#and he has no notion of consequences because he spent his whole teenage years

[seyaryminamoto]

Am I imagining things or is Ozai about two steps away from having a mental breakdown identical to Azula's in canon. Seems like Zhao and Seethus are the only two people keeping him from becoming an unstable, paranoid wreck. Zhao also seems to be secretly getting less confident in Ozai and might even side with Azula in the future for the sake of The Fire Nation's future, helping her in some long term plot to get rid of her father. Yep yep, I thin Ozai is in for another betrayal in future, hehehe.

... Weeeeell, not exactly.

I mean, there's definitely several similarities in both character arcs, many of them accidental, some of them 100% intentional because ultimately, Azula's downfall in canon is a consequence of following her father's footsteps way too closely even when she knew, deep in her heart, that it wasn't what she truly wanted (at least, that's how I've always interpreted it). Hence, it's only natural that Ozai's philosophies would burn him back if the situation were reversed somehow... and you could certainly argue that it is reversed in Gladiator.

But, this being said, Ozai's thought process is quite different from Azula's. He's a lot less prepared to doubt himself, even if at times there's a sliver of opportunity that he'll do a minimal amount of self-reflection... but in his case, that doubt, that self-reflection, only arrives AFTER he's done his worst. So... imagine Azula not having any moments of vulnerability in canon, no mirror scene, nothing of the sort, and only after utterly defeating her brother and Katara would she go "... wait, why don't I feel 100% happy about this?" That's, more or less, what Ozai's path of devastation looks like. The man's just... unhinged as hell right now. I honestly never imagined I'd hate him as much as I do after writing this arc x'D I always took him on as an interesting challenge of a character due to how messed up he is, I never shied away from showing him at his worst... but damn, the way he's betrayed Azula while pretending she's the one betraying him just makes me see red every time I think of it.

So, after that digression there, Ozai still has a lot to offer the story, there's much character exploration to be done still, so we're really not going to simply retread canon's footsteps by just switching around the characters taking each role... nah. There's a few points in common with canon for sure, a few concepts I've definitely tampered with and played around with in order to sort-of challenge canon in my own way, but I wouldn't inflict a fate like Azula's canon fate upon a character, not when I have pleeenty of story left to tell about said character, for better or for worse.

Zhao... well. I fear Zhao's relationship with Ozai is getting messier and messier, but... that doesn't necessarily mean an alliance with Azula is in the cards for him. As will be demonstrated once Part 3 begins... Zhao is actually a little bit more spooked by Azula (and Sokka) than he ever had been before. Even after growing to respect her some more, deep down he continued to treat her as a child when it came to her big "betrayal", he saw it as the whims of a young woman who fell in love carelessly, so on and so forth... never did he expect she and Sokka would be able to not only escape Ozai's wrath but get Combustion Man killed in such a brutal and dangerous way. So... he's apprehensive. Rightfully so, I would say, because he's finally seeing Azula and Sokka as more than just younglings without common sense... no, now they're fully-grown assholes with no common sense and a very strong attachment to each other that seems to have convinced them to set the whole world on fire if that's the only way they'll save each other.

So... to put it simply, Azula, Ozai and Zhao are in for a veeeeery messed up dynamic going forward. There's an underlying tinge of affection in a few of those relationships (... not really in Azula and Zhao's case, I'll admit), but more than anything, there's a toooon of resentment, hostility and fear of whatever the other one will do next. It's kind of like that scene in PoTC where everyone's aiming guns at each other? Yeeeeah, that's what these three will be like, going forward...

[aion-rsa]

From Bridgerton to Sanditon—Putting Island Queen in a Period Drama Context

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This article contains book spoilers for Island Queen and a trigger warning for racism and sexual assault.

Caribbean history is often ignored in US discussions of the era, despite myself and many other Americans having ancestry from this part of the world. Jane Austen’s Mansfield Park has extended references to Caribbean slavery but many adaptations sidestep these implications or briefly address them before moving back to the white main characters. In addition, the focus is often on male leaders of rebellions such as Toussaint L’Overture leading the Haitian rebellion, or on women with island ancestry such as Dido Elizabeth from the movie Belle living in England. All are written by white novelists and screenwriters who miss cultural nuances and are unaware of subconscious bias. Island Queen, Vanessa Riley’s latest foray into Black historical fiction reveals a hidden figure of Caribbean history. Dorothy Kirwan was born into slavery in Montserrat, but secured her own freedom by becoming an astute businesswoman. 

Riley’s novel takes readers on a complex but emotionally fufilling journey which brings up serious historical questions on slavery, class, gender, and business ethics during the late 18th and early 19th centuries. Riley’s novel is the answer for fans who feel recent historical dramas prioritize varying levels of whitewashing or escapism over featuring real Black history. 

Kirwan’s story has incredible relevance today as many look to understand the enduring legacies of British colonialism and the slave trade in the late 18th and early 19th Century. Her diary does not exist but Riley assembled birth records and other primary sources to trace her life. This is in contrast to sources such as the anonymously published novel The Woman Of Colour which historians are still looking to corroborate authorship and connections to real Caribbean figures.   Kirwan at times the mirror image of the fictionalized story of July from The Long Song, but there are also flash points of difference along class and timeframe context. July was born roughly 50 years later than Kirwan in Jamaica.  In addition, Dorothy’s life journey takes the reader from Montserrat to Demerara (off the coast of modern day Guyana), Grenada, and Dominica. Most importantly, Riley is an Caribbean-American writer while Andrea Levy wrote The Long Song for Black British readers. 

Dorothy’s in-character first person narration is the glue that holds the story together through frequent flashbacks to her childhood and young adulthood to her life in 1824 as a grandmother. The main theme of self-determination in a world where rich white men decide the rules everyone must play keeps the reader engaged even when it is not clear where the plot is heading. In the present plot, Dorothy has returned to London after many years away to petition colonial leaders to retain hard-won rights for Black and biracial women in Demerara. These unequal laws threaten Dorothy’s children and grandchildren and could even take away the freedom and inheritance she has spent her whole life to build. 

Bridgerton’s critics will find solace in Island Queen. Those who wanted the Black aristocracy of Haiti and other Caribbean islands featured in the series will find this history at the center. Kirwan navigates a world with inherent inequality, despite how much she has achieved in property ownership and savings. When she interacts with British and colonial elites, they never treat her as if she has power over them. The racial caste system in existence influences all of her interactions. After a breakup, she takes up an offer from Prince William (Queen Victoria’s uncle who died with no legitimate heirs) to travel with him on his ship. In Dorothy’s story, he provides a temporary emotional distraction but also a recognition that she would never fit into the British elite because of her skin color and island background. Unlike Queen Charlotte in Bridgerton, the real prejudices of the era held Dorothy back from ascending completely into the highest levels of royal society. Riley’s narrative, especially, ignores what could have been and shows readers the truth. 

These rich white men who placed artificial limits on Dorothy were also the source for young Alexander Hamilton’s childhood poverty. However, his solution as featured in the opening song of Hamilton was to leave the islands to pursue his education in America. This was an option steeped in male and to an extent white privilege as women at this point in history were not allowed to attend college. In addition, American society had already enacted severe restrictions in the rights of free people of color. Hamilton also was an orphan. Dorothy’s parents and her children kept her rooted to the Caribbean. 

The road to Dorothy acquiring a thriving business and heirs was lengthy and arduous, and Riley does not sugar coat the dynamics at play in her life. Kirwan’s mother was a slave and her father owned a plantation. The more percentage of white ancestry you have in your blood, the more freedom and rights you have. In her teenage years, Dorothy’s white half-brother Nicholas rapes her and she ends up giving birth to a daughter. Dorothy is forced to run away with a trusted friend to another island and has to leave her daughter behind. This is the beginning of many sacrifices she makes in order to protect her family. 

Although many readers may object to Riley portraying incest and sexual assault, the historical research makes this clear that this was the reality for women in slave societies. Dorothy’s narration is carefully crafted to show not only the trauma of the event, but her processing the trauma. For Dorothy, healing comes in the form of survival. The objective isn’t exploitation or the male gaze, but to illuminate ignored history and the intersection of race and gender in sexual power dynamics. Dorothy has to repeatedly establish consent and trust in a world where her partners can and will refuse to agree to those terms. The debate over rape culture in historical fiction revolves around characters that are fictional facing fictionalized situations, especially in the TV adaptations of Outlander and Bridgerton. Additionally, Outlander has sidestepped any serious contemplation of exploitation dynamics in slave societies despite plots featuring 8th Century Jamaica and North Carolina.  It is difficult to apply this same critique to Riley’s novel as her intention is historical recreation and reconstruction of Kirwan’s life story. 

Riley’s explanation and contextualization of race and gender dynamics is something many viewers wanted the first season of British historical drama Sanditon to address, past the show alluding to Georgiana’s ancestry and £100,000 inheritance. In fact, Riley explains in the Author’s Note that the journey to finding Dorothy Kirwan began with figuring out who the real Miss Lambe could have been over a decade ago. For Georgiana to have that kind of wealth, she would have had to have a white male ancestor willing and able to use the law to secure her freedom. Sidney’s connection to Georgiana as her legal ward isn’t clear, representing a missed opportunity that erodes the story’s worldbuilding. Dorothy’s explanation of social rankings and her own background means it is highly likely Georgiana is the product of a relationship between a white planter and an enslaved or indentured woman. Georgiana isn’t the only example of an fictional heir from the islands around this time period. Rhoda Swartz from Vanity Fair has Black and Jewish ancestry along with thousands of pounds. Island Queen has the space and interest to completely center the story of women like Georgiana and Rhoda position from the perspective of a Black writer and historian. 

Dorothy also reveals through her life experiences that interracial relationships with unequal power dynamics were often one of the only ways enslaved Black and biracial women could gain their freedom. In stark contrast to America during the late 18th Century, interracial relationships were never officially outlawed, but it was very rare for white men to officially marry women of color. More often, these women were mistresses and concubines, and any children from these relationships legally belonged to the father. Any relationship an enslaved woman undertook carried the risk of losing her children, with her past often used as a weapon of misogynoir, or simultaneous racist and sexist discrimination.  

One plot line unites Island Queen and The Long Song: both July and Dorothy lose a daughter to their white slave holding father who wanted to raise them in England. This trauma drives July to poverty while Dorothy had to wrestle the trauma alongside her mission to to fight to secure manumission papers for her children and also to develop a source of income that cannot be controlled by the men in her life. 

Read more

TV

How The Long Song Spotlights Ignored Black Caribbean History

By Amanda-Rae Prescott

Books

How Bridgerton Season 2 Can Improve On Season 1

By Amanda-Rae Prescott

At one point, she engages in survival sex work, then finds work as a housekeeper. Eventually, she is able to start her own housekeeping and domestic worker agency. She was well aware that some of her employees would choose to have relations with their bosses, but she made sure that she was not seen as a brothel owner for legal reasons. This is in stark contrast to some of the characters from Harlots on Hulu where brothel ownership or their sex worker status was an open secret.This is another area where Black women would suffer worse consequences for perceived immorality in society compared to white women. In fact, rumors of sex work follow her  Dorothy doesn’t intefere if her housekeepers decide to engage in sex work but she insists on mutual consent.  Riley does not apply any modern notions of slut-shaming or anti-sex-worker rhetoric. The reader understands that options for women’s employment outside of domestic service in these island colonies were severely limited. 

Dorothy’s narrative exposes both vulnerability in her relationships with her children and her significant others and also in her resolve to maintain her status. Far too often, Black women in historical fiction are reduced to tropes such as the “strong Black woman” that are not realistic to historical or modern readers. Or even worse, authors who completely erase the presence of Black women in the late Georgian and Regency Era by only featuring white women. 

The challenge in reading Island Queen for those uninitiated in Caribbean history of this era is to separate our modern historical knowledge from the reality Dorothy faces. Although Riley’s narrative does not make excuses for her questionable decisions, the narration makes clear that Dortothy is navigating a racist, sexist and classist society. Part of Dorothy’s later wealth comes from owning slaves. This was not a decision based on wanting to inflict cruelty, but due to the power dynamics in colonial society which punished those who refused to participate in the slave trade. Dorothy opposes slavery but also realize that open rebellion will cost her life or the lives of those around her. She is not isolated from the violence of slave rebellions and of the consequences of suppression. Riley in the Author’s Note says Kirwan freed all of her slaves in 1833 when slavery in Demerara was officially outlawed.

Dorothy’s narrative may have the background makings of a tragedy, but Riley reveals that her life was ultimately a success. Kirwan built her business and eventually reunited most members of her family. She even saw her children marry successfully and met several of her grandchildren. None of her children lived in poverty and she prevented all of them from working as slaves. While some may wish her various relationships could have created a permanent happy ever after, the real satisfaction comes from seeing Kirwan preserve her legacy for the next generation. Real Black historical stories such as Kirwan’s are incredibly rare in US and UK media as wholly fictional composite characters dominate existing period dramas and historical fiction novels. Island Queen, if enough people read it, could become a TV or movie adaptation that would give viewers the real truths of late 18th Century/Regency Era Caribbean history. The genre is overdue for a biography adaptation led by Black writers without the white gaze. 

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Island Queen will be available in bookstores July 6th. You can order the book here.

The post From Bridgerton to Sanditon—Putting Island Queen in a Period Drama Context appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[universally-the-same]

The link between perfectionism and escapism

Another benefit to therapy is that it’s allowed me to start connecting the dots to behavior patterns in my life. After making these realizations, I’m seeing how important it is to look for and recognize these patterns. If you want to make a change in your life, or better understand why it is that you do what you do, look for the patterns. There’s so much more to their story that what you see up front.

Perfectionism I’ve always admitted to being a perfectionist, but never really considered how extensively that theme played out in my life. It’s not just perfectionism in tasks, or the “all or nothing” tendency that I have when I start a new diet, or start working out. It’s more expansive and all encompassing than that. Katie used the word hyper-focus which sums it up perfectly. My fourteen year-old-self would have used the word obsessive, but I like the word hyper-focus better. I feel like it removes any preconceived negative notions that comes along with this level of perfectionism.

Throughout my life there has always been something that I’m hyper-focused on. Mostly the object of my focus has been something that has benefited me positively on some level, though thinking back there were times where I became hyper-focused on my woes as well.

I think back to my idolization of Dolly Parton and Jean Smart, and my obsessive friendship with Jean’s publicist. I think back to the guy I was fixated on at the mall and how my BFF and I would go and spend hours every Friday night hanging out in the music section of Sears so that I could be the object of his attention. These are just a few of the examples off the top of my head that consumed me for years growing up.

When I would allow myself to feel into my reality, I would blare my music and feel every lyric and every note of every song. I would relate to the music, and allow it to engulf me in sadness. It was this crazy extreme of feeling alone, yet knowing that I wasn’t because someone else could articulate what I was feeling.

This, however led to a summer where I became fixated on poetry. I poured my heart and my tears onto paper as I expressed my feelings in a rhythmic fashion. In one summer I wrote close to 80 poems.

As I grew older, country line-dancing became my obsession and 6 nights out of the week you would find me on the dance floor; a social butterfly feeling into the music once again; but this time allowing it to engulf me in joy.

When I met my husband, I threw myself into our relationship and lost sight of everything else. Many years into our marriage, when I began to acknowledge that I had lost a part of myself I went back to school. Not only in hopes of finding a better job, but because I believed that it would help fill that hole. It did, because I became obsessed with school. I graduated top of my class.

When I wasn’t throwing myself into my schoolwork, I was throwing myself into my work-work and winning awards for top sales there. But once I finished my Associates and Bachelor’s degrees, I had nothing to fixate on, work was miserable, and once again that void in my soul made it’s presence known.

