#and he understands a bit better that the prophecies he scoured over must have hurt and weighed and frightened and how

[minarcana]

Can Not stop thinking about urianger being fucked up over visions of the world ending and the wol dying for a solid Bit after getting tossed to the crystarium. im going to eat a brick.

[the-idea-master]

Dark! Thalia

So I see a lot of posts talking about the potential of Dark! Percy or Leo etc. Yet I've never really seen one on Dark! Thalia. To me she's probably one of the most likely to have reasons to go dark or turn against the gods. Let's assess her history here. *We know that growing up wasn't easy for her. Her mom was an alcoholic and a popular tv star. *Some things we can assume do to the previous information. Alcoholism often has severe mood swings as a side effect so Thalia has probably seen some pretty scary and ugly sides to her mother that the public doesn't see. For a little kid it must be pretty terrifying. *If her mom was a celebrity there had to be some pressure that went along with that. To be a good kid so her mom's image wasn't damaged. *Going back to Alcoholism it's gotta be tough as a child to slowly comprehend and realize that your mother is drinking herself to death and slowly wasting away. *Part of Thalia must have understood and come to two conclusions about this. One: Her mom wasn't necessarily able to handle the pressures of the media and despite the crap Thalia went through because of her mom she still loved her and would most likely developed a certain bitterness towards the media and most and prying people. Two: She would also realize that it would be easier on her mom if her Dad was there. She'd grow bitter towards him because to her, if he stuck around maybe none of this would have happened. *Later her father actually comes back which must seem like a miracle to her. Imagine the hope that would bubble up in her little chest. Things were going to be fixed and she and her mom could be happy. *Now imagine her finding out that he wasn't going to stick around and then finding out her mom is pregnant. Not only that but coming to the conclusion that her father, who for a split second was her hero, had now only made things worse. *Imagine Thalia being so grown up at such a young age. Imagine her trying to keep her mother from drinking because she's pregnant. Or trying to help with things like making dinner and cleaning the house. *Then Jason is born. And she's sitting there holding this small innocent child. A kid whose done nothing wrong and she reflects on all of the crap she's dealt with and decides that won't happen to him, it can't. *Thalia doing everything in her power to give him a better childhood than she had. He becomes her world. Thalia is his world and for a bit he's the source of her only happiness. Thalia would end up losing her own childhood to raise him. *Now picture this. Picture Thalia scouring around for Jason complete panic kicking in because "how could I lose him?" "This is my fault!" Only to realize that her mother is oddly calm about this. Being told that Jason was gone for good and suddenly her world just collapses. *There's no reason for her to stay anymore. Because honestly she's contemplated running away before. But she stays a bit longer because she'll feel guilty. Because her mom needs her. But she eventually can't take it anymore so she runs away. *She then meets Luke. A boy who understands everything she's going through. And for once she can be herself and do as she pleases without having to worry about anyone. She gets a bit of that childlike freedom back. *She finds Annabeth and every instinct n her being is screaming to protect her. Because Annabeth looks like Jason, she's as small and innocent as he is, and damn it "I failed Jason but I'm not failing her." *Thalia finally has a family she wants. A family she loves. Only it doesn't last. *That night on the hill she's not letting anyone touch the people she cares about because she failed once with her brother and it will not happen again. Not ever. *Imagine the fear and sadness because she knows there's no way out of this. But there's cult there too because this is her fault isn't it? She's the daughter of the king of the gods. The monsters are after her. Not them. *She dies. When she wakes its an entirely different world. *The little girl she protected for so long is now nearly her age. She missed Annabeth's childhood. She missed getting to see Annabeth grow up but now Annabeth has Percy. Annabeth doesn't need Thalia anymore and it's heartbreaking. *What's worse is then she discovers the boy who helped take care of her is evil. It doesn't make sense at first but then comes the guilt. If she'd been alive maybe this wouldn't have happened. *Not only that but her first mission and Luke tries to hurt Annabeth. But a part of her doesn't believe it. Not until she sees it. *What we have to understand is that right now at this point she's also understanding that the prophecy is about her. Not Percy. Not anymore at the moment. *The bitterness at the world inside of her had to have been so much. So strong. Later she would find out the only reason Luke wanted her to live was so he could be a part of his evil plan. *Fast forward to the moment she has to fight him on mount Tam. The real moment she realized Luke isn't the same person anymore. The pain of coming to terms with that would hurt so much. Yet she'd also realize that to an extent he's right, the gods caused it all, but she can't side with him because it isn't right. *She then becomes the lieutenant of Artemis and has to prepare for a war. *When the final battle comes around the people she cares about most are constantly on the verge of dying. What's more is that throughout this entire series Zeus does not show his appreciation for the sacrifices she's made. And when he does it's an after thought. In the titans curse one of her biggest struggles as a character is the idea of whether or not her father even cares about her. *Later she, Percy, Grover, and Annabeth are racing to the throne room. A statue of Hera falls and it's supposed to be for Annabeth but without hesitation she once again saved Annabeth. Saved the girl she promised to protect and in the process gets injured. *Everything is like an endless spiral for her. Nothing ever really looks up. Luke dies and she learns that he was himself in the final moments. *Whats worse however is that she wasn't there to see it. All she remembers is him trying to kill her. That's her last memory of him. His evilness not his kindness. *The war is over and everyone gets their happy ending but she goes back on the hunt again. *A new war comes up and she is left leading the hunters as the sort of clean up party. Trying to keep things in check while the gods lose their minds. It isn't all that fair. *A brief moment of happiness comes when she is reunited with Jason but he's so big. So grown up and just like with Annabeth she's missed him grow into a handsome young man. He won't need her that much anymore. *Without hesitating she is going to help him in his quest. Only to find out the reason all of this happened was because of Hera. Who has already taken enough. Yet Thalia's supposed to just let her baby brother go on a quest and save the world when she's just now gotten him back. A quest where he could very well die and she couldn't protect him. *Then to make things worse she has to continue playing clean up and wrangling monsters while everyone prepares for war. Only for all of her friends to go on a quest and risk death with no way to necessarily contact them. Imagine all of this boiling up. It would be so tiring. So exhausting that you can't help but wonder how she hasn't snapped yet? Percy and Leo and the others both got the love of at least one parent. She got the love of none. She raised her brother. She died for her fiends only to come back into a world she didn't know. If anyone has a right to snap it's her. Then again all of the demigods have their reasons and it's amazing they've held out so long. Anyways, I figured since no ones done one of these for Thalia I might as well. Thanks for reading,

