sudarhospital-blog

[marinerendevouz]

enemies to lovers with fine + switch !

ft. eichi tenshouin, yuzuru fushimi, tori himemiya, wataru hibiki & natsume sakasaki, tsumugi aoba, sora harukawa

eichi tenshouin

• listen. hear me out here. being the younger sibling of rei and ritsu.

• SO many opportunities for silly shenanigans to ensue

• i can imagine eichi being the one to attempt (keyword: attempt) to court you first

• which obviously, considering his history with rei, is honestly REALLY WEIRD?

• you’re just like . What the fuck are you doing while eichi like . Winks at you or something

• seriously so awkward. you hate his guts tbh and are planning on his downfall together with rei

• ritsu finds it so So stupid. probably gossips ? gossipED ? about you with eichi at tea club . eichi was kicking his feet and giggling the entire time

• part of him doesn’t believe his crush is genuine at first. he thinks that it’s amusing, obviously, but real feelings ? he is simply not allowed to feel those…

• until now that is !

• he thinks your snarky remarks and nonchalant gaze are enrapturing

• meanwhile, you: (ʘ言ʘ╬)

• you accompany rei and ritsu to ensemble square quite often, which means you are (unfortunately) greeted by the presence of eichi almost Daily. A Nightmare for sure

• as time goes on, you see how hardworking and charismatic eichi is while performing his duties as executive for starmaker productions and well. even You can’t deny it’s a little attractive. ONLY a little (a lot)

• once eichi catches on to you reciprocating his feelings, he is SO ANNOYING!!!

• teasing gets way wayyy worse. honestly it’s over for you, personally i would have kms by that point

• and once rei notices your banter with eichi turning into FLIRTING? it is joever for you

• half of him is extremely disgusted . he is clinging to his beloved ritsu to console him . the other half is impressed somehow

• “ah, of all people, it had to be him?” “listen i didn’t want this either, rei” - you

• to see your hatred of what eichi did turn into understanding… really even you’re impressed with yourself

• and eichi is Actively trying to be better . he is a little fucked up but it’s okay you can fix him (and also make him worse)

• also i think it’s so funny to imagine eichi’s pale ass figure visit the dark, brooding, gothic sakuma estate. Family dinner visit !

• rei does not give his approval. he almost throws a plate at eichi

• ritsu just gives you two a thumbs up

• a happy family for sure ❤️

yuzuru fushimi

• as the best friend of tori, you have personal beef with his butler

• WHY is he always with tori. how are you two meant to get up to mischief with him constantly Watching. Always Watching.

• and yuzuru thinks you are a horrible influence on his young master

• an OUTRAGEOUS CLAIM which you are ready to fistfight him for . you exude nothing but purity, innocence and charm

• tori is somewhere between amused by your hatred for yuzuru and tired of hearing you talk about him ALL THE TIME

• “and why does he have to constantly be watching you? seriously, he should get a hobby. he’s an idol, too, right? actually i can kind of see why, he definitely has the looks to make it in the industry. anyway—” “OH MY GOD SHUT UP (Y/N)”

• tori doesn’t understand why you’re so Oblivious and so Dumb . he cries to eichi-sama about it who is too busy . idk watching wataru turn into a bird

• yuzuru just watches you with that type of . Evil and Scary closed eye smile that he is a pro at

• honestly? you’re quivering in your boots. but also admiring his smile. his smile is really pretty. Wait a minute.

• the complaining turns into swooning ! who would have guessed (tori) (he guessed) (he knew) (and now he has to listen to you talk about yuzuru 25/7)

• you clean up your act in order to impress him. No More late night snack runs with tori. you are a SAINT

• yuzuru finds it endearing and honestly quite entertaining

• soon enough, he finds himself completely charmed by your. erm. really strange(?) behaviour

• he, himself, is also a strange individual so there’s no surprise there

• tori sets up tea dates for the both of you as well awwww. What a good friend (he invites you over for tea with him then runs away when yuzuru comes to serve you tea. it is a Kind Of tea date)

• honestly you scored a 10/10 baddie GOOD FOR YOU

tori himemiya

• ok i know i have done the sibling ones So often already but. tsukasa’s sibling. YOU being tsukasa’s sibling that is.

• you and tsukasa are constantly discussing how tori has Wronged you everyday

• tori just looks at you both and calls you a fugly pair of siblings

• “listen i’m not saying we bring a lighter to the next fine concert But”

• “that is not appropriate at all… that being said i am not discarding the idea”

• dw about tori he has his own personal bodyguard (yuzuru) to ward off predators (you and tsukasa)

• how is he so much cuter, more successful, prettier, funnier, cuter—

• you know that type of jealousy and hatred that you realise is actually. Much deeper feelings. Yeah. it’s that

• tori gets a lot busier with idol work and that’s when you realise you miss going to the student council office just to banter with him.

• it is so so lonely and so so cold… (2 hours no tori)

• head on the desk. you feel yourself drifting further and further away…

• “hey, what’s up loser”

• RAGE. tori himemiya.

• half play fighting half unbridled rage . its like a pair of kittens toppling over and hissing

• tori also (maybe) (kind of) missed you too. he complained. Loudly. to yuzuru who was like Alright we are going to see them then!

• eventually the teasing insults and fighting turns into the type of fighting that you do as a couple. idk it just KIND OF HAPPENS?

• tsukasa is like. Well i do not approve but at least it’ll be good for our family business

• a good end. a happy end. eichi and wataru have adopted the two of you as their own

• “AMAZING! when is the wedding” “NEVER SHUT UP”

• you buy matching, cutesey couple items and then fight over them

• really what’s a good relationship without a few death threats here and there

wataru hibiki

• i really cannot imagine wataru having an enemy. SURE he has a lot of haters (tomoya) (hokuto) but even then it is done so in an affectionate manner. There is simply No hatred in his heart. only silliness

• so unfortunately your hatred of him is one-sided ! enemy to lovers part 2

• being a rival actor to THE wataru hibiki is certainly a predicament. i mean he has sentient hair is there anything he can’t do

• and it pisses you off. Majorly. who does this absolute clown think he is

• you try your hardest at Every show, you sing your heart out, put the most effort in

• and then there’s wataru. who is Equally as hardworking but somehow 10x more charismatic

• even eichi tenshouin is his biggest fan . he has capitalism on his side

• so you have a burning jealousy and hatred for this man . Well until he offers to do a show WITH you

• you just give him the blankest stare . What are you on about

• while he’s laughing to himself and monologuing on how you two would make the perfect lead roles

• ????? SERIOUSLY

• that’s how you get roped into performing with him and a bunch of idols in dramatica . And well they are certainly an interesting bunch

• as you prepare for the (romantic btw) musical you convince yourself the warmth you feel in your cheeks at his love proclamations is just Method Acting

• IT IS NOT!!!! no one can resist his charm

• you also see how well respected he is as an actor and his true talent on stage

• like . He was one of the eccentrics for a reason. he is stupidly good at acting

• jealousy turns to admiration and well. yeah you guessed it ! admiration turns into an intolerable crush

• wataru, similarly, is impressed at your prowess for acting and shows no signs of being quiet about it. he is yelling how talented you are every 5 seconds and joking how he may Really fall for you

• spoiler warning: he does

• flash forward 6 months . Time for the play

• at the kiss scene it all really comes together . it is a sincerely romantic and genuine kiss

• the crowd is going WILD (except eichi) (he’s jealous) (“i wish that was me fr”)

• backstage, you may just pass out

• but of course wataru is there to lift you up and be a shoulder you can lean on

• And that’s how you scored a date with THE wataru hibiki . he is everyone’s wataru but especially yours

• absolute 10/10 power couple watch out hollywood (and eichi)

• tomoya is just hoping you can tame him or something

natsume sakasaki

• i am so normal over him guys trust (lie) (such a lie)

• he is the perfect candidate for enemies to lovers . something about him just screams ‘i love you in a way that is so painful and so mean’

• anyways . being the apprentice of wataru after natsume stops being his apprentice

• I AM SO SANE OVER THIS CONCEPT

• obviously you were Not Really involved in the war so you’re pretty clueless as to natsume’s former relationship with wataru

• which makes you question why he is such an asshole to you. LIKE he does not take your magic seriously at all

• he thinks that you are not qualified which is . so stupid like you cannot gatekeep being an evil wizard okay that title is for anyone

• in reality… he is a tiny bit insecure that you’re good enough at magic to be wataru’s apprentice

• magic and alchemy has always been something that his character is largely based on and for someone to take over that role so quickly ?!?&:!

• so he Pretends that whenever wataru is telling him about your latest experiments and tricks that he is Not impressed .

• he's basically the yawns . sloppy. boring. lazy .

• he actually really wants to discuss magic with you but every time you meet he just scowls and acts like a bitch. in usual natsume ‘i hate being vulnerable or showing any feelings’ agenda

• so that means you’re going to have to make the first move. otherwise the enemies to lovers slowburn 100k words pining fic ends HERE

• if you ask him for help with magic he is going to be so smug

• like “hM, i figured the likes of you would need help from me afterALL”

• just try not to punch him in the face it will be WORTH IT OKAY!!!

• his hands are actually really shaky the whole time and he is trying his hardest not to mess up it’s actually So so cute

• and natsume gets to assess your magic prowess too (he’s impressed btw. he wouldn’t tell you that so i’m passing on the message. he's falling in love so quick but don’t tell him i told you ok)

• and so you meet up at his secret room regularly ! and with sora too who you become apprentice buddies with ^_^ so joyous

• listen i wasn’t going to include the love potion natsume trope in this but these headcanons are tropey enough let me have this

• you confess by making a love potion together with him PLEASE HEAR ME OUT

• anyways you are the best most magical couple in all of ensemble stars . you create tricky little spells to foil your enemies (eichi tenshouin) and then kiss wearing witch’s hats . the end

tsumugi aoba

• another good enemies to lovers candidate but in a More pathetic way i think

• you’re the producer for past fine. please hear me out on this concept

• i think your beef would be similar to eichi and hiyori . like divorced couple type romance

• you are regretful of the war and find the memories to be bittersweet. then you talk to tsumugi and he’s like Yeah haha i would probably do it again

• HE HAS ISSUES

• and yet he’s still one of the only people who truly understands and unconditionally supports you… this is a sick and twisted world

• i think tsumugi is too moe kyaah anime girl to have any hatred towards you so the enemies to lovers will (once again) be one sided

• he brings up your time as second years and you feel the need to throttle him

• yet you know him so well too, especially how he overworks himself

• and as an ensemble square producer you have to take care of his soggy pathetic self. Sorry

• that one romance trope of the person bandaging the wounds of the love interest . that’s you two except it’s you dragging his ass to bed at 3am

• he will complain . so you have to compromise on letting him cuddle you

• everyone notices how close you two are btw . sora is that one image that’s like ‘hey why does senpai call you babygirl’ ‘how about we stop talking for a little while’

• you Deny all the outrageous claims that you CARE??? for him and say it is rather your past together that makes you feel obligated but it was like two? three? years ago mostly everyone has moved on. stop lying to yourself

• you two have healed Together… and that is what makes your love so raw and vulnerable and eughhsjk this is so sappy and cute. Throws up

• hiyori and nagisa are both so happy that you two are together and finally found peace (sort of)

• eichi is like Hm. interesting . this is awkward

• but it’s okay . because everything is fine (haha get it) now and you and tsumugi are (past) war criminals together ^_^

sora harukawa

• sora is too full of JOY and HAPPINESS to be enemies with anyone . So we are going a bit off script you are rivals in this scenario

• video game rivals to be precise ! i feel like the 🤓 typing this but it’s CUTESEY I PROMISE

• mostly you two play multiplayer games together and get a teensy bit competitive . in the video game club of Course which means we get natsume to be the (totally unbiased) judge

• sora is realllyyy good at video games which means you frequently lose . this is why you have waged war on him

• you will not STOP until the ultimate gamer title becomes yours

• sora is just ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ he’s happy to indulge and play games with you because your colour is always so bright and vibrant when you do !

