#and honestly earlier i didnt feel low but i DEFINITELY feel it this time

[arionaleilani]

[delileaf]

so i fr work in a research building and everytime someone looks me in the eye and tells me they’re working on tuberculosis i gotta try real hard not to fall to my knees and start screaming

#yes it is surprisingly a very active area of research #it shocks me everytime #literally posters i walk past everyday abt tuberculosis and all i can think of is him…..

hi stranger!!! this post came up while i was searching abt TB and i didnt see that you were a red dead redemption(??? that cowboy game that i wish i could play where the main character gets TB) and i was at first very confused that you were like. kind of hostile to the idea of tuberculosis treatment? i saw a post with the name arthur and i was like ohh that makes so much more sense lol

but yeah tuberculosis is still a very big problem, just not one that gets acknowledged much in wealthy or majority white nations. due to several reasons (most notably corporate greed in the pharmaceutical industry), TB treatments are very inaccessible to a lot of people — this has changed very recently, but in some parts global south, just a diagnostic test could cost an entire week’s worth of wages

if you know who john green is, he actually started going in on tuberculosis activism like last year and leveraged his fanbase against johnson & johnson and a biotech company called cepheid in order to get them to reduce the pricing of their treatment & testing equipment in low- and middle-income countries! cepheid & their parent company danaher are still dragging their feet (only the first test for TB is reduced, but if someone tests positive they’re supposed to get a second test that will check what drugs will be effective against their strain. this is a major deal and is still unaffordable to a lot of people).

i’ll restrain myself from infodumping too much about my (very unsettling) special interest, but i have some recommendations in case you’re curious:

phantom plague by vidya krishnan is an incredible resource that is very approachable for someone not familiar with TB history and so full of interesting information. krishnan covers both history and the modern day, and goes into not only some germ science but also the social, political, and financial aspects. this is a massive recommendation to anyone, it’s just really really good

tbfighters . org is a website created by TB activists that’s a great jumping off point for anyone wanting to know what’s up with TB activism right now — includes basic details about TB in the modern day, some very easy calls to action (mostly focused on pressuring cepheid out of their price gouging, with some political information for the US and UK also!), and at the end a bunch of links to learn more!

(also i mentioned john green jumping into the fray earlier, so i have to talk about how he has a bunch of really great youtube videos and tiktoks about TB — history & also the modern day fight against it)

okay sorry this was a lot. please have a good day/night!!! :) <3

wow- this is super interesting !!!! I’ve actually just started my PhD in cell biology and I get so focused on the science I sometimes forget there’s a whole like political and economic landscape to biotech and pharmaceutical companies. doing research, it’s so easy to forget you’re not working in a vacuum!!

honestly as someone from the uk TB is just not on my radar and in my stupid science brain i was like - we can treat it? therefore we solved that problem? very privileged and sheltered of me I know, so I’m so glad you sent me that info!!

it’s crazy to me that i spend so much time getting sad over a fictional cowboy while real people are still going through very real situations with TB and suffering because they can’t afford tests or treatment - something i feel like more people and especially the rdr fandom should keep in mind when making jokes abt a ‘cowboy disease’

so thanks so much for all that!!!! (also …. you should definitely play the cowboy game, it’s amazing but will break you into a million pieces)

have a lovely day!!

[a-kyber-star]

clone conspiracy and truth and consequences liveblog comments

cade and slip seem nice they deserved better

guess who's the attack dog 🙄

MY LADY FROM ROGUE ONEEE

MY GIRLFRIEND RIYOOOO ITS BEEN TEN MILLION YEARS

her hairpiece looks like one of padme's <3

rampart is so slimey

senate scene without padme :^(

rampart you better not be plotting to assassinate my gf

the racing from the earlier episode is on one of the tvs in 79s lol

i love her outfit so much its gorgeous with the colorblocking and gold filigree accents

why does the animation feel like actually really good

IS HE CALLING REX

"rampart you committed genocide and it sits this easily with you?" "yeah lol."

girl no you cant go following strange droids down dark alleys oh its just bail

ever since i found out bail's va is the same as hermes from futurama i can't unhear it in his voice

i love the cardigans/robes bail wears theyve got neat like panel embroidery

what the fuck is ryeoh who is ryeo chuchi my gfs name is reeyo

this "bounty hunter" def is crosshair

NO NOT MY GIRLFRIEND I'LL KILL YOU

KEEP YOUR CROSSHAIR OFF MY GIRLFRIEND UGLY BITCH

he keeps like aiming for the shoulder not the heart lol not quite low and central enough to be a proper heart shot

IS IT REX IT ISSSSS RETURN OF MY BOYFRIEND HES SO HANDSOME

oh its not crosshair??? paint me corrected

pff not the martez garage

"youre not wearing any identifiable markings" no shit hes an assassin

WHAUH THE ELECTRIC CYANIDE TOOTH????

pretend theres a line break here

my handsome boyfriend captain rex

i wonder at what point 'imperial centre' becomes interchangeable/replaces coruscant

THATS NOT HOW YOU SAY HER NAMEEE

oh funky lookin bodybag

can we like close the container w the corpse while the child is present

aww this is like when ahsoka and padme would hang out and do politics

this poncho has a dope pattern

so like ramparts basically already proceeded with the imperial defense bill w/e with the tk troopers but we still need the pretense? of legality in order to continue i guess

is grandma gonna get shot thru the window survey says: not yet !

venator maintenance tunnels...... poor baby cal stuck on bracca for 4ish more years

and nobody notices some guys stuck hanging from a transport?? no "hmm suspicious transport activity over the venator maybe we should check that out"

"seal the door" and he shoots the controls. classic

definitely in galaxy's top ten least conspicuous escapes

THERE WAS A CAMERA RECORD OF THE INCIDENT?????

AW FUCK NOT SHEEV

"i was following orders" dude how many times has this excuse worked

oh fuck hes blaming it on the clones too??? what a dickhead tossing his chess pieces aside once theyve served their purpose

no honestly sidious triggers my fight or flight so bad

mr ian killed that speech tho

echo you didnt tell omega you were leavinf???? god this kid has enough issues as is now youre giving her abandonment problems??? like i'm happy echo is going with rex to help the clones and the rebellion but damn you should have warned her

[n7punk]

Since you mentioned Zelda do you have a favorite Zelda game? Mine is skyward sword!

gonna get a bit controversal here probably XD

i was literally just talking about my ranking earlier today with a friend, so here's my personal take. keep in mind, some of these games i haven't played since i was a small kid, and like... i know i played phantom hourglass but i cant remember a damn thing about it so i wont be including it. ive got some stuff like that. i've played like nine zelda games or something but these are the only ones i feel like i remember/experienced enough to rank.

twilight princess and breath of the wild are nearly tied for me. they're different kinds of games, so which one is "better" really depends on what im in the mood for (and what your particular style of gaming is), but i think they're two of the best games of all time and would recommend them to just about anybody who is open to that genre of game.

then honestly i would probably put spirit tracks or skyward sword after those two. its been a long time since i played spirit tracks but i remember really liking it as a kid. conversely, i was just replaying skyward sword in the hd remaster and while i remember loving it the first time i played it as a kid (not considering it as good as twilight princess, but still good), i didnt enjoy it nearly as much on this playthrough. i think the gameplay just isn't fun enough to carry the whole thing for me when i already know the story, but the first time i played it i was clinging onto every line so i loved it. like, i remember when i finished the scorpion fight and the sand drained away being like omg!! it looks like the hub from spirit tracks i wonder how it all fits!! so i'd definitely recommend skyward sword to a zelda fan, but probably not to someone who has never played the series before. i think the back half of the dungeons are distinctly more fun than the first half, which is kind of the opposite of what you want because i was like "come on, just get through sky view, and eldin, and the mining facility, and then you'll get to do the dragons." (flooded faron is my favorite level btw).

next is probably link's awakening. i played the remaster (never the original) and enjoyed it. i thought the remaster was INCREDIBLY done, such a cute and fun and high quality style with a beautiful result, all while preserving a lot of the original look and probably some of the feel too (at least from what ive played of the original zelda, which isn't much).

next is probably a link between worlds (on 3DS). i got pretty far and i think i stopped just because i started feeling lukewarm on it due to the difficulty curve (i have a lot tougher time with handheld games than controllers, and consoles are already harder for me than mouse and keyboard in general) and the story wasn't interesting enough to pull me back in. because of that, i wouldn't really Recommend a link between worlds unless you're already a zelda fan and have played the others above.

here's the controversial part, but i put ocarina of time at the bottom. i know so many people love it, so i was really excited to play it when it came out for the 3DS, but... that game was such a slog. i stopped about halfway through the game not because i was stuck, but because i wasn't having any fun. i think part of it was the low res art (the game was visually muddy, unengaging, and just kind of hard to discern), but ive played a lot of low res or even 8bit art games (my first video game ever was super mario bros for the NES, which came out 14 years before ocarina and obviously has much worse graphics), so part of it has to be the game, and visuals alone dont make a game boring. like i said, i was kinda bored at parts of skyward sword this playthrough and it's such a gorgeous game. being unengaging visually made it harder to get into the gameplay, but that wasn't all it was for me.

