#and his relationship with Sam in Brave New World is ADORABLE

[thefuzzzz]

Marvel Rivals and the new Captain America movie have me feeling so nostalgic for Stucky 😭 might write something for them eventually or revamp an old fic from my wattpad days

[wannabespacesmuggler]

PLATONIC ➵ S. WILSON

Masterlist | Buy me a coffee

Summary: Bucky has no idea how two people who have known each other for two decades can be so blind to their feelings for one another. At first, it was somewhat comical, the two of you dancing around your obvious attraction for one another, but Bucky has grown tired of pretending that your relationship is strictly platonic.

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Reader

Warnings: FLUFF (some angst if you squint), mutual pining, mentions of Riley (CA:TWS), Bucky meddling in your relationship, mentions of the Blip, alcohol consumption, Reader and Sam being two oblivious idiots in love, no use of y/n

Word Count: 3.8k

Song Inspo: "Platonic" by Ryan Hurd

Author’s Note: So, I saw Brave New World in February and haven't been able to stop thinking about Sam Wilson since. The x Reader tag for my boy is absolutely lacking so I decided to write something for my cap. Hope you guys enjoy some good ole Sam Wilson fluff. Let me know what you guys think and if you have any Sam Wilson x Reader recs on tumblr. Please, I'm desperate.

“You know you could just ask him out, right?”

You choke down your beer, nearly spitting it out as Bucky speaks up beside you. The two of you have been quietly sitting shoulder-to-shoulder at the shitty, hole-in-the-wall Irish pub that Sam insists on frequenting whenever all three of you are in D.C. at the same time. The little tradition had started as a coping mechanism after the three of you were blipped back into existence. You remember Sam begging you to accompany him to O’Malley’s the first time. And you remember sitting between your best friend and Bucky Barnes — it looked almost comical, an ex-Hydra assassin, a former Air Force pilot, and the newly named Captain America drinking a beer together. At first, you thought that Sam had asked you to come as a way to get you out of your house after everything that happened, but as the three of you sat in uncomfortable silence together, you realized that Sam brought you as a buffer. In all the years you’ve known the charismatic Sam Wilson, you never met someone he couldn’t talk to.

And then you met James Buchanan Barnes. 

Unlike Sam, you quickly fell into a cordial friendship with Bucky once you broke the ice. He’s both headstrong and cocky but also observant and aloof. People who meet him in passing might comment on how quiet he is, but you know he’s incredibly opinionated — hell, you made the mistake of commenting about baseball during your trio’s second outing together and had to listen to the man complain about the Brooklyn Dodgers moving to LA for a good thirty minutes. But what really bonded you with Bucky was Sam. You know that when Bucky looks at Sam, he sees what Steve saw in him — the man that Captain America decided was worthy of his mantle. 

He reminds you of Riley in many ways, and that’s why Sam had a more challenging time getting on board with the three of you hanging out together at first. Because for so long, it was just you, Sam, and Riley. You met Sam at boot camp, and then you met Riley shortly after. The three of you ran pararescue missions together — Sam and Riley clad in Exo-7 flight suits while you manned the C-130, which, thanks to a big government contract with Stark Industries, integrated cloaking systems and environmental blending. Then, on a routine mission, Riley got shot out of the sky, and suddenly it was just you and Sam. Sam became a PTSD veteran counselor, you got a piloting job with SHIELD stationed in D.C. to stay close to him, and then the two of you became regulars at O’Malley’s due to its proximity to both of your apartments. A part of Sam was afraid that he was replacing Riley by inviting Bucky into the space you share with him, but he had made a promise to Steve before he’d gone back in time with the infinity stones. And slowly but surely, the two became close friends, bonding over shared military stories, their musical tastes, and their deep respect and adoration for you. 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Bucky scoffs at your question before taking another swig of his beer. He knows you’re playing dumb — the two of you have been participating in this same song and dance for the better part of a year now. Two months into regularly drinking with Sam and Bucky at O’Malley’s, you drunkenly confessed to Bucky that you harbor feelings for your best friend. He pretended to be shocked, but he knew about your little secret after first meeting with you and Sam. Bucky may be a tad out of touch with new social norms — the man hasn’t participated in the dating scene since the 1940s — but the act of pining hasn’t changed over the decades that have passed. 

“We’re just going to pretend you haven’t been brooding all night after Sam got whisked away by those girls?”

You roll your eyes at Bucky’s question. The annoyance weaved into your expression doesn’t come from a place of malice but instead draws from your frustration at how well Bucky understands you. Sam will always be your best friend, but Bucky has become something like a brother to you over the past year — an empty role in your life since Riley passed away. And after all, Bucky is an older brother — a protector — at his core. He may have lost his little sister a lifetime ago, but the instincts were still there, buried deep down until you and Sam showed up in his life.

“Brooding is your thing, Buck.”

“Exactly. So, can you stop stepping on my shoes?”

A smile tugs at your lips as Bucky playfully nudges you with his elbow. You know he’s trying to lighten the mood, and his humor has made you feel a little lighter; however, there’s still a gnawing in the pit of your stomach as you watch one of the girls slowly slide their hand down Sam’s arm. Bucky follows your gaze and lets out a tired sigh.

“Seriously, kid. What’s stopping you from just asking him out?”

“He’s my best friend, Buck.”

Bucky arches a brow at your reasoning. You say it as if it’s the answer to all of your heartache — as if it’s a valid excuse to hold yourself back from happiness. He has no idea how two people who have known each other for two decades can be so blind to their feelings for one another. At first, it was somewhat comical, the two of you dancing around your obvious attraction for one another, but Bucky has grown tired of pretending that your relationship is strictly platonic. He’s been trying to intervene, but whenever you think about confessing your feelings to Sam, you immediately talk yourself out of it. And Sam isn’t any better. Bucky’s tried to talk some sense into him at least a dozen times, but he’s sure you don’t feel the same way about him.

“I could always set you up with one of my friends.”

“I’m fairly certain you only have two friends, and they’re currently at this bar, Buck.”

Bucky rolls his eyes as he finishes his beer. 

“Believe it or not, I do have a life outside of you and Sam.”

He places the empty bottle on the counter along with a five-dollar bill before layering his leather jacket over his long-sleeve t-shirt. It’s a mild spring day, but you know he doesn’t wear the extra layers for warmth. They’re worn for the same reason as his leather gloves — security that his shiny, metal arm is covered. Bucky spares Sam one last glance before turning his attention back to you. You’re nursing the beer in your hand, simply waiting for Sam to notice you again. He gently grabs your shoulder with his good hand, and Bucky’s heart breaks in his chest as you look up at him with sad eyes.

“Just think about it, okay?”

You nod at his question, and Bucky releases his hold before heading home for the night. With a sigh, you finish your lukewarm beer and order another while waiting patiently for your best friend. Sam Wilson has always been the life of the party — the man who shines like a ray of sunlight even on the darkest days. But the Captain America mantle came with a newfound attention that Sam seems to revel in. You, however, find yourself struggling with it — it had been just the two of you for so long, and now you feel like you’re sharing him with all of America. 

But little do you know that even now, with the entire bar vying for his attention, Sam feels drawn to you like some invisible string is pulling him back. His eyes scan the crowd at O’Malley’s until they find you. He gives you a bright, genuine smile — the kind that leaves you grinning from ear to ear. You watch as he excuses himself from the lively conversation and approaches you. He slides into the seat beside you, shoulder bumping against yours as he leans into your space to grab the beer in front of you. You shoot him a playful glare as he takes a drink out of your beer bottle, and he winks at you in response. He places the bottle back in front of you before speaking.

“Bucky already left?”

“You know the old man — has to be home before bedtime.”

Sam laughs while throwing an arm back across your chair. You don’t even think twice about the action; Sam’s done it at least a thousand times at this point.

“Are you ready to get out of here?”

You give him an eager nod, desperate to get some fresh air. Sam laughs at your reaction before paying both of your tabs. Like in the bar, you don’t think twice as Sam slings his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side as you walk down the streets of the nation’s capital. Not even as he walks up the five flights of stairs with you to your apartment, unlocking the door with the key you gave him ages ago. Not even as he moves through your apartment as if it were his, opening your fridge to grab two beers and rifling through your junk drawer to find the bottle opener he knows is in there. Not even as Sam falls asleep on your couch again after a night of talking for hours. You don’t think twice because this is how it’s always been between you and Sam — it’s always been comfortable, domestic. 

But, for some reason, tonight is different. As you sit on your kitchen counter, finishing your beer, Sam’s loud snores from your living room are drowned out by Bucky’s words from earlier this evening ringing in your ears. This is what your life has always looked like, but is this all it will be — waiting for your slice of Sam’s increasingly divided time? You’re happy for him. Truly. Sam deserves everything that the mantle of Captain America comes with — the attention, the popularity, the spotlight. You’re overjoyed that the world is finally seeing what you’ve seen in Sam all along, but a small part of you is jealous. And that jealousy is starting to eat you alive. 

You sigh, downing the last of your beer before sliding your phone out of your pocket. Scrolling through your contacts, you find Bucky’s name. You listen to the phone ring twice before Bucky answers your call. Concern is evident in his voice as he says your name. You rarely call him this late, but you know you’d talk yourself out of this in the morning. 

“I’ll do it, Buck. Set up the date.”

“It’s about time, kid.”

You spend the rest of your agonizingly slow week second-guessing that phone call. Hell, you almost call Bucky at least a dozen times to cancel the date altogether — to simply state that Bucky’s advice is ridiculous and you’re perfectly fine with your current situation. But, ultimately, you decide this is for the best. If your goal is to get over your absurd crush on Sam Wilson, then you actually need to start working on it. So, even though you’ve managed to worry yourself sick on Friday, you still manage to get yourself ready that evening and leave your apartment. A small smile pulls at your lips as you stand outside the address Bucky texted you several days prior. You’re thankful he chose a casual ramen spot for the blind date. It makes the whole experience a little less high stakes — like you could leave at any time with limited consequences. 

With an exasperated sigh, you finally bite the bullet and pull open the door to the small establishment. The bell above you rings, and you’re greeted by a friendly man behind the counter, telling you to sit wherever you want. You turn towards the quaint dining room and, to your surprise, see a familiar figure sitting at one of the tables. Sam Wilson looks just as surprised as you feel. Your feet move on their own accord as you approach your best friend. He looks nice — clad in a maroon polo and his nicest pair of jeans. 

“What are you doing here, Sam?”

You found it strange that you never received your weekly text from Sam asking you about your Friday night plans. But you concluded that either Bucky told him about your blind date or Sam planned a date for that evening as well. But this was an outcome you never expected.

“Bucky set me up on a blind date with one of his friends.”

Your brow furrows at Sam’s confession.

“Bucky set me up on a blind date with one of his friends.”

Sam looks at you as if you’re speaking a different language, and embarrassment washes over you as you realize that you’re right: Bucky Barnes only has two friends, and they’re currently looking at each other stupidly in a family-owned Ramen joint. Anger rushes through your veins as the realization sets in, but Sam still looks dumbfounded.

“So, Bucky set us up on a date.”

“Oh.”

You wait for him to continue, but he just sits at his empty table, at a loss for words. Usually, the silence between the two of you is comfortable; however, right now, it's excruciating. You suddenly feel about two inches tall as you stand before Sam. As the room gets twenty degrees warmer and the walls begin closing in, you decide it’s probably best if you get out of here. 

“This was a stupid idea.”

You turn away from Sam, but before you can take a step towards the door, he grabs your hand. The contact causes you to look back at your best friend, whose gaze is surprisingly tender. Your body relaxes ever so slightly, and, against your better judgment, your hand tightens around his. 

“It doesn’t have to be.”

His tone is genuine, but there’s still that voice in the back of your head gnawing at you. There’s no way that your best friend suddenly wants to go on a date with you. That shit doesn’t happen in real life. This isn’t a movie — he hasn’t been waiting almost two decades for this exact moment to express his feelings for you. You keep your expectations low because although Sam is a superhero, this isn’t a fairytale. Still, you let him gently tug your body into the seat across from him. 

“You don’t have to do this, Sam.”

Sam’s brow furrows, and a look of genuine confusion washes over his features. He studies you for a moment before speaking. 

“You think I don’t want to go on a date with you?”

You roll your eyes at his question. This whole conversation is ridiculous, and it’s beginning to feel like Sam and Bucky are pulling a practical joke on you right now. But Sam looks at you expectantly, waiting for your answer, so you play along even though you aren’t happy about it.

“C’mon, Sam.”

Sam simply arches a brow at you with a bewildered expression, and for a moment, your resolve falters. What if this is real? What if this isn’t some stupid joke between Sam and Bucky? What’s the harm in just letting this moment play out? With a sigh, you look up at Sam, who is still studying your features. 

“Sam, I’m pretty certain that if you were interested in me at any point in the last twenty years, you’d have asked me out by now.”

Sam huffs out a laugh at this, and suddenly, he looks embarrassed. This reaction confuses you. Sam is a confident man — he’s rarely self-conscious about himself or his decisions. 

“Yeah, about that…”

Your heart lurches in your chest as he trails off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he tries to find the right words. And as he meets your eyes, there’s an emotion in his gaze that you can’t quite place. 

“What is it, Sam?”

Sam sighs before speaking.

“This isn’t just platonic for me.”

Suddenly, your world comes to a screeching halt. This feels like an out-of-body experience — like some sort of dream — and you’re pretty sure if you pinched yourself right now, you’d wake up alone in your apartment. But that doesn’t happen. You’re really here with Sam, having this conversation.

“How long have you felt like that?”

Sam looks away from you as he thinks for a moment, wanting to give you an accurate answer.

“After we helped Steve with Hydra in D.C., seeing you in the hospital put things into perspective.”

You were working as a SHIELD pilot for almost two years when Sam went missing with SHIELD’s two most wanted fugitives: Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff. Because of this, it didn’t take much convincing for you to ignore your orders and help Steve stop the launch of the helicarriers. Bucky, acting as the Winter Soldier at the time, had taken out most of SHIELD’s air support; however, you and a group of four other pilots managed to get your birds into the air. Although the stakes were high, a part of you felt like it was old times — watching Sam soar through the air in his Exo-7 flight suit from the cockpit of your F-35 Lightning II. The fight was going well until Bucky nailed your left wing with a large piece of debris, causing you to go into a downward tailspin. You attempted to stabilize your aircraft but ran out of time. So, you decided to pull your parachute, but to your horror, the cord was stuck. Sam, grounded due to his broken wings, watched helplessly as your fighter slammed into the Potomac River. You were found by search and rescue after the helicarriers were destroyed and woke up in a hospital bed three days later. Recovery was agonizingly slow, but Sam never left your side — except to check on Steve every so often in the room next to yours. The memory brings a small, sad smile to your face.

“That was ten years ago, Sam. What stopped you from telling me?”

“Other than everything that happened after that? You’re my best friend — I didn’t want to risk that.”

You suppose he’s right. There was rarely a moment of downtime after you recovered from your fall into the Potomac River. The two of you immediately threw yourselves into helping Steve track down Bucky, and just two years later, all four of you were wanted fugitives due to the Sokovia Accords. Between the years you spent living on the run and the years you lost to the blip, there was rarely a quiet moment until Thanos was finally defeated — until now. 

“For me, it was after Riley.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up at your confession, obviously not expecting for you to have fallen first. But, despite his excitement at this revelation, he stays quiet, letting you continue if you want.

“After losing him, I couldn’t help imagining it being you who got shot down that day. The idea haunted me in my nightmares, and I realized that if I lost you, it would be a different kind of grief.” 

Sam’s face softens, and he reaches across the table for your hand. He wraps his hand tightly around yours, grounding you back into this moment before speaking.

“You never have to worry about losing me.”

You scoff at his words, giving him an incredulous look.

“You’re Captain America, Sam. Running head first into danger is your job.”

“Okay, fair. But I have a very compelling reason to stay alive.”

You laugh, attempting to cover up how flustered you feel due to Sam’s words. It doesn’t work. Sam smiles as he notices the effect his words have on you. He could get used to this — flirting with you until you’re bright red and stumbling over your words. It’s undeniably cute, and he can’t believe it’s taken him this long to do it. 

After your emotionally charged conversation, you both need something to eat. The two of you both order ramen, and Sam doesn’t let go of your hand until two bowls are set down on the table. You enjoy your meal while Sam occasionally nudges his knee playfully into yours under the table before offering you a flirtatious smile. The conversation that flows between you doesn’t feel forced or uncomfortable — it feels both familiar and somehow brand new. The two of you had been navigating the grey area between romantic and platonic for so long that it feels almost liberating to look at Sam and know his true intentions. 

After Sam pays the bill, giving the establishment's owner a generous tip, the two of you fall into step with one another as you walk toward your apartment. The walk isn’t drastically different from the thousands you’ve taken before. Sam still slings his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side — except this time, you move your hand up and intertwine your fingers. He still walks up the stairs with you to your apartment, unlocking the door with the key you gave him ages again — except this time, he leads you by the hand up all five flights. And he still moves through your apartment as if it were his, opening your fridge to grab two beers and rifling through your junk drawer to find the bottle opener he knows is in there — except this time, as he places the beers behind you, he doesn’t move away. Instead, he keeps his hands on the counter, one on either side of your body, caging you in. His expression is soft, illuminated by the lone fluorescent light in your small kitchen. And there’s an adoration in his gaze that makes you feel lighter than air.

Steve’s words, from what feels like a lifetime ago, ring in your ears as you look up at Sam Wilson, who stands just a breath away: "As the world's expert on waiting too long, don't."

Tired of waiting, you grab Sam by the front of his polo and pull him into you, locking your lips with his as your chests bump into each other. It’s not a picture-perfect kiss; it’s a little sloppy and frantic, but it’s the type that makes up for the twenty years you spent dancing around your feelings for one another. Eventually, you break away from each other. Sam rests his forehead against yours, and the brightest smile you’ve ever seen graces his face — the man looks like sunshine incarnate as he studies your features.

“I should have done that ten years ago.”

The laugh that escapes you is melodic — a goddamn symphony to Sam’s ears. And he can’t help but kiss you again. And again. And again. In an attempt to make up for lost time and to prove to you, this was never just platonic. 

[executivenerd]

My Captain America: Brave New World Initial Thoughts!

Man, leaving Captain America I have so many feelings and thoughts, most of them ehhhh not great, but for all of my issues with the plot, red hulk, and Harrison Ford as Ross, The main characters and heros fucking killed it.

Like Anthony Mackie is so charming and spectacular, and I have basically no notes on his portrayal of Sam. I adore him with my whole heart, and Dany Ramirez and Carl Lumbly were equally fantastic.

Also, it may have been short, the Sambucky scene was *chef kiss*. No divorce era, no back sliding, just two people that have continued growing and building their relationship (romantic or not, still great). Honestly the fact that Bucky's not with him, not his partner, speaks more volumes to how close they are because they can't even use work as an excuse.

All in all, I don't particularly feel more confident about the direction the MCU is heading, but at least we are being kept fed. Here's hoping Thunderbolts* changes my mind, while giving us even more Sambucky.

[girl-next-door-writes]

Waiting For A Love Like This

Characters: Sam Winchester x reader

Summary: Sam has been in love with his best friend for so long that loving them is like breathing. He has successfully kept the depth of his feelings hidden, but there’s only so long you can hold back those three words before they find a way to escape.

Word Count: 1547 words

Prompt: Fluff. Best friends. Kiss without thinking. Sharing clothes. Blurted out confession.

A/N: @princessmisery666 and @witchygagirl both hit me up with similar prompts for this one, so I squished them together to create this fluff for you.

“I love you.”

The world stood still, time stopped and now those words were out of his mouth Sam wished he could have just swallowed them down, like every other time they had nearly escaped him. Holding his breath, his wide eyes, filled with panic, met yours.

He watched as you tried to figure out if he had really just thrown that grenade into your friendship, if he had really been stupid enough to actually confess his feelings and ruin a relationship that had become so important to both of you over the years. He took in the tremble of your lip as your mouth opened slightly, no words forthcoming. He took in the slight furrow of your brow, one which he knew from experience indicated a high level of confusion. He took in the way you just stood there, staring at him, and although his lungs burned for him to take a breath, he had simply forgotten how.

He should have just kept his feelings for you to himself instead of blurting them out, but now it was too late.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t been in love with you for years, hiding his adoration for fear of losing you. Sam hadn’t realised he’d fallen for you at first. You had slipped into his life so easily, seemed like you had always been right there, and your friendship was important to him. You were his best friend. He could vent to you in ways he couldn’t with Dean, but he didn’t like to be weak in front of you, wanted you to think he was brave and could protect you, not that you needed it.

The first time he had really opened up to you had been after a particularly traumatic hunt. A hunt that had you all driving in silence for the long hours of the night, nobody sleeping as the images of dead children played any time your eyes closed. As soon as you got to the bunker, he was out of the Impala, grabbing his bag and disappearing at a rate only those ridiculously long legs could manage.

You had found him though, sitting on the bathroom floor, knees pulled up to his chest as he silently sobbed. He hated that you saw him like this; hated that he didn’t want you to leave. Sam felt you settle down beside him on the cold tiles, felt your hand come to rest on his back, stroking soft small circles against the flannel as your own tears fell.

When he had gathered himself together enough to stop crying, he sat up, resting his head back against the wall as his eyes scrunched closed. He felt you shift then, and part of him wanted to reach for you, to keep you with him. Sam heard your footsteps walk out of the room and he cursed himself for being so pathetic, for being so weak. So deep in this spiral of regret and grief, he didn’t register your return, until you were crouched in front of him, something clutched in your hands.

“You’re shivering.” You said softly. “Take off that shirt and put this on.”

Sam looked at the soft grey material you held out to him. It was a hoodie he had leant you a while ago, and had been fairly certain would never be returned to him. Without a word, he removed his shirt and pulled on the hoodie.

The first thing that hit him was the way the fabric smelled of you. It was gentle and reassuring, a comfort which combined with the warmth to make him feel as if he was wrapped in you. As his head emerged from the confines of this new comfort cocoon, he was greeted with the sight of you shrugging on his discarded shirt, an image that would be seared into his memory. There was just something about seeing you wearing his clothes, and that was when he realised that this was so much more than friendship on his part. He liked the idea of you being his. The pain of the hunt now receded, the anxiety of his new discovery dwarfing it so easily. He was in love with his best friend. He was in love with you, and he could never tell you!

The problem was, now he knew what he was feeling, it was like those three words fought to get out, to be heard and acknowledged. Lay in a motel bed, Sam rested an arm behind his head as he closed his eyes and smiled to himself. He could hear the soft clanking of the pipes as lukewarm water made their way to the slightly rusty showerhead. He could hear the soft pattering of water against the flimsy shower curtain. He could hear you singing to yourself, and that was enough to put a goofy smile on his face. It was all too easy to imagine you in there, shampoo in your hair as you put on a dramatic rendition of your favourite ‘go-to’ shower songs. Not that Sam was thinking about you being naked in there! Fuck. Now he was thinking about you being naked in there, and that brought a heat to his cheeks he was unprepared for.

