#and he ALSO has a rb with a pretty face and fat ass what is the pattern here

[allpromarlo]

teams that have a beautiful, vibrant running back with glowing skin and long hair and a qb that looks like he got pulled out of a sewage pipe >>>>>>>>

[soulhoodt]

Welp...thought Id post this on here. I highly doubt itll get read but anyway... My name is Torri, most just call me “Soul”. Im a 22year old photographer/chicken entrepreneur from Hampton, Virginia. My life has always felt like that shard feeling your skin gets from falling off your bike on cement. Alot of things that has happend in my past im struggling to get over in my adult life. It took me till I was 17 to realize I had been somewhat brainwashed about “life” and whats really important like saving money, planning for the future, etc. Ive been tryna unwind that for the past 4 years. I struggle with depression and ADHD sooo bad. Being in a great state of sadess with no focus is toxic. Ill drop into a depression like I missed the last stair. I didnt even realize why I was so sad, always in my pitch black room (it was a really dark purple), and always crying (for hoursss, nobody knew) till I went to a university therapist when I was bout 19! Ugh this is so much I dont even know where to begin. The woman who birthed me, I always felt she made sure I had what I needed physically but damn sure not mentally. I think all this negativity and unecessary heart ache has just taken a toll on me. Im crying out for help and im so lost at this point. Its like I try to forget my old life and move on the past just jumps back in front of me and I get unmotivated, sad, and stuck. How do I get out of this terrible mindset?....So let me back up a bit. I grew up in a very “square” part of the world. If you didnt look a certain way, dress a certain way or skinny enough, your ass got fried. and I could never take jokes on me well. I try so hard to be confident and not clinch on to people words and opinions but when youre told that youre a ugly fatass everyday and asked “what you got on?” And gettin shoved and pushed everyday after lunch (thanks Kirby) that shit stays with you. (I never thought I had a sloppy shape but I guess so) Even fat remarks from my own momma smh. Im a Different type chick, and that equals “freak” around here so ive always been ridiculed for that too. Different how? Ive always dressed in my own way, thought about things differently than most folks and downright goofy! (Yes, can make myself laugh and I think im the coolest person in the world 😎) Band was a disaster also at least in the beginning. The only place and time I could escape back then was when I had my drum on (bass drum, 28 & a 16) and we did our shows...Honestly that was a highlight of my life and thats the only thing that really used to keep a -real- smile on my face. Im definately that person that was the class clown and but crying behind closed doors. Dont let me get started with boys. Let me just say #rejection. Never had a boyfriend or anything positive in that department and ill leave it at that. Also im thinking the fact my dad has been incarcerated my entire life has affected me too. Maybe I wouldve had the right structure to lead me on this path..IT DEFINATELY kills me that he wasnt here physically and I have a whole side of family that I dont know in Chicago and Jackson, Mississippi. Also a older half sister Ive never met. Its scary she looks just like me if I was mixed....I feel like a lost puppy just tryna find my way through this crazy world. I graduated high school in 2013 and went to Norfolk state for a year, but didnt do well. Ive never been much of a scholar. My feelings were so deep and I didnt even realize I needed help. I shouldve talked to someone. Suicide has definately been a option for me twice, but I didnt do it. Literally im stuck between life or jumping off a fuckin bridge next smh. Now that ive come to a head about who I am (sort of) and where I wanna be, and what I wanna do with my life I just need to figure out a way how Im gonna get there. From this this shitty standpoint of my life. Ill do a part 2 soon this is getting pretty lengthy. If youve read this far, thank you. If you have any advice please leave me some ☹️ (oh yeah RB so others can read)

[leagueofawesomedudes]

Week 2 Preview

Yup! Just like that we are right back at it as week 2 gets under way.  Big questions of the week?  Will Paul overcome losing the future HOFer Danny Woodhead?  That’s a lot of grit to replace.  Will your commish back up his shit talk against Bennett and pound him? And what happens in the biggest rivalry of the friend group Sam vs TJ?  Also I would like to take a minute to cross sports here and say great job to the Tribe on their 21 game win streak.  That is almost as impressive as TJ’s 6 month relationship.  Congrats on the sex!

Hollas Heavy Hitts (1-0) vs Little Diggs (1-0)

Everyone’s favorite Holla coming off a high of taking down the Commish week one taking on everyone’s least favorite Dom.  Just kidding……maybe?  Watch for this to be a shootout between the teams.  They are pretty even across the board at every position.  In fact their two best WRs are playing each other on TNF (Holla has Nuke and Dom has AJ) so that cancels out the disadvantage of playing on a Thursday.  Holla will need a big game out of Martavis Bryant to get this W.  With that being said I do think Dom has the slight edge in this as Stefon Diggs & Ty Montgomery will try to keep up with their hot starts.  If those two don’t show up, Dom will be out of this matchup as quickly as he ditched our friend group the second Schillig moved downtown.

