#and honestly the pets probably count as cohorts

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer In The Dark -- The Three Pillars' Menagerie

Yes indeed -- I've talked a lot about the human members of the group, now it's time to discuss the nonhuman ones! Because, as it turns out, the Three Pillars are going to actually end up with a fair number of pets over the course of their adventures:

Sooty -- the very first "pet" the trio ever get, Sooty technically predates Victor, Alice, and Smiler becoming the Three Pillars, as he shows up before they become an official crew. His first appearance is in the upcoming second VITD story, "A Murder Shared Is A Murder Thirded" -- well, his first solo appearance, at any rate. For you see, Sooty is one of the ravens in Elder Gutknecht's tower -- a recently-fledged youngster with a few lingering baby feathers near the tops of his wings. When the trio temporarily moved in after the whole Barkis incident, Sooty was very curious to see what was going on with these new strange solid people living in his house. His curiosity was rewarded with food, so he decided that whoever they were, they were nice. So when they headed off to snatch Bumby's ledger (and hopefully kill the guy), he flew after them to see where they were going and if it involved more food --

And when Bumby confronted the trio after discovering the theft of his ledger, intending to stop them by any means possible before they could escape and expose his evil, Sooty realized that this other weird solid person meant the three nice people who fed him harm -- and promptly swooped in to harass him. Giving Alice the perfect opportunity to grab her sister's room key off Bumby's watch and shove an armed electroplasm bomb into his pants. Sooty ended up hitching a ride on Smiler's shoulder when they fled the scene, and Smiler ended up using Sooty as a messenger to let Elder Gutknecht know what had happened and where they'd gone after the trio ran into their parents, Matt and Carol, and were invited to spend the Names (night) at the Ministry of Joy. Sooty performed this job admirably, and thus became the Representative Of The Tower Ravens for the trio when they officially moved in. Sooty is closest to Smiler, who was the first to feed and pet him, but he likes all three of the trio and will often hang out with them as they do various tasks. You know that anonymous raven that so often popped up in the various Valicer In The Dark-themed Not Incorrect Quote collections? Yeah, I'm picturing that as Sooty now. :) He's their bud! And, if you believe the second set of quotes, toilet trained. XD (Also, I should thank @thesatiricaldemon for giving me the idea of Sooty showing up to harass Bumby at the climax by mentioning how bad an idea it is to piss off a corvid in his comment on the last chapter of "Start At The Beginning...Sort Of" -- Bumby may not have made enemies with the whole flock, but he definitely made one of that one particular raven!)

Guide -- if you've read my Forgotten Vows series, you'll recognize this as my name for the white cat Alice keeps seeing periodically during Alice: Madness Returns (the one who appears most prominently in Chapter One of the game, where chasing after it leads Alice to the spot where she meets Witless -- it also appears briefly at the beginnings of Chapter Two (on the docks) and Chapter Four (at the door of the police station) ). While Guide had a decent life as a semi-feral stray who hung out in Dr. Fixxler's shop from time to time in the Forgotten Vows Verse, I thought it would be nice if, in this universe, Alice could officially adopt the cat. And after a little bit of thought, I realized that I already had the perfect score in which this could happen -- the Alice: Asylum-based "taking out Radcliffe and rescuing his daughter Angela" score! My idea is, after the trio makes the decision to try and shake down Radcliffe for Alice's inheritance, the white cat shows up while they're on their way to his house. Alice recognizes her (as I've decided the cat is female) and says, "I appreciate it, but I really don't need you to show me where I'm going this time" --

And then they come across the clearly-abandoned house and she's like, "...okay, maybe I do." XD And indeed, after discovering Radcliffe's plans for his daughter and where he's likely to be, the cat helps lead them to the meeting place at the docks (annoying Rabbit a bit, as he's trying to do the same thing), and maybe, like Sooty, even helps in taking him down (perhaps biting or clawing him at a key moment?). And then, once everything is sorted and Angela is safely settled in Houndsditch, Alice spots the cat following them again as she, Victor, and Smiler are heading home...

