#and hanging w them after work was like seeing a completely different person. it was cool! i miss them :(

[organic-bloodbath]

hello! could I request literally anything w chishiya x pregnant!reader? maybe how he (and the rest of the group) would take care of reader during and in between games? thank you sm!

Child of Hearts

Chishiya x Pregnant!Reader

Summary: Chishiya takes care of you after you two have been separated from the rest of your friends.

A/N: Please request me more Chishiya i need this man so bad. I hope this is alright 🫶🏻 (mind you, i have never been pregnant myself so i might not know what the hell i'm talking about)

Part 2

♤♡♧◇

Running away from a man shooting every person in sight with a huge rifle was a big challenge when you were 7 months pregnant. You didn't know what the gun was called, but when the bullet hit its target, it would basically cut your body in half. Hiding behind a car would be useless, as the car would be in pieces as well.

Running fast enough was already difficult, almost impossible, but your heavy stomach, bearing another human being, was making it a lot harder. It didn't take long to be out of breath and your legs were going to betray you any moment. Chishiya's hand was pulling you forward and you could barely keep up. He would soon have to drag your body against the ground, and then you'd both be dead.

This was it. You had played several games, somehow been able to beat them all with the help of your friends, which was a miracle itself. Especially without Arisu, Usagi, Kuina and Chishiya you would have died ages ago.

Before your pregnancy, you had been quite a fast runner and could run fast for a long period of time. Now? The total opposite.

Finally, you could sit down on the ground, leaning against a car. You had to only hope that the shooter had passed you and wasn't going to blow it up.

"You doing okay?" Chishiya looked at you with concern when you closed your eyes and threw your head back, breathing loudly.

"Yeah, yeah, i'm fine," you nodded, barely being able to talk. "Just can't run anymore."

Seeing a massive airship floating in the sky almost right above you, a large playing card hanging from it, you finally came into a conclusion what was going on.

"Well, he must be the King of Spades," Chishiya said next to you, leaning against the car.

Absolutely amazing - now the entire Tokyo was a game arena?

The shooting had stopped for a moment, but the shooter – or more specifically the King, should you call him – could come out from any corner at any second, surprising you completely.

Ann arrived with a car, telling all of you to hop in. However, Chishiya was left behind, because of a grenade that had been thrown between him and the car.

As were you with him.

♤♡♧◇

The others were gone now, driven away with the car. You and Chishiya were left alone to find a way to survive on your own. You were relieved to have Chishiya with you, he was extremely smart and knew how to survive different situations.

Previously many of your teammates had helped you, but now it was just the two of you. For a second you were slightly afraid that taking care of you alone would become too much to Chishiya if the King of Spades found you out of all people and started chasing you. You could tell that running with you was challenging to him.

You were starving, not remembering when was the last time you got proper food, and eventually found a small grocery store which windows had been shattered.

Chishiya started browsing for food while you waited, leaning against the counter. Soon, he came back with the most suitable and edible food he could find in this situation.

"Cash or credit?"

"Aren't you a little too pregnant to be working?"

"Don't underestimate me, Doctor Shuntaro," you teased him.

You pretended to scan each item like you had worked here for years.

"Thank you for shopping with us, please come again," you said with your best customer service voice.

"You definitely deserve the best worker of the month award," he praised you, almost impressed, and clapped his hands a few times.

"Finally someone gives my work credit," you said, hand on your chest.

There was a small table and two chairs by the window. You and Chishiya dragged them away from the window, so you could sit down in the back of the room and not be seen to anyone possibly walking past the store.

"Here you go," Chishiya said and offered you food and a plastic fork, along with a bottle of water, as you sat down. "It's not much but it's the best i got now without any electricity to heat it up."

"Thank you," you said quietly.

You ate in comfortable silence. You hadn't realized how dizzy you had started to feel after all the running and having not eaten or drank water in hours.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" Chishiya asked when he was finished with his meal and put his hand gently on yours, looking concerned.

"Yeah, i'm fine," you mumbled and stretched a little. "My back just hurts."

"Let's take a break and lay down for a while, okay?"

"But shouldn't we stay on the move? The King of Spades might come back and-"

"We'll be safe enough here for a while. Take a short nap, i'll keep an eye on the surroundings," he insisted. "You need more rest than me."

You were sleepy, so you weren't going to resist too much. You hadn't slept properly in a while.

Chishiya watched you sleep on your left side, your head on his lap to use as a pillow. You clinged on his leg with both of your arms, and he gently brushed your hair with his fingers to soothe you to sleep.

You were so beautiful, and he knew that he didn't say it to you often enough - as often as you would have deserved.

Chishiya was terrified every second of being in this world, having to play the games with you on his side. He wasn't afraid of many things, but you? If he lost you, he'd also lose your baby. His unborn child. And that was easily his biggest fear.

You had been in a relationship together for the past three years, and the pregnancy hadn't been planned, at all. Chishiya wasn't sure if he would ever want children, and when you told him that you were pregnant, he didn't know what to think. But it didn't take him too long to get used to the idea of becoming a father. And having you as the mother was everything he could have wished for.

You, however, hadn't considered becoming a mother at this age and had cried in the bathroom for an hour after seeing the two lines on the pregnancy test. Now, as the months had passed, you had gotten used to the idea of having a child and were more ready with Chishiya's constant support, who you loved and trusted with all your heart.

You just had to finish the rest of the games and hopefully, you could then return home - before you'd start delivering the baby.

♤♡♧◇

You entered a new game with Chishiya inside an old prison.

Jack of Hearts - Solitary confinement.

This was absolutely the ideal game for you, since all you could do was just chill and sit around until it was time to go into your little prison cell to announce the correct symbol on the back of your collar. And for that, you had Chishiya revealing it for you. As long as Chishiya was there for you, you had nothing to worry about.

People formed groups, telling each other everyone's symbols, so other people could confirm they were telling the truth.

"Hi," a girl in a blue dress greeted with an eager smile, approaching you. "Want to join our group?"

You glanced at Chishiya, unsure, but nodded your head.

"Sure, why not," you shrugged. Mom always told you to try and be more social.

Slowly, as the rounds went by, people started to lie and betray each other, which ended up more and more people being eliminated. This was a Heart's game, after all, it was supposed to mess with both your head and heart.

"Listen, let me worry about the game, you just remember your symbol and rest, okay?" Chishiya had said earlier, giving your hand a squeeze.

Chishiya had been eyeing the other people and trying to study any hints that could lead him to reveal someone as the Jack of Hearts. He hadn't told you much about his thoughts, probably still trying to decide his opinions on the players.

