy. That was the night Bella became a part of our family.

The day went on that way, calm and peaceful, everyone busy with their respective tasks. Nessie came down to join me once in the afternoon and let me hear a new composition she was working on. It was her best yet, and I told her as much. Bella came downstairs as well, listening to me play and rereading Persuasion by Jane Austen while she sat beside me on the piano bench.

Before long, it was time for us to get dressed and ready for the prom. I quickly changed into my dark brown suit. The color had been my only stipulation, the rest decided by Alice’s keen sense of fashion. Since that overcast Thursday morning—the day that had been my turn to ask questions—my favorite color had never wavered from brown. The chocolate-brown color of Bella’s human eyes was not just preserved fondly in my memories, but alive forever in Nessie, and it was beyond the bounds of possibility for me to separate such a color from the meaning of all my happiness.

After I was dressed, I tried to peek into Alice’s room to see if they were ready to go, but Alice, annoying as ever, blocked my entrance and told me to wait with Esme and Carlisle downstairs. I rolled my eyes but followed her instructions. Arguing with Alice was almost never worth it.

Carlisle was just arriving home from work right as I was coming down the stairs, and when he saw me, his eyes lit up. “Why, you look great, Edward,” he praised, setting his medical bag down on a table in the foyer. I thanked him humbly. He reached up and loosened his tie, likely more out of habit than out of a need to be more comfortable. It struck me as a very fatherly thing to do. Esme came out of the front room, greeting Carlisle with a bright smile and a quick kiss. “You’re home just in time, dear. I think the girls are almost done helping Nessie get ready.”

I snorted. At this rate, we were never going to leave the house in time. “Alice, we’ll be late!” I shouted in the direction of the stairs, knowing she could hear me perfectly.

“No, we won’t!” Alice chimed back confidently. I sighed.

Jasper and Emmett were already in their tuxedos and bounded quickly down the stairs, cameras still in hand. Rosalie was the one who joined us next, looking devastating in a burgundy mermaid dress. Emmett looked like he was about to combust. Jasper smirked at our brother’s dumbstruck expression, snapping a few pictures.

Then it was my turn to be dumbstruck as Bella started down the stairs, moving at full speed to be at my side in an instant. “Alice wouldn’t let me see Ness wearing her dress yet,” she complained, but all my attention was on her at that moment. She looked positively incredible wearing a knee-length, square-necked light azure dress, held up by thin straps with flutter sleeves and inset with a thousand little rhinestones that looked like stars. My wife could have been Selene herself, come down from the moon. I ran my fingers gently through Bella’s long, straight brown locks and pressed my palm to her cheek. And for the nth time in so many years, I was glad for the deal I’d made with Bella on our first wedding anniversary. “You look beautiful, love. Absolutely arresting,” I said honestly.

“I know,” Bella said, beaming up at me, and I laughed happily. This was our deal: whenever I told her the indisputable truth about how beautiful she looked, all she had to say in response was that she knew. In exchange, I was forbidden from spending money on gifts for her for exactly five years, and five years was such a short time for creatures such as we that the zero-gifts rule felt like it was lifted immediately. I circumvented the moratorium, anyway, by getting gifts that were for both Bella and Nessie, or both Bella and Esme…. It may not have been the fairest of contracts, but my intentions were of the purest kind. I leaned down and pulled my beautiful goddess of a wife into a deep kiss, and I felt her wide smile as her arms wrapped around my neck. We only broke away from each other when we heard Alice skipping down the stairs, dressed in a white two-piece cocktail dress that made her look like a mischievous fairy.

“Get ready, everyone!” Alice squealed, clapping her hands in anticipation. “I can’t wait to see your reactions, I know you’ll all just die.”

My sister was right. Renesmee—our only daughter, the greatest joy of our lives—stood at the top of the stairs in a gorgeous, peach pink off-shoulder gown decorated with the same little rhinestones that were on her mother’s dress and delicate leaf-patterned lace appliques, and she was a sight to die for. As she walked slowly down the stairs, one hand on the banister, Emmett and Jasper took pictures fervently, documenting the entire moment. I saw Bella press her hand to her chest, eyes soft and adoring.

“Well, how do I look?” Nessie asked when she reached the bottom of the stairs, a half-smile on her face. Her soft bronze hair fell in long, spiral waves down her shoulders, and on her neck, she still wore the necklace she’d put on this morning. She spun around in a circle, indulging the attention we lavished on her, understanding that today would not have been such a significant event for us if not for her. Esme made me, Bella, and Nessie pose for pictures by the staircase, then on the couch in the front room, and then outside on the porch. After Esme was satisfied with the pictures of the three of us, Jasper and Emmett set up a tripod and took a photo with all nine of us in the front room, our latest family portrait. When the photoshoot was done, we all filed into our vehicles to make our way to school. Bella and Nessie rode with me in the Volvo, and my siblings rode in Rosalie’s M3.

We made it to the high school just in time, and even from the car, I could already hear the booming electronic dance music and the excited prattle of hundreds of human children crowded around in the school gym. I prepared myself for the barrage of human thoughts I would have to hear tonight; the only people Bella would shield here were our family. Although Bella could shield a roomful of people from me easily, I still needed to be on the lookout for any suspicious minds when we were in public like this. The three of us met the rest of my siblings at the doors to the gym and joined the throng of high schoolers, looking like they were having the time of their lives. Little did they know how many lethal supernatural creatures had just descended upon this party. If they knew, maybe they wouldn’t be so happy.

“Are you ready for your first—but definitely not last—prom, Carlie?” Emmett asked my daughter, grinning. Nessie went by her middle name at school to be less conspicuous. At first, Bella was greatly displeased by the necessity of this precaution, but she couldn’t deny the rationale. We stood out more than enough being newcomers in a small town like this one, with our sheer number, our wealth, our beauty, and our semi-frequent ‘family trips’ to avoid the sun.

“Time to dance the night away!” Nessie said, grinning back at her uncle. She bounded away from us to meet a couple of her classmates, two girls who reminded me of Bella’s human friends, not physically, but in their manner and thoughts. Ness didn’t have many friends, and we had started to worry that her only interaction with other living beings was isolated to her family, but she rarely found her human classmates interesting, and when she did, it was because she genuinely had something in common with them.

The girl who was like Jessica, a brown-haired girl named Lindsay, shouted over the loud music at Nessie in greeting. “Oh my God, look how gorgeous you are!” Jesus, she looks like she belongs in some runway show right now. I wonder what designer this dress is by? Probably cost a million bucks…. I kind of hate her. Lindsay’s thoughts were petty and vitriolic, and I resisted the urge to march over there and shield my daughter from the bitter girl. That would have done more harm than good, so I settled for rolling my eyes and whispering in my wife’s ear about the girl’s thoughts. It was gossipy and ungentlemanly, but I had to share the burden of being powerless to protect Nessie from a fake friend.

“Oh, that girl is in my English class,” Bella said, looking unsurprised. “I knew she was mean, but I liked her Shakespeare essays. Nessie thinks she’s smart.” I scoffed and tuned in to the other girl’s thoughts—Annie, a girl with short, pink-dyed hair who made me think of Angela. She greeted Nessie with a hug, and thought, Wow, she looks like a princess. I should ask her to take a selfie with me! My mom will be super bummed if I don’t take a lot of pics tonight…. Annie pulled out a smartphone, and the three girls smiled as the little device flashed and snapped their ‘selfies.’ And then they ran to the dance floor together, jumping and laughing to the music.

I stayed with Bella in a darkened corner, and we watched Renesmee enjoying herself. Occasionally, one of my siblings would pull us away and make us dance to the upbeat music, but neither of us were particularly fond of the DJ’s infernal choices. The DJ, a baby-faced young boy called Drew who had Spanish class with me, exclusively played EDM and bastardized remix versions of classic love songs. By the ninth EDM song in a row, I finally put my proverbial foot down and crashed the DJ booth on stage to bribe him with a fifty dollar bill so he would play a song of my choosing. The boy was astonished and could barely say anything back to me, but as I walked through the crowd to reach Bella again, Johnny Ace’s “Pledging My Love” started blaring through the loudspeakers. I took Bella’s hand as we walked to the middle of the dance floor, and once we were there, I pulled her close to me and led us in a slow, intimate dance.

“This is the most romantic song I know,” Bella whispered, her head resting on my chest as we swayed slowly in a circle.

I chuckled. “Once upon a time, in a very old and decrepit truck, this song came on the radio and provided an apt soundtrack for the most romantic day of my life. Do you still remember that?”

Bella lifted her head from my chest and looked up at me, her eyebrows knitted together playfully. “My God, thirteen years and you’re still hating on the truck? I think you’ve got some issues to sort out there, honey,” she said, her beautiful lips turned up in a smirk. Then her face became more earnest. “But of course I remember. That was one of the best days of my life, too.”

Her amber eyes looked so full of love, so full of sincerity, that I felt like falling to my knees. As a mature vampire, more than a decade after her transformation, she should have no more than a few blurry recollections of her human life. But Bella felt so strongly about me, about the memories we’d made, that she vehemently held on to our past, even as each day, each minute, and each second brought us further away from it. I kissed her, always trying to let her know how precious she was to me. The song was nearly over, and I sighed. I could have stayed there dancing with her forever and never need anything more.

“Smile, please!” I heard Renesmee say, Emmett’s Polaroid camera in her hand. She snapped a photo of us. Then she turned the camera around, sandwiched herself between her mother and I, stuck her tongue out goofily, and pressed the button on the camera to take a picture again. Bella laughed.

“Where did your friends go?” Bella asked. “I was starting to think you guys would never get tired of dancing together.”

“Oh, they went back to their dates,” Nessie said nonchalantly. “So I decided to annoy Uncle Em by taking his camera.” A folky, lullaby-like acoustic song was now playing through the speakers.

“Oh—I love this song so much!” Nessie gasped. “Please dance with me, Dad?” She whispered the last word to keep any humans from hearing.

How could I refuse her? “Of course, sweetheart.”

Bella smiled and took the camera and the Polaroids from Nessie, saying something about finding Emmett and his big red bag. I led my daughter in a slow dance around the crowd, her hands resting on my shoulders.

“You and Mom looked amazing dancing together like that,” Nessie said casually, but by the look on her face, I could feel how serious the conversation was going to be. “I know the story, Dad. I know everything you went through before you could get here. And I am so happy that it worked out for you. Seeing how much you love Momma, how much she loves you… it makes me never wanna settle for anything less than that.”

My brows furrowed. “Is that why you said no to the boys who asked you to be their date tonight? Because you don’t love any of them?”

We kept swaying to the music, and Nessie chuckled. “Kind of. It’s true I said no because I don’t feel a connection to any of them, but also because I didn’t want tonight to be about some stranger hanging out around our family. I wanted it to just be us, so we could be ourselves.”

My heart swelled. Nessie always thought of our family first. That wasn’t her responsibility, and we would’ve been all too happy to pretend to be human and normal for any prom date of her choice, but she thought of us first. She was so like her mother in some ways.

“What did you mean, then? About never settling for anything less?” I asked. Something about the way she’d said it worried me, made me feel as though there were insecurities underneath her positive tone that needed to be addressed.

She took a deep breath. “I just… I realized that real love like I’ve seen with you and Mom, Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Em and Aunt Rose, Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice… it’s rare and it’s wonderful. And I think I would prefer waiting for a love where I could feel everything there is to feel rather than try to force something with anyone I’m not sure about. And I realize I could be waiting forever if I keep waiting for something perfect, but that’s the point, isn’t it? And I can’t imagine how I would ever find something like that. And that’s all right, I think.”

Renesmee’s words were full of conviction, and I started thinking about how, someday, the day would come when we would be dancing just like this—I would be in a tuxedo and she would be in a big white dress—at her wedding, for the father-daughter dance. Like her, I could not imagine yet the person she would marry, but I saw our family there. I saw Charlie desperately trying to ignore how our faces still remained unchanged. I saw Jacob, whom Renesmee considered her best friend, taking a break from managing his own auto repair shop to be there as her best man. It would be the happiest day of her life, just as how my wedding had been one of the happiest days of mine, and it saddened me that she couldn’t see herself finding that happiness one day. But I understood Nessie’s conclusions—or maybe more accurately, her fears—about not finding love. When I was still alone, I’d come to similar conclusions that the kind of happiness I saw in my family was simply not meant for me. Even when I’d found Bella, I always chose the saddest path, never daring to hope that I could have happiness with her forever.

“I admire your position about refusing to settle, Ness, because you deserve only the best. And I was just like you once. Before I found your mother, I never saw the point in pursuing relationships that I knew weren’t going to be meaningful. But you shouldn’t let yourself believe that you won’t find what you’re looking for.” I brushed a stray lock of curly bronze hair behind Nessie’s ear, hoping she could hear the honesty in what I was saying. “You know that for our kind, waiting through decades of being alone before finding who you’re meant for is more common than finding that right away….So please, don’t be so resigned. You are entirely too young to resign yourself to an eternity of being alone. It will work out, somehow,” I finished, echoing Esme’s confident words to Bella long ago when our relationship was at its very beginning.

Renesmee nodded, and I hoped my reassurances had lifted a little of the weight off her shoulders. I didn’t need to have Jasper’s gift for empathy to know that existing in both our world and the human world, not quite belonging in either, was a difficult thing to process. I didn’t know what the future held for my daughter—none of us did—but I looked forward to it with the same optimism my own parents had always had for me.

The acoustic ballad we were dancing to ended softly, and I escorted her away from the dance floor so we could rejoin our family.

“My feet kind of hurt,” Nessie complained as we found Bella sitting beside Rosalie on some folding chairs, but a smile was still bright on her face. She was having such fun tonight.

“Do you want to go home, baby?” Bella asked as Nessie dragged over another chair to sit down between Bella and Rose. Nessie rested her head on Rose’s shoulder, and Rose circled her arm around Nessie in a one-armed hug. “You’ve been dancing all night, I’m sure you’re tired.”

“Yeah, I think I wanna go home,” Ness said, sounding a little sleepy.

Suddenly, Lindsay and Annie appeared out of the crowd as an upbeat pop song started playing. “Carlie, come dance with us!” one of the human girls said.

Nessie perked up. “Wait, I love this song! Just one last!” she said enthusiastically, heading back to the dance floor with her friends. I shook my head, amazed at her energy. I sat down on the seat that Nessie had just vacated.

“We’re still a go for tomorrow, right, Rose?” I asked Rose discreetly. If the weather was safe enough for us to be out, we were going into the city tomorrow so Rose could help me pick out Nessie’s very first car. She learned how to drive when she was seven but always used the cars that belonged to the rest of the family. Now that she was going to college, she needed a vehicle to be able to get around on her own. Bella was coming with us, too, to be the voice of reason. Apparently, Rose was just as likely as I was to pick a car that Bella would deem—and this was her word—‘overkill.’ Rose only nodded in response, but I saw the corners of her mouth turn up a little.

We all watched as Nessie danced to one last song with her friends, and I could pick her lovely voice out of the babble of other noise as she sang along. “There’s a mountaintop that I’m dreamin’ of…. If you need me, you know where I’ll be!”

“She’ll call us constantly once she’s in college, right?” Bella asked me in an emotional whisper, looking at our daughter jumping up and down and singing with her friends. Since she became a vampire, I rarely thought of my wife as vulnerable anymore, but she looked vulnerable now. If our bodies were still capable of shedding tears, I wondered if she would be crying. Honestly, I realized I wanted to cry as well. Renesmee was ready to create her own life, and she needed us less and less every day. Years ago, I’d thought loving Bella was the greatest accomplishment of my life, the only good thing I would ever do. I’d thought that, after a hundred years of emptiness, loving Bella as thoroughly and as completely as I did was the strongest feeling I would ever experience. But Nessie—she proved those assumptions wrong, time and again. It was an honor to have raised her, and I knew Bella felt the same.

I held Bella’s hand and kissed her temple. “I’m sure she will, love. I’m sure she will.”

After a few moments, the song was over, and Nessie was saying her goodbyes to her friends. When she had made her way back to us, she cried, “My feet are killing me! Please never let me dance all night in heels ever again.”

Bella let out a short laugh. “It’s fine, baby. You can take off your shoes and your dad will carry you to the car.”

“Oh, bless!” she exclaimed. Bella laughed again. Nessie pulled off her heels, which Bella promptly carried for her, and our daughter let me lift her up in my arms. As we walked, Bella wrapped her arm around my waist. I glanced up at the night sky and saw the pale moon untrammeled by the usual gray clouds, bathing the high school parking lot in its ghostly light. It conjured up memories of a similar evening. Another prom night—Bella’s very first. I’d carried her in my arms just like this, and I remembered how desperate I’d been, how important it was for me that she did not miss her prom, in case her future children ever asked about it. I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t have an empty story for them because of me. And here we were, thirteen years later, with the miracle of our own child in my arms, Bella’s arm around me. Not even the sweetest of my dreams could compare to the reality we lived in now. I stared at Bella’s face, wondering if her thoughts had taken the same turn mine had. She pressed a hand to her throat, remembering how I’d kissed her there that night. We shared a secret smile.

When we reached the car, Bella opened the door to the backseat, and I sat Ness gently down in the middle, making sure her limbs were in comfortable positions. “Thanks, Dad,” she whispered, looking seconds away from succumbing to sleep. Bella got in beside her, and I sat in the driver’s seat to take us back home.

At moments like this, I still struggled to believe how I could have been given so much happiness, so much unadulterated joy that went beyond the ambit of anything I had ever dared to dream of for myself.

It felt like a reward I didn’t deserve. Maybe it was futile, looking for reasons when I knew I would get no answers. But in all my musings, the only conclusion I came to that made any kind of sense was that… it was because of Bella.

