#and he says you'll be surprised... and i was like ok. i bet its just ppl who are lonely. which again !! another problem entirely !! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sometimesanalice · 2 years ago

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Amelia! AMELIA! A-ME-LIA! I cannot even begin to tell you how much I LOVED THIS CHAPTER! I knew it was going to be good, but you’ve properly killed me with just how good it was! The banter, the vibes, the Dirty Dancing of it all! I am so hooked on this series! I love these characters of yours!

To the Jake girlies who haven’t read this yet, COME GET YOUR MAN! THIS IS THE ONE! (but also, to my Bradley babes, like you’ll want to read this too. I would not lead you astray! it’s a stellar series!)

(my unhinged thoughts below! warning: there are a lot of all caps)

Nora half-suspects Bradley found from searching Hawaiian shirt comma eighties disco and ordering the first option.-- I know this man is doing the minimum, and I would be willing to bet that two-day delivery promise had that shirt on his doorstep mere hours before the party started, lol

“Are you okay, Bradshaw? You’re sweating a little.” And as only a mature and newly minted 36-year-old could, Bradley ignores Nora.-- Plsss I can see his face now. She’s merciless and I love her! But also Bradley Bradshaw being a little drama queen (his one bad bruise, lol) and nervous about rollerskating is so endearing to me.

“Admiral Simpson says – and I quote. Put Miss Rogers down. She's a loan." -- THE WAY I CACKLED. “A loan” omg I cannottttttt

Bradley barks out a laugh, apparently not very intimidated. Should Nora be offended? He should be like... a little afraid, at least.-- I really am so obsessed with their history. They’ve got such a great dynamic, like can’t I root for both?

She peers down at her own skates and sees only a bright cherry red. Damn. She would've loved a bubblegum pink in this dress. -- girl same, its Barbiecore 2023!

"You'll be fine. Balance is the hardest part. We can even hold hands."

She wiggles her fingers in his direction, teasing, gleaming an iridescent pink that matches her dress. -- not me looking and admiring my verrrry chipped iridescent pink nails at this part. maybe i’ll repaint them the same color because I want to live in this chapter and these vibes.

Maybe if Bradley falls, Nora can get a good shot on her phone. She'll frame it. A memento for the birthday boy.-- she’s ruthless. i love her.

"Is it like, part of the admission requirement for Top Gun? Like America's Next Top Model, except instead of Tyra Banks, Admiral Simpson is there."...Congratulations. You’re still in the running to be America’s Next Top Gun graduate.-- the mental image of this is everythingggg

Robbie frowns a little.-- the fact that Nora thinks of him as “Robbie” sometimes makes me giddddyyyy

She tips her head back and sees an upside down – and very amused – Jake.-- 🥰

Jake drawls, "No. You're always a little mean," and makes it sound like a compliment. Warmth slips down her spine, and Nora swallows hard.-- I AM A PROUD SUPPORTER OF THE JAKE LOVES MEAN GIRLS AGENDA

Can you? Nora doesn't need to repeat the question from the kitchen – over a week ago now – for Jake to hear it in her voice. Can you keep up with me?--AHHHHHHHHH!

"We only just met, Nora, but I think I might be in love with you." She grins. "Hm. That's too bad."-- tbh big same

Everyone is a little more drunk and a little less self-conscious in the silver gleam of the disco ball, spinning and shining like a glittering moon. -- ok but I would sell a kidney to be at this party!

And in the rink, Nora is pleasantly surprised to find that the limited rollerskating abilities – emphasis on limited – Teen Nora used over a decade ago now have been dormant somewhere in the back of her mind. Not lost in the endless spiral of time. -- ugh i loved this!

"And who would stand here and admire that sparkly little dress of yours then, darlin'? You should wear that on Monday." Nora gives him the finger, and Jake laughs. -- I will never get over their chemistry and the banter. I’m kicking my feet they’re so cute.

Eventually, Bradley joins the rest of them. He picks it up quickly, just like Nora predicted. He only rams into the side of the rink once and like, barely. -- since she doesn’t want him, I’ll take this uncoordinated drama queen of a man

She was never so much great as Nora was unafraid. Not afraid to, as Mom often said, fail with her whole heart. Take the leap.-- 🥺

Javy asks, "Ever been more than friends?"...Cool as ice, Nora asks, "Maybe. Maybe not. Who's asking?" and arches her eyebrows. She'd really like to ask, Who told you?-- I’m dying for this tea too. I parched for more of them. I’m here for her and Jake, but if you didn’t want me to ship Nora with literally everyone, why did you have to make her so damn cool? (how she teases bob, how her and natasha could go to all the documentaries together, how much chaos could her and cause. i’d be here for all of it like the marvel universe of nora and the dagger squad, lol)

She remembers what Jake had said almost a week ago, "You like that I can keep up with you," and goddamn, maybe Nora does. Fuck. -- AHHHHH! I love it too!

Crumpled like a punctured balloon animal, Natasha lets out a hyena laugh, loud enough to draw the attention of the Naval aviators who were lucky enough not to witness the absolutely catastrophic failure of a Dirty Dancing lift. -- PLLSSSSSS THE CHAOS OF THEM I LOVE! This was so fucking funny 😂

Wait, Nora is directly below the disco ball, which was already spinning before. False alarm. She’s not horribly concussed. Everyone can calm down now.-- i live for her internal monologue!

"We are not fish. We are ladies," Natasha pipes up, sounding indignant. "Some of us are anyway." A bright smile lights up her face as Javy and Bob come into frame. "Coyote! Bob! Did you see our lift?" "I saw it, and I wish I hadn't," Javy says dryly.-- just the dynamics and the banter between them all! it’s one of my favorite things about this series!

“You’re sparkling.” “You’re bleeding.”-- I was obsessed when you sent me that teaser of this, and I’m still not over this exchange!! I just love how unfiltered she is. And I just know that he made the conscious decision to remain the responsible one that evening! He was definitely watching as she got tipsier and tipsier, and was keeping an eye on her the whole time. Protective!Jake has my heart here!

She wipes at her eyes again, stinging with more tears, now that Nora has remembered the pain.“Oh, I think I'm fine though. I'm tough. I'll get back out there." -- my best drunken girl, I bet Jake was SO SOFT for her here! And he was probably dying from holding back because I know that man would have bundled her up if he could have.

Only after Jake leaves does Nora comprehend the words. “Be right back, sweetheart.”-- I GOT GOOSEBUMPS WHEN I READ THIS!!! And i got a little emotional too, like its so so sweet. He wants to be with her SO BAD IT HURTS!

And a silver dress sparkled in the blue darkness, gleaming in a shimmering puddle on the leather back seat of a faded blue Bronco as a shirtless Bradley Bradshaw leaned over the bench seat and popped open the glove compartment for a condom. -- AHHHH AMELIA I NEED THIS I BEG OF YOU TO WRITE THAT ONE SHOT. You want a kidney or a liver? it’s yours!!

"I don't know, okay? Everyone here is a nosey son of a bitch who can't mind their own business," Bradley said. "Even Phoenix has asked me once or twice. Someone probably has money riding on it or something. Not a big deal."-- silly boy, it is a big deal to her!! oh she’s concerned about how Jake is react if he ever learned about it! I love how we get a softer side of her in her tipsy state, she’s got some tender spots that I can’t wait to learn more about. But with her feelings for Jake that she still doesn’t know what to do with, she doesn’t want him to stop liking her, which is why she is so concerned about what everyone is thinking in regards to her and bradley.

He smiles faintly at the pink socks, the little embroidered heart on the ankles, and Nora swears Jake brushes a gentle thumb across the pattern.-- I CAN’T

Instead, Nora throws away the shovel and starts digging the hole with her hands. -- I LOVED THIS LINE SO MUCH!! Drunk her is greedy for more moments with him. She wants to get REAL with him! OOF

“Well, I guess I just said I might've met a beautiful and smart and clever as hell woman, who's basically my dream girl." ..."My argumentative dream girl." She swallows against a suddenly dry mouth. "Just that, huh?""Just that." His expression is warm. "She doesn't like me though, right, sweetheart? Not even kind of?" -- ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME??!! “JUST THAT” I AM SPIRALING I AM UNWELL THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE IS MAKING ME SO SOFT I LOVE THEM

She realizes that on his knees like that, Jake could slide over half an inch and be between her parted legs. He could lean right in and...-- THE TENSION MY GOD NORA GO GET YOUR MAN FFS

She could actually cry. She munches on the burning hot fries and drinks the water instead and sobers enough to push down the urge to lean on Jake's broad shoulder. -- ok but I loved this full circle moment because she wanted those fries more than she wanted the greasy cheese pizza. and I love that jake unintentionally got her exactly what she wanted without knowing, and that they shared them together in this little bubble of theirs! BUT I’M YELLING YES MA’AM REST YOUR HEAD ON HIS BROAD SHOULDER YOU’LL FIT THERE PERFECTLY UNDER THE SHIMMERY LIGHTS OF THE ROLLER DISCO

She flexes her knee like a brand new Barbie doll with a proud grin. He watches her with a fond expression that softens every part of his face. -- just me weeping, I love the concept of being fond for another person. 😭

"Now," Jake drawls. "We have enough time for a few more trips around the rink. Want to get back out there?" He holds out a hand, and Nora slips her hand in his. She doesn’t let go in the rink, and Jake doesn’t either. -- HE HASN’T SKATED THIS WHOLE TIME BUT NOW HE WILL WITH HERRRRR AND THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS AND I AM LOSING MY MIND

She can't be trusted around him, not with the alcohol and the adrenaline coursing through her bloodstream, making her feel unbalanced. Instead, Nora digs her own grave. She holds the door open, and Jake comes in with a smirk, smug and knowing.-- !!!!!!!!!!!

He doesn’t kiss her on the lips, not yet, and Nora wonders if Jake wants to make her beg him. She’s never begged for anything in her damn life. She might let him.-- SCREAMINGGGGGGGGGG! THIS IS HOT! But also I just know he’s going to give her everything she wants (she just will have to work for it a littttle bit)

"Come on, sweetheart," Jake murmurs on a low breath that fans right across her exposed core. She whimpers. "We’re just gettin’ started. Be good for me." --AHHHHHDFJAHDOFHAOPFHNAODHFOADHFOADNVA!! He has the dirtiest mouth and I know he is a talker and and and!

It was a dream. She's alone. --- I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

Nora sighs out an emphatic "Fuck" in the darkness and lets her hand drift under the covers. She comes with a hand over her mouth, a familiar name on her tongue. -- I SIMPLY CANNOTTTTTT MA’AM I AM BEGGING HE IS PUTTY FOR YOU GO GET YOUR MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

The absolute adrenaline rush this chapter gave me! Like I’m about to go sign up for a marathon or an iron man. The energizer bunny can retire, this chapter is the only fuel I want. It was everything I hoped it would be and MORE!

baby, i'm high octane (iv)

synopsis: at bradley bradshaw's birthday party, nora has a realization under the disco ball.

pairings: jake seresin x nora rogers (oc)

warnings: 18+, minors dni, explicit language, alcohol consumption, pop culture references, slutty (affectionate) rooster, brief mention of blood, and smut. (wc: 6.8K)

note: at long last, the rollerskating chapter 🪩✨ and icymi, i posted another mood board for this chapter 💖

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tagging // @theharddeck (who talked me off a ledge about this chapter; i snuck a california coast reference in here for you, dear) @frenchyjuju @bioodforbiood @cursedtobe @roosterbruiser @t-nd-rfoot @bethbunnyy @filmflux @djs8891 @mayhemmanaged @sometimesanalice @eli2447 @bradshawsbitch @hangmanbrainrot @startrekfangirl2233 @kandierteveilchen @lostinwonderland314 @hangmanscoming @dempy @mlibbydp

“Mav actually said I’m not supposed to do anything high-risk after I had that bird strike scare so…”

And with that, Bradley crosses his big arms – dusted with new freckles and sun from his afternoon on the boat with Captain Mitchell and Penny Benjamin – over a barely buttoned shirt; something Nora half-suspects Bradley found from searching Hawaiian shirt comma eighties disco and ordering the first option.

What Bradley ended up with is a black shirt, covered in bright geometrics, squares and squiggles and martini glasses in neon shades of violet, cyan, and pinkish magenta.

As close to a Hawaiian shirt as the Naval aviator could wear and still be on theme and funnily, eerily identical to the carpet at the long-since-closed bowling alley where Mom booked one of Nora’s elementary school birthday parties.

He could probably lie down and blend right in.

Minus the martinis, obviously.

Bradley uncrosses his arms. Crosses them again.

And Nora watches him, absentmindedly, blinking at this indifferent nonchalance that Bradley is putting on. So unbothered. So casual. Real believable.

“Are you okay, Bradshaw? You’re sweating a little.”

And as only a mature and newly minted 36-year-old could, Bradley ignores Nora.

Smiling, Nora slurps down the rest of a frozen strawberry lemonade, spiked with vodka. Cheap vodka. She pulls a face at the well of might-as-well-be-rubbing-alcohol at the bottom, rapidly blinking and deep breathing through the sharp sting in her nostrils.

She will not let some bottom-shelf vodka ruin her eye shadow, not now, not in her favorite dress.

A delicate cough spurts from her mouth. She wouldn't be surprised to see a puff of fumes come out.

“That was like…” Mickey sounds confused. “Four months ago, Rooster.”

“And?”

Bradley uncrosses his arms and spreads them wide, palms upturned – an incredulous gesture as bird-like as his call sign. His winged arms drop back down in a whoosh of wind.

“I almost crashed into the side of a mountain and had to do an emergency ejection. Medical kept me overnight for observation. It was pretty serious, Garcia.”

Bradley drags out the vowel and clips the constants in the word pretty for even more emphasis, and in her peripheral, Natasha pinches the bridge of her nose and screws her eyes closed.

Drama drama.

Reuben exchanges a bewildered look with the WSO and shakes his head. Deadpans, “You had one bruise, man. Singular.”

“Nurse Julie said I had a hematoma,” Bradley retorts, like, so there!

Someone audibly groans. It might be Reuben.

“Fine. You had one bad bruise. Happy?”

Bradley makes a face – a distinctly, not happy face – and crosses his arms again.

“And when did you graduate from medical school, Doctor Fitch? My invitation must’ve gotten lost in the mail.”

“I’m dating a nurse! A hematoma is a bad bruise.”

From Natasha's side of the bench comes a prolonged sigh, a good four-second exhale.

“Moving on…" Natasha continues, "Rollerskating definitely doesn’t fall under what Maverick would consider high risk.” Air quotes are audible in her voice. She waves the roller skate around, abandoned when Bradley put them down. "Children were out there like... 10 minutes ago. Children, Bradshaw!"

A valid point.

Before Moonlight Rollers made the loudspeaker announcement (“Anyone who isn’t of legal drinking age should turn in their skates and head to the nearest exit in the next 15 minutes. Saturday Night Fever is now in session.”), Nora sat down with her skates and lacing them, counted at least six skaters who were younger than the bourbon Penny Benjamin serves at the Hard Deck.