Right now, you sat at the table, looking towards the group which was sharing their symbols with each other. It was like watching a high school drama all over again, except now people were getting killed.

"Here," Chishiya said, sitting next you, and laid food on the table in front of you. "You need to eat."

He had grabbed two different kinds of crackers, a bottle of water, some orange juice, and a can of soup.

"I just did, i'm fine," you tried to refuse, even though you knew you could have eaten a little bit more. Chishiya just stared at you with no expression on his face.

"Yes, but you need to eat more, since you're eating for two," he insisted and wasn't having a 'no' for an answer.

You rolled your eyes, and he noticed it, giving you a look.

"Fine, fine, Doctor Shuntaro," you smirked.

After you had finished eating, you went to the bathroom again - you were sure you'd have to pee every hour. Washing your hands and your face, you heard someone arriving to the bathroom.

"Hello," a young girl greeted you nervously, taking careful steps towards you. "Sorry to bother you, but could you tell me the symbol on my collar? I don't really trust my group anymore and, well, you seem nice."

"Um, sure," you mumbled and looked at the girl's symbol. "It's a diamond."

"You sure?"

"I have fully functional eyes."

"Thank you so much," the girl said, giving you an excited smile.

You didn't bother to include yourself in that drama club and lie for no proper reason, you had decided to keep your distance to them since you didn't need help with your symbol. You doubted any of them would be the Jack, but who knew - the Jack could be a girl too, after all. If they started manipulating and lying to each other, that was on them.

A few more rounds passed, and you were starting to become really sleepy. By now you had been at the prison for 8 hours and you had no idea how much longer all this would take. Chishiya had been feeding you crackers and other snacks almost every hour, now that you had food available a lot easier.

You wondered if your friends were alright, though you knew all of them were strong and if they had survived this far, they must be able to handle anything. Still, of course you couldn't help but to worry.

You walked around the place and tried to search for a corner to take a quick nap, there was 36 minutes left until you had to go back to your cell.

Then, you had to stop walking when you felt sudden pain and pressure on your stomach. You let out a loud gasp, startling any few people nearby and make them look at you. You leaned against the nearest wall, so you wouldn't fall on the floor.

No, no, no, no. You weren't going to start delivering your baby a month or two early. Especially in the middle of the game where there was a time limit and a chance to be killed. Of course they wouldn't stop the game for a moment if there was a woman on labour.

Chishiya had heard you and instantly ran towards you. His eyes widened when you were holding your stomach in pain.

"Y/N? What's happening?" Chishiya asked, trying to hide his panic so you wouldn't start to freak out even more.

"I-I don't know," you mumbled and truly started to panic. "It just hurts. I don't know. Oh my god, Chishiya, I-"

"Okay, calm down. You're having contractions, it doesn't necessarily mean the baby's coming, okay?" he tried to reassure you, his hand on your cheek. "Look at me. Just breathe, take a deep breath."

You did as he told, taking deep breaths and squeezing Chishiya's hand every time the waves of pain took hold of your stomach. If this hurt, you didn't want to know how much it hurt to push the baby out of you - your pain tolerance was extremely poor.

"I can't do this, any of this, i'm-"

"Yes, you can, darling," Chishiya said softly.

After some time, it stopped. You sat on the floor, back against the wall, for the next twenty minutes, Chishiya holding your hand the entire time and gently rubbing your back.

"See? Everything's fine," he said calmly and put his arm around you, keeping you close against him.

"You know," you started, eyes starting to water. "I haven't felt any movements from the baby in a few days. What if something's wrong?"

"Listen," Chishiya said. "Contractions are normal, even when the baby won't come yet. The baby might not move every day, it's normal. You'll just have to stay calm and try to avoid too much stress. And i know that's a lot to ask for in our current situation."

You nodded, unsure, but trying to believe his words as well as possible. He was a doctor after all, right?

"Next round, we'll get you a place to sleep for a moment," Chishiya promised. There was 9 minutes left to announce your symbols.

"You know, when the baby will be born, we'll have a lot more different story on how the pregnancy went than other expecting mothers," you chuckled. "Like, not many moms can say that they've run away from a shooter while being on their third trimester of their pregnancy."

Chishiya smiled. "Or spent a day in a prison with no actual guards around."

An older man walked past you, still sitting on the floor, leaning against Chishiya.

"My God. Are you okay? How on earth have you survived this far being pregnant like that?" he asked in shock, surely seen the scene just a moment ago.

"Well, i've had a lot of help," you shrugged.

You had been used to people commenting on your pregnancy. Every time you met someone knew, they just stared at your stomach for too long, feeling bad for you and considering you the weakest player of the group. You stood out from the rest of the people around, it was understandable. At first it had bothered you, but now you were so tired of it you just felt numb.

Arriving to the Beach for the first time, the entire pool party had quieted down for a moment when people saw you.

"Here, it is required to only wear a swimsuit," they had announced, but looking at you, they let you wear more clothes. Thank god for that. You weren't exactly very fond of showing off your stretch marks and everything. You had been given shorts and an oversized t-shirt - it was the same shirt you still had on.

In the end of the current game, only four people came out from the cells alive, after the Jack had guessed the wrong symbol, and left the prison, two of them you and Chishiya. It had been the first game where you could have actually relaxed and sat back for a while.

If there had been a proper bed, you wouldn't have minded to stay a bit longer too.

"So, what now?" you asked.

"We'll try to find a place to spend the night."

It was becoming the night and you had been walking almost half an hour on the streets, trying to find a good place to hide and sleep.

You found a small hostel, completely abandoned and empty, and found your way into one of the rooms. The door was locked, but Chishiya could easily pick the lock open. You were able to sleep on a real bed again, you could have started crying from even the thought of it. The sheets weren't fresh at all and the blanket was really thin, but you couldn't complain.

You laid yourself on the bed, it felt so good to feel an actual mattress and a pillow under you, you felt like your body could melt there like a cotton candy in water. Chishiya came to lay down next to you after removing his shirt, warming you better with his bare skin. He cupped your cheek and pulled you in a sweet kiss.

Suddenly, you winced when you felt a kick inside your stomach. Chishiya immediately sat up, concerned.

"What's wrong? Did the contractions start again?"

You grabbed his hand and put it on your stomach, trying the correct spot to find any movements, and when he felt a kick right against his hand, he flinched and a smile spread on his lips.

You started laughing, with a few tears of relief and happiness, and he laughed a little too.

"We'll be alright," Chishiya whispered. He hugged you and kissed your forehead.

"I hope so," you said quietly.

"I love you," he whispered and looked you deep into your eyes. "You know that, right?"

"Are you saying that in case the King of Spades comes to shoot us in our sleep?" you teased. "Honestly, that would definitely be cheating."