• little does he know you are plotting his Demise. his demise on little big planet or something

• days, nights, weeks, months you train to beat him. and you never do

• he keeps winning everytime and always acts so modest about it which is even WORSE!!! you can't even get mad when he’s so polite about beating you

• once sora notices your colour becoming more dull because of how demotivated you are he gets really worried (◞‸◟；) he loves playing games but loves spending time with you more…

• once you admit that you’re upset about being worse at games he thinks of a quick solution ! play games together instead of against each other and he can teach you all his tricks

• (natsume offers to help too but he's Not important and he is an asshole . Do not trust)

• so your weekly gaming tournaments basically turn into gaming dates ft thirdwheel natsume and sometimes tsumugi

• cutest CUTEST couple 10/10 i love

• natsume approves too btw . 10/10

• tsumugi is a Little confused but he has the spirit (he also rates 10/10)

• (rinne will not be Making an appearance in fear of shu finding out but he also rates 10/10. Save him from shu)

OKAY KIND OF IMPORTANT MESSAGE SO PLEASE READ!!!

i would have made a separate post for this but i feel like no one would read it so. i’m finally back after um. 10 months. i was super busy and kind of lost interest in enstars and other things so i pretty much abandoned this blog… BUT I HAVE RETURNED! i’m going to try posting every so often and interacting more with you guys on here ^_^ i cleared out my inbox (sorry to anyone who sent things in, it was cluttered and stressing me out haha) so feel free to send me any asks! i will NOT be opening specific requests, but you can feel free to send suggestions for prompts, scenarios or characters you want me to make headcanons for and i’ll try my best!! i also want to try out writing proper fics alongside the silly hc posts, but i might mostly post those on ao3, though i would like a nice balance between silly and serious(ish). i will also try writing for other fandoms like mhyk, twst and pjsekai since i am heavily in those as well but yeah!! my official comeback methinks. hope to chat more with everyone! ♡

[trashexplorer]

BLCD Review: Zanzou Slow Motion

Title: Zanzou Slow Motion (残像スローモーション)

Author/Artist: Janome

Shop: CD + Manga

Release Date: 2021/05/28

Cast:

Furukawa Makoto x Nakazawa Masatomo

Eguchi Takuya

Satou Gen

Tadokoro Hinata

Yasuaki Takumi

Matsuoka Yoshitsugu

Ichikawa Aoi

Yanagi Kouhei

Karino Sho

Synopsis:

What happens when two rival directors who hate each other's guts are forced to share one roof? And what if one of them has a secret he's been harboring for years? Throw in a shared love of movies, BL manga, and an accidental kiss, and you've got the next heart-pumping love story in Midorigaoka High and the sequel to Twilight Out of Focus 1. Jin Kikuchihara, third-year director, main actor, and president of the film club, and second-year director Giichi Ichikawa see eye-to-eye on very little. Jin is flashy, flirty, and focused on keeping everyone happy, while Giichi expects the best from himself and others, and will compromise nothing to see his vision through. Constantly at each other's necks, the two can hardly stand to be in the same club. But what will happen when family trouble forces them to live in the same room? Will their shared interests bring them closer as friends, push them further apart as rivals, or something else entirely?

Review Proper

I love Tasogare Outfocus, but this is actually my favorite Janome.

The second installment curse strikes again!

UGHHHHHHH THIS WAS SO WHOLESOME. Don't get me wrong, Tasogare Outfocus is written pretty decently, but I really don't like how Janome just glossed over Hisashi's SA and grooming like that. It reminds me a lot of Etude vol. 1. I can still get over Etude vol. 1 'cause it's not that uncommon to see in sports and Ichi-san's deal with Futami was given some closure in 2, but given how short Tasogare Outfocus was, Hisashi felt like he just lmao byed his teacher. 😔Doesn't help that it kinda doesn't matter anymore in overlap even though it hasn't been long since it ended. Is my son Hisashi really okay now? 🥹

I'm old, so DK BL doesn't appeal to me that much anymore. It's also hard to find good DK rivalries nowadays that aren't just about fucking or delinquents. Zanzou Slow Motion, however, just checked all the right boxes for the category: simple, no drama, and no loose ends. That coupled with Janome's element of touch?

And can we talk about this monologue?

Ugh.

I will say Jin's suspenders, Ichikawa's snatched waist, and the ABO shout-out greatly influenced my decision too. Y'all should get suspended in high school, not wear suspenders!

Onto the technicalities...

I don't think I've heard these two co-star before (or I just don't remember), so I was a bit skeptical especially 'cause last I heard Makonyan in a DK was in, well... Given as BLCD!Ritsu. And where else did we hear Yuuma star in a DK too? Yuuma as Anime!Ritsu. We just had Given Anime!Ritsu in Tasogare Outfocus being somewhat friends with Ichikawa and now we have BLCD!Ritsu (thanks to ecargmura for catching this!) trying to romance him. They used very different tones for Ritsu, but the vibe was the same overall. THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON. Makonyan and Nakamo also played tops in the last works I heard of them (Makonyan as Takaba in Kurui Naku and Nakamo as Yakumo in Nu:carnival), so I was concerned about a lot of things. Thankfully, however, instead of Makonyan going for his Ritsu tone or his lighter Kimitte Yatsu for a more youthful vibe, he went all shounen in here lmaooo.

His bwakame was so funny it reminded me of this:

I love roasting Makonyan more than any other seiyuu out of fondness, but I'm really proud of how far he's gone. He's gotten so much better in his delivery, and it's obvious in his budding anime career, too.

But...

I didn't expect there would be improvements in his bedding techniques too...

What the fuck was that? HAHAHAHAHAHA. WAIT. No, y'all don't understand. I have most of this man's r-18 otome CDs and BLCDs, and I have never heard him this... this hot before???? Jin is such a smooth flirt, so I had some expectations on the delivery, but FURUKAWA MAKOTO HISSES. HE HISSES!!! SIR IS THIS APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR FOR A HIGH SCHOOL BOY??? THEY DON'T EVEN SHOW THEM DO THE DO FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE??? WHERE WAS THE NEED?!

PUTS THE GODDAMN FU IN FURUKAWA MAKOTO ALRIGHT!

First it was Ono Yuuki, now it's Makonyan. Is Nakamo's ass really that good that his tops go all in???

I admittedly don't have a lot to say about Nakamo because that man always slays. I was afraid that Makonyan would overpower him during their Netflix and chill, but as soon as I had that thought, Nakamo pushed back like??? THEM SHAKIRA HIPS DON'T LIE!

HOW DO I LEGALLY MARRY GINGER RECORDS???

I didn't read the scan or the official English release 'cause I actually had the raws, so I can't vouch for the translation. As for faithfulness to the manga, however, I need to stress that there were a lot of rearranged events and cut dialogue. One notable instance was Ichikawa's message for Jin. It was placed after their kiss in the last chapter, so I believe that these changes are quite significant. It is still possible to read the manga while listening to the BLCD, but I suggest reading the manga once first so you're aware of which pages you need to jump to.

Chil-chil Awards 2022 was a scam 'cause this wasn't nominated for ANYTHING! This might actually just be my favorite BLCD of 2021... and Makonyan was my favorite actor in this series so far. OKITSU AND MAKONYAN REALLY SWITCHED IN THIS LOG HAHAHAHA. Makonyan and Nakamo at least won in my heart. 😌 Definitely listen to this if you're a Makonyan fan or if you're a fan of the series in general. It's also perfect if you're looking for something light and sweet but immersive at the same time. Chesk gives this a 9/10! Only the third 9 after Sonna ni and KD!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

Feb 2023 Wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most. 

Ongoing Series - Thai

My School President (Fri YT) ep 9 of 12 - WinSound totally won me over in this ep. They were great. Their competitive style of romance, made me really happy. Double tsundere it’s so rare to get and not be annoying or depressing. Of course the mains were adorable too. 

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) ep 8 of 12 - Solid little episode. Perth in the pool, thank U BL gods. Peeling the shrimp to rope, always a favorite of mine. Some awesome couple flirting and a nice romantic sex scene. What’s not to like about this episode?

Hit Bite Love (Sat YouTube) ep 2 of 6 - King is fucking adorable. Burger is clueless and (apparently) entirely straight. Shogun is one of the gayest characters ever put in high school BL. Heda is kinda awesome, basically a chaos wingman. Matteo is interesting. I genuinely like the central friendship between King & Shogun a lot. Queer baby besties! It’s Ming & Wayo-esk but better. Holy KINK FEST outta nowhere, BLman! I’m getting total whiplash with this show. Very Make It Right. What does it want to be? Who tf knows but I’m into it, that’s for sure. It’s accomplishing something, which most pulps don’t.

609 Bedtime Story (Fri WeTV) ep 11fin - my backup computer is down so I haven’t had a chance to watch this yet. Hopefully but next week’s report.   

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 6 of 10 (or 11&12 of 20) - Jonny’s hair is driving me nuts. Hai Yi’s behavior is confusing me too. Office boys remain totally adorable. Very doomy mid run ep 6. Ah Taiwan, how unpredictable you are. 

Candy Color Paradox AKA Ameiro Paradox (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - these weirdos make for very strange boyfriends. Frankly? K seems like a useless bit of business, if you ask me. 

Individual Circumstances (Korea Thurs Viki) ep 5-6 of 8 - I’m just annoyed with Mr. Tsundere at this point, he’s gone from grumpy to mean. I just want him to have a really good reason for having disappeared without saying anything, and good does not mean “sensitive pathetic authorial feels.” You don’t abandon your best friend just because you fell in love with them, that’s an unforgivably shitty thing to do. 

The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (Japan Sun Gaga ep 1 of 8 - Stars Toshiki Seto (Senpai, This Can't Be Love). The world is about to be destroyed by a meteor, so Masumi visits his old uni library to read as much as he wants until the end. There he meets Ritsu, his player ex. It’s a bit awkward, and I’m not sure about the premise (it scares me that it might be sad). It’s racier, gayer, and has better kissing than i was expecting (again a sign it might go dark). Also Is Ritsu a big time bi-slut player or is that Masumi’s perspective? Regardless I’m intrigued if wary. 

