#and he said that he hoped I'll text him like a decent bit (idk how to explain + too lazy to check exact wording)

[sillyfreakx5]

he didn't respond for over 5 hours and it's the middle of the day in his timezone aaaaa did i do something wrong??? (he usually replies quite quickly and i already sent several texts)

[cherry-gemz]

The Wedding Date

This is fluff drabble...ficlet? Idk, but came from the prompt of the lovely @the-ce-horniest-book-club 💕 and the Drunk Drabbles.

"Just pretend to be my date."

Pairings: Chris Evans x F!Reader

Rating: PG

Words: <1k

Summary: You and Chris are roommates before he hits it big in Hollywood. As you have a mutual friend's wedding fast approaching, neither have dates. You've asked him to go, but his heart is on his sleeve and wants more than just a platonic relationship. Will he have the guts to tell you he sees you more than a friend?

"Will you just pretend to be my date?"

Chris choked on his morning cereal as the two of you sat across from each other in your Boston apartment that you shared. He wiped milk off the morning scruff of his beard and dropped the spoon against the porcelain bowl, which let out a reverberated echo. 

"W-what?" He asked, still shocked at your proposal. 

"Crystal's wedding. It's in three weeks, I don't have anyone to bring and you'll be much more fun, please," you beg as you straighten your tortoise shelled glasses. You dove into your cereal and took a large spoonful of shredded wheat, shoving it in your mouth as you scrolled your cell. 

Chris, being your best friend and roommate of three years, hadn't prepared for this moment from you. He had pined and watched you go through the endless amount of first dates and losers. Whilst always being there with some pie and a good laugh on how'd you eventually find the one. Sure, he was lucky in the dating department, being able to bring home a bar fly or someone's sister from spring break. But he knew deep down it was only because he was waiting for you.

Waiting for that moment that he could tell you how much he cared about you, in the most unlikely of best friend ways. That he would both love and hate the movie nights together, cuddled on the couch. How your hair would smell amazing and the softness of your skin would send tentilating waves over his body and he'd have to excuse himself to the bathroom. 

But he didn't. There was never a good moment. He didn't want to ruin what you two had as friends. He'd push his feelings aside day by day, just wishing that he'd have enough courage to get out of the friend zone: To even hope that you would or could feel the same.

He was still starting out as an actor, auditioning for little parts here and there. You were his cheerleader, always encouraging him to keep at it, and he'll get his big break soon enough. In the meantime, you both found each other after he answered your roommate ad on Facebook. Which he later scolded you on considering the weirdos that were out there. 

"Chrisfp," you mumble through your cereal as he bit his lip while stifling a laugh at your face. 

"What?"

You swallow the remnants of the cereal. 

"Be my date," you state as you look into his blue eyes. He melted in a puddle, knowing he could never say no to you. But a wedding? That would be torture: to pretend that you were a couple and playing house for the night? It would destroy him.

"I...I already have a date," he fumbled and lied.

Your neck cranes slightly left, "What? Who?"

He looked down at his cereal, "You don't know her."

A slight sliver of envy entered your body. He'd have his flings, but a wedding date? That is more serious. Who could this mystery woman be?

"What's her name?"

"Uhh…" he frantically looked around the room for some sign of a name. 

You squint your eyes at him, knowing you can usually tell when he's lying. But why would he lie about this?

"Jenna!" He shouted, proud of himself for thinking of a name of a girl he talked to the night before at Smitty's. 

"Jenna, huh? What's her last name?" You inquire, waiting to see him crack.

His eyes dart to the shredded wheat box and he immediately thinks of snow from the frosted sugar. 

"Snow. Her name is Jenna Snow and she's my date," he says matter of factly.

"Crystal is going to loose it that you're bringing a plus one. It'll mess her table placements. I know you didn't RSVP for you and Jenna..."

You breathe in heavily and grab your now empty cereal bowl and wash it in the sink. Your back is to him and he stares at your reaction, hoping you bought his lie. 

"I'll text her. I mean, I wasn't sure if I was going anyway...but if you are, then it seems like a decent night."

"Well, I'm looking forward to meeting this Jenna Snow. Guess I'll have to ask Jack to come with me or something."

Chris groaned, "What?! No, not Jack!" He shook his head as you turned and smirked at his reaction. 

"Why not? I was thinking about getting back together with him anyway. I miss being in a relationship…"

He quickly looked away, knowing that you had caught on. He scratched the back of his neck and became antsy. It wasn't that he hated Jack, it's just that he would have been the one for you, had he not had commitment issues. 

"Yeah, but what about everything he said to you about not wanting to move forward? I mean, you're lucky you didn't move in with the guy."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"C'mon, you would have been out of a place if you signed that lease. He left you high and dry, Y/N!"

There were many nights of tears in the couch with more than pie could ever fix due to Jack bailing on you. Chris had said you were always welcomed home, it was your apartment initially anyway. He'd always have your back.

"Yeah, well I need to bring someone to the wedding. He looks good in a suit and I know he's free then."

Chris cocked his brow at you, "You've been talking?"

"Texts, here and there. He's single. Who knows, maybe third time's the charm?"

He knew if Jack re-entered your life again, things for him would be bleak. He would have to somehow make you see that you guys were meant to be instead of you and Jack. 

