#and he hasn't paid me it all back yet and I have like 20 dollars

[trans-yllz]

she's all tucked in w me

[neo-culture-mafia]

Crush Culture (K.DY)

You were single...that was it.

The sight of seeing other couples made you want to punch them. You were 20 and still have never had your first kiss. You were okay with that too. You were afriad of becoming apart of that gross couple no one could stand.

Yet, it was annoying when everyone had a significant other besides you...even the Junior Forces had someone. You were forever alone.

Your attitude was always the reason someone couldn't hold onto you. You were a hand full and that was an understatement half of the time. You were a bratty girl that wanted love -- but no one wanted you.

You sat at your circle table during the Valentine Day Holiday Party that Taeyong threw everywhere...well...his girlfriend threw. She throws it every year to have an excuse to dress up in a tight red dress and talk with the rest of the girlfriends that were also associated with the Mafia. You were always seen as 'one of the guys' compared to the other girls. You were the only female genuinely recruited and not just fucking their way in. Whenever the girls would go shopping, one of the boys would try to convince their girlfriends to take you along -- trying to get you to make friends.

You've tried making friends with them but they're just too snobby and judgemental. Then at the end of the day, you're back at the boys' lounge sitting in the corner with a lonely bottle of Soju.

You hit the volume button on your phone again as you're met with the time: 11:32 and a new notification. You quickly unlocked your phone and checked it. 'Timer: Your timer for 5 minutes has run out.'

You groaned and locked your phone. You put it on the table with annoyance and just looked into the dancing crowd. You play with your sleeve as you grimaced at it's color. It was red. You hated red. But to make the boss' wife happy; you followed the dress code knowing you found a loophole and how it would piss her off.

It reminded you of anger...and how you didn't want to be here while the color is plastered over every square inch of this damn room.

"Yah." You looked up to see your hero of the night: Doyoung.

"What do you want old man?" You rolled your eyes and he scoffed. "Fine sit alone then." He said and you snapped towards him. "I was joking." You quickly blurt out and he chuckled as he turned back and sat in the chair next to you. The red silk table cloth moving as his legs brush against it.

"Why aren't you dancing?" He asked and you shrugged. "Why aren't you?" You asked but you already knew the answer.

Like you, he was a handful to have as a partner. He hasn't secured a woman yet which was looked down upon by some. Most didn't care, like the boys...but the girls wanted someone new every once and awhile to brainwash and make their own.

Doyoung was adorned in a leather jacket and dark jeans. He found a loophole in the dress code too; his dark t-shirt having a red logo on it. It pissed Tae's girl off but he couldn't stand her either.

"Just don't want to. Not my thing ya know." He shrugged and downed all of his red wine. "God this is terrible." He groaned as he looked at the empty glass. You chuckled at his face as he set it down with a clunk of the cold glass.

You both sat there in comfortable silence and just chilled with each other. "Hey losers. Why aren't you dancing?" Kun came over as his wife scurried off to the hoard of girls in the middle of the dance floor.

"Aside from the fact I don't want to be here in the first place...? I just don't want to." You said and he chuckled. "Here's a wacky idea. Both of you dance with each other." He said taking your glass of wine away from you. You whined and held your hand out for it back.

Kun grabbed your hand and placed it on Doyoung's. "You won't get paid if you say no." Kun said and Doyoung just groaned.

"Paid?" You questioned. "The guys are paying me 20 dollars just to show up." Doyoung said and Kun nodded at the statement.

"What?!" You shrieked. "Yeah I know it ridiculous righ-" "I wanna be paid too!" You cut off Kun as Doyoung laughed. Kun gave up on you two and walked away. "I'm surrounded by children." He shook his head.

"We're the same age dumbass." Doyoung called back and Kun just held up his special finger as a response. You chuckled at the response. You felt pressure on your hand as you saw Doyoung's hand wrap around yours.

"We're here...why not make it special?" He asked and stood up. You shook your head no as you tried retracting your hand. "I don't dance." You shook your head again.

