#and he has so many feelings it's embarassing for him that anya can read him like a book

[thegirlinthecher]

Loid: a spy must never do anything to give away their intentions and thoughts

Also Loid in literal public:

[theconfusedartist]

Rae Hawke Chronicles

So, since I’ve been getting really far in my playthrough and I’ve been making fanart and fanfic for my wardens and stuff for the longest, but felt like I didn’t have enough meta to consistently write them, I’m just gonna start chronicling the meta of my chars in posts like these so I can refer back to it when I’m writing them.

Name: Rae Hawke

Class: Mage

Specialization: Spirit Healer, Blood Magic

Cantrips: Horror, Sleep, Hex of Torment, Hex of Terror, Heal, Mind Blast

Lover: Isabela + Merrill

Close Friends: Fenris, Varric

Friend: Anders

Weird Relationship: Sebastian, Tallis

Family: Leandra (mother), Bethany(sister), Carver(brother), Malcolm(father(deceased)), Sapphire(sibling(deceased)), Leon (sibling(deceased)), Gamlen (uncle), Ava Amell (cousin)

Before Ostagar:

Malcolm was an elven mage who had grown up in the Kirkwall alienage, chained and taken away from his home at a young age and dragged off to the circle. Due to this, Malcolm was cut off from all his family, friends, and ties he had to his past life, now stuck in a cage where he can’t escape the racism, fear, and prying eyes of the templars. Wishing for the simpler days, back with his family, he began to hate his magic, viewing it as a curse and instead decided to learn more about the Dalish and city elves, hoping to one day run back home to his family to or to the Dalish clans that often passed through Sundermont. 

As his hate for his magic grew, the more strict Malcolm became about the use of his own magic, reading all and any books that would teach him better to get rid of his powers. After a failed escape and solitary confinement for a year, Malcolm changed his stance on magic, from then on using it every day, for all the small things and large, in an attempt to view it as another limb that he can control at will, so when the templars cast dispel magic on him, he woudl be able to resist it and continue to defend himself.

One day, after skipping out on a lesson due to his own conflicting viewpoints with his instructor, Malcolm met the Amell family, as a cousin was being brought into the circle in Kirkwall, away from the Amell in the circle of Ferelden. At this time, he met Leandra, who was at first put off by his pride in elven culture, magic, and gruff demeanor, but as she continued to come by to visit her cousin, she ended up running into him more often and started to enjoy his company as she saw that he was willing to listen to what she had to say and didn’t belittle her, treating her as an equal, rather than putting on airs and being false with her. 

The more time passed, the less gruff Malcolm became, leaving small gifts where Leandra would find it, things that would bring her luck, fortune, and safety no matter where she went. While it was obvious that it was Malcolm giving her these gifts, he rarely ever did it directly, and would avoid the subject if asked, becoming easily embarassed at his open affections for her. 

As time passed, the new knight captain was put into position, Meredith Stannard, along with her close confidante, Orsino who was there advising her and asissting her the moment she was given command. Leandra’s cousin had the misfortune of sporting a crush on Orsino for a time and Meredith had her killed to send a message to any others that tried to befriend Orsino. 

Leandra was horrified and feared that soon Meredith’s wrath would extend to Malcolm and urged him to run away with her and to live a happy life with him. While he told her he would take the opportunity if he had the chance, he would, but he feared there was no way for him to get out of the circle, as Meredith was gaining more and more templar and chantry support and keeping a closer eye on all the mages who had passed their harrowing. 

Enter the wardens. Leandra knew that there was a warden coming to Kirkwall soon, as the warden had sent an invite to one of the nobles in hightown for a place to stay while they were in the area. Leandra cornered a warden, in polite society and then asked for a private audience with one of the higher ranking wardens. The dwarven warden agreed, and the commander of the grey, Larius told them to make their meeting quick as they had other business to attend to. 

Leandra then made her plea to the dwarf, much to her disappointment that Leandra hadn’t wanted this meeting solely for her good company, but was moved by Leandra’s plea, remembering being stuck in the casteless, feeling trapped with no way out. The dwarf then persuaded Larius to help them smuggle Leandra and Malcolm out of Kirkwall, but only if they agreed to the conditions that they set for them.

Leandra then took Malcolm from the circle, under the claims of needing a healer to deal with what was ailing her, and told Malcolm of her plan to get them both out of the city. Overcome with joy, the two of them spent a passionate night together. After a few months of waiting for the wardens to asisst in the destruction Malcolm’s phylactery, the day finally came for Malcolm to leave the circle. Larius reminded Malcolm that he has to do what they tell him, as he gave them his word, and Malcom happily agreed, as the wardens took Leandra out of Kirkwall on a private ship and Malcolm accompanied the wardens to the Vinmark Mountains as part of their business. 