[muuurder]

HI ITS ME FROM EARLIER(like wayyy earlier)! (i shall give myself the name 'meatball'

okay so i genuinely have no idea how i didnt piece together him being autistic as well as having bpd. it makes perfect sense to me. i can see the vision fully. greta being his favorite person makes sense because typically, youd feel protective over someone you love. but brahms took the extra step. he would literally do ANYTHING for her.

i also think that the theory that he hates baths is wrong. i think it would be virtually IMPOSSIBLE to stay clean while lurking inside walls which also probably have very bad ventilation, plus he isnt supposed to be alive, so... he doesnt have to opportunity to bathe. we've seen his parents and the fire happened when he was 8, so id assume he developed a few habits since he had such strict parents. they probably heavily enforced things like hygiene.

i also completely agree with him only killing cole. the fear of abandonment can make you say and do things that arent entirely healthy. people take his threats to heart and turn him into a monster but he killed cole to protect greta. i mean she did ask for him to help her. he didnt kill Malcolm, he was just in the way a few times. he had already been left by his parents, he couldnt lose greta too.

i just read your headcanons and THE COOKING ONE, I LITERALLY HAVE THE SAME THING TYPED UP IN MY NOTES. he is definitely a helper. i feel like hed stand there and wait to be given a task and as for helping, i have an image of just knocking on a wall and he just spawns like "yes did you need something".

also i can see him having a cat. youd be wondering where him and the cat are, meanwhile theyre both in his room in the walls, just having a good time.

~meatball

YESSSS. Especially about the baths oh my god. I said before but I think he’s very tidy and actually really enjoys being clean. Including clean shave too, which I can’t imagine how rough it must be to shave with his burn scars. They aren’t smooth at all.

As far as Cole, I don’t think he even planned to harm COLE either. He tried to scare him off, I’d wager he’s actually not all that violent by nature. I think the mixture of threat and the he’s taking her from me and going to hurt greta, and the shattering of the sole item that has ever been used to allow him makeshift connection (though I can’t imagine how much resentment he likely has for the damn thing), it all kinda came to a head. Cause mind you his parents also just died, he’s upset and angry like I can’t blame him and honestly good riddens to Cole. He was a bastard. Fuck around and find out imo.

I will offer you this, I think once he gets used to being out of the walls he won’t go back in too often anymore. Possibly might move out. He’s been in there for years, and I feel like the moment you have the opportunity to come out you won’t want to go back in. It’ll feel too cramped and possibly have trauma reactions. Once your out of survival it’s wild how your body collapses. I will say if he does use the walls it’s to be a cheeky bastard. The cat likely won’t go in, king loves bathing far too much lol (at least in my story line).

I also Headcanon he likely has sight issues in one eye (near the burn) and possibly asthma or copd too due to smoke inhilation on top of dust and low air quality in the walls.

Aka the moment you get him comfy and trusting you, y’all making a doctors visit. To what doctor you ask? All of them. Every single one. He hasn’t had medical attention since before he was 8.

[sakuatsutingz]

Hii can you please do suna and miya twins in a secret relationship and how the team finds out pls :))💗

OHMYGOD I LOVE THIS REQUEST ILY THANK YOU <3 — jamie

suna, osamu & atsumu in a secret relationship

masterlist here

request here

suna rintaro !

suna would definitely not be out in the open with his relationship

he would always keep it low key but that doesnt mean he would neglect you in terms of affection !

when you both are alone together he would hold you in his arms and he would spoil you with as much affection as you need

when he knows nobody will see him in this soft state, he will let his guard down awh 🥺💞

the problem is

he !! is always !! so soft !! around you !!

whenever he sees you after practice, he would always bury his head in the crook of your neck as he hugs you, playing with your hair and places soft kisses on your cheeks and neck 🥺🥺

i am gonna die writing this goD

he would mumble sweet nothings lazily in your ear as well omg

“i love you babe.”

“why are you so perfect,”

“you’re so cute.”

god i am gonna cry this is tooth rotting fluff right here

nobody knew about your relationship at all bc its just !! so well hidden !!

but that soon changes as you decided to head to the volleyball gym early where suna is just waiting in before practice starts

how he got there early ? let’s just say his teacher let his class off earlier than usual so he was there before the others !

you visited him before heading off to your club activity, to drop off his snacks to munch on after training

you two were the only ones in the gym, so when he saw you, his eyes immediately softened as he walked over to you and engulfed you in his arms <3

he placed kisses on top of ur head and placed his head on top as well !!

that lasted until the gym doors swung open, the inarizaki vbc coming in

atsumu was shocked. like literally he sTOPPED in his tracks

osamu and kita didnt rlly give two shits tbh they just went on with their day

aran and akagi were interested, but not enough to question the relationship so gg lmaondnfnf

you two were BOMBARDED with questions abt ur relationship,,, like how long have u been together, was hiding it intentional etc

n e ways they accepted the sudden revelation and they honestly ship u two !

osamu miya !

you two never really talked about if you wanted to "come out" as a couple or not

it just ended up being that you guys kept it on the downlow

not trying to keep it a secret, it just ended up being that way on accident ,,

you two often got clingy when other people weren't around !!

like cuddles while playing games

or back hugs if it was just you two in the house cooking

he would always rest his head ontop of yours then randomly kiss your hair 🥺🥺

atsumu actually walked in when this happened once but he promised to keep quiet

osamu kinda ignored him when it did and just continued to cuddle you as you studied your notes for class <3

hE WOULD LOVE SPOILING YOU

gifts, food, or just overall skinship

would say "this is my way of making it up for all of the things we don't do in public."

def calls you some kind of possessive pet name

one day you were visiting their house when you thought you two were home alone !!

atsumu was meant to be out with friends

those friends just so happened to be their team

atsumu forget that you were coming over </3

so he invited the team over and they accepted

and that was how you and osamu were found ,,

cuddling on the couch with some fresh popcorn watching some trashy horror movie

atsumu miya !

timeskip spoilers ahead !

okay so this is timeskip cause i feel like it fits better

you were the first to suggest the idea of keeping this relationship a secret

because you didn't want him to have to deal with scandals

or have sponsors pulled from msby

plus you know how obsessive some fangirls could be <//3

he was against it !!

but you ended up convincing him oops

you guys were happy like that though

you always made time for eachother away from other people <3

kisses and hugs in the locker room before games

which is also how the team found out bYE

atsumu was late to the court

because he stayed behind so you could give him a good lucks kiss !!

then one of the other members ran back to get him since he was needed

and they saw you lol

pROBABLY WAS HINATA

cause they told the whole team

and by the end of the game all of msby, even the coach and managers, knew you were together

you could see it made atsumu happy that they know <33

so you didn't say anything to deny it

i have a feeling that sakusa and bokuto had a bet on if you guys were together or not

because you and atsumu were always oddly close

sakusa better that it was an accident you two got exposed

bokuto said it was going to be intentional

BOTH OF THEM JUST A S S U M E D YOU WERE TOGETHER

guess sakusa got $20 richer that day

[tobebugjewce]

THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING 

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.?? 

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2 

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK. 

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link;  “https://youtu” 

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files; 

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote; 

Technical Support 1978 

then, 

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978 

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless: 

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well. 

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

[hopelesslylovesick]

Well then.

December 15, 2021 | 12:40 AM

It’s been about a week and a half since we decided to officially cut things off. We spoke since then but just little bits here and there.

I think early on I was still clinging on, constantly looking for signs of her and seeing if I could make excuses to talk to her. We texted for the first time today, she asked me briefly about if I had bday plans to which I told her I didnt.

That was all, the whole exchange. Even though it doesn’t really mean anything, I can’t help but feel that she must be pretty moved on already. Who knows, maybe not and she’s just being self disciplined in the whole cutting off thing. And that’s a very real possibility, but I can’t help but feel like that’s not the case. All the little interactions we had since then give me the sense that she seems fairly moved on. And you know what, I need to start accepting that this is it.

Not that before I thought we’d get back together or something. But it’s hard to accept it immediately you know? I need to stop trying to hold on and let go. I need to stop checking to see if she maybe posted a new story, see how she is, and try to see what she’s up too. Because it’s none of my business anymore.

Man it sucks. It really does. And honestly I feel like a huge idiot for trying to hold on to it. She seems fine, besides not like she doesn’t have a bf to be there for her lmao. I’m tired of it. I’ve had such low energy lately and no motivation for things. I honestly sort of want to do a line or something on my bday night again. Just to clear my head and reset or something.