"Why don't the four of us go together? Like drive up?" He cringed as the words escaped his lips. He had to think of something and fast before the wedding approached and he'd lose his chance to tell you how he felt.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: hmu when you're out Jimmy: 👌 I'm done Janis: 🤞 how'd it go Jimmy: alright Jimmy: they told me I got it so Janis: really Janis: 👍 well done Janis: that's sorted then Jimmy: tah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: where are you? Janis: gym Janis: but I'm nearly done Jimmy: I'll meet you there Jimmy: don't matter Janis: sure? Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: gimme a sec Janis: 👍 Janis: what place was this again, what's it like Jimmy: [sends her the deets so she can stalk] Jimmy: Pete'll fit right in when I poach him 💕 Janis: 👌 Janis: dream team back together Jimmy: IKR 😍😍😍 Jimmy: can't wait to tweet him the good news OMG Janis: gonna be so buzzin' babe Janis: not just 'cos he thinks you've forgotten him 💔 Jimmy: poor lad 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you alright then? Janis: 'course Janis: I didn't have no interview Jimmy: but you didn't have me for a bit Jimmy: sound at least fake gutted Janis: 😭😭😭 Janis: me Janis: how's that? Jimmy: more #goals Jimmy: but not 🥇 Janis: What Janis: how do I win then Jimmy: just show me how much you missed me when I get there Janis: duh Janis: not even a challenge, babe Jimmy: I weren't making one Jimmy: yours is to find somewhere decent to celebrate later Janis: 'course Jimmy: we'll see Jimmy: how you do Janis: oi Janis: when have I ever let you down dickhead Jimmy: I know, it's only the fans Jimmy: a girl from my art class asked when you were like she was hoping I'd dumped you Jimmy: 😭 she was Janis: 😒 Janis: who Jimmy: how would I know? Jimmy: lasses who take art all look the same Janis: true Janis: bit rude she expected me to be there tbh Jimmy: you ain't gonna drop in for your smoothie fix then? Jimmy: I get it, it's no CG 💔 Janis: you know that was fake Janis: but get Pete and we can talk Jimmy: not even a challenge, babe Jimmy: I know he misses me Janis: yeah, no one saying you weren't 🔥 at your job, babe Janis: take that slack Jimmy: the manager was & is Jimmy: but tah Janis: yeah but he's just a prick Janis: and jealous Jimmy: his loss he could've walked in on us more if he'd let me stay Janis: kicking himself if Doris ain't Jimmy: she'll have fucked him up with her 👜 for it Janis: 😂 'least she's ride or die for you babe Jimmy: I'll hit her up on my way to you Jimmy: get the encouragement I need so enthusiasm for you won't be a challenge 💕👵 Janis: thanks 💕 Janis: save on the foreplay when I've got planning to do Jimmy: yeah Janis: actually good job though Janis: give your da something to not be totally 😠 about Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: he's ringing me now Janis: 👌 Janis: real highkey, ian Jimmy: he rang me loads when I was in there too 🙄 Jimmy: hang on Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: you still in the gym? Janis: yeah Janis: you alright Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'm outside 🚬 Jimmy: no rush like Janis: 👍 Janis: gimme 5 Janis: [is about that 'cos obvs knows, hugs and looking like hey but also you okay] Jimmy: [gives her a nod and a shrug and says 'afternoon' but then hugs for longer than necessary cos that's the real bit] Janis: [keeps hugging and says 'fuck him'] Jimmy: [gives her soft little neck kisses cos love] Janis: [whispers 'proud of you' 'cos is, pulls back eventually but holding his hand] Jimmy: [is a mixture of 😳 & 😢 & 😍] Janis: where d'ya wanna go for now then Jimmy: where do you wanna? Janis: wanna 🚬 and walk for a while longer Jimmy: [lights up for her cos gentlemanly] Janis: start the regime tomorrow 🚭 Janis: [gives him a kiss on the cheek when she takes it] Jimmy: [he wipes the kiss off like she does sometimes but is looking at her like 😍 cos she looks good after the gym] Janis: [proper kiss 'cos why not] Jimmy: you look Jimmy: just so you know Jimmy: [another kiss cos 1. she do and 2. distraction] Janis: if you say sweaty I will hit you 'cos I had a shower and everything Jimmy: not what I'm saying Janis: it's what you're saying with your eyes that's Janis: indecent Jimmy: ? Jimmy: [but looks at her again cos he knows] Janis: such a pisstake, you Jimmy: such a 💔 you Janis: trust, I was 💔 you weren't in time to join me too Jimmy: [is genuinely gutted you can see] Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: adding it to the list of grievances, yeah Ian Jimmy: give it to your true love & maybe she'll bury another ugly tie in the garden Janis: when she's just trying to save you from a fashion faux pas Jimmy: trained her to do that one, yeah Janis: yeah, you got me Janis: passion for fashion Jimmy: [is too forlorn for a lol but she gets a genuine smile] Janis: [frowns a little but then is looking 'round, determined] Janis: no doubt it's all the after-work-sesh dickheads rn but since you'll be back to being one soon, start with an early one, yeah? Jimmy: if you want, pisshead Janis: it's what you want Janis: take full advantage Jimmy: [shrugs but this is obviously gonna happen don't fight it boy] Janis: [raises a brow like 'really?' but doesn't push it, heading off in direction of nearest pub] Jimmy: [handholding 'cause winnie said so] Janis: scale of 1-10 Janis: how hard do you need to be distracted Jimmy: when don't I want you to be at 10 Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: obviously but I said need not want Janis: two very different things Jimmy: how hard do you need to distract me? Jimmy: it's your job you should wanna do it Janis: they indoctrinated you already in the interview alone? Janis: sad Janis: tragic Janis: I'll miss you Jimmy: shut up & piss off Jimmy: not an answer nowt of that Janis: neither was yours, like Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [walking in silence for bit 'cos not tryna push it when it's obvs what's up so] Jimmy: [pulls her to a stop by the hand & then in closer and gives her a really intense kiss as if to say there's your answer, alright] Janis: [nods like okay] Jimmy: [and they walking again ayyy like nothing happened straight into the pub] Janis: [gets the drinks in 'cos it will help #pissheadconfirmed] Jimmy: [is on his phone texting Cass checking in cos he's not gonna go home soz babes] Janis: [back at the table like drink up] Jimmy: [drinks way too much of his drink in a oner considering they ain't doing a challenge rn] Janis: [look that says 'that bad, yeah' and drinks more than she normally would but not as much 'cos sensible without being a downer, like] Jimmy: what do you reckon to my new workplace then Janis: less basic than CG Janis: have hopes that the clientele will be less too Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: & keep it off the 'gram for now Jimmy: sure Mia will stalk hard enough to figure it out but Jimmy: I'm not giving her a headstart Janis: 👍 Janis: bitch needs it Janis: and a defibrilator at the end Janis: but you know, not giving you those kinda kicks, soz babes 😘 Jimmy: maybe the loud tunes will 💀 her Jimmy: you did say she was one hairflip away from a heart attack Janis: can but dream Janis: think it'll be alright though Janis: as jobs go Jimmy: I'll let you have a lie in for the morning so you can crack on with that Janis: 💕 so considerate Janis: I wanna see you though Jimmy: [finishes his drink & goes to get more even though she hasn't yet] Jimmy: I need to see you Jimmy: I ain't going if not Janis: you will Janis: you staying over again yeah Jimmy: you want me to? Janis: 'course Janis: always Jimmy: [brings the drinks over but puts them both on his side cos he wants her to sit on his lap as standard so he's giving her a come here type look] Janis: [know the drill by now even if she gonna play like really okay gurl] Jimmy: [tells her that he missed her in her ear cos he did like idk how long that interview would be cos could be a group one or any kind of shit] Janis: [is playing with the collar of his fancy interview clothes and is all smiley 'cos kinda tickled] Janis: I missed you too Jimmy: [earlobe sauciness & then jaw kisses & finally neck like earlier but not soft this time, just taking his time being hot] Janis: ['Jesus' and drinking more of her drink] Jimmy: [he's just randomly tracing on her leg with his finger like doodling while she drinks] Janis: [looking at what he's doing like she'll be able to see an actual doodle] Janis: always on, babe Jimmy: you know it Jimmy: gimme a request, what do you want me to draw for you Jimmy: on you Janis: you're the creative one Janis: I just sit here and look pretty Janis: hmm [is think] Jimmy: [kissing her same as he did before but going from neck up to her ear instead while she thinks] Janis: well that's very distracting Janis: you should clearly write me one of your world famous sexts Jimmy: [but does though, on her thigh to make it a mood] Janis: [is concentrating hard like a nerd 'cos wants to know, even if it's making it hard to sit still] Jimmy: [goes over some words again if he wants her to figure that particular one out] Janis: [casually can't breathe] Jimmy: [casually just writing a long one cos he can] Janis: you Janis: you're trying to kill me Jimmy: I just wanna make you feel good, baby Jimmy: stay with me here Janis: we're meant to be celebrating you Jimmy: if it's about me I can do what I want Jimmy: & I want to Janis: [shrugs like can't argue with that logic like you wanna] Jimmy: [carries on, like we know he's just shamelessly touching her up at this point soz everyone] Janis: [know she's just up in his neck with all the kissing and biting 'cos trying not to be obvious] Jimmy: [could be forgiven for thinking he's trying to kill her cos just going at this like they aren't in public okay boy] Janis: you really meant everything you wrote Janis: fuck Jimmy: when don't I? Janis: not saying you disappoint Janis: have a job right now Jimmy: 'cause you can't say that right now Jimmy: I'd know you don't mean it Janis: how could you not Janis: you've got your hands right Janis: you can feel Jimmy: [makes a happy noise like yep I can & I'm living for it] Jimmy: you should wear this all the time Janis: you like it? Jimmy: I like how easy it is to do this Jimmy: & you look Jimmy: [kisses any and all exposed skin there is within reach] Janis: You're really not playing today are you Janis: [gripping onto him tighter] Jimmy: Nah, 'cause I'm just really Jimmy: & you're Janis: I know Janis: I Janis: you know I more than like it Jimmy: you love it Jimmy: me Janis: [says it out loud 'cos needs to hear 'scuse how her voice clearly sounds rn everyone] Jimmy: [stops breathing himself for a sec there cos we can all imagine the voice thank you] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: keep talking Janis: ['what do you want me to say?'] Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: just Jimmy: whatever you can Janis: [trying to have a convo when you're being fucked like you don't need to stop every other second] Jimmy: how are you even Jimmy: I swear you're not real Janis: 'cos you want me to and I wanna make you happy Janis: and you Janis: clearly dreamed you up Jimmy: we've all dreamed this Jimmy: you're so fucking Janis: I dunno if these punters have but they are looking like are we serious right now Jimmy: they'll be thinking about it Jimmy: asleep or awake don't really matter Janis: [says his name in what shoulda been like omg but does not come out like that for obvious reasons] Jimmy: [a kissing moment cos he can't handle how hot she sounds] Janis: [thank god, muffle how much she wants to keep saying your name] Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: you have to type it 'cause I'm not gonna stop Jimmy: but someone will make us if we aren't careful Janis: yeah Janis: shit Janis: okay Janis: being good Jimmy: fuck it Jimmy: what's another pub we can't come back to Jimmy: cross it off the list Janis: you sure Jimmy: do what you want Jimmy: that's what I want Janis: You're just Janis: the way you look at me and touch me makes me feel Jimmy: I know Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: feel it Jimmy: I do too Janis: you know how close I am to cumming for you then Jimmy: I'm gonna make you right here I know that Jimmy: I don't care about anything else, okay Janis: [nods, biting her lip from the effort of not actually being the loudest bitch ever] Janis: I like you like this Jimmy: [kissing her and taking that lip into his mouth so extra like why you gotta suck on it like that boy stop] Janis: [moaning into his mouth like it's her job] Jimmy: [we'll let her & everyone else have that cos enough of a show happening without ALL the sound effects] Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you so much baby Jimmy: show me, girl Jimmy: You're so close Jimmy: just Janis: fuck me Janis: I wanna show you everything, Jim Jimmy: start by cumming for me Jimmy: I want that so bad you know Janis: [holding onto his neck for stability but also so she can push his head down slightly so he sees everything when she does] Jimmy: shit Jimmy: alright then Janis: you wanna see, you're gonna get the best view Janis: it's all because of you anyway Jimmy: one day you're gonna take all my compliments, I swear Jimmy: but right now Jimmy: just this Janis: oh Janis: oh my fucking God Jimmy: we can do this all day Jimmy: I'm so comfortable Jimmy: & you're so Janis: Jimmy please Jimmy: you asked so nicely then Jimmy: okay Janis: I can be nice for you Jimmy: let's be nice to each other Jimmy: I want that Janis: [nods 'cos past the point of being cohesive] Janis: so bad Jimmy: kiss me Jimmy: & I'll Janis: [without hesitation] Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: you're really Jimmy: the best girlfriend Janis: for you Janis: you deserve so much Jimmy: you do Janis: you Jimmy: you Janis: [more kissing 'cos] Jimmy: [thank god cos it isn't just her being loud we ever have to worry about] Janis: fuck you're so hard baby Jimmy: I Janis: I need you Janis: real question is what would they rather, that you fuck me right here or if we go to the bathroom to blatantly do it there Jimmy: & my obvious answer is I don't know if I can move Janis: okay you stay really still then Janis: I'll make it happen Jimmy: fuck Janis: [does the thing] Jimmy: [straight up just quietly moans sorry everyone but like] Janis: now you can really feel Janis: this is exactly what you needed, isn't it Jimmy: [says yeah with his own voice moment again sorry everyone about] Janis: shit Janis: [holding his head for eye cotact again 'cos the 😍 are so real] Janis: me too Jimmy: I really love you Janis: show me, boy Jimmy: [obviously does cos does not need any encouragement at this point we're well past it] Janis: ['scuse them everyone] Janis: I actually can't breathe Jimmy: 🚭 tomorrow, yeah? Jimmy: [but is a smug face cos we know] Janis: [tells him to shut up but