Children – as Natasha very much emphasized – who cut across the rink with the unselfconscious effort and fearlessness of a child who'd never broken a bone before and honestly, wouldn’t mind a super cool cast for their summer camp friends to sign on Monday.

As if reading her mind, Bradley’s next argument is: “Someone could fall or sprain their ankle or fall and sprain their ankle. How’re you planning to fly with a broken wing, Phoenix?”

As Natasha studies him, unreadable, Nora decides to wade in.

She can't listen anymore. She's aged five months in the past five minutes.

“Bradshaw – You’re the one who wanted to do an activity for your birthday party, remember?”

Clearly, Bradley needed the reminder. He was the one who specifically wanted an activity with alcohol and some sort of theme, and Nora found Moonlight Rollers on Instagram.

On Thursday, which was his actual birthday, Nora brought him an Americano (no milk, no sugar, steaming hot) and a breakfast sandwich (a bacon, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel, extra toasted) in the morning and as a present of sorts, secretly asked Technician Ethan to install the camera in his F-18 for the afternoon.

He was ecstatic, so ecstatic that Bradley picked her up and spun her around, like a rag doll in cool shoes, until Captain Mitchell crackled over the radio, sounding equal parts amused and long-suffering.

“Admiral Simpson says – and I quote. Put Miss Rogers down. She's a loan." Captain Mitchell then added, "And from me, I won't protect you or your wings from Charlie Blackwood if Nora somehow falls. Put her down please."

Bradley set her down with a grimace.

Now, Nora continues, “We could’ve done drinks at the Hard Deck again and called it a night. I could be one and a half Old Fashioned's down right now, watching Netflix in my underwear," and Bradley grins, wolfish.

He waggles his brows, impish and obnoxious, and Nora knows what Bradley is picturing right now. Anyone would be able to see it all over his face.

For a 36-year-old man, Bradley can really be a 16-year-old boy sometimes.

She sends him a blank I will kill you in your sleep stare and mimes a slow slash across her own throat, shaking her head from side to side, and Bradley barks out a laugh, apparently not very intimidated.

Should Nora be offended?

He should be like... a little afraid, at least.

Natasha stares him down, and now, Bradley does look a little afraid.

Dark eyes narrowed, sharp against the glittering lavender Natasha lined them with earlier; Natasha is a stunning lavender monochrome, dressed in a ribbed tank and short sweat shorts, even down to the light purple wheels on her skates.

How did Natasha manage that? Nora wonders. She peers down at her own skates and sees only a bright cherry red. Damn. She would've loved a bubblegum pink in this dress.

If Nora has learned anything in the past month, Natasha seems to get her way one way or another. Now is no exception.

Nora smiles. Watch out, Bradshaw!

Natasha rounds her lips to an O shape, smooth voice sweetening into something more saccharine; more patronizing. "Oh... You're scared, aren't you, Rooster? Why didn't you say earlier?"

Are Bradley's ears turning a little red?

"Really? You can pilot a million-dollar plane for a living but can't handle a little..." A polished nail spins one of the wheels. Mocking. "...sneaker with wheels on the bottom?"

And like that, Natasha has him.

Hook, line, and sinker.

She's barely gotten the words out when Bradley yanks the skates from her outstretched hands with a grumbled, "Fuck off, Phoenix. I'm not scared. I just remembered I don't know how to roller skate. Goddamn," and drops right down on the carpet to strap them on, swearing up a storm under his breath.

Ever optimistic, Mickey calls out, "It'll be fun, man," and Bradley grumbles something unintelligible.

Natasha doesn't even pretend not to look victorious. She beams.

Nora, on the other hand, is a little more sympathetic. A little.

He is a big man. Tall and broad with a long distance to fall in a wobble. She'd probably be a little nervous too.

Everyone is drinking. Someone is all but guaranteed to fall on their ass before the end of the night. Who? is the only question that remains.

“I can show you the basics,” Nora offers, watching him fumble with the shoelaces, double and triple knotting them around his ankles. “You can surf, right?" A grumbled sound that Nora will interpret as a yes. "You'll be fine. Balance is the hardest part. We can even hold hands."

She wiggles her fingers in his direction, teasing, gleaming an iridescent pink that matches her dress.

He snorts. “Hot. Promise?”

Never mind. She's less sympathetic now.

Nora kicks out a leg and lightly catches him in the side of the knee, scuffing the dark blue denim, and Bradley scoots away with a surprised exclamation.

She rolls her eyes.

Maybe if Bradley falls, Nora can get a good shot on her phone.

She'll frame it. A memento for the birthday boy.

"Natasha, do you know when Coyote will be here? I still need to meet him."

Last Nora had heard, Javy 'Coyote' Machado had gotten back from the deployment in the middle of the week. He drove down late last night and crashed on Jake's couch. Got coffee with Captain Mitchell in the morning to discuss when Coyote could move down to North Island. It is still a vague – albeit promising – soon, but Natasha seems to think Coyote will be permanently moved before the beginning of August.

Natasha slides her phone from the front of the fanny pack slung around her waist – silver with prismatic purple, pink, and blue hues, same as the one Nora is wearing over her shoulder like a Miss America sash – and checks her appearance in the front camera.

Holding the phone like a compact, Natasha applies a fresh coat of shiny lip gloss and smushes her lips together to spread it around. Replies, slightly muffled, "He and Hangman got in an Uber like 20 minutes ago. They should be..." A bicycle bell notification chimes from her phone. "Speak of the devils!"

Natasha searches the rink, sipping from a Blue Moon bottle on the bench. Smiles widely.

She points with the sweating bottle, seemingly oblivious to the line of condensation that drips down her forearm and onto the carpet.

"He's right over there, next to Hangman."

Nora looks across the room, dancing over the multi-colored lights and foil streamers, gleaming and rustling in the warm evening breeze that sneaks in through the opening and closing of the main entrance – and lands on Jake.

He leans against the black-and-white checkered Skate Rental counter in a familiar stance, arms crossed lazily over his chest in a way that makes his muscles really shine. He probably does it on purpose.

Don't look at his arms, Rogers.

Coughing once, Nora remembers what Natasha said about Coyote and re-directs her gaze over one. Jesus Christ.

Even from across the room, Javy ‘Coyote’ Machado is… extremely good-looking. Model, good-looking.

“Are all Naval aviators hot?” Nora accidentally asks out loud, already a little buzzed somehow. Damn vodka.

A grumbling stomach makes her wistfully remember the cold pizza in the fridge that she definitely meant to reheat for dinner before Natasha called and said the Uber would be there in less than two minutes. Damn.

She hopes Moonlight Rollers has more options for food than the six options for alcohol at the concession stand. She would kill for a greasy slice of cheese pizza or even better, some crinkle cut fries that'd probably be inexplicably soggy but still taste good.

"Is it like, part of the admission requirement for Top Gun? Like America's Next Top Model, except instead of Tyra Banks, Admiral Simpson is there."

Nora imagines a stone-faced Admiral Simpson – who’d never so much as cracked a smile in her presence before – walking down an aircraft carrier, a collection of files under his stern arm.

Congratulations. You’re still in the running to be America’s Next Top Gun graduate.

Natasha bursts out laughing. "You should've seen my Top Gun class. You wouldn't ask that question."

She is still chuckling when Bob walks over a few minutes later, sipping a blue raspberry slushie from the concession stand with a cerulean tongue.

"Got us a locker," Bob announces, pointing to the wall of lockers in the corner of the room. "Anyone have anything that needs to go in right now? I can put 'em away while I have it open."

Mickey and Reuben dig around in the turquoise pockets of their matching nylon tracksuits – which must have been a buy one, get one deal – and produce loose change, apartment keys, and the like. They hand them over.

When Bob comes over, Nora gently pats her pack and shakes her head. She's got all the essentials in there. She's all set.

Something is different about Bob tonight.

As Bob quietly repeats the locker combination under his breath, a row of concentrated wrinkles on his forehead, Nora stares at him for a probably uncomfortable amount of time.

Pink dusts across his cheeks under her observation, and Bob shuffles his weight around. He looks startled when Nora snaps her fingers in an aha! moment.

“You aren't wearing your glasses, Bob," Nora says, almost accusing. "Have I ever seen you without your glasses?"

“Probably not,” Mickey ribs with a good-natured grin. “He practically sleeps in them.”

Looking like a Hairspray character, Bob is dressed in a plain white shirt with suspenders. A single curl hangs loose in his face, fighting against the iron hold of what look to be a good amount of hair gel. He blows it out of his wide blue eyes with a sheepish smile.

"Guess not. I need to put in lots of eye drops when I wear contacts – sensitive eyes and everything – so I don’t wear them all that much,” Bob explains, looking much more comfortable now that Nora isn't staring at him quite so intently. A self-conscious sip. "But I'd much rather run to the locker every half hour to put in eye drops than break my glasses and need to get new ones."

It's like Bradley Bradshaw was waiting for that very moment.

On his knees, Bradley butts in, "Did you hear that? Even Floyd is afraid to fall on his ass and break something. Are you gonna make fun of him too, Trace?"

Robbie frowns a little. “I don’t know if I’d say I’m – ”

“High. Risk. Activity.”

Nora laughs out, "Go away, Bradshaw," and gently shoves him backwards.

He shouldn't have budged, but Nora must catch him in an uneven moment.

Bradley reels back, arms flailing like a wild goose, catching himself on a spread palm. His expression is comically dark and promises retribution, and Nora puts in a concerted effort not to laugh.

A giggle escapes, and Nora's eyes grow wide.

"Wait, I'm – Bradley!"

"Say your prayers, Rogers!"

For the second time in 72 hours, Bradley grabs her around the middle, and Nora is in the air.

At least Nora decided to wear bike shorts to make the short dress – usually reserved for parties and cocktail bars – more wearable. He'd be a dead man otherwise. He might still be a dead man.

Because Bradley is barely skilled enough to balance his own weight on the skates.

His proud smirk quickly falls as Bradley stands and starts to zig zag on the carpet. His skates go out from under him.

He goes down like a collapsed Jenga stack, and Nora is falling.

Strong arms catch her under the armpits and pull her out of the splash zone of Bradley Bradshaw's flailing arms, and still unbalanced, Nora wobbles and stumbles back against a firm chest with a sharp inhale.

Mint and cologne.

She tips her head back and sees an upside down – and very amused – Jake.

"Hi," Nora says, a little winded. She spies the black Stetson, perched on his head. “You really are such a damn cowboy, aren’t you, Texas? What’re you even supposed to be? Butch Cassidy and the 80's Dance Kid?"

She feels more than sees him chuckle, a low vibration against her back that sends a warm shiver down her spine.

Jake releases her arms, but a careful hand hovers around her lower back until Nora has her sea legs again.

She smooths down the dress down, running her hands over the glimmering pink sequins, and in the background, Reuben and Mickey rescue a dazed Bradley, who is flat on his back on the outer space patterned carpet.

"Howdy," Jake drawls with an ever present smirk. "Good guess, sweetheart, but I'm Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. Don't you know your Hollywood movies, Hollywood?"

From here, Nora is close enough to smell the spearmint gum in his mouth. She can see the pale blue flash between white teeth. He smells incredible. Damn damn damn.

Casually, Nora does her best not to breathe in.

"Patrick Swayze doesn't wear a cowboy hat in Dirty Dancing." Jake is rocking the black-on-black look. She'll give him that. "Did you watch a porno with the same name?"

Someone laughs, full-bodied and delighted.

“Aren’t you gonna introduce me, Hangman?”

Nora smiles, and Javy Machado smiles back.

"You must be Javy. I'm..."

"You're Nora," Coyote cuts in, smooth and polite as can be, despite the interruption. He shakes her hand with a blinding smile. "Maverick gave me the whole run-down on the documentary when I saw him earlier. If I was any more envious of the bastards who get to be in it, I think I'd be green. Really."

"Well," Nora replies with a cool smile. "I bet I can sneak you in. I could probably delete all of Jake's footage and make it look like an unfortunate accident. How would you feel about pretending your call sign is Hangman?"

Javy guffaws, but Nora looks sidelong at Jake with a smirk.

Jake's chuckle is a pleasant and rasping sound. "You're a little mean today, Hollywood."

"More than usual?"

Jake drawls, "No. You're always a little mean," and makes it sound like a compliment. Warmth slips down her spine, and Nora swallows hard.

"You tired yet? Need to lay down?"

Can you? Nora doesn't need to repeat the question from the kitchen – over a week ago now – for Jake to hear it in her voice. Can you keep up with me?

His smirk deepens. "I'm wide awake, Hollywood."

Javy watches them like a ping-pong match, looking absolutely delighted. "We only just met, Nora, but I think I might be in love with you."

She grins. "Hm. That's too bad."

And as Natasha grabs her arm and pulls her into the roller rink, glimmering in the dark, Nora misses when Jake knocks an elbow back and catches Coyote in the ribs.

A crescent moon rises outside on the pitch black horizon, and inside, Moonlight Rollers glows in the dark.

Everyone is a little more drunk and a little less self-conscious in the silver gleam of the disco ball, spinning and shining like a glittering moon.

Rollerskating is a little like riding a bike in that way.

She wobbles for the first few minutes and sticks close to the sides of the rink, just in case, and then, slowly finds the balance. Finds the rhythm.

Soon enough, Nora is coasting.

Natasha and Bob are her partners in crime for a while.

She skates alongside them, casting sidelong glances at where Jake and Javy are on the sidelines, catching up and nursing the beers that can't come into the rink with them. Alcohol isn't allowed in.

"Come in," Nora calls on her umpteenth rotation. "Water's nice."

Javy opens his mouth, already grinning, but Jake shouts over the music, "And who would stand here and admire that sparkly little dress of yours then, darlin'? You should wear that on Monday."

Nora gives him the finger, and Jake laughs.

Eventually, Bradley joins the rest of them. He picks it up quickly, just like Nora predicted. He only rams into the side of the rink once and like, barely.

He spins her around the rink until she is breathless with laughter and seeing spots of light behind her closed lids.

"Stop," Nora gasps, "I need a breather."

Citing a need for another fucking drink, Bradley follows her out of the rink and heads for the concession stand, winking at a woman in a Maid of Honor sash.

Nora sits down on the nearest bench, pressing down on the stitch in her side, and soaks in the atmosphere.

According to their Instagram, Moonlight Rollers had been in business since 1986. It looks the part. It'd be a dream of a movie set.

Nora can see it now.

A romance, bathed in the changing lights of the disco ball, pink and purple and blue. Soft.

Exactly the kind of movie Nora wanted to make once upon a time.

Take Me Home Tonight blares over the speakers, and Natasha's laugh rises over the music as Bob launches her across the rink, shimmering like a purple shooting star across the night sky of mismatched walls and lights.

Nostalgia is a dull ache in her chest.

Growing up, Nora used to strap on an old pair of roller skates from the garage – passed down from Mom, who loved an old school roller rink – and spend hours down near the Santa Monica pier.

So many summer nights were spent in the warm ocean breeze, breathing in the salt air, stretching her arms out to reach for the pinprick stars, as the Pacific Park neon blurred in the distance.

She was never so much great as Nora was unafraid.

Not afraid to, as Mom often said, fail with her whole heart. Take the leap.