“What’s up with you?” Dean asked as he wandered into the room, arms clutching paper bags filled with whatever he’d managed to find for breakfast.

Those words had nearly escaped him, he had been so close to simply saying to his big brother, ‘I’m in love’. Instead, Sam ended up having a coughing fit as he scrambled to get out of bed and put all thoughts of you and showers out of his mind.

Dean wasn’t the only person he nearly confessed to. The two of you had been researching in the library, a comfortable quiet, broken only by the turning of pages and the occasional sigh of frustration. Due to the lack of windows in the bunker, time seemed to hold no meaning and Sam could not say for certain, without checking his watch, just how long you had been at this. What he did know, was that you’d reached your limit.

Putting his book down, he stretched his arms over his head and rolled his shoulders. Looking over to you, he had intended to ask if you’d found anything, only to find you had fallen asleep. Your arms were folded over your book, and your head rested on them. Your hair was messy, and he wasn’t entirely certain, but it was possible you were drooling slightly. A soft smile played on his lips as he found himself just watching you sleep. You looked so peaceful, and Sam longed to be able to watch you sleep every night.

“Have you found what you were looking for?” Cas asked, breaking Sam from his revery.

Again, those words were on the tip of his tongue, but he fought them back. He knew if they made it out into the world that he was done for, that he would be made to tell you and then there would be no more of these moments. Instead, he simply said ‘no’, then got to his feet and began putting books away.  

Things had been going so well. Sam had managed to hold back his confession and the two of you were closer than ever, then that damned demon had taken him down.

Another motel, another bathroom, another patch up job. He had sat dutifully on the side of the bath as you bathed the cuts on his shoulders and the one on his forehead, as well as his burst lip. He tried not to think about how close you were stood, about how gentle your touch was, how warm your breath felt against his bare skin. His fingers itched to rest on your hips, to pull you closer, to feel you pressed against him, so he gripped the edge of the bath a little tighter, an action you mistook for pain.

“There, all done.” You said softly, leaning forward and placing a kiss to his forehead and then to his sore lip. Both kisses were brief, fleeting, done without thought. You had simply been ‘kissing him better’, but the small action had caused his brain to short circuit.

“I love you.”

Sam hadn’t been certain he’d said it out loud for a fraction of a second, and then his world collapsed in on itself as he tried to read your reaction. This was it. You would probably be polite about things, pull away from him slowly before disappearing from his life and becoming just a memory.

“I love you too.” Your words were whispered, and it wasn’t until he felt your fingers running through his hair that he allowed himself to believe this was real.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The two of you just looked at each other for a while before smiles spread across your faces and laughter erupted, eradicating the tension that had once been so thick.

“Wait, you know that I mean I love you in a romantic way, right? Not in a ‘friend’ way.”

“Yeah, Sammy, I got that.”

“Good.” His hands found their way to your hips, and he pulled you close, gazing at you in pure adoration. Maybe he should have told you sooner.

[ao3feed-sambucky]

Southern Surrender

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/eOR6m5o by Jmarvel24 **Set after the events of Haunted** Bucky Barnes is finally moving on with his life. He's a successful congressman. He's dating Sam Wilson, Captain America, and falling deeply in love. He finally has a family to call his own that that love and support him. He's FINALLY beginning to move past the trauma and torture of past events, beginning to relax and enjoy the life he's worked so hard for. But when a trip to visit Yelena in a rural town in North Carolina goes sideways and reveals hidden secrets that Bucky has kept buried, everything begins to come crashing down around him. Will the gang be able to pull Bucky back from what's to come? Or is this time really the end of everything he's worked so desperately for? Will he lose everything and everyone when the truth is revealed? Words: 5943, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Series: Part 2 of The Haunted Chronicles Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Captain America (Anthony Mackie Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Joaquín Torres (Marvel), Yelena Belova Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Joaquín Torres & Sam Wilson, Joaquín Torres & Sam Wilson (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes & Yelena Belova & Joaquín Torres & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Joaquín Torres, James "Bucky" Barnes & Yelena Belova, Yelena Belova & Joaquín Torres Additional Tags: Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, POV Sam Wilson (Marvel), Established Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson Loves Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson as Captain America (Marvel), Bucky Barnes Loves Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson Fluff, Caring Sam Wilson (Marvel), Sam Wilson Takes Care of Bucky Barnes, Hurt Sam Wilson (Marvel), Bucky Barnes Takes Care of Sam Wilson, Domestic Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson Bickering, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Protective Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Feels, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Bottom Bucky Barnes, POV Bucky Barnes, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Traumatized Bucky Barnes, BAMF Yelena Belova, BAMF Bucky Barnes, BAMF Sam Wilson (Marvel), Joaquín Torres as the Falcon (Marvel), Adorable Joaquín Torres (Marvel), Joaquín Torres is So Done, Joaquín Torres & Sam Wilson Friendship (Marvel), Bucky Barnes & Joaquín Torres Friendship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Angst and Romance, Romance, Action & Romance, Porn with Feelings, Angst and Porn, Drowning, Torture, Implied/Referenced Torture, Past Torture, Post-Movie: Captain America: Brave New World (2025), Movie: Captain America: Brave New World (2025), Drama, Idiots in Love, Shameless Smut read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/eOR6m5o

[bowdre]

Fury OC

Character used in Fury Fanfic, posted on Wattpad.

ꜰᴜʀʏ - Sam - Wattpad

i. Basics

•Name•

Natalia Jordie Travis

•Nickname•

Dove

•Age•

During African Campaign> 19. In 1945> 22

•Birthday•

June 19th, 1923

•Gender•

Female

•Sexuality•

Straight

•Zodiac•

Gemini

•Height•

5'4"

•Occupation•

M6 Heavy Tank Assistant Gunner

ii.Relationship Status

Courtship with Don since 1943.

At first, Don wasn't too thrilled about having a young female in his crew. His standards were low, though Natalia proved herself, just like she always does. Their friendship soon turned into a relationship when they become increasingly physical, and eventually became wordlessly committed to each other. The man is significantly older than Natalia, but neither of them never cared about that. Grady never paid any mind to his sergeant being soft on his sister. Before Don's death, he promised to go back to America with Natalia and make her his wife.

iii. Appearance

(Liana Liberato)

•Hair colour•

Light brunette

•Hair length•

Midback

•Eye colour•

Golden brown

•Skin tone•

Honey

iv. Personality

•Good traits•

Ambitious, persistent, loyal, athletic, protective

•Bad traits•

Impatient, greedy

•Strengths•

 Brave, charismatic

•Weaknesses•

Lacks empathy

•Like•

Hot meals, clean clothes, black coffee 

•Dislikes•

Nazis

•Habits•

Picking at scabs when anxious

•Talents/skills•

Use of a firearm/military equipment, reading people's emotions

v. Relationships

•Mother•

Morgan Travis

•Father•

Ray Travis

•Siblings•

Gary (Grady) Travis

•Friends•

Don (War Daddy) Collier, Boyd (Bible) Swan, Trini (Gordo) Garcia, Red, Norman (Machine) Ellison, Roy Davis, Warren Peterson

•Close friends•

Pete Binkowski

vi. Backstory

Natalia was born into a family with a work-a-holic father and depressive mother. The girl, along with her older brother, were borderline neglected during their childhood. Natalia herself was never physically harmed, though she was a witness to her father abusing her brother on the daily. The siblings always had a close bond, so much so, Natalia followed Gary into war like a lost puppy.

 Natalia adored her brother, she wanted to be just like him. He was her protector, her best friend, not a day went by when they weren't together. There was no way in hell she was allowing her brother to go off to war without her. Now, it was both their duties to protect each other.

•Military Rank•

Private First Class

•Medals•

Africa Star, Silver Star, Bronze Star, World War II Victory Medal, Purple Heart

•Wounded•

Natalia was wounded by a Nazi soldier at the crossroads. She emerged from the tank into the smoky atmosphere and failed to see the Nazi directly in front of her. She was shot in the right shoulder, and probably would have died if Norman didn't stop the bleeding.

•Death of the Crew•

Grady- Natalia's brother's death was sudden, and brutal. Almost instinctively her hands found their way to his face, cradling him in her arms. It took all of Gordo's might to pull her away.

Bible- Natalia turned to ask the preacher man for a new can, and what she got horrified her. His body lay lifeless, and all she could do was scream his name in agony as tears fell from her eyes.

Gordo- Natalia blamed herself for Trini's death. If she had been fast enough, if her reaction time was quicker, he may have had a chance at survival.

War Daddy- Natalia found herself trying to fix Don's bullet wounds before her own. She was prepared to sit with him until his last breath, but when he convinced her and Norman to escape, she kissed him goodbye before slipping down the hatch.

•TW:SUICIDE•

Dove- Natalia was rescued, alongside her friend Norman. She was pronounced a hero, and sent back home to America. She didn't manage much though, only 5 months after the fate of the Fury Crew, she committed suicide by the use of her own firearm. She left her dog tags on the kitchen table of her parents house as something to remember her by.

[believemetheodore]

Colour me pink

Ted Lasso x Reader

A pair of pink shoelaces become a catalyst for change in Rebecca's life. Or, Rebecca learns to be brave. (Because I can't stop thinking about the pink shoelaces™️)

Warnings: None (let me know if you want me to add something)

(Photo from @_erinmckenziee on Twitter)

Rebecca has always dreamed of being braver than she’s ever been able to be. Her mother had called her brave for leaving Rupert. Sassy and Nora had called her brave for paving the way as a female football club owner. But she can’t say she’s ever felt courageous or valiant for doing any of those things. Bold, sure. Daring, maybe. 

Keely has often called her a lion, praising her for taking charge and taking what she wants. But Rebecca has never felt brave where it truly counts. 

With their relationship hanging in the balance, she let Ted leave, an ocean between them now.  They’ve been walking the line between friendship and something more for so long. With weeks worth of stolen glances, intimate evenings, kisses and whispered promises she’d been too cowardly to allow to see the light of day, she’s let him leave.  

She’s always had a knack for this, building people up just to let them down, too frightened-- or too selfish, to see where things might go. But it hurts more this time. Ted’s always been patient and kind, to a fault at times. He said he’d wait as long as she needed for her to sort out her thoughts, and now she’s worried she might have him waiting forever, her heart and her mind fighting at every turn, each day bringing new anxieties. She’s holding a winning hand but is too afraid to make a bet. 

He left a week ago, flying home to spend time with Henry and visit his mum before his charity event. He’d laid his cards on the table and handed her his heart in earnest with nothing but a gentle smile and a twinkle in his eyes. He loves her. He’s loved her for ages and told her just that, sealing his words with a kiss. She kissed him back, hoping that, like all the times before, her actions might speak louder than her words ever could, praying that his touch might silence her fears. 

She loves Ted. And more importantly, she loves him more than she ever thought it possible to love someone. She wants to be brave. All week she’s typed out text messages without pressing send, and let her thumb hover over the call button more times than she can count. She struggles to find the right words. What do you say to someone when I love you isn’t enough to encompass all you feel? How can three little words be enough when the other person deserves the world and then some? 

A year ago, she’d asked Sam to give her time to think. She liked him; he was lovely-- wonderful even, but she knew she’d never love him, not the way she wanted to be able to love someone anyway.  A part of her then always knew what she wanted to say. She had the words; she just didn’t want to say them. She knew from the get-go that what they had wouldn’t last. 

She’d been startled by his compassion, wooed by the excitement of it all and swept up by the feeling of being adored. She would’ve broken his heart, or worse, broken her own; by acting out a lie, forcing herself into a role, holding herself back, too afraid to hurt him. But breaking up with Sam wasn’t brave; it was decent. 

I hope all is well. Good luck tonight! xx

She settles on the phrasing, sending the text before she can overthink it. 

Got my good luck charms! The response comes quickly with a picture of his Nikes attached. It takes her a moment to figure out why those shoes might be so lucky. Pink laces, she realizes. The same pastel pink colour as the biscuit boxes he delivers to her each morning. Oh. 

She’d bought them as a gag gift before he left, not expecting him to ever use them, let alone like them. He’d invited her over to pick up her supply of biscuits to hold her over while he was gone, convincing her to stay for dinner and wine. She’d slipped the laces down the side of his folded clothes in his open suitcase, thinking he might not even notice the little pink double bow that had made its way into his luggage. In all honesty, she’d forgotten all about them. 

You found them. I take it you like them, then?

Love ‘em! They’re just what I’ve been needing. Thank you, Becca. 

I miss you. She lets herself confess. 

I miss you too. Lots. But now I feel like I’ve got a little bit of you here with me (I’m a lucky guy!) 

Good god, she’s not sure he could be more incredible if he tried. So effortlessly, he makes her feel special. Without trying, he sews up her wounds and worries. It’s impossible to feel like she’s too much when he loves just as much as she does. 

In all her years, she’d never thought shoelaces would be the catalyst for change in her life. For so long, she’s felt like she was bad at love. Too much, never enough, always afraid of being seen as silly. But never with Ted. Not when he accepts her love as eagerly as he gives his own.

It’s just past 8 pm in London. She doesn’t waste her time weighing pros and cons; instead, she makes herself a cup of tea in a travel mug, calling her driver for a ride to the airport. 

She doesn’t make it in time for the show, but with Coach Beard’s help, she manages to locate the hotel they’re staying in and tips back a gin and tonic while she waits.She’s grateful that Ted had booked the earliest flight back to London and cuts his night of celebrating short to try to get some sleep. 

He strolls in, crossing art deco marble floors, still wearing his pink-laced trainers. 

She leaves her glass at the bar with a generous tip, hurrying across the foyer, barely making it into the same elevator as him. 

“What floor?” He asks politely, and she can’t wipe the smile off her face, realizing he hasn’t noticed it’s her. 

“I’ll go where you go”. His confusion quickly turns to shock, his head snapping to look at her.  “Well, I’ll be,” he laughs, and she can’t help but do the same. 

He’s quick to press the button for his floor, his hand taking hers and tugging her close. “I was serious when I said I missed you,” she whispers. “Never doubted you for a second,” he says with a smile, light-hearted and playful, but they both know it’s the reassurance she needs. 

He squeezes her hand as the doors open, guiding her down the hall towards his room. The two of them are silent as he opens the door, and she sets down her overnight bag. 

When she turns around, the air in the room is heavy but not oppressive.  “I love you,” she breathes out, her eyes locked on his.  And he doesn’t leave her hanging, closing the space between them. “I love you, too”. Their grins not leaving their faces when their lips meet. 

Maybe she’s braver than she thinks, after all. 

[captainelliecomb]

WIP Wishlist Round Eight

WIP Wishlist time again! Round One, Round Two, Round Three, Round Four, Round Five, Round Six, Round Seven

How have I been doing this for eight months now? I’ll have to do another updated WIPs list soon.

The Blessings of the Old Gods and the New by libkat (14,832 words, last updated 08 Aug 2018)

Summary: Danaerys wants Jaime dead. Bran works some magic.

Things I love: Little Jaime and Brienne with their itty bitty direwolves stole my heart, Bran and his powers (“Do not think to threaten me in my own godswood” I love him), Sansa absolutely besotted with the children, Davos acting as the voice of reason as he does so well (Dany: I’m killing Jaime Lannister child or not. Sansa: You’d have to kill me first. Arya: I’d kill you first. Davos, poor man: No one is killing anyone. The “you murderous children” was left unspoken), the entire environment of Winterfell for these two adorable children.

Brave New World by suffolkgirl (114,962 words, last updated 29 Nov 2021, one chapter to go)

Am I cheating with this one? Yes, yes I am, unrepentantly. It’s almost finished, it will be finished, sometimes I just want a win. This story is an absolute win.

Summary: When his relationship with both his siblings implodes, Jaime Lannister decides to start a new life in a place where no-one knows him. But it may not be as easy to escape his past as he thinks...

Things I love: Sam, Jon, and Jaime’s friendship, this iteration of the Quiet Isle, the gaming gang, the slow burn between Jaime and Brienne, the Lannister nastiness and cruelty, a believable look at what it’s like to get sucked back into a toxic environment, the softness in Jaime he’s had to bury for so long, Jaime and Sansa’s friendship and bonding over surviving abuse.

Break the Shape We Take by classeyspanks (7,185 words, last updated 18 Nov 2021)

Summary: R'hllor gazed upon her Love, her pale fingers tracing the brow of the babe he held in his arms.“When the veil between the realms thins, she will be needed.”Her husband shifted the child’s weight, his lips whitening as he pressed them tightly together. “She didn’t ask for this. I… I just want her safe.”“She will have help.”Far away, in the depths of the Citadel, a single glass candle flickered to life for the first time in millennia.

Things I love: Intriguing worldbuilding, particularly around the Evenstar prophecy, Jaime needling at Brienne because he loves to see her eyes and her blush and to argue with her, something dangerous lurking in the trees and impaling deer on branches, Brienne brave and fearless when she’s doing what she’s been born to do and awkward and withdrawn otherwise, Jaime and Brienne teaming up.

This Broken Jaw of Our Lost Kingdoms by Vera (vera_dragonmuse) (8,257 words, last updated 22 Nov 2021)

Summary: Eight years ago, a fragile peace was forged in the heat of a bloody war. Now shifter tradition orders that all will come together to discuss law, treaties, and to try to accept what the world has become. Brienne just wants to see Sansa, the Wolf Queen of the North, there and back again safely. Fate has other plans.

Things I love: Interesting, engaging worldbuilding, how Sansa and Brienne work together, Brienne and Pod’s friendship across lines, shapeshifting, the sharp-edged history between Brienne and Jaime.

The Blue Knight vs The Kingslayer by seethemflying (104,654 words, last updated 20 Sep 2021)

Summary: "Brienne, 23.Office worker by day, superhero by night. Loves cats. No smokers please." By day, Brienne Tarth is a twenty-three year old cat lover who is slowly exploring the possibility of finding a nice boyfriend through online dating. By night, she is a superhero known as The Blue Knight, who is dedicated to bringing down her archnemesis, The Kingslayer...... who she definitely does NOT have a thing for.

Things I love: Brienne and Pod’s friendship and teamwork, the sheer silliness and threat of the Kingslayer, Imp, and Evil Queen, the Honor League, the sweetness and softness between Brienne and Jaime while their alteregos wage war on each other, how over-the-top and joyful and perfect this is as a comic book story.

[alicemitch09writes]

the babysitter

pairing: reader x peter parker

summary: Babysitting the little Stark is an adventure, of some sorts. Well, being a (adopted) Stark is an adventure in itself. However, nobody told Peter Parker about the Stark babysitter.

author’s notes: I love Morgan Stark. I would die for her. Kill for her. MURDER even, just to keep her safe. Also, I love how easy we can just make her and Peter come together because they’re Stark’s kids (one biological, one is a sort of surrogate). Also, this idea is a common trope but eh, what’s not to love about it? Had to tweak it a bit by making reader two years older. And yay, I finally got to finish this before its initial release date (which is on Valentine's haha sorry yes am cliche like that sue me).

also available on ao3.

disclaimer: i own NOTHING but the plot.

"Ah, shit."

"Shit!"

You froze, quickly turning on your heel to find a mass of brown hair and big brown doe-like eyes, filled with innocence and mischief all at once.

"Morgan! What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you," she replied easily, tilting her head to the side. "Mommy said she has something to say to you."

"Oh, really now?" releasing a breath - not really shaky but something sort of relief, frustration, and a little bit of nervousness, you kneel to her level, tucking strands of hair behind her ear. "How long have you been looking for me?"

"A few minutes. Maybe 30."

With a smile, you get up. "Well, best not keep her waiting!"

Morgan giggles, seeing through you. She was always too sharp for her age.

You smile with her, a painful tug at your heart when you see the twinkle in her eye - an all too familiar twinkle.

Swallowing the dread, you plaster a quick smile and get to your feet. "Come on now, munchkin!"

She willingly lets you take her in your arms, walking along the compound down to Mrs. Stark's office.

Your relationship with the infamous CEO of Stark Industries was that you’re her cousin's daughter, making her your aunt-in-law. And in the absence of said cousin - your father, as he lived far off or on the other side of the planet, and after some unfortunate events, you were under Pepper's care. 

Well, at least for the last 8 years of your life.

And since then, you could always remember how uptight, stern, and organized she was. It came with her job apparently. As was being stressed 24/7 because she had been dealing with the one and only Iron Man, Tony Stark.

Pepper had a great way of dealing with things, keeping some things to a T, and to keep a cool head with it all. Also, she was adamant about keeping you from Tony, away from the epitome of a machine of a man that he was. Oh, many were the nights where you were a witness to just how frustrating the man was, to how much Pepper had to keep herself from breaking down. You were not very fond of him – to say the least, you kinda hated him.

But upon meeting the man, later on, you found that he wasn't all that bad. In fact, he reminded you a lot of your father - workaholic to an extreme, and a bit of a softie. Just big on his ego.

As an added bonus, he completely won you over for being the guy for Pepper after deciding that you weren’t some runt after all.

After the events of Ultron, Tony decided to take you in and take you as if you were his own, treating you like his little assistant. (As he wasn't comfortable with having kids just yet.) You were pretty young, Pepper had that argument too and was fairly backed by Happy, but Tony was all, ‘then best start them young!’ and all went his way, one way or another. You were a smart cookie, at least that’s what Tony said, Pepper added that, and Rhodey – who still didn’t want to force something on to someone so young. And thus, your life with the Stark-Potts couple would never be the same - for better or for worse.

After the Accords, however, things were different. Much different. Both Tony and Pepper were never the same even way before that, but the former looked like a hollow of a man he once was.

As much as Pepper had more rights over you, she didn't want to be unfair and cut you off from Tony completely, and thus, let you do as you please. Honestly, it hurt having to go back and forth between the two, seeing two of the strongest people in your life thread on thin ice. Try as you might, you even attempted to get the two together only to end up with nothing. Happy was there, at least, to make you sane and moving. Rhodey, who still scares you, keeps you in check and on your toes.

However, things managed.

Then a lot of things happened: Tony and Pepper finally patched things up, finally got married - you were Pepper's maid of honor, you were whisked to some Ivy League thanks to Pepper and Tony’s recommendations, Tony suddenly was whisked away to the stars to save the universe, some war FRIDAY relayed in Wakanda, and then half the population turning to dust. A week later, Tony came back - with new friends from different galaxies, you all moved far away – far away from the Avengers, Tony insisted you to help Pepper to keep you busy, Morgan was born, you finished university, and were working on a master’s degree.