[atamascolily]

Fanfic Excerpt: Alternate Version of Sinbad 2x21 - “The Guardians“, part 2/?

The "rewrite canon that annoys me" trend continues! AU version of the episode from Bryn's perspective. Part One is here.

I've been toying with the idea of putting these in script format, but one of the advantages of text over TV is that you can go further in depth with the characters' inner lives, which is something I particularly enjoy. So far, so good. 

Bryn isn't sure how she knew Ajeeb was the woman's child - some magical impulse or intuition she follows because she doesn't know what else to do. She kneels on the ground next to Firouz, dizzy as the adrenaline rush from the battle fades. Firouz is fumbling in his belt pouch for herbs and bandages to staunch the bleeding. Even though he knows it's futile, he still tries. Bryn admires him for that - in the aftermath of battle, she is just tired.

Doubar and Rongar are scouring the camp for any sign of raiders, and any survivors; they fade in and out of her peripheral vision. Dermott is somewhere in the air, silent, unreachable. He talks to her, not the other way around, although she could probably reach him if she really wanted to. She doesn't try.

Sinbad only has eyes for the dying woman, who is clinging to her child fiercely, as if the two will never be separated. She's speaking with Sinbad, and the words suddenly snap into focus for Bryn. "Take him to the temple in Balardi... the monks will take him in... He must go... it is prophesied..." Her words are in halting gasps and Bryn knows it isn't long before the shock of her injuries sets in. "I have a purse - take it - everything I have - yours - please, just take him to Balardi -"

Sinbad's face is grim and steady, and Bryn knows that he's angry, although his rage is not aimed at the woman whose name they do not even know. What's your name? Bryn aches to cry out, but Sinbad cuts her off before she can open her mouth, asking about the father.

