#and himself and likely just doomed Curly to die 20 years later with immese burn and frostbite based injuries alone and heavily tramatized

[dykedvonte]

you have a really good grip on the themes of Mouthwashing, so maybe you can help me with something I haven't been able to make sense of.

it's pretty clear that Jimmy doesn't care about Anya, he doesn't have a grief hallucination after she dies, and when she locks herself in medical his only verbalized concern is that she might hurt Curly.

so I'm a bit confused as to why initially when they break into medical, her dead body is included in the big blurred out area Jimmy can'tbear to acknowledge. is it just because she died so close to Curly?

I like it think it represents his sense of losing complete control over the siatuion.

Jimmy used Anya and Curly as sort of a buffer for his actions and in that moment neither of them could be used to fix this. Anya couldn't be blamed since she was dead and this is an action all his own, can't use Curly as an out, this can't be directly or indirectly linked to him. Them being blurred is sort of him not being able to see their current use.

Another interpretation I have is Jimmy not being able to confront actual guilt about Anya. It's sort of the oppisite of the cockpit scene with her and Curly. Curly was likely only invisoning Anya's pain which is why she was the only thing on the screen. He is concerned she will hurt herself, not anyone else (this goes both ways). Jimmy only thinks she would be as selfish and bitter as himself and hurt Curly, whether to spite him or vegence for crashing the ship is up in the air in his mind. Realizing and subconsciously admitting his actions have consequences that affect people when she sees she killed herself.

It's mostly brought on by concern for himself, admitting he did this to Curly and what's happening with Daisuke. He's trying to block out his worse actions in that moment and can't focus on his two biggest ones.