And then...Tony-

God, just the thought of him - what he did - still chokes you up. It hurt to hear from Pepper what had happened, to see her – the strongest iron lady you know and love – break into a million pieces, crumbling to the ground and disregarding every rule about grace and poise. Tony. He was like a father to you, the best and worst one you could ever ask for.

After his passing, you made it a point to keep his legacy alive, to ensure that it was protected at all cost - Morgan. 

You loved the littlest Stark with all your heart, like the little sister you wished you had. Ever since she was born, already, you vowed to keep her from anything.

She was Tony's legacy.

Well, one of many...

There was that kid from Tennessee, Harley Keener, whom you had the chance and pleasure to be acquainted with.

And then there was-

"Who're you?" a voice asked behind you, breathlessly, curiously.

Turning on your heel, you found a guy - brown hair, pale skin, average height, fit in build, looked like he was around your age - walking in, looking like he had run a marathon.

Scrunching your nose, not really like the way he was trying to piece who you were, you fixed him a questioning look. "I'm-"

"(NAME)!" a bubbly voice called behind you, causing the two of you to turn.

Eyes widening, they then relax, you then sagged in relief and all but ran towards the little girl, taking her in your arms.

"There you are! Where've you been, you?" you ask, tucking strands of hair away from her face.

Giggling mirthlessly, eyes twinkling with mischief, she replied. "Nowhere~"

You rolled your eyes at that, playfully. Her grin grows, eyes crinkling when her lips lift, exposing dimples.

Looking over your shoulder, you nearly forgot the guy behind you, hoisting Morgan up.

"Oh, I'm (Name)," you tell him. "but I think you got that already."

The younger teen looks from the brunette in your arms to you, the cogs in his head whirring. "Are you...?"

"Nope, I'm just a babysitter." Quick to dismiss his question, you shake your head lightly. "An on call at that."

"Ah," was the only thing he could say, not sure what to say next.

"Peter!" the girl in your arms says, a smile still in check.

"Morgan, hey." he walks up, about two feet away.

It was your turn to look between him and the brunette in your arms, fixing an inquisitive look as to the cogs in your head begin to turn - two and two adding up. You did hear things from Pepper, Happy, and Tony. 

Like a light bulb moment, you pointed at him. "You're the Spider-Man, aren't you?"

First, he sputters, face morphing into a look of surprise, shock, and embarrassment which ends with his face flushing to the tips of his ears.

Little did he know that you knew long before his cover had been blown.

"Don't worry. Happy's not really that good at keeping a secret." You assure him. At that, Morgan chuckles. You chuckle with her, sharing a knowing look as you bump your noses together. "Well, more like, he's slipping."

"Or getting old!" Morgan chirps.

You share a laugh, again. This time, Peter joins in.

"Anyway, is there something or anything you needed?" you asked, remembering his sudden appearance, adjusting your hold on Morgan, who now was resting her head on the crook of your neck.

"Oh...I, uh, I was just..." he fumbles, fidgeting with his fingers as you stand there, patiently waiting for him to finish his sentence. "...um, I was told to come over...?"

Puzzled, your brows narrowed together. "By who?"

"Me." A voice booms, you all turn, staring at a dark-skinned man donning familiar colors. A taller man stands by him, almost like a shadow.

In the years under Tony and Pepper’s tutelage, months spent and having unlimited access to nearly everything that is related to the Avengers, you found yourself in contact with the new Captain America and his trusty companion, the Winter Soldier.

At first, it was quite intimidating. They were intimidating. But soon, you found yourself warming up to them. They were like brothers, you adored them so much.

Suddenly, the room felt like there was purpose as the two men strode in, and you felt even smaller in their presence.

Just as you motioned to leave, Morgan pipes up, “Sam! Bucky!”

Over time, Peter became a familiar face in the compound.

Aside from helping clean up the mess that Quentin Beck and his lackeys did to the poor boy, he was also heralding in for his part with the new Avengers - Sam Wilson, now bestowed with the mantle of Captain America, with the infamous Winter Soldier, Sgt. James Barnes, as his right hand, much to the displeasure of many governments.

Then again, who were they to decide what's best for this world when they knew nothing of the battles these brave men fought for? Who were they to decide who carries the mantle? It's not theirs, government-issued or not.

Also, in the past years of their hiding, and fighting off Zeemo, they've proven themselves countless times and earned the hearts of many. Whether they like it or not, they were the best choice to serve and defend the innocent.

For Peter Parker, physically 18 years old, filling in his spot for the team was huge.

He was in leagues with a whole bunch of other heroes – Hulk, Dr. Bruce Banner; War Machine, James Rhodes; Scarlet Witch, Wanda Maximoff; Dr. Strange, Dr. Stephen Strange; Ant-Man, Scott Lang; Wasp, Hope Van Dymme; and off the grid were the Asgardians of the Galaxy, and Carvol Danvers, Captain Marvel. Just to name a few. Sure enough, there would be more heroes coming in, it’s only a matter of time after all.

It was a big world - universe, rather.

Eventually, the kid also grew on you, for many reasons. But in those many reasons, it also felt kind of weird - you werethree years older than him. Physically speaking.

He would have been 23, just three years older than you, had he not been snapped away. Or blipped away. 

Yawning, you leaned back, stretching your arms overhead. Peeking back at your laptop, to your dismay you found that was still 10 in the morning, there was still a lot of work to do!

Groaning, you made sure to drag on said groan as you massaged the back of your neck. There were a bunch of emails to check, some invitations to decline, and one Thaddeus Ross to bitch about-

“Coffee?”

At the sound of the voice, you looked up and were met with soft brown eyes belonging to one Peter Parker.

“Peter, hey!” reaching for the cup, you wrap both hands around it, relishing in its rich aroma. “You’re a sight for sore eyes,” Having to face your laptop for hours' end, glancing up just barely with how slow your morning was, it really was. Taking a sip, you let the beverage warm your system and kick in, shoulders sagging. “and a savior.”

The corners of his mouth lift, eyes shining a bit, awkwardly shifting foot to foot. “W-Well, I know how much you work. And how much you love your coffee" he does, strangely enough, to note that you loved it black in the wee hours of the day with a bit of cocoa nibs.

"That I do, Petey, that I do."

He watches you take another sip, your eyes momentarily meeting your laptop screen before looking away quickly - nope! Here's your coffee break, take it.

"I see, uh, that you've been busy."

Sighing, you lean against your seat. "Kinda. Sorta. But, yes."

A little while after you first met, you made sure to properly introduce yourself to the lad, keeping in mind that he was an Avenger and that he'd see more of you now that you worked for Stark Industries, and the Avengers.

"Even though you should be…” he glanced away, words failing him.

“I should be…?” you picked up on the end tail of his sentence.

Gulping, his gaze suddenly drops, looking around helplessly. You sat there, worried, taking sips time to time.

It might be his sixth sense – aptly dubbed as his Spider-senses, but he seemed to know exactly how much you loved your coffee. That, or he was really observant.

“Peter, are you okay- “

“Writing!” he suddenly bursts out. “You like writing, right?”

His eyes land on the books on the side of your desk, and a framed article you had written years back for TIME magazine.

Following his gaze, causing you to turn in your seat, you can’t help the soft expression on your face. “Ah, that.”

Using the heel of your foot, rolling forward, you reached for the frame then rested your still warm drink between your thighs fingers smoothing the corners. “Funny story, Tony made me write it. Pepper gave me the idea.” The article was basically about questioning Thaddeus Ross and the Accords and if it was really pro-government and pro-hero at the same time. “Mind you, at the time, things had just been rocky with the whole mess of the Avengers, Tony and Pepper were not in good term. Writing this had been the closest I got them to speak again, because of how I had written it and its effects.” Memories of Pepper giving snide remarks at people who talked shit to you, rebutting gracefully, and Tony, wisecracking any troll who messed with you online. Those were fun times. Messy, but fun times. As you spoke, Peter quieted down, eyes never leaving you as you spoke. Looking at the article one last time, you set it back on your desk before picking your drink and taking a sip. “So, yeah. I do. Love writing, I mean. “

“And haven’t you thought of doing that instead?”

Noting his implication with a hum, you continued. “Instead of handling hero-related antics, right?”

Instantly, his face flushed, expression mixing up as he jumbled on his words. “N-Not that what you’re doing is wrong or anything! I-It’s just…you can-“

“Relax Peter!” You laugh, hand raised to calm him. “I know what you mean. It’s just that,” pushing yourself back, you swayed a bit in your seat “this is my job now, something I’ve been doing for a while and one I enjoy. Stressful as it is, it’s still fun. At the very least, I’m still writing. Plus, I get to be with you guys! So, that works, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” breathing returning to normal, he nods, replying breathlessly. “yeah, yeah, yeah. T-That’s true.”

Tilting your head, seeing that he wasn’t fully satisfied with your answer, you humor him. “Given the chance, I would’vebeen in the writing field. Who knows? Writing as some underground slob, some hermit, or rise amongst the ranks of those high-profiled writers, or for TIME...”

Smiling wistfully, you were just about to take a sip again when it dawned to you. “Oh, what are you doing here, anyway? Do you have a meeting with Pepper?”

“Miss Potts- oh. Oh, no!”

“Did you wanna see Morgan then?”

“No, no!” he was getting more panicked, which was worrying. Putting down your coffee, you brought both hands to your desk and pulled yourself in, the desk separating you and Peter. He was muttering something under his breath, something you didn’t catch.

“Petey?” ducking your head, for a closer look at him, getting a closer inspection of how hazel brown his eyes actually are.

“U-Uh…” he gulps under your gaze. "...um..."

“Hey, (Name), I need your help with someth-“a new voice pipes in.

The two of you turn, (E/c) eyes widen at the new visitor, instantly, you were on your feet and running towards him.

“Harley!” engulfing him in a hug, you laugh mirthlessly at his presence. “Oh, my god you’re here! How are you? What are you doing here?”

Dang, you forgot just how tall he was!

“Uh, I’m supposed to work on my grant with Miss Potts,” he says, almost carefully staring from you to the lad behind him.

“Ah, yes,” you nodded, snapping a finger and pointing at him in realization. “that was today. Unfortunately, Pepper’s busy with something. Fortunately,” you tilted to your side, hands clasped in front of you then pointing index fingers at him. “Ican lend you a hand.”

Harley smiles at this, especially at your dorky dramatics, you grin back toothily.

Then you remembered that you weren’t alone.

“Oh! Where are my manners? Peter, this is Harley Keener, one of Tony’s boys.”

“You make it sound like I'm a booty call.” Harley grumbled beside you, making you snort and elbow him playfully.

“Well, Tony has a way of calling people and it rubs off pretty easily when you’re around him a lot.”

The taller lad rolls his eyes – playfully, used to your language and overall attitude as a reminiscent of one Tony Stark. Peter, who was still standing there, looks dumbfounded between the two of you, unsure what to do before you called on him.

“Sorry Peter, but I have to attend to Harley. Guess I’ll see you around?”

“U-Uh, sure…yeah.”

Hooking your arm around Harley’s you both walked out, but not before grabbing your still warm coffee from your desk. “Thanks again for this, Petey, bye!”

“He seems nice,” Harley comments, once the two of you get to the elevator.

“Yeah, he is.” You nod, sipping your coffee. “Now tell me, any updates on that crush of yours?”

At this, Harley’s face burns as the elevator doors open.

As Pepper’s assistant, you were basically tasked to help make Pepper’s job easier. As PR, at the same time, you were tasked with dealing with the Avengers’ publicity and ensuring that they look good and handling whatever the media throws their way. Because you were practically raised by Pepper, and the one and only Tony Stark/Iron Man, schooling the media was child’s play to you. Plus, it was really fun dealing with famous people who weren’t super-powered.

Still, as much as you enjoyed your job, you especially loved the quirks that came with it. One of the obvious being that you get to hang with the Avengers. Half of them – who were Tony’s faction during the Civil War bullshit, you grew up with, and the rest just grew on you later.

It was a Friday when you found yourself swinging by the training grounds, looking for Bucky or Wanda with a bag of cheeseburgers to share with and some papers. However, the floor seemed to be empty. Just as you were about to call for F.R.I.D.A.Y. (the AI), you found yourself slipping on some liquid, falling backward with your arms flailing in the air, smacking a nearby tray holding a pitcher and glass.

Faster than you could react, a blur was by your side, a firm grip on your shoulder, and with his free hand, easily caught the tray, the pitcher, the glass, and its contents. All before you could even blink.

“W-Woah…” you breathed, feeling your heart beating wildly against your chest. That could’ve been one nasty accident where you could’ve been wet, hurt, or both!

“(N-Name)! Are you alright?” asked your savior, making you blink at him.

It was Peter.

“Peter…” you said, almost to yourself.

Effortlessly, he set the tray aside, his hand still on around your shoulder, making you feel his strong arm around you.

“I-I’m sorry about that, must’ve tried to do some physics trick but ended up failing and all…” he replied, looking at the water on the ground.

“Ah,” you responded, getting the idea. Surprisingly, with a crinkling sound, you were still gripping unto the cheeseburgers and the papers- no, wait, they’re gone.

Turning your head around, you searched for those papers – which probably should be on the ground from the way you threw them up from the slip.

“Here,” Peter suddenly appears in front of you. Upside down.

“Woah, this is cool,” you remarked all wide-eyed, taking the papers from him, watching him bend over the ceiling to drop to the ground. “Seeing your abilities up close and personal.”

“I-I have other abilities, too!”

“Yeah, I know. You have superhuman strength, enhanced agility, and a super brain.” You list off, heading to the counter to drop the cheeseburgers and papers Pepper assigned you to send around. "No, wait, Happy mentioned it was something else..." scrunching your face, you ransacked your brain for it. "Er, what was it...oh! Peter tingle, right?"

He nearly tripped on his feet but caught himself instantly. "Spider senses! It's called 'Spider Senses'!"

"Ah, is that what it's called?"

That makes Peter sigh, almost frustratingly – like he was to throw a tantrum then and there. He really is a child, you thought.

“I’m teasing you, Pete.” You laugh, leaning against the counter, watching him seemingly deflate, ears slightly red. “But, if you don’t mind me asking," folding your arms behind you, you carefully approach him "can you just break it down to me just how your Spider Senses work?”

Caught off guard by your question, Peter puffs his cheeks. “Um, err…” he shuffles, scratching the back of his neck as words fail him.

Circling, you hop on the counter behind you, patiently waiting on him.

Seeing just how genuinely interested you seemed to be with his powers, it excited him a bit. You weren’t being pushy about it either. In fact, he’s seen you quite a handful of times, and you were always sure to be nice and welcoming, treating him Peter first, Spider-Man second. There were only about a few people who were genuinely interested in how his abilities worked really, one of them was Ned, then there was Mr. Stark, then there was Sam, and then Bucky. And then, you.

“So, um…I’ve got these senses.” You nod encouragingly. “And, uh, they help me be keenly aware of my surroundings and help me react.”

“Meaning, you have times ten the reflexes?”

“…kinda?”

Recalling the almost incident earlier, it was amazing to know just how quick he responded before the inevitable. “That’s cool. I didn’t know spiders could do that.”

“Y-Yeah…” he could only reply, noting how pleased you were with his explanation, how your beating calmed him-

“If this were a comic book, then what you have would probably be the most overpowered ability of all. Still, thanks for telling and trusting me.”

Clearing his throat, he slowly approached you. “So, uh, what brings you here?”

“What, I can’t be here?”

“N-No- th-that’s not-“

Really, he was so cute with the stuttering and all.

“Are you always this awkward around people? Or just girls?”

You really reminded him of Tony Stark with your charm and quips.

“You’re kinda difficult to approach, I guess?”

“Oh, so, I’m a science problem now?”

Peter’s mouth gaped at that, at a loss what to say next. Which in turn, caused you to laugh, head pulled back.

“You’re cute, Peter Parker.” Hopping off the counter, you reached out to pinch his cheek before turning back to fetch the paper bags. “I brought burgers for Bucky and Wanda, sadly, they’re not here, wanna eat them?”

Ever since the spider bite, life for Peter Parker was never the same. And it was probably a given to those who wielded great power, and now, he was one of them.

However, he would never imagine that because of that very spider bite, he’d be in leagues with people he’s admired for a while – the Avengers.

His life would forever change the moment Tony Stark sat in his apartment living room, chatting casually with his aunt, interrogated, and basically recruited him to his faction. Unofficially, that had marked his joining the Avengers.

But it was the Battle with Thanos months later that he was officially an Avenger, which later resulted in him dusting away for five years, then he came back for another fight for his life and the universe, they won but at the cost of Earth’s mightiest heroes. Months following after that were spent in constant fear and mourning that he tried to fight with his teenage life.

Funny thing was, just when he thought life was going his way, there’d always be something to nope him out of it. Mysterio, for one, hijacking his Europe trip and revealing his identity to the world.

For a while, his life was sure to spiral out of control and he’d be torn from his life. Nope.

Because he was an Avenger, not only was he backed by his colleagues, the government – what good half of it anyway, S.H I.E.L.D. and good civilians who were recipients of the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man’s kindness, the fear of his civilian life was protected and secured.

He just never expected that with becoming an Avenger, he’d have the chance to go places, experience new and exciting things, still be himself whilst growing up-

"Alright, little munchkin, open up!"

-and then there was meeting you, (Y/N) (L/N).

By blood, you were Pepper Potts-Stark’s niece-in-law, but by paper, you were practically her daughter/sister, more so as her trusty assistant.

Physically, you were three years his senior. Had the Snap not happened; however, he’d have been three years older than you. Still, he towers over you despite being the ‘littlest guy’ – as Sam would put it.

Using his heightened hearing, he followed after until the voices were closer, and he was standing by the doorway to the kitchen where you were.

You weren’t alone though. No, sitting by the counter, happily watching and smiling at you was little Morgan Stark.

It's a first for him to see you like this - in more casual, comfortable clothes, especially in shorts where he can see your legs. He had to pull himself out of it as he remembered that Morgan was there, singing some song as you sang with her.

It was a Disney song, he realized, from that one movie.

While the two of you were having a mini-concert, the smell of something being cooked filled the kitchen.

“Pasta,” he thought to himself, aloud.

“Peter!” the littlest Stark called from the counter, struggling to hop down, before you helped her down, tiny legs barreling towards him.

Anticipating her approach, he knelt to catch her in his arms, twirling as he entered the kitchen – the smell growing stronger.

“H-Hey, (Y/N),” he says to you, standing straighter.

Offering a smile, you turned back to check on the pasta sauce you were making. “Hey Peter,”

Unsure of what to say next, he lets Morgan play with his hair before coming up with a reply. “F-Fancy seeing you here,” he said lamely.

“Is that a bad thing?”

Realizing his mistake, he nearly drops Morgan, sputtering words. “T-That’s not- No! U-Um,” you were calmly stirring the pot, body turned to him, letting him know that you were listening. “I-I…It’s just, I’m not used to seeing you so casual…I guess?”

“Ah,”

Seriously, why was he so lame?

“It’s my day-off.” You say simply, switching the fire off. “And I make sure to use up my time keeping sane with the help of the world’s most adorable little girl, isn’t that right, Morgan?”

"Working too much is evil!"

"Sometimes I wonder where and how you learn these things," you mumble laughingly, head shaking. "must be a Stark thing."

He laughs with you in agreement. Morgan was scaringly too smart for her own good, clearly from her Stark genes.

"Most definitely a Stark thing," he agrees with you, laughing, eyes glued on your form as you hunt around the kitchen for something. "Need some help?"

"Ah, yeah." Pointing at the pot of sauce, you say. "Can you be a dear and bring that to that table over there?" with the same hand, you bring it back to the small dining table behind you, where plates and utensils sat. "Oh, and be sure to use mittens," you add, producing two kitschy kitchen mittens - one that was an embroidered goldfish, of some sort. "I'm not sure just how strong you are, but you can't be that strong against heat against metal."

"Ha ha, a science joke, I see." he says, taking the handle with both hands.

"It's not rocket science, silly." Holding a bowl full of pasta, you hastily grab a pair of tongs, before the two of you were walking towards the dining room. "Okay, there we go. Oh, just put it right here, Petey." you point at the empty coaster next to the pasta bowl, where he carefully lays it down. "Great, thanks!"

Hands on your hips, you admire your work, clasping both hands together before rubbing. "Okay, lunch is set! Now, where's my little Morgan?"

It was almost too cliché and overused at this point, but nobody that deny that charity galas were almost always a selling point to earn the trust of the most esteemed, high-profile, and probably the snootiest people in the world- all of which, were Tony's words that he had told you years back.

You hated these kinds of events, but again, they sold off to the rich and the famous. And they were a great way to rub elbows with just about anybody.

Never leaving Pepper's side, the both of you welcomed in guests after guests, receiving warm regards from ambassadors, warding off leering looks from power-hungry businessmen, laughing with nobles and socialites, and being graced by esteemed guests. Honestly, you had to give it to Tony and Pepper for bearing with these lot, just being in the same room with them and inhaling their pricey perfumes made you feel ten times older.

When all was said and done, you rushed towards where the Avengers were - all of which were dressed to the nines, all looking like literal gods in a sea of mortals.

Laughingly, half of them seem to enjoy the festivities, some looked bored to death (but came for the chance of exposure), some looked uncomfortable, and mostly seem to just enjoy parading themselves.

It was easy to spot Peter Parker among them, being - as Sam put it - the littlest guy because the rest of the women were in heels.

Meeting your gaze, he lifts his hand into a tiny wave. Giggling, you winked and gave him a peace sign, before turning to a waiter offering drinks. Taking a flute from his tray, you were unaware of the boy's eyes locked on you as you clung to Pepper's side, wearing a polite smile that illuminated your face and the dress you were wearing.

It's just...You look pretty in that dress. Like, really pretty. Maybe prettier than usual

Well, you were always pretty to him whatever you wore - may it be office wear, casual wear, even a bean bag, but tonight, that dress made you look mature, exquisite, and divine. The makeup on your face highlighted some of your features quite well - not too much, but enough to really emphasize your cheeks, your lips, your eyes. And your hair was in a simple style but enhanced your look. Overall, again, you looked really pretty.

Too engrossed in his stare, he nearly jumped in place when Shang Chi came into his field of vision, smirking knowingly down at the young boy.

"That's an intense stare you got there, wanna go talk to her?" the newest Avenger asked, golden eyes alight with life.

"U-Uh...?" he sputtered, feeling the blood rush to his face, just as he saw your face light up - if possible, it made the whole place shine brighter - when Morgan ran up to you. Her dress was a poofier and lighter version of yours.

"No worries, little brother," whispered the man, smirk still in place as he watched you nuzzle Morgan's nose with yours. "I'm not telling."

Okay, he felt screwed.