how much conviction are we managing tbh] Jimmy: [gives her look like I'm doing my best cos both trying not to be loud af rn] Janis: [kissing and then in his ear 'what have you done to me?'] Jimmy: everything I said I would Jimmy: wrote you a warning like Janis: I used to be so Jimmy: tell me Janis: so controlled Janis: but so Janis: bored Jimmy: [whispers 'you're welcome' in her ear and does more of his earlier kissing tricks all about there again] Janis: Baby Jimmy: [more kisses everywhere basically] Jimmy: Janis Janis: Jimmy you're so good Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you're Janis: if you say or do any more Jimmy: [whispers all the compliments and does all the things cos that bitch] Janis: [sorry everyone] Jimmy: [how do they keeping doing & getting away with this lol] Janis: I love you Jimmy: I love you too Jimmy: so much Janis: [is so dead, all snuggly and loved up] Jimmy: [likewise but after a bit hands her her drink cos they blatantly gotta drink up & go after all that] Janis: [down in fresher] Janis: oops Jimmy: [downs his own drink too] Jimmy: let's go Janis: [run lads run but hold hands 'cos soft] Jimmy: [flee the scene but make it cute] Janis: [is loling 'cos young and wild and free] Jimmy: [likewise & also 😍 cos could she look more fucking beautiful rn so cue 📷 artsy boy] Janis: [casually twirling down the street oh lads] Janis: where next? Jimmy: Are you hungry? Janis: [nods] Jimmy: there's your answer then Jimmy: [takes her to a place he likes cos more fussy than her we know] Janis: 🍽 Janis: right emoji Janis: aren't you proud Jimmy: [kisses her on the head like when you do a pat for a pisstake but also love] Janis: 😋 Jimmy: [orders a burger & a pint cos that's always a thing in so many places] Janis: [takes time 'cos when you're hungry but don't know what you want and also still lowkey distracted] Jimmy: [not helping at all by looking at her like] Janis: stop being hot for a second Janis: I'm starving here Jimmy: 🥇 always me Jimmy: soz Jimmy: like you said, never off Janis: well it's very inconsiderate of you Janis: [is grinning tho] Jimmy: [playful footsie] Jimmy: I'd order for you but not very #goals Janis: at least you won't have really pretentious taste like whatshisface Janis: doubledate dickhead Jimmy: let's call him Richard Jimmy: obvious reasons Janis: [lols] Janis: what a time Jimmy: it weren't all bad Janis: nah Janis: you were there how bad could it be Janis: even if my sister also was, not ideal Jimmy: [nudges her like shh don't make me 😳 but is smiley cos ah yeah] Jimmy: pink shirt weren't ideal either Jimmy: but you looked so fucking good Janis: n'awh Janis: you looked adorable 😉 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: why you couldn't keep your hands off me that, yeah Jimmy: adorable's your REAL type Jimmy: you're only pretending it's dickheads Janis: mhmm Janis: looked so 🤑 Jimmy: [lols] Janis: so gutted you took it back Janis: dress up for me again some time, yeah Janis: [orders] Jimmy: [gestures down at his clothes like excuse you I'm fancy rn] Janis: true Janis: but that ain't for me Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: tomorrow night then Jimmy: I'll think of summat Janis: bold of you to assume you're seeing me again Jimmy: that's how you're dumping me? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: don't worry, know you like more of a show Janis: give you that 'fore I go Jimmy: 👍 Janis: so good to you like that Jimmy: #ultimategoals you Janis: I know babe Janis: miss me when I'm gone Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: [but is looking at her like] Janis: [gives him a kiss] Jimmy: [makes it into more cos feelings & also flashbacks to what they just did] Janis: not getting kicked out of here before food, tah Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: 😇 me Janis: mhmm Janis: all know I'm the bad influence Janis: I'll take the title happily 😈💪 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with that confession babe Jimmy: #confirmed Janis: 😂 Janis: be all up in those DMs Jimmy: take over his twitter for him too Jimmy: ❌ them potential step mums before they get a foot in the door Jimmy: ✔ any 👵 for me though Janis: so what you're saying is Janis: you want me to be your momager Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll do it but I'm scooping up Ian's leftovers and 20% Jimmy: It'll tank your rep but I'm alright with it Janis: I'll keep your secret you keep mine Jimmy: What secrets have I got? Jimmy: open book me Janis: 👵👴 Janis: don't think the fan club would consider that very #goals Jimmy: 'course they would Jimmy: you're young & hot Jimmy: I love you anyway Jimmy: that's well #goals Janis: [is 😳 'cos always but smiling with it 'cos happy rn] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [kisses her again but soft] Janis: [food arrival saving us all] Jimmy: [attacks it cos hungry af boy] Janis: okay caveman Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: it's your fault I'm starving, girl Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: #ohtobeaburgeramirite Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [genuine 😍 'cos her fave sound] Jimmy: [gives her a chip cos that's love bitch] Janis: 💕 Janis: save it for the audience, mate Jimmy: [throws his unused napkin at her] Jimmy: better? Janis: charming Janis: [turns footsie into a kick] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: 💔 Janis: [rubs her feet up and down his leg] Janis: all better? Jimmy: 👍 Janis: play nice from now on and we won't have a problem yeah Jimmy: you Janis: I'm so nice Janis: ask anyone Jimmy: [lols again] Jimmy: hang on, I'll text my dad to #confirm Janis: he wishes Janis: we ain't there yet Jimmy: gutted for you both Janis: know right Janis: such a delight Janis: why he gotta play hard to get Jimmy: I'd say don't take it personal but it is Jimmy: soz Janis: 💔 Janis: c'est la vie Jimmy: trying to win the french teacher round too? Jimmy: I'll let her know Janis: 😂 Janis: she doesn't entirely hate me Janis: can do it Jimmy: challenge accepted, yeah Janis: write her an apology Janis: large print, obvs Jimmy: better yet come in and deliver it orally like she makes us when we're late Janis: ha Janis: un🍀 Jimmy: what your spanish teacher don't? Jimmy: or are you just 😇 Jimmy: & never late Janis: nah she's 'cool' and 'fit for a teacher' so Janis: clearly you weren't clued in when you were picking Janis: most our class is lads and somehow this hasn't been clocked Jimmy: 💔🎻🎻💔 Jimmy: I'll go see her monday Jimmy: get myself in Janis: err don't need you cramping my style Jimmy: don't worry you can keep all the lads Janis: 🥇 Janis: not worried Jimmy: alright dickhead Jimmy: I'm not fucking seducing every lad in your class to prove I can, like Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [throws some chips at her v mature] Janis: [lobs 'em back, children] Janis: I'm soz boys like me and not you Jimmy: you wish Jimmy: girls like you that's why we started this Janis: nah, they hate me, that's why Janis: get it right Jimmy: Mia's both Jimmy: they can be both Janis: 🙄 Janis: wow she's so complex Jimmy: must have been rigged that posh school not letting her in Janis: her mind Janis: such a genius Jimmy: bet her parents are well proud Janis: probably Janis: her dad is Janis: well ian'd probably like him, from what i've heard Jimmy: I'll invite 'em both round for tea then Janis: 😑 Janis: long as you leave with me Jimmy: not gonna leave with her, am I? Jimmy: be waiting outside the bathroom for half my life Jimmy: #glamorous Janis: sounds like she has bowel problems and you're just really rude Jimmy: 😂 Janis: seriously though Janis: even if you hate me, don't go there, that's the rules Jimmy: what about your sisters? They off limits too? Janis: I already told you that Janis: dickhead Jimmy: all of them? 💔💔💔 Jimmy: alright what about your brothers then? Janis: 😒 Jimmy: [says 'I don't want anyone else, dickhead' but there are kisses between each word like] Janis: yeah Janis: everyone rates us against each other it's just what happens Janis: used to it Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: & I'm serious Janis: alright Janis: [shrugs] Jimmy: [kisses her harder like BELIEVE ME BITCH] Jimmy: I love you, alright Janis: okay okay Janis: you had some chip still in your mouth then Janis: you gross Jimmy: I did it for you 'cause you LOVE sharing Janis: 😑 so funny you Janis: [does smile a bit though] Jimmy: [draws a smiley face with a bigger smile on the back of her hand] Janis: ['such a dork'] Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: tah Janis: 'course, baby Jimmy: where next, girl Janis: come home with me for a bit Janis: can get changed Janis: come back out later Jimmy: yeah okay Janis: 'cos I ain't getting in anywhere like this Jimmy: if I ruled the world, babe Jimmy: but too northern Jimmy: just a poor boy Janis: 💔💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: bus? Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll get it Janis: treat me when you get paid Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: let's 🚬 we're gonna be stuck on there ages Janis: just the 1 Janis: gonna get serious on you soon 💪 Jimmy: easy to say Jimmy: we'll see Jimmy: [winks] Janis: you know I can, boy Jimmy: ain't backed down from a challenge yet, I get it Janis: the only challenge is how annoying you are, babe Jimmy: 🥈 me Jimmy: you take #1 Janis: [nudges him] Janis: rude Janis: that's where you really shine Jimmy: 🥇 every time, baby Jimmy: [but kisses] Janis: don't sit next to me on this bus Jimmy: now who's rude Janis: 🥇 you said Janis: not gonna disappoint ya Jimmy: just a bit Jimmy: just this once Janis: 💯 or nothing, babe Janis: soz Jimmy: [gets down on his knees really dramatically all 'please disappoint me' cos he's a nerd] Janis: omg Janis: get up right now you massive idiot Jimmy: say yes first Janis: fine whatever Janis: just get up before a crowd gathers Jimmy: I didn't say, 'say fiine whatever first' Janis: you're taking the piss Janis: will leave you here and say it was the real thing Jimmy: you think I won't tell everyone I'm 💍 & you said no Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: I'm saying yes so get up Janis: [puts hand out like boy you better] Jimmy: [gets up, picks her up & carries her away] Janis: you know how bad for my rep you are Jimmy: the rep I gave you Janis: excuse you? Jimmy: it's a question, the one I gave you or the one you had Jimmy: 'cause I ain't soz for fucking up the controlled but bored one any time Janis: Hmm Jimmy: not an answer that Jimmy: if I'm fucking up the one I gave you, that's also bollocks Jimmy: so which one is it Janis: so what you're saying is, you can do no wrong? Janis: interesting 😏 Jimmy: if that's what you heard, I'll have that Janis: idk as long as you're off the ground I ain't arsed really Jimmy: [picks her up again and spins her round] Jimmy: & you Janis: you're having me or your gonna try and make it so I never have to touch the ground again Jimmy: maybe both Jimmy: let's see Janis: [is 😏] Jimmy: [kisses] Janis: what am I gonna do with you, honestly Jimmy: stay with me Janis: 'course Janis: not walking home Jimmy: [🚬 but sharing cos it's a mood] Janis: did you meet any of the people you're gonna be working with then Jimmy: nah Jimmy: throwing me in blind tomorrow Janis: just forward me the deets of the hot ones Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: just the girls, yeah Janis: piss off Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: [is😒] Jimmy: I'm in to open up, you want me to wake you up Jimmy: I know your god's all about the rest then Janis: nah wake me Janis: can go for a run Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: take the 🐶 for me Jimmy: if not on that one, in a bit Janis: yeah sure Janis: she can keep up 👍 Jimmy: I was gonna say tah but Jimmy: piss off instead Janis: 😘 Janis: wanna do lunch? Jimmy: depends is it gonna be 🍱 Janis: 🙄 Janis: LET.IT.GO Janis: are you really gonna turn down a chance to make me something? Jimmy: can't if you're a paying customer Janis: 😂 Janis: that's the spirit Jimmy: not just a pretty face Jimmy: did help me get the job though Janis: [squishes his cheeks] Janis: how exactly do you drop hints you're fit on your CV Jimmy: it's in the hobbies Jimmy: like how you're such an athlete Janis: ahh Janis: and Pete's band Janis: 😎 Janis: I get it 👍 for the tip Jimmy: not that you need it, rich girl Jimmy: but Jimmy: that helpful me Janis: shut up Janis: not like my parents just give me everything Janis: can get a job if I wanna Jimmy: never said you couldn't Jimmy: you just don't have to Jimmy: so why would you Janis: so I can buy things Janis: or save Janis: same reasons as everyone else Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: well you'll be able to write a decent CV now so Janis: tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [on ze bus] Jimmy: what we doing tonight then? Jimmy: decided Janis: still thinking Janis: but it's a surprise anyway Jimmy: alright Janis: gotta be something worthy this fair city can offer Jimmy: if you say so Janis: don't put a downer on it 'fore I've even decided, thank you Jimmy: life & soul me Jimmy: [isn't] Janis: what's wrong Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: like I said Janis: okay then Jimmy: just Janis: you can tell me Jimmy: it's bollocks but Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: tomorrow Janis: you nervous? Janis: that's normal ain't it, anyone would be Jimmy: but it ain't normal for your dad to be a massive dickhead about something that's Jimmy: like I said, I don't know Janis: a good thing, yeah Janis: it's his normal Janis: still don't make it right though Janis: what did he say then Jimmy: he just Jimmy: gets in my head Jimmy: [shrugs but we know] Janis: yeah Janis: least he's good at something Janis: [squeezes his shoulder] Jimmy: [puts his head on hers forlornly] Janis: [strokes his hair] Janis: it will be alright Janis: any time away from him Janis: yeah Janis: and I'll be keeping an eye on the dog and kids Janis: no worries Janis: it is a good thing, like you said, any excuse with him init so fuck it Jimmy: & you're coming to see me, yeah Janis: yeah Janis: you want me to, right? Jimmy: I need you to Jimmy: for tomorrow Janis: then I'll be there Jimmy: [kisses her cos she's the best ever good day] Janis: [ily] Jimmy: [snuggles cos why not] Janis: alright now? Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: sorry Janis: nah, don't be Janis: not like I didn't know but Janis: distractions more fun than chatting about it ain't it Jimmy: & I don't wanna put a downer on everything actually Jimmy: that's not Janis: I know Janis: don't worry, honestly Jimmy: I'll be more fun in a bit Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: probably Janis: you've been plenty fun Janis: we really can do whatever you want Janis: that's the whole point Jimmy: I just wanna forget about it Jimmy: him Jimmy: that bollocks Janis: 👍 Janis: let's do that then Janis: easy Jimmy: [cue bus make out session] Janis: you know I'd do a lot worse things than walk your dog and come to lunch with you yeah Jimmy: you offering to kill Ian? Janis: [lols] Janis: exactly Janis: say the word Jimmy: I can't let you, I can't fuck you in prison unless we're married & we already said that's a no go Janis: that's so unfair Janis: who's made up that rule Jimmy: a hopeless romantic maybe Jimmy: fuck knows Jimmy: [is smiling a little bit] Jimmy: so what else would you do? Janis: clearly nothing illegal Janis: although I wouldn't get caught, have some faith Janis: but idk Janis: easy to say anything you needed Janis: but you don't know 'til you have to do you Jimmy: I know, baby Jimmy: you're SUCH an athlete Jimmy: 💕😍 Jimmy: [more genuine smile] Jimmy: I need nowt but you right now Jimmy: & tomorrow Janis: yeah, so don't get on my bad side Janis: w your 📷 neither Janis: done then Jimmy: you don't have a bad side with my 📷 Janis: shh Jimmy: [takes a pic & shows her it like see here's the proof] Jimmy: you don't Janis: you're biased Jimmy: the camera can't be Jimmy: you're so beautiful, alright Janis: [very 😳] Jimmy: [soft kisses on her blushes and just everywhere tbh] Janis: ['Jimmy'] Jimmy: [more kisses cos who doesn't love a name drop] Janis: you really are Janis: nice Janis: you know Jimmy: you're nice to me so I'm nice to you Janis: yeah Janis: it's a deal Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: [more snuggles] Janis: [the look of love] Jimmy: [backacha] Janis: you told Cass you got it Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: she wants to come scope the place Jimmy: see if it's 😎 Janis: 'course Janis: only seal of approval that counts these days Jimmy: I already know she's gonna tell me it's shit Jimmy: whatever she really thinks Janis: 😂 Janis: kids Jimmy: don't let her come with you though Jimmy: not day 1 Janis: 'course not Janis: probably doing loads way cooler things anyway, God Jimmy: course Jimmy: out being #goals with that boy like she invented it instead of us Janis: cheek Janis: you're all about #respectingyourelders tho Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: that what we're calling it Jimmy: I'll let Doris know Janis: 🤢 Janis: [does the fake vom thing] Jimmy: like I said, so beautiful you Janis: 😂 Janis: even without wrinkles Jimmy: impressive, isn't it? Jimmy: well done, babe Janis: you alright Janis: even though you don't play bass Jimmy: that you know of Jimmy: could've been the best bassist in the north Janis: if you've got hidden talents Janis: why you hiding them from me? 🤔 Jimmy: what are you always going on about, keeping things #fresh Janis: oh I get it Janis: gonna reveal 'em one by one instead Janis: so like you, show-off Jimmy: might do Jimmy: stick around & find out Janis: edge of my seat, babe Janis: [does, 'cos dork] Jimmy: [pulls her off her seat and onto his lap cos it's been what like a whole minute since she was last there lol] Jimmy: got you where I want you then Janis: oh Janis: [cue makeout sesh] Jimmy: kissing you is Jimmy: it's like Janis: please only finish that sentence if you're gonna say something nice or I'll have to go die Jimmy: it's like I'm not breathing when we're not & then you kiss me back & I can Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: just don't die is what I'm saying really Janis: [gives him loads of extra kisses] Janis: don't you either Jimmy: I can't promise that going back to slinging overpriced ☕ won't 💀 me Janis: 🎻 Janis: I'll keep you going Jimmy: promise Janis: promise Janis: [puts hand out[ Jimmy: [same] Janis: don't go dying Janis: make me look bad now Jimmy: easier to just ghost you the standard way Janis: please Janis: like fuck it is Jimmy: don't challenge me Jimmy: I don't actually wanna Janis: shut up then Jimmy: make me then Janis: you ain't getting kisses for that motherfucker Jimmy: you've fucked up on this whole real girlfriend thing Jimmy: I can get kisses whenever I want Jimmy: that's the deal Janis: steady on Janis: not that much of a virgin thanks creep Jimmy: [lols] Janis: been warned about boys like you Jimmy: probably should've listened, girl Janis: nah Janis: [the eye contact] Jimmy: [holds it but then is just shamelessly looking at her lips like is he aware we'll never know] Janis: do it Jimmy: what Janis: you know what Jimmy: say it Janis: why are you so Janis: [still staring] Jimmy: go on Janis: bloody difficult Janis: [but out loud 'kiss me'] Jimmy: [does & it's everything] Janis: why do you have to make me work for it 😏 Jimmy: 'cause you were so bored before Jimmy: no going back Janis: ugh Jimmy: that ain't the reaction a kiss from me deserves Jimmy: [kisses her again & it's even more] Jimmy: try again Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: Janis Janis: [makes noise of frustration] Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: I hate you so much Jimmy: then show me Janis: [biting on love bites and not being soft with her kisses] Jimmy: only that much? Jimmy: come on Janis: [angry noises and grinding her hips into his roughly] Janis: I can't begin to show you how much I hate you here Jimmy: sounds like an excuse to me Jimmy: maybe you just love me so much Jimmy: cute 💕 Janis: don't challenge me Jimmy: it's alright, I know you can't do it Jimmy: [gives her a soft kiss for the pisstake cos that dickhead] Janis: I swear to God Jimmy: do something Jimmy: even if it's drag me off this bus Janis: [presses stop button] Janis: alright then Jimmy: [eye contact until the bus stops] Janis: remember I warned you Jimmy: remember I ignored it Janis: remind yourself Jimmy: I won't need to Jimmy: I'll have all the reminders I need Janis: [getting off the bus like bye bus driver #gutted] Jimmy: [make it more obvious though you two] Janis: come on, can go in here Janis: [at least middle of nowhere means this is almost acceptable] Jimmy: [follows her giving her such a look] Janis: ['stop looking at me like that'] Jimmy: [doesn't] Janis: [comes up and puts her hands over his eyes which would blatantly devolve into sexy playfight] Jimmy: I let you win Janis: Well, I might let you cum as well, if you do what I want Jimmy: [asks her what she wants out loud] Janis: [pushes him on his knees like he was earlier] Janis: don't disappoint me Jimmy: no challenge in that but I accept Janis: stop talking Jimmy: [does the lock & key thing over his mouth cos still a nerd but then it's all business] Janis: [keeping his head in place and moving him as necessary, 'good boy'] Jimmy: [has one job rn & you know he's doing it 👍] Janis: ['stop'] Jimmy: [obviously does & has a bemused look on his face like okay what now] Janis: ['okay get up' and then starts walking] Jimmy: [just following all these instructions bless him] Janis: [when she realizes he ain't said nothing 'you can talk again, if you want to, by the way'] Jimmy: tah Jimmy: see how I feel Jimmy: might do, might not do Janis: your prerogative either way Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [is 🚬] Jimmy: [lights up too cos yolo] Janis: reall should hit up the ginger Janis: y* Jimmy: remind me on monday Jimmy: busy day tomorrow Janis: 👍 Jimmy: forgot her name again Jimmy: hope she likes the one I give her Janis: no doubt Janis: it's your forte Jimmy: 💕 Janis: wonder who she's with Janis: what cult, like Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: hope the colour suits me Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: what am I on about, 'course it will Jimmy: what colour don't Janis: thank christ, 'cos you still ain't allowed to kill yourself so Janis: have fun getting outta the mass suicide Jimmy: I'll get creative Jimmy: artist like so Janis: going above and beyond for that A Jimmy: nerd, me Jimmy: you're always chatting that Janis: you usually disagree Jimmy: maybe in that one class you've got a point Jimmy: [shrugs] Janis: [shrugs back] Jimmy: [casually blowing smoke rings & generally pissing about] Janis: how'd'ya do that then Jimmy: [shows her] Janis: I'll practice Jimmy: it won't take much Jimmy: nowt hard about it Janis: how long you smoked Jimmy: since my mum left Jimmy: found a pack in her stuff Janis: [nods] Jimmy: you? Janis: I mean I don't Janis: but I guess the first time I tried it would've been Janis: idek, young, tryna hang with the older kids, you know how it is Jimmy: hate to be that dickhead but you are right now Jimmy: you do Janis: yeah but only when you're about Janis: it ain't the same Jimmy: it ain't no different Jimmy: you're still doing it Janis: not a habit though Janis: what does it matter anyway Jimmy: [shrugs again] Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what's your issue Janis: what's yours Jimmy: not an answer Janis: [shrugs] Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: let's leave it yeah Janis: we don't need this today Jimmy: leave what Jimmy: what's wrong? Janis: I don't know Jimmy: what did I do? Janis: nothing Janis: it's not you Jimmy: that's the shit that gets said when it is you though Janis: it's the shit that gets said when I don't wanna talk about it Janis: dunno how Janis: I'm sorry Janis: forget it happened Jimmy: how? Jimmy: proper question Janis: easy Janis: just rewind, what were we talking about before it went shit and weird Jimmy: scroll up Jimmy: I don't know Janis: we could just start over now Jimmy: go on then Janis: why me Jimmy: you wanna Jimmy: your idea Janis: no point if you don't let's just Janis: walk Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [awkward silence] Jimmy: [smoking like it's his job] Janis: this is stupid isn't it Jimmy: I ain't gonna make you chat to me if you don't want to Janis: it was you who said you didn't want to Jimmy: I never Janis: yes you did Janis: literally gave it 👍 Jimmy: spouting bollocks like nowt's wrong ain't chatting Janis: that's all chatting is Janis: ask anyone Jimmy: I don't wanna chat to anyone else I wanna chat to you Jimmy: & you know how I feel about that shit, I've said it Janis: I can't be real right now Jimmy: then don't Jimmy: I ain't asked you to fill no silences Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you should still stay at ours Janis: get a decent night's sleep Jimmy: I weren't thinking of staying nowhere else Jimmy: now I am Janis: well don't Janis: just said you should stay Jimmy: nah you said I should 'still' Jimmy: that means you don't want me to but Janis: It means even though I can't Janis: I don't know Janis: function Janis: right now Janis: I still want you to stay Jimmy: you really think I would leave you Jimmy: like this Janis: don't be dramatic about it though Janis: I'm fine I just needto Jimmy: what Janis: go Janis: just mentally just for like an hour or something Janis: I need to not be here Jimmy: do it then Janis: but Janis: it's mental Janis: and you need me right now and there's no time for this to get in the way and Jimmy: I need you all the time, it makes no difference Janis: that's the problem Jimmy: not the first time I've been or been called that Jimmy: so like I said Janis: not you, not what I meant Jimmy: it's what you said Jimmy: so listen to what I'm saying Janis: you don't get it Jimmy: I get checking out Jimmy: been there, done it Jimmy: so go Janis: I fucking can't Jimmy: bollocks can't you Janis: I can't it don't work no more Jimmy: what will? Jimmy: do that instead Janis: I don't know Janis: if I knew we wouldn't be here Jimmy: where the fuck are we? Janis: I'm scared Janis: all the time Jimmy: why? Jimmy: what is it? Janis: you've broken it and I can't do it anymore and that's okay like nearly all of time because you're here but sometimes you aren't and then one day you won't be and what do I do if I still can't do it then 'cos it's just going to be even worse and I can't Jimmy: [holds onto her] Jimmy: I'm here Jimmy: & I'm not going anywhere Janis: but you will Janis: it's a stupid promise to even have to make Janis: people leave, end of Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: I love you so it's an easy promise, alright Janis: you were joking but you really did fuck up all the control I had Janis: now I don't know what I have, that was it Jimmy: you've got me Jimmy: this Janis: it's Janis: terrifying, I told you Jimmy: 'cause it's real Jimmy: you think that control wasn't just all bollocks Jimmy: you have something to lose now Jimmy: so do I Jimmy: but we're not gonna, okay Jimmy: just win Jimmy: that's it Janis: 'course it was but it was Janis: easy Janis: and no one could get hurt but me Janis: I don't care about me but I do about you Janis: so much Janis: too much Jimmy: it was safe but you are with me Jimmy: & I am with you Jimmy: I trust you, you know that Janis: I trust you Janis: but I don't know why you trust me when I'm this Janis: and have been this so many times already Jimmy: what am I if not that too? Janis: no Janis: you're better Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I'm scared, I'm fucked up, I'm everything you reckon you are Jimmy: it's doing shit anyway that's what's better Jimmy: keeping this anyway Jimmy: we can be the ones who don't leave Janis: yeah? Jimmy: remember, we're not gonna ruin it Jimmy: you said Janis: I know Janis: it's easy to say things though Jimmy: let me show you how easy it is to do then Jimmy: just come with me Jimmy: keep going Jimmy: & I'll prove it Janis: [nods] Janis: okay Jimmy: [takes her hand so they can keep walking how symbolic boy] Janis: you know I love you Jimmy: [nods] Janis: good Jimmy: you know you can tell me anything, yeah? Jimmy: or nowt Jimmy: if that's what you want Janis: I know I wish I could Janis: sometimes Janis: then other times I wish I never had to speak about any of it again Jimmy: have it either way, I mean it Jimmy: I'm still here Janis: I know Janis: same for you Jimmy: I'm sorry for being a dickhead Janis: when Janis: actual question, not a diss Jimmy: at any point Janis: I like it Janis: you Janis: I like you Jimmy: yeah but if you didn't like me any time from when we got off the bus til now 'cause I was being a dickhead then, that's alright Jimmy: & I'm sorry Janis: you weren't though Janis: seriously Jimmy: I could've been Jimmy: we don't know when it got weird Janis: I do but I don't wanna Janis: it's okay Janis: actually was not you Jimmy: okay Janis: I promise, yeah Jimmy: [picks her up so he can hold her & walk at the same time] Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you Janis: but if you make me cry I am gonna have to die sorry Janis: don't make the rules Jimmy: don't count if I'm not looking Jimmy: very focused right now me Janis: nah, I don't, I can't Janis: but I'm pleased you're taking your job here seriously Jimmy: when we get to yours I'll throw an onion at you or whatever Jimmy: we can make it work Janis: [actual little lol] Janis: you're silly Jimmy: you're heavy Janis: bit rude but Janis: [hops down] Jimmy: Oi, I'm trying to take my job here seriously Jimmy: come back