And when she sees Alice looking at her, the cat pads up to her and starts rubbing against her leg, purring. Alice is like "well, I let Angela have my old rabbit toy, so I do need a new furry white creature in my life," picks her up, and takes her home, naming her Guide because, well, that's what she seems to do. There's a little initial tension between Guide and Sooty and the other ravens, but after it's made clear to Guide that these birds are not flying snacks, they get along reasonably well. Guide is naturally closest to Alice, often chilling with her as she reads or draws, but will of course accept pets and food from both Victor and Smiler as well.

Dogmeat -- yes, that Dogmeat. The German Shepherd from Fallout 4, to be precise, since that's the game I'm actually playing. I told you all in the above-linked post that I wanted to adapt some FO4 quests for my VITD universe -- and if I'm bringing in Nick Valentine, Piper Wright, and Preston Garvey, why wouldn't I also include everyone's favorite doggo companion? Especially since one of the quests I'm adapting is "When Freedom Calls" (the one where you meet Preston and help him defend the Museum of Freedom from raiders), which:

A) I imagine most people do with Dogmeat at their side, given the quest location is literally just down the road from the Red Rocket where you meet and adopt the dog

B) I've always headcanoned as a quest you should do with Dogmeat, as -- thanks to Mama Murphy being the one to tell you his name and acting at least somewhat familiar with the pooch -- I've always pictured Dogmeat as having traveled with Preston and the survivors for a bit before they all got pinned down in the museum, and that Preston actually sent the dog out to try and find help during a quiet moment -- hence why Dogmeat was at the Red Rocket in the first place!

So yeah, it only makes sense that Dogmeat would be a part of the VITD version of the quest! I'm still pinning down how the quest should go in this reality, but here's my off-the-cuff rough draft so far --

I. The Three Pillars are walking around Six Towers one day, maybe talking about plans for their next heist or something, when they encounter Dogmeat hanging around an abandoned building (perhaps whatever the equivalent of a gas station is in this world? The rich DO have electroplasmic carriages that work a bit like cars, and might need places to renew their fuel supply for the engines...). Victor of course promptly takes a shine to the dog, and the dog to him. After a bit of getting-to-know-you time, the dog indicates that he wants the trio to follow him -- curious, they do --

II. And come across the wreckage of an old museum, with a man on the balcony, being menaced by a gang of toughs. A gang that promptly turns on the Three Pillars once their presence is known. Fortunately, the trio and the dog manage to defeat them and drive them off for a bit, and the man on the balcony asks them to come in -- they do, and find him locked in an upstairs room, along with four other people, looking rather worse for wear. The man introduces himself as "Preston Garvey, of the Coalridge Dust Street -- just Preston," and the others as Mama Murphy, Jun and Marcy Long, and Sturges. They fill in the Three Pillars on what their deal is -- basically, they're the survivors of a recent massacre on Quincy Street in Coalridge, after a rich factory owner decided to make an example out of striking workers by sending mercenaries (a Hound group called The Gunners) to rough up their loved ones. Things quickly got out of hand, though, and a lot of people ended up dying because the Gunners were a little too enthusiastic about their job. Preston was part of the Bluecoat squad that was sent to try and calm things down, and for a minute it looked like they might actually succeed...

Only for one of his own squadmates, Clint, to reveal he'd decided to switch sides and join the Gunners, leading to him helping them gun down his own squad. Preston was the only survivor thanks to managing to wound Clint and flee before he could kill him, but he couldn't stand up to the Gunners all on his own. So, determined to save someone in this mess, he found these four, put them under his protection, and then booked it out of there. Unfortunately, Mama Murphy had a reputation in the neighborhood for being a little psychic, especially if she's high. A reputation that Jared, former resident and leader of the "Corvega Raiders" (a gang of former workers from the Corvega Electroplasmic Carriages Company) knew well, thanks to her predicting he'd become a feared gang leader when he was a child. He decided upon getting control of the Corvega Raiders that he wanted her and her insights for himself -- so almost the minute the group got free of the Gunners, they found themselves harassed by Raiders sent to kidnap her. The group managed to evade them long enough to get to Six Towers and barricade themselves in this museum, and -- well, it's been a stand-off ever since. And while Preston was very impressed with the Three Pillars' work in helping drive off the Raiders, he's pretty sure the gang is not gone for good. The trio, feeling very sorry for these people, offer to help try and defeat the Corvega Raiders once and for all and get the refugees to safety. Preston is quite thankful, and they start discussing offense and defense options.

