#and he said the brightness in ur eyes decreased…..

[loverofallthingssmart]

sickening how much my eyes have changed in only a year

[totalfknloser]

zakk x reader but enemies to lovers perchance ...

headcanon format maybe ... like maybe abt how zakk & reader became enemies in the first place, zakk realising he was actually starting to like reader, zakk realising he was actually starting to LOVE reader,, yada yada ya .. you could even mix some smut in there if you wanted to like a hate fuck or something like that 🤞🤞

once again thank youuu so much and no worries if you cant fit everything i suggested in those are just some loose ideas that i like !! but i'm curious to see what you think 🫶 love ur writing thank you again

SORRY THID TOOK ME FOREVER! also oh my gosh i was writing some enemies to lovers shit but i felt like it was too gooey and sweet so i just made up this weird situation 😭 HELP I HOPE ITS OKAY!! also this is a very odd and unusual scenario LMAO but i felt like it fit better than enemies to lovers like more…. idk in script? SORRY THIS TOOK AO SO LONG OMFGGGFF

.<⛧ ^.♡.^⛧>.

⛧ okay so like you’re friends with Brodie and you met after Zakk and Brodie met each other and you’re starting to get closer to each other than Zakk originally is with Brodie and that pisses Zakk off

⛧ one day Brodie invites the both of you to hang out together with him and you are hesitant cause you weren’t really a fan of Zakk with the way he acted towards you constantly but you said yes just for Brodie.

⛧ Zakk was like.. totally an ass. as hot as he was, he was mean. he made mean comments to you under his breath and shit like that but that didn’t decrease your slight attraction for him. the attraction he had growing for you came less soon but came to be as strong as ever. you both absolutely couldn’t deny the feelings for each other but you hid it very well.

⛧ Brodie continued to invite the both of you to be all together, but that didn’t stop the mutual dislike and that mutual dislike absolutely did not stop the heated sexual tension that started to grow.

⛧ more and more hanging out created more sexual tension as i’ve said many times, but it also created a little romantic attraction that started to grow even bigger. one day you guys were at Zakk’s and Brodie left, which was unusual cause you were usually the first to leave. you guessed he just had something to do.

⛧ you were getting ready to leave when Zakk was like “Wanna fuck?” blunt and brutal. and you paused and then were like “Excuse me?” you said, lips parted and eyes squinted into confusion. you thought you misheard him till he asked again. you paused, thinking about a yes or no. you knew you wanted to but you were so.. shocked? “Uh, sure. When?” you stated, face red with a sigh.

⛧ your face was bright red and your body was heated while making out with Zakk. you were both already undressed and covered in love bites when he pulled away and asked the question. “You ready?” he whispered. “Yeah.” you whispered back. “Move.” he said, patting next to him. once you did as he asked, Zakk adjusted his position so that he was laying down, back to the bed.

⛧ you got on top of him, his thick cock prodding your hole as you were facing him. his hands traveled to you hips to help guide you down on him. you let out a sigh when the both of you gently pushed downwards, his hands gripping tighter and tighter on your hips and your sounds getting louder and louder as his hard cock pushed deeper.

⛧ once you finally pushed completely downwards, you had to have a second to adjust. Zakk was real thick and pretty long and he knew it, he was used to people having to wait a second before they or he could move.

⛧ you mumbled a soft “Fuck!” as you started to move, his dick stretching you out nicely. the pace was slow at first. your moans were loud and whiny when you finally picked up the pace, your skin smacking against both of yours as you rode him.

⛧ sweat was beading down both of your bodies as you both were overcome with bliss. his dick hitting all the right places inside of you sent pleasure through your body.

⛧ skin slapping, deep grunts from Zakk, and high pitched moans from you intoxicated the air. Zakk was griping tighter and tighter, leaving little purple bruises on your skin. his hands started to trail upwards on your body, pressing and rubbing at your nipples which you let out a whine in response.

⛧ when you both were getting close to your release, the both of your sounds started to be more desperate. the sound of skin smacking only got louder and loud as you bounced up and down faster on his dick, trying to cum as soon as possible. once you both finally got there you both moaned in pure pleasure, bodies intertwined together as you both shared this unforgettable memory.

⛧ once you pulled off and laid back on him, you started to realize these feelings of hate directed at the boy you were on top of, were feelings of love. of course you didn’t wanna tell Zakk that though. eventually you both drifted to sleep, holding each other in both arms.

⛧ after that night, the hate between the both of you faded entirely. the both of you couldn’t hide the love that showed for each other. a long time later of just talking and cuddles while Brodie wasn’t around, you asked the question the both of you have been waiting for. “Do you wanna like, go out sometime?” you whispered. “Yeah.” he replied.

⛧ you both love each other very very much and it never ends!!!!!!!!!!

.<⛧ ^.♡.^⛧>.

I AM. SO SORRY. THIS TOOK. ME SO. LONG DUDE. i could’ve wrote this in like idk 1 hour and i took over a day.. my sincerest apologies dawg also to the owner of this account i’m literally your biggest fan keep the asking coming man!! ALSO YOU CANT JUST SAY PERCHANCE!

[coffeily]

It's ok, Everthing is gonna be fine :)

Tw : Platonic Quackitywastaken,Quackity x Dream, mention of tutore, Out Of character, Gore, manipulation(?)

Conteks : Quackity has a mental break down and Dream comforting him like ur mom did when you are not yet a failure. (sorry, i had to)

Notes: This has been in my head since las night aka 3 in the morning. This is inspired by the anime scene of Komi-san season 2 episode 3.

Quackity comes to the prison in a bad mood. He had gone through many bad events in a row. he fights with his husbands, charlie dies and even more bad things continue to grow. He came with a torture tool and a netherite axe and gripped them until the knuckle turned white. He came to Dream's cell prison.

The slowly decreasing lava that only met Dream who was sitting pretty in the corner who seemed to be waiting for his arrival. his hair is long until it touches the cold floor (in a sitting position). he used to have dirty blond hair, now it's starting to turn a little white because of all the stress he's been through. The strong horn that he had always been proud of had disappeared cut off. His green eyes that had always been bright and and shone in the dark beautifully now looked dull and glowed in the dark horribly. Dream glanced his eyes at the face Quackity was in then closed his eyes and smiled gently. Quackity swears he's sick of seeing that smile

Quackity tells him to give him the revival book and as usual Dream refuses. As usual, he will do something fun with Dream. (duh, what kind of fun- 🔫 ).

this time his feelings were mixed with the emotions he had always been holding back. He vented all his sadness and anger to Dream who could only be silent and accept. he jerked Dream away and blamed all him misfortune on Dream. Quackity unknowingly burst into tears and suddenly froze. Dream who is seen now even smiles and holds his hand and the rest whose hand is holding his cheek. Dream smiled and wiped his tears then said comfort words. (Unconsciously Quackity removes the ax in his hand). Quackity, who wanted to get out of Dream's grasp, fell into a loving embrace that Dream gave him. (bro, u mean in platonic way or romantic way???)

