#and he retaliates by killing her boyfriend/husband (possibly as well as her too)

[goldensunset]

Envy is absolutely the most cringfail sin. it's about spending your energy NOT minding your own business and being obsessed with what other people have. and it's the only one that grants you no pleasure. it's just misery. completely pathetic

loving the fact that you have an opinion on this and needed to say it. mutuals please sit down it’s time for the philosophy and ethics socratic seminar on tumblr dot com

[levis-hazelnut]

Summary: when you and your best friend, Hanji, were younger, you had made up stories about your dream guys - what they would look like and how you would meet. What happens when the one you had made up appears to be real?

Warning(s): suggestions of sex. please do tell me if there are anymore.

Taglist (closed): @castellandiangelo @fandom-addict19​ @20coldhearts​

Status: completed

part 10 > part 11 > part 12 (final)

series masterlist

(a/n: sorry this is me just being thirsty for levi, it’s completely self indulgent and barely has a plot)

I think what I’m about to tell you right now is probably one of the biggest surprises.

So, you know how both of my relationships never lasted longer than five months? Well, my relationship with Levi has been going on for eleven months now. Almost a whole year. Which means I’ve been living in heaven for the past eleven months.

This man is just amazing in every way possible (but please don’t tell him I said this because he’s going to piss me off). He can pretend that he doesn’t care about anything all he wants because I know how much of a sweetheart he actually is, and I hate him for making me fall even more in love with him.

And another reason why I hate him is because--

That god awful sound of my ringtone screamed into my ear and I knew who it was, seeing as how there was only one person who would call me at eight a.m. on a Saturday.

With a few grumbled curses, I blindly reached for my phone and answered it, “What?”

“Good morning to you, too, darlin’.”

“For god’s sake, just tell me what you want. I’m trying to sleep.”

“I’d like for you to get your ass out of bed since our exam starts in less than twenty minutes.”

... Wasn’t it the weekend?

“... Excuse me? Exam? Since when?”

“Look at your calendar, please, you idiot.”

“I may or may not have put it into my calendar because I relied on you,” I muttered, jumping out of bed and scrambling to find some clothes before quickly brushing my teeth and trying to fix my bed head.

“Also, stop by at the café before you come. I want tea.”

“Are you fucking dumb? I’m not stopping to get you tea when I’ll already be late.”

“It’s on the way. It’ll only add a couple of minutes to your journey.”

“If I’m late, I swear I’m going to--”

“It won’t be my fault if you’re late. Thank you for getting me tea. Love you. Bye.”

He cut the phone before I could even reply and I rolled my eyes, slamming the apartment door behind me as I rushed down the stairs and made my way to the café to get Levi his precious tea since I’m such a loving girlfriend.

With a shrill ring of the bell above the door, my arrival was announced as I looked to the counter to see Eren talking to Levi, with a cup of tea in his hands.

I frowned, marching towards them to slap the back of the raven’s head.

“What the hell?” he spat, flicking my forehead in retaliation.

“What happened to getting you tea, so I can be late to the exam?”

“There is no exam, darlin’.”

“What do you mean? Why did you tell me that there was an exam? Why would you make me lose precious hours of sleep?”

“Seeing as how you don’t remember, I’ll remind you. Last night you asked me to help you study. For the exams. But I didn’t think you’d get out of bed for our study session.”

“Stop knowing me so well and let me sleep. Now, you have to buy me a cof--” I cut myself off when he presented a hot cup to me and the aroma of coffee wafted around my nose, calming me down after I took a sip. “Thank you, babe.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied before turning to the male with turquoise orbs. “Thanks for the drinks.”

“No problem. I also cleared a table in the corner for you guys, so that you wouldn’t get too distracted.”

“Aw, thank you, Eren,” I grinned. “Come on, let’s get this shit over with,” I huffed, dragging the raven towards the table, where we both sat down, and he took things out of his bag before tucking it under the table.

“What do you want to focus on?” he asked, and then glancing at me when I didn’t respond because I was too busy focusing on the black t-shirt he was wearing. Perfectly fitted around his arms, tight around his torso and pecs, exposing the ripples that I love to run my fingers over. And he was wearing a couple of silver rings on his hands, and I didn’t think he’d be able to look more attractive.

“... You,” I replied to his question with a smirk, causing him to roll his eyes.

“I will walk out of this café if you don’t stop staring at me like a freaking weirdo and if you don’t pay attention to what I’m saying.”

“But I’m tired,” I whined, facepalming the table.

“That’s not my fault.”

“I will fucking kill you, Levi. You were the one that decided to call me for five hours last night. And the one who thought it’d be a wonderful idea to wake me up at eight in the morning.”

“... Fine. We don’t have to start straight away,” he told me, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest, causing his biceps to bulge even more.

“Don’t sit like that.”

“Why?” he questioned, raising a single brow.

“Because I’m sure you don’t want to get fucked in a café.”

“Why are you always so horny, you freak?”

“You’re asking me that question while looking like that?” I scoffed with the roll of my eyes. “The audacity.”

“Just drink your coffee before it gets cold.”

“I will. By the way, do we have to stay in here? Can we go to the library or somewhere quieter?”

“Why? So you can fuck me?”

“No, you idiot. I just won’t be able to concentrate with all these people.”

“But you’ll get too sleepy if it’s quiet.”

“True,” I mumbled. “Okay, then. Just give me like half an hour and I should be ready to study.”

“What am I going to do for thirty minutes?”

“Maybe talk to your girlfriend, smartass,” I retorted, laying my head on the table again, squishing my cheek against it. There was no response, so the only sounds were the chatter of customers, glass clinking, and air conditioning because of the sweltering weather. I glanced at my boyfriend, wondering why he was silent, only to find that he was gazing at me. “You okay?”

“Mhm,” was his reply, which was unusual, before he took a sip of his tea.

“What are you thinking about?”

“About how we ended up here. Together. In a relationship.”

A tender smile conquered my lips as I reached my hand out for his, interlocking our fingers. “Thank you, Levi. For loving me like no one else did. And no matter how much you get on my nerves, I’m always going to appreciate you being here for me.”

“I’m not good with this shit, so yeah, same thing goes to you,” he said awkwardly, causing me to laugh.

“Can’t believe it’s going to be our one-year anniversary in about two weeks.”

“Going to be a year since I entered hell.”

“Shut up,” I muttered, kicking his shin, despite knowing he was joking.

“... You know what, let’s just go,” the raven-haired male randomly stated, standing up and gently tugging on my hand as our fingers were still intertwined. To my one-word question of: “Where?” he replied, “I don’t know, but I don’t feel like it’s day that we should study. We have plenty of time for that, so let’s do something.”

My hues shone brightly as I grinned and gladly accepted his offer, getting out of my seat and grabbing my coffee as he packed his things away prior to leading me out of the stuffy building, bidding farewell to Eren.

“Let’s go to your place. We’ll make breakfast, have it on the balcony, and do whatever after.”

“'Kay, then. But can we slip in a nap after breakfast because I’m still tired?” I requested.

“Of course.”

So, we made way to mine and Hanji’s apartment, relieved that I didn’t have to study all day today and could simply relax with the raven. That fact made me smile a little as I unlocked the door to the apartment, stepping inside and kicking my shoes off as Levi did the same, following you to your bedroom.

“Ten minutes, please. Then, we begin our date,” I sighed, plopping down onto my bed and he made himself comfortable, shifting my head onto his lap. Then, his slender digits began to soothingly drift through my tresses that were completely tangled, so he had gently unknotted my hair to make it easier to run his fingers through it.

“Remind me to never wake you up this early on a weekend again.”

“I always tell you, asshole. And you never listen to me.”

“Well, I’ve finally learnt my lesson. So, hush.”

After my ten-minute rest, I went to splash my face with water to wake me up a little, while Levi was in the kitchen, preparing everything for breakfast, seeing as how the only thing he ate for breakfast was tea and toast, and I only had coffee.

“Hey, darlin’, what do you want to eat?”

“Mmm, maybe crepes... Let me help.”

So, in the next forty minutes, I ended up with flour on my face and clothes, while that idiot was just smirking at me, and I had slipped because there was water on the floor. And all of it was amusing to my boyfriend, who seemed to be in a great mood since he kept chuckling (not that I was complaining because it was a beautiful sound). The annoying thing, though, was that I was too irritated to mock him wearing my floral apron that made him lose his debonair flair.

“You’re an idiot with her own comedy show,” he teased.

“I don’t know if that is a compliment or not.”

“It isn’t. I’m calling you an idiot.”

“Shut up. You’re the reason I’m covered in flour.”

“Just go sit down and eat. I’ll clean everything up.”

“You better, you clean-freak,” I mumbled, doing as he said, taking a seat at the table on the balcony as he placed down the plates and mugs before sitting opposite me. The sun grinned down on him, giving him an ethereal appearance and making him even more gorgeous. 

There was idle chatter as we ate because I was too exhausted and agitated to carry a proper conversation that had too much information for my brain to register.

Once we were done, the raven stood up to take the dishes to the kitchen and wash them (husband material right there) as Hanji approached me with a yawn, rubbing the fatigue from her eyes.

“How come you’re awake so e-- Oh,” she said when she noticed Levi.

“Yeah, he made me get out of bed early for no reason,” I complained as I stood up to help him. “There’s leftover batter for crepes, by the way.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks. Also, why is there flour everywhere?”

“Because of that idiot.” I rolled my eyes.

“You’re the idiot, darlin’,” he called from the kitchen before appearing before us, shooting an annoying and teasing look my way, and shot him a glare in return.

 From someone else’s perspective that don’t know us, we’d probably look like we hate each other, when in reality, this was basically our love language - annoying each other and glaring.

“I will punch you, Ackerman. However, I need to clean up, so you’re lucky.”

“Not like you would’ve, anyway. And before you say anything else, just go shower.”

Once again, I rolled my eyes but left the room to do as he said, grabbing some clothes and a towel before going into the bathroom. Just as I was about to close the door, however, it opened slightly and Levi stepped inside, shutting and locking the door.

“What are you doing?” I inquired.

“I said I’ll clean everything up, didn’t I? That includes you,” he whispered with a smirk, leaning in to latch his lips onto mine, tugging at the hem of my shirt.

~/~

Soft kisses were pressed along my hairline and my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, down to my jaw and further down to my shoulders. Lips continued to migrate, travelling to my neck where there were soft nibbles and flicks of a tongue against the flesh of my neck.

My fingers were tangled in ebony locks, damp and fragrant from our recent shower, and my nails gently scratched against Levi’s scalp as I drifted my hand through his hair. His touches were light and almost careful, like he didn’t want to hurt me, even though his teeth contrasted that when he sunk his teeth into my skin a couple of times before kissing the spot he bit as a wordless apology.

We were simply lying down in my bed, relaxing in a comfortable silence. I laid on my back with my eyes lidded, while Levi laid on his side, resting his head on my chest as he continued to pepper my skin in soft kisses and gentle nips.

These would always be my favourite moments. Just moments filled with adoration, silent declarations of love, and serenity. No teasing, annoying, or glaring. No retorts, no eye rolling, no grumbles. Only warmth, tenderness, affection.

“Darlin’?” he uttered in a hushed voice, but when I didn’t respond, he lifted his head to gaze at me, finding that I had fallen asleep. His ashen hues were full of fondness, admiring my relaxed visage before he pecked my lips and assumed his original position - his head on my chest and an arm slung over my torso.

While I was asleep, he was on his phone, scrolling through social media, occasionally sighing because he was bored. But he wouldn’t wake me up because I deserved to sleep.

It wasn’t until about twelve o’clock when I woke up with Levi’s head still laying on my chest, however, his grey orbs were hidden. So, with little movement, I attempted to reach for my phone, only to find that his fingers were entangled with mine, which made me smile softly because I hadn’t been holding his hand before I fell asleep.

And when I pressed my lips against his knuckles, his eyes fluttered open to meet mine, and there was a smile shimmering in his beautiful eyes.

“Finally awake, sleepyhead,” he hummed placing a single kiss on my jaw.

“Mhm. Did you miss me?” I murmured, unhinging my jaw and letting out a yawn.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, putting up an act to support his lie. “No.”

I giggled softly, kissing his forehead. “Whatever you say, babe. Anyway, what are we doing for the rest of the day?”

“I was thinking something outside because the weather’s nice.”

“Oh, I know! There’s a funfair at the park just ten minutes away. Let’s go there.”

“Sure. We’ll leave in about an hour?” he suggested, and I hummed in agreement, tugging my boyfriend closer so I could nuzzle my face into his chest before we got out of bed. “Then, we can come back later and make dinner together.”

“That sounds nice,” I said in a hushed voice, feeling sleep taking over me once again. However, Levi attempted to save me before I completely gave in.

“Don’t fall asleep.”

“Shhh.”

For the umpteenth time that day, the raven rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help the smile that edged onto his lips every time.

He doesn’t know what it was. But every time I would do or say something, even if it was the most stupid and idiotic thing he’s seen, he feels something warm flutter inside. And he realises how much he’s fallen for me, which has changed him. In a good way.

And all this time I thought I was a bad influence.

[lavendertwilight89]

InuxKag Week 2020--Day 6 Reunion

This is an idea me and @superpixie42 were talking through.  I blame @keichanz and @cstormsinukagblog for inspiring a ghost au idea.

So the premise is after Kagome’s dad passed, they moved into her grandfather's shrine.  She's sixteen and inherited her dad's ability to see ghosts and her job is to help them move on. But no one else knows about her abilities except her bff Miroku who shares her gift and his girlfriend Sango. (I will write the actual the Chapters but this is just to set up the reunion piece). So Inuyasha was up in her new room just sitting on the bay window staring at the Sacred Tree when she approached him saying he didn't belong there and needed to leave. 