Because of Bella and her goodness, that rare kindness I saw only in her—she was why I was allowed all this happiness. And I was just the fool lucky enough to be in the range of her shining sun. Lucky enough to love her and be loved by her.

How could I ever tell her how grateful I was? Grateful that she could always see past the worst of me and my mistakes. Grateful that she had unlimited selflessness, giving us the family I’d envisioned for her, but thought impossible for me. Grateful that she was all too happy to be the first and only love of my existence. Grateful that cruel fate, after our various ordeals, had turned merciful to bring us to this heaven.

I looked back at them again, Nessie now sleeping soundly on Bella’s lap, and Bella absentmindedly twining her fingers through the mess of bronze curls fanned out on the soft fabric of her dress. “She’s dreaming,” Bella whispered. I could see Nessie’s hand on Bella’s arm, inadvertently letting Bella see the pictures she was swimming through in the land of her dreams.

I was sure that no words in any of the languages I knew could ever sufficiently reveal the feelings of peace and contentment that I felt, staring at them, the two halves of my heart, at ease in the backseat.

Bella caught me looking then, her golden eyes piercing through mine in the rearview mirror. She smiled, lowered her shields, and allowed me to hear one thought: I love you.

“I love you, too, Bella,” I whispered. I willed the past and the future that stretched out infinitely before us to give those words weight, seeming too simple and inadequate to convey the depth of what I felt.

No, I didn’t have the words that could tell Bella how grateful I was for her. For Renesmee. For our family. Perhaps I never would…. But that was fine. I had the rest of forever to try and find the words. Forever and forever and forever. I smiled and felt lighter than if my heart were not made of stone, and sped up the car to take us faster towards home.

#writing #twilight fanfiction #kellythepitiablefangirl #thethoughtsofafangirl #edwardsmidnight #magicandmyth #mafitheedwardhoe #← thanks once again to my friends for prereading this and giving me feedback u guys are the bestest #midnight sun still has me very 🥺🥺🥺 and this entire fic was just an exercise in reminding myself that e/b are living their best lives now

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mor-beck-more-problems · 4 years ago

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Hit Or Miss || Morgan & Bex

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @inbextween & @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Morgan tries to get to know Bex over a game of Battleship. Explosions may or may not ensue.

CONTAINS: brief references to transphobia

There were a few things that death couldn’t take away from Morgan: love, the view of a January day, and board games. She had never been much of a fan as a kid, they were bulky, hard to pack in a hurry, and as soon as you lost a couple pieces, all that mess became worthless. But at Karen’s house a lifetime ago, the novelty special editions of Monopoly and Life and the varnished wood sets of checkers and parcheesi had seemed like treasures from another world; one where the ground was steady beneath your feet and it never occurred to you that the nice things you loved would fall apart. Today, she ran her fingers over a battered edition of Battleship: Classic (was there a Battleship: passé somewhere?) and brought it down to the table by the window she was bogarting at Board to Death, grinning affectionately at the scuffed pegs and stained ships hiding under the lid. It was the only coffee shop in town that anything to offer besides food she couldn’t taste. Her triple espresso had a soothing bitter taste, but all the icing in the world on the danishes or dipped vegan scones couldn’t bring back her old sense of taste.

She sipped the just-below-boiling mixture and watched the living world shuffle by in their puffy coats and bright scarves. When she saw a nervous looking girl approach the window she smiled, nodding in case it was her. When she entered the cafe, Morgan held out her hand. “Hey, you’re Bex, right?”

The strangest part about being back in White Crest was that it felt so nice. There was something about this place that felt enough like home that Bex almost didn’t altogether mind her overbearing parents controlling her every move. Almost. They’d delighted in the fact that she was being scouted by a professor already, and she’d opted to not mention the part where said professor was gay and also recommended by someone who thought they were a witch. For some reason, Bex trusted Nell’s judgement, and Professor Beck seemed really nice. And, well, Bex couldn’t help but leap at the idea of meeting a real life queer person. Especially a woman. Who was out! And open! Even if she couldn’t really ask her about it today. The concept was novel. And so Bex really wanted this meeting to be good.

Therefore, she kept an excited demeanor about herself as she made her way to Board to Death, trying to push the anxiety away. Put on a smile when she opened the door, and glanced around for Professor Beck, seeing her through the window. She scooted herself over, taking her hand. “Hey! Hi, yes! That’s me! I’m Bex! That makes you Professor Beck, then! Unless you’re not, which would make this very awkward,” she chuckled, then stopped, clearing her throat. “S-sorry. Um, hi, thanks for meeting with me!” Glanced down to look at her refreshments on the table, then back up. “I never really knew Board to Death had food! I’ve only been here a few times. Do you come here a lot?”

“I am Professor Beck, yes, but you can just call me Morgan. Pretty much everyone does.” Morgan took another sip of her espresso and gestured for the girl to sit. It wasn’t every day she could tell someone she’d spoken with online just from their demeanor, but Bex was nearly vibrating out of her skin with anxiety. It was an excited kind of anxious, like her face might hurt from smiling so much, but it still gave Morgan some pause. This was a girl who had wrecked a whole computer lab with just the force of her emotions. Even if she couldn’t accept magic yet, some kind emotional release would probably be good for her. “I don’t come here much, no. Coffee tastes pretty much the same to me anywhere, and at least here it comes with something fun to do. You’ve played Battleship before, right? It’s only one of a couple of two player games I’m familiar with that doesn’t make you think too much.” Grinning at her, Morgan lifted the top from the game and started assembling her board.

“Oh, um--” Bex started, feeling that anxiousness already bubbling in her throat again, “-- I’ll try, but no promises. My parents sort of drilled it into me that it’s ‘Mister’ and ‘Misses’, or ‘Doctor’ and ‘Professor’ only!” Her face scrunched, as if she were trying to be angry and she lifted a finger to waggle. A poor imitation of her father. “You are a child, Odelia, and you will address your elders properly!” Not realizing she’d let slip her real name, she looked back across the table at Professor Be-- er, Morgan. “Oh, yeah, I’m much more of a tea person, myself. Coffee makes me jittery and anxious and I think I’m plenty of that all on my own, you know?” She watched as Morgan began assembling the game, not saying too much. Her father had made her play old strategy games like Risk and Chess for hours on end as a child, but Battleship had never seemed to reach their table. “Um, once, at school. You just kinda guess coordinates, right?”

Morgan couldn’t hide the arch in her brow as Bex gave a different name as she impersonated her parents. Did they not address her the way she asked to be? Did she keep the name she gave out to acquaintances as a secret? Still, she snorted kindly and finished setting up her board. “It’s good that you know yourself at least. I’m not sure if the world is ready for a caffeinated Bex just yet.” She finished setting up her board and started on her ships, keeping them mostly spread out from each other. “And yeah, it’s just a fun guessing game! If you know your opponent well, you can try and guess their methodology, but it’s, you know--” She held up the box lid, “Ages 6 and up.” With everything set aside on her end, she could lean back and relax. “So, I do hope you’ll take one of my seminars. My syllabus is way more fun than the other professors’, not to knock my colleagues, because they’re amazing, but I hand out movies and, occasionally, video games too. We look at what speculative and fantastical stories tell us about humanity, how we see ourselves and each other and why changes in those perceptions matter. And, you know, with all the writing homework, you’ll probably get a leg up on your fellow pre-law students. Anyone can have an idea or a feeling, but it takes work to give voice to it. But, that’s my one and only pitch. I’d much rather get to know you. Sometimes strangers can be easier to open up to than others.”

“Oh, it’s definitely not,” Bex agreed with a chuckle. She watched Morgan set up her side-- without peeking, of course!-- before working to set her own side up. She didn’t entirely know the best strategy for Battleship, but she decided she wanted to go for an out there one, sticking all of her ships right in a square in the middle of the map. “Well, I’m definitely six and up, so, I think we’re all good. Who goes first?” She looked across the table to Morgan as she continued to fuss with her pieces, wondering which formation was better, listening to her description of her course. “It sounds like a great class,” she said when the older woman was done speaking, but there was something vibrating inside of her. Something about the description, something about how free and open the course sounded, made her realize something else was going on here. Bex might have been closed off and insecure, but she was observant as well. It was one of the qualities that made her an actual decent law student. Her gaze dropped to her board and she pulled her hands away. “I’m ready to start, then,” she said, lifting her eyes just enough to gaze over the top of the board, the double meaning of her sentence not lost on either of them.

Morgan watched Bex thoughtfully, from the tightness in her shoulders to the shrill chirp of her voice. She was trying, eagerly, desperately, but for what? Morgan wanted to tell her to relax, there were no quizzes or grades handed out at the end of this meet-up. But having been that anxious herself more than once, she knew drawing attention directly didn’t always have the desired effect. “A-10?” She called. “Why don’t you tell me about why you like it here? I thought I saw you mention something about ‘coming back’ on main and I gotta say, I haven’t heard of too many people returning after they’d left. Well, not often by choice anyway.”

“Miss,” Bex said quietly, sticking a peg into A-10. “E-6?” she tried, waiting for the response. She chewed on her lip at the question, thinking a moment. It wasn’t that she really liked it here, but White Crest was home and she knew she had a place here. And even if she hadn’t gone to school here, or grown up with the other kids, or become a regular at all the diners-- she still felt like she fit in here. More so than at Penn State, where the kids looked at her with those eyes, and whispered behind their hands, and posted her private life online. “It just...feels like home, I guess. I went to private school as a kid, so it’s not like I really have any sort of connection to the town, but I just feel right here,” she explained softly, neither smiling nor frowning. She stuck a peg into the missed slot. “I came back because I had to.” Where she really wanted to be was far away from the East coast, maybe in Oregon or Washington or California. Somewhere she could start over brand new and be whoever she wanted to be. She cleared her throat. “How um-- how long have you been in White Crest?”

“Miss,” Morgan called. She let a round pass unremarked, taking in as much as she could. She was just bundled up so tight, it was no wonder she’d exploded in front of Nell. That much repression might do the same even to someone without magic. “Private school, huh? Like boarding school? I didn’t realize those were still a thing in this country.” She made another call, D-6, and took another sip of espresso. “I’ve been here for a year now. I’m starting to see how somebody could feel like they belonged here, even with all the terribleness. It’s not an easy fit, but I don’t think I could leave on a dime, not by myself anyway. But what--is it okay if I ask what made you have to come back? Or if not, maybe tell me about someplace else you dream of being. Those are good ideas to hold onto. The future, I mean.”

“Yep,” Bex said dismissively, “I went to a private boarding school. And they definitely still exist here.” And they suck, she wanted to add, but held her tongue. Uniforms and strict schedules and forced rules. Secrets and hush money and skirting around the fact that Bex was not born a girl. “My parents paid good money for it, it was a Jewish Orthodox school, a really good one, too,” she went on, swallowing down the hard feelings. They didn’t matter anymore. “The town certainly has a charm to it, doesn’t it?” She stuck a peg right between two of her ships as a miss. “Miss. Um...H-7?” She looked up again, contemplating which question she wanted to answer. They both would give away too much, and she was bad at lying. “There was an incident at my old school,” she finally said, the waver in her voice coming through, “my parents thought it best I come back home.”

“It’s okay, Bex,” Morgan said softly. “I want to know you, but you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t really want to. But I am sorry about whatever happened to you over there. It doesn’t seem like something easy.” She tilted her head, trying to meet the girl’s eyes. There was something there, something awful. Bullies, maybe? Did kids chase Bex and lock her in storage cabinets and call her names like they had Morgan? Or was there some kind of accident with her magic? “What do you want, Bex? However important your parents are to your life, however close you might be, your life is still yours. Your future should look like what you hope for. Why don’t you tell me more about that, huh? Or how the law firm fits into that idea.” Another sip of espresso. “Miss, by the way.” She scanned her grid and made a guess toward the middle. “F-6?”

Bexley swallowed hard, trying to make the worble that was building in her throat go away. “It’s okay, it’s kind of public information, anyway,” she stated matter of factly, moving away from the topic enough to not feel too overwhelmed, and thankful for Morgan’s offer. But the next question felt even harder, and Bex could feel the anxiety building in her stomach again. Her hand shook as she went to plug in the peg next to her ship, one hole away and she had to grip it with her other to make it stop. “I want to make my parents proud,” she stated, as if reading from a script, “I’m the sole heir to our business and fortune. That’s all there is to it. M-my future. That’s all I want. To be the perfect daughter for them.” And stop messing up. Since she couldn’t be their son. Since she couldn’t be the best. “Miss,” she said and her voice cracked. “F-5?”

“Miss,” Morgan replied. “And you don’t have to be perfect. No one is perfect. Perfect in terms of being flawless and incapable of improvement isn’t even a real thing. And your parents--” Morgan frowned. She had a lot of fairy tales about what parents should be like, but the more people she met, the more she wondered where she had cooked that one up. “The best way to love someone is to enable them to be the most themselves. The best, freest version of themself. And asking yourself those questions is the best way to find yourself loved better. I don’t know what your situation is, Bex, but you shouldn’t live to be an object in someone else’s story. You’re more than that. What is it that really excites you? What do you hope for?” Morgan waited, peering at this small glimpse of Bex’s pain with growing concern. Then, suddenly remembering that she had yet to call a move, she distractedly mumbled something a few spaces out from her last one. “E-5?”

Bex didn’t like this anymore. Morgan was saying things she already knew, but she also already knew that they were things she couldn’t have, so what was the point in thinking about them? In talking about them? She didn’t even bother putting a peg in this time. This was supposed to be a fun, easy meeting, not a deep dive into her extremely painful situation. “Please stop,” was all she said, hands folded tightly into her lap, “just...please?” Fingers began to pick at nail beds, still red and raw from every other time she’d done it. “All I hope for right now is to make it through each day without messing up or embarrassing someone,” she admitted quietly, but her voice was stern, an anger stewing inside of her that she rarely let to the surface, “And I just hope that I can make it through the week without some shit happening. And I hope that one day I’ll be able to look back on all this and put it behind me, but that’s not feasible right now so I really need to just not think about it and keep trying my best for my parents because they’re all I have.” And she owed them everything. Shakily, she lifted the peg and placed it on one of her ships. “Hit.” A loud whistle behind the cafe counter signaled steaming water and Bex startled. She let out a long sigh. “A-2.”

“I’m sorry,” Morgan said quickly. “I don’t mean to-- I am being sincere in what I am saying and whatever me or my life looks like to you or anyone else peeking on main apparently, it’s-- I do know what it’s like to feel like your life isn’t yours and what you want doesn’t matter and keeping your head down and being small and left alone is the best you’re gonna get. I am deeply, intimately familiar with that feeling. I can only imagine what kind of suffering you’ve been through, but you were meant for more than that, and I’m sorry. I’ll stop, okay? Do you--” Morgan stopped as another kettle trilled, glowing with sudden heat. She made a note of the hit, but didn’t put the red peg on the board. Flustered and desperate to recover the afternoon, she pawed her pockets for her phone. “I have cats. Three of them. Do you want to see pictures of the cats? Or ask me something? This isn’t an interview. If there’s something you want to know you can--” The phone clattered onto the table. Deirdre and Anya’s faces bloomed on the lock screen. “You can do whatever you want, Bex, you don’t even have to stay.”

Everything Morgan was saying just made Bex tense up more and more. Kettle’s started shouting, left and right, even the baristas were beginning to panic, running around and removing them, but finding them still screaming, louder and louder, despite the lack of heat. A crack formed in the window next to Bex as she screwed her eyes shut and clenched her entire body. She didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her or tell her how much they understood or tell her how sad it was-- she wanted to pretend like how she was living was okay and fine and that one day she’d make it through and suddenly everything would feel okay. And just be okay. She unclenched and the whistles seemed to die down. Looked at the phone that had fallen to the table and saw the happy woman on it, smiling and beautiful. And the cat, so peaceful looking. Tears welled in her eyes. “I have to go,” she said suddenly, standing up. The chair scooted back and toppled over. People turned around to look at them. Her heart seemed to leap into her throat and the mug on the table shattered. “I’m sorry! I have to--” took a step back and all the teapots wailed again. Bex looked around frantically. “It-- It was nice to meet you, Professor Beck, but I--” she didn’t get to finish her sentence as one of the pistons on the espresso machine shot off and shattered a nearby tower of cups. Bex turned and ran before anyone had a chance to ask her anything.

“Bex, wait! You need to--!” Whatever half-assed plea Morgan was working on fizzled out under the crash of falling furniture and screaming machinery. Someone’s baby started wailing, the window buckled like it had been gut-punched, and the steam whirred louder. Morgan grabbed her coat and bag and phone. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen to downtown with Bex like this, if she could talk her down or if following would only make things worse. Shit, probably worse, right? But by the time she stumbled out the door, the girl was long gone and all Morgan had left were more questions. At least she would be able to tell Nell one thing for certain: Bexley was not okay, and under her nerves lay a sadness too deep for her to contain, especially in White Crest.