Finished this week

The New Employee (Korea Weds Viki) ep 7fin - They are so cute it’s unbelievable. I thought it was a good office romance ending, if not a great Bl ending. All in all this is a darn near perfect nugget of an office romance BL, sweet and much gayer than we have any right to expect from Korea. Rainbow rice cakes forever! 9/10

Between Us (Sun iQIYI) ep 12fin - It’s a serviceable series about hot swimmers flirting and dealing with family drama in a sweetly earnest manner, but ultimately it squanders the talent in play. I would’ve preferred a cleaner narrative arc, less angst and more plot, fewer couples, and a shorter series. That said, there’s nothing objectively wrong, sub-standard, or off-putting about this show. And it has lots of consent and other good qualities. It’s fine. Watch along here. 8/10

I Will Knock You (Fri Gaga) ep 12fin - I did think a lot over why I disliked this one. Because on the surface it’s just your standard slightly terrible Thai pulp, and I’m usually not that mean about them. I think in the end it comes down to the uke who just seemed to never warm to the boy pursuing him, and never really actually wanted to be his boyfriend. Also terrible dead fish kiss. 5/10 

Gossip

Apparently we have new scions (waves goodbye to BrightWin) - GeminiFourth: The Crown Princes of BL. If you’re wondering how their chemistry is so good (My School President), this article may explain it. 

In Case You Missed It

Caught up on 2020′s The Reason Why He Fell In Love With Me. (Gaga picked it up and I’ve been wanting to see it since it got announced in 2019.) 

TRWHFILWM Series 1 - 2 teachers who work together at the same high school, one outgoing and the other reserved, start an affair. Gave me Ossan’s Love vibes and that is my least favorite kind of JBL. It’s just far too cartoonish and slapstick and I don’t like it. That said, it has several kisses, a happy ending, and they are cute together. So if you can this style BL, it you might like it. 

TRWHFILWM Special - Completely ignores the first couple and the teacher premise, carrying over just one main character, and should have been a new BL (Boys Love flashbacks). I understand 2021′s season 2 continues this tactic. But I’ll watch it eventually. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Not a lot actually, which is cool, I still got some 2022 catching up still to do. Why You Y Me, may be? 

Starting: 

Moonlight Chicken (Weds? YouTube) 1 of 8 -   

My Beautiful Man S2 - ??? sorry I’m scared of this one and not really paying attention, it being Japan and a desirable property, I’m assuming it will either be impossible to find or just show up on my dash in 2 places at once. 

Feb releases list is here. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments some are inaccurate, NOT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Hit Bite Love it’s classic terrible Thai pulp and I’m kinda loving it. 

Thank you very much GMMTV. 

FINALLY! 

Also FINALLY. 

More FINALLY (My School President). 

I love the acknowledged combative nature of this relationship. It’s great. 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Under the Skin by &team, eh, it’s catchy I guess

[cowardlybean]

Hey. The Times They Are A Changin’ by @bandtrees and @tigsbitties amiright (muffled face down on the floor)

more (some unsettling things) beneath the cut :3

(Image 3 is my favorite sequence from an animation for TTTAAAC I’ve been working on, so here it is just in case I never finish </3, image 4 is me thinking about Mob’s house. If. That makes sense.)

OH MAN. OH MAN OH MAN. this fic has altered my brain chemistry in a way that has doctors baffled and leaves tragedy in its wake!!!!!!!!! Absolutely a masterpiece I’ve reread it 3 times now and every time I notice a new detail, there’s just SO MUCH CARE put into it. I think I could write an essay about every page of this fic LMAO it honestly blows me away, huge kudos to everyone who was a part of the project!!!!

Especially the multimedia aspects, they were so much fun to find and in some cases decode (Scared the SHIT outta myself with Breathe I think it’s one of my favorites). the youtube videos were so cool as well

Realizing a third of the way in that things will never get better was such a gut wrenching experience, and by the time I realized just how deep the hole Mob dug himself into was it was absolutely too late for anything to happen (the end of act 1 was horrific in the most amazing way. So many things stuck with me: the state Reigen was left in compared to how he was, Ritsu’s “surgery”, Dimple losing his best friend, Shou’s report to the police, Minori’s conversation (if you can call it that) with Mob?? Bone. Chilling.

One of the parts that has been sitting in my gut is Reigen’s fall, where he starts to ramble through fragments of old times. I genuinely thought he was calling out to Mob until just as the same time Mob did I recognized the words and it hit me like a HAMMER. I don’t know how to put it into words but Reigen rambling on like a broken record tore me apart, and then it gets WORSE. I only realized on my second read that the intro of the fic. (Correct me if I’m wrong) IS REIGENS PERSPECTIVE OF MOB SEVERING HIS TENDONS???? Holy fuck. Holy FUCK. The vague semblance of consciousness written there is so deeply unsettling I’m absolutely OBSESSED with it. ESPECIALLY THE FACT THAT EVEN IN THAT STATE HE STILL WANTS MOB TO BE HAPPY (the cheer ^^ mob bit) and idk if I’m interpreting right (this is gonna be so embarrassing if I’m not) but him recognizing the filthy jacket as well. Taking me OUT. AND. AND THE FACT REIGEN NEVER SPEAKS AGAIN AFTER THAT?????? (I could be wrong oops)

The mental states of every character in the fic are written so chillingly well. I can understand how Mob spirals, the anger and grief Tome feels, Shou's spite and anger, Teruki's conflict, Dimple's loss of his best friend, Serizawa's waning optimism, I can't name every character in this fic but they are ALL characterized so well. There's no needless conflict that make them OOC, there's a reason behind every little tragedy building upon themselves and creating a giant disaster that deeply affects the entire cast. Not to mention how its not just the loss of Reigen and Ritsu, but the loss of Mob too. If they were to have died on impact, its unsettling to think that things may have turned out better than this.

There’s a lot of things I wanna say that would basically be restating the fic (dimple losing his best friend, teru shaving, and the irony of ritsu’s powers being taken away by mob) so instead of writing 20 more paragraphs I’ll ask some questions I’ve been mulling over (ofc yall don’t have to answer if it’s revealing too much or smth)

Does Mob actually end up getting investigated or arrested? The formatting of the social media posts and texts makes them seem as if they're evidence and so does the ongoing "interview?" with Shou throughout the fic

In the party, is Reigen saying he doesn't like citrus a reference to the lemon sour :eyes:

I'm probably missing something but im curious about the metaphor around Reigen and a stray cat (hair clinging to Mob's clothes, comparing him to a stray cat finding a place to die, comparing him to a cat outside Serizawa's door)

If I'm not wrong and the "glitchy" sections at the beginning and end of the fic are Reigen and Ritsu's povs respectively, is their mind constantly like that or is it just in the specific circumstances where they have a small burst of consciousness?

last (thats a lie im definitely drawing more fanart in the future) but not least, some notes from when I was re-reading

[iguessitsjustme]

Jack o' Frost Ep 1 & 2 Thoughts

I have time today (because my job gave us an extra day off this weekend) soooo it’s time to liveblog Jack o’ Frost since it won my poll. I’m gonna do two episodes at a time for the liveblog just because they aren’t that long. I got my snacks, I got my drink, I am ready to dive in let’s gooooo

I was promised good music so that’s what I’m watching for honestly. I don’t know how much I’ll comment on the music, but I’ll probably talk at least a little bit if it’s that good.

Oh so we start this show in the middle of the drama. Love that. What’s happening. I guess I’ll find out

One thing that I lovehate about Japanese dramas is how much they utilize silence. I love it when shows do that but as someone who gets distracted easily and lives on a busy city street with a lot of noise competing for my attention, it is hard to watch Japanese shows sometimes.

Happy birthday. Time to break up.

These Japanese boys do run. Have they thought about a career in track? But also it makes me so tired to watch. *eats chip*

Is this a fucking amnesia story?

I went into this blind. I don’t know anything about this show. Did y’all trick me into watching an AMNESIA show? Do y’all hate me?

I can’t help but notice the very obvious color coding of these boys. Their coats are very coded. Do I know what it means? Nope. But it’s obvious enough for me to notice. Or I’m getting better at noticing. Which I count as a win for me.

Ooooo I love a good pajama set. I want that one. Looks cozy.

Okay okay. He had a head wound. He had bandages on it. He washed his hair? And the wound? Is gone? Where go? Why bandages? Head wounded outside or inside? What?

Real quick, is Tomoko single? Asking for a me friend.

Ohhhh nooooo he only forgot his boyfriend. What specific amnesia.

Okay EP 2 time let’s get into it. Right now. Right away.

Oh you want a do-over? Well isn’t that just great and dandy. You’re gonna run into the same issues. Just because Ritsu doesn’t remember doesn’t mean the issues aren’t there and don’t still need to be addressed before you two have any hope.

I’m actually gonna pull my hair out. This is why I hate amnesia stories. They’re always so unbalanced. Poor Ritsu.

Alas. Tomoko has a boyfriend. Things aren’t going well though? He better treat her right, or I will. Anyway she gives good advice to whatshisname (I’m not learning it until he fucking tells Ritsu literally anything about the two of them). The only thing she should also tell him is to TELL RITSU ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP Jesus H Crhist. This is why they had issues I’m guessing. This dumbass doesn’t know how to communicate.

I would like to go to this coffee shop actually. Seems very cozy.

Oh I didn’t really talk about the music did I? I love it. It’s very, very classical and that’s pretty much all I’ve been listening to lately so while I have issues with the heckin fuckin amnesia plot we got goin on…at least the music is absolutely gorgeous and doing it’s job well. Anyway. On to episode 3 I guess.

[dreaming-of-assclass]

omg hazama pfp …. trick or treat zainaaa <33 :]

Lee!!! Here’s a candy for you!! 🍫 And yes I’m honoring Hazama in the last few days of October lololol

…

“Aw, yeah! It’s pizza party time!” Muramatsu cheered, slapping his palm against his desk rather loudly.

Hazama rolled her eyes and thwacked him lightly with her gothic paperback. “It’s pizza, not gold.”

“Speak for yourself,” Yoshida snarked, turning around to face them and rubbing his palms together. “I even skipped lunch because I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”

“Same!” Terasaka chimed in, doing the same hand motion. “We didn’t do all that extra help in the classroom earlier for nuthin’.”

Besides him, Karma didn’t even bother to hide his snicker. “You have no idea how stupid you look right now.”

“Shut it, Karma!”

“If I knew pizza was all it took to turn you into a feral, brain dead zombie, I would’ve brought you some way sooner. You know, so you can be a better minion.”

“That’s it,” Terasaka growled, raising his fist. “Shu-!”

“PIZZA’S HERE, EVERYONE!” An obnoxious yet familiar voice sang, breaking the room into a silent pause. Korosensei glided over to his desk and rested the boxes onto the surface, his bright yellow tentacles waving around nonsensically.

“Aw yea- wait,” Kimura scrunched his nose in confusion. “Where’s the rest of it?”

There were only two medium-sized boxes.

“O-oh, erm…” Korosensei chuckled, turning a shade of pink. “That’s all Sensei can afford right now…hehehe….”

The room erupted in chaos.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”

“WE’RE ALMOST THIRTY PEOPLE!”

Korosensei burst into tears, immediately covering his face with his tentacles. “I’M TRYING MY BEST! YOU KNOW SENSEI LOVES YOU VERY MUCH!”

“Clearly not enough!” Terasaka snapped.

“NOOOOOOOO I DO!”

Muramatsu frowned, eyeing the size of the boxes. He turned to Karma. “Hey, math genius. Do you think that’ll feed all of us?”

“What do I look like, your calculator?”