"There is none," the woman says cryptically. She must mean he's dead, Bryn guesses hazily. Surely, she's not implying it was a virgin birth! But when prophesies are on the table, anything is possible, and Bryn has seen a lot of strange things since she began journeying with Sinbad. Often, Bryn is the one doing them, for reasons she doesn't and may never understand.

"We'll take him there," Sinbad whispers, "I promise." Bryn nods, knowing their course was set from the moment Dermott showed her the smoke. Of course they will. What else is left to do? It was never about the money, though that never hurts, either. Sinbad's a merchant, not a mercenary, and usually breaks even through exceptional luck and some dramatic and unorthodox accounting.

"The raiders - they'll try to kill him," the woman gasps. "You must protect him! They ambushed us - on our way to Balardi - the prophesy says Ajeeb will bring their downfall!"

Ah. It's all coming together now, how the story is woven, and where it all fits in. So the raiders will be back. Probably with reinforcements. Lots of them. She can tell by the clench of his jaw that Sinbad has the same thought.

"Ajeeb, I love you," the woman whispers. "Take care of him - for me - tell him - " and she slides backwards, the muscles in her face going slack, her breathing stops. Ajeeb, who has been quiet since Bryn returned him to his mother's arms, appears to sense something is wrong, and begins to wail.

Sinbad looks over at Bryn. "Can you carry him as we ride to Balardi?"

"Sinbad, what makes you think I know anything about babies?" She is tired, and her heart aches at the slaughter and senseless violence, and so it comes out more snappish than she intends. She does her best to soften the rebuke, not wanting to argue with him. He is the captain, after all. "I'm not sure I'm the best person to handle him, that's all."

Sinbad looks up over to the edge of the clearing, where Doubar is already hoisting bodies to build a pyre - mostly bandits, Bryn notes absently. Sinbad will probably make them make cairns for the caravan folk who were killed in the attack, even though it takes longer. He doesn't like burning the dead. One of his many quirks.

"I can probably rig up a sling," Firouz volunteers, fumbling with some bandages. "Give me a few minutes."

"I don't want him falling off, now." Sinbad is curt, but not overly so, absently looking in Doubar's direction. "Doubar, you had a lot of practice carrying me back in the day - ready to show off your skills?"

Doubar looks up from the grim clean-up work, probably grateful to have something else to focus on for a moment. "Baby-sitting is not my forte, Sinbad, but he can't be more of a handful than you were at that age." Rongar, who has been putting out the wagon fires, grins, not bothering to hide his amusement at the mental image.

"Good. You can carry him while we ride to Balardi. Firouz, rig up a sling for him or something."

"I'm not carrying a child over my shoulder like a sack of grain!" Doubar sputters. "That's not right!"

"I was thinking over the chest. Like Rongar's bandolier," Firouz mused, as his fingers shifted and twisted the fabric. "Though a sack might work, too."  

"Fine, but it had better be comfortable," Doubar grouses, going back to moving bodies. "For me AND for the little tyke. I don't want to drop him!"

"Come over here when you're done and we can test out my designs." Firouz is always eager when working on a new invention. It's one of his most endearing traits. "I don't really know much about babies, so this will be an interesting chance to make some scientific observations-- Hey, he's wearing a gold ring around his neck!"

Bryn cranes her neck to look. It's true. "Some sort of talisman," she agrees. "Very shiny. Probably part of the prophecy."

"Well, we'll probably need that when we get to Balardi," Sinbad says, standing up. "Let's clean up here and get going. Doubar, finish the pyre for the bandits. Firouz, stay with Ajeeb and figure out what we need to do to take him comfortably with us. You can make all the observations you want. Rongar, go through and see what else survived in the caravan. Maybe there's something we can use. Bryn, see to the horses, then help me build Ajeeb's mother a cairn."