#hit or miss #wr bex #wr chatzy #wr bex chatzy #wickedswriting

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years ago

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05/13/2021 DAB Transcript

1 Samuel 14:1-52, John 7:31-53, Psalm 109: 1-31, Proverbs 15:5-7

Today is the 13th day of May welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today like every day as we come around the Global Campfire together and just find our places and allow the Scriptures to continue speaking out the journey before us. We’re in the book of First Samuel right now in the Old Testament and we have been learning about Israel's first king, Saul. And Saul indeed has a lot to teach us about leadership and about our own motivations and our own fears and all of our Achilles heels. And we will see some of that continue in the story today as we get to know Jonathan, Saul's son, Prince Jonathan. And, so, let's dive in. First Samuel chapter 14.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the book of first Samuel today we got a situation that Saul has navigated himself into. I guess probably a decade maybe, I don't know how long ago there was this song, it was a very popular song, it was even used in a television commercial, but the…sort of the lines, the payoff lines in the chorus were, “it feels like the only way is the wrong way.” I guess I always remember that song because sometimes it feels like that. It’s just kind of what Saul has navigated himself into - the only way is the wrong way. And, so, what we witnessed today is the first kind of…it's a small one, but it's an actual uprising against the king, a confrontation with the king who is supposed to have the power of life and death in his hand. And now we see that the people aren’t so sure about that, at least those in his army. So, we just read the story. Very briefly, Jonathan the Prince, like the son of the king takes his armor bearer and they go and confront the Philistines and that sets off a chain reaction where the Philistines begin to fight with each other and then the Israelites charge down and they get in the battle and Saul sort of seeing that the enemy is in disarray wants to take advantage of the situation, but trying to appear to be this mighty strong leader, like he commands his army, “nobody eats until we've got our vengeance.” And these guys are in battle. They are in hand-to-hand combat. So, they’re expending a lot of energy and they're losing it quickly, and they cannot continue without eating. And, so, this slows them down. Of course, it was Jonathan, it was Jonathan who started the whole thing. He didn't ever hear the command, “not eat anything.” And, so, he eats the honeycomb and he's refreshed and the whole thing is a little bizarre to Jonathan because he knows like everybody…we have to have energy if we’re going to fight. In the end this comes down to “God won't talk to Saul”, and Saul wants to figure out who disobeyed one of his commands. And, so, as the story goes, it's Jonathan that's identified. That…that's the situation that Saul has gotten himself into where the only way is the wrong way because he's put a curse on anybody who eats. Like he's saying that…that the person who has sinned and disobeyed him is going to die, even if it's in his own family. And, so, now he's in the situation where the Prince of Israel is about to be executed for disobeying his dad, disobeying a command that he never heard, that he didn't even know about until after the fact. So, Jonathan's like, “okay it was me. I did it and I'm ready to die.” Saul, his dad, is like “and die, you will”, basically. “And die, you shall. This is, you know, this is…this is the punishment.” It's pretty staggering, actually. And, so, the people then confront the king and there like, “no. no. this is not right. This is not how this should go because the enemy is in flight from us, and that could only be have…have been done by God. And Jonathan is the one that brought us this victory. So, there's no way we’re gonna execute Jonathan.” And, so, Saul once again then is humiliated before his people. One of the things that he is most sensitive to, like this is his weakness and he's humiliated again. He wants to be a strong leader, but probably more important, he wants to look like a strong leader. And, so, he's plagued by this insecurity. He’s like more concerned with the image of the thing than actually being the king. And that insecurity just about cost him his son. So, we can look at this story and go, “okay. I see it now. I see it.” Shake our head up and down, “yes, I see this now. I see how this is affecting his kingdom and his kingship.” And then we can take our head in disagreement. Like, “no. That…that shouldn't be done.” And then we have to go look in the mirror. How many times, how many situations have we navigated ourselves into where the only way was the wrong way? And, so, the thing we’re trying to navigate away from, right, we’re trying to protect our pride or we’re trying to keep our insecurities hidden but then we get into these situations and then we’re humiliated, and our pride is exposed and our insecurities are exposed and people get hurt and misunderstanding and just all this stuff that starts to unravel, when there was pride and insecurity and then a precipice, a fall. It’s incredibly interesting how much of ourselves we can see in king Saul and how much the story of King Saul invites self-examination and change.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit come. We invite You into…into everything that’s ever said from the Scriptures. We need You to lead us into all truth. Your…You are the final point of truth. It is You that we seek. It is Your guidance that we seek because we are quote unquote truth from all angles. Everybody thinks that they've got a corner on things when it is You and You alone that can lead us into all truth. And, so, do that please we ask of You in the name of Jesus, lead us into all truth, that we might be continually transformed, that we might be light, that we might be true, that we might be Christlike. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello DAB family this is Dr. John from Jordan New York. To the young lady that called stating that she was six weeks pregnant and not sure what to do. I heard this on my way back from the hospital just after delivering a baby. And it’s interesting because I’ve had other patients who have been told by other doctors, they can’t get pregnant and then they come to me pregnant. So, yeah, you’re not the first person to be told that and it not be true. God doesn’t make mistakes. This pregnancy is not a mistake and God has a special plan for this child of yours. Whether that’s for you to have the…the child go up for adoption to provide a couple who can’t have children with children…a child or whether it’s for you to raise a child, I’m not sure. That’s something that you’ll figure out with God. But just trust him. Trust him that he will provide a way for you, He will provide everything that you need. And be thankful for this great blessing that you have. So, if you have any questions or just want another ear you can email me [email protected]. And just put in the subject DAB and that will alert me to the sender. All right take care sweetheart. Good luck we love you and God is with you.

Hello Daily Audio Bible my name is Caroleena I’ve been listening for about three years or so thanks to my amazing sister-in-law who shared this with me. But this is my first time calling. Today in the United States we’re celebrating Mother’s Day. And I just want to pray for those who maybe are going through a difficult time and this day is not a day to rejoice, maybe if anyone has lost their mothers or grandmothers and miss them dearly or a maternal figure in their life or maybe your mom is alive but for whatever reason you’re not talking to them or maybe yourself you’ve been trying to become a mom. I was one of those and it was only until God led me to adoption that now I became a mother and my little one is my biggest joy and my biggest gift. So, Father I…I lift everyone who is suffering today, and that this day is not a day of celebration. I ask that your love it’s upon them that you make them feel that they are seen, and loved, and cared for Lord no matter the circumstances. And that whatever miracle they need in their life and that they could also hear voice clearly as to what to do Lord. We love you. We thank you for this day, despite how difficult it is for many. And thank you all our Mom’s who’ve poured so much into our lives.

Good Evening Daily Audio Bible family my name is Reverend Joseph Sackett. I was just very moved by Carissa who called in yesterday about her uncle Joey who struggles with alcoholism. I just want to let you know it struck me because I too have six siblings one of whom passed away. I am 50 years old and for 30 years of my life I was a more or less hopeless variety of alcoholic. I was saved at a young age, but I was very depressed and struggled with alcoholism from about 18 to about 45 years old. However, after finally hitting those rock bottoms and ending up homeless and in jail six years ago I can let you know that there is hope, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Nobody thought that I would ever stop drinking Charissa, but I am an Uncle Joey. I’ve been called Joey all my life. I’ve got the six siblings and I’ve got the alcohol problem. And God delivered me April 7th, 2016 and in the past six years I’ve become an ordained minister and I pastor in a recovery ministry helping other people. I just had to call him and say, Joey can make it because Joey already did. In Jesus’ name I pray for Joey to be delivered from this alcoholism and I recommend that maybe he tries out something in your community called celebrate recovery. God bless you. Brian y’all are…

This is listener in Maryland, and I have come to the community of Daily Audio Bible to the campfire. I like that analogy because if you are moving through the night and you see the light of a campfire you move towards it and when you…you get to the campfire you…you feel the warmth of the campfire and then the community of the campfire and all of that is very comforting and centering. So, this is a place that I come for comfort and centering. I do it daily usually early in the morning because that’s when I have to put on my full armor of God to make it through the rest of the day. And particularly now with this night that we are moving through, some call it the pandemic or whatever, but we need the light and warmth and destination of a campfire. So, thank you, Brian for providing this platform. Thank the staff that makes it run. And for the rest of us, give, i.e., throw a couple logs on the campfire whenever you can. And as…whatever you can to keep the light in the warmth and community of this campfire going.

Hello and greetings from beautiful Cincinnati Ohio. I’m actually…this is Daniel Johnson Junior by the way. I’m in Northwestern Hamilton County about 25 feet from the Great Miami River. I’m in a park that’s often become a place I’ve come and done a DAB long walk in many years passed. And I’m looking at the Great Miami River. It’s…it’s…it’s much greater and stays than usual. Probably the top of it’s probably traveling along at a good clip probably about 25 - 30 miles an hour. But I'm also struck by just these birds that are singing. Listen to that. God is taking care of these birds. They’re just so joyful and going out and getting their food looking for whatever it is. And I'm struck by like…Gods taken care of me too. In the past years I…there was one year that I actually wrote in the sand alongside this great Miami River first Samuel 4:12 thus far the Lord has helped us. And I took a rock from the side of this this riverbed, and I have…I have it with me today to this day. God's taken care of me. God's taken care of the birds of this air. I don’t know what my job future holds right now but God is taking care of it. And I'm struck by that emotionally today. It is made the 10th. We just got done reading one of the psalms and it was recounting Israel's history and just was another indication for me that the only way to know about Israel's history or our history and to reclaim…to talk about the ways that God has been helping us is to record it. And it's another just call for me to continue journaling. So, hey, from beautiful Cincinnati OH I wish you could be here with me right now. This is so beautiful. But you are because I'm thinking about you guys, all of you. It's Daniel Don Johnson Junior. God, bless you make it a great day.

Hi yes, my name is Dana Smith and it's been a while since I've been on here. I live in Alabama and I just have a prayer request. I work manufacturing and about two weeks ago I had finally had enough of…of being pretty much bullied at work and went to human resources. And anyways it just has been a rough 2 weeks and the men that are doing this, it's just there's a lot that's happened. I know God's in control but if you all could pray that God will soften their hearts and…and turn them away for the way that they're being, but also those that are in management that are in control that know that it's going on will step in. You know, we think as we get older that things like this won't happen, but they do. And, like I said, I know God's in control but I'm struggling because God blessed me with an amazing job, an amazing job. And because I grew up in an abusive home, I have a hard time dealing when people are…especially men…have that domineering way about them. And, so, it makes me hard to stand up for myself. And a lot of people don't understand that and they're like, “manufacturing is a rough job, a cut through job, and blah blah this.” And I'm like, you know what, it doesn't matter where you work at you should never have to put up with bullying. So again, my name is Dana from Alabama. If you all could pray that God's divine…he will divinely intervene and that everything will work out because right now being isolated and being not part of a team, it’s just gotten really bad. And this is…this is my life this is my job. And I just ask for y'all's prayers, that everything will come together in God's will. Thank you all so much.

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doomedandstoned · 4 years ago

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Gangrened Conjure Dizzying Atmosphere in ‘Deadly Algorithm’

~Review by Billy Goate~

Before us lies an enigma called 'Deadly Algorithm' (2021) by Finnish band GANGRENED, whom we've introduced you to before, when they dropped that wonderfully dreary doomer 'We Are Nothing' (2014). Let me share with you the diary of my thoughts as I immersed myself in their recently released full-length.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

Deadly Algorithm starts with gentle, quiet picking that echoes faintly, but already surrounds us with a strange, if inviting, airspace. A melodic line develops as "Harrbåda" gains volume, building it seems towards a crescendo -- then suddenly stopping as a drumroll interrupts. The atmosphere returns to quirks and quarks, increasingly distorted notes, spikes of reverberating rhythm. All the while, the same short impermanent melodic motif makes its statement, until it flitters away into the void.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

"Triptaani" makes a strong entrance, this time with galled vocal attack and a slow, but strong, guitar lead girded by the fuzz-sparked gears of bass and drum languidly moving this machine along. A hail of shredding follows, with cymbals crashing to a throbbing beat, leading to one ardent chord laid upon another. Eventually the pace slows to a crawl, with dissonant harmonies, and a wild solo from Jon Imbernon that's almost overcome by the industrial crunch of Lassi Männikkö's dumming, Joakim Udd's vile spew of noise, Mikko Mannistö's declamatory singing.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

"Hologrammi" features more familiar doom pacing with a searing riffage, a slow burn flow of bass and drums, and clean (but pissed off) crooning. It's surrounded by a mesmerizing jumble of pedal effects, noise, downtuned instrumental buzz, and crackling amps -- of which make its climactic moment of vocal delivery emphatic and powerful.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

Intricate guitar trilling action introduces “Kuningatar” and it sounds almost like temelos dancing upon its appointed harmonic scale in those opening moments. By the time the rest of the crew sounds off, it turns into a frightening ensemble, indeed. I imagine this would be quite chilling to experience in a live setting. While the vocals feel swallowed up in the great reverberating wall of sound, it seems to add to the mystique of the whole dim sound environment. Psychedelic noodling returns six minutes and if you listen carefully you can hear a seething malediction pronounced sternly beneath the fray of scattered noise, synth, and pedal effects. Great doom returns to ground us to reality and the band improvises a swirl of activity that makes me think of the wandering spirits released from the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

”Triangeli” grabs hold of us with a rumbling bass line that establishes the song’s basic theme, soon to be reinforced by guitar. Meanwhile, words are spoken with accented cymbals and hypnotic drumming. The song ends with whispered lyrics uttered over a soundgarden of riffage, soft cymbals, omnipotent bass rumble, and the cycling sounds of amp feedback. I don't know the words, and the singer refuses to share them, so that means what he's singing is left up to your fertile imagination. Or you can just enjoy the vocal aesthetic and what it contributes to this dense, dark atmosphere.

A cathartic journey, indeed, which I ventured on while I was in an especially discouraged and pissed off mood. Even though I understood not its words, I felt its sentiment and it was in some way cleansing. Available digitally, on vinyl and compact disc as an independent release (order here).

Interviewing Gangrened Guitarist Jon Imbernon

By Billy Goate

You've been a band for quite a while. I understand you are one of the founding members, too. How did Gangrened form to begin with?

Well, we were a bunch of guys living in the same area around ostrobotnia, between kokkola and new karleby, here in the center west coast of finland. so few of us had the idea to do the band so we asked the others, but none of those guys except me are still in the band. high level of mobility because studies in this area of small towns, to bigger cities of Finland.

It sounds like there are challenges keeping a band together in Ostrobotnia? I imagine it makes it ver5y challenging to get new band members to replace the old. Is there much of a music scene to speak of?

Yeah, actually I'm not from here myself. I'm Basque/Spanish and in the specific area I live, like around 110 kilometers or so, there's no real bands or scene, but if you go forward you reach Oulu in the north or Seinajoki, bigger cities with more bands and such. And yes, from the exact spot I live now, I have needed to look more than 100 kms to find new members. I'm moving in a near future to Tampere, so that should help in strengthening the line-up.

So how long has the most recent crew of Gangrened been together?

Since May of 2015, just after some dates we played with Bongzilla in Finland, the entire line-up shifted.

Gangrened basically means "gangrene" right?

It's like "corrupted," you know? Yes, the name comes from the illness.

My grandfather's big toe got infected from a cut because he didn't treat it properly. When he finally went to a doctor, they told him he would have to amputate his foot to live. He refused, stating he wanted to die with both of his feet on. So he officially died of gangrene!

Ouch! Okay...

Did you pick Gangrened for any special reason, like the corruption of society or something like that?

Yeah, that kind of reason. I wanted some grimmy name, but actually now it's getting a bit inappropriate, as we are not so typically doom sludge anymore.

How would you describe/characterize your sound now?

Well, I would say it is deep and varied. Actually, I think this record is like transitional, just because, for example, one song "Hologrammi" is an old song we included. But newer stuff goes beyond what has been previously recorded, take songs like "Triangeli" or "Kuningatar."

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

We reviewed 'We Are Nothing' back in 2014, and at the time we described your sound in terms of: "Slow, behemoth sized riffs. Excessive feedback. Fuzz worship." What would you say has changed or is different now, as your sound, style, and general musical approach has evolved?

Well, at some point, just as an exercise of abstraction to what we were doing, how it was turning out with songs like "Triangeli" or "Kuningatar" I decided to look into my whole musical background, and keep on adding elements from it. Also I got bored of the regular sludge-doom thing. So I considered it more interesting, and more comfortable to me, to keep an essence of slow and heavy music, and atmospheric at times, but not so defined inside the regular sludge-doom thing. The atmosphere feels very trippy, even psychedelic at times.

Let's talk about the new album. Why is it called 'Deadly Algorithm'? I think about 10 years ago, I never used the word "algorithm," but now it's a common word that most people at least understand in concept.

Well, I'm studying now in the university again, engineering in information technology, and at same time i'm a person a lot with strong progressive values, so through my studies and also digging on related topics like online privacy or the evolution and development of the new technologies I found alarming how the new technologies are going and its implications.

There are several key things that many people do not think about: smart phones have like six sensors on average to spot your location, plus no company gives services for free. If so, it's because the product is the user of the service. There's no other reason for that. So beginning with these facts, there are a lot of things going on that everyone should be aware of, and the album theme is all about that. Nowadays, data algorithms are making more and more decisions in our lives that no more take into account true needs as humans.

It seems like we have created our own virtual prison, without even realizing it.

Yes, but the thing is who runs the prison? not ourselves at all.

Getting into the songs themselves, are they all sung in Finnish?

Yes. At first some were in english but then the singer decided to sing all songs in Finnish.

Starting with the first song, can you tell us what each title means and what themes you explore?

The first song ("Harrbåda") is simply the name of a coastal area around here. The second ("Triptaani") is a medicine for headaches. The third song ("Hologrammi") is named obviously after a hologram. The fourth ("Kuningatar") means "Queen" and the last ("Triangeli") is "triangle."

Is there any conceptual, thematic, or spiritual relationship between these tracks?

It's quite a personal thing to the singer, he wrote the lyrics and I can't exactly tell you their meaning because Mikko Mannistö is a bit secretive about it. But personal things, yes. Personal matters to him.

Tell us a little bit about the recording process. Where did you record, with whom, and are there any memories that stand out from that time?