It was during this time that I decided to finally listen to the voice in my head that had been suggesting therapy. Through therapy I found meditation, which allowed me to reconnect with my soul and I reconnected with my spirituality again.

I was able to start learning how to control my anxiety though meditation and mindfulness, and also by releasing some of my perfectionist tendencies. I began realizing that it didn’t matter what other people thought, it only mattered what I thought. This earth-shattering news allowed me to start loving myself which opened the door for me being able to start trusting myself again.

Five years later, the rabbit hole has gotten deeper and deeper, but I’ve been loving every second of it. Some might say that I’ve become somewhat hyper-focused on this whole process. While I don’t necessarily agree, because I believe that self-work is some of the most important work you could ever do, would that really be such a bad thing? And let’s be honest, it’s never been about being a “bad thing”. My perfectionism was actually a blessing in disguise.

I’m now learning that my hyper focus had been a means of survival for me; a coping mechanism. You see, my hyper focus tendency, I’ve come to learn, is another form of escapism for me. By becoming consumed by the task/object at hand, it has allowed me to not have to focus on other things in my life that may not have been so pleasant, such as my childhood with my mother.

Escapism All of the people/things listed above were all forms of escapism for me. But as I go further, I realize that there were more. My best friend and I played with Barbies until we were 16 growing up. Yes, I feel funny admitting to that, but this is one of the ways that I coped with my reality. The intricate story lines that we would play out allowed me to escape. I could become someone who was beautiful, had the perfect body, was popular, had an amazing singing voice, was confident, had a wonderful boyfriend… these were all things that I didn’t have, and all things that I wanted.

And it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t acknowledge the role that food played into all of this. After the divorce, things were hard. I was living a life of alternating extremes. On one hand, I had my mother’s house that was full of strict rules with severe consequences resulting in physical and mental abuse. On the other hand, my dad was working three jobs to take care of me and afford to send me to private school. This meant that I was often home by myself, unsupervised.

I spent my weeks with my father dreading going back to my mother’s house, and the weeks with my mother were spent wishing I could be at my dad’s house. Food became a source of comfort, escapism and an area of my life that I could control.

Growing up, my earliest “diet mentality” that I was introduced to comes from my father trying to teach me portion control in a deli when I wanted a small bag of chips. I was probably around the age the 7. The deal ended up being that I could get the chips, but the trade off was that I couldn’t eat the whole bag. Now, this isn’t a ridiculous trade-off, and I don’t think that my father did anything wrong. I know that everything was out of concern for me and my well being, as well as trying to prevent me from enduring what he had as an chubby teenager, but it’s also the first time in my life that food became “restrictive” or a “bad thing”.

One of the thought processes behind intuitive eating is that once the “restriction” is removed from the food, the desire and the need to have that food becomes less. That “forbidden item” just becomes… food. And once it becomes “just food” the need to binge on that particular food source lessens because you know you’ll have it again. (Not saying that intuitive eating is a free-for-all, and I as I continue to learn about the process, I will continue to explain more) but I do believe that those “rules” and “restrictions” toward food (along with a cocktail of other mitigating factors) set me up for my life long relationship with it.

Now, back to this idea of finding an area of my life that I could control. As I mentioned, half of my post-divorce life was spent with unreasonable, rigid rules the other half was freedom. In some ways, food became a drug and a means of escapism.

It literally allowed me to escape because I would sneak off to the 7-11 that was several blocks away, or I would sneak off to the little convenience store by one of our favorite breakfast places. There was adventure, and excitement, a thrill in getting the food. And then when I got it, eating it released endorphins that made me feel happy and safe.

In previous posts, I’ve talked about how the only happy memories I have with my mother are surrounding food, and how food also provided me nurture and nourishment. So it served so many purposes, and really.. it did a great job. I had opportunities to try different recreational substances during this period in my life, but thankfully, I never felt the need to escape from these, because I had found my escape from something else.

What this means today After explaining all of that, someone could look at my life today and think… what could she possibly have to escape from now? And it’s true… I’m very grateful for the life I have. Is it perfect? Of course not, but I recognize what I do have and focus on that. I’ve always been a positive person and my optimism also allows me to thrive because I don’t focus on the bad.

But that’s not to say that I don’t have bad days. And when I get sick, or get into a fight with someone, or I’m stressed out at work, or stressed out because a family member is sick, or there’s a ten-thousand dollar home repair that needs to be done on that I have to miraculously make the funds appear for… I mean… the list goes on and on. And let’s be real… it’s normal life stuff. The stuff that each and everyone of us deals with every day.

That’s this stuff that still triggers what has become a subconscious reaction in my body. When there is some level of stress, be it mental, physical, emotional, and I’m sure even spiritual, my body goes into survival mode. It’s what it’s spent the last 32 years doing. And now, I have to somehow retrain that subconscious response.

It’s going to be challenging, for sure. But for the first time in my life, I’ve been gifted with an incredible amount of insight into an area of my life where I’ve been searching for answers for so long. That insight allows for a whole other level of self-awareness. I’m now realizing how deep my relationship with food runs. It’s more than a source of fuel for my body. It’s been a literal means for survival on many levels.

 *this blog post was originally posted on my My Curvy Journey blog on 4/14/2019 and moved to my Universally the Same blog.

[missmentelle]

What is BPD and how does it manifest? What are your personal experiences with it and what are the misconceptions?

Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental health condition that severely disrupts your ability to form stable and healthy attachments to others, and to form a stable and healthy sense of yourself. It usually develops for the first time in your late teens or early 20s, and it can last for the rest of your life, although many people with BPD are able to successfully control their symptoms or even achieve full remission if they seek mental health treatment. BPD can be a brutal disorder to live with, and the symptoms can seriously impact your day-to-day functioning. People with BPD may find it incredibly difficult to achieve their goals or lead a “normal” life. Unlike people with other personality disorders that affect relationships, people with BPD desperately want to have healthy relationships with other people, but their symptoms make this incredibly difficult to achieve, which is a constant source of frustration and shame for many people who have this disorder. Symptoms of BPD include:

Intense and near-irrational fear of abandonment. They live with constant fear that the people in their lives will abandon them, even if there are absolutely no signs that this is the case. They will go to extreme lengths to avoid being abandoned, even if the risk of abandonment is entirely imaginary. 

Relationships that are very intense, and very unstable. They tend to engage in a pattern called “splitting”, where they see someone as wonderful and flawless and perfect in one moment, and then see them as worthless, unreliable and untrustworthy the next. They either have you on a pedestal or they are convinced that you hate them, with very little time spent between those two extremes. 

Frequent mood swings. This is more than just the usual “up and down” of something like bipolar disorder - they swing between a wide range of emotions like shame, disgust, euphoria, despair, rage and everything in between. 

Disproportionate emotional reactions. People with BPD have more or less the “correct” emotional reaction to events in their lives, but the intensity of their emotional reaction is completely blown out of proportion. A neurotypical person might be mildly annoyed if their partner forgot to text them when they promised to. A person with BPD may lapse into full-blown rage and despair, and these intense feelings could last for hours or days. Anger is the most common emotion that they experience with added intensity, and it can even cause harmless interactions to quickly escalate. 

Reckless behaviour. People with BPD often partake in high-risk behaviour, like drug use, unprotected sex, gambling, spending sprees, or unsafe and reckless driving. They also have a tendency to self-sabotage - sometimes when things are going well in their lives, they will suddenly quit their jobs, drop out of school and break up with their partners with absolutely no warning. 

An unstable sense of their own identity. This is hard to explain to someone who doesn’t experience it, but most people have a pretty stable sense of who they are, what they value, what they want, what their goals are, etc. People who BPD do not have any stable answers for any of those things. Their sense of “self” shifts rapidly and often. They may completely change their entire image of themselves from day to day, or go through periods where they even doubt if they exist. 

Self-harm and suicidal behaviour. People with BPD frequently self-harm, and they have one of the highest suicide rates of any disorder. Their self-harm is usually triggered by a real or imagined abandonment or rejection, and it can be extremely difficult to manage. 

A general sense of emptiness. People with BPD often feel that their lives are meaningless, or that they will never be happy. They might feel like nothing matters, or that they are bad, worthless people who do not deserve to be happy. 

BPD is a very tricky disorder to cope with, especially when it comes to relationships. It is important to remember that people with BPD are not bad people, and it is not their fault that they have this disorder. Many of the behaviours they exhibit are the result of all the pain and distress that they are feeling, not because they have any malicious intent. Many of them are simply desperate to be loved, and their extreme emotions are what prevent them from achieving this in a healthy way. At the same time, though, it’s important to acknowledge that people with BPD can cause serious harm to people they form relationships with, and the pain that their friends, family members and partners feel is just as real and just as valid. People with BPD are sometimes the perpetrators of abuse (as well as the victims), and it’s naive to think that a potential partner can overcome these issues through love and patience alone. The symptoms are aggravating to deal with as a person with BPD actually experiencing them, and they can be exhausting or terrifying to deal with as the partner of a person who has BPD. A diagnosis of BPD is not an excuse to treat others badly, and people with this disorder are still responsible for recognizing when they need to seek help, or when they might need to take a break from relationships as a whole. 

I’ve had numerous experiences with BPD in my lifetime. I’ve worked with it as a mental health professional; many of the homeless kids I worked with met the criteria for BPD, and for many of them, BPD was at least contributing to their ongoing homelessness. Some had burned bridges with family members or professional organizations that could help them, due to their erratic or intense behaviour. Many had experimented broadly with drug use, reckless behaviour or casual sex, and had faced life-altering consequences - like drug dependency, criminal records or unwanted pregnancies - as a result. Many of them were caught up in very intense and very unhealthy romantic relationships, and they were unable to work on other aspects of their life (finishing school, finding housing, finding employment, etc) because all of their time and energy was devoted to their high-needs relationships. It’s hard to get someone to sit down and work on their math homework when they feel an intense need to comb through their partner’s instagram for any signs of cheating. It can be a very tricky disorder to deal with as a professional, because you are no exception to the person’s fear of abandonment or their intense relationship style - it can be more difficult to form consistent trust and rapport with BPD clients than it is with other clients, which makes treatment difficult. 

I also have a lot of hands-on experience with BPD in my personal life. I lived with a partner who had BPD for two years, although he only received his official diagnosis after we had already ceased living together. We got together as teenagers, and as far as I can tell, he developed BPD in his early 20s, around two years after we met. My ex refused all forms of mental health treatment, and living with a person who had untreated Borderline Personality Disorder was one of the most exhausting and difficult experiences of my life. He had the classic “splitting” pattern; much of the time, he had me up on a pedestal, and he would boldly tell me and other people that I was the most perfect person who ever lived, that I was the answer to all of his problems, and that he never needed anything or anyone else in the world as long as he had me. Other days, he would tell me that I never cared about him, that he would never be good enough for me, and that I secretly wanted to leave him. We had some happy days, hanging out and just being best friends who were madly in love with each other, but as his disorder really took hold, the extremes became much more common. His behaviour became reckless and erratic, and he started leaving our apartment at night to break into nearby abandoned buildings and construction site. He never developed any anger problems, but he became despondent, and started spending entire days sobbing on the couch and contemplating suicide. His goals and view of himself changed weekly - some weeks he saw himself as smart and studious, and some weeks he saw himself as being doomed to homelessness. I cared about him very, very much, but I could not live like that anymore. He was not a bad person and his situation was not his fault - although it was his responsibility to accept help, which he failed to do - but he was not good for my own mental health. No one is obligated to stay in such a tumultuous and unstable relationship, and unfortunately it reached a point where I could not do it anymore. 

Unfortunately, my current partner and I are also dealing with a situation with BPD at the moment. In this case, however, he has an ex-partner with BPD who cannot accept that their relationship is over. Every couple of weeks she calls him in the middle of the night, sometimes to declare that he is the most wonderful person she ever met and insist that they were meant to be together. Other times, she calls to tell him that he is a terrible person who never cared about her or respected her, and she informs him that she is in the middle of self-harming because of him. We both acknowledge that she is a deeply troubled individual, and neither of us have any ill will toward her. He informs her family every time she calls, and I have no issues with him picking up the phone to talk to her in the middle of the night if it means that someone can be made aware of her in-progress self-harm. Again, she is not a bad person and her issues are not of her own making. Her case happens to be particularly extreme - most people with BPD do not even approach this level of inappropriate behaviour - but I cannot deny that it is a source of distress in my life. 

There are two big misconceptions about BPD that I think should be dispelled. The first is the notion that BPD is a “female” problem. While it is true that female diagnoses of BPD outnumber male diagnoses considerably, there are probably a lot of social biases at play. A man who has intense relationships in his early 20s and copes by doing drugs, sleeping around and driving fast is seen as “normal”, or “just blowing off steam”. A woman who behaves the same way is considered mentally ill. Men who present with characteristic symptoms of BPD may instead receive a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, depression or anxiety, due to the notion that BPD is only a female problem. Women who have symptoms of Bipolar Disorder, depression or anxiety may be diagnosed with BPD. People tend to see what they expect to see, and many clinicians expect to see lots of women with BPD. 

The other misconception I want to dispel is that idea that BPD never gets better. It is the most treatable of the personality disorders, and most people with the condition see at least some improvement after their mid- to late twenties. Therapy and medication can help treat the symptoms to make life and relationships more manageable, and people with BPD who receive proper treatment can even achieve full remission of their disorder. This is a difficult disorder, but it is not a life sentence, and it should never be assumed that people who have this disorder are going to be this way forever. Hope and treatment are out there. 

Hope this answers your question! 

[micropenisunveiled-blog]

SPH & COMING OUT OF THE SMALL PENIS CLOSET

It is safe to say that most men who have a small penis have thought about whether or not to keep it secret or spill the beans.  Coming out of the Small Dick Closet is a decision that each individual must make for himself.  Quite honestly it is not safe for all gay men to come out of the closet.  Similarly once you disclose that you have  small penis that information has a tendency to become known.   

For some men, fantasizing about being outed becomes the stuff of a fetish.  I find the topic of Small Penis Humiliation (SPH) quite interesting. Certainly not all men with small penises have  desire to be teased or humiliated, but there is a very real portion of the small penis population that seem to enjoy it.  Based on conversations I have had with such men the SPH fetish seems to begin with the onset of adulthood.  I have received a number of personal emails on this subject, from some men who are really turned on by this dynamic.  This is a topic worthy of serious consideration for that group of men who enjoy teasing and outing.  Despite my attempts to research this topic I have found very little in the way of research into the dynamics of this particular fetish.

Why Do Men Enjoy SPH? While I have found no scientific studies about this phenomenon, my own inquiries have revealed than in every case, the men with this fetish had experienced fairly significant ridicule, humiliation, or other abuse connected to their smaller endowment during childhood or their teenage years.

I have spoken with several men who have told me that their SPH fetish began for them in their teens, during gym class. They generally had experiences with boys in gym pointing and laughing.  in some cases they were ridiculed by girls who had learned of their endowment from indiscrete peers.  One man told me that a peer touched him, forced him to touch the other boy’s penis, made him masturbate, and called him queer. 

While this is a terrible testament to the cruelty of teenagers, the men I spoke with grew past it. However, in coping with these experiences of ridicule, they began associating small penises with humiliation, and eventually with sexual pleasure. Since many, many people enjoy humiliation or degradation play as part of BDSM, I can see how this would make sense.

Most of us who live with a small penis spent some period in our lives diligently covering it up.  Some men forgo participation in high school sports, remain chaste, refuse to change in public facilities,  or otherwise work to keep their little secret just that, a secret.  For those of us who have been outed--by family, girlfriends, boyfriends, team mates, school friends, etc. the consequences can be debilitating.  