III. During these talks, Victor ends up chatting with Mama Murphy, who tells him that she's glad Dogmeat found them. Victor's like "oh, he's your dog?" and she explains that he isn't, not really -- Dogmeat has been traveling with them for a bit, and Preston did send the dog to find help when they got trapped in the museum, but he's not anyone in the group's pet. He's just a dog that showed up and started traveling with them (the "Dogmeat" name was a joke by Marcy that stuck). Mama's of the opinion that Dogmeat came along just to help get them out of this mess, and now that he's done that, he'll probably stay with Victor and his companions, since he seems to have bonded to him. She also warns Victor that she's had a vision of something bad showing up during the next fight -- she can't describe it well, but she knows it's big and angry. Victor, concerned, says he's going up on the roof to watch for trouble then, and does that while Alice and Smiler help Preston come up with more ways to repel potential invaders (Smiler probably working up some handy-dandy knockout bombs with the help of Sturges)...

IV. And then -- as the Corvega Raiders show up for a second round and starts falling afoul of the bombs and whatnot -- Victor suddenly feels the big and angry thing himself, coming towards their location rapidly. A big and angry thing that he's able to identify as a Horror that's somehow managed to get into the sewer system. He runs downstairs and warns the others --

Just in time for the Duskwallian equivalent of a Deathclaw (a Glowing Deathclaw, no less) to rip its way through a manhole and emerge onto the streets. It makes short work of the gang outside, but now the trick becomes keeping it out of the museum so it doesn't make short work of everyone inside! The Three Pillars are successful in this (either killing it, as in the original quest, or at least keeping it out long enough for the Spirit Wardens to show up and kill it), and Preston thanks them profusely for their help. He says he hopes to get the refugees settled here in Six Towers (Smiler promptly recommends the Advocate bunkhouse by the Arms Of The Weeping Lady soup kitchen, natch), and then start up his own group to help take down his traitor squadmate and maybe do something about the crime in the city. The Three Pillars wish him the best with that, and after seeing the group safely to said bunkhouse, start heading home...

V. And sure enough, Dogmeat tags along after them, tail wagging. Victor is like "well, I hope you get along with cats and birds," and the dog joins the group at their headquarters. :) Once again, there's some early tension between Dogmeat, Guide, and Sooty (Guide is naturally suspicious of the big dog, while Dogmeat doesn't particularly like Sooty always trying to steal his food), but with a firm hand from the human trio, it's all sorted out. And much like Smiler is Sooty's favorite, and Alice Guide's, Victor is Dogmeat's favorite, with the dog generally going to him first for affection and playtime. Like, he'll take a belly rub from everyone, but Victor gives the best ones, in his opinion. :p

Dougie -- okay, this is an interesting one. Back when I was first creating the Valicer In The Dark verse, one of my very first story ideas involved the trio quite accidentally getting a new pet on a job. Specifically, it involved Victoria -- annoyed at her parents for being all smug about this new fancy silver egg retrieved from the Deathlands that they bought at a very high price, as if it wasn't her husband's money that paid for the damn thing -- hiring the Three Pillars to humiliate them by stealing it. Victor, Alice, and Smiler, upon being informed of the situation, are only too happy to cause problems for the Everglots (they have not forgotten the whole "Barkis" thing, and neither has Victoria), and successfully steal the egg, intending to sell it as soon as possible --

But. At some point during their escape (I haven't decided when yet -- it will probably be the consequence of a bad dice roll), Victor, who has the egg hidden in his coat, hears a crack! And when he goes to investigate, worried they damaged the egg --

