#and her shipping every two characters who stand next to each other

[starlightsearches]

Hi Star! Huge congratulations on your 2k milestone - it is so well deserved!!

Could I possibly get "Let's Hear it for the Boy" with our beloved ginger general?

Thank you so much and congrats again!!

Drunk / In Love

Track 3: Let's Hear It for the Boy by Deniece Williams - Give me a character and I'll write a short blurb or headcanons on how they would want you to show them that you love them. 

General Hux x F! Reader / 📼 ✨ mixtape milestone ✨ 📼

Thanks for the request, my love! Sorry it took me so long!

The idiots from these two stories are back again. Sorry I'm obsessed with them (I'm not sorry at all). Warnings for some minor sexual content and weird consent issues!

Phasma said you were drunk.

What she failed to mention was how—how drunk you were, or how you ended up that way. It was only supposed to be a friendly dinner when Hux first suggested it (and didn't stop suggesting it until Phasma finally gave in).

He thought if you made connections here—even just one—that it might make you more comfortable being with him on this ship, and so far from anything familiar.

Although this might be too familiar.

He reaches the door to Phasma's quarters and they glide open automatically, programmed to recognize his approach. He sees Phasma seated at the table, out of uniform, a smirk playing on her wine-stained mouth.

Armitage is not prepared for the dark flash in his peripherals, or the arms around his neck.

Your embrace frightens him, and that alone is enough to leave him feeling hot, stomach swimming, even when he recognizes your touch on instinct. It has him weak at the knees, just this, has his heart in his throat as all the alarm and panic well up inside him, threatening to spill out.

Then your lips meet his. 

There's been a handful of almost-affectionate moments shared between you. The brush of your hand as you wished him goodbye one morning. A kiss on the cheek that missed its target, landing at the edge of his lips.

But nothing like this.

Hux can feel your mouth shift against his, lips turning up at the corners, and the little laugh that passes through them—maybe at the way his hands hang limply at his sides, or the crop of perspiration blooming at his collar from the warmth of your skin, the smell of you. He can't make himself kiss you back, although he wants to.

He really, really wants to.

There's no malice in your eyes when you pull away—Armitage doesn't think you're capable of malice. You smile at him sweetly, taking his hands in both of yours.

"I missed you," you tell him, each word bleeding into the next, eyes half-lidded and hazy from whatever you'd been drinking, "did you miss me?"

"I- uh, yes," he answers—unavoidably honest—his eyes flitting towards Phasma, who's so pleased with herself it practically drips from her, hanging heavier on her shoulders than the armour she usually wears.

A hot anger floods through his stomach, spiked with acrid shame. He doesn’t need any witnesses to his inept attempts at marriage.

Your smile widens, every facet of you bursting with delight knowing that he’s missed you in the hours since you last spoke his name, and then he’s back in your embrace, the sound of sweet laughter in his ear. 

He reaches out for something to brace himself on, and finds nothing. It takes everything in him to keep standing. 

Armitage peels your arms from around his neck, putting a desperate inch of distance between himself and the press of your body. 

"Why don't we let the captain get some rest?" he asks.

Your enthusiasm at the suggestion turns his stomach into knots.

He's able to usher you through the empty halls at a speed just short of a jog, one hand at your waist to keep you from stumbling, and the other wrapped firmly around your wrist to stop any further attempts at touching him.

And, though he can’t puzzle it out just yet—with the warmth of you still against him—he knows something is wrong with you. Something that wine alone could not bring on.

Armitage knows you don’t want him. Not like this. 

Yet you practically drag him through the doors of your quarters, mouth planted against his before the mechanical lock whirs into place. 

All the desire in him makes him sick—feverish and weak. His body shudders against yours, nerves trying to break through skin at the gentleness of your touch.

“Armitage,” you whine, pouty in a way he’s never heard before—always so polite and obliging when you’re sober, “kiss me back.”

He couldn’t refuse you, even if he wanted to, even though he knows it would be better for both of you—knows the way this memory will torture him endlessly, until the moment he dies. Maybe long after that. 

But still, he cups your face in shaking hands, and presses his uncertain lips to yours.

And it’s nothing like all the times he’s thought about this—about taking you, feeling the warmth of your breath mingling with his own, pulling you tight against him with his arm at your waist and kissing, kissing, kissing you, until he tires of the feeling, until he rids himself of all his hideous need to be loved and to be wanted. 

It’s nothing like he imagined because he’s terrified. Because he can’t manage to move the ways he wants to, tripping over his feet when you stumble deeper into his chambers. Because his stomach roils at the feel of your tongue against his stubbornly closed mouth, and his arms shake with the need to move, but his hands stay where he placed them, holding hard enough to bruise, pulling you closer with enough force that part of him wonders if he’s hurting you. 

And still, your mouth on his, your wandering, eager hands. 

The room spins; Armitage’s reason leaves him when his feet lift from the floor, your body underneath him, and below that the cushion of his bed molding you together.

Still kissing. Still you. Your hand, guiding his down the thrumming pulse of your neck, lower. Lower.

Armitage is on the other side of the bed before the thought of how wrong what he has done truly registers, his feet planted and one hand pushing back the fallen strands of his hair.

 “Armitage?”

He curses the day you learned his name, curses the ill, vile part of him that wants to go back. 

He clears his throat and finds it doesn’t steady him at all. 

“You- you should get some rest, I think.”

Your movements are clumsy as you crawl to him on your knees, fighting against the thick bedspread and the fabric of your skirt. There’s a little huff on your lips when you reach him, eyes big and wide and brimming with glistening tears. 

“Why don’t you want me?” you whisper, and tears well up to their breaking point, slipping down your cheeks.

Fuck. He wants to touch you, and knows it’s a terrible idea, palms aching beneath the leather he wears and hates—now more than ever when it keeps him from you. His hand reaches out against his will, hovering just out of reach of your skin and the tears he can’t manage to wipe away because, once again, he is the cause of all your suffering. 

 “You’re- you’re drunk, darling. You’ll feel better if you just-”

“No,” you tell him, pushing his hand away with your own, “why don’t you want me ever?”

Oh, gods. Armitage recoils like you’ve slapped him, the sting of those words and what they mean destroying everything—every moment he’s agonized over since he first saw you and knew you had to be his. 

“You . . . you can’t possibly believe that.” 

You nod your head, fists curled at your sides petulantly, and your stubbornness would make him laugh, if it weren’t so sad.

“I do,” he whispers, then swallows, reaching for your hand. You let him take it. It gives him something to look at, watching your elegant fingers intertwine with his. “I do, but I—”

How much of this will you remember? Even now, the idea of revealing this soft, vulnerable part of him strikes fear into his very core, has him wishing he could run, wishing he could escape the way your eyes flay him wide open.

Your hand against his chest, he can feel his own heartbeat meet the shapes of your fingertips, molding to you. Armitage meets your gaze, and as frightening as it is, there’s no part of him that could deny how deeply he craves it.

“Please forgive me,” he stutters, and there aren't words for him to explain everything he needs to, just the truth. “I am—oh, gods—I am a ruinous man.” 

He watches you, the muscles working in your jaw, the way your brows pull together, examining him, weighing the assessment of himself that he’s offered to you. 

“No,” you tell him, “no you’re not.”

He thinks you might kiss him again, as close as you are. Close enough for him to count each of your lashes, map the constellations you’ve hidden in your eyes. 

You drop to the mattress instead, and the look you give him has him holding back a laugh, the mix of stubbornness and grudging deference that has Armitage wondering how hard it’s been for you to play at obedience in your union.

“You should change,” he tells you, just resting on the edge of the bed, “you’ll be more comfortable.”

It’s easier to talk to you when you’re like this. It has Armitage feeling like he’s the one intoxicated, and he is, in a way. Because what if this is your most honest self? 

He didn’t think you could make him love you any deeper, but you’ve managed. 

“Don’t care,” you mumble into the pillows, trying to brush him away with a waving hand. He takes it in his own.

“You’ll ruin your dress.” 

There’s a look of intense focus on your face, and he wonders if you’ll refuse again. Maybe you don’t care about the dress either, although Armitage would be disappointed. It’s one of his favorites from your incredibly extensive wardrobe—a beautiful black and cream confection that always catches his eye.

But you shift instead, turning to look up at him. “Kiss me.”

Stars, not again. Not now, when the weakest parts of him are so palpable. “I- I don’t-”

You flop into a sitting position, hold a single finger up between your faces.

“One kiss,” you concede, “okay?”

He nods, despite himself. You wait patiently for his approach, still and hardly breathing through your parted lips as he slides closer. Armitage keeps his eyes open, and so do you, heavy as they are, watching the distance between your faces fade into nothing.

It’s not like the other times he’s kissed you, although all but one had happened only a few moments ago. You let him set the pace, his lips just barely brushing your own, a sigh bubbling up from deep inside his lungs. He can only offer a little more pressure before he’s lightheaded again, little bursts of light dancing across his vision.

He pulls back from what could hardly be called a kiss, and waits for your disappointment, for your insistence that he try again, that there must be something more, or better, that he’s kept from you. 

Armitage doesn’t want you to know that there’s nothing else to hope for. 

You don’t say a word about it though. Just flop your arms out in front of you, waiting, satisfied in your demands.

“Help me.”

And it passes like that, with more bribes in the form of barely-there presses of his lips to yours—a kiss for you to raise your arms as he slips something soft and oversized over your head, a kiss for you to clumsily remove the dress from underneath. A kiss to get you to leave him for a moment while he changed into his own night clothes after you’d begged and begged for him to spend the night beside you, and a kiss upon his return.

It feels like a lifetime of kisses to Armitage. He doesn’t know what that number would be for anyone else, but you’ve certainly exceeded it for him. He could die in his sleep tonight and have more than he ever deserved. 

And now you’re curled up beside him a hand at his waist, your head on his chest. Armitage breathes, but only barely, hoping he won’t wake you. 

The tension drains from him, his body the closest it’s been to relaxed in ages. He wonders if he should ask Phasma to invite you to dinner again.

He hopes the next time he kisses you, you'll be sober enough to remember it.

[sparklingcid3r]

are you a tim and darry shipper? if so, PLEASE share some hcs of them

YESSIR I AM‼️ oh my days i’ve been dying to yap about them bc i’ve been obsessed 🙏 i won’t go into how i think they actually found out about each other’s man-kissing tendencies bc im thinking of writing a fic abt it (if it doesn’t happen then i’ll write abt it here lol) but here we go‼️ ooc? perchance🤫

- Incredibly private relationship. Neither of them want a single soul to know

- So naturally they get walked in on by Pony

- “You said you locked the door” “It’s not the same kind of lock we got at my place” “It’s a lock” “That you never even use” “Do you know how to lock my door?” “Do you know how to lock your door?”

- (It’s not Tim’s fault tho because not even Pony remembers which way to turn it, he’s just jiggling it until it clicks. Seriously, why would anyone need to know?)

- Darry’s idea of being romanced is coming home from work to see Tim doing the dishes while playing Darry’s favorite Ricky Nelson records in the background.

- Just sweep him off his feet, Tim, why don’t you🙄

- Fr tho acts of service is Darry’s love language, catch him SWOONING when Tim says he’ll pick up Pony from school and then come back to help him dig leaves out of the gutter. Most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to him

- Idk if Tim has a love language, but maybe it’d be quality time. Even if they aren’t saying anything, he just likes hanging out and unwinding with Darry at the end of the day

- If they haven’t been able to see each other for a while because of Darry’s long ass work days, Tim sometimes visits him during his lunch break at work, just to talk and catch up. He brings two bottles of ginger ale because he knows Darry can’t drink on the clock, but could stand to crack open a cold one

- They’ll go and watch the rodeos together when Dally is jockying and Soda’s doing saddle bronc

- One time he came home to find Tim, Pony, and Soda very heatedly yelling at the soap opera playing on the television. They made him swear to secrecy before letting him join in

- Lotsss of stab wounds in the coaster next to the couch. Darry only got it after one too many accidents with Tim not remembering that the Curtis family doesn’t just bury their blades into furniture when they’re particularly emotional

- Darry actually gets along well with Angela, they have pretty similar music taste. He’s also telling her which teachers she wants for which classes, and also the best spot to park to pull out of school quick before traffic builds up

- Darry wants to spend some time at Tim’s place, but Tim refuses nearly every time. His parents are always drunken, high crash outs when they’re home and the place is just a mess. He’s a purebred hood, but he’s also the only one trying to run a tight ship around there for his siblings’ sake

- Tim bounces around from job to job, he never really found a rhythm anywhere. Darry once sat down to help him hunt, but Tim’s better suited for odd jobs anyway, so that’s where his money rolls in from

- Definition of power couple. They’re mean asl in solo fights but put them on the same team and it’s lights out

- There’s an on-going bet on the East side about who would win in a fight between them

- Darry and Tim know about this and also get into arguments about it

- Love the idea of characters who are described as things such as “feline” or “deer-like” or “spider-like” etc etc also act like those animals, so the minute Tim was described as cat-like I knew that in my head he’s taking naps and when he gets up, he does the full body, hands in the air stretch until every bone has popped and he’s got just slightly longer canines than usual, “blink and you’ll miss it” slight. Darry thinks it’s hot

- They’ve mutually agreed to never accept gifts from each other because they’re too proud but also too insecure about money and don’t want to be leeching off the other

- Tim doesn’t sleep on the Curtis’ couch unless he’s in rough shape from a fight the night before or he wants to catch Darry in the morning, but more often than not it’s because of a fight. Pony and Soda only know about a fraction of the times Tim has done this and just think “damn darry ur bf’s gay asl for u”

Gang i love them sm it’s not even funny this is so serious for me😭🙏

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

📖⛵🐑 thank you <3

there’s not enough work for my my man wojchek out there.

In This Moment, We Could Crash Together - Wojchek/Reader

Warnings: Female reader, no use of Y/N, fluff.

Wordcount: 1540

Summary: He was only with you for a short while, but maybe you could keep him if he let himself keep you.

Notes: I was going to attempt sleep again but I cannot resist my jolly sailor bold 🥰 Wojchek was the first character I actually shipped with, back when I was slowly falling in love with DD and the few roles I'd seen, so I kinda waxed poetic with this one 🥰 thank you sosososo much for sending this one right before bed, I hope you enjoy 💗💗💗

You sometimes wondered what he was like when he was out at sea on the Demeter, when he was the captain of his own ship and everyone followed his every command. You could only guess as you watched him give orders from the windows of your dockside home or from the busy street down below, everyone bustling around like ants and keeping you from getting too close. You only truly knew what he was like in moments like this, when he made port for a day or two to rest and resupply, never back for longer than a week.

The two of you were currently on your bed, his long body draped between your skirt-trapped legs as he rested in your lap, your idle hands carding through his long hair as he slept.

He was always tired when he returned home, never showing it in the early days as he courted you with all the confidence of a man who knew the sea but not love, but now that you’d been together a few years he let you see this side of himself more often, not afraid to appear weak or vulnerable in front of you anymore. It made your heart soar every time he trusted you enough to close his eyes a moment, to relax on solid ground where it made him miss the ebb and flow of the waves, the unpredictability of the sea always bringing around the uncertainty of when he’d return to you next.

He didn’t have a home of his own other than the Demeter, and before he’d met you he used to sleep on board, not wanting to waste the money on a room when it could be used for better things, the promotion to captain giving him someplace more private for the first time in years. When you’d suggested he stay with you after a few months of meeting in the alleys along the docks he’d refused at first, for to spend one night would make this feel real, permanent, a temptation to stay. You promised him then that you’d never make him choose, you could never, knowing of his first love and how you could never compare to her, your eyes barely holding in your tears as he’d then lifted your hands to his lips and pressed soft kisses to your knuckles as he told you that the sea wasn’t his only love anymore.

He had no possessions to leave with you, nor any guarantees that he would return sooner than a month, if at all, most of the time, the two of you just needing to trust that he knew what he was doing and that his crew would help him finish the voyage. When he left and you were alone in your flat once more there were never any traces of him there to remind you of him, nothing but the memory of seeing him in all the places he no longer was. Over time it became painful to watch him walk out your door so you’d started standing on the docks just to be able to hold him for a few seconds longer, and each time you parted you felt like he was talking a part of you with him as you watched the Demeter sail away until it was nothing more than a speck on the horizon.

Neither of you spoke openly of love after that first time, but you knew deep in your heart that you were in love with him every time he returned back to you, arms open and waiting for you to rush back to him before time could tear you apart again.

He stirred but didn’t wake as you brushed the backs of your fingers tenderly over his cheek, feeling the rough stubble and wishing you could kiss him, but to attempt to do so would disturb him and that was the last thing you wanted. He usually dreamed so fitfully when he was on land but today he was calm, the two of you choosing this location since your old couch was too small for him to stretch out on even by himself, and as soon as you’d pulled him down to situate himself he’d almost instantly fallen asleep. It must’ve been a rough voyage for him to be this exhausted, chest rising and falling under his hands as they rested over his torso, the sight almost hypnotizingly rhythmic as you watched him.

Eventually you did have to wake him, though, your stomach grumbling against your will and rousing him from sleep before you could give him just a few more minutes. The sun had set a while ago now, the warm breeze carried from the water growing cold and making you shiver but he hadn’t noticed, used to it after so many years. He looked around before his eyes became adjusted to the dark, you weren’t able to light any candles with him laying on you after all, his head falling back against your stomach as he remembered where he was.