Do Men Subject to SPH Get Their Feelings Hurt?

Of the men I have spoken with, they all told me that it had hurt their feelings at first, but over the years they eventually they grew immune to it. One said he just realized he couldn't help it, as he could his weight or his hair color, and decided not to worry about it but enjoy getting the SPH attention he craved. 

My Own Outing!

When I was outed in my sophomore year at school by bullies on a sports team, by shoving me out of the locker room naked into a gym full of other students, the three bullies got suspension for three days, but I served the life sentence.  Basically the beans got spilled and my secret became common knowledge.  I became an instant pariah, an object of ridicule, and social outcaste.  Former friends avoided me because they didn’t want to be associated with me and become ridiculed themselves.  Even my brother had a tantrum telling me that he wished he weren’t my brother because people assumed he also possessed a smaller endowment.  So the consequences of an actual, real life outing, can be ego shattering.  I never really recovered my social standing in school as there was always some bully who used my personal characteristics to put me down to build himself up.  Also i had not yet learned how to “shrug off” teasing, and by reacting to it only made matters worse for myself.  That’s the way it works.  

Then Why Come Out Of The Small Penis Closet?

Given the reality of the negative consequences, why is it so arousing for some small endowed guys, to imagine themselves outed.  Part of my theory is that in these cases the smaller endowed man is actually exhibiting some control in the outing process, which he believes in inevitable.  For others the teasing has been linked to sexual activity, a potent reinforcer,  so the fetish has basically been classically conditioned into being.  For others, the actuality of being outed, is actually less anxiety provoking than managing the secret.

In the gay world, men do not come out of the gay closet to enlighten the world, they do it to feel better about themselves.  At some point the gay man realizes that his own self esteem is taking more damage from his closeted status than from anything the world might actually send his way.  

No one has any right to know about the size of your penis except your lover, so outing yourself is truly a personal decision, not a political one.  However, when the truth gets withheld because of a self perception that your penis is shameful or inadequate, then at that point you’re just damaging yourself.  Hiding a truth always most damages the person hiding the truth.

Men with a small penis on some level inherently realize that hiding the truth is not in their best interest and may begin to imaging how they would out themselves.  Imaging these scenarios allows the individual to exert some control in a situation which feels out of control.   So, why does even the mere possibility of it happening excite so many guys?  This is another one of those no “one size fits all” answer.  

So, how is a guy “outed?”

Well, the possibilities are really endless.  Here are a few of the more common ways:

A close girlfriend (or confidant):

This is probably the most common scenario.  Your wife tells her BFF that you have a small penis and requests that she doesn’t tell anyone else.  The wife then tells her small endowed hubby/partner that her BFF knows, and it’s almost like the erotic gift that keeps on giving because from that point forward every time the hubby/partner sees the BFF it provides him with an ongoing source of both excitement and/or angst.

Multiple Girlfriends:

One man I have spoken with told me that he dreamed about being outed by his girlfriend to a group of her friends.  He knew it was just a dream, but it left him feeling very uncomfortable.  And no wonder he woke up uncomfortable, because now, his whole social circle of female friends knows about his secret.  While he might be excited about this happening, and it might provide him an ongoing source of masturbation fodder, the ramifications of such a disclosure would no doubt be far reaching.

A Stranger:

One friend tells me about his girlfriend taking the initiative at a small town drug store to buy condoms, and at the counter asked the pharmacist, ion the presence of other patrons standing nearby “Do you have any small-sized condoms for my boyfriend?”  He told me that he be felt himself blush with embarrassment as everyone turned to look at him and  literally gulped. In this case he was outed by his girlfriend to a stranger in hi small town, where he knew that rumor would get retold.  He heard all of it with his own ears and even saw the expression (probably a smile) on the female clerk’s face.  

What are the risks of being Outed?  

Many guys who expressed they desire to be outed also made it very clear they would want it done in a “controlled” way.  But given human nature there is nothing controlled about the process.  The only way to keep a secret it to keep it to yourself.  Like sending a nude photo of yourself to a friend, you lose all control over it the moment you hit “send”.  You are at the mercy of that friends discretion.  And for the most part, humans are not very discrete.

People like to talk about “scandalous” news.  People do this for many reasons.  When your male friends make fun of your small penis, they are simultaneously casting themselves as “normal” or “endowed” men into a superior caste.  Bullying has always been around, and I suspect it always will.

There are some very real consequences.  Social ostracism, especially if you are in high school, been “perceived” differently by friends in the know, being teased, being ridiculed, sexual discrimination, or just being treated “differently” than how you were treated before.  All of that can happen.

What are the Benefits?  

When gay people began to come out and become recognized as “contributing citizens” and “role models” things began to change.  However things do change slowly.  Most men believe that any penis under 6 inches is “small”, when in fact recent studies have concluded that 5.17 inches in length and 4.6 inches in girth are true “average”.  Statistically is you are average 90% of guys will be between 1.15" shorter or 1.11" longer than you.  For years many men have believed that their 5 1/2inch penis was substandard, when in fact they were well within the biological norm.   As men with small dicks stand up to be counted social norms will begin to change, but again social evolution is a slow process.

So What Can You Do?

Be true to yourself.    Learn to channel your strengths and minimize your focus on your weaknesses.  As much as our popular culture will foist the notion that you are no better than your penis, it just isn’t true.  But now you have to convince other people of that.  The only way to do that is when you believe it yourself.  When you become self confident everything changes.  People stop teasing you and start respecting you.  Confidence, more than any other quality, determines the likelihood of success.  Women identify “confidence” as a key attribute in attractiveness.  

So What If You Enjoy SPH?

Be true to yourself. It is normal to have a fetish.  Assuming it is not harmful, indulge in your fetish.  And while a fetish isn’t harmful, if gets out of hand, it can be trouble. It can drive you and your sex life. Soon, it may also drive away the people close to you. You don’t have to deal with a fetish all your life. Here are a few signs  that a small penis fetish is out of control: 

It’s all you ever think about. 

It makes you lose your concentration, and you start performing poorly at work or school because of it. 

It comes up at random moments. Even when you’re not thinking about anything arousing, it comes to your mind. 

It’s ruining your relationship or preventing you from being in a relationship.

You’re starting to drive your romantic partner crazy because of it, leading to arguments, misunderstandings and awkwardness during sex. 

Some steps you can take to address a fetish are:

Confide in someone

Seek professional help which may include psychoanalysis, cognitive therapy, hypnosis, or 

Stop engaging in the habit (easier said that done, ask anyone in NA,OA or AA).

[cristalknife]

Kadam Week 2021 Day 6 ~ Don’t Bring Me Flowers

This is me trying to not start something on a platform only to post solely somewhere else aka AO3 and ff.net  you can find the complete list of Kadam Week 2021 prompts and you might find more stories on the Kadam Week 2021 AO3 collection

That said, today's prompt is You Don’t Bring Me Flowers

so the summary on ao3 is the following Kurt has a long standing notion about flowers not being the best of ways to convey messages, and a rather morbid way of looking at them.

Adam prefers surrounding himself with living beautiful plant than destroy life for the sake of admiring an ephemeral beauty.

Watching their flower together is something they both find breathtaking. so let me present to you Don’t Bring Me Flowers

(or read on ao3) TW: canon implied suicide attempt (Dave), morbid thoughts (flowers as corpses)

As far as Kurt was concerned flowers were not a romantic gift, they could look pretty in gardens, and while his mom was still alive flowers were often present in his life and in his house.

Flowers were also the perfect elements in fashion accessories or wedding decorations.

They started to lose positive meaning when his mom died, the house was too full of flowers.

Their scent oppressive, too many people that never bothered coming before, suddenly were all over the place.

Demanding attention so they could share their opinions and lighten their consciences, for not being there while his mom was still alive, and could have appreciated the company more than she could now.

When he finally got his first boyfriend, the experience didn't actually help him feeling any different.

The fact was that every single time Blaine wanted Kurt to forgive a transgression, there would be flowers...

The bigger the transgression, the more expensive the bouquet and the more publicly it was delivered.

So that Kurt would be surrounded by so many of ‘their’ friends, all commenting on the romantic gesture that he would have done anything to make them gush had they be the lucky ones in Kurt’s shoes…

All of their friends agreed on a point though, Blaine Anderson was the most romantic guy in the universe, always bringing Kurt's such beautiful flowers...

‘If only they knew’ was all the unimpressed little voice in his mind, kept playing in repeat for Kurt's benefit...

But he kept quiet. He didn't want to stir more trouble than necessary, and after all it was a small price to pay to have a boyfriend…

Even if it was a bitter pill to swallow, that teenage dreams turned out to be not so Mr dreamy after all...

His dad had always told him love was full of compromising, that they were supposed to work together. Like a beautiful car made of different parts, all of which needed to work properly and keep the harmony.

And when Blaine went out of his way to ruin what was already a terrible senior year.

Stealing one of the last opportunity Kurt had to shine, or at least to have a pertinent line in his cv to attend his dream school. Well in that moment he didn't feel at all bad for the pettiness of giving Blaine a bouquet expressing exactly how disappointed, betrayed and pissed off he was at him...

He delivered his concealed message with a smile. And when Blaine didn't react at all, as one should have expected from someone who boosted to love romantic gestures and knowing the language of flowers…

And had done so for ages…

At that moment Kurt started to wonder exactly just how many things he had been lied to...

After the rather touching, and feeling increasingly fake speech, from Blaine, Kurt fluttered his eyelashes and commented softly "You really like them? I got some help from the florist to express my feelings for you, did she get them right?"

Blaine had looked at him nodding and smiling brightly as he said "Of course she did, I can see all the pride love and support they express, you always surprise me, you always zig when I think you're about to zag.”

And as soon as the words left Blaine's mouth the seed of doubt that was planted at Dalton.

And nurtured by the arrival of Sebastian Smythe and their night at Scandal.

What had started as a small seed had finally grown into a mature plant almost ready to bloom.

It wouldn't be until Valentine day, after being romanced, by the last person Kurt had ever expected, for a whole week.

A collection of cards and small thoughtful tokens that led to a surprising love declaration, by no other than Dave Karofsky.

The one reformed bully, who had been one of the main reasons why Kurt's path ever met Blaine's.

The single red rose and box of candies was exactly the kind of valentine surprise Kurt dreamed of… When he was still in first grade, his mom was still around, and flowers were still something to cherish.

On that day, after having to reject a guy who had tried harder than his own boyfriend, and managed the feat, to make Kurt feel loved and appreciated, despite their shared history…

Dave had said honestly "I've wanted to call you since that night at Scandals, and, look, it's taken me a while, but for the first time in my life, I'm trying to be honest about what I feel."

And that little bud of doubt growing inside Kurt's mind was starting to open its petal and bloom.

Because Kurt knew, he knew that Dave, who still wasn't out at his own school.

Dave, who was taking baby steps hanging out at a gay club and feeling comfortable there, in a way Kurt himself hadn't been able to do.

Dave was here, on valentine day, with the gorilla suit in which he personally delivered every bit of romance Kurt had been dreaming about.

Dave was sitting with him, in the middle of the renamed Sugar Shack, still the one central hot spot for date nights in Lima, confessing openly his feelings for Kurt.

Despite starting to believe that love was capable of making people do crazy things, Kurt knew it was unlikely that Dave had risked so much, put himself so openly out there without a good reason...

And the only good reason that Kurt's mind kept whispering like a gentle breeze caressing the still closed petals of that blooming flower called doubt, was that Dave must have thought he had an honest to God shot.

A short to either be accepted or rejected on his own merits.

Suspicion that added nourishment for that flowering sensation.

Suspicion that had a non verbal confirmation, when the only answer Kurt could offer to Dave was a flat and almost sounding unconvinced, even to his own ears "I'm with Blaine, the only thing I can offer you is friendship if that's enough, but I'd understand if it's not."

Dave was devastated, but once more he acted in a way that Kurt knew deep down Blaine never did and never would.

Dave stood there, crushed, doubt crossing his face for a moment before he nodded with a strained smile "I'll take what I can, I hope you'll like the candies, the butterscotch ones are my favourite."

And with that, as consequences of one of the most truly romantic gestures Kurt received, Dave's life crumbled around him...

And Kurt found himself once more in a hospital room looking like all the tristate area florists had barfed in it all the flowers they had.

Flowers that were supposedly symbols of love and care, that came as way too little and way too late for it to be but anything else paltry pleasantries and social niceties.

Dying flowers, that tried to mask with their sweet perfume, the bitter antiseptic scent typical of a hospital.

Despite Kurt's beliefs that flowers were never bringers of good news, his complete loathing for the practice truly solidified when he finally managed to move to New York, got a job in which he was starting to settle.

Only for Blaine to throw him the last curveball Kurt would ever accept for the sole sake of having a boyfriend.

A surprise visit, with the largest bouquet of red roses and baby breath.

It had taken Kurt a whole evening of prodding, to finally have Blaine confess he had cheated on him.

After that night, it took Kurt months to stop feeling sick as soon as the scent of roses reached him.

Feat rendered even more difficult by the fact that even after Kurt rightfully reached his breaking point and ended things with Blaine permanently, that cheating bastard started spending a fortune sending him flowers at the office...

If he had that much laying there, and he really missed Kurt so much that h felt the need to fell onto a stranger’s dick, couldn't have Blaine spent all those bucks into, oh Kurt didn’t know, something like a train or a plane ticket to New York and visit before cheating?

The amount and constant flow of flowery offers were making Kurt's desk looking like a florist's promotional window.

Other than giving him a seriously annoying stress headache, and yet another reason to hate receiving flowers...

Which on some days, when he was laying in bed thinking about Nyada and his future as an actor, made him very glad that it was mostly female actresses to whom flowers were sent.

And he was pretty sure that by the time he'd made enough of a name for himself, for it to even be something to think about, he probably would have already gained the reputation of someone preferring other kinds of well wishing tokens.

On the brighter side of things, Vogue had been Kurt's safe heaven.

Chase seeing the overboard floral composition had commented easily "Someone out there is either seriously crushing on you or seriously trying to make up for something. I wonder which is it, and I'm here if you want to talk about it..."

Kurt's smile had been tight as he answered honestly "The latter… And there's not much to talk about unless you know a way to stop this madness, all those flowers are giving me a terrible headache."

And like a knight in shimmery grey Prada suit Chase said "You can leave a message down to security with the list of people you won't accept things from, that way anything that arrives sent from them will be returned to the sender."

Finally with a blocked number, few blocked social media connections, and a couple of words left downstairs, Kurt's life in New York was free of suffocating flowers’ corpses.

The way Kurt made his way into Nyada and through his first week of class was surprising, but not as astonishing as finding out how different things were, when he wasn't the only one doing the chasing.

Meeting Adam had been, surprising but also refreshing, There Brit was the first ray of sunshine after the darkness of the winter months, wrapped in the fresh ocean breeze of a summer day. A pleasantly warm and welcoming presence.

Adam had made it rather clear from the very beginning that he was interested.

But he also allowed Kurt to decide whether taking any step, at all or leading in choosing the pace, simply happy to be in Kurt's life even just as a friend...

Desperate Blaine had moved on recruiting those who used to be mutual friends, who turned out to be just Blainers, to pass on messages, apologies and reminders of all the romantic gestures Blaine did for Kurt, hoping for their reunion.

Which instigated the Second Great Purge in Kurt's life.

After sending a public message on all his socials, that he had a new boyfriend and anyone bothering him mentioning his ex, offering information when they were not requested, would find themselves promptly just as blocked as Blaine was.