Well, we started recording the record in june 2018, with a friend of the singer, at some big rooms in a youth center house. We did most of the recordings with him until February of 2019. At that time, we asked a few people to mix, master, and finish the process. but nothing worked and there was some time wasted waiting for answers.

I decided moving forward we would go with someone who is recording records all the time and known by us, so we asked Tom Brooke, an English guy who lives close to Jyväskylä, runs a studio, and is the live sound technician for Oranssi Pazuzu. So we finished the record, a few more guitar tracks, mixing, and mastering with him.

I remember there was a long time between sessions, so new ideas were constantly coming to us to add to the songs for the next session. That’s why some guitar tracks were added for mixing just the day before starting to mix.

I'm sure you were relieved once all the recording, mixing, and mastering was finally done!

Yeah ! like this is the record and now its totally defined and wrapped up. As a guitarist, what can you tell us about the guitar writing on the new album? Anything that you are especially proud of or that you think the listener should pay special attention to?

The intro is all played by me, and then the weirdest stuff, noisy guitar here and there, and the first half of riffs of triptaani , i'm quite proud of the first two or three riffs, and I used to be proud about some riffs in the middle of "hologrammi." The noisiest and more psyched out guitars of kuningatar.

Tell us about what you, as a guitarist, used in the studio while recording 'Deadly Algorithm'

Well, so I used three guitars to record the album: one Gibson SG Standard from the late '90s, another SG Standard from 1980, and a Gibson Les Paul Classic from around 1991. The SG from the late '90s was ultra-modded -- I changed the finish, pickups, electronics, tuners, but in the end sold it and now it's owned by David from Slomatics. The 1980 I just bought for the recording, so it was all stock. Later, I changed the pickups. The Gibson Les Paul also had all replaced tuners, circuit pickups, and so. It's my main guitar and I used it in most of the songs. The SGs I just used for "Triangeli," the last song.

About effects, I use a Big Muff Fuzz mainly, but also a custom Dunwich Amps FuzzThrone for the ultra heavy parts, like at the end of "Kuningatar." Other effects I used were the Dunlop Echoplex pedal and the Strymon Capistan. I love tape echo sounds and these pedals emulate it. Also, another effect I really like and couldn't live without is the Earthquaker Devices Transmisser. I used it in three of the songs.

Amps used included an '80s Laney AOR Pro Tube and Orange OR120 from 1975 and a late '70s Matamp GT120. Every rhythm guitar track was recorded with two of them at same time, mainly the Matamp and the Laney. That probably is the main sound of the album, but I think "Hologrami" I recorded with the Orange and the Matamp. About cabs, I used two Orange cabs -- one with Eminence speakers the other with WGS speakers.

Have you had a chance to play live at all since the pandemic?

Nope, we haven't been rehearsing either.

If you had your choice to tour with any five bands and play in any five places, what would they be and why?

We are keeping it for when there's no risk of cancellations, we have some date plans and so on, but it sucks to cancel things so we are just waiting. I would play with Unsane in New York for example then some bands I have liked recently, even if some are inactive at this moment. Belzebong, Nightslug, Domkraft, Follakzoid, and the body also.

That would be a sick line-up!

What parts of the world would you like to travel to?

Well, I've never been to America or Asia. I have been to Europe, the UK, and Russia only.

Okay, yeah it would be cool to have you come over here and play for us sometime.

Yeah, would be nice

Lastly, did you all wear your heart on the opposite sides of your head for this photo to give the illusion that your heads are on backwards? Or was it digitally manipulated to make it look like your heads were on the wrong way? I love the concept!

I made that pic myself. I took two photographs, one of us in front and another in the backs. So then I took the heads of the back picture and put on our front bodies pic, with Photoshop. David lynch-ish vibes!

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edhaneyyy · 4 years ago

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Hope Because Humanity Is Within Us

“Being human is given.But keeping our humanity is a choice.” – Ida Protuger

This quote simply showsor tells us that humanity is a choice.Meaning wenare human ourselves but living here in this world, humanity is hard to keep for some of us.

When we get asked, what is humanity? Answering this question is just as easy as a pie. Humanity is the good qualities a human could have. Humanity is our ability to have compassion, care, empathy and love others. Humanity is helping other wherever and whenever, it is being selfless. If humanity is a person, the best example is Mother Teresa. But, the real question is, is there any hope for humanity when some of the human beings keeps on ruining humanity in our world? Our deepest humanity, however, is rooted within the fragility of all of our lives. Unless we work together we are going to be unable to save lots of the earth. If we cannot see that our vulnerabilities, and not our masks of perfection are what bind us to one another, we are going to be left wondering what's wrong with us.

There is such a common scene in human history when the media community says that men have lost their trust in humanity. That's because most people these days are starting to be cruel to themselves and others. They hurt themselves and the people around them. A common problem was the many facts that made this "virus" bigger and affected the whole world. When we talk about humanity, we should think of it only about human life, not because humanity is about humanity, including all humanity on earth. It is also a terminology of the qualities that make us human. For example, the ability to love, be considerate, be creative, and not be a robot or an alien.

We have to keep humanity within us. Why? Because that is our only key to prevent chaos in our modern world. Without a little bit of humanity do you think we can live, sleep peacefully and have friends around us? No. I listed some acts that show humanity from the website Good Housekeeping . ( https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/inspirational-stories/news/gmp5124/random-acts-of-kindness/)

1. Florence Rescue Force - After Hurricane Florence caused devastating flooding in North Carolina this fall, kindhearted citizens like Amber Hersel jumped into action. The volunteer from the Civilian Crisis Response Team helped rescue 7-year-old Keiyana Cromartie and her family from their flooded home on September 14, 2018 in James City.

2. Donor Network - The decision made by Patricia Almonte (right) to donate the organs of her late 3-year-old daughter Veronica Garcia helped save three lives: Essence Walls (left), an 8-month-old baby, received her heart; a 2-year-old received her liver; and a 68-year-old woman received her kidneys.

3. Canine Heroes - A lucky dog got a ride from some unnamed helpers in the aftermath of Hurricane Matthew two years ago. Photographer Sean Rayford caught these two men pushing a makeshift boat through the floodwaters in Lumberton, North Carolina.

4. Earthquake Heroes - Frida the rescue dog and her trainer Israel Arauz Salinas went viral for their life-saving efforts during the 7.1 magnitude earthquake that shook Mexico City in 2017. The 9-year-old Labrador has detected the bodies of 52 people during her career, and the duo recently received their own statue for their service to the Mexican navy.

5. Helping Hand - American Abbey D'Agostino and New Zealander Nikki Hamblin won a special Olympic commendation for their sportsmanship at the 2016 Rio Games. After Hamblin tripped in a 5,000-meter heat, and brought D'Agostino down with her, the American helped her competitor to her feet. Later on in the race, D'Agostino fell again as a result of her twisted leg, but Hamblin stayed by her side until the finish line.

6. Moments after posing for a fun photograph at a local beauty spot, brave teenager Cheng Changjiang was dead. Despite being unable to swim, Cheng, 18, waded into the lake to save the lives of three young children who had got into trouble in the water. But the brave act cost the teenager – branded a ‘hero’ by onlookers – his life. Cheng was enjoying the public holiday at the rural spot in Xinyang, at Henan province in central China, when tragedy struck.

7. ryclectic’ wrote: “My Buddy Witnessed an Act of Utter Kindness Today…While he was standing on the corner waiting for the crosswalk he saw this woman buy two meals at a street vender and go sit down beside this man and give him one of the meals. She proceeded to introduce herself and talk to him about his life and just shot the [breeze] with him. She wasn’t acting superior, she was his equal, she just wanted to talk to and express inclusion to a fellow human being.”

8. This is a picture of a chap called Tully holding a 46 year old, wheelchair bound man with severe mental handicaps. Tully picked him up so he could go on the hay ride with everyone else. 5 minutes into the ride the man got so excited that he peed all over himself and Tully. Tully sat there soaked in pee for the remainder of the 40 minute hay ride. As soon as it was over he changed the mans clothes before his own. If that doesn’t show character we don’t know what does.

9. I will not let you go. This woman spent 3 hours holding the horse’s head above the tide after it got stuck in the mud on a beach in Australia. The horse was later rescued, unharmed.

10. Strangers Leave her Money While She Gently Sleeps. “alexthegreat90″ wrote: “I took this picture this morning. Ever been somewhere and seen something that amazed you? I’m at the east side McDonald’s and this lady was sitting in front of me sleeping. She has everything she owns in a small backpack. Curled up with her blanket she sleeps not knowing what is going on around her. While she is sleeping everyone is getting their money out and putting it on the table so it’s there when she wakes up.”

These are only few of the acts that restored humanity. These acts showed us that no matter how cruel the world is. There are still people out there who shows kindness and selfless love without any hesitation despite any situation. So what are those things that could destroy our humanity? Stephen Hawking who is known for his work on black holes and gravitational singularities thinks that there are three things that ruin our humanity, but I will only cite two. He have this outspoken ideas about human civilization. Hawking suffers from a nerve cell disease just like amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS, which left him paralyzed and unable to talk without a voice synthesizer. But that hasn't stopped the University of Cambridge professor from making proclamations about the wide selection of dangers humanity faces -- including ourselves. He is part of a small group who voiced out their concerns about artificial intelligence.

First, according to Stephen Hawking, “The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race," "The human failing I would most like to correct is aggression. It may have had survival advantage in caveman days, to get more food, territory or partner with whom to reproduce, but now it threatens to destroy us all," The Independent reported. I believe that Hawking here is telling us that AI could destroy us just like in the movie entitled Wall-e, we could see there that the AI are already controlling every move of the humans in the ship. They are dependent to the robot around them and don’t seem to care to anyone. There would be no care, love and empathy left.

Second, if AI won’t kill us, our own self might kill us. For example, a major nuclear war would likely end civilization, and could wipe out the human race, Hawking added. When asked which human quality he would most like to chose, he chose empathy , because "it brings us together in a peaceful, loving state.” Chaos would be everywhere without humanity.

In the current time, we ask ourselves sometimes, where is humanity? There are certain issues in our modern world that made us question ourselves. Despite those, we should look at the brighter side. There are still good people who we have mentioned above.

This year, our humanity is being tested. During this pandemic time we should remember our humanity. On the occasion of taking care of the elderly, and those who are sick and needy. This is what's happening in countless hospitals, clinics and medical aid units round the world, where truth heroes of this ordeal – the doctors, nurses and physicians – are risking their lives to avoid wasting others. This deeper humanity must spread to each street, every neighbourhood, every city and each country if we are to defeat the virus with our science and technology but also showing wisdom, compassion and humanity.

In the event that food and fun are what we were destined to be, there is one thing we should remember. Indeed, even creatures can do such exercises. In the event that God made us human, there must be an explanation behind it. No one but people can comprehend the importance of mankind, and it is humankind because of insight that truly gives the center substance to human presence. You needn't bother with a solid financial balance to add to helpful exercises. Paying your family help reasonably is humankind as well. You're prepared to pay a large number of dollars for your clinical test, yet with regards to paying your collaborator; You need to spare each penny. Compassionate exercises ought to never be embraced to pick up distinction or get a superficial point of interest. You can without much of a stretch accomplish popularity through the work you do. Lifting the weighty sack of an elderly person is humankind, helping an incapacitated individual to go across the road is mankind, helping your mom at work is humankind; truth be told, it is humankind to help whoever needs it. How would we express or show mankind? One approach to show our mankind helping poor people and the individuals who crippled. Additionally utilizing indicating counterfeit mankind to pick up distinction ought to never be one your choice. Did you experience finding a major measure of cash and when you return it, there's the incredible inclination that we can't clarify? Since on the event of indicating our humankind to other people, we have that believing that we can not get.

Humanity is significant in our daily lives. It teaches us to understand the problem and gives us ideas. It helps us understand others. Humanities students specialize in writing and critical reading. Humanity encourages us to think creatively. They teach us to explain why we are human and to ask questions about our world. Humanity produces informed and critical citizens. Democracy cannot flourish without humanity. We all need to assist one another. We humans are like that. We need to live by each other’s bliss – not by each other’s hopelessness. We don’t need to despise and loathe one another. Because that's not what humanity is.

Some may say, we are losing our humanity. No, we are not losing it. We could see it everywhere. It is within us. Humanity is lively and the light is sparkling profoundly within the hearts and souls of numerous individuals from all works of life. They are of all races, societies, social status and religions. It is individuals who see their commitments to the world as their employments and they continuously inquire what can l do to contribute to distant better;a much better; a higher;a stronger; an improved" a stronger world. It’s just that, humanity is covered by our selfishness, our hatred, all negative traits that prevents us from helping and doing good for someone. Never lose hope for we still have humanity stored in us.

https://www.humanitystyle.com/new-page-5

https://kindnessblog.com/2014/11/03/34-examples-of-heart-warming-humanity/

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ask-de-writer · 5 years ago

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SPHERIC DISTORTION : a tale from Flocking Bay (1 part)

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to Flocking Bay

SPHERIC DISTORTION

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

2198 words

written 1991

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

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Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may reblog the story. They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions. I will allow those who do commission art works to charge for their images.

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Watching through the clinic window, I saw Mr. Hilstrom get out of his battered ‘52 De Soto and walk up to the door of the Blackwall Street Ophthalmology Clinic. He walked with the care of the aged, avoiding any touch of the round black stones that lined the parking lot and front walk of my recently built clinic.

I am Dr. Fredricks, Ophthalmologist, the only eye doctor in Flocking Bay. My practice is growing in a satisfactory way but I am still a newcomer in the nearly closed society of this small Maine town. In spite of my name, my background is almost pure Iroquois. My father changed his name to make his family less conspicuous in white man̓’s society.

“Doc, you gotta help me out,” Mr Hilstrom started, as soon as he got through with the receptionist and we introduced ourselves. “The license bureau says that if I can’t see better, I can’t drive no more. It’s plain ridiculous what they say. I had these glasses more’n twenty years. Had to go all the way to Bangor for ‘em. Now they tells me they ain’t good ‘nough. Humph,” he muttered, “all the way to Bangor, and they ain’t good ‘nough.”

“Well, you know how it is,” I sympathized. “In twenty years, things do change. Mostly, it’s damn government rules.” I added as a face saver, “Maybe they changed how well you have to see for driving, now.”

“I knew I was right to come to ya, young as you are,” he agreed heartily. “You do understand how things is. They can’t stop the last member of the oldest family of Flocking Bay from drivin’. Tain’t right.”

“Quite so,” I agreed politely, “Why don’t you tell me how Flocking Bay was started while I run the tests those same bureaucrats make me run to prescribe new lenses? By the by, you do want to save fifty or sixty dollars, don’t you?”

“Sure, Doc, how?” he asked in a friendly way.

“I’ll just put the new lenses into your old frames. They’re perfectly good frames, even if they are twenty years old, and they fit you exactly. Works of art they are.”

“Yep, right as rain to come here,” he cackled, gleeful at the thought of saving money. With left eye covered, he looked at the chart and said confidently, “An ‘E’ and some blurs. You allus hears about white and Indian didn’t get along.” Covering his right eye, he added, “An ‘A’,

I think, an’ some blurs - didn’t see you switch charts, Doc. Flocking Bay was the result of cooperation, pure and simple.”

“Good grief,” I thought to myself, “His glasses weren’t that strong, and he can’t read the ‘C’ on the top of this chart. The man’s a menace on the road!” Aloud, I said, “Yes, the charts come from a projector over here, and I switch them around so kids can’t memorize a chart and fool me about how good their eyes are. Cooperation? White and Indian? That’s real interesting.”

As we progressed through the various tests of visual acuity, visual field, glaucoma, and astigmatism, the whole ‘interesting’ story came out. Appalling, I would say, since it was the same story that I already knew but told by the side that won. It was told with smug, callous satisfaction. Here, in essence, is what he told me.

“It was near enough to three hundred years ago that a smallish tribe lived in the Flocking Bay area. They was called the Marquoots or Marquosts or some such heathen name. The bigger tribes around ‘em was afeared of their evil magics and shunned ‘em. They didn’t have no chief. They was lead by a Shaman with no name. He only had a a title as nobody remembers no more.

“The tribes all around ‘em made a deal with the white men. If the white men ‘ud use their guns to kill the Shaman at a distance, then their evil magic ‘ud be stopped ‘fore it c’d start. The white men ‘ud get help in destroying the rest of the tribe, and they c’d have the Marquost land to settle. A bullet in the Shaman̓s back, from ambush, did for him in spite of his black magics. That first bullet was fired by a Hilstrom.

“At the heart of the Marquost evil and black magic was a big solid slab of black stone, standing at the south end of their village. At its base was a lot of round black stones. On top of them stones, up ‘gainst the slab, all the growed-up villagers was kilt and their bodies was left there to rot. The kids was took by the other Indians to raise as slaves.

“All the bodies vanished and was never found. Nobody seen it happen. They was just gone.

“Over the centuries, that slab got two things: the name Blackwall, an’ a nasty reputation. It stayed standing in spite of crow-bars, gunpowder, an’ even dynamite. Through the years since, bunch of people has vanished somewheres near it. They named Blackwall Street after it.

“Those good Indians kept their word and white folks settled Flocking Bay.”

When the testing was done, I offered, “Let me take your frames now. I will drive you home in your car. I have a lab here at the clinic and I will make your lenses for you by tomorrow. You will have to return by bus or cab. If you give me a fare receipt or ticket, I’ll take the cost of the ride off of your lenses.”

“That’s mighty decent, Doc. You can’t make much, if you treat all your patients this good,” he accepted with a slightly snaggletoothed smile.

I took his old glasses and closed the clinic for the day, explaining as I did so, “Your story was worth it, by itself. Besides, you deserve special consideration as the last direct descendant of Flocking Bay̓’s founders.”