Some late night, Nora skinned both elbows and both knees on an uneven sidewalk. Tears still burned in her eyes as Nora slapped on some ointment and a few oversized bandages outside the nearest CVS and got right back out there.

She still had dried blood on her forearms and calves when she got home. Gave Mom a damn good scare.

Sixteen is another world, and Nora isn’t quite as fearless anymore.

Reminiscing, Nora almost doesn't notice Javy is still at the side of the rink, drinking a nearly empty Blue Moon. She doesn't see Jake anymore.

Javy nods in greeting, and Nora waves.

Everything Nora knows about Lieutenant Javy Machado has come secondhand from the Daggers and Captain Mitchell. He is obviously a skilled pilot. He wouldn't have been recalled to Top Gun in October otherwise.

Natasha knows him from OCS in Newport and flew with him on several deployments. She calls him a good guy.

And Javy is the only person Nora's ever heard Jake outright call a friend. She knows Jake is friends with the Daggers, but Javy is his best friend.

"Did you lose your wingman?" Nora asks when Javy is close enough to hear the question over the music. "Where did Jake run off to and leave you all alone?"

Smiling, Javy shrugs, a movement that's oceanic on someone as broad-shouldered as him.

"He's on the phone."

She looks over her shoulder and sees the Emergency Exit door is propped open with a brick. She can just make out a sliver of the night and Jake. His expression is soft.

"It's Sarah, I think," Javy answers the question before Nora can ask. "His older sister."

"Jake has a sister?"

"Two. Sarah and Bethany."

Nora absorbs that information with an absent-minded nod. "You've met them then?"

He passes the beer bottle from one hand to the other with a nod. "I even spent Christmas with them one year. We were stationed in Fallon – in Nevada, I mean – and I'm from Louisiana. Neither of us had enough leave to go all the way home."

"So Mrs. Seresin and Sarah and Beth..." His voice softens on Bethany's name, and Nora wonders. "... met us in the middle. We spent Christmas at a Holiday Inn in Phoenix, Arizona."

Fondness shines in his whiskey brown eyes, and Nora can't help her own smile in response.

Something nudges in the back of her brain, and Nora pulls on it like a loose thread. She remembers how Jake had stiffened at the nepotism comment in Natasha's kitchen.

Carefully, Nora asks, "Not Mr. Seresin?"

Javy gives her a long, searching look that feels far too appraising for comfort; that feels like Nora is the only one in the room who doesn't get a joke.

After a moment, Javy says, "No." Short. Opaque.

Right then.

"So," Nora starts, but Javy cuts her off with an expectant smile.

“Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Nora replies slowly, "but I might not answer."

He seems to get a kick out of that.

"You know, I get it now. I really do," Javy muses with a low laugh. And before Nora can ask him to explain, the Naval aviator distracts her with, "You and Rooster. You seem... close."

Something about the way Javy says close seems weighted, but Nora is too surprised to give it much attention.

"Oh. Well, Bradley and I knew each other before. His mom, Carole was friends with my Aunt Charlie before..."

Before Carole died.

Before Nora lost a mom too.

"Bradley and I are kind of family friends, I guess. Was that a question?"

He smiles again. Nods again, like Fair enough.

Javy asks, "Ever been more than friends?" and watches her closely for a reaction.

But Nora had looked up to Charlie Blackwood her whole childhood. A woman who'd never once broken a sweat. She learned from the best.

Cool as ice, Nora asks, "Maybe. Maybe not. Who's asking?" and arches her eyebrows. She'd really like to ask, Who told you?

For his part, Javy looks a little admonished, so Nora softens the expression. She's not uncomfortable. She doesn't want to make him uncomfortable.

He's not as similar to Jake as Nora initially suspected. Jake, who would've grinned wider and pushed more, not stood down until the end.

Maybe Nora kind of likes that about Jake.

She remembers what Jake had said almost a week ago, "You like that I can keep up with you," and goddamn, maybe Nora does. Fuck.

Distracted, Nora only catches the end of what Javy is saying.

"...and Jake is my best friend, so I had to ask."

Confusion wrinkles her brow. "Bradley and I are friends."

"Just friends?"

"Just friends," Nora repeats, firm. "But Jake and I aren't..."

Evidently satisfied, Javy's smile is back in full force.

"Right. Of course not."

And Javy only sounds slightly knowing.

"I'm gonna grab another drink. You want anything?"

Nora shakes her head. "No, I'll get my own in a few."

He strolls away with one last smile, whistling along to Everybody Wants to Rule the World, and Nora is left alone on the bench, staring into space.

Over her shoulder, Nora sees Jake again.

Pink light shines across the rink now, and Jake laughs on the phone, golden in the rose blush of the disco ball. She can almost hear the depth of sound; can almost feel the vibration behind her ribcage.

Fuck. When did that happen?

Nora faces forward, blowing out a long breath, and heads for the concession stand. She needs five minutes with Bradley Bradshaw – and a goddamn drink.

Anyone who works in a place like Moonlight Rollers has probably heard their fair share of famous last words.

One final misguided question or daring declaration that precedes a dislocated elbow and a late night drive to the nearest emergency room.

Like, “Crouch down, I can definitely jump over you.”

Or, "Oh my god. Let's do the lift," when the Dirty Dancing soundtrack comes on after midnight.

“Holy shit, Nora!”

“Are you alright, Phoenix?”

Did Nora even leave the ground? She can’t remember.

She is definitely on the ground now.

Fuck. Everything is spinning a little bit.

Wait, Nora is directly below the disco ball, which was already spinning before. False alarm. She’s not horribly concussed. Everyone can calm down now.

“Holy damn,” Natasha gasps out, wiping at her eyes. "That must’ve been the worst Dirty Dancing lift in the history of Dirty Dancing lifts. We should be ashamed of ourselves.”

"We absolutely should." Nora winces. "Fuck. I think I broke my sunglasses."

She pulls out the pink sunglasses that were once shaped like hearts and are now little more than shrapnel. Damn. She liked those.

Natasha wiggles on her side like a beached mermaid, wrenching her neck back. “Think I ripped my shorts. Can you see my ass right now?”

Nora lets out the giggliest giggle that’s ever been giggled.

“No, I can't see your ass."

“Shame. I’m wearing really good underwear, and I wanted at least one hot woman to see them tonight.”

Nora clutches her stomach, laughing, and Natasha spills back into a high-pitched shriek of laughter. Tears spill down their cheeks.

Mickey pulls away from an intense lip-lock on the sidelines to reach them. He is the first one, sinking down on his knees.

"Are you guys okay?"

Nora drops an arm over her face and gives him a weak thumbs-up from the floor, and Natasha hiccups.

"Here. Take my hand!"

She does, but Nora has a lot of liquid in her stomach right now, sloshing and splashing. She is having a hard time engaging her core.

Mickey pulls, and Nora only slides.

Her dress is probably around her stomach right now. God bless bike shorts.

"Would you...?" Mickey lets out an exasperated sigh that makes Natasha pout.

"Don't get mad, Fanboy!"

"I'm not mad," Mickey insists. He looks around and focuses on a spot Nora can't see. She tries and only succeeds in painfully pulling her hair. "Can you help me out here, guys? They’re so drunk. It’s like deadlifting a fish."

"I saw it, and I wish I hadn't," Javy says dryly. He has her off the ground and on her feet in a single move, guiding her arm around his shoulder as Bob grabs the other one. "How about some water? Hangman..."

"Go ahead. I'm good."

As the slurred sound of Natasha’s giggles fade under the swelling finale of (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life, Nora briefly closes her eyes. She opens them again, and Jake is standing over her wilting form.

He glows against in the light from the disco ball, a golden gleam in the silver incandescence. Twinkling.

“Hi Jake,” Nora says softly, poking at a sore spot on her bottom lip with her tongue. She must’ve bitten it in the fall. She doesn’t remember that either.

“Hi Nora.”

“You’re sparkling.”

“You’re bleeding.”

Confused, Nora frowns.

Dull pain radiates from her left knee, and Nora spots a red and angry scrape across the skin, pulsing and throbbing with a forming bruise. She wipes at her eyes again, stinging with more tears, now that Nora has remembered the pain.

“Oh, I think I'm fine though. I'm tough. I'll get back out there."

She doesn't move.

His cheek twitches, but Jake doesn’t let her distract him. He crouches down.

“Come on, Rocky. Let’s get'cha cleaned up, yeah?”

She sticks out her arms, and amused, Jake peels her from the rink.

She is on the bench again in a flash. Metal is cold against the backs of her thighs, and Nora shivers.

A warm hand brushes across the nape of her neck, and Jake murmurs something in her that Nora doesn’t quite catch.

Only after Jake leaves does Nora comprehend the words.

“Be right back, sweetheart.”

Alone, Nora looks around. She feels a little out of focus.

Underneath the neon arcade sign, Natasha is chugging a bottle of water while Bob readies another. She doesn't see Bradley anywhere. He must've snuck off or gone home with that girl.

Nora remembers their conversation and drops her head into her hand, propped on her thighs.

Nora caught the stiff edge of Bradley's sleeve.

“Sorry. Can I speak to you for a second? Alone?”

He was in the middle of a conversation with Maid of Honor sash, who glared suspiciously at Nora as Bradley slid into the booth across from her.

Don't even worry, Nora wanted to reassure. He’s all yours.

“So Coyote asked me an interesting question,” Nora started. She explained the context and repeated the question. "Did you tell anyone?"

“Did I tell anyone what?”

“You know,” Nora insisted, and Bradley shook his head, scrubbing a hand over his mouth to hide the glimpse of the entertained smile forming there. Jackass. “You know, Bradshaw. Don’t make me spell it out for you.”

He shrugged. “I really don’t know.”

“Christ…”

What had Nora done to deserve this? Riddle me that, universe.

She exhaled. "Fine. We were both at Captain Wolfe's party a few years ago." Five to be exact. She held back a groan. "There was a pool game and drinks and shots and..."

And and and.

He grinned.

"Oh, I think I remember now. So I shouldn't have told everyone I know about the hot sex in the back of the Bronco? I shouldn't have mentioned that?" And if Bradley expected her to blush, Nora disappointed him with an unimpressed glare and a swift kick in the shins. He yelped. "God, I'm kidding, Rogers. I didn't tell them anything."

She whispered quickly, "Why would Coyote ask me that then?"

After an internal debate, Nora said carefully, "I have one more question. Do…?”

Do you all think something is going on between me and a certain arrogant pilot from Texas?

Her lips parted as Nora hesitated, and impatient, Bradley pulled a pained face. “

“Nora, I was about to get laid."

God. She waved him away. “Fine, sorry. Use protection.”

"Always do," Bradley said with a wink and was gone, leaving Nora alone with the smothered question, still kicking up sparks in the back of her awareness.

She needed that drink to be a double.

Something brushes against her knee, and Nora startles.

“Careful,” Jake cautions, voice low and soothing, like Nora is a spooked horse. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

She didn’t notice him come back.

She relaxes.

“Did you get your skates?”

He blinks. “My what?”

“You went to the Skate Rental counter, didn’t you? I saw you.”

“I went to ask them for their First Aid…” Jake is cradling a small red and white box in his arms. A roll of gauze is around his thumb like a ring. “…and get you some water because your knee is bleeding, Hollywood."

He says it like Nora might’ve forgotten. She frowns.

She didn’t forget.

She would've remembered.

She carefully sips the water as Jake opens the kit and pulls out some bandages and ointment. He opens a packet of alcohol wipes with his teeth and nods at Nora’s leg.

“Can I?”

Nora nods, and Jake sinks down on his knees.

She is surprised when Jake doesn’t start with her knee, instead carefully unknotting the laces and pulling the skates from her feet, setting them down on the carpet.

He smiles faintly at the pink socks, the little embroidered heart on the ankles, and Nora swears Jake brushes a gentle thumb across the pattern.

He applies the alcohol, and Nora lets out a sharp hiss at the sting, the burn.

He doesn’t prolong the sensation. He moves with such quick and efficient purpose that she wonders if one of Jake's sisters is a nurse or doctor.

She wants to ask him.

What comes out instead is, "What did you tell Coyote about me?”

For a brief moment, Jake pauses, then carefully sets the bandage in place, crumpling the plastic wrapper in a clenched fist.

His voice is hard to read. “Why’re you asking?”

She should say something like, “Sorry, I’m really drunk, and I didn’t mean to ask you that. Let’s pretend I never said anything. This never happened,” and Jake would say something like, “Can do, Hollywood.”

That would be that.

Instead, Nora throws away the shovel and starts digging the hole with her hands.

“Something Coyote said. What did you tell him?”

“Well, I guess I just said I might've met a beautiful and smart and clever as hell woman, who's basically my dream girl." Jake looks at Nora, all dimples and gleaming green, stroking across the edge of the bandage with a soft touch. "My argumentative dream girl."

She swallows against a suddenly dry mouth. "Just that, huh?"

"Just that." His expression is warm. "She doesn't like me though, right, sweetheart? Not even kind of?"

She realizes that on his knees like that, Jake could slide over half an inch and be between her parted legs. He could lean right in and...

“Right," Nora echoes. "Not even kind of."

A grin brims on his lips.

She lets the moment fade, and blessedly, Jake does too.

Jake pats her on the knee and rises. He gathers the wrappers and runs the First Aid kit back to the Skate Rental counter, coming back with another water and fries.

She could actually cry. She munches on the burning hot fries and drinks the water instead and sobers enough to push down the urge to lean on Jake's broad shoulder.

She puts on her skates again as Jake tosses the rest of the fries and dusts off his hands. She flexes her knee like a brand new Barbie doll with a proud grin. He watches her with a fond expression that softens every part of his face.

“Will I live, Texas?”

“Think so, Hollywood.”

Jake sweeps his fingers through his hair, picking up the cowboy hat from the bench and setting it back on his head.

"Now," Jake drawls. "We have enough time for a few more trips around the rink. Want to get back out there?"

He holds out a hand, and Nora slips her hand in his.

She doesn’t let go in the rink, and Jake doesn’t either.

When Jake walks her to the door and lingers, looking at her with those eyes, Nora should probably close the door in his face. She should close the door and go to bed alone and tell him to do the same.

She can't be trusted around him, not with the alcohol and the adrenaline coursing through her bloodstream, making her feel unbalanced.

Instead, Nora digs her own grave.

She holds the door open, and Jake comes in with a smirk, smug and knowing.

Everything is a blur from there. A supercut of soft touches and gasping breaths and the sound of his name as Jake presses her against every damn surface in the damn apartment.

Every kiss is devouring, sucked into the column of her neck, pressed against her bare shoulder, open-mouthed and possessive.

He doesn’t kiss her on the lips, not yet, and Nora wonders if Jake wants to make her beg him.

She’s never begged for anything in her damn life.

She might let him.

She is pliable under him, and Jake is more than willing to use that to his advantage, maneuvering them onto the mattress.

She is still dressed, and on her back, Nora can hardly breathe as Jake reaches under the dress and pulls her underwear down.

"You're so beautiful..."

He licks a long stripe over her core, tongue flat and broad.

She can’t think. She can hardly breathe.

She’s right on the edge, aching, when Jake pulls back.