Finn's reaction to that message had been a single sunflower emoji followed by a smiley face and a thumb up.

And for the first time in over a decade, the corner of Kurt's mouth twitched upwards at its sight…

Adam had always loved plants, especially in the springs, when the flowers changed the countryside into a buzzing blurry of colours.

It had always fascinated him seeing how tiny green buds would open up, to reveal so many bright brilliant colours and wonderfully different scents.

Maybe it was because he grew up on the outskirts of Essex's suburb, where the distance from the beautiful view allowed him to be exposed to the constant changing, happening in the natural world during the spring and summer months.

Maybe it was the fact that his grandparents had a delightful cottage in the countryside, that allowed Adam the chance to appreciate how flowers in the ground, or even on a pot, lasted way longer than cut flowers.

Maybe it was also because both his father and grandfather were beekeepers, and they had taught him how much bees were indispensable for everyone's life.

How even removing a single flower, could mean more fatigue for the small insects, and consequentially endangering their colony.

So Adam had never thought about cutting short the life of a flower, not for the mere sake of just admiring it for a couple of days.

Especially not when he could instead take home a small plant, care for it and enjoy the flowers for longer.

And when his first boyfriend called him weird, and cruelly mocked him for preferring such practice.

Adam's first reaction, after dumping the unfeeling jerk, had been crying.

Only to be consoled by his nana's wisdom

"Adam darling, I know you're hurt now, but think of the bright side.

Now you know that the man right for you is going to be someone who could appreciate the beauty of the world, without feeling the need to temporary own it only to end up destroying it.

He's going to be a young man able to walk with you through a botanical park, and see that amongst all that beauty surrounding you, the happiness shining in your eyes is the most precious.

And that he will know that he is the luckiest of men for already holding your hand in his."

That speech etched indelibly into a fourteen year's old Adam mind, who took it heart and for years afterwards, he searched for someone who could live up to the dreamy picture those words painted for him.

The American's way of life was different, neither especially good nor especially bad, just not what Adam grew up with.

New York was big, and on certain days it felt too stuffy, with so much concrete around, but there were beautiful green oasis, and precious gems that could be found and be treasured.

It took him quite a while, and few failed attempts, to find out someone who had the potential to be all the things his nana had said he could find all those years ago.

Kurt was fascinating from afar, and simply breathtaking upon closer look.

He had the resilience and beauty of a willow tree. Looking deceptively frail while being at his strongest, bending but not breaking.

And given enough care and time he would become even stronger, beautiful, and with the kind of plentiful beautiful flowers that could be appreciated in all their beauty, solely by admiring them on the living plant.

There hadn't been yet an occasion that would have traditionally warranted the exchange of flowers, so that was a subject they had yet to touch.

Which it was why Adam found himself pretty confused when he got set aside first by Rachel "Look I get you and Kurt are still new, and you are a good guy and I like you, Especially because I'm grateful you defended Brody when Santana was being so unreasonable. So I'm going to tell you this.

You might not know it but Klaine set up pretty high standard of romance, and I don't want to see you fail, Kurt used to get so many bouquets that some of us girls were pretty envious of it. So yeah think about that, maybe a flower or two wouldn't be amiss next time you come around..."

Funny thing that he discovered about Kurt's friends, was that basically all the ones he had met this far, didn't even have the need of him making more than a couple of sounds, sometimes not even a whole word, to have a whole conversation with him...

On certain days, Adam wondered if the fact that instead, while he was alone with Kurt, they had long alternating conversations, with intermissions of comfortable silences, was a good or a bad sign.

Everything he had been told about Kurt, by those who claimed to love him and be his friends, was in stark contrast to all he was when they were together and around their common friends...

During his darkest days, Adam wondered instead which one was the real Kurt, and which one was a distorted reflection created to please others.

The mere notion that both existed was a chilling nail stuck in his heart.

When Santana came to him to tell him "Look Doctor Who, I don't like people, but I can see he is different with you, a good different.

Do yourself and Lady Hummel a favour. Stop listening to the garbage getting out of the midget's mouth and do you.

If there is one thing I know is that you just need to watch him closely to tell whether he's guarded or not.

As friendly as he can appear to be, he keeps his cards close to the vest that one.

Blargh, this talk is making me disgustingly soft, so bottom line is you should totally tap that fine ass and make Auntie Snixx proud.

Now off you go. Go do what disgustingly sweet gay men do to each other… Pick up flowers, smooch, whatever… Just keep him in your bed instead of sending him back all sparkling and having rainbows and flower fall from his mouth every other word...

I want to have a night or tree in a real bed instead of the pullover, so he needs to be away for few days, capisce?"

Adam wasn't totally sure whether it was solely a self serving suggestion, or if it was an indication that Kurt did need a break from how things were in the loft.

But he guessed this was a time as good as any to take Kurt into one of his favourite places in New York.

And see whether or not he might be the one Adam had been looking for.

He wasn't fourteen anymore, of course it would be a disappointment, but it wouldn't be such a deal breaker if they could talk it out and respect each other’s standing on the matter.

Then again Kurt this far had been strangely silent on the subject of exchanging flowers, so Adam held a little bit of hope that it was a good sign...

Another thing he picked up from the bizarre stories he heard about Kurt's high school glee club, was the cutesy detail of insisting on creating a single 'ship' name for the couples. Mixing together parts of their names, and creating a new one representing two.

Adam had found out recently something that Kurt could appreciate, or at least smile about it.

As they walked through the path amongst the flowers, he could see a slight tension in Kurt’s body that wasn't passing as they kept on walking.

Knowing how Kurt had a lot more difficulties expressing what he wanted, at least at the beginning of their relationship, Adam asked a little worried

"If this is not of your liking or you have allergies will you please let me know? I want our time together to be enjoyable for the both of us…"

Kurt's soft smile and gentle kiss, was making him understand perfectly the sentiment behind his nana's words.

For he was feeling extremely lucky in having Kurt's hand in his right now.

And what Kurt said next, felt like the gentle breeze carrying cherries’ blossoms’ petals, a beautiful sign of changes to come.

"I like this very much. And even if I had not enjoyed the garden, which mind you is not the case.

Seeing you coming alive as you tell me more of all we see around us, seeing your enthusiasm and obvious love for the subject.

That would be more than enough to make this an enjoyable experience. Luckily, as far as I know I don't have any allergies, so if we find one, it'll be an unwelcome surprise for the both of us"

Adam chuckled softly at the last quip of humour Kurt offered, and in a spur of the moment decision Adam took Kurt to the tropical part of the gardens, until they were standing in front of a tree grinning mischievously

"This tree is called bur flower tree, but locally in the South and Southeastern Asia, its name is Kadam.

Right now it’s too early to see its flowers, they won’t bloom till late Summer, and they will continue to bloom till early Winter.

But when their times arrive, their scent is sweet and their globular heads are golden in colour and about two inches in diameter… I’ve seen them and I believe they are a sight to behold”

Kurt had stopped looking at the tree to look at Adam in the eyes as soon as the word Kadam had left his lips.

While Klaine Kurt, had been nothing more than an afterthought, the first in line to be thrown under the bus to allow space in the spotlight for Blaine.

The reverence with which Adam spoke of Kadam, made Kurt feel like he would be put first above all others, above Adam himself…

And for the first time, Kurt was wishing to see and smell this flower that promised to be as precious as the man holding his hand.

Longing was tinting Kurt’s voice as he asked tentatively “When the time is right, will you take me back to see those flowers?”

Adam’s smile softened as he nodded “I will take you to see our golden globes when the time is right.”

As it happened life had a way of getting in the way. It had kept them busy, on a late fall afternoon, after a week that had them both in frustrated tears, due to their schedules continuously shifting always out of sync, allowing them little to no time to spend together.

Adam sent Kurt a text that said 'I think it's time for us to see our personal golden globes, what say you?'

Kurt's answer was almost instantaneous 'Let's go'

Even before they reached their tree, the sweet scent of its blooms could be perceived in the air.

Contrary to Kurt's fears it was neither oppressive nor overwhelming…

Once they stood in front of their tree Kurt looked appreciatively at their aesthetic.

The flowers were as beautiful as Adam had promised, squeezing Adam’s hand in his he leaned on the side, letting their arms touch as he rested his head on Adam’s shoulder.

With the first smile, a flower brought to his face in what felt like forever, stretching his lips he said “I think I love those flowers”

Adam placed a gentle kiss on Kurt’s head and said softly “You know right that in here they are protected and cannot be picked?”

Kurt chuckled softly and continued serene “That’s part of their charm, no one is allowed to go and break them apart, and force them to have no other thing to do but die”

Despite Kurt’s morbid way of looking at it the message reaching Adam’s ears was more hopeful than it might have seemed.

So he continued his questioning with a grin “So you simply don’t like flowers or there’s something more to it?”

Kurt hummed softly trying to count how many flowers he saw before getting lost in Adam’s words again…

“I like flowers just fine, I simply don’t like to surround myself with dying things that I will have to dispose of within a couple of days.”

Adam smiled and kissed Kurt properly, enjoying how his boyfriend was finally relaxed in his arms.

And then he said reassuringly “It’s ok darling, I prefer plants as whole myself. When we’ll end up going back to the UK to visit my folks, I’m going to take you to my grandpa's cottage. I bet the flowers I can show you there, while not as exotic as this one, will still be just as breathtaking as you are.”

Kurt nuzzled his cheek against Adam’s and then turned back to look at their flower

“I’m sure they are going to be just as breathtaking as this moment, because you’ll be there sharing them with me.”

~The End~

[gusticeleague]

Rest and Rick-laxation review

Man, can we just take a second to appreciate Justin Roiland’s voice work here? Not only does he have to do three versions of two characters each, he has to take them to their absolute vocal limit. That entire scene of them sitting in the UFO must have been hell on his throat. 

So Rick and Morty decide to take a vacation at an alien spa, and as a result of an alien sauna...thing end up splitting off into two distinct selves. Which, if I’m parsing this correctly, represent the qualities they value about themselves or most wish to be (henceforth dubbed Healthy Rick and Healthy Morty) and the qualities they think are problems or that they view as toxic (henceforth Toxic Rick and Toxic Morty), as exemplified by their sickening, snot-like composition. It’s a pretty clever conceit for some character study, but the twist that the Detoxifier operates on a subjective notion of what each of the pair define as “toxic” about themselves becomes frustrating to parse if you look at it too closely.

Morty’s arc is pretty easy, given that it’s really his episode here. He starts off wanting to stop adventuring for a while so he can enjoy his high school years, even if they’ll be spent being too nervous and awkward to ask out his crush. After Rick admits that they need a break after the six week long Abadongo Cluster excursion and his subsequent detoxification, he’s split from all the insecurities that were “holding him back” and is left as a cool, affable smooth operator who doesn’t have to constantly work through his nerves and self-loathing to do anything. Of course, this is through the lens of what a 14 year old boy thinks a “healthy” self should be, which is basically a poster child for toxic masculinity — an ”alpha male” for whom emotions are merely performative actions to manipulate women into dating him, which is a really brilliant move to incorporate that idea on the writer’s part given the kind of fanbase Rick and Morty has garnered. It’s telling that the first thing a female friend messaged me halfway into watching the episode was “Detoxed Morty makes me so fucking uncomfortable” while it took me, an slightly oblivious straight male, until Morty literally said “red pill or blue pill” to get the point. And the end, he decides that living as a miserable, nervous teenager having to work through his issues is better than climbing to success and having no ability to appreciate it. So from that point of view, the subjectivity conceit works well. Where it gets a little fuzzier is with Rick.

Toxic Rick warrants little explanation if you’ve seen the episode, or really any episode of the show. His healthy self even gives a laundry list of the attributes he’s meant to represent. But it’s a bit unclear as to what “Healthy Rick” is really meant to represent, leaving this episode fairly lopsided in terms what we’re meant to take away from it.

The main inconsistency here to people is that Healthy Rick states that he’s “proud to be [Morty’s] grandfather” at the beginning, while he sees his “irrational attachment” to Morty is in his toxic self. While I don’t completely disagree with that complaint, I’ve been doing my best to surmise Healthy Rick’s attributes to keep the episode narratively consistent in my head. And the best I can come up with is this:

After Healthy Rick laughs at his toxic self showing concern for Toxic Morty and trying his best to deny it, we get this exchange:

Toxic Rick: “You think that’s funny? Healthy Rick: “You’ve got to have a sense of humour about these things! Oh wait, you can’t. You’re literally incapable of seeing the bigger picture. I guess it’s just funny because you’ve never done anything but complain about me being in charge, but if I ever gave you the wheel, we’d be dead in five minutes...You poor dumb sick animal.”

If we’re to compare this to Morty and his arc in this episode, it’s pretty clearly set up that Morty wants to go on a date with Jessica, and his toxic qualities are the things getting in the way of that goal. Rick, on the other hand, doesn’t really have much of an arc here, instead facilitating the re-merging aspect of the plot. But if you consider Rick’s character and his usual goals of traversing the multiverse for his own gain and numbing himself of the consequences, the qualities that help him succeed at that are the things that his Healthy self insults his Toxic self for lacking. And when his toxic side does take the wheel..well, the show probably would have ended at Auto-Erotic Assimilation had he not passed out halfway through his suicide attempt.

Rick knows the grand scope of the huge amoral universe his genius has opened up to him, has calculated his frame of mind to operate well within it and being able to laugh off his mistakes and not stopping to dwell on them, even if they have world-ending consequences. Having a grasp of the “bigger picture” and having a sense of humour, given the world he inhabits and the goals he has is a pretty healthy view of things, at least in his mind. This extends to his view of other people. As he explains to Jaguar in Pickle Rick, his infinite scope of reference precludes the idea of attachment. So he can probably feel sentimental towards Morty as a grandson, but as an entity in the grand cosmic scope of things, he’s pretty disposable. Having an attachment to him beyond “grandson” and “sidekick” is irrational in his mind, and therefore toxic, because it interferes with his work. “Need” is a strong word, after all. He needs a doorstop, but a brick will do, and Morty is his most readily available brick.

While I appreciate the overall point that Rest and Rick-laxation is making, especially with regards to Morty’s arc (anyone find themselves thinking about what their own toxic/healthy selves would be?), the show has done character studies like this before and done them better, namely with Pickle Rick and the mythologues from Big Trouble in Little Sanchez. It’s still a decent episode, but since the whole season has been a character study in one way or another, it would be nice to have, I don’t know, a vacation from it.

Happy Labour Day, America!

Episode MVP: It was nice to actually get a glimpse at Jessica’s character rather than have her just be a focus of Morty’s obsessions. Plus she was pretty integral to the plot and Morty’s arc. I’m giving this one to her.

Favourite bit character: While AWESOME, the Voltron made of drones doesn’t count as a character in my mind, so this goes to the children’s entertainer yelling that Santa Claus is a lie and all the kids at the party were mistakes. May he rest in peace.

Best joke: Everything in the fight between the two Ricks using hidden weapons around the house to tear into each other. I especially loved the attack dog alien that grows with praise.

Final Rating: 12 out of 15 and a half grapples.

[seyaryminamoto]

I recently saw a heavy criticism of The Beach saying "it's the single least realistic portrayal of teenagers on television: spoiled, rich kids don't actively shun Zuko for having a disfiguring scar on his face, no one tries to start shit with Azula over the volleyball game, teenagers referring to themselves as teenagers, a teen boy tells people not to make a mess, a bunch of 14-16 year-olds sit in a circle and psychoanalyze each other, everything else about the campfire scene." Your thoughts?