He mumbled something in his native language as he watched you, a small smile on your lips as you brushed your hair out of your eye in embarrassment. ‘I don’t understand,’ you admitted, his hand reaching up to caress you the same way you’d done to him.

‘I said, “you’re so beautiful,”’ he repeated in English, your cheeks flushing at the sudden sentimentality. It wouldn’t be proper to tell him how beautiful you thought he was in return, even though it was true, settling for handsome as you leaned forward until you could press a kiss to his forehead; you were stopped from sitting back up as his hand then found the back of your neck, keeping you close long enough to give you the kiss you’d been wanting, like he’d been able to hear your desires even in his sleep. ‘We make way for Barcelona tomorrow,’ he reminded you even more suddenly than his sentimentality, your faces still so close that you couldn’t even attempt to hide how you felt from him.

‘It’s so far…’ You hated the jobs that brought him away from you for more than a month, several weeks needed to get there, let alone return.

‘You promised to never make me choose,’ he reminded you, voice low but not upset, and you tucked your hair behind your ear as you sat back against your pillows.

‘I won’t,’ you reassured him, but still he pushed himself up to sit and look at you.

‘It won’t be as long as last time,’ he said, already knowing down to the day how long it would take, the markings of a great captain. It filled you with pride to think about it but still you wished you could go with him just once, just so the wait wouldn’t have to feel like an eternity. You could never share that secret desire though, it would be too much to ask for from him, so you can only look away, stay silent. He shifted himself over your leg so he could crawl up to the pillows, now laying beside you as you were the one to be lowered against his chest, his arms, toned and tanned from many years of rising in the ranks until he was where he was now, wrapping around you and reminding you that he was still there, he wasn’t leaving just yet.

His hands were rough from a lifetime of labour but they still touched your cheek so softly it felt like an ocean breeze, his breathing calm as you gave in, got comfortable against him, your hunger forgotten as you mesh together effortlessly. You played with one of the holes in his shirt as he brushed your hair out of your face, mirroring you without realizing in a way that only a lover can, and when you try to hold his hand he brings it up to his lips, kisses each knuckle before hesitating on your bare ring finger.

Your hands found a place on his lap, his thumb running over the space and drawing your attention to it, the topic of the future just as elusive as the one of love in the days you were able to spend together, that silence finally broken as he laced his fingers together with yours. ‘When we leave tomorrow, do not follow me to say goodbye,’ he whispered, your heart aching as your body started to tremble. ‘Do not say goodbye, but come with me, let me introduce you to my second love.’

‘I thought I was your second,’ you blurted out before you could stop yourself, and he smiled with the shine of the sun in his eyes as he tilted your head up towards his own. ‘What about the crew?’

‘If they have a problem with you, I’ll throw them over myself,’ he promised, his expression making you feel like you could believe in him, in this. ‘Kocham cię,’ he then told you gently, your eyes closing even though you didn’t understand.

‘What does that mean?’ you asked, his lips just a breath out of reach before he closed the final gap, the translation still on his tongue as he kissed you.

‘I love you.’

[iridescentis]

for the ask game :)

001 - perfectdolls

Ooo fun!!

when I started shipping it if I did:

I wanna say a couple months ago? I think? the earliest perfectdolls reblog I did was early june and that makes sense since I got into RTC in april, so I've shipped them for roughly that long :)

my thoughts:

LOVEEEEE <333333 My darlings my favs they are WONDERFUL I could talk about them foreverrr

I think they have SUCH a fun dynamic with tons of potential like okay so Jane and Ocean, ADORE, the beauty of Ocean's character development coming from seeing the human in a lost girl with no identity and sacrificing her own motivations to give someone she never even knew the chance is poetic PERFECTION AGH <3 the love is just so complex and beautiful I could SCREAM, then we've got RTC fanon Penny and Ocean, so essentially Penny the blank canvas, which I also ADORE, I love seeing their dynamic with different Pennys since every writer has a different take on her

BUT ANOTHER THING. TELL ME LEGOLAND PENNY AND OCEAN AREN'T WONDERFUL. like you've got this girl who has ultimately done some fucked up stuff but doesn't swear, is very anxious and is trying to be a good person, and then little miss perfect over here with her high and mighty attitude THAT IS A WHOLE COMBINATION I LOVE (and will explore in my next multichap I mean what cough cough)

What makes me happy about them:

I think they have such cute potential, just from seeing how Ocean starts to soften to Jane's presence within the show but also outside of that, it's two girls who have done fucked up stuff, whether it was justified or not, finding each other and healing in a way. They have kinda similar backgrounds, and I think they would really ground each other. They just complete each other in that way, Ocean has the determination and outspokeness that Penny needs to stand up for herself and be confident, and Penny has that deep understanding and care for other people that Ocean needs (both for herself and to learn from)

What makes me sad about them:

THEY ARE SO TRAGIC. THEY ARE PEAK TRAGEDY TO ME. I WILL NEVER STOP WRITING FUCKED UP POETIC RAMBLINGS ABOUT HOW FUCKING SAD THEY ARE.

Ocean's sacrifice, letting go of Jane and in the process her only chance at life, just to let her last moments go towards something good, Jane leaving the girl who learned to care for her too late, the intrinsic separation between the two of them and life and death, two lovers who can never be together AGH IT'S SO GOOD. I think they are perfect for absolutely heartbreaking angst, cyclone accident included or not, and it will always make me weep

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

This is more of a general thing for RTC fics but it does annoy me in perfectdolls fics especially - Ocean's flaws being ignored. I totally get not wanting to delve into hard-hitting character stuff and redeeming her in a realistic, detailed way, sometimes you just wanna write some fluffy lesbians, I get that! But I do feel like some perfectdolls fics kinda butcher Ocean's character entirely to avoid having to address she's flawed or even that she's more than just a blushy mess in a romance scenario like she's always VERY outspoken and loud and energetic I just can't see her being shy, sweet and agreeable while also ignoring ALL of her faults

it's easier to gloss over her character being simplified when she's not the main one in a fic but it really bugs me when people just. get rid of the bad stuff with no explanation or even acknowledgement. and you really can't get away with that when she's half of the main ship in the fic. my only exception for this would be future AUs, like if they're in their 20s I think you're fine to move past that but still, OOC Ocean pisses me off in all shapes and forms

I think Penny is hard to write OOC because most fics don't use Legoland!Penny and thus have literally nothing to go off, so remarkably Penny characterisation doesn't ever really bother me, AS LONG AS SHE HAS CHARACTER. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE BOTH OF THESE GIRLS A PERSONALITY.

okay I have ranted enough now 😅

things I look for in fanfic:

BACKSTORY. I FUCKING LOVE PERFECTDOLLS BACKSTORY. ALSO ANGST.

perfectdolls have great slowburn potential but sadly I do not have the patience for slowburn unless the fic is incomplete and I'm reading updates as they come out, so with oneshots and stuff I look for solid characterisation, probably post-cyclone but I'm not too fussy with that, some good build up and context, and just a lil bit of spice yk just a dash for some flavour

in a general sense, with fanfic I'm always looking for getting together, in universe, probably friends to lovers although rivals can be good, and like a maximum of 20k words

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 

CDPLAYER 💞💓💖💕 MY LOVES. yeah if Penny is not with Ocean she is 100% with Tammy I love them DEARLY <3333

Ocean is a tricky one, I think I would be happy for her to end up with Constance, I'm not a huge blackrose shipper but I'm never mad at them as a side pairing in other fics, I would be comfortable with them together if not perfectdolls, although generally if I'm not writing perfectdolls Ocean won't end up with anyone

My happily ever after for them:

This one is hard because almost everything I have written or come up for them that has an ending always ends badly 😭 I have never written them a happy ending before oops

I think, them living together in the city in their twenties, both of them chasing their dreams, going to college together and moving in together afterwards, I think that could be cute

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Jane x Ocean - Jane is the big spoon, Ocean is the little spoon RTC!Penny x Ocean - Penny is the big spoon, Ocean is the little spoon Legoland!Penny x Ocean - Ocean is the big spoon, Penny is the little spoon

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

hmmm again the fact I only ever think about sad ass prompts for them is failing me 😭

this is more of genre of activities rather than a particular one but intimate non-sexual self-care is probably super important to them, like washing and brushing each others hair, doing their routines for each other, meditating together, just simple very close things to take care of each other

I think both characters can have tendency to neglect themselves and be detrimental to their own wellbeing (whether that's self neglect in pursuit of perfection or self-sabotage) and so I think taking care of each other in a sweet and healing way would be their favourite

for more generic answers I think they love doing things together, whatever it is, they love to be productive together like running errands, organising events/hang outs, volunteering (animal shelter perhaps?) and they are DEFINITELY the kind of people who love coexisting while doing their own thing, like doing homework in silence in the same room is precious to them, Penny listening to music while Ocean studies or plans whatever she's got her heart set on, and they would definitely call just to have each other on the phone even though they aren't talking

That's all I've got! This was fun :D

[aspitefulwriter]

OUT OF TOUCH [Ch. 3]

(Poe Dameron x AFAB!reader)

warnings: reader kills punches people again, also spoilers…but character death. my bad, y’all. kylo ren is a little bitch

word count: ~7.2k

author’s note: running running and running running and running running and RUNNING RUNNING.

and for new folks, i post on ao3 first, so be on the lookout :))

Series Masterlist

By the time Poe managed to get outside, hoping to at least catch your tail, you were long gone. With a curse, he runs his hand through the curls atop his head and frustratedly kicks at the dirt beneath his feet. He takes a moment to think through the Order’s robbery, his mind fleeting to hatred surrounding you before he quickly stops it. It wouldn’t be fair to hate the person who saved his life.

Poe lets out a heavy sigh–but then an idea comes to him. The First Order has several private locations situated around Coruscant to shuffle their high-profile people in and off the planet. A few haven’t had activity for months, but he’s sure he could take his chances with one of the more active ones. He runs to a nearby open speeder, racing it along the streets deeply hoping he’ll see the familiar face of the person haunting his every waking moment. 

When he gets there, Poe realizes how foolish that hope was. The lot sat empty, save for a few pre-Imperial ships that wouldn’t be able to take off even if they tried. Of course you’d already left. The lead you had on him was hefty, minutes had ticked by before he had even stepped out of the club. The frustration from earlier mounts within him again, mixed with a heavy dose of disappointment that sits deep in his gut. He takes one last look around the lot before clearing his throat and throttling the speeder back into action, deciding to just take the loss back to base.

In hyperspace, his thoughts scurry around the two of you seeing each other for the first time since the wreck a few weeks ago. His face burns to recall seeing you walk through the door, somehow knowing at that point he’d be going back to base empty-handed, but it doesn’t make the disappointment any less strong. The information on Senator Camboon had been a needle in a haystack that was scrounged up by General Leia seemingly out of thin air. His cooperation would have been a major success for the Resistance, and the guilt of not having him ate at Poe the more he thought about it. The beep of his comms took him out of the cannibalistic nature of his thoughts, now settling them on landing him back on land.

As Poe steps out of the undercover recon jet, he hears a short burst of coos before he’s knocked off balance by BB-8. His droid recovers quickly from hitting him and starts to spin circles around him and prattles off about Poe’s decision to leave him on base.

When BB stops, Poe rubs his droid’s head apologetically, “Yeah, I know buddy. It had to be done–I promise I’ll find a way next time.” Sounds of footsteps ricocheting off of the hangar’s walls bring his attention up to the source. General Leia stands at the entrance to the hangar, hands clasped behind her back. 

Poe quickly walks to face her, even though the shame starts to crawl up his neck and clutches at his throat to make him not acknowledge his defeat. He runs through a list of apologies in his head–things that worked to get other people off of his back even when he was clearly the problem. But before the words could cross his vocal cords, she silenced him with a noncommittal wave of her hand.

The two stare at each other and her lips are pulled into a tight line before she softly smiles. Definitely not the kind of look Poe expected when he thought of the conversation on the flight back here. His eyebrows pinch together in confusion and he’s about to speak when she interrupts him again with a sigh that falls into a chuckle.

“Glad to see you’re back unharmed, Commander Dameron. I had been worried when intel sent me images from your quarrel in the pick-up spot.”

He laughs and flits his eyes from Leia to avoid the pressure her eye contact brings to him at his points of failure. “Unharmed except for maybe my ego. Don’t tell my squad that though,” the two laugh together, and it’s silent for a moment before the apology actually comes forward. His fingers seek the loose thread at the bottom of his shirt, rolling it between his pointer and thumb.

“Sorry for coming back empty-handed. I know you had to go through a lot to get it set up with the Senator.” 

There’s a twinkle in her eye as she gives him a single nod before grabbing the top of his arm and leading him with her.

“As much as I love to finally hear you apologize to me after all of the crazy business you like to get into, I don’t need to hear it. Honestly, Poe, you’re making me lose respect for you.” She teases with a wink. BB-8 questioningly beeps behind them, asking ‘Who?’ Nosey droid. Maker, he loves him. 

His eyebrows furrow as he ignores her comment and BB. “You know who she is?” She leads them to her office before she speaks further, looking down the hallway before closing the door.

Leia walks to her desk and hits a button so a hologram shoots up to fill the room with a blue hue. His eyes rake across the information, or lack thereof, given the lines of [REDACTED] that fill the screen. However, he settles on your familiar face. Your eyes look dead and riddled by horrors, dark circles beneath them in the picture meant to be your ID. 

Leia walks to join him in the middle of the room, crossing her arms across her chest as she joins him to look at your picture.

“She’s a commander of Canis Squad, a team of the top pilots in the Order. From what I’ve been able to gather, they’re sent for high-status missions from high command. They carry a heavy hand and I’ve heard they’re usually sent for missions that demand executions.” Poe’s hand goes to rest on his chin, nodding at her words thoughtfully. “Imagine my surprise when the mission log was intercepted by one of my constituents on Coruscant and I see her name as lead. And then to see her face in the cameras, holding a blaster to your head?” She laughs lightly again. “I thought you were a goner.” 

Poe looks at Leia bewilderedly, “You don’t have faith in me?”

“Oh no,” she pats him softly on his shoulder, “I had plenty faith in you, Poe. Doesn’t mean this old woman can’t get scared every once in a while.”

Poe doesn’t believe her, humming in response. “Thank you for the concern, General.” He says boredly, but when he catches her eye, his humor betrays him with a smile. 

“So this is why you aren’t disappointed with the Senator’s absence? You’re glad I’m alive?” Poe questions.

“Among other things,” she pats his shoulder again before letting it fall beside her again as she looks back at your picture. Silence fills the room as thoughts flitter through their minds, and he wishes he could take a peek in hers.

Leia breaks the silence not long after, “I’m going to tell you something that I don’t want to leave this room.” She settles a scolding gaze on BB-8, who rattles off with a few sentences expanding on how he’s insulted she doesn’t trust him. 

She looks back at Poe. “I’m waiting on news that may revolve around getting her to our side. I need you to tell me more about what happened when you crashed on Planet 523039.” 

____

That night, he and his squad are scattered around a caf table, several drinks floating in their systems. Poe’s eyes are closed as his head rests upon the table, listening in on his squad’s different conversations– ranging from raunchy to just recollections of their day. His mind strays to you, your image from earlier ingrained into the backs of his eyes. Leia wanted you to join the Resistance? Would that even be possible? The drinks in his system make him want to ask his squad, and his better judgment had yet to kick when he quickly sits up, drink in his hand slightly sloshing over the sides from the disturbance.

“I have to tell you guys something.” Maker Poe, shut your mouth. 

They stop their separate conversations and take drinks from their mugs, looking at him expectantly. At that point, his senses started to come to him, and he looked pensively into his own.

“I wasn’t alone,” Poe pauses, still trying to will himself to shut up, “those few days I was stranded.” All he got was silence and blank stares before the less stoic members burst out laughing.

“You think we’re dumb, Poe? How else would we have been able to get our hands on a TIE silencer if you were alone?” Karé chuckles, hitting the shoulder of Jessika while she laughs along. 

“And there’s no way you would’ve survived that planet otherwise.” Snap follows, taking another sip from his drink to hide his grin. 

He rolls his eyes before he looks at Snap, “Don’t act like you wouldn’t have cried like a kitten calling for its mother if you were put in my situation,” the smile on Snap’s face is replaced by a scowl while Jessika snickers at Poe’s comment, hiding her grin behind her hand while she turns her head from Snap’s eyesight. 

“But seriously– you guys weren’t a little curious about how we hit the jackpot?” He refers back to Karé’s comment about the Silencer as his eyebrows tilt up expectantly.

Karé lets out a small groan, “Fine, I’ll bite. What do you want to talk about so badly?” She teases.

Poe simmers on his response, now that he’s already started to dig his grave. And he can’t help but be curious to know what his squad would think about having someone like you join to fight against the reign of the First Order. 

“What do you guys think about second chances?” Poe asks, resting his cheek on a closed fist.

“What do you mean?” L’ulo speaks up, almost suspiciously.

“I just–I–” Poe stumbles on his words, “It’s just– We all have backgrounds where we thought we might be someone else, but the galaxy called for help. We saw people die–planets fall to the destruction of not just the First Order, but also the Empire. The consequences both brought and are bringing to us now. And it might be a different world had some people not gotten their second chance.” His eyes space out and become unfocused as he recalls the conversation he had with General Leia just a few hours ago. 

“Where are you going with this?” Jess asks, eyebrows pulled in question, humor from earlier long gone.