I had a thought come to me earlier tonight. Bit of a sad one really, but it’s the fact that I don’t think I have the energy to date and really care for someone how I used to. When I first dated A or X I always wanted to go above and beyond. Whether it’s write cute little letters, give flowers to them, whatever it is. I was always so eager and willing to do little cute shit for the person I was with. But idk if I have that kind of energy anymore. I’m just so tired.

I’m sure that if I find someone I really love I’ll want to, and I really hope I do. But man…I can’t help but feel like I won’t be able to. Like, how long do I have to keep trying like this only for things to end? Man I prob sound so pathetic and all, but honestly i don’t really care at this point.

Why am I trying to love someone who can’t give me that same love back? Man and that was such a big point for me that I never mentioned to her, and maybe I should have, but realistically what would it have changed? I definitely thought about bringing it up with her on our last night together, but I chose to just be happy with her for a little longer while I could.

That shit doesn’t work, there’s a flaw. Dont get me wrong I can see situations where it could work. But regardless the flaw exists that at the end of the day, I wasn’t and I was never going to be her primary partner. I know she loved me, and I fully believe that. But I also recognize that while she may have been my #1 to me, I wasn’t necessarily hers. It wasn’t something that I let bother me too much during our relationship, but it definitely had its moments where it would pop up. Moments where she’d prioritize him over me, and honestly that shit bothered me a little. Man I feel stupid even complaining about it, but like it was what it was. At the end of the day she could have been my all, but I was never going to be hers.

Idk if I’ll share this with her. I remember that she said she wants to read everything I write after we break up but like what’s even the point LOL. Does she even care all that much? It seems to me like the longer we’re apart the more fine she is without me, it’s only when we see eachother or what not that she seems to actually miss me.

This wasn’t even supposed to be this long but I got real ranty I guess.

Change of topics a little bit. Actually nevermind. I’ll wait to recap this year when I inevitably make a drunk/high post on or around my bday.

I wonder if she’ll even try to still do anything for christmas w me lol. I think I’ll just expect or assume that nothings happening. That way I won’t have to be disappointed if nothing happens. Maybe I’ll just go watch the movie on my own. That way maybe I won’t associate it with her, who knows.

I might go to the AGO alone this Saturday. We’ll see if I’m actually not lazy enough to go, but I do want to sort of just walk around and take pictures at the picasso exhibit. Listen to some music while I’m there. We’ll see.

Still need to decide if I want to buzz my hair. It’s not even bc of her tbh, just mainly bc my hair keeps being unruly LOL

Hope I’m able to land a co-op placement for the summer soon. Adulting is coming near in the future and that shit scared me lol. Think I may start going harder at the gym, just so that I’ll be too tired to think that way.

That’s it, I can probably keep going but I’m going to stop myself. Oh yeah, I think I might be a lil depressed but honestly prob not lmao. Just seasonal sadness I bet. Been listening to To Be Loved by Adele this whole time while writing. I want to cry a little bit. If it was a friday I’d definitely be drinking rn.

Future me, I hope you’re happier then I am now.

[mischiefandi]

A Shitty Love Song - PSA

suicide trigger warning!!

okay so i feel like i owe u all an explanation as to why A Shitty Love Song is on hiatus and how that all went down. i’m sorry i didnt explain earlier, but honestly i didnt really know how to put it all in words. i’m okay don’t worry! here we go

as you all probably know, i based the series around stuff i went through when i was 16-17. it was a very tough year for me mentally and it almost ended very badly around may but thankfully, my friends and family intervened and now im fine.

part 7 of A Shitty Love Song was initially going to revolve around the darkest moment of my life, and i tried to write all down. part of it was to process and put it behind me, the other part was because i had a whole plan for how the series was supposed to go and even though i was not looking forward to it, i didnt want to compromise what i had set up for. but when i tried to write it, i suddenly understood that it was way too hard for me. im not trying to get you to pity me or anything ofc but i just want u guys to know that part 7 was just way too dark and described suicide and i was afraid it would be triggering or too heavy for some people

i dont like romanticising suicide and i was afraid that by writing it into the series, i would be doing just that. someone who feels so bad and low should be focusing on their mental health and not on her crush lmao (mental note for V who still doesnt seem to get it ^^)

i got very worried about the execution side of it as well, i got very very sad and anxious and it was just not a good couple of weeks for me. i eventually put it down and stopped trying, thinking if i just took a break i’d figure it out. i came back to it about 3 times and just could not figure out how to write it without feeling horrible lmao. believe me when i say, if i had the mental stability necessary to write it, i would have. but i did not want to hurt myself by delving back into it all.

now im entering exam month for uni and unfortunately i will not be able to write until february, my last exams are at the end of january so it really is impossible.

im so so sorry for letting u guys down and for making you wait so so long, i understand if u guys are done with it lmao, or have forgotten about the series cus it’s been so long, but i promise you that i will figure out a way to write part 7 before march. it will take tweaking and going in a new direction with the series, which is why it will take time, but i do not want to abandon the series, im very very proud of it and i am truly so so so excited for u guys to read the last part and to get to see y/n’s progression

i am not quitting the series nor am i quitting tumblr, im definitely not done writing for peter either, im just very overwhelmed by stuff that happened to me a couple of years ago and i have way too much uni coursework right now to be able to dedicate myself to my writing

i hope you understand and you’ll be able to wait a few months before u get to read the next parts of A Shitty Love Song

until then i love u guys and i appreciate all of your wonderful comments and enthusiasm, you have been on my mind this whole time and i feel super blessed🌸🌸🌸

ASLS series tag:

@cas-loves-pizza

stiles stilinski tag:

@stiles-o-dylan24 @duskholland @r0s3mm @hcomet28 @thegirlwhoimagined @cherriesanwine @decaffeinated--fangirl @shutupstyless @x-give-em-hell-kid-x @teen--marvel @soincredible @behind-my-hazeleyes27 @bibliophilewednesday @jazminebrightxx @cheesecakes-randomshitz @traveleraroundsworld @perrytheplatypus11

forever tag:

@stixnstripesworld @masterofbluff @drakewalker04 @superapplepie @apatheticanvas67482

[rueren]

𝔰𝔩𝔢𝔢𝔭𝔶 ~ 𝔒.𝔗𝔬𝔯𝔲𝔲

toruu takes you shopping bc u deserve it and cause why not, but he’s really tired and can you honestly blame him with how hard he works ???

＊＊＊

pairing : oikawa toruu x reader

wordcount : 1074

warnings : none but maybe soft toruu should be a warning of itself, hes too precious

genre : fluff 

notes : #not edited oops #in this house we die like men 

 im soft for toruu rn someone help 

“wanna come in?” you questioned.  oikawa smiled up at you through his bangs, as he sat on the plush chair in the corner of the fitting room lobby next to your room.

“take your time, show me what you need opinions on”

“please, after the plaid shorts fiasco i’m not sure i want it,” you teased, leaning down to look him in the eye.  His eyes widen a retort on his lips but after the lopsided grin appears on your face, it turns into a pout and he turns away, arms crossing against his chest.

“that was one time, and we were in highschool! You’d think you would have let it go by now, sheesh.”

your laugh rings in his ears, and he realizes that he if there was a way he could bottle that sound and keep it on his person forever, especially when he was overseas at matches, he would do so in a heartbeat. he feels your fingers cupping his face, palm pressed against his chin, tilting his pouting face up towards yours and he softens. one of these days you were gonna kill him not that hes complaining 

“i’m never letting it go,” another grumble almost tumbles from his lips before you press a chaste whisper of a kiss to his, turning into the fitting room, “alright gimme a sec babes.” 

after what felt like too long for you to try on whatever outfits you had in your hands, you step out of the change room, you find him slumped against the wall.

your lips tug upwards, seeing his arms folded tight against his chest again, almost hugging himself, and his phone on his lap from where it fell out of his hand. he’s got his head propped up in the corner where the two walls meet, falling over a bit, with his hair falling into his eyes, and his mouth open the slightest bit. one knee knocked against the wall and the other following suit, he’s curled into himself for his nap.

he’d only just fallen asleep a moment ago, after you showed him a top you weren't sure about (he absolutely adored the color on you, his hands reaching out to your waist making your face heat up.  how he managed to make you feel this way even after being together for so long was a mystery) so when he hears the shuffling of you grabbing his and your bags, his eyes flutter open, trying to pretend he was awake the whole time.