:’) that someone looks at the Beach and dismisses it for being “unrealistic” by whatever their cultural standards are is probably enough of a sign of the irrelevance of said person’s opinion. I mean, obviously they’re free to think what they will, but...

Fire Nation society is not American society. I’m going blind here, maybe this person isn’t American at all, but somehow I mostly see such kinds of narrow-minded criticism from first-worlders who are seldom exposed to lifestyles outside their particular, contemporary bubble of experiences. 

Now then, let’s get into the actual debate: Fire Nation society values violence quite a lot. Fire Nation society is full of people who saw Zuko’s literal Agni Kai burning scene, and didn’t look away: the only character who does is Iroh, a very obvious hint by the writers that Iroh has discarded the cruel moral values the rest of the Fire Nation upholds.

With this in mind, a boy with a scarred face might earn all sorts of “ews” from our societies, damn right. From Fire Nation society, though? If even watching how the burn is inflicted didn’t bother most of them, why would the result be a problem? If anything, I wouldn’t be surprised if people with burn scars are even seen more attractive because it implies they were caught in violent scuffles with fire and still survived? Of course, the argument might go that Zuko’s burn is meant to be a mark of shame... but it’s a mark of shame for PRINCE Zuko. For that mysterious boy with the emo haircut in Ember Island, whose real identity is a mystery? It is shown, instead, to result in this reaction:

Now then, we could say that this is meant to be a jab by the creators and writers at Zuko’s hordes of fangirls, because frankly, Book 3 has several instances of groups of girls swooning over Zuko and it might be what they were going for. In this case, though, they’re swooning over him WITHOUT knowing who he is, as opposed to the fangirls in Nightmares and Daydreams. So, while it absolutely can be inspired on the many Zuko fangirls the staff knew about, this actually ends up serving to characterize a society, a culture: they don’t think his scar makes him unattractive. It’s blatantly stated that their reaction is the opposite. So, instead of thinking “oh god that’s so unrealistic”, how about we actually stop trying to measure everything by our standards and consider that this could be an element of WORLDBUILDING...? :’)

(Also, I’m pretty sure there’s a fair share of privileged young women in our current society who think Kylo Ren was hot as hell with a huge scar across his face... are those people not real, by any chance? :’D If anything, they’re living proof that girls swooning over a scarred boy in ATLA are absolutely feasible, no matter if not everyone shares their opinion)

Continues under the cut becasue this got long....

Now then, Azula is shown to take the Kuai ball game too far. She outright causes the ball, in the final kick, to burst into flames and burns the net. Going by Chan and Ruon Jian, these kids are privileged idiots, why lie... but are these privileged idiots stupid enough to see a girl flying three feet into the air, kicking a firebent ball and then giving a foreboding speech, and say “OKAY WE’RE GONNA PICK A FIGHT WITH YOU FOR BEING SO COMPETITIVE!”???? I mean... honestly. Why would anyone do this? Azula turned an inoffensive Kuai ball game into a battlefield singlehandedly: THIS, as well, is meant to be a display of characterization. That people don’t take the game so seriously, that they wouldn’t pick a fight with her because she’s dangerous or because they just don’t care as much as she does... it’s characterizing Fire Nation people every bit as much as it characterizes Azula.

Azula and Zuko are both shown reacting in ridiculous ways to casual things in this episode: Azula takes the game too far, potentially stages the burning down of a house in retaliation for being rejected by a boy, Zuko is hysterical and jealous and snaps at Mai over stupid things... it’s, again, a matter of showing how poorly adjusted these characters are. They’re not normal kids. They DON’T behave like normal kids. Normal, privileged kids in the Fire Nation, are kids like Chan and Ruon Jian. The episode literally gives you the chance to see Fire Nation society for what it is, in a way no other episode does... and because it’s not like our societies, it’s somehow wrong?

... Also, teenagers referring to themselves as teenagers is somehow unrealistic? I mean... is it nowadays? I don’t think any teenagers had a problem with saying they were teens in my youth :’DDD literally remember MCR released a song called Teenagers and a lot of us loved it to pieces. What exactly is so outrageous about it? Might be that this worked better in the mid-00′s, but I hardly think this makes no sense? Aang refers to himself as a kid earlier in the show, is that unrealistic too and worth rebuking a whole episode over? Are all teenagers supposed to be pretending to be grown-ups, like so many 16-year-olds on Tumblr who always talk like they’ve figured out the world and try to impose rules on fully-grown adults upon whom they have absolutely no power? :’DDDDD Yeah, I think this particular point is a stupid thing to make a fuss over. Honestly, it is.

Chan tells people not to make a mess = unrealistic. Ha. Did this person ignore his reactions at the chaos Azula, Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee caused in his house? “YOU BROKE MY NANA’S VASE!!!”, anyone? Like... I’m sorry, but this IS characterization, yet again! This shows Chan is a spoiled brat who wants to stay in his family’s good graces. The party isn’t at all as crazy and wild as you’d expect from, again, an American teenage party... and why? Because, for one thing, Chan is clearly afraid of the consequences of too much chaos in the beach house: this implies fear of authority, of his parents, perhaps even his grandparents. 

For another, again, FIRE NATION SOCIETY: what does this clever critic know, by any chance, of Nazi Germany’s Hitler Youth? I’ve watched a few documentaries about it, and basically if you were a boy and you weren’t in Hitler Youth, you were no one. You were worthless. And what happened in Hitler Youth? Conditioning to the extreme. These kids were taught all the alt-right ideology that Tumblr despises, and they were made to believe it was an undeniable reality. Were there cases of kids who didn’t like it, kids who didn’t approve of it? Surely. But the general idea of Hitler Youth was to educate every kid to behave in the way Hitler considered appropriate, to the point where “the notion "Germany must live" even if they (members of the HJ) had to die was "hammered" into them.”

This is, of course, an extreme example and I’m sure Fire Nation education wasn’t that extreme because we saw it for ourselves, it’s not. But a slightly milder version of it? That’s absolutely feasible and consistent with what we see in The Headband. Therefore, kids getting high and drunk at a party? Maybe that kind of thing simply DOESN’T happen in a Fire Nation party? :’) Maybe they’re taught that those kinds of things are off-limits to anyone under a certain age (or outright forbidden, might be the case with drugs), and as they live in a tyrannical society that priorizes the Fire Lord and his decrees above all else, where his word is treated as that of a god, even mischievous teenagers refuse to act out? :’D oh, what an implausible concept, this just can’t possibly make any sense! Hitler Youth is unrealistic too!

Lastly, that a bunch of kids would sit in a circle psychoanalyzing each other seems implausible to this person is actually laughable for me. Not only have I constantly found myself, from my early teenage years to current days, serving as some sort of unofficial therapist for many of my friends, who share their woes and ask me for advice (whether they’ll heed it or not), most importantly, I once had an experience with a friend, back in high school, much like what happens with these kids in The Beach, after I’d spent years doing a lot of post-depression introspection. I shared a lot of stuff I didn’t often talk about, and beats me WHY I felt completely comfortable sharing it with my friend that day, but I did. She understood me, listened, offered her opinion, and we talked about her problems too. This happened when I was 15-16. If this person has never experienced such situation... why, that’s not anyone’s business. But it’s certainly not their business to determine this just DOESN’T happen, to anyone, ever. I can safely say it does, to people who do have problems and who sometimes just need a friendly shoulder to rely on. Maybe this critic’s life is just so perfect they’ve never had to share their woes with anyone else :’) I’m afraid that doesn’t invalidate those of us who are different, and it doesn’t invalidate the possibility that those four could talk, as they did, without breaking characterization, in the scene of the fireplace at the beach.

ANYWAYS...

Saying that a show about a group of kids who save the world and then effectively become leaders of such world, facing very little opposition in the process, is unrealistic because “teenagers aren’t like that becuase I wasn’t like that as a teenager” may be one of the most ridiculous and shortsighted things I’ve seen in this fandom, AND I’VE SEEN A LOT OF RIDICULOUS AND SHORTSIGHTED THINGS. A person’s experiences are NOT universal, regardless of how widespread their culture may be. More importantly, fiction does NOT have to abide by rules established by our current society’s state and cultural values. ATLA, as it is, is a completely different world from our own, regardless of its inspiration in many Asian cultures.

I, personally, find it a lot more unrealistic that Fire Lord Zuko can become Fire Lord without much in the way of visible protesting or boycotting when he was a banished prince who didn’t even win in his Agni Kai against Azula since it’s Katara who ends up defeating her and, as far as the rules go, Azula technically won even if not in the most dignified of ways. I find it even more unrealistic that LOK tells us Zuko was Fire Lord successfully for 70+ years and the Fire Nation has been fully reformed into a non-warmongering country despite the 100+ years of indoctrination started by Sozin’s rule. That this gets swept under a rug, not only in the neatly wrapped finale that leaves a thousand unanswered questions, but in the sequel show that merely confirms Zuko succeeded and shows NOTHING of how he managed to reform such a fucked up society...? That is a thousand times more important to me than “privileged kids aren’t acting like privileged kids OMG!”. Honestly, you want privileged kids abusing all their privileges in our society? Go watch Gossip Girl, I genuinely recommend it. You want something that proposes a completely different possibility and a glance at what a society guided by a tyrannical dictator looks like? Feel free to watch The Beach again with a completely different focus and MAYBE you’ll understand what the writers were going for.

If this person happens to see my answer, I hope they learn that worldbuilding, for a storyteller, entails CREATING a world that isn’t necessarily like the one we’re familiar with. There are multiple layers to such a world, and society and culture are some of them. Not all cultures and societies work the same way, which is part of why sometimes you’ll find behaviors from people who belong to wholly different cultures and wind up perplexed because whatever they’re doing is completely unfamiliar for you. Are there any universal behaviors in humans? Maybe! But in a work of FICTION, even the most universal of behaviors can be changed, deleted, altered however the writer sees fit! :’D it’s not a novel concept, and as far as logical fallacies are concerned, this show features a whole slew of those that have nothing to do with this peculiar sense of “realism”, fallacies that absolutely can and should be called out. Namely, things that contradict the internal logic of the show, rather than things that are incompatible with OUR world. Portraying a world that’s very different from ours, on virtually every level you can think of? That’s called creativity, not lack of realism. Please learn the difference.

[newstechreviews]

(Miss this week’s The Leadership Brief? This interview above was delivered to the inbox of Leadership Brief subscribers on Sunday morning, Aug. 2; to receive weekly emails of conversations with the world’s top CEOs and business decisionmakers, click here.)

When Chris Kempczinski was appointed CEO of McDonald’s last November, he was replacing a successful but flawed leader. His predecessor, Steve Easterbrook, was credited with revitalizing the global fast-food behemoth; during Easterbrook’s nearly five-year tenure, annual net income grew 33%, to more than $6 billion in 2019, and the company’s stock price doubled. But Easterbrook was fired for having a consensual affair with an employee, a violation of company policies. As if stepping into the top job unexpectedly—Kempczinski had been running McDonald’s USA at the time of his promotion—weren’t challenging enough, he’s spent the bulk of his first year as CEO managing through a global pandemic. While McDonald’s in the U.S. has remained open since COVID-19 hit, the accompanying economic turmoil has taken a toll on business. In addition, some McDonald’s workers have recently gone on strike, protesting the company’s safety procedures, benefits and pay policies.

Just hours after McDonald’s had released what Kempczinski, 51, called possibly the “worst” quarterly results in the history of the company—sales dropped 24%—the CEO joined TIME for a video conversation from his Chicago home. One of the factors that impacted the company’s bottom line for the quarter was 12 million free meals it donated to frontline workers during the pandemic, at a cost of $30 million to $40 million. Kempczinski discussed with TIME how consumer behavior is changing as a result of the pandemic, allegations of sexual harassment at McDonald’s restaurants, and de-escalation training for employees who encounter customers who won’t wear masks.

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This interview with McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski has been edited and condensed for clarity.

What’s your outlook for the public-health picture going forward?

One of the things that we’ve been saying to our team is that until there’s a vaccine that’s been widely distributed, we’re going to be in this period of regional hot spots that keep flaring up. Everything that we’re seeing right now suggests that that is going to be the pattern for probably the next year.

What is the status of your U.S. outlets?

They never shut down. One of the things that happened early on is that the government at the federal level basically denoted which businesses they viewed as essential businesses. McDonald’s and restaurants were deemed an essential business, and as a result, we were allowed to stay open, albeit in most cases with drive-throughs only. So with 95% of our restaurants in the U.S. have a drive-through, the vast, vast majority of our restaurants stay opened.

How has the pandemic affected your breakfast business?

Breakfast has definitely been the most impacted day part. If you think about breakfast, lunch and dinner, breakfast is most susceptible to people not going to work. We did some work, looking at cell-phone data and tracking mobility: what we saw in the mobility data was consistent with what we saw in the restaurant, which is essentially that people moving around was down dramatically in the mornings.

I was surprised to learn how extensive your delivery business is, approaching $4 billion in revenues.

We have a very robust and fast-growing delivery business. Over the last several years, it’s been a significant growth driver for us.

Going forward, will delivery play an increasingly large role in your business?

I think it will. What we’ve seen is, even in markets that kind of get back to quote-unquote a more normal situation, delivery usage tends to stay elevated. And it’s not just unique to restaurants. There’s kind of a macro trend that customers like the convenience of getting delivery at home.

Any other consumer behavior shifts?

The other thing that we’re seeing is the whole notion of contactless is going to be one of the enduring things that stays with us after this pandemic. Whether that is mobile-app usage or using kiosks to do ordering or doing delivery, customers seem to be increasingly preferring service channels that minimize contact with other people. I think that that is something that is going to be enduring.

What do you see the McDonald’s experience looking like in five years?

I think in the U.S., you’re going to continue to see drive-through and delivery be important parts of it. But I don’t think dine-in is going away. I think there’s still this kind of fundamental human need to socialize over food with other people, and so I think that behavior will still exist. It won’t be as pronounced as it was, but it will still be there.

Will you ever build a ball pit again?

There’s probably some good public-health reasons not for us to be doing a lot of ball pits.</span><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">[Laughs.] I don’t know if we’ve got ball pits in our future. There’s probably some good public-health reasons not for us to be doing a lot of ball pits.

You’re requiring masks starting Aug. 1. What are the consequences for not wearing masks? Recently, an employee was assaulted in Oakland, Calif., after asking a customer to put on a mask.

We’re trying to strike a balance here. There’s certainly a public-health need for people to wear masks. There’s also situations out there, [where employees are] having to police the wearing of the mask. We’ve trained all of our restaurants how to handle or de-escalate those types of situations. But ultimately if a customer is not willing to wear a mask, that is where we encourage our crew to call law enforcement and let them deal with it. We don’t want to have our crew being put in a situation where their safety is somehow being put at risk by policing this. But I think the vast, vast majority of the customers out there recognize the importance of wearing masks.

TIME for Learning partnered with Columbia Business School to offer a series of online, on-demand classes on topics like effective leadership, negotiation and customer-centric marketing. To sign up or learn more, click here.

But what does it say about our society that restaurant workers, many of them teenagers, have to be taught de-escalation training?

For a long time, McDonald’s has in our communities played a larger role beyond just serving food. In many cases, we’re the town square. We’re the community center. We’re less comfortable or excited to be a policing entity. We have different times and different places that we get put into situations like that, whether it’s homeless who are trying to use our restaurant as a place to wash up or whatever. Or we have incidences that periodically occur where people have drug overdoses.

The whole parade of humanity.

When you serve 70 million people a day, which is what we do globally, what you tend to see in McDonald’s is what is happening in society at large. And so, we do the best we can with our crew to make sure that they’re able to serve our customers, but ultimately we have to make sure our crew are safe and so we don’t want to be putting them in situations where they’re in harm’s way.