Inuyasha, obviously, didn't take that well and basically told her to fuck off-- and so, they had to build up their relationship from annoyance and loathing to friendship and possibly more *wink wink* 

@inukag-week @superpixie42 @lemonlushff @dangerouspompadour @keichanz @cstormsinukagblog @willowandfog @inuyashaloverforever @xfangheartx @clearwillow  @umacaking @bluejay785 @smmahamazing @murdergiraffe @faulkner-blog @sapphirestarxx @swaggingtomboy @sarah-writes-stories @hnnwnchstr @wolverine1092

This excerpt would be a couple chapters in more than likely:

Rated Teen for language

It'd been a week since she had been home. She was drained, exhausted, and irritated.

Her and Miroku had done an overnight exorcism that had gone horribly wrong. She thanked the Gods Sango was outside and had been able to call the ambulance. Not that she voiced that at the time. Because you know, she was underneath the collapsed building.

She had forced Miroku to flee when she saw things going south with the young girl spirit that was hell bent on revenge against her best friend. Long story short, the spirit’s best friend stole her boyfriend, sent her into a depressive streak, finally had been comfortable enough to leave the house without humiliation only to be killed in a car accident. Teenage bullshit. You know, classic stuff. 

Miroku and her were able to trap the girl in an abandoned building by the ports. They figured they could use the water by purifying it and then zapping her if she didn't see reason. Which she didn't, no teenager ever does. To which they had to have used the water. Then that sparked the crazy train of events such as: the insane amount of anger and hatred inbedded in the soul that made her strong enough to bring down the building, the fact that she was able to withstand the purification as long as she did just so she could take them down with her, and that she was dead set on killing them.

But Kagome was stronger than Miroku. Much stronger and knew she could hold her; it wasn't like she had a boyfriend or anybody worrying about her. Yea, she had family but… no real future. 

Not that she meant for it to come off like she wanted to die a martyr or that she was unloved. But the guy she was insanely in love with to the point where she dreamt of him nightly.

Yes, she had just turned a measly seventeen but… she'd never felt that way before. Miroku and her had been friends for YEARS and never once had she imagined shoving her tongue down his throat.

Let alone any other guy that's asked her out-- Hojo, Akitoki, Bankotsu, and the new kid Koga. No one haunted her dreams the way the dead half demon did. Maybe it was because he haunted her bedroom too. 

She oddly hoped if she did end losing her life that she'd haunt the same bedroom with him. And that maybe, just maybe, he'd be more than okay with it.

He had started acting strangely. It took months for them to get to where they were… 'comfortable' with each other. She had given up on trying to exorcise him or convince him to move on.  Not to mention he gave up on avoiding her, fighting with her, or just all around pissing her off. It was useless hiding as she always found him and that’s what started half their fights.

They had grown to have a mutual respect for each other.  

And then she fucked it up. She came back after an emotional exorcism crying. He caught her due to ‘space brain’. She was upset about what she and Miroku ended up having to do; it was a young boy who passed away due to cancer and he was sucking the life from his mother. He refused to leave her alone and they were left with no choice; help the mother live, or let the dead boy kill her…

Anyway, she was caught. It made her even more embarrassed that he had found her. At that point, she had a schoolgirl crush on the ghost. He was handsome, well built, spoke his mind, didn’t falter his beliefs for anything, and overall wasn’t the biggest asshole as a roommate. He gave her space and privacy when she needed it. He didn’t crowd her, overbear on her. He definitely did his own thing and didn’t rely on her to keep him company. They enjoyed the companionable silences when they were together.

She was about to fix her face and replace the mask she wore when he stopped her. It was like he was shocked to see she had emotions. If anything it pissed her off enough to try and slap him away from her but he caught her hand.  Before she could retaliate to the intimate touch, he pulled her into his arms. And the dam burst. Everything she had ever held in, just came soaring out in sobs and hysterics. He held her all night, comforting her. He whispered endearments when she grew quiet, listened to when she spoke. That was all she needed to know she was actually in love.

Since that night though, he'd be… distant. Trying to give her extra space. Extra time to herself. He’d disappear for hours unend. She’d feel him reappear after she had fallen asleep to which she pretended to be dreamland. Obviously he was avoiding her. She had actually felt better having opened up to someone. Actually having been vulnerable for once. But she fucked up. Her mistake. She obviously misread things.  

But then as the building was suffocating her--the weight suddenly was thrown off her. She felt strong arms wrap around her; she thought she was dead. That Inuyasha finally came for her. Maybe he loved her after all. Everything was unclear. Muffled. She couldn't make fact from fiction. She swore she heard her name fall from his lips… and then briefly kiss her forehead...

When she awoke in the hospital a couple days later,  Miroku told her Inuyasha had gone in and got the heavy beams off of her and carried her out. Sango had called the ambulance already and Miroku ensured Inuyasha returned home and promised he would be in contact with him when he knew more.

They convinced her mom that she and Miroku had been jumped and brought to the warehouse by the thugs. They ran off when they felt the building begin to collapse and Miroku had been just out of way to only have some cuts and bruises.

Kagome unfortunately had a sprained wrist, a dislocated shoulder, a cracked hip, and a busted femur. She got 4 stitches to her temple but otherwise, she was okay. She was lucky to be alive, they said. 

“Miroku… Have you--Have you talked to Inuyasha?”

“Well, I did promise him, Kagome. He was very worried about you.”

“I don’t know why,” she scoffed in the passenger seat of the car. “He acts like he’d prefer if I didn’t exist.”

“From where I was standing last week, I think he feels far from that,” he teased turning to her smiling.

She blushed under the scrutiny, “Wh-What do you mean?”

“Ah, it is not for me to say; but I will tell you he does not wish to see you dead.”

“Yea,” she added, rolling her eyes pouting. “Doesn’t want to be stuck with me for eternity.”

“Oh Kagome,” he said disapprovingly as he stopped the car in front of the shrine getting out of the car to help her. Her mom was working at the hospital, Sota was at school, and her grandpa had been called away on business with another shrine. Miroku was the only one left to really care for her--a responsibility he lovingly took. “Just relax. It isn’t like that either.”

She stood shakely on one leg and took his arm but he smiled and turned to his left rather than paying her attention. Perplexed, her eyes followed to where he was looking and she saw him--Inuyasha. Standing at the steps to the shrine. Waiting for them.

“Inuyasha,” Kagome breathed.

“Monk, can you take her crutches inside? Maybe make her something to eat since I’m not used to that kind of technology still… I’ll grab her. I can’t see ya making it halfway up the stairs with her on your back,” he said never breaking eye contact with her.

“Of course,” Miroku winked to Kagome. “I’ll see you up there.” Before she could protest, Miroku shot up the stairs with the crutches in hand.

She cursed him under breath and gasped when she saw Inuyasha had closed the proximity between them.

“Inu--”

“Hold on,” he said as he lifted her in his arms gently. Her arms automatically swung around his neck, wincing at the starin from her wrist and shoulder. He grimaced but jumped up the stairs and used the window to her room to enter the house and then set her gently on her bed. 

To say she was baffled by his behavior was an understatement. It was like he was pulling a full one-eighty.

“Uhm--Inu--”

“Are you fucking crazy?!!? You could have been killed!!! You told the monk to leave so you could finish the spirit off!?!?! You’re lucky as all damn hell I followed you!!!”

“Wait--you--what??! You followed me?!?”

“Besides the point--answer the fucking question!!” he growled getting in her face.

“Look! I wasn’t about to let us both die! I knew I could have handled it!”

“Yea--you ‘handled’ it alright!! You almost got yourself killed!! Fuck Kagome!! What in God’s name were you even thinking!?!? Sota already lost a dad, your mother lost her husband and your grandfather lost a son!!! You trying to add to the family misfortune?!?! Goddamnit!!! You’re a fucking idiot!!! I can’t believe you were so willing to go down with the spirit for what?!?! So she wouldn’t harass her best friend and ex boyfriend-person??!”

“That’s my job, Inuyasha! I’ve been doing it for the last three years now and let me tell you, I have been doing just fine without you!”

“Without me, you would have fucking died there Kagome!!! I caught the shit just as it landed on you!! Without me you would have bled out and never seen the light of day again!! Was it worth it?!?!”

“Obviously Miroku is safe and Sango has her boyfriend. The other teens are fine so, yea, it would have been. I would have completed my job and been fine,” she lied.

“Dead--you would have been DEAD!!! You’re missing the fucking point!!” His hands slammed down to cage her between his arms, chest, and the headboard. He snarled angrily at her making her just as angry as him.

“What’s your fucking problem?! As of late, it didn’t really seem like you cared if I was here or not anyway!!” she yelled back.

“Of course I fucking care, stupid!!”

“Is that so?? Just don’t want my brother as your roommate? Scared when he turns thirteen he’ll put two and two together that he can see ghosts too??”

“No! The brat doesn’t scare me!!”

“Then why do you care if I’m here or not!!?”

“Because you can’t leave me!!!”

She froze and exhaled sharply. She must’ve forgotten how to breathe because her chest grew tight and knots formed in her belly.

“Wh--” she started.

“You’re… the only friend I’ve had in five-hundred years, Kagome. Why would you… Why were you willing to throw all that away?”

“Like I said Inuyasha…” she said carefully. “You didn’t seem very interested in being my friend for the past couple of weeks anyway. I wasn’t trying to sacrifice myself; I honestly thought I could handle it.”

“It’s not--It’s not that I wasn’t interested in being your friend,” he admitted sitting down beside her. “I was afraid I crossed a line with you.”

“What line did you think you crossed?”

“The night I found you crying… I couldn't let you be alone. I couldn’t leave you. I--I pushed myself on you,” he admitted. If he could blush, she knew he would be.

“It’s okay. I’m not upset by it… If anything, I’m grateful. I’ve never been able to open up to anyone about this before. It was… nice. I really appreciate it. I also, I uhm, I really appreciate your friendship. Aside from Miroku and Sango, I don’t have any friends. It’s not easy to make when you’re a freak, ya know?”

He stared into her eyes and leaned in; he brushed his lips against hers making her blush hard enough for the both of them. 

But she could lean in and return the pressure, her bedroom door swung open and Inuyasha was leaning against the bench of the bay window. Arms crossed. His head turned away. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt; I brought you some water and soup,” Miroku offered, placing it down on her bedside table. He quickly left the room and Kagome turned to try and find Inuyasha only to see he disappeared.

Some reunion. 

[theyearoftheking]

Book Fifty-Eight: Lisey’s Story

“Memories screwed up perspective, and the most vivid ones could annihilate time completely while they held sway.” 

I’m going to be honest. I’ve really hit a slump here, and am finding it hard to retain my enthusiasm for this project. I will continue on, because I want to end 2020 being able to tell people I read every word Stephen King has ever written; but right now the struggle is real. 

Lisey’s Story intensified the struggle. I thought it was long, meandering, and it took too damn long to get to the point. I’m not even sure there was a point. And it includes one of the most graphically creative uses of a can opener I’ve ever heard of. I’m still covering my chest and wincing just thinking about it. 

Lisa “Lisey” Landon is still mourning the death of her husband, famous writer, Scott Landon two years after his death. She’s still going through his office, trying to bring herself to donate his manuscripts and assorted sundries when her sister, Amanda, goes into a self-cutting and eventual catatonic state. 

Lisey and her other sister Darla don’t know what to do about Amanda. She has a history of harming herself, and her most recent bout of mania was the result of an ex-boyfriend coming back to town with a new wife. Lisey and Darla finally decide to call Greenlawn, the local mental health facility to see if they have a bed for Amanda. Come to find out, prior to his death, Scott had called Greenlawn, and convinced them to keep a spot open for Amanda, just in case. So, Lisey and Darla get Amanda committed, and the entire process dredges up memories for Lisey.

She is drawn back to her memories of Scott, especially some of the ones she can’t explain. She can’t explain why he was so insistent they not have children, or the strange disappearing acts he’d sometimes do, or how he was so quick to heal, or the weird catatonic states he’d go into- so similar to Amanda’s. Scott told her about how his brother went crazy, his dad had to chain him up in the basement (as you do), and after he was eventually killed, Scott transported him to a mythical place called Boo’ya Moon to try and bring him back to life. He was unsuccessful, so he just buried him there instead. 

In the midst of all these memories, Lisey starts getting strange phone calls from a man named “Zack McCool,” demanding that Lisey donate Scott’s papers to his alma mater. Lisey is annoyed, and politely tells “Zack” to go fuck himself. He retaliates by leaving a dead cat in her mailbox. And then when Lisey still doesn’t donate the papers, he drugs her, ties her up, and attacks her breast with a can opener. *Shudder*

Once Lisey wakes up, she heads to see Amanda, teleports to Boo’ya Moon, and Amanda is cured. Then, they head back to Lisey’s and wait for John Doolin, aka: “Zack”. Come to find out, Doolin spent time in a mental health care facility with Gerd Allen Cole, a man who shot Scott (Ha! Rhymes!) at a groundbreaking ceremony for a new campus library. So, Doolin picked up Cole’s mantle and ran with it. Well, until he ended up shot, and his corpse was dropped at Boo’ya Moon. 

Amanda is cured, the stalker is gone, and Lisey is free to finally get rid of Scott’s belongings. The final chapter of the book concludes with a chapter of his life Scott wrote just for Lisey- all about killing his dad. So romantic, right?

This book was chock full of Steve universe references:

Castle Rock

Derry

“Happy Crappy”

Lisey is from Cleave’s MIlls

Gilead

Dark Score Lake

Chambray work shirts

Norris Ridgewick

Andy Clutterbuck

“Lit out for the territories” 

And the most 2020 reference of all, was when Scott was dying and Lisey had to visit him in the isolation ward. “We think he has some exotic pneumonia, possibly even the Bird Flu, but whatever it is, we haven’t been able to identify it...It’s really doing a number on him. As the saying is. Just a mask should be enough, Mrs. Landon, unless you have cuts...”