Janis: I don't want to permanently injure you Janis: not paying off that claim, soz Jimmy: 1. have some faith please Jimmy: 2. gimme that get out of work excuse tah Janis: 1. I do but apparently am size of whale so Janis: 2. you already owe me dinner so Janis: 3. soz x2 Jimmy: 1. piss off/shut up Jimmy: 2. I ain't that close to the breadline calm down Janis: 1. but I ain't even filling silences rn rude Janis: 2. have you seen me? clearly can put it away Jimmy: eat as much coal as you want, babe Jimmy: delicious & nutritious Janis: don't people like Mia actually do that Jimmy: do they? Jimmy: what the fuck Janis: maybe I've got the wrong thing Janis: like pumping your stomach at home though, when you think about it Jimmy: serious question, do you think she knows the calories of cum in case of emergencies Jimmy: tweet her Janis: [snorts] Janis: I have no doubt Janis: sure Gracie has tried to tell me before Jimmy: I doubt she's putting anything in her mouth but their skulls at the end but Jimmy: gotta be prepared Janis: bet she was actually in the guides Janis: any chance to feel like head bitch Jimmy: you ain't talking to her but I'm gonna need to quiz Grace as #1 bestie for life Janis: she ain't talking to me Jimmy: ain't that same difference Jimmy: or is it like that girl code bollocks again Janis: it's completely different Janis: I ain't never talked to her that's the same as ever Janis: she was always chatting shit to me though Jimmy: back chatting it to Mia again instead Jimmy: what a step down Jimmy: bet she's a riveting girl to have a convo with Janis: clearly they've got enough in common Jimmy: how long do you seriously reckon before I'm serving them all iced coffees again? Janis: if it's tomorrow I will have to leave Jimmy: if it's tomorrow I'll have to 💀 Jimmy: I know it's breaking my promise but Janis: understandable Jimmy: I'll keep the one where I'm a ghost fucking you though Janis: 💕 Janis: you say the sweetest things Jimmy: #maybeIwasthelastofthegreatromanticsallalong Jimmy: #plottwist Jimmy: #Ionlythoughtitwasyou Janis: not gonna say I #calledit but Janis: so soft, you Jimmy: you fucked up there Jimmy: you meant hard Jimmy: 💪 Janis: only when you're fucking me from beyond the grave Jimmy: [lols] Jimmy: who says the sweetest things really though 💕😍 Janis: when I stopped you Janis: earlier, you know Janis: it wasn't 'cos of you Janis: or 'cos I even wanted to Janis: I just wanted to prove to myself I still had control Janis: how stupid is that Janis: but you should know that, I don't want you reckoning you did anything Janis: and the more I'm thinking on it the more I realize that was kinda a fucked thing to do to you too so Janis: sorry as well Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: & it's not stupid Jimmy: things have changed for me too 'cause of you Jimmy: neither of us were expecting nowt like this to happen Janis: yeah Janis: seriously Jimmy: It's alright you know Jimmy: to be scared Jimmy: to wanna go back Janis: I don't Janis: this is better in every way Janis: it's the idea of having to go back after Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: I told you, I'm not leaving Janis: [nods] Jimmy: [kisses her the way he did earlier like believe me bitch & repeats it out loud with eye contact like am I lying, no] Janis: [the most intense kissing ever] Jimmy: [breathlessly says 'there's nowt I wouldn't do for you, tell me how to prove it & I will' with more intense eye contact] Janis: ['you don't have to..you have, you are'] Jimmy: [more of the most intense kissing ever] Janis: [keeps saying 'I'm sorry' over and over 'cos so shamed] Jimmy: [keeps saying ILY to try and cancel it out cos don't be] Janis: [let her gain some composure so they can go back to Cali's] Janis: okay, I'm ready Jimmy: [handholding & walking] Janis: you ain't gonna worry about me are you Janis: tomorrow Janis: you gotta focus Jimmy: I'm gonna think about you Jimmy: but that's just part of the deal Janis: no more than usual and that's alright Jimmy: easy to say when you don't know how much I think about you usually Janis: Babe Jimmy: It's alright, I want you in my head all the time Jimmy: better than him being Janis: [squeezes his hand] Janis: not much of a compliment but I'll take it Jimmy: that's a first Janis: ['shh' and pushing into him, gently tho] Jimmy: tomorrow Jimmy: you can stay as long as you want Jimmy: you know Janis: Yeah Janis: not trying to distract you though Jimmy: I don't have to focus to make a cappuccino Jimmy: or nowt else on the menu Jimmy: stay Jimmy: not 'cause I'm worried just 'cause Jimmy: I want you to Janis: okay Janis: after I've walked the loml, of course Jimmy: course Jimmy: #priorities Janis: bring her in for a babyccino Jimmy: [rolls his eyes but not in a shady way] Jimmy: this is the girlfriend I've got Janis: Twix? Janis: Knew you loved her really Janis: it's mutual Jimmy: you wish, dickhead Jimmy: she ain't sleeping in our bed Janis: we barely fit so I don't reckon she'd wanna Jimmy: you'd really let that stop either of you, would you? Jimmy: I don't reckon Janis: nah Janis: it's the only time I get you properly alone Janis: not gonna share, soz Jimmy: you can have me anywhere Jimmy: don't worry about that Janis: yeah but everyone else is always around too Janis: know how I feel about other people Jimmy: you want alone time, I'll find it for us Jimmy: we can bin school off for a start Janis: yeah Janis: just not tuesday Janis: cheerleading duties, remember Jimmy: I ain't forgotten Jimmy: big plans Jimmy: 💙 Janis: love you dork Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I'm too 😎 for school Jimmy: & you Janis: 😏 Janis: k babes Jimmy: never type that to me again Jimmy: I thought your sister had entered the chat Jimmy: shit myself Janis: 😂 Janis: not the sister you were planning on next I take it Jimmy: she's bottom of my list Jimmy: rather fuck your dickhead brother over her Janis: lucky/shame I ain't talking to her to say 💔 Janis: can let Pablo know he's well in though 👍 Jimmy: if you wanna use that as a ice breaker with her, go on Jimmy: & yeah pass my number on once I've done the top of the list, tah Janis: meant to work your way up, you know Jimmy: if I start at the top & have enough fun I don't need to bother with the bottom though Janis: not just a pretty face, you, I remember Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: always on too, remember Janis: yeah Janis: memories not that bad Janis: soz babe Jimmy: plenty of time for you to go downhill Jimmy: not worried Janis: I'm gonna age like fine wine just to piss you off Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [smiling 'cos forever fave] Jimmy: let's stay in Janis: yeah? Janis: you sure Jimmy: don't you want to? Janis: no, I was just thinking, whatever you want Janis: don't feel like we can't go somewhere 'cos I've had a wobble like Jimmy: I don't feel like that Janis: well you know I want alone time so Jimmy: you can have it then Janis: [kisses his cheek] Janis: you gotta be well-rested anyway Jimmy: [wipes it off but is smiling too] Jimmy: you saying I can't handle my drink? Jimmy: bit rude coming from you Janis: I'm saying straight to bed for you Jimmy: keeping it 👵💕 for me, yeah Jimmy: appreciate that Janis: duh Janis: know you so well Jimmy: 👍 Janis: my Dad'll probably wanna cook you something Janis: he's extra like that Jimmy: alright by me Jimmy: long as you tell me what it is Jimmy: before I put it in my mouth Janis: 😂 Janis: okay deal Jimmy: [puts his hand out] Janis: [shakes but plls him in for snugs too] Jimmy: [a soft moment] Janis: [ily] Jimmy: I know Janis: sound more enthused 😏 Jimmy: [kisses her and repeats the I know out loud] Janis: Better Jimmy: [kisses her again to do even better] Janis: 😍 Janis: okay, you're the best Jimmy: you Janis: ['you'] Jimmy: [more soft snuggles for another moment] Janis: [stroking his cheek and look of love always] Janis: okay, let's move or we'll die here Jimmy: [more walking & handholding cos gotta get somewhere] Janis: thanks for not freaking out back there Jimmy: you've never at me Jimmy: my bollocks Jimmy: so I weren't gonna do that to you Janis: guess you're just pretty normie, yeah Janis: [shoulder nudge] Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: [nudges her back] Janis: it's okay, you'll always be a weirdo to me 💕 Jimmy: tah nerd 💕 Janis: soz can't hear you 😎 Jimmy: [says 'I said, tah you massive nerd' in her ear] Janis: [lols 'cos tickles and be more of a nerd yourself babe] Jimmy: [is 😍 cos she's so cute] Janis: how do you exist Janis: still think you're not real tbh Jimmy: I've actually been a ghost this whole time Jimmy: surprise Janis: [snorts] Janis: okay, actual decent plottwist babe Jimmy: nobody else can see me & you've looked fucking mental this whole time Janis: ugh Janis: well fuck you very much, casper Jimmy: it's why they're all chatting shit about you, didn't wanna do a dramatic reveal like this but Janis: well yeah, I would be too if someone was having that enthusiastic a wank in the toilets, like Janis: no coming back from this, honestly Jimmy: [lols again] Janis: not even like you're a cool vampire boyfriend so you can turn me too now you've fucked my life Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: who's your money on for sparkly vampire of our school then Janis: I need to know asap Jimmy: Mia obviously Jimmy: never eats Jimmy: looks 1000 years old Janis: shit Janis: you have a point and I'm so Jimmy: you've really fucked yourself for immortal life, girl Jimmy: stuck with the 👻 Janis: 's alright Janis: gone off the idea Janis: already sick of her, I can't do forever Janis: breaking her cold dead 💔 Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: you'd make a good vampire Jimmy: always biting already you Janis: [😳] Janis: shut up Janis: you like it Jimmy: do you want me to shut up or tell you how much I like it? Jimmy: can't do both Janis: just don't lie Jimmy: I don't Janis: good Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you do though, don't you Jimmy: I just said Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: like it, I mean Janis: you'd say if you didn't Jimmy: course Jimmy: but you'd be able to tell anyway Janis: yeah Janis: 'course Jimmy: I'd be there like Jimmy: [does a grumpy face] Janis: I mean Janis: that is adorable but I can piss you off in so many different ways outside the bedroom so Jimmy: just Jimmy: don't second guess yourself, alright Jimmy: there's no need Janis: okay Janis: good Janis: 'cos you gotta tell me, I can't be going out into the world with no skills Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: you know you've got skills Jimmy: you're so fucking good Janis: you can shh now Jimmy: you can't fish for compliments if you won't take 'em Jimmy: bit rude Janis: I wasn't fishing for fucking compliments 😑 Janis: shut up Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: & just take 'em Janis: [let's say they there and she walking inside like boy bye] Jimmy: really Jimmy: 👌 Janis: yeah Janis: come find me when you're gonna be nice again Jimmy: you come find me when you work out I were being Janis: sure Janis: calling me an attention seeker is dead nice Jimmy: I didn't Janis: 👌 Janis: did though so Jimmy: you know that ain't what I meant or what I think Janis: whatever Jimmy: do you know that or not? Janis: it don't matter then Jimmy: that's not an answer to a yes or no question Janis: just come find me Jimmy: just gimme your answer Janis: well I don't know Janis: I hadn't thought about it 'til you said it so Jimmy: either I'm that dickhead or I'm not so Janis: you said you ain't so you ain't Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: I can say owt I want Jimmy: what are you saying Janis: why'd you have to say it like that Janis: dickhead Janis: but I guess I know you didn't mean it Janis: I mean, I believe you Jimmy: why do you have to take it like that Jimmy: you're a dickhead Jimmy: can't take a compliment but you'll grab all the insults that ain't there Janis: erm how do you want me to take 'fishing for compliments' exactly Jimmy: how I meant it Jimmy: only pissing about Janis: fine Janis: whatever just forget about it Jimmy: stop telling me to forget about everything Janis: well I don't wanna talk about it now it's pointless Jimmy: then just say that Janis: well you know that's what I meant so now you're just being pedantic for the sake of Jimmy: & you're using fancy words for the sake of, rich girl Janis: please Jimmy: what are you trying to start a fight with me for? Janis: I ain't Janis: sorry I didn't find it funny alright Janis: come on Jimmy: you come on Jimmy: I don't live here Jimmy: I ain't just chasing around like I do Janis: really Jimmy: taking issue with that too now? Janis: yeah because you want me to Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: I want you to come back Janis: youcan't just drop it you have to keep going Jimmy: what Janis: I don't make you chase me 'round Janis: that's bullshit Jimmy: you're literally telling me to right now Janis: I'm telling you to come to my room Janis: you know where it is Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [arrives] Janis: ['hey'] Jimmy: [just sits on the end of her bed like] Janis: you not talking to me Jimmy: are you gonna keep talking owt I say the wrong way Janis: [sighs but real not in a passive-aggressive way] Janis: I can't help how I take shit any more than you can help how you say it Janis: I can't say any more than I believe that you didn't mean it, alright Janis: it's too late to not misunderstand, yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: actual alright or shut the fuck up alright Jimmy: alright like I want it to be Jimmy: so just come sit with me Janis: [does, puts her head on his shoulder] Janis: why's it so hard sometimes Jimmy: [plays with her hair cos fave] Jimmy: I told you, I'm fucked up like you reckon you are Janis: reckon Janis: how are you reckoning any different, boy Jimmy: 'Cause Jimmy: I just do Janis: [lols but obvs not a happy one] Janis: sweet Jimmy: you're loads of things to me Jimmy: fucked up ain't one Jimmy: my ex was, I am Jimmy: you're Jimmy: that ain't how I see you Janis: not gonna argue about this as well Janis: I don't want to Janis: I am but if you wanna think otherwise then that's alright with me Jimmy: what do you want then Janis: just Janis: be with each other Janis: normal Jimmy: [snuggles] Janis: ['I'm sorry, again'] Jimmy: ['me too'] Janis: [saying things like 'it's okay, we're okay' over and over but also asking as well as telling, like] Jimmy: [all the reassuring touches & nods and 'yeahs'] Janis: [they both need so much reassuring bye] Janis: I love you so much Jimmy: [says it out loud for her] Janis: [casual desperate kissing 'cos you overwhelmed[ Jimmy: [we know that'd go on for a while] Janis: [also says it out loud] Jimmy: [just doing the whole trying to pull her closer thing the whole time cos clingy af] Janis: ['stay'] Jimmy: ['I promise']