With all the glitz and glamour that filled and surrounded the life of one Tony Stark, it takes a certain amount of temperament and training to turn one so thick-skinned and fluent in the art of socializing from the regular folk to the nouveu riche to the beau-monde. Despite careful years of watching, observing, absorbing, and taking things into action, the results were the same: it was pretty exhausting.

You didn’t know how Tony did it, nor do you want to know. I mean, there were years of alcohol and therapy. Not to mention, his hands just itching to tinker.

Pepper fared in the best way she could. Seriously, she was the personification of the phrase, ‘grace under pressure’.

Well, maybe until she has someone she can finally rip apart.

Having excused yourself from the scene, you desperately needed to be away from all the glitzy fanfare – too much of it might actually render you insane.

You find yourself in what seems to be a lounge area. There were plants, paintings, some comfortable sofas. Music could be heard from the gala nearby, but here it came as a gentle thrum and hum.

“How’s the party going?” someone asked.

You whipped your head around, searching, finding an old man sitting by one of the sofas.

Putting on a smile – tired, but polite, you say. “Well, it’s still going,” he laughs at that. “Starks’ legacy continues to fill the night. Hopefully, it’ll end well for business and pleasure.”

He laughs again, a gentle, hearty laugh. “Well, that’s a relief. And quite the expectation.”

“Well,” you didn’t mean to sigh so heavily, brows raised slightly. “it is what it is.”

Nodding at the older man, you were just about to find a balcony only to stop in your footsteps.

Slowly, very slowly, you looked back to the lone soul sitting by the sofa – sharply dressed, small, frail, but his posture said otherwise, as did his smile.

And his eyes.

Suddenly, you realized why that old man with astoundingly baby blue eyes with a kind smile looked familiar. You were careful in your approach, as to not bring any attention. "Mr. Rogers?"

Familiarity radiated off his features as he took you in, the same familiar smile on his face. "Hi, (Name),"

"Hi..." you said back in awe, unsure what to do, or say.

"Wow, you're so big now." Baby blue eyes take you in, so warm and threatening to swallow you whole. "And you used to be the littlest thing."

Memories flash of a younger you meeting the famed war hero, Tony by your side. His dashingly, boyishly handsome face. Walks around the compound or the park with his gentle hands in yours. Warm hugs after a bad day at school. The sad look in his eyes when he left the compound. Regret, guilt, and sadness during Tony's burial-

"Come sit by me," he invites, patting the spot next to him.

That seemed to snap you back to your current time, forcing your legs to move. One step becomes two, then three, until you were next to him, (e/c) eyes not leaving his now small and frail form. A far cry from the hulking teddy bear of a man you're used to.

Gentle music from the gala filled in the silence, which just dragged on.

Steve smiled, simply smiling by the silence, blissfully knowing your state of confusion by his presence. But he was content, to say the least, to share the silence with you.

This man, Steve Rogers to many, known as Captain America to all, but to you – and a select few, he was more than that.

In spite of what happened – Ultron, Sokovia, their Civil War, Thanos, this man meant a lot to you, had a special place in your heart that rivalled only to Tony Stark.

"You know,” you said slowly. “Pepper never blamed you...after everything that had happened."

Turning to you, his eyes widened slightly. "Did she now?"

You nod, earrings dangling with you. "It was inevitable, ever since Tony was kidnapped and Iron Man happened. Since the moment those two fell in love, and the Avengers came to be." Breaking into a short laugh, you added. “Maybe even before you and I joined in the mix.”

"Did you blame me?" he asked you, suddenly, his baby blue eyes, though faded with age still held so much emotion. 

That question would've been easier to answer then - after months of seeing Pepper and Tony's relationship in turmoil, Pepper in tears, Tony's PTSD, Rhodey's injury, Happy's added stress, the death of the closest thing to a father you'll ever have - but now, all things considered, and with Tony's annoying way of rubbing off you, you knew your answer now.

"No. I don't think I could." You reply, smiling softly at him. "Plus, you remember his speech, right? 'Part of the journey is the end'? Somewhere, deep inside his clusterfuck of a brain, he knew that his death was something he feared very much yet knew would put things into perspective."

"You are Tony's girl alright,"

You scoff, ducking shyly, comforted by his words. "Adopted, maybe."

Lifting your head, it felt like you were young again, meeting Steve Rogers for the first time. Except this time, there was no Tony by your side, but you took comfort in knowing that the phantom comforting chill running down your spine was him.

Steve smiled, one that reached his eyes.

"It's so good to see you again, (Name)."

"Me, too." Eyes misting as you broke into a huge grin, it really felt like you were a kid again.

And it that moment, he couldn't help but feel the same.

"Would you care to indulge this man with a dance?"

"I would love to."

(E/c) eyes wandered about to all the couples that had gathered on the dance floor, humming to the beat of the music – jazz, was it? Maybe something gypsy-like? Do they even allow those kinds of music to be played? Soft jazz, maybe.

The music was gentle, soothing, fitting for the event. It was enough to make your heart settle, after a long, engaging, and rather exciting night.

And It was probably far from over.

From where you stood, the second floor balcony that overlooked the whole area, a rather grand view as though you were some lord. But no, you just needed a breather, to slow down the night that was far from over.

Behind you, someone cleared their throat, rather loudly to catch your attention.

Looking over your shoulder, you find that it was Peter. "Y-You...uh, you look really nice, (Name).”

Lips quirked up, you reply. "Thank you, Peter. This is all Pepper. And, well, Maria." After much thought, fingers smoothing over the fabric of your dress, you added, with a pained smile. "And Morgan. Wanda. Sam. Bucky." You tick their name one by one with your fingers.

"Mr. Wilson and Mr. Barnes?" he was stood next to you now.

"They convinced me to come, after much protest. Morgan picked my dress, really."

"You sound so out of place." His brown eyes search yours. To be at the receiving end of those eyes of his, such big, kind, and warm eyes, made you feel all sorts of funny.

"Oh, trust me, I am. This isn't my scene, y'see, also because I don't really go to these kinds of events. I'm more used to being behind the scenes, working back, or doing my homework while everyone partied." A certain memory roused from the back of your brain, making you chuckle sadly. Having sensed this, thanks to this spider senses, Peter looked up. "Tony," shucks, the mention of his name still hurts. "he would annoy the hell outta me, Pepper, too," she chuckled, almost garbled by the emotions thick in her throat. "but both never forced me if I didn't want to. Sometimes, they'd finish up extra early and bring home junk food to keep me company." Finishing with a sigh, she looked out the dancing couples before her eyes landed on a familiar strawberry blonde woman effortlessly elegant in her own right, ethereal under this light, but ever so heartbreakingly lonely and painful to look at.

Peter followed your gaze, swallowing thickly at that.

"Sorry you had to hear that sob story," you says, in an attempt to lighten the mood, quirking into an easy expression.

Downstairs, the music peaks up, a new song being played.

"Well, to make up for it, do you want to take your mind off it with a dance?"

That made you jump, turning to the younger boy, who was red in the face but had that look of determination in his boyishly handsome face.

You had to chuckle at that, heartily. "Wow, you're good. But okay."

Bucky didn't like it - that little punk was crushing on (Name). Bad.

Thing was, she was pretty oblivious to this. Bucky didn’t like that either. As much as she was Stark's girl, when it comes to things concerning her, it just passed off like the wind. Or maybe water. No, oxygen. Point is, she'd never know unless it was pointed out.

“If you look any harder, the kid’s head might combust.” A voice says next to him, belonging to a familiar blonde – Sharon Carter.

The Winter Soldier made a noise in his throat, eyes cold. "I don't like the way that kid's looking at her,"

"Make you think of Becca, Buck?" Steve asks, humor in his tone.

“Shut up, punk.”

“Well,” Sam appears, elbows on the railing, faint smile quirking his lips. “they are kinda cute.”

Well, fine, they are kinda cute together.

“Good luck trying to tell her that, though.”

But he won’t say it out loud.

[wkemeup]

Obsession

summary: Targeted after your complicated relationship with Bucky ends up on every news channel in the city, your stalker takes things into his own hands to ensure that you belong to him, and him alone.

pairing: bucky x reader

word count: 11.2k

warnings: stalking, kidnapping, mild torture/violence, people being assholes to Bucky, 

authors’s note: oooo man Ive been dying to write something like this for  awhile and I’m so happy I could incorporate a prompt from @afewmarvelousthoughts’ writing challenge! My prompt was “We’re going to be ok” Hope you enjoy!! ✨

Bucky has been through more in his lifetime than most, survived more than he should. He’d been drafted into the US army in the second world war and given a group of men to lead through the trenches of hell. He’d been a prisoner of war, twice, experimented on, tortured, beaten and mutilated for a cause he never agreed to. He’d been ripped of his memories, of his innocence, and broken down into a shell of his former self, forced to carry out orders for the vilest organization in known history.

He’d been destroyed from the inside out, in every sense of the term, and still, nothing torn through him with a paralyzing fear quite like the moment he found out you’d been taken.

O N E  M O N T H  E A R L I E R

“So, Y/n has a stalker.”

Bucky choked on his cereal as Tony strode into the kitchen with a hand full of manila envelopes, sporting a single raised eyebrow and a purse of his lips.

You giggled as milk trailed down Bucky’s chin, rubbing soft circles on his back until the coughing fit subsided. You nudged his shoulder as you scooped up a bite of honey nut cheerios from his bowl while he was distracted. He narrowed his eyes and you only shrugged in response, cheeks full of cereal and a drop of milk slipping from between your lips.

You didn’t seem to be bothered in the slightest by Tony’s announcement and yet Bucky’s palms were starting to sweat and his breaths were coming in a bit harsher than usual. He was a world class assassin, could take out a moving target from a mile away, was exceptionally calm under pressure to the point where he felt more at peace with the handle of a knife nestled in his grip than a cup of tea. That all went out the window when you were involved.

“What makes you so sure it’s a stalker and not some overly enthusiastic fan?” Clint piped up from the couch, eyes still glued on his book.

Bucky nodded to himself, attempting to bring his heart rate back to a normal pace before you could pick up on it.

Clint was right. The avengers had fans. It wasn’t a surprise that a few of them could take things a little too far. Steve has been bombarded for pictures while trying to pick up pizza from his favorite shop in Brooklyn more than once and Parker had to give hell to a few male fans not too long ago who had tried to push a girl down while she was asking politely for his autograph.

Luckily, Bucky wasn’t usually on the receiving ends of those sorts of things. The public still had a complicated relationship with the Winter Soldier, but he didn’t much mind. He was one of the few of the team who could still walk down the street without being bothered for pictures. Even without his metal arm in view, pedestrians still parted like the red sea when he walked in their direction. People would turn away, cower from him if they accidentally made eye contact. Some of the brave ones would take his picture from a distance, careful to shut off the flash, but he noticed.

In the streets, he was left alone.

But not you. No, you were exceptionally adored by the people of New York; always stopped for photos from little girls in dress up costumes hand stitched to match your stealth suit, dozens of interview requests pouring in weekly from esteemed journalists and high school newspapers alike, your image synonymous with relief, safety, and an aura of empowerment not even your critics could touch.

It was because you were so loved by the people, Bucky couldn’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that he was the one you let hold your hand in the quiet hours at the compound, to sleep next to you at night when the nightmares were too much, to pull that smile from your cheeks he fallen so easily for.

Your relationship was complicated, a tangled mess of something a little more than friendship, but there was no doubt in his mind how he felt for you. You’d make his heart jump every time you’d walk in the door, had this uncanny ability to make him smile even on his darkest days, and you took him as he was, unapologetically and without judgement.

You were everything to him.

Voicing it aloud was something entirely different.

He knew the world would never accept a relationship between you and him. You were too kind, too selfless and generous, and he was a monster by the public’s standard, an instrument of Hydra. So, he kept his feelings hidden far away in the back of his chest and held onto the small stolen moments he had with you. For now, it was enough.

It was well known amongst the team the connection you shared, but no one dared bring it up. Not after you nearly chewed everyone out when Sam had caught you carding your fingers in Bucky’s hair during a movie night when the explosions on the screen felt too real. You had only scooted closer to him, brought his head to lean against your chest as you raked your nails soothingly against his scalp, tossing Sam a glare whenever he so much as looked in Bucky’s direction.

It was always you and Bucky.

On missions. In the gym. Making pancakes in the morning. Binge watching on the couch ‘till three in the morning. Pulling pranks on Sam.

Racing to the other’s room in the dead of night when a scream ripped through the halls. Sitting in a folding chair in the med bay for hours on end when one of you was injured in the field. Unwilling to leave for even a moment until you knew the other was okay.

You and Bucky.

Tony pinched at the bridge of his nose and Bucky found himself drawn to the manila envelopes tucked under his arm. “No ordinary fan does shit like this.”

With that, Tony let out a heavy sigh, and pulled out a stack of photographs from the first envelope. He tossed them down the table until they spread out over the surface. Bucky froze, breath hitching in his chest as his eyes darted to the pictures; each image a picture of you in various locations, unaware of the camera.

Bucky couldn’t help but instinctively slide closer to you, his thigh brushing yours just to ground himself. He watched nervously as you glanced over the pictures curiously, eyes flickering to ones of you walking out of a cafe in Queens, one in your tactical gear where you led bystanders out of the path of whatever chaos was erupting in the streets, one of you chatting casually with Wanda with an iced coffee in your hand.

You narrowed your eyes, picking up one of you on your morning jog. You were standing by a bench in central park, wrist raised as if you were about to check your heart rate when something caught your attention. Your eyes stared in the direction of the camera, but you hadn’t seen it, just a little too far to the left.

There were dozens more. All from over the last three years since you’d joined the Avengers.

“How did you get these?” Nat asked, holding up a picture of you wearing that teal blouse that always seemed to make Bucky’s heart stop as you took a picture with a fan on the street, oblivious to the photographer behind this particular photo.

“Special delivery straight to my office,” Tony replied, rolling his eyes. “No return address, of course.”

Bucky found his eyes caught on a photo of you walking down an empty side street in Brooklyn, dressed casually in blue jeans ripped at the knees, a grey knit sweater, and a smile thrown over your shoulder as you looked behind you to something outside of the camera’s range. Bucky remembered that day well. You were looking at him. It was the first day he had agreed to let you drag him to the coffee shop you’d been telling him about for months.

“Oh, that’s not all,” Tony grumbled, pulling Bucky from his trance as he disbursed a second wave of evidence. This time, handwritten letters in thick black ink.

Bucky scooped up one of the dozens of crinkled papers. He began to read aloud, “Today I saw you by your favorite bagel shop in Queens. Each day you grow more beautiful and I stop to wonder if you’re not Aphrodite herself. You were wearing that yellow sundress you know that I love and I bought you sunflowers to match. You’ll find these with your captors’ assistant—” Bucky shook his head. “Captors?”

“Must be us,” Steve said as he started to read one of the letters himself. “It’s signed ‘with all my love, Eros.’”

“This asshole calls himself Eros?” Sam scoffed. “What kind of a name is that?”

“The Greek god of lust,” Nat replied casually and you laughed under your breath. Only Bucky seemed to notice. He couldn’t understand why his stomach was twisting into knots and you were seemingly unaffected by this.

“I’ve got everyone working on finding this freak,” Tony said, gathering up the photographs and letters. “We’ll find him, Y/n. Don’t worry.”

You only shrugged and finished eating your cereal, sending Bucky a wink that didn’t ease the tension in his gut.

After the team had disbursed and only you and Bucky remained at the table, even long after you’d both finished your breakfast, he finally gained the courage to ask, “how are you so calm about this?”

You smiled, your hand brushing over his shoulder, leaving goosebumps in their wake. It was a soothing motion you had grown to do for him over the years and Bucky leaned into it subconsciously. You had a way of easing him before he could realize what you were doing.

“I’ve known about Eros for years,” you admitted. Bucky narrowed his eyes in shock. “He’s been sending me letters since I became more public as an Agent. I knew him back when I was living in Queens before I joined the Avengers, before I met you, too.”

You must have noticed the flash of panic across his face because you reached up and brushed a hair from his eyes, smiling sweetly at him, enough to unravel the knots in his stomach.

“He’s harmless, Buck,” you said and he wished he could believe you. “I brought it to the local PD when he first showed up and they said they’d seen this stuff a million times. Men like this are cowards and they get off on appreciating from afar. He’ll never act on his delusional affection for me. Besides, I’m a highly skilled Agent of Shield and I live in a glorified dormitory for superheroes. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Bucky nodded as you carded your fingers through his hair. As an exhale left his lips, you stood up to wash both of your dishes. Bucky watched you as you hummed to yourself, dipping the bowls in the soapy water, and he tried to convince himself that you were right, that this Eros would never make a move on you, that it would only every amount to creepy photographs and love letters.

He should have listened to his gut.

***

Bucky sat across from you, huddled in the corner of the small family owned café in Brooklyn you loved so much. Adorned in an oversized sweatshirt and your hair tucked back into a bun at the base of your neck, a few strands falling out to frame your face, and a pair of sunglasses in hopes to conceal your identity, you blew carefully on the surface of your tea. The steam wavered slightly and you crinkled your nose as you took a sip.

Bucky smiled to himself, adjusting the rim of his baseball cap and glancing over his shoulder at the hustle of commotion coming from the kitchen. Just a black coffee for himself, he didn’t pay much mind to the scalding temperature as it passed his lips, too transfixed in the way your eyes shifted, a gentle smile curving against your cheeks, as you watched an older couple settling down at the table off of Bucky’s left.

It was your tradition; one you insisted could not be postponed even with Eros lingering over your shoulder. It was nothing new, you told Bucky. It wasn’t going to get in the way of your weekly Sunday morning tea and coffee in Brooklyn. It wasn’t always this shop and it wasn’t always on Sundays in the weeks your missions interfered, but you had insisted it was important to keep up with. You wanted to make sure Bucky felt at home in Brooklyn again, felt safe to be out in the streets, and he appreciated that more than you knew.

When both cups had been drained and the server had stopped by to retrieve the empty mugs, Bucky slid a few dollars onto the table and followed you to the door. It had been a while since the two of you had a genuine day off and Eros was virtually silent for the time being, so you convinced him to take the longer route back to the tower. Bucky was keen to do just about anything you asked of him.

So, as you led him through the streets of New York, purposely taking turns onto the less crowded sidewalks, you told him about Sam’s latest prank he planned to pull, giving him a warning Bucky was sure Sam would not appreciate, though you only giggled to yourself and held your pointer finger over your lips to hush him. You told him about your encounter with a little girl asking for your autograph while you were on your morning run and the sunrise you’d had the privilege of seeing.

As you passed a group of kids playing basketball in a small parking lot, you asked for the third time in as many weeks if was absolutely sure he didn’t want to come do a mentor day with you at the Boys and Girls Club.

“The kids would really love you, Buck,” you said sincerely and Bucky knew you truly did believe it, though he struggled to find the truth it in himself.

“Steve’s got me trying to train the new recruits in hand to hand, so I won’t be able to make it this time, doll. I’m sorry,” Bucky muttered out, pressing his lips out into an apologetic smile.

It was a bullshit excuse, one he’d given before, though you never called him out on it. You knew him well enough to understand he didn’t trust himself enough to be around kids, to be a role model when he could hardly stand to look at his own reflection in the mirror.

So when your hand snaked into his, curling against hard metal as you walked, Bucky’s heart nearly skipped a beat. He never gave you enough credit for how perceptive you were. You just smiled up at him, leaning your head on his shoulder for the smallest of moments, and the gesture told him everything he needed to hear.

That you understood. That you were there for him. That you’d wait until he was ready. That it was okay to take his time.

A light squeeze in his hand and you tugged him out of the way of a runner he almost didn’t see coming. It wasn’t the first time you held his hand in public, but it was the first time you didn’t let go after a few paces. It wasn’t a stolen moment captured before anyone else could see or do double take in your direction. Ten paces later and you hadn’t let go. One block. Two blocks. Nearly ten blocks later and your hand still set carefully in his.

He had never wished his left arm could feel more than he did right now. He could sense the pressure, articulate the warmth of your palm, feel the trace of your thumb back and forth against his soothingly as you walked, but it read like data. He wondered if you’d let him switch to your other side but he was too afraid that maybe just acknowledging it would be enough to make it stop and he couldn’t risk it.

“But, uh,” Bucky cleared his throat nervously, “maybe you’d want to help me lead this training Monday morning for the rookies?”

He grimaced as the words left his tongue, already berating himself for taking nearly ten minutes of silence just to work up the courage to ask. Your hand in his was making him light-headed and he swore you could just feel the absolute abhorrent rate of his heart beat. When he looked over at you, he was relieved to find your lips curving up into your cheeks.

“Of course! I will absolutely be there!” you grinned wildly, enough to make Bucky’s stomach weak. “You know I love kicking the ass of some of those cocky agents fresh out the academy who think they own the place.”

Bucky chuckled under his breath, nodding fondly as he remembered the time you had an arrogant frat boy on his back within three seconds of sparring.

He paused at the red light, waiting for the crosswalk to signal for them to pass, when he noticed your face light up at the sight of the ice cream shop you had told him about a few weeks ago. Your smile was so infectious, Bucky didn’t even realize the grin on his face until his cheeks started to hurt.

“Oh Bucky, we have to go!” you exclaimed giddily, your other hand wrapping around your waist to hold onto his forearm. You were practically jumping with joy and Bucky felt his heart swell. The very second the crosswalk lit green, you began tugging him towards the shop and Bucky dragged his feet just for the drama of it, chuckling under his breath as you used your entire body weight against him.

“Bucky, come on!” you laughed, and Bucky realized he hadn’t felt that carefree in years.

The moment he gave in, you dragged him up to the line extending out the door, your hand still planted firmly in his. You grinned up at him, excited in almost a child-like state that Bucky couldn’t seem to get enough of it. You were in the middle of listing your top ten favorite flavors when a voice behind him caught his attention.

“Is that Y/n Y/l/n and the Winter Soldier?”

Bucky’s whole body stiffened. Being recognized in public never went well for him.

“Can’t be,” a second voice scoffed, also male, though a bit deeper in tone. They were further back in the line than Bucky realized, his super solider senses picking up what you didn’t readily hear yourself. “Why the hell would a dime like that be on a date with a psychopath?”

Bucky swallowed thickly and he hadn’t noticed your eyes catch up at him worryingly.

“Bucky? Are you alright?” you glanced back down the line and though you couldn’t find any threats. You could still sense his entire body tensing and you ran your hand soothingly along his arm in hopes draw away some of the strain. You knew him too well.

“Holy shit, it totally is,” the first voice echoed, a snicker in his voice as he must have caught sight of you looking back in their direction. “Wonder if she feels sorry for him...”

“You think she’s pity fucked him yet?”