Quackity had almost forgotten what it felt like to be hugged, he had almost fallen out of Dream's trap. Quackity had rebelled and wanted to leave Dream's arms, who only got a head stroke with rough and cold hands but felt soft and warm when stroking her head. "It's okay. Everything is fine. It's okay to cry and be sad. You deserve love". Dream's voice was different from isr usual voice, it was softer and made this cold and dark prison cell warm and bright. (Wait a minute, why did Dream become like my mom-). Dream continued to stroke Quackity's head and back and whispered comforting words in Quackity's ear softly.

Is it because he is a succubi?(HEH??) Is it because he ever had children? Is he trying to get me into his trap? Is he mocking me? Did he underestimate me? .

Quackity kept asking in his mind. Quackity protested for Dream to let him go who was just ignored and continued his affectionate action. Dream hums a song that makes Quackity almost devoured by his trap and fall asleep. Keyword Almost. As Quackity was about to fall asleep, Sam shouted his name and asked how he was. Quackity is silent for 1 full hour without sound (damn). Quackity, who was now fully conscious, immediately repulsed Dream and escaped Dream's trap. Quackity picks up his dropped ax and tools and leaves from Dream's prison cell with a flushed face.

[xxdragonwriterxx]

Pls do a pt.2 of cuddle bug. I need more where they get delayed and Levi has to share his tent for another night or two. Pls at least consider it, the end of cuddle bug gave me big boy 🦋🦋🦋

A/N: You know, I never really considered a sequel for this story but once you mentioned it, I got really excited about it! I loved writing that story so it’s always really fun to hear people say they enjoyed it. Thank you for requesting, I hope this is what you were looking for! (Also, ur comment inspired the title).