He discovers that the egg was in fact a real egg. That just hatched a tiny baby dragon. A tiny baby dragon --

That just so happens to be based on my own beloved plush dragon Dougie! :D You know the one -- they show up sometimes in the posts I make for my Victor Plush and Alice Dolly's birthdays. The long silver dragon with the copper-colored head crest, "ear" fins, claws, and underwings. You can get a good look at them in this old photoset from shortly after I got them. They're called "Dougie" because they're a Douglas Toys product, and I'm not very creative with names. XD I love them very much and wanted to involve them somehow in this verse, and this seemed like the best way to do it.

Anyway -- as you might imagine, everyone is very "?!?!" about this development when Victor shows Alice and Smiler what's happened. Fortunately, they still manage to get themselves and their new surprise pet out of the house safely, and then head straight home to raid Elder Gutknecht's library because what the fuck. XD They eventually learn that Dougie is in fact a "lap dragon" -- a type of dragon specifically bred to lie in people's laps and keep them warm. Admittedly, these dragons were supposed to have died out along with a bunch of other stuff eight-and-a-half centuries ago when the sun got exploded, but (as per Elder Gutknecht's theorizing) either those eggs can last for ages and only hatch in ideal conditions, or some survived and are now breeding wild out in the Deathlands, unbeknownst to everyone else. *shrug* At any rate, the book tells them that Dougie's not going to get very big (my toy is sixteen inches long, so about that size) -- and more importantly, they're also not going to be able to breathe fire. All of his warmth stays inside them so they can do their job. This latter trait means that Alice doesn't have any objections to keeping them (especially since she can see that Smiler and especially Victor have already fallen in love with the creature), and so Dougie joins the pet group! There is a lot of "???" from the other pets about this strange creature, but they soon get used to them -- in fact, when it becomes very clear that Dougie is a good source of warmth, Guide and Dogmeat in particular like to cuddle up to the little guy. Though, naturally, Dougie's favorite place is on Victor's lap. :) What can they say -- they love their "mama!" And he loves them. :)

Us -- and finally, we come to the one that I feel the weirdest about calling a "pet" because, well -- this is our favorite intellect devourer friend from Baldur's Gate III, acquired by the gang in that score I talked about previously that's a rough adaptation of the opening tutorial dungeon on the crashing Nautiloid (the one that features themselves having to drop themselves into the ocean on a lifeboat before they're torn apart by air demons attacking a crashing airship). And while Us may be very new to the world, and a weird brain-with-legs-and-tentacles creature, they are fully sapient! I guess they count in a technical sense because they disguise themselves as a cute little kitty cat so only Victor, Alice, Smiler, and anyone they choose to let in on the secret (like Smiler's parents and Elder Gutknecht) can see them as what they are, but... *waggles hand* Still a little weird to me. They are a beloved member of the family, though -- even if the teething problems in introducing them to Sooty, Guide, Dogmeat, and Dougie are worse than usual because the animals' reactions to Us are a combination of "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CREEPY THING" and "hang on it smells like food." Fortunately Us is quite capable of defending themselves, and a few tentacle smacks on the nose and perhaps a minor psychic blast or two teaches the animals that they are NOT to be nibbled on. I don't know how comfortable they ever get with the intellect devourer, but it does kind of amuse me to imagine them all in a big cuddle pile one cold winter's night, so...I guess comfortable enough? XD Smiler certainly loves them a lot, though -- they bonded with the creature the minute they pulled them out of that poor dead guy's skull, and the feeling is very mutual. Victor and Alice -- well, they need a minute, but they rapidly warm up to them. Helps that Us is so cute -- and, in Victor's case, can eat his fear and anxiety about stuff!

Whew -- quite the collection, huh? Even I didn't expect them to get this many pets...good thing that they live in a reasonably-spacious house and all love animals! And that these animals are all capable of taking care of themselves when the crew is out on a job. XD And damn it, now I want to do some sort of story with the pets all teaming up to find the Three Pillars when they don't come home one day and Us suspects they're in trouble...