Poe clears his throat and stands up, his sobriety hitting him. It made him want to recede to his room, especially as his squad confusingly stared up at him. “I was only curious. See you in the morning.” He gives a single nod, and turns around, walking out the doors of the caf. 

_____

“You’re being demoted.” The sentence rings in your ears, vertigo overtaking your vision as Kylo Ren blurs out of focus. “Be lucky you’re half your father. Anyone else, and you’d be floating in space with your head sat by the Supreme Leader’s side.” He pauses like he’s baiting you to interrupt him, eyes raking your form to see any kind of crack in your stature, but you’re frozen in place.

He stalks closer to you at your silence, the force of his movement causing his cape to whip around your legs as he gets close enough to have his modulator by your ear, “Did you think I wouldn’t find out that there’s a traitor?” At that, your vision unblurs and you step back to peer at him with a mix of confusion and disgust. Is he insinuating that you’re a traitor? For what? Not being the frothy-mouthed homicidal dog they used to have?

His mask garbles out a scoff, “You’ve knowingly helped the Resistance. Twice.” He stabs an accusatory finger to your sternum before pulling away, “It’s treasonous behavior that deserves far of a worse punishment than a demotion…a captain of all things.” He turns from you and you can feel the familiar clench of your muscles as the Kylo begins to constrict the matter around your body, but he stops.

“They give you too many chances.” He mumbles, hand starting to settle on the handle of his weapon, but you’re stuck in place. Your mind begs you to move your legs, to run out of the room, but Ren is too unstable to be able to accurately predict what he wants.

“Leave!” He yells, lightsaber activating, and you scatter out of the room. 

The doors loudly close behind you, and the breaths you were holding escape from your mouth in rapid succession. He thought you were a traitor? Someone who killed and clawed up the ranks all for the First Order? The First Order is all you knew and was all you were. To you, it didn’t matter that the man from the planet you crashed on was from the Resistance. Maybe it did at first, but the squad likely wouldn’t have had their commander if you hadn’t agreed to the man holding your blaster to your head as his droid’s electricity crackled through your veins. 

With a huff, you start your way down the hallway, anger growing towards Ren, especially as the sound of his tantrum echoed through the halls, loud enough to the point it masked your footsteps. Mindlessly, your legs carried you down familiar hallways as your thoughts swirled around Ren. How had he found out about Poe anyway? Sure, he hadn’t stated his name, but he said that you helped the Resistance twice. Your Silencer could have been taken by any number of people around. The fight before you fell was mainly against a local planet’s fighters first before the Resistance and a few other stragglers took the opportunity to cut in. The only thing you could actually understand was on Coruscant. It being Order-affiliated, Ren had access to the cameras. But only a few private rooms contained cameras attached to audio, so you felt safe acknowledging him by name at the time. Granted, the old you would have killed anyone in your way, it wasn’t entirely suspicious to leave a man who surrendered alive. But then it clicked. 

Jazkrin.

She must have fed all of the information to Ren. You seethed–not only at her, but also at yourself. You should have known better than to say ‘good to see you.’ What were you thinking? Stupid stupid stupid stupid. The doors opening to the training room snapped you from your thoughts, and as fate would have it, the first person your eyes locked on was none other than Jazkrin herself, a cocky smirk slowly building on her lips as you see the shiny new Commander jacket sitting on her shoulders. In the snap of a finger, the hatred you harbored toward yourself mounted over to her. 

She knew. The moment the three of you had gotten into a taxi to go back to the ship, she had been short and curt. She no longer wanted to hold conversation, and she avoided all contact with you. How did she know who he was? Your mind was a screaming mess of blind hatred as you maintained eye contact walking towards her, the smirk still sitting there. You wanted to rip it off. 

Everything went quiet, your thoughts included when you swung your fist back to make a final crunching impact on the side of Jazkrin’s face, her body crumbling to the ground. 

“Do you know what you just did?” She screeched, holding the side of her face as a few of your (former) crew shuffled around her and helped her off of the floor.

“Treated you like the rat you are, Commander,” you seethed, venomously emphasizing her rank.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes, “Oh please, Captain,” she returns, “I did what I had to do. You let yourself grow weak.”

“Weak? Must be why my superior officer is still cradling her jaw.” You say, stepping towards her again when Denel comes forth and holds you back with a shake of his head. 

“And unstable,” She says exasperatingly, pointing to her face, “You’re not right as the leader anymore, your calls are putting the First Order in danger.”

You let out a laugh devoid of all humor, “Because one man was kept alive?”

“That’s the most important part, but it’s not just that!” She throws her hands up as if she can’t believe you’re not getting the idea yet, “Even on the way to Coruscant, you let the pirates go. If you give two types of people who rob from the Order made-up exceptions, how many more will you allow to pass? They’re already growing stronger, you’re just letting them keep the fuel.”

You scoff, “The fact that you don’t know the capabilities of the ship tells me you’re not fit to lead the squad either. People in charge have to make decisions that every member of their command won’t understand, even if it’s in their best interest to learn the ins and outs of different machines.”

Jazkrin crosses her arms across her chest, offense taken at your digs, “I’ll lead this squad to greatness you could never have even dreamed of, Captain. Good day.” 

You look at all of the faces you used to command, and all but a couple stare back at you with disgust in their eyes. In some way, it breaks you, but you fight back the feelings that want to bubble to the surface with a sarcastic smile.

“Good day, Commander. Let’s hope you don’t break under that pressure.” Her eyes narrow as you take one last look at all the faces, shaking your head as you turn to leave for your quarters. 

What a disappointment.

____

You had lost track of time, days that turned into weeks, turned into two months. Each was filled with exhaustion, meals consisting of quick hunger fixes and caf to fix the exhaustion, but neither worked to get it out of your system. It was getting to the point where you were craving the days of meal bars and bug bites back on the planet with Poe. At least you had good company.

Then there was a point right after your suspension when Ren further sought revenge against you and assigned you to a case with Jazkrin, much to your confusion. It had been on a backwater planet around issues surrounding a mining population’s revolution, but it had been simple enough to where a few units of stormtroopers could’ve handled it themselves. Canis squad seemed to be morphing into a less respectable team under the new command, and the part of you that fought to make it a name to be wary of seethed at the changes. But it wasn’t yours anymore, you told yourself.

Your efforts to convince yourself didn’t work very well either, since somehow Jazkrin made her own efforts to try to get you to see how ‘well’ she was doing as the commander. It was awful on the mining mission, but back on base it was worse. She conspired with several other officers and smaller ranks to make your life nothing but pond scum, isolating you and then having someone mention a member of Canis did the best practice run they’ve ever done. You rolled your eyes each time, feeling like the methods were rather child-like. After all, practice runs were nothing like high-stakes missions that the squad saw while you were under command. She knew that. But her pride was clouding her vision. 

Eventually, you were given a day off. Rather than taking it as a day to relax and rot in your quarters, you decided going into the base’s lower-ranked gym would properly blow off some steam. It might even help you sleep through the night tonight. The thought of that raised your spirits.

However, your spirits quickly fell when you heard the hydraulics to the door activate, turning to see who had a similar idea of burning off steam when you made eye contact with a familiar face. Letting out an aggravated exhale through your nose, you don’t acknowledge him, instead speeding up on the treadmill. Denel stops right next to you in the open space between the machines and whispers your name. After a few moments of only your footsteps in the quiet of the room and another whisper of your name, you sigh and slow the treadmill to a stop.

“I know I shouldn’t be talking to you,” you turn your head to look at him and he looks as if he’s in pain, causing your concern to mount, “But I’d rather you hear from one of us than by Kylo Ren or someone else.”

You waited expectantly as he took a deep breath and ran his hand over his head. “Kole died. Today.”

You sharply inhale, eyes shutting closed, “How?” You open them again, looking toward the door as you dismount from the treadmill.

He swallows before starting, “The squad was doing a simple training exercise. Command said the sector was in the clear and so we all let our guard slip when we were pulling some turns.”

“Before we knew it, we were surrounded– no one got any warnings, and Jazkrin froze. So we all separated and dealt with as many as we could at one time.” Your eyebrows pinch in confusion. No warnings?

“Did you recognize anything about the ships that attacked you?” He shakes his head.

“Eventually we got down to the last few, Jazkrin had started to give us orders but they were unclear.”

He shudders as unbridled grief cuts into his normally stoic features, “The orders she gave me and Kole sounded similar through comms and…” he chokes down a sob, “And I shot him… I--I killed Kole.” As if on instinct you pull him into a tight hug as silent sobs wrack his body, not sure else how to express comfort. Minutes pass before he pulls away and wipes his cheeks on his shoulders. 

“I’m confused. Were you guys not spatially aware of where you were while fighting? Why didn’t you guys comm your confusion?”

He shrugs and shifts his eyes to the floor, “Everything was a blur,” he says your name, “I don’t know what I’m going to do or what’s going to happen to me. This is eating me alive.”  A tear streaks down his cheek, “And I can’t help but think that whatever does happen to me is deserved.”

You bring your hand to his shoulder and rub in soft circles, “No, what happened today was an issue on command. This was entirely avoidable if comms were clear.”

“But I hit the trigger,” he whispers weakly, looking defeated. “You drilled in us that our reflexes were meant to be quick. Had I had quick reflexes, Kole would still be alive.”

”You were in a battle–and you had quick reflexes. Please don’t beat yourself up about this,” you plead. “Denel...It’s on her. Don’t let guilt cloud your judgment.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, sniffling and nodding his head once. You’re just about to back off and give him some space when the doors open again, causing the two of you to warily look at the entrance. Leading a small unit of stormtroopers marches Captain Phasma, their presence making you step away from Denel.

“You can’t help but be drawn to people who wish harm on the First Order, can you Captain?” 

Your eyebrows draw together, “Wish harm? You know just as well as anyo–” 

“Spare me the monologue,” She interrupted, signaling to the troopers behind her. Two fell out of formation and started toward the pair of you.

“TN-3459, you’re under arrest for killing a member of the First Order. All that you say will be recorded and studied by Kylo Ren while you’re under further investigation,” The troopers slot themselves between you and harshly grab his biceps before motioning him forward with their blasters to his side. Denel gives you a distant look and you’re about to speak about how ridiculous this is before you’re interrupted again by Phasma. “It’s in your best interest to cooperate, TN-3459.” 

As they lead him away, you shout after them, “You can’t be serious!” However, your interjection was futile, everyone ignoring you and folding Denel into the group seamlessly to take him to where you could only guess was Ren’s interrogation cell. All you could do was helplessly stand there, staring as their backs became obscured by the door.

This was quickly becoming overwhelming. Everything was changing and it felt personal. Accidents within Canis Squad were historically handled by the Supreme Leader since they happened incredibly rarely, save for the ship crashes that seemed to happen more following Kylo Ren’s position change to the Supreme Leader’s right hand. You started to pace.

Maker…Kylo Ren. You dreaded Denel’s outcome with him overseeing his interrogation, knowing that he has a personal bone to pick with you. There had to be something you could do–try to at least have people see reason. Destroying more members of the Order’s superior kill squad would only harm the organization more. 

Having made up your mind, you take off from the gym and barrel through the hallways of base. Any person you pass is harshly asked about Ren’s whereabouts and left without any further acknowledgment from you.  But the longer you walked, the more you thought about it. Was there really anything you could do–a demoted commander, now captain? Kylo Ren seemed to be doing his best at making everything you built with your bare hands crumble to the ground. It happened with every crash, every mission, your squadron–and even with your demotion, his demolition still continued. It made you confused. It made you furious. How dare he?

Before you knew it, you stood at the entrance to his meeting room, anger giving you renewed vigor. The steam from the door announces your visit, swirling around you as you yell out, “You’re pathetic, Ren!”

The stormtroopers standing guard snap to attention and draw their weapons to point at you, which Ren immediately quells with a wave of his hand. 

Other than that, he gives you no reaction. “You’re out of line, Captain.” 

“No, you’re out of line!?” You point an accusatory finger at him. At that, he slowly turns to face you.

“Me? Out of line to a captain?” His modulated voice is amused as he turns back to the holograms to switch them off.

“You know exactly what I’m referring to. My squad? All of the crashes and take-off orders that should never have been cleared. Jazkrin’s wrongful promotion.” While you were talking, he had turned back to face you and stared silently, even when you were finished. With an unnerving chuckle, he leaned against the table and relaxed.

“You must’ve been hiding your intelligence from me.”

Rage fills your body and you sneer at him. “What gives you the right to tear down everything I built for the Order? Everything that has to do with Canis is out of your jurisdiction.” Ren starts to walk to you leisurely before stopping not even two feet from where your toes point to him. 

“Did you know I’ve dreamed about crushing your skull a thousand times over? It fills my every waking thought.” He picks a piece of lint off of your shoulder and flicks it away, his touch making you flinch away. “Just hearing your voice and seeing your name on a screen fills me with a rage I haven’t felt in years…” He trails the sentence off as if he’s looking into the distant past before stepping away from you. All you can do is silently watch him, your anger still hot, but now curiosity overpowers how you felt only minutes before. Why did it get to this point?

He hums lowly, appraising you, “But you have no idea how untouchable you are–the power of the voices that keep you still standing.”  

Your brows furrow. “What? What does that mean?”

Silence fills the air as Kylo signals the troopers, ignoring the question, “I doubt you’ll ever find out.” The troopers come to your side like they did for Denel half an hour ago.

“Take her back to her quarters and set up guard. Make sure no one leaves or enters.” When they grasp your arms, you squirm to get out as you give Kylo a heated glare. 

“You’re a coward for what you’re doing. All you’re doing is ruining the Order.”

He scoffs, “I’m doing the Order a favor by getting rid of a squadron of Resistance sympathizers. The Supreme Leader agrees with me, allowing me to give you the justice you deserve. After all, if I can’t kill you–-might as well kill everything you ever loved.” He signals for the troopers to take you away as you struggle, yelling curses to the back of Ren as he opens the holograms again.

You’re drug out of the meeting room, and the butt of a blaster kicks you into the ribs, making you lowly groan, “shut your mouth,” the trooper to your left says.

Defeat starts to fill your body, turning your limbs into lead and causing the troopers to have to truly drag you to your quarters, the toes of your boots scraping the floor. You couldn’t recognize this place anymore. What happened to the organization that you grew up in? Or was it truly ever good? Were the good experiences only because of the unspoken protection that Ren mentioned? 

The thoughts of protection brought your mind back to Denel; he probably lay attached to Ren’s interrogation chair, chest heaving at the torture that Ren was putting him through. That thought made your heart ache, knowing your teammate suffered because a superior had a problem with you. You have to get him. You have to escape. 

Still slack in the trooper’s arms, ideas spin in your head, all of your knowledge about the First Order coming together to craft the perfect escape plan. Based on what you know from previously caught traitors…using the word liberally given the circumstances… he should have about two more days until Ren has exhausted him enough. That gives you a small window of time to see guard changes and finalize the escape.

You’re taken from your thoughts when you’re thrown into your room without a glance, having to catch yourself to not hit your head. Just when you throw a glare over your shoulder with a fleeting insult, the door closes and blocks you off from the rest of the ship. A simmering hatred toward the Order was starting to boil over, and you couldn’t wait to leave. Unfortunately…that is what you had to do…wait.

A heavy sigh escapes from your lips as the exhaustion you’ve felt since your demotion crashes into you all at once. You lean your back against the wall and look between the refresher and your bed, picking between the two becoming one of the hardest decisions you’ve had to make all day. Washing off the actions of the day would probably melt off a lot of the stress, and the thought of the hot water streaming down your back immediately convinces you the shower sounds like the best option. With a huff, you grab your injured side and make your way to the refresher, stripping off along the way. You’ll just pick it up later.

Not sparing a glance at the mirror, too scared to see what would look back at you, you turn the handles of the shower and step in without waiting for it to heat. Eventually, the shock of the cold seamlessly becomes replaced by a comforting warmth that lulls your eyelids. You lazily wash yourself, taking special care of the side that was hit with the blaster. 

Getting out came too soon, but the prospect of getting into bed overpowered the comfort of the shower. Shuffling yourself under your sheets, you took a peek at the clock. 13:48. It was too late for lunch and too early for dinner. Plenty of time to get sleep before any sort of guard would come in and see you. 

Finally relaxing, your eyes fluttered closed. 

Hours later, you wake up with a start. Your room is left exactly how you left it, the only thing that changed being the time on the clock. 20:09. Dinner rations begin at 19:00, and you doubted your meals would take precedence over the guards given right now you’re only a higher rank in name. Not really in any other manner.

As if on cue, a stormtrooper opens your door and you quickly sit up in bed. Without passing the frame or a spoken word, they set the tray of food down to the ground before shutting you off again. Your eyes flit to the tray and the sound of your stomach fills the room. 

You needed the food and its energy, but knowing Ren, you were paranoid that an immobilizing drug was mixed in. The threat of that becoming reality outweighed the grumbling your stomach was doing. However, you still tread over to the door, grabbing the utensils given to you with the meal and toeing the tray away before sitting with your ear to the door. 

You sat like that for hours, silence and the low hum of the ship mostly being the only thing you hear. At times the hum was comforting, causing you to jolt yourself awake with high-movement exercises, not wanting to sleep in case another guard change occurred. You heard one guard at 00:00, but otherwise, there was no other activity. 