🐉 Song Recommendation: “Liar” By: Arcadian Wild 🐉

~~~

🔥 Butterflies Caught Up In The Storm 🔥

(Y/N) felt it before she saw it. She felt the wind pick up from a light breeze to an insistent gale. She saw the clouds rolling and colliding in the sky, darkening and growling. She heard the rush of wings as flocks of birds shot into the air and flew away from the trees, which were starting to rustle with the increasing wind. It was clear and bright out, a beautifully crisp autumn afternoon, but (Y/N) knew what was coming. Her horse seemed to agree, the chestnut mare’s flared nostrils and wide eyes telling (Y/N) she could sense it too. Giving the mare a soothing pat on the neck, (Y/N) carefully tugged her forward, trying to convince the beast to graze before the storm hit.

“You’re having trouble too?” A familiar feminine voice asked, catching (Y/N)’s attention.

“Yeah,” (Y/N) said, smiling at Petra, who had wandered over with her own bay gelding. “Phoenix won’t eat with this storm brewing, she’s too stressed. I’m trying to calm her down but she’s not having any of it.”

Petra nodded grimly, “Tyson is the same way. He won’t stop pacing.”

“It must be a bad one this time,” (Y/N) said quietly, reaching up to stroke Phoenix’s fur, “She doesn’t normally fear storms like this.”

“Yeah, I’m worried about our tents being blown away.”

“Me too…” (Y/N) murmured. “I’m guessing none of us are going to get any sleep tonight.”

Petra groaned and led Tyson in a small circle, trying to keep the normally level-headed gelding from pacing.

“Yeah, I know,” (Y/N) sighed. “I was really hoping to get some rest, it’s been a long day.”

(Y/N) normally didn’t have a problem with storms. In fact, she had a certain soft spot for them. She loved how dark it got, the clouds creating a gloomy yet comforting blanket over the land. She loved the sound of the rain as it pounded on the windows, the crack of the thunder as lightning struck the sky; a glowing sword slaying some mighty beast. She loved the wind and how it would howl it’s lonely song, crying out for a lover that would never respond. Despite the chaos it presented, storms always tended to soothe (Y/N), making her want to cuddle up with some warm tea or hot chocolate and a book. It made her want to burrow under a blanket and listen to the roaring outside her window as the storm lashed at the stone walls of the Survey Corps castle. But she wasn’t in her room with a warm blanket and a good book. She wasn’t protected by the solid stone walls of the Survey Corps headquarters or given warmth by the roaring fireplace she had across from her bed. She was outside of the walls, in the middle of nowhere with a skittish horse and nothing but a flaxen tent to keep her safe. The only benefit of  the storm was that the titans seemed to have scattered in the wake of the approaching darkness, finding some other place to settle down for the early onset night.

“Hey, at least we won’t have to sleep alone tonight,” Petra said, trying to lighten the mood. “At least we will be paired again since we lost that supply wagon to the titans, maybe it’ll feel better to experience the storm with another person. It might be comforting.”

Petra had a point, but her words also brought a twinge of anxiety to (Y/N)’s gut. Captain Levi hadn’t seemed upset with her when she had cuddled up to him by accident the last time they shared a tent, quite the opposite really, laughing and teasing her. But it didn’t stop the thoughts from filling her head, making her overthink the situation. He had found it amusing the first time because it had been unexpected and she had been so flustered in the morning when she had woken up to find him sprawled underneath her, but what would he think if she did it a second time? Would he be annoyed? She was half expecting him to reassign her to sleep beside Eld or Gunther at this point. She wondered if he would even be compelled to make Petra and Oulo sleep in separate tents despite their relationship, just so he could make (Y/N) sleep with Petra instead.

It made her flush with guilt and embarrassment at the thought. The last thing she wanted to do was make Levi uncomfortable around her, but she had invaded his personal space in a way she was sure nobody else had ever done before. It was only natural that he would distance himself from her.

(Y/N) shook her head, chasing the negative thoughts away, deciding to worry about that later. “Yeah, at least we won’t be alone. Maybe that’ll make it easier if the tents try to blow away, there can be two people to hold each one down instead of one person trying not to get carried off by the storm.”

Petra chuckled and led Tyson in another circle. 

“Speaking of sharing tents,” She said, her eyes glimmering, “How was it sharing a bed with the Captain?”

(Y/N) froze a bit. Memories of that night came flashing back, making her blush as she remembered the feeling of his solid chest pressed beneath her, his warm breath fanning out over her neck, and his soft silver eyes gleaming at her as he fought the urge to laugh at her flushed face.

“Oooooh,” Petra said, her smile widening as she noted (Y/N)’s pink cheeks. “Why are you so flustered all of a sudden? Did something happen? Did you two finally fu-”

“NO, NO,” (Y/N) shouted quickly, waving her hands in front of her face. “No, nothing like that. It was just kind of embarrassing sleeping next to him. I mean, he’s the Captain! It just felt weird as his subordinate to be in the same bed as him with nothing but our pajamas on.”

Petra nodded but the shit-eating grin on her face didn’t disappear. (Y/N) leaned over and flicked her friend on the forehead, giggling when the ginger hissed at her with a glare.

“What was that for?”

“You know what it was for.”

“That was mean, (Y/N).”

“Well, you shouldn’t have been thinking about Levi and I in that tent, especially since I told you nothing happened.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I would never do such a thing.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes at Petra’s teasing but couldn’t keep the warm smile off her lips as the two laughed together. She had to hand it to the sweet ginger, she had at least helped decrease her stress and pull (Y/N) from her own head. Even the horses had sensed the shift in their riders and had calmed down somewhat, Phoenix leaning down to take a few nibbles of the grass at her feet before she raised her head again, her ears rotating as she listened for any sign of danger.

“(L/N)! Ral! We are setting up the tents. Put the horses away and get over here now!”

Both women stopped laughing immediately and moved to tie the horses to a nearby tree, making sure to loop the ropes into loose knots so the horses could escape if they really needed to without injuring themselves. As soon as the animals were secure, (Y/N) shoved her anxiety away, and the pair made their way over to the rest of their squad.

__________________________

Levi cursed as he glanced at the darkened clouds, the sky now an inky black as the storm covered the setting sun. A light rain had started since the tents had been erected, but Levi knew the worst was yet to come. He watched as the squad moved around, tying down the last of the supplies and attending to any last minute necessities while the rain was still light and misty.

Without his permission, Levi’s eyes automatically found (Y/N) amongst his squad members, watching as she moved quickly around the camp, calming the horses and covering the wagons with the tarp they always brought on missions for exactly this reason. She was so graceful when she was focused, her movements lithe and quick. He knew she tended to be a bit of a clutz when she was just performing mundane tasks back at headquarters, but it didn’t take away from the obvious control she had over her body as she maneuvered around each of her comrades, helping where she could and confirming that everything was accounted for just as Levi had asked of her.

Snapping out of it, Levi quickly averted his gaze and cursed again, this time in anger at himself. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He had had a crush on (Y/N) for ages and yet it had never affected him like this before. He felt like he was flailing, like he lacked control for the first time since he was a small child. It scared him, made him embarrassed and anxious. He had an idea of what this was, but it didn’t make it any easier to digest.