[bigtreefest]

I dare you to write a piece using a character that you want to, but have never had a chance to write for before. With the sentence "Well that was a surprise."

Saint or Sinner?

College! Lloyd Hansen x Reader

Word Count: 1,331

A/N: Amber!!! Thank you for tickling my brain with this dare! I honestly wanted to do Andy so badly, but this quote was screaming Lloyd to me and I couldn’t resist. To be completely honest, I had no intention of writing him, but my fingers tip-tapped away and I lost all control. I might’ve been possessed.

I also always plan on writing a Drabble, and then it ends up being as long as one of my fic chapters, but anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Smut (oral, m receiving), use of pet names, sociopathic tendencies, mean Lloyd, a twist?

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Ever since you were old enough date, you’ve been happily independent. You grew up in a small town, surrounded by blue collar families, including most of the members of your own.

You’d always had a keen ability to fit in anywhere, which you attribute to your upbringing. Your mom worked a corporate job, while your dad spent all day in a mechanic shop.

You were well off, but not raised like it, and you’d never judge those who had less than you, even though that’s what a lot of people expected.

Once you graduated high school, you got into Harvard where you met Lloyd. Lloyd was someone who was good at keeping his distance. You noticed it at first when you invited him to join a study group you had started with some other members of your cohort.

You received a terse “No thanks, Pumpkin,” punctuated with a curt nod and a wink, before he went to hang out with his other friends and his team.

You had made multiple attempts to include him in group activities, or engage in conversation when you could nab a seat next to him in class, but after some time, you stopped seeing him altogether. You could tell he was avoiding you and the study group you had become closer with. You’d probably actually call them your friends, becoming just as close as you were to some people back home. They picked up on the same things too, seeing that you were humble, and carried yourself in such a proper manner, earning you the nickname “the Saint.”

When word of that got around to Lloyd, he rolled his eyes. You were the complete opposite of him. Kind, welcoming, calculated, while he was cold, unpredictable, sociopathic. He couldn’t stand how successful you were, too. Professors and students alike constantly praised you, more than willing to help you in any way through your academic journey and career beyond. Where he schmoozed, you gracefully existed and got just as far.

You were perfect in everyone’s eyes, including his own, which is what infuriated him. There had to be a weak spot, somewhere where your surface would crack, and he had initially tried to find it by turning you down all those times, but it was unsuccessful.

None of the manipulation tactics he had worked so hard on perfecting for so long made you budge, either. He’d pluck out a random friend from your group to join his. Nothing. He’d sabotage your flash drive for your presentation, you’d have a backup in your email, ready to go. After you’d gone, you wished him luck and no technical difficulties like you had, with a giggle! He was enraged.

After being at the top of your class, the two of you were selected to go to a conference in DC. It was hardly supervised by your professor who had booked two rooms for you next to each other, getting himself a suite a few floors above.

You knocked on Lloyd’s door in the late afternoon, the day before your presentation. He opened it just enough to peek his head through.

“What do you want?”

You sighed with your signature smile on your face. “Did you want to go over everything one more time before dinner?”

He looked you up and down, face as stern as it ever was when he was dealing with you. “Not really, Sunshine.” He slammed the door in your face.

What Lloyd didn’t know was that all his little tactics were really chipping away at you. All you wanted was to spend time with him, to get close. You couldn’t help it. You’d be lying if you said it was in your usual friendship way, too.

No, you wanted more. There was something about how aloof he was that drew you in. You were obsessed and not willing to give up until you got what you wanted, what you deserved.

His little tendencies weren’t upsetting because he was rude, they were upsetting because they were keeping you away from what your body and the deep, dark recesses of your mind were screaming for.

The door slamming in your face was the last straw. Lloyd wouldn’t get away with this any longer. You could see what he was trying to do, and if you had any say, you’d make sure it failed. You were going to be the winner of the little mind game he was playing.

To be honest, by this point, Lloyd had given up, thinking you’d never break. You were just too sweet, a true Saint. Treating you like this had just become habit, which is why he was almost confused when he heard muttering on the other side of his door.