As we climbed into the old De Soto, he gave me the key and said, “I wish more folks felt the way you do, Doc. Most just think I’m some sort of crackpot with crazy stories. Just live straight down Blackwall, t’other end of town.”

I mostly drove in silence. Not only was the old car noisy, I was doing a lot of thinking.

“Here we are, Doc. On the left.” As I pulled into the drive, I saw that the house was very old. It was in good repair but needed paint. Hand squared beams and planks showed past the paint in many places. The front steps were worn almost through by generations of feet. The shrubs were untrimmed, and the yard was roughly overgrown with weeds.

“Hilstrom House,” he announced with such pride that you could hear the capital letters. “First house built in Flocking Bay. All the Hilstroms have been born here, lived here, and like as not, died here,”

“I’ll get a bus, down the block,” I said. “You know, there ought to be some sort of marker or something, to let people know. This house is part of their history. See you tomorrow,” I called as I headed out the drive, toward the bus stop.

Returning to the clinic, I went into the back, which was divided into living quarters and lab. I fixed a Spartan dinner while I contemplated the food for thought that I had got from Mr. Hilstrom.

I am an Iroquois by birth and blood but not only Iroquois. My many greats grandmother (most Indian tribes are matrilineal and neither the Iroquois or the Marquost were exceptions) had been sold to the Iroquois for a basket of maize and a haunch of venison. Recognized for her wisdom and hard work, the daughter of the Marquost shaman had been adopted by the honorable Iroquois. I was her last descendant.

I had come to Flocking Bay to close the ring of the past. The early diaries in the library had been frustrating. They all gave second hand accounts, told by people who came after the fact, reporting the massacre as a horror already done and none had named the settlers responsible. Now, fate had given me the last descendant of the man who, with a fatal bullet, had destroyed my ancient people. We have not forgotten, nor have they. It was time to make our own special peace.

I set about making his lenses, grinding them with care, perfectly to his prescription, yet just a bit thicker than strictly necessary.

The next day, Mr. Hilstrom arrived and picked up his glasses. He was surprised. “Everything’s crystal clear!” he exclaimed happily, “But everything’s bowed an’ bent, too!”

“Yes,” I told him, “that effect is called spheric distortion. It is a bit unsettling at first. You should hardly notice it, after a few days. If you are still having trouble on Saturday, come to see me by bus. I live in the back, so I’ll be here. Be sure not to drive until we have the problem fixed, OK?”

“OK, Doc,” he said and left.

I knew that he would be back. The extra thick lenses would cause so much spheric distortion that he would have to return.

On Saturday, Mr. Hilstrom came again. “Doc, I tell you, it’s ‘nough to make a man paranoid,” he stated as he lay on the couch in my living quarters. “Everthin’ as used to be straight, you know, phone poles, tree trunks, even walls, now they bow away from me in the middle. The closer I get, the worse they bend. It’s walls that are worst.

“Every wall, if I gets close to it, bows away in the middle but the top arches over me! The corners! They looms even further around! It’s like the wall was gonna fold in on me!”

I smiled reassuringly, “It may surprise you but I know exactly what you mean. My own first glasses were wicked that way. Turns out I can fix most of it very easily.”

As he handed over his glasses he said, “Don’t think much of your sense of humor, Doc. Paintin’ this wall black, I mean. The old Blackwall used to be hereabouts.” He leaned back on the couch and patted the wall behind him. As he did, a look of alarm crossed his face.

“A frame adjustment is all that you need,” I told him and then with straightforward honesty, “As for the Blackwall, that is it. I have been living next to it for six months, now. No harm has come to me.

“When I came here, the land it was on was the cheapest in Flocking Bay, because nobody wanted it. Using it as a main part of the building saved me near $8000.00 on construction costs.”

“Don’t know if that was wise, Doc,” he fretted. “Using it may have saved you good money but folks tell bad stories about the Blackwall.”

“You want something really funny?” I laughed, “I am an Iroquois but my lots of times great grandmother was sold to them as a slave. She was the daughter of the last Marquost Shaman. If any Marquosts were left, I would be their Shaman.

“Now, here we are, each the last descendant of ancient enemies. I am fixing your eyes so that you can go on driving and you have given me valuable family history that I could never have gotten in any other way. As for the famous Blackwall, the State Department of Geology says ‘basaltic intrusion in a sedimentary formation.’ That’s all.

“There is an old Marquost saying that has come down in my family: ‘The best peace is with an ex-enemy.’

“You just relax while I go into the lab and adjust these frames,” I said as he settled back on the couch, calm again.

At the door, I looked back and said, “You won’t have to be afraid of every wall in Flocking Bay any more. You’ll see …”

Once in the lab, I put down his glasses and picked up an ancient stone knife. I lightly cut the ball of my thumb. I pressed the bleeding thumb to the Blackwall. I felt a slight shudder in the stone. When I took my thumb away, it was healed with no trace of the cut. There was no blood on the Blackwall.

“Yes,” I said to myself as I came back into my living quarters, “You don’t have to fear every wall. Only this one.” I rolled the round black stone that was all that was left of Mr. Hilstrom off my couch and out to a place along my front walk with all the other stones. “Yes, the best peace is with an ex-enemy - especially if he’s a dead one.”

THE END

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to Flocking Bay

This completes Spheric Distortion. If you enjoyed what you just read, please go to the Master Story Index for links to all of the stories that I have posted on Tumblr.

#SPHERIC DISTORTION #Part 1 of 1 #Flocking Bay #Written by De Writer

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littlepurinsesu · 5 years ago

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[IDOLiSH7] DUSK TiLL DAWN (Story Translation 2)

*Note: This is a Chinese-to-English translation using the official Chinese translation from the TW server! There’s a small chance that some phrases may differ slightly from the original Japanese text due to different wording and localisation, but overall there shouldn’t be too much of a difference so probably nothing to worry too much about xD

CHARACTERS: Iori: Io Yamato: Yamarson Mitsuki: Mick Tamaki: Tamathony Sogo: Somas Nagi: Nagistopher Riku: Rictor

(I will include the characters’ names in brackets even if they haven’t revealed their names yet, because it would just be too confusing otherwise. I recommend having the game story open as you read so you get a better feel of the characters’ actions and expressions, since I won’t be indicating them here ^^) ---

STAGE 2

18:30

??? (Rictor): Say, Io, we should be completely safe here, right?

Io: For now, yes. But I’m not sure how long this security wall will last…

??? (Rictor): That’s true… But Io, you’re really strong!

Io: Eh?

??? (Rictor): Didn’t you save me when I was almost attacked before? You were able to take it out in one shot, amazing!

Io: It was just good luck! And their movements are slow, so as long as you aim for their feet and attack, they’ll stop.

??? (Rictor): Oh, is that so! I think you’re also amazing to be able to calmly observe this! Unlike me, wasting so many shots because I panicked…

Io: I’m part of the archery club, so I’m used to aiming for targets. Once you’re used to it, you’ll definitely be able to do it, too.

??? (Rictor): Really…?

Io: Yes. You just need to breathe in, and relax your shoulders, and then try aiming for the target. Just by doing this, your success rate should increase significantly.

??? (Rictor): I understand…! I’ll try what you said next time!

Io: By the way, it seems to have become quiet suddenly…

??? (Rictor): … Don’t know what the situation outside is like right now.

Io: … This is…! T-Take a look at this. The streets have entered a state of panic! This monster is the same as the ones that attacked the hospital before!

??? (Rictor): This is…

Io: Sigh… Don’t know if Somas is okay…

??? (Rictor): Somas?

Io: He’s my classmate. We were together just before, but I needed to come to the hospital, so we separated. I can’t get in touch with him.

??? (Rictor): So worried…

Io: …

??? (Rictor): U-Um! I’ve never gone to school, but to have a classmate you’re on good terms with must feel pretty good!

Io: N-Not really… It just increases the things you need to worry about…

??? (Rictor): What kind of person is Somas? Ah… Sorry for suddenly asking something so weird! I don’t have friends, so I’m curious as to what friends are like…

Io: It’s fine, I’m about the same…

??? (Rictor): Eh?

Io: He… Somas is a friend I’ve known since I was young. He’s the kind of person who ignores everything around him once he becomes obsessed with something. It makes me worry… I bet he’s enjoying himself right now, praising the current situation as being “just like a movie” or something.

??? (Rictor): Really…! Somas is a really interesting person!

Io: You’re… Rictor, right? Why did you come here?

Rictor: I was called over by someone, but I wasn’t able to meet them…

Io: Who called you over?

Rictor: The doctors* who looked after me when I was little. They gave me this and told me to come…

Io: A letter…?

Rictor: “Oct.30 16:00 We’ll be waiting for you at Central General Hospital. We will tell you the truth.”

Io: … What does “the truth” mean…?

Rictor: I don’t know… But I think it has to be something really important.

Io: Is that so… You seem to trust them a lot.

Rictor: Yes! Those two are really important people to me! Ah, this was given by them as well! “Wear it anytime and anywhere, giving you good air anytime and anywhere! Recite the magic spell: Clean Air antivirus mask~” ** Pretty cool, right!

Io: Oh… Um, there was something I’ve been wanting to ask…

Rictor: What is it?

Io: What’s up with that mask of yours?

Rictor: What do you mean “what’s up?” Because it’s really dangerous outside, isn’t it? There’s stuff like viruses and bacteria everywhere, and the air isn’t clean! It’s so dangerous, so why aren’t you wearing an antivirus mask?

Io: Normal people don’t wear them! You really are a weirdo…

<ROAR>

Rictor: Ah…! The security wall…!

<CLICK>

Io: C-Calm down! Just accurately take them down one by one!

Rictor: I-I understand…!

19:15

Io: Huff, huff…!

Io: No, there’s no end to this!

Rictor: —! Io, watch out…!!

Somas: Io!

Io: Somas…! Great, you’re okay! I contacted you so many times!

Somas: Sorry, I think I dropped my phone while running… Ah, but these people saved me, so I’m okay! And I have a pistol!

Io: Pistol… So that’s how it is, isn’t this the gun that caused chaos during training?

Mick: Is he the friend you mentioned?

Somas: Yes! He’s Io!

Nagistopher: And this is?

Rictor: I’m Rictor!

Mick: …! Your white robes…

Rictor: Ah, I’m a researcher from the “World Reflective Unit.”

Io: The “W.R.U.,” so you’re an elite!

Rictor: Eh? Is that so?

Mick: Captain…!

Nagistopher: Hmm… Rictor, where’s the vaccine?

Rictor: Eh… Vaccine… Wh-Who are you people!? I can’t talk to people I don’t know!

Mick: What?

Io: Sorry, he’s been taught not to speak with people he doesn’t know.

Mick: Where did this overprotected young master come from?

Nagistopher: I’m Nagistopher, the captain of the special forces unit “I.DOL.” This is Mick, he’s also a member of the same unit. And they’re regular civilians.

Yamarson: … I’m Yamarson. I was attacked before, and they saved me.

Somas: I’m…

Rictor: You’re Somas, right!

Somas: Eh?

Rictor: Io told me you were a weird friend!

Io: Wait…! Don’t say things that could cause a misunderstanding!

Rictor: Eh… S-Sorry…!

Somas: Hahaha, it’s fine! Io often says that about me.

Nagistopher: Rictor, we’ve introduced ourselves, so now you know us. Is it okay now?

Rictor: Ah… yes, thank you. U-Um… Since you guys are searching for the vaccine… that is to say, the cause of the matter is that virus…?

Nagistopher: What does that virus mean?

Rictor: The “D-X virus”…

Nagistopher: … Is that so…

Rictor: I-Is something wrong?

Mick: So it seems that you know about the “D-X virus,” huh.

Rictor: Eh? Because, aren’t you guys here to look for the vaccine for the “D-X virus?”

Mick: The captain didn’t say what kind of vaccine.

Rictor: Ah…!

Nagistopher: I heard that the vaccine is in this hospital. Where is it?

Rictor: I-I don’t know! I’m just a basic-level employee… So I don’t have anything to say about this…!

Mick: Sigh… You said you’re called Rictor, right? We don’t want to get physical, either.

Rictor: P-Please wait a moment! This is top secret!

Mick: Top secret… Then why does a basic-level employee like you know about a virus that’s been classified as top secret?

Rictor: Th-That’s because… I grew up in the laboratory…

Yamarson: Hey! What vaccine are you guys talking about? Will that vaccine be able to stop infections…!?

Mick: Yes, that’s what I’ve heard. The streets have already entered chaos, and the virus is spreading out of control. If we want to control the situation, we need that vaccine.

Nagistopher: Rictor, please tell us everything you know.

Rictor: But…

Io: Rictor…

Rictor: … The vaccine… isn’t here…

Yamarson: …! Then where is it!

Somas: Yamarson! Calm down…!

Yamarson: … Sorry.

Rictor: In the lab… In the lab of “W.R.U.” It’s being protected in a heavily guarded place in there.

Mick: … I understand. It’s inside the lab, right?

Nagistopher: This is Handsome. Sugar, are you listening? The vaccine is in the “W.R.U.” lab. It’s inside the institute.

<BUZZ>

Radio noise (Tamathony): I’m listening~ I looked up the route and sent it over just now.

<BUZZ>

Nagistopher: Route confirmed.

Rictor: U-Um! Wait! It’s not the lab on ground level!

Mick: What? What do you mean by not the lab on ground level?

Rictor: There’s a lab underground, too. It’s there…

Somas: There are labs underneath this city!? S-So cool…!!

Nagistopher: Sugar, give me the underground map.

<BUZZ>

Radio noise (Tamathony): Hang on~ Underground, underground, underground~ Uh, Captain, I can’t find any information beneath the ground. Hmm~ But there’s an area where the information is especially messed up. Feels like someone messed with the data…

<BUZZ>

Nagistopher: Understood. Rictor, please lead the way.

Rictor: Eh!? Me?

Nagistopher: You’re the only one who knows how to get there.

Rictor: … I understand. This way, please.

<ROAR>

Yamarson: Hey, the exit…!

Somas: Wow, this is bad…! So many Gathereds! It really is like a movie plot, right, Io!

Io: What are you saying! This isn’t a movie, it’s reality!

Mick: If this continues, we’ll be at a disadvantage… What should we do, Captain?

Nagistopher: Mick, prepare the grenade.

<BUZZ>

Radio noise (Tamathony): A grenade won’t be enough for a number as large as this. All of you get down, I’m coming~

<VROOM>

Mick: Sugar? Don’t tell me you’re planning to…!

Nagistopher: Get back, quickly!!

Io, Yamarson, Somas, Rictor: …!

Radio noise (Tamathony): Disabling security system… Okay, I’m coming!!

20:00

<ROAR>

<VROOM>

??? (Tamathony): Tada~! Reinforcement has arrived!

Mick: “Tada~!” your head. Are you trying to kill us!

??? (Tamathony): Oh! If it’s Captain and Mick, there shouldn’t be a problem, right? See, aren’t you all alive and well?

Mick: We’re not the only ones here, there are regular civilians, too!

Io, Yamarson, Somas, Rictor: Sob sob…

Io: What exactly happened…?

??? (Tamathony): They look fine.

Mick: Seriously, you… Ah! Say, why did you come down! What about the helicopter?

??? (Tamathony): I set The Pudding to autopilot mode, don’t worry~ It’ll come when I call for it!

Mick: Call for it, huh… Sigh… But don’t you hate coming to the ground?

??? (Tamathony): Mm, I really hate it. But what I hate even more is encountering something I cannot analyse. So I want to make sure with my own eyes! Alright, no worries! I drank pudding drink before coming, so I’m super energized right now! Watch carefully~ Hey! Ha, hey!

Mick: Sigh… But it’s pretty convenient that you can be this energized just by drinking an ordinary drink…

Somas: Um… this person is…?

Mick: Ah, sorry, we got you guys involved just then. This is Tamathony. He’s our teammate. He can be a little weird sometimes, but he’s smart and good at combat.

Tamathony: That “weird” part wasn’t necessary~

Somas: I’m Somas, and this is my friend Io. Nice to meet you!

Tamathony: Mm~ So then, the one over there with glasses is Yamarson, and you must be Rictor, right?

Yamarson: Eh…

Tamathony: I heard everything through the radio~

Nagistopher: We should get going now… Otherwise we won’t be in time for the anime broadcast.

Mick: Uh… Captain, you’re still concerned about that…

Nagistopher: Rictor, please lead the way.

Rictor: Okay, I understand. We can get to the underground lab via the underground subway tracks.

Io: Underground subway tracks?

Rictor: There are hidden passageways in the underground subway tracks, and they can lead us to the lab.

Somas: Not just hidden passageways, but also an underground secret institute…! I’m so excited!

Io: Somas, even though I’ve said this many times, I need to remind you that we aren’t filming a movie.

Somas: Mm, I know that. But my heart can’t help but flutter…

Io: Sigh…

Yamarson: Anyway, let’s hurry up and go. If we keep staying here, those guys will come again.

Rictor: Right, hopefully the lab is fine…

Yamarson: …! Huff…

Somas: Yamarson, are you okay? You don’t look so well…

Yamarson: No, I’m fine, just a little tired is all.

Rictor: … Yamarson?

Yamarson: What.

Rictor: Have we… met somewhere before?

Yamarson: … I don’t know you.

Rictor: Is that so…

Io: Is he really okay? He really doesn’t look too well…

Tamathony: Hey~ We don’t have time for breaks. Oh right, Mick, give him that. That thing that can make people super high!

Mick: Don’t say it so weirdly like that. It’s just an ordinary energy drink! Here, even though it’s temporary, it should help you feel a bit better.