He knew he had been an asshole lately, knew she was confused and hurt. When he had first woken up to find her sprawled over him, he had been overwhelmed with emotions that had pushed him over the edge, leading him to finally act on his hidden desires somewhat. He had allowed himself to laugh and smile, had allowed himself to get close to her, brush his lips along her ear, and compliment her. He had enjoyed it, letting go a little, letting himself finally show her how he felt about her. But then reality had slapped him across the face. She was his subordinate, and while it wasn’t forbidden, it wasn’t ideal. He just knew it would interfere with his focus on the battlefield, and he couldn’t afford the distraction. On the other hand, he didn’t even know if she liked him back. She had cuddled up to him in her sleep, but she had admitted to him herself that she does that to anything she sleeps with. Her pillow, a blanket, a stuffed animal, a person, it didn’t matter, she would cling to it. So what made him special? How did her cuddling him give him any indication of her feelings?

It didn’t. It didn’t mean anything. She wasn’t cuddling up to him because she found comfort in him, she did it because it was normal for her. Any other man would’ve done just as well, possibly even better in holding her close that night. The thought of another man cuddled up with (Y/N) made his blood boil and his teeth clench so hard they hurt, but he couldn’t force his feelings on her just because of one incident. Especially if she didn’t feel  the same way. It just wasn’t meant to be, no matter how much he wanted it. So he had settled for loving her from afar, pushing her away and keeping her at a distance, just like he did with everyone around him. He was determined to stick to his promise of keeping people at arm’s length, guarding his heart  through thick and thin in the event that someone he cares about gets ripped away from him again. He had lost way too many people in his life, he was not about to experience the pain of losing  (Y/N) too.

He could tell his cold behavior confused her, but he kept it up, hid behind his mask no matter how much his heart cried when he saw her hurt expression. It was for her and for him, better for everyone involved if he just ignored the pulling of his heartstrings and continued their relationship as it should be, as Captain and cadet.

“Captain.”

Levi was snapped out of his reverie by the voice of none other than (Y/N), her eyes hooded as she looked at him.

“Everything is stable and prepared for the storm, sir.”

“Good, you are dismissed.”

(Y/N) saluted him and spun on her heel, not looking back as she made her way to their tent to change and prepare for bed. Levi’s gut twisted. He hated that look in her eyes. So far, she had treated him with nothing but respect ever since he had begun ignoring her, but he never missed that look in her eyes, the confusion and disappointment in her gaze. The feeling of wanting to be sick all over the stones of the cliff edge where they had set up camp increased tenfold when he thought about having to spend the night with her once again. The thought of having to experience the tension of laying beside her all night. He wondered if she’d even cuddle up to him again, if her body would reject him even in sleep despite her habit.

Levi sighed and ran a hand through his slick raven locks, rain droplets landing on his cheeks as they dripped from his fringe. He knew he just had to act like an adult and go in there with her, but it was an effort to fight the feeling of nausea in his gut as he made his way over to the tent they were sharing. As soon as he slipped in through the flaps and zipped them closed, the loud roar of thunder rolled over them quickly followed by the intensifying of the rain, turning from the soft taps of droplets to the pelting of bullets.

(Y/N) was facing away from him when he entered, neatly folding her uniform and placing it off to the side while she waited for him to change. Levi undressed quickly and followed her example, placing his clothes beside hers as she settled on the cot, pulling the blankets up to her neck. Neither of them spoke a word, but the urge to spill everything that was on the edge of their tongues plagued both of them. Levi finished his nightly regimen before carefully slipping under the blanket beside (Y/N), blowing out the lantern and making sure to turn away from her so she wouldn’t feel as uncomfortable.

(Y/N) grit her teeth when she felt him turn away from her. Was she really that bothersome? Had her cuddling him really made him that upset? She knew she had no right to judge him, it was his boundaries she had crossed, but that didn’t stop the tidal wave of sadness and disappointment that rose in her chest. She had been hoping they could move past this, that he would give her the chance to apologize and they could go back to the way things were between them, but obviously he was in no hurry to speak to her ever again, if his behavior towards her was any indication.

(Y/N) closed her eyes and tried to let the sounds of the storm outside soothe her, snuggling deeper under the blankets as the rain slapped the tent’s walls, trying to drown out her thoughts and emotions with the sound of the rolling thunder that rumbled and barked overhead.

(Y/N) was nearly asleep, her brain finally quieting down for the night when she heard it. She thought for a minute she had imagined the noise, but after another moment of patiently listening, she heard it again, the sound of a deep groan coming from the Captain. (Y/N) froze, her eyes wide as she waited. She had no idea what was happening, but she knew for a fact it couldn’t be good. The noise sounded high-pitched, desperate, strained, as if the Captain were in pain. (Y/N) turned slightly and opened her mouth to say something when a bolt of lightning dashed across the sky, flashing the tent with a bright white light. (Y/N)’s eyes widened and she had to fight to keep her jaw from dropping when she suddenly realized just how uncomfortable he was.

 Levi was shaking.

What had she done? Thunder crashed as horror seeped into (Y/N)’s bones. She felt his shaking increase, the subtle vibrations making the cot twitch and shift beneath them. How could she have done this to him? What she had believed to be a mild annoyance to her Captain seemed to be much worse than that. At first, she wondered why he didn’t tell her about his discomfort with touch, or why he didn’t have her reassigned, but she quickly shoved those questions aside. Of course he didn’t tell her or reassign her, he was the Captain of their squad, the goddamn Humanity’s Strongest. Of course he would put his pride and reputation before his fears. It was his job to appear unfazed no matter what he was faced with.

And besides, even if it wasn’t his job to keep silent about his personal issues to his  subordinates, (Y/N) had a hard time seeing Levi admit to having a phobia of touch. He always  kept that mask placed securely over his emotions and expressions, it was no surprise that he would hide this as well.

The fact that she hadn’t known didn’t stop the feelings of dread and guilt from dragging her stomach to her feet and choking her heart with a chain. She felt the tears well up behind her eyes, and didn’t try to stop them when they spilled over her lids and cut wet paths down her cheeks. She felt sick. She wanted to apologize, but she didn’t know how. She was used to comforting people with physical affection and gentle soothing gestures rather than using her words. Every muscle in her body screamed at her to wrap her arms around him, to stroke his hair and rub soothing circles into his back, but she forced herself to hold back. She had clearly caused enough damage already.

Making up her mind, (Y/N) decided that the best option was to leave. She knew there was very little she could say or do to make up for what had happened, and she refused to keep him awake with the fear of her touching him again. The last thing she wanted to do was be away from him, especially when he seemed so vulnerable, but she wasn’t going to let herself cause unnecessary tension within the squad because she decided to be selfish. They needed their Captain in top shape, and it was clear that wasn’t going to happen with her in the same room. Quietly gathering her blanket and her cape, (Y/N) slowly stood and crept towards the exit flaps of their tent. She cringed at the thought of being sandwiched with the Oulo and Petra, but she knew the couple wouldn’t deny her entry despite wanting to enjoy their alone time together, and figured that would be the best place for her to stay for the rest of the night. Taking a deep breath to prepare for the onslaught of cold water she was about to get blasted with, (Y/N) curled her  fingers around the edges of the flaps and started to undo each loop keeping them closed.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Levi’s cold voice, despite being a bit shaky, made (Y/N) freeze in her tracks. She had known he was awake, but she hadn’t expected him to protest.

“Um, I’m going to Petra’s tent, sir.”

Levi furrowed his brows, his jaw clenched, “Why?”

“Because I was making you uncomfortable, sir.”

“What are you talking about?”

The last thing (Y/N) wanted to do was embarrass him further, but she figured now wasn’t the time to beat around the bush.