[golbrocklovely]

🌈anon again! Except i’m trying to write a story and your a writer so i would like your opinion :’)

        It was a cold February morning and i didnt have class in a hour. so i decided to head to the nearby cafe for a hot cup of coffee . i stood in the mirror and sighed, my red lock of hair were a mess as always. I grabbed the brush off my dresser and slowly ran it through my hair. i winced as it caught knots. this was always the part i dreaded in the morning. after my hair was decent looking i looked through my closet and realized that i needed to do laundry.  great. i grabbed a light blue band T- shirt and sniffed it, good enough. i threw it on and smoothed out the wrinkles and threw on the nearest pair of jeans off of the floor. 

        my roommate azzy was a sleeping as always, with her power of teleportation she could sleep in until the last 5 minutes before school officially started. she also along with most people in this school ignored me. the main reason being that i never got my ability on my 5th birthday like everyone else did. i grabbed my car keys as i walked out the door, as i walked to my car i texted my brother asking if he wanted to join me. i walked out and shivered, man it was cold. i walked to my car and hit the button on the key to unlock and just as i had climbed in I got a text from my brother yeah sure i'm on my way . I sighed. Great now I had to wait for his lazy pain in the rear. Poor yoki she has to sit here in the freezing cold.  i scrolled through instagram while i waited, nothing good. ten minutes later had passed eventually and he still wasn't out yet. i shot him another text, are you coming or am i leaving without you and making you walk?   just then i saw him walking out. His golden locks brushing his shoulders and is piercing ice blue eyes locked with mine, he was only wearing a Shirt and shorts.it was perfect for him, having ice powers and all he was perfect child. always has always will be. 