He looks up. Mouth slick with her, grinning like a devil.

"Come on, sweetheart," Jake murmurs on a low breath that fans right across her exposed core. She whimpers. "We’re just gettin’ started. Be good for me."

She shakes awake, drenched in sweat, with a familiar ache between her legs.

It was a dream. She's alone.

Her dress sparkles from the corner of the room, where a drunken Nora had left it a few hours earlier and crawled into bed in an old NYU shirt that feels too warm now.

She peels it from her skin and gulps down the whole water glass on her nightstand.

Neither is enough to soothe the heat that burns under her skin.

Nora sighs out an emphatic "Fuck" in the darkness and lets her hand drift under the covers. She comes with a hand over her mouth, a familiar name on her tongue.

note: i will add a real note when i don't have a blue light headache, but... past nora and bradley, confirmed? current nora and jake, still a question mark? what do we think?

should i spring the nora and bradley one shot from the vault next?

want to be tagged in future chapters? fill out this form!

#i refuse to have any chill about this #this chapter was EVERYTHING #honestly just inject it in my veins #I AM NOT KIDDING READ THIS SERIES #one of my all time favorites #tgm fic recs #here have a fic rec

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cheelduh · 4 years ago

Text

How to strike your way into someone’s heart (Highschool AU)

Part 2 to this. Can be read alone!

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Warnings: A lot of swearing I mean what do you expect they’re all teenagers. Lots of brick slapping. Childe clowns Scaramouche. OH YES this isn’t edited at all lmfao have fun.

Synopsis: It’s your big date with Childe after you lost the bet miserably. You decide to pay the occult club a visit in hopes of finding something that can...ease your concerns. Childe on the other hand has Signora give him a friendly piece of advice, believe it or not.

Note: SRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE A MONTH

For as long as you can remember, you've never believed in ghosts, demons, or souls that lose their way in the endless void, forced to roam the earth in repentance.

Believing in the unknown takes creativity, adventure, maybe even a little sense of fear. Scratch that—a shitton of fear, because humans love to weave in their insecurities and inability to explain something into something of a phenomenon.

Bad luck lies in this category. Bad luck is simply a way to justify the catastrophe that one cannot admit they have fabricated themselves. Everyone wants a reason as to why shit hits the fan, and it can be anything but their own fault.

Bad luck is nothing but a load of bull to you. That's totally why you're standing outside the calculus classroom during lunch break, which happens to be the official meet spot for the occult club.

You raise a fist to knock, but then falter, thinking over your options once again. Is this what it has come to? Putting your faith into the weird kids that once tried to summon Schrödinger's cat for the physics final.

Fischl kicks the door wide open, a smirk playing at her lips once she spots you. "One cannot refrain from the song of your cogitation. The feline for which thou dwell on—"

A squeak leaves your throat and you flinch back, cutting her off. "You can read my mind?"

"Fischl," An icy eyed boy shows up from behind her and points a thumb back. "Mona needs your help."

Fischl squints at you for a brief moment, and then spins onto her heel to go back into the room.

The blue haired lower class man, Chongyun you guess, narrows his eyes at you. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Finally you manage to speak, palms all sweaty. "Yeah uh, I need your help. You know, with occulty things." You use your hands to articulate your thoughts, but ultimately give up.

You're not sure if it's pity towards your pathetic explanation or simply annoyance, but Chongyun widens the opening. He silently gestures for you to follow.

Stumbling on your feet and putting on your big girl pants, you hurry inside of the room, hoping you aren't seen by Beidou. She wouldn't let you hear the end of this.

The temperature instantly drops, and you have to adjust your sight to navigate. There's heavy incense in the air as well as a a few lighted candles from the dollar store, you guess.

Sitting smack dab in the middle of all the demonic markings is Mona, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Chongyun has made his way next to her, crossing his arms with a sigh, and Fischl is busy cooing at her bird.

"Well well well..." Mona's amused, eyes almost twinkling as she gets up from the poor desk that had to suffer the wrath of her ass. "If it isn't Y/N."

Mona is a glorified dick wiper in your books. One time, she partnered up with you in chemistry last year and refused to do any work because apparently her "star sign" said she was incompatible with science. You haven't forgiven her since.

"I need your help." You barely manage to choke out the words, reigning yourself in by clenching your fists instead. It'll be unethical to claw her face, especially since you're the one who's come to her.

"Oh?" She smiles wickedly, revelling in every moment of this no doubt. "Why would the high and mighty Y/N need help from the 'Whoroscope whore'?"

Fischl nearly slips out a laugh, trying with her upmost ability to refrain from rolling all over the floor.

You blink away your tears of almost-laughter, casually sliding in twenty mora across the table dividing you two. If she's a whoroscope whore like you say she is, she'll definitely put it in her bra.

Mona raises a brow, but her eyes linger on the bill for a second too much. "What makes you think I'll do it for money?"

"That's simple," You say, rolling your eyes. "When you see mora, you cling to it like a baby clings to a tit. Now just take it and solve my issues."

She fumes a litany of curses but snatches the money up anyways.

"What do you want?"

You breathe in, then out. "I need a talisman."

Mona raises a brow, hand on her hip. "I'm sorry. Did I get that right?"

How dare she. You will your eye into not twitching, the beginnings of fire thrumming through your veins, scalding hot. How dare she make me repeat myself.

"You know, the thing to fend off evil spirits," Your statement hangs heavy in the air as the cogs in their brains click into place. "I need one that can remove the most evilest thing times ten to the power of twenty five on this planet."

Everyone immediately thinks of Hu Tao.

Chongyun is the first to speak from an area of expertise, seemingly shocked at your words. "Are you sure you want a talisman that powerful? How bad is the evil spirit you've come across?"

You glance out the window, through the semi-open blinds. The apprehension curls in your stomach once you spot Childe chasing Aether with safety scissors, and you've never been more sure of than anything in your life.

Gulping, you turn back to the exorcist. "I'm 110% sure."

He doesn't ask any more questions and goes to fetch the talisman.

Mona clears her throat. "So I hear you have a date with Childe today. Quite the character you've taken to."

"Oh please," You hiss through your teeth, your blood pressure going up tenfold, "you're the one that told him our star signs were intertwined and that we're fated lovers."

She shrugs innocently, stance casual unlike your own that is ready to lunge an attack.

"Here you are," Chongyun hands you a talisman, a colourful mix of some charms, some kind of liquid in a bottle, and about a shitton of other things. "You'll need these if you're going to face the most demonic of all evils."

You think of Childe's stupidly handsome smirk, the playful life of his eyes, and how gentle and considerate he is with you. You think about how cruel he is to others, but how loving he can be to you.

"Oh, I will be."

—

Childe is getting his ass handed to him by Scaramouche on the switch. It's just that he can't seem to focus, not with the forthcoming date all over his mind.

He hasn't experienced these kind of jitters in a long time. Has to endure that foolish smile that's about to plaster all over his face.

Scaramouche may be a son of a bitch with an agenda, but he doesn't appreciate his acquaintances safeguarding their personal crap when it starts to leak onto him. Especially when it comes to video games.

"Okay," The short boy sighs, stretching over the staff room sofa to drop his controller on the cushions. "Let's hear it." He can't even properly enjoy his victories when Childe isn't giving it his all.

"Hear what?" Childe lays his head back, relaxing from all the strain of endless gaming during the lunch hour. He seems too relaxed for someone who's broken into the teacher's lounge.

"Why you're so distracted." Scaramouche points out. "Not that I care—hey! I'm serious here!"

Childe's cracking up for absolutely no reason, rudely cutting him off. "I'm sorry—sorry it's just so hard to take you seriously when you're wearing that stupid fucking hat."

"Don't question the drip." The older moves his head to glare at him, but the thin stripe of silk on his hat swooshes with him, and it's enough to have Childe clutching his stomach in pain as he barks out in laughter.

"Grow the fuck up." Scaramouche says, no doubt exasperated from the constant shit he gets.

"Ok—ok I'm sorry."

There's a knock on the door before Scaramouche gets the chance to intimidate him again.

"Fuck shit fuck who is that? Wasn't there a staff meeting?" Childe whisper yells, panic clear in the ocean of his eyes.

Scaramouche shrugs and downs a can of soda with no care in the world.

Childe would be nonchalant too. If it were a normal day, he wouldn't give two shits about getting caught.

However, he's looking forward to that date he has with you today. Detention is going foil all his lecherous plans.

"It's me." The feminine sound of a threat calls out from the other side. "Open the door." The clicks and clacks of her toes tapping the floor indicating her impatience.

The two sigh in relief, Childe getting up to open the door. It's way too early in the afternoon to deal with this crap.

"Surprised to see me?" Signora greets sweetly, and if not for the murderous glint in her eyes, he would smile back.

"Yeah, I didn't say Bloody Mary three times." The ginger replies, keeping a steady eye on the upperclassman in case she pulls a fast one.

The blonde shoves him aside in offence, and prances in like she owns the goddamn place. Scaramouche greets her with the bird.

"There's this rumour going around—I'm sure you've heard..."

"Oh?" Childe pockets his keys, ready for an attack, not even remotely interested in the topic.

"Something about how Y/N gave Mona a visit today" Signora muses, elegantly taking a seat on the arm of the couch, "with your date and all, I just thought you should know."

"Hah!" Scaramouche bursts out in laughter, tears in the corner of his eyes. "I can't believe she went to get a horoscope reading on how shitty your date's gonna be."

"Get castrated." Childe growls, flipping him off on both hands.

"Now now boys," Signora's lips curl, and she clasps both manicured hands together, prepared to break the fight if it ever reaches its peak. "Settle down. You two are comrades."

"As if I'm comrades with this SIMP!" Scaramouche has to wheeze out the words.

The youngest clenches his fists, unclenches, and then lets a smirk grow. "Oh? I'm the simp? What about that time Mona pantsed you in-front of all the freshmen and you fell in love with her."

Scaramouche glares at him, a glare strong enough to have anyone shaking in their shoes. "I'm attracted at her sheer audacity of trying to fuck I, Scaramouche, the 8th harbinger, over. It takes balls."

"Mad respect." Signora leans forward to place her phone on the coffee table, then approaches Childe. "Moving on, the reason I've decided to bestow my precious intel on you is because I have a favour to ask of you."

"What?" He says blankly, confused that she has a request for him out of all people.

"I need you to let me get you ready for this date of yours." She gives him a gaze that is enough to wither away any arguments.

Childe shares a look with Scaramouche as if to say "am I fucking deaf because I sure as shit didn't just hear that."

"You sure as hell did, boys." Signora intercepts the connection of their two brainwaves with a dreaded sigh. "I hate Y/N. This is the only way I can get back at her."

"Hey!" Childe exclaims loudly, waving his hands in the air incessantly. "What makes you think I'll let you shit on my future girlfriend."

"I'll be doing nothing of the sorts." She points out, giving him a sly smile. "I just know she's terrified of what's coming. The better the date is, the more she's gonna hate herself. What more do I need but to sprinkle some inner conflict within her airtight resolve?"

As favorable as the proposal is, Childe contemplates for a second. Signora...helping him? This could work to his advantage if he plays his cards right.

His inner turmoil takes him into the future, where you two are happily married with eight and a half kids. If you ever managed to find out Signora was the culprit that was finally able to set you two up, you'd never forgive him.

"Nah I'll take a hard pass." He doesn't want to think about divorce and custody battles this early on. He'd rather face the brunt of Signora's wrath.

Scaramouche chooses right then to make a tactical withdrawal out through the window since he doesn't want to be a witness to a murder he hasn't caused.

Surprisingly— "Fine then." Signora shrugs, unbothered when summoning out a minty juul from no where. She's disappointed nonetheless.

Childe tilts his head, perplexed, but decides against mulling over it for too long. Instead, he strides off to the door, wanting to get the last two periods over with so he can run home and freshen up for this date.

"Oh and Childe?" Signora calls out to him, but he barely acknowledges her, only pausing momentarily without looking back. "A piece of friendly advice. A diligent student like Y/N, there's no way she'd be into rash things like fighting. So try and control yourself, hmm?"

He flashes the senior a sheepish smile, the front row tickets to the illegal underground fight-club burning in the back pocket of his pants.

—

Childe conceals near the bushes by the gate, expertly hiding his shaking hands by pretending to look for something in his back. His goal isn't to seem desperate, even though he's raced out here at the speed of light after Havria's dismissal.

It's not like he's trying to eavesdrop or anything. He just wants a little insight on how you're feeling about this, in case the rumors of you visiting the occult club wasn't a farce.

From his peripheral, he spots you and a familiar figure that is Lisa, leisurely walking side by side as you approach the main side walk.

"Ready for your date, Y/N? You've been daydreaming all afternoon." Lisa winks, and dodges the shove you send her way with experience like no other.

"Yes, daydreaming about punching you in the face." Your left eye twitches in annoyance as you fix your hold on your skateboard.

"Well then, I'll be off—ah!"

The gorilla grip you have on her sleeve takes away all the time she has to get on the last bus she's about to miss.

Your utter strength is enough to make Childe's knees weak. How pathetic he thinks.

"Oh no you don't," You say in a sing-song voice, "you got me into this, so you're going to help."

"Help with what?" Lisa fakes a hard pout as she bats her lashes, trying to collect pity points.

"I—" You inhale, loosening your grip on her and averting your eyes nervously to see if anyone's watching. "Don't make me say it."

The older girl motions for you to continue, and you're sure you've suffered more for less at this point.

"I've never...been on a..." The sentence ends in a trailed murmur.

Childe doesn't think he's ever seen you so flustered. He's about to snap a picture for later, but decides against it. They'll be plenty of moments later on to see your cute expressions.

Lisa's grin is both seductive and terrifying, Childe notices. "You've never been on a date?"

"Shut up!" You hiss, dropping your board so you can cover her lips with your palm, eyes darting around your surroundings frantically. "Not so loud."

He has to bite at his fist to hide his amusement.

As if she has a sixth sense, Lisa's eyes somehow find Childe's through the abundance of leaves, and there's a glint in her eyes that nearly makes him shart his pants.

"Of course Y/N," She replies sweetly to you, who is currently unaware of the staring match going on. "I'll teach you everything you need to know...and more."

Childe doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing. Nor does he want to find out.

—

You ponder on what's taking him so long, more on edge than you usually are. Thankfully, Lisa basically pried your hair down from its usual up-do. Said something about how you can hide your lack of shits given as to not offend him.

Except you think you're giving more shits that you expected to. Why else would your heart be pounding so hard?

"What took you so long?" You sense him creeping up on you, ceasing his chance to pounce.

Childe groans playfully and slaps a hand over his face as he comes into view. "How'd you know?"

"You have a douche-styled gait." You reply as you remove your gaze off your phone to approach him.

He's prepared to shoot a witty reply, but it dies halfway through his throat when he procures a good look at you. Your hair frames your face elegantly, eyes shining despite the tiredness that's so clear, all complete with a cooling spring dress that hugs you just right.

Mouth going dry, he forgets how to speak the common tongue, unable to tear his gaze off your form.

You shift in place awkwardly. "Uh are you okay? Looking a little...blank."