“You were shaking, sir.”

(Y/N) saw the realization quickly flash across Levi’s features before he scowled angrily, leaning back with an arm over his face, “Fuck…”

He hadn’t known that she could feel it. He had been trying so damn hard to hide it, especially after those little groans had escaped him without warning. The knowledge that she was here to see him in such a vulnerable state tossed his heart around like a butterfly in a storm, a confusing blend of intense embarrassment and soothing comfort flooding through his veins.

“I wish you had told me sooner,” (Y/N) said, causing Levi to lift his arm so he could look at her properly. “I know why you didn’t, but if you had, I never would’ve tried to stay with you for another night. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, and the last thing I want is for you to think you have to avoid me because I didn’t respect your boundaries. I am s-so sorry…”

(Y/N) broke off, swallowing the tears that bubbled in the back of her throat. She wasn’t the victim here, she wanted to appear sincere and apologetic but she didn’t want to make him feel guilty for his reaction to everything that had happened between them. She just wanted to make him feel better and pretend like this whole incident had never happened.

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll leave now. I hope you’re able to get some rest tonight, Captain-”

“(Y/N).”

The way he said her name, in a tone that sounded desperate and strained, made her close her mouth and meet his gaze.

“Come back to bed.”

She hesitated at first, but quickly found the confidence to move towards him when he pinned her with a dark glare. Moving back to her spot, (Y/N) placed her cape with the rest of her  uniform and brought the blanket back over her body, laying down on the spot furthest from Levi.

(Y/N) let out a loud gasp when Levi suddenly reached over and wrapped his arms around her before she could react, yanking her away from the edge of the cot and pulling her into his  chest. (Y/N) quickly tried to push away from him, but he held her steady against him, his arms refusing to loosen until she gave up on escaping.

“Listen here, brat,” Levi said, his voice surprisingly clear, “It’s not you. I’m not afraid to be held by you. I know I’ve been an asshole lately, but I was worried about letting myself get close to you only to lose you. I’ve lost so many. The last person I want to be caught up in everything is you. I c-care about you, and I just can’t stand the pain of watching you die.”

(Y/N) teared up at his impassioned confession, her fingers clenching in the fabric of her pajama top. Her heart was pounding against her rib cage as if it was trying to bust out, its drumming song throbbing throughout her entire body.

“But, you were shaking, and facing away from me, and fidgeting around,” (Y/N) said quietly.

Levi tensed but took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax again.

“That wasn’t because of you, brat.”

She tilted her head in confusion. He knew she wanted more details than that, but he was finding it difficult to put everything into words. He was just about ready to blurt it out to her, rip off the bandaid quickly, when a flash of lightning broke the sky in half, followed by a clap of thunder that shook the entire camp.

To her utter shock, Levi flinched and whimpered. He cursed at his own reaction, his arms tightening subconsciously around her body.

“Levi…” (Y/N) murmured. “Are you… scared of storms?”

The look in his gunmetal hues was answer enough. (Y/N) felt a dizzying mix of immense relief and a rush of sympathy and sadness wash through her. She was glad she wasn’t the source of his fears and discomfort, but she felt horrible for what he was going through. She had had no idea, never even had an inkling that their fearsome, stone-faced Captain would be scared of rain and thunder.

Quickly shaking off any questions she had, (Y/N) shifted her arms from where they had been hugging her stomach, and wrapped them around his waist and neck, pulling him into her. She felt him tense a little at the foreign contact, but she didn’t let it mess with her confidence. She knew he needed this, knew he secretly craved the comfort of human contact, and forced herself to shove her anxiety to the side and focus solely on her hurting Captain. After a moment, Levi eventually tightened his grip on her and snuggled into her embrace, making her heart explode with love and affection.

He nuzzled his face into her neck, letting out occasional quiet moans and murmurs of approval as she ran her fingers through his soft raven locks with one hand and rubbed comforting circles into his back with the other.

They were silent for a long while, merely enjoying the comfort of the other’s company despite the tenseness (Y/N) could still feel in the Captain’s muscles. Whenever thunder rocked the world, or a gust of wind made the rain lash against the tent like gunfire, (Y/N) would hold him tighter to her, cooing softly at him and massaging his back and shoulders. His eyes closed at her ministrations, his lashes fluttering against her skin, tickling her neck as he started to settle.

“My best friends died in a storm just like this,” Levi whispered into the dark, making  (Y/N) gasp. She looked down to see his eyes were still closed, his nose pressed against her neck.

“Levi… I’m so sorry,” (Y/N) said, lightly scratching his undercut.

“What’s done is done,” Levi said tightly, “But I’m never going to let anything happen to you.”

Levi opened his eyes, pinning her with a look of determined fire, “I will protect you, I promise.”

(Y/N) smiled, letting out a contented sigh as he leaned in to press soft butterfly kisses along her throat, a sign of gratitude for everything she had done for him.

“I’ll protect you too, Levi. Whenever you need me, I am here for you. Always.”

Levi was grateful she couldn’t see his face as he blinked away the tears that had unexpectedly risen to prick at his eyes. “I’ll hold you to that, brat.”

(Y/N) huffed a laugh and leaned down to press a loving kiss to his forehead, “You better.”

Levi snorted, “Go to sleep.”

“Yes, sir.”

Levi gave her a weak flick on the shoulder before snuggling more into her warm embrace, a small smile making its way to his face as he felt the fear drain from his body despite the storm still raging outside. (Y/N) was his calming balm, something to soothe his tortured soul and battered heart. He was still afraid of losing her, but he knew now that he couldn’t bear to stay away. He would just have to work harder to protect her, to keep her from harm at all costs. He would become her sword and her shield, a way to repay her for being his blanket, his home, his light.

“Goodnight Levi,” (Y/N) sighed as her own eyes fluttered closed.

“Goodnight Cuddlebug,” Levi said softly, a nickname he was sure would embarrass her later. Just as he expected, (Y/N) threw him one last half-hearted glare for his teasing before she succumbed to her exhaustion, a small smile on her face as she curled into his warm body.

Levi found himself quickly falling asleep behind her, surprised at how fast she made him relax. He was so used to being an insomniac, especially during a storm where he felt paralyzed with fear and horrible memories, but (Y/N) was holding his demons back for him, keeping them locked away for the night, and he couldn’t be more grateful for that as he slowly slipped from consciousness and into a dreamless sleep.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” was the last thing Levi managed to say, the last thing (Y/N) managed to hear, before the pair fell into a deep sleep, wrapped up in their own little world together.

[shy-violet-soul]

The Pint-sized Protection Squad

Title: The Pint-sized Protection Squad Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (female) Synopsis:  Bucky Barnes, Alpha & Winter Soldier, thought he knew what scary was.  Then, he came face-to-face with his Omega’s protection squad… Word count: 1800-ish Warnings: tooth-rotting/stomach-aching fluff of the highest degree. A/N: @ursulaismymiddlename reblogged this idea and the idea wouldn’t let me go.  So, I wrote this instead of doing my real job.  It might be garbage, but I had fun plunking it down!

Liked it? There’s a sequel over HERE!

Bucky Barnes was a reasonable man.  When you approached him with the idea to start a daycare for the alpha/beta/omega kids in the neighborhood, he said ‘no’.  The idea of strangers coming and going around his Omega just about gave him hives.

“Bucky, let me explain.  Some parents are starting to complain about them being in with non-a/b/o kids.  They’re wanting to ban them.”  Then, she did it. The eyes thing, and the hand thing.  One little hand resting against his chest while those y/e/c eyes blinked up at him, and Bucky wavered.  “Just picture them, hun.  All those little alphas and omegas, just pushed aside.”  She peeked up at him from beneath thick lashes before delivering the final blow.  “Breaks my heart to think about if they were our pups…”