That was until 06:10, when echoes of footsteps filled the hallway your door attaches to. Standing up and quickly sliding the tray back to where it was put, you slide into bed just as soon as the door glides open. The trooper releases a scoff and they pick up your dinner to replace it with breakfast. They glance at you, and you can imagine you make eye contact given the stare you maintain on their form. When the door closes, you hear their mumbles behind the door, likely reporting the uneaten meal.

Deciding you’ve seen enough of their routine, you slide further down into your bed to stare at the ceiling and twirl the utensils between your fingers. It seemed that they brought meals about an hour and ten minutes after each ration block. That gives you roughly seven hours to finalize your plan…when you really only need one. You sigh impatiently, rolling in the bed and choosing to dress in clothes that would allow you to maintain comfort on the run. Getting up, you walk to your closet, pull out your black Order-issued set, and slide them on before sitting on the side of your bed to put on your boots. 

With another impatient sigh, you fall back down onto the bed to stare at the ceiling. Now you just had to wait…again.

Eventually, they bring lunch, and at that point, you were poised to strike. As soon as the stormtrooper stepped in to pick up your untouched breakfast, you took the handle of the spoon and jammed it into the weak point of the armor covering their knee, followed by a kick to the ground. They groan as they fall and you take their blaster, aiming it at the guards who were alerted by the groan of their counterpart, drawing their own weapons. You manage to shoot one before they can do anything, but you duck and roll away from the other, who retaliates with a blaster shot. You land a kick to the side of their knee, faltering them, and you take the chance to shoot a hole through their chest.

You grab their blaster too and take off running to the interrogation rooms, alarms now blaring through the halls as the people you run past let out exclamations and yelps of surprise. Some take the chance to run after you too, but leap for cover as you shoot behind you.

You’re panting as you reach the interrogation wing, quickly glancing at all of the signs next to each door before your eyes settle on Denel’s designation. Smacking the button, the door opens with a cloud of smoke, which causes a very injured and very sweaty Denel to flinch.

“Hey, hey, it’s me.” His eyes bolt open, allowing you to see how bloodshot they are. Your heart yanks again, the urgency to get him out pumping through your veins. You rush over to him and your energized fingers shake as they try to release him from his prison. 

His chest heaves as his eyes study you as if he’s looking at a ghost, “Wha-How are you here? Ren told me you were dead.” His voice is strained as if he’s been yelling for hours straight, which he probably has.

Your face pulls into confusion and you try to comfort him, “I am very much alive, fortunately.” You crack a smile and take a deep breath to will the shakiness away. It’s successful, causing the grips around his limbs to unlatch. 

“And we’re leaving. Together.” You say, hoisting him up to lean his weight against you. 

He winces, tightly gripping your shoulder so he can keep himself steady, “How are we going to do that?” 

You hand him a blaster, “On a jet.” He weakly lets out an airy laugh.

“If you say so, Commander.” 

You give him a smile and the two of you exit the room, making your way down the hall. At the sound of several stormtroopers rushing to you, you stop and hide the two of you behind a panel. Sneaking a look at Denel, you see his face screwed in pain, perspiration starting to glide down his face. Maneuvering him to lean more onto you, you wait with bated breath for the troopers to pass. 

You watch them pass, quickly bringing Denel along with you to continue your way to the hangars. When you pull him in the opposite direction of where the TIE fighters are held, he shoots you a confused look.

“I thought we were leaving on a jet?”

You nod, starting to pant with the exertion of holding him, “The supply hangar. You don’t think they’ll expect us to try to get in a fighter?”

His eyebrows lose their furrow as he thinks about it, “You’re right, less resistance there.”

“I’m glad someone else sees the vision.” You smile at him and he tries to give you one back, but you can tell the exertion is getting to him too.

“Don’t worry,” you say, “We’re almost free.”

However, you said it too soon.

As you pass one of the last corners, a sizeable crowd of troopers sees you making your escape and jump into action after the initial shock of being the ones to find you wears off. All at once, a sea of red heads straight for you, and you push Denel with your shoulder out of the way, narrowly missing it as you slot behind a panel. 

Peeking your head off of the side, you shoot some shots that land at their marks, Denel soon joins you and the numbers in the crowd rapidly fall. The ones that try to make their way to you are clipped before they can get too close, and before long, only a handful remain. 

To your horror, your blaster stops responding and you let out a frustrated groan. Just what you needed. Looking to Denel, you ask him for cover and he nods, knowing that he is probably running out too. Scrambling out of your hideout, you toss your empty blaster at the head of a nearing trooper, knocking them off balance as you bounce back and forth on the balls of your feet to avoid the shots from the others. 

Quickly grabbing a blaster off of a dead trooper, you shoot up at one of the other members of the unit just as soon as they shoot theirs. They drop dead as soon as searing pain radiates through your arm, but you don’t spare a glance, even as Denel yells your name. Letting out two final shots, the other troopers drop to the floor and you run back to grab Denel. 

He talks to you, but your mind is much too focused on the objective at hand: getting out alive. 

You’re both panting when you get to the supply hangar, sweat rolling down your back and face, starting to feel lightheaded at the blood loss. Shutting your eyes closed and shaking your head, you try to get the feeling out. It’s slightly successful, allowing you to poke your head through the door and glance around without insane vertigo gripping your vision.

With your assessment, you see the odd custodian here and there unloading a ship on the far corner of the hangar, away from the small line of ships without a crew. There’s your escape. You signal Denel to follow you, motioning with your head to the line. He gives you a single nod and you turn your head back to your destination, keeping your eyes peeled for someone who might see you as you crouch and move lightly to keep noise at a minimum.

In perhaps the luckiest thing to happen to you in your career, no one notices you, and you both load onto the carrier and head up to the cockpit, frantically beginning the takeoff sequence as Denel joins your efforts.

“You ready to be a fugitive?” He gives you a look filled with trepidation as he opens his mouth, eyebrows beginning to pull together.

You interrupt any ‘no’ or idea of surrender, “It’s now or never.”

He breathes out deeply, nodding his head and closing his eyes, “Yeah, yeah I know that. Let’s do this…let us be the traitors they want us to be.”

You breathe out a laugh as you look away from him and press the button to kickstart the engine, causing the personnel unloading supplies to snap their heads to you. Your lips tilt into a smile as you watch them run, waving their arms as you pull the controls toward the exit, steadily increasing speed. 

Unbeknownst to you, a few levels above, Kylo waits eagerly for the moment he’s dreamed of. You lying dead at his feet. 

Your signature feels nearby, and it gets closer before rapidly starting to fade away. At that feeling, he twists around to see a cargo shipping steadily getting further and further away, knowing it had to be you.

“Get them!” He screams, voice crackling the modulator and ricocheting off of the walls as available pilots scramble to get into their TIE fighters. However, just as the first few breach the field to chase you, your ship enters hyperspace and far out of his grasp.

TWO POVS! YIPPEE

[ishouldgetatumbler]

Chrollo was reading a palm sized red book with two trims of filigreed gold on each cover, one larger and ornate, the other a rectangle of straight shimmering gold.

It was a first edition of what was considered one of the worst period romance dramas every written, but Chrollo found himself enraptured by its every poorly concieved plot twist, period inaccuracy and confusing, poorly thought character. It all worked in some sort of a horrible dance, like groundbeef set to swirl in a typhoon of dish water.

It began with a stupid romance: characters who were wildly incompatable and lacked interaction and chemestry, so the story conspired to make them a better match. Some cataclsym must strike, reshaping them into characters more fit for each other. A revolution. Given the authors loose grasp on time and history, the specific revolution was left, generously, to the reader's imagination.

The male lover was shipped off to war, weither for duty or draft is left unclear. The next section of the book is epistolary as the author devotes 17 letters, unabridged, to the hard work character assassination. Chollo watched with, manic, memserized fascination as the female lover, originally spiteful and sassy, was carved into a simpering and wistful creature who longed only for her lover in clumsy, uneven chops.

That was as far as he got, snapping the book shut and tucking it in his breast pocket. Outwardly, even to his extremely honed senses, nothing was odd. He stood alone in a warehouse, isolated from the world. A steady drip came from the failing gutters as the water built up over clogged pipe, then spilled. Nothing was astray. And yet Chollo could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"Hiyo!" Illumi said cheerfully, appearing from a clump of shadows.

"Hello." Chollo said, smiling slightly to calm himself.

They approached each other, coming to stand near the center of the warehouse with a puddle of water, oily and prismatic, between them.

"So?" Illumi prompted

"Right to the point then. I want you to kill the 10 dons."

Illumi put hand to his chin, appearing to calcuate something.

"Murders like that aren't cheap. The Dons will have men close to them, aware of nen and experienced too," he said, seemingly coming to a conclusion, "it will be expensive."

Chrollo chuckled to himself, then said "money shouldn't be a problem," but Illuni held up his hand.

"let me explain why it might be, but first I trust you are aware that the 10 dons have hired dad and grandpa to hunt you down?"

Chrollo lapsed for a single moment.

"Yes." he said finally.

Illumi nodded. "Good. Normally, a job like this would cost double, but that's because you would be hiring two zoldycks. Because dad and grandad are busy, I'll have to get two zoldycks to fill in."

"So I'm paying triple. That's fine."

"Not exactly." Illumi said, "unless specific members of the family are contacted, contracts are assigned through a kind of internal review."

"Review?"

"Each Zoldyck has two hidden maximums and minimums," Illumi held up a finger on each hand. "When a contract is submitted, its assigned a price based on difficulty. Then, the contract is 'offered' to each family member in ascending order of age. This is compared with the first minimum and maximum, called your Personal Minimum and maximum. If it's above or below that amount, the contract is rejected and then 'offered' to the next eldest."

"What happens if a contract is below the families' minimum? or above it?" Chrollo asked, curiousity getting the better of him.

"We don't do charity work unless it's training, and even then those are mostly privately arranged. Once a zoldyck becomes of age, they may set their maximum at any value. I have yet to meet an offer that exceeds my maximums."

"but don't you have seperate finances?" Chrollo's curiousity kept winning, "wouldn't a system that favors the younger push out the older?"

"Only if you wasted your youth." Illumi said, "Besides, the older zoldycks largely rely on private contracts anyway."

"Like this one."

"Which brings us to the second minimum and maximum, Assistive. When a job, usually private, requires more than one of us, the 'risk price' is divided evenly amoung the number of zolycks needed, then this is compared with the assistive max and min. The Assistive maximum is always infinite, and the Assistive minimum is compared with the contract price: the further the minimum is from the price the larger the bonus that zoldyck recieves."

"Bonus?"

Illumi nods, "sort of a fee for working a job you didn't choose, based on the difficulty of it. It scales exponentially."

"But wait, doesn't that mean you could set the assistive minimum at zero? in order for a contract to be checked at all, a different zoldyck must have already accepted it, meaning it's a great deal of money. There would be essentially no need for a minimum."

"Bing-o! For a long time, Killua's Assistive minimum was the price of a chocorobo. It's best way to make a tidy sum off of a contract you didn't choose is to pick a very low assistive minimum."

Chrollo furrowed his brow, "then why have them at all?"

"Setting your assistive minimum above another zoldyck's personal maximum means you can avoid sharing contracts as one example." Illumi said.

Chrollo nodded then said, "You can take everything I have." his heart twinged for the book so close to it.

Illumi shook his head, "That's most but not all. You're going to have to owe me a favor."

"The idea of owing a zoldyck anything makes my teeth stand on edge." Chrollo mumbled to himself. "What kind of favor?"

Illumi put a finger back to his chin, pretending to think.

"Let me join the spiders." he said, after a moment.

Chrollo snorted, "we're not exactly recruiting. You could join the traditional way if you want but..."

"but zoldycks don't do charity work." Illumi finished, "who knows, there might be an opening soon. Keep me in mind."

Chrollo nodded silently.

"You'll still have to pay most of it for the other Zoldycks. Half up front, half after like usual. You know what account I use." With that, Illumi melted back into the darkness and after a moment or two, Chrollo felt he was alone again. Sitting back down, he pulled from his breast pocket the red book and began to read again.

[scullysexual]

A Jewel Beneath The Moonlight [Rewrite]

I originally wrote this fic in September and finished it late October 2019. It was one of the first fics I'd ever written for this fandom and it has remained the only multi-chapter fic I ever finished. For years I've been wanting to rewrite this fic, to fix the typos, change the clunky sentences, and include characters I'd introduced but didn't do anything more with. Mostly I want to re-share this fic. It sits at the bottom of my fic list on ao3 and I don't want this fic to be forgotten because it still means a lot to me 5 years on so over the next couple of days I'm gonna go through each chapter and rewrite certain parts. You can read the original on ao3 or you can just read this version. Anyway, this is getting long so Imma shut up now.

@today-in-fic | ao3

Summary: For Mulder, a wealthy English-bred socialite who's had everything given to him since birth, the Titanic is shipping him off to a prison, a life he no longer wishes for or wants. For Scully, an Irish stranger from the lower class, it offers a new life, a future she can truly envision in America. What if the universe put them on the same path to achieve those dreams at the cost of life?

Chapter One.

A cloud of heavy smoke rises from the four vapers, covering the clear sky above and littering it with stuffy grey puffs. People scramble up and down the dock, trying to keep family members together as they rush to get through the gates. Others stand there gawking at the ship. For those not boarding it’s simply a day out; The greatest ship ever built, the paper’s  call it and those who live nearby wasn’t about to miss out on such a historic day as this.

Mulder stares at it, surprised at just how wonderstruck he is with it. He never put much stock in the rumours when it was being built, believing that she was just going to turn out as all those before her had. That the rumours were just that- rumours.

But he was wrong. Never in his life had he seen a ship as large as the one that towers over him.

He turns to Phoebe, reaching out for her hand as she climbs out of the cab.

“What do you think?” Mulder asks as he helps his fiancé down. “Do you think she’s impressive?”

To no one’s surprise, Phoebe only scoffs at the ship, its presence not changing her mood in the slightest.

“It’s not as grand as the Mauretania.”

Bill Mulder chuckles behind them, handing their luggage to his man-servant, Krycek as the boy passes them onto a baggage handler.

“It’s much bigger than the Mauretania,” he says, ready to quote every fact he had memorised from the London Herald about the ship. “And much more luxurious,” he adds.

Phoebe only huffs, clearly becoming uninterested in their current conversation.

“Careful Fox,” his father warns him. “Hard one to please, that one.” Mulder only manages an uncomfortable laugh already well aware at the difficulties that come attached to Phoebe Green.

With departure time approaching, they begin to make their way towards the ship, weaving their way through the crowds, Phoebe turning her nose up at every person not dressed to the nines, going as far as to dramatically balk and cover her nose as a lower-class foreigner runs across their path.

“Filthy immigrant,” Phoebe scorns at the innocent man. Mulder tries not to let his disgust show at Phoebe’s words; they are excused after all and Mulder rolls his eyes at the clear disrespect his people show towards those less fortunate.

“He’s just trying to get to the ship, Phoebe.”

“Yes, well, maybe he should hurry to a bath instead.”

Mulder ignores her words, instead guiding her through the swarming crowds.

“Honestly Bill,” Mulder’s mother pipes up. “We couldn’t have arrived here earlier rather than scurrying around the docks like rats?”

“I was all packed and ready to go,” Bill says and indicates to the pair in front of him. “It was those two who weren’t.”

Mulder sighs. If anything, it was Phoebe who they had been waiting for.

“We did try to hurry, Mother. Phoebe couldn’t decide what to wear.”

Phoebe scoffs once more. “It’s not my fault that you told me to change.”

“I just thought you would get too warm wearing black all day.”

“I’m in mourning Fox,” Phoebe cries. “The weather doesn’t change that.”

Mulder resists sighing again. Phoebe had been mourning for weeks now. The loss of their baby had brought on this spontaneous trip. Phoebe, having had enough London and “wanting to get away from all the bad memories” all but demanded that they leave for America as soon as possible. A chance for a new start, she told him afterwards. They could get married here and start again. Next thing Mulder knew, he was packing his bag and going back to a country he hadn’t seen since he was a child.

He felt trapped somehow, and it had nothing to do with the swarms of crowds. This was inside him. A cage or a hole he had put himself in. One he didn’t think he was going to get out of any time soon.

She’s been sitting on this bench for what feels like hours now. The stuffy bar overcrowded with sight-seers only now they’ve done the sight-seeing and only drinking is on their mind.

She was told ten minutes. Ten minutes and they would be looking for a ferry to take them back to Ireland. Dana was done with the place. Southampton was the same as everywhere else in England that they’d been- the same people, the same scorning looks they’d get no matter where they go, the same rejections. It’s only a number of times a person can hear ‘no’ before they never want to hear the word again.

Her brother, however, had other ideas. They only came into the bar to ask if there were any ferries available to take them home and somehow Charlie had managed to be roped into a game of poker by a bunch of Norwegians who spoke very little English between them.

The game had currently been going on for a lot longer than the ‘ten minutes’ she was promised.

Dana sighs, shifting in her seat to get comfortable. She’d order a drink if Charlie wasn’t currently gambling away their last penny.

“You lonely, love?” Dana turns towards the speaker. His cockney accent thickened by the slurring of his words. “Ye want sum comp’ny?”

He stumbles towards her, catching himself on the rickety table and smiles at his clumsiness. Dana attempts to shuffle further back into the bench, failing.

“I’m fine,” she says turning away and hoping the man would take the hint.

But he presses on.

“Are ye sure?”

“Aye. I’m sure.” She gets up before the man can say or do anything else, and heads over to Charlie’s table.