Ah, the quaint old days of Bird Flu. #nostolgia 

In case you couldn’t tell, Lisey’s Story just bored the crap out of me. It was too long, and I just didn’t care by the end of it. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 38

Total Dark Tower References: 54

Book Grade: D

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Black House: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

The Dark Tower: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

Wolves of the Calla: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Song of Susannah: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

From a Buick 8: B

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

The Colorado Kid: B-

Storm of the Century: B-

Everything’s Eventual: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Cell: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Faithful: D

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Lisey’s Story: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers: D

Next up is Duma Key, which I’ve heard great things about. And the first ten pages are already more promising than Lisey’s Story. So there’s that.

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca

[garnetluxray45]

So, I’m Zukka trash but I also love Suki so let’s talk

First of all, can I just say, thank you guys for the notes on my Izumi being a waterbender post, love y’all and I wish y’all the best!

Now, let’s get to it.

So, we know that Sokka and Suki were still going strong at the end of the original series. They were being the best kind of teens, just loving each other and still getting shit done. We catch glimpses of this in the comics that follow it and they’re still being cute.

I mean, just look at this shit. They are in love and we stan. Now, the comics also confirmed that Suki and the other Kyoshi Warriors were put as guards for Zuko during the time of the kidnappings and Azula being out on the loose. And it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume the Zuko has the Kyoshi Warriors on call should shit go south. Suki and Zuko would probably develop a solid friendship and worked really well together, to the point that Zuko considered her the best nonbending warrior he knew, much to Sokka’s dismay. So, they worked together and the three people ended up being a pretty good trio, with Zuko being the third wheel. Zuko would also have his gay awakening around this time and probably confine in Suki that “Hey, I think I’m into dudes and also your boyfriend”, which she’d probably be a little awkward about but they’re grown enough to not let feelings ruin that friendship. So, things are great, right? The three are together and everything’s fine.

Well, not exactly.

So, I don’t know if this part is 100% confirmed but Suki apparently dies young. I’d be willing to say that she died in combat because she would not go down without a fight. I’m assuming that Suki was helping Zuko with some problems with rebellion with the New Ozai Society. Talks go poorly between Zuko and the Society and things started to heat up. They tried to take Zuko’s life and Suki fought back and took a direct hit from a firebender. This would kill a nonbender who isn’t prepared to deflect an elemental attack and have the one track mind of ‘defend my friend’. So, Suki goes down, Zuko retaliates and helps the rest of the people he brought escape. 

Cue the sad feels.

Sokka hears this and he’s obviously upset. And rather then blame Zuko, like a YA protagonist, he reasons that Zuko could have done nothing in that scenario. There’s a vigil for her and Suki gets a special grave on Kyoshi Island along with a memorial in the Fire Nation Palace. Sokka has lost his mojo now. He has now had two loves who have died because they were serving the people. Zuko offers Sokka a place in the palace and he accepts. Sokka only comes out to pay respects at Suki’s memorial before retiring. Zuko lets this go on for a few months before he comes to help him. He postpones his royal duties. Zuko sees Sokka in his room, covered in his blankets, his sheets wet from tears. Zuko has a heart to heart with him and he lets him know that if he needs anything, please just tell me so I can help you. Sokka pulls him into a hug and the two just shed tears and embrace for a bit. After this, Sokka slowly starts to come back to normal. He resumes his training and helps Zuko with royal duties. The two go about things as normal before Zuko, being the awkward turtleduck he is, accidentally lets it slip that he likes Sokka. Sokka and Zuko just stare at each other for a bit before Sokka tells him that “Zuko, I do like you, and I’d be willing to try but we’d be taking it slow” because, even though its been about a year and a few months now, Sokka’s still sensitive to the romantic loves he’s had. Zuko agrees and it starts with just small hugs here and there before progressing.

(Link to the art: https://picsart.com/zh_hant/i/sticker-avatar-atla-sokka-zuko-304372460328211 :D)

The two end up becoming the powerhouse duo of uniting the Water Tribes and Fire Nation. Things spiral and they end up adopting both a baby dragon and a little baby waterbender with claim to the throne. And things seem great! Everyone’s happy! Sokka has love again and Zuko has both an amazing husband and an heir to the throne. Things are awesome!

Until, Sokka dies.

Sokka has been confirmed to die before Zuko. As shown below:

For the parallel, I’m going to say that Sokka died in battle. I’m not too sure what possible threats there could be at the time so I’m going to say that the nonbender and bender conflict is the catalyst for this. Sokka tries to have peace talks with them but it’s actually a ploy to kill the nonbender cause he sided with the benders and is a essentially traitor to them. So, Sokka dies. Zuko grieves and the Fire Nation Palace goes quiet for a few days cause they basically lost the queen and Water Tribe ambassador. Zuko and Katara grieve together and Zuko carries on to lead the Fire Nation, being more closed off. And yeah! Zuko carries on to lead the Fire Nation and things go as they did from there in The Legend of Korra.

Sorry there’s no happy ending here but one more thing. Y’all remember Aunt Wu? Remember how she told Sokka “ Your future is full of struggle and anguish “? Well, it wouldn’t be very cash money of her to be wrong so, unfortunately, Sokka gets the short end of the stick. And with that, I conclude my tirade. Let me know what y’all think and if anything should be changed! Thanks for reading!

[anubislover]

A Heart to Be Used as Needed (a dark Corazon!LawxBaby 5 fic)

“Joker killed another one, huh?”

Sniffling and tearfully nodding her head, Baby 5 skulked into Trafalgar Law’s lab, the young Corazon’s afternoon coffee carefully balanced on a silver tray. “The bastard didn’t even give me enough time to set a wedding date.” The Buki Buki no Mi user was a mess; mascara blended with tears down her cheeks, her eyes were red and puffy, jet black hair tangled, and there were thin rips throughout her maid uniform. She’d clearly just come from another failed attempt at killing Doflamingo, her rage at once more being denied her dream of marital bliss no match for the shichibukai and his Ito Ito no Mi powers.

Law scoffed as he continued to dissect the man on his table. His victim was barely conscious, chest cavity wide open, any resistance he might make suppressed by restraints, a cocktail of opioids, and the fact that his limbs were in a bin on the other side of the operatory. Doflamingo had caught the guy snooping around the castle, so he’d been generously donated to the lab for the Surgeon of Death’s amusement. He’d started off using his powers, but after a while decided to practice more traditional surgery—minus the anesthesia, of course. The result was a rather bloody operating table, organs lined up in little trays encased in their own Rooms to keep his subject alive as long as possible.

Holding the man’s liver up to the light, Law tsked at the cirrhosis that had formed. “You know, they say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

Grimacing at her superior’s handywork, the maid replied haughtily, “I’m pretty sure it’s also finding pleasure in playing around with a man’s organs while he watches.”

“No, that’s sadism. Completely different.” Turning around, he pulled off the bloody latex gloves and surgical mask, switching them with the coffee mug, warm viscera dripping onto the polished silver. Despite being red with tears, Baby 5’s eyes rolled heavenwards in annoyance; with his abilities, he could have easily thrown those in the trash, but he always left it to her to clean up instead. Frowning at the red stains on his dress shirt and white lab coat, she knew she’d also be spending a good hour on his laundry. Oh, well. At least it made her feel useful.

Taking a sip of the bitter beverage as he leaned against the operating table, Law quickly scanned her for injuries. Apart from a few bruises and some thin cuts, she seemed relatively unharmed, but it was still worse than Joker’s usual retaliation. Either he’d been in a bad mood, or Baby 5 had really gone all out this time. “Need me to bandage those up?” the surgeon asked, indicating the long, thin slash at her waist.

She waved of his concern as she dumped the contaminated gloves into the trash. “Oh, don’t trouble yourself; I’ll take care of them later.”

It was an expected response; heaven forbid the maid allow anyone to do something for her. Half the time he had to drug her just to fix her up after a mission, as she’d insist on not being a burden even while bleeding out. So, knowing it was a lost cause, he pointed to the sink. “Then at least wash your face; I don��t need you dripping snot and makeup all over my nice, clean lab.” It wasn’t clean, and Baby 5 would inevitably be the one to mop up the blood later, but she was smart enough not to comment.

As she dutifully bent over the sink, scrubbing away tears and reapplying her lipstick, Law diverted his gaze from her injuries to instead appreciate the way her short dress and high heels made her legs look impossibly long. He couldn’t help it; as a doctor, he enjoyed studying anatomy, and as an admitted hedonist, he loved a sexy pair of legs on anyone. The way she leaned over, arching her back and presenting her pert ass, filled his head with impure thoughts of burying his stiff cock inside her, fucking her hard and slow while she made helpless little sounds of pleasure.

Joker really was a sadist, parading a beautiful, biddable woman around in such a tempting outfit, then basically forbidding anyone from touching her. It was easier on everyone else, as most saw her as a sister or niece if they regarded her at all, but as Law’d never bought into the family crap, he lacked that barrier. Instead, his main reason for not going after the sexy little maid boiled down to the knowledge that if he did, she’d cling to him for life, and Doflamingo would be pissed.

Even the best fuck in the world wasn’t worth upending his ultimate plans.

Downing half the mug of coffee in one go to quell his urges, he said, “Not that I approve of any of the worthless peons you’re stupid enough to fall for, but if you want to get married so badly, quit telling Joker and just elope. Why ask permission when you know you’ll never get it?” Despite his harsh words, he was vaguely impressed—foolish as it was, he’d give her props for persistence. Her intense desire to get married was almost comparable to his drive to bring the Heavenly Demon’s world crashing down around him before finally crushing his heart in his bare hands.

The fact was, despite being Corazon, Law had spent the past decade plotting to destroy Joker and his sick criminal empire. It was hardly for altruistic reasons; he’d set the whole world on fire so long as Doflamingo burned with it. All that mattered was avenging Cora-san, and there was no line he wouldn’t cross. A man in his position couldn’t afford to have scruples; his job generally revolved around torture, unethical experimentation, helping enforce Joker’s rule, keeping his twisted subordinates alive and in line, and more. How could he ever hope to take down the former Celestial Dragon if he wasn’t willing to do the same for his plans?

Besides his lack of limits, Law’s greatest strength was his patience. Much as he wanted to simply rip out his still-beating heart, Doflamingo was too strong to fight directly. At least, too strong for the Surgeon of Death. At first, Law’d planned on simply earning his trust and killing him on the operating table under the guise of performing the Perennial Youth Surgery, but after seeing how monstrously powerful and resilient he was, the young doctor had been forced to figure out a new plan. Then, two years ago, he’d had an epiphany; to take out a Warlord, you needed an Emperor, and he was in the perfect position to sabotage Joker and Kaido’s partnership. He would break one of the gears that kept the New World running, then sit back and relish the beautiful storm he’d ushered in.

It wouldn’t be easy, and at the moment, his greatest challenge was gathering the right allies to help him enact his brilliant scheme. Violet used her powers and sexual relationship with Joker to keep him informed of their boss’ plans and divert any suspicions of betrayal. Law had amassed a small but devoted crew eager to follow him into Hell. Last year, he’d secretly saved the Straw Hat boy at Marineford, healing and handing him over to Silvers Rayleigh to train with the intention of calling in the life debt once he and his crew were strong enough for the New World. The young upstart’s brand of chaos would be useful for destroying Joker’s SMILE factory and invoking Kaido’s wrath.

Slowly Trafalgar D. Water Law moved the pieces into place, playing a quiet game of chess with the unwitting shichibukai while acting as his sadistic but loyal Corazon.

Perhaps it was that devotion to subtlety and meticulous planning that made him so annoyed at Baby 5’s foolishness. “Seriously, you do this every time; flounce into his office crowing about how you’re getting married, and the next day the guy’s entire town has been razed to the ground.”

“But I want the Young Master’s approval!” she declared. She simply could not understand why everyone was so against her getting married. Ever since she was a child, she’d longed to belong somewhere, to be useful and needed by someone. To be a man’s wife meant that there was someone who truly valued her, who saw how useful she was and was happy to let her tend to his every need. To be useful was to be needed, to be needed was to be loved, and a loved person would never be abandoned in the mountains, determined a burden, or forgotten.

Once more presentable, her cheeks flushed as she basked in a romantic fantasy, imagining her hypothetical wedding day. “I know he’s just being protective and doing what he feels is best, but he’s never even met my boyfriends! Once he sees how truly in love we are, he’ll walk me down the aisle and give me away to my beloved—”

“That’s just it—he doesn’t want to give you away,” the Dark Doctor interrupted sourly, running a tattooed hand through his messy hair in irritation. Really, how was he the only one who saw through their boss’ illusion of “family” for the brainwashed cult that it was? Was it because he’d witnessed first-hand what he’d done to his own brother? The volatile maid was one of the few he cut any slack; he’d spent the past twelve years watching Doflamingo cultivate her psychological need to be needed into something fanatical and horribly unhealthy, whereas the rest were just plain cruel, stupid, or greedy. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t gleefully tear into her I delusion like a pinned-down frog, though. “You’re most useful when you’re solely devoted to him. If you marry outside the Family, your loyalties will be divided.”

“No, they won’t,” she argued, clasping her hands over her heart, eyes sparkling dramatically under the cold, florescent lights. “I’ll always be loyal to the Family!”

“But what if your husband wants you to choose between us and him?” Law pressed, setting down his mug. Normally, he didn’t bother trying to reason with her, but he was feeling particularly sadistic at the moment. Such utter devotion to that monster disgusted him, and something urged him to pick at the fresh scab over the maid’s damaged psyche and watch it bleed as she was forced to face painful reality. “Your taste in men is generally atrocious, so who’s to say you wouldn’t end up falling for the enemy? Let’s say your husband needs you to shoot Joker, but Doflamingo needs you to kill your husband. Who would you obey?”