“ready to go, babe?” his groggy voice gives him away, and you pick up his phone and tug on his wrist. at the cash, he’s hovering at your back as you pay (much to his whiny protests from earlier, you’d insisted on paying for yourself today, if only from one store. that’s all he’d allow, if you kept insisting on this. “i don’t see why you need to pay for it,” his bottom lip jutted out slightly, hands shoved into his pockets. “you know i’ll do it. i want to, please just let me.” “ that’s exactly why i want to, toruu” “oh my god, you’re so stubborn.” “says you,” “...fine, one store and that’s it.”)

he’s got his fingers dancing at the hem of your shirt. as much as he wants to just to go home and shove his face into your neck and let the smell of your shampoo and the rhythm of your heartbeat lull him to sleep - only for a short while. he could spare that much, right? he’d wake up extra early and train super hard tomorrow to make up for it - he knew you wanted to go out today. it was his suggestion, to begin with. he knew how patient you were with him, how he’s always off training, or sponsorships, or doing one thing or another. he wishes more than anything he could be more present, with his hectic schedule. so he took you out today.

as tired as he may be, he couldn’t say he wanted to go home now. he could tough it out a little while longer. for you. you deserved it. your so so good to him, he could tough out a few more hours.

you take a step back and press into his chest, and not a second later you feel his forehead thump against the crown of yours. a low hum comes from him as you turn around facing him. his eyes are droopy, the bags under them not hiding anything.

hands outstretched, he’s reaching to get your bag for you. he’d already pried the other ones from your hands while you were paying if only to distract himself from reaching over and replacing your card with his.

“where too next, love?” his fingers lightly graze your before lacing them, “or are you hungry? it’s been a while since we ate. want anything??” he’s too sweet for his own good, when he’s not being sassy anyways.

you tug him along and when you don’t turn right to the next store or the food court, he gets confused. once the mall doors come into view, he feels bad for feeling this sweet tightness in his chest, realizing what your doing.

“babes, what are you doing?” he’s feigning innocence. “you need a nap, toruu. more than a nap.”. he’s digging his heals into the floor. or more like trying to, but since the waxed glossy mall floor doesn’t give much traction, he’s basically getting dragged. you’re both giggling at his antics, all while his protests are coming out as less convincing than he intended them to be.

he swears up and down through yawns that he’s fine, that hes not tired at all, that there’s still a bunch of stuff you guys gotta buy, but you force him into the car and into bed when you get home.

when his alarm for one hour blares, you turn it off before it wakes him up. begrudgingly, you sent a different one for another 2 hours (he’d be more frustrated that you didnt wake up at all than if you woke him up a little bit later than intended).  he deserved a more than one hour nap. his face pressed into you chest, he’s got a leg strewn over your thighs, and both his arms wrapped around you. his soft breathes are barely heard under the hum from the heater pumping through the apartment, but every now and then he lets out a sigh that tugs at your heart strings.

the alarm stirred him a little but your hand is in his hair, hushing him back to sleep. your sweet nothings ring in his ear and he nuzzled his face farther into your chest, smiling slightly.

he definitely deserves more than an hour.

＊＊＊

[carvedsam]

I’m the anon earlier that was feeling anxious, and I gotta say....I’m pretty satisfied with the ending. There were definitely changes I would’ve liked to have seen but it ultimately being about Sam and Dean? Dean getting to go out as a hero? Sam getting to have his normal life, even if he spent like a weird amount of time wearing a shitty wig? (that’s his business tho! We all do weird things when our soulmate dies!) Spending the rest of eternity in Heaven together? *chef’s kiss* it ended where it began and I can appreciate that

AHH HI AGAIN! I'm so happy you liked it overall <33 honestly my expectations were so so low i had no idea what to expect, and i honestly didnt dare to think this ending was a serious possibility. so yeah im pretty happy with it honestly!! there's always some things we'd like to change but at the same time i feel like i couldn't have asked for more 😌

[captain-jinguji]

Hi! I really love your writing! Hope you're alright! Can I get a headcannon of all three? (Or which ones you want!) Groups that have a crush on a fan? Like they see them at a handshake event or an album signing fanmeet and they fall in love? What would they do?

👀 I can try lol let's get to it. Glad you enjoy the content love 💖 I kind of left all of these off on a cliffhanger 😂

STARISH + QUARTET NIGHT + HEAVENS falling in love with a fan

STARISH

Natsuki:

It was probably at a meet and greet when he saw you in your piyo-chan themed outfit and smiling brightly in front of him. Out of all his friends, him and otoya probably have the easiest time hitting it off with fans and seeing you being super into the same things that he is makes his heart tingle a bit. Most people think hes childish but you seem super supportive! Exchanges numbers with you and it soon blossoms into a nice friendships, but he can feel himself wanting more than that.

Tokiya:

He tries to stay professional every time he meets fans out and about but you were looking great that day and honestly didnt even mention that you were a fan. You were super nice and polite when he met you in the coffee shop that morning and the casual small talk turned into an actual conversation. From that day on, he always came into the coffee shop in the mornings to talk with you and at some point you guys just had each others numbers lol you did confess to him that you are a fan, but you're not crazy like some others, which is mainly why he ended up falling; you weren't super insane.

Cecil:

He just saw you in the crowd and your eyes met. It's super cliché but he swears it was love at first sight. And then he saw you backstage because you were VIP and he just KNEW he had to meet you. He was super loving and so were you and honestly you guys just hit it off. Cecil always brags that he can sense these things and he sensed that you guys were meant to be on some level, he just didn't realize it would be head over heels romantic.

Ren:

He probably met you on set because you were an intern or something and Ren being Ren, he's always super nice and flirty and you tried so hard to just brush him off but it just makes you want him more and ugh at some point you did give in and flirted back and that just set him on fire and now he just HAD to go out with you so he took you for dinner one night after production and you confessed that you were a fan and duh he gave you an autograph and asked you to please be chill about it. And then you teasingly asked him what he's gonna do if you don't and all of a sudden his lips were on yours and now hes confused on how the hell he fell for a fan.

Otoya:

He was giving guitar lessons to a group of fans once that won like a contest but you really stood out because you were such a natural and he swears youve done this before but you swear you've never even touched a guitar? Smh he had to see how far you can go so he just kept you around after the lesson and you guys soon become super good friends. Numbers were exchanged and you guys were texting day and night. It was all the silly love things; smiling at your phone, talking all day, shy little flirting... He was definitely not prepared for this.

Syo:

He was at a photo booth with fans and you and I just had the matching fedoras? Like how? What were the odds? Asked you about it and you guys actually bought it at the same store on the same day???!!! Hes freaking out but its also so cool and then you tell him you have like a whole collection and he gets super excited because he LITERALLY has a separate closet for JUST his fedoras okay? Gives you his number so you can show off all your fedoras and he finds out you guys have even more matching ones and suddenly shawty doesnt feel so weird anymore and like hes odd but he also feels... This strange attraction.

Masato:

Masato has a favorite tea shop he goes to at least once a week to buy new teas and just sit down and relax. It was really funny because you literally ran into each other and the tea just kind of fell everywhere. It was super awkward and both of you were blushing but then he noticed you guys organized the teas back in the exact same way and he just asks if it's weird that he does it alphabetically and in color and then you just added that you low-key hate the way the store does it becomes its NOT alphabetically and by color. He invited you to join him for tea and he swears hes never felt so relaxed before; hes never laughed that much before. When he found out you're a fan, he just kind of stiffened and hoped you weren't crazy, but deep down he knew that you werent and he just kept coming back to the tea shop more often now...

QUARTET NIGHT

Reiji:

You actually saved him from other fans by dragging him into a photo booth. Cue cute photos but also a group of fans running the other way! You guys laughed the incident off but you did confess that you were a fan also..he joked that you only dragged him away so you could kidnap him but he saw you freak out and promise that is wasnt like that he felt soooo bad. Told you that he was joking and things are okay and invited you to spend the rest of the day with him and you guys just kind of became really close. He honestly feels like a teenager in love right now...

Ranmaru:

Rock concert gang! You just asked him to move aside because he was blocking your view and he was about to tell you off but you actually looked so HOT okay? He can't do that. And then you noticed who HE was and you guys just kind of stared. You apologized first and wanted to move aside, but instead he dragged you back and put you in front of him. Honestly being so close to him was giving you a heart attack but you didnt show that. Afterwards, he walked you home because you guys just started talking about rock and you honestly became even more attractive to him and now he cant get you off of his mind...

Camus:

It was at a meet and greet and you ran into him and normal camus wouldve thrown you across the room but fan camus couldnt do that. So he just kind of bit his lip and told you it was okay but you insisted on making it better and bought him sweets afterwards and who is he to deny his fans wishes, right? Actually finds out you bake and of course he has to judge your baking now and demands asks you to get him some. Long story short, the baking just convinced him more ....

Ai:

He wont admit that he goes to games con but he goes to games con. He saw you in a fully functioning robot costume and he asks you all about it. How you got the idea, how you got the electronics to work, etc... Was so amazed by your intelligence but also gave you some ticks and tricks on how to better it. Honestly he asked if you wanted help on sparkling it up a bit and so you invited him over to your house. You mentioned that you were a fan and he just kind of hummed his songs with you, but now his chest is feeling warm?