"Sorry—sorry just thinking." Childe stumbles over his words like the complete idiot and a half he is, berating himself countlessly on the inside. He regains his confidence once he spots the light dust on your cheeks. "You ready for the best date ever?"

"The best date huh?" It's the first time you smile today, and he swears his heart leaps in his rib cage. You're the prettiest thing he's ever laid his eyes on. "I'm ready. I better not be disappointed."

"I wouldn't dare disappoint, girlie." He feigns mock offence as dramatically as possible. "I'll show you how to have some real fun. Cool keychain by the way, for good luck?"

It's one of the charms Chongyun urged you to carry with you at all times to keep all forms of evil away.

"Yeah...something like that."

The two of you ease into the walk in a relatively comfortable fashion, contributing with lively chatter and a few jabs here and there. It's not awkward at all, not like you thought it would be. Your nerves loosen up, mind diverting from the roots of the stress of high school.

"—And you won't believe what Kaeya did the other day. I'm telling you there's something wrong with him because that SoundCloud rapper wannabe Venti goaded him into birdboxing through the hallways at lunch."

"And the son of a bitch did it?"

"The son of a bitch did it." Childe confirmed, gasping through his laughs as the two of you converse in psychobabble. "And guess who he bumped into?"

You're choking in laughter, tears in your eyes as you hunch over and shake. "He didn't. Childe—no he didn't."

"Straightttt into Diluc. And he had the balls to feel him up because he thought he bumped into a hot bab—"

Childe crashes into a sturdy chest and stumbles backwards towards you, but manages to catch his balance midway. Both of you freeze when faced with a buff guy from another school, bandages on his fist and a crooked smirk on his face.

Fuck. You think. Classic high school cliché.

Realizing he can't risk the remainder of this date when it hasn't even begun, Childe raises a hand in apology, aiming to be the bigger person instead of socking the kid in the face.

"Sorry. I wasn't looking." He offers to the guy, but you can tell he isn't buying any of it. There are about four more kids who group, a setup that isn't going to end in your favour.

"Hey punk. You don't remember me?" The upperclassmen barks out, glaring holes into your date.

You deadpan towards Childe, but he's too is racking his brain to remember. Ends up shrugging with no recollection.

"I have a list of names but they're in my other pants." Shit, what an a-grade reply. Now you know you're done for. "Listen dude, I'm kind of on a date and the vibe is going great. Don't ruin it."

"It's a good thing she's here to watch then!" The guy yells, stomping so that he's right in-front of Childe, ready to pounce. "You humiliated me in front of my gang last week. I'm here to rip you a new one."

Childe blinks, tries to remember, and when he doesn't, he grabs a wad full of cash from the his Fanny pack and throws it at the guy's feet.

Everyone's eyes bulge out of their sockets, including yours at the amount of money placed there casually on the crack of the dirty sidewalk.

"Hopefully this is enough for the damages." Childe offers, aiming to not further escalate the situation albeit how pissed he is right now. If you weren't here...well that would be another, much more violent story.

With a soft tug, Childe brings you close and begins to pass the guy, until he's abruptly stopped by a hand gripping his shoulder tightly.

"I don't think so!" The guys barks, and his lackeys move to surround you two. "You gotta pay taxes too buddy." Oh he's getting way too comfortable now.

A feral smile grows on Childe's face as he looks over his shoulder. "Oh?"

"Yeah shithead." The guy seethes, puffing out his chest to size him up.

Childe itches for a fight. He can no longer keep in the urge and is just about ready to raise a heavy fist, but is beaten by the sound of a loud thwack, and then a painful groan following.

There you are, standing in front of the trembling asshole, spinning your crossbody bag in circles like it's a nunchuck in all it's glory. There's a deadly glint in your eyes, pure, unadulterated vexation in your features.

If Childe could fall for you any harder, it's probably happening now. In that exact moment, his heart beats in his ears uncontrollably, and there's nothing but raw adoration that piles up all at once.

You're an angel of destruction, a force not to be reckoned with, and shit, you're the eye of the fucking storm.

Fire courses through your veins as you pulverize the guy with your bag, swinging with such expertise it has Childe in awe. "He may be an absolute idiot for not remembering—"

"Hey girlie you're killing me here!" Your date snaps out of his astonishment temporarily.

"—but you don't get to call him a shithead, you asshole!" You snarl angrily, gripping the handle of your bag tightly, decking everyone that lunges at you, letting out strings of curses with every hit. Every hit sends a flock of them either stumbling back in pain, or knocked out completely.

Childe doesn't even get a chance to lift a finger by the time you're done violating them with your heavy ass pink bag. Stands there like an absolute loser.

"Apologize." You pant, prepared to send another flurry of attacks at the leader, who is crawling away with a battered face. "Apologize or I'll—I'll fucking Russian neck tie your ass."

"S-sorry!" The guy whimpers out and tries not to piss his pants at the threat.

Childe is still in too much shock at the whole ordeal to reply, short circuiting.

Another thirty seconds pass until he registers the smaller hand waving in front of his face. He catches your cold hand through his haze, brings it closer.

Running a free hand through his locks, he doesn't hide his astonishment. "You're fucking gorgeous, girlie." He whistles lowly, eyeing you with a new kind of regard.

"I-I uh." Your face is all shades of red by now, the adrenaline from kicking ass wearing down. "Let's go."

"How is that bag so heavy?" One of the fallen gasps out in pain, clutching his ribs as he trembles on the floor. "Like a buh-brick."

A part of your zipper in open, and Childe briefly peeks out of morbid curiosity. His jaw slackens. "Is that a...no, it can't be."

"It's a brick." You murmur guiltily, gnawing at your bottom lip. "Just in case." Fingers tentatively play with the straps.

Childe is head over heels by now, all smitten as a foreign warmth bubbles up in his throat, and he's just about sure he'll puke his heart out.

His next words are picked out carefully. "There's an underground fight club going on—"

You lock and aim for his right kidney.

Worth a try, Childe thinks.

"SIKE. Joking—joking. Just a joke." He insists, gloved hands raised by his ears in defence.

Clicking your tongue, you scowl and rush past him.

It hasn't even been an hour and it's been the most exciting date Childe's ever experienced. When he sees your lips twitch, he knows it's the same for you as well.

"Are we going or not?" You mumble, avoiding eye contact, a tinge of red still decorating your cheeks.

Childe crumbles into his hands at your deadly duality. One that comes for his enemies and one that comes straight for his heart.

#genshin impact #genshin impact oneshot #childe x reader #childe #genshin tartagalia #genshin oneshot #tartagila #mona genshin impact #Chonghyun #kaeya alberich #master diluc #venti genshin impact #fischl #lisa genshin impact #jean gunnhildr #fanfic

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mlm-mod-taka · 3 years ago

Note

Hey mod taka! I really like your blog and I saw your other coming out posts so if it's ok,may I ask for Hajime and Leon with a s/o coming out as non-binary? Thanks :]

Also can i be 🍯 anon?

COMING OUT • leon, hajime x nb reader

of course, 🍯 anon. thank you, and welcome to the class! i got my first leon request- im not the best with writing him, so do forgive me if its a little out of character. i hope you like these!

tws/cws: mentions of misgendering & deadnaming.

|| -> mod taka <3

"woah, really? thats great, man! oh- my bad- uh... thats great, homie! ive heard of this non binary stuff before, and it sounds really cool. i 100% support you!"

if you two dated before you came out as enby, he'll start calling you his significant other, rather than the gendered terms, to make you more comfortable.

once he learns what your pronouns are, and why people put them in their bios, he'll edit all his socials to have his pronouns in them. definitely also tries his best to correct himself when he calls you the wrong pronouns. he'll get used to it after a week or two, just bear with him for a little while he learns.

you want to be called a new name? you bet. this is the same with your pronouns, it'll take him a small while to get used to it, but once he does, he never calls you your previous names/pronouns again.

if you want a new name but don't know what to call yourself, he'll brainstorm names with you. suggests names like "bee, cotton, lou, skylar, aspen, maya, etc. etc..." tries his best to come up with gender neutral names for you.

while he's not the best with style, he will also offer his help if you want to go shopping for some more androgynous clothing. leon knows quite a bit about certain shops, so he would gladly help you out with your new closet!

helps you collect and edit documents for you to legally have your pronouns, name, and gender changed. he'll have a small notepad of things that you should update after you change your name. on this list is credit cards, drivers license, bank account, passport, so on and so forth.

if anyone uses the wrong pronouns or uses the wrong name, he'll gets very defensive and annoyed quickly. most of the time, its just a misunderstanding and the person is supportive as well, but in the rare cases where its a jerk, you'll practically have to tie him up and drag him away before he beats them up beyond recognition.

in conclusion, he's very very supportive, so can and will fight anyone who isn't. doesn't disrespect your pronouns, identity, or your new name. he loves you no matter what you are, and it really does show.

doesn't really have much of a reaction other than a smile. he doesn't think about you differently, and he sort of got the feeling that you are something like that, so its not a surprise to him.

says thank you for trusting him, and telling him about that, then he continues eating his lunch, looking over at his phone every once in awhile.

you were a little sad that he reacted like that, hoping that he wouldn't just ignore what you said and actually acknowledged your pronouns, and he does.

in a slight surprise, he instantly started using they/them for you, and never accidentally used your past ones again. he didn't have much trouble changing, in all honesty.

he doesn't know much about non binary folk other than the basic, common knowledge. he watches some youtubw documentaries and interviews with other nb people, to try and see what you're feeling.

granted, he knows that not every enby person is the same, but he just wants to feel more connected and understanding with you, you are his lover, after all.

is one of those people that show you whenever he finds a non binary person on a tv show, video game, movie or anime. he just looks so happy to show you that you're starting to have representation, that you get happy too.

will help you research for any doctors/hospitals if you ever want any surgeries. also looks up some prices for it, willing to give you a hand with the money needed.

whenever pride month comes along, he'll give you a present at the beginning of the month. its almost always a wearable accesory with your flags on it, but every once in awhile he'll give you a full flag/subtly themed shirt with your identities.

if anyone disrespects you, he'll fight for a small while, before deciding that its a waste of time, and carries both of you away. he'll simply report them to the schools principle and carry on with your guys' lives.

doesn't treat you any differently. it truly doesn't matter to him, as long as you are being you, and you're generally happy, then he couldn't ask for more.

#📍 dismissal ∆#leon kuwata #leon #leon kuwata x reader #leon x reader #hajime hinata #hajime #hajime hinata x reader #hajime x reader #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa headcanons #🍯 anon

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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years ago

Note

fboy face strokes my way into your inbox ayyyy

ok ok so sk8 for the fandom bc they need some love too

uh abt. me: any pronouns slight they/them preference but it switches so often 😅 greyaromantic + demiromantic with a slight preference to men.

ok i have trouble falling asleep or it's just out of my getting distracted and not realizing what time it is *coughs in stayed up till 5 am to watch the 2.3 livestream on a school night* im considered to be blunt and sarcastic with 80% of what i say is sarcasm and the other 20% is just the truth.

loud with close friends and on the internet and quiet with people i don't like or don't know

uh large groups of people staring me is sort of a fear of mine and i have claustrophobia

uh that's all <33

im literally platonically in love with you you give off such sweet and wholesome vibes ily /p

you've been matched with...

kaoru sakurayashiki!

no sleep buddies

no honestly he has insomnia and anxiety he cant sleep either so

you guys can stay up late watching youtube together because as much as he doesn't wanna admit it he likes spending the late night with you (he just despises the alarm clock in the morning)

he'd 100% watch the genshin streams w you don't you worry

he's a kaeya kisser ew /j

no but you both have your fictional boyfriends that you joke you'd leave each other for but the jokes only strengthen your bond anyway <3 its wholesome

he's a blunt person too!! tends to say what he's thinking around those he trusts (he's also a businessman so when it comes to that he's very good at lies of omission but not with you)

the only time you'll catch him lying is if 1) he got hurt at s and he's hiding it 2) he's planning a surprise for you

did I mention he's THE surprise date expert

he's so good at it

like—im one of those people who needs a plan so he'll give you a time for a date and what you should wear (fancy, casual, somewhere in the middle, etc) if you need it, but that's all the details you get. and if you don't need those details? all bets are off you're walking in blind

would NEVER bring you to S if you don't like crowds

the moment someone is talking to him his weird fangirls want to know everything about the person and he doesn't want to put you through that

however, once you start dating, he doesn't let anyone step over a (very clear) line when talking to him. when talking turns to flirting, he excuses himself and if they insist, he reminds them that he indeed has a wonderful significant other that he loves dearly

he gets so pissy and passive aggressive at them too if they keep pushing it

you bet your ass joe has sent you a video before

I think he'd like to see your loud side, but understands if its not something you can do in real life as much as you can online

jokes about how ur gonna leave him for ur online friends but like its very much a joke dw he's not an ass

however he enjoys really quiet moments

if you're doing something on your phone or computer he'll want to be next to you to do it

he's working on something or reading or something like that

and if he's reading mmmm him in glasses— ill stop now lol

anyway he just enjoys being close to you, not that you two have to be exchanging words. just being in your presence makes him happy

you stole the loml i hope u know that /nm

#atlas — 🍁#//ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘꜱ

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argumentl · 3 years ago

Text

The Freedom of Expression Ep 63 - Executing the food combo plan

Part 2 (To Part 1)

T: Yeh, yeh, yeh. Its like making yummy things with the type of stuff kids can usually buy. I used to love this so much as a kid, stuff like cucumber with honey and melon.

J, K: Ahh

T: So, today I've brought such a recipe from the seinen magazine, 'Morning'.

J: Oh!

T: Really!

K: We can eat it, yeah?

T: Of course. What do you think it is? What kind of thing? You probably can't guess.

K: I don't know.

J: I can see some vague ingrediants sitting off camera over there, but...

Kami: Uh, there was that thing a long time ago where putting soy sauce on tangerines makes them taste like salmon roe.

T: Oh yeh!

Kami: Is it that?

T: Ah, no. I'll give you a clue. The first thing is this ...Umaibo

K: Ahh, you could make something yummy with Umaibo.

J: Yeah, cause its umai (*umai = delicious*)

T: Next, marmalade.

J: Oh no, marmalade with umaibo? I can't see that working.

T: Next, cooked salad chicken that you can get in the convenience store.

J: Oh, that packaged stuff?

T: Yeah. Mix these three together.

J: Ehh? I wouldn't mix them.

T: So, the name of the dish is Salad chicken with Uma-jam.

J: Ehh?

T: Haha

K: It somehow doesn't sound that appetizing, haha.

J: Right. Those ones on the live broadcast did kind of sound delicious, but this...

T: Like this *holds up plate of ingrediants* , we've got chicken and marmalade here, and we'll sprinkle crushed umaibo on top of it to eat. If you do this, you'll be surprised what a good beer snack it makes.

J: Really??

T: Kamiya Takahiro says so!

K: Ok, lets do it.

J: Yeah.

T: So, I have three flavours of umaibo, so we can see what they each taste like with it. We can do rock, paper, scissors, or you can just choose with flavour you like..

K: What flavours are they?

T: We've got cod roe, cheese, or corn soup.

J: Ok, lets do rock, paper, scissors.