“I—I would…” she trailed off, eyes dropping to the floor and hands wringing her apron as her mind struggled. Cheeks flushed red with strain, white teeth bit into her plump, cherry red lip, and sweat started to form across her brow. The butt of her cigarette fell to the floor, slowly burning out on the white linoleum. Law didn’t need to check her pulse to know her heart was racing, and her bountiful chest heaved as panicked adrenaline raced through her veins. It was like a computer attempting to process a paradox, slowly frying its own circuits trying to figure out the unsolvable answer.

A wide, cold smirk stretched his lips, gold eyes greedily taking in her mental anguish. Really, it was quite an attractive look on her. Control freak that he was, he got a special, sick thrill from the knowledge that he could play with her emotions so easily, his words as precise and sharp as his scalpel. “Exactly. That’s why he’ll always kill your pitiful fiancés. He doesn’t trust you to make good decisions on your own, so he guards you like a dragon would a princess, incinerating any would-be knights in shining armor trying to rescue you.”

“But I don’t need to be rescued,” she insisted weakly.

“Well, that’s good, because none of those idiots cared about you enough to want to rescue you. They wanted to take advantage of your weakness, just like everyone else.”

“You’re wrong; they loved me!”

“Then tell me all about your latest ‘romantic’ proposal,” he said sarcastically, slowly circling her like a leopard sizing up a wounded doe, deciding what part of her soft, defenseless flesh he should sink his teeth into first. “Did he get down on one knee and declare his undying devotion? Whisper sweet nothings as you gazed at the stars? Give you a sparkling diamond ring and a bouquet of red roses?” he rasped in her ear as his hand teasingly stroked along her shoulders.

“He…he gave me a daisy,” she muttered, hopelessly staring at the floor.

“Ooo, a daisy! I’m sure it was the prettiest weed freshly picked from a crack in the sidewalk a woman could ask for.”

Spinning around, she struck him, the deafening slap of her open palm against his cheek echoing throughout the operatory. “Why are you such an asshole?!” she shouted, tears once again welling up in her big, dark eyes.

Even though he’d been expecting it, Law glared at her like a basilisk for her insubordination, smirk returning as she instantly cowered before him. Toying with her was so amusing, her reactions volatile yet comically predictable. Really, it was something he’d grown to enjoy over the years—seeing just how far he could push her before she snapped, only to watch her immediately regret it from nothing more than a cold look.

Relishing the power trip he got from her fear, the Corazon stalked back to the table. His victim’s eyes were becoming a bit clearer and his struggles had renewed, strained noises bubbling up in his throat as the drugs wore off. It seemed his body had processed the opioids more quickly than expected; too bad for the unlucky fool, but that just meant more fun for the Surgeon of Death.

Chuckling, Law glanced over his shoulder at Baby 5. With no one to cling to like she normally would, she’d remained frozen in place, trembling as she fearfully awaited his response. Dismemberment was his go-to punishment for her if her were in a particularly bad mood, though he always put her back together, and by the next morning she’d be back to scolding him for not showing the young master enough respect or stealing her last cigarette.

Lucky for her, this was one of his better days, so instead of having her join the man on the table, Law threw her a bone. “I need you to fetch me that gag on the counter. I don’t trust my patient not to start screaming again, and it would be rude of him to cause a racket when we’re trying to have a conversation.”

The second the word “need” had left his mouth, Baby 5 ceased her cowering, dashing over to the counter and grabbing the leather gag, nearly tripping over herself in her eagerness to be useful.

Despite himself, the Dark Doctor gave the barest hint of a smile. Much as the woman annoyed him with her fanatical devotion to Doflamingo, her desire to help was just so pure it was, at times, endearing. If he were honest, Baby 5 was probably the one he hated the least in the organization; besides being the nicest to look at, her wants and needs were simple, and she could be surprisingly compassionate in little ways. She was one of the few who, despite considering him a traitor, had acknowledged just how much Cora-san had meant to Law. Held his hand while he’d mourned for his savior after he’d been dragged kicking and screaming back to the Family. Been genuinely thrilled that his Amber Lead Disease was cured. Taken up smoking with him as a small tribute to the former Corazon, huddling behind a tree as they retched at their first taste of tobacco.

If nothing else, he always enjoyed watching her attack their boss when he murdered her fiancés. Even when she failed, Law found it to be catharsis-by-proxy, as he spent most of his days plotting how to horribly and painfully murder the shichibukai. A hell of a turn-on, too; who wouldn’t have the occasional sexual fantasy about a hot maid trying to assassinate the man you hated most?

Sparing a nod of thanks, the surgeon shoved the gag into his patient’s mouth before tightening the restraints. He prided himself on his steady hands, and he wouldn’t have his work ruined because the worthless fool couldn’t keep still. “You may call me an asshole, but I’m the only one who cares about you enough to give the cold, hard truth. Everyone else sugar-coats their words so they can keep you compliant and unwilling to think for yourself. So, you’re welcome.”

Hands fisting on her hips, Baby 5 scowled. It was remarkable how she could go from trembling before him to arguing like they were still children. “Oh, so people who are awful to me care, and yet the men you claim give such horrible proposals don’t? You’re so full of shit, Law!”

He shrugged, taking another sip of his now-lukewarm coffee. “Am I? Even when I was officially promoted to Corazon, you still treated me the same as when we were kids—slapping me when I got mouthy and refusing to kiss my ass like all the other sycophants in this shithole. Are you saying you don’t care about me?”

Her beautiful face twisted in genuine confusion. “I…well, of course I do, but…”

“I let you get away with so much more than anyone else. You hit me, insult me, order me about, and the most I’ve ever done is cut off your limbs for a few hours, and I always fix you back up good as new. Because, even though you’re a foolish, emotional pain in the ass, our little spats are the only thing that feel genuine some days. To you, I’m just Law, and I actually appreciate that.” It surprised him how honest he was being, but he supposed it was as he said; he cared enough not to bullshit her, at least compared to the others.

“You do?”

“Yeah. So that’s why I’m telling you to stop accepting every ‘proposal’ a guy throws your way. You’re famous for your eagerness to please, and men are always looking to take advantage of that. And even if you did manage to find the one decent soul in this world who genuinely loved you, Joker will never let you go. He’ll kill anyone who might take you from the Family.”

Something sparked in her eyes at his words, as if he’d given her the greatest epiphany of her life. “Maybe…maybe I could marry someone in the Family, then! Trebol nearly offered just this afternoon!”

Law gagged on his coffee at the very thought. A man like him needed a strong stomach, but perhaps he did have some limits, after all; not even he would inflict marriage to the snot-dripping freak on someone. “Please tell me you had to good sense not to accept.” He facepalmed at her embarrassed blush. How could anyone’s standards be so low? Was marriage really such an enticing concept that she’d bed that? And the risk of death aside, shouldn’t a woman as sexy and submissive as her attract better suitors?

A sudden, cruel idea popped into his head. What if he married Baby 5? A dangerous assassin and obedient maid could certainly be useful in his scheme. Doflamingo wouldn’t dare kill him for proposing; not if he wanted that Perennial Youth Surgery. He wouldn’t even have a good excuse to refuse the match, considering how it would both keep Baby in the Family and—so he’d believe—further secure his Corazon’s loyalty. After all, what better reward could Law ask for after years of faithful service than a gorgeous trophy wife?

And on the day he finally enacted his revenge against the Heavenly Demon, he’d either have a powerful, completely devoted ally in Baby 5, or she’d be too crippled by indecision to pick between them, keeping her from interfering. Either way, Joker would have lost a piece on the chessboard and not even know until it was too late.

A little voice that sounded disturbingly like Cora-san’s whispered in his ear that using Baby 5 like that made him no better than the Doflamingo, but Law brushed it away. If anything, he was being kind to the silly maid; hadn’t Rosinante wanted to keep him, Baby 5, and Buffalo out of Joker’s clutches? The Marine’s own methods of doing so hadn’t been gentle or entirely ethical, either—throwing kids out of a window wasn’t exactly a safe way to deter them from a life of piracy. Besides, even with his not-so-noble intentions towards her, Law was still a far better suitor than anyone she’d pick on her own. In fact, he was making her dream of becoming a wife a reality, and wasn’t that generous of him?

Putting his mug down, the surgeon reached out to gently rest his fingertips under her chin. Startled at the unexpected contact, Baby 5 nearly stumbled back, but he stepped closer, wrapping his arm securely around her waist to steady her. “It astounds me that a woman as beautiful as you would even consider settling for a disgusting thing such as Trebol,” he said lowly, looking deeply into her obsidian eyes. It would be easy to simply say he needed her or demand she marry him, but he wanted to be sure her loyalty fully shifted to him, otherwise, she could become a liability.

Besides, seduction was just so much more fun; since he’d hit adulthood, Law’d indulged in all manner of sexual vices with hundreds of partners, men and women alike. After all, he hadn’t expected to live past thirteen, and even with his Amber Lead Disease gone, he was on a ticking clock. Death loomed on his horizon, whether it he be killed in battle, forced to fulfill his purpose and conducting the Perennial Youth Surgery, or Joker uncovering his betrayal. So, in between plotting and research, why not make the most out of the time he had? And for all her annoying quirks, Baby 5 was a gorgeous, obedient woman, and he’d be lying if he didn’t like it when she showed her feisty side. She’d starred in many a wet dream over the years, and now he could finally justify making them a reality.

Hot, coffee-scented breath made the wispy strands of hair that framed her face flutter delicately. “You’d see you’ve got far better options if you simply opened your eyes.”

For her part, Baby 5 was utterly shocked. First, Law admitting that he cared about her, and now he was implying there was someone out there who might be interested in proposing? Was he serious, or just making fun of her like Trebol?

Slowly, the tattooed fingers at her chin journeyed south, brushing lightly down her pale throat, over her trembling heart, between her voluptuous breasts, across her trim waist, until they reached the pocket of her apron. Her eyes were fixated on his hand as he fished out a cigarette and her lighter, her breath quickening as he raised the former to her mouth. Instinctively, she opened up to take it, but with a playful smirk, he teasingly ran the filter over her bright red lips, amused at the way the cherry gloss stained the white paper.

Finally, he pushed the cigarette between her lips, murmuring, “Have you ever been kissed before, Baby-ya?”

The way her cheeks went pink was so uncharacteristically demure he had to chuckle, the sound rumbling deep in his chest, sending strange but thrilling tingles between her legs. “N-no,” she stammered bashfully.

With a soft click, Law flicked the sparkwheel with his thumb, carefully bringing the dancing flame to light the tip of the cigarette. He could tell he was making her nervous by the way she hurriedly took several steadying puffs, embers flaring with every inhalation.

“Such a shame. I imagine there are women who would kill for lips like yours. And the way you practically suck on that cigarette,” he growled, gold eyes fixating on her mouth, “it gives a man ideas.”

“What kind of ideas?” she asked, breathless and full of wide-eyed, eager curiosity.

Unconsciously, his arm tightened around her waist at her innocence, forcing her to arch against him, soft curves molding against hard muscle. God, she didn’t even know how tempting that question made her. If he were a man with less control, she’d be on her knees learning first-hand what a mouth like hers was made for.

Plucking the cigarette from her unresisting lips, Law took a long drag before blowing the smoke out his nose as he looked down at her with hooded eyes. Licking his lips, he could taste the lingering hints of cherry gloss, sharp and sweet and delicious. “The kind a sweet little thing like you wouldn’t ever dream of.”

“Are they,” she swallowed harshly, pupils dilating as she instinctively gripped his lab coat, “the kind husbands and wives have?”

“Husbands and wives, lovers, bedmates, bored, horny teenagers; basically, anyone who likes to fuck,” he replied before taking another drag. As he leaned back his head to release the stream of smoke into the air, he smirked devilishly at her rapt expression. Oh, he was going to ruin her.

Gently tucking a strand of raven hair behind her ear, he murmured, “Let me talk to Joker. Maybe I can pick his brain, figure out if there’s anyone he would consider a worthy husband for you.”

He forced himself not to laugh at the shadow of disappointment that crossed her face. Dropping her gaze, she pushed against his chest, trying to break away. “Ah…thank you, Law, but you don’t have to. I’d hate to be a burden, and you’re so busy—”

“Nonsense. A loyal, caring woman like you deserves a husband who appreciates everything you have to offer.” Deftly, he maneuvered them so her backside was pressed against the operating table, caging her in and thwarting her escape. Their legs entangled, Baby 5 had no choice but to meet his piercing gaze as he absently flicked the cigarette’s ashes onto a small puddle of blood by her hand. “I may not always agree with him, but he was right to kill the worthless bastards you were so infatuated with. Hell, my only complaint is that he always got to them before I did.”

“What?”

“I mean, if killing every man on the planet is what it takes for you to notice me…”

Baby 5 blinked blankly, mind desperately trying to process what he’d just let slip. “Law, are you…?”

“Am I what, Baby-ya?” he teased, leaning forward as he took another drag, his hot breath mingling with the sweet smoke as it fanned over her lovely face.

“Are you…proposing?”

“What if I were? Would you blindly accept like you did Trebol’s?” Putting the cigarette down, he ran the very tips of his fingers over her exposed collarbone before resting his palm over her thundering heart. He was positive if he removed it, it would jump right out of his hand. “Are you so desperate that you’d accept the proposal of a man who’s cut you apart for fun?” Roughly, his other hand buried itself in her thick, jet black hair, yanking her head back and pulling her even closer until their lips lingered barely an inch apart. “So desperate you’d give yourself over to a man covered in blood, pressed against an operating table occupied by a half-dissected idiot?”