HEAVENS

Eiichi:

You were one of the new interns at raging and he's had his eyes set on you for a while. Of course, he knew you were a fan so he actually gave you a private show once and was happy you enjoyed it lol but then you got to talking and his flirty demeanor changed into more of a serious one. He was actually interested in what you were saying and who you were as a person and he knew that this was the start of something...

Kira:

It was funny because he actually knew you through his family and he was kind of surprised that you were also a fan. Spoke to you and though he himself doesnt speak a lot, he did comment and eventually joined the conversation. Brought up memories you guys shared and suddenly he realized how much he actually missed those young childhood days...

Nagi:

First things first he already hates you. Just because he was nice at the meet and greet, doesnt mean he likes you. When you ran into him afterwards he actually low-key snapped at you until he realized you were a fan from earlier and he got scared he wrecked HEAVENS reputation. So he took you out for ice cream to make up for it and now hes actually laughing at your jokes and he hates himself for it...

Eiji:

You won a contest that allowed you to spend the day with him! He had everything planned out and took you out to eat and shopping, but then you dragged him off the plan and now youre watching the sunset together? Its so cliché romantic and he cant deny the feeling of needing to wrap you up in his arms, but he can't do that, can he ....?

Yamato:

You guys competed together and when he saw you in the crowd, he got super excited and it gave him even more energy. Literally hunts you down after the show and grins the biggest grin. Says he didn't know you were a fan and you just kinda said that "of course you have to support your rivals". This just made him laugh and challenge you and long story short you guys were making out from all the build up tension that you managed to make over the years and now he has eiichi scolding him...

Van:

He saw you. He liked you. He had to get you. Knew you were a fan because you were at all the concerts and always had VIP passes so to acknowledge that he took you out for a drink *wink wink* you guys somehow got into the deeper conversations of life and he really liked the way you think? So he gave you his number "just in case something happened" and walked you home, but now hes the one with butterflies and a racing heart...

Shion:

Usually his bandmates were the ones with crazy fans and the ones who get the most attention but then you wanted to meet HIM not eiichi, or van, or even nagi. So he immediately wanted to prove himself but he just loved the way you smiled and laughed at his jokes and his eyes shone so brightly at you and wow are you even real? Gets your number and much like Otoya, it's an all day every day thing now...

[paladinwife]

ya didnt have to call me out like that man- GSHSGSJKJGJ but uh all 50 for goober :> (beatrice-santello)

@beatrice-santello​ @of-saints-and-demons​ oh god here comes Goober

1. Does your F/O have a birthmark? (or any type of freckles or beauty marks?)

None that are visible! She might have some on her body under the clothes, but none that we know about in canon. I headcanon that she has a couple of moles on her torso.

2. Is your F/O the type to volunteer to their community? 

Judging by her past, which she spent fighting to protect her community, she does in her own way. She’d probably keep doing it as well, were she not trapped as an AI in the Corporation.

3. Does your F/O the type to be giving or to take?

Ignoring what I thought this question meant as first she’s more selfless than you’d think. There’s a reason she’s kind of a hero figure in the Back Streets. Even now, her anger is over the dangerousness of the anomalies and her inability to protect people. I’d say she’s more of a giving person.

4. Does your F/O have any battle scars?

There’s a couple very visible on her face. Most likely there’s some on her body as well that you just can’t see because of the bodysuit.

5. Does your F/O wear make up? (Do you think they would be open to wearing makeup if they don’t wear it daily?) 

I don’t think she does, mostly because she sees it as a waste of time. The fact that she’d look great is beside the point.

6. Has your F/O ever dye their hair or worn a wig?

She hasn’t. She probably sees that as a waste of time too, but her natural hair is gorgeous either way.

7. What is your F/O fashion taste?

Sleek and maybe a bit edgy, with lots of black and red. Especially considering her signature longcoat.

8. How tall is your F/O?

Taaaall. She’s taller than every other sephirah in the game. If she’s not six feet tall, she’s pretty close.

9. What is your F/O’s blood type?

In her present form, she doesn’t have blood. Which is a really ominous statement out of context. Even when she did, I have no idea what her blood type would be.

10. When is your F/O birthday?

She doesn’t have a canon birthday, but I think sometime in late October to early November. She’s probably a Scorpio.

11. Does your F/O know how to cook? If so are they good at it?

She’s an okay cook, I think. She’s not amazing at it, but she can get by.

12. What is your F/O favorite flavor?  (sweet, sour, bitter, salty and umami (savory))

It isn’t listed here, but she probably prefers spicy food over anything else, and I mean very spicy. If she’s not in actual pain, it’s not enough.

13. If your F/O could be a fan of any video game what do you think it would be?

For some reason I like the idea of her just being unfairly good at Smash. She can and will crush you. Her main is probably Ganon or something similar, heavy on offense.

14. What type of aesthetic does you F/O have?

Reeeeed. She has a clear theming color, and I feel like her aesthetic involves it a lot. Red and slightly edgy.

15. What color is your F/O eyes?

They’re a golden color. Sometimes in fanart she’s portrayed as heterochromatic because of her damaged eye.

16. Does your F/O have any tattoos? If not do they like or hate the concept of tattoos? 

She doesn’t have any in canon, but I feel like she could get behind the idea. She’d probably get something in memory of her fallen comrades, as a reminder of what she’s here for and what’s at stake.

17. If you could matching tattoos what would it be?

Hmm, some kind of matching symbol to remind of us everything we’ve been through. Potentially one another’s weapons?

18. Does your F/O have any piercings?

I don’t think she does. She doesn’t hate the aesthetic, but depending on where they are they might be risky in battle, so she might not get any.

19. Is your F/O a cake or pie person?

Oooh, hard. I don’t think she’s crazy about sweets, but she’d prefer pie.

20. Is your F/O a morning or night person?

More of a night owl, I’d say. She’s just used to getting most of her work done at night, and it’s a hard habit to break.

21. Is your F/O a coffee or tea person?

Definitely a coffee person. It’s more readily available at the Corporation, and she prefers the taste. She takes hers black.

22. Is your F/O half empty or half full type of person?

She’s more of a pessimist and can maybe be a bit bitter at times. Hard to blame her, considering everything she’s gone through.

23. Does your F/O have a pet? If not in canon what do you think they would have if given the chance? 

I don’t think she has one in canon, due to the peculiarities of working for the Corporation. In a AU I could see her going for a big dog, or maybe a cat.

24. Is your F/O the type to want to live in the city or live out in the country? 

She’s lived in the city all her life and is used to it, but I don’t think she’d mind the space when it comes to living in the country.

25. Does your F/O like to swim?

I’m not sure she ever has, but (assuming she’s not in robot form) I could see her enjoying it. Helps keep her strong and all.

26. What harry potter house would your F/O be in? (Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin)

She’s a pretty clear shoe in for Gryffindor, especially considering her past.

27. If your F/O was in “avatar: the last air bender” what type of bender would they be? (air, water, earth, and fire) 

Honestly if her design didn’t already scream firebender, the fiery personality sure does.

28. Is your F/O LGBT+? 

It seems to be a pretty popular idea in the fandom that she’s some kind of wlw. I personally like to see her as bi like me.

29. Does your F/O have any artistic hobbies? (Knitting, drawing, painting, etc)

I don’t think she’s ever tried any, and she’d probably say something about just not being meant for that. Still, I wonder if she’d enjoy it if she ever did get the chance to try. Maybe just as stress relief.

30. What’s a piece of clothing your F/O is never seen without? (glasses, a necklace, hat, etc)

Her design changed as a sephirah, but that long coat she wore before was so iconic. When it comes to accessories though, she tends to keep things light.

31. What type of scent does your F/O remind you of?

Maybe some kind of warm, smokey scent. I mean I know she’s portrayed smoking a lot but maybe some kind of nice bonfire smell?

32. What’s something you see often that has little to no relation to your F/O but always reminds you of them?

She’s never used one in canon, but I could see her appreciating a good knife. Just like swords, which I absolutely do associate with her.

33. Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names for your F/O?

Goober. She probably hates that one. I’m also pretty generous with pet names, which embarrass her if they’re done in front of others, but she kinda likes them when it’s just us.

34. What does your F/O house/apartment look like? (or what do you think it looks like)

I think she’s just fine with a smaller space, just a small apartment is fine. She keeps it pretty organized, not minimalist by any means but she keeps it nice and clean.

35. What season reminds you of your F/O? (winter, spring, summer, fall)

Honestly, fall. Not just because of the colors, but I could see her liking it best.

36. Have you ever had a dream with your F/O in it?

Recently she has started appearing in my dreams. Confusingly Binah (who I’m not considering at all) was also there?

37. Does your F/O play any musical instruments?

I honestly doubt she’s ever had the chance to try, so she has no idea how. Her learning to play a saxophone though, hmm...

38. What’s a song that reminds you of your F/O when you hear?

For her as a character and not in a romantic way, Firestarter by the Prodigy. It definitely has the right heavy feel, and the fire imagery is always good for her.