“God, you’re such a dick.”

The classroom has devolved into utter chaos as Korosensei continued to cry and wave his tentacles everywhere, Kimura offered to run and pick up more boxes of pizza, Kataoka swiftly reminded him they were on top of a mountain, Ritsu sacrificed her slice since she’s virtual, then Sugaya told her she wouldn’t get one in the first place, and then Ritsu started crying.

Karasuma rubbed his temple, feeling a pounding migraine come on. “OKAY ENOUGH. I’ll cut the slices for everyone myself, and next time we have pizza, I’ll make sure that oaf doesn’t buy it.”

Hearts appeared in Kurahashi’s eyes. “Mr Karasuma, you hero!”

“Yes thank you, Mr Karasuma!” Korosensei cried, holding his tentacles in a heart shape.

Karasuma sighed and pulled out a normal knife from the inside sleeve of his jacket.

After about ten minutes, Muramatsu stared down disappointingly at the tiny sliver of a pizza slice on his plate. “I think my thumb is wider than this slice.”

“Mine definitely is,” Terasaka grumbled, picking his slice up. It was comical really, how much larger his hand was.

“Why did I skip lunch for this again?” Yoshida groaned.

“I could say why, but then I’d just be repeating myself again,” Hazama said before passing her plate to Yoshida.

He looked incredulous. “For me?”

“Yeah dumbass since you didn’t eat any lunch at all. Take it.”

Yoshida grinned. “Thanks, Hazama.”

“Don’t mention it.” She went back to her book, but not before showing a tiny smile herself.

Terasaka chewed thoughtfully and glanced at Karma’s uneaten slice. “Are you gonna eat yours or what?”

The delinquent was rummaging through his desk, his head bowed while he searched. “Yes.”

“Well, what are you doing?”

“None of your bu- oh, here it is.” He pulled out a small spice container from his desk.

Terasaka squinted, reading the label. “Chili flakes? Why the fuck do you have chili flakes in your desk?”

“I don’t live by your standards,” Karma replied casually, sprinkling a generous amount over his minuscule pizza slice.

“Whatever.” Terasaka rolled his eyes. “This class is weird as hell.”

[daywoutmoon]

btw to me personally Dimple is funny uncle not only for Mob, but for Ritsu as well.

I mean clearly Mob and Dimple have a special bond, they're besties, their friendship is very important in canon and all, I'm not trying to deny it! But still Dimple and Ritsu do have a history, like. When Ritsu's powers awaken the first psychic experience he had was seeing Dimple. And then Dimple helped his ass in beating random kids to level up his cringe powers and stuff. And like it was messy and stuff, and Ritsu was aware and called out that he knew Dimple was helping out just because wanted to use him, but like... They got over it, putting it simple. Like not that they could never talk about it, but I don't think Ritsu is even mad about it and like Dimple no longer has any plans for using anyone so like. To me they just chill with each other.

Also Dimple basically "haunts" the Kageyama household (when he's not at work at S&S or hanging out in Mob's school), so like. There is so much potential of fun interactions you know?!

And like. I think Ritsu would feel really really glad for all the moments Dimple took care of Mob, like. Most of those times Ritsu didn't even know cause like... pre-finale Mob and Ritsu didn't talk that much so like... I doubt at the time he would know that Dimple was the one that made Mob escape from bullyworld the simulator by mogami stink ass, cause Ritsu don't even know Mob gone throught it. Or like, Ritsu is aware that Shou did a shit plan (technically it was a smart plan but also bro wtf bestie worst idea lol) to make Mob snap, but like I don't think Ritsu know the details that Mob didn't burned the whole world down in grief because Dimple calmed him down. Again, Mob and Dimple have a beautiful friendship, and I think Ritsu would appreciate all Dimple did for his brother.

And once again going back to Ritsu and Dimple history I think Ritsu feel very grateful for Dimple help with his powers and all. It's not like Dimple directly was the cause for Ritsu powers, but still it was important step in figuring out how that shit actually works.

And also. I think this scene:

It's mostly about Ritsu worried about Mob that been... Well zoning out a lot lol. And yeah Mob is in his weird grief (calling it weird cause Dimple powers not letting him remember what happened), and like. Again, pre finale Mob and Ritsu communications sucked, even thought there things got a lot better than it was at the story beggining. So yeah just him looking out for his brother. But like... Ritsu asking Mob if he is ok is something that happens more than once in the series, but my brain can't avoid thinking how like. Two chapters later Ritsu reveals that as a kid he would ask it too because he also wanted share how he is and. like fucking communicate and stuff. And like, it just. I just think Ritsu is also worried here the fuck their weird fart friend is you know?

It's not like people think they aren't friends too, but even in canon they don't have that much interactions after Ritsu arc and I think it's a friendship that would be neat see more of it :]

[gillianthecat]

Jack O' Frost - episode 5

first half of this episode: i am so pissed at Fumiya that I have to keep taking breaks. I'm having a hard time wanting Ritsu to end up with him, his keeping basic facts about Ritsu's life from Ritsu feels like such a massive betrayal of trust that I can't see any way back from it. Certainly if someone did that to me I could not have them be part of my life anymore. In stories I'm often willing to tolerate behavior from characters I wouldn't in my own life, but I think because, as @bengiyo said, Ritsu has already told him (and us!) he hates it when people lie and hide things from him, I can't really imagine a happy ending with them together, no matter how much Fumiya apologizes. I find myself rooting for Ritsu to dump his ass and have a triumphant self-empowered ending, a la The First Wives Club. Or possibily end up back with his ex-boyfriend, but I didn't really feel a spark there, and only ship them out of desperation to keep Ritsu out of Fumiya's hands.

Jack o' Frost saw Old Fashion Cupcake and went: bet. Sure our hand-held long take is only 3 minutes, but we've got nudity and extended making out. Sorry Jo'F, OFC did it better, but that's like trying to beat Simone Biles on floor. It served a very different purpose in the film (memory instead of climatic revelation) and it still was an excellent scene.

The whole birthday flashback did remind me about what Ritsu sees in Fumiya. He's charmingly sweet, and it's understandable that he misses his boyfriend and want him around more, even though he should just COMMUNICATE instead of dropping awkward hints.

And the moment leading up to kiss was really hot. Both actors are very good in the series, and really conveyed the shift from comfortably relaxed to I need you NOW. That tongue lick... the way Fumiya was devouring Ritsu with his eyes... oh my lord 🥵

ok, fun times are over, for them and for us. Fumiya, stop passive-aggressively slamming dishes.

i thought this was another 3 minute long take, but it turns out there was a cut in the middle (perhaps it was supposed to be, but didn't quite work out?) Even so, impressive work from the actors and camera operator. The rising tension in the scene had me on the edge of my seat. I also feel like they choose exactly the right amount of this fight to reveal at the very beginning of the series, just enough for us to get a vague impression of a breakup without actually understanding it yet. It made this 5th episode reveal all the more powerful.

I'm sorry Fumiya, but I'm firmly on Ritsu's side in this one. I'm not saying that Ritsu is perfect; I can understand how his forgetfulness and absorption in his work can be frustrating. And probably if I had only seen this one moment in their relationship I would be more tolerant, but now this is just more evidence of Fumiya's refusal/inability to communicate. He has all these unstated expectations that he's not telling Ritsu, then all of a sudden blows up about them.

Speaking about communication, Fumiya better be telling Ritsu all this and not just remember it in his own damn head.

Ok, phew, apparently he did.

This show is really grappling with how fucked up Fumiya's decision is, which I appreciate. And Ritsu sees things the same way I do, thank god. I really do love him.

I do think the series is quite good. I think I'm not really reacting to it as a BL, actually, which may be why its' been hard for me to figure out what I think of it. There is a wide range of what a BL can be, but this feels a little outside that box. Although it's about their relationship, it really feels like the center of the story is about Fumiya's journey to (hopefully) grow up, and be ready to be in a relationship. It's about learning how to be in a relationship, not about finding love, even though there's an illusion of it being a story about falling in love, since for Ritsu it feels like that. But that's only an illusion, a fantasy world, for both us and for Fumiyo.

It's just really hard for me to see him as capable of being a good partner if he so easily tries to erase Ritsu's agency in their relationship. Like, I sympathize with him being scared, and jumping at a chance for a do-over, but they fact that he actually went through with the lie tells me that he's not really seeing Ritsu as a person, just a paper doll to manipulate into living out his fantasies of domestic bliss.

I wonder how they're going to resolve this in 24 minutes next week. I'm not holding my breath for them giving an ending that satisfies me, although I think I'll consider this a good show regardless. But I will be very impressed if they manage to pull it off. I think for me there will need to be a time skip, and clear evidence of Fumiya really reckoning with how fucked up his mindset was. And Ritsu needs to be the one to approach him again.

Alternatively, I think I would be happy with an ending where they don't get back together, although this show has enough of a romance feel that I don't expect that's the direction it's heading in.

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

Hello valued mutual-in-law (I am the twitter mutual of Matt’s whose friend is long term essaying with him over curiouscat, for context); I just wanted to say I just read your writing on disability within enstars you linked in reply to one of the curiouscat exchanges (which I’ve been reading bc I like seeing what both people involved have to say) + the post about guardianship re: the Merus that it linked to. Just wanted to say thanks for writing it all because it was really insightful — particularly the Sakuma segment, because I’m not very well-versed on the two of them and especially not with Rei, who I’m mostly acquainted to through being a casual enjoyer of the oddballs’ group dynamic, as well as a 2winkP (the latter of which provides sort of complicated feelings on him based on Setsubun & its aftermath, or general lack thereof that’s only really brought up in Nightclub from what i’ve seen do far;;). Like I did know to a basic degree about the Wagahai & Orei selves being personas but the detail in which you went into them + the way his disability affects him & his relationship with Ritsu really gave me some new insight on him & a motivation to learn more up on him.

Tldr; I enjoyed your thoughts and writings on the mixed bag of disability representation in enstars, thank you for writing all that it was nice insight, and it helped me understand the Sakumas — particularly Rei — better. Good posts op

HIIII holy shit, thank you so much for reading them. JUST HOW FAST WERE YOU.... i am really happy to hear you liked them!!! its just a lot of rambling but i love to yap + i love when others yap and it introduces me to a new perspective...... in my mind were holding hands and dancing in a meadow <:)

genuinely, i think no one can be immune to the oddballs, right. theyre just good. see.... my partner is a shuP and my bestie is a natsumeP and matt is a wawaP and i am a rei guy by necessity and ..... THIS IS HOW I KNOW NOTHIONG ABOUT KANATA.... i feel like often orienting oneself around enstars as a series is extremely about picking like a handful of charas to major in and knowing people who are into everyone else so you experience enough secondhand lore LOL

i extremely get you though, rei is not sympathetic. i am on pc but what i mean is 2winkP handshake emoji kogaP = Fuck That Guy

i could talk about rei (and ritsu for that matter. tho i havent read that much about him) in the context of disability forever.... and it feels important because it is an angle that discussion about him is just EXTREMELY lacking. it often feels like barely anyone bothers to think about how much being ill shapes his person, his relationships, his job, his actions.... and i cant really blame people either because they probably havent made the necessary experiences to really internalize how big of a deal that is...

and narratively..... there is a big trend of characters being very lenient with him and basically thanking him for being.... extraordinarily condescending, nosy, emotionally unavailable, and actively a danger for everyone involved. the worst examples that instantly come to mind for me are repayfes, setsubun (as you mentioned), and dont even get me started on hidden beast.