“Yes,” she replied with bated breath, hopeful eyes sparkling.

God, she was weak. Law could pin her down and fuck her on that table, do any number of depraved things to that luscious, untouched body and she wouldn’t even complain so long as he said he needed her. The thought was tempting, but he couldn’t risk Joker refusing their union because he couldn’t control his libido. The Heavenly Demon had to feel like the surgeon genuinely desired his approval—that he wasn’t trying to go behind his back and destroy his wretched “Family.”

“Then no, I’m not.” Despair crumpled her face, tears once more welling up at how easily he’d played with her emotions. Before they could fully fall, Law released her hair to cup her chin. “Mainly because my pride would never let me give such a half-assed proposal. When I ask you to marry me, I’ll have Doflamingo’s blessing, a ring, and it’ll be somewhere far more romantic than my laboratory.”

Jaw dropping, she stared at him in disbelief. “Y-you mean that?”

“Absolutely. I can’t stand the sight of your tears; if marriage is what it takes to make you happy, I’ll do everything I can to help.”

“Thank you, Law!” she cried, flinging her arms around his neck. “You really do care about me!”

He had to chuckle as he returned her embrace; he knew she’d readily agree, but her pure joy at just the prospect of marrying him stroked his inflated ego.

“I promise I’ll be the best wife you could ask for! I’ll clean your surgical equipment twice a day, launder your lab coats by hand, give you back rubs, make onigiri for dinner every night—whatever you need!”

A tiny smile pulled at his lips. All such sweet, innocent promises from a woman who was far more sheltered than one would ever imagine from an assassin for a family of criminals. Though, he’d definitely take her up on that last one.

“Just promise me you’ll be a loyal, dutiful wife, Baby-ya, and I’ll give you a marriage unlike anything you’ve ever imagined,” he whispered intimately, cradling her cheek. His hand was so big he could fit the whole side of her face in his palm. She turned her face to nuzzle it blissfully, causing his calloused thumb to brush over her plump bottom lip.

Gold eyes darkened at the sight of her red lips against the tattooed appendage. Unconsciously, he stroked it against the seam of her mouth, gently coaxing her to open up and let it slip into her soft, hot mouth. He gave a faint moan at the sensation of her silken lips wrapping around him, molten tongue curiously stroking the rough pad. Experimentally, he gave it a few shallow thrusts, and he nearly lost his damn mind when she responded with an instinctive suck.

“Good girl,” he whispered without thinking, and the way her pupils dilated with desire at his words forced him to pull away, lest he jump the gun and the eager maid before him.

“Is…is that the kind of idea my mouth gives you?” she asked, panting faintly, her pale cheeks flushed as she nibbled on her bottom lip.

“That’s one of the tamer ideas,” he rasped, retrieving the forgotten cigarette. It had almost burnt down to the filter, but there was just enough left for a few steadying puffs. “Once we’re married, you’ll get to experience every dirty thought I’ve ever had about you. Would you like that?” he asked, unable to help himself.

Her harsh swallow was audible in the taut silence of the lab. “Yes.”

The pleasant throb between his legs urged him to start the wedding night early, but besides the logical part of his brain telling him he needed to set things in motion with Doflamingo, it was coaxing him to wait; this wasn’t the time or place to indulge in such a delicious morsel. Baby 5 needed to be savored, like a gourmet meal he’d spent hours preparing, not swallowed down in one bite. Once she was officially his, he’d have plenty of time to mold her into his perfect concubine, subordinate, secret weapon, and tool.

Desire under control, he took her hand, pressing a chaste, gentlemanly kiss to her knuckles. “I’ll meet with Joker tonight; I’m sure I can convince him we’re a match made in heaven. But I need you to not to tell anyone about us until I formally propose, alright? I want everything to be perfect, and we can’t risk Joker finding out too early and thinking we didn’t value his approval.”

Black eyes sparkled as his careful choice of words. “I promise, darling!”

“Such a good girl,” he chuckled, admiring the way her cheeks instantly flushed at his praise. How…interesting.

As Baby 5 giddily skipped out the door, the click of her heels silenced by the door slamming shut behind her, Law turned to the man bound to his table staring at him with wide-eyed shock. He’d nearly forgotten they’d had an audience, and he’d have to make sure he was properly disposed of before meeting with Joker; he couldn’t let anyone spoil his plans before he even got to the good part, after all.

“Oh, don’t give me that look,” he said as he pressed the smoldering embers of the dying cigarette against his patient’s cheek, smirking as the accusing eyes watered in pain. A fresh pair of surgical gloves stretched over his long fingers, and as he selected his scalpel, he added, “Trust me—I’m still a better option than that fucking creep Trebol.”

[artificialqueens]

Half a Life (Rajila)  - Lyonne-dlm & Saiphl

Well, this is like a spin off from the Soulmate AU we started back in November with the Trixyawrimo, some of the readers asked for the backstory to Raja and Nila, and this is the outcome, 

We hope you enjoy the reading.

Half a Life

Raja just turned fifteen when her life changed 180°. She was beautiful, funny and everybody loved her, the perfect girl that every mother had only dreamt about, and an incredibly talented artist too. She met Gary when they were in their first year in Junior High, it was love at first sight.

Gary took her to the movies and for a milkshake the night he properly asked her to be his girlfriend; none of them really caring about the time when they first have a glance of their soulmates. They had figured their future together. They’ll planned to finish the high school first of their classes, being his the higher notes, he was going to be the valedictorian, they’ll go to an Ivy League college. She was going to get a degree in visual arts and he was going to be not just a doctor, he was going to be the most prestigious cardiologist all over the US Territory.

He’ll pursue his specialty while Raja started to make a name for herself in the art world, and when the time comes, they’ll become Mr. and Mrs. Kho. Future was nothing but perfect for them.

Maharani Amrull, Raja’s mother, was happy to see her little girl glowing with the expectation of the life she had planned, she was happy to see her baby so in love. Still she feared the day when reality would hit them both. She knew the time of them dreaming of their soulmates was just around the corner, and she wanted to give a reality check with her daughter, just to make sure she won’t get devastated if she found out Gary wasn’t meant to be her person.

“Raja, baby, can we talk?“, she asked, even after eighteen years living in New York her indonesian accent strong.

The girl put down her backpack and looked straight at her mother “sure mani, what happened?” Raja sat besides her mother in the dining room, still smiling after being kissed by Gary in the front door back from the school.

“Gary brought you home, right?”, Maharani asked, doing her best to disguise her worries while the dreamy smile in her daughter’s face widened. “Rajie, I hate to be the one bringing this up, but…” she sighed, preparing herself for the outcome of that conversation.

Raja’s smile faded as soon as it was spreading, she knew her mother like the back of her hand, and knew immediately what she was about to talk. “Mom, please… no, don’t do this, I’m sure I’ll dream of Gary, and he’ll dream of me, we’re meant to be together”, she said, matter of factly.

“Don’t do this please baby, what if it doesn’t happen? I mean, I know you love that boy, and I’d be crazy if I wouldn’t , but baby the possibility is there and I just want to make sure you don’t feel disappointed if someone else is meant to be with you.“ The woman’s face fell when she saw the tears sliding her daughter’s beautiful face.

“Who knows mom? It might be his voice or his face what I get when the time comes?” she said in a whisper, feeling her heart already shattered with the mere possibility. “It happened to you and dad, mom… you were with who you were meant to be” she retaliated, part unconvinced, part hopeful. “I really hope it’s him.”

Maharani reached to take her daughter’s hand in hers. “Dad and I were lucky baby, but you know it rarely happens, most of the people spend their late teens and all their twenties finding their one.” Unable to hold it back anymore, Raja started crying.

A couple of weeks later, when Raja was waiting for Gary to arrive to the school on his birthday, she had an odd feeling that something was wrong, but she couldn’t guess what it was, until he showed up at school. All lowered shoulders and looking to the floor, he stood in front of Raja, stuttering unintelligible words, that confirmed her worst fears: Gary got the face of a girl, a girl that was not her. “I’m sorry Raj… I… I really wanted for it to be you, but I guess… I guess this is where it ends.”

Gary hugged her protectively, while Raja melted on his arms for the last time, he caressed her hair while she was sobbing “You’ll always have a special place in my heart Rajie, you’ll always be my first love.” Kissing her temple, he added, “He will be one lucky bastard… he’s getting the jackpot with you.” They parted ways with sad smiles, and Raja secluded herself, losing track of time until June 14th, when she woke up in the middle of the night, all drenched in cold sweat after hearing a loud laugh and a high pitched voice, one that even if it was still changing, was clearly a female voice.

In clear denial, Raja spent the following three years begging her mother to take her to a therapist. She thought she was going insane, first of all, there wasn’t a slight chance for it to be her soulmate’s voice… she sounded so young. Second and most important, she couldn’t be soulmates with a girl, because, she was straight… wasn’t she? The fact that she spent some extra time appreciatively looking to some of her classmates on the dressing rooms for gym class meant nothing, she couldn’t be gay.

She gave up asking for professional support after her brother Sutan came back home after a year volunteering in Africa, just to introduce to the family his brand new boyfriend and soulmate David, a Russian boy with avid brown eyes and quick witted mind. The night she turned nineteen, she decided to seriously start looking for her soulmate whose voice was now clearer and still high pitched.

====

Time passed faster than she expected, and before she could notice it, she graduated from Columbia University. By that time, she’d already met most of the lesbian girls in the campus and also from nearby cities, none of them were the owner of the high pitched voice that still drove her insane every night.

At twenty two, she moved to Chicago, her first big job as a manager assistant in an indie art gallery, and she got used quickly to the lifestyle in a new city. Charming and easy going as she was, she quickly became friends with a Russian girl named Sasha, who shared the same passion for visuals that she has, and also with a former new yorker named Aja.

Raja found in her job a way to escape from her thoughts. She had the idea that once she accepted and embraced the fact she had a female soulmate, will make easier the task to find her, and when it didn’t happen, she just tied herself to the only thing giving her some kind of steadiness.

“What you need is getting laid Raja, seriously, you can’t just live going from home to the gallery and then back”, Aja said, complaining for the zillionth time when her friend refused to go out. “Staying secluded won’t make a progress on your source, girl” the annoyance in the other girl’s voice bitter as bile.

Sasha laughed when she heard Raja hiss for the same zillionth time to Aja. “I’m perfectly ok, all I need is my job, and if it’s bound to happen, she will appear.” The blonde russian cackled to that affirmation. “Don’t look at me like that Aja, and you shut up Sasha, I’m done looking, I’m done failing every single time.” Raja sighed. “I’ve been looking for her, now’s her time to look for me!”

“You’re so stubborn Raja, I can’t talk to you anymore!” Aja said exasperated, “and I’m serious when I say I won’t take another snap from you miss thing, I’m done with your attitude.”

Raja looked at Aja, a hurt expression in her face making the other regret her words. Raja was about to snap back when Sasha stood between them. “I have a solution and you can’t say no Raja, and I bet Aja is actually up to it.” Both girls looked at Sasha, curiosity creeping on their faces. “We’re going on vacation, five days, five stars resort in Hawaii all inclusive.” Aja clapped enthusiastically and Raja was about to object when Sasha said “already paid, Mom and Dad owed me two birthday and three christmas gifts, so they immediately said yes, even when I included my best friends in the package.”

“Well… you can count me in Sasha, I haven’t had vacation since… forever” she said, a shy smile spreading through her lips. “But…” Sasha arched a brow and Aja looked at her with a face that said ‘I’ll kill you with your buts and all’.

“But?” both girls asked in unison, expectantly looking to the older one.

“But I think we should get a signed paper from Aja’s mother, otherwise we’ll be charged with minor molesting and kidnap accusations.” Sasha fell on a chair, barely breathing with laugh, and Aja looked viciously at Raja.

“At least I won’t need heart medication and medical authorizations to travel, at your old age, you need to get a full check up before considering leaving this state!” Sasha fell from her chair and her friends got her up, the three of them laughing really hard.

=====

A couple of weeks after that, the three girls arrived to a very luxurious resort, the three rooms one side to the other and communicated by a discreet door. Aja jumped on the bed face down, practically motorboating on the soft pillows. “This is life, I swear we’re on paradise bitches!” she yelled, while Sasha laughed and Raja rolled her eyes.

“Get your ass off the bed bitch, there’s a sunny day out there, and you’re wasting it!”, Raja said, mocking the younger girl, who jump out the bed sticking her tongue out.

Sasha threw a towel to her friend’s face and then turned to her own room “ten minutes and I’ll drag you to the beach however you are, ladies”, she said before closing the door behind her; Raja did the same with her door to Aja’s room and walked to the balcony to feel the breeze.

Raja had a weird feeling about the whole trip thing, something was unsettling her, but she didn’t know what it was, and it was worse when the words of her brother started sounding like a bee swarm on her head: ‘she will come Rajie, just give it a chance, have faith on you two finding each other’. Of course Sutan would be an optimist, he embraced the whole thing of his now husband’s face in his dreams from the very beginning, of course he was a believer, especially now that he was happily married to his soulmate. He hadn’t lost a whole life plan, he hadn’t lost a first love, and of course he never had that high pitched voice on his head every night, making him think he had lost his mind.

She lit a cigarette, her head starting to ache and suddenly lost all the vacation mood she forced into her head the days before the trip. “I’m not losing hope Sutan, I’ve just lost the will to find her”, she whispered before sighing deeply and going to change her clothes after finishing her smoke.

Truth to her word, Sasha went to get her friends to the beach and they all went down to enjoy the sunny place. Aja was at the shore flirting with some girl she met there and Sasha was about to open her book when she realized how quiet Raja has been. “A penny for your thoughts girl”, she said, while laying her hand on the older girl’s forearm. “Let me guess, you’re nagging again on the voice in your head, right?”  