Her brother is in full concentration mode. Lip caught between his teeth, eyes scanning his cards and the card laying down on the table. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. Countless of times Dana has watched him play, never learning from the mistakes he’s made in previous games. This gambling addiction he’s seemed to have developed has cost them a lot in the finance department, a cost that Dana is not too happy about.

She taps him on the shoulder.

“Charlie, I want to go.”

“Hold on a second…”

His tongue replacing his lip, Charlie gives one nervous glance around at his fellow players.

“Charlie, we need to go.” She tries not to sound like she’s whining, he’s her younger brother for God’s sake, a child, she shouldn’t have to whine.

Charlie ignores her, a smile breaking out across his face.

“I’m sorry, lads.” He places his cards on the table, his smile turning cocky as he reaches over to take his earnings. Dana spies two pieces of paper laying on top of the money.

A large hand grasps Charlie’s. His grin falls as he stares in fear at the man.

“He cheat!” The man yells. With his hand still firmly wrapped around Charlie’s arm, he yanks him forward across the table, his other hand a fist that falls down and smashes straight into his face.

“Charlie!” Dana yells as his body falls slump against the oak. The man backs off as the bar grows quiet, ignoring the winnings that fall onto the floor.

With all concern for her brother, Dana rushes to his side, her hand falling on his face, wiping away the blood that drips down from his wound. You fucking idiot…she thinks.

Charlie’s eyes open slowly, despite the pain he is grinning from ear to ear.

“I won, Dana,” he tells her gleefully. “We’re going to America.”

Dana frowns, bewildered for the moment at what Charlie could possibly be talking about until her eyes fall on those two pieces of paper that lay on the ground. Realisation sets in and she reaches down to pick them up, turning them over to read.

The words White Star Line stare back at her. She looks from the paper in her hand to the ship outside and back to Charlie.

“You’re…you’re not serious?” she asks in awe.

“Yep. Fucker put his ticket down as payment,” Charlie all but shouts still grinning.

Dana stares back at the ticket. She was really about to go to America, the Titanic being the ship to take her there.

“You’re gonna wanna be quick,” a man beside them tells them. He points to his clock on the wall. “Boat leaves in ten minutes.”

At that, Charlie hauls himself off the table as the two siblings begin pushing what money remains on the table into their only bag, not caring for the coins that had fallen onto the floor.

“Hurry up!” Charlie urges her as Dana ties up the bag. “Come on, come on.” He takes the bag throwing it over his shoulder and grabs his sister’s hand, dragging her out of the bar.

They weave their way through the people, Charlie up front and Dana falling slightly behind. She fists her skirt in her palms, pulling it up so as not to trip over it, keeping her eye on Charlie ahead of her and praying she doesn’t lose him.

They collide with everything; people, a cart selling vegetables, a horse and carriage until finally they make it, out of breath, and clutching at their tickets.

“Tickets?,” the crewman orders, his fingers making a grabby motion. They hand them over and snatches it out of their hands. His nose turns up when he reads the names.

“Leif and Ingrid Brevik?” he asks, sceptically.

Dana looks nervously at Charlie, worried that they had just got excited for their new futures only to be turned away at the doors once more.

“Aye, we’re Americans.” Charlie tells him doing nothing to mask his thick Irish accent.

The crewman gives once last glance at the ticket and them. Sighing and probably done dealing with steerage who’s English is minimal he accepts the tickets.

“Get in before I change my mind.”

Relieved, the pair rush in just as the crewman shuts the door.

They make their way down the crowded corridor. People stand looking at the various signs that point in directions of rooms, bathrooms, and general communal areas. They argue, an overload of different words muddled together to make one distorted language.

Dana isn’t paying attention, however. Her eyes switch from the number written down on the ticket to the numbers written on the doors either side of them. Charlie had gotten distracted, eyeing up every woman that they walked past and Dana had finally ripped the paper out of his hands. If he wasn’t going to find their room, she will.

She finds it eventually. 23, near the end of the corridor. Charlie eyes up Room 24.

“Reckon a lass lives in there?” he asks.

Dana focuses on unlocking the door, a sly grin appearing on her face.

“I hope it’s a fat old man with a foot infection.” She looks up only to see the look of disgust appear across her brother’s face and she laughs, gaining the reaction she was looking for.

The door opens to their room. A single bunkbed, a desk and chair with a lamp set upon it, and a chest of drawers are the only furniture that occupy the room.

Charlie shares her sentiments exactly: it’s perfect.

“Beats the cargo hold on a ferry.” He throws the bag onto the chair and proceeds to climb to the top bunk.

She stops him before he can claim it.

“Piss off, I get top bunk.” She grips the back of his shirt, yanking him off the ladder.

“Careful!” Charlie cries. “I’m already injured.”

“So move out the way before I injured you even more.”

He does as he’s told, not without pulling a face beforehand, and throws himself on the bottom bunk.

Dana lies down, thankful to be in a bed that actually feels like a bed and not a brick.

“Hey, Dana?” Charlie calls after a moment of silence.

“Yeah?”

“Are you worried?”

Dana thinks for a second, curious as to what Charlie thinks she should be worried about.

“About what?” she asks.

Silence passes and she waits for an answer.

“Nothing,” Charlie says. “It’s nothing. We got nothing to be worried about.”

Despite being profoundly confused, Dana decides not to push it.

Another bout of silence passes and perhaps Charlie’s fallen asleep. At least that’s what she assumes until she hears his voice again.

“Hey, Dana?”

“What?”

“Do you still have that first-aid kit in the bag? My face is throbbing.”

A pack flops onto the floor beside his bed.

“Cheers.”

[lavenderlegends]

Okay but "you can hear it in the silence" is DEREK "you are in love" HALE (I guess sterek lol)

you are in love

stiles/derek word count: 4.5k ships mentioned: boyd/erica, lydia/allison, kira/malia characters: stiles, derek, isaac, boyd, erica, lydia, kira, jackson, scott cw: drinking, weed, implied physical abuse, Stiles thinks he's in love with Erica lol

ao3

♞♚♞♚

"I don't really understand," Stiles complains, stretching his legs out across Erica's.

There's a beat. Derek's heart aches.

"What's there to understand?" Erica asks, putting her hands on Stiles' legs. She tugs them in closer to her. "I'm going to marry him one day."

"But first off, you don't talk to each other," Stiles says, shaking his head. "And secondly, Boyd doesn't talk. To anyone."

"He talks to me," Erica says, smugly. "Isn't that right, Derek?"

"Hm?" Derek says, as if he's absentmindedly paying attention and not studying the way Stiles' lips move. "Yeah. He does."

"Okay, well, whatever. I've seen him hanging around Lydia's ex, Jackson." Stiles frowns. "And you know Jackson is bad news."

"He's really not," Lydia mutters, not looking up from her phone.

Derek shifts on the grass. He wants to tune out of this pointless conversation. Everyone here knows that if Erica wants to marry Boyd, she'll probably do just that and marry the guy. But Stiles loves to imagine that Erica’s secretly in love with him and has been since high school. He finally got over Lydia only to get hung up on Erica.

Stiles just loves love, even if he pretends to hate it.

Derek knows this, and often wonders why Stiles can’t see what’s sitting right in front of him. Derek. The guy who has been in love with Stiles since they were about twelve years old. The guy who has never wavered in their friendship, even when Stiles makes it nearly impossible sometimes. The guy who showed up when Stiles’ mom was dying, and the guy who showed up when Danny turned him down for a ‘virginity pact’ and left Stiles crying in the locker room.

But no. Stiles doesn’t see Derek in that way, and that’s fine. It has to be fine. Derek would rather Stiles be in his life than out of it.

“C’mon, the guy cheated on you!” Stiles argues with Lydia now.

“He was going through a sexuality crisis! In high school!” Lydia counters. “If anything, Erica, you should be glad that Boyd has a friend like Jackson. He went from hating his queerness to running the college queer centre. He wouldn’t keep awful company.”

“That’s a great point, Lyds,” Erica says, beaming. She turns back to Stiles. “You’re just worried that Boyd won’t understand that I’m trans, and that he’ll break my heart like every other cis boy out there.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Erica. You’re, like, obsessing over this guy. And he doesn’t even talk!”

“He does too!” Erica gently shoves Stiles’ legs off her. “And if you don’t want to be a supportive friend, then the least you can do is shut up.”

Erica gives Lydia a look and silently, the two of them start packing their things.

“Wait, what just happened?” Stiles asks.

“You were an asshole,” Lydia tells him, her tone dry. Erica stands up and walks away without a word. Lydia pauses to add, “I know you’re all hung up on Erica right now, but maybe don’t bash the guy she likes. It’s not a good look.”

Then Lydia trails after Erica.

Stiles scoffs and looks at Derek. “Can you believe that?”

Derek shrugs. He’d rather not get caught in the middle. Besides, Boyd does talk. Derek’s sure Stiles rarely gives him a chance to, though. He picks at some of the grass, ripping it from the ground, and immediately feeling guilty about it.

“I don’t get women,” Stiles mutters. “What does she see in him?”

What do you see in Erica that you don’t see in me? Derek wants to ask but bites his tongue. Instead, he opts to quietly say, “Why don’t I walk you to your next class?”

Stiles studies Derek’s face, and he can’t help but wonder what Stiles is looking for. Instead of asking, Derek gets up from the courtyard grass and grabs his backpack. He holds out a hand to help Stiles up, and tries to ignore the way his body buzzes at the contact.

"You know, I'm starting to question whether I'm even meant for love," Stiles mutters. "Like maybe I'm just destined to be single for the rest of my life."

Derek snorts, because that's ridiculous.

"What?" Stiles asks, as they head towards the school doors. "I mean, Lydia has refused to look my way once. Not even a tiny little glance or a peek. She was all obsessed with Jackson, and then fell for Allison. And like, sure, they're a great couple, but... I'm always going to wonder what if?"

Derek doesn't respond, but simply holds the door open for him and trails beside him.

"And Erica... she was single all throughout high school, always complaining that no one was ever going to love her -"

"-sounds familiar," Derek teases.

Stiles doesn't hear him though. He keeps going. "And here I am, ready and willing to make our friendship more, and she's suddenly hung up on some guy who doesn't say a word."

Derek's lips part and shut. It's impossible to get him to hear anyone else when Stiles gets on a roll like this.

"And Boyd! Do you think he has any idea what a treasure Erica is? I bet not. I bet he doesn't even see her. And I do." Stiles pauses to glance at Derek. "You think Erica and I would be a good couple, right?"

Derek freezes.

"Yo, Stilinski! I heard you been talkin' shit about me!"

Thank god for Jackson, Derek thinks, as they both spin around to see him coming up the hall.

"I ran into Lydia and Erica. They're both furious with you," Jackson says, coming to a stop in front of them. He claps a hand on Stiles' shoulder. "I'd be pissed at you, but I think their wrath alone will be enough."

"Ha-ha," Stiles says, sarcastically. Then his face pales a little. "Oh shit, are they really mad?"

"Furious, dude," Jackson says. "I just said that."

"Fuck." Stiles hesitates before saying, "Okay. I'll apologize after class. I just..."

"Just what?" Jackson asks, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes. "Just talked shit about the guy that Erica's in love with?"

"Well, not exactly--"

"Just forgot your boundaries because you think you're destined to have met your soul mate in high school like your parents did?" Jackson continues. "You do realize that it doesn't always happen like that, right? And you don't have to jump from friend to friend saying you're in love like the boy who cried wolf."

"Well--"

"Food for thought," Jackson says, before gently shoving Stiles' shoulder. "I gotta get to class. But you better apologize before my party on Friday! I don't want any drama!"

"Su--sure," Stiles stammers, as if he doesn't know how to respond for once.

"Always nice to talk, Hale," Jackson says before jogging back the way he came.

"What is going on?" Stiles whines. "It's like no one wants me to be in love with Erica."

Derek glances at Stiles, and then has to look away. He could say, Maybe that's my fault. Maybe it's because everyone knows I'm desperately in love with you. Maybe it's because I've been waiting for you for so long now. But he says nothing.

Instead, he pretends to get a call and tells Stiles he'll catch up with him later.

Instead, he walks down the hall and fights the urge to look back.

Instead, he puts the phone back into his pocket without even an attempt at a fake phone call.

Some days, being in love with your best friend is too much. Even for Derek, who has years of practice at it.

♞♚♞♚

"Oh my god, you came to a party!" Kira says, giggling and clearly already drunk. She throws her arms around Derek's shoulders. "I don't think I've ever seen you at one before!"

Derek laughs, feeling more relaxed tonight than he has all week. He's going to see Stiles again, and maybe lose his tongue, but at least he's calmed down from his mini freakout on Monday. "Hey, Kira. I've been known to party occasionally."

Kira laughs. "Okay, sure. Oh my god! There's someone I've been dying for you to meet!"

Derek lets her take his hand and drag him into the crowd at Jackson's apartment. They make their way out to the balcony where a handsome, but slightly scrawny, guy stands smoking a joint.

"Isaac! This is Derek. I've told Isaac all about you, Derek. You two have a lot in common. And -"

"Kira!" a girl's voice comes from within the apartment.

"And that's my cue. Have fun!" Kira giggles as she runs back into the apartment. Derek hears her shout "Maila!" before the door shuts behind her.

Isaac sighs. "This isn't what you think it is."

"It feels like we've just been set-up," Derek murmurs, walking over to take the joint from Isaac's fingers.

"Yeah, but not in the way you think." Isaac takes a deep breath before he says, "She said you have a big house."

Derek blinks, because that's not what he was expecting. "I... do. It was left to me after my parents passed away."

Isaac winces. "Sorry to hear that, man."

"Do you need a place to crash?" Derek asks, taking another puff of the joint before handing it back to Isaac.

"Something like that," Isaac mutters. He closes his eyes and takes a long drag of the joint. Then he says, "Listen, I like Kira. I trust Kira. And Kira trusts you. So. I'm just going to say I'm in a really bad spot right now, and could use another friend."

Isaac takes a deep breath and offers Derek the joint again. Just then, his sleeve moves down, and Derek sees all he needs to know.

"Yeah, man. Any friend of Kira's is a friend of mine. Get my number from her, and we'll work it out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Derek says, nodding. "My sisters sort of live with me, but neither of them are around much. Cora's in school on the east coast, and Laura works in New York City. So, the place is kind of lonely, anyway."

"Cool. Thanks."

They stand on the balcony in silence for a few minutes, passing the joint back and forth, and then decide to go inside.

Derek's mind is spinning with what just happened, and perhaps that's why, he doesn't see Stiles coming.

Stiles throws his arms around Derek's neck from behind and swings around to face him. "Derek! I need you, right now."

He doesn't hesitate. He puts his hands on Stiles' waist and is ready to whisk him out of this party when Stiles laughs and stumbles backwards.

"Oh, that's good."

Confused, Derek asks, "What do you need me for?"

"I wanna make Erica see what she's missing!" Stiles says, swaying his hips. He frowns when Derek doesn't budge. "Dance with me, handsome."

Derek feels rusty. Like someone who hasn't danced before. He swallows hard. "I thought you apologized to her?"

"I did! A bunch of times!" Stiles says. "But I guess she's on a mission tonight to prove to me that she's really in love with Boyd. So, I wanna make her jealous."

"And I'm the way to do that?" Derek asks, unable to hide the hurt in his voice.

"Duh." Stiles shifts closer to Derek. "Is this okay?"

His mouth is dry. He manages a quiet "yes."

Derek tries to swallow again, but a lump has grown in his throat. It feels impossible, to be this close to Stiles, so suddenly after all this wanting.

Stiles tosses his head back and laughs.

He feels like he's drunk in love, Derek realizes. He sways off-beat to the music with Stiles, and he doesn't care. Being able to touch him... be this close... almost kiss him... it's almost too much.

The world pauses for a moment, and Derek blurts, "You are my best friend."

Stiles grins. "You're mine, too!"

There's a beat of silence between them. And Stiles' eyes grow wide. Does he know? Did he read it on Derek's face?

Derek frowns, untangling himself from Stiles and breaking the spell they were just under. "Sorry, I... I have to go."

"Wait, what?" Stiles asks with a panicked expression. "No, you can't just... leave."

Derek swallows and it feels like a hole just opened up beneath his feet and he's falling.

"Sorry, I got... too stoned."

Stiles' lips part.

"I'll text you," Derek finds himself promising.

He squeezes Stiles' wrist, unaware he was even holding it until now, and then he makes his way through the crowd.

"Hey, Hale!" Jackson's voice comes through. But Derek doesn't know what to do now. So, he rushes out the front door and doesn't look back. For once.

♞♚♞♚

"You gonna tell me what Friday night was about?" Lydia asks, settling in beside Derek at the picnic table in the school courtyard. Derek looks up.

"No-thing," he stumbles. "Just got too stoned."

"One minute, I see you all in love with Stilinski, and the next, you're leaving him on the dance floor." Lydia frowns and lowers her voice. "Derek, are you okay?"

He shrugs, because what is there to say? The only text he received from Stiles was a wtf and the only other message he got over the weekend was from Isaac, who has officially moved into the first spare room.

"Derek," Lydia says, her voice sharp. "Talk to me."

"I don't know, okay? He wanted to make Erica jealous or some shit, and I was too stoned to... I don't know. Deal."

Lydia considers this and then nods. "Idiot."

"Me?"