+ often hes some sort of deus ex machina plot device for lazy writing and its SO obnoxious.

setsubun specifically is so weird because i understand and support his weird cartoon villain act (as in, its engaging to read and an interesting manifestation of his issues) and obviously i LOVE the drama of characters being unwell and causing issues for others that way... conflict is great... but the way the twins react to it purely positively at the end is just a really disappointing. like i dont expect them to truly nail that hinata almost died an hour ago but come on. (ig sandstorm tries to pick up there....) also sort of why i never brought anything in there about being "monstrous" and how "monsters are created" up in my disability post.... really really fits the topic and a lot of it is coming from the horses (reis) mouth but the context hinata and yuta experience it in is just an entirely different one. hm....

its sort of a similar deal with himeru, right. narratively i am disappointed. they dont get chewed out by the people i want. and hes doing evil shit. but then i see him and i go :( thats my funny menhera man.......

[kamisamawashinda-tte]

I don't know what you ship but if you're willing, EiRitsu with "a kiss for good morning". Or you can do a ship of your choice for the same prompt!

when it comes to me, the better question is what don't i ship because i find it hard to Not see beauty and intrigue in every fictional interpersonal relationship Plus im delusional and everything is romantic to me

never change // eiritsu 1.3k gen reminiscence based on prompt 1

I remember begging time to let this stay, to let us be, and so we have if only at her mercy. I remember feeling sick with all that went unsaid, what went unseen, though memories of back then have since bled into my dreams. It's hard to say- it's gross to say- but it just might be that I liked it better that way.

or: ritsu has a fun little nostalgia trip and a totally awesome happy time

--

His head slumped further down against his propped up arm- not an uncommon occurrence for him- but his eyes stayed open and focused. Very uncommon for Ritsu, of course, was the perfect naptime opportunity passed up. Perhaps the most uncommon for him was not being able to let that opportunity take him. To be awake against his will really should not have been possible for a practiced and skilled sleeper such as himself.

To fail at his greatest talent... Ritsu very much wanted to pretend he couldn't figure out why. Maybe a problem left unaddressed dissolves into nothing, and maybe a young man with no problem finds sleep with ease.

He wanted to stray his gaze away from the café window, to pry his attention away from what lay just outside. What should have been harsh against the eyes, bright magenta under the unfiltered sun, poured into his own so soft and dull.

Proud, flowering larkspur swayed with grace in the afternoon breeze. Up against the building's sides where the owner kept her love to share with customers and passersby alike. All purple and pink, a bright, happy sight intended to fill the heart and calm the mind.

Ritsu could feel a tinge of strain behind his eyes from how fixed remained his stare. Threads in his chest pulled tight as if trying to unravel, while clouds in his head grew heavy and hazy in the most uncomfortably conscious way.

He frowned as his coffee touched his lips. He'd ordered coffee, for fuck's sake.

The FLAVOR meet-up hadn't gone all that different from usual, not at all in a way that could warrant such a sorry after state- even if they did end up in a café, Ritsu's very least favorite place to wrongfully dignify with such a sacred ritual.

How Hajime's whole face, typically kept composed and reserved, lit up at the mention of such a cozy spot's reopening. How Hiyori was delighted to find that two other members knew the place he'd brought up. How gently excited Tatsumi seemed to stumble across another common item of interest to bond over.

"Well then," Eichi had stood up off of the couch abruptly, "what are we all still sitting here for, hm?"

Through haste and giggles, the five of them collected up all of their tea leaves for the day and shuffled out the door of Tatsumi's shared Starmony Dorm where they had initially planned to hold the gathering.

From there played out the same old catching up, the same old gossip that some preferred to pretend wasn't gossip, and the same old refreshing wave of contentment.

The group split off at the designated hour, all but one having planned carefully around arrangements for a neat and productive schedule that left no room to dawdle.

Ritsu remarked something like that he really couldn't be bothered to get up with all the warm treats he'd indulged in. Everyone decided that this was a very Ritsu thing to do, and a very Ritsu thing to say. They exchanged their farewells and let the sloth laze.

His cup met the table with a hesitant removal of the hand that had to work without a guide. Not once did his gaze falter.

He watched the flowers dance like they meant to taunt him. How blurred the rest of the world became while those joyful little larkspurs stayed sharp and clear.

.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~⋄⋄✾◈◆✾◇⚘⚘⚘◇✾◆◈✾⋄⋄~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...

Ceaseless colors, bright by nature but muted to better please the eye, wrapped around and dyed the endless stream of shapes that flew behind his eyelids while they rest shut. The shapes came in patterns, playing out like a program aired with no discernable purpose. As fast and clear as they'd started out, lines began to slow and blur shortly. Colors mixed, light swirled, and everything felt... fuzzy.

Ritsu Sakuma reluctantly flitted his eyes open to see two arms. One was his own, splayed carelessly against the tall, slightly wet grass. The other extended from a point just out of his hazy view. Adjacent to where his terrible mess of hair rested with grass and dirt ghosted a gentle hand from above.

The sensation of light tugs gave him the impression that those fingers had just been entwined with his hair before trailing softly down his face.

And when he lifted- well, rolled over- his head just enough to get a fuller perspective, the tender touch followed his cheek.

Eichi Tenshouin's fond look grew into a radiant smile rivaled only by the morning sun rising behind him.

"The whole night?" His words were chosen to chide but came out amused. "We leave you for a little afternoon nap in the garden, and you manage to sleep on campus for the whole night..."

Ritsu put on a little show with his eyes, throwing his gaze in every direction before responding with, "Looks like it~"

Sunlight hit them disproportionately, framing Eichi where he knelt in the grass like a halo from behind and thus coloring Ritsu with his warped shadow.

Far passed his waking, and his senpai still hadn't stopped petting his face. Rather than bothering to wonder why, Ritsu moved the arm he couldn't see from where it lay across his stomach to hold the back of Eichi's hand in his own. The silence that composed the space between them was, against all odds, quite comfortable. Reflecting in each's eye was the other, infinitely intimate and uncannily understanding.

Following more than enough stagnant air, Eichi breathed out a curt chuckle through his nose. "Do we think it is about time to get up?" His adoration couldn't- perhaps pointedly wouldn't- be masked, every word woven with warmth. "I'm sure your dearest Knights are wondering what you've gotten up to."

They were not. Both boys knew this.

Ritsu humored him anyway. "Hmm..." his eyes closed while he gently stroked the fingers playing in his hair with his own. "I don't kno~ow..." He barely even reopened his eyes before glancing back up through his lashes. "The garden is just so comfy that I don't see any point in moving without some kind of motivation, Ecchan~"

He was well aware of how his naturally absurd disregard for rationale captivated his senpai so. Well aware of the fact that if Eichi had been born just a little healthier, if he had been saddled with just the littlest bit less of responsibility, then his next course of action would most likely have been to lie right down next to Ritsu in the grass and let the clouds be their teachers for the day.

But, realistically, Eichi only had so much time.

He let his hand fall from his kouhai's hair, landing their now interlaced fingers in the grass just beside them. With that, he leaned off of his legs and more over Ritsu, all the while lowering himself so as to level their faces.

Ritsu blinked up at him lazily, expression unchanging- though not exactly that Eichi's expression had really changed so much since he'd woken up either.

Eichi shut his eyes this time around as he made the final move for their lips to meet. The speed at which Ritsu responded gave away his current charade of debilitating fatigue.

Similarly quick to his upper back was a supporting hand when he began to sit up- if only as an excuse not to end the kiss as Eichi started rising himself.

Amusement foiled them anyway, Eichi being unable to hold back a less than dignified snicker.

"Oh? Are you 'motivated' all of a sudden?"

Ritsu's eyes focused on a shining star, accentuated under the sunlight and framed by gorgeous larkspurs, purple and pink.

.

..

...

He could feel a faint tingling on his lips, uncomfortably unforgettable how soft, how sweet the kiss of a living corpse.

And very much more unbearable was the memory of a world no longer real. Of someone who would still look his way, but now with a wandering gaze.

Ritsu leaned back in his booth seat and looked up at the ceiling light. He hoped it could blind him if he stared long enough.

[problemwater]

reimob a.b.o. tweet thread let's go

hmmmmmmmmore reimob on the brain

a.b.o where reigen is an alpha, mob is young and hasn't quite presented yet, post-canon

a normal day staring s&s, waiting for mob, seri, n tome to arrive

mob shows up first and reigen almost doubles over from the smell of pheromones pouring off of the boy

mob is having a hard time walking, something painful encompassing his senses, but something about seeing reigen makes it all better

something about reigen made the pain subside, just a little

so mob fought his way closer, stopping just short of where reigen was standing, wondering why reigen was stepping away from him as he approached, slowly cornering reigen against the wall

"shishou" he pants "shishou, what's,,, help" he was clenching at his chest, unaware of what was wrong

but reigen knew

and reigen wishes he was that blind asshole who could teleport right now

because right here, right now, in his office, mob was having his very first (unmedicated) heat

and was staring at reigen with desperation for something reigen should not, could not give him

"mob, we need to get you home" reigen tried, but sense wasn't helping

"I just got here,

"you smell so good, shishou," he stepped even closer to reigen, powers staring to flicker around him like he was losing control

even after everything they'd been through, reigen was still not afraid of mob hurting him, but this time it wasn't any physical danger he was in

mob closed his eyes, breathing in reigens scent, and when he opened them again they were glazed over with desire

reigen couldn't move

not wouldn't, because dear fuck did he want to

he /couldn't/

mob had him pinned, unconsciously

"mob, you're in heat. we really need to get

you home" reigen tried again "ekubo, are you here, can you help?"

ekubo appeared looking just as concerned as reigen felt, "you know I can't overpower him"

reigen knew that, but hoped this would somehow be an exception

he couldn't move his legs at all, but he could somehow get his arms moving, if he tried really hard

he reached for the phone in his pocket

"heat?" mobs voice was also strained, "it hurts, shishou"

his hands were starting to clutch lower, at his lower belly, and lower until one was just above his pants

his eyes drifted down to reigens crotch

"mob, really, we- you really need to leave" he was desperate now, because mob was putting things together and was absolutely not in his right mind about any of it

he slowly but surely punched in the number for ritsus cell

it rang, and mob stepped closer still

inches away now, powers framing reigen, who could no longer move his arms

"shishou, I need... need" he fell to his knees, face so, so close to reigens very unfortunately hardening dick, leaning in and breathing deep, "smells so good, shishou"

reigen definitely didn't shriek

"hello? reigen, whats-"

"/shishou/" mob moaned

"nii-san?? is everything okay? reigen I swear I will not hesitate t"

"h- help!" reigen was struggling to form words at this point "mob's. heat. lost control... get hanazawa"

he could hear wind rushing as the call disconnected

assuming and hoping it meant that he and hanazawa were on their way

hoping they could stop mob, somehow

"mob, mob hey, listen to me, you're using your powers on me"

mob didn't respond, not like he didn't care but like he didn't hear reigen at all, completely focused on chasing the desperation he felt

he brought his hands up and bracketed reigens hips with them, closing the distance between his face and reigens groin

"mmmnn,,, shishou" reigen was mortified hearing such noises coming from mob, "reigen-shishou"

hearing his name like this, from mob of

all people

mob, who was barely 15, not even in high school yet

"mob, really, you need to stop this." he pleaded "I... you're so young mob, please... I can't"

mob nuzzled his crotch, drawing a yelp-moan from reigen, "shishou... I want..."