"And you think I do?" He cocked an eyebrow. You looked at him and just sighed. "Fine." You said as you let him pull you out of your seat. He guided you amongst the bodies of slow dancing and couples kissing.

He brought you to the middle of the floor above the huge dangling heart that was set to burst with confetti at midnight. He turned you around and put his hands on your waist hesitantly. He was a good height taller so your forehead just met his lips. So in order to maintain eye contact you had to look up at him.

You were lost for a moment until you put your arms gently on his shoulder. Some random slow love song played through the huge speakers. You both talked about some upcoming missions before you were interrupted. "Yeah I get it. What we do for work is very interesting -- yet I don't want to overhear how you decapitated a guy while I'm kissing my girlfriend at a Valentine's day dance." Jaehyun butted in with swollen lips and a trail of red pigment from his jaw to his collar.

You laughed at his physical state, your head burying into Doyoung's chest out of instinct to hide your face. His hand subconsciously went up your back a little.

"Dude. Go get a room if you're that desperate." Doyoung chuckled. "Why don't you go-" you cut off the younger before he said something he would regret.

"Alright enough. We'll shut up about work." You said and Jaehyun rolled his eyes. "Thank you." He said and walked the couple steps back over to his girlfriend.

You looked up again to already be met with his longing gaze. His eyes getting bigger then readjusting to your bright eyes he was waiting to see...yet he would never tell you that.

"So...how was your day?" You asked trying to appeal to Jaehyun's wishes on choice of conversation. "It was good. Yours?" He asked you; as he genuinely wanted to know the answer.

"It was...boring." You chuckled at the thought of you staying in bed all day until being reminded of the dance.

"Oh well I hope it looks up soon." Doyoung said and twirled you. You giggled at the unexpected dance move. "Where'd you learn to do that?" You asked once his hands were back on your back and holding you close. "Takes two to tango honey." He winked and you felt the heat rush to your cheeks.

"Guess you're right." You nodded and played with a few hairs on the nape of his neck.

"Yeah?" He asked and you nodded shortly again. You two were getting closer. You hadn't noticed how his big eyes were and how they twinkled even in the dimmest of lights, or how natural his hands felt on your back -- bringing you two closer as your bodies pushed against another's.

"Yeah." You breathed. He was so close and you didn't know you had wanted this so much until it was right here infront of you. "Yeah." He whispered and brought you closer up to his face. Your lips were grazing each others. It was like sparks of electricity.

Claps became apparent as you both realised what was happening. You both pushed each other away and just straightened your clothes out as the confetti fell in huge clumps around everyone's feet. Some kissed their partner as they continued dancing to the music. You ran a hand through your hair as did Doyoung. Both of you clearing of your throats and looking around to make sure no one else saw what was about to happen. Yet they did and the group of people in the corner of the room groaned as half of them lost money on the fact you two didn't kiss.

"Well...see you tomorrow." You both turned to each other at the same time. "Yeah totally." You both continued to copy each other. "Goodbye." You waved and bowed slightly as you walked past him and out the doors to get to your car.

You walked to the curb where rain still drizzled lightly. You noticed you had a bounce in your step as you walked with purpose. The heat in your chest and cheeks hadn't stopped as you got in your car.

..

You drove down the highway back to your apartment as you blasted the most cheesiest love songs you could think of.

You arrived at your home and ran up the stairs to your bedroom. You turned on all your lights and your music. You hopped and danced on your bed for the rest of the night...Doyoung doing the same at his own home.

You were on cloud 9 and nothing even happened. Even though you were happy you didn't know that Doyoung was happier. He had been waiting MONTHS to make a move. He's just so happy he didn't have to force it.

Maybe the crush culture was disgusting and overrated. Maybe it did make you want to become violent and light every heart shaped thing on fire. Yet, with you finding your own interest...you were wanting to become apart of the same group you despised.

------------

This was for Doyoung and his birthday💗💗

It wasn't my best work but I felt bad about not posting on his birthday. I needed more time to finish it and finally finished today.