Little Diggs > Hollas Heavy Hitters

Ain’t EZ Bein Breesy (0-1) vs Crows before Hoes (0-1)

Solden, Solden, Solden. It only took one week for him to realize that his team was horrendous and that he needed to shake things up to have any chance at going .500 this year.  And then we have Paul who this weekend will be on his 69th (nice) vacation of the year.  I swear he’s spent more time on an airplane than he has in the office since 2016. Soldy is in for a tough one this week as Drew Brees faces New England.  I know New England’s D is ass, but watch for Brady to have the ball the majority of this game keeping Brees off of the field.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned in 24 years of life, it’s that Tommy doesn’t lose back to back games.  He’s so good he worked his way into this preview and he isn’t even on either roster.  Paul gains two of his better players back this week with Mike Evans and Jay Ajayi. And also starts himself at running back this week…..wait never mind that’s 5’6 ft Tarik Cohen.  He could probably go for 20 yds vs Bama’s defense since he put up 66 against the defending NFC Champs Falcons last week.  Solden I like your strategy of getting Terrelle Pryor and Robby G, but mainly because I got Antonio Brown as a result.  Mike Evans leads the way this week.

Crows before Hoes > Ain’t EZ Being Breesy

The Brady Bunch (0-1) vs The Injured Reserve (1-0)

Doug invited me to an Indians game this week so I obviously can’t pick against him.  With that being said I wouldn’t since Casey just lost the focal point of his roster David Johnson for the majority (if not all) of fantasy season.  Doug has Brady going against New Orleans and Case has Russel Wilson up against SF. Both QBs should be in for a big day. But there’s a better chance of Col. Sanders eating a cheeseburger than there is me betting against #Tommy.  Casey will really rel heavily on the Pats feeding Gillislee on the goal line again to get some points and hang in on this matchup. Choll also looking for production out of his wideouts Tyreek Hill, Keenan Allen & Sammy Watkins who all produce when healthy.  None of them are banged up as of now.  And then when you look at the rest of his roster…….Wait a second…could it be?  Fuck it, Casey takes this pig.

The Injured Reserve > The Brady Bunch

Jon SnOBJs (0-1) vs G-reg 3rd leg (0-1)

LOAD Presidente will be showing off his new and improved herpes free penis and fantasy roster this weekend.  Ska Daddy will be banking on two of his favorite white people Aaron Rodgers & Jordy Pipes Nelson to put up some fat points this week.  Mmmmmm sry Matty, Adrian Peterson still won’t do shit.  He’s a downhill runner in a zone offense.  I will look to rebound off my piss poor 0-1 start.  But I’m just like the Pats, I try to work out all of the kinks the first 4 weeks and start my run from there.  Bennett has a bad season pretty much every year and I always call him out, yet I manage to be one of the only teams he beats season after season.  It’s all about matchups breh, and he’s had my number. But that changes Sunday when AB, OBJ & Beast Mode bring the hurt on Bennett and leave him sitting on his couch covered in tissues.  Sad tissues that is.

Jon SnOBJs > G-reg 3rd leg

GAME OF THE WEEK

2 Gurleys 1 Cup (1-0) vs Julio Tones (1-0)

Two teams that nobody wants to play.  One of the most anticipated matchups of the season!  These two hate each other.  This might be worse than Trump & Hillary.  Constant arguments in the GroupMe & in person on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter what the topic is, TJ and Sam do not agree.  In fact, Doug and Casey might have had the matchup of the week if TJ & Sam didn’t have so much hate for each other.  Sam the 3 time defending Champ and TJ, someone who is drooling for a penis.  And championship.  None the less this game will be close as these guys have playmakers all across the board.  TJ’s team is probably better off with David Carr than Andrew Luck & Jameis goes for his first game of the season for Sammy.  Easily the best RB matchup of the season as Sam has LeVeon Bell & Todd Todd Todd Todd Todd Todd Gurley.  TJ has Zeke & Dalvin Cook.  Where do you find a weakness to pick who wins this match up?  Some would say Zeke going against Denver’s defense.  FALSE, Denver’s run defense absolutely blows.  They always have, including the year they won the Super Bowl.  To find the advantage, have to go all the way down to comparing the flex position where Sam gets the edge w/ Adam Thielen over TJ’s TY Hilton.  It’s always a better bet to go possession WR over banking on a speedy playmaker in a PPR league, but Sam without a doubt has the edge going into this week since the Colts don’t have a QB with Luck being injured. I won’t be surprised if TJ gives me my first loss of the year in predictions (Because I will get all 4 above correct) but I am giving this weeks’ win to Sam.  

2 Gurleys 1 Cup > Julio Tones

That’s it for this weeks’ preview boys.  Dom will be writing the preview next week and Solden the following.  The bar has been set high these past two weeks so keep this thing rolling.

Signing off, LOAD Presidente.