Bucky visibly winced, recoiling at the man’s taunt as they snickered behind him and he could only vaguely register you running your fingers up and down his arm, the other gripping tightly to his hand.

A group of four exited the line and the two men were suddenly standing directly behind Bucky. He could hear them struggle to hold their laughs under their breath, swatting at one another to shut the other up with no success.

“Can’t believe they let him in the same team as Captain America. Didn’t know we were letting war criminals become superheroes these days,” one deeper voice went on in a hushed whisper, unable to stop himself and his friend laughed in response. Bucky felt you take in a deep breath, your grip on his hand tightening and he knew you heard.

“It’s fine, Y/n. Just ignore them,” Bucky implored, whispering low enough so only you could hear him. You shook your head, gritting at your teeth, though you did your best to do as he asked, despite how difficult these men made it.

“How many people as he killed again?”

“How the hell isn’t he locked up in a cell right now?”

“Can’t imagine why she would want to be anywhere near that freak...”

“Should probably have him committed to a mental state with the fucked up mess in his head.”

“Hydra should’ve just spared us all and killed him when they had the chance.”

That was the final straw.

Bucky winced as you spun around on your heels, dropping his hand and shoving yours hard into the man’s chest. He stumbled back a few paces and fell straight to the sidewalk.

“You wanna say that again, asshole?” you spat as the man cowered back and you stalked toward him, his friend hulling quickly him up to his feet. “You wanna talk shit about a decorated Sergeant of the United States Army?”

“N-No! Sorry ma’am!” the boy stammered out, couldn’t have been any older than twenty. Flip flops, cargo shorts, a university t-shirt. He was practically a child.

Bucky watched as cell phones sprung up from everyone in line, trained on you, as they began to recognize who you were. A few faces turned in Bucky’s direction, eyes wide in realization as many took a cautious step away from him, and he did his best to hide his face with the collar of his jacket.

He didn’t know how it happened, but suddenly reporters were swarming around the shop, bystanders shoved out of the way for cameras and microphones. The two men scrambled away and ran down the street, leaving you and Bucky at the center of flashing lights and microphones shoved in your faces.

Bucky reached out for you in the chaos, unconsciously searching for your hand. His heart only seemed to calm for a moment when he felt you grip the flesh of his right hand when the reporters started shouting questions over top of one another.

“Y/n! Y/n!”

“Tell us Agent Y/l/n, when did you start dating the Winter Soldier!”

“How long have you been together!”

“What does Captain America think!”

“What’s that arm like in bed!”

Bucky yanked you against his chest, guarding you from the camera flashes as you pushed your face into the crook of his jacket. Left arm out ahead of him acting as a shield, he attempted to push forward into the mass of reporters blocking your path but was met with too much resistance. There was no consideration to force them from his path, his public image already a nightmare without adding assaulting a journalist to the list.

The questions kept coming at you a mile a minute, and to Bucky’s relief you were able to ignore them. Until they started asking questions of a different nature.

“What are your thoughts on his dozens of war crimes!”

“Do you trust his affiliation to the Avengers!”

“What about his involvement in the attack on D.C.!”

“Do you believe he could still be working for Hydra!”

A growl ripped through you unlike Bucky had ever heard and you spun around to face the reporters, unveiling yourself from Bucky’s grasp as you shoved a hand to the microphones, swatting them away.

“Enough!” you shouted and the reporters silenced immediately. Your hand was still tied to his, gripping it tight enough to remind him you were still there even as he stood a step behind you. “You have no goddamn right to talk about him like that! James Barnes is a veteran who gave his life in service of this country! He was a prisoner of war for decades and has gone through more in his lifetime than any you could begin to imagine! He’s kind and selfless and the best man I know, so show some goddamn respect!”

With that, you whipped back around, hair flipping over your shoulders as you tugged Bucky away from the flashing cameras and stunned mass of reporters. They didn’t attempt to follow you after that.

The walk back to the tower was silent, though Bucky could feel you squeeze his hand every few paces, a careful glance up to his face. He didn’t know how to react. He knew you cared for him, he’d be a fool not to know that by now, but the way you defended him so fiercely, without even a second thought, made his legs feel weak. That footage would air on every news outlet in the city that night.

The only problem was that Eros would see it, too. Though, neither of you knew that quite yet.

***

Bucky first knew something was wrong when you didn’t show up to Monday morning training with the recruits. He had reminded you just an hour earlier when you slipped out from his bed to carefully tread back to your room for your running clothes. You had scoffed at him, feigning offense that he would even suggest you’d forget. He could still feel your fingers tickling over the bare of his back as he had curled up into the pillow for an extra hour of sleep. You promised you’d be back in time for the training.

Ten minutes past nine and still no sign of you, Bucky let out a heavy sigh and shouted for the recruits to follow him to the sparring ring.

Nearly two hours of training later, sweat dripping down his brow and a pleasant ache in his muscles, and you had yet you walk through the door.

He did his best to focus on the training, providing insight into the agent’s hand-to-hand formations and demonstrating techniques he had learned in his decades of combat. It proved rather difficult when an agent lingering near the back grumbled snide comments at every opportunity; everything ranging from Bucky’s role at an instructor to being personally offended that you weren’t here just for him to ogle at the way you looked in your workout leggings. It took most of Bucky’s self-control to make sure he still held his punches when he faced that particular agent in the ring.

“Good work today,” Bucky grunted to the young agents as he grabbed a towel and brushed it over his face, thankful it was over. He jumped over the barriers of the ring to find the agent who had been tossing a few unfavorable lines to his friends throughout the training waiting for him.

“I thought Y/n was going to join us today,” he remarked with a spiteful tone, as if Bucky’s presence had insulted him in some way. His friends snickered behind him as they watched.

Bucky rolled his eyes, his back to the agent before he turned around. “Agent Y/l/n had something come up. Maybe you should focus on the weak points in your stance rather than objectifying the best agent we have.”

A quick jag to the agent’s left side, one to his collarbone, and another to his right knee and the agent doubled over. His friends rushed forward to help him back up and Bucky chuckled to himself, exiting the gym before word got to Steve that he stepped out of line with another arrogant agent.

Bucky walked out into the kitchen for a glass of water to find the entire team gathered around the table. He paused at the threshold of the room as every pair of eyes landed on him. Tony stood at the end of the table, a solemn look upon his face and a heavy manila envelope in his hand. Bucky’s stomach dropped before he took another step forward.

“Thought you might want to see this first,” Tony said carefully and handed Bucky the envelope. Bucky stared at it for a moment, studying the folder marked with ‘To the Avengers, Signed Eros’ on the front, no return address, before he glanced back up to the team. Tony could only clench his jaw, sink down into the chair as his hand brushed over his mouth.

Trembling hands worked at the metal clips of the envelop that suddenly felt too heavy to carry. The team watched carefully as Bucky pulled a pile of pictures from the folder.

They were dark in color, lighting dim, but Bucky could make you out upon the image clear as day. Blood trailed down the side of your face, tape pressed over your mouth, and arms tied behind your back as you were clearly struggling against restraints, parts of your body blurred in the sudden movements captured in the photograph.

Bucky could hardly breathe, his chest twisting and burning, angry tears prickling in his eyes. He dropped the first photo to the floor, flipping through the rest only to find more of the same.

Photo after photo of you wincing as the flash lit the darkened room, close ups of the wound on your head where Eros must have knocked you out, a tear in your leggings at the knee, your wrists tied to the back of the chair in painful knots, red skin burning under the rope. Wide eyes, reflection of tears on your cheeks, and Bucky dropped the rest of the photos to the ground.

Paper thin and they fell with deafening sound.

The team swarmed in, each gathering a few photos to examine, to attempt to find any kind of clue to your location through the subtleties in the background of the images, but Bucky couldn’t stand to look at them any longer. He couldn’t see you like that, vulnerable, scared. It wasn’t right, didn’t sit well upon your features. He never thought he’d have to see you so afraid.

As the team argued amongst themselves over what farfetched lead to pursue first, Bucky found himself backing out of the room. He couldn’t let himself stop and think about the moment you were taken or what Eros was doing to you at this moment or how long you had been held hostage by this psychopath before anyone even realized you were gone.

There was nothing he could do but wait. Tony had the most advanced technology available outside of Wakanda, so if anyone had a chance in finding you off of these photos alone, it was him.

So, Bucky retreated to the one place he thought might be able to ground him.

He stood outside the door to your room for nearly five minutes before he let himself turn the knob. It was cold to the touch and the door squeaked as he stepped inside, something he had grown to be cautious of in the early hours of the morning when he’d seek you out after a particularly bad nightmare. You’d let him crawl into the bed next to you and even though he’d try to keep his body at the furthest edge of your bed, you’d still find a way to curl up against him and ease away the afflictions in his mind.

Bucky swallowed back the lump in his throat as stepped further into the room, taking in the smell of your freshly washed laundry and the faint scent of the vanilla candle you burned when you read at night. Framed pictures covered your shelves in the spaces absent of your collection of books and trinkets. Imaged of the avengers in their most human qualities; some candid, laughing and blissfully unaware of the camera, some posed, arms throw around one another, the widest smiles up their faces.

Though one in particular drew his attention. It was an image of you and Bucky; a selfie he had agreed to take after much persuasion while you were on a mission in Paris together and decided to stay an extra day after you recovered your intel. The Champs-Élysées stood in the background just over Bucky’s left shoulder. You were curled up against his side, arms wrapped tightly around his waist as he let his arm drape over your shoulders.

Bucky was the only one looking at the camera though, a smile curved on his pressed lips as you looked up at him, seemingly caught mid-laugh, the brightest look in your eye he’d ever seen.

He picked up the photo, holding it carefully in his hands, as a dried flower slipped out from behind the frame, falling delicately to the floor. He bent down to retrieve it, examining it in his hand for a moment until he recognized what it was from.

It was the first elaborate party he had agreed to go to after you had spent nearly an entire week begging him to come with you. If he was honest, he only gave in after Nat showed him the dress you were going to wear; long, forest green, with gemstones in the details and a neckline that was sure to kill him. Not much else could have convinced him to put on a suit and stand around at some stuffy gala to promote a public image he knew he’d never find the favor of.

He had felt a little awkward, showing up at your room to pick you up for something as fancy as this without anything to give to you. He was still a man of his time after all, so he had clipped the end of a carnation from the vase sitting in the center of the table that Wanda had picked from the garden, and handed it awkwardly to you as you opened the door. It was the first time he saw you blush.

He couldn’t believe you actually kept it. The gala was nearly a year ago.

“Buck?”

Breath caught in his throat, Bucky set the frame and the flower back on the shelf before turning around to find Steve leaning against the doorframe.

“Hey Steve.”

“We’re gonna find her,” he said, knowing exactly the train of agonizing thoughts swarming in Bucky’s mind.

“What if we don’t? What if this is it and I never told her that I--” he sucked in a breath, unable to finish the sentence aloud. “I can’t lose her, Stevie. I can’t...”

“I know,” Steve sighed. “Tony’s got everyone on this. All we can do is wait.”

Bucky nodded, but found he couldn’t seem to meet his friend’s eye. He sat on the edge of your bed, hands clenching at his knees as the bed dipped slightly when Steve took a seat next to him.

He didn’t know how long they sat there together in silence, could have been hours as far as Bucky knew. Steve’s hand would find its way onto Bucky’s shoulder every so often, just enough to offer him a light squeeze, remind him he was there when he noticed Bucky’s breathing increase a little too harshly.

Then, a subtle knock on the door and Bucky turned to find Nat standing just beyond the frame.

“Suit up. We’ve got something.”

***

Bucky woke to a blinding pulse at the back of his head. Struggling to adjust to the dim lighting of the room, he reached to the nape of his neck and touched a sticky wet substance. He didn’t need to inspect his fingers to know they’d be marked in red.

As he tried to stand, he found that he was met with a resistance in his left arm. Narrowed eyes glanced down to find his wrist secured to the wall, bound by a thick titanium band bolted into the cement.

He cursed under his breath, slumping down into the floor. He tried to think back to what had gone wrong, but his memory was hazy. He remembered enough to know that Tony’s AI had located the general vicinity Eros was holding you within a five mile radius and the team had split up to cover the most ground. Bucky took the north east quadrant on his own, despite Steve’s protests.

Whatever got him, he never saw it coming. Though, a concentrated burning in his side told him he’d been hit by a taser. Eros must have got him over the head when he was incapacitated by the electricity in his veins. A coward’s offense.

As Bucky’s eyes began to adjust to the room and he sucked in a harsh breath at what he saw.

Hand developed photographs were stung around the room in rows crossing above his head, taped against the wall, and throw along the floors. Some that he recognized from the day Tony had introduced the team to Eros, others from various locations around the city, some from before Bucky even knew you back when you were living in Queens near your cousin.

Though, there were a few, ones with dark red borders that caught his attention. Ones that made his stomach drop and left a deep unsettling ache in his chest.

Pictures of you with him.

Eros had written LIAR and TRAITOR over the images of you and Bucky in your tactical gear emerging from the helicarrier after a mission in Paris, over images of you walking next to Bucky down the busy streets back when he was sure to keep a careful distance from you, across pictures of you sitting next to Bucky in central park the day you had convinced him to start reading the Harry Potter books.

Labels of WHORE and SLUT carved upon images of you staring fondly at Bucky across a table in the café in Brooklyn you loved so much, upon images of the brief moments you had gathered his hand in yours in public, and over smiling faces as he had pretended to struggle to keep up with you on your morning jog. Stolen moments when you thought no one could see, not even Bucky.

In every image, his face was burned out with the hot edge of a lighter.

Suddenly, a sharp clicking at the door rang out into the room and Bucky recognized it as the locks unfastening. He steadied himself, back straight against the wall though he had no leverage sitting on the floor. His arm affixed to the cement didn’t allow for much else.

The door creaked open slowly and a muffled grunt echoed in from the hall. Some kind of commotion; a struggle, maybe. Bucky narrowed his eyes, craning his neck to get a better view, when the door slammed against the adjacent wall. His heart leapt at the sound, though nothing was quite like the twist of dread in his stomach at what followed.

You were thrown into the room, sliding hard on your shoulder and hip as you fell to the ground. Your arms were bound in front of you, wrists red and raw beneath the ropes, and blood dripped from the side of your face. Sweat gleamed over your skin, left in your workout gear though there was a tear at the knee, just as in the pictures he had seen earlier that day. A thick swatch of silver tape covered over your lips, muffling the groan you let out as you struggled to your feet. Otherwise, you appeared unharmed, though Bucky still struggled to catch his breath at the sight of you in chains.

A man Bucky assumed to be Eros stalked in behind you and grabbed a firm hold of your wrists, yanking you forcefully to the center of the room where he hooked the cuffs to a latch in the floor. Once secure, Eros backed away, admiring his work.

He was nothing like Bucky imagined him to be; tall, an incredibly average looking man, with thick rimmed glasses and a white button-down shirt. He looked like he had a stable job in an IT start up, albeit a maybe few social limitations, but entirely normal nonetheless. He could have been following you for years and you’d never pay him a second glance. He blended into the background with ease.

The way in which Eros watched you, a sickening smirk upon his lips, enjoying the way your breaths panted in your chest as you tried to brush the sweat from your forehead with your exposed shoulder, only to smear it further on your face.

You were on your knees, bent over to ease at the pain in your wrists. Tugging at the restraints, a heavy exhale left your lips when it didn’t budge. You slumped over onto your hip, an aura of exhaustion and defeat in your features.

Slowly, in agonizing pace, Bucky watched as you took notice of the pictures, eyes falling on the images he shared with you and a surge of panic in the hue of your iris. Your hand right hand curled into a fist to stop the sudden tremors.

Then, before Bucky could quite prepare for it, your eyes landed on him. You let out a guttural cry, though it was muffled against the tape secured over your mouth, as you tugged forcefully at the restraints. You tried to scramble towards him, but you were pulled back by the clang of the metal chain latching taunt.

His name upon your lips was subdued by the tape, your eyes wide and fearful as you looked him over. Bucky’s heart was pounding terribly in his chest, painfully so, as you winced against your bindings the more you attempted to reach him.

“Y/n, look at me. It’s okay,” Bucky urged, as the bindings on your wrist cut through and blood began to drip down to your fingertips. “We’re going to be okay, you hear me? We’re okay.”

You froze for a second, just meeting his eye and Bucky swore he saw a world of pain masked behind your irises. You shook your head subtly as eyes began to redden in the strain. You didn’t believe him. He wasn’t so sure he believed himself.

“Now the real fun can begin,” Eros grinned, stepping away from the wall as he moved to kneel by your side. His hand traced down the side of your cheek and you flinched away, shooting him a glare “Do you like the present I brought you? I thought you’d be happy I retrieved your plaything for you.”

Bucky watched as Eros stood slowly to his feet, a sinister look in his eye. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a long, black rod. He flicked the switch at the bottom and a buzzing sound filled the room, sparks of electricity bursting between the metal prongs at the end.

“Why don’t we have a little fun with him?” Eros smirked as he admired the taser. “It’s seven times the standard issue volts. Should be enough to bring down a super solider, don’t you think?”

You shook your head, words smothered by the tape over your mouth as you struggled to reach Bucky. The chains pulled you back every time.

Bucky met your eye for a moment, silently telling you he could take it, and maybe a part of him did believe that until Eros plunged the taser into his side.

His entire body tensed, slumping down to the floor, rigid, unable to control his limbs as jolts of energy eroded at his muscles. Convulsing tremors, breath caught in his lungs, he could hardly register your stifled screams. It brought him right back to the chair, to Hydra. There was no end in sight.

Then, relief as Eros pulled the taser away and the faint smelt of burnt flesh stung in Bucky’s nostrils. He laid on the floor, motionless.

“This is your hero?” Eros spat at you, nudging Bucky with the tip of his shoe, his body lifelessly slumping back down against the ground when he pulled his foot away, unable to move. “This is the asshole you've been parading around the city with? Huh? This pathetic excuse for a man? When you could be with me?!”

You screamed against the tape, tears brimming in your eyes as Eros brought the taser down to small stretch of skin exposed on Bucky’s collarbone. There wasn’t even a moment to prepare himself before the electricity surged through him again, rendering him completely helpless to the charge. Muscles stiff, body twitching, eyes rolling behind his head, and all he could focus on was your muffled cries.

Eros didn’t let up until he had grown tired of hearing you cry for another man and released Bucky from the electric waves in his veins. He crossed the room and ripped the tape from your mouth. You recoiled at the sudden stinging, clenching your jaw as red marks were left behind on your skin.

Bucky panted, attempting to catch his breath as he slowly hulled himself back to a sitting position. His muscles were too weak, he could barely lift his flesh arm. He weighed thousands of pounds, and his eyes were falling heavy. Brain too fuzzy.

“What do you want with him?” you demanded, voice broken and raw, as your eyes quickly flashed down to Bucky; a lifetime of guilt and apologies swimming in your eyes that took him off guard.

“The question isn’t what I want with him,” Eros responded, “but rather, what you want from him that matters here.”

You narrowed your eyes, glancing up at Eros for only a moment. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Eros shrugged, though there was a coy expression in his lips. “I need you to convince me he won’t come between us. I have seen the way he watches you. I know of his feelings for you. He’s corrupting you, my love; convinced you that he’s some kind of hero when we all know what he truly is. He’s trying to keep us apart; don’t you see that? I can't let that happen to us. I won’t let him take you from me.”

With that, Eros reached into a drawer nestled in the corner of the room and pulled out a handgun. You swallowed thickly, exchanging a nervous glance with Bucky. Eros cocked the gun, clicked off the safety, and in one foul movement, aimed the barrel right at Bucky’s head. Your eyes blew wide as a gasp left your breath.

Eros smirked. “I’m going to free him of us for good. “

Bucky closed his eyes, clenching his jaw as an unsteady breath came in through his nose, preparing for the worst, when he heard you scream.

“NO!”

Eros raised an eyebrow, a twitch in his eye as he stared at you. He hadn’t expected that. He wanted you to fall into his fantasy, to be the woman he made you out to be, who would be relieved that he had destroyed the man who was keeping you from him.

Bucky opened his eyes again, watching the exchange between you and Eros; the way your hands trembled as you closed them into fists, the displeased look upon Eros’ face.

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t,” Eros grumbled.

Then, your face hardened, a seeming realization passing over you that Bucky didn’t catch onto. You took in an even breath, straightening your shoulders as you turned to face Eros, a purse in your lips as you glanced over Bucky from the corner of your eye.

“Don’t you want the satisfaction that I chose you over him?” you said breathily and Eros narrowed his eyes, waiting for you to continue. You licked at your lips, keeping your eyes trained on Eros. “There’s no reason to kill him. He's not worth the bullet. He’s not worth anything.”

Bucky swallowed back the bile in this throat, an awful pang in his stomach. He knew you were feeding into the man’s fantasy to bide time but hearing the words come from you, in your voice, hurt more than Bucky was able to hide. Eros must have noticed the way Bucky’s eyes darted to the ground and he sneered, urging you on.

“He’s nothing to me. Nothing,” you pressed, urgency in your voice as Eros took another step in Bucky’s direction, gun still aimed at his head. Your eyes widened as Bucky felt the cool metal of the barrel against his temple. “I was- I was using him! He’s nothing but something to pass the time with. You think I would actually want to be with him? An ex-Hydra hitman with a fucked up brain who can’t even get through a night without crawling into my bed? He’s practically a child. I have no interest in babysitting a grown man.”

A grin tugged at Eros’ lips and he let the barrel of his gun drop just enough for an audible exhale of relief to pass over your lips. Bucky clenched at his jaw, muscles aching in the effort. It didn’t matter how many times he told himself you were lying, that you’d never think those things of him, the pain in his chest only seemed to grow.

“Tell him how you really feel,” Eros demanded.

You didn’t respond, though Bucky could feel your eyes on him, begging him to look at you, but he couldn’t find the strength. His name passed over your lips, a breath so quiet he was sure not even Eros could hear it. He had always cherished the way his name came from your voice, like it was something precious, something that could be loved, adored. But now, it was broken, afraid, aching for a forgiveness he had absolved before the words had even left your tongue.

“Say it to his face!”

Harsh hands took a tight hold of Bucky’s hair, sharp pain in his scalp, yanking him up to meet your eye despite his protests. Bucky could do nothing to fight against him, limbs too weak from the remnants of electricity in his muscles. Eros hulled him like a rag doll, gun pressed up into Bucky’s throat. He tried to swallow, but found it too restricted by the barrel.

Your eyes were wide, fear dilating your pupils, unable to speak. Until the echo of the safety clicking off pierced through the silence of the room.

“You mean nothing to me.”

The words spilled from your lips, barely above a whisper. Bucky’s heart ached as you looked him dead in the eye, willing the emotion from your face as you put on the façade for Eros he so craved.