        He got into the car and shut the door " hey sis, looking fabulous this morning"  i stared at him for a moment and then rolled my eyes.

" i hope you get frostbite" i said as i drove off to the cafe knowing full well that it wasn't physically possible, what a shame really. As i drove i thought about how all of my family thought that i was going toget fire powers of some sort since my hair is red, and when when my fifth birthday came around everyone stared in disapointment, it even causd my parents to split because my dad thought my mom cheated with a " normal". 

hey rainbow anon !

i think the story has a really cool concept. i won't get into grammatical errors or anything like that, i'll just get into some structure stuff and just how i would word some of this. i just wanted to say that you have a really good, solid story so far, this is just me picking out things that could be changed around if you so choose to do so. some of this might come across as nitpicky so i don't want you to think i'm shitting on you or saying your story is bad. it's a good one so far, this is just what i would personally do if this was my story.

and of course if you don't like what i suggest, feel free to ignore it ! :)

idk if this is the beginning of your story, or just part way thru, but i think the first sentence's wording is a bit off bc the part "and i didn't have class in a hour" sort of implies that we as an audience would already know she does or at least assume she would, so i would suggest maybe saying instead "It was a cold February morning, and my first class wasn't for another hour."

something about the sentences "i winced as it caught knots. this was always the part i dreaded in the morning." reads a bit choppy to me so i would maybe word it like "I dreaded this part; I winced, my brush catching some knots." or something like that. you could also go into why she dreads brushing her hair: is it bc it's really curly? is it messy and unkempt for the most part? what about it makes her dread brushing it? also, if it's not that deep (like if there really is no reason for her to dread brushing her hair), you could always change the word dread to hate or something similar.

i would remove the word "looking" from the phrase "decent looking" since you use the word "looked" immediately after. i always try not to use the same word back to back in my writing. "great" and "good enough" could be italicized if they're internal thoughts, and if not you could always remove them since it's clear by her actions that that's what she's thinking anyway. and then for the last sentence i would write "I threw it on and smoothed out the wrinkles, grabbing the nearest pair of jeans and sliding them up my legs." that way you don't repeat threw twice.

i would also add that she's wearing a jacket, since you make it apparent that it's cold and in february. unless there is a hidden meaning to her not needing a jacket (like if she secretly does have fire powers). and if that is the case, maybe have her wear a jacket but get really hot quickly.

the word "also" in "she also along with most people in this school ignored me." makes the sentence a bit clunky so i would remove it to make it into "She, along with most people at this school, ignored me."

the next couple sentences i would rework just bc you end up saying "walked" or "walked to my car" four times and it's just restarting the sentence over again. so i would end up writing something like "I grabbed my car keys as I walked out the door. While going to my car I texted my brother, asking him if he wanted to join me. I shivered, Man, it was cold. As I unlocked my car and climbed in, he responded: yeah sure i'm on my way."

i'm not sure what or who yoki is so you might want to explain that to the readers haha (unless i'm completely dumb or missing something). i just realized idk if that's the main character's name, and if it is, don't change to third person mid way through. you could have her internally say "crap, now i have to sit in the freezing cold" or something like that, if yoki is the name of this character. but if that's not her name, ignore me. sorry, i'm just a bit confused by that sentence lol

i would condense the sentences "i scrolled through instagram while i waited, nothing good. ten minutes later had passed eventually and he still wasn't out yet." into something like "I scrolled through Instagram to pass the time, and ten minutes later he still wasn't out."

the last three sentences of this part i would change around a bit. i would write "Just then, he walked outside. His golden locks brushed against his shoulders as his piercing, icy blue eyes locked with mine. He only wore a t-shirt and shorts. His ice powers made it easy for him to withstand cold weather."

and then for the part of her saying "he was perfect child. always has always will be." i would save saying something like for the last paragraph when you start to get into her family and their lore/history/past. it feels a bit out of place for her to look at her brother and think he's the perfect child randomly. did someone else in their family have ice powers and that's why he's seen as perfect? or is just bc he had powers while she didn't? you don't have to explain that immediately, just noting that that is something to think about incorporating into this story.

i like the frostbite dialogue, i would tweak it just a bit and write ""I hope you get frostbite," I said bitterly. Too bad that can't actually happen."

then when she starts thinking about her family, maybe have something that triggers her to start thinking about them. like maybe her brother can say something about mom and dad or some other family member, or maybe he could accidently bring up the fact that she doesn't have powers (teasingly, or even rudely if that's how he is towards her). maybe even have him make the comment about her hair being red and if only you had gotten fire powers you wouldn't be so cold or something like that. that way, she can start talking about her family without it feeling misplaced or out of the blue.

then i would have her go into her past with her family, and why her brother was always seen as the golden child/the perfect child. you don't have to physically write all of this out right away, this is more stuff that you can explore in the story as a whole. idk how far along you are so you might have already.

the reason he's perfect: is it only bc he has powers or was it bc he was just drastically different compared to her? like, is he the polar opposite to what she's like? and if he is the polar opposite, maybe show that by making him more prim and proper to her more go with the flow/lazy/dishelved look. maybe make him wear nicer clothes, while she's in jeans and tshirt. you don't have to do that, but it's a suggestion.

and if he's liked more, or seen as the perfect child, only bc he has powers, you should hone in on the disappointment she and her family felt when she didn't get powers. maybe have her recall that birthday in detail, and then the fighting that caused her parents to split. was it immediate or was it drawn out? did the fighting happen in front of her? is her dad resentful towards her? does he even think she's his kid? these are just somethings to think about. and again, you don't have to write all of this in these first couple paragraphs. but you can explain some stuff just to give the readers the sense of how different her life is compared to her brother's life.

hopefully this helps. again, if you don't like any of my suggestions feel free to not use them. this is just how i would write this if it was my story :)