Also, low key, Together Again by Janet Jackson came on earlier today, and it had me thinking about my ship with her.

39. What is your relationship like with your F/O?

Actually, really close. I’m one of the few people she feels like she can trust, and really she needs me around. I’m the only one she can lean on, and while she knows sometimes she doesn’t know how to handle emotional things, she’ll repay the debt by doing everything she can to protect me.

40. How long have you been with your F/O? (or at least been interested in them?)

I only just added her to the list in the past few days, but I’ve been thinking about her for slightly longer. Still, it hasn’t been very long.

41. Where is your F/O from? (as in born)

She’s from the Back Streets, which is a slum kind of area which is apparently pretty dangerous to live in. I’m also not sure what the city from Lobotomy Corporation is called, but it’s some kind of metropolitan area. 

42. Is your F/O the type to read reviews, or just go with their gut

She definitely goes with her gut, just as a general rule. After all, her gut is all she has.

43. What does your F/O’s Saturdays usually look like?

God, a much needed break. Get some coffee, maybe get a workout in, not have to deal with the bullshit from the Corporation. Maybe have some time with me. (This is, of course, unless she just has to work on Saturdays anyway, but god I want her to have a break.)

44. What is your F/O’s most valuable possession?

It’s probably a memento from her time in the Back Streets. Something small, but she’s still pretty fiercely protective of it. In some ways, it’s a reminder of what she’s lost.

45. What’s a fad you can see your F/O taking part of?

Honestly the thought of her taking part in any fad is really funny. The closest thing I can think of is her trying crossfit or something along those lines (and even then, something tells me she wouldn’t be impressed).

46. does your F/O prefer to work alone or with a team?

You know, I feel like it’s really easy to assume she prefers to work alone, especially with how she acts in game, but I think she misses having a team of people she could really trust. I feel like she likes to work with a team, but it has to be the right team.

47. How well does your F/O know tech? (such as computers, smart phones)

She has some exposure to tech, but mostly in a Corporation setting. So some things she’s pretty used to handling, but others she has no idea what to do with.

48. What’s some advice your F/O would tell you?

My first thought was she would tell me to hold on to what I believe in. I think in many ways she’s ashamed of not being able to protect others and the situation she’s currently in, so that’s what she wants to say the most.

49. What animal reminds you of your F/O?

I know she’s been compared to various kinds of big cats before, but maybe a bear? Like for both the vicious reputation and the protectiveness.

50. What color reminds you of your F/O?

Well, considering how strong the color theming is, it feels wrong to say anything but red.

51. What’s the most interesting fact you know about your F/O?

So we’re limited in how much we know about her in canon, so my fact might be kind of lame. But while she’s usually depicted wielding Mimicry (Nothing There’s weapon), she uses many more than that in her Sephirah Meltdown. They include, from what I remember, weapons from Spider Bud, Burrowing Heaven, Silent Orchestra, Apocalypse Bird, One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds, Mountain of Smiling Bodies, King of Greed, and Judgment Bird. In fact, I’m pretty sure she touches on most of the aleph-class weapons. Of those, my favorite one that she wields is Twilight (from Apocalypse Bird).

[toshis-puppycat]

Lap Dance

A/n: So I'm a whore I guess lmao. I felt so embarrassed writing this and I dont even care if it's bad. I hope yall enjoy.

Warnings: daddy kink, lap dance. Honestly idk but it's there

——

Y/n seemed to spend all her time with them, the "Losers club" they called themselves. Meeting Bev in college was a godsend because she was able to meet the rest of her friends, getting along with all of them. Well most of them, Stan was an ass to her since they'd met. But she loved going over to their apartment and just goofing off, it also pissed Stan off but that was just an added bonus to her. You got to hang out with the best group of friends you could ever hope for and piss off an asshat at the same time. Today you all opted to spend the night in, and play something you felt so nostalgic for. Truth or Dare. 

Richie suggested it, and the dumb fuck you found yourself calling your best friend. 

"Y/n! Truth or dare?" Richie yelled at you.

"Dare." You said confidently, Richie always made you all do the weirdest shit whenever you chose dare. 

"I dare you to give Stan a lap dance! And you have to wear something tasteful." He said, the laughing atmosphere dropped. Stan wasn't even in the same room as you guys and Richie decided that as his dare?

"Richie, why didn't you just dare something easier!" Eddie yelled at him.

"And why the fuck cant she just give a lap dance in what shes wearing?" Ben asked.

"Y/n is hot but if your going to give a man a lap dance, you gotta wear the right stuff." Richie said. You rolled your eyes, and grabbed what he'd bought you earlier. 'That's why he bought this for me. What a little shit.' You thought.

"I'll do it." You said, standing up from the couch you were sitting at. Eddie looked at you horrified. "I'm not backing down from a dare, Eds." You told him. "I'm no bottom bitch." You said to the group, they all laughed at that. Of course you weren't but Stan was an ass to you all the damn time. You couldn't deny it, hed made you leave pissed off beyond belief more times than you could count. "If I see you when I come out of the bathroom though, I'm beating the shit out of you Richie." You heard him curse and walked to the restroom to change. Richie was truly a little shit, but the man did have good taste in lingerie. The black lace bra and panties set with a garter belt and stockings, plus a robe to go with it. He said you just had to have it and now you agreed with him. Because despite all the arguments you had with Stan, you wanted him to know he was missing out on you. When you put everything on, you had to thank Richie even more. You looked hot, 'maybe this wouldn't be so bad to do' you thought, unlocking the door and quickly looking outside for any of the others. You heard them all in the living room still, and you've never been so grateful for a hallway. You quickly made your way to Stans door, and knocked. 

"Its unlocked!" He yelled, you smirked. He wouldn't be saying that if he knew it was you. You opened his door and quickly walked in, locking it behind you as you closed it. He was sitting at his desk, and his back was facing you. "Is y/n still here? I dont want to be out there if she is." He said. You narrowed your eyes at his back. 

"Nah, sadly this bitch is still here." You said, he quickly whipped his head around to face you scowling, his chair turned with him. The scowl dropped just as quickly as it appeared, being replaced with a shocked look, he was wearing sweatpants and didn't have a shirt on. "Awe what is it Stanley? Cat got your tongue?" You asked, walking towards him.

"Y/n, get the fuck out of my room." He said, glaring at you. Too bad it didn't do anything but fuel your anger. 

"Nah, I think I'm gonna stay. I gotta say Stan, your room is nice." You said, stopping just in front of him. You saw him looking over you, and how his eyes ended up glazing over a little before he looked at your face. You leaned forward, placing your hand on the back of his chair and put your knee on the side of his leg. You could feel the heat coming off him through his sweatpants. "I'm gonna give you a lap dance Stanley. And you're going to sit here like a good boy for me. Okay?" You asked. You didn't really care, to be quite honest. You liked how he was looking at you, you liked that he was speechless for once. Not having some nasty retort to throw at you. He nodded, and you smirked. "Good." You said, placing your phone on his desk hearing it play Beyonce's "Partition". Then you were dancing, literally using his own goddamn chair to move around, and whenever you ended up on his lap you would roll your hips and pressed yourself against him. You relished in all the low groans he made every time. Served him right, trying to be a jackass like he did. The song ended too quick for your tastes, and it ended with you being in his lap again. You felt so smug, Stan didn't seem to be able to form a coherent sentence at all. It was exhilarating knowing you did that to him and kinda hot. You felt yourself flush a little at how close you two were now. When you were dancing it was different, you didnt stay in his lap for long then. You felt yourself flush even more knowing just how much you both enjoyed what you did. You could feel him against your inner thigh. His hands moved to your hips before you could even register anymore, quickly picking you up and going to the bed, dropping you and quickly getting on top, quickly spreading your legs by getting in between them. 

"You think you're so fucking funny? Don't you?" He said, looking you furiously it was a little less scathing knowing he had an erection that he was currently grinding into you. "You always piss me off but this, this was too deliberate for you. You've wanted to get fucked haven't you?" He asked, you whined in response to him. You were soaked, seeing Stan react the way he did was definitely something that could make you act this way. He smirked, and moved a hand down between your legs, putting pressure on your clit through your panties. "God you're soaked. Did dancing on me do that for you? Are you that needy for such little contact to make you this wet?" He asked, looking at how your eyes widened and your hips jerked upwards against him. He smirked at your reaction.

"You want me don't you? You would love it if I fucked you right now? Wouldn't you?"

You didn't even try refuting him, the way he was just moving his hand on you, how he was grinding into you was making you go crazy. "Come on beg me, babylove. I might do it if you beg me." You whined again and he dropped his head to the base of your neck, nipping at you and kissing at just the right spot.

"Please, Stan. Please, please, please." You whimpered, you felt him smirk against your neck before he resumed with biting. 