“I don’t want you. I could never want you,” you continued, struggling to keep your voice flat.

“Good, good,” Eros urged you on.

“You’re weak and- and pathetic.”

Tears brimmed in your eyes and Bucky tried to find a way to tell you he knew, that it was okay, that he understood why you were saying what you did, that he could handle it even if it stung, even if the words lingered in the back of his head after this was all over.

These words were never meant to come from you. He'd heard them before, on the streets from strangers, from the men at Hydra, in his own head. He knows these words well. He never wanted to imagine what they’d sound like in your voice, even if you only spoke them to save his life.

“Keep going,” Eros purred, readjusting his grip in Bucky’s hair, forcing him to wince at the sting in his scalp. “You know exactly what to say.”

You paused, a tear slipping down your cheek.

“You’re a monster. You’re broken and irredeemable and you will never be good enough for me.” Your voice cracked as you spoke the words you had once sworn so adamantly against. You had spent months reminding him at every opportunity that he was more than what Hydra made him, that he was worthy of love, that he was a good man with a kind heart who was dealt the worst cards imaginable.

It felt like all of that was being wiped away in a matter of minutes.

Eros released Bucky’s hair long enough to cross the room to kneel down by your side, his hand jutting out to grab a firm hold of your chin, yanking you to face him. He glared at the tears falling down the sides of your face like they had offended him. A snarl slipped past his lips.

“I don’t believe you,” he spat, shoving you back to the ground.

Eros had crossed the plane of the room before Bucky could realize what was happening and he turned on the television, sliding in a VHS tape to the opening at the bottom. Bucky watched you carefully, taking note of the way you couldn’t look in his direction, eyes focused on the floor.

The white and grey fuzz in on the screen soon transitioned into an image of you standing in front of a series of microphones. Bucky narrowed his eyes, watching as Eros hit play and your voice echoed through the room. It was from the day you had defended Bucky to the journalists in front of the ice cream shop. They played iPhone footage a bystander captured of you shoving the college kid out of the line after he and his friend took their comments a step too far, then switched to your impromptu press conference.

“He’s kind and selfless and the best man I know-” your voice rang out before Eros hit pause, rewinding it again.

“He’s kind and selfless and the best man I know-”

“He’s kind and selfless and the best man I know-”

You winced at every line; every scratch of the tape as it rewound to play again. Eros stood with his hands crossed over his chest, a rage building in his eye with every word. He paused the recording and Bucky caught sight of the way your hand clasped into his came into view in the bottom corner of the screen in between transitions in the chyron.

“Does that look like a woman who believes an ounce of the bullshit you just tried to push off on me!” Eros roared, shoving the tv off the stand and it fell to the ground with a thud heavy enough for Bucky to wince. The screen cracked, jets of green and blue obstructing the image of the tape until it flickered and faded to black.

“He’s manipulating you! Don’t you see that!?” Eros crossed the room, yanking the gun from his jeans once again and aiming it in Bucky’s direction.

“No! Please, I’ll do anything!” you begged, a sob cracking in your voice as you threw aside all pretenses of the façade. “I’ll- I’ll stay with you! I won’t try to run! Just, please, don’t hurt him!”

“Pathetic,” Eros spat, kicking away your hand as you reached for him. “You have no idea what he’s done to you!”

Eros straightened his back, a steady breath in as he adjusted the positioning of his weapon, clicking back the safety. “Once he’s gone, you’ll see.”

Bucky was only able to meet your eye for a moment before the deafening sound of the gunfire rang through the encased space. There was a terrible ache in his stomach, though he found he couldn’t quite focus on that with you screaming just a few feet away from him, tears falling down your face as you yanked against the chains binding you to the floor.

He only stared at you, watching intently as a ringing buzzed his in ears, muffling your cries. He wondered briefly why you were so upset when his right hand reached to touch the pain in his stomach and his fingers were coated in blood. Bringing his hand out in front of him, he examined the red glistening against his skin and his vision started to blur.

He slumped down onto his back, a faint chuckling registering as Eros crouched over him. Bucky could hardly keep his eyes open and even through his haze, he knew your face was the last thing he wanted to see when the darkness took him in; the tender look behind your eyes he had come to adore, the curve of your nose, the faded scar on your forehead from your first mission together, the hue of your lips. He just needed to see you one last time.

Bucky turned his head away from Eros to find your eyes bloodshot in red, blood oozing from your wrists, as you desperately tried to reach him with no avail. Tears streamed down your face and you were screaming, words he couldn’t quite understand, as he felt the cool edge of a barrel press to his temple. Eros smirked.

Then suddenly, a loud bang and Bucky watched hazily as your attention diverted to the door. A second gunshot rang out and Eros was suddenly on the floor.

Bucky’s lids were falling too heavy, he could hardly make out the sound of at least four sets of footsteps racing into the room. As he struggled to push his eyes open, he found a blur of red hair, hands working at the cuff on his left wrist with a laser.

His chest felt heavy. Each breath harder to take in. He let his eyes fall shut.

Then, he was being shaken forcefully, his left arm fallen to his side away from the wall, and he jolted his eyes open again to find you hovering over him. Steve stood just above your shoulder attempting to draw you away gently, though you clung onto Bucky with all you had.

Your hands gripped into his jacket, tears falling into his suit.

“Don’t do this! Don’t leave me! P-Please, Bucky! I need you to- to stay awake... Please!” you sobbed and Bucky wanted nothing more than to reach up and brush his hand over the side of your face, capturing the tears with his thumb as they fell, but his arm was too heavy. He couldn’t lift it.

He tried to nod, to tell you he’d do anything and everything you asked, but instead, his lids began to fall. The last thing he saw was Steve lunging down to scoop you into his arms as you kicked and screamed against him, desperate to throw yourself back towards Bucky.

Hands gripped under his body and then, he was floating.

***

Bucky woke to an influx of white light and a steady, high pitched beeping. He groaned, squinting his eyes as he attempted to adjust to the room, only to recognize it as the med bay of the avenger's compound. A quick glance to his left and he saw the red line on the monitor displaying his heart rhythm. To his right, you sat curled up in a chair, your hand grasping his as you slept and Bucky could hear the beeping pick up in pace as he finally took notice of your intertwined fingers.

He sank back into his bed, a semblance of relief passing over him as he let his thumb brush over your hand. Your nose scrunched in your sleep, adjusting your position in this chair Bucky could only wonder how you’d been able to find rest in. The days Bucky found himself in your position, he’d be leaning so far over the bed, he’d practically be on top of you just trying to find a position that didn’t kill his back.

He barely even noticed the lingering ache in his stomach when he looked at you.

“She’s been here for two days.”

Steve stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame as his lips curved into a soft smile. Bucky exhaled, nodding. He should have known. At least someone convinced you to shower and put on some fresh clothes. Cho must have wrapped your wrists as well and attended to the wound on your head. It brought him some peace to know you had been looked after while he slept.

“What happened?” he asked groggily, his voice raspier than he realized. His left hand ghosted over the bandages wrapped around his stomach.

Steve sighed, stepping further into the room, his arms folding over his chest. “Red Wing caught sight of you through a small crack in the foundation of the wall and alerted us to your coordinates, but we were too late. By the time we heard the gunshot, we had just entered the building. Eros was leaning over you, had a gun to the side of your head, and Nat didn’t hesitate to take the shot. Sam untied Y/n and... Buck, you should have seen her. I could barely get her away from you long enough for Sam and Clint to hull you out to the quinjet. She was inconsolable. She really thought you were gone. We... we all did for a minute there.”

Bucky nodded eyes flickering over to you, a semblance of a smile as he memorized the way your hair brushed over your cheek, lips twitching in your sleep. You looked so peaceful like that. He couldn’t imagine being the source of your pain.

“You should tell her how you feel.”

Bucky swallowed, not daring to look Steve in the eye, though he didn’t bother denying it.

“I’ve seen a lot in my time, Buck,” Steve continued, “but, the look on her face when Clint and Sam carried you away, the way she fought me, just trying to get back to you... it’s not something I will easily forget. It was the look of someone who lost everything.”

“What if it changes things?”

“Isn’t that the point?” Steve smiled and he nodded in your direction. Bucky followed his eyes to find you stirring in the chair, your free arm stretching high above your head as you yawned. When Bucky looked back to ask Steve what he should say, he was already gone. So, Bucky found himself waiting anxiously, heart monitor beeping a little faster, as you opened your eyes.

It took a moment before you realized he was awake. Bucky pressed his lips into a thin line, the ends curving up ever so slightly. The shades of your eyes fell upon him and your entire body froze. You sucked in a gasp, and suddenly your breaths were coming in too fast, eyes darting across his face as they blurred in glossy tears.

“I’m okay,” Bucky said carefully, wincing at how broken his voice came out. He squeezed your hand as you brushed the tears from your cheeks. “Y/n, I’m fine, doll. Please don’t cry...”

“I’m so sorry, Bucky... I’m so sorry,” you cried and Bucky felt a horrible ache in his heart. He tugged on your intertwined hand until he could pull you to the side of the bed, bringing you close enough to hold you against his side. Despite the pain in his abdomen, he adjusted himself on the bed, moving over to provide you the room to lay next to him.

“Please don’t apologize, doll, I’m doing just fine,” Bucky soothed as you curled up against him, your face buried in the crook of his neck and he could feel the wet of your tears drip onto his skin.

“He almost killed you, Buck. After- after all those horrible things I said to you,” you shook your head against him, unable to hear him. He’d been in your place too many times, been on the end of an inescapable misplaced guilt and self-loathing, and you’d always known what to say to bring him back. He hoped he could provide even an ounce of that for you.

“I know you didn’t mean ‘em, sweetheart,” Bucky said sincerely, brushing his hand over your forehead to draw the hair away from your eyes.

“But I said them, Buck. I said them and- and then you almost died! It coulda been the last things you heard me say and you didn’t- you didn’t deserve that.”

“Y/n...”

“I love you,” you confessed suddenly and Bucky swore his heart fully stopped. You pulled yourself up from his chest, just enough to meet his eye. You swallowed, your eyes capturing his and he swore he saw a flicker of a smile upon your tear stained lips.

“I am fully, and honestly, in love with you,” you continued, a brightness forming behind your eyes as you spoke that took Bucky’s breath away. “You are everything to me. You’re my best friend, Buck, and I don’t ever want to spend a day without you. I’m... I’m sorry it took until my deranged stalker nearly killed us to tell you that.”

Bucky surprised himself when a chuckle escaped past his lips, easing the tension in your face. You laughed back, the absurdity of the situation finally catching up with both of you. Bucky reached forward, his hand cupping around the side of your face, his thumb brushing along your cheekbone.

“You know I feel the same way, don’t you?” he asked nervously. “I’ve loved you as long as I’ve known you.”

“Really?” you grinned and the genuine shock upon your face only seemed to make Bucky’s stomach weaker. His cheeks started to hurt from smiling. It was a new feeling.

“Sam said I’ve been obvious about it, honestly.”

“Well what does Sam know anyway?” you teased, and even if Bucky’s heart was already filled to capacity, it managed to swell a little more.

Your laugh lingered a little longer, prolonging into the silence that followed, and Bucky’s eyes flickered down to your lips. The gentle beeping over his head pulsed quicker as you leaned in closer to him, eyes darting up to his when he felt the warmth of your breath on his cheeks. With a nod so subtle he wasn’t sure you had seen it, you closed the space between you and then your lips were on his.

Warmer, softer, than he imagined; you tasted of the mocha creamer you drowned your coffee in. Bucky’s hand snaked up into your hair, pulling flush you against him as he bit and sucked at your lips, do desperate to have you near. He grunted as your weight fell onto his wound and you yelped, laughing as you tried to pull yourself off of him, though he wouldn’t budge. It was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard.

“What in the-”

You jumped off of Bucky, wiping your lips as your cheeks flushed red. Bucky chuckled, the ache lingering in his stomach as he glanced between Banner standing in the doorway and you attempting to hide red burning in your face.

“Maybe take off the heart monitor next time, kids,” Banner snickered, shaking his head with a massive grin as he disappeared down the hall again.

It only took one glance over in your direction before your lips were on his again, your body curled up against his side, careful of the wound on the left side of his torso, as he ran his hand along your back. You gripped at his right hand and pulled the heart monitor from his finger, tossing it to the floor. The beeping ceased and Bucky laughed against your lips.

“Think you can survive this, Sarge?” you panted as you peppered kisses along his jaw line.

“I’ve survived a lot in my life. I’m sure I’ll be okay,” Bucky grinned, cupping the sides of your face to bring you back to his lips. He pressed a simple, chaste kiss to your mouth before he pulled back, just enough to memorize the swollen look of your lips and the loving daze in your eye. “But, if this takes me out, I think I’m okay with that.”

“Shut up,” you giggled pushing forward to kiss him again and he didn’t mind one bit.

“You and me, doll. We’re going to be okay,” Bucky mumbled against your lips, drinking you in and reveling in the feel of you. It was heaven. It was home.

You pulled back for only a second, lips red and flushed, and hands grazing over the sides of his face. He’d never seen eyes as warm and loving as yours. You nodded with a smile beaming on your face.

“We’re going to be okay.”

Thank you so much for reading! ❤️ If you enjoyed this fic, please consider supporting me at my ko-fi account ✨

[goneseriesanalysis]

Astrid Ellison

So here are my opinions on Astrid Ellison from book 1. Astrid was the character on which my opinion changed the most, which is why it’s taken me so long to get my thoughts together. Sorry for the length again but it seems I have a talent for ✨rambling✨

Spoilers for Gone by Michael Grant down below

Original Opinion: Astrid was one of my least favourite characters. I remember finding her irritating and self-righteous and honestly couldn’t think of a single good thing to say about her.

New Opinion: Astrid was my favourite character in this book. She had moments where I found her slightly irritating - but I think that was Michael struggling to right a smart character more than anything else. She was so kind and brave and not at all like the emotionless and manipulative girl that I remember hating at the grand age of 14. 

1.) Astrid’s appearance - Astrid is one of the better described characters in Gone. In the first chapter we find out that she “had shoulder-length blonde hair, and liked to wear starched white short-sleeved blouses that never failed to catch Sam’s eye.” This description immediately establishes her as Sam’s love interest, from her being the first character to get a proper description to Sam’s clear infatuation with her. This is perhaps one of the reasons why I’m not a huge fan of their relationship – it was obvious from page 3 that they were going to end up together.  We get three other main descriptions of Astrid throughout the book that really stood out to me:

“Her normally sharp, discerning blue eyes were wide, with way too much white showing” – Chapter 1

“She sat in the big white wicker rocker with her feet propped up on the railing. Her bare legs were blazing white in the sunshine.” – Chapter 20

“The starched white blouses of the pre-FAYZ had given way to t-shirts” – Chapter 28

What really stood out to me in these descriptions is the repeated use of the colour white. Now, in religion white is symbolic of faith, innocence and sacrifice, all of which really seem to fit the characterisation of Astrid. She has a lot of faith in the beginning, not only in God but also in herself. She is relatively confident in who she is and in her place in the world. As the book continues, however, she begins to lose this faith. As she sacrifices more of her time to the care of Little Pete (I really don’t like how Michael constantly treated him as a burden but that is a topic for another post), she becomes less and less confident in her faith and begins to resent what she has become. 

As for Astrid’s innocence, I believe this is more of an insight into how Sam views her as opposed to how she actually is. Astrid is intelligent and brave and caring (although a lot of the time I think she struggles to show it) – but is she innocent?? I don’t think so, at least not in the traditional sense. She has grown up as a parent, been forced to mature faster than other children her age. She is Little Pete’s constant defender, and I think in this way Sam underestimates her. As the book continues, he begins to see this, with her staple white blouses transforming into t-shirts, he begins to see her for who she is. 

2.) Astrid’s Personality and Character - Aside from Astrid’s intelligence and religious beliefs, Astrid has a very well-rounded personality. She is brave and kind-hearted but seems somewhat socially inept, meaning that the softer side of her personality is often hidden by her cool exterior. (I think there is a possibility that Astrid is autistic-coded but I don’t know enough about the topic to develop this point past mere observation). She takes on the role of a mother to Little Pete and this calmer, kinder, and more protective side of Astrid is often shown in small moments throughout the books. Astrid is the first person to offer comfort to Quinn when he realises his parents are missing, and it is only once she does this that Quinn finally allows himself to fall apart (Chapter 2). She places a hand on his shoulder and for the first night is the one who hears out Quinn’s wild theories, instead of shooting them down (cough cough Sam). 

Her relationship with Little Pete is a complicated one. While she often seems resentful about her new position as a guardian, it feels like her resentment towards Little Pete is a way for her to mask her anger at things that are beyond her control. She is furious that the FAYZ has left her without parents, and is even more furious because she can’t truly understand why it has happened. So, to stop these feelings of helplessness, she targets her resentment towards the person she is closest do (as most of us unfortunately do when we feel this way). But despite her anger, her unconditional love always wins out. And this is one of the things I absolutely adored about her when re-reading. Despite her often feeling trapped by her new role in Little Pete’s life, she is still willing to distance herself from Sam, Edilio and Quinn (who are, as far as we know, the closest thing she has to friends) in order to keep him safe. She realises that Little Pete caused the FAYZ in chapter 11 and, even when Sam confronts her, her first move is to defend LP – she is not concerned with what they think of her, only with the safety of her brother. 

Further on in the book, after Drake forces her to call Little Pete a slur, she is horrified with herself. She gives almost no thought to the pain she went through stating that “now she was far more angry at herself than she had ever been at him.” I think this really just shows how devoted Astrid is to her brother and, when you remember that she is only 14 it really is amazing how strong she forces herself to be for him. I began to notice on this read through just how much she neglects her own emotions and wellbeing in favour of protecting others (she even shields LP with her own body when the church collapses on top of them and we get no indication as to how injured SHE is). Once again her thoughts are only on her brother. While I wish she had made more of an effort to communicate with Little Pete in a way that he could understand (the few times she does this in the book, he does respond well and it would have been interesting to develop this side of their relationship more, rather than just the one sided protector/protected dynamic), when you think about her age and the trauma that she must be experiencing, I think she does exceptionally well to stay so kind, patient and collected for the majority of the time.

 One thing that really surprised me the most when revisiting Astrid’s character was her immense bravery. This is a huge part of her character that I had completely forgotten about, leading me to remember her as little more than a typical damsel in distress. While she often uses her intelligence as a defence mechanism, such as in Chapter 15 when she stands up to Diana, in times when a verbal smack down is inappropriate, she is perfectly willing to put herself in danger in order to protect those that she cares about. We first see this in chapter 10 when she breaks up the fight on the highway. We see it again when Panda and Quinn attack Little Pete, with one of my favourite quotes of the whole book, “Did you throw a rock at my brother?’ Astrid yelled. Fearless in her outrage.” It reminds me so much of the Frankenstein quote “I am fearless and therefore powerful” and was the point in the book where my past prejudices got completely wiped away and were replaced by my new love for her. She cares so much about people, and gets hardly any recognition for it. I just want to give her a hug 😥

Another thing I noticed about Astrid, which I thinks fit’s in really well with the idea of her being this awkward social outcast (I mean did she even have any friends before??) is that while many pop culture references are made by a variety of characters, Astrid makes multiple references to historical figures:

“Patrick was named for Patrick Star, the not-very-bright character on Spongebob” – Lana’s pov Chapter 2

“It’s like a roadrunner cartoon” – Quinn Chapter 9

“I’ll bet you’re one of those brainy Lisa Simpson types” – Diana Chapter 14

“Let me guess, you’re secretly a wizard who was raised by muggles.” – Sam Chapter 21

“And this isn’t exactly the time for me to consult Yoda on how to use my power” – Sam Chapter 26

“..an ornate, heavy iron thing that Coates kids joked was the tenth Nazgul” – Jack’s pov Chapter 32

“Too bad Dr Phil’s not around.” – Diana 39

VS

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” – Astrid Chapter 5

“To understand this you’d have to be Einstein or Heisenburg or Feynman, on that level” – Astrid Chapter 13

“Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. I forgot who said it.” – Astrid Chapter 17

I don’t have much else to say about this other than I find it quite interesting and I think it perfectly highlights how Astrid never quite fits in, no matter how hard she tries. 

3.) Astrid’s Intelligence - Astrid’s intelligence is mainly used for world building throughout the first book. It is from Astrid that we learn the full story of the power plant incident, learn that the barrier is a dome and are introduced to the idea of animal mutations, as well as many theories about the outside world/ what caused the FAYZ (although those last theories are a misdirection on her part). This works well for the most part as it means that important information can be spaced evenly throughout the book, without the need for info-dumps. However, sometimes Michael’s attempts to showcase Astrid’s intelligence were, I think, a little on the nose and took me out of the story. The worst offender for this, in my opinion, is in chapter 2 with the line “Is that meant to be a pro forma reassurance or a specific commitment?” This is a really nit-picky complaint but this line just really bugged me as it seemed like he was making her smart for the sake of being smart and it kind of came off as annoying. I know one of her character flaws is her social awkwardness but this just felt too much. I love the way she over-explains and over-analyses things when she’s nervous, and I think her constant referencing to things that the other characters just don’t understand perfectly demonstrate this flaw, but lines like this seemed a little irritating and obnoxious. 

The secondary use for Astrid’s intelligence in this book is as her primary line of defence. Her intellect is something that she prides herself on, but it is also something that separates her from everyone else. People are intimidated by her, and, as a result, she has learned to use her intelligence as a weapon when necessary. This is clearly seen in chapter 14, when Diana tries to intimidate her and Astrid immediately starts asking Diana questions about the cause of the FAYZ (questions that she knows Diana has no answer to). It’s later seen in chapter 22. When Drake begins to bully Astrid into calling LP a slur, she fights back by explaining that said slur is outdated; explaining the meaning of it; and then explaining how it does not fit LP anyway. While she knows that she cannot use her physical strength, her intellect is something that she can weaponise in certain situations in order to protect herself and those she loves. Her proficiency in this tactic also leads me to believe that Astrid has probably been in similar situations before. Everyone in Perdido Beach seems to know about LP. Is that why she has no friends?? Has she distanced herself from her peers in order to protect LP from their ignorance, whether consciously or not??