Bucky Barnes was a reasonable man.  When his superiorly-strategist-skilled Omega shot down all his protestations, he gave in and said ‘yes’.  While you picked out paint colors, tiny furniture, and craft ideas, he frantically begged Tony and Steve to help him protect her.  The first floor of their three-story apartment was thoughtfully converted for the project, complete with a separate front door.  Vetting processes were carefully constructed, security measures meticulously enacted, FRIDAY installed.  And on meet & greet night, Bucky tried hard to ignore his cotton-mouth anxiety at the strangers gathered around his Omega.  

Watching her made it easier.  Seated in a blue overstuffed chair covered with butterflies, she talked animatedly with an Alpha and Omega pair of mothers and a Beta dad.  The moms’ little Omega girl sat cuddled in her lap, and the dad’s little Alpha boy leaned against her, tucked under her other arm.  Both children looked up at her like she hung the moon.  Bucky knew the feeling well.  Seeing the delight beaming from her in huge smiles, Bucky knew this was a perfect fit for his girl.

That didn’t stop him from scenting the heck out of her before she opened the doors the first day.

Bucky Barnes was a reasonable man.  Growling low under his breath every time an Alpha came in to drop off their pup was just a friendly hello.  An assertive hello.  Okay, it was a warning that she was HIS.  So, while the Alpha moms or dads in question side-eyed him warily, Y/N just laughed and smacked a kiss to his chin as she signed in the little pups and handed out morning snacks.

She refused to let him sit with them and glower at the kids all day, so he stayed glued to the security camera footage instead.  After a month of watching her work her magic with the little ones, and zero problems with the parents, Bucky started to relax.

Bucky Barnes was a reasonable man.  Asking his Omega to wear a body camera and bio-sensors that fed into his phone when he went on the first mission after opening the daycare wasn’t overkill in the slightest.  When Y/N refused, he 100% supported that.  The fact that Wanda showed up to “help” her in the daycare while he was gone was random coincidence.  

Ur lucky ur cute & she brought kifla cookies. eating them all, BTW.  A fond grin touched his face as he read her text.  God, he loved this woman.  A picture of she and Wanda surrounded by the children, mouths stuffed full of the cinnamon-sugary treat, chirped through next, pulling a chuckle from him.  

Three months passed, and Bucky had to agree that the daycare was an unarguable success.  He’d even decreased his security footage viewing to just a glance now and then, confident in the Stark technology and FRIDAY vigilance at work.  One particular fall day, Bucky sat at the kitchen table methodically field cleaning his guns.  Michael Kamen soundtracks filtered from his phone, a pleasant background to his task.  A faint whiff caught his attention - geranium and lemon.  Your scent, but with a hit of something different.  Something sweet and warm...Heat.  You were going into heat.

Bucky Barnes was a reasonable man.  The fact that the door now hung from only one loose hinge was completely irrelevant.

Alarm pounded through him as he raced down the stairs.  Your heat was early, so you were caught defenseless against the nausea, cramps, and dizziness.  When Bucky burst into the daycare floor, a mish-mash of scents smacked him in the face.  Sweet orange, strawberry, black licorice, chocolate, cinnamon red-hots - it smelled like a melting candy store, and Bucky couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on.  He turned the corner into the play room, and there you were.  Curled up on the floor, leaning weakly against the blue butterfly chair, you had an arm wrapped around your middle as the first wave of cramps hit you.  Overcome with the need to get to you, Bucky charged forward…and was met with immediate resistance.

Four little alphas, three boys and one girl, lined up in front of Y/N protectively.  Indignant glares gave him pause while a blonde little Beta girl with adorable freckles stood up on the blue chair and pointed at him accusingly.

“Alpha!” came the warning.  One of the little alphas, a tow headed youngster that reminded him too much of a little Steven Rogers, lowered his head and barreled towards him.  Before Bucky could blink, the pup slammed his foot into Bucky’s shin.  A grunt left him as Bucky put an arm out to hold his attacker off.  Bucky couldn’t hold in the squawk of pain as another Alpha, this one a three-foot tall munchkin with gorgeous black eyes and a lightning bolt shaved into his temple fade, ricocheted a Duplo Lego brick off his temple.  Stumbling away from the unexpected assault, Bucky tripped over a toy train and fell hard, right on his ass.  Turmoiling emotions avalanched through him as Bucky tried to decide between crabwalking back from the threat or protecting his Omega.  

“Stop!”  The cry, weak as it was, froze the whole group.  Bucky’s head swiveled in Y/N’s direction, and his heart thumped hard.

His Omega was being well protected, after all.

A teensy little redhead Omega with brilliant blue eyes had her arms wrapped around Y/N’s neck, holding her face smooshed under her tiny chin while Y/N tried to pull back a breath.  Trying to let Miss Y/N scent her for comfort, like a good Omega would.  The other Omega, a chubby little doll with curly brown pigtails and dimples, tenderly stroked Y/N’s hair, as she murmured, “Don’t you worry, Miss Y/N!  Your Alpha will be here soon and give you hugs.  Do you need an Elsa band-aid?”  Little “Steve” and Lightning Bolt were flanked by a warrior princess in a pink tshirt emblazoned with “this little mermaid is a hot mess”, and a boy with purple Hulk pants and an Iron Man hoodie.  The row of tiny Alphas were churning out angry, fearful, candy-scented pheromones like a factory while the two Omegas waffled between scared and soothing scents.

You had your very own pint-sized protection squad.

Warrior Princess took a step forward, eyes squinted threateningly.

“State your business, Alpha!”

Bucky Barnes was a reasonable man.  Seven small children who didn’t equal his body mass didn’t intimidate him in the least.

“I-I...Y/N, she - I - she’s my Alpha.  I mean, Omega.  I’m her Alpha,” he stuttered out.

“Yes,” you managed to croak out, groaning as another cramp waved through you.  Little Red looked at Dimples, alarmed.

“Maybe she needs a drink!”  Dimples scampered off in the direction of the kitchen, back in an instant with a leaking unicorn sippy cup which she shoved in your face.  Lightning Bolt stepped up next to Warrior Princess, fists on his hips.

“You her Alpha?  Prove it!”

“Prove it?”

“Yeah!  What’s her favorite bug?”

Completely flummoxed, Bucky had to think for a second, shaking his head a bit as your increasing heat-scent crowded his brain.

“Lightning bug.”  The four little Alphas looked at each other, gathering around and whispering.

“Is that the one whose bottom lights up?”

“Yup, that’s it.”

Iron Man Hoodie turned around, eyes narrowed suspiciously as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Alright, you may pass.”

Bucky Barnes was a reasonable man.  He didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.  He scrambled to your side, scooping you into his arms and pressing your face to his throat.  When your skin met his, you both sighed in relief as he pulled you fully into his lap, Little Red squashed somewhere in the mix.  He felt your breath wash against him when you sighed, your fingers grasping his shirt as his presence soothed the pain for the moment.  The soothing purr that you loved rumbled from his chest, vibrating into you as his calming scent of rosemary and sandalwood filled the room.

“Hhmmm,” the contented hum as Dimples suddenly pressed herself to his back.  A bright little chuckle had him lifting his elbow as Little Red climbed out from between them.

“He’s purring like a big cat!”

And just like that, five of the pups had found some way to plaster themselves on or around him and Y/N.  Murmurs of satisfaction groaned here and there as they all breathed in his calming scent.  Thoroughly bemused, Bucky tried to pay attention as Warrior Princess and little “Steve” tried to train him on Alpha stuff.

“If you’re gonna protect your Omega, you’ve gotta have a mean face.  Like this!”  Warrior Princess schooled her face into a properly intimidating scowl.

“Yeah!  And that purr is legit, but you gotta scare off other Alphas with a really scary growl.  Here, listen!” Little “Steve” growled with ferocity.  “Now, you do it.  Show us your mean face and your growl!”