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Just about Janis: Won't tell anyone you didn't hit me up with the coveted Morning text, like Jimmy: No need when I'm there to do it in person Jimmy: Just use your imagination when you tell 'em how I woke you up Janis: 😏 Why bother when they so ready to do it themselves, like Janis: #yourinfluence obvs Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Yours is that the 🐶 won't shut up 'bout you #real love 💕 Janis: Dog, yeah? Janis: Not heard that one before Jimmy: Alright, you rumbled me, my sister too Jimmy: But what the dog's saying is nicer Janis: 😂 Janis: I did forget to invite her along, to be fair Janis: Forgetfulness gotta be catching 'cos Mia totally wanted to idk Janis: wax my bikini line or something, apparently Jimmy: I know this is fake but your dirty talk needs some work, mate Jimmy: Good to know that shit does happen at sleepovers though Janis: Grow up dickhead 🙄 Janis: probably try recreate game of thrones and pour it on my head, no thanks Janis: can't make that sexy, no matter how many dragons I add to the story, soz Jimmy: Niche reference 👍 Jimmy: I rolled up to say tah for not being a dickhead anyway Jimmy: It all went to plan Janis: You're definitely that kinda nerd, don't lie Janis: Duh Janis: 🥇 Janis: I told you Jimmy: Piss off am I Jimmy: You can't pretend that you don't know how cool I am now, Joan Janis: What, 'cos you took me to the pub I suggested Janis: Okay 😏 Jimmy: 'cause I didn't make a holy show of myself as you Irish call it Jimmy: at the pub you suggested Janis: You were alright Janis: Not too unbearable, like Jimmy: I love you too, baby 😘 Janis: 🖕 Idiot Jimmy: What you doing tonight? Jimmy: We should be seen together so people don't reckon I got what I wanted and that's it Janis: Or you were that shit I've had to ghost you Jimmy: Nobody's thinking that Janis: Alright ego 😜 Janis: but I'm up for doing something, long as it's not totally shit Jimmy: Is there like a party or something going on? Jimmy: More people the better, I reckon Janis: Undoubtedly Janis: I'll ask my cousin, not everyone he knows is a total prick Janis: up for the challenge, yeah? 💪 Jimmy: Like you said 🥇 Janis: 👍 I've hit him up, let you know the where and when Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I'm on a half day so don't matter Jimmy: Time to make myself look #goals Janis: Sick Janis: weren't too dead were ya? Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: You? Janis: Good Janis: 'Course not Janis: Lazy rich bitch anyway so you know Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: tah for saying it so I don't 'ave to Janis: Please, you're so gutted Jimmy: Maybe Jimmy: You'll just have to cheer me up tonight Janis: Yeah? Janis: Easy Jimmy: Easy for you to say now, yeah Jimmy: We haven't faked it for that long before Janis: Have a little faith Janis: 'less you're planning to make it hard for me or Jimmy: It'd be more fun but we've got a deal Jimmy: So don't fuck it up & I won't Janis: Fine 🙄 Jimmy: Saving your enthusiasm? 👍 Janis: Yeah Janis: basically got 16 years worth saved up, hope you're ready Jimmy: Challenge accepted, Jillian Janis: That's the worse one yet Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I won't use it when anyone can hear me, don't worry Jimmy: What's your name again though? Janis: You testing me Janis: watch me turn up looking like a bag of shit now Janis: enjoy, wanker Jimmy: Watch me 😍😍😍 even harder for it Jimmy: You're not gonna beat me, babe Janis: So am Jimmy: Like I said, easy to say now Jimmy: Harder to do when I'm chaining 🚬 to put you off Janis: 😒 I've handled worse Jimmy: I don't need your exes list, Judy Janis: Short list Janis: . Janis: like Jimmy: What? Jimmy: You only fake date Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Fuck off Janis: I don't date Janis: waste of time Jimmy: Can be Janis: Is Jimmy: Pete'll be gutted Jimmy: Still, if you're as good in bed for real as you are when it's fake, decent consolation Janis: I'm sure Janis: aside from he probably fancies you more than he does me Jimmy: Me too, he's been name dropping you all shift 💕 Jimmy: Wrong again, Jennifer Janis: Lies Jimmy: I didn't know who he meant for half of it Jimmy: but yeah Janis: Brilliant Janis: Good thing he's not our target demo then isn't it Jimmy: No offense, Janis Jimmy: ain't my fault he don't know you Janis: Why would he Janis: He's like year above ain't he, idk Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: Not the one crushing on him Janis: You do keep bringing him up Janis: if you needed a beard, like Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: What do you wanna talk about then? Janis: [Party deets] Janis: There you go, can plan your outfit now Jimmy: What time do you wanna show up? Janis: Later the better, init Janis: make a scene but also, don't have to spend too much time surrounded by idiots Jimmy: You just know you can't hack faking being my girlfriend for too long Jimmy: but 👌 Janis: Bitch I can go all night Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: You'd be stretched to do an hour Janis: Bollocks Janis: When do YOU wanna go then? Jimmy: I'd go right now if they'd have me Jimmy: Better than being stuck at the CG Janis: N'awh, you really know how to make a girl feel special, babe 😘 Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: I'll do it tonight Jimmy: Do your best to wait patiently, Jodie Janis: 🖕 Do yours to keep up Janis: can't be too late if you gotta leave 9 though, are you sure Janis: lowkey might not even start before then Jimmy: I've sorted it with Cass Jimmy: I can be out as late as we need to get this done Janis: Didn't know it was her calling the curfew not your Da Janis: but makes sense, tbh Janis: cool then Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: He don't call any shots Jimmy: But someone's gotta look after my brother & he don't worry 'bout that either Janis: I wasn't trying to be funny about it Jimmy: Decent effort then 'cause you weren't Janis: Alright Janis: sorry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: meet there? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Let me know when Janis: k Jimmy: [Later] Jimmy: They want me to work over Jimmy: when are we going? Janis: Oh, don't worry then if it's gonna be too much hassle Jimmy: It's only a couple more hours Janis: When are you getting off now? Jimmy: 4.30 Jimmy: but I got some shit to do when I leave here Jimmy: part of Cass' bargain Janis: 👍 good girl Janis: anything i can help with or you alright Jimmy: you can get the dog out Jimmy: know you'd both love that 💕 Janis: Sure thing Janis: use the extra steps myself anyway Jimmy: Come and get my keys whenever Janis: Are the kids gonna be about Janis: they could come with, if they would Jimmy: you can ask 'em if you're feeling brave Janis: Just an idea Janis: might run off some energy lowkey exhaust the dog and them, like Jimmy: I reckon it's a good one Jimmy: They might not Janis: I'll try Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: If they're dickheads, text me Janis: Don't worry, I've got millions of cousins and shit, I know how to not get 'em killed or I wouldn't offer Jimmy: Weren't worried 'bout 'em Jimmy: Just you Janis: Oi Janis: I'm no soft-touch Jimmy: Only got your word for that, mate Janis: 😑 Janis: Proof'll be how well-trained this dog is Jimmy: You ain't got long enough for that Jimmy: I'm not fake dating you for years tah Janis: Christ no Janis: crash course, I'm that good Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: as long as you're more convincing tonight Janis: Name a time I haven't been Janis: everyone's buying it so hard Jimmy: I told you, that was lowest tier shit Jimmy: You have to pretend to like me for longer than a make out sesh Janis: I keep telling you I can, damn Janis: Can't prove it 'til we're there, can I? Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: take some pics on your walk, really milk how domestic we are Janis: Done Janis: she's very photogenic Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you can date her for real when this is over Janis: You're giving me her in the fake breakup, yeah? Janis: Cheers Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: means you gotta give me something Jimmy: get thinking Janis: can I interest you in Grace? Janis: know what you're thinking, literally defeats the point Janis: but she just looking for a new fam Janis: bitch for a bitch Jimmy: nah tah Jimmy: One sister's enough Janis: Shit Janis: I got 3 Janis: worst luck Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: violin solo for each Janis: Grace is more like a fucking triangle solo Jimmy: brutal Jimmy: I don't reckon there's an emoji for that though 💔 Janis: 🃏 Janis: really lacking on the emoji front Janis: gutted, gonna complain Jimmy: get it done, Joanne Janis: talk to twitter whilst i'm there Janis: your account not dead now? Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I ain't checked Janis: Bummer Janis: no new nudes for me 💔 Jimmy: I'll streak through the party Jimmy: make an entrance Janis: 😂 Janis: Twat Janis: There's no pretending to be 😍 over public indecency Jimmy: try harder then, dickhead Jimmy: thought you were 🥇 Janis: I don't want everyone to reckon I'm actually derranged, like Janis: be normal, Taylor Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you know, one of us has to Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon you won't be overcome with lust at the sight of me actually naked Jimmy: head in the game, girl Janis: 'Course Janis: who wouldn't be Janis: turning it into a casual orgy Jimmy: Mia maybe Jimmy: You're more her type Janis: Ugh don't Janis: idk what her problem really is Janis: 'cept she wants to wear my skin Jimmy: she's jealous Janis: Nah Janis: she's an only child and her daddy gives her everything so she's rolling in it Jimmy: but 'til he gives her money for surgery you're prettier than her Jimmy: & now you've got me so 🗡 Janis: Don't fuck her, yeah? Janis: It must be how she gets her power 'cos she's got no interest in actually being with you, she just has a list of like every boy in Dublin or some shit she's working through Jimmy: even if she has surgery, I have standards, I told you Janis: Good Janis: even if you're a bit of a prick, hate to see you go like that Janis: 🐍 eat you when she's done Jimmy: I'd rather my 🍆 stays attached to me Jimmy: more use than my head Janis: What's more #bae Janis: agree or disagree? 🤔 Jimmy: take it to a twitter poll Janis: I think they've got a bias rn though, after that pic Janis: say something dead brainy, babe Jimmy: too northern for that Jimmy: do it for me & say I did Janis: It's weird when you're #humble Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: gonna fuck with you when you find out that's the real me Janis: Coulda kept that in the vault, I'd never know Jimmy: Like I said, you'd find out Janis: You not planning on deleting me when this is all over then? Jimmy: Probably but there's still this thing called IRL Jimmy: Can't bin school off yet Janis: Oh, where I'm at my most social, 'course Janis: you barely knew I existed 'til now I think we'll be fine 😏 Jimmy: Don't be gutted Jimmy: I know your name now & everything Janis: Yeah was so sat there praying for the day Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: what are you actually gonna wear Janis: not saying we should be THAT fake couple and co-ord but Jimmy: hadn't given it any real thought Jimmy: what's the party dress code in leprechaun land? Janis: depends who you are and who they are Janis: don't wanna be try hard Janis: probably can't show up in my gym clothes, though Jimmy: who am I & who are they, babe? Janis: you know who you are Janis: leather jackets ain't just for your baes, obviously Janis: idk who this kid is exactly but he lives in a normal neighbourhood so he's not like dead posh or anything Jimmy: there's your answer then Jimmy: easy 😍 Jimmy: only challenge is me finding the place Janis: I better hang about then after I've walked the dog Janis: probably more #goals to go together anyway Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: smoothie? Jimmy: You should eat so you don't get dead drunk again Janis: 'Scuse me Janis: I was not Jimmy: You were Jimmy: & don't bring a jacket so you can wear mine that's gotta be #goals Janis: Just mad it went unnoticed that I was in the dog walking 'gram Janis: too 💕 for them all, baby Jimmy: just don't get as pissed tonight Jimmy: you might let everyone know how you really feel Janis: You ain't my Dad Jimmy: Nah, I'm your fake boyfriend & I'd like it if you didn't out us Jimmy: that's it Janis: I'm not going to because I wasn't even drunk and I won't be tonight Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you're gonna chat shit, I've got work to do Janis: I don't wanna chat to you anyway if you're gonna be shady Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Shady? Am I also slim 😂 Jimmy: top lingo, Janet Janis: 😒 you are that white Jimmy: take it up with my dad Janis: When can we have our first fake fight 'cos you're asking for it today, like Jimmy: a bit soon unless you wanna do a really hot makeup makeout Janis: Who'd want that? Janis: Shame Jimmy: the fans Janis: True Janis: but you said I've gotta show I can stand you when you ain't rocking my world so Jimmy: & you've gotta show you want me too more than just a once off Janis: Don't want much, do ya? Jimmy: It ain't about what I want Janis: You know what I mean Jimmy: I know you keep saying you'll do this easy Jimmy: So stop whinging Janis: I ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you liked whelan's then, yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll probably go back Janis: good Janis: i knew you would, it's alright Jimmy: seeing as you know me so well you can find me a real girl to date when this is over Janis: ha Janis: jog on Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: it'd be a laugh to see who you'd pick if nowt else Janis: not a dyke, remember? Jimmy: didn't say you had to join in with us, did I? Janis: shut up Janis: what do i know about girls Janis: not a real one, am i Jimmy: what do you reckon you are then? My dream Jimmy: Piss off Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: you're real Janis: You said it, not me Jimmy: What? Janis: 'you can find me a real girl to date' Jimmy: I meant a girl to not fake date Janis: whatever Jimmy: come on, Janis Janis: don't matter Janis: forget it Jimmy: don't wanna Janis: don't be a dick Janis: if you didn't mean it you didn't Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: So don't you be a dickhead Janis: What the fuck have I done? Jimmy: acting shady Jimmy: to use your top lingo Janis: 😑 you clearly don't know what that means Jimmy: nah I don't Jimmy: it's bollocks Jimmy: reckon you made it up just then Janis: not that deep undercover than we need our own language Jimmy: good 'cause I ain't sure I'd keep up Jimmy: proper cryptic you Irish Janis: 🖕 Janis: how's that for cryptic? Janis: gobshite Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I'm not finding you a girlfriend Janis: Ruin your own life Jimmy: Alright, leave me to my own devices so I can find another girl who prefers old blokes Jimmy: on your head Janis: If it keeps you from becoming a baby daddy, aren't I doing you/the world a massive service, really, like Jimmy: if that keeps you warm, mate, tell yourself it Jimmy: I'll be shivering 'cause left out in the cold 🎻 Janis: Catch me and Pete laughing at you whilst we fuck on a huge pile of money in our mcmansion Janis: #thedream Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I've seen him concentrating when he makes a latte I don't need to think about his face when he's going at it Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: get in his inbox to live that dream Janis: Can't be having my fake mans and real in the same place Janis: mixing business and pleasure always a no Jimmy: he won't say owt Jimmy: tell him you're down to cheat Janis: thanks for your permission 😂 Jimmy: don't care, do I? Jimmy: just keep it off the 'gram Janis: You might have endless faith in him but I don't Janis: everyone knows everyone's business around here 🙄 Jimmy: if you cheat I ain't lost owt Jimmy: go on Jimmy: save me a break up Janis: I don't think so Janis: I get to come out of this looking good, that was part of the deal Jimmy: We can change it easy Jimmy: & anyway who says pete ain't a trade up Janis: Nah Janis: Deal's a deal, I'm sticking to my side of it Jimmy: You've done it Jimmy: been proven those girls ain't my type Janis: If that was true we wouldn't be going tonight Janis: we ain't done here Jimmy: we ain't done for you Jimmy: but if you reckon you've got a better offer, take it Janis: Don't use this as an excuse Janis: you know I don't Jimmy: an excuse for what? Janis: For not wanting to help me out now we've sorted your side of it out Jimmy: I've said I'll do it Jimmy: like I said, not about what I want Janis: I know you don't want it alright Janis: it doesn't have to be much longer Jimmy: just don't fuck Pete Jimmy: I still have to work with him Jimmy: & I don't want the pisstake Janis: I'm not going to Janis: I've literally not spoken to him before Jimmy: then don't speak to him Janis: Um bit far, am I only allowed to order smoothies from you? Jimmy: CG isn't the only shit coffee shop around Jimmy: why come in after this? Janis: so I'm banned now, jesus Janis: fine Janis: I don't even drink coffee Jimmy: I can't ban you Jimmy: not the manager Janis: but you would if you could? Janis: well that's lovely Jimmy: so you would come in for coffee & a chat after I've fake dumped you? 👌 Janis: You're actually such a prick Janis: 1. I'M dumping YOU Janis: 2. You were actually serious that you're gonna delete me? Avoid me forever too? Very mature Jimmy: I'm gonna delete everyone Jimmy: not just you Jimmy: why do you care? like you said, didn't know each other existed before Janis: You're gonna have no friends, whole time you're here then Jimmy: hopefully Jimmy: what you're offering now, are you? Janis: no one good enough for you, yeah? Janis: not now I know Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you were the one warning me not to turn into 'em like a day ago Jimmy: didn't realise the real you was a cheerleader of leprechaun town Janis: Piss off Jimmy: that's the plan Jimmy: wear the uniform tonight though, the fans will love it Janis: It's going to take you ages you may as well try and tolerate it whilst you're here Jimmy: You don't have to outdo my dad on the fatherly advice Jimmy: not part of the deal Janis: Exactly, you're not gonna leave your brother and sister here Janis: so it's years, not months Jimmy: that's assuming any of us are gonna stay here Jimmy: he keeps jobs slightly longer than girlfriends but don't go mad, like Janis: Yeah great, hinge your masterplan on his lack of Janis: I hope it all works out for you, really Jimmy: I don't need a masterplan this is my real life not a fake dating plot Janis: Fuck you Janis: Act like it then, you live here right now, get over it Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You've lived here longer Jimmy: where's your friends? Janis: What's it matter 'bout me? Jimmy: you're dishing it out like I gotta be living my best life Jimmy: sort yours Janis: Again, this isn't about me Janis: you're not me Jimmy: & you ain't me, sweetheart Jimmy: you don't know what I want so don't tell me Janis: Don't fucking talk to me like that Jimmy: likewise Janis: Fine, be miserable Janis: like you said, why do I care Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Fuck me knowing what you want, I hope you work it out Jimmy: I have Janis: Good for you Jimmy: dead patronising you Jimmy: Love that Janis: I'm not the one throwing out sweethearts like it's the 70s Jimmy: Nah, you're just the one judging me when all you know is my name basically Jimmy: starting to see your sister's POV now Jimmy: bit of a nightmare, aren't you? Janis: Go fuck her then Jimmy: I don't want to Jimmy: but tah for the permission Janis: Literally drop dead Janis: I never once judged you and it's fucking rich you taking issue when all you do is judge everyone here all the time Jimmy: just 'cause you're a girl don't mean you can talk me like that & then tell me how to talk to you Janis: like what Janis: you talk to me like a piece of shit Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: Great Janis: Bye Jimmy: not bye, see you in a bit Jimmy: unless you're bailing Janis: you reckon i'm in the party mood Janis: really Jimmy: not what I asked Jimmy: don't matter how you really feel, does it? Janis: you're a sociopath, awesome Jimmy: no idea Jimmy: but alright fuck the party, don't bother me Janis: nah, 'course, nothing does Jimmy: nowt that's any of your business Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll still walk the dog it isn't her fault Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you'll still need the keys Jimmy: won't throw 'em at you not very #goals Janis: I don't care anymore Janis: who am I impressing, like you said Jimmy: when? Janis: You know Janis: I've got no friends, I'm a nightmare Janis: 🎻 Janis: the list goes on Jimmy: that's not what they're seeing Jimmy: just me 🎻 Jimmy: you've impressed everyone else Janis: Please Janis: you're so smart now Jimmy: It don't take much Janis: Exactly Janis: Jig is probably up Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: you know it's working Janis: Yeah not now I hate you Jimmy: you didn't love me before Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: call it off Janis: I'm not coming out of this like this Janis: you don't have to see me Janis: I'll make it work myself Jimmy: 👌 Janis: just tell me how you wanna sound Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: do it how you want Janis: is it wise to give me such free reign Janis: nightmare i am Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: don't matter Janis: You reckon I shouldn't care? Jimmy: I'm saying I don't Janis: No one's judging you anyway Jimmy: feel free to change that Janis: I'm not that much of a bitch Janis: thanks Jimmy: not on the 'gram anyway Janis: Fuck you Janis: I was being nice Jimmy: 'til I told you not to fuck Pete Jimmy: If I knew that was the dealbreaker I wouldn't have said nowt Janis: No, 'til you asked me to find you a girlfriend, called me not a girl Janis: then fucking agreed with my sister Jimmy: I told you, I never said you weren't a girl Jimmy: & I weren't serious about the girlfriend thing Janis: Whatever Janis: I don't even know if that's his name so it isn't about that Jimmy: alright Janis: It ain't alright Janis: I wasn't serious either you didn't have to take it like that and make it into this thing Jimmy: I seriously don't want you to fuck my co-workers Jimmy: that's all I said Janis: I'm not going to! Janis: I don't even want to Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't matter now Janis: Why not Jimmy: 'cause this is finished Jimmy: we don't need to keep chatting 'bout it Janis: Why is it a problem if I'm not gonna do it Jimmy: it ain't Janis: Then stop being a dick Jimmy: You stop being a dick Janis: dickhead Jimmy: You're the dickhead Janis: Oh my God Janis: stop Jimmy: just break it off Jimmy: I've got work to do Janis: Come on Janis: you're really dedicated now you don't wanna talk to me Jimmy: why would I? Jimmy: if we aren't going to the party what is there to chat about? Janis: well we could Janis: but fine Jimmy: you don't wanna either Jimmy: you hate me now, remember? Janis: Well you never liked me apparently so can't be offended Jimmy: yeah I can Janis: It's not fair, that's bullshit Jimmy: you hating me is not the same as me not knowing you Janis: maybe i'm being slightly dramatic Jimmy: go for it Jimmy: like I said, don't matter Janis: No Janis: Shut up being annoying Janis: let's go to the party Jimmy: I don't reckon that's a good idea Janis: Why not Jimmy: not in the running for an oscar, are we? Janis: alright Janis: i'll go by myself i guess Jimmy: that's a worse idea Jimmy: get it together, Jasmine Janis: Why? Jimmy: You're a pisshead & you need me Janis: 😑 Janis: well then you have to come Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: when? Janis: Whenever you've done what you've gotta do at Home Janis: I'm already on the bus to get the keys Jimmy: I just have to get the bribes in Jimmy: come with Jimmy: we can get drinks for the party or whatever Janis: I get it, all the sugar Janis: alright Janis: just don't try to palm me off with alcopops Jimmy: piss off would I Jimmy: I don't hate you Janis: tah 😏 you do reckon I can't handle my drink though Janis: which is just untrue Jimmy: you couldn't Jimmy: that's all I've got to go off Jimmy: prove me wrong tonight if you're that mad 'bout it Janis: What did I do? Janis: because I have evidence of YOU licking MY face, thanks snapchat Jimmy: FOR snapchat Jimmy: you were being nice to me when the camera weren't on Janis: How dare I 🙄 Janis: make it sound like I was tryna jump you Jimmy: nowt like that Jimmy: you were just Jimmy: fuck knows, mate Janis: ominous Janis: maybe i won't drink Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: challenge turned down? 👌 Janis: 😠 No Janis: you got me paranoid now though Jimmy: not trying to get in your head so I'll win or owt Jimmy: nah Janis: 😒 Jimmy: for real though that weren't how I wanted that to sound Jimmy: it was fun Jimmy: you weren't a total dickhead like usual, that's it Janis: so what you're really saying is Janis: I should make a habit of it? Janis: cool Janis: I thought you meant I was white girl wasted then I'd have to kms, obviously Jimmy: I'm saying if I were gonna hate you, I couldn't then 'cause you were alright Jimmy: calm down Janis: Awh babe Jimmy: what the fuck is white girl wasted? Janis: If Gracie or any of her mates are at this party, hopefully not, you'll get to see Janis: the girls who are screaming 'this is my song!' to every other shit song Janis: and lose their shoes and shit and end up sobbing hysterically on a poor bouncer or something Jimmy: that don't exist up north, lasses drink like lads Jimmy: I'll have to take you Jimmy: learn something, Jemima Janis: you can't say the north has a better drinking  culture than ireland Janis: that's literally all we're known for excuse you Jimmy: I reckon I just did Jimmy: am I gonna get cursed now? Janis: Think you're gonna get deported so you'll be buzzin' on that Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: they aren't gonna be at the party are they? Janis: Nah, would've seen all the annoying getting ready and pre-drinks stories by now Jimmy: thank feck as you 🍀 say Jimmy: fun as it'd be to get that angry vein going in Mia's head again Janis: Please never say that again but do 'cos I wanna hear wtf it'd sound like in your accent 😂 Janis: she's DYING for round two Jimmy: I'll whisper it in your ear later if you pretend I'm saying something #goals Janis: Deal Jimmy: Just don't piss yourself laughing I don't need everyone reckoning my chat is that bad Janis: 🎭 Janis: I'll be so into it it'll be awkward for everyone else Janis: 💪 Jimmy: yeah alright Jane fonda just try & look like you're dying for round two 😍💕 Jimmy: maybe there'll be a room we can fake fuck in Janis: What are house parties for Janis: besides easier underage drinking, obviously Jimmy: as long as Mia ain't there to listen at the door Janis: I refuse to fake an orgasm for her the cunt you'd have to actually just fuck me Jimmy: I'll just take you home if she shows up Jimmy: pretend like I'm anti-fucking in strangers houses Jimmy: like its a northern thing or summat Janis: 😂 Polite, very anti-you Janis: but it works Jimmy: there's only so much convincing fakery I could let you do before it'd just sound hot Jimmy: not part of the deal for me to be into it Janis: Yeah Janis: Only human Jimmy: 🐍 quota in these parts is full Janis: Truly Janis: Don't tell Paddy, he'll be fuming Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: better get more smokes if you're sharing Jimmy: remind me Janis: Should get my own, least pay you half Jimmy: call it my being a dickhead tax Jimmy: besides, people were into it Jimmy: new #goals Janis: You make it look good Janis: no one needs to know you get out of breath on a dog walk Jimmy: you give then you take away Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: next time tweet the first bit & leave off the second Janis: I already did that story, no caption necessary Janis: can't have you thinking I'm too nice again and going weird on me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: Are we meant to do getting ready snaps or are you not white enough? Janis: God no Janis: 'less we're being all extra about how much we don't wanna leave bed, like Jimmy: we could Jimmy: I zip up your...dress? but you take off my shirt Jimmy: make it sexy Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😂 Janis: this is just going to get confusing Janis: end up leaving half undressed but not in the intentional way Jimmy: no then? Janis: nah, we can Janis: means having to take less there so we can lowkey have a decent time still Jimmy: almost like you now Jimmy: 'cause that's a top plan Janis: Gimme time Janis: not a fan of almosts like go all in and hate me or you know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: what are you wearing not heavy breathing way? Jimmy: in a* Janis: Thanks for clarifying Janis: I put a few options in my bag, I'd ask a girl but you know Janis: You'll have to do Jimmy: I am out of breath but 🚬 not burning desire Jimmy: piss off I'm better Jimmy: I'll tell you what looks hot Jimmy: 😍 not bitchy side eye Janis: #truelove Janis: #lastsalifetime #inyourlungs Janis: Good, can always get that from your sister if I'm missing it Jimmy: You're getting too decent at #s gonna have to dump you 💔 Janis: #damn Jimmy: Stop Janis: #gonnamissmewhenimgone Jimmy: #Janis please Jimmy: if you make me laugh I could keel over 🚬 remember Janis: When bae calls you a health risk 😍 Jimmy: #goals right Jimmy: love you so much its gonna kill me Janis: mhmm Janis: i told ya, just got the organ wrong Janis: no 💔 going for the lungs Jimmy: just leave my 🍆 out of it & like my head I ain't too concerned Jimmy: least I got a pair of lungs Janis: are you saying i have 🍆 envy Janis: cos that's even older than the dyke line tbh i expect better from you Jimmy: let me know when I streak through the party Janis: 😂 Janis: Will do Jimmy: don't say nowt if you don't 'cause 💔 Jimmy: it ain't my party to cry at Janis: Poor boy Janis: Just tryna seem nonchalant 'cos already meant to have seen it, duh Jimmy: try & seem 😍 like you can't get enough of it though Jimmy: tah very much Janis: Okay you want drooling Janis: got it Jimmy: if you can Janis: Don't doubt me, just your ability to bring it Janis: kinda cold Jimmy: where I'm from this is summer temps Jimmy: don't worry 'bout me, girl Janis: Then we won't have a problem Jimmy: nah Jimmy: & if anyone asks, I'm thinking 'bout you #muse Janis: I think they'll have more pressing questions Janis: like, what the fuck? Jimmy: that's how it is in 🍀 Jimmy: boring feckers Janis: 😂 Janis: maybe after you've been there and had a few Jimmy: I won't find them boring? Jimmy: or I will Janis: saying you taking your kit off would be craic and not a sign of something wrong Janis: they'll still be pretty dry Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: can I leave here yet? it's rivaling in the boredom stakes Jimmy: come back Mia, some mildly annoying shit you've done is forgiven Jimmy: nowt else Janis: Shh Janis: come meet me off bus Janis: #romance Jimmy: alright Jimmy: you sold it to me Janis: 💕 Soft Jimmy: give me the kiss of life if I look like I'm going Jimmy: 'cause you know I'll 🚬 & walk Janis: 😏 Janis: Giving the OAPs on here a show Jimmy: love our new audience 💕 Janis: always a bitchy one though, i 👀 you grandmia Jimmy: probably is her nan Jimmy: does she have a face like 🍋 Janis: Chewing wasps forreal Janis: though I think Mia just rose up from the pits of hell by herself so Jimmy: get her number for my ex Janis: 😂 Janis: so thoughtful Jimmy: her status updates have been harrowing mate Jimmy: reckon Barry's playing away 💔🎻 Janis: Oh no Janis: typical Barry move Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: near end of life crisis Janis: Stop making me laugh I'm getting looks Jimmy: payback for before when you near ended my life Jimmy: could be worse least I'm not turning you on with the mention of him Janis: War flashbacks, like Jimmy: you got it, JoJo Janis: 💔 Janis: I don't get it but you do you Janis: true love and all that, I guess Jimmy: You don't get wanting to fuck an old bloke? Jimmy: Me either Janis: 😏 OMG we get it, you're straight Janis: it's me they got the questions about, not you Jimmy: so far Jimmy: but Pete is gonna need consoling for his 💔 Janis: 🙄 don't drag me into this Janis: find yourself a girl and him a mans Jimmy: so nah to the threesome? 👌 I'll let him know Janis: You don't wanna see his cum face Jimmy: I'll look at the back of his head Janis: Alright, glad you've worked out the logistics Janis: be rude to make him stay under the pillow Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in or out? Janis: whey Janis: long as it don't count 'cos threeways don't Jimmy: 'course Janis: 👍 Jimmy: #romance Janis: you know it Janis: real test faking it to that level, no matter how thick he is Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: we've got this baby 💕 Janis: Poor Pete Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you see me yet? Janis: Hold on, lemme try and remember what you look like Jimmy: You ain't that good at faking it, Justine Jimmy: #unforgettable Janis: You'll be huffy when you find me chatting to the wrong white boy Jimmy: Nah I'll just smack him Jimmy: #goals like Janis: 😏 Janis: There you are Jimmy: 😘

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked 😂 Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