"I doubt he's going to find us here," he assured you and pressed a kiss on your hair. "Good night."

"Good night," you answered and turned on your side. Chishiya's arm wrapped around your stomach, pulling you against his chest.

[candycandy00]

The Doll House - A Nanami x Reader Fanfic Part 1

 Despite your crippling fear of men, your family sells you to the Doll House. Luckily, you end up with the handsome, gentlemanly Nanami as your trainer, and he’s about to show you how great a man can be. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Read Geto’s Part Here!

Read Toji’s Part Here!

Read Sukuna’s Part Here!

Read Gojo’s Part Here!

Read Choso’s Part Here!

Note: Please remember that these stories don’t take place at the same time, or even one after the other! Consider each one its own timeline. So if you see Geto and Toji with other dolls, don’t be alarmed lol. I had to do it this way because if I don’t, by the time I get to the last trainer, there won’t be any other trainers left to interact with!

On the outskirts of town, there stands a particular shop called the “Doll House”. Inside its walls you can find a “doll” to match any taste you might have. All your desires will be fulfilled, no matter how depraved. Satisfaction is guaranteed! The dolls are exceptionally high quality, thanks to the skillful trainers who work with them twenty-four hours a day, molding them into perfect toys for your enjoyment.

Each trainer has a specialty that they focus on, and they all take great pride in their work. Their methods differ greatly, their approaches vary, but they all follow one rule: never get attached to a doll. After the training is complete, they hand the dolls over to their new owners, and never see them again. However, just once over the course of their careers, trainers are allowed to pick a doll they’ve personally trained and keep her as their own.

AU! Each trainer will get their own story! This is Nanami’s. If you’d like to be tagged in future parts, let me know! You must be an adult to be tagged! Any feedback whatsoever is adored! I’m keeping the same tag list as Geto’s part. If you’d like to be removed, please let me know!

Note: Consider these parts AU’s within an AU. So you might see Geto with a different doll from the reader in his part, but just consider this an alternate timeline lol.

Smut. 18+. Fem Reader. Daddy kink. Hair pulling. Oral sex. Fingering. Divider by @benkeibear!

Ever since you can remember, you’ve had a crippling fear of men. Your father died when you were so small, you have no memories of him. You have no brothers, no uncles you’ve ever met, and you don’t even remember playing with any boy cousins as a child. Throughout your education, you only went to all girl schools. Otherwise, you’ve avoided going out in public as much as possible. 

As a child, your older sister told you scary stories about men being brutish monsters who only wanted to hurt girls. Looking back, you understand now that she was only teasing you. But those stories combined with the fact that you’ve never even had a full conversation with a man before has left you with quite the phobia. 

Even though you’ve watched movies and tv shows and seen men in that context, you’re still afraid of them. The fact that you find lots of fictional men attractive only confuses your emotions even more. You’ve spent years watching animated shows with men way too handsome to ever be real, developing crushes on them because they felt safe.

And your favorite, the one you’ve always been in love with despite him being made of ink and paper, is Prince Sebastian. In the cartoon, he’s a tall, muscular, blonde prince who is always a perfect gentleman to the women around him, always there to protect them from danger. Despite being an adult now, you still have a poster hanging on your bedroom wall featuring him. 

Now, you find yourself standing in the welcome room of the Doll House, waiting to meet your trainer. How did it come to this? Just yesterday you were cooped up in your room, playing video games. Then this morning, your aunt who raised you and your sister stormed into your room and announced that she was selling you to the Doll House. You thought she was joking at first. What she was saying was unthinkable! She was rich! She didn’t need the money! Sure, she’s been complaining a lot lately about you staying in your room all day, but you didn’t think she was this angry! 

You screamed, you cried, you made quite the scene. But then she told you that if you refused to sign the contract, she was kicking you out of her house and completely cutting you off. So you could live in a nice house with a rich man, or you could live under a bridge. To you, both options were terrifying. But one was slightly worse. 

If you live under a bridge, how would you watch your favorite shows or play your games? And who knows how many unsavory men would approach you? Dealing with one man would be much better. Or so you’ve been telling yourself since you got here. But… now that you’re here, and there’s a strange man on his way to get you and do unspeakable things to you… you can’t do it! 

You make a run for it, even though you’ve already signed the contract and met the owner, even though your aunt dropped you off and told you not to come back, you run out of the welcome room and into the front lobby, toward the exit. But just before you reach the door, you hear footsteps and voices behind you. One of them sounds like the owner, calling out your name. You’re so startled that you trip and crash to the floor, pulling off a perfectly humiliating face plant. 

For a moment, you just lie there, feeling stunned and defeated, the adrenaline that fueled your brief escape attempt all gone. Tears sting your eyes as you begin to cry, hiccuping pathetically as your shoulders shake. 

“Are you alright, miss?”

At the sound of a male voice, your body freezes up in terror. You turn your head to the side so you can look up. A man is squatting down beside you, holding out his hand. 

“Let me help you up,” he says in a soft voice. 

You blink away your tears as you stare at his face, and you realize something that momentarily shocks the fear right out of you. He looks exactly like Prince Sebastian! That blonde hair, those kind eyes, that muscular shape! It’s like the character just walked out of the tv! You never thought a real flesh and blood man could ever be as beautiful as Prince Sebastian, yet here he was! 

Still stunned, you take his offered hand and allow him to gently pull you up. It’s the first time you remember actually touching a man. 

He hands you a white handkerchief, spotlessly clean, and you use it to wipe your eyes. “Thanks,” you mumble, reaching the handkerchief back to him. 

“My name is Nanami Kento. I’m your trainer,” he says, and you can’t help staring at him. He’s your trainer? Prince Sebastian? Maybe this won’t be so bad after all. But no, you can’t let your guard down! He might be ridiculously handsome, but he’s still a man! 

You introduce yourself in a small, quivering voice. He nods and then calls over the lady working behind the front counter. “Can you take her to my room, please? And make sure she has whatever she needs.”

The lady smiles and nods, then heads back toward the welcome room. “Follow me. We’ll grab your suitcase on the way!”

Numbly, you follow after her. 

************************

Nanami waits until his new doll has left the room, then turns to the owner. “When you said she has a fear of men, I didn’t realize it was this bad,” he says, sighing. “So what’s going on? You normally don’t accept dolls who were clearly forced or coerced into signing the contract. She obviously doesn’t want to be a doll.”

The owner gives a sigh of her own. “Her aunt came and spoke to me yesterday. Apparently she threatened to throw the girl out if she didn’t sign.”

“Coercion,” Nanami says. “Despicable. So why did you accept?”