Raja sighed once again, and took off her sunglasses to look at her friend. “Mostly at my brother’s words Sasha… I’m feeling kinda weird,” Sasha leant to hug Raja, understanding quite well how she felt, at last, how lost she was right after she heard Shea’s voice for the first time. “I think I’ll take a walk under the sun, the sea will wash this off my head”. Sasha nodded to Raja, and watched her friend going barefoot on the sand under her sunhat.

Aja saw Raja walking away on the shore and frowned a bit worried, but after six months of knowing her, she was sure that bothering her was the dumbest idea; by her side, a cute girl tugged her arm, taking her to her group of friends. Carmen, as she introduced herself, took Aja to a group of girls, who were dancing on the beach to the music of a portable buffer, “Gals! this is Aja. I’ve just met her on the shore”, the girls on the group greeted her with shining smiles and aired kisses. “These are Morgan, her girl -and our official DJ- Kylie, but we call her Sonique, Gabby, or as we call her Delta and that noisy bitch there is Manila.”

A couple of hours after that, Aja went back to Sasha, exactly at the same time Raja was coming back. “Just in time! I’m starving, let’s get some food”, Aja said, pulling Sasha from the chair she was laying over. “Well, while you’ve been awfully boring, I met some gals at the beach.”

“You’re not one wasting time, aren’t you?” Raja said, mocking her, getting an annoyed face as a response.

“Excuse if I want to live before finding my forever handcuff” Aja answered. “Also I got us a party tonight.” With a shit eating grin she continued “you don’t have to thank me ladies, you both know I’d do anything to get our grinch out of the cave.” Raja hissed as an answer and before she could refuse, Sasha interjected.

“That sounds great, we came here to have fun,and Aja since i am responsible for you and i don’t want Doña Rivera killing me, no sex for you “ Raja bursted laughing at Sasha’s words, while Aja pouted her lower lip in protest. “Tell us, what are we going to celebrate? I suppose you got all the details”, asked Sasha, still getting a vicious glare from the youngest girl.

“A double bachelorette, Morgan and Sonique are tying the knot in a couple of weeks, that’s why they are here” Aja answered, suddenly feeling less enthusiastic with the idea.

Raja put a reassuring hand on Aja’s shoulder “come on girl, a celibe trip won’t kill you”, she fake coughed holding her laugh “also, Sasha’s right, your mom would kill us if we don’t take proper care of you.”

Aja threw a raspberry to her friends “you know what? you play the worst set of best friends in world’s history.” Taking her beach bag from the empty chair besides Sasha, she looked one more time at them, outrage clear in her face. “And just for the record, that you came to paradise to play the faithful girlfriend, and Raja playing the old wise matron is not a reason for you to betray me… still, I we’re going to the party, and I’ll get laid if I want.”

The three of them walked to the restaurant listening to Aja’s rant and offering her to misbehave just a little if she promised to be careful and responsible.

====

Later that night, Aja was hurrying her friends “come on bitches, you can’t be serious on taking more than an hour to get ready! we’re gonna miss half the party because you’re slow.” Sasha soon joined Aja in the protests, while Raja was still deciding on which dress to wear.

“Raja, you look great with the white one, now hurry before Aja suffer an anxiety attack, come on.” The tall girl looked at them rising her hands in surrender, and taking her clutch signaling she was ready. The three of them walked out to the party at a club nearby the hotel.

At the door, Aja gave their names to the guard and he let them in, the place a swirl of psychedelic colors and trance music, the beat going deep into Raja’s core with the rhythm of her heartbeat. Unconsciously, Aja was moving to the music, stretching her neck looking for the group of girls she met at the beach, soon she found Carmen, who greeted her with a hug and air kisses to her friends. Aja introduced Sasha and Raja to the girls, all of them there, except Manila and Gabby, who went to the bar to get a round of shots for the group.

Sasha soon engaged in a conversation with the brides to be, talking about how they found each other and sharing ideas and plans. Aja dragged Raja to the dance floor before she started with her usual grumpiness. “Oh no miss thing, you’re not going to ruin the mood, you’re here to have fun and relax, and if it means that I have to drag you to dance the whole night, I will”, Aja said to Raja, who gently smiled to the girl in front of her. She knew Aja was doing her best to cheer her up, but she was still unsettled and somehow, expectant.

“Thanks baby, I mean it… it’s just, I’m not feeling like myself”, Raja admitted awkwardly, being vulnerable wasn’t her strongest suit. “I’ll give this a try, but I can’t promise to stay the whole night”. Being that more than she got from Raja in months, Aja nodded, secretly enjoying her little victory.

When they went back to the group, the night was at its highest point, all of them were toasting to Morgan and Kylie and their new life together. The music so loud making really hard to keep a conversation. Raja felt a hand in her shoulder, and she turned lightly her head to the side, barely listening to the girl who was inviting her to the dance floor, Raja nodded reluctantly and followed the girl with the stunning body wrapped in a yellow dress, that the black neon lights made so easy to follow, and the only thing she could see clearly in the dark, was the streak of bleach blonde hair moving in a sea of wavy black.

A girl that couldn’t be older than twenty, her lips painted in a black that shone under the neon lights. There was something about her that made Raja feel a little relaxed, letting herself flow with the moment. She half heard her name was Manila, and wasn’t sure if she was able to hear her telling her own name. Both of them were slightly drunk, and Manila turned to dance leaning her back on Raja’s chest.

Not really thinking about it, Raja laid temptatively her hands on the girl’s hips, and she started moving even more provocative. It wasn’t much more than the butterfly’s touch on her skin, but Raja felt electrified, something she had never felt, and that was the moment she decided to just feel her dance partner closeness, and the fainting scent of her citric perfume. Forgetting her longing she dared to turn the girl in her arms, and before she could really sink on what was happening, Manila kissed her; it was brief and sloppy but deeply intense. Tracing the line of her jaw, Raja talked to her ear, making sure she can listen to her “let’s get out of here.”

Raja took the lead, pulling her by the firm grip of their hands, they left the place only stopping for a second to get their clutches and going back to the hotel running under the night sky, barefoot on the sand. Manila laughed delighted, and Raja’s heart skipped a beat. That laugh was so familiar but seemed distant, she shook her head and kept running, making sure they reached the sun chairs around the pool. She let herself fall in one of those, pulling Manila to her lap, looking straight at her face. Manila laughed once more, this time nervously and then leaned to reach Raja’s lips.

They made out passionately  for what seemed an eternity, then gasping for air, Raja broke the kiss, caressing with her thumb Manila’s cheekbone. “It can’t be her”, she thought, even though her heart was madly speeding in her chest, “she should’ve recognized me by now… it’s not her.” A little part of Raja’s shaking faith was breaking, when the girl in her lap said. “Oh my god, I can’t see shit, but those idiots didn’t gave me time to put on my contacts.”

Raja froze, recognizing the voice of her dreams at all, and also realizing that she hasn’t been recognized because of a stupid technicality, meant she wasn’t able to properly see.  Manila pulled a pair of glasses out of her clutch, rising her head to finally look at Raja. “I hope you don’t mind my… OH MY GOD!”

Manila opened her eyes even wider, looking finally at every single detail of Raja’s features. “I… I can’t believe this, I’ve been flirting with my soulmate all night long and I didn’t figured out!”

“What?!” Raja said, still in disbelief, looking at Manila’s face, that was fastly going from amusement to hurt.

“I’ve been dreaming of your face for five years and that’s all you have to say?“ Raja’s mouth fell agape, that was exactly the same phrase she heard the first time. The girl looked at her, expecting for something to happen, strongly tempted to slap her face to make her talk, and cursing her eyes for the tears she felt coming.

“I… I um ahhh, I don’t know what to say, is just so unexpected”, the older girl said, feeling happy, mad and incredibly stupid at the same time. “You… can’t… oh my god, this was a huge mistake”

Manila covered her mouth, fighting tears already. She got off from Raja’s lap and starting to run by the edge of the pool, she needed to fly, she wouldn’t let her see crying, not when she clearly didn’t want her.

Confused, Raja looked at her, snapping back when she saw Manila almost sliding to the pool “Oh my god! you’re so easily distracted!”, she reaches for the beautiful girl in the yellow dress  just in time to fall with her into the water.

“Leave me alone!” Manila yelled, pushing Raja away.

Raja sighed, frustrated.“No… I’m not leaving you alone”, wrapping her easily with her long arms, she held her close. “It took nine years of my life getting to understand that I’ll find you, I just wasn’t expecting it was going to be here.”

“Then why the first coherent thing you blurt out after you find out i am your soulmate is to say this is a mistake?”, Manila clapped back, freeing her own frustration and obvious hurt.

“Because I’ve been with you for hours, and I found out that I really  like you, that I’m up to open up and there comes that you’re meant to be with me.” Raja’s voice half shy and half relieved. “Once you get your heart shattered by destiny, you never expect for it to actually mend its shit”.

Manila was about to retort when something sink in, “nine years?” Getting to know how much she have waited, left the girl speechless for a moment.

Raja nodded. “Nine fucking years where I’ve lost a boyfriend and I thought I was going nuts, because I didn’t find you.” She sighed deeply, finally saying those words out loud reducing her constant anger. “Nine fucking years to get to understand that I was denying myself.” Instinctively, Manila laid a hand on Raja’s chest, feeling her take a deep breathe. “And they were fucking worth it, because you are gorgeous and I’m happy to finally have you.”

The softness on Raja’s statement melted Manila’s heart, leaning the side her face to the other girl’s shoulder, whispering. “And I can’t believe that you actually exist, I can’t believe how good is having you here, all wet and mug smudged.” Raja held a laugh, that made Manila look back at her, lifting her face, the older one giving the other a soft peck on the lips.

“Now let’s get out of this pool cause I’m freezing”, Raja said, releasing her and swimming to the end of the pool, jumping out and taking her hand to pull her off the pool.

Manila wrapped herself around Raja, “so… are we taking this from where we left it?”

A wolfish smile spread across Raja’s lips, “I’ll do that but not here… what do you think of a nice warm bathtub, a bottle of red wine and no wet clothing?”

“Sounds like a plan to me”, Manila winked at Raja, and they went to get their abandoned heels and clutches.

“Then come with me” Raja said,  stretching her hand to her, and holding the heels with the other, steadying her for a second and then running wildly to reach the elevator and leaving a wet trail behind them.

====

After a semi awkward elevator ride, they made it to the room, Manila taking off her wet clothes while Raja prepared the bath. Raja stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a white towel and holding one for Manila. The tall girl felt her mouth dry at the sight of Manila’s body, shamelessly on display, the other girl oblivious to her observer behind her back.

“Tub’s ready”, Raja said, approaching to Manila, who turned to face her, to reach her and undoing the knot of Raja’s towel, making her suppress a moan.

“What was that Raja?” Manila looked at her face, desire shining brightly on her eyes, “do you really want me?”

“I want you so bad, is driving me mad”, Raja admitted, sliding a hand on the side of her naked body.

“Lucky that I want you too… come.” Manila said taking  Raja’s hand in hers, and getting rid of the towel in the process. “You’re overdressed for the occasion” she whispered, delighted on discovering Raja’s body for the first time…

Raja pulled  her to the bathroom, pushing the door with her foot and leading Manila to the tub, soft warm steam flooding the room, and taking a sweet moment to  actually look at her naked silhouette and biting her lower lip at the mere idea of being able to touch her. She was the first to get in the tub, followed almost immediately by Manila, who delicately made herself comfortable in the space between her legs.

Leaning her back over Raja’s chest, Manila was the first reaching for the other one’s lips, getting heated within seconds, when Raja broke the kiss gasping for air. “Easy baby, there’s no rush, we have all the time in the world”, the older girl whispered, making the other shiver with her breathe spreading on the wet skin of  her neck.

“Where does this romantic freak comes from?”, Manila asked, sliding  one of her hands over the brown skin of her arm. “I thought you wanted me”, she teased once more, reaching to catch Raja’s lips again.

Smiling  to her lips, Raja answered, “comes from nine years of craving to know how you looked, or if you existed… now I happen to want to discover every-single-inch-of-you.”

Manila kissed her again, briefly this time, turning on the water to kneel in front of her. “Then do yourself a party Columbus.”

Raja laughed softly to her silliness, taking her sweet little time to tame Manila’s hair with one hand, starting to kiss each  single part of her face, while feeling other pair of hands roaming through her legs and dangerously reaching to her thighs. “You’re decided to make me surrender, aren’t you little butterfly?” The girl gave her a mischievous smile while nodding, just to point her affirmation with a kiss. Raja sighed deeply, just to say in a low tone “then I’ll teach you to behave.”

Manila laughed, approaching a little more to Raja, feeling her whole body to shiver with the slight brushing of their breasts. “What if you better show me how nine years of craving feel like.”

Raja smiled crookedly, pulling Manilla closer to her body. “Only good girls get what they want… and right now, I’m the nicest girl in the world”, she whispered, sliding one hand across the other girl’s back, caressing firmly the curve of her lower back and then  squeezing her butt cheek, delighted on the softness of Manila’s strangled moans.

“Nine years of craving felt like being incomplete” she whispered to her ear, nipping her earlobe. “Feels like you can’t breathe, forcefully gathering air into your lungs”, she continues, making some distance between their bodies, using one of her hands to tease one of Manila’s nipples. “Feels like food is flavorless, and your favorite jammies don’t warm you anymore at night”,  she approached her lips, biting lightly on Manila’s lower lip, while leaning her forehead to join her soulmate’s, barely touching the tip of their noses. “Nine years of craving felt like long days, endless nights and a cold that wraps you from inside out.”