"No, not you. Stiles. He's being an idiot," Lydia says. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay." Lydia shifts on the bench and then says, "I heard what you did for Isaac. He's in one of my classes. A quiet little thing. I'm glad."

"Yeah." Derek leans forward and whispers, "I think... he was..."

"Yeah, me too." Lydia nods. "I've had my suspicions for a few months now. But he's safe now."

Derek leans back and lets out a breath. "Yeah. Yeah, he is."

Isaac had thanked him a thousand times as they moved his stuff in. It was mostly in garbage bags, so Derek's pretty sure he didn't plan on moving quite so quickly. The poor kid was shaking when Derek came to pick him and his stuff up. It's an image he'll remember for a lifetime.

"You're a great guy, Derek. I love Stilinski, I do, but the guy is a bonehead. You could do so much better," Lydia tells him, and Derek sighs. He guesses they're back to that conversation.

Derek looks up at Lydia and quietly asks, "Is that how you feel about Allison?"

Her lips part and close before she shakes her head. "Alright, point made."

"Hey," a familiar voice comes.

They turn to see Kira. She wears a bright smile, but a pair of sunglasses.

"You can't still be hungover from Jackson's party," Lydia says in lieu of a greeting.

"I ammmm," Kira whines, sitting down beside Derek. She groans dramatically before she says, "I just wanted to thank you, Derek. You're a good man. A better man than most."

He doesn't know what to say to that, so he smiles and wraps an arm around her shoulders. He squeezes her close.

"Hey! Hands off my man," another voice comes.

Derek really should've picked a less popular spot to eat lunch.

His heart pounds.

Stiles plops down beside Lydia with a wide grin. "Haven't you heard? Derek's taken."

"By who?" Lydia asks, dryly.

"By me." Stiles winks at Derek as if he should play along.

"What!" Kira says, sitting upright. "How drunk was I at Jackson's party? Since when?"

"Since Derek swept me off my feet," Stiles says, grinning.

"Oh my god! I'm so excited for you both!" Kira exclaims, and before Derek can stop her, she says, "He's been in love with you since, what, like ninth grade or something?"

Stiles blinks and looks at Derek. "Wait, what?"

"She's kidding," Derek says, but his voice is tense, and he's not sure a single person at this table believes him. Derek takes his arm back from Kira's shoulders and picks up his sandwich.

"No, no," Kira says, clearly not getting it. "When I met Derek, he was at Erica's house, high as a kite, and talking about you. Told everyone he was in love and--ow!"

Derek looks at Lydia, who has clearly kicked Kira under the table. Lydia snorts. "You can't believe everything Derek says while high, Kira. He also once pretended that he was a knight in shining armour and was going to save us all from a dragon."

Kira laughs. "Did he really?"

"I plead the fifth," Derek mutters.

"So you weren't madly in love with me?" Stiles asks, looking at Derek curiously.

Derek picks up his phone. "Shit, I'm going to be late for class."

That he doesn't have.

"I gotta go."

Anywhere but here.

"Derek, wait--" Stiles starts, but it's too late. Derek scoops up his stuff, shoves it in his backpack, and jogs towards the parking lot.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

♞♚♞♚

"Is it okay if I have a friend over?" Isaac asks when Derek gets home. He hesitates before adding, "I think you even know him. Vernon Boyd. We just have a project to work on and I can't really concentrate in the library and--"

"Isaac," Derek says gently. "Of course you can have someone over. This is your home too."

"Oh. Um. Alright, cool. Thanks." Isaac starts to walk towards the kitchen when he pauses and asks, "Are you alright, man?"

Derek laughs. He doesn't mean to, but the sound bursts out of him anyway. He shakes his head. "I'll be fine."

Isaac frowns, but lets it go for now which is exactly what Derek needs. He crashes on the couch, flipping through Disney Plus aimlessly looking for an easy-watching kids' show to watch.

He's almost half way through his fifth episode when someone knocks at the door. Isaac darts down the hall, pausing in the living room archway to say, "That'll be Boyd."

"Okay," Derek says, absentmindedly.

A few minutes later, Isaac comes into the living room with Boyd and says, "We're going to go in the kitchen, if that's okay. Don't want to--"

"Nah," Derek says, shaking his head. "Study in here. It's more comfortable. I was going to go take a nap anyway."

"Oh! If you're sure." Isaac hesitates before asking, "Are you sure you're okay?"

Derek looks at them, with Boyd quietly watching him, and shrugs. "It's dumb."

"I highly doubt that," Boyd says, almost startling Derek with how smooth his voice is. "Isaac told me something was up. Hope that's okay."

"Um. Yeah. It's fine. It's really nothing."

But when Isaac and Boyd settle into the chairs, Derek finds himself talking. A lot. He explains the whole situation starting from ninth grade to this afternoon.

"And I don't really get it," Derek continues, almost out of breath. "Like, why is he using me like this?"

"Sounds like he doesn't get it," Boyd counters.

"Have you told him anything?" Isaac asks.

Derek shakes his head. "No, but I'm sure Kira and Lydia told him after I left today. He hasn't even texted or called or... I don't know. Done anything."

"Sucks," Isaac says.

"Definitely sucks," Boyd agrees.

Derek rubs his face. "What do I do now?"

"Let him go?" Isaac suggests.

"I can't. That's the annoying part," Derek admits. "There's just... so much history. And he's really a great guy. He's just been all obsessed with this idea that he's in love, and I don't think he even really believes it."

"Why do you say that?" Boyd asks, shifting on his chair to lean in. He studies Derek with his intense brown eyes, filled with concern, and Derek melts. No wonder why Erica's mad for him.

"I think he chooses people who are emotionally unavailable so he won't get hurt. Because if he chooses someone real, well, he'd actually be risking something." Derek sighs.

Boyd smiles. "I appreciate you sharing all of this with me, especially because we don't know each other well."

"Ditto," Isaac says. "And my advice? Maybe just... talk to him?"

"Tell him how you really feel. And that's why you can't pretend to see him to make Erica jealous." Boyd pauses before asking, "How do you know Erica wouldn't be jealous, though?"

"She's in love with yo--" Derek catches himself but it's a beat too late.

Boyd blinks, and then a bright grin crosses his face. "Sorry, gentlemen, but I think there's somewhere I need to be."

Isaac laughs. "By all means, man, go get your girl."

Boyd pauses to add to Derek, "Talk to him. He has no idea what's going on in your head. Good luck."

Derek watches in bewilderment as Boyd leaves. He turns to Isaac and asks, "Is that dude for real? He finds out Erica's slightly interested in him and he just... goes to talk to her?"

Isaac laughs. "Yeah. Boyd's been madly in love with her ever since they first met. Said she was a goddess. Claimed she was an angel without her wings."

"And... and he's just going to go tell her?"

"Yeah. He just wanted to be sure that she felt the same for him," Isaac says, before adding, "Why? Hoping Stiles is doing the same?"

Derek exhales. "If only."

♞♚♞♚

Feeling a little more hopeful than before, Derek knocks on Stiles' dorm room door. He doesn't know what he's going to say. But he knows he has to say something. He's been running from this for far too long.

He holds coffee in his hand, realizing that it may be a mistake to give Stiles coffee at midnight, but it's too late now.

Stiles' roommate, Scott, opens the door. "Oh! Derek. Hi."

"Hi, is Stiles here?" Derek asks.

"I don't know what happened between you two," Scott says, carefully. "But ever since Monday, he's been moping around. I'm not even sure he wants to talk to you."

"Yes, he does!" Stiles calls out from somewhere in the dorm room.

Scott frowns, narrowing his eyes on Derek. "If you hurt him, I hurt you. Got it?"

"Got it," Derek says, although he's pretty sure he could win in a fight against Scott. But he's not about to say that.

Scott opens the door for Stiles to slip through.

"Hey," Stiles says.

"Hey. Wanna go for a walk?"

"Sure. Let me grab a sweater."

Stiles slips back into the dorm and Scott gestures that he's watching Derek. He almost wants to tell Scott that he's got this all wrong. It's going to be his heart to break tonight.

A few minutes later, Stiles comes back in a red hoodie. He happily takes a coffee and says, "Let's go."

Derek doesn't know what to say, not even when they get into the elevator, so he stays quiet.

Stiles asks, "Did you hear that Erica and Boyd are officially dating?"

"Oh?" Derek says, as if he didn't already know this. "That's great for them. How... um. How are you?"

"Surprisingly... fine," Stiles says, but his voice sounds stiff.

"That's good."

Their shoulders brush when they both move to exit the elevator. Derek steps back to let Stiles go first.

They don't say anything until they're walking along the path by the pond.

"So, you're in love with me, huh?" Stiles asks.

Derek swallows, unsure what to say. He knew this would come up. Knew that he'd have to admit it tonight. But saying the words seems a lot harder.

"I wish I had known!" Stiles says, when Derek doesn't answer. "Here I am, mooning over these people, begging to be in love like my friends, and here you were. The whole time. But you didn't say anything. Why?"

"Because you weren't mooning over me," Derek mumbles. Suddenly, he's lost his nerve. "I don't know. Why didn't you ever tell Erica you were in love with her?"

"Because I wasn't!" Stiles says.

They both stop walking to stare at each other.

"You weren't?"

"No. I wasn't. I... I see that now." Stiles rubs his hands together. "In fact, I don't think I've ever been in love before. But..."

"But?"

"I don't know," Stiles admits. "I think I'd like to be."

Derek considers this, and then quietly says, "Stiles, would you like to go on a date with me?"

His eyes light up. "Really? Even if I'm not in love with you too?"

Derek smiles. "I've had a long time to be in love with you. Are you sure you're ready for something real?"

Stiles beams. "I am."

Derek holds his hand out and Stiles slips his fingers in between Derek's fingers.

It might not be the love story Derek expected, and it might burn hot and fizzle out, but he's relieved to have finally let his fears go and try.

♞♚♞♚

Three months later...

"Derek! Can you please tell Stiles he can't strip down naked every time he comes over without seeing if I'm home first?" Isaac calls down the hall.

Derek laughs. "Sure thing, Isaac. But you might not want to come into the kitchen."

"Aw, c'mon, man!" Isaac calls back. "In the kitchen? Really?"

"We're making breakfast," Stiles calls out. "But give me a second to put on more than the apron."

Stiles turns to Derek and motions for him to hand over Derek's blue sweater and a pair of sweatpants.

"Isaac is going to kill me if we keep doing this," Derek says.

"Yeah, well, he's going to have to get used to it. I'm not going anywhere."

"No?" Derek murmurs, leaning forward for a kiss. Their lips touch briefly before they hear a groan from the hallway.

"Did you two burn the toast again?"

Stiles and Derek both turn to see the toaster has popped up with black toast. "Crap! Derek, it was your turn to watch the toast."

"It's hardly my fault that you decided to get naked and distract me," Derek says, moving towards the toaster to deal with the burnt toast. He starts to pull it out, wincing at the heat, and glances over his shoulder to see Stiles is fully clothed again. He pouts.

"It's okay," Stiles says, coming up behind him and whispering in his ear. "I love you too, Derek."

It might not be the moment he imagined, but it's theirs, and it's perfect, and that's all that matters.

"Guys, is it safe to come into the kitchen yet?"

Derek laughs.

♞♚♞♚

[to-eat-laugh-love-in-peace]

So I have a theory that the next season of Trigun Stampede is going to tackle the Fifth Moon Incident seeing as one, there have been a few official merchandise that depicted one or more moons in the background such as a t-shirt depicting the phases of the moon right beside the series’ title and above Vash and Wolfwood who are standing back to back with their guns drawn,

a Vash figure that again has him with his gun drawn depicting not only three moons but also Jeneora Rock, which was where the Fifth Moon Incident took place in the manga, behind him,

and a poster from the Blu-ray Soundtrack CD Booklet depicting Vash releasing a grappling hook from his prosthetic arm towards the general direction of the largest of the three moons present in the background, with the friction from the grappling hook being released causing sparks to fly,

and two, in the end credits scene in episode 12 an unbroken shot of the crater-laden surface of a moon overlooking a red and brown planet that I think is supposed to be No Man’s Land is shown while two people can be heard talking to each other off-screen. This leads me to think that Chronica and the other members of Project Pieces of Earth are going to have something to do with the Fifth Moon Incident happening this time around as seen how one of the two voices belongs to an unidentified man, who says that Project Pieces of Earth is entering phase two now that the drain gate deployment has been completed and the experimental warp drive craft is just about to be released, only for the other voice belonging to a woman later identified as Special Ops Lieutenant Colonel Independent Chronica, to give him the order to suspend the countdown because she notices a fluctuation in the gate, that they’re receiving something via subspace, and so she gives the order to be given readings of the entire solar system from which they learn that the noise is coming from Project SEEDS, which leads to Zazie letting Meryl know that ships from Earth will arrive at No Man’s Land after crossing a bridge of light thanks to the twins casting a bridge across the void during their confrontation in July when they met up at the memorial, before they take off. Also, in Tristamp’s iteration of the July Incident, when Vash tries to keep the excess energy from his gate he had condensed into the cube he kept contained within his demon arm from killing every living being on the planet and even possibly destroying the entire planet itself once the cube came apart, he couldn’t just point his demon arm up at the sky from where he was standing like he did in Trimax and ‘98, he had to actually fly past the planet’s atmosphere in order to release the blast into space so he’s likely going to enter into another fight with Knives that takes place in space for the Fifth Moon Incident to take place so they might be bringing in the Ark.

And on top of that, I think that the series of events that lead up to the Fifth Moon Incident are going to be combined with the series of events that lead up to another incident in Trimax where Vash nearly caused another July Incident, the Dragon’s Nest Incident, seeing as the people present and had a role to play in the Dragon’s Nest Incident were Hoppered the Gauntlet, Midvalley the Hornfreak, Zazie the Beast, Legato Bluesummers, Elendira the Crimsonnail, Millions Knives, Vash the Stampede, Nicholas the Punisher, Meryl Stryfe, and Milly Thompson, and in Tristamp, and in Tristamp Hoppered is pretty much confirmed to show up since his entire character hinges on the destruction of July City, Midvalley was name dropped in a newspaper article Roberto was reading in episode 6 about how he was scheduled to perform in September City for his live tour, Milly was also name dropped and practically confirmed to appear in S2 as Meryl’s very own newbie, with Meryl literally heading back to HQ to pick her up, Vash, Meryl, and Wolfwood have traveled together and gotten to know each other for at least two months prior to Lost July, with episode 1 taking place at May 25 and episode 12 taking place at July 21, which they were personally there to witness, and even play a part in, with Meryl learning not only more about Vash but also Wolfwood thanks to Conrad after getting kidnapped by Zazie and held hostage at the EoM’s base of operations in July City on top of receiving her signature weapon that is her derringer from Roberto and solidifying her resolve to go after Vash and help him however way she can to stop Knives from killing off each and every human on the planet, and Legato and Elendira have already made an appearance, however brief they were, so the cast lines up.

Starting with Vash having to leave behind his life with Lina and Sheryl as Eriks, I think that bringing him back into the fray in S2 is going to be group effort among Meryl, Milly, and Wolfwood for reasons others have pointed here and here, and that S2 is going to take the scene of Meryl returning Vash’s belongings that had been confiscated by the Bernardelli Insurance Society now that it had gone out of business with everything that had been happening with Knives and the ark in Trimax, and have it be her returning Vash’s belongings that he didn’t bring with him to July and instead left on Ship 3, like his photo of him, Nai, and Rem, along with the other photos of them and maybe even that recorder thing that Rem used to film their first birthday that Brad had been able to bring back from the ruins of Ship 5 back then and also that notebook he was shown writing what were likely journal entries during the flashback to the first few years he spent living in Ship 3, among other things like small trinkets he’s kept during his travels around No Man’s Land in Tristamp, since he was kind of pressed for time what with Meryl and Roberto getting kidnapped by Zazie so he really only brought the bare necessities with him to July.

That is assuming Meryl was able to visit Ship 3 at some point after the July incident which I like to think that she was able to one way or another even if she did leave on short notice. I figured that with how well Meryl and Luida got along while she was on Ship 3, especially with how supportive Meryl was of Luida’s goal to terraform No Man’s Land into a green planet with the flora she’s been growing in Ship 3’s biodome in order to lessen the strain the plants, they would want to keep in touch with one another somehow from that point on. And then there’s also the fact that Zazie told her that ships from Earth were on their way to No Man’s Land so Meryl would want to talk to a first-generation Project SEEDS crew member about it which I wonder how it’ll go since it seems like in Tristamp no one not even the people on Ship 3 seems to hace any idea that there's still life of Earth seeing as Luida’s plan in Tristamp isn't to repeatedly send a message to Earth until their receive and respond to it like it was in Trimax but to terraform No Man’s Land into a green planet in order to lessen the amount of work that the Plants have to do in order to keep humanity alive. Also, I also have a theory that the new pairs of earrings that she’s shown wearing two years after the July Incident aren't just for show, that they were given to her by Ship 3 and they work kind of like how Vash's earring does in '98 and Trimax where it acts as a hidden communication device connected to a pen or just the other earring in her case since she owns a pair ever since I heard someone, somewhere, forgot where, point out that Meryl’s new earrings look not only like a combination of her signature dangle earrings and Vash's signature huggie earring in silver, but also like a Dependent Plant with their petals curled to form a bulb around their upper torsos, I haven’t stopped thinking about it ever since.