The owner looks him in the eye. “The aunt said that if I didn’t take the girl, they were going to sell her on the direct market. You know how things work there. It would be like tossing that girl into a lion’s den blindfolded and with her hands tied behind her back.” The owner pauses and sighs again. “I thought that if she’s trained by someone like you, at least it would be like tossing her in there with a sword and a shield. At least she’d have a fighting chance.”

She has a point. The whole situation leavrs a bad taste in Nanami’s mouth though. “So why is she afraid of men? Any past trauma I should be aware of?”

“None,” the owner says. “She’s just never been around men in her whole life. No male relatives. Went to all girl schools.”

“Hmm.”

“And Nanami,” the owner adds, her voice dropping a bit lower, “I know you’re not going to like this, but you’ll have to deflower her. Ordinarily I’d keep her a virgin and charge a premium for her, but in this case I think sending her out so unprepared would be exceedingly cruel.”

He looks toward the door the poor doll had disappeared through. “Only if she agrees to it.”

The owner nods. “Of course. Oh, and stay sharp. There’s something off about this whole thing. Her aunt is wealthy, and she even took half what I would usually offer. She seemed really determined to have the girl trained here. There might be something else going on.”

Nanami looks at the owner. “A punishment perhaps?”

“That’s what I’m thinking. But the contract was signed so we’ll see where this goes.”

*********************

Inside your trainer’s room, you find the place impeccably neat and orderly. There’s a large bookshelf filled with difficult-looking tomes, though you do spot a few fantasy novels you’ve read yourself. The bed is so smoothly made that you wonder if he even sleeps in it. The dresser has several bottles of expensive-looking cologne, and a peek in the closet reveals a wardrobe of stylish, fancy clothes in brands even you, who grew up in a wealthy family, haven’t heard of. They’re probably brands that focus on menswear, something you would be clueless about. 

The lady from the front desk sits your suitcase on the floor beside the closet and smiles at you. “You hit the jackpot, miss. Nanami is an excellent trainer.”

“He is?” you ask, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. 

The lady laughs. “Let’s just say that if I had to pick one of the trainers to be mine, I’d pick him in a heartbeat. He’s respectful and kind, and not to mention handsome. The dolls he trains are always sad to leave!”

That made you feel a little better, and you were grateful to her for trying to put you at ease. “Thanks for telling me,” you say. “That’s really good to know.”

She smiles and nods and leaves the room, and it only takes a few moments for your anxiety to return. Your trainer will be coming in here any minute. He’ll probably make you strip! He’ll make you touch him! He’ll touch you! Even if he’s gorgeous, you can’t handle that! 

You hurry over to the lone window in his room. It overlooks the back parking lot. You push the window up, opening it, and lean out to look down. The Doll House’s structure is elevated a several feet off the ground, but it’s still only one story. The drop doesn’t look too bad. You sling one leg out over the ledge, leaving you straddling the window. Just then, the door opens, and your trainer walks in. 

It only takes him a moment to assess the situation and realize what you’re doing. He rushes toward you, and in a panic you try to jump out, but your other foot catches on the window sill. You fall at a strange angle, reflexively reaching out with one hand to grab the ledge, screaming as you do. Your trainer is quick to action, lunging forward and grabbing your arm. 

Nanami pulls you back in through the window, and the two of you fall to the carpeted floor, you on top of him. Did he purposely turn so that his body would shield you from the fall? His strong arms are wrapped around you, holding you firmly but gently. You look up at him, and he seems upset. You let out a squeak of terror and scurry away from him, backing into the wall, still sitting on the floor. 

He stands up and dusts himself off. Oh no! Did his fancy clothes get dirty? Is he mad now? He looks at you with a strange expression. Something between exasperation and concern. “Before you hurt yourself trying to escape,” he begins, walking over to a polished shelf and pouring what looks like water into a glass, “why don’t we talk?” He steps over and hands you the glass. You take it, then sip the water. 

“Okay,” you say, feeling stupid now as you tuck your knees under yourself. 

“Let’s go over a few things,” he says. “First of all, I’m not going to hurt you. If there’s any pain involved in what we do, it will be thoroughly discussed and agreed upon beforehand. I’ll respect your boundaries. I won’t do anything that you don’t consent to.”

That doesn’t sound so bad. You start to relax just a little. 

“That being said, the more training you receive while you’re here, the easier things will be for you when you’re purchased,” he says. “I’m not here to make you miserable. I’m here to prepare you for the next ten years. It would be to your benefit to experience as many things as possible here, with me, in an environment where your wishes are respected, before you end up with an owner who might not be so patient.”

You know what he’s saying. “You mean, I should have s-sex with you.”

He nods. “That would be my recommendation, yes. But I won’t force you to do anything. It has to be your decision, and you don’t have to decide right away. For now, why don’t we start with something simple, like letting me help you up?”

He extends his hand to you, for the second time today. Earlier, you were so stunned by his resemblance to Prince Sebastian that you took his hand easily. Now, you hesitate, staring at him for a moment before reaching up and letting his large, warm hand envelope yours. He pulls you to your feet, and you end up standing so close you can see his face more clearly than ever. Ahhh, he really is incredibly handsome! 

“Now, is there anything else you’d like to try?”

You blink. “Right now?”

“If you want. Or we can wait until you’ve had more time to adjust.”

You think for a while. His muscular frame looks so inviting. You’re not sure how much you can handle, but you want to try. 

“Would a hug be okay?” 

He seems a little surprised, but he smiles softly at you. “Sure,” he says, before slowly putting his arms around you and pulling you into his embrace. It actually feels really nice! And he smells so good! For a brief time, you almost want him to make love to you right then and there. Your brain is filled with thoughts of him picking you up and carrying you to his bed, of him taking charge, pulling off your clothes, having his way with you. The thoughts leave you blushing, and you pull away. 

“That wasn’t so bad,” you tell him as he gestures for you to sit in a plush chair beside a table. 

“When the training begins, there will be some rules,” he says, sitting down in a matching chair on the other side of the table. “You are to refer to me as ‘Daddy’ at all times. If you misbehave, I’ll punish you. But, as I said, that’s something we can discuss and ease you into.”

You feel your heart pounding rapidly. Calling him Daddy? Punishment? It sounds terrifying, but also strangely hot. You’ve watched porn before, so you know a little about daddy kinks. You’ve always been kinda turned on when the man calls the woman “good girl”. You just never imagined, in your wildest dreams or nightmares, that you would end up in a situation like that. When you watched porn, it always felt distant, like something happening in another world. You’ve even masturbated to it, still never once imagining yourself in those positions. Men in “real life” were far too scary. 