With Love,

~J

[louisstudioiiiworkbook2]

First Interview With Matthew Hudson

Install hard not to laugh so I'm here with Hudson 16 more commonly known his nephew Hudson on top of Auckland's Mount Eden because you know brings back some good memories of spending time together and you know it's quite enjoyable and very nice peaceful it so it's a nice peaceful quiet environment exactly Matthew exactly it has a lot of meaning to ask doesn't it was main reason you would came up here off and that I like so recently I've had a crippling nicotine addiction and it really just hasn't help me in life you know like everyday I wake up I see that can funded little device setting on my desk and you know what I just I've had enough I've had enough and so to clear the air to get some fresh air and sit at harmful lung content stuff whatever you call it I come up here I Breathe In The Fresh O2 oxygen there's actually more hydrogen and then 3 

then it's just really just help me out it really helps now sorry sorry rambling but they're carrying you mentioned hydrogen-oxygen were you just say your mother much of a biology student back of a well you see yeah honestly biology year 11 year 12 and year 13 so you know I was a bio guy myself that's for sure does T2 waltz meaning from meaningful things I really think biology and learning how we came from small little sells intervision intelligent human being really just creates more meaning in your life doesn't it it really does buddy honestly it's quite bonkers as beautiful as beautiful touching words Matthew thank you thank you so when you look over the horizon of Auckland city and you'll see the the busy work life going on you know the 925 you can see the motion as people come home from busy days at work but then we're out here on the top of 

a mountain it's quite so rain and peaceful and you know it's almost it's very very peaceful like I said what do you feel like I feel you feel from this I'm asleep when I come up here it's a complete disconnect from The Hustle and bustle of daily life as a when I get up here don't worry about working at Subway I don't worry about all the little turtle turtles that I have to deal with on a day-to-day basis I don't have to worry about uni I don't have to worry about stuff I don't have to worry about my balls being itchy honestly being up here it's just a beautiful experience that gives me time to just relax and take in the environment around me so you said you worked at Subway you come about being a Subway worker to work for a multi-billion dollar franchise where the original found it was a paedophile oh yeah I forgot about that that's really crazy isn't it because I was 

really a sandwich that's bulshit I started working at Subway because I just want a little bit of my pockets and working for a multi-billion dollar company I mean like they really need to give you a fake schedule they need to be more compassionate to it their employees and honestly I feel you should be paid more than $20 an hour for the s*** you do exactly exactly Matthew

So haven't quite properly and introduced you yet so what would you say our connection is between me and you Matthew well you know we spend a lot of time at school together and you know that was all obviously the first part of our bonding experience but you know I have to school I feel like we've actually got a lot closer which is to be honest quite nice and we started especially in the first Lockdown and I'm in lockdown After High School in 

2021 and 2022 there's a lot of time that we started talking to each other and also spending a lot of time together and I feel open Main connecting place for us would be around Seaton yeah we really did spend a lot of time on Mount Eden and we got to know each other a lot better and I feel like I can trust you with anything that kind of it back up here to place with meaning not just saw a fat let you know he used it to quit your nicotine addiction exactly has deeper mean and you know I feel like as the internet sensation liver King want said you know you gotta be connected to the yard feel like doing that you'll be touching the ground you to be touching the trees and the land around so you would do it select talk about where you where you started where were you born I was born in England and yeah I know I don't really remember any of it because I was only 

there for 11 yeah my parents are on holiday and they decided to get pregnant and well not my dad he decides to get a second you have decided to get pregnant like she just shows she's going to get pregnant I'm joking she didn't realise and then cool and then I grew up there for a year and then I've been a New Zealand ever since I haven't really travelled overseas ever since then so heavily been much of a person been overseas grew up in New Zealand being kabaliwan that's about it so do you have any memories from your wine urine England I know you're a baby but you never know people do remember I remember and some clouds in the sky so blue clouds and I very specifically remember it being England ask attachments to when you see them and just make sure adrenaline a little bit but definitely start thinking about how I didn't 