Lost in the moment, Manila abandoned herself to her lover’s touch, while Raja’s voice was low, and seductive; distracting enough to make her lose track of time. “But ain’t gonna lie, it feels so fucking good at the end, cause i get to do this.” In one steady move, she quickly shoved two fingers inside Manila, the girl whimpering at the sudden stimulation.

“I… I’ll make it…” a moan dying strangled in Manila’s throat made Raja smile. “I’ll make it out for the lost time”, she managed to say, while feeling the slender fingers moving inside out of  her. “I’ll give you back the colors and flavors… and the warmth”, Manila kisses Raja hungrily, barely managing to slide her own hands to cup her soulmate’s breasts.

“Yeah.” Raja said in whisper taking her fingers out of Manila, the girl grunting for the sudden loss; wasting no time she stood up out of the bathtub taking Manila out with her. “Let’s take this to the bed, so i can really show you baby.”

Raja didn’t know what had gotten into her, but this girl, her soulmate had an effect on her that she couldn’t describe even with a dictionary in hand. She wanted to be so gentle with her, most of all, she wanted to take her time to discover her, in the other hand, she was starving with need to touch her, she wanted… no, she needed to claim her. The flood of emotions taking the best of her, making her smart mouth to run out of words for the first time in her life, letting her go on the new overwhelming sensations.

Manila snapped her back by sliding slowly her foot on the bare skin of Raja’s hip, a  precise movement that left her vibrating. “You like what you see?”, she asked, wrapping her leg around the other girl and making her fall over.

“More than you can imagine”, Raja whispered against her throat, just to kiss her fiercely one more time. Then she draw a line of sloppy kisses along her jawline and going down to her breasts, torso and finally getting to taste her.

====

They fell beside each other on the mattress for the third time that night, Raja barely breathing and unable to open her eyes after the most incredible orgasm. Manila turned to lean on her lover’s chest, who instinctively reached to caress her hair softly. “And this is how five years of longing and hoping feels like.”

“Five years?” Raja asked, suddenly opening her eyes to look at her, who pushed herself up in a hand to look her in the eyes.

“I was fifteen and wondering who I was, the first time I dreamt of you”, her voice sounded distant and kind of dreamy. “Imagine how it was, I fell asleep in my mom’s car a couple of hours before my birthday party”, Manila smiled, thinking of herself as the teenager she was back then, and enjoying the perks of being the woman she grew up to be. “It’ll be just a nap, I thought… and then, there were you, your skin tanned to perfection and the beautiful long black hair.”

Raja started drawing spyrals with her thumb on her lower back, making her giggle, and look at her with her eyes still full of amusement. “I guess I knew I loved you ever since, because your face had always filled me with joy… the only thing I couldn’t understand, was why you always seemed so sad.” Manila kissed her stomach. “Now I think I understand why, and I promise you to do my best to never see you like that again.”

====

Raja woke to the sight of a sleeping Manila, who was relaxed and all spreaded over the mattress, legs tangled and half wrapped in bed sheets. The soft lines of her face making her look younger than she was, and making Raja wonder how would they look together in a week, a month, a decade… and she decided she was up to find it out. She was about to caress the cheekbone of the gorgeous girl in her arms, when the door linked to Aja’s room burst open with a slam.

“Good Morning Butter…” Raja jump out the bed reaching with her long arms for Aja’s mouth to make her shut up, desisting of her intentions when her friend licked her hand.  “My Oh My! look who finally got laid!”

“Praise Allah! you’re disgusting” Raja hissed to the girl in front of her. “Could you please shut up bitch? you’ll wake the whole floor.” Taller than the other, she blocked her sight and Aja was stretching her neck trying to see the girl on the bed.

Standing on her toes, she was still trying to watch over her friend’s shoulder. “Who is she? I deserve to know bitch, I got the party last night!”

“For the last time, shut up! you’ll wake her up!” Raja hissed and Aja stood in front of her crossing her arms, arching a brow, quietly questioning. Raising her hands in surrender, she said. “It’s Manila…”

“Her soulmate”, a groggy voice completed from the bed, where modestly Manila was holding the bed sheet over her breasts.

“NO FUCKING WAY! YOU FOUND YOUR FUCKING SOULMATE AND DIDN’T EVEN SEND A MESSAGE?!” Aja yelled, not really thinking on what she was saying, but making Sasha open the door of the other side.

“Alright… you two are gonna stop yelling… and you” Sasha pointed to Aja, “you’re gonna leave them alone, this is nothing of your business… at least for now.”  Sasha dragged Aja out of Raja’s room, making sure to close both doors before they were surrounded by silence once again.

Realizing her own nakedness, Raja got blushed and Manila giggled at her reaction. “I have never imagined you were such a prude.” She closed the space between them, letting the sheet fall to the floor and sliding her arms around Raja’s waist. “You’re perfect baby, never feel ashamed of your body in front of me… I cherish you.” She kissed her collarbone and Raja put her arms over her lover’s shoulders.

“I could get used to wake to your face every morning… it’s the best sight ever.” She whispered, leaning to join her by the forehead. “I love you Nila… “

A soft smile spreaded over Manila’s lips while she said “I love you too Rajie”, just to kiss her one more time of the many that will follow onwards.

[cindy-cao]

That weird situation

I don't know if this is paranoia or serious suspicions.

My brother in law is a doctor but he has done a few weird things since the start of the outbreak. My family was reconsidering a family gathering due to Covid19 just before the lockdown was announced and finally decided to cancel it. My brother in law sent then an email to everyone saying that risks were "none." There were other medical inconsistencies. A second thing is about bringing groceries to my father who has a cancer and diabete and is 70. He would talk to him 3 meters apart. He basically put my family at risk.

About a year ago, my father was sick and he went to his hospital. He behaved like a hero saving my Dad and said my Dad didn't have a cancer. My Dad thought a second medical advice would be good but my brother in law was opposed to it. My father still went to a private hospital where he was diagnosed with a cancer. That created family issues that finally ended well. During this time, I was abroad and my sister decided to stop talking to me because she didn't like my boyfriend. I came back to my home country. My sister was really awful, as my mother but my mother is like this, and I thought they were pushing me to suicide but then gave up on that idea, thinking it was too irrational. However, I realised something important, my chronic depressions have been caused by my family environment.

At Christmas, the brother of my brother in law talked to me. He said he's convinced his wife died because of his brother. She was sick, she was in that hospital where my brother in law works, knew something about my brother in law, wasn't quiet, always opened her mouth. She died. Then, the brother got a job at that hospital because my brother in law for the first time of his life helped him. Still, they hate each other.

Then, there was the Christmas with my Dad's family. I confronted my brother in law. I just told him "I talked to your brother yesterday." That night, both my sister and brother in law started a campaign to criticise me but it didn't work well. My cousins were still nice with me. One of my cousin said "I think they talk on your back on the other side of the table" and I said that I didn't care. As I tried to reconcile with my sister for the sake of my father's well being, she managed to turn him against me and I decided to leave the country while maintaining a good contact with my Dad.

Since my Dad has a cancer, my sister and me we don't talk to each other. I got upset my brother in law who is supposed to be a doctor talked to my Dad directly with 3 meters distance without explaining to my Dad it was safer to not talk directly at all, only on the phone. I tried to explain it to my Dad who couldn't understand it and couldn't imagine my brother in law could put him at risk, saying there was no risk. I got upset and wrote it on Facebook, so hopefully my cousins would notice without me calling them directly, and could explain things to my father. My sister made my father read it (my Dad is not on Facebook) and the last words I got from my Dad was that I was a destructive person, he couldn't believe he'd ever have a daughter like this, he'd suffer until his last breath. My mother sent me an email to tell me my Dad loved my brother in law like a son.

I remember one day, my cousin asked how I'd feel if my Dad wouldn't be equal in terms of heritage. I explained what I knew: my Dad gave me a large sum of money to buy an apartment and there won't be anything else. If it's not right, I said my sister and brother in law can take it all. I don't care. I also said I don't think my Dad is like this and I could be hurt by this, not the amount of money, but the idea. Now, with his last words to me, I'd be sad if he'd ever die with so little love for me, while I tried hard to save his life but at least, I know I acted according to my conscience.

If I get back to my home country, my brother in law and sister would put me at risk. I have zero doubt about it. When I sent an email to ask her to explain to Dad it was safer not to talk directly to my brother in law she replied if I was so worried fir my Dad's life, I could take a flight and get groceries for him - knowing that I live an hour tube from my Dad and I don't have the strength to carry many stuff when they have a car and would just need to leave groceries on the doorstep. She'd push me to suicide. Last time I had this feeling, I thought changing my will would keep me safer but I finally didn't do it. I think I will.

Anyway, I've always known I'm safer far from them. If all they want is my Dad's money when he dies, it will be their karma but if I suspect anything of them putting my Dad at risk, I swear there will be justice.

Another thing to note. They also lead a campaign of criticism at my stepmother, I don't. My Dad asked me if it would be an issue if she gets a part of his money, I said of course not. He said he changed his will so she gets nothing. I said I'd respect his will but it's not my request. He said my sister agrees with him. He said he'd want to divorce although he's 70 and very sick and we're in a middle of a pandemic.

I think I did what I could to save my Dad. I think I was loyal to my conscience. I think if she gets the heritage, I really don't care. I think if he dies because of them, I'll sue them until my last breath.

There is evidence of the email he sent to my family, that he directly talked to my father during the pandemic, his brother's testimony, my father's last words to me (he doesn't reply to me anymore) and the reasons. There's probably evidence of my Dad changing hospital. I think the heritage would be their motive. I have a friend who works in a place that could be useful to find out things. If they hurt Dad, I swear there will be justice. If it's just about money, they can take it all, I don't care.

Another weird thing about him: he loves guns. More than a normal person. I hate guns. Well, not all people who love guns are murderers but it's a weird thing and in my country, guns are forbidden. I don't think he has real guns, but he has toy guns for sure that look super real and use to do that type of game in the woods every week. My uncle has a permit and is totally sane but I remember at some point my brother in law bought a real one but I don't know if he took it with him in his house. My mother opposed it saying there could be an accident, with the children when they become teenagers but she was criticised for daring to think her grand children could ever kill anyone. She told me and obviously I was so outraged that they stopped talking to me about it so I don't know what's the situation but that brother in law... Seriously, I'm glad to be abroad.

***

I've always had a very good relationship with my sister all my life and everything literally changed from the exact moment my father got sick. She never explained to me the issue of my Dad changing hospital, my Dad did. My mother explained my brother in law said he had no cancer but according to her, it was not his fault. For me, it is his fault because you don't say to someone he doesn't have a cancer as long as tests are not done and you don't oppose seeking for a second medical advice, it makes no sense. I never said that to anyone but I was already upset. I got literally paranoid when I was in my home country. I had the feeling she tried to kill me and kept all the evidence: the nastiest words ever when I said I felt depressed. As crazy as it sounds, it was what healed me. I talked to a psychologist that helped me to understand that it was unlikely my sister was a murderer, but that she clearly did not want me any good and I had to see this. The suicide prevention centre advised me to cut contact and move away as soon as possible. There was my mother issue as well, they're shockingly mean to me in my family and unfortunately, I grew up confusing love and suffering. Since then, since I understood this, I feel completely healed - able to move away from people who don't make me happy or don't treat me well - and resilient. My sister sent me another hate email and weirdly, I felt no pain. My Dad sees me as a source of suffering because I insisted for him to understand talking to anyone 3 meters away entails more risks than not talking to him. I feel resilient to face another injustice and also, it was predictable because I have these doubts in my mind for a while : my father's heritage - I'm a beneficiary and if she kills me, her and her children will be the beneficiaries. I remember when she was mean, I told her I'd change my will and she complained to my parents so I wouldn't do it. She could have said: "do as you wish, I have no interest in this" but she did not. She won't be able to kill me if I'm abroad and vigilant and there is the rest of the family to tell my Dad the right health advice. If she just manages to take the heritage, I don't care, I'm just glad, I'm not like her and will never be. If I have any new suspicion her or her husband could hurt Dad, I'll contact a friend to see if there's a way to put them under surveillance (or at least inform the police without putting anyone, including me, at a risk of retaliation) and I'll contact my friend who's a lawyer too to determine with the evidence I have, if it's enough to consider suing them. I trust the intelligence of those friends, and I know, if they think I'm insane, they'll tell me.

[rebelthroughreading-blog]

Whale Talk by Chris Crutcher

TJ is drafted for the new swim team with no other members. Can he recruit enough people while also facing the difficulties of being mixed race?

Quick Information

price: $4.99

number of pages: 304

ISBN:  978-0061771316

publisher and date: Greenwillow Books 2001

author’s website: http://www.chriscrutcher.com/

genre: juvenile fiction

main subjects: racism, bullying, teamwork, friendship, sports

Plot

The Tao “TJ” Jones is an adopted, mixed race, ill-tempered high school student who comes from a difficult background. He is smart and pretty good friends with a teacher who, in an attempt at getting out of being the assistant coach of wrestling, creates the school’s first swim team. The teacher enlists only TJ, once on a swim team but now out of practice. After witnessing a special needs boy being bullied by a sports star, TJ is determined to not only recruit enough members to make a real team, but also to get them into shape and ready for the competitions and able to all obtain letter jackets. At the same time, TJ has to deal with the issues of racism both in the school and in the town.

Who’s reading it? 

Though written on a 6th grade reading level, the story appeals to grades 9-12, especially with the rough content.

Why did I read it?

Robert Cormier is one of the greatest authors to have lived – both because of his writing and because of his personality. With someone so passionate about what he writes and his readers, I continue to want to read more from that person if I had a choice. Thus, Whale Talk already was appealing. Knowing little of the book before reading it, I thought about the plot I read online, and thought that it sounded interesting and different, and how right I was. If a book sounds interesting, then pick it up and read it. If it fails to capture your attention quickly, then put it down. Whale Talk began with an explanation as to who TJ is and what he would do. He calls a radio station and questions their morals and motivations. After reading that, I wondered if this teenage boy is willing to do that for what he believes, what else is he willing to do? That kept me going throughout the entirety of the book.