Bucky ‘legit’ didn’t know what the hell to do.  You huffed a chuckle against his collarbone, and Bucky dipped his chin down to look at you.

“Yeah, Bucky.  Show us your mean face.”  Rolling his eyes at you, Bucky screwed his features into an exaggerated glower, a thunderous snarl rumbling from him.  Warrior Princess clapped her hands, beaming a proud smile at him.

“That was real good!  But next time, show more teeth with your face, and then you’ll be really scary.”

With that, she flounced over and curled up against Y/N’s back, sandwiched between Lightning Bolt and Freckles, the Beta.  Bucky felt his heart thump hard again.

Bucky Barnes was a reasonable man.  With Y/N in his lap, and pint-sized pups squished up against his back, her back, around his arms, etc., he knew this daycare had always been a fantastic idea.

[luisneer]

selected tweets 2016-17

These are tweets from my first @luisneer twitter account. Recently I made a new twitter account with the same username, after having deleted my account and having been without twitter for several months. These tweets are from August 2016 to March 2017, which was most of my first year of college at Shepherd University, in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. I don't go to Shepherd anymore; I transferred to West Virginia University, in Morgantown, WV, after my second semester. My tweets from late March 2017 to [July or August] 2017, when I deleted my twitter, were not archived. 

I'm creating this blog post so the world will have access to some of my tweets from the deleted @luisneer, in case they have any merit as literature. I'm still not sure if I will continue to use twitter in 2018/the future. Usually when I use twitter I feel like I'm actually wanting to be doing something else, but I don't know what; or wanting to be using "another app" that doesn't exist. Twitter generally seems bad for me. Questions about my tweets August 2016-March 2017 can be directed at luisneer@gmail.com. Thank you

    2016

   morgantown has ~48 vape shops

 **morgantown has ~480 vape shops

 siri has werner herzog-like inflections

 considering changing outfits when i take several walks in one day (so nobody thinks im a serial killer, stalker, spy, alien)

 think i remember ~5% of things i said today

 imagined vague connection btwn 'vitamin d' and 'reptar'

 felt distinctly that i was a monkey or chimpanzee while crouching in the corner of my dorm room eating peanuts out of a jar

 just thought (as a request to my mom) 'fax me my skateboard...'

 looked at toilet in bathroom stall with expression of 'utter terror' for what felt like ~15 seconds while it flushed

 listening to bright eyes with headphones at house show

 feel that the toothpaste i use is advancing decay of my teeth

 feel 100% certain that i could train myself to use telepathy to operate my phone during classes

 enjoying the sensation of my right leg 'falling asleep' during psychology class (left foot is also 'asleep')

 felt 'sociopathic' after eye contact w library worker who watched me pick up & pocket a pair of apple headphones someone had left on a chair

 left stolen apple headphones on gray bench across the street from my dorm

 repeatedly placed/removed sunglasses while walking in hallway

 strong desire to remove all positive patterns from my life and perpetuate/embrace all negative ones

 feel that my laptop 'knows' which parts of its screen im looking at

 in winchester, VA

 thought of my own music as having 'no compelling audible elements'

 thought of myself as being legally named 'the fuck up', then couldnt remember my actual name

 successfully, i feel, duplicated 'sociopath facial expression' during eye contact with arch-nemesis in stairwell

 ive taken 13800mg ibuprofen since i got to college

 feel compelled to ask my 9 yr old brother for advice re 'college-level' personal issues

 feel smart after sitting on couch in painting studio + reading art magazines for 2 hours

 persistent notion that 100% of students at my college personally hate me

 psychology professor muttered something like 'scary snake... endocrine system...'

 feeling heavily drugged/sedated in psych class

 psych professor seems obsessed with/terrified by snakes

 imagined kanye smoking crystal meth and tweeting something like 'please help me... cant feel mouth... need help'

 saw a moth at open mic, thought about god

 experiencing difficulty trying to smile

 enjoying using numerous cliches ('the case is closed', 'taking a step back', 'harsh realities') in an essay

 intrigued by conversation i had 9 hrs ago w/ 2 boys who countered my tone (calm, eloquent) exactly by being loud and rude in a friendly way

 felt simultaneously really cute and really lonely while giggling with my mouth closed in french class

 imagined kanye inventing the word 'compactualize' and using it in a sentence during a televised interview

 enjoyed 8-sentence john updike bio in norton lit anthology

 perceived person standing outside bathroom stall occupied by me could 'sense', via something like echolocation, that i was/am depressed

 spoke to french professor in what felt like a distinct persona/alternate luis neer called 'marge simpson voice' luis neer

 feel confidently that the public debut of 'marge simpson voice' luis neer was a success

 feel that 'marge simpson voice' luis neer is the culmination of an unconscious process that initiated in my mind maybe 3-5 years ago

 i want to identify/analyze additional alternate luis neers

 i dont like videos

 i came to college and got weirder, better at writing, more arrogant, more defeated, more sensible

 simultaneously feel that i should run 3 miles and that, at this moment, i would be incapable of running any distance

 feel urged to draw new attention to my 'marge simpson voice' tweets

 huge power outage at shepherd lol

 realized theres no such thing as a 'nation'

 remembered ive blown off obligations to several people, not just one person, so my irresponsibility doesnt 'have a focus', felt comforted

 feel that my follower count is 'crystallized' / will never increase or decrease ever again

 struggled to convert 'stick-and-poke' to past tense during conversation in line at sheetz

 feel it would be pleasurable to take a donut + bottle of coca-cola from this sheetz via armed robbery

 crossed busy road, felt really surprised i didnt get hit by a car, also i wasnt wearing glasses, was walking to sheetz, bought an icee

 laughed alone in my dorm thinking that i should print out a picture of barack obama to put on my wall

 drank from separate glasses containing soymilk, coffee, iced coffee, apple juice, cranberry juice, water, sprite for dinner/breakfas

 just thought 'from adorno to zizek' sans context while shitting

 opened gmail, emailed my father, closed gmail, opened gmail again, viewed email to my father, forwarded it to myself

 'camcorder' would be a good band name

 i thought arnold palmer had already died

 willem dafoe doesnt make me uncomfortable

 i want to stop being mean

 i hate bfs but i want to be someones bf

 wishing i was in a car with friends and no cellular service

 tangled up in myself and others

 twin peaks is depicted as a small town but its population is greater than that of every city in west virginia including the state capital

 eating shark

 thought of my own intelligence as 'frightening'

 thought while walking to class that ginger ale should be made public domain

 had the stitches on my chin removed today, touched the scar tissue for the first time

 i miss being in therapy

 i love carpet

 i love carpet !!

 just thought about my own tweets and lol'd

 mood lately very fragile

 this is what i get for staying up til 5 am

 all night i've felt a wave of dread swelling up, now it's really hitting me

 sound of laughter in public still frightening + unnerving

 my instinct for when to unfriend people on facebook has adapted so that i unfriend people over statuses that make me feel no emotions at all

 fuck, im feeling so much terror

 gucci mane was born 3 days before conor oberst

 the other day i mentioned that i was a poet and this vape guy interrupted me to say "and you didnt know it" and i went fucking nuclear

 interacted with mailman who was picking up mail as i was trying to mail chapbooks, he didnt notice at first that i was talking to him

 what if old people have secrets

 my dad is making me root for a football team but im in pain emotionally

 i feel guilty in general

 thought of my poem "portrait of a nation without any people" as the "lead single" for my full length; it appeared in potluck 14 months ago

 im close friends with satan rn

 feel like travis scott never intended for people to spell his name with a $

 from now on every time i get honey on something ill list the thing in this thread

 finger

 desk

 coffee cup exterior

 pajama pants

 knee

 carpet

 chin

 phone

 shirt

 shoe

