#and hanzo becomes much happier and content as a woman

[tossball-stick]

i need so so badly to write transfem hanzo yeehan or bapzo or hanweaver..... her finally coming out to them maybe. it wouldnt be pretty. i always picture her coming out as a sort of violent ripping from the closet but in the sense that she'd probably just. not transition. at all. if she wasnt nudged towards it. its easier to just keep being the older brother its familiar even if its traumatic to her. she has to go crying to her partner, nearly throwing up from her gasps for breath, screaming in anguish about these feelings that continue to claw at her insides. and they need to hold her and say "han, love, i think you might be a woman" and they have to frown and have their own face twist into one of confusion and worry as she has to confront that fact. that theres nothing wrong with her that can be easily fixed. she has to change she has to adapt she has to take her life into her own hands here. as much as shes still so tired, and wants anything but to deal with this whole gender thing right now.... her brother transitioned earlier and look how happy he always was. the thought makes her sick. how everything wrong with her seems to simply stem from the fact that she had a role to fill, and she chose to fill that role rather than rebel with her brother. that single choice seems to have constantly ruined her life day in day out and she has to keep uncovering new ways that that single choice kept her so so chained her whole life.

everything stems from her choice to fill the role of the older brother, not to actually be one. she never could be one. she was never even a boy.