Has the pandemic led to any supply shortages?

One of the things that’s been remarkable for us is through this whole pandemic, we haven’t had a single supply break on food, packaging, cleaning materials, etc., which is pretty extraordinary. In the U.S. in particular, there were some issues, about six weeks ago or two months ago, with beef shortages being of particular concern. I’m happy to tell you, those never impacted us. They impacted some of our competitors. There were industry supply pressures earlier around proteins. Those have let up, and throughout McDonald’s didn’t have any problems with it.

I’m guessing if you’re a McDonald’s supplier you are going to make sure that is one order that gets filled without fail.

We have made a point similar to that on a few different occasions.

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Has there been one menu item that has gained in popularity in recent months?

The surprising thing is that in the pandemic, consumers are gravitating back to our core menu. You’re seeing it in grocery-shopping behavior where these brands that in some cases people have viewed as, years ago I used to eat soup, and now all of a sudden people are eating soup again. You’re seeing a similar desire for trusted favorites … Big Mac, Quarter Pounder, french fries. They’re less willing to be trying new things. They’re less likely to go out there and try some fancy new burger at McDonald’s.

Are you happy with your menu offerings?

Our menu is a very democratic process; whatever the customer wants is what I want on that menu. If it’s not something that the customer wants, it’s not on our menu. I get asked quite often, Why isn’t this on the menu? Why isn’t that on the menu? And my short answer to all of those is because it didn’t sell enough. We are completely agnostic. We will put on whatever sells.

Beyond a hankering for the old favorites, any shifting tastes?

I do think one thing that is a global trend that we’re also seeing in the U.S. is protein consumption is shifting from beef to chicken. We’re paying attention to that in a number of markets again because consumption patterns are changing.

Last year, in fast food, it was the year of the chicken sandwich. But the Washington Post declared you late to the game and was pretty harsh about your offering, calling it “an amalgamation of various spare parts, lying around the company garage.” Snap!

That’s the great thing about working at McDonald’s, you never lack for attention. We always will get different perspectives. But we’re certainly working on ways that we can update and upgrade our chicken offering in the U.S. Suffice to say we will continue to be competing and innovating in chicken. And I’m sure we’ll continue to be getting critiques about how we’re doing.

You’re still working on your chicken-sandwich formulation?

Well, I don’t want to get too into revealing competitive secrets, but I think we are feeling good about where we’re at, and we look forward to bringing the customers some more innovation in chicken.

Given the environmental impact, should people even be eating meat at all?

It’s not our job to tell people what they should or shouldn’t be eating.</span><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Well, that’s a larger question that I think is not for McDonald’s to answer. That’s for consumers to answer. If consumers decide they don’t want to eat meat and they want to eat something else, we’ll serve that. It’s not our job to tell people what they should or shouldn’t be eating.

I understand you’re a marathon runner. How much McDonald’s food is part of your diet?

I eat it five days a week, twice a day. I have it every breakfast and lunch five days a week. I eat a fair bit of McDonald’s. I know my way around the menu pretty well. So I have my days that I’m going to eat healthy, and then I have my cheat days. And the great thing about our menu is you can do both.

What is your healthy go-to order?

If you’re talking breakfast, my healthy go-to order would be getting an Egg McMuffin sandwich with no bacon on it. And I might with that get either a cup of coffee or a small Diet Coke. And that’s typically all I’ll eat for breakfast. Lunch, it could be a salad. It could be our filet of fish with no tartar sauce on it. Double ketchup. Or it could be, if it’s a cheat day, it could be the Quarter Pounder.

The CDC says one-third of Americans are obese and frequent fast-food consumption has been shown to contribute to weight gain. You talk a lot about values. And I know you’re serving customers what they want. But how do you reconcile that with the fact that a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese and a large chocolate shake account for more than three-quarters of total recommended daily caloric intake, heavy on the sodium and saturated fat?

Our philosophy is that it’s ultimately the customer’s choice. We do disclose all of our nutritionals, and so it is prominently featured on the menu. It’s prominently featured on the app if you were to order. Essentially any of our order channels, you can see what the nutritionals are. And then a customer will make those choices that they need. For us, our obligation is to make sure we’re giving the customer all the information that they need, and ultimately they’ll decide what they want to do.

I understand that it’s not an urban myth, that there are specific reasons why Coke does taste better at McDonald’s. Can you tick off a few?

We have a very tight and special relationship with Coke. And it’s in our mutual best interest for us to have the best-tasting Coke in McDonald’s. One of the things that is helpful and why we have such a great-tasting Coke product is because of our volumes. We have in the back of our restaurants these tanks that essentially allow us to have a better mixing process in our restaurants between the syrup and the carbonated water than what someone else is able to do.

And there’s some adjustment of the sweetness to compensate for melting ice?

We have a process with Coke, where we have what we would call a gold-standard product. And we work with Coke to make sure that what is ultimately coming out of the fountain machine and into a customer’s cup reflects the gold standard. And that does entail tweaking, when needed, the sweetness.

Could you talk about how you follow a talented leader who was also very human? How do you approach that? At the town hall after you were named CEO, you talked about how emotional that was for you.

Part of what I tried to do is just to start with being honest with people and authentic. And I didn’t try to wrap it in any kind of corporate speak or euphemisms or anything like that. I mean I tried to just speak pretty openly about how I felt, which was conflicted because on the one hand, I considered Steve a friend. He brought me into the company. He supported me. But on the other hand, Steve made a mistake, and he made a mistake that CEOs shouldn’t be making. So have that trove of emotions that you do in any situation where someone does things that surprise you, disappoint you. Steve was at the company for 20 years. So there were a lot of friendships that were built, but also by the same token, I know there were a lot of people very upset and disappointed.

The Nation just published a detailed article describing a culture of sexual harassment at many McDonald’s outlets. Does McDonald’s have a sexual-harassment problem in the restaurants?

Anytime I hear about one of those situations, it’s disappointing to me because it flies totally in the face of what we stand for as a business. We stand for diversity, inclusion. We want to be a place that everybody feels welcome and that they’re treated based on their abilities and their contribution. Not for anything else.

What’s management’s role in responding?

It’s our job to take action and make sure that whatever were the conditions for the situation that led to that, that we deal with it very quickly. And also part of my obligation as CEO is to set the tone at the top. And I’m spending a lot of time just making sure that people understand my expectations around values. People understand my expectations about speaking up if they see anyone deviating from those values and giving them the confidence that if they do that, they’re going to be protected and that we’re also going to deal with it swiftly. And that’s what I think we have done, and that’s certainly what I’m going to continue to do as CEO.

Can you address the recent employee strikes over sick days, health care, personal protective gear and wages?

I think all of those in light of the pandemic make a ton of sense in that people are very worried about their health. They want to make sure that when they go to work that they’re going to be protected. I don’t think any of us—myself included—want to be in a situation where you’re having to decide between your health and going and getting a paycheck. One of the misconceptions is that somehow or another through this pandemic, McDonald’s workers haven’t been able to get sick pay. The vast, vast majority of our restaurants are offering sick pay to crew working in the restaurants right now. In the vast, vast majority of restaurants, people aren’t having to make that trade-off between safety and getting a paycheck.

And personal protective equipment? Do you feel the company is doing a good job in supplying that to workers?

Yes. We have global safety standards, and one of those is that crew are required to wear PPE in the restaurants. So that’s a face mask, that’s gloves. We ask the crew, and there’s a whole set of procedures around washing hands every hour. And if you look at the infection rate in our restaurants relative to the general population, we typically are better than the general population. So it doesn’t mean that we’re complacent about it. But I think we’re doing a nice job of keeping our crew safe.

One of the first things you did as CEO was change advertising agencies to Wieden + Kennedy. How involved are you in the advertising?

Let me put it this way, my team hopes I’m never involved in the advertising piece. When I’m involved in the advertising, it usually means there’s a problem. Or that something is not maybe as good as it needs to be. So I would say like most things in my job, I’m usually not involved until there’s a problem, and then I get heavily involved.

I’m Interested in those 15-second spots that focus on ingredients with the wonderful Scottish actor Brian Cox from Succession. He doesn’t seem like the most obvious choice for McDonald’s voice-over work.

You’re always trying to find something that is arresting or grabs your attention. That’s always a challenge in advertising. How do you get someone to pay attention? And in many cases, it’s that little bit of that odd juxtaposition that creates interest. To have his voice, which people either unconsciously or consciously know who he is, juxtaposed with the ingredient—there’s something unique and kind of makes you pay attention to that, and that’s why I think it worked.

Your mother was a kindergarten teacher. Do you ever have a bad day and go home and think I basically have the same job?

[Laughs.] That feels like a very dangerous question for me to answer. I would just say that I feel like I have an opportunity to build the future in a very good way for the company. So like my mother as a kindergarten teacher, she’s looking at the future, I feel like my job is to look at the future as well.

KEMPCZINSKI’S FAVORITES

BUSINESS BOOK: Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

AUTHOR: I do love Philip Roth on the serious side. He was a phenomenal, phenomenal writer. My guilty pleasure is tabloid journalism: TMZ, the Daily Mail, Page Six. I can give you the latest and greatest on all the happenings.

EXERCISE: I like sports. I’m good at none of them, but I love all of them.

APP: Outside of the ESPN app, Google Maps is a phenomenal app. I use that one for everything.

Subscribe to The Leadership Brief by clicking here.

[itsfinancethings]

New story in Business from Time: McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski on Changing Consumer Behavior and the Future of Those Ball Pits

(Miss this week’s The Leadership Brief? This interview above was delivered to the inbox of Leadership Brief subscribers on Sunday morning, Aug. 2; to receive weekly emails of conversations with the world’s top CEOs and business decisionmakers, click here.)

When Chris Kempczinski was appointed CEO of McDonald’s last November, he was replacing a successful but flawed leader. His predecessor, Steve Easterbrook, was credited with revitalizing the global fast-food behemoth; during Easterbrook’s nearly five-year tenure, annual net income grew 33%, to more than $6 billion in 2019, and the company’s stock price doubled. But Easterbrook was fired for having a consensual affair with an employee, a violation of company policies. As if stepping into the top job unexpectedly—Kempczinski had been running McDonald’s USA at the time of his promotion—weren’t challenging enough, he’s spent the bulk of his first year as CEO managing through a global pandemic. While McDonald’s in the U.S. has remained open since COVID-19 hit, the accompanying economic turmoil has taken a toll on business. In addition, some McDonald’s workers have recently gone on strike, protesting the company’s safety procedures, benefits and pay policies.

Just hours after McDonald’s had released what Kempczinski, 51, called possibly the “worst” quarterly results in the history of the company—sales dropped 24%—the CEO joined TIME for a video conversation from his Chicago home. One of the factors that impacted the company’s bottom line for the quarter was 12 million free meals it donated to frontline workers during the pandemic, at a cost of $30 million to $40 million. Kempczinski discussed with TIME how consumer behavior is changing as a result of the pandemic, allegations of sexual harassment at McDonald’s restaurants, and de-escalation training for employees who encounter customers who won’t wear masks.

Subscribe to The Leadership Brief by clicking here.

This interview with McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski has been edited and condensed for clarity.

What’s your outlook for the public-health picture going forward?

One of the things that we’ve been saying to our team is that until there’s a vaccine that’s been widely distributed, we’re going to be in this period of regional hot spots that keep flaring up. Everything that we’re seeing right now suggests that that is going to be the pattern for probably the next year.

What is the status of your U.S. outlets?

They never shut down. One of the things that happened early on is that the government at the federal level basically denoted which businesses they viewed as essential businesses. McDonald’s and restaurants were deemed an essential business, and as a result, we were allowed to stay open, albeit in most cases with drive-throughs only. So with 95% of our restaurants in the U.S. have a drive-through, the vast, vast majority of our restaurants stay opened.

How has the pandemic affected your breakfast business?

Breakfast has definitely been the most impacted day part. If you think about breakfast, lunch and dinner, breakfast is most susceptible to people not going to work. We did some work, looking at cell-phone data and tracking mobility: what we saw in the mobility data was consistent with what we saw in the restaurant, which is essentially that people moving around was down dramatically in the mornings.

I was surprised to learn how extensive your delivery business is, approaching $4 billion in revenues.

We have a very robust and fast-growing delivery business. Over the last several years, it’s been a significant growth driver for us.

Going forward, will delivery play an increasingly large role in your business?

I think it will. What we’ve seen is, even in markets that kind of get back to quote-unquote a more normal situation, delivery usage tends to stay elevated. And it’s not just unique to restaurants. There’s kind of a macro trend that customers like the convenience of getting delivery at home.

Any other consumer behavior shifts?

The other thing that we’re seeing is the whole notion of contactless is going to be one of the enduring things that stays with us after this pandemic. Whether that is mobile-app usage or using kiosks to do ordering or doing delivery, customers seem to be increasingly preferring service channels that minimize contact with other people. I think that that is something that is going to be enduring.

What do you see the McDonald’s experience looking like in five years?

I think in the U.S., you’re going to continue to see drive-through and delivery be important parts of it. But I don’t think dine-in is going away. I think there’s still this kind of fundamental human need to socialize over food with other people, and so I think that behavior will still exist. It won’t be as pronounced as it was, but it will still be there.

Will you ever build a ball pit again?

There’s probably some good public-health reasons not for us to be doing a lot of ball pits.</span><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">[Laughs.] I don’t know if we’ve got ball pits in our future. There’s probably some good public-health reasons not for us to be doing a lot of ball pits.

You’re requiring masks starting Aug. 1. What are the consequences for not wearing masks? Recently, an employee was assaulted in Oakland, Calif., after asking a customer to put on a mask.

We’re trying to strike a balance here. There’s certainly a public-health need for people to wear masks. There’s also situations out there, [where employees are] having to police the wearing of the mask. We’ve trained all of our restaurants how to handle or de-escalate those types of situations. But ultimately if a customer is not willing to wear a mask, that is where we encourage our crew to call law enforcement and let them deal with it. We don’t want to have our crew being put in a situation where their safety is somehow being put at risk by policing this. But I think the vast, vast majority of the customers out there recognize the importance of wearing masks.

TIME for Learning partnered with Columbia Business School to offer a series of online, on-demand classes on topics like effective leadership, negotiation and customer-centric marketing. To sign up or learn more, click here.

But what does it say about our society that restaurant workers, many of them teenagers, have to be taught de-escalation training?

For a long time, McDonald’s has in our communities played a larger role beyond just serving food. In many cases, we’re the town square. We’re the community center. We’re less comfortable or excited to be a policing entity. We have different times and different places that we get put into situations like that, whether it’s homeless who are trying to use our restaurant as a place to wash up or whatever. Or we have incidences that periodically occur where people have drug overdoses.

The whole parade of humanity.

When you serve 70 million people a day, which is what we do globally, what you tend to see in McDonald’s is what is happening in society at large. And so, we do the best we can with our crew to make sure that they’re able to serve our customers, but ultimately we have to make sure our crew are safe and so we don’t want to be putting them in situations where they’re in harm’s way.

Has the pandemic led to any supply shortages?

One of the things that’s been remarkable for us is through this whole pandemic, we haven’t had a single supply break on food, packaging, cleaning materials, etc., which is pretty extraordinary. In the U.S. in particular, there were some issues, about six weeks ago or two months ago, with beef shortages being of particular concern. I’m happy to tell you, those never impacted us. They impacted some of our competitors. There were industry supply pressures earlier around proteins. Those have let up, and throughout McDonald’s didn’t have any problems with it.