4.) Astrid and Religion - I don’t have as much to say about this, as I’m not religious myself and have very little understanding of Christianity (Or Catholicism – I’m actually not sure which Astrid is meant to be so if anyone knows I would appreciate it), but I feel like this is a such a huge part of who Astrid is that I had to at least mention it. One thing that I do like is Astrid’s seemingly constant battle between her scientific beliefs and her religious beliefs. While she does believe in God, she won’t accept him as an explanation for the FAYZ, and still looks for a scientific answer. Her relationship with religion seems to act as more of a moral guideline rather than a fundamental belief system. She looks to God for guidance and support in times of trouble, such as at Bette’s funeral (Chapter 17), as she is being chased by Drake (Chapter 24) and when the church is collapsed on top of her (Chapter 45) and seems to be convinced that her morality is directly tied to her faith. However, she relies on facts (things she can explain and control) for true comfort, and doesn’t allow her faith to interfere with her action. I think these ideas are perfectly encompassed by this quote from Chapter 40 “No. I believe in free will. I think we make our own decisions and carry out our own actions. And our actions have consequences. The world is what we make it. But I think sometimes we can ask God to help us and He will.” – And I am quite excited to see how her faith/ loss of faith changes her perceptions in the later books. 

5.) Astrid’s Role in The Book - For the most part, Astrid has three main roles in this book:

- To act as LP’s protector

 -To act as a source of plot-relevant and world building information to the reader

-To be Sam’s main motivation is becoming the leader

And this, in my opinion, is a phenomenal waste. Astrid was the perfect candidate for the leader of the FAYZ, and giving the role to Sam made no sense?? I think what Michael was trying to do was suggest that Sam had to be the leader instead of Astrid because, while Astrid is the intelligent one who knows how to work people, Sam is the one who people look to when things go wrong. (Think of Katniss and Peeta’s dynamic in The Hunger Games). But, it just doesn’t work. For one, we know that what the people of Perdido Beach think has very little effect on leadership. There was no uproar when Caine took over. Were people scared and upset?? Yes. Did they run to Sam’s aid and rebel against Caine?? No. So why should it matter whether they prefer Sam to Astrid – Sam could still be the hero without being the leader. In fact, I think it would have made both characters so much better if this was the case. Also we know that in times of crisis, people DO look to Astrid. Albert’s cat anyone?? Furthermore, Astrid’s ability to use her intellect to play on people’s emotions is a much better match for Caine’s easy charm than Sam with his flame throwers. I mean please. Astrid has a cool and intimidating exterior that actually hides a well of deep emotions that she can pull from and use to manipulate people into doing things they never thought they were capable of (we mostly see this work with Sam in this book during the fire, chapter 4, and the first time he controls his powers, chapter 28). Caine has an easy going and charming exterior that hides his lack of empathy, allowing him to use people for his own gain as he sees them as expendable. They are such PERFECTLY MATCHED OPPOSITES. But no. Michael wanted the leader to be Sam because?? Fire?? Ugh. Even when the question of who will take over if Sam poofs comes up in chapter 40, NOBODY EVEN MENTIONS HER. Astrid suggests that Edilio takes over and that’s that. (With that being said I do find it interesting that Astrid basically chose both the leader AND the backup leader but still. Let her live up to her full potential Michael.)

I think I’ve pretty much covered the first two bullet points in other sections but I’ll just quickly mention her part in Sam becoming the leader. It’s very clear from the fire onwards that Sam being in charge is Astrid’s main goal. Is this so that Sam can protect her?? Maybe. Idk. But it kind of frustrates me that she is broken down into Sam’s love interest towards the end, rather than coming into her own role. We are constantly shown that she is the main reason that Sam is becoming the leader, and this is even explicitly stated when Sam tells his mother/the gaiphage that he has “someone I have to stay here for” – chapter 46. I think the book should have ended with Astrid taking on her own role (as the leader obvs but I would have settled for something smaller or, you know, ANYTHING), instead of her just becoming Caine’s human shield. I do have more to say on this topic but I feel like it falls more into the relationship category so I’ll leave that for a later post.

And I’m not even going to talk about her powers past saying: what was the reason?? As far as I can gather Michael wanted a reason for Astrid being so insistent about Sam taking on the role of leader and so gave her a weird power and then decided hmm no. 

Thank you so much for reading and I would love to hear all of your thoughts on Astrid. I think I’m going to do Caine next but who knows.

[ao3feed-sambucky]

Southern Surrender

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/pnt6AaY by Jmarvel24 **Set after the events of Haunted** Bucky Barnes is finally moving on with his life. He's a successful congressman. He's dating Sam Wilson, Captain America, and falling deeply in love. He finally has a family to call his own that that love and support him. He's FINALLY beginning to move past the trauma and torture of past events, beginning to relax and enjoy the life he's worked so hard for. But when a trip to visit Yelena in a rural town in North Carolina goes sideways and reveals hidden secrets that Bucky has kept buried, everything begins to come crashing down around him. Will the gang be able to pull Bucky back from what's to come? Or is this time really the end of everything he's worked so desperately for? Will he lose everything and everyone when the truth is revealed? Words: 5943, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Series: Part 2 of The Haunted Chronicles Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Captain America (Anthony Mackie Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Joaquín Torres (Marvel), Yelena Belova Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Joaquín Torres & Sam Wilson, Joaquín Torres & Sam Wilson (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes & Yelena Belova & Joaquín Torres & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Joaquín Torres, James "Bucky" Barnes & Yelena Belova, Yelena Belova & Joaquín Torres Additional Tags: Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, POV Sam Wilson (Marvel), Established Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson Loves Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson as Captain America (Marvel), Bucky Barnes Loves Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson Fluff, Caring Sam Wilson (Marvel), Sam Wilson Takes Care of Bucky Barnes, Hurt Sam Wilson (Marvel), Bucky Barnes Takes Care of Sam Wilson, Domestic Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson Bickering, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Protective Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Feels, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Bottom Bucky Barnes, POV Bucky Barnes, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Traumatized Bucky Barnes, BAMF Yelena Belova, BAMF Bucky Barnes, BAMF Sam Wilson (Marvel), Joaquín Torres as the Falcon (Marvel), Adorable Joaquín Torres (Marvel), Joaquín Torres is So Done, Joaquín Torres & Sam Wilson Friendship (Marvel), Bucky Barnes & Joaquín Torres Friendship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Angst and Romance, Romance, Action & Romance, Porn with Feelings, Angst and Porn, Drowning, Torture, Implied/Referenced Torture, Past Torture, Post-Movie: Captain America: Brave New World (2025), Movie: Captain America: Brave New World (2025), Drama, Idiots in Love, Shameless Smut read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/pnt6AaY

[justreadingfics]

Looking For a Heartbeat (21/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to be in a relationship. Feelings were hurt, you left.  It’s been two years and you’re back. You both will handle the reunion well, won’t you?

Word Count: 2.8K

Warnings for this chapter: fluff, medical procedures that might be poorly written, birth, sappy moments that made this author cry a bit.  

 A/N:  Thank you @suz-123 for being so amazing. Links are messing up posts, you can find the masterlist link on my description.

Beautiful and magical.

That’s what you’ve always heard about giving birth. So far, all you’ve been feeling is excruciating pain and sheer panic.

After the water break, medical help was quick to get to you, since you were already at the med-bay. Doctor Nadine got there in record time and after examining you she said you were ready to give birth, despite you hadn’t even reached the 30th week. She offered a C-section, but also said the baby was in the right position and by how your dilation was progressing quickly, she thought a natural birth would be suitable. You said yes.

Damn you.  

Ugh, there it goes again.

Your face contorts into a grimace and sweat rolls of your forehead while strays of hair plaster all over. A guttural growl comes out of your lungs as another cramp twists your insides. You grip the hand in yours harder.

“How about those meds now, huh, sweetheart?” Bucky’s sweet and filled with concerned voice does little to soothe you while he carefully brushes the damp hair out of your face. Despite being recently shot, he only snarled at suggestions of resting and letting you be, at least for a moment. Not for a second he left your side and, if you’re gonna be honest, you’re grateful for that tight hold on your hand. “It’s time, isn't it, Doctor?” He addresses Doctor Nadine, who’s giving directions to nurses.

“Let me check one more time,” She hurries to put on a new glove and examines you as you breathe fast. “Oh, yeah. Right on time.”   

“Yes-ah-yes, please.” You groan and the grip in his hand grows even stronger as your head drop back in the chair. As much as you have thought about it before, the arguments to go completely natural seem like a bunch of stupid ideas right now when you’re so close to start pushing and you have no idea how you’ll live through the agonizing pain you’re already feeling, “Just give me anything.” You plea, eyes squeezed shut.

“It’s ok, it’s ok.” Bucky soothes and nods at Doctor Nadine.

“Ok, hun, hang in there. Our little soldier is anxious to come out,” She answers and moves to prep the medication.

After another, and powerful, contraction tightens your belly, you position yourself for analgesics to be applied under Bucky’s protective and vigilant eyes. You glance at him and he gives you a small nod and a sweet smile, offering his hand for you to hold again as he whispers for you to breathe.

Leaning back on the chair once again, you take in a deep and long sigh. You accept Bucky’s offer of his hand, but can’t quite respond to the smile. Yes, you’re in pain, but what’s been worrying you the most is how soon this is all happening. Doctor Nadine said that your body probably wasn’t being able to go on with the pregnancy anymore and that’s what caused the water to break after you exhausted yourself. Despite the assurances that the baby is fine and perfectly ready, you’re terrified. All you want is for all of this to be over soon so you can see for yourself their little face and make sure they’re safe.

Bucky is putting on a serene and strong façade for you, but you know he is just as worried. Nevertheless his presence is calming and a reminder that you're not alone to face whatever. He’s there with you and he’s the perfect partner for the mission of bringing your child to the world.

“Ok, mama,” Doctor Nadine stands at the end of the chair, “You’re ready to go.”

“That’s it, sweetheart.” Beside you, Bucky whispers close to your ear, “Just a few more moments and we’ll meet our little peanut.”

Yes… he’s right. You finally smile back at him.  “Ok.”   You nod at Bucky and  then at Doctor Nadine, “Let’s do this.”

~ ~~

Push… Push…Push…

Scream. 

“You’re doing so good, Y/N. We’re almost there.  A few more.”  Doctor Nadine encourages you.

Push.

You cry.

“Breathe baby, breathe.”

You focus on Bucky’s secure touch and his comforting voice and push again.

When you feel like you’re combusting in heat, Bucky rests his cold metal hand on your forehead and you breathe at the much needed relieving sensation. Much better than any wet washcloth.

You breathe. 1,2,3,4,5… Push.

You almost crush his hand when the ache coiling your core becomes unbearable. Fucking useless meds…

“Oooo, I can see a little crown.” The doctor’s words make your heart race even more.  

You and Bucky look at each other. In his eyes you catch the anxiety and excitement, the same feelings fuzzing your chest.

Push… Push….Push.

“I can’t...  I can’t anymore.” You sob, shaking your head, when exhaustion and pain take over all the other feelings that had been giving you the courage to keep pushing.  

“Yes, you can,” Doctor Nadine urges, “You’re doing so good, I bet that with another big one or two you’ll be able to see your little baby.”  

“One more, my love.” Bucky kisses your temple, gently whispering, “One more… You’re the strongest person I know. You can do this.”

Crying, you turn to him and at the sight of tears misting his gentle and expectant eyes, you nod, before pushing harder than ever, screaming all the air out of your lungs. The most powerful pain and pressure you’ve ever felt washes over you before it’s completely vanished. In a mix of exhaustion and relief, you pant. Letting your head fall back, you notice Bucky gasping beside you.

The sweetest sound of a cry fills up the room.

Your head snaps up and everything around you fades away.

A girl. A beautiful baby girl.   

Seconds later, Doctor Nadine places your baby in your chest and you’re already sobbing again. Not from pain anymore. Her little chubby face is scrunching up with feverous crying and time stops at the moment she clenches tightly her tiny fists to the air. You gave life to a child. Your whole heart out in the world. You fall in love immediately. You count every single little finger and she’s perfect. She’s perfect, big, and strong and beautiful.

You know right away this is the magic you’ve been hearing so much about. And it’s worth it. Everything you’ve gone through to get to that moment is completely worth it.

You take your eyes from her to look at Bucky and the expression you see on his face as he watches the little bundle of love in your arms will be forever engraved in your heart. The extraordinary feeling in your chest is intensified by the pure adoration in his face watching your daughter.

His daughter.

He brings his flesh hand to her chubby cheeks and you know immediately you’ve given birth to a daddy’s girl, because her crying turns into little sniffles before it ceases completely at her dad’s touch. 

“Our little girl,” He sobs with an enamored gaze stuck on the perfect little creature nuzzled against your chest, “Summer.” He smiles through his tears. “Our little Summer.” His watery eyes find yours.

You frown and, noticing the love lacing his words, a speed up film flashes in your mind. All the pain he’s been through, the life that has been taken away from him, the horror… How he overcame all of those years of cold and harsh winter and somehow continued to be the best man in the world. Seeing the sheer happiness on his face, you realize how much he deserves it. More than anyone.  Light is the only thing that should be in his world after all the darkness.

You smile. “Summer.” You forget all the name options you had thought about before, “It’s perfect… Our little sun.   Hey there, Summer, I’m your mama,” Your voice is shaky as you look at your daughter and she blinks, quietly observing you and Bucky with her big and already curious blue eyes. Just like her dad’s. You’re doomed.

You turn to him at the same time he does. His forehead leans against yours and, just like the most natural thing in the world, the kiss happens. It’s chaste, pure... and it tastes like forever… a kind of forever you’ve never experienced before. There’s no other intention behind it than to put into action the strongest feeling you’ve ever felt and shared, having your baby in your arms. When it’s over, quickly after it begun, your foreheads remain linked for a little while more and easy smiles adorn the lips of both of you.

After the doctor quickly dries off Summer, she offers Bucky to cut the cord, which he promptly and eagerly accepts, doing it without an ounce of hesitation. When she’s wrapped around a small blanket, you notice Doctor Nadine opening a curtain, revealing those waiting at the other side of a big glass window.

You smile at your friends, your family. You start crying all over again and wave at each one of them. Steve, Nat, Wanda, Sam, Vision, Tony, Pepper, Clint. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of Bruce, Thor and Carol, who had been long gone into space up till now. Laughter takes over you at the sight of some of them in pajamas while others in tactical gear.

After all the brave but exhausting work she’s been through with you, Summer is already sleeping against your chest when Bucky carefully takes her in his right arm, holding her like she’s the most fragile and valorous thing in the world, which she is, but doing it like a pro, which kind of surprises you. You have never seen him holding a baby before. After taking his time staring down at the precious little person with that adoring stare that belongs to her now, he turns and slowly steps closer to the window.

It’s almost comical to see the group of mighty superheroes come close together to get a better peek at your baby girl. You spot Steve, Nat, Wanda and Tony crying, Sam snapping some pictures with his phone while the others chant words of admiration and stupid grins. 