remember anything else I went to Stonehenge I went to the Colosseum and Italy I went to all these little chilli dip bits you know even when we went to Buckingham Palace I was you know I was a little baby in a cop the security thought that I was a bomb started searching through my Mum's bags and everything and then they thought I was a bomb so they all freak the f*** out and then they heard the way there were and I'll just blow baby so you know I'm not killing them actually fucken well probably why you're a parent of exploding exploding you know they're very explosive people because they want to blow up Buckingham Palace so yeah I guess you can never be too cautious right definitely but for no reason why do we need a clean I'm not sure but yeah yeah so when you move back to New Zealand I guess you might have what I like some 

interesting things are happening in your early years as a new Kiwi well one time there was some scissors in the bathroom and I really aspired to be like my dad so I cut off like a big chunk of my hair because I wanted to be balls and then so we lived across from my Dad's work and my dad work to the school and I ran into the lunch room and I found my dad and I yelled in front of all the students you now and then everyone laughed at man I cried and went home so yeah no that was one younger memory which I remember quite well that's that's because you know you look up to your parents most and I think I said that you said that you know you cut your hair do you like your dad really just shows your love then the way you feel towards your dad as we passionate and caring and it's good to see that you're a strong connection with like your parents and 

whatnot yeah definitely no I cherish my dad with all my heart he is a nice bloke and he's honestly not for me over the years he is a little bit scary and I don't mean Skepta he's just very smart so you know that's always scary because you know then you have this expectation on you but I've never really worried about in recent years I did when I was younger but and I had this like perfectionism problem but you know like these days it's pretty much completely fine so so you mentioned your impact and purrfection this problem how do you feel like that affected you and your Young Years not imperfection it's just like Perfectionist like I I wanted like when I was doing work I would only want it to be perfect and then if it wasn't then I wouldn't even like bother handing it in like I found a special and high school I had a lot of issues with not handing in assignment 

actually done most of them and it was literally it was so stupid but it was just because I wanted it to be so good and I can stop actually done most of them analysts amatruda so stupid yeah it was a really stupid thing which I had in high school and yeah I had a lot of problems or that I just I wouldn't hand in assignment because I wanted it to be perfect and then anything that was not up to my expectation I wouldn't hand in because I was so scared of handing and something that I didn't think I did well on your know and yeah it was really tricky but I mean eventually I got over just took a little bit because double Park get Ballarat iPhone ok so I think it like the fact that you never wanted a hand in your assignments while there is obviously underlying issues behind it I think what it shows about your character is your soulmate strive for 

perfection and you want to be able to achieve your best and you know want to the world to see an imperfect the side of your Witcher it is issues what shows that is that you know you're strong person and it's really in a great characteristic to have and I think every early does I'll show like the recent successive had the skateboarding would you not say that's true well well lucky I mean I think that it is a good thing just tries strive for success but I think they're it can become a problem when all you strive for is the best and you can't stand anything else you have to understand that sometimes you gonna make mistakes and you always had to learn things and when you learn things make mistakes and make mistakes but eventually you'll get something which you've done the best for your ability nothing's ever perfect and you can always 

get better at it but 322 here when I was younger that when you're learning tool and new trick you have to try it again and again and again and it will never be perfect the first time it's not like you can just step on a skateboard and right down the street you have to learn how to write it and it takes ages and you can fall over you can you might even hit your head you might even hope your ankles but you just got to keep going and I think that's a really important lesson that can be taken into real life as well and can be taken and I think that can take you really fun life here it's beautiful thank you for touching on that Matthew no worries baby I heard it a previous interview that you did a couple months ago about when they happen but I heard is formed an extra to the interview that you know ever time you were you were amateurs skateboarder that recently of neighbour 

step up and I've heard that like a double a American universities offered you were special special special scholarship was skateboarding would like to touch the matter with it yeah I mean not recently just like I don't know what happened suddenly I just started getting so f****** good you know it at the start of last year at all I was doing was 50/50 is on small small little Legends and now I'm heading back rocks on Ten stairs handrails and stuff and honestly I don't know what happened but you know I think it was just right for the best strive to be perfect you might have to do you know like succulents on a rail every now and then and you might have to do you know hurt yourself but aiming for the best that is what matters is a skateboard and what do you feel like the most challenging part of it has been is definitely injuries injuries can be really demoralising 