*They play RPS, Kaoru loses first, Joe eventually wins*

J: Ok, I'll go for corn soup. I bet this would taste nice as a salad ingredient.

T: Well, yeah. Ok (*To K*), you have this (*cod roe*).

K: Oh, I wanted this anyway.

J: Really?!

T: I wanted cheese too.

J: Ehh? Honestly, I would have thought cod roe would be the worst.

T: Now, there is a specific way to crush these. You have to exert the stress of daily life on them when you crush them. Aleviate your stress with it. Like this..

*comence crushing umaibos, Joe uses his elbow*

T: Haha

K: ???*3

J: Ahh, I wonder if this will taste good. This is my first meal of the day today.

T:???*4

K: Then just pour it on?

T: Well, yeah.

K: And mix it up?

J: Colour-wise, cod roe looks the most appetizing.

T: Yeah, it does. This does look quite nice.

K: Oh yeah! The cheese looks nice.

J: Do we put all of it on?

K: Joe, yours doesn't look that great.

J: Yeah, visually, mine's not good.

K: You said put it all in?

T: Yeah, then mix it up.

*mixing*

K: It doesn't really combine well though.

T: Well, you want a bit of the orange sauce on top.

K: Ok, Tasai, you go first.

T: Can I? Ok, here goes.

K: You have cheese, yeah?

T: Yeh, cheese. Cheese and orange. It looks good.*eats* Mmm!

J: Its good? Really??

T: Mmm. Its delicious.

J: Are you serious?

K: Really?

T: Yes

J: Are you just trying to please us?

T: Haha, no. Its not what you'd expect.

K: Ok, i'll go next. I'll get a decent mouthful.

T: Hey, look *points at K*

K: Hm?

J, T: Hahahaha

J: He's saying 'Hm'!

K: Its a bit sweet, its not that great.

T: Ah, maybe you put too much in.

J: Can I try mine?

T: Yeah.

J: Corn soup..

T: How is it?

J: Hmmm..

K: Haha

J: Ah, but..

T: How is it? Does it work?

J: Mm, its not disgusting...but...ah, but maybe its ok.

T: Ah! You realised it!

K: Hm, Im not so sure.

T: Imagine having this with a highball or something, an adult snack.

K: I think it was a bit too sweet for me. Maybe its that this cod roe flavour was too sweet.

T: Cheese might be better.

J: Yeah, this..

K: You're eating a lot aren't you?

J: I was hungry, haha.

T: Have a try of mine where my chopsticks havn't touched yet.

K: (*Tries Tasai's*) Ah! This works!

J: Was it the cod roe making it taste bad?

K: It tastes a lot different.

T: It must be the cheese.

J: (*Tries Tasai's*) Ah, mm, this is really nice. This is nicer than mine.

T: It must be this one.

K: Its the cheese.

T: Its good, isn't it?　

K: Mm.

J: The amount of jam to use might also need a bit of research. What do you think?

T: Yeah, there are a lot of possibilities.

K: The cheese would probably be good with alcohol. Cod Roe is perhaps wrong for it.

J: Im finishing the whole thing like normal, haha.

T: Kami, this tastes really good. It really does.

Kami: Im not eating it, so I can't comment.

J: ???*5

K: Hm, yeh, but cheese definitely works.

T: Mm, this might be a thing, its the first time I've made it so...

K: It might work with Curls (カール) instead of Umaibo too.

J: Oh, yeah, it probably would.

T: Yes, they might go well with this.

J: But if using Umaibo..

K: Yeh, cheese, if you go with umaibo.

J: Uh, corn soup wasn't too bad.

T: Yeah.

J: Its similar to cheese. Kinda cream cheesy.

K: Yeh, cod roe wasn't right for it. It was too sweet.

T: The cod roe flavour umaibo is suprisingly sweet, isn't it?

J: Well, this was quite intriguing.

T: Should we do another one of these food combo plans?

K: Yeah, I kinda want to. The viewers could tell us their suggestions in the comments, and we could try some of them.

J: I wanna try them and decide on the best ones.

T: Yeah...What, so this is the preliminary best one?

J: Well, yeah, thats the best so far, out of these. And then when we find the final best, we could do a kind of dinner show.

T: Haha, can't you see this food?

J: I can.

K: It looks kinda messy. But it does taste good.

T: Yeah, the cheese.

J: We could eat the winning dish at a 'The Freedom of Expression Dinner Show', while listening to the other submissions. Like, 'This one?'

K: That would be good.

J: Haha

K: Well, anyway, I'd like to do another food combo show sometime, so please submit your ideas. Uh, ok, whoever is chosen can get one of the stickers we made for the radio show.

J: Lets do that.

T: Its sounds good.

K: So, by all means, please apply. Thank you very much.

*On screen note: Next time on the 5th of May, we will show the Kami produced Avatar video for Dir en grey's new single 'Oboro'.*

*1,2,3,4,5 Couldn't catch.

To top page To Part 1

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #translation

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irepookie · 6 years ago

Text

Infinity Chapter 4-

Meet The Family (PT.1)

Summary: QUEEN AU where Rog (aka Rowan Queen) is a young single dad struggling to make it into music industry.

Warnings: not really. Just fluff, sappiness and swearwords here and there

Disclaimer: I don't own the pictures. The boys are based on Queen, but Piper, Gina and Callie are mine

John: Rick Lincoln (Cause he is John Richard Deacon born on August 19th 1951™™™™™)

Brian: Terry Garrett (Cause my uncle used to have a black puddle named Terry and I had no choice)

Freddie: Len Mars (Yea I couldn't help myself)

Chapter 4- Row opens up with the boys about the raisin.

“I'm a dad”........

"Okay, let's... let's get over this again: A daughter?" Terry, the band's guitarist couldn't believe his ears.

"Yes, Terry. A daughter" Row repeated for the 19th time from the other side of the phone.

"A baby." Len said, taking another sip of his tequila.

"No, a 30 year old alpaca." Row said sarcastically. "Yes, a goddamn baby. Fucking gorgeous, just so you know"

"And you're gonna keep her." Rick, who had been quietly plunking his bass' strings, added. "Are you sure?"

"It's done. I've already kept her. And it's not like I'm rescuing a shelter dog. She's mine. Period."

"Sorry, was just trying to... Wrap my head around it"

To be honest, Row still couldn't quite believe it (that he was a father). Not even now, as he tried to convince his best friends while holding his girl with the other arm.

"And is your mom okay with it?" Terry asked

He scoffed, clutching his Lil raisin close at the thought "My mom has no say in this".

"But she knows" Rick said.

He sighed "Yes, she knows. And she was a bitch about it, okay? She can disown me for all I care". It's not like there was much to inherit, anyway.

There was a general sigh from his three best friends.

"And what are you gonna do?"

" 'bout what?"

"Um, I don't know, man. About School? Maybe about your life in general?"

"School ain't something I'm worrying about".

"What a surprise" Rick rolled his eyes.

"But you're still in the band right?" Len said

"Oh, of course. Of course. You guys are gonna be the only ones keeping me sane"

They chuckled

"But we ain't gonna babysit for you, huh?"

"As if you knew anything about babies"

"Well, the same as you." Terry said

"Just what I was saying: nothing at all" Row grinned

"Her future looks bright, then" Len half teased.

"Incandescent, in fact" Row could pretty much hear Terry's arched eyebrow.

The youngest member could only roll his eyes and try not to take it as an insult. He knew this was a lot to process all of a sudden and that in the inside, beyond the sarcasm and teasing, they were happy for him.

"Whatever, guys" he replied, as Pips began to frown. He sighed, knowing that meant smelly treat was on its way "Gotta go. By the way, she just told me she thinks you guys stink" he grinned, before hanging up.

The other three men exchanged a confused glance, and stayed in silence for a minute, until Len broke it:

"I say he'll go completely nuts in seven days".

"That long? Nah, I think less than 24 hours after they leave the hospital." Terry said

Len smirked "Bet?"

"I'm a bit tight at the moment, pal"

"Then not money. If I win, you'll be my model for the midterm design project. It's 30's fashion. For ladies, of course".

"Ok. But if I win you'll do my chores for a whole weeks."

"A whole week?!"

"Seven days, if you prefer it."

They shook hands "Deal. Rick? Join us?"

"I actually rather believe that they'll be alright" Rick got up and stretched.

"Well of course they will. Eventually. Row always figures things out." T said

"The fun part is to watch him go crazy in the meantime" Len chuckled "Like when he first moved in and left a fork in the plate when first using the microwave"

They laughed, remembering how their friend had called them at 9 PM in panic, screaming the microwave had exploded.

"Let's just hope for the best. I mean he seemed quite sure of himself this time. And who knows, maybe being a dad is the best way to grow up." Rick defended

"Yea, well a bit radical, don't you think?" Len said

"Like sock therapy. If smokers quit when diagnosed with lung cancer, maybe Row settles down now he has a baby"

"I just still don't get why he didn't just put her in adoption" T said

Rick shrugged "Would you if you were in his shoes?"

"Absolutely"

"That's exactly how Row would've answered, say, a week ago. That's what we all answer. Until it really happens. I think it's one of those situations where you can't really picture until you live it."

"But this is Rowan Queen we're talking about. Rowan <<Made out with both Jones Twins at the same party Cause I didn't remember which was which>> Queen. I mean, he does know that a kid is gonna freeze his sex life for indefinite time, right? What the hell was going through his head?" Terry said

"I can't believe you think that." Len interjected "I mean, I'm the one who's never gonna be a dad here, and the one who failed biology, but even I get it. He met her right? Before any decision was made, he met her. Once you meet your kid, you're tangled up forever. And you might think you're not but if you give them away you'll never get rid of a feeling of remorse."

"Wow, Lenny, that was deep"

"Yea, where'd you get that from?"

"Just common sense."

"Funny, considering you're the one who's started the bet" Rick grinned

"One thing doesn't prevent the other. And out of the two of us, I'm the optimistic! He gave him one day, I gave him seven! I trust him"

"Well I'm not sure if I do. I mean, I love him, he's a great guy, a great musician, and everything else, but he's not reliable. Remember his first job as a waiter? I'm still waiting for the fish and chips I ordered last April"

The other two chuckled "I once lent him a t-shirt, and I swear I saw Liz Michael's wearing it" Len said

"See what I mean?"

"Yes, well, we can't do anything about it, T. It's his life"

"But this affects us too, one way or another. This affects the band. And he didn't even consult us"

"Well what did you expect him to do? Call and go <<Hey guys, are you fine with me having a daughter? No? Okay, just checking. Bye>>?" Rick imitated a phone with his hand, doing a decent impression of their friend's high voice.

"A head's up would have been nice"

"Terry, just chill for fucks shake. I mean, this is unexpected, but Row's our best friend, our brother, and we have to support him. Because, if he's a dad, that's makes us her uncle's. And it'll be fun having a little niece we can spoil" Len smiled at the idea.

"Spoil? With what money?" Terry, always realistic, put his hands on his hips

"With the upcoming tour's, of course darlings" he twirled majestically around the room

"First, that's in four months" Rick reminded

"If it does happen at all"

They still had one last song to arrange And record. Plus, they didn't know how Row was gonna make it work now he had a baby. But nobody addressed that concern out loud.

"Oh don't be so goddamn negative, fellas! C'mon! We're uncle's! Row's made a very important, life-changing, mature decision, and we should be proud of him. So" he went to the fridge and returned with three beers "I say we toast for him and the lil Queenie"

The other two grinned and accepted the cans, opening them.

"Oh, I say we Split a fourth beer in his behalf, cause parents shouldn't drink while breastfeeding" Terry mocked, earning a laugh

"To the Queens" Rick raised his can "For our little bro to take this seriously and not fuck this kid up"

"To the Queens" Terry and Len crashed theirs as well.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Meanwhile, in the hospital...

"Goddamn it, raisin! How can someone so small produce so many colors of something so stinky?" Row exclaimed, holding his breath as he clipped the fresh nappy on his daughter "We only feed you milk! Like... Like white milk! How can you turn a white liquid into rainbow pudding? Holy shit" he held the dirty one at arms length and threw it in the bin "It's a damn good thing I love you, cause I won't do this for anyone else" he told her, lifting her up to his chest again before walking around the room

"You gonna be a good girl for me for the next eighteen years? Huh?" He kissed her chubby cheek "What am I saying? You're my daughter, of course you're gonna be a trouble maker. But we'll get along, you'll see. I ain't gonna be like my parents. Don't worry. I won't be a bloody pain in the ass like mom, and I will never ever do anything my old man did. That I can promise. But I gotta admit I do want you to be like Gina. Yea, she's a control freak sometimes, but let's face it: she's gotta be the strongest person I've ever met. You should've seen her kicking the bastard out the house. She took no shit."

He smiled somewhat proudly at the memory, and for a second forgot how mad he was at her for turning her back on them.

"You wanna be a badass gurl like her? Huh? Yes you do. Yes you do" he cooed, craning his neck so he could brush his nose with her little button one. Her fist chose to close around the nearest strands of blond hair on reach, which he found secretly adorable.

But a part of him did wish he had mom's support. After all, despite the rough patches through his teens, they had always had each other's back; through thick and thin. She had have to raise him all alone, and although he hadn't even begun with Pips, he already knew it hadn't been easy. She may be stern, and a bit inflexible when it came to negotiating allowance. She could come across as rude if you caught her in the wrong mood (which many neighbors had) but above all she was a good person and a good mother.

And looking back, he hadn't been such a great son. He could have been more responsible, less handful and more obedient. Less rebellious, too. He could have thanked her more often for the thousand things she did everyday. For the meals. For all the jobs she had taken to provide for the two of them. For the surprise birthday gift she had got him with the money she had been saving: a real drum kit. For helping him move out her house into that one room crappy appartement which would be Pip's home.

But still she had rejected Piper without a second thought, regardless of her anger towards him; Pips was her granddaughter, she had done nothing wrong and as her father, Row doubted he would ever forgive Gina.

He sighed, untangling the hand of his hair and bringing it to his lips "But you don't have to worry about all that. Just concentrate on staying strong and growing up. And I promise I'll focus all of me on being the best dad. That you'll never miss a mom cause you don't need one. You've got me and I swear I'll be enough. Even if I'm still young: I'll have it all more fresh won't I?" He grinned "You're the one person who's never judged me yet, and I don't wanna let you down"

That a was vow. And he was determined to keep it.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

This one goes to my mega-paragraphist @definitely-darcy who's got my engine going through the usual inspiration blocks, and who's reviews help me improve. She's made me believe in this fic, and encouraged me to keep going despite the one digit notes.

Xx- Pookie

#queen band #roger taylor #single dad! roger taylor #dad roger #brian may #Freddie Mercury #john deacon #queen fic #no smut just fluff #non romantic #Infinity fic #baby prune

11 notes · View notes

omglr · 6 years ago

Conversation

trollercoaster

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like socialism, feminism, and feminist.

