#and how it relates to its monstrosity rather than looking at it in a synonymous way | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aliusfrater · 29 days ago

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i wanted to explain myself to myself in an understandable way. i gave shape to my fears and made excuses. i varied my velocities, watched myselves sleep. something's not right about what i'm doing but i'm still doing it — living in the worst parts, ruining myself.

richard siken, war of the foxes

#this is less about his monstrosity and more about his pursuit of control. which are definitely conflated yes #but i think of his perceivable monstrosity as 1) not really being specifically about what he was doing #and 2) so invariable to his being that it was logical that it would be used within his attempt at independence #this is about his attempt to get there. it's about his addiction and his and ruby's relationship. the fact that he knows he's been raped #and how it relates to its monstrosity rather than looking at it in a synonymous way #am i making sense #anyway i want to get back into making these again #sam winchester #4.21 #reddo #ww.png

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