"no, mob. no you don't. you're in heat you aren't thinking straight," reigen was getting tired of pleading, tired in general from the pressure of mobs powers

he could feel himself starting to slip, sliding toward the floor

he hoped it would deter mob

(it didn't)

mob lifted away from him (thank god) but as reigen

slipped, mob stayed where he was, kneeling in front of reigen, until reigen hit the floor and mob was almost seated in his lap

"mob, dont-"

mob let himself rest his weight against reigens hips, aligning his ass with the fresh tent in reigens pants

mob let out a garbled whine at the contact, his body figuring out what it wanted

"mob, no-"

"shishou..." he shifted his weight, grinding down against reigen, letting out a moan from the stimulation, "I need-"

the door bust open

ritsu and teru paused briefly at the sight, having expected something very different (ritsu had misunderstood, thinking it was reigen who'd lost control, not mob, and had come ready to K word reigen)

but they realized quickly what was actually happening, working together to lift reigen up and far away from mob

"oh thank heavens, ritsu" reigen was ready to cry he was so relieved to see them

mob collapsed on the floor, crying out in desperation from the loss of contact, closeness with reigen

a small wave of power radiated from him, dropping reigen back to the floor

ritsu had already ran up to try and comfort him,

telling him he'll get mob home where he can relax

mob didnt want to go home, he wanted to be closer to reigen again

but teru had pulled reigen farther away again, shrouding him in his own powers to try and contain his smell

mob choked out a sob as he regained his sense

breathing heavy breaths like he'd been drowning

"let's get you home, nii-san"

mob only nodded, letting himself be lifted by ritsu, who led him out of the office

reigen sat panting, thankful that they had arrived on time, before /he/ lost it

"you okay?" teru asked

reigen caught his breath, "I... yeah. I will be, I think"

teru looked worried for him, "we'd really assumed the worst, you know"

reigen paled, knowing full well what he meant, "thanks for stopping it from getting that far, really"

"would you have? lost control?"

reigen

sighed, "I couldn't move. I don't know"

teru grimaced, "well. thankfully that isn't what happened,"

reigen only nodded

there was a beat of silence before reigen spoke again, "can you... can you tell him I'm okay?"

"yeah, I can do that"

"and tell him... Im not mad at him"

"... right" teru gave reigen one last, knowing look, before heading out of the office

reigen sat there in silence, breath still slightly ragged as he processed what had happened

serizawa walked in, eventually, to reigen still sitting on the floor, slightly disheveled

the whole room smelled like mob, like heat, and serizawa was immediately very concerned

"reigen? what happened?"

reigen sighed, slowly working his way to standing back up, trying to make sense and words of what /had/ happened

"well... mob presented today. he's having his first

heat"

serizawa bristled, "sh-shigeo?? is. is he... okay?"

"he's. fine, probably. his brother took him home a while ago"

"..... and you?"

"I... he couldnt control himself, and... I was the alpha closest to him"

a pause, "did. did you..?"

"no. thank god, no. they stopped him"

serizawa visibly relaxed at that, "oh. good. I think"

"are... you? okay?"

reigen wasn't sure, really. he was physically alright, well, mostly, but mentally?

"I think so? a little shaken, but. I'll be okay"

serizawa wasn't sure if he should believe him, considering, but didnt

press the issue

mob, on the other hand, was very much Not doing okay

ritsu had gotten him home and, much like he and teru, their parents assumed the worst when ritsu told them what had happened

but ritsu cleared everything up with them, ushering them to contact the family

doctor to get mob help asap

mob was in his room, rutting down against his futon desperately, trying to recall the exact feeling of reigens dick against his ass, the smell of it against his face

he didn't know how to masturbate, never really needed to before

and now he really,

really needed to

he grabbed at himself, thinking about what his body wanted

he could hardly form cognizant thoughts, but he was getting somewhere

heat meant he's an omega, right? omegas have sex by...

the thought sent shivers down his entire body

that's why it felt good to

sit in reigens lap

he gulped, reaching a hand around himself, dipping a finger between his ass cheeks, feeling his hole, slightly wet with slick, for the first time

he took a deep breath and pushed it in, a whine escaping him at the sensation

it felt so good, but,

simultaneously made his body want more

he tried to satiate it by putting in another, pushing the two in and out of himself desperately

he reached down to his dick, squeezing too hard, and rutted into it, chasing both his fingers and his hand with every movement

he eventually

came, a long whine leaving him as he did, his whole body tensing

he breathed hard against his pillow, realizing quickly that his body still wanted more

he huffed, too overstimulated to continue, instead curling up in himself and trying hard to catch his breath

a soft knock

rang from the door, "nii-san? the doctor is here"

he hurriedly threw his clothes back on, wiping his hands off on his sheets as he clambered to get up and answer his brother

he opened the door, ritsu giving him a concerned, embarrassed look, "come on"

the doctor gave mob a

sedative and hormone suppressants, for his heats. and a long lecture about how to track and predict when they would happen

by the time the doctor left the medicine was doing its job, and mob wanted nothing more but to sleep

he woke up the next day feeling the same drive as the previous, but not nearly as strongly

his memory of the previous day was a little fuzzy, but as he got ready for school he remembered slowly

and suddenly, the memory of what he'd done to reigen hit him like a truck

he stopped brushing his teeth, blanching at the memories flooding him

oh no. oh no oh no oh no

what did I do???

he was immediately consumed with regret

he knew, of course, that he had developed feelings for reigen

but that was.

he used his powers on him

he gripped the sink

as the previous day replayed in his head, knuckles whitening from the pressure

he'd messed up

reigen definitely hated him, now

after something like that, using his powers on the one person he swore he never would, thought he'd never be able to, the one who taught him not to

he felt like he was going to cry

a knock disrupted his panic

"shigeo, your friend is here"

his mother's voice stopped his spiraling, even if it were temporary

"okay"

he finished brushing his teeth, wondering exactly which friend was here

he got dressed and made his way out

to where teru was waiting for him

he paled, "h-hey"

"hey, kageyama, let's walk together"

mob was worried, since teru was the one who'd gotten reigen away from him, he knew what had happened the day prior

"kageyama? you okay?"

mob didn't have time to reply, "no I mean, of

course you aren't, not after yesterday. that's why I'm here to talk to you"

he was shocked, but he calmed down and started walking with him

"reigen is fine, by the way," teru started, relief washing over mob, "he isnt hurt, and he wanted you to know he isn't mad at you, either"

mob stopped walking

he was surprised and so, so relieved to hear reigen wasn't mad (provided he wasn't lying)

"he meant it, too" teru supplied, as if reading mobs thoughts

"you're sure?" mob asked quietly

"he's a world class liar, that master of yours, but he meant this one"

teru sounded so sure, so mob believed him

"he has no reason to be mad," he continued, confusing mob

"you weren't in control, kageyama, he knows that"

"but I... used my powers"

"he knows that was unintentional, too"

mob wasn't so sure, but hearing it made him feel slightly

better

he managed to get through the school day, only beginning to dread returning to the office after his last class was over

he considered calling in, but before he could even pull up reigens number, his phone was ringing

reigen was calling him

"hello?"

"mob! just wanted

to let you know that I understand if you can't make it in today. don't feel pressured if you don't feel well!" reigen /sounded/ okay, at the very least. but mob knew better than to trust that alone

"shishou, I'm so sorry abou-"

"don't worry, mob, you didn't do anything you need

to apologize for," reigen brushed him off

mob huffed, "shishou. you know that isn't true," reigen started to interrupt him but he continued, "I used my powers on you, and..."

he heard reigen sigh through the phone, "mob... you couldn't control it. it's okay. heats are tough,"

it was mobs turn to sigh, "shishou,"

"I mean it, mob. it's okay. /I'm/ okay"

mob felt like crying again, "... you're sure?"

he could almost see reigens face, confident and smiling at him, "I'm sure, mob"

mob was glad this was a phone call, and reigen couldn't see him flush

red, "okay."

reigen didnt hang up, instead asking again if mob wanted to skip work today, ensuring that serizawa would be there if there was a real spirit

mob decided to take him up on the offer, electing to not risk repeating the previous encounter

his heat passed, and things gradually found a new normal. every few months mob would need to skip work for his heat, staying home (still dreaming of that first day, the feel of reigen against him, mind filling in more and more as time progressed), reigen missing a day every so often without telling why

(he was absolutely Not going to risk being in rut with mob around, no way)

the years past and eventually, mob was older, bolder, and more sure of his feelings for reigen

and reigen (bless his heart) started feeling the same, seeing mob fully grown, muscular but still thin,

taller, more confident than ever

he buried the memory of mobs body against him, only surfacing when he wasnt thinking clearly

but the memory didnt stay a memory for long

mob confessed to reigen, who protested despite wanting to reciprocate so, so badly

but mob was unrelenting

he could tell reigen felt the same

could feel reigens gaze on him when they ran together, when he used his powers, all the time really

could see the longing in his eyes when they separated for mob to go to college, the desire for his company when they went out for food together

he told reigen all of this, ignoring reigens assertions that mob was imagining things

mob didnt give up, however. he knew reigen was denying himself because he felt guilty for not being enough for mob

but mob knew, knew that reigen was the absolute best thing that ever happened

to him, and that ever would

he lifted his hand, inches from reigens chest, "do you trust me, reigen?"

reigen startled at the use of his name, no -shishou attached to it, but answered, "of course, mob"

he was, however, very, very worried because the last/first time mob had used his powers on him, well...

this time though, mob closed the distance between his hand and reigens chest, concentrating hard, and poured everything he felt about reigen into one telepathic pulse

reigen doubled over, tears forming in his eyes faster than he could process the information, "mob..? what?"

"my feelings for you"

reigen looked confused, but slowly realization hit him. tears fell down his cheeks as he clutched at his chest

"mob, I... I'm just an average guy, youre-"

"also just an average guy, shishou. I always have been,"

reigen looked

up at him, "mob, you're so much more than average, you're amazing, you're so strong and kind and-"

"and so are you, shishou."