Evaluation

Cormier writes a true-to-life story about a boy dealing with a multitude of issues that are difficult to handle. Crafting a story of racism, bullying, misunderstanding, comradery, and compassion, the author brings a world almost too similar to the real one that discusses the problems teens may be having as well.

TJ Jones’ real name is The Tao Jones, a bit of a strange name for anyone. His birth mother was a white woman who conceived her child with a half-black, half-Japanese man. She named her child after the title of The Tao while in an unruly state. After she was unable to care for him, he was adopted by his true parents, both of whom work tirelessly to create better worlds for children. With his complicated history, TJ finds himself in situations where he becomes extremely angry or overwhelmed with emotion. Through the help of a child therapist and many loving people in his lives, he has found a way to keep himself mostly in check and, on average, a decent human being. However, when life throws hard balls at him, he cannot help but react with as much force as possible.

Many men bully him for being mixed race, specifically part black. His skin is tainted so to say, and as much as he embraces himself as a mixed pot of cultures, people – both in high school and adults – try to get to him. The same men also bully other people for being in some way inferior to themselves. One teenager bullies a white boy who has special needs. One adult abuses his adopted daughter, because she is the creation of a black father. In a beautifully heart wrenching conflict that can only be described as the attempt to achieve the emotional purity of whales.

Throughout the book, the characters often consider the way that whales communicate; they have no restraint and speak with all their emotion that can be heard for miles and miles. TJ’s father specifically wants to achieve this goal, and therefore, TJ also feels a calling to do so as well. In a way, Cormier writes this book as a representation of whale talk in human talk. He pours out all the emotion of a teenager who has to come to terms with his identity and wants desperately to help others be happy. Readers feel the joy and pain of TJ as he makes his way through the journey of his senior year of high school, a ride he will never forget.

The issues

bullying

offensive language

abuse

racism

uncontrollable behavior and anger

These are some of the major issues that people may have with this book. Teenagers are reading about bullying, abuse, racism, acts out of desperation and extreme emotion, and to top it off, explicit and inappropriate language riddles the pages. The check list is full of all the terrible things.

Everyone is bullied and/or abused in this book. The main character, all of his friends, his teacher, his parents, a little girl, an adult woman. The list goes on. TJ is of mixed race and therefore of tainted skin. He is adopted, and his birth mother is not a mystery to other students. A young girl, mixed race as well, is both physically and mentally abused by her adopted father. Her mother takes her to therapy where she meets TJ, and once the mother and children move in with TJ and his family to get away from the abusive husband, the man bullies both TJ and his entire family, threatening them in hopes that they will give up his wife and children. When he is no longer supposed to contact the wife, he tries to call and visit the house anyway, effectively abusing them through fear. Many of TJ’s friends from school who are also on the swim team are bullied by others. Chris, a Freshman who is cognitively slow and suffers from the death of his older brother who he adored, is bullied by Mike, an older and meaner athlete favored by all teachers. He refuses to let Chris wear his brother’s old letter jacket with supposed school spirit in mind but for meanness in reality. Andy Mott, a one-legged and rude boy no one seems to mess with anymore, was abused by his mother’s boyfriend thus leading to his leg getting gangrene and having to be completely removed and then later raped by a different of his mother’s boyfriends.

Throughout all these difficult situations, TJ does not handle himself well. He gives in to blind rage, going after a boy who hurt his girlfriend when she denied him. He thinks of saying and doing violent things to other people, including adults despite his only being seventeen. As a young child, he screamed and kicked and was uncontrollably vicious, only some of which we learn has passed. No matter all the therapy he has had, TJ still gives in to his extreme emotions that guide most of his actions. He plots against the athletic board at school, loses a competition to spite them, and recruits only misfits to make a point. TJ is not the most likeable guy.

So why should we read it?

Bullying is bad. Abuse is bad. Racism is bad. Uncontrollable anger is bad. Inappropriate language is bad. But they are all real. Bullying is happening everywhere. Abuse is happening everywhere. All of these things are happening, and they are bad. That is why authors write about these controversial topics. Do we condone TJ’s uncontrollable behavior? Absolutely not. We do not want him to be the guy that lets his rage control his actions and end up killing someone when he could have done so many other things to help his friend. In the same way that we do not accept this as appropriate, neither do the police or TJ’s parents. The police make him drive back home, and his mother puts him on house arrest until his anger subsides and he can think clearly again. Of course, he still wants to make the boy pay who hurt his friend, because that behavior is wildly unacceptable, but he, through the help of others’ judgements, controls himself. Everyone needs to see that you can have these irrational feelings that overwhelm the body, but there are always other options, and other people can always help. It is okay to feel angry or sad or bewildered or confused. Emotions are a natural part of human nature, and to ignore them is to ignore the person.

Human nature is just that – natural. TJ acts naturally throughout the book. He is bullied and becomes defensive of himself and his heritage. He sees others bullied and decides to retaliate. He fights back when there is a conflict. He is strong-headed and strong-willed, and that is okay, because it is natural. Going back to what I said earlier, natural is okay as long as we can see the reason, and sometimes that is hard when someone is by themselves. Anyone, especially teenagers can feel just like TJ and need the same kind of help. That is okay. That is more than okay. That is great. If they can understand themselves, then they can understand others, and that will help everyone.

How can we use it?

Why should we even care? Because it is real. We all talk like whales, especially when driven by hormones and weird body chemistry that never settles until we are much older. We cry with our whole bodies, because we do not know any other way, and we need to know that we can still make it. So many bad things are happening in this book that TJ has been forced to deal with, even if by his own doing, and he has to learn how to not only talk like a whale but also like a human too, just like us.

There is no better way to learn about ourselves than to look at someone else making all of the mistakes for us. Humans learn through others. We imitate our parents. We learn to talk by listening and repeating. We learn to walk by watching and recreating. We learn to do math by doing exactly what someone else tells us to do. We learn everything through imitation before we learn enough to learn through our own extrapolation. As we develop, we are impressionable. We hunger for knowledge and accept it anywhere that we can. Through reading, we see other situations that may not happen in our own lives, and therefore can learn more than we do with what is immediately given to us. As our brains become more powerful, we can take that information that we have copied and replicated and apply it to other things. If we read about this bullying situation, maybe we can see bullying somewhere else. If we read about this uncontrollable emotion, maybe we can see it within ourselves and figure out how to control it. Maybe we can learn to ask for help.

Every book can give us something that we can appreciate and use to better ourselves and those around us. We just have to read it.

 Booktalk Ideas

TJ comes from a difficult background and a complicated childhood full of therapy visits and violent outbursts. Why do readers still route for him to “win” by the end when he too can act inappropriately and be so unlikeable at times? 

Chris has some cognitive disabilities and does not seem to understand how to function without the help of his friends. Was TJ right in meddling in his affairs and making him join the swim team against his first judgements of the offer? Even if TJ did something that turned out well for both of them, was it fair to Chris for TJ to take that much control over someone else’s life, especially someone with the problems that Chris has?

What else can I read?

Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers

Fat Kid Rules the World by K. L. Going

Mexican White Boy by Matt de la Pena

Awards and Lists

2005 ALA Popular Paperbacks for YA

2002 ABC Children's Booksellers Choices Award

2002 Washington State Book Award

2002 Pacific Northwest Booksellers Award

2002 Outstanding Sports Book Award/YA 

ALA Best Book for YA

TLA Tayshas List

New York Public Library Books for the Teen Age

ALA Top 10 Best Books for YA

Book Sense 76 Pick

Professional Reviews

Claudia Moore (2002), School Library Journal - https://search-proquest-com.libaccess.sjlibrary.org/docview/2001784808?accountid=10361&rfr_id=info%3Axri%2Fsid%3Aprimo

Paula Rohrlick (2003), Literature Resource Center - http://go.galegroup.com.libaccess.sjlibrary.org/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA111305144&v=2.1&u=csusj&it=r&p=LitRC&sw=w

[pastorhogg]

A Top Reason for Church Shootings: Domestic Abuse

There were actually two attacks on Sunday, showing how violence at home often enters God’s house.

Officials have concluded that the gunman who shot up a small Baptist church outside San Antonio on Sunday was not religiously motivated.

It may come as a surprise to know that very few attacks on houses of worship are.

Instead, the details around Devin Kelley’s abusive past and ongoing feud with his in-laws point to a possible domestic incident causing him to target First Baptist Church of Sutherland Springs. Local law enforcement indicated Kelley’s second wife had occasionally attended the church with her family, and that the two had separated.

“The suspect’s mother-in-law attended this church,” Texas Department of Public Safety spokesperson Freeman Martin said, according to The New York Times. “We know that he had made threatening texts and we can’t go into detail into that domestic situation that is continuing to be vetted and thoroughly investigated.”

Though the scale of Kelley’s carnage is unprecedented, his motive is all too familiar. Domestic violence rarely stays confined to the home and has increasingly led to violence on church property. Estranged husbands make their way into church parking lots and lobbies to settle fights, take revenge, or confront their victims.

A second church shooting took place on Sunday, this one in Fresno, California, where a man shot his wife and her new boyfriend in the parking lot of a Catholic church, following early morning mass.

“Year after year, domestic abuse spillover—when a fight at home comes to church—is one of the three most common killers at faith-based organizations,” wrote church safety expert Carl Chinn for fellow CT publication Church Law & Tax.

Last year, among violent attacks at houses of worship where the cause was known, 25 percent of victims were killed as a result of a domestic abuse incident, all by male attackers, according to Chinn’s data. The next most common motive was personal conflict, followed by robbery.

While in the Air Force five years ago, Kelley had been convicted of assaulting his first wife and breaking her infant son’s skull, The Times reported.

The charges resulted in 12 months of confinement, followed by a dishonorable discharge from the service in 2014. His crimes should have prevented him from obtaining a firearm; a federal law bars anyone convicted a domestic violence misdemeanor from owning a gun.

Not all incidents of domestic violence lead to criminal charges, though; victims often keep silent out of fear of retaliation or justify their abuser’s behavior in hopes that will change. The secret and shame around abuse can lead onlookers—including church leaders—to underestimate its presence in their communities. Experts recommend pastors look out for signs of domestic violence and familiarize themselves with reporting laws in their states.

A 2017 Church Law & Tax report entitled “Why Domestic Violence in the Home Endangers Your Church” laid out the following statistics:

About three-quarters of pastors (74%) estimate that less than 20 percent of their congregation has experienced domestic violence, according to a 2014 LifeWay Research survey for Sojourners and IMA World Health.

National prevalence rates show that one in three women (33%) and one in four men (25%) have been victims of intimate partner violence.

Forty-five percent of Protestant pastors said their church does not have a plan in place to respond if someone says they are a victim of domestic violence, according to a 2017 LifeWay survey.

Overall, 1 in 5 incidents of violent crime in the US between 2003 and 2012 resulted from domestic violence, most commonly between spouses, exes, and partners.

Bart Barber, who pastors a small Southern Baptist congregation in northeast Texas, remarked that small churches in small towns inevitably get tangled in these incidents, though pastors may have fewer resources or staff to help mitigate the onslaught of family tension.

“In a smaller church, the boundaries between family and church are thin and blurry, so family problems spill over,” he wrote for CT. “Working on the front lines of these sensitive issues, churches can become targets when things go wrong.”

But domestic violence spans demographics. Last summer, a man committed a murder-suicide, killing his wife and himself after a church service in Chicago, and another estranged husband shot his wife while she attended a funeral at a church in Mississippi.

Domestic violence is a significant factor in mass shootings overall. A Washington Post op-ed pointed out:

According to Everytown for Gun Safety, 54 percent of mass shootings involve a partner or another family member being killed.

Male violence is an acute threat to American women: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that homicide is the fifth leading cause of death for women from 18 to 44, and more than half of these killings were carried out by men they knew — husbands, boyfriends, exes, or other intimate partners….

How many Americans must be felled by bullets have to happen before we understand that the safety of women and children at home is not just a private matter but also essential to public safety?

Everytown found an even stronger link between domestic violence and mass shootings for incidents with 10 or fewer fatalities (mass shootings are often defined as killing at least four).

Additionally, the group reported that nearly a quarter of victims of mass shootings are children. In Sutherland Springs, reports show that between 12 and 14 of the 26 people killed—about half—were kids. Kelley killed a child as young as 18 months old, as well as a woman who was eight months pregnant and her unborn baby.

Domestic violence raises serious concerns in the church—both as a sin and a security risk. The vast majority of pastors, 87 percent, believe their church would be a safe haven for domestic violence victims, according to this year’s LifeWay survey on the topic. Yet Christians may experience some barriers to addressing abuse in their midst.

According to Lindsey and Justin Holcomb, authors of Is It My Fault? Hope and Healing for Those Suffering Domestic Violence, women who are particularly religious are often less likely to see the violence against them as wrong. They may “try to understand their suffering by believing it is ‘God’s will’ or ‘part of God’s plan for my life.’”

Pastors play a crucial role in stopping the cycle of violence and holding abusive men accountable for their actions, according to research presented before the Association for the Sociology of Religion in 2010 and reported by the Association of Religion Data Archives.

Faith-based intervention can be an effective method to stop violent behavior and “can discredit dangerous theological ideas that abused women must be submissive and provide resources to allow the men to envision a different future,” according to University of New Brunswick sociologists who studied 1,200 men in treatment for abuse. Men who received support from their pastor were more likely to complete the program.

CT previously covered why Christian women should contact police before their pastors after incidents of domestic violence, the shame of silence around spousal abuse in the church, and the stories of Christian survivors.

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