"I bet you're so used to people just giving you what you want. And you know you sound so cute begging like that. You cant even form a sentence for me? But Im barely touching you." He said, moving your panties to the side and sliding a finger inside of you. Relishing how you jerked into the sudden intrusion. "God you are so wet." He groans out, a high pitched whine comes from you and you can see the facade he put on crumbling. 

"Please, daddy. Please fuck me." You whimpered out. Stan stopped moving, and you squirmed at the lack of movement, but suddenly he pulled his finger out and started struggling to pull his pants and underwear down.

"Think you can be good for me, babylove?" He asked, smirking when you eagerly nodded your head. "Good girl." He whispered, before kissing at your neck. "You know you always acted like such a bitch to me. Picking fights, pissing me off. I should've know you just needed to be taught a lesson." He breathed out, as you whined. "I'm gonna enjoy this, babylove." He said before kissing you. He pushed your panties to the side again and lined himself up, slowly sinking into you and bottoming out. "God you're so tight." He groaned out, and with a shuttering breath he started thrusting. Your hands moved to his back and you gripped at his shoulders. "You're a good girl for daddy aren't you, babylove?" He asked, you nodded frantically, eyes wide and you tightened around him. He groaned again, his hips moving faster. You could already feel yourself tipping over.

"I wanna cum, daddy please." You whimpered out, he chuckled. 

"Already?" He asked, smirking at how you couldn't even talk and looked at him with pleading eyes. "Okay baby, you can cum." He said, your eyes glazed over and you tightened around him even more moaning his name as he kept thrusting. He shuttered at the feeling and he felt himself reaching his own limit. He was getting sloppy with his movements before he finally buries himself in you, releasing inside you with a groan. He laid on you for a little before getting off and moving to your side, holding you close and listening to you shift to lay on him. You two laid there for a few minutes, breathless. 

"We should do that again." You said, still breathless and Stan looks down at you smirking again. 

"Yeah, we should babylove."

[sheriffofmagic]

Im always a big slut for hurt/comfort, so if you made it Vang0Chainz I would perish. Also Burger Chainz trying to enculture Vang0Bang0 by having a movie marathon that turns into a sleepover. Also what if Burger knew Vang0 before he lost his memory but promised Vango that he'd never tell him who he was before. im also tipsy lol im jus throwing spaghetti places. i love your blog btwww

I was going to go to sleep but i saw this ask and had to start writing immediately (must have some weird dumb pavlovian response to vang0chainz) anyway this is super dumb hopefully, maybe you’ll enjoy it. it’s almost 5am and i didnt proofread this so its definitely a huge mess but uhhhhh here’s the trash you ordered

---

“Will you stop fussing?” Vang0 says, snappier than he intended.

Burger Chainz pulls back from where he’d been inspecting Vang0’s hurt shoulder, a mix of hurt and embarrassment on his face.

“It’s not like this is the first time I’ve been shot,” Vang0 continues, “at least… I don’t think it is. Muscle memory or somethin’. Anyways, I mean it. I’m fine. And you hovering over me like I’m about to drop dead isn’t helping.”

Vang0’s not fine, obviously. He’s been shot which, muscle memory or not, stings like a bitch and more than anything makes him mourn for his jacket which there is no salvaging from the burn marks. A shame really, the chrome color had nearly matched that of his hair. He’d been thinking of turning it into his signature look, perfect for merchandising. Oh well. He wasn’t dead so that was a plus of sorts....

They were at Vang0 and Burger’s place (technically Vang0’s but Burger was there so often the distinction hardly felt necessary anymore) and, aside from the bullet wound, this was a pretty typical Saturday night. The TV providing a low din of noise to fill the empty spaces of whatever inane conversation was taking place between the two of them. Tonight was more tense than usual. Vang0 Bang0 was not a strong man. High charisma, low constitution. All that. Hiding pain wasn’t exactly in his repertoire but ignoring it? That he might be able to manage, especially if it stopped his massive cyborg friend from pulling the kicked puppy look for the next couple of hours.

Night City wasn’t exactly known for it’s premium broadcasting, most nights after midnight channels tended to switch to the same things. Classics. Vang0 didn’t care much for it, looking back at the past, even the fictional past, wasn’t really his thing. Burger Chainz, though, Burger Chainz loved them. Tried to hide it, Vang0 knew, but he’d referenced them often enough that Vang0 picked up. Vang0 was observant like that, even though he pretended not to be.

All this to say, it was after midnight, Vang0 was the one in pain, and yet Burger looked like he was the one on the verge of a breakdown. Vang0 took pity on him, the kind he only indulged in when the streams were turned off and the hour was late and he could pretend he and Burger were just normal friends, “What’s this one about again?” 

Burger looks startled for a moment then glances briefly between the TV and Vang0, “Uhh, it’s a rom-com. He’s emailing another kid from his school but he doesn’t know who it is.”

Vang0 bites back a sardonic comment about how if this kid really wanted to know who his secret admirer was he could cross reference the dialogue patterns and… yeah maybe he can see why he’s not the most fun person to watch movies with and- oh. Burger is still talking.

“-things were different back then, ya know? People weren’t so… nice.”

Vang0 laughs, “You think people are nicer now?”

He gestures to the wound in his shoulder and Vang0 rolls his eyes (Eye? Can monochrome robotic eyes roll?) “Well, not bad folks maybe. Criminals still aren’t great. Prone to violence and all that. But normal people? Yeah I think they’re better.”

“Well aren’t you optimistic.”

Without missing a beat Burger replies with a wry smile, “Well, I have to be don’t I? With you around. Gotta cancel out that negative energy.”

Burger goes back to watching the TV, a slight uptick in the corners of his mouth. Vang0 can only look at him half dumbstruck, half distracted by the pain (getting shot really does hurt).

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Burger Chainz glances toward him, unsure, “Mean no offense. Just- you kind of assume the worst. About situations. ‘Bout people. Sometimes, even ‘bout yourself, if it’s not outta line to say.”

“It is.”

“Okay.” An awkward silence. Punctuated by the sounds of the film, too loud to be filling this space. This isn’t the conversation Vang0 wanted to be having. Not now. Not ever, if he could help it.

“How is it wrong for me to assume the worst? Huh? People do the worst all the time. We see it every day. You see the world we live in? You want me to be optimistic here? After everything I’ve gone through?”

Burger finally looks away from the screen, for once there’s no tension in his brow, only sureness. “I don’t want you to be anything other than yourself but goin’ through life thinking every shadow is out to get ya isn’t much of a way of livin’.”

“I didn’t think I’d have to remind you of all people that I have good reason to be distrustful.”

“You don’t. I-” he sighs, “I just wish you’d be willing to things as more than just black and white.”

“Oh forgive me if I’ve had some encounters,” he gestures to his shoulder, “that paint Night City in a bad light.”

Burger hesitates, “Does it hurt?”

“Obviously.”

“Right…”

They lapse into silence again, both of them staring at the screen but Vang0 can tell from the rigid set of Burger’s shoulders that he’s not really paying attention. He’s too on edge. 

It’s not until after the emotional turning point of the film that Burger Chainz breaks the silence. The kid’s friends have all abandoned him, over something stupid Vang0 presumes despite not having paid much attention to what was going on. The kid was angry. Alone. And then the resolution starts and he’s so not alone anymore.

“It can’t all be bad though, right?” Burger asks tentatively.

Vang0 raises an eyebrow at him though which he means to convey Uh well, it is. In case you forgot I was shot by a person in your dumb city just a few hours ago. But which Burger Chainz apparently interprets as… honestly Vang0 has no clue how that man’s mind works.

“I- I mean. It’s not all bad all the time. Aside from the getting shot thing. Not great.”

“Can’t forget the memory wipe.”

Burger’s eye darts around the room, “R-right that too but- But. It’s not all bad. I mean, it’s pretty bad but think about it. You have an apartment and your fans and a sorta job and Dasha and- and me.”

He pauses.

“And that can’t all be bad. I’m only sayin’- the whole world ain’t out to get you, only part of it.”

This shouldn’t be comforting. At all. It should be unsettling. It should make Vang0 want to laugh bitterly and spout some brilliant sardonic response about the world being a cruel place that doesn’t care about people like him. But the music in the movie has shifted to something more hopeful. But it’s the late hours of the night where things like hope are less dangerous to feel. But Burger is looking at him with a soft look in his eyes. Like he really believes what he’s saying, the sap, and like he wants Vang0 to believe it too. He doesn’t but for just a second, Vang0 wants to. He wants to believe in a world with gentleness, the one Burger seems to be able to see where no one else can.

He sighs. Not a defeat. Not an agreement because Vang0 never yields. But an acceptance.

Vang0 tries to release the tension from his shoulders as much as he can, schooling his face into something less jaded. If anyone deserves to believe the world isn’t all sharp edges it’s Burger.

He looks between Burger and the screen, “So do these kid’s friends suck or is that just me?”