“I’m going to leave the ball in your court,” he says. “You can tell me when you’re ready to officially start the training. Until then, I’ll keep a respectable distance and let you get accustomed to being here.”

His words are very reassuring. You can feel your anxiety beginning to melt away. Maybe, just maybe, you can get over your fear with a gentleman like him. 

That night, Nanami sleeps on a borrowed futon on the floor, giving you the bed. You feel terrible about that, but also relieved. While a small part of you was excited by the prospect of sharing a bed with him, a much bigger part was scared out of your mind to be in such close proximity to a man all night long. 

For three days, nothing really happens between you and your trainer. You do feel slightly more comfortable with him, sharing a room and a bathroom will do that, but aside from a couple more hugs and some accidental brushing of elbows, he hasn’t touched you. Deep down, you’re a little disappointed by that. 

You accompany him to the dining hall for meals, and you’ve met the other trainers. Most of them stay away from you, even as Nanami introduces them. You figure he’s informed them of your phobia. Just one of them occasionally comes a little closer than you’re comfortable with: the one named Gojo. He’s friendly and not at all threatening, but he’s still a man. So when he stops by the table you’re sitting at with Nanami, you can’t help sliding away from him a little, which results in you sliding closer to your trainer. 

On your fourth day at the Doll House, you come to a decision. It’s time to face your fears and begin the training! 

You wait until after dinner to tell Nanami. He’s standing at his dresser, loosening his tie in a way that makes you extremely weak. He occasionally makes polite conversation with you, but oftentimes he simply reads for a while before showering and going to sleep on the futon. Tonight, you approach him at the dresser. 

“Um, I think I’m ready to start now,” you say, your voice a bit shaky despite your best efforts to stay calm. 

He turns and looks at you. “Are you certain?”

You nod. “As certain as I’ll ever be.”

“Alright, then we need to discuss a few things.”

You feel yourself droop. You’ve hyped yourself up for some wild sexy times, but now you have to talk first? You really hope this conversation doesn’t get too awkward. 

“First of all, you should choose a safe word. Are you familiar with that term?” he asks. 

You are, or rather you’ve heard it used in porn or the smutty stories you read online, but you’re too embarrassed to admit that. “Not really,” you say. 

“You choose a word or short phrase that wouldn’t normally be used in the bedroom, and whenever you say it, I’ll stop whatever I’m doing. If you’re genuinely afraid or something hurts or just makes you uncomfortable, say the safe word. We’ll stop immediately and only resume once you’re comfortable again.”

“Okay. How about… snowcone?” you ask. 

“Snowcone? That’s fine. Don’t forget it,” he says. 

“I won’t.”

“Now, part of my training involves light punishment for bad behavior. Mostly spankings, hair pulling, and things of that nature. Nothing that’s going to seriously hurt. Is that something you can handle?”

You suspected as much, but hearing him say it out loud, in that smooth voice of his, makes you feel dizzy. The thought of being spanked by this man as he calls you a bad girl turns you on way more than you expected. It also scares you. A man! Touching you! But you beat back down the panic that’s threatening to undermine your decision and nod. “I think so. I want to try at least.”

He walks over to his bed and sits down. His legs are spread apart as he undoes the first few buttons of his shirt and then runs a hand through his perfectly styled hair, leaving it a little bit messy with a few strands hanging over one eye. He gives you a look that nearly makes you buckle, and says, “Come over here and show daddy what a good girl you can be.”

Your jaw nearly drops, your breath gets caught in your throat, and your only response is to say, “I’ll be right back!” and flee to the bathroom. 

Slamming the door shut behind you, you grab a fluffy towel from a shelf and press it to your face, using it to muffle a scream. Is it a scream of terror? Of excitement? Even you don’t know. You pant for a few moments, trying to pull yourself together. 

He’s hot! He’s soooo hot! 

But he’s a man! 

He looks just like Prince Sebastian! 

But he’s a man! 

After several more deep breaths, you feel the panic subsiding. You can do this! You step out of the bathroom as if you’d simply powdered your nose and walk back over to Nanami. “Sorry, I just needed a moment,” you say, hoping he didn’t hear your garbled scream. 

He gives you a small, amused smile. He definitely heard it! But he only says, “That’s fine. Take your time.”

Ahhh! He’s such a gentleman! You want him to do unspeakable things to you! 

“C-can we start over?” 

“Of course. I believe I told you to show me what a good girl you can be,” he said. 

“Okay,” you say, feeling even more awkward than usual standing there in front of him. “How should I do that?”

He gives you another one of those sultry looks. “You can start by coming closer and getting on your knees.”

Oh shit. He wants you to suck him off! Can you do it? You’ve seen it done in porn countless times. Yes, you can do it! And after you’re done, maybe he’ll pat your head and call you a good girl! Ahhh! Just imagining it has your heart pounding! 

You take the few steps needed to be directly in front of him, so close he could hug you if he wanted to. Then you get on your knees, right between his thighs. You glance up at him, unsure of what you should do next. Do you open his pants? Wait for him to do it? This is a daddy kink scenario, so maybe you can just mimic what you’ve seen and read online. You look up at him with wide eyes. “What do you want me to do, Daddy?”

There’s a flicker of surprise on his face, but then he leans back slightly on his hands and says, “I’ll let you decide. What do you think would make Daddy happiest right now?”

You hesitate for just a moment more, then reach up and unbuckle his belt. Your hands are trembling as you unbutton and unzip his pants. This is it! You’re going to see and touch a real man’s cock! You see his boxers when you open his pants, black and classy. With your heart hammering wildly in your chest, you grip the waistband and pull it down, under a dick that seems way bigger than it should be. But what would you know? 

With one hand, you lightly wrap your fingers around the hard, hot organ. Feeling unsure, you gently move your hand up and down the length. It’s too dry! Isn’t it supposed to be slippery? Wait… maybe that’s why women in porn often lick or drool on it. You glance up at his face, and there’s no change in his expression. Should you just spit on it? But that doesn’t seem like a very “good girl” thing to do. 

“Can I lick it, Daddy?”

“If you want to,” he answers. 

Slowly, you lean forward and touch your tongue to the tip. You thought it would taste bad, but really there’s no taste at all. The only thing you detect is the pleasant scent of bodywash. Of course someone like him would keep himself immaculately clean. You move your tongue all around the tip, licking it the way you would a popsicle, then you move your tongue down the shaft, toward the base, trying to get it as wet as possible. You hear him exhale a breath, and your eyes dart up to his face. He looks like he’s enjoying this! 

You feel his hand in your hair, and then all at once he’s got most of it gathered in his grip, holding it firmly. It doesn’t hurt, but it does make you feel like he’s completely in control of this situation, and that in itself makes you wet. 