I’ve theorized before in the tags of another post here that Brilliant Dynamites Neon and Meryl might have a confrontation with each other in S2 since although the two haven’t interacted much outside of her and Milly disguising themselves as members of the Bad Lads Gang to later back up Vash and Kaite when they’re cornered by the Bad Lads Gang during their heist on the sand steamer in the ‘98 and Trimax, in both iterations Neon took the time to ask Vash about what exactly happened in July that led to the city being destroyed, and in '98 its residents being left alive but homeless unemployed and impoverished leading them to fight and kill each other to survive in the fallout of the incident, and in Trimax its residents being swallowed by a black hole leading to no survivors or even any bodies left to be found which led Vash to ask him if he had folks who were in July at the time of the incident and then admit that he just didn't remember much about July when asked if he had anything to do with it which Neon was forced to accept before the two had a duel and then after Neon shot a rock about to crush Vash's head during their duel he was revealed to have been prepared to kill Vash for some time since July only for him to decide spare him for now not having let go of his reasons for wanting revenge post-July to stay true to the terms of their duel as was pointed out in this post.

Now in Tristamp Meryl was not only in July when the incident took place but was also there to witness firsthand what exactly happened for the city to have been completely demolished and more than half of its population to have been killed by a large explosion. Also, unlike Vash in '98, Trimax, and possibly Tristamp she didn't develop amnesia from the traumatic incident and still retains her memories of the incident. On top of that, she along with Roberto were announced on the radio to be suspected accomplices of Vash the Stampede who the military police were looking to bring in as persons of interest in episode 4, and she’s implied to have been spending the past two years since the July Incident defending Vash as was pointed out here. And then add in the fact that she's met the Bad Lads Gang when they took her and Roberto with them to the sandsteamer to take pictures of them during their heist to publish in the paper before Vash came in and knocked them out and all of this took place on July 20, the day before the July Incident took place, meaning that they could recognise her if they tried to find her. Also I wonder why Neon wasn't on the ship at the time like was he visiting his folks in July only to be pulled away when he heard that the heist was a bust because the ship was taken off course and its ion cannon was locked and loaded to fire at Hopeland? And if Neon had folks in July in Tristamp then what's their deal since it's been said to be the wealthiest city in NML with its citizens having to contribute to the city's development and pass a screening process to obtain citizenship according to additional lore provided in a tweet by Studio Orange.

I’ve also theorized in the tags of another post here whether or not Studio Orange will adapt the Little Arcadia arc considering what they've established with the flora in S2 which I think that they’ll likely adapt it because one, that’s when Marilyn Nebraska along with her mother and brothers make an appearance in Triamax and in Tristamp she’s been seen in wanted posters from time to time confirming her existence in this iteration, and two it puts a lot of focus on Meryl and Milly, like it provides some insight into their personal lives with their families and everything, as well as who they are as individuals and as partners, and with Milly being confirmed to show up in S2 as Meryl's very own newbie it's going to be crucial that they take some time for them to get to know each other and grow closer. Besides that if they ever do adapt the Little Arcadia arc I wonder how they would adapt Badwick and his family? With how Meryl reacted to the flora and by extension Geo Plants on Ship 3 are Geo-Plants just that rare even among Plants? Does no one else really try to use them to grow flora to the extent that Luida does? If so, what would that mean for Badwick's parents? Are they people who have no connection to Luida or Ship 3 and simply happen to share her dream to terraform NML into a green planet through the use of a Geo-Plant they have in their possession only for their dream to be threatened by their son planning to sell the land to someone who wouldn't really take care of it not to the extent that they have and certainly not with the dream that they hold? Or is something else going to go on with them?

Moving onto Legato, I think that when he does reappear in S2 he’s already going to be in a body cast like his Trimax counterpart was in since I think that the reason why he wasn’t in the S1 finale was because Knives crippled him prior to Vash’s arrival as punishment for acting on his own when he had taken the sandsteamer off of its original course to July through the use of his telekinetic ability to have it collide with Hopeland instead, leading Vash to take even longer to get to July after he had exhausted himself from communicating with the ship’s Plant to slow the ship to a stop, on top of redirecting the ship’s ion cannon which he had also telekinetically manipulated to power up to keep it from firing at Hopeland, fighting with Livio who he had sent after him, and fighting off the Bad Lads Gang who’d taken over the ship and held Meryl and Roberto hostage, and so had to be taken to Ship 3 to rest and recuperate for more than half of the day he was supposed to have already arrived in July, when he was just supposed to take the ship’s Plant once it arrived to July and further raise the stakes by stranding the ship’s passengers, leaving them with no other choice than to seek refuge in the city.

Either leading him to focus either solely on Vash after possibly both out of anger for being responsible for Knives’ state after July, nevermind the fact that Knives wouldn’t have been in that state had he not continued to put himself in Vash’s demon arm’s line of fire to reach for the cube despite Vash yelling at him to stop, to get out of the way, that he’s going to burn himself alive if keeps this up, and shame because his actions had led him to be put in a position where he couldn’t assist Knives when he surely would have needed it most, or direct his attention to Vash along with Wolfwood and Meryl because all three of them, in his eyes, had a part in Knives’ being severely injured, if not nearly dead after July. Or at least in Wolfwood’s case, he was the reason why Meryl had gotten out of July before the incident took place which I’m sure he wouldn’t be very happy about.

For a moment I thought that the idea of him meeting Vash for the first time since July in a full metal body cast like the coffin-shaped one that was either carried around by a lackey, attached to a motorcycle he would drive around, or attached to a sort of arm piece that would prop him up or push him forward his Trimax counterpart was in when he introduces him to the game he’s set up wouldn’t be likely since it would be a bit too conspicuous for him to go out in public in but then I remembered that his Trimax counterpart had also used his ability to make himself invisible to everyone but Vash in their first meeting, which was why Meryl and Milly expressed confusion when Vash warned Wolfwood about him on the bus ride to Jeneora Rock, so he could also just do that in Tristamp. And the thought of Vash being the only one who is able to see him in this utterly ridiculous contraption while everyone else just goes about their day like nothing’s wrong is such a funny mental image to me.

Since Monev is dead in Tristamp, I think that the one who Vash is going get into a fight with first after Legato introduces him to the game that he’s set up for him is Dominique the Cyclops because when he fights her in Trimax, he’s down one arm after he had his prosthetic arm blown off during his fight with Monev, and in Tristamp he’s also down one arm after he had sacrificed his prosthetic arm along with his gun to form his demon arm during his fight with Knives in July so the circumstances he’s in in Tristamp kind of line up with the circumstances he was in in Trimax. Also, Studio Orange could could easily give Dominique a backstory in Tristamp similar to Monev’s in Trimax with just a few changes to act as a parallel to Legato’s backstory, considering how they revamped Monev’s backstory to act as a parallel to Wolfwood’s backtory in Tristamp, again with just a few changes made for it to also act as a cautionary tale for both Wolfwood and Vash.

Seeing as what we do know about her is that she talks about the deaths of half of the Roderick Slavers as a simple matter of taking out the trash that profits off of the suffering of others, even calls it spring cleaning, and expresses happiness and relief over the surviving slavers having left town and no longer lining their pockets at the expense of the townspeople and expects Vash to feel the same, she has the ability to induce sensory paralysis in her foes, momentarily stunning them and making her movements appear immediate, when she lifts her eyepatch, which reveals a reptilian eye that I like to think is simply from a mutation rather than a product of experimentation, and locks eyes with her foes, regardless of the distance between them, and she commits suicide after she loses to Vash, saying that if she couldn’t be of use to Legato, then there was only one way this could turn out, which already kind of mirrors how Legato acts when it comes to Knives.

So she could made to be another slave girl who Legato freed for whatever reason, maybe not even with the intention to free her, like how he violently killed over a dozen people with his powers in front of those slave girls in Trimax, not because he intended to free them but because the slavers picked a fight with him first, though he did spare the girls, none of them were physically harmed at all despite the carnage, and he did offer them the closest thing he had to reassurances before he left, when he could have just ignored them, which he also could have done when he freed Dominique, the difference being that instead of being left to process what exactly went down in front of her like those girls did, Dominique expressed an interest to learn from him, work for him, if he’d let her, which Legato did allow her to do, though not without warning her that she would die a slow and painful death if she ever failed or disobeyed him, maybe after learning about her left eye’s ability and figuring that it could prove useful to further Knives’ cause much like his own ability.

Since Grey the Ninelives had also made an appearance, both as the mech suit in episode 3 and as the nine people who control it in episode 10, the attack on Ship 3 is all but guaranteed to take place, and I’ve also theorized in the tags of another post here that Meryl and Milly are going to play a much larger role to take them down probably alongside Wolfwood unlike in Trimax when they really showed up at the end of the fight as comic relief like they literally just happened to land on top of the surviving pilots right when they were just about to try and attack Wolfwood again since in Tristamp Meryl got to learn more about them when Conrad took her and Roberto in a tour around the Eye of Michael’s base of operations in July after she and Roberto had gotten kidnapped but not kept locked up by Zazie so she could be how Wolfwood finds out that this big guy is just a mech suited being piloted by nine people and in Trimax there’s this line that the guy who gave Meryl her first derringer says in a flashback something along the lines of how even small gun like that could even the odds between the biggest guy and her which really gives off a lot of David and Goliath vibes that they could and I kind of want them to reference during the fight. Though I’ve briefly considered that Milly is going to be the one who gets kidnapped instead of Meryl since she’s already gotten kidnapped before by Zazie in episode 9 during which she learned more about not only Vash but also Wolfwood thanks to Conrad in episode 10 and even had gone through quite a bit character development in an elevator lift thanks to Roberto later on, I think that Meryl is still the one who's going to get kidnapped, probably to keep Vash from reaching Knives before he’s fully recovered from his injuries this time around, seeing as Wolfwood did tell her he got her out of July in a mad dash that they were likely going to be hunted down by the Eye of Michael since they’ll never allow those who pose a threat to them to survive so maybe they’re eventually going to catch up to her and then take her away when she finds herself in a vulnerable position, maybe when she’s in the middle of looking out for Milly during a fight.

Which would automatically give Milly a personal stake to get Meryl back alongside Vash and Wolfwood since not only was she there when Meryl was taken away but also she was the reason why Meryl had been taken away despite how vigilant she’d been since she was aware of what was going on. And could lead to Wolfwood and Milly having an argument over whether or not she should come with them to get Meryl back.

Wolfwood could also have a conversation with Meryl after her kidnapping about what Vash and Knives are and what they can do as well as how Meryl should maybe back out and take Milly with her like he did in Trimax, which would be a stark contrast to how he planned to leave her and Roberto behind to be digested by a grand worm to separate them from Vash so he could get he alone would bring him to July as was pointed here and here. This could be something Meryl might seriously consider doing especially when she keeps in mind the fact that they’re fighting actual supervillains and she’s nowhere near on par with Vash and Wolfwood physically, so how is she supposed to protect an intern, who is bigger and stronger than her, as the situations become more and more dangerous, and on top of all that she’s still dealing with her grief and guilt over Roberto death so she wouldn’t want to risk repeating history with Milly.

Since Zazie appears to no longer side with Knives after what he had pulled in July nearly put them and their planet in danger of being wiped out, with how Wolfwood pointed out that he had never seen them so flustered when the two met up just outside of July, and how Zazie expressed confusion and borderline disappointment towards how the general public made Vash out to be the villain behind the July Incident when they and Meryl met up at the memorial, it’s unlikely that they’re going to be ones to kidnap Meryl this time around, with that role either falling to Midvalley or someone else. I think that it's going to be Midvalley since he was the one who commented on Zazie being the one to come up with the idea to kidnap Meryl and hold her hostage to draw Vash out in Trimax so why not just have him be the one to come up with the idea instead in Tristamp, seeing as there’s also this scene during his and Hoppered’s fight with Vash and Wolfwood where he manipulates the sound waves in the area in such a way that Vash can’t hear Hoppered lunging right at him so that could be how he catches Meryl off guard.

I didn’t even bother considering Hoppered to be the one to kidnap her since I think he’s much more likely to try to kill her the first chance he gets when you keep in mind that in Tristamp not only does Meryl know more about what's going on in than her ‘98 and Trimax counterparts have at this point of the series as was pointed out here but also she’s been implied to have spent the past two years since the July incident defending Vash’s name seeing as the first scene we see of her two years after the July incident was her ripping off Vash’s new wanted poster of the wall of the rest stop she stopped by at and then she later gets scolded and even threatened to be transferred to the insurance society by her coworker if she kept acting on her own after she told him she was at the crater so Hoppered definitely wouldn’t think killing her right then and there would be meaningless like he did in Trimax.

Lastly, seeing as Elendira was first introduced in Dragon’s Nest in Trimax, in Tristamp it could be where she could make a reappearance and have that rematch with Wolfwood Kenji Muto mentioned in a post on his twitter that depicted an older Elendira dressed and posed just like her Trimax counterpart, even holding that suitcase from where she would fire her nails in Trimax so I'm guessing that it’s somehow supposed to help her generate larger nails from her gate, did in the only flashback we ever see of her where she follows behind Knives from Legato’s perspective so she likely won’t show up just to keep Vash from firing his angel arm, or I guess demon arm in Tristamp, and retrieve Legato on Knives’ orders.

[firstdivisiongirl]

Tuesday Confessions

I decided I’m going to let you all know a little bit about me that no one really knows:

I really enjoy Doflamingo and Law as characters. They are both so complex and just interesting. The relationship between the two is so well written and it’s just…wow. Don’t get me wrong, every character and relationship in this story is great, but their’s just hits different for me!

I know I’ll get a ton of hate for this. I CAN’t STAND NARUTO. I only enjoy like five characters (Kakashi, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Rock Lee and Shikamara)

The random kid Pirates stories were actually inspired by my sister’s commentary when I tell her about one piece.

On wattpad, for my friend’s birthday like 9 years ago (yes I’m old), she wanted me to help her write a One Direction fan fic where her and I met them. It was so bad! I’d write a normal fluffy fanfic chapter and then she’d write the next chapter and BOOM, evil twin or something weird that made no sense!!!! I had to adapt to these, which was awful to do as a writer. Don’t ask me the name, I don’t remember it. Plus, IT NEEDS TO DIE!!!

My favorite one piece ship is Sabo x Koala.

My sister and I have anime character nicknames for each other based on personality. She calls me Koala (OP) and I call her Geto (JJK). It’s her bangs that creates that nickname!

Any time I create an OC, their birthday is a nod to someone in their life or their story. Ex. Colette (Lettie) my OC with Sanji, who is a pastry chef, is born on October 14 which is National Dessert Dayy

[girlwithherheadinthestars]

tips for editing novels i wrote instead of editing

these are mainly targeted to people who find it hard to focus on editing (like yours truly) but really helps for anyone.

work section by section. i started doing this and it wasn't working because i kept reading on to the section after instead of focusing on editing the one section so what i did is copy paste the section (each should be no more than like 1000 words) onto another document and work on it there. read it over and over again until it sounds the way you want it to sound that copy paste it onto the other document and move on to the next section.

sit somewhere quiet. absolutely quiet.

no music.

turn off the wifi on your phone and on your laptop.

to get the emotion right in a scene, listen to music that embodies it. can't catch me now (olivia rodrigo) and east of eden (zella day) are what i'm listening to right now. of course, i can't write and listen to music at the same time because that's the kind of person i am but before you start writing, listen to the music and really get in the feels because emotion is what drives a story forward more than plot

i actually saw an author say this, i can't remember who, but it's good to have a song that evokes emotion so you can write the emotion properly

THESAURUSES. lifesavers. i can't come up with the perfect word to describe something because i have poor memory but the thesaurus always remembers (am i even spelling it right?)

drink water. (now. stand up. if you don't istg i'll find you.)

change the cliches. don't say it was a dark and stormy night. say it was a starless night that smothered even the smallest lamp lit in the little window of a small store at the edge of the abandoned town.

don't tell me what happened, tell me how it felt. it was not cold. her nose stung and her fingernails turned blue, she stamped her feet to keep warm, she shivered despite herself, her teeth chattering.

i think the trick is to search for every time you used the word 'was' and change it to a feeling

read aloud. do impressions. make your annoying character sound like your social studies teacher from 11th grade. have fun with it. just make sure the dialogue doesn't sound stiff and make sure the sentences flow well.

as a rule, shorter sentences flow better and are easier to understand

add more internal monologue, have your character try to reason things in their heads, don't have them just observe what's happening.

this is something i struggle with but if you have a mystery with a grand reveal in the end, keep track of what your readers know and don't know. reveal tiny clues that only fit when you finally see the full picture. be as evil with it as you want.

for motivation, reread your favorite scene (mine is the mc and love interest being adorable)

also, imagine the book being published. who would you dedicate it to? how many people would make tumblr posts analyzing it, how many people would make memes, who would the fandom ship?

finally, unrelated to editing, but if you must kill off characters, don't do it just because you want something dramatic and you need the plot to move forward, only do it for two reasons:

a) it completes the character's arc (i.e. they were afraid of death but when someone they truly loved was in danger they jumped in front of a bullet to save them)

b) they're going to come back to life later as a metaphor for phoenixes rising or something

personally, my favorite thing to do is to leave the death ambiguous. no one will know if the character really died or not (not even me)

[laney-rockin]

OKAY OKAY OKAY.

I know I haven't made a whole "my thoughts on -insert star trek episode here- for a while [I've been so busy and surprisingly to me doing a sport for two weeks straight will murder any energy I have]

BUT THIS WEEK WAS THE SNW SEASON 2 FINALE AND I COULDN'T NOT TALK ABOUT IT.