There’s a flash of disappointment across Burger’s face, but he’s never been one to push especially not with Vang0. If he drops the subject, Burger will follow. The flash is gone in an instant and a small smile grows across Burger’s face, any residual tension drifting away with it.

“Definitely not just you, they suck. You might’ve missed it but earlier they-” 

And he semi-listens to Burger re-explain the plot of the movie he hadn’t bothered to pay attention to but he finds it capturing him more now. His attention is locked somewhere between the play-by-play and the actions occurring on screen. It’s the resolution now and everything seems to be coming together just a little to easily. The friends are back and the school is welcoming and the crush is confessed and everything is wrapped up too neatly for Vang0 to feel satisfied. There’s still a panging ache in his shoulder. His head is still chattering away as it has been since he woke up. Still there is that faint voice urging him to pull away. To focus on what he’s good at and make content and be alone and convince himself that that is enough. But the volume is so low that the old pop tune playing over the credits doesn’t feel abrasive. Burger is leaning in towards him slightly, conspiratorially, as if talking about this dumb classic is as important as mission details. There’s a smile on Burger’s lips that reaches his eyes. And Vang0 is content, for this moment, to pretend that happy endings are enough.

[imbumkyung]

I Saw It In A Movie One Time (ch. 1) - My

(twilight x reader)

Pairing: undecided

Chapter 2

Warnings: none! But this doesnt include the twilight world just yet

Most of her days were being spent like this lately. At home, walk the dogs, help out mom with the house, say she’ll do this and that— but doesn’t. Except on the rare occasions that she does. Thats why even after a whole month of not going out with her friends and ninety percent of her day being spent at home, her room was only getting messier. And honestly, in 2019, cell phone addictions are to blame.

Hours in her room dressing up with nowhere to go, and even more hours on instagram watching how much fun everyone else was having. In truth, it was a hole she dug on her own, rejecting invites and not creating them. She knew she needed to lose weight before going into the military because let’s face it— she can’t succeed in life any other way if education was never going to work out for her. She needed some sort of security for her future and if college wasn’t going to do it, the military would have to. Or at least that’s what her parents told her.

Though she was content, there was the part of her that wished there was some other way. But there wasn’t. She tried a whole dreadful year of college as an art major, and through that year she prioritized anything but school. She prioritized dancing and her social life. It hit her like a car crash that she couldn’t live on like this especially the the angel on her shoulder telling to her make the right decisions or her parents would find out about her antics. So when the car crash happened while she was supposed to be in school— instead she was on her way to get her nails done— it was the last straw for mom and dad.

The only thing that really made her want to stay away from the military was the boy she was talking to earlier in the year. That stupid boy. Long story short, the heartbreak he gave her really made her realize how strong she wanted to be, and let her dad know she wanted to see a recruiter the very next day. A maybe it was impulsive, but definitely rational.

So there she was, in her room at twelve noon, telling her long time friend Soren that she couldn’t hang with him because “her mom was mad at her and won’t let her go out”.

“It’s all good” he texted back.

Kaileia sighed. The only thing she could do was go to the beach, walk her dogs, go to the gym or wish she was as happy as she saw her friends were on instagram. Until her family vacation to California that was to happen in two weeks from now, passing time would be a burden. Deciding she’d soak in a bit of the Hawaii sun before coming back to her room only to be on her phone some more and possibly make some art, she peeled herself off the bed, prepared herself for the day and took her dogs out for a walk.

Besides the stressful pull of the leash her Border Collie– Athena– provided every time she saw another dog, these walks were always peaceful and provided much headspace. Hawaii was a beautiful combination for magnificent islands and Kauai was no exception. The humidity was just right, the sun was warm enough, the waters were usually friendly just as the people were. With so much headspace, her thoughts had everywhere to go.

“The population of Native Hawaiians are going dangerously low—I’m really no exception. I’m not even full Hawaiian. Poi donuts sound great right now. How are my sister and her boyfriend going to handle a long distance relationship? I wonder if if Kai actually likes football. Does he have a girlfriend? Whoever gets my little brother will be so lucky. I wonder if Keiki is doing okay in middle school. Mom has work tonight. Having two jobs and four kids is so stressful. Let’s not forget that Dad is going to school too— for the sole purpose of making money. The military pays him for it.

I wonder what Mark saw in Jennika that he didn’t see in me.

Her expression clouded, not wanting to remember him. They ended on a good note, but upon seeing that he decided to pursue a relationship with her and not him, it hurt her pride. A lot.

Snapping out of it and watching her two dogs happily walking along the beach, tongues out and frolicking about, she smiled. “These two have my whole heart” She thought.

What if life was different? If I had friends who texted me more than once in a blue moon. If I wasn’t on instagram all the time and I was actually out in the world. If I actually had people to shop with— okay maybe not that one. Shopping with other people around is distracting. But still, I wish I was closer with people.

Life right now was lonely for her. Soren’s invitation was one he sent for the first time in 2 months. Not that it’s his fault. She’d turn down his last one because she was too heartbroken by Mark to see anybody.

Nearing halfway through her route, she whipped out her phone to put on Pokémon Go! After all, it’d be a waste to pass all these pokestops even if she wasn’t planning on catching anything at the moment.

It was 1 p.m. and she was back from the walk. The sound of two little girls and a baby filled the house as they ran around pretending to be Elsa and Aurora in their pink and blue dresses.

She took out a mug and began to steep white tea. After a few minutes of this, she boiled 2 eggs, ate a banana, and made toast to put peanut butter on later.

“Going to the gym later?”, her mom, Mahealani questioned, holding the baby on her hip. She ran an at-home day care while working at a restaurant after 5p.m.

Kaileia cast an annoyed look for a quick second before muttering a “yeah”.

Ever since the emotional conversation to her mom about not wanting to pursue college, her mom made sure she knew that the military would be secure, and that she had to go as soon as possible in order to retire early. Mahea wanted the best for her daughter. The idea was always in her air, but Kaileia wanted to try out college first.

3p.m. Go to the gym because mom told you to

4p.m. Just a few more sets and we’ll go home.

Text from: Miko

Hey do you wanna go to Na Pali later? CJ and Li are coming too

Kaileia smiled, she loved that coast and the fish she could swim with that were within 4 feet high of the ocean

Text to: Miko

I’m down what time tho?

Text from: Miko

We’re gonna go at like 6 do u need a ride

Text to: Miko

yeeeee

5p.m.

”Should I take a shower? I just worked out but I’m gonna go in the ocean,” Kaileia asked Miko over the phone

“Just dont wash your hair I guess honestly I dont know,” Miko replied

“Bitch what if I infect the ocean,” Kaileia jokingly exclaimed

“Bitch, I don’t know! The fish will die I guess!” Miko laughed.

“Amazing,” Kaileia deadpanned.

“Oh and Li’s not coming anymore,” Miko mentioned

“Why?”

“I don’t know I think him and his mans are gonna do crackhead things,”

“I’m surprised,” Kaileia said sarcastically

“Same,” Miko said

7p.m.

Kaileia, CJ, and Miko walked in their swimsuits and towels along the coast, finding their usual spot before running right in. The two girls hair flowing behind them in the wind while CJ’s curls bounced with him.

8p.m.

The trio finally walked out of the water, feeling as if gravity was pulling them harder than usual.

Sitting on the towels, Kaileia suddenly asked, “Do you guys ever wish life was different?”

“Shit is it sad girl hours already?” CJ asked, earning a short chuckle from Miko.

“I honestly don’t even know like— the ocean has me feeling some type of way,” Kaileia explained.

“I wish I didnt have a nicotine addiction,” CJ suddenly joked, while taking a hit from his vape. The girls both laughed. “I don’t wanna be gay no more this shit making me stupid I swear” they laughed even harder at his half-assed excuses.

“Shut up hoe you love being gay,” Miko swatted him while taking a hit

“You right though,” he aknowledged

“You guys radiate crackhead energy like 24/7,” Kaileia said

And it was true. Out of the four— Li being absent— Kaileia was the most “normal” one. Not to say she wasn’t as crazy as them, she just was normal at more times than they were.

The rest of the night was filled with vine references, creating tik tocs on the beach, and taking “Hot Girl Summer” beach photos. Though it was dark, Kaileia decided to go for one last swim, taking Miko with her. CJ stayed behind to enjoy the night time coast while the girls ran in. Kaileia ran faster, underestimating the tide as she was already in 4feet deep and still being pulled in as she was deeper now and the wave aggressively towering over her at 7 feet. Stunned, she held her breath and braced herself.

“Kai!” Miko yelled, panicked

The only thing Kaileia heard after that was the gargling sounds of the unforgiving ocean before everything went black.

Tag list : @sunflowerspectre

Heres the first chapter! Before jumping into the Twilight world, I kinda wanted you guys to know the character a little bit. Thank you for reading! Likes, Reblogs, Suggestions / Recommendations & Critiques are appreciated!!