I’m guessing if you’re a McDonald’s supplier you are going to make sure that is one order that gets filled without fail.

We have made a point similar to that on a few different occasions.

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Has there been one menu item that has gained in popularity in recent months?

The surprising thing is that in the pandemic, consumers are gravitating back to our core menu. You’re seeing it in grocery-shopping behavior where these brands that in some cases people have viewed as, years ago I used to eat soup, and now all of a sudden people are eating soup again. You’re seeing a similar desire for trusted favorites … Big Mac, Quarter Pounder, french fries. They’re less willing to be trying new things. They’re less likely to go out there and try some fancy new burger at McDonald’s.

Are you happy with your menu offerings?

Our menu is a very democratic process; whatever the customer wants is what I want on that menu. If it’s not something that the customer wants, it’s not on our menu. I get asked quite often, Why isn’t this on the menu? Why isn’t that on the menu? And my short answer to all of those is because it didn’t sell enough. We are completely agnostic. We will put on whatever sells.

Beyond a hankering for the old favorites, any shifting tastes?

I do think one thing that is a global trend that we’re also seeing in the U.S. is protein consumption is shifting from beef to chicken. We’re paying attention to that in a number of markets again because consumption patterns are changing.

Last year, in fast food, it was the year of the chicken sandwich. But the Washington Post declared you late to the game and was pretty harsh about your offering, calling it “an amalgamation of various spare parts, lying around the company garage.” Snap!

That’s the great thing about working at McDonald’s, you never lack for attention. We always will get different perspectives. But we’re certainly working on ways that we can update and upgrade our chicken offering in the U.S. Suffice to say we will continue to be competing and innovating in chicken. And I’m sure we’ll continue to be getting critiques about how we’re doing.

You’re still working on your chicken-sandwich formulation?

Well, I don’t want to get too into revealing competitive secrets, but I think we are feeling good about where we’re at, and we look forward to bringing the customers some more innovation in chicken.

Given the environmental impact, should people even be eating meat at all?

It’s not our job to tell people what they should or shouldn’t be eating.</span><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Well, that’s a larger question that I think is not for McDonald’s to answer. That’s for consumers to answer. If consumers decide they don’t want to eat meat and they want to eat something else, we’ll serve that. It’s not our job to tell people what they should or shouldn’t be eating.

I understand you’re a marathon runner. How much McDonald’s food is part of your diet?

I eat it five days a week, twice a day. I have it every breakfast and lunch five days a week. I eat a fair bit of McDonald’s. I know my way around the menu pretty well. So I have my days that I’m going to eat healthy, and then I have my cheat days. And the great thing about our menu is you can do both.

What is your healthy go-to order?

If you’re talking breakfast, my healthy go-to order would be getting an Egg McMuffin sandwich with no bacon on it. And I might with that get either a cup of coffee or a small Diet Coke. And that’s typically all I’ll eat for breakfast. Lunch, it could be a salad. It could be our filet of fish with no tartar sauce on it. Double ketchup. Or it could be, if it’s a cheat day, it could be the Quarter Pounder.

The CDC says one-third of Americans are obese and frequent fast-food consumption has been shown to contribute to weight gain. You talk a lot about values. And I know you’re serving customers what they want. But how do you reconcile that with the fact that a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese and a large chocolate shake account for more than three-quarters of total recommended daily caloric intake, heavy on the sodium and saturated fat?

Our philosophy is that it’s ultimately the customer’s choice. We do disclose all of our nutritionals, and so it is prominently featured on the menu. It’s prominently featured on the app if you were to order. Essentially any of our order channels, you can see what the nutritionals are. And then a customer will make those choices that they need. For us, our obligation is to make sure we’re giving the customer all the information that they need, and ultimately they’ll decide what they want to do.

I understand that it’s not an urban myth, that there are specific reasons why Coke does taste better at McDonald’s. Can you tick off a few?

We have a very tight and special relationship with Coke. And it’s in our mutual best interest for us to have the best-tasting Coke in McDonald’s. One of the things that is helpful and why we have such a great-tasting Coke product is because of our volumes. We have in the back of our restaurants these tanks that essentially allow us to have a better mixing process in our restaurants between the syrup and the carbonated water than what someone else is able to do.

And there’s some adjustment of the sweetness to compensate for melting ice?

We have a process with Coke, where we have what we would call a gold-standard product. And we work with Coke to make sure that what is ultimately coming out of the fountain machine and into a customer’s cup reflects the gold standard. And that does entail tweaking, when needed, the sweetness.

Could you talk about how you follow a talented leader who was also very human? How do you approach that? At the town hall after you were named CEO, you talked about how emotional that was for you.

Part of what I tried to do is just to start with being honest with people and authentic. And I didn’t try to wrap it in any kind of corporate speak or euphemisms or anything like that. I mean I tried to just speak pretty openly about how I felt, which was conflicted because on the one hand, I considered Steve a friend. He brought me into the company. He supported me. But on the other hand, Steve made a mistake, and he made a mistake that CEOs shouldn’t be making. So have that trove of emotions that you do in any situation where someone does things that surprise you, disappoint you. Steve was at the company for 20 years. So there were a lot of friendships that were built, but also by the same token, I know there were a lot of people very upset and disappointed.

The Nation just published a detailed article describing a culture of sexual harassment at many McDonald’s outlets. Does McDonald’s have a sexual-harassment problem in the restaurants?

Anytime I hear about one of those situations, it’s disappointing to me because it flies totally in the face of what we stand for as a business. We stand for diversity, inclusion. We want to be a place that everybody feels welcome and that they’re treated based on their abilities and their contribution. Not for anything else.

What’s management’s role in responding?

It’s our job to take action and make sure that whatever were the conditions for the situation that led to that, that we deal with it very quickly. And also part of my obligation as CEO is to set the tone at the top. And I’m spending a lot of time just making sure that people understand my expectations around values. People understand my expectations about speaking up if they see anyone deviating from those values and giving them the confidence that if they do that, they’re going to be protected and that we’re also going to deal with it swiftly. And that’s what I think we have done, and that’s certainly what I’m going to continue to do as CEO.

Can you address the recent employee strikes over sick days, health care, personal protective gear and wages?

I think all of those in light of the pandemic make a ton of sense in that people are very worried about their health. They want to make sure that when they go to work that they’re going to be protected. I don’t think any of us—myself included—want to be in a situation where you’re having to decide between your health and going and getting a paycheck. One of the misconceptions is that somehow or another through this pandemic, McDonald’s workers haven’t been able to get sick pay. The vast, vast majority of our restaurants are offering sick pay to crew working in the restaurants right now. In the vast, vast majority of restaurants, people aren’t having to make that trade-off between safety and getting a paycheck.

And personal protective equipment? Do you feel the company is doing a good job in supplying that to workers?

Yes. We have global safety standards, and one of those is that crew are required to wear PPE in the restaurants. So that’s a face mask, that’s gloves. We ask the crew, and there’s a whole set of procedures around washing hands every hour. And if you look at the infection rate in our restaurants relative to the general population, we typically are better than the general population. So it doesn’t mean that we’re complacent about it. But I think we’re doing a nice job of keeping our crew safe.

One of the first things you did as CEO was change advertising agencies to Wieden + Kennedy. How involved are you in the advertising?

Let me put it this way, my team hopes I’m never involved in the advertising piece. When I’m involved in the advertising, it usually means there’s a problem. Or that something is not maybe as good as it needs to be. So I would say like most things in my job, I’m usually not involved until there’s a problem, and then I get heavily involved.

I’m Interested in those 15-second spots that focus on ingredients with the wonderful Scottish actor Brian Cox from Succession. He doesn’t seem like the most obvious choice for McDonald’s voice-over work.

You’re always trying to find something that is arresting or grabs your attention. That’s always a challenge in advertising. How do you get someone to pay attention? And in many cases, it’s that little bit of that odd juxtaposition that creates interest. To have his voice, which people either unconsciously or consciously know who he is, juxtaposed with the ingredient—there’s something unique and kind of makes you pay attention to that, and that’s why I think it worked.

Your mother was a kindergarten teacher. Do you ever have a bad day and go home and think I basically have the same job?

[Laughs.] That feels like a very dangerous question for me to answer. I would just say that I feel like I have an opportunity to build the future in a very good way for the company. So like my mother as a kindergarten teacher, she’s looking at the future, I feel like my job is to look at the future as well.

KEMPCZINSKI’S FAVORITES

BUSINESS BOOK: Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

AUTHOR: I do love Philip Roth on the serious side. He was a phenomenal, phenomenal writer. My guilty pleasure is tabloid journalism: TMZ, the Daily Mail, Page Six. I can give you the latest and greatest on all the happenings.

EXERCISE: I like sports. I’m good at none of them, but I love all of them.

APP: Outside of the ESPN app, Google Maps is a phenomenal app. I use that one for everything.

Subscribe to The Leadership Brief by clicking here.

from Blogger https://ift.tt/39NbCQx via IFTTT

[lovewon4me]

Sibling friendship is a countercultural notion. TV shows, movies, and books rarely portray siblings as allies. Sibling rivalry has been elevated from an occasional challenge to the cultural norm.

Under this norm, parents function as referees and judges—breaking up fights, assigning blame, and steering siblings to leave each other alone. But the Bible indicates that siblinghood (both spiritual and physical) consists of more than simply tolerating each other.

I’ve been pondering Proverbs 18:24: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” True friendship is a gift of the rarest kind. When the writer of Proverbs wants us to conceive of the deepest form of friendship, he says, in essence, “Imagine a depth of friendship that exceeds even that between siblings.” He points to siblinghood as the gold standard.

I came to parenthood with no vision for my children to be friends. I grew up the only girl among four brothers, and “adversarial” does not come close to capturing the dynamic among us. Our fights explored the full range of verbal, physical, and psychological aggression. We loved each other, but we didn’t really learn to like each other until later in life.

By contrast, my husband has called his sister, Emily, his best friend for his whole life. At first, I thought he must be lying. But there was evidence—pictures of them holding hands (holding hands!) on a trip to Disney as teenagers, full-body hugging at a family gathering, and heading to a dance together her senior year when she didn’t have a date.

I wanted to scoff, to say they were a statistical anomaly. But I also wanted to hope: What if Jeff and I could raise our four kids to be best friends? Despite the overwhelming consensus that it couldn’t be done, we began crafting a plan to try. We consulted Jeff’s parents. We quizzed older parents whose kids were friends. We scoured parenting books. And we assembled a handful of principles to guide us:

No favorites. Sibling rivalry can grow from a perception (right or wrong) that one child is more favored than another by Mom and Dad. We told the kids they were each our favorites in unique ways. We did not love them equally, but uniquely with equal intensity.

No teasing. This one was hard for me. I had grown up with sarcasm and teasing, and I was world class at both. By not allowing them, our home became a place where the kids felt safe from the verbal aggression that was the norm elsewhere. Instead, we prioritized affirmation, setting aside times to verbalize what we genuinely liked about each other.

Article continues below https://www.christianitytoday.com/partners/gift-guides/2019-holiday-gift-guide-for-book-lovers.html Frequent reminders. When conflict arose, we reminded them, “Your sibling is your best friend.” When peace reigned, we reminded them, too. We repeated what we wanted to be true between them until it became what they expected to be true.

Together versus apart. Rather than separate fighters, we pushed them closer, assigning them a shared consequence (like a chore) to do together. It was not our job to “break it up” but to “bring it together.” If conflict continued, we canceled outside activities. Until they could get along with their best friend at home, outside friends could wait.

Quantity time. Because deep friendship takes root in shared experiences, we spent countless hours of time together as a family. While we recognized the gift of outside friends and activities, we didn’t let either monopolize our kids’ free time. Their best friend from soccer would be a distant memory in 30 years, but the best friends they shared a last name with would be in their lives forever.

Why do we discount the vision of our kids as each others’ dearest friends? Why do we settle for rivalry? Frankly, as a parent, it’s easier to be a referee than a reconciler. It’s easier to separate than to shepherd—at least in the short-term.

But as I witness the deep friendship that has grown between my kids, I affirm that the long-term benefit was worth the effort. A friend who sticks closer than a brother is a rare gem. A sibling who is a best friend is a treasure for a lifetime. And a Christian family filled with siblings who are friends bears compelling testimony to the gospel of peace.

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2017/may/how-to-end-sibling-rivalry-like-christian.htmlJen Wilkin is a wife, mom, and Bible teacher. She is the author of Women of the Word and None Like Him.

How To End Sibling Rivarly Like A Christian

Sibling friendship is a countercultural notion. TV shows, movies, and books rarely portray siblings as allies. Sibling rivalry has been elevated from an occasional challenge to the cultural norm.

How To End Sibling Rivarly Like A Christian Sibling friendship is a countercultural notion. TV shows, movies, and books rarely portray siblings as allies. Sibling rivalry has been elevated from an occasional challenge to the cultural norm.

[hope14missions]

Sibling friendship is a countercultural notion. TV shows, movies, and books rarely portray siblings as allies. Sibling rivalry has been elevated from an occasional challenge to the cultural norm.

Under this norm, parents function as referees and judges—breaking up fights, assigning blame, and steering siblings to leave each other alone. But the Bible indicates that siblinghood (both spiritual and physical) consists of more than simply tolerating each other.

I’ve been pondering Proverbs 18:24: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” True friendship is a gift of the rarest kind. When the writer of Proverbs wants us to conceive of the deepest form of friendship, he says, in essence, “Imagine a depth of friendship that exceeds even that between siblings.” He points to siblinghood as the gold standard.

I came to parenthood with no vision for my children to be friends. I grew up the only girl among four brothers, and “adversarial” does not come close to capturing the dynamic among us. Our fights explored the full range of verbal, physical, and psychological aggression. We loved each other, but we didn’t really learn to like each other until later in life.

By contrast, my husband has called his sister, Emily, his best friend for his whole life. At first, I thought he must be lying. But there was evidence—pictures of them holding hands (holding hands!) on a trip to Disney as teenagers, full-body hugging at a family gathering, and heading to a dance together her senior year when she didn’t have a date.

I wanted to scoff, to say they were a statistical anomaly. But I also wanted to hope: What if Jeff and I could raise our four kids to be best friends? Despite the overwhelming consensus that it couldn’t be done, we began crafting a plan to try. We consulted Jeff’s parents. We quizzed older parents whose kids were friends. We scoured parenting books. And we assembled a handful of principles to guide us:

No favorites. Sibling rivalry can grow from a perception (right or wrong) that one child is more favored than another by Mom and Dad. We told the kids they were each our favorites in unique ways. We did not love them equally, but uniquely with equal intensity.

No teasing. This one was hard for me. I had grown up with sarcasm and teasing, and I was world class at both. By not allowing them, our home became a place where the kids felt safe from the verbal aggression that was the norm elsewhere. Instead, we prioritized affirmation, setting aside times to verbalize what we genuinely liked about each other.

Article continues below https://www.christianitytoday.com/partners/gift-guides/2019-holiday-gift-guide-for-book-lovers.html Frequent reminders. When conflict arose, we reminded them, “Your sibling is your best friend.” When peace reigned, we reminded them, too. We repeated what we wanted to be true between them until it became what they expected to be true.

Together versus apart. Rather than separate fighters, we pushed them closer, assigning them a shared consequence (like a chore) to do together. It was not our job to “break it up” but to “bring it together.” If conflict continued, we canceled outside activities. Until they could get along with their best friend at home, outside friends could wait.

Quantity time. Because deep friendship takes root in shared experiences, we spent countless hours of time together as a family. While we recognized the gift of outside friends and activities, we didn’t let either monopolize our kids’ free time. Their best friend from soccer would be a distant memory in 30 years, but the best friends they shared a last name with would be in their lives forever.