Yamarson: … Thanks.

Io: You okay…?

Yamarson: … Mm, I’m a bit better.

Tamathony: Then let’s go~

*Just a clarification that “doctor” here refers to the PhD kind of doctor and not the medical one!

**This is supposed to be a song, but I cannot for the life of me think of a less awkward way to translate it into English xD So just… imagine that he’s singing it with rhyme and everything ^^;;

---

Stage 1 | STAGE 2 | Stage 3 | Stage 4 | Stage 5

---

Follow me on Twitter for more IDOLiSH7 fangirling! ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

#idolish7 #i7 #ainana #dusk till dawn #translation #mine #fandom

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racefortheironthrone · 5 years ago

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Thoughts on House of X #6

The penultimate issue!

While You Slept, the World Changed:

Before I get into the content, let me say that I think Hickman et al. really brought it with their two final issues, which are some of the best of the miniseries.

Showing Hickman’s love of circular storytelling, we flash back to the speech from the very first page of House of X #1, where Xavier announced the formation of Krakoa. The always-frustrating timeline is cleared up a little: Xavier’s speech happened a month ago, although we know from that same issue that work had been going on on Krakoa for “months” before the announcement - more evidence that the schedule was important.

Despite this all of this preparation, Xavier takes a moment before the speech to ask Moira and Magneto to join him for this “leap of faith,” which requires “total commitment.” (Which is interesting, given Namor’s questioning of same.) Moira agrees quickly, but then hangs back and watches, as is her wont (as we’ll see in Powers of X #6).

By contrast, Magneto makes a significant shift from his earlier pledge of unrelenting accountability to burying the hatchet completely (I love how “all the anger at the other’s relentless ideology and unyielding persistence” so perfectly describes both men) and promises his complete support (and possibly more, depending on how you interpret the hand-on-hand-on-shoulder panel) going forward. That’s a big moment for the two of them.

And then we get Xavier’s speech in full, which I’m going to do my best to annotate.

“Humans of the planet Earth...I am the mutant Charles Xavier and I bring you a message of hope. ”

The first thing I’ll note is that we’re already seeing a rather significant change in Xavier’s behavior: for decades, Charles Xavier refused to come out of the closet as a mutant even when asked directly, and only did so in New X-Men when possessed by Cassandra Nova. Here, he’s straightforwardly describing himself as “the mutant Charles Xavier,” putting his group identity before even his name.

Secondly, there’s an interesting tinge of classic sci-fi in the way that Xavier addresses “humans of the planet Earth” - it’s very reminiscent of The Day The Earth Stood Still - and I wonder whether part of this has to do with the so far largely unspoken Krakoan ambition of beating humanity to the Moon, to Mars, and the stars themselves.

“In the coming days, you will learn of several far-reaching pharmaceutical breakthroughs that have been discovered by mutant scientists. These drugs extend human life, heal disease of the mind, and will prevent - or cure - most common maladies. Influenza, Alzheimer’s, ALS, many cancers...gone. Overnight. These drugs will make life on this planet...better. Remarkably so.”

First, this is very much of a part of Hickman’s technocratic futurism from his F.F run, which I have to imagine often leads to a bit of frustration with the editorial mandate not to use super-science to make the world unrecognizable.

At the same time, I’m all the more convinced that the point of this proffer (in addition to buying U.N votes and diplomatic recognition) isn’t to mess with human biology - I think the drugs actually do what’s advertized, rather than mind-controlling people or activating the X-gene - but rather (according to what we learn in Powers of X #6) to dull the drive to achieve post-humanity, solving humanity’s problems but leaving the source out of their hands. This is a theme that featured quite heavily in the finale to Hickman’s Transhuman.

“All this...we have made for you. In the past they would have been a gift. Something freely given by me -- to you -- because I believed it would create harmony between our two peoples. That was my dream -- harmony -- but you have taught me a harsh lesson: that dream was a lie. You see, all I ever wanted was peace between humans and mutants. All I ever wanted was to love you and for you to love us.”

Here’s a great example of how comics can use text and imagery in different ways. Visually, what this page shows us is different levels of humanity: ordinary people in a hospital room, who see Xavier’s speech as a message of hope, the promise of deliverance from disease; a board room full of businessmen who probably see either opportunity or competition, depending on their market position; and a situation room of national security types who represent human power structures that have always viewed mutants as a threat.

At the same time, I think the text is an answer, if not a rebuke, to those fans who’ve been decrying Charles Xavier as acting “out of character” or spinning conspiracy theories about how it’s actually the Maker or the like. This is clearly the same Charles Xavier, who has come to change his mind about his vision of society, because he’s seen how humans have responded over again. (I think it also gets at one of the problems of grounding the X-Men in a “dream” of harmonious co-existence when genre conventions prevent that dream from ever coming to fruition. Especially given how the serial nature of comics leads to repetitions of “anti-mutant hysteria,” it’s not surprising how much of the fandom have shifted to a “Magneto Was Right” perspective.)

“We wanted to save you -- and we did, many times -- but in return, all you did was stand by while evil men killed our children. Over 16 million of them. So there will be no gift...for you have not earned it. We will -- however -- let you pay for it. In return for two things, we will provide you with the means to have a better life. One without pain or suffering and full of hope -- and it will cost you so little.”

Here, instead of constrasts, the text and images are working in concert, with the art giving pointed examples of whom Xavier is referring to - pointing to the Avengers as “stand[ing] by while evil men killed our children” (given that the Avengers tend to specialize in threats to the planet, but have had a decidely mixed record when it comes to threats to mutants specifically, to say nothing of the fallout from the Scarlet Witch’s actions), or the Fantastic Four as having “not earned” his “gifts,” given that the FF haven’t exactly been at the forefront of applying scientific advancement to specifically mutant concerns. Similarly, Doctor Strange was willing to brave the dangers of hell to bring the city of Las Vegas back from the dead, but didn’t do the same for the victims of Genosha.

At the same time, it becomes clear that what Xavier is getting at isn’t just direct complicity in anti-mutant violence, but the broader systemic problems of human apathy towards anti-mutant violence. (Although, to be fair, he’s bringing this up as, essentially, emotional blackmail to justify his economic policies and his political demands.)

On a different topic, it’s interesting that Xavier is offering something of a utopia for humanity - “a better life...without pain or suffering and full of hope” - but may instead be planning to put humanity inside a walled garden where they will be cared for but kept out of mutant-kind’s way.

“First, you must accept the island of Krakoa as the nation-state of all mutants on this planet. We will happily go through the same process as any newly formed nation with the U.N, but there is an expectation that our sovereignty will be recognized. Second, all mutants -- by birth -- can claim Krakoan citizenship. And with that citizenship, we expect a period of amnesty. So that those who have been singled out as criminals -- or punished and imprisoned by humans -- can overcome man’s bias against mutants.”

So here we get Xavier’s main political ask: international recognition of Krakoan sovereignty, mutant citizenship, and amnesty for mutants in prison.

It’s clear from his tone, however, that Krakoa is going through the “same process as any newly formed nation” mostly as a formality, with “an expectation that our sovereignty will be recognized” - both because humanity needs what Xavier is offering and the unspoken fact of mutant power.

One thing that caught my eye is that the citizenship/amnesty isn’t just a one-for-one copy of Israel’s law of return; given the heavy focus on human judicial system’s “bias against mutants,” it also borrows heavily from the 1966 platform of the Black Panther Party, which called for “freedom for all Black men held in federal, state, county and city prisons and jails,” because they had been denied a trial by jury of their peers.

“From this day forward, mutants will be judged by mutant law, not man’s. These are our simple demands, and they are not negotiable. In return for making our lives better, we will do the same for you. And if you find yourselves asking, who are these mutants to think they can dictate terms to us? We are the future. An evolutionary inevitability. The Earth’s true inheritors. You closed your eyes last night believing this world would be yours forever. That was your dream. And like mine...it was a lie. Here is a new truth: while you slept, the world changed.”

Here’s where we get a firm statement of mutant-kind’s manifest destiny, although how accurate a description of “evolutionary inevitability” it might be is up for debate, given what we learn about Moira’s Sixth Life in the next issue. No wonder that Magneto is eating it up, but Moira seems more ambivalent.

One important thing to note: as the art demonstrates, ORCHIS is very much in operation when Xavier makes his announcement. Rather than being a response to a more militant and separatist Krakoa, their motivations are much more driven by eugenic fears of demographic replacement, which is way less defensible.

Quiet Council of Krakoa Infographic:

In the wake of Powers of X #6, we now have to ask ourselves whether the (un-elected, possibly temporary) Quiet Council is, if not a Potemkin government (this would be a bit much, given what they get up to in this issue), but perhaps not the only locus of authority on Krakoa.

In addition to continuing the naturalistic themes of Krakoa, I wonder whether the Autumn/Winter/Spring/Summer designations suggest a kind of rotating chair system for a council in which all are supposedly equal...but who is primus inter pares? Xavier is acting as speaker, setting out the agenda and moving the action along, but he’s not the only voice in the room - a sign that he is sharing power to a significant extent.

So let’s talk about the membership of the Quiet Council:

Autumn: here we have the three ideological leaders whose ideas have led to the formation of Krakoa (although Apocalypse’s contributions are less public), and potentially Moira’s exes (although we never learn whether Moira was romantically involved with Magneto in her Eighth Life).

Winter: is “where we parked all of the problem mutants” other than Magneto. Mostly, this seems to be on the basis of both necessity and “better inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in.” One question I have is whether Exodus, as someone who used to basically worship Magneto, is a vote that Magneto can count on, since clearly he and Sinister aren’t on the same page, and Mystique is very much on her own.

Spring: here is Emma’s quid-pro-quo, and a recognition that the economic and foreign policy might of the Hellfire Corporation has to be represented within the governing structure of Krakoa. Given the structure (down to the very seating), I have to think that Xavier and Magneto had always planned for the third vote that Emma demanded. It’s also quite notable in later deliberations how limited Sebastian Shaw’s influence is on the Council.

Summer: as we might expect, given who’s extending the invitations, Xavier gives three seats to “my children,” which gives Xavier at least four votes that he can count on - although Ororo, Jean, and Kurt clearly have their own minds and priorities. As the Krakoan national project continues, counting votes will only become more important.

Speaking of which, we can’t forget about Krakoa and Cypher. While not formally one of the twelve, they are nonetheless a powerful influence who have a voice if not a vote on the Council. And ultimately Krakoa’s voice is quite loud, because the whole enterprise cannot happen without its consent.

The Great Captains:

So here we see the division of civilian and military government, with the “great captains..assum[ing] the responsibility of defending the state” during “times of conflict or war.”

The more curious question to me is what counts as a “state-related excursion” - it would seem to cover X-Men missions like the one at Sol’s Forge and at the ORCHIS facility in X-Men #1, but does it mean that Kate Pryde wouldn’t be in charge of her own vessel if Bishop steps on board? Does it cover X-Force clandestine operations, or would plausible deniability be important? Who does X-Force report to?

Cyclops as first among equals makes sense, although it does raise a question of what happens when you have two other captains in the field.

So Bishop makes sense as a head of whatever the name of the agency in charge of resurrection-related investigations is (possibly X-Factor), but I was surprised to see him show up in Marauders #1.

I wonder what Magik’s role as a Captain is supposed to be, especially since it seems she’ll be heading off to space in New Mutants. Down the line, I’m going to guess she’ll be involved in Krakoa’s version of Inferno, but what’s her intended role supposed to be?

Finally, what’s Gorgon’s role as Captain supposed to be.

The First Laws of Our Nation

Before I get into the content of this section, I want to talk about the beautiful panelling here that starts wide, shrinks down to the nine panel grid as the political debate intensifies, and then opens up again once the decision is made.

Similarly, I like the use of the two key symbols: the X of the chairs and the sigil on the ground (secular authority), Krakoa’s face looming over them all like a heart tree (spiritual authority)

Given what we learn in Powers of X #6 about why various council members was chosen, describing three of the four seasons as “family, friends, and allies” is highly ironic.

Sabertooth is removed from watery confinement - which, if Krkaoa can just hold people in water bubbles for an extended period, why isn’t that the punishment used late? - and Kurt sets an appropriately Biblical tone by noting that “our first bit of business is the oldest kind on this planet...judgement.” (Appropriately for Kurt’s themes, the judgement in question also centers on how to punish the first murder in this new land, and ends with exile.) Also, for those of you keeping track of how much Krakoan justice accords with human conceptions of justice, I will point out that Sabertooth comes out of the bubble threatening his judges/jury, which is never a good look for a defendant.

So let’s talk about the trial:

One of the things that jump out to me immediately is that it’s interesting seeing Magneto in the role of an idealist - “this is the establishment of a nation...and I would have it be one of laws.” - whereas Xavier’s acting as the pragmatist, acknowledging that “I cannot say everyone here best represents the ideals of what any society should be based on,” but that they have to do the best with what they’ve got. Ultimately, I think this is a tension at the heart of all national projects.

Meanwhile, we get precisely three speakers in before conflict erupts: Sinister is a camp shit-stirrer who (publicly, anyway) really only partakes in the meeting to poke at Xavier and Exodus. Meanwhile, showing how little bloc voting there will be in the “problem mutant” camp, Exodus goes right for direct threats, prompting Sinister to propose criminalizing “mutant-on-mutant violence” (again, the political resonances here are obvious), not because he believes murder is wrong but because he’s enjoying trolling Exodus.

Showing how much Krakoan technology and the...unique worldviews of the Council members are going to produce new forms of political philosophy, Aopcalypse opposes Sinister’s motion, because he doesn’t think it should be “a crime to kill someone who cannot be killed,” since killing mutants is now a non-lethal way of testing them for social Darwinian worthiness.

This clearly does not track with Storm’s morality, and in a rare moment in HOXPOX where we get to see Jean Grey operating as a forceful political presence, she uses Storm’s interjection to pivot to an appeal to “the highest of ideals” (perhaps aiming her words at Magneto as well as her fellow X-Men) that it should be the “highest crime...killing someone who cannot come back.” (This is more in line with her more recent appearances in X-Men: Red.) Thus, the Second Law of Krakoa is established...without actually taking a vote. It seems that the Council operates on the basis that any proposal not actively objected to becomes law, which I imagine the political scientists out there have some thoughts on.

Before the law passes, Mystique raises the question of self-defense against human aggression (which fits her first X-appearance nicely). Showing how much his earlier views have shifted now that he’s operating in the context of a mutant nation-state, Magneto distinguishes between “murder” and killing “done in defense of a nation,” and while that question is formally tabled, it does suggest an exception for formal armed conflict at least in the founder’s intent.

Supporting my theory that he’s going to be the de-facto Chairman or Speaker, Xavier not only drives the agenda (although he’s not alone in this, Magneto is definitely acting in this capacity), but also makes sure to “call the question,” deciding when proposals become law as long as no one objects.

Another point wrt to the justness of this process: well before he’s found guilty, let alone sentence is passed, Sabertooth threatens murder and cannibalism against his judges...which isn’t a persuasive defense against murder charges (even if he’s just threatening the murder of mutants...which isn’t legal AFAWK, just not as illegal as the murder of humans.)

A nice bit of character work, and another rare rmoment where we see Jean’s power in action, Emma and Jean collaborate to silence Sabertooth’s ranting.

With the Second Law established, and Sabertooth’s trial technically in abeyance, the Council moves on to “any new business.”

As we might expect from a neoliberal robber baron, Sebastian Shaw calls for “property rights, wealth, currency,” to be legislated for next.

In an interesting turn of events, Doug Ramsey interjects that “Krakoa is alive. Not a place, or a biome -- a person.” Krakoan (real) property rights will have to have a decidedly non-capitalist orientation, because as we see further in Marauders #1, in addition to not having rights in the land, you have to ask for Krakoa’s consent in order to build grow a house.

In a development I didn’t see coming, Storm takes the position that that mutants can still own property, but “it has to be...out there...in the world. No one has said we have to run from it.” This is somewhat more capitalist than I might expect from Storm, but it does make sense that someone with her particular entanglements in the wider world would take a less isolationist position. This raises an interesting question: if mutants own property in a sovereign nation, and they decide to plant Habitat flowers on their property, does that make that property now part of Krakoa?

Doug’s position gets supported by Exodus (in a characteristically religious tone), and Xavier once again calls the question, creating the Third Law of Krakoa. For those of us keeping track of the colonial theme, it is interesting that this largely European-led nation state has taken a legal position on land ownership that’s much more associated with indigenous peoples.

Befitting her role as the true power in the Hellfire Trading Company, Emma Frost tables the discussion of economic legislation, due in no small part to it impinging on Krakoan diplomacy and international economic policy.

With a decidely mocking air aimed at her son, Mystique shifts the agenda from the secular to the sacred. After a moment’s thought, Kurt who fires back with the original “manifest destiny” out of Genesis (the first creation), and we get the First Law: “make more mutants.” In addition to continuing the very horny feel of the issue, this law raises a set of interesting questions about Krakoan attitudes with regard to the right to choose, access to family planning services, and sexuality - although as Hickman has pointed out, the implications of an egg-based system for (re)growing people point in completely different directions. Why assume Krakoa will follow human social mores in any area?

With the fundamental laws established, the Quiet Council can now decide how to apply them to Sabertooth:

In an example of how subtly powerful agenda-setting can be, Xavier makes the question of voting guilty or not guilty a question of “making an example...that no one is above mutant law” or “giving you one last chance.” Fitting his somewhat collectivist bent in Powers of X #1, he frames this question not in terms of the civil rights of “Mr. Creed,” but in terms of how the decision “benefits our new society.”

