#and he said 'thats your problem not mine' in ENGLISH the mf

[public-school-quotes]

(submitted by someone i wish i could tag not my shit whoever did this because tumblr won’t let me see it i love you)

i am just going to make a masterpost of my school’s shenanigans

a: “ill tell you where its from after we get outta hearing range of (teacher). dont wanna get in trouble“ has gotten in trouble for swearing^

b: “(name) most of the things you say would get you in trouble”

a: “.. fair”

c (teacher) was proctoring and so we were in another classroom. he walked in, and immediately said “whats up knuckleheads”

d: “bbq beans???? its 07:11!!!”

e: “yeah”

f: “hand or mouth?”

g: “teeth”

f: “no”

h: “no”

a“please add arson (to a story) if you didn’t already”

b“that’s their first date wtf”

b“i want to add a dark turn to my story but half of the characters are already dead”

a “kill another”

b “hes gonna die later!”

a “whats wrong with a necromancy”

b“he already died once already!”

a“whats wrong with a SECOND necromancy?”

b“he only has 9 lives”

a“what about 100th necromancy?”

a“stab and run!”- quoting a list of crimes

b“thats a 6 year old”

a“what”

b”ripping out organs wasnt an issue”

a”oh thats just tuesday!”

b”what are you scared of?”

a“someone opening my writing app and reading it… (this bitch wrote porn!)and also the koolaid man.”

b”ohyeah”

(about pot stickers (the food)at school)

a “the outside of this tastes like pasta… lasagna ass bitch”

d: a

a: yea?

d: go home!

a: ok (turns around and leaves, mom picked her up)

“let go of the tree!”

“it makes oxygen for me i love it”

i just. saw a kid taking a swig of honey. it is nine in the morning. why. i am in fear

a “i dont care if its good i care if its done because mine sure isnt”

b “insurance???”

b “but seriously. how do you tone (english class)”

a “………….. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

c “austria said ‘its mine! kick rocks.’”

c “austria said ‘i want to control it all because i have problems and therapy doesn’t exist yet’”

c “idk what you learn in b r a i n c l a s s” about psychology

i “i will cut out your spleen if you dont”

a “…”

i “jokes on u im into that shit”

a “do i even have a spleen?????”

i “NOT WHEN IM DONE WITH YOU!!! YOU WONT HAVE A PROBOSCUS. wait do you know how to spell that cuz i sure dont”

c throwing a basketball at the hoop “LEEBRON”

he missed

c “for michael jacksons legacy” missed bball shot

c “theres some guy! hanging from a Thing there!”

c “hes crying on a donkey! name something more sad!”

a“crying not on a donkey, donkeys are expensive”

a kid showed off his playboy hoodie to our teacher. she did not know where the logo is from and he walks a free man

a (hands croc to a mf): i entrust you with this to protect yourself and the money

g immediately: threateans a known kleptomaniac with the croc in defence of 5 high-schoolers pizza money

i took a yearbook picture of my friend pretending to draw in a notebook with a stylus for a touchscreen. will they notice? will they put it in the yearbook? who knows! only time will tell!

a “the pile of ppl are growing!”

a “there is a guy on the floor here. .. he is scuttling..”

g “hey colonoscopy man. leave.”

colonoscopy man “you talked to jesus didn’t you”

g “colonoscopy man leave”

j “stop mistreating- manhandling my banana”

honorable mention: molotov soaptail which caused emotional support among us

[kirishwima]

ah yes, a little bit of xenophobia, as a ~parting gift~ before i leave this country