"Sinbad, the bandits will come back. Do you think we have time--"

"We have time," he says, his mouth a grim line, and she knows there is no arguing with him on this. They will haul the rocks and build the cairn and they will do the decent thing, the honorable thing, the hard thing, the right thing according to Sinbad's code, and then they will go to Balardi and take Ajeeb to to the monks in accordance with his mother's dying wish. Studying Sinbad's face, Bryn wonders if the prophesy might not be self-fulfilling - the bandits may have set about their own doom now that Sinbad is involved.

She stands up, too. "All right," she says, and staggers off to go see about the horses, more tired and heartsick than she cares to admit to herself. No matter how many time she sees this script play out, it never gets any easier. That's what makes us good people, she reminds herself. Because we care. Because we don't let the pain make us jaded.

It's one reason why she stays with Sinbad. He may be cynical when it comes to his own emotions, wracked by grief he refuses to confront about a certain red-haired sorceress, but he's never become complacent about injustice, or the suffering of innocents. He never stops doing the right thing just because it's hard.

Also, she has to admit to herself, where else would she go? It's not like she has a home or family to go to. Like it or not, the crew of the Nomad is her family now.

Still, she wishes she had asked the woman's name. Because she was more than just Ajeeb's mother, more than just a victim. She was a person with her own life and story, one that they will never know. And they will never be able to tell Ajeeb any more than that his mother loved him and she died holding him in her arms, entrusting him to strangers because she had no other choice.

It's not fair. It's never fair. But she builds the cairn with Sinbad because it's the only thing they can do for her, aside from fulfilling her last request.

****

Firouz rigs up the sling for Doubar and they ride, following a map that was tucked away in the pouch Ajeeb's mother offered Sinbad as payment for their services. It helps that Ajeeb is a calm child and seems content to sleep snuggled up to Doubar, swaying in rhythmn with the horse's footsteps. Sinbad is still grim, and Bryn is still tired, but everyone else has relaxed enough to begin to banter again, even Rongar, who occasionally signs his reactions to Firouz and Doubar's running commentary about the infant. Firouz is fascinated by Ajeeb - clearly he hasn't spent much time with young children prior to this- and Doubar is smitten, even cooing on occasion. She would be more amused by the spectacle if she wasn't so exhausted.

Sinbad is clearly uncomfortable, but trying not to show it. It's not clear if it's the child that bothers him or the circumstances that led to his presence in their lives. Perhaps he is thinking about the bandits that are looking for them.  

Bryn doesn't know much about babies, either - she hasn't had any experience with them in her post-awakening life, and unlike battle, she doesn't have any innate memories to guide her. Just because she's the only woman in the crew doesn't make her an expert, no matter what some men might think.

Dermott doesn't show up until nightfall when they make camp, his talons bloody. He chirps a bit, staring at Ajeeb, but is otherwise silent. Bryn wonders what he sees, this mysterious hawk that occasionally sends words and images into her mind. Maeve's hawk.

She knows Dermott misses Maeve, as much or more as Sinbad misses Maeve, but at least Dermott is more open than Sinbad about his loss. Dermott will occasionally reach out to her, which is more than she can say about Sinbad. She doesn't know Dermott's story, either - he's more than just a bird, but no one on the crew really knows what he actually is - but Bryn knows he is magical, and she is magical, and so they have a bond, a connection, and Dermott can relate to her like no one else on the crew, except for maybe Sinbad. Sinbad is distant with Dermott, but she's seen his face when he watches Dermott wheeling in the sky, when he thinks no one is looking. She's seen the way he strokes Dermott's breast feathers sometimes, though their relationship is far from smooth, and sometimes Dermott will refuse his entreaties altogether.

Sinbad takes the first watch, and Bryn is all too happy to lie down and sleep. It's been a long day, bandits could attack at any moment, and on these sorts of missions, you never know when you'll have a chance to rest again. You sleep when you can.