While it doesn’t quite settle the post facto question, Magneto argues that Sabertooth’s killing of the Damage Control guards violatted the “strict instructions” he was given when Magneto dispatched him on the mission, making it not merely a question of the First Law but also of obedience to the chain of command. Apocalypse, who knows something about managing an aggressive workforce, agrees.

Sinister and Exodus, for once, are on the same page, and while Mystique ultimately goes along with the emerging majority, her body posture and dialogue suggests a degree of internal conflict - after all, she was the one leading the mission, so some responsibility falls on her shoulders.

Turning to the X-Men side of the room: as befits his spiritual role, Kurt feels shame for not turning the other cheek, Jean takes a moment but is more assured, and of course Storm has no problem with a bit of divine judgement.

Continuing the trend of divisions among the Hellfire Club, Emma is all about getting rid of Sabertooth, while Sebastian goes along with the emerging consensus because he doesn’t care.

And once again proving that a defendant representing themselves is always a bad idea, before all the votes are in (and we don’t know whether Krakoan juries require a unanimous verdict) or the sentence is given out, Sabertooth threatens familicide of the Quiet Council. Not exactly a strong argument for leniency, since Sabertooth hasn’t exactly been pleading innocence at any point.

Finally, Doug asks Krakoa to bring the hammer down, and Sabertooth is dragged down to hell put into an oubliette. As Xavier explains, “we cannot send you back into the world” (because Sabertooth is a serial killer who can’t restrain himself, and Krakoa just promised the world it would hold mutants accountable for their actions), they won’t jail him because “we tolerate no prisons here” (this seems a technicality), they won’t kill him, because seemingly the “resurection protocols” are non-optional (which is interesting, given what we learn about Destiny in the next issue), and so they “exile him.”

One interesting question: given the resources available to them, why is it necessary to leave him “aware but unable to act on it” rather than have him be unconscious during stasis? My guess is that Xavier wants to motivate Sabertooth to “redeem” himself down the line.

And then finally, we get Xavier’s concluding statement, where I think Hickman’s views on nation-states (“it’s distasteful, I know, this business of running a nation”), the proper attitudes one should have about holding and exercising political power (”I pray we never get used to it...never grow cold from it...never learn to love it”), and even parenthood come through.

Just Look At What We’ve Made:

But in the meantime, the council emerges to what almost everyone has analogized to the Return of the Jedi celebration: not only do we see bonfires and fireworks and a riot of color everywhere, but we see mutants flying around, using their powers, for the first time really feeling that they can live as mutants without fear for their lives.

As the Quiet Council walk down the steps, we see some of the reasons why and the consequences: the Five party as one, but near them we see the formerly dead raising a glass with the living. And echoing Magneto’s earlier statements about how Krakoa will change the way mutants see their own powers, we see Siryn and Dazzler combining their powers for the purposes of culture rather than warfare or high tech.

Xavier’s final message is that the Quiet Council will work like hell to ensure that the next generation of mutants “sleep in soft fields of lush green, staring at the stars and dreaming of a future where they hold those stars in their hands.” Once again, a sign that Krakoa’s manifest destiny lies in space, a common theme of Hickman’s from his FF run. As this happens, we see three of the O5 goofing around (I’m surprised how many people didn’t notice that Bobby had frozen Warren’s drink while he wasn’t looking), and Exodus leading storytime with the children as Sinister watches in the background.

But that’s not what people are really here for - as nice as it is to see Broo and Synch and Skin and Pixie, what people really care about is the Jean/Logan/Scott panel. As the now infamous architectural diagram in X-Men #1 makes very clear, this is not a case of a mere open marriage: the most famous romantic triangle in X-Men history is now a throuple, founded on the principle of beer and tummy rubs.

Almost as exciting for much of the fandom is the next page, where Jean goes to make peace with Emma while Scott hangs out with Alex. One of the big questions going on is what Emma’s role is in the polycule, since she doesn’t seem to be living at the Summer House. My guess is that Emma is “part of it” (to quote David S. Pumpkins), but may only be with Scott, and definitely would refuse point-blank to share communal living quarters with Logan. We will have to wait for more evidence to be sure.

And so we end with Xavier and Magneto looking out over the celebration, taking a moment to feel (rightly?) proud of “what we have made.” And yet, all is not well, because Apocalypse, the third ideological force who (through Moira) helped to create Krakoa, broods on what he lost when Krakoa was born.

Krakoa Infographic:

With Krakoa now extant as a nation-state, we get one more infographic...that shows us that there is a Krakoa Atlantic to go along with Krakoa Pacific. This points to an important truth about this new polity - it would be a mistake to see Krakoa as an island nation like Genosha or Utopia, because the nation of Krakoa exists wherever the physical entity of Krakoa exists. It’s in the Pacific and the Atlantic, it’s on the moon, it’s on Mars, it’s everywhere a Krakoan flower has been planted. Which makes it a post-geographic power.

So what’s on Krakoa Atlantic?

The Pointe is one of Xavier’s Cerebro back-up locations, so that an attack on Krakoa Pacific won’t destroy the database.

Danger Island is the X-Men’s new and expanded training facility.

Transit allows for instant transportation between Pacific and Atlantic to allow the X-Men to respond to a threat to either island or cradle, and possibly a final keep to fall back to if everything else is lost.

And finally we get one last map of Krakoa (All), and there’s a lot we don’t know about these locations:

The House of X and the House of M are Xavier and Magneto’s residences, and the location of one of the Cerebro “cradles.”

The Arbor Magna is the big tree where the Resurrection system is located in/on.

The Arena we don’t know anything about, but from the name it suggests that it’s a combat-oriented location, either for training or for entertainment purposes.

The Akademos Habitat is almost certainly Krakoa’s educational facility that Jean mentions back in House of X #1, but the fact that it’s a Habitat is interesting, because a Krakoan Habitat is a ”self-sutained environment” of its own that is “part of the interconnected consciousness of Krakoa,” and I had thought that having a Habitat on Krakoa itself, as opposed to one out on the moon or Mars would be redundant. My guess is that this is meant to provide an additional layer of safety to the next generation of mutants.

We saw Transit back in House of X #1, this Transit location is the Grand Central Station for Greater Krakoa, linking all gateway locations together. Yet another sign that, for Krakoa, their nation has a different conception of distance.

The Oracle is, I would guess, probably one of the Krakoan Systems, most likely either Sage’s or Beast’s part of the system.

I don’t know what the Grove is supposed to be, but given its proximity to the Akademos Habitat, I think it’s supposed to be a living space, possibly just for the young and possibly not.

The Cradle, it turns out, is just a cradle.

The Resevoir could be that lagoon we saw back in House of X #1, which would make sense if the Wild Hunt is a nature preserve, because animals love to congregate at watering holes.

The Carousel’s name suggests it’s an entertainment facility.

We know what Bar Sinister is from its last appearance; it turns out that Sinister recreated his little island Edwardian eugenics nightclub on Krakoa. Interesting that it’s locsated so close to Transit; maybe Sinister wants to be able to make a quick getaway.

Speaking of the fruits of faustian bargains, it turns out that the quid-pro-quo for becoming the economic engine of a nation is that the Hellfire Trading Company gets a whole Hellfire Bay to itself as its headquarters.

Red Keep is almost certainly Kate Pryde’s new pad, which is conveniently ocean-ajacent for our newest mutant pirate privateer queen.

Blackstone is Sebastian Shaw’s Gilded Age “gentleman’s” club.

The White Palace is naturally Emma’s boudoir, complete with buzzsaws and spikes.

The unnamed location 18 is clearly Moira’s No-Space.

#xmen #xmen meta #house of x #spoilers #hoxpox

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rosannastylist · 4 years ago

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Attitude is the Key

Earl Nightingale stated that our perspective on life determines our perspective on life. Attitudes are just our feelings, which enable us to make decisions. The attitude we adopt every day determines our future. It is the most important factor for a full and joyful life and should be adjusted continuously. Mudra means attitude, attitude, feelings, thoughts, thoughts etc. It is our own perspective for attitude Instagram captions, our own opinion, our thoughts that determine the outcome, not the others. In life, most of us do not usually understand this simple concept - it is not a situation dictating someone else's action or reaction or our attitude. This is entirely our personal decision. Over time, I discovered my own point of view and others that I share here. How we recognize such tendencies in ourselves and how we mold them into fruitful lives is my humble endeavor.

positive attitude

Keeping a positive attitude is the most difficult of all approaches. Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa says: The soul is like water, it always goes down, you have to try to lift it. Get a positive attitude, make a habit with continuous study. People with a negative attitude feel uneasy and irritable when told about the importance of a positive attitude. But a person with a positive attitude is usually a person who is happy, joyful and fulfilled. In my experience, there are gradual changes in our lives when we control our thoughts and words and adopt a positive outlook in one area of our life. It becomes easier when we seek God's intervention. I think that with God you can do all things comfortably, but without him it becomes too much or fruitless effort.

Grateful attitude

Jig Ziggler said that of all perspectives, gratitude is certainly the most important and the most transformative in life. We all complain, sometimes about the small things in life and sometimes about the big things. And complaints become a habit in us that we do not pay attention to what we are complaining about. On the Facebook link to the Ziegler office fee there was a video in front of the wall of Mr. Giants called the Wall of Thanks. It was very good, I thought. What a way to show your gratitude! In the video, Mr. Ziegler mentions that even people with bad lifespan attitudes, who helped change something in their lives, found a place on the wall. God seeks every day for his children who do not complain and is instead grateful to those who have. I once heard this from a speaker - God will not give you any more if you complain about what you have. And I felt that it is very important to thank God and be thankful for everything He has given, not every now and then, but every day. A grateful attitude is the safest way to progress for attitude captions for Instagram.

To be grateful, we can thank God at every opportunity and be thankful to those around us. We will change our simple approach for the better.

As I write this article, I have progressed in an area where I have held a positive outlook for a long time. Whenever I ask someone to make tea or do something for me, I will complain if it is not done completely. I will complain and be upset until the other person feels pity. One day, while I was sitting at my desk, I asked my husband to make tea. The tea I received was not hot. At first I was told to complain and get angry and leave the tea as usual, enjoying the evening tea. But this time I checked myself and decided to make a choice - this choice is not just to drink tea, but also to enjoy it because someone made a special effort to make it. So often God tests you just before your progress. And I felt that I had broken that attitude and glorified God.

Pride posture

Pride is spreading like an epidemic in our society. Pride is particularly evident in those who do not have to make an effort to get to where they are today, but inherited it from their family, who worked hard to make it. Pride is also shown by those who make money and protect it from false means. Pride can actually prevent us from being the best God for our lives. And pride appears regardless of business, whether it be the business owner, minister, politician or someone else's legacy. I have recently had experience with the successor of a very large ministry, which has offices all over the world. The preacher probably preaches on any subject, but I am proud to serve ministry staff and close family members in important positions in the ministry. God is very special in the matter of humility, which is contrary to pride. Feel proud not for material things, but for the love of God. We also need to remember that God's ways are unique - the easier he gives, the easier it makes him.

A certain attitude

Donald Walters stated that happiness is a mindset that arises from the simple determination to be happy under all circumstances. Have to be firm. There is no struggle for life that can prevent a determined person from reaching his goal. We all have a certain amount of money for something in life. But if we use determination in a positive way, we will reap the benefits in a great way. Sri Ramakrishna used to say that your relationship with God is the key to resolve. Sometimes circumstances make us negative towards life and we lose our enthusiasm. But for some, challenging situations become an important step towards a new and better life. The underlying difference between the two is judgment.

Having gone through an emotionally troubled childhood filled with fear and judgment, a physically and emotionally abusive first marriage that leads to grief and humiliation, I am determined to show everyone who told me that I am a Was out of The exact reason is a big objective here. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I knew it would happen one day. I then proved to God that they were wrong because my resolve to have a relationship with God helped to transform my vessel into the message of God. I decided to make love, I got it from God. I was determined to have that intelligence that kept me higher than the people who abused me. I received it from God. I wanted protection; I found it in the embrace of God. Even if you have nothing in the world, but you are determined, you still fulfill the call of God in your life. But even if you have anything other than determination, you cannot move forward in life. So use your determination positively to get results.

Disciplined in a relaxed posture

Discipline is the bridge between goals and achievement; We should all suffer from one or two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is that the weight of discipline is ounces, while the weight of regret is tons, croft m. Says Pantaj. Some people are active and others are resting, others are careless in every aspect of their lives. Some people are careless, worrying about their lives for their children. And the truth is that careless people prevent themselves from achieving God's superiority for their lives. In the Bible, God says hot or cold, or I take you out of my mouth. A careless person is gentle. A careless person is not disciplined to achieve anything in life.

A few years ago I injured my back and my spine narrowed. I was careless to show the doctor for whom I had to pay a high price. The doctor told me that my back was ten years older than my normal age due to a fall. I did not want to have surgery, but God told me that I would have to discipline myself and plan to exercise regularly to live a normal life. It was very difficult at first because every exercise I did affects my back. I prayed to God a lot and he sent me a yoga teacher through which I learned exercises suited to my physical condition. If you recognize this trend, take the younger one.

Netting currency

We may have the best of intentions at heart, but we can be flexible. Nagging may be a major reason for the break up of the relationship. Nagling does not give the other person room to breathe in the relationship. Under no circumstances can a heart be won by manipulating, only words of encouragement can win hearts. If at first we see mistakes rather than successes, it means that we have this tendency, even if we don't recognize it. I realized that when I was disciplining my daughter, I started having fights that did not help me or in any way. This made him irritable and stubborn. So I prayed to God and God spoke through my husband that I do not need to tell him the same thing again and again. I only had to tell her once and if she comes to me, encourage her to do what she was told. It worked!

I know every trend

To get the ultimate knowledge that comes only from God, we need to be hungry. People with a tendency to know everything can achieve and not grow. From this point of view I have identified two types of people. The first type are those who are often told that they are wrong, and they are fed up of hearing that they take an i-no-all attitude in defense. I was one of them until God healed my soul and showed me how to tell how many times I am wrong, but how often I am right because I am their offspring. The second type of people are those who have gained a lot of knowledge and recognition of the book on their own and can receive awards. Because of their big ego, they will not be open to learning from God himself. So God puts them to life to humiliate them, and it is painful to eat.

God chooses humble people, and people choose to learn from humble teachers.

Weird and admirable attitude

People with strange behavior are strange men who want to take care of everything but themselves. Being interested in what is going on in people's lives and homes, even if it is a mess in their own lives and homes, thrills some people. We judge ourselves by our objectives and the actions of others - I read it in a book called Monkey Business, and it is very true. Nobody really likes a weird person. It is good to help people until they become more curious about their private sector. Strange people are usually big rumors. And if we choose gossip, we pay a higher price for cheap thrills. The main purpose of the applause is to spread the word to anyone. If we clap, we only hurt ourselves because what we say gives us back in so many ways. If we want people to know to help them, then the motive is good. When we do it with the desire to clap, we only self-punish.

Personally, I am more comfortable with people with a fair attitude, whether they are educated or intellectual. The next time we choose our settings, we have to keep in mind what settings we take. If it brings peace and joy to our hearts, then you know that it will bring more fruits in your life. But if we don't kick it and find peace, let it be.

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pjstafford · 5 years ago

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You made us. Blog eight of Disability in the World of the X-Files Series Eve Discussion

I should probably begin with the fact that I love the episode Eve. It strikes all the scary, horror chords well. We have psychopathic, homicidal twins ten year girls committing patricide. We have cloning and a crazed lunatic plus two identical surburbia homes states away from each other. What is scarier than suburbia? We, also, have an introduction to the infertility/cloning dynamic which would pay such an important part in the series mythology; although it is unlikely that anybody involved with the X-Files would have realized that this early in only the 11th episode of the first season.

Reviewing this episode in a disability focused perspective presents challenges because some of the most disturbing facets of this episode in terms of the portrayal of disability are the things that make the episode one of the pure scariest episode in X-Files history. Perhaps, in a way, that is the point. Our fear of mental illness. and the history of how individuals with mental illness have been treated have such a tangled, twisted chain in our cultural consciousness that public policy and health care implications persist today. It is because of this that the images and stereotypes resonate and scare us so completely.

Where to begin then? I want to address the institutionalization of individuals with mental illness, eugenics, chromosome disorders and the complicated issues of guilt and shame “family” feel when mental illness exists and is inherited. It’s a lot to discuss, but in a disability focused review of The X-Files “Eve” deserves this attention.

Institutions-Viewers might remember that the agents went to a psychiatric facility in the pilot. They might think about other episodes where the agents visit treatment facilities. In Eve, the agents visit a institution for the criminally insane. The institution is a lock down prison type facility. It could not be more dehumanizing. The agents are given panic buttons. We hear the screams of inmates as they walk down the hall. Then, if that is not terrifying enough, they are given flashlights to enter the cell of a woman who apparently has an extreme case of light sensitivity. The woman is shackled and chain because, she discloses, she bit into the eyeball of a guard. She, then, makes biting gestures and noises which makes the viewer think of Hannibal Lecter. Wow, what happened to the love and caring this show demonstrated in the last episode for “delusional schizophrenic” Max Fenig.