FIRSTLY. Chapel, babes. GET THE FUCK OVER SPOCK HOLY FUCK. Spock, babygirl, GET THE FUCK OVER CHAPEL. You two are not soulmates, you will never be soulmates. I am tired of watching you two hold hands and look in each other's eyes while you could be GOING BACK TO THE SHIP HOLY FUCK MOVE.

SECONDLY. WHAT THE FUCK?!?! The Gorn are shown to be a highly advanced society capable of fucking WARP. What the actual fuck is SNW doing trying to push a "they're monsters that eat humans and babies" narrative. YOU MURDERED A CHILD. NO FUCKING WONDER THE GORN HATE YOU.

THIRDLY. Batel and Pike are kinda cute together I can see how they're meant to be together. Kinda weak making Batel get bitten by a Gorn but go off SNW- make some decisions. Would've been way fucking cooler to have Batel get into more action without getting bitten just so Pike can have some sad man moments. But what do I know? I'm not even out of high school, I cannot possibly fathom what is going on in these people's minds.

SPEAKING OF WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THESE PEOPLE'S MINDS- WHAT THE ACTUAL FLIPPITY FLAPPING FUCKING HELL ARE Y'ALL DOING ON A COVERT MISSION WITH SEVENTEEN MILLION LIGHTS ON YOU. THE COLONY IS BURNING AROUND Y'ALL- THAT'S ENOUGH LIGHT HOLY FUCKING SHIT IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE SEEN BY THE LIZARDS WHO YOU DECIDED ARE CANONICALLY SENSITIVE TO LIGHT DON'T WEAR FUCKING LIGHTS.

Also Chapel uselessly looking out the window to stare at the Enterprise was so fucking stupid. I get her flashlight didn't work but also like- she had an HOUR until she ran out of oxygen/life support. Where is the hustle? Personally I would be having an actual legit panic attack as I searched for a spacesuit and extra flashlight instead of just staring at the Enterprise and calling Spock's name.

ALSO [In my opinion that means nothing] THE "TO BE CONTINUED" SCREEN FUCKING SUCKED. The ending was not satisfying at all in an "I wanna see more!" kinda way. It was more of a "LET THIS "ADVENTURE" FUCKING END" kinda way.

In my opinion the only thing that saved this episode was Scotty, my role model and the biggest reason why I wanna do aerospace engineering. That man was amazing and stole the show for me, every single time we had to cut away to see Spock and Chapel be annoying I just wished I could see Scotty again. He was so fucking cool and so fucking nerdy and just the coolest man ever.

Speaking of introducing legacy characters: next season they have to bring in Bones McCoy. And I guarantee it's gonna be top-tier because SNW seems hellbent on just ruining Spock and Chapel atm. But if they touch the grumpy country doctor and don't give him and Spock the stupidest yet so in character reason for them to just start bickering like two old woman at the bazaar I will riot.

All in all- a "what the fuck was that" episode. Loved Uhura, Pelia, Scotty and everyone else but Spock and Chapel. Their actors I have no ill will towards [I think they're both super cool and I'd love to meet them someday] but I just cannot actually stand their characters in scenes together. That's just me tho!!

[head-of-sea-foam-the-system]

In-System Relationships

Sorry this took so long. We’ve been really excited about this one. Next comic will be about signs that were missed. Bonus points if you can guess the sources of any of our fictives (I think one is pretty obvious if you know the source).

Unrelated to DID: My Very Good Friend @petticoatedmouse made a Discord server for people who like sewing. No particular level of experience required.

Here is the link:

[Image description:

Note: Their identities are listed because they are holding their flags in the comic.

First image, panel 1: A grey background with two people, Jenny (she/her), a fictive, who is demisexual and pansexual, and Omara (ze/zir), who isn’t an introject, but based parts of their appearance on a video game character. Omara is sapphic and has an unlabeled gender. The caption reads “In-system relationships… …quite a complex phenomenon.”

Panel 2: A pink background with the outline of a red heart and the captions, “So complex, in fact, that we can even feel the attraction on the outside. But only if the alter experiencing attraction is fronting or co-conscious.”

Panel 3: A grey background showing Worlds (she/they), a lesbian introject (who is also a vampire), and Kelly (she/her), a bisexual factive, holding hands. The caption says, “Sometimes, there are very much like out-of-system relationships.”

Panel 4: Worlds, whose bat wings are now visible, is flying through space with Kelly on their back. The captions are in white boxes and they read, “Other times, not so much” and “Yeah, I don’t think singlets typically fly through space (our innerworld is in space) on their partner’s back.”

Second image, panel 1: A sea foam green background with the words, “Of course, not every headmate wants this. We just have a lot of in-system relationships.”

Panel 2: A stage with a keyboard, microphone, and part of a drum set visible with a grey background is shown. Two alters are standing on it, Bay (she/her), a fictive who is ambiamorous and omnisexual, is standing by the piano looking at Sodium, and Sodium (she/her), an ambiamorous lesbian, is standing by the mic looking at Bay. The caption says: “They can be just as complex as out of system relationships… (yes, we have a stage in headspace where we perform whatever we’re listening to IRL).”

Panel 3: Captions say, “…and just as full of love.” and “While we have several polyamorous and ambiamorous headmatss, we don’t have any throuples or other with more than two partners. Systems that do have these are absolutely valid though.” Sodium is shown sitting on a grey bench on a grey background with another factive, Radium (she/her), who is demiromantic, demisexual, and trixensexual.

Panel 4: A sea foam green background with the caption, “They are very important in our system. When partners spend time together, it improves our overall mental health.”

Third image, panel 1: A sea foam green background with the caption, “This gets more complicated with introjects. Sodium and Radium are factives from the same source, but they aren’t dating IRL, which is a bit awkward. And yes, it’s valid to have factives who are dating IRL. We just don’t have any.”

Panel 2: Caption: “With fictives, it’s a little different. You may be fan favorites or even canon. Or you may be an unpopular ship or not canon (valid as long as there are no problematic elements) (no, they’re not getting married, this is how they dress in source).” It shows Jules (he/they), a bi demiboy, and Alicia (she/they), a pan girl (both fictives) on a grey background, looking at each other.

Panel 3: Caption: “And yes, it’s also valid to have fictives who aren’t dating their source-partner. Whether that’s because you don’t have an introject of them…” Cristina (she/they), who is pan, is shown on a grey background, saying, “If we had an introject of him, and he asked me out, I’d say yes.”

Panel 4: Caption: “…or because they’re simply not attracted to them (although in this case, we don’t have an introject of him either- thank goodness).” Eugenia (she/any), who is pan, and Mercedes (she/they/he), who is non-binary and straight (we chose to include that because they aren’t cis), are shown on a gray background saying, “Ewwwwww!”

Fourth image, panel 1: A sea foam green background with the caption: “Of course, in-system relationships aren’t for everyone.”

Panel 2: Rhombus (they/them), who is gendervoid, agender, and aroace, is shown on a grey background, with a caption and arrow next to them that reads, “Not interested in any kind of relationship.”

Panel 3: Three alters, Inflexible (they/them) (introject), who is lesbian, oriented aroace, and bellusaroace, Grey (they/he) (introject), who is non-binary and aroace, and Jayde (they/them), who is oriented aroace, pomosexual, and liagender, are shown on a grey background. Caption: “All three are interested in QPRs, and all three have experienced tertiary attraction towards people in the outerworld, but they are not interested in each other.”

Panel 4: A sea foam green background with the caption, “Especially when what you want is on the outside.”

Panel 5: The hosts, Ao (ey/eir) and Ruby (she/her) (captions say to check our first comic for their labels because there are a lot of them)!are shown on a grey background. The caption next to Ao has an arrow and says, “Has feelings for a singlet.” The caption next to Ruby has an arrow and says, “Has feelings for a different singlet.”

End image description]

[augment-techs]

Hope this isn’t being rude but you don’t like Tomberly? Or rather the fans of the ship? Is it okay to ask why? Genuinely asking.

....Well, I'm gonna get eaten alive for answering this, but I'm so bored right now I also do not care. How to put this.... It's not necessarily that I find Tomberly to be an inherently bad pairing, or find that the people who have this for their OTP to be especially unpleasant in every facet of their being. No, it's more like...a very specific type of Tomberly shipper that can--and HAS--ruined my day because they cannot FATHOM these two characters, SPECIFICALLY, being in a relationship outside of each other and making it the entire rest of the fandom's problem. Like, in the 90s, I could understand it. I was in kindergarten, but it was literally one of the first ever kid show pairings that delivered a kiss and felt like they were perfect. Fine, great, awesome. But it is 2023. They are now the ONLY Rangers LIVE that have kissed, and a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of these shippers feels like that's destiny, it is written in the stars: They were Meant to Be. They Are The Best. There Will Never Be Another True Pairing. They are the LOUDEST and MOST ANNOYING about this when literally anything in media shows the characters in another, different romantic relationship (Tommy) or perfectly happy and fulfilled being on their own (Kim). And I am stuck with that one scene from the Birds of Prey/Harley Quinn movie just BLASTING in my brain every time one of these fans crosses my dash with a snide remark about Tommy/Kat in ANY narrative, or making heart eyes at Kim just standing next to Drakkon in the comics in any dimension ever:

And this is not even bringing up how they are generally dismissive of other characters outside of these two, because where one goes, the other follows. (Examples: Trini, Zack, Jason, Kat, Tanya, J.J., Hayley, Bulk and Skull--not getting into it with these two, but it is a PROBLEM--and on and on and on.) Not to mention they have a tendency to dismiss any flaws (Kim being selfish, a little manipulative, dismissive of other people's feelings, too into her looks, sometimes being too one-track minded vs Tommy's lack of any personality outside of being a Ranger, being secretive and dramatic in the early days, constantly picking fights, making everything a big deal, being a doormat, being too submissive, being jealous) as just bad writing/bad acting, instead of just... Understanding that maybe there is a POINT to this? These are the inconvenient shippers mind you. These exist in every fandom, it's just a little harder to avoid them when you're in a SMALL fandom. And I have my own biases; as a consummate multishipper I see characters are beneficial only if they can branch out into BETTER characters, with better options and plots ahead of them than just Good Girl Meets Rugged Guy, They Kick Ass, They Fall in Love, They Live Happily Ever After blah blah blah blah. Also, and I cannot stress this enough: I am almost exclusively a fan of the PR COMICS. And the comics are doing their best to make all their characters multidimensional and slightly different from what we had in the 90s. Which means I can look back at the live action MMPR series and say, "Both Kim and Tommy Were a Dumpster Fire, I Don't Think I Like Them Very Much," and happily skitter back to their current comic selves and say, "You're a dumpster fire, too. But that's okay~ You're teenagers who make mistakes and are still growing into yourselves and can make new choices. Nothing is set in stone and the multiverse exists. What are you going to do about it?" * * * tldr; I don't HATE Tomberly. I don't HATE their fans. I am a multishipper who believes in options and not dunking on any other possible relationships they might have outside of each other. I like Kat Hillard, I like Matt Cook, I like Tommy, I like Kim. These are not mutually exclusive and I am okay with anyone as long as they're not needlessly cruel to other fans and what they like. I might find Tomberly boring, but so what; I also thought every relationship in FRIENDS (outside of the basic Chandler/Monica), Beverly Hills 90210, the Superman Animated Series, and the ENTIRETY of GLEE (that wasn't roasting Rachel Berry) was boring. I don't like it, I skip it and move on. If I happen to be a little snide myself in posts about them...

[sesamie]

i would like to hear about the aubreyad 👍

okay so!!!! the aubreyad is our affectionate fandom term for the aubrey/maturin series by patrick o'brian - a 20.5-book series about the adventures of captain jack aubrey and doctor stephen maturin who are two best friends in the napoleonic wars. it's pretty critically acclaimed in terms of being like A+ historical fiction and beloved by napoleonic nerds worldwide, well-researched and well-written and all around Technically Good! i'm only on the fourth book (i took a huge break to get into house md sjdfhsdf) but it's my favorite series of all time and i hope in my life to own all 21 books (as well as every companion glossary, directory, map, and thinkpiece i can find!!) (also my goal is to own all the books with the same series of covers (the newest ones) cause they're GORGEOUS and i like them to be all the same)

so basically the story is - jack aubrey is an english navy captain (or rather, becomes one, over the course of the first two books) and another guy nearly fights him because he was being an annoying audience member during a concert and tapping his hands offtime and everything. the next day he and this other guy meet up and discover they have a lot in common (particularly the music they like to play!) and jack, after learning this guy is a physician, invites him to be his ship's surgeon on his new ship!! the physician is one stephen maturin, extremely Character Of All Time. he's a naturalist and a doctor, he's addicted to laudanum, he's so autistic, he's bisexual-coded, he knows absolutely nothing about sailing or being in the navy. he was a revolutionary and is extremely political and frequently gets into fights with jack about the nature of authority and the way he runs his ship! ALSO HE IS LITERALLY AN INTELLIGENCE SPY.

jack aubrey himself is a force of nature, he's universally beloved by almost everybody, he's tall and fat and strong and red-faced and blond and makes the most horrible puns and thinks they are so funny. they call him goldilocks, or lucky jack. he's the love of my life. way smarter than he gives himself credit for, extremely lucky, and also a dolt in the most endearing moments. jack and stephen are, for all intents and purposes, smart when apart and stupid when together. they also love eachother very very much and are best friends - pretty sure you have to be best friends to travel on foot across spain with one of you inside the skinned hide of a bear and the other pretending to be his bear-leader. in order to get away from the people to whom you owe money that you definitely can't pay.

also, in the second book, while taking some time away from war (cause they thought it was over sdjfhsdf), stephen and jack spend some time in the countryside and meet cousins sophia williams and diana villiers and they all four become friends then!! and jack ends up marrying sophie and from where i'm standing i still can't see any horizon end to diana and stephen's messiness. he tried to duel her husband. among other things.

that's kind of where i'm at at the moment - each book is technically able to be read standalone but i would never.

OH ALSO THE FILM!!!! in 2003 they released a peter weir (my fav director) film called master and commander: the far side of the world, starring russell crowe as jack and paul bettany as stephen. the film tosses together a couple elements from a few of the books but it is widely regarded as a loving if not faithful adaptation and a lot of care was put into it!!! if you're ever into film production i highly recommend looking into the making of m&c cause it's REALLY interesting. they kept the officers and crewmen in separate places so the actors would naturally develop a sense of separation. the film is also widely regarded as an example of great use of musical score and sound in film!! we watched it in my junior year film class when we were studying score. even if you don't care about the napoleonic wars or about naval battle or even about the blorboable stephen maturin i HIGHLY recommend giving it a watch - it's just a really damn well-made film, and i'm grateful that they did us such justice with the adaptation.

any more questions i'd be happy to answer :)

[sweetcloverheart]

Clover Rants Miraculously - Mirrored

Ramble under the cut

I feel like the Adrienette and Gabriemilie parallels are hurting my investment with the ships - not because “Oh everything about Adrienette now!” but because I feel the similarities kind of take away the uniqueness of both ships, particularly with Gabriemilie. Like as much as I have (and always will) clown on Gabriel for his “dead coma wife” motive, the fact that he didn’t really share any traits with Marinette outside of being into fashion was good because it make the natural parallels between the two (Planners, stubborn, need for control, has to be able to predict every possible outcome or they spiral) stand out more. Sure, that was likely on purpose, but it helped solidify Gabemoth as both an antagonist and obstacle for Marinette’s romance because even without them showing it, you could tell in the earlier seasons he’s been where she is, pinning after someone who seems out of reach for him and only loved one side of him.

But now that it’s been revealed that Gabriel too was a young rebellious creative who loved designing outside the box, and fell in love with the posh famous princess loved by all, also challenging her restrictive family and throwing away his identity so he could stand next to her in the world of the elite, just like a certain plucky pigtailed protagonist of ours. Gabriel feels less like “This is what Marinette could become if gave into her darker impulses (and y’know, experienced a personal tragedy)” now and more “Wow, Gabriel and Marinette are just so similar! Everything’s the same about them head to toe. They even have the same backstory! It’s like they’re twins or something!” and it makes all their story connections boring because Gabriemilie isn’t a story of tragic love and obsessive mourning threatening to consume everything anymore - now it’s “Future!Adrienette AU parallel #328494″ and it just sucks the fun out of learning about their history because you already know what’s coming next.

Meanwhile, Adrienette constantly getting the “Wow he’s just like me fr” treatment with them in the show really just dampens its appeal because it’s become less about the journey of two kids who seem to love the images they project to others and yet are slowly peeling back the layers of their inner and outer-selves as they try and navigate their own character growth and more “Lets see how many times we can copy and paste our main dynamic onto other couples”. The square dynamics and the idea they’d eventually coalesce into an interesting romantic paring once IDs were revealed was one of the things that drew me into Adrienette and the rest as well as seeing them develop a deeper relationship over the course of the show, and now it’s just us rushing through the couple getting together without really being given the chance to enjoy them getting together because everything else is happening either too soon or too fast while the ship is constantly compared to several others (but mostly Gabriemilie) who then turn around and go “Yeah, my relationship’s good, but not as good as Adrienette! Those two are made for each other! Unlike us, who don’t have any of the things that make Adrienette perfect!” and it’s just making me think “You guys...are pretty much the same.”