"I'm not,"

"you're amazing, reigen. you changed my whole world, saved my life before it really even began. everything about you is perfect, and" he

took a breath, "and I love you, reigen"

reigen let out a sob he'd been trying to hold back at the words, "fuck," it took him a moment to compose himself, looking back up into mobs eyes, completely sincere, staring back at him,

"fuck, mob. I... I love you, too, mob"

mob only smiled wider at him, slightly mischievous, "I know," he said, "I just wanted to make sure you knew"

mob cradled one of reigens cheeks in his hand, wiping away the tear streak, leaning in enough to make his intentions clear

and reigen closed the gap eagerly, kissing him

/finally/ mob thought, closing his eyes and losing himself in the feeling of reigens lips pressed against his

reigen jolted at the quiet "click" from across the room, the defining sound of the office door locking

"mob... we're at work"

"we're alone, the shop is closed, and..."

he tucked his face into the crook of reigens neck, "I've wanted this for so, so long"

a shiver ran down reigens spine. he didn't need mob to tell him exactly how long, he could figure it out

still, "what if someone comes? tome has keys!"

mob pressed his lips to reigens neck,

"I'll hold the lock, if it comes to that,"

reigen could feel the protest leaving him, desire taking its place very quickly as mob continued nipping at his nape, "mob," he gathered his resolve, "we should do this in a bed,"

now, that was an argument mob couldn't argue with

mob reluctantly pulled away, "your place is closer"

reigen laughed, "yes it is,"

"would that be okay?"

reigen thought hard about the state of his apartment, he was sure hed left some trash around, not really anticipating..... any of this, really

"I suppose," he answered

mob stood quickly, extending his hand to help reigen up

"we're walking there, okay. taking our time." reigen asserted. he didn't want mob flying them over, and he needed some time to process that this was indeed a thing happening, make sure they're both sure about it

mob pouted, but agreed (reigen knew he wanted to rush)

they walked slowly, as promised, but anticipation stirred in both of them

reigen was surprised that... he wasn't doubting this. he was sure if he had a moment he'd think of some reason to turn mob down, but nothing came

he was confident that mob wanted this because /fuck/ he knew mob wanted this, and he... he wanted this, too. he has for a while now (not as long as mob but that's to be expected)

they arrived at his apartment, and he could feel the crackle of mobs aura

mob was barely holding

back, waiting impatiently as reigen opened the door

he'd been here a couple of times, short visits usually

nothing like this, of course

the door opened and mob was engulfed in reigens familiar scent

he slipped off his shoes, following reigen inside

they barely made it across

the room before mob was pulling reigen in close, burying his face in reigens neck again, breathing in deeply

he sat down on reigens bed for the first time ever, leading reigen to stand in front of him

"I want you, reigen," he said, pressing his lips to the skin of reigens neck again

reigen breathed deep, breathing in the smell of mob, "me too, mo- ... shigeo"

the sound of his name drew a small moan from him, desire building even more

he drew reigen in close, opening his legs to let reigen slot between them, lifting his face to kiss reigen properly

this time deepening the kiss, tongue pressing against reigens

reigen broke the kiss, panting, because he had a question he didnt know if he could handle the answer of

"have you... done this before?"

mob looked at reigen and shrugged, "ive kissed before... I tried to date teru for a while, but..."

he trailed off, but reigen understood

"so you've never. had sex?"

mob shook his head

reigen swallowed hard, it wasn't unbelievable, considering mobs age

mob looked at him expectantly, "and... you have..?"

reigen wanted to laugh, "I have...

"just, not. recently is all," shoutout to that one guy in college, he thought

mob nodded, accepting the information

mob lifted his hands to play at the collar of reigens shirt, slowly working the first button undone, watching reigen like he might just run away like a startled animal

reigen smiled, leaning in to bring their lips together, also getting started by pulling at the bottom hem of mobs shirt, letting his hands slide up against mobs torso, drawing quiet noises from mob, who continued unbuttoning reigens shirt

reigen slid his thumb across

mobs nipple, mob gasping against him at the sensation

reigen felt his shirt being pulled from his pants, the slide of the fabric against his groin causing him to let out a sharp breath, "shigeo..."

mob shivered, bringing his hands to explore reigens now exposed front, moaning

as reigen started tracing kisses down his neck

reigen lifted mobs shirt up the rest of the way, pulling it off of him, shrugging off his own before returning his hands to mobs toned chest

mob brought his hands to play at reigens belt, unbuckling it and pulling it loose, before

pressing one hand gently against reigens clothed dick, earning him a "ffuck, shigeo"

mob rubbed it gently, feeling reigens hips twitch forward to chase the feeling

he wants it in him

he unbuttoned reigens pants, slowly pulling down the zipper, before grabbing the waistband of the pants and boxers underneath, meeting reigens gaze as he pulled them downward, releasing reigens erection, letting the clothes fall to reigens feet

reigen stepped out of them, watching as mobs eyes traced down his body to stare at his cock

he laughed, "my eyes are up here, shigeo,"

mob blushed, realizing he was staring, "it's just. I just. I mean. it's"

"hm?"

"... big?"

this time it was reigens turn to blush, "right." he looked away from mobs eyes, "I mean im. an alpha, yknow?"

mob was painfully aware of the fact

mob didn't respond, just brought his hand back up to grab it, feeling the bump where reigens knot would grow, giving it one test stroke

reigen moaned, long and shaky and mob decided he wanted to hear that sound again and again and again

reigen wasnt about to leave everything to mob, though, and reached to unbutton mobs jeans, starting to pull them and his underwear down mobs legs, mob lifting off the bed just enough for reigen to slide them all the way down, reigen stepping away temporarily to pull them free, stepping back between mobs legs

"now who's staring" mob asked, smug

"that'd be me" reigen responded, unabashed

mob rolled his eyes, reaching to resume touching reigen

but reigen stopped him, placing his hand on mobs chest, pushing unyieldingly until mob understood and laid down, back hitting the bed as reigen loomed over him

reigen leaned down

reaching one hand underneath one of mobs knees, pulling it close enough for him to kiss the inside lightly, mob going bright red as reigen kissed up his thigh, closer and closer to his crotch, hand trailing behind it oh so sensually

mob moaned loudly as reigens lips brushed his dick, his hand coming to slide down, past his balls and press gently against his hole

mobs voice shook as he groaned, hands grasping wildly at the sheets below him

reigen didn't let up, licking a stripe up mobs dick before taking it into his mouth, sucking in and rubbing the underside with his tongue

he heard more than saw the objects in his room beginning to lift off their surfaces, and he figured it would probably be okay

probably

mobs breathing became more labored as reigen continued, starting to bob his head along mobs dick, rubbing at his entrance

"r- reigen... please"

reigen hummed against him, drawing another long moan from mob, before pressing harder against the hole, slipping his first finger in effortlessly

mob may not have had sex, but this was definitely not the first thing inside him, reigen thought

his insides were warm and soft, and reigen groaned at the thought of the feeling on his dick

he pushed the finger in and out, slick slowly building until he felt comfortable adding a second finger, drawing another moan from mob

he thought hard about adding a third finger, not really sure if it would be necessary, but his thoughts were brought to an end because mob was starting to ask for "more... more, reigen, please"

reigen decided to slide in a third, a low sound rumbling in mobs chest

reigen slid his fingers along mobs insides, feeling for the sweet spot inside him

he felt it soon, mob gasping as reigen began rubbing circles around it with his fingertips

mob whined, a string of "slow down"s and "stop"s halting reigen, who looked up at mob patiently

mob had to catch his breath before responding, "I don't... want to come yet... not until you're in me..." reigen moaned a little, lifting away from mobs dick, pulling his fingers free

"well... guess I'll have to get in you, then," reigen said bringing his hips forward, sliding himself along mobs wet hole, the head of his dick catching on it occasionally

mobs breath sped up again, incoherent "please"s and "fuck me"s coming from him

reigen hummed a moan at the sound of mob cursing, begging for him

he grabbed himself, holding steady as he pressed forward, sliding slowly into mob

mobs back arched slightly off the bed as he felt reigen spreading him open, so, so different from fingers or toys

he gasped for air, feeling his orgasm building much too soon for his liking

"oh, fuck, shigeo" reigen his hips snapping forward, unable to control himself, already close himself

mob moaned, feeling reigens hips against his ass briefly as reigen continued jerking in and out of him

"reigen. reigen, ohhhhnnnnn" mob tried to hold on, he wanted more, but he could hardly hold back, "reigen, Im... I'm gonna"

reigen tried to regain a sense of rhythm, trying to control his thrusts

"me, too, shigeo... fuck"

mob whined, feeling reigens dick starting to catch, knot swelling as he grew closer to coming

reigen pushed in one more thrust, before he could no longer pull out, feeling his body starting to tense as he started coming, pouring inside of mob

mob could feel the heat filling him, the sensation overwhelming him, coming hard against his belly, squeezing around reigen, the pressure causing both of them to let out long, shuddering moans

reigen spilled all he had into mob, knot receding enough for him to pull out, come dripping out of mob

reigen collapsed, falling onto his side next to mob, the two of them catching their breath

"fuck," reigen felt the now foreign desire for a smoke, feeling the waves of pleasure slowly dissipating, being replaced with contentment

mob laughed, "yeah," turning to smile at reigen, who in turn smiled back, laughter building in both of them until they were both giggling

"I love you, shigeo" reigen said, freely. honestly. confident and comfortable

mob felt his expression soften, looking back at reigen, "and I love you, rei-"

he paused, "arataka"

the name felt foreign on his tongue, but so, so right

"arataka" he said again, enjoying the feeling of the word in his mouth

reigen was beet red, enjoying the sound of his name ass name coming from mob

reigen pressed his forehead to mobs, enjoying the

closeness

mob was right

of course he was, he thought

how could he have ever said no to this

[da-millerrrrr]

More about Hollow Cleric Ritsu but it's just Jin Mei and Oboro both looking at his position in the present and being like "Oh he adjusted better than I thought". Because Ritsu is. Still Ritsu. He hasn't really drastically changed from the job like the either of them have and he hasn't really went and looked away from his goal. He looks fine.

Then he's crying over the fact that Hikari and Rai Mei are back and is snapping at Jin Mei and Kazan for pretending they were dead. And then those two think "Oh okay he adjusted the normal amount he's going through the stage where you start to realize how isolating the job it is"

Then they go and learn that while Ritsu did a good job ("A better job than either of us" according to Oboro) he's also got a fuck ton of Imposter Syndrome and is 20 seconds away from having a Breakdown from stress and they just both go "Okay he is doing worse actually and I don't like the fact that he's reminding me of me."

Then we get to the part where Ritsu just is stopping Hikari and the other Travelers from getting to the Tranquil Grotto flame, saying that it's stupid to hope and he isn't going to go and allow another fucking idea of hope be planted only for it to be fucking crushed again like all the other times in the past. And then meanwhile as Jin Mei and Oboro look at this they just glance at each other and kind of both go internally "Oh."

"Oh no."

OH NO INDEED

WHAT THE HELL

[dolugecat]

On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):

(Rb ok!)

Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):

Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)

There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.

Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)

I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.

Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.

Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)

With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.

I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.

But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!

[handlewcaare]

Who are you really, Gojo Satoru?

(⚠️⚠️⚠️Jujutsu Kaisen Spoilers ahead⚠️⚠️⚠️)

One of the key elements of mob psycho is that you are not the most important person. With all your special powers, your unique prowess with god and anime on your side, how great is that against learning how to do better in math? What about when you’re trying to woo a crush who’s already seen all your tricks?

That, in on its own, is the question Gojo Satoru has yet to answer for.

I can’t believe I’m doing a character analysis over this dumbass

If you’ve ever wondered a “what if Mob never had Reigen” scenario, Gojo is the closest example. This isn’t just evident in the way that he’s an absolute manchild with his powers because he feels like there will never be consequences to his actions, but the aspect that he cannot perceive his identity beyond “strength.”