“Eve” aired December 1993 which is a significant period in deinstitutionalization for persons with mental illness. (Please note the issues discussed in this section are specific to institutions for persons with mental illness not developmental or cognitive disabilities). Between 1977 - to the mid-late 90’s proponents of humane conditions for persons with mental illness argued for and mostly succeeded in closing down institutions for persons with mental illness in support of community mental health care. In 93, then, the country would have had significantly fewer people institutionalized than even five years earlier but there would have been heated debate about how far to go in these efforts. This show is meant to promote fear and it is not a clear cut case on which side of the debate they might have been. If the thought of walking into a facility like this fills you with dread, it should. We should all be aware of the history- in one facility in California one single doctor lobotomized 200 individuals, shock therapy, hydrotherapy were all “treatments”. However, closing of facilities without adequate community resources clearly was not the answer. It created scores of homeless individuals- individuals who were and continue to be dumped on the streets because they don’t have the resources or wherewithal to care for themselves. Ask yourself who could be more vulnerable to victimization than individuals with mental illness living on the streets. Today, the number one behavioral health provider in most municipalities in this country are the prisons. There are some prisons with behavioral or mental health care facilities. 26 years since this show aired the ramifications of shutting down institutions continue. Yet, people then and now are afraid to have persons with mental illness in the community. The Eve known as Sally Kendrick makes the argument that in a supportive environment and with medication people like her could lead productive, normal lives. It’s a sound argument if she had not experimented on ova then placed said ova into infertile women, kidnapped two young results of that experiment and held a gun to one threatening to shoot and telling Mulder that he knew she was capable. When the Eve in the institution says of the Eve known as Sally that “ I am her and she is me and we are all together” it can be seen as a chilling statement about mental healthcare in the US or about the mental instability of people living in the community who were previously institutionalized.

Eugenics- it is worth noting, however that the XFiles could argue they were not making a statement about mental illness because these were not simply individuals who were mentally ill. These were genetically altered individuals created as a race of super soldiers. This will be another theme throughout the series’ history. Given the importance of this to the show’s mythology and the fact that this is the first episode it plays a major role, it is worth providing a contextual backdrop of eugenics and the United States. I guess most of us think our role was to fight the Nazis becauss extermination camps was an extreme attempt to assure genetic purity. However, we forget that at the turn of the 20th century the eugenics movement was quite strong in the US and, for people with disabilities, this often meant forced sterilization and experimentation. Today Infertility clinics will often ask about and reject donors with a family history of mental illness and some people make abortion decisions strictly around testing to determine if the child might have disabilities (more usually, since you can’t screen for mental illness in fetuses, the screening is for diagnosis relating to chromosomal disorders).

Chromosomal disorders- the Eve’s have extra chromosomes which leads to heighten intelligence, heighten strength and heighten psychosis. They have a tendency to suicide and /or homicide. Chromosomal disorders might also cause Down Syndrome, Angelman Syndrome, Prader-Willie, and Williams syndrome. This show never references those conditions, but it is hard to hear conversations about chromosomal disorders and not think about individuals we know who have chromosomal differences.

The last topic area is the topic of family reaction when mental illness may be genetic and inherited. The reaction of the only living parent of the two girls is telling. She went from loving her daughter and calling her “special” to burning all her pictures and denying any association. Many individuals with mental illness are rejected by family. On the other hand the Eve’s felt some type of responsibility and need to care for the girls. I was struck by the scene where Sally Kendrick is pleading with the girls to remember they are human. However when she asks the girls why they killed their fathers and eventually why they poisoned her the girls response is “You should know. You made us.” I fear this is representative of how many parents feel when their children are diagnosed with mental illness. The stigma is so strong that mental illness is not seen as a disease but a character flaw. Parents are often ashame and blame themselves. This, incidentally, goes back to the eugenics movement discussion and the fact that there were many “scientific articles” at the turn of and the early 20th century arguing that bad genes were part of the problem.

At the beginning of this blog I said I liked this episode. I do. The X-Files was a horror show and under no obligation to create a politically correct, sterile world of perfection in how they portray issues around disability. Instead look at this blog as an analysis of our society as much of as the X-Files. This show had insane asylums for the criminal ill and a discussion of eugenics and those are topics laden with history of horrors. It also had people with mental illness in our community and a discussion of chromosomal differences. Why should the latter two things be equally scary? How does a parent fear of having a child with mental illness factor into why this episode is scary?

I u dertook this analysis of theis series because I thought it could make us think of ourselves and of our society through the lens of our entertainment. It is significant because we the viewers made this show a success.The production company 1013 catch phrase may be “ I made this”, but we the fans kept it on the air and asked for it to return for two more seasons decades after it had ended. It is worth looking critically at why the disability constructs in this episode scared us so deeply. We should ask why. As the little Eves would say “ You should know. You made us.”

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anastpaul · 6 years ago

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Lenten Preparation Novena – Day Eight – 4 March 2019 “Come Back to Me With all your Heart”

Lent 2019 will begin on Wednesday, 6 March The Holy Triduum is Thursday 18 April – Holy Saturday 20 April Easter Sunday 21 April 2019

Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for those who have wealth to enter the Kingdom of God!”

Mark 10:23

“How hard it is for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!”

“When Jesus says: “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” (Mt 5:3), He shows that the kingdom of heaven will be assigned to those who are recommended by the humility of their spirits rather than by the smallness of their means. Yet, it cannot be doubted, that this possession of humility, is more easily acquired by the poor than the rich, for the poverty of the former, inclines them more easily to generosity, while the others’ wealth inclines them rather to pride. Notwithstanding, even in many of the rich is found, a spirit which uses its abundance, not for the increasing of its superiority but on works of kindness and counts its greatest gain, to be what it expends, in relieving the hardship of others.

So it is given to every kind and condition of people, to share in this virtue, for one can be equal as regards one’s dispositions, without being so in respect of fortune. It does not matter how different they are in earthly means, there is no distance between those who are equal in spiritual possessions.

Blessed, therefore, is the poverty, that does not desire to increase its wealth here below but is eager to amass heavenly possessions.”

St Pope Leo the Great (400-461)

Father & Doctor of the Church

A Meditation for this ‘Prelude to Lent’

REFLECTION – “Easy circumstances are generally thought a special happiness; it is thought a great point to get rid of annoyance or discomfort of mind and body, it is thought allowable and suitable, to make use of all means available, for making life pleasant.”

“Such advice is especially suitable to an age like this, when there is an effort on all hands to multiply comforts and to get rid of the daily inconveniences and distresses of life. Alas! my brethren, how do you know, if you avail yourselves of the luxuries of this world without restraint but that you are only postponing and increasing by postponing, an inevitable chastisement? How do you know, but that, if you will not satisfy the debt of daily sin now, it will hereafter come upon you with interest? See whether this is not a thought, which would spoil that enjoyment, which even religious persons are apt to take in this world’s goods, if they would but admit it. It is said that we ought to enjoy this life as the gift of God. Easy circumstances are generally thought a special happiness, it is thought a great point, to get rid of annoyance, or discomfort, of mind and body, it is thought allowable and suitable, to make use of all means available, for making life pleasant. We desire and confess we desire, to make time pass agreeably and to live in the sunshine. All things harsh and austere are carefully put aside. We shrink from the rude lap of earth and the embrace of the elements and we build ourselves houses in which the flesh may enjoy its lust and the eye its pride. We aim at having all things at our will. Cold and hunger and hard lodging and ill usage and humble offices and mean appearance, are all considered serious evils.

And thus year follows year, tomorrow as today, till we think that this, our artificial life, is our natural state and must and ever will be.”

Blessed John Henry Newman (1801-1890)

“Only by accepting, with humble gratitude, the love of the Lord, do we free ourselves, from the seduction of idols and the blindness of our illusions. Money, pleasure, success dazzle but then disappoint, they promise life but procure death. The Lord asks us to detach ourselves from these false riches in order, to enter into true life, the full, authentic, luminous life.”

Pope Francis – Angelus, 11 October 2015

Lenten Preparation Novena DAY EIGHT

Loving Father, may I live this Lent as an unceasing act of love for You. Let me grow in understanding of the riches hidden in Christ. In my prayer, grant me a spirit to see what must be done and the strength to do what is right. Make me radiant in Your presence with the strength of my yearning for You. By my fasting, fortify my resolve to carry out Your loving commands. Bless me with an increase in devoutness of life so that I may be found steadfast in faith. Any by my almsgiving, renew and purify my heart so that I may hold to the things that eternally endure. Help me to repent of my sins now and make reparation throughout this Lenten season and each day thereafter. Teach me and help me Lord, my God, to relinquish the comforts of this world, to leave my house and follow only the Way of the Cross, to sell all, give to the poor and follow Your Son. And thus, united with Him, who makes His way to Calvary, I offer You my intentions ……………….. (Mention your special intention) Amen

(via Lenten Preparation Novena - Day One - 25 February 2019 "Come Back to Me With all your Heart")

#mypics #mypic #lentenprep #lentenprepnovena #stpopeloethegreat #bljohnhenrynewman #popefrancis #mark10:23 #catholic #catholicism #dayeightklentennovena

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londonescortt · 2 years ago

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London Escort

Client Etiquette

After you have scheduled your appointment with your provider, here are some tips and etiquette to help you before, during and after the appointment. If your provider has one, you should refer to it. You will often find her own set guidelines to make your interaction with her as pleasant as possible. This information is meant to be an addition to those guidelines or as a minimum expectation.

These are just guidelines. You might find things a little different if your country has prostitution legalized or not.

The Details

After your provider has completed her screening, she will contact you by phone or email to confirm the details of your appointment. The appointment time will be agreed upon, as well as other details like the location and how to get there. Some women might have a conversation with me, while others may not.

If she doesn't have a list of services for sex on her website, you should not mention it in your first contact with her. If she does, you can ask the basic questions without getting too personal. The purpose of providers is to offer companionship. Discussing sex for money is considered solicitation in the United States. Read her reviews to find out what type of experience you will have. If you are too porny, she will likely end all contact with you. Most providers will allow you to talk about your "interests" as long as they don't relate to sex. Would you be interested in talking about that?"

Conversations are best if you share a bit about yourself without being too graphic.

If she doesn't specifically state that she will negotiate, don't attempt to negotiate rates. This is the fastest way to make a provider leave. Some will even quit if you try to negotiate a lower rate. Your doctor won't negotiate your rates, so don’t expect your provider to.

Don't ask for more photos or photos of her face. She only shares the photos she has on her website with clients. We must keep our faces secret for our safety and security, as well as yours.

Dress

If she doesn't specify otherwise in her conversation with you or on her website, dress as if it was a first date. Many people believe business casual is fine. If you are unsure, ask. She will be glad to share her preferences. You will need to wear the appropriate attire if you are going to dinner with the orchestra, to the opera, or any other special event.

You will likely be asked what you would like her to wear. If she doesn't have a preference, tell her to dress in what is comfortable and/or sexy. You don't want her to dress up in a way that will attract attention or make you look "slutty". She may find it enjoyable to play that way with you in the future, but not if she isn't comfortable with you.

Hygiene

Professionals have a particular pet peeve about poor hygiene. It's amazing how many clients don’t wash their hands before they arrive. This is a date. Even though it's a professional one, it doesn't mean that we shouldn't make an effort to clean up after ourselves. Even if it's only a 15- or 30-minute session, you should at least clean your pubic area/genitals.

Before she arrives, take a shower, wash your hair, and brush your teeth. She may offer you access to a bathroom if she is going to an incall place. Ask her if the information on her website is not clear. If you have been working all day and come to her office to make an appointment, she will expect you to shower briefly. Most providers will have basic toiletries for you to use.

Fresh breath is important. Please don't eat onion or garlic right before I come. If I have an appointment, I will try to avoid anything with onion or garlic. Garlic is difficult to disguise so chewing tons of gum won't help.

Many providers won't see smokers or prefer that you don't smoke during sessions. Some don't care. Ask her if the website doesn't provide any details. Similar to garlic and onions, smokers' breath can be quite rancid to those who don't smoke. You can ask the provider if she doesn't smoke if her website doesn't say so. Smokers will often be willing to stop smoking for a few hours before coming to see you.

Your provider will likely just leave if you are high or intoxicated. It's a hassle to deal with someone who isn't fully in control of their faculties and can be dangerous for both you and them. You should avoid alcohol if you are expecting a provider. Light amounts of wine can be fine, but not excessively.

Upon Her Ankling (for an Outcall)

If she is coming to your office or hotel, give her information like where she can park, how to get in, and where to find the elevators. This will help you attract security to the hotel. Your floor number and room number are also important.

If she asks, have your identification on hand. Some do, others don't. Either a driver's license, or a passport will suffice. She might ask you to leave if you're unable or unwilling to confirm your identity.

You can expect a gentle kiss if she is a GFE. Do not try to kiss her as soon as she enters the room. She will likely be anxious to meet someone new and will take time to get to know you before getting intimate. Follow her example. You should follow her lead if she wishes to kiss you.

Offer her water, even if it's just water. Keep water on hand even if other drinks are being offered. Keep the bottles sealed. I would never drink from a bottle you gave me that was opened. I don't know what it contains. While you may not be the type of person to try and drug a provider, others will. Hydration is essential if you are going to be physically active - it can lead to dehydration.

Upon your Arrival (for an Incall)

Please be punctual if you are seeing a provider in an incall location, whether it's a public or private place. If she is late, please notify her. You should be aware that providers may need to cancel your appointment if you arrive late. She may also have clients who are waiting for you. You are responsible for being on time. You shouldn't be late, either. As your life has shown you, women need to prepare themselves properly before they see you.

Don't go looking for her stuff when she's gone. Although it may sound strange for me to say this, clients often go searching the room for providers when they need to use the bathroom. Act like you're a guest at someone's house.

Donation/Payment

The appointment includes the business transaction. Most providers are very particular about how they want it handled. Follow her instructions. Many will request that it be left in plain view on a table with an unsealed envelope. It is a great way to impress your provider by enclosing it in a card. If she doesn't give you specific instructions, you can ask her how you want it handled. This can be done either over the phone or by e-mail.

Talk about money during your appointment, unless you are going to ask for an extension of her time. At that point, there will be discussion about compensation.

Your Companion

Your companion is a human being with feelings, emotions, desires and a life beyond providing professional services to clients. You should respect her and treat her the way you would expect. You are not allowed to treat her as dirt or non-human.

Respect her boundaries. Discuss her boundaries and menu with her before you meet. Safewords are a great idea for professional and private sexual encounters.

You should not bring up certain topics. For example, don't ask her about her other clients. Don't ask about her private life, boyfriends/girlfriends, real name, what her family thinks about her work, etc. Talk about sports, your job, the city, politics or any other topic that comes to mind. If she has revealed any personal information (such as her favorite things, school attended, etc.) on her website, it is a red flag. These are also good topics to look into.

Comfortable

After you have had a chance to get to know each other for a while, it's likely that you will want to move on to the next thing. You can either take the lead. If you are at her place, she will usually let you know that it is time to get comfy. This is your signal that it's time for you to change. If she comes to you, it's a sign that she is ready to play. It's a good idea to approach her and start kissing.

Let her know if you have never seen an escort before. This will allow her to know that she may need to guide your through some things. Everybody has their first time. Many of us love providing that experience to a new client. Your provider will make every effort to make you feel as relaxed as possible.

For penetrative sex, condoms are required almost everywhere. However, some providers will perform bareback blowjobs. An assortment of condom sizes will be available for the escort, as well as lube and possibly a few toys. To be safe, it is always a good idea if you have some condoms on hand.

Tipping, Gifts, etc.

Tipping is not required for any service profession. If you feel that the service provided by your provider is worthy of a gratuity, then please do so. While cash is preferable, providers appreciate gift cards to almost any location.

You should be aware that an agency girl will take a percentage of your money. Some agencies may take up to half of what you give them. A tip to make up the difference for her having to pay you money is always appreciated, especially if you had a great session.

A gift is always appreciated by providers. Many escorts have a section on their website that offers suggestions for gifts. Many prefer that you donate to a charity or non-profit organization rather than giving them a gift. A small gift box with candies or roses (without nuts, as some people are allergic to them) is always appreciated by your provider. You shouldn't bring a large bouquet of roses to your provider's incall. You'll draw unwanted attention to it. It will also attract unwanted attention if she must carry a large vase and flower spray outside of the hotel. Both you and her depend on discretion in the encounter so you need to avoid drawing too much attention to them, even after they've left.

Agency vs. Independent

Independents and agency providers have some important differences. An agency can often send an escort to you immediately. They are always available to help you at any time, even if they aren't working.

Independents prefer to have at least 48 hours notice so they can prepare. After all the preparations are completed, you can relax and enjoy the appointment. Talk to your provider about your expectations. Then, relax and let your provider make your morning, afternoon or evening memorable.

Clients will occasionally ask if they can take photos or record the encounter. Some providers will let you do this and will often state it on her website. The vast majority of providers won't allow it (and they could be exposed as working girls, to their disadvantage). Although you are welcome to ask, expect a firm no. Surreptitiously recording another person is considered a crime in most places.

Your provider will probably want to have something to eat if you book an appointment for a longer time (four hours or more). If you are in a hotel, this generally means that your provider will want to eat somewhere else. Sometimes it can be a little claustrophobic to stay in a small space for so long. If you are staying in a hotel, many providers will require that you have a separate bedroom for overnight appointments. These appointments can last between 8-12 hours and include multi-day appointments. These are important points to consider when planning.

Babes of London

After you have made an appointment

It is a smart idea to send an e-mail to your provider or her agency and tell her how much you enjoyed your time together. It's a great way to keep in touch with your provider (or her agency) and let them know you enjoyed your time together.

You can cancel your appointment if the service did not meet your expectations. You don't need to send an email explaining why, or giving her a list if she did things you don't like. We are all adults. You have to accept that things don't always turn out as planned. If your daughter works for an agency, you can e-mail the agency or call them to let them know.

Sometimes, it may be a good idea to book her again. This could be due to a lack of chemistry or discomfort with what you did. She may not return calls or e-mails if she does not wish to schedule another appointment. We're all adults and she must structure her business, her appointments, so that it is profitable for her business. Accept that she doesn’t want to see you, and move on with your life.

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