You: hi

Stranger: Abortion is the literal definition of the slippery slope. First they say aborting a fetus is okay and them they move onto late term abortions and everyone is accepting it! Soon they’ll say aborting babies is okay and then say that a mother has the right to abort her teenage sons. Soon, they’ll be aborting all adult men because the end goal of feminism is genocide. That’s why I call them feminazis, because they literally advocate for eugenics and the murder of an oppressed group that gets blamed for everything (men)

You: ha

You: hey dude

Stranger: feminazis are cancer

Stranger: hi

Stranger: the war on masculinity is also a slippery slope

You: ha

Stranger: first destroy gender norms and patriarchy

Stranger: then they want to destroy men

You: dang you need some better boots boy

Stranger: feminists are our oppressors

You: like, these ideas aren't getting much traction with me

Stranger: are you a feminazi?

You: maybe you just live in a rainy hilly area

Stranger: shut up bitch

Stranger: im a man

You: yeah dude, it seems like you've got it rough

Stranger: why are feminists so mean?

Stranger: what did i ever do to them?

You: like, those are some wacky problems that aren't really hurting you

Stranger: yeah they are its a slippery slope

Stranger: they’re going to kill all of us

You: sliperry slopes are logical falacies boy

Stranger: no

Stranger: its the truth

Stranger: birth control is a gateway drug to murdering all men

You: dude, the world is collapsing cause of capitalism

You: not ladies

Stranger: lol are you a commie

You: yeah dude

You: and i hate nazis

Stranger: good for you. you should hate feminists

Stranger: they are literally fascists

You: ha

You: na dude, i'm like more into hating actual facists

Stranger: they are fascist, they want to take away our free speech

You: lol

Stranger: and they dont want our men to just be men

Stranger: feminazis are misandrists

You: you must be trollin boy

You: you sound histarical

Stranger: im not a troll

You: well that's just sad then

Stranger: and lol im hysterical?

Stranger: well you’re a woman

Stranger: so you’re even more hysterical

Stranger: are you on your period?

You: lol

You: yeah bro

Stranger: lol!

You: and you're the one raggin' on me

Stranger: you’re a man hater, all feminazis are

You: lol

Stranger: im just defending masculinity

You: its pretty offputing look honestly

You: you ever get head?

Stranger: no because i am a mgtow who doesnt need females in my life!

You: have you considered going your way into oncoming traffic?

Stranger: lol real men commit suicide the right way only girls attention whore like that

You: or joining the navy ?

Stranger: i once shot myself in the head

Stranger: twice

Stranger: didnt even die

You: tyler durden was gay

Stranger: lol @ all the girls who overdose or walk into traffic

Stranger: just looking for attention

Stranger: whos tyler durden?

You: yeah attentions seakers are pathetic

You: you're tyler durden

Stranger: no?

Stranger: im a real man

You: fight me then

Stranger: lol i dont hit women

Stranger: despite me being a mgtow i still care about chivalry

You: i'm not a woman

You: i'm you

Stranger: the f??

You: yeah b

You: i'm just a projection

You: of your inner desires

You: baby fight me

You: fight me

Stranger: no dude thats pretty gay

You: c'mon

You: just suck my tit then

You: c'mon baby

Stranger: wtf i thought you were a dude??

Stranger: are you a trap?

You: no b

You: i'm your mom

Stranger: because sometimes i want a trap to go my own way with

Stranger: just two bros except she looks kinda femme

You: be the trap you want to see in the world

Stranger: but she wont divorce rape me or get pregnant

You: i'll accept you my child

Stranger: no, im a masculine manly alpha as fuck dude!

You: yeah

You: bet you couldn't drink rubbing alcohol

You: you sound like a pussy my child

Stranger: bet you i can

Stranger: i’ll drink a bunch of rubbing alcohol right now

Stranger: prove it to you that im a real man

You: ok baby

You: then you'll fuck me?

Stranger: no, thats gay

You: its not gay i'm you mom

Stranger: you sound like a pussy fag

You: you speak to your mom with those fingers?

Stranger: beta white knight

Stranger: i fucked your mom

You: you finger bang your mom with that mouth?

You: c'mon girl

Stranger: shut up bitch

Stranger: i am not a girl!

You: do you believe in love?

Stranger: love is for incels, im a chad

You: cause i got something to say about it

Stranger: i pump and dump traps everyday

You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsVcUzP_O_8

Stranger: whats that

You: its a hot song

You: to fuck too

You: yeah

Stranger: i heard that song before

You: yeah

You: on the radio?

Stranger: idk where

You: when you were a baby?

Stranger: maybe

You: maybe baby

Stranger: i have a fucking awesome manly memory

You: but you were a kid once

Stranger: nah i was a man when i was 6

Stranger: alpha as fuckkk

You: and isn't that where it all started?

You: where did they touch you?

Stranger: i fucked my teacher when i was 11 lol

You: oh boy

Stranger: yeahhh

You: that was rape

Stranger: no

Stranger: she let me

You: yeah, no

You: she raped you

Stranger: lol a woman cant rape a man

You: that's rape of a minor

Stranger: and besides i liked it xd

You: stilll... she should go to jail

Stranger: men always love sex

You: and you should go to therapy

Stranger: lol its every dudes fantasy bro

You: you sound all fucked up my dude

Stranger: dude wtf??

You: yeah man

Stranger: im not fucked up you are

You: i'm not your mom

Stranger: why tf you support feminism?

You: i'm your friend

You: and i think you need helpo

You: like

You: professional help

You: this is serious

Stranger: i think we chatted before

You: oh probably

Stranger: you’re the really gullible guy who believed everything i said

You: oh totally

You: i must be

You: i believe it

You: i am just real gullable

Stranger: yes totally

You: cool

Stranger: so bro

Stranger: wanna have a barbecue

You: yeah boy

Stranger: hang out, do some bro stuff

You: i'll bring a six pack

Stranger: thanks bro

You: and give you the number of a therapist

Stranger: lol dudes dont need therapists

Stranger: we dont talk about our emotions like girls do!

You: we gotta work on your approach with the ladies man

Stranger: naaah im mgtow now

You: like, that was rough

You: dude, if this is your way

You: its not a good way

Stranger: yeah its a good way

You: it's not to late to deescelate

Stranger: independent free of women

Stranger: m g t o w

You: no man, you are a slave to women

You: you've given them all the power

Stranger: lol says the beta cuck on the plantation

Stranger: no bitch i dont give them power

You: man, you have

Stranger: i just ignore them bitches and gold diggers

Stranger: i fuck traps instead haha xd

You: to come off so hostile at every moment of your life

You: to deny yourself love

Stranger:

Stranger: im a fucking dude bro

Stranger: i aint denying myself love

Stranger: love is for pussy beta fags

You: its cause you dont wanna get hurt

Stranger: real men pump and dump

Stranger: redpilled as fuckkk

Stranger: men dont get hurt

Stranger: men dont cry

You: yeah dude

Stranger: we’re fucking amazing

You: i'm glad you are just trolling bro

Stranger: not a troll bro

You: cause this otherwise would be unhealthy

You: no you must be

You: cause otherwise it would be so so so sad

Stranger: but really its so fun to pretend to be a sensitive fragile dude

You: like what a sad creature

Stranger: i know right!

You: like god-damn gollem

You: with no ring

Stranger: i love doing this its like literally they get offended by everything

You: yeah

Stranger: men are really dumb

You: i'm surprised you didnt mention venezula

Stranger: oh righttt

Stranger: well the character im playing isnt a capitalist anyways

You: oh yeah?

You: what is he?

Stranger: feudalist :p

You: ha ha

Stranger: anyways i think im manlier than you and i finished my rubbing alcohol

You: that legit made me laugh

You: ok dude

Stranger: well you think im kidding

You: the feudalist part

Stranger: oh

You: ok, maybe call 911?

Stranger: well i wasnt going to admit to being a fascist after i told you feminazis are the real fascists

You: yeah, i mean, it wouldn't stop a nazi

You: probalby

You: "like, feminists are nazis, but also like... i support the kkk"

You: anyway, you ever listen to riot girl music?

Stranger: no not really

You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKAtmRhsF30

You: oh wait

You: this isn't it

You: ....

Stranger: true tho

Stranger: what even??

You: https://krecs.bandcamp.com/track/all-women-are-bitches

You: there we are

You: i don't know what was up with that first one

You: anyway, Fifth Column was pretty cool

Stranger: oh

Stranger: not really my type of music tbh

You: fair enough

You: what kind of music you like?

Stranger: idk honestly

You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3V1SKM0uVo

You: here's a weird scifi mashup album

You: with a robot socialist agenda i think

Stranger: im not a socialist haha

Stranger: or even anti-capitalist at all

You: i mean, its hard not to buy in

You: in for a penny, in for a pound

Stranger: nice try but im not going to become a commie

You: idk, i mean you say that now

You: but someday you might have to renounce your ways

Stranger: im pretty content being a class traitor, thanks tho

You: lol

Stranger: i love licking the boots of female ceos just as much as male ones :)

You: good for you

You: i mean, after the revolution we'll all have boots

You: and we can take turns

Stranger: no thx boots are oppressive

You: no dude they got good grips

You: to prevent slippery slopes

Stranger: literally foot binding and patriarchy in disguise

Stranger: lol

You: oh, i see what your into now

Stranger: boots are just heels under a different name

You: bondage and heals

Stranger: ?

You: they'll have bdsm after the revolution

Stranger: im not into bdsm haha

You: why not?

Stranger: because bdsm is inherently oppressive to women

You: you're so normy

Stranger: reinforces misogynistic stereotypes

Stranger: ikr

Stranger: patriarchy literally

You: women on top

Stranger: no, thats still misogyny

You: matriarchy

Stranger: but honestly

Stranger: men who have that fetish are honestly sooo misogynistic

You: yeah

Stranger: puttig women on a pedestal isnt any better

Stranger: bdsm is misogynistic

You: and like often into cops and normy shit

Stranger: no revolution

Stranger: i love cops

You: ha

Stranger: they protect and serve us 💕

Stranger: buuuutt

Stranger: 50% of cops should be female

You: thats what your sub should be doing

Stranger: sub?

You: your submissive man servant

Stranger: i dont have one

You: never too late

Stranger: thats pretty gay tbh

You: he give good head

You: and does the dishes

You: and he's there by choice

Stranger: lol matriarchy and gynocentricity

Stranger: feminazis r oppressin men

You: in your case its a gaytriarchy

Stranger: im a girl

You: oh yeah?

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: im not like other girls

You: you a swerf?

Stranger: yeah i think sex workers rights are dumb

You: gross

Stranger: they should be sex slaves

You: double gross

Stranger: swerf and terf

You: gross x infinity

Stranger: grossssss

You: so what brought you to these terrible opinions?

Stranger: well i watch fox news

You: no further info required

Stranger: :)

You: you watch the OA?

Stranger: whats that

You: netflix show

Stranger: nope

You: its pretty good

Stranger: ehhh not my type of show

You: there are men in it

Stranger: gross

You: they go there own way

Stranger: that sounds nice actually

You: yeah

Stranger: i wish all men would go their own way

You: wish they would leave faster

Stranger: is it wrong to want all men dead?

You: if you are pulling the trigger probably

You: but if its like an accident

Stranger: no, i mean like i want them to just conveniently disappear

You: yeah

You: that sounds normal

You: but also, don't we all have little secret prayers

You: for a goddess to strike our enemies down

Stranger: its pretty late

Stranger: i should probably get going

You: yeah

You: ok, have a good sleep

Stranger: good night!

You: :)

Stranger has disconnected.