You had taken the magnetic clip out of your hair and maneuvered it against the hotel key card reader until it unlocked. The door flew open and your eyes landed on Lloyd, stomping towards him and pinning him with his back against the nearest wall.

He looked down at you, face unreadable beside his eyes being slightly wider than usual.

“Why are you being like this!? What did I do!?” You gritted out, your tone threatening.

Lloyd didn’t say anything, only the corner of his mouth twitched upwards.

“Tell. Me.” You slammed your hands against the wall, arms framing his head as you looked up into his eyes, your stomach pressed against his cock that was growing rock hard.

“Am I going to have to pull it out of you? Suck it out of you, myself?” Lloyd found himself at a loss for words for once. All he could do was part his lips slightly and give a small nod like he always did.

You began to unbuckle the belt of his ridiculously expensive pants, shoving them down just enough that you could see the hard-on pressing against his boxer briefs.

“Huh? Is that what you want? That what you need, Pumpkin?” You spat back at him, mocking his previous words.

His brain was finally beginning to catch up with the situation as he nodded down to you and you got on your knees.

“Yeah, do it. I know you want to. Suck me off.”

You didn’t need much more prompting, fueled by rage and control. You pulled down his underwear, his dick springing free.

You gave him no time to prepare, immediately licking from the base of his length to the tip before fully taking him into your mouth. Your mouth was stretching to accommodate his girth, but it was nothing for you in the lust of the moment. You set a vigorous pace, Lloyd’s head thrown back against the wall as he moaned loudly.

He pulled his head forward as his abs tensed, already close with the debauchery of the situation. He tangled his ringed fingers in your hair, helping to guide you along his length.

“That’s it. Keep going. Not such a Saint, are you?”

You hummed against his length in response, saliva dripping down your chin and his balls that you were lightly tugging in you hand. The other hand had its nails dug into his thigh, causing a slight sting that heightened the pleasure for Lloyd.

Before he knew it, he was coming down your throat. You pulled away as you swallowed his salty release, looking up at him and wiping off your face before standing up.

You caught his gaze again and Lloyd looked at you with bewilderment mixed with his post-orgasmic haze.

“Well that was a surprise.” He said between heavy breaths, pulling up his underwear and pants, buckling his belt again. Oh, he had no idea the tactics you had in store for him.

Your hands pressed against his abs in his knitted shirt. One stayed there as the other traced up his firm pec, past his collar and found purchase around his neck, lightly squeezing.

“So are you finally going to tell me what’s going on in the head behind that ridiculous mustache?”

Bonus A/N: Um… I don’t really know what happened. I think I blacked out.

[aseioh]

Of Cakes and Late Celebrations

Author’s Notes: This was supposed to be posted on Mother's day. But just like this fic, I got derailed and ended up being late. (picture taken from the internet)

It was Mother's day.

Or to be precise it will be Mother's day in 15 hours 25 minutes. It shouldn't be a problem for Alcina, she usually just buys something from the Duke to give to Mother Miranda.

Unfortunately, such a thing is not possible right now. The Duke was delayed with his routine arrival at the castle opening, something about a spooked horse and lycans trying to get a nibble.

Honestly she lost interest after the word delayed was spoken through the phone. How is she going to remedy this. The gift itself was one of the finest silk she was able to obtain, she was sure Mother would appreciate a new ritual robe.

This is bad. To show up without a gift on this special day. She was sure she would be made a mockery during the gathering. Whats worst was that fool Heisenberg would be the first to lead with his pathetic insults.

Just the thought made Alcina's blood boil.

”I should send Bela to switch that man's shampoo with dog shampoo. Although the man still smells like wet dog. No. I'll think of something more devious.“

But back to the matter at hand. It's almost Mother's day and she doesn’t have a gift. Taking a deep drag off her cigarette, she considers her dwindling options.

At western part of the village

Donna is also facing a similar problems.