Seeing that Malcolm would have to use demons and blood magic, he refused to continue, claiming that he wouldn’t lower himself to blood magic, and the wardens reminded him that they still had Leandra with them and they could hide her away in a place he would never find her, and silenced Malcolm’s further protests with the news that Leandra was pregnant (Rae) and that he wouldn’t want to jeopardize the life of their unborn child. So, Malcolm reluctantly agreed, and kept the magic that held Corypheus bound for a few more years with his blood, then going off to Leandra, hoping to put it all behind him and that his children would never inherit the curse of his magic.

Malcolm and Leandra Hawke gave birth to one child (Rae), two years later a set of twins (Bethany and Carver) and then four years later gave birth to another set of twins (Sapphire and Leon). Save for Carver, all of the children born of Leandra and Malcolm were mages. Rae and Bethany were taught the proper way to use their magic and be at peace with it, but Sapphire and Leon, seeing the hate and problems that magic had brought the family denied their magic and instead took up theft and rogue activities in the alienage that they lived nearby.

The Events of Ostagar:

Bethany, Sapphire, and Leon stayed behind with Leandra and Rae went to see Carver off to the army in Ostagar, but after learning that the army was outnumbered and not well planned, Rae decided to stay for the battle to watch Carver’s back. 

It was good that she did, since the fighting kept going on after the torch was lit and no reinforcements came to aid them, Carver was willing to stay to the last breath to fight against the darkspawn, but Rae convinced him that it would be better to die after a long life than for a king smeared on the ground and a battle already lost.

Rae and Carver managed to make it back into Lothering, where Sapphire and Leon had snuck off to see scout for any ways out of Lothering, while Bethany and Leandra packed. Carver helped set up the larger of their belongings, while Rae went to the local inn to get supplies, only to walk into the fight between the late grey-warden commander, who was fighting against Loghain’s men with the local chantry sister, Leliana. Not wanting to get involved with the absolute chaos going on in the inn, Rae didn’t bother to stick around or talk to any of the wardens (of those that were present, Anya Aeducan, Natya Brosca, Ava Amell, Ayre Surana, Cece Cousland, and Alistair) as she went out to gather as many herbs as she possibly could, snatching reagents as she tried to avoid all the fights the wardens were causing all over the town. After witnessing the wardens kill a number of attacking towns members and darkspawn that had swarmed the gate, Rae then set up wards and traps around their home as they got ready. 

While this did later give the family enough time to escape Lothering with their lives, via an off road pass that Sapphire and Leon found, they managed to escape. On the road, the family decided to go to Kirkwall for shelter, as Leandra believed they would be returning to nobility, and soon after encountered Aveline and her husband, Weasley, who had detoured from his mission to deliver a message to Denerim for the right of Annulment in the wake of hearing about the events at Ostagar. 

The family and new companions stuck together and protected each other from the darkspawn that continued to surround them and entered into an open plain to scout out for any other routes to Gwaren, only to be attacked by an ogre.

Sapphire and Leon, the two closest to Leandra, struck the orge first. Sapphire went in to attack the weak spots between the joints on the ogre’s leg, while Leon shot arrows at the ogre’s head, but neither of their attacks were affective. Sapphire was grabbed then crushed in the hands of the ogre, which then after used her dead body to smash Leon to death. Leandra barely managed to survive the onslaught, in shock at watching two of her children die in front of her. 

Rae, foolishly charged at the ogre, swinging her staff wildly and beating it over and over again, casting horrible waking nightmares on the brute and taking advantage of it’s inability to attack, Carver and Aveline dealt with the other darkspawn as Bethany gathered what was left of the bodies of her siblings and escorted her mother and Weasley as far away from the fighting as possible. Enraged, Rae Hawke used blood magic for the very first time, using it to rip apart the ogre limb by limb. This took an extreme effort and Rae was no longer much use in the fight, nearly collapsing from intense mana and blood loss and the darkspawn overwhelmed them. 

Before they were killed, a dragon swooped in, killing the surrounding darkspawn and revealing to be the witch of the Wilds, Flemeth, who seemed very interested in helping them out should they carry an amulet back to the free marches with them.

Leandra, blamed Rae for the death of Leon and Sapphire and refused to speak to her on the way to Kirkwall, Carver couldn’t bear to look at her after hearing her sob in the lower holds one night, and Bethany was very much unresponsive to the events around her, and didn’t interact when pushed. Rae had to carry Bethany off the boat, as Carver and Aveline bore what little they had left as the Leandra stumbled on along them, only to learn that refugees were being turned away at the doors.

Refusing to let this stop her, Rae stormed in, demanding that the captain find their uncle Gamlen Amell to come and get them. After a bloody disagreement with other deserters, in which Rae revealed her magic power, the captain agreed to let them stay in the gallows while they wait for their uncle to arrive.

Three days later, Gamlen gives them the opportunity to get into Kirkwall either by Athenril the smuggler or Meeran the raider, who would pay their way to get into the city. After meeting with the both of them and having an internal disagreement, they eventually voted on signing on with Meeran as none of them were comfortable with smuggling, had any sort of lockpicking, and no stealth abilities whatsoever, and it helped that they could explain away explosions in the heat of battle.

And so, they committed a murder for pay and let the blood on their hands pay the toll to the city of chains.