Your smile is just as stupid as theirs.

~~~

Later that night, you tried to breastfeed Summer – which turned out to be harder than you expected and a bit frustrating, but in the end you two managed to make the colostrum start to come out. Doctor Nadine told you she was born with 20 inches and a bit more than 7 pounds, which would already be big for a regular newborn, but it was amazing for a premature baby. She related it with Bucky’s genes but, apart from that, nothing else seemed out of the ordinary. She would keep running tests, nevertheless. You tried not to worry and focus on your beautiful and healthy baby. After all of that, both of you fell to slumber, which you knew it wouldn’t be long before you would have to feed her again.

Now, you’re only half-awake when a low and sweet whispering reaches your ears.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Peering through your barely opened lids, you see Bucky through the dim lights in the room. It must have been less than an hour since you slept. He’s holding Summer, who remains peacefully looking up at him as he slowly rocks her and paces around the room. Still not fully awake, and for completely selfish sneaky reasons, you decide to stay unnoticed for a little while longer and listen to the soft interaction. 

“Just like your mama… did you see how beautiful she is?”

You can hear the smile through his words as your heart twirls inside your chest and your lips curl up a bit. A warm wave flushes up to your cheeks.

“I was so happy when I found out you were a girl,” He continues whispering, “Don’t get me wrong, I would love you just as much anyway,” He’s quick to add and you can’t hold back the smile to come out fully, “but then I knew you would be just as perfect as your mama, and you are. I love you so, so much. I’m your daddy you know? And I will always be there for you, to keep you safe and happy and kick whoever’s ass you want me to.”

You suppress a laugh – because you know he’s telling the truth - and he stays quiet for a moment, just gazing at Summer in his arm. You can’t help but notice that, despite not showing hesitation in holding her, he hasn’t really touched her with his metal arm, always using it only as a support for the flesh one. You make a mental note about it. 

“Your mama loves you, too, you know?”

You suck in a breath.

“You got lucky, my little sun, you have the best mama in the world.” He smiles down at the quiet and observant newborn, “I’m gonna tell you a secret, but you gotta promise you’ll keep it, ok? I lo-”

Deciding you already have intruded enough in a moment that doesn’t belong to you, you yawn loudly and stretch your arms, making your awaken state noticeable.

“Hey,” You smile at him, carefully sitting up straight on the bed.

“Hey, did I wake you up?” He slowly walks over you.

“It’s ok,” you shake your hand, smiling, “I think it’s about time to feed her again. Is she awake?” You straighten up your neck to peek at your baby daughter, whose eyes remain on Bucky.      

“Yes, she whined a bit a few minutes ago, but then I picked her up and she got ok.” He can’t even hide the pride in his words, “You needed the rest, so I let you sleep a little more.”

Moving to the side of the bed, you pat the space you make for him and he promptly sits beside you, always careful in his moves while holding Summer.

Her eyes meet yours and then you become her new object of interest. You wonder if the emotions spilling inside you at her sight will cool down at some point… Probably not.

“Hi, sweetheart,” You scratch her little belly.    

“She looks just like you.” Bucky mumbles, not tearing his eyes away from her.

“She has your eyes,” you say, “She’s perfect isn’t she?”

“Yes she is. Just like you.” His eyes meet yours, “What you did tonight…It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I always knew you were strong but that was just a whole other level.”

You have to take a moment to breathe, but you did hold back the tear to run down your face under his intense and devoted gaze. “It was worth it.” You whisper, as your words come out strangled, “I can’t believe we did it.” You add.

He scoffs. “I did nothing.”

You place your hand over his flesh one supporting Summer’s little back, “I wouldn’t have done it without you, Bucky.”

“Yes you would’ve.” He states, holding your gaze to his.

“It wouldn’t have been the same.” You state back, just as firmly as him. 

He swallows and nods shortly as a small smile shapes his lips.

“Our daughter… Can you believe it?” Bucky turns back to Summer.

For a long moment, you both sit in silence, admiring the little one in his arms. And that’s when you realize the truth in that old saying… everything happens for a reason. You wouldn’t have changed a thing in your past if it meant you would get to that moment. That perfect quietness among the three of you, that extraordinary feeling of sheer love…  

“We’re doomed. She’s got us wrapped around her tiny little finger, doesn’t she?” You cut through the silence and sigh, deeply, as you caress her hand with the back of yours.

Bucky chuckles, but before he could answer Summer starts fuzzing and his little face scrunches up before she starts crying. A loud and angry cry to put her first one to shame as she wiggles her clenched little fists to the air.

“Someone is hungry.” You laugh quietly and reach out your arms.

Promptly, but carefully, of course, Bucky hands the baby to you. He gets up from the bed as you adjust yourself and Summer to start opening up the buttons of your gown and nurse her.   

“Can- Can I stay?” Bucky asks tentatively, fidgeting with his fingers.

You look up at him and smile, “Please….” You nod, “Please, stay, Bucky.”  

~ ~~

Part 22 coming soon (ish)

[winchest09]

The Bunker Party - Debrief

Hey everyone!

Our bunker party was an absolute blast. It was one filled with laughter, smiles and support and it warms my heart to see so many of your faces each time we do this. This party went in many different ways from fanfiction to urban dictionary - to seeing some of the SPN family’s best dance moves. It was a TREAT. 

6 and a half hours we were talking…SIX AND A HALF and again, I loved every single second. It was so nice to see so many gorgeous faces, and I’m so happy that so many of you joined us! The support from you guys for each other, the love in this fandom; I can’t express how much I adore it.

Me and @katehuntington​​​​ love holding these events and we are already planning the next live stream (date to be announced) but it will be in July. 

This is the lowdown for the The Bunker Party! Sorry it’s a little late, I’ve been ill! 

Below you will find:

Everyone who joined - their tags, what’s coming up fic wise and their masterlist.

A Challenge to join 

Blogs who want to help with your writing

Alpha? Beta? Omega?

Want a link breaker?

Fic & blog recs

Announcements

So without further ado… *cracks fingers*

To everyone that joined…

You are the guys that make it the live stream what it is.  So below is a list of everyone who was on the chat last night accompanied by their masterlist and what they have coming up soon! In no particular order…

@katehuntington​​​: Kate is currently working on the next instalment of Ride With Me and All I Want. She’s been teasing us with little ideas that keep popping into her head too...

Her masterlist can be found HERE

@flamencodiva​​​: This babe is currently working on a multitude of things and we are super excited to see them come out. We have her brand new fiction ‘What could have been’ as well as Call of the Ocean and many others! 

Check out her masterlist HERE

@whatareyousearchingfordean​​​: Alex is currently writing the epilogue to her Jensen fiction Et Cetera AND she has decided her next fiction!

Firefighter Dean x OFC Marina. From what we’ve already heard…it sounds amazing! I won’t give away any plot points that we were told just yet but it’s one to be put on your watch list! 

Her masterlist can be found HERE

@superfanficnatural​​​:  This babe is currently working on the next chapters of The Bringer of balance as well as the next chapters of The Choice! Also still thinking about his knight of hell x demon dean fic which just sounds so good.

We’re living for it!

Go and give him some love, his masterlist can be found HERE

@emoryhemsworth​​​: This beaut has broken her lil hiatus and posted the sequel to Because of You. Piece by Piece is amazing and if you haven’t read it yet, i suggest you check it out. She’s also writing her first chapter of her series idea. 

Check our her masterlist HERE:

@malfoysqueen14​​​: This lovely lady is new to the Supernatural fandom and is trying her hand at writing fanfiction! Her first fic “White Flag” is Dean x OFC and it’s going in a very interesting direction! Worth a read!

She hasn’t yet got a masterlist but you can check out White Flag HERE

@waywardbeanie​​: This absolute gem of a woman has JUST posted her very first fanfiction and it’s an absolute DIAMOND. Dean. Letters. Fluff. Smut. It’s gonna tick all them boxes and it’s a must read!

You can find her masterlist HERE

@janicho88​​: This lovely lady has written some lovely stories already and has a few things on her list that are definitely worth a read! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

@soaringeag1e​​: This lovely lady has a lovely full masterlist of things for you to dig your teeth into! There are series, oneshots for Jensen, Dean, Jared, Sam, Misha, Castiel...

You can find her masterlist HERE

@smol-and-grumpy​​: Nat has such a juicy masterlist. We were thrilled she joined us on the chat. From Dear Dean to Light My Fire, you will find series that will make you smile, make you cry and will make you want to cool yourself down because they are that smuttastic. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

@manawhaat​​: This babe joined us for the first time this time and we loved having her! Below you can find her humongous masterlist of goodies for your reading pleasure. Her most recent works being an A/B/O oneshot called “Howl”

You can find her masterlist HERE

@crashdevlin​​: Another lovely new face this time to our chat and we are all enjoyed having you there! This babe is another writer with a very large expanding fic list. If you haven’t read any of her work yet, hop on to it! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

@jensengirl83​​: She is new to the chat this week and new to the spn world of writing. Yet she’s already got a few fics under her belt! Fancy checking them out?

You can find her masterlist HERE 

Me: I’m currently working on two series, Life for Rent and Man’s Best Friend! I also have a couple of Dean series being worked on in the background as well as a couple of oneshots…I have already posted two. One being called Pay Attention and the other called Wet Enough. 

My masterlist can be found HERE:

To the new writers/readers…

Remember guys - we’re all here to love and support you! My inbox is always open if you want to talk fics, want me to look over one etc.

@peaches007​​ @cherry3point14​​ and the few nonnies we had!

We love you, we thank you for reading and we thank you for all the support and love you give us constantly. Thank you for joining the chat and we hope you had an amazing time <3

Go and follow and give them some love!

————————-

Ohhhh yes! 

We have two of them for you too! 

Firstly, the darling @flamencodiva​​​​ is holding a celebration in regards to reaching 1700 followers!

Not only is she hosting a character take over on her blog she’s also posted a writing challenge for all us writers out there! This challenge is still ongoing!

Check it out HERE

Secondly, the wonderful @deanwanddamons​​ & @impala-dreamer​​ are holding a joint challenge. The “I Do Understand That Reference” Challenge. 

Fancy guiding Sam, Dean or Cas through another French Mistake type event? Take a look at the movie list and get yourself signed up!

Check it out HERE

————————- 

Need Help with your fic?

We’ve got you covered!

Need to has out a plot with someone?

The lovely @malfoysqueen14​​​ has offered herself up to be a plot buddy to anyone that needs it. Stuck on a plot point, want to talk through a story line with someone? Give her a message! She’s here to help <3

Need help with research for a fiction?

The most wonderful @waywardbeanie​​​​ has offered herself up to be a researcher for anyone who wants help with their fiction. She has been a die hard SPN fan forever and she’s like the Ellen of our live stream.

Need a researching buddy? Give her a message! She’s a doll <3

————————-

Alpha? Beta? Omega? 

On this livestream, the topic of A/B/O was brought up and we did discuss it in length and detail about what was involved. Now this may not be a genre for everyone and that is absolutely fine.

However for those that are interested in exploring this genre of fanfiction, we highly recommend you check out @kittenofdoomage​​‘s A/B/O universe HERE.

She’s broke it down and has gone into detail to explain it for those that wish to read and/or write it. 

We hope it helps! 

————————-

Fancy yourself a Supernatural Line Breaker? 

We got you! 

Our fabulously talented @talesmaniac89​​ has drawn up so MANY supernatural themed line breakers for your free usage! 

She has two posts full already!

Check them out HERE and HERE

Give them a like, a reblog and please THANK HER if you use her work. She’s a good egg <3 

————————-

Fic & blog Recs!

In our live stream, we want to highlight what we’ve been reading and the amazing authors behind the words. So below is a list of all the fics that we recommend for some good ol fic binging!

Fic Recs

That Day Again by @jensengirl83​​

Summary: Dean tries to comfort the reader. 

Happily Ever Eventually by @crashdevlin​​ Summary:  Reader begins working on Supernatural. She makes fast friends with J2 and after months of flirting becomes something more to Jensen, whose wife is not usually the jealous type. When she gets a small part in a MCU anthology, she meets Tom Hiddleston and things get more complicated.

Fool For Love by @crashdevlin​​

Summary:  Y/n is an omega whose world was flipped upside down when she presented late. She was practically a hermit for years, only going out to socialize once a week. When the Winchester brothers walked into her life, it flipped her world again…but not really right-side up.

Stay by @evansrogerskitten​​

Summary:  Dean is the future Alpha of the Winchester pack, a wolf/human hybrid race that has roamed their land since the first howl under the moon. Dean is the ideal Alpha; strong, smart, and brave. There’s just one thing missing in his life - his future Second, the Omega he’s yet to find. Life for Rent by @winchest09​​

Summary:  Y/N can be anyone for a price. Her life is ruled by contracts, men and money. It’s all she knows; countless identities, seedy clients, and strict regulations. She has to obey the rules, but her past is full of secrets and her future is resting in the wrong hands. But will her next client be the same as the rest?

Et Cetera by @whatareyousearchingfordean​​

Summary: Jared’s younger sister agreed to help out for a few months when one of Supernatural’s makeup artists takes her maternity leave. Trying to juggle her new job and her burgeoning brand, she turns to Jensen for comfort. Can their relationships survive Jared finding out that his best friend slept with his baby sister? Ride With Me by @katehuntington​​

Summary:  Alternate Universe (AU) in which the reader is a horse rider who goes to a ranch in Arizona, owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. She’s there to gain work experience, but then she meets wrangler Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family.

PHEW! I definitely think we have enough fics on here to last us for a few days if not weeks!…don’t you? ;) Please guys don’t forget to give these writers some love when reading their fics, comments, reblogs, asks. It means the world.

————————-

I think that’s it!

Thank you so much once again to everyone who joined the chat, we had 6 hours of laughs and i cannot wait to do it again. I’d appreciate it if you could share this to spread the love of the fics and authors on here!

Keep an eye out for the next date for our next livestream! It will be in a couple of weeks, date to be announced. If you guys have any idea’s or want something included, let us know. If you want to be tagged when we announce, let us know!

See you next time!

xox

[neveratease]

Why did I become a fan of Mr Jared Padalecki?

                               How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Do not fear. I’m not time travelling to the Victorian era, though my situation is quite the same. I can’t articulate all that I feel towards you with the help of a few words. But, I can try, can’t I? After all, it’s your birthday and I should at least try and accentuate the gratitude, respect and affection I feel through my unpolished words even if you wouldn’t know it.

I turned 25 years old last April. And in my not so brief life of 25 years, I have never been a fan of anyone or anything. I had my likings but they were all temporary and I haven’t found the depth that a fan has in the relationship with his or her adored idol. I never had an idol and if I’m being honest I still don’t. I’m not trying to offend you, believe me. You are not my idol because you are my only friend. I know how insane that sounds because you don’t even know me and I don’t know you either, not really. But that doesn’t dismiss my feelings of companionship towards you... 

Without being a whining child, let me just say that my whole life has been a series of pain-filled occasions and that’s nothing new. In this unfortunate world, there are a lot of people who are in far worse condition than I am. But that’s not the point. The point is, we are all trying to escape that somehow. But if your mind closes even that door, there’s not a lot you could do. Anyway, last year the nightmare took its highest leap and I was struggling to say the least. Then Supernatural came and I started to empathize with Sam from the very first episode. Sam Winchester made me feel again, he cut through my numbness. 

Still, my adoration for Sam did not make me a fan of you immediately. No no no, I don't fall that easily for that puppy eyes of everchanging irises (well, maybe a little). But, what made me find my friend in you is your liveliness, your vitality and your sheer will against all that you have endured and still bearing... What startled me the most was how a person like you, larger than life as you are can go through such pain. You don’t deserve that. Nobody does...

I guess, your openness about your own fight made me realize that how strong and brave you are because I know how terrifying and humiliating it feels to ask for help, let alone do it in front of hundreds of people. I respect you so much for that, you wouldn’t know... I often picture you as my older brother whose hand I’m tightly holding during times of excruciating pain. 

Your laugh, your strength to be vulnerable and sweet, your versatile talent and strong-will and so many excellent qualities I can’t begin to acknowledge give me solace. Yes, solace, momentary but it does make me feel less alone. I'm not strong like you and that’s not your fault but mine. I am sorry for failing you in every way, in everything that you believe but I still couldn’t bring myself not to thank you.

Thank you for the past one and a half years that you’ve been a part of my redundant life. I may not have succeeded to fulfil all that you believe and try to make us believe but I’m here and you were part of that. You helped me tolerate. You help me every day as a silent supportive friend, as a protective brother and for that, I’m eternally grateful to you.

So, that’s why I became a fan of yours, Mr Padalecki. For being you. For existing just the way you are, an unabashed force of life. I hope, you receive all the love, respect and peace that you deserve. Though I am incredibly sad to think that I won’t see you after this season that much and I don’t know what I would do, I sincerely wish you all the best for the new journey that awaits for you with all its promises.

Happy Birthday, Jared...

Yours not-so worthy but devoted fan

[Gif is not mine]

[loki-hargreeves]

Bucky x Reader - Forfeit [PART 1]

Summary: You and Bucky are happily together until he has to leave for war. A few months later, you receive the news no one wanted to hear; he’s gone but his body was never found. A letter James wrote to you made you suspicious of his alleged death. Determined not to give up on the love of your life, you investigate and find out about HYDRA. Only, there’s a bump in your way of investigation… Warnings: Implied smut, fluff,  mentions of war, angst, vulgar language Word Count: 3,1K (sorry that this part is so short!) Author’s Note: This is supposed to be a mini-series (3-5 parts) but it might get out of hand. Feedback would be lovely! Let me know if you want to be tagged :)

Your POV Brooklyn, New York City, 1943

“Do you think the future will really be like this?” I asked my boyfriend, James, as we strolled through the Stark Expo. It was night but the place was full of people who were curious to see the inventions and predictions made by Howard Stark himself. We were joined by Steve, James’s best friend and one of mine too. He happily walked along with us although I was leached onto James’ strong arm. We had just seen Howard present us with an early version of a flying car. It didn’t go so well but it did levitate for ten seconds.

“We’ll have to wait and see, sweetheart”, James answered me with a happy smile. Something about that made butterflies fly in my stomach. Just the thought of sharing our future years made me happier than I could ever explain.

Perhaps, it was fair enough to say I was madly in love with him.

But then the crashing horrors of reality slapped me in the face. Our future together wasn’t certain. The world war could take him away from me, which I hated to think about. As I looked at him, tall and handsome in his uniform, my heart clenched in my chest. My sergeant was going on duty soon.  If he was taken away from me there, I wouldn’t handle it. 

James noticed me staring so he stopped walking. Now he was standing right in front of me. I wanted to wrap myself around him again because the sun was long gone by now. I was only wearing a blue sundress and heels. As if he read my mind, he took off his army green jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders. “Don’t worry about it tonight, please. I know it’s hard but I hate seeing you worried”, James sighed. It was miraculous how he noticed my mood changes just like that.

Steve stopped a few feet away and he put his hands in his pockets that were way too big for him. I shot a glance at him and smiled, feeling sorry I was slowing these two down. Then I returned my gaze to my lover and I tried to relax. “I’m sorry, Bucky. I just don’t want to wake up to a day without you”, I admitted sadly.

“You shouldn’t worry about that. You know I’ll always come back to you, right?”

“I know.”

James cupped my face and pressed a warm kiss on my forehead which made me giggle. “Come on, I heard there’s a dance nearby. Steve, there are plenty of girls- Steve?” James suggested we’d go dancing but as he turned around, Steve was gone. How on earth did he get lost in five seconds?

“He’s probably trying to get enlisted again”, James realized after a while. Then he pointed at an Uncle Sam poster, that said ‘I want you for the U.S. Army’ and above it was a sign that pointed to a recruiting spot. 

Bloody hell…

“Oh Steve”, I sighed and grabbed James’ hand. We both knew he wanted to serve his country but we both also knew his health would kick his ass probably much before the enemy would. No matter how many times he was denied, no matter how many times we sat him down and told him he could get in serious trouble, he just didn’t learn. He was determined, he deserved to be called that.

“Just- fuck, wait a second. I’ll go in there”, James sighed, apparently frustrated. I understood why and I didn’t bother stopping him. So we headed to the recruitment place and I waited a few feet away as James got inside. Steve wasn’t far away so I heard parts of the conversation. “Come on…” I heard Bucky’s attempt to get Steve to join us. After all, tomorrow life would be completely different again. It sounded like Steve wasn’t going to listen to Bucky this time either. Now they were fighting about Steve’s future, whether he should collect scrap metal or if he would actually get accepted and possibly killed. I couldn’t just stand there and let them fight. 

“Are you guys coming or?” I called out for them, catching their attention. James turned around and smiled. 

“Yes, we are!” He said and turned to Steve once more. He still didn’t budge. I crossed my arms and looked around them. That’s when I noticed that some old man was staring at them as well. He had grey hair, round glasses and a suit with a prestige tie. How odd. Before I could think about it any further, James seemed to be ready to join me again.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back”, I heard him say.

“How could I? You’re taking all the stupid with you”, Steve shot back playfully, which made me smile. These two were like brothers. I found it adorable, really.

“You’re a punk”, James told him as they hugged. After that, he came back to me and Steve got himself into trouble, most likely. James wrapped his arm around me and we walked away from the recruitment. “Do you think Steve from Ohio will get caught?”

I giggled at that. Ohio. “I have no idea, Bucks. Let’s hope he doesn’t.” 

We walked towards the place where the dance was. Apparently, there was a bar there. It was themed futuristically to fit the expo. From outside, we heard the fun dance music and we saw the lights. People’s laughter carried outside and overall, it had a fun, vibrant vibe. I couldn’t wait to get inside and let loose for one night. “Come on, Bucks!” I tried to drag him with me. He laughed softly at me but for some reason, he didn’t follow, so I stopped and looked at him with confusion. “What?”

He looked at me with a big, bright smile and affection in his eyes. His gaze nearly made me blush. “Have I told you just how beautiful you are tonight?”

Had he hit his head? “Yes, about a hundred times”, I reminded him with a smile. Even though we had been in a relationship for over a year, he still knew how to make me flustered.

“Make it a hundred and one, you’re absolutely gorgeous, Y/N.”

“What’s this all about?” I wondered curiously. He seemed happy yet a little nervous. Was he still thinking about our earlier conversation about the war or was it something else…?

All of a sudden, James got down on one knee. The sight of him kneeling right in front of me, in front of all the people out here tonight, nearly made me jump out of my skin. Was he proposing? I covered my mouth with my trembling hands and held my breath. He was searching his pockets desperately but he didn’t seem to find something. Nevertheless, it didn’t shut him up.

“Will you marry me, Y/N? You’re the love of my life and I can’t imagine spending the rest of my days with anybody else. When I picture my future, I see you. It’s always you”, James poured his love and affection he had for me into the sweetest word I had ever heard. This moment was magical and I could hardly believe my eyes. My sweet, funny, handsome, brave lover was down on one knee. The sight was straight from my fairytale dreams!

“Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you!” I answered his proposal with happy tears in my eyes. James’ face lit up and he got up with the biggest smile. Without saying another word, he picked me up by my waist and spun me around. I giggled at his excitement and because the spinning tickled my belly a little bit.

“Oh my god, thank god. I was so scared you’d say no!” James revealed his worries to me as he put me down. How could he not see I was absolutely head over heels in love with him?

“What on earth made you think that?” I asked him, shocked.

“I don’t know, you’re just so goddamn perfect and sweet and I’m hardly at home these days-”

“Shut up and kiss me, future husband!” I teased him, with tears of joy ruining my mascara, but I didn’t care. He obeyed gladly and kissed me ever so eagerly. Sparks of joy spread throughout my entire body and for a moment, I felt genuinely happy. The people who had witnessed the proposal were clapping and cheering us on. 

We were going to get married! 

As we kissed, I felt how he put his hands in the pockets of his jacket that he had put around me. Then he broke our kiss and I saw why. He found the ring box!

“I was going to open this while I was down on my knees for you but I forgot it in my pocket”, he explained while pulling out the beautiful, silver ring with a diamond in the middle with beautiful carvings around it. He grabbed my hand gently and I noticed we were both trembling a little it. He put it around my ring finger after struggling a little bit but once he got it on, it fit like a glove. I couldn’t believe he wanted to tie the knot with me, but it felt absolutely fantastic!

“Do you like it?” James wondered as we both adored how the engagement ring looked on my finger and how the diamond sparkled in the many lights that surrounded us. Oh, did I like it?

“I love it, Bucks. It’s stunning!”

My answer seemed to please him because he smiled and kissed my cheek. Instead of pulling away from me, he moved closer to my ear. “How about we dance and celebrate properly afterwards, hm?” He suggested to me with a deep and raspy voice that sent shivers down to my core. As we stood there, he grabbed my right hand and my waist and began to sway with me. We barely heard the music but we didn’t care. His suggestion was truly tempting. If it wasn’t for the massive crowds around us, I would’ve gladly had him right here.

                      It was late when James and I arrived home. He picked up on on the porch and carried me inside bridal style, which had me laughing like an idiot. We had been getting touchy on the dance floor and one thing led to another. So we grabbed a cab and headed home. Poor cab driver, he almost had to witness our childish behaviour in the backseat. Now that we were home, we were inseparable. 

“God, I want you so bad”, James groaned hungrily. He put me down on our bed and he crawled on top of me, attacking my neck with kisses. His lips were soft against my warm skin and it felt amazing. 

“I’m right here, James”, I told him seductively. He looked up to my eyes and smirked. Oh, if only I could read his mind right now.

He climbed up my body until his face was right above mine. His stormy blue eyes looked into mine and I genuinely felt a connection. My heart was racing, beatingbeatingbeating, my body was almost quivering with anticipation. We both wanted, needed each other. Right now, nothing else mattered. We were just a couple, madly in love and greedy for each other. There were no wars, no duties, no nothing, just us. “I love you, Y/N”, James let me know softly. Those words sounded better each time I heard them.

“I love you too, James, so much”, I said it back and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down so I could kiss him. I would do anything to stay in this moment forever. Soon, his hand snaked underneath my dress and he took it off with ease, like many times before, and he threw it somewhere on the light, carpet floor. The night was spent exploring each others’ bodies, devouring and caressing, kissing and biting, hissing and clawing, and by making sweet, sweet love. We made sure our yearning desires were satisfied, multiple times. We confessed our love many times and I found myself praising his name like it was the only word I remembered. We were one, fully and completely. There was nothing between our aching bodies that needed one another. Absolutely nothing kept us apart that night. He managed to make me forget about tomorrow, and the days after that.

“James! It feels so good!” I moaned to him while I was underneath his sweaty body.

“Fuck- you’re so stunning, Y/N. So perfect..”

 After hours of raw pleasure and love devotions, we fell asleep in each others’ arms, bodies covered in evidence of our fiery love and affection. 

                  The day I had grudged waking up to was here; James was leaving. Apparently, so was Steve which I simply didn’t understand. He was chosen for a special program that he briefly mentioned earlier in the car on our way here. I had listened only half-heartedly because I was sick worried about both of them.  Sure, they would be at camp but I knew James was experienced. They would send him first in line, to missions and it scared the hell out of me. Now we were waiting for their ride which was pure torture. I tried to hold back my tears, which was difficult. I didn’t want to make James feel worse than he already did.

The platform at the train station was full of couples, even soldiers with their worried mothers and fathers. Some were here with their little children. Obviously, it was hard for everyone.

“Hey”, James wrapped his arm around me which snapped me out of my thoughts. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and I faced him. God, he was beautiful. I didn’t want this to be the last time I locked eyes with him, nor did I want it to be the last time he held me. “Don’t worry, darling. I’ll come back to you.”

“You can’t be sure, Bucks. What if-”

“Don’t, please”, He pressed a finger on my lips, gently, but it was enough to shut me up. For the first time in a while, I saw that he was concerned. My heart twisted in my chest. He must’ve felt terrible enough about leaving. “Sorry, love, I just don’t want to imagine the bad alternatives. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It’s okay, I get it”, I sighed and decided to hug him. James took a deep, shaky breath and wrapped his arms around me strongly. Something about the hug made my emotions harder to hold back. My eyes watered and I felt the familiar sting in my nose. My tears were threatening to spill. It was dangerously close. The scent of his cologne didn’t help at all. I’d have to buy a bottle of it and spray it around the house to feel less lonely. Maybe it was crazy but I didn’t care anymore.

“I’ll write to you whenever I can, okay?” He suggested which made me feel slightly better.

“And I’ll reply as fast as I can”, I promised him. “Take care of Steve, will you?” I added quickly. Just as I was worried about James, I was worried about our friend. I was afraid the other men would pick on him like they already did here.

James chuckled softly, “Of course, I’d never let him get in too much trouble alone.”

The loud whistle and chugging noises from the train interrupted us. My heart jumped to my throat and I held onto my fiancé a little tighter, afraid to let go if this was the last time. He hugged me back a little tighter and buried his head in the crook of my neck. That’s when I failed to hold back my tears. They slid down my face and I whimpered sadly. 

“I’m so sorry, love. I wish I could stay with you, m'lady”, James kissed my wet cheek and spoke between kisses. The train’s braces screamed until it stopped beside the platform. 

“Be s-safe, please”, I whispered because my voice barely carried. He nodded and put his hands on my waist, parting from the hug. Then he closed the distance between us by kissing me. It was so bittersweet; my tears mixed with the kiss that could very well be our last one. It was so full of love and desire. I deepened the kiss by holding onto his face and pulling him closer. We were so close it almost hurt yet we yearned for more. We parted when we had to breathe and the two men had to get on that train. 

“I love you so much, so so much”, I let him know as we broke our kiss. James grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder. Even he had glossy eyes now. No matter how many times we said goodbye, it never got easier. This time was different. We were engaged. Also, I had a terrible gut feeling about this all which made everything worse.

“I love you too, Y/N, to the moon and back”, He told me and then he had to get going. I waved goodbye to him and Steve. Steve gave me a sympathetic look as he saw my tears.

“I’ll keep my eyes on him for you, Y/N. Stay safe!” He promised me kindly, which felt nice. 

“You too, Steve.”

I watched as the two of them got on the train and as they disappeared among the other soldiers. I pushed my way through the other woman so I could catch a glimpse of them through the windows, hopefully. After looking around desperately, I saw James. He pushed his head through the window and searched for me. Seeing him up there scared me halfway to the grave but I had to admit I was proud of him, my soldier. Once he spotted me, he smiled and waved. I waved back just as the train began to move again. The speed of the train made his hair move with the wind a little bit, making it messy. Thankfully, he wasn’t wearing his hat or else it would be long gone. We kept eye contact until the train was too far away. I stayed on the platform to watch the train disappear until I was alone. 

I really hoped James and Steve would come back in one piece.

[PART 2 - coming soon!]

TAGS: @twigleektribute23 @sadly-falling-through-wonderland    @iraniq  @embrycallsgirl  @blackroseyaz @badass-psycho  @r-alexandra01 @p3aches13  @myfakeescape