“Take it in your mouth,” he says, his grip on your hair getting just a little tighter. 

Eager to please him, you do as you’re told, letting him fill your mouth with his cock. It’s a scary feeling at first, as you adjust to breathing only through your nose and occasionally gagging around him when he slips a little too far down your throat. But somehow his hand pulling your hair is comforting. You realize you like being led. 

He pushes your head up and down his length, slowly at first, gently. It’s more like he’s guiding you than forcing you. Gradually he ups the pace, going a bit deeper into your throat, which automatically constricts around him. By now your lips are covered in drool and the sticky fluid leaking from his tip, making them glide along the shaft easily. 

After several minutes, you hear his voice again. “I’m going to cum,” he says, a very slight strain to his tone. “Don’t spill a drop.”

Before you can do anything to react to his words, his grip on your hair tightens as he pushes your head down, his cock going halfway down your throat. You feel the warm cum shooting out, sliding directly down to your stomach. You swallowed it all without even getting the chance to taste it.  

After he pulls out of your mouth, he gives you a few moments to catch your breath, then his hand releases your hair and rubs your head. “Good girl,” he says, and you think you might just faint. 

The hand rubbing your head slides down your neck, your shoulder, and then grips your wrist. He pulls you to your feet, and then into his lap. You’re sitting on one of his muscular thighs as he deftly tucks his dick back into his pants with one hand. His other hand is holding you in place, the arm wrapped around you from behind. 

“Are you alright?” he asks, a kind look in his eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you say, surprised by how true that is. 

“Then, since you’re being so good for Daddy, why don’t I reward you?” he says, his free hand slipping under your skirt, between your legs. 

Your body jerks in surprise, and if he wasn’t holding you firmly in place, you probably would have tumbled out of his lap. His eyes are on your face, watching carefully, as his hand slowly slides down, inside the front of your panties. He’s taking his time, giving you ample opportunity to use the safe word. But you don’t, because despite the fear you’re currently feeling, you don’t want him to stop. 

His fingers softly rub your most private place, gently parting the slick flesh, one finger quickly finding your clit. You gasp and clutch his arm, the sensations nearly overwhelming you. 

“Does that feel good?” he asks, his voice close to your ear. 

You nod your head, murmuring, “Mmhm.”

His fingers traces circles around your sensitive nub, then strokes it, making you release little mewling cries. 

“Tell me how it feels,” he says, almost in a whisper. “Use your words.”

“It feels… so good, Daddy! S-so so good! Nothing has ever felt so good!”

You suddenly wrap both arms around his neck and bury your face in his shoulder. The pleasure is too intense! He’s way too good at this! His fingers never stop, even as you quiver in his grip, even when you cry out “Daddy!” as you cum, your whole body shaking. 

While you’re still trembling through your orgasm, with his hand still in your panties, he says, “There’s another rule you need to be aware of. In my training, you have to earn pleasure by being a good girl. You’re not allowed to pleasure yourself. Do you understand?”

You nod against his shoulder, feeling too dazed to speak. 

The hand that was holding you in place moves up to grip your hair and pull your head back so he can see your face. It’s not a harsh action, but a firm one. “Do you understand?”

“Y-yes, Daddy,” you say, and he releases your hair, then smoothes it down gently.

“That’s my good girl.”

**********************

Nanami sits in a chair in his room, thumbing through a book he bought recently and sipping wine. His doll is fast asleep in his bed, exhausted from the intense training session. 

He had made sure she was okay, physically and emotionally, before drawing a hot bath for her in his private bathroom and then later helping her into bed. They will be sharing the bed now that the training has begun, and she seemed okay with that before she fell asleep. 

Nanami is actually quite surprised by her. He had guessed it would be at least a week before she would be willing to try any sort of training, but here she is on the fourth day, practically swallowing his cock. She’s facing her fears, and that’s admirable. 

Though her escape attempts and nervous, terrified energy are exasperating, he also has to admit that he finds her amusing. Earlier, when she ran to the bathroom to scream, it was all he could do to hold back his laughter when she returned and acted as if nothing happened. She was definitely a strange one. 

He closes the book and stands up to stretch. His mind is already full of plans for tomorrow, for the various training exercises he can try with her. He doesn’t want to push her too far and make her fear of men worse, but he also wants to make sure she’s fully prepared for her life as a doll. He’ll do all he can to help her, that much is certain. 

Tag List:

@suguguro @kaedear @onyxsphynx @poopoobuttsy @butterskyy @collectionofdolls @akaotv @witchbybirth @bloofinntoona @wasurenagusaa @tclbts @tojirin @lucyrocks86 @badbyeyoongi @97britt @aydene @lzaj19 @lyn-lotte @missthatgirl @peachedtv @ladytamayolover @nanam1nx 

[ultimate-polyship-tourney]

Ultimate Polyship Tournament:Round 83|Side B

Propaganda under the cut:

Quinnfoxtress

Now I think I am the only person on the planet who ships this, and it may be mainly in a very specific AU of mine, but I have justifications! Ventress, Fox, and Quinlan all have shockingly similar problems (all caused by the same guy, even). Quinlan is constantly willingly putting himself in dangerous situations, pretending to be someone he isn't, and submerging himself in darkness in the hopes of keeping others safe. Ventress never got a chance to know who she was, because it was ripped away from her over and over again by different men, and like Quinlan, she's the one witnessing the dark underbelly of the galaxy, the one doing what she has to to survive, the one building her own morals and sense of self. Fox isn't even considered a person by law, and his job is to oversee a gigantic machine of unstoppable horrors and to be one little wheel in it, keeping it turning. He's never been allowed to choose practically anything for himself. And he works behind the scenes, knowing exactly what it takes to keep that machine running. And even besides that, all three have such deliciously complementary personalities (Fox has no canon personality so we're just using fanon here): Ventress is angry and cold, completely closed off from vulnerability and acting like an amoral assassin/bounty hunter/Sith as the case may be, but over and over again, when she is presented with a vulnerable person in a position of oppression (usually one she understands well, having been kidnapped and enslaved and then "rescued" and abused), she chooses mercy. She is complicated and fighting for herself in a world that's never granted her ownership of herself. Fox is somewhat similar, closed off and unemotive and taking actions that are usually only somewhat morally defensible. But he is fiercely loyal to his Guard, to the point of sacrificing his health to take on work that would otherwise be theirs to do. Quinlan is flirtatious and outrageous, open on the surface but using his reputation as a maverick to mask his pain, self-loathing, and trauma. He is deeply empathetic, to the point of literally being able to sense the thoughts and emotions of people by touching objects they have. He seems so different from both Fox and Ventress on the surface, but he has the same lack of vulnerability out of self-protection, the same deep care for others, the same immersion in The Horrors, and the same issues with his identity. Plus, they all live on/frequent the same planet. I could see Ventress and Quinlan forming a frenemies-with-benefits thing after working together by happenstance or by choice on enough of Quinlan's investigations, especially considering that Ventress wants revenge on the Sith as much as Quinlan wants them taken out. Ventress and Fox could absolutely have some kind of secret relationship that's somewhat pseudononymous where they can just let loose together, joyride, fuck someone up, whatever (Ventress getting to actually Have Fun for once and Fox needing a break where he doesn't have to Perform). Quinlan and Fox would of course most likely first meet in a professional setting, but I could see them bantering and getting Very Attached to one another in a "as long as you show up once in a while I know it's all okay" thing, especially if they ever get to steal a quiet moment together or two. Now it's only in AUs where all three can really know about everyone else's relationships and function as a polycule, but I could absolutely see it working. Ventress would LOVE having two boyfriends, Quinlan was voted Most Likely To Have Both A Boyfriend And A Girlfriend by every yearbook he's ever been in, and Fox? Fox just wants to have nice things and insane people to hang out with.