to your character when you're a skateboarder so you know I had a torn ACL a couple of weeks ago and you're that really that gets me I was I was completely I was just bedridden and all I was thinking about was going skateboarding but I just felt like this stupid little person who couldn't even walk a couple of steps and it really just made me feel like a like you know cos I'm the sort of person where I want to help myself I want to do things myself and when I have to have the doctor help me walk a few metres and stuff like that I don't know I think that's definitely the hardest part of skateboarding and it can really not get you out of the game for quite a while so you send it a couple weeks ago that you'd be a miracle usually it takes almost recover from the ACL that you've done so you said that so it's a miracle that you're recovering two weeks can you 

please shed some light on how you managed to do it and such a timely matter you know I heard you're in Zimbabwe couple weeks ago did you like a couple of some African which doctors will stop soon no lorry I did not in fact link up with some African which doctors though that is actually quite up funny I got your life no you see the thing about me as I'm built different and nothing can really tell me down I'm a fucken' superhuman and literally a superhuman I mean it's not just that I'm built different but my dad's also into stem cell research and he's developing some new technologies for the new super him as Captain America injected into my body and it's just made me black the fucken Hulk and I can lift up cars I can fucken throw sandwiches big sandwiches like car sandwiches yeah so I'm just fucken built different at this point and the 

foreign things that have entered my body have made me massive alright so we've now touched on your lowest point in skateboarding how that your highest point is the skateboarder what do you feel like you've achieved that's you know really something you're really proud of what you're proud of the moment in skateboarding was when I landed my infamous trick on that spot I think the craziest moment in my skateboarding career was when I trade flitz eltoro also El Toro is actually felt like that so yeah but yeah eltoro I tried flipped it was f****** crazy I mean even Chris Joslin can do that shirt eat rider and you know I don't know Wiggles on his bought a little bit and fell over so you know he should it skateboarding really but no I fucken did it first try and you know all my homies was screaming at me and going stop back at 

me and going oh my God Matthew how did you do that that was fucken say you little monkey El Toro where is El Toro what what does that mean to you actually I'm not sure where was I was flying over while I was really f****** high on mushrooms it's glad to hear that man like you've definitely had your ups and downs when it comes to skateboarding how what your personalised skateboarding a slide what do you feel like your lowest and highest moment is life is what what are the lowest points my life was definitely when I was at Western College one day you'll know I was at the tuck shop and I actually like cutting front of inline in front of this massive year 13 kid and he got really angry at me and like fair enough you know but he didn't have the dunk my head in the toilet yeah that was definitely my lowest point in life yeah that's quite gruesome that he did that I can't 

imagine anyone would want to dunk your head in the toilet that's brutal I can't imagine what you went through so would you say that was like the joker moment in your life that really change Dua like you know see you on a path of vigilantism once that happened I started heading the gym five days a week I was f****** grinding I started lifting about 180 KGs by the end of the year and that kid that don't my head in the toilet I better math and sent him home trying to his mummy so yes that was definitely the Joker moment in my life that would make sense because you know I heard that you were very close to achieving your black belt in MMA which is kleiner Hai achievement and would you like to shed some light on what got you into MMA and fighting overall and how many knockouts did you get overall I've had about 18 knockouts Ivan lost the 

single fight I'm f****** and saying I'm like the Hulk but yeah anyway no basically that whole time when I was Dino MMA shirt I just wanted to be the best fighter in the world and then I picked up skateboarding so I don't know sometimes your passions just done a line and you have to get something up

Well Matthews vaping is Sally falling back into his addiction where still up on the top of it and you know we can see the CEVA beautiful sun setting slowly another son's falling down and quite romantic actually

