#and his nuclear dumpster trashfire murder dad

[darthstitch]

How to Deal When Your Spooky Homicidal Nuclear Trashfire Disaster of a Supreme Commander Sith Lord Adopts A Child

(Inspired by @jackdaw-kraai 's Excellent Engineer Luke Skywalker 'verse)

1.  There's about a dozen of the vod'e who have been fans of Scrap Hunting from the very beginning.  Look, the kid was funny, poked fun at the same things they laughed at, albeit on the downlow, as it were, and the half of them that weren't really mechanically-inclined still found Luke Lars entertaining.  Actually, Force help them, they did end up learning SOMETHING.

2.  The 501st are also responsible for bestowing nicknames on Engineer Luke's veritable army of mouse droids.  The little guys are now fondly considered as "pets" and apparently have distinct personalities all their own.  The most infamous mouse droid is the one nicknamed "Stabby" who apparently has made it its mission to follow Darth Vader around.  Surprisingly, His Lordship doesn't mind the company and has been heard to ask the droid to relay messages to its young maker.

3.  The pilots on Lord Vader's shuttle knew what was up the moment their Lord had come back with the wide-eyed farmboy from that backwater sandpit.  Mental images of a giant black asthmatic Corellian duck fussing over their one duckling were NOT healthy things to think about in the presence of a spooky armored mind-reading space wizard so the pilots carefully thought about other things.   Like tooka kits.  Yes.  Tooka kits with sandy fur and big blue eyes.  Totally safe things to think about!

4.  Look, Trooper MTV-15387 a.k.a. Molotov wasn't sure why his Special Brand of Corellian Moonshine Hooch was suddenly the hottest commodity on board.  One of his brothers finally told him it had something to do with that engineer kid from the Outer Rim and Lord Vader.  Molotov doesn't get it, really.  But hey, business is booming and if General Veers himself actually ordered a case of his Specials, then it was all good, right?

Molotov was a bit surprised to get a "thank you" note from Alderaani Senator Bail Organa himself, congratulating him on the "excellence of your vintage."  Apparently, General Veers was generous with the treats.  

5.  Death Squadron would like it known that THEY were the first to officially adopt Head Engineer Luke Lars because of the amazing work he'd put into making sure their ships were less flying coffins and more of the badass war machines of the glorious Empire that they were supposed to be.

6.  The 501st would like to object to that.  The Goran was theirs and they were definitely keeping him, especially after the wild success of the SUTA project.  

7.  Captain Piett does not want to get into the midst of this argument.  He's fairly sure that Lord Vader has officially adopted young Luke Lars.  Piett already has all the necessary Navy forms ready for filing whenever His Lordship gives the word.   He's also gotten the same forms ready for Veers, once young Zevulon gets on board ship.

8.  Captain Piett carefully does not think about overprotective Correllian ducks and their ducklings in the presence of his mind-reading Supreme Commander either.  Even if young Luke does an incredibly good impression of a happy sunshiny duckling.  

9. Piett is just happy that Lord Vader is now mostly calm and contented enough that the ongoing betting pool of "Who's Going To Get Choked to Death Next" has quieted down.   Mostly.  Okay, so the odds are definitely on Admiral Ozzel for the whole choking business and there were a few good-natured grumbles after news of That Incident at the Imperial Ball spread through the ranks.  "Why'd the kid have to stop His Lordship then?!"  

Piett carefully pretends he hasn't heard that.  

10.  Perhaps the happiest amongst them all was The Lady Herself.  All right, so Star Destroyer A.I.'s weren't supposed to develop such distinctive personalities of their own, but then again, mechanics tended to behave and react strangely around people who happen to be Skywalkers, even if one of them pretends he's forgotten all about it and the other is carefully keeping the name secret.  The Lady had been pleased with this little one's clever hands and quick mind, the way that he had carefully sorted through all that needed to be fixed and repaired, the marks and traces left behind by careless hands and the battles the Lady had fought.  The Lady was very pleased that Her Shadow had finally found the little one.  Her Shadow had existed in pain and grief for far too long.  

She had always known that there was still good in him.

- end -

A/N:  Yes, I really went there.  I regret nothing, I tell you.  NOTHING.  The Lady Ex has Opinions, okay?

Stabby the amazing Space Roomba is a Tumblr Legend. I had to pay my own tribute to him.

This is the result of me trying to tide myself over until the next installment in the Guides 'verse! :P

Read it all here:

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1902145