Monkey D. Luffy/Zoro Roronoa/Sanji/Nami/Usopp

They're ultimate besties and lovers with insane inter-dynamics with each other <3

[sadhours]

Okay okay, I love your work and I was really thinking something w Flayed!Billy?? Ya know some kinky, dark, smut type shi if you’re into that sort of thing🫢 IF NOT just ignore my lewd ass, have a good day<3

i might be a little too excited at the idea. hope this tickles your fancy.

warnings: 18+ minors dni, rough sex, spanking, slapping, spitting, consent is a tiny bit iffy in this, still consenting though!!! it’s flayed!billy so hey

taglist: @bbyhargrove

Something is drastically off about your boyfriend. At first, it isn’t outrightly obvious. It was almost like how he would behave after a particular brutal fight with his father. He would slip behind shadows and hide away from you, the walls you’d spent months tearing down built themselves back up right before your very eyes. And this was similar yet more sinister, like he wasn’t really there anymore. Billy still showed up at your house routinely, as he did every night on his way home from work but he started leaving early. You never knew what you were going to get; a grumpy yet normal Billy or a complete shell of himself who was quiet and stared off at walls like he could see something inside them.

Tonight, he doesn’t show up until really late. It’s after midnight and you’ve already tucked yourself into bed when you’re started by your window sliding open and a shirtless and barefoot Billy climbing through it. You sit up, bringing your knees up to your chest as you peer up at your almost unrecognizable boyfriend. He’s completely drenched in sweat, his eyes look terrified but his body language reads differently. Bruises scatter his forearm and there’s another small one on his cheekbone but they don’t look like normal bruises, they’re black.

“B-Billy?” your voice is weak, finding yourself scared of him while concerned, “What’s wrong?”

He steps close to your bed, grabbing roughly on your ankle and dragging you to the edge of the bed. Blue eyes beg you to see him and not the huge shadow taking control of his body. You stare up at him fearfully, gasping as he grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls you up to him. It’s all so confusing but you can read the arousal in his eyes and you’ve always liked when Billy was rough with you. You’d just wished he’d explain what the hell had been going on with him.

“Shh, baby,” he drawls out, pressing his finger to your lips.

Looking up in his eyes, you grab onto his biceps but he’s quickly grabbing hold of your wrists and pinning them against the bed as he straddles your waist. There’s something sadistically wrong in his touch but you find your body igniting in anticipation for it. Billy grabs your wrists together in his left hand and pins them above your head, his right coming down to your nightshirt and ripping it open. You hear the buttons scattering to the wood floor and then something shifts in his demeanor for a brief moment.

“Tell me to stop,” he mutters, gruffly.

Your mouth hangs open as you realize you do not want him to. This isn’t like anything you two have done before, Billy was never this aggressive but you like it, a lot.

“No,” you pant out, “don’t want you to stop.”

It’s like he’s possessed or he’s got split personalities the way his body language changes in seconds and he’s back to tearing the rest of your clothes off. His fingers curl around your throat, squeezing as his eyes bore down into your wide ones.

“Fuck,” he grunts, “I wanna do awful things to you.” like a curse, like he’s confessing sins.

A garbled noise escapes your throat as you struggle for air, the lack of it leaves you light headed and dizzy but makes your cunt pulse. Billy lets go but only to flip you over on your stomach, he grabs a handful of your hair with his left hand and scoots your hips with his right, your face shoved in your pillows with your ass up. His left hand doesn’t move, the other smooths along your backside before delivering a harsh, smack. The sound of it echos in your room and the impact stings, hurts in the most delicious way. You’re sure your asscheek has a bright red handprint scarring it. If it didn’t, it does with the second and third strikes. You feel completely out of control, totally powerless and it’s extremely freeing. Maybe Billy’s behavior change isn’t such a bad thing.

“I want to hurt you,” he admits like he’s ashamed of the fact, his voice strained and trembling.

Tilting your head slightly to make sure he can hear you, you spit out, “Hurt me, Billy.”

“I shouldn’t,” he pants out, squeezing his eyes shut before gritting his teeth. He looks like he’s trying to contain something from bubbling up to the surface. He’s never looked so conflicted and you wonder if you should tell him to stop. But you can feel your slick smearing down your thighs and he said he wants to so you think he should. You’d let him do anything he goddamn pleases. You’d let him choke all the air of you and say thank you the entire time. You wiggle your ass at him, looking back over your shoulder. Billy exhales sharply before delivering another merciless smack, gripping his nails into the flesh as he makes contact. You’re fluorescent under his touch, beaming and bright. Neither of you knew how desperately you wanted this.

He shoves two fingers into your dripping hole without warning, pumping his fingers recklessly and it’s painful in a gratifying kind of way. Tiny, uncontrollable yelps tumble out of your mouth with every punch. Billy uses his grip on your hair to pull you up on your knees, his fingers inside your pussy don’t falter for a second while he lets go of your hair and wraps his left hand around your neck. You can feel the sticky sweat on his chest on your back, you wonder what the hell he was up to before breaking into your window briefly before you’re once again light headed and brain goes all fuzzy.

“Billy,” you choke out his name when he pulls his fingers out.

He brings them around and spreads your slick all over your lips, then grabs a hold of your face. His breathing is erratic, almost like he’s growling into your ear. Teeth sink into your earlobe, biting hard before he’s shoving you face first onto the bed. Feeling his weight shift off of the bed, you quickly flip over to see what he’s doing. You need more, you won’t let him stop or leave. You’ll beg, cry, plead if you have to. He’s standing next to your bed, glaring down at you like he hates your guts and you feel yourself shudder under his piercing blue eyes.