The world of Shaman / the Society of Sorcerers all perceive someone by the value of their strength alone. It doesn’t matter if that person is intelligent, has stable moral groundings or is able to overcome the most extensive of trauma. What matters to them, in the end, is how strong you really are. This is what made Gojo valuable because he was born strong. He didn’t eat a wrinkly finger from a dead cursed spirit, nor did he build himself to achieve such strength; he was born with it and was constantly hunted by bounty hunters.

Imagine your parents saying that when you were born

Someone on Twitter did a psychoanalysis of Gojo and I couldn’t agree more that he was probably raised in the way “gifted kids” were; they had to always exceed their conservative / authoritarian parents’ expectations, if not they would be perceived as a disgrace to their family. It also clears up how Gojo turned out to be an absolute pompous brat later on.

Take that phrase: “When Gojo was born, the power of the world was altered” and compare that to someone like Mob, who was raised without a heavy expectation for shifting the entire foundation of ESP:

His father doesn’t do a comparison between espers, but rather how people waste away their lives without self-destructive indulgences like cigarettes.

From the day of his birth, Gojo became a practical poster child for said “limitless” potential. He wasn’t raised like Mob who just happened to have this great power, he was treated as if there was only one of him in the world (and there is!), but it mentally placed a child onto a pedestal and managed to severe his empathy to said “weak” links.

“Protect the weak” what, are we the fucking teen Titans now??

In the eyes of a teenage Satoru, caring for the weak is as annoying as babysitting screaming brats. The only reason as to why he would say that is because he lacked empathy for those who were perceived as weak. The reason as to why he didn’t understand them was that he wasn’t raised around them / raised to understand them. He isn’t going to a normal HS, he’s going to a Curse College Tech where everyone has powers—but none of them as powerful as him.

Mob’s middle school only has three known espers: Mob, Ritsu and Takenaka. Everyone else is either a kid, a member of the body improvement club, or they’re unimpressed with psychic powers.

That eventually leads up to where Gojo learned his valuable lesson from: Getou. The scene in which Getou leaves after he lost purpose in being a Shaman is the closest we’ve got to a question asked in Mp100. There’s many ways to interpret it, but Getou (and even Nanami) always felt like they were consistently shadowed by a man who could do anything—ANYTHING—as long as he gave it his all.

Gojo didn’t just get the Reigen talk that Mob did, he got the Reigen “you’re-an-adult-fighting-misguided-minors-with-superpowers-you’re-a-fucking-joke” talk.

It’s a parallel (not similar) to what we’ve seen in Mp100 where Reigen simply tells Mob to be a good person. Getou doesn’t tell Gojo to be good or terrible to others, he simply tells him that he could easily kill him if he tried. Yet, the question is what makes Gojo hesitate to end him there—as if being the strongest in a world that would sooner get rid of you once you lose your worth to it is meaningless if that is all you are.

Are you strong because you’re Kageyama Shigeo or are you Shigeo Kageyama because you’re strong?

This is what changes Gojo entirely, as he would sooner become a mentor for the next generation than to let his skin blister in the limelight longer than it has. However, the biggest factor that I’ve noticed about Gojo is that he doesn’t run away from the Shaman world afterward.

We don’t see Gojo in a Nanami-esque situation where he works as the wacky History teacher at some tiny highschool with unique powers. We don’t see him settle down with someone and have a family of his own, all while hiding his past to his children so he and his spouse can live comfortably. He, instead, wants to change the sorcery world from the inside-out because he doesn’t want his kids / the generations after him to become no better than the executives.

In a personal opinion, I think he still doesn’t know how to live without being a Shaman. Everything he does, he can do with just the right amount of elbow grease. He can literally become the prime minister, but it won’t give him a natural understanding of those he would mentor / massively shadow.

Watch your fucking profanity

In a twisted way, Gojo is trying to be what Getou would have been if he never defected. The only problem is that he’s not giving the next generation a broader insight of what lies beyond sorcerery. He doesn’t tell them that they have choices in life or informs them that they can astray from the tech. Instead, it’s borderline hypocritical where he expects the new generation to be able to change the world of sorcery without that insight. It only brings me, and even Gege, to ask this character:

How can you expect change if you, yourself, have never experienced it?

[mp100fanworkstranslation]

The Spirits and Such Patisserie: Part 2

Part 1 is here

The original comic is here: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/62284042

WELCOME TO OUR GRAND OPENING. The Patisserie division of Spirits and Such consultation office.

Everyone: WELCOME!! Reigen: Hey, there’s something unusual.... I’ve just now noticed.....

Reigen: BUSINESS IS REALLY GOOD ?!

Dimple: Yeah, why don’t you give up on the exorcism thing and just do this instead? 

And so the Patisserie opened by self-proclaimed psychic Reigen Arataka was an immediate sensation. Word spread quickly and people could not stop talking about it. 

Female customers: Are those the servers? They’re adorable.  Old Man: I curse you

And thus Reigen was able to find an outlet to fully express his clever ingenuity and his stubbornly resourceful, problem-solving soul

The desserts that he planned and directed the kids to make, received positive acclaim and great reviews. His showmanship was an instant hit. 

Reigen: SALT SPLASH!!

Teru: Thank you, come again!

Ritsu: Thank you for waiting

Mob - thinks as he works - I’ve been thinking about this.....but

Mob thinks: even working at a place like this, I don’t feel like I’m being accepted. (alt, translations: popular, belonging, being welcomed...etc) (He’s isolated himself again in the back and not interacting with anyone. Where as Shou, doing the exact same job is interacting with customers.)

Dimple: Really Shigeo? 

Eugh!! -Glass Shattering Noise as customer throws dish onto the ground-

Angry customer: Arrogant little shit. Who the hell do you think you are? 

Mob and Shou: RITSU! Ritsu: Sir, you’re being rude. No one asked you to come. You don’t belong here. 

Angry customer: WHAT DID YOU SAY? PIECE OF SHIT! YOU THINK YOU’RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME DON’T YOU?

Reigen: Sir!  My Apologies. Did our server do something wrong? 

Mob: Ritsu! Are you okay?  

Mob: There’s something odd about that customer.  hmmmmm...... Why did he...... Teru: I...dont think he......

Angry Customer: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Reigen: Sir, your unwelcomeness is not on others. It’s rooted in your own dishonest, self-loathing nature. 

Customer starts smashing things and terrorizing other diners.

Reigen: That’s enough!

Reigen: Acceptance and belonging requires constant work to foster connections. Even a middle schooler with no special athletic talents can put in the work to train himself everyday to gain acceptance.

But your problem is that you wont work to change yourself. Casting yourself as the victim only allows you to blame the results of your own actions on others and gives you an excuse to treat them badly. 

Ritsu: It appeared....

Spirit Appears: SHUT UP!

Would it have hurt anyone to show me some kindness, to give me ONE piece of chocolate?  Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate.... that’s all everyone talks about on valentines day.

I’ve never even received Giri Chocolate. ( Valentines Day in Japan: chocolates are given to both romantic partners and friends and acquaintances. Homemade Chocolate (Honmei) is a romantic gesture. Store bought Chocolate (Giri) is given to friends, acquaintances, coworkers as thank you gifts, not letting people feel left out, and obligation to higher ups at work.)

I never had any friends or even acquaintances...... I died without ever receiving any chocolate... not a single person cared about me. No one. There was never anyone.

So I’ll take all of you with me. 

All of you can die with.....

Spirit:....me  -Crackling noise as spirit is exorcised-

Reigen: Is it over? 

To be continued in part III

[radiodread]

that whole yayoi thing also made me think back to the mafuyuki kiss scene in the classroom. yuki just.... opens his eyes. and looks directly at hiiragi. it's kind of a testament to hiiragi's apathy in canon that this fact goes unmentioned (or just the kind of personality yuki had to make that normal) but imagine if that scene had happened at the uenoyama household instead in this au. like in their kitchen. yayoi comes into the room, and yuki just looks right at her while he's still kissing her brother. I feel like yayoi would find that unsettling (because it just kinda is), and even after yuki's death she might not know what to make of it.

for this to work better we could also say that yuki was over there a lot? we don't know how much this would be true in canon since hiiragi would have no way of knowing, but yayoi would.

so let's imagine.

yuki is always over at their house, always attatched to ritsuka, and they always seem to be singing or humming some kind of tune together... until they stop. until yuki barely comes over anymore, if at all, and ritsuka tells her he's in a band now. he's working part time jobs to pay for it. he doesn't have to say anything for her to know how much he hates it. he's almost always sulking, or holing up in his room, and it's all so obvious. yayoi almost wants to confront yuki, give him a piece of her mind, but she doesn't get a chance. one day ritsuka comes home and he's... spaced out. almost completely unresponsive, staring into the middle distance with a furrow to his brow. there are moments where he seems so angry, infuriated, and others where he looks completely blank. he almost looks like he's going to cry, but he doesn't. yayoi can put together what happened pretty easily; he always got quiet when he and yuki fought. but never like this.

two days later, he goes completely catatonic. he comes home, in the morning, slides to the ground in front of the doorway and doesn't move. yayoi hears the news from yuki's mom-- she knew her well, from association with ritsuka and yuki being close-- and she doesn't know what to say. she says nothing to ritsuka, ritsuka says nothing back. they go to the funeral, and neither of them shed a tear. yayoi keeps a hand on ritsuka's shoulder, but still says nothing.

ritsuka stops talking to shizusumi and hiiragi. he starts carrying yuki's guitar around, holding it in front of him like a shield. the strings (the unbroken ones) rust. life just seems to... go on. ritsuka keeps going to school. yayoi keeps going to university, keeps seeing haruki. he notices something is off with her pretty quick (how could it not be, yuki is dead and her brother might be halfway there but she doesn't know because they don't talk-) but she doesn't tell him why. she acts like nothing is wrong. ritsuka seems to do the same. he starts talking to her again, in general, but never about yuki. never about that damn guitar that he carries everywhere with him (like a burden of guilt, like a penance, like a reminder).

until she sees the guitar out of its case one day. and the strings have been replaced.

(how did we get to this fucking essay good lord)

Ohhhhh that is a GOOD thing to point out, that kiss in the classroom, but in this AU to make it in like the Uenoyama's kitchen or something so Yayoi would walk in on them and Yuki could give her that indeed very unsettling stare that his canon self gives Hiiragi. I feel like that's something that maybe Yayoi would think about every now and then after Yuki's death and she'd worry about if she should tell Ritsuka and how she would, in that case. Because it would probably come off as insensitive after Yuki's death, and especially if Ritsuka would be blaming himself for it and all that. Ah.

Since Yuki and Mafuyu in canon were over at each other's places a lot (probably mostly at Yuki's, if even just going by that one flashback Hiiragi had from when they were really young) so I think it would absolutely work in this AU too, that Yuki's over at Ritsuka's a lot. Especially since Yuki was a latchkey kid and home alone a lot- I think he'd be over at the Uenoyama's often to feel like he had people around him?

Also holy shit wow I love that. I love that entire bit seen from Yayoi's POV with how Ritsuka would show outwardly but not tell her everything that's bothering him. And of course it would make sense that Yayoi would find out from Saeko about Yuki, and then the funeral... and then Ritsuka carrying the guitar around. AND YAYOI SEEING THE STRINGS REPLACED ONE DAY. Ohhhhhh WOW. YES.

... Can I commission you to write this because hoo boy this was good. 😂