"What do you mean you're not coming?! Where am I supposed to find a present at this hour?!" Angie's raspy voice filtered through the phone "do you know how hard it is to find a 1st edition book on occult and rituals."

"Apologies Miss Angie, but the horse spooked and the carriage suffered a broken wheel. Even if the servants manage to haul themselves your house to the Duke's location and back it would still be too late." The main servant said trying to sound as apologetic as he can come across.

"This would not do" Donna said finally in her normal voice.

Somewhere inside the Stronghold.

Karl Heisenberg was having a meltdown.

"YOU STUPID LYCANS! I GAVE YOU ONE JOB AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN DO IT RIGHT!!" Heisenberg paces around the small assembly hall. Ten Lycans looked very apologetic, although it was very hard to tell from their looks. One even lets out a soft whimper.

“I told you to stall The Duke for a while. I didn’t said to derail him completely. The man has a package for me, now how am I supposed to get it!?” Heisenberg seethes.

His plan was a simply one really. Stall The Duke so that he would arrive at Castle Dimitrescu late, that way Alcina would not get her package and present it to Mother Miranda. That would show her, a little payback for calling him a child.

What he didn’t count on was the utter incapability of the Lycans to follow simple directions. Now even he doesn’t have a gift. Oh Miranda’s gonna blow a gasket.

“Augh... I hate the consequences of my actions” He lamented

 At Moreau’s Reservoir

“NOOOOOOO!! That’s not fair, that’s not fair!!!” Moreau starts throwing his stuff on the floor. He had finally saved up his money to buy Mother Miranda that nice jewelry that would go perfectly with her black wings.

“Someone’s gonna pay” He vows to take revenge on the Lycans responsible for his problem.

 After all his pet fish has been hungry for some Lycan meat.

 Castle Dimitrescu (13 hours until Mother’s day)

“I have gathered you here today for a very important meeting” Alcina starts looking at the sad (Donna) and tearful (Moreau) faces of her so called ‘siblings’. Heisenberg is surprisingly calm which puts Alcina on high alert, but lets it slide in favour of the more pressing matter

“We have a big problem. The Duke will not arrive on time for Mother’s Day. That means all the presents we bought for Mother will not arrive”

“We need a solution, any ideas?”  

“We kill the Lycans responsible and feed them to my fish”

“Yes Moreau, but that’s after we solve this problem” Donna said and tries to placate a Moreau by patting him at the back.

“Whoa, that’s a bit dark but I like it. And Moreau is right, we’re gonna make fish food out of those Lycans” “Better off those basdards, after all I don’t want to implicate myself” Heisenberg thinks

“People, you’re missing the point here” Alcina says pinching her nose to ward off an incoming headache. “Listen, we don’t have time. You know Mother Miranda, She’ll say she wasn’t really expecting something and then low-key punishes us for missing the day. We don’t want a repeat of the 1967 incident do we?”

Moreau whimpers from the trauma.

Donna goes into a slight trance and starts to shake.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough” Heisenberg stands. “Why don’t we just bake something and say it’s from all of us”

 *beat*

“Do you know how to bake?”

“I work at the Factory, I make steel molds for a living how hard could it be?”

“That doesn’t answer my question Heisenberg”

“We could make a small doll” Donna pipes up

“Sorry Donna that would still take time. And I don’t think we have the right materials on such short notice.” Alcina says

“For someone who’s looking for a solution you sure are shooting down all of them”

“Because it’s not feasible Heisenberg.” Alcina huffs “Can you gather all the materials in less than 10 hours? No? Of course not”

“And I keep telling you just BAKE A CAKE!”

“I don’t know how to bake, child! I’m a BLOODY COUNTESS not hired help” Alcina bellows at Heisenberg

“I know how to bake”

Everyone turns to Donna.

“Really?”