 thought that my elderly geography prof. moves by "shuffling"

 feeling shorter, broader

 the only part of the new bright eyes box set i want is the booklet

 is there a booklet? i know there are nvr b4 sn photos

 the song "lime tree" came to conor oberst in a dream

 i like citing things in MLA

 i write essays by pretending im werner herzog

 doesnt seem to be getting later

 lit professor gave my project (sequence of 6 sonnets) a C, i wish she would have gotten me expelled, shelley + ginsberg both were expelled

 heard someone in another room ask "where's wal-mart?" as if wal-mart were a person whose location could change

 i think i just swallowed a filling while eating popcorn, i am very scared, please help

 crazy how things get worse

 there are people on my floor having tons of fun and im upset

 bit my mattress while sitting in the chair next to my bed

 weird that chance the rapper only has 2.4 million followers when he's sort of one of the most famous artists in the world rn

 also weird that donald trump has made 34,000 tweets, seems like an incredibly large number

 the strangeness of yesterday was, for me, augmented by people on the internet talking about a tv show that ive never seen or heard about

 the sunlight is obscene

 im so upset about the sun being so bright im afraid to go outside

 im glad im the only poet who likes trailer park boys

 i slept in a blanket fort under my bed and havent left it all day

 yr = your ur = you're

 my favorite things are pdfs

 now that ive adapted my living space to allow me to never leave my blanket fort i feel like my roommate, omar, exists in a parallel universe

 i hear him but i never see him

 i love latte art, i drink many lattes

 thought that twitter "isn't worth it" in an upset tone while drinking mtn dew

 felt pleasant considering uniqueness of all parent-offspring relationships

 went through my closet + made sure all shirts and jackets were zipped/buttoned

 my blanket is generating flashes of light from static electricity

 record store guy became visibly sick of me several months ago; feel a little guilty every time i enter his store to spend money

 i prefer EPs

 felt "out of control" walking downhill listening to dead kennedys with headphones

 writing an essay is difficult because idk how much relevant information other people have already considered / moved on from

 have been wanting to write at least one poem inside my blanket fort but i don't think it's going to happen, i don't know why

 the internet isn't big enough

 usually when i think "i dont understand the uproar about [event]" i realize there is no "uproar"

 "uproar" is media's way of manipulating the public spotlight and distracting people from important tasks

 feeling helpless + melancholy after dying 15 times and killing 2 stormtroopers in star wars battlefront

 the only way to attain conor oberst-level emo hair is to lay in bed and sob for hours

 i'm sad

 my mom was confused when i told her my first book comes out today

 was luis neer in odd future

 thought "sometimes i just want to end it and start all over" in an exasperated tone re my goodreads account

 becoming increasingly convinced it would be best for me personally to take myself extremely seriously/never joke about myself

 thinking that my tweets would seem terrible if i were a senator/governor/other politician

 imagined doomsday device for future @starwars movies: the "death train," a normal train that exists in space and destroys planets

 how does anyone do it

 in science fiction movies, spacecraft usually look like shopping malls

 everyone in the world is high except me

 feel like i want to have poems published immediately

 having delusions of grandeur

 im sitting on my record player

 my most-used word in 2016 was "bleak"

 prepared and ate garbanzo beans w a lot of rosemart at 2:00 AM

 my brother has a friend over and is being mean to the friend

 all i want for christmas is to never cheer up, ever

 watching eyes wide shut and hugging duckuc

 my nose feels like it's going to bleed

 im sad because every bf looks like me

 getting better at eating ice cream by punching it with my tongue

 the internet is too freaky...

 i think 2017 will be a year of realizing things

 im watching the angry birds movie

 the angry birds movie is so shitty... why was it made...

 ive never had a new years kiss

   2017

   im weird

 eating medicinal ice cream

 im not going to do any drugs in 2017

 made a medicinal phone call

 i want to drink some blood

 i dreamed that roger ebert wrote a negative review of life after ppl and called it "liner notes"

 years dont kill people

 feel inexplicably/explicably really scared about the future of my poetry career

 i've felt stoned since i was a baby

 downloading google earth

 made eye contact in starbucks with possible luis neer incarnation from ~50 years in future; bon jovi "dead or alive" played through speakers

 realised that at some point in the future i will become extremely interested in watching football

 i recommend reading poems extremely slowly while touching the text with your middle finger/index finger

 experiencing cognitive dissonance

 used phonetic clues to correctly predict meaning of & use the word "tandem" while discoursing with myself internally

 i miss steel pedal guitar sounds on conor oberst songs

 my previous incarnation "college luis neer" has evolved to become "high school luis neer-like luis neer in college setting"

 thought "man, i got to stop caring what people think about me" in an emphatic tone that seemed confusing/interesting

 mediocore

 beyonce is cool i think

 i want to re-read "v for vendetta" and to not tweet about it

 remembered that i own a pinata

 i will be at awp

 how could i make twitter a better place

 i saw 4 people wearing yeezys in dc this weekend

 feeling increasingly self-conscious about how much i use the phrase "in the world" or refer to "the world" in poems

 felt robot-like while attaching detachable headphones cord to my headphones while wearing the headphones

 watching shepherd univ lacrosse team practice from "safety of" student center

 i invented releasing two chapbooks in one day

 im dumber than me

 reasoned mentally that im more likely to produce accurate drawings of myself because "i basically look like a bird, so i just draw a bird"

 i want to have a "fake tweet" (e.g. a simple phrase) to tweet repeatedly every time i feel urged to tweet an uninformed/unimportant opinion

 my fake tweet for the foreseeable future will be "i dropped my textbook in the stairwell". when i tweet this it means i have an opinion

 i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

 does anyone remember the chapter of "the hobbit" where bilbo avoids starvation by ingesting peanut butter, honey, cherry nyquil, and water

 sensed that all my college friends just simultaneously shifted from having vague/non-serious negative feelings about me to hating me

 resulting from continuous building of irrepressible/inevitable conjecture in the friends' conscious thoughts

 eating chicken and squash

 i click on 100% of poetry links tweeted by poets i follow

 when i was writing Waves i was obsessed with waves (e.g. energy waves, frequencies) and used the word "waves" at least ~10 times every day

 i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

 white nike swooshes on shoes of boy in library look vibrant/magical

 terrified of being cool

 walked to library really slowly while listening to noise music through big headphones

 i was really, really yung when i started publishing and i'm still really yung

 2 chainz always looks like he's walking in an airport

 i have 5 twitters

 i didnt know what bill paxton looked like, i was thinking RIP gene hackman

 why doesnt anyone blog about me

 thesis statements arent real

 thinking about my book

 i deleted both my tumblrs by accident

 sad about my tumblr

 my name is all over the internet

 im a lizard

 someday there'll be no more ppl

 a lot of conor oberst song titles have parentheses

 feeling sad about the actions of my clone, who passed away

 idk how to use venmo or what it is

 present-day tumblr is like the end of the never ending story where atreyu is talking with the rock biter and the nothing is swirling around

 when someone, anyone, is upset with me im afraid im going to be assassinated

 the views-era apple music ads that depict drake working hard in the studio have really affected and inspired me

 on tumblr i have 4 followers

 almost all of my tweets seem unimportant

 feel that if someone told me that one of my tweets made them upset i would just apologize and delete it

 ground control to commander venus

 i like my new tumblr

 i would be wearing a cardigan rn but i dont have one

 feel that i will continue to generate bright eyes-related content throughout my life

 is everything ok

 i look like michael moore