Why do we discount the vision of our kids as each others’ dearest friends? Why do we settle for rivalry? Frankly, as a parent, it’s easier to be a referee than a reconciler. It’s easier to separate than to shepherd—at least in the short-term.

But as I witness the deep friendship that has grown between my kids, I affirm that the long-term benefit was worth the effort. A friend who sticks closer than a brother is a rare gem. A sibling who is a best friend is a treasure for a lifetime. And a Christian family filled with siblings who are friends bears compelling testimony to the gospel of peace.

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2017/may/how-to-end-sibling-rivalry-like-christian.htmlJen Wilkin is a wife, mom, and Bible teacher. She is the author of Women of the Word and None Like Him.

How To End Sibling Rivarly Like A Christian Sibling friendship is a countercultural notion. TV shows, movies, and books rarely portray siblings as allies. Sibling rivalry has been elevated from an occasional challenge to the cultural norm.

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(Miss this week’s The Leadership Brief? This interview above was delivered to the inbox of Leadership Brief subscribers on Sunday morning, Aug. 2; to receive weekly emails of conversations with the world’s top CEOs and business decisionmakers, click here.)

When Chris Kempczinski was appointed CEO of McDonald’s last November, he was replacing a successful but flawed leader. His predecessor, Steve Easterbrook, was credited with revitalizing the global fast-food behemoth; during Easterbrook’s nearly five-year tenure, annual net income grew 33%, to more than $6 billion in 2019, and the company’s stock price doubled. But Easterbrook was fired for having a consensual affair with an employee, a violation of company policies. As if stepping into the top job unexpectedly—Kempczinski had been running McDonald’s USA at the time of his promotion—weren’t challenging enough, he’s spent the bulk of his first year as CEO managing through a global pandemic. While McDonald’s in the U.S. has remained open since COVID-19 hit, the accompanying economic turmoil has taken a toll on business. In addition, some McDonald’s workers have recently gone on strike, protesting the company’s safety procedures, benefits and pay policies.

Just hours after McDonald’s had released what Kempczinski, 51, called possibly the “worst” quarterly results in the history of the company—sales dropped 24%—the CEO joined TIME for a video conversation from his Chicago home. One of the factors that impacted the company’s bottom line for the quarter was 12 million free meals it donated to frontline workers during the pandemic, at a cost of $30 million to $40 million. Kempczinski discussed with TIME how consumer behavior is changing as a result of the pandemic, allegations of sexual harassment at McDonald’s restaurants, and de-escalation training for employees who encounter customers who won’t wear masks.

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This interview with McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski has been edited and condensed for clarity.

What’s your outlook for the public-health picture going forward?

One of the things that we’ve been saying to our team is that until there’s a vaccine that’s been widely distributed, we’re going to be in this period of regional hot spots that keep flaring up. Everything that we’re seeing right now suggests that that is going to be the pattern for probably the next year.

What is the status of your U.S. outlets?

They never shut down. One of the things that happened early on is that the government at the federal level basically denoted which businesses they viewed as essential businesses. McDonald’s and restaurants were deemed an essential business, and as a result, we were allowed to stay open, albeit in most cases with drive-throughs only. So with 95% of our restaurants in the U.S. have a drive-through, the vast, vast majority of our restaurants stay opened.

How has the pandemic affected your breakfast business?

Breakfast has definitely been the most impacted day part. If you think about breakfast, lunch and dinner, breakfast is most susceptible to people not going to work. We did some work, looking at cell-phone data and tracking mobility: what we saw in the mobility data was consistent with what we saw in the restaurant, which is essentially that people moving around was down dramatically in the mornings.

I was surprised to learn how extensive your delivery business is, approaching $4 billion in revenues.

We have a very robust and fast-growing delivery business. Over the last several years, it’s been a significant growth driver for us.

Going forward, will delivery play an increasingly large role in your business?

I think it will. What we’ve seen is, even in markets that kind of get back to quote-unquote a more normal situation, delivery usage tends to stay elevated. And it’s not just unique to restaurants. There’s kind of a macro trend that customers like the convenience of getting delivery at home.

Any other consumer behavior shifts?

The other thing that we’re seeing is the whole notion of contactless is going to be one of the enduring things that stays with us after this pandemic. Whether that is mobile-app usage or using kiosks to do ordering or doing delivery, customers seem to be increasingly preferring service channels that minimize contact with other people. I think that that is something that is going to be enduring.

What do you see the McDonald’s experience looking like in five years?

I think in the U.S., you’re going to continue to see drive-through and delivery be important parts of it. But I don’t think dine-in is going away. I think there’s still this kind of fundamental human need to socialize over food with other people, and so I think that behavior will still exist. It won’t be as pronounced as it was, but it will still be there.

Will you ever build a ball pit again?

There’s probably some good public-health reasons not for us to be doing a lot of ball pits.</span><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">[Laughs.] I don’t know if we’ve got ball pits in our future. There’s probably some good public-health reasons not for us to be doing a lot of ball pits.

You’re requiring masks starting Aug. 1. What are the consequences for not wearing masks? Recently, an employee was assaulted in Oakland, Calif., after asking a customer to put on a mask.

We’re trying to strike a balance here. There’s certainly a public-health need for people to wear masks. There’s also situations out there, [where employees are] having to police the wearing of the mask. We’ve trained all of our restaurants how to handle or de-escalate those types of situations. But ultimately if a customer is not willing to wear a mask, that is where we encourage our crew to call law enforcement and let them deal with it. We don’t want to have our crew being put in a situation where their safety is somehow being put at risk by policing this. But I think the vast, vast majority of the customers out there recognize the importance of wearing masks.

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But what does it say about our society that restaurant workers, many of them teenagers, have to be taught de-escalation training?

For a long time, McDonald’s has in our communities played a larger role beyond just serving food. In many cases, we’re the town square. We’re the community center. We’re less comfortable or excited to be a policing entity. We have different times and different places that we get put into situations like that, whether it’s homeless who are trying to use our restaurant as a place to wash up or whatever. Or we have incidences that periodically occur where people have drug overdoses.

The whole parade of humanity.

When you serve 70 million people a day, which is what we do globally, what you tend to see in McDonald’s is what is happening in society at large. And so, we do the best we can with our crew to make sure that they’re able to serve our customers, but ultimately we have to make sure our crew are safe and so we don’t want to be putting them in situations where they’re in harm’s way.

Has the pandemic led to any supply shortages?

One of the things that’s been remarkable for us is through this whole pandemic, we haven’t had a single supply break on food, packaging, cleaning materials, etc., which is pretty extraordinary. In the U.S. in particular, there were some issues, about six weeks ago or two months ago, with beef shortages being of particular concern. I’m happy to tell you, those never impacted us. They impacted some of our competitors. There were industry supply pressures earlier around proteins. Those have let up, and throughout McDonald’s didn’t have any problems with it.

I’m guessing if you’re a McDonald’s supplier you are going to make sure that is one order that gets filled without fail.

We have made a point similar to that on a few different occasions.

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Has there been one menu item that has gained in popularity in recent months?

The surprising thing is that in the pandemic, consumers are gravitating back to our core menu. You’re seeing it in grocery-shopping behavior where these brands that in some cases people have viewed as, years ago I used to eat soup, and now all of a sudden people are eating soup again. You’re seeing a similar desire for trusted favorites … Big Mac, Quarter Pounder, french fries. They’re less willing to be trying new things. They’re less likely to go out there and try some fancy new burger at McDonald’s.

Are you happy with your menu offerings?

Our menu is a very democratic process; whatever the customer wants is what I want on that menu. If it’s not something that the customer wants, it’s not on our menu. I get asked quite often, Why isn’t this on the menu? Why isn’t that on the menu? And my short answer to all of those is because it didn’t sell enough. We are completely agnostic. We will put on whatever sells.

Beyond a hankering for the old favorites, any shifting tastes?

I do think one thing that is a global trend that we’re also seeing in the U.S. is protein consumption is shifting from beef to chicken. We’re paying attention to that in a number of markets again because consumption patterns are changing.

Last year, in fast food, it was the year of the chicken sandwich. But the Washington Post declared you late to the game and was pretty harsh about your offering, calling it “an amalgamation of various spare parts, lying around the company garage.” Snap!

That’s the great thing about working at McDonald’s, you never lack for attention. We always will get different perspectives. But we’re certainly working on ways that we can update and upgrade our chicken offering in the U.S. Suffice to say we will continue to be competing and innovating in chicken. And I’m sure we’ll continue to be getting critiques about how we’re doing.

You’re still working on your chicken-sandwich formulation?

Well, I don’t want to get too into revealing competitive secrets, but I think we are feeling good about where we’re at, and we look forward to bringing the customers some more innovation in chicken.

Given the environmental impact, should people even be eating meat at all?

It’s not our job to tell people what they should or shouldn’t be eating.</span><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Well, that’s a larger question that I think is not for McDonald’s to answer. That’s for consumers to answer. If consumers decide they don’t want to eat meat and they want to eat something else, we’ll serve that. It’s not our job to tell people what they should or shouldn’t be eating.

I understand you’re a marathon runner. How much McDonald’s food is part of your diet?

I eat it five days a week, twice a day. I have it every breakfast and lunch five days a week. I eat a fair bit of McDonald’s. I know my way around the menu pretty well. So I have my days that I’m going to eat healthy, and then I have my cheat days. And the great thing about our menu is you can do both.

What is your healthy go-to order?

If you’re talking breakfast, my healthy go-to order would be getting an Egg McMuffin sandwich with no bacon on it. And I might with that get either a cup of coffee or a small Diet Coke. And that’s typically all I’ll eat for breakfast. Lunch, it could be a salad. It could be our filet of fish with no tartar sauce on it. Double ketchup. Or it could be, if it’s a cheat day, it could be the Quarter Pounder.

The CDC says one-third of Americans are obese and frequent fast-food consumption has been shown to contribute to weight gain. You talk a lot about values. And I know you’re serving customers what they want. But how do you reconcile that with the fact that a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese and a large chocolate shake account for more than three-quarters of total recommended daily caloric intake, heavy on the sodium and saturated fat?

Our philosophy is that it’s ultimately the customer’s choice. We do disclose all of our nutritionals, and so it is prominently featured on the menu. It’s prominently featured on the app if you were to order. Essentially any of our order channels, you can see what the nutritionals are. And then a customer will make those choices that they need. For us, our obligation is to make sure we’re giving the customer all the information that they need, and ultimately they’ll decide what they want to do.

I understand that it’s not an urban myth, that there are specific reasons why Coke does taste better at McDonald’s. Can you tick off a few?

We have a very tight and special relationship with Coke. And it’s in our mutual best interest for us to have the best-tasting Coke in McDonald’s. One of the things that is helpful and why we have such a great-tasting Coke product is because of our volumes. We have in the back of our restaurants these tanks that essentially allow us to have a better mixing process in our restaurants between the syrup and the carbonated water than what someone else is able to do.

And there’s some adjustment of the sweetness to compensate for melting ice?

We have a process with Coke, where we have what we would call a gold-standard product. And we work with Coke to make sure that what is ultimately coming out of the fountain machine and into a customer’s cup reflects the gold standard. And that does entail tweaking, when needed, the sweetness.

Could you talk about how you follow a talented leader who was also very human? How do you approach that? At the town hall after you were named CEO, you talked about how emotional that was for you.

Part of what I tried to do is just to start with being honest with people and authentic. And I didn’t try to wrap it in any kind of corporate speak or euphemisms or anything like that. I mean I tried to just speak pretty openly about how I felt, which was conflicted because on the one hand, I considered Steve a friend. He brought me into the company. He supported me. But on the other hand, Steve made a mistake, and he made a mistake that CEOs shouldn’t be making. So have that trove of emotions that you do in any situation where someone does things that surprise you, disappoint you. Steve was at the company for 20 years. So there were a lot of friendships that were built, but also by the same token, I know there were a lot of people very upset and disappointed.

The Nation just published a detailed article describing a culture of sexual harassment at many McDonald’s outlets. Does McDonald’s have a sexual-harassment problem in the restaurants?

Anytime I hear about one of those situations, it’s disappointing to me because it flies totally in the face of what we stand for as a business. We stand for diversity, inclusion. We want to be a place that everybody feels welcome and that they’re treated based on their abilities and their contribution. Not for anything else.

What’s management’s role in responding?

It’s our job to take action and make sure that whatever were the conditions for the situation that led to that, that we deal with it very quickly. And also part of my obligation as CEO is to set the tone at the top. And I’m spending a lot of time just making sure that people understand my expectations around values. People understand my expectations about speaking up if they see anyone deviating from those values and giving them the confidence that if they do that, they’re going to be protected and that we’re also going to deal with it swiftly. And that’s what I think we have done, and that’s certainly what I’m going to continue to do as CEO.

Can you address the recent employee strikes over sick days, health care, personal protective gear and wages?

I think all of those in light of the pandemic make a ton of sense in that people are very worried about their health. They want to make sure that when they go to work that they’re going to be protected. I don’t think any of us—myself included—want to be in a situation where you’re having to decide between your health and going and getting a paycheck. One of the misconceptions is that somehow or another through this pandemic, McDonald’s workers haven’t been able to get sick pay. The vast, vast majority of our restaurants are offering sick pay to crew working in the restaurants right now. In the vast, vast majority of restaurants, people aren’t having to make that trade-off between safety and getting a paycheck.

And personal protective equipment? Do you feel the company is doing a good job in supplying that to workers?

Yes. We have global safety standards, and one of those is that crew are required to wear PPE in the restaurants. So that’s a face mask, that’s gloves. We ask the crew, and there’s a whole set of procedures around washing hands every hour. And if you look at the infection rate in our restaurants relative to the general population, we typically are better than the general population. So it doesn’t mean that we’re complacent about it. But I think we’re doing a nice job of keeping our crew safe.

One of the first things you did as CEO was change advertising agencies to Wieden + Kennedy. How involved are you in the advertising?

Let me put it this way, my team hopes I’m never involved in the advertising piece. When I’m involved in the advertising, it usually means there’s a problem. Or that something is not maybe as good as it needs to be. So I would say like most things in my job, I’m usually not involved until there’s a problem, and then I get heavily involved.

I’m Interested in those 15-second spots that focus on ingredients with the wonderful Scottish actor Brian Cox from Succession. He doesn’t seem like the most obvious choice for McDonald’s voice-over work.

You’re always trying to find something that is arresting or grabs your attention. That’s always a challenge in advertising. How do you get someone to pay attention? And in many cases, it’s that little bit of that odd juxtaposition that creates interest. To have his voice, which people either unconsciously or consciously know who he is, juxtaposed with the ingredient—there’s something unique and kind of makes you pay attention to that, and that’s why I think it worked.

Your mother was a kindergarten teacher. Do you ever have a bad day and go home and think I basically have the same job?

[Laughs.] That feels like a very dangerous question for me to answer. I would just say that I feel like I have an opportunity to build the future in a very good way for the company. So like my mother as a kindergarten teacher, she’s looking at the future, I feel like my job is to look at the future as well.

KEMPCZINSKI’S FAVORITES

BUSINESS BOOK: Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

AUTHOR: I do love Philip Roth on the serious side. He was a phenomenal, phenomenal writer. My guilty pleasure is tabloid journalism: TMZ, the Daily Mail, Page Six. I can give you the latest and greatest on all the happenings.

EXERCISE: I like sports. I’m good at none of them, but I love all of them.

APP: Outside of the ESPN app, Google Maps is a phenomenal app. I use that one for everything.

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