“Of course, I used to watch my Mother bake cakes before the accident. I just need help decorating. I never got a hang of that part” Donna beams with pride as she explains the basics of baking

“And we can gather the ingredients no problem. You have a pantry here somewhere right Alcina?” Moreau asked

“Of course. We always have a full pantry for the servants.” At that Heisenberg looks at Alcina with a hint of disbelief

“What? We need them healthy to serve us. I’m not a complete monster.” Alcina defends

“In any case we should start early. It takes time to cool and decorating is hard”

 Castle Kitchen (12 hours 30 minutes before Mother’s Day)

It was truly a sight to see. In a way it was enough for the Castle’s servants to wet themselves in fear when they saw the 4 Lords gathered at the kitchen in various forms of concentration. Needless to say, everyone was warned to steer clear of the kitchen for now.

Moreau was together with Donna supporting her with mixing the wet ingredients. Meanwhile, at the other side of the cooking station Alcina and Heisenberg are charge of measuring out the dry ingredients.

“You need to be precise, don’t put too much. Remember what Donna said and look at the damn recipe”

“I know what I’m doing you damn woman. I’m all about precision. Why don’t you move away and get that mixing bowl at the top shelf.” Heisenberg grouched

“I’m not your servant. And I certainly will not start fetching stuff for you” Alcina shot back

“Alcina, we need to work together. We don’t have time and you’re the tallest of us all. Please cooperate with Karl just this once. Please?” Donna implored

“Once. I’m helping him for this one time only. When I get my hands on the Lycan responsible for this problem, I’m gutting him and throwing him at Moreau’s reservoir.” At Donna’s admonishment of Alcina, Heisenberg gives a shit eating grin, showing some rather very pointy canines.

“And Heisenberg, stop provoking Alcina.” Donna adds

“Fine, you’re no fun Donna”

Suffice to say, the baking went well. Who knew that the 4 Lords working together would be a great success? If only Mother Miranda saw her children working together peacefully she might have had a heart attack and thought that she suffered one as well.

Or she might have been dreaming.

 Castle Kitchen (6 hours before Mother’s Day)

“Alright, the cake has cooled down completely, So what color will be the icing?” Donna asked

“Yellow” “Cream” “Light Blue” the other three said simultaneously.

 *beat*

“Light blue? Really? Not everything needs to be manly Heisenberg”

“And not everything needs to be boring like your color, Alcina”

“It should be yellow, like Mother’s sunny smile” Moreau explains

“And in which ever universe has Mother ever smiled like the sun?” Heisenberg counters Moreau

“Hey now. No need for that tone!”

“Tsk, sorry Moreau” Heisenberg apologizes to a quiet Moreau

“Fine, let’s do pastel yellow it’s easier for the eyes anyway” Donna supplies, getting ready to start coating the cake with the yellow cream

 Inside the Sanctuary

“Happy Mother’s day”

“We hope you like the cake Mother”

“Yes, we poured out our love in baking it. I hope you appreciate it” Heisenberg said

“Why thank you loves. This is a wonderful surprise. And Moreau said that you all worked together in baking it. How wonderful!” Mother Miranda said grateful for once that her children worked together without collateral damage (that she knew of).

“Although Heisenberg, I heard something interesting from Urias” Mother Miranda looks pointedly at Heisenberg, who for some reason starts to sweat and turn pale.

‘oh shit’ “Really Mother? Good news I hope” Heisenberg tries to bluff his way out.

“Why it was quite peculiar really. He said that you got 10 of his Lycans for a special project. I wasn’t aware that you have some side projects”

 The 3 Lords turn to Heisenberg

“Wait what?”

“I KNEW IT!!” Alcina unsheathes her claws

“You’re responsible for this mess in the first place!!”

“Really guy relax, if anything I just proved that we need more than one traveling merchant in the village for a successful and on time delivery” Heisenberg starts to carefully ease his way to the nearest exit.

 “GET HIM”

In the end, Alcina was more than ready to feed Heisenberg to Moreau’s pet fish. Only Donna stopped her, citing Moreau would probably be inconsolable if his pet got indigestion from all the metal.

And that is how Heisenberg saw himself in doggy jail for a week along with his Lycan cohorts. Mother Miranda did get her Mother’s day gifts from her children although a bit later than expected.

 And the cake?

 The cake was surprisingly delicious.