0 notes

punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: 💕 Janis: feeling the love 'cos corporate making ya, hey? Janis: how many holiday drinks you made today Jimmy: feels like billions Jimmy: not the kinda wrist action to be #buzzing about Janis: here's hoping you working commission lad Janis: is any? 🤔 #hotdatewithjane Jimmy: Tam's been in and out all day earning you those kicks you desire Jimmy: #notsosecretadmirer Jimmy: can't stay away on this special day Janis: Christ, you'd think she wouldn't wanna be seen DEAD outside her house, single, on this most sacred day Janis: gotta be stringing her along with lingering just a little too long when handing over the caffeine, good job babe 👏 Janis: think Grace is lowkey in hiding Janis: too late to even frantically swipe right on tinder now ladies Jimmy: Tell her Bobby'll be round Jimmy: He would if date night wasn't past his bedtime like Janis: 😂 bless Janis: all got our cross to bear, kid Janis: can't get my date out without a leash and promises of treats 🤷 Jimmy: Speaking of bitches, I seen Mia's timed her latest for the stockholm syndrome to kick in right on time Janis: look, i know you're bitter 'cos i've chucked you for better but don't bad mouth the bae, ok? Janis: forreal tho, they have schedules, like clockwork Janis: a new man for every occasion, this one won't last 'til her bday Jimmy: Keeping my hands where Tams can't see or cuff 'em Janis: 😏 tmi Janis: and unhygienic to boot, you serve lattes with those hands Jimmy: filthy 🧠 Jimmy: it's the company you keep Jimmy: Twix's gone from trying to shit in my dad's shoes to humping 'em Janis: whoa now, i didn't teach her that Janis: but think about it, from a scatological foot fetish to just a bit of vanilla pre-teen humping of inanimate objects Janis: it IS a step in the right direction Jimmy: But you are about treating 'em mean to keep 'em keen Janis: Your kicks are safe, dun' worry Janis: if she's taught me anything, not the way into the good books 😇 Jimmy: If you wanna aim for my work shoes I won't complain Jimmy: A day off is a day off Jimmy: Warn me first though, unless you're into those kind of surprises Janis: Best not to be seen with each other today Janis: don't wanna give everyone the wrong idea Janis: but nice try, you'll have to stick to burning yaself and the like if you wanna bunk Jimmy: Tammy's bound to help me with that Jimmy: #likeagiraffeonice Janis: She's beauty, she's graces Janis: wants you to cum all over her face Jimmy: fingers crossed she'll melt mine off first Jimmy: Better with that Janis: fair Janis: no way you've got the reach Jimmy: 💕 #whenbaebelievesinyou Janis: what, you want me to offer help with target practice? Janis: nice try dickhead 😜 Jimmy: Romance isn't dead there's the proof Jimmy: What are you doing today, aside from belly rubs for the bae Janis: gotta do something, don't I? feel bad like Janis: slayed the gift game and I really phoned it in so obvs gotta give out those sexual favours Janis: nowt though, trying to avoid seeing all the lovey-dovey couples making me wanna vom Janis: letting Tam work her magic in peace 😘 welcome like Jimmy: 💔🐶🎻 Jimmy: Making drinks with my eyes closed 'cause same Jimmy: Crack on Tam #tallgirlsneedlovetoo Janis: any barista will do 🎶 Janis: wanna hang when the madness is over Jimmy: The way this queue is going there isn't gonna be goodies left to bring you Jimmy: But I'm sweet enough😎 Jimmy: So yeah Janis: Bummer Janis: guess I can't kick you outta bed for that alone Janis: let you tot up negatives throughout the day, standard Jimmy: Got a pen behind my ear Jimmy: Come at me Janis: never could resist a challenge Janis: 🙄 walked into that one Janis: can we do something not shit Janis: don't need to see you slurping down spaghetti lady and the tramp stylee Jimmy: 💔 I'll shoo away all the strays I've gathered Jimmy: Only one dog for you like Jimmy: But of course that's how we stay goals Jimmy: any old shit won't do 💪🏆 Janis: 🎻 Janis: okay good Janis: play your cards right and get it right Janis: i'll spring for the motel 😉 Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: for once i'll be rooting for you Janis: my parents are unbearable at the best of times Janis: 🤢 Janis: actually cannot deal Jimmy: My dad and his girlfriend are still early days enough that they can bear to be in the same room Jimmy: I won't fail Janis: oh the honeymoon period Janis: disgusting Janis: thank god we got that out of the way with a fake relationship so you know my true feelings 😏 Jimmy: yeah thanks mate Jimmy: 👍 Janis: welcome, buddy o' pal o' mine Jimmy: Done Jimmy: I've worked it out Janis: taking a particularly difficult shit? Janis: again, don't need these intimate updates honey Janis: not #goals Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: No, what's goals is what we're gonna do, babe 😏 Jimmy: Keeping you outta the house 'til there's no cringe factor left Janis: Ahh Janis: colour me intrigued Jimothy Janis: what's the dress code? Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: Nothing Tam would be seen dead in Janis: Alright, no body con that shows all my worst bits, gotcha Janis: do I get ANY clues? Curious 🙀 right here Jimmy: You might just make yourself a new bae Jimmy: But pace yourself mate Janis: 😳 Janis: i don't own any PVC clothing, you know that, yeah? Jimmy: I do now 🎻 Janis: 😂 can literally hear Gracie in my head asking me what i'm like rn Janis: letting ya man down on vday Janis: honestly Jimmy: when one twin's a giver and the other's a taker 😂 Janis: tbf, we BOTH told you you'd got the wrong one but Janis: cloth ears you Jimmy: Down for the challenge Jimmy: Too late to not be a stubborn dickhead, me Janis: looks like we're both stuck then, lad Jimmy: there's that #realtalk mate Janis: can't say we didn't both give it a fair go Janis: #longdistanceloveinskerries #teenagerunaway Jimmy: You'll always have Twix 💕 Janis: gotta have someone to rely on init Jimmy: #tea Janis: #scaldedagain #jobhazard Jimmy: [Sends a selfie of an actual burn/on the job hazard] Jimmy: Stuff of fantasies that Janis: Poor baby! Has Tam not offered to 💋 it better? Janis: #slacking Jimmy: She's got her 👀 a bit lower down Jimmy: I'm just a piece of 🍖 Jimmy: The real hazard Janis: start a # about it Janis: 'cos can't blame her Janis: part of the problem, truly Jimmy: Will do Janis: being all distracting there with your apron and that Janis: asking for it Jimmy: I thought it was the shoes Jimmy: Sexy from head to toe like Jimmy: 🐶💗 Janis: 😋 something certainly got tongues n tails wagging Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: The company I keep, I think 😉 Janis: valid, the bitches love me 😍 Jimmy: Alright, save it for the 'gram Jimmy: #humblebrag Janis: Twix is a busy lady, only got you scheduled in so far Janis: guess the fans will have to make do with your mug 😜 Jimmy: unlucky lads and lasses Janis: they love it Janis: 'til some other cunt is unlucky enough to be enrolled in our school, you're gonna stay flavour of the month 🍦 Jimmy: 💪🥇 Janis: meanwhile, i gotta wait 'til the next fam scandal 'til I'm relevant again Janis: such is life Janis: not that its ever THAT long 🙄 Jimmy: Whip up some fake drama for you to hide in if you want Jimmy: Crack 'em out with the lattes Janis: I don't doubt you're capable Janis: just getting over sinkgate 😏 Mr. Lucas never will 😉 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: He's one of the only dickheads who hasn't been in today Jimmy: Still time 🤞 Janis: think a milky earl grey is his shout Janis: get it ready, really impress him Janis: more than you did, obvs Jimmy: The coffee breath and forehead vein says espresso though 🤔 Jimmy: Man o mystery Janis: 🤤 Janis: so hot Jimmy: More competition is it? Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: Using you as a ploy to get him hot under that starched collar all along Janis: soz babes 😘 Jimmy: I should've known your real goal was to get under that lumpy jumper Janis: 😂 Janis: know he's got the goods under it Jimmy: Can't fight the feeling Janis: s'a real shame the hottest female teacher we've got is that TA with the wonky fringe and clompy shoes Janis: who you got your sights set on next? Jimmy: always been about a wonky fringe meself Jimmy: Clompy shoes are a massive bonus when Twix is being a mad bitch underfoot too like Janis: draw the line there pal Janis: gotta get the dog in the divorce like Janis: not letting that hipster bitch anywhere near Jimmy: 🥊 Jimmy: going down swinging Janis: if she doesn't scream cat lady as is, she's defs into weird pets like fucking Janis: stick insects Janis: hope you're soooo happy together like 🖕 not even mad Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: nice to have your blessing, mate Jimmy: be my best man on the day Janis: literally fuck off Janis: only just got rid of the lesbian rumours and you wanna put me in a suit WHILST friendzoning me Janis: nah 😤 Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: found a challenge she won't accept Janis: only way i'm showing up is if you invite all your exes and put us on a table so we can chat mad shit on you Janis: be a man about it, boy Jimmy: card table at the back, couple of chairs so you can place your bets 👍 Janis: more like it Janis: hook up with your actual best man Janis: pure spite and alcohol fuelling me Jimmy: It'd probs be Cass so best not Jimmy: no good for the rep Janis: 😡 Janis: same tho, if i ever got hitched (ignoring the unlikeliness of that) i'd have to hit up the sibs for those bridesmaids and ting Janis: least my fam is good for numbers if not company like Jimmy: Grace has used her twin senses and is moodboarding somewhere rn Jimmy: Unlucky Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: vietnam flashbacks rn Janis: you know how many fake weddings of hers i've attended Jimmy: I can imagine Jimmy: And am Jimmy: Cute 😂 Janis: Fuck off Janis: shame your dad don't wanna be bffs Janis: can't hit him up for embarrassing pics and stories to use against you Jimmy: Another win to my name Janis: 🖕 Janis: sincerely hope you get a beverage thrown in ur face Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Wish you'da got me some earplugs Jimmy: Come on over mate, I've got loads Jimmy: #whenyourdadisdating Janis: literally Janis: at least you know its the same woman to avoid when she runs to the bog to clean herself up Janis: Pablo already on 2nd of the day Janis: Need a way to let 'em know Jimmy: Gotta have a sleepover with your real bae Jimmy: Twix'll sort 'em Jimmy: Sticking her nose in, literally like Janis: Oh that sweet curious girl Janis: some things she never need see 🙈 Jimmy: #nosybitchproblems Janis: getting dirt on enemy #1 anyway she can Janis: those bribe bones coming her way Jimmy: Happy v-day to her Janis: Maybe you and wonky fringe can have a fuck-off Janis: bet she's a right goer when you get the hair down and glasses off like Jimmy: Invite you and Mr Lucas for the post shag debrief Jimmy: Give you a /10 Janis: Naturally Janis: so curious to know how I rank 😒 Jimmy: Always a 10 with Twix Janis: 🙌 Janis: that'll help with the rep Jimmy: Me and Killer'll take the heat off with our new relationship shine Janis: yeah it loves you Janis: daft fucking dog Jimmy: Pity I can't turn the 💕 into 💰 Jimmy: Loads of lattes no will to keep slinging 'em Janis: Looking for a career change? Janis: fame getting too real? Jimmy: Got me looking like a deer in the headlights Jimmy: Tammy's livid Jimmy: There can only be one Janis: 'bout to be a bloodbath in CG Jimmy: Place your bets, mate Janis: hmm Janis: Tams got the reach like but reckon she's mostly talk n neck Janis: nan's not been in has she? 😉 Jimmy: She's serving me that 💔 while I crane my own neck looking out for her all day long Jimmy: no sign yet Janis: Gutted Janis: even she's feeling the lurve today Janis: literally no place to go Janis: so tragic Jimmy: About to eat my feelings like a proper flat white squad member Jimmy: Speaking of feeling that l.u.r.v.e did you hear how many cards Cass got sent? Jimmy: 7 Janis: WHAT Janis: get it gurl but also fuck off lads she's too lil Jimmy: walking about like its nowt Jimmy: 😎 Janis: thank god Janis: no one needs that ego boost Janis: fuming tbh Jimmy: Bobs made one at school Jimmy: guess who for Janis: Aww, bless him Janis: she does need that boost Janis: he gonna hand-deliver? Jimmy: He's insisting Jimmy: So be about Jimmy: You got one too Jimmy: moving in on my lass Janis: we in, have to kick the empty ice cream cartons out the way like but find us in front of bridget jones or similar Janis: i'm honoured like 😊 Jimmy: Yours is bigger but hers has more glitter Jimmy: Can't call a winner Janis: size matters Janis: #facts Janis: soz Gracie, gotta fight you or you'll get too comfy Jimmy: Just don't let her vlog it Jimmy: Don't need porno style #s going viral Janis: MY TWIN ATTACKED ME!?!?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT) Jimmy: Haters, on this sacred day Jimmy: #savage Janis: Glad to keep her in #content Janis: who's the real ⭐ baby Jimmy: 🤩 Jimmy: Better than 💝 chocs Janis: the calories! 😱 Jimmy: who needs food when you can exist on ☕ and even hotter goss 💋 Janis: diet of champions that 🙄 Janis: mia be bullshitting them that she doesn't run on sheer cuntiness Jimmy: Mia? A bullshitter? 😲 Jimmy: Nope Janis: awks 😕 Janis: did you think you was forever? Jimmy: she was my fucking cinnamon apple Janis: 😂 Janis: at least i've got an excuse to fight her again Janis: try not to get in the way this time Jimmy: Will do Jimmy: 2nd rule of fight club, get out the way dickhead Janis: brad pitt in that film Janis: mwah 💋👌 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I got no retort because Helena, not the one like Janis: crazy bitch not your type, eh? Janis: think the masses would have to disagree 😏 Jimmy: Start a # or I'm not listening, sorry everyone Janis: he's a modern man Jimmy: 💪😎 Janis: wonder if anyone will get pregnant tonight Janis: wanna make a bet? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll put today's wage on it Jimmy: No tips Jimmy: Need them for our big 💕 plans Janis: alright, you're on Janis: here's hoping its only the tip for all the other lads like Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Walked into that one Janis: 💁 Janis: shame we're not a hardcore catholic school #upthebuttforjesus Jimmy: I'd have to pray meself if I'd made a bet under them conditions Janis: what can i say? just like me, showing faith in our peers Janis: ur so negative, babe Janis: like dem tests 🤞 Jimmy: don't need to be an optimist to wait for those positives Janis: we'll see Jimmy: what to I get when I win this one Jimmy: quite a streak now babe 😏 Janis: 😣 Janis: on the off chance you manage to scrape a win Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: Escape route for longer than a night for starters Jimmy: Lovebirds doing my head in Jimmy: I'm thinking a weekend break that isn't #cursed like Janis: Always down for running Janis: up for it not being away from you this time 😉 Janis: bringing the kiddos or? Jimmy: Depends if they kick off Jimmy: Got time to work on bribes Jimmy: Dad's Valerie might wanna play happy families 😒 Janis: 😬 Janis: that'll be fun Janis: can't have you dealing with that Janis: at least their tales of woe whilst you were gone will be packed with that #scandal and #drama Jimmy: might be easier to take 'em amount of SOS's we'd get Jimmy: Cass blowing up both our phones before we're out the door Jimmy: fuck knows Janis: Eithers cool Janis: just leave the hardcore whips n chains at home like Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Alright done Jimmy: If we stick 'em on their own does that make us the mccanns Janis: not if we don't drug 'em Janis: stick to sweets and other such bribes and we'll be alright Jimmy: Gonna be enough of a plan getting there without adding a murder cover up Janis: honestly Janis: not on the agenda Janis: not a nice pretty white doctor like, never getting away with it Jimmy: not the 💕 american films'd have you believe either I reckon Jimmy: Surrounded by a cloud of smoke already cheers don't need a hail of bullets Janis: yeah if #blacklivesmatter taught us anything Janis: not the ideal way to spend a weekend Janis: also, still creasing at her name Janis: such middle aged hot piece of ass vibes Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: definitely can't promise you any of that Jimmy: but if you win, I'll 🚭 and hopefully run like less of a middle aged dickhead with a dad bod Jimmy: less of an evidence trail an' all Jimmy: win win Janis: whoa, that's awful big talk from the resident chimney Janis: you are sure you're gonna win 😉 Janis: but i accept the full Ts and Cs Janis: you should train with me Janis: not just an excuse to 👀 the dad bod Jimmy: Deal done then Jimmy: Trying to see me in my short shorts Jimmy: You'll have to catch me first like Janis: wouldn't even be fair to make it a competition like Jimmy: If you're too shit scared, mate Janis: just curious why you wanna lose so bad Janis: thinking you might love what punishment i have in mind? Jimmy: Wondering what it feels like 'cause it never happens Jimmy: You seem to be about it with all your repeats Janis: I'm going to enjoy making you suffer Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Gonna start a club with Mr Lucas? Janis: any time i get to spend with him like Janis: not like I wanna think up new cruel and unusual ways to get you but Janis: needs must Jimmy: 💕 cute Jimmy: I'd tell him to get his 🎻 out but we know what those hands are busy doing Janis: eurgh 😂 too far Janis: my 'rents reckon he's an actual predator, like, there are stories Janis: do not wanna commit so hard to this bit that I become his next victim forreal Jimmy: Not gonna happen babe 💪😎🐶 Jimmy: Squad got you covered Janis: My heroes 😍 Jimmy: If Twix isn't up to it my bae'll come through Jimmy: Named for it literally Janis: Reckon that was the idea Janis: or they were being ironic with it Janis: #sojokes Jimmy: either way I'll knock him out before its a drama Jimmy: as long as you don't get in my way naturally Janis: don't worry, got the sense I was born with 😜 Janis: dickhead Jimmy: Lucky you were born with it Jimmy: Some of us have neither Janis: 🎻 Janis: so what part of pretty woman you looking to recreate this time Janis: what's your artistic vision? 😏 Jimmy: I haven't seen it Jimmy: Bound to be an aesthetic montage though, isn't there? Janis: don't let my sister hear you Janis: roped into GIRLS NIGHT! before you know it Jimmy: Get the popcorn in Gracie, mine's salted Jimmy: Shout you a diet something if you keep the noise down, hun Janis: #romanticvdaynightplans Janis: i get why she got confused, you have #boundaryissues mate 😂 Jimmy: Living up to that dating a twin stereotype Jimmy: The people in my comment section DEMAND it, alright? Jimmy: #gottagiveemwhattheywant Janis: Nah, bitch, you can only play that if we're identical Janis: its not like whoops thought it was u Janis: on ANY level 😤 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Oh shit the boss is the embodiment of that emoji Jimmy: Yours not mine Jimmy: Gonna have to get a room Jimmy: Ban him, that's not how I'm earning employee of the month perks, sorry lad Janis: Convenient 😒 Janis: lemme catch u in her inbox boi 🥊 Janis: jk, get to work slacker, catch you in a mo Jimmy: 🐊 Jimmy: In a bit 💕 Janis: 🖤

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