So you said you were and western College before you moved into Mount Albert grammar would you like to shoot some more life on like that some more stories on what what is like going to school and list in college education system it was a lot of it all over the place and the teacher's like I just feel like they were under staffed and 

all of the stuff going on with a little bit strange you know I had this maths teacher that we just come and not teach us anything and then leave so I definitely lost a lot of Education at less than so I'm really glad that I ended up moving to Mount Albert grammar and I remember when I was at Mount Albert grammar the education system was just so much more after their than it was a mad then it was less than less than was just I don't know I I really don't enjoy it at points and I think I did like the sort of Brotherhood feeling I definitely the friends that I had there but our Nomads was definitely more for me than Muston for sure no that's interesting like I feel like that shares a lot of life or maybe v issues of Education system in New Zealand from High School downwards I just feel like you know there's a lot of room for improvement when it's 

maybe you could look on the teacher side of things and how they're not paid enough money and it's really interesting talk about to be going until you know later date

I noticed that you know you grow up as a ranga you know back in the days and I've heard it for a couple of things that happened at listen college more like the ranga Roundup Tuesday's could you should save light on what happened of those of its know the ranga Roundup Tuesday's would like there was at the back of the school and that just get all of the Ring is and shove them in there for the day so yeah I really didn't learn much at Western College because it turned out that they started doing rang a Thursday as well so pretty Tuesday and Thursday I couldn't learn anything cos I was sitting in a cage 

like a fucken' animal and people would people in there and pee in there when we won't be able to eat anything it was disgusting and honestly and humane but the only issue with the teacher's supported it they were totally all for it and they just wanted us to be in that cage all day because they hated rang as they reminded us of the Ron Weasley's and the Sharon's you know that was all we work them we weren't humans that's interesting take because I feel like wearing a period in our lives where the quality of such a important thing you know there's been a lot of really positive movements like the black lives matter movement which is really great and you know we're seeing a lot of like no pride month these sort of things pop-up which is which is really like a society and like help educate people and to know that we're all = human and our appearances don't met 

don't matter you know we're all human at heart and I think that's important but it sounds to me that like being a red-headed just looked over and I think maybe we need to start talking about being a redhead and how that's completely ok and maybe we need her you know a random of what will do what would a tail I really think that especially with the internet and all that connecting us we really do see the awful atrocities that happened in the world and I'm really proud of the recent developments with we've had in the LGBT community the homosexual community of my bad and then also in terms of racism and black lives matter I think there has been an improvement but I think there's more to be done for sure in terms of rain is so I just haven't seen anything and it really saddens me I'm in there was no light shed on the cage Roundup setlist and College 

there's been no talk about having people yell ranga out the window to you when you're walking when you're walking around you know that's happened to me multiple times and it really just makes me feel violated and I think they really should do something about it I'm really disappointed in New Zealand for not addressing this Jacinda ardern should you know hold the conference for runners

My son so you know receiver you over life that's been shed from the sun it's a beautiful orange colour and I think that you know oranges what birth light but what is bird lives and maybe rang as a god you're not be touched by the touch by the sun's and maybe we need to be treated maybe we need to treat them with more respect and treat them as they were the Gods of 

the Human Planet they are and I think what what a good way to do us a bears we were you know has rang the sun god thought we could be doing is burning the entire as it was steak you still thought of a son and burn them alive and teach of a list and I think that might be quieter and pack full movie of it we could follow along well personally I don't consider myself to be a religious person but I believe that are committing genocide against people who are not rang is is not the right way to get outlet I mean you know like I understand the hatred and the anger that you can have all that built-up rage from people saying all your ganga and all that kind of thing but you know honestly I just don't think that's the way to go about it and not very religious I do believe that my mum that what my mum told me about turning the other cheek comes into play here we just 

we need to not not turn around and let us smack on the bum of course we need to speak out but revenge is not the Jedi way and I believe that we should not go about it that way in terms of rain is being gods I definitely quite agree with you I don't mean by dad was only able to inject me with those superhuman serums because I was around it and they can only give it to rang the so I think that rang is may actually be the next super human race