Nimble fingers work at his pants, unbuttoning them before you even realize you’re doing it. He grabs your wrist, pulling it back and laughs at you. The rumble of it makes you gasp, looking up at him with hurt eyes. The hold he has on you is firm, teetering on bone-breaking.

“You think you have some fucking control here?” he chastises, voice deeper than you’ve ever heard.

“I—“ you swallow the lump in your throat.

“‘Cause you don’t,” he grabs your cheeks again, squishing them together, “Fucking none. Zero, zip, zilch.”

Billy’s smiling but it isn’t kind, laced with venom and disdain. You lick it up, reeling on how small you feel. He towers over you, smile falling as he pulls your jaw open with his hand. You watch as he gathers the saliva in his mouth and spits on you, most of it lands on your tongue. He allows you to close your mouth and you swallow, doe eyes staring up to express your eagerness to please him. He winds his hand back and brings it back to your cheek with a sharp force, turning your head with it.

Smack! The sound accompanying a cry from you that echoes throughout the dark four walls. You’re relieved your parents are away for the weekend but Billy has no idea that’s the case, it seems he doesn’t care. You feel the warm tears streaming down your cheeks, soothes the burning skin only briefly. Billy’s pushing his jeans down, revealing his lack of underwear and unveiling his hard cock. You whine at the sight of it, imagining the stretch of him filling you up.

He laughs again, then pouts his lips mockingly and tilts his head, “Poor baby. So needy for my cock.”

Billy grabs a hold of your biceps, presses your back to the mattress and positions himself between your thighs. Breathing heavy, you stare up at your altered boyfriend. His gaze softens, almost too quick for you to notice as he speaks, “You’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?”

There’s something nefarious prodding the question. Whatever’s changed about him is why he’s asking. But it’s an easy answer. Billy can see it in your eyes, can dig through the devotion deep inside and exploit it.

“Yes,” you breathe, “Anything.”

Another laugh, more quiet but drawn from satisfaction. Sinks into the promise with it’s ugly, sharp teeth. You’ve got no clue but you regret admitting it.

Billy lowers his lips to your jaw, you expect a kiss but he bites. Continues biting, jaw to neck to shoulder. Each one shocks you to your core, deep and you’re sure you’re bleeding somewhere. Then his hands are on your hips, grip tight and harsh enough to leave bruises. You wince but Billy dips his fingers back between your legs and knows you like it. He laughs again, face in front of yours and for the first time you notice how different he smells. Panic subsides when he sheaths his cock deep into your aching walls with one quick motion. He usually takes that part slow, allows you to warm up to his overwhelming size. The sharp pain is welcomed by your frenzied desire. Yet another distinction that something is off with Billy is the selfishness of his thrusts, lets you know the act is for his own pleasure and he couldn’t be bothered to make sure you get yours.

But it’s Billy, just the fact of that is enough for you. You get off on him getting off. He bends your legs up, pressing your thighs to your chest while he holds the back of them and relentlessly drills into you. The sounds of his skin slapping yours makes your head feel warm and dizzy. He fixes his position just slightly and God. Each thrust, the fat head of his cock hammers against your g-spot. It’s excruciatingly raw and ugh.

You groan, low and guttural as you clutch at your bed spread. Billy’s fingernails scratch at your thighs, breaking skin and leaving pink, tender marks in their wake. His teeth scrape against his bottom lip, eyes sweet while the rest of him radiates raw filth. You’re his little toy, to use at his disposal. You’ll give him every little bit of you to abuse and manipulate how he wants. Billy fucking owns you.

“Billy,” you ache, all over but loving every second of it.

“You’re my little fuck doll, huh?” the filth dripping his words urge more out of you, arousal pouring out of you, coating his hips and thighs.

“Fuck yes,” you grit your teeth, walls tightening around his length.

“Say it,” he slaps your face again, not as harsh as the first but enough to sting.

“I’m your little fuck doll,” you pant out.

“I can do whatever the fuck I want to you and you’d still be begging for more,” he states.

You try to nod, you’re not really in control of your body. You’re somewhere else, on cloud nine, hanging onto the looming bliss of Billy fucking you raw and open. He’s pulling away, pulling out and you whine in protest, a pathetic sound.

“Oh, shut up,” he seethes, grabbing your ankles and dragging you to the edge of the bed like you weigh nothing.

He grabs a hold of you, forcing you to stand up with him. Your legs shake and you have to hold onto him so you don’t collapse onto the floor. Billy pushes you over the mattress, your chest pressed against it with your ass exposed. He delivers another hard smack to your raw asscheek and you fucking scream. It hurts, stinging that spreads all over your thighs. Billy does nothing to soothe the pain. He holds onto your waist, pinning you to the bed as he slams his cock back inside of you. Another scream erupts from you, hurts your throat in a delicious way. His fingers twist into your hair again and he pulls, forcing your back to arch. His hips jolt forward, rhythm building steady as shoves your face into the mattress which muffles the flood of moans and yelps boiling out of you. Quicker than you want, you’re coming. Your cunt spasms around his cock, but Billy’s thrusts don’t falter for a second. He’s fucking laughing at your orgasm, which just makes it hit you that much harder. It’s brutal, ripping through you viscously. Takes absolutely everything out of you and you tense up, body frozen while he keeps pounding into your raw pussy. You fall limp against the bed, crying into the comforter as he pushes you further into you.

Then he’s off you, hand pulling you up by your hair and shoving you to your knees.

“Open your fucking mouth, slut,” he orders.

Obeying like your life depends on it, you peer up at him eagerly and stick your tongue out. Billy stokes his cock, points it at your face and shoots his load all over it. He groans with it, low and coarse. His voice sounds like it’s about to give out, like he’s been yelling all night. He squats down, spreads his cum all over your face before smacking it hard. You whimper. It’s the hottest thing Billy’s ever done to you. You want more.

So when he throws your clothes back at you after pulling his pants up and says, “Get dressed. I’m taking you somewhere.” you listen. You wipe his cum off your face with your shirt before putting it on and follow him outside to his Camaro. He drives and drives. Pulls up to Brimborn Steel Works. This place hasn’t been open in years. Billy grabs a duffel bag from his trunk and ushers you inside. He drops the bag and tells you to lay down. You do and he opens the bag, pulls out rope. You look at him with uncertainty.

“You’d do anything for me, right?”

You nod.

“I have to tie you up,” he looks down at you, that evil look back in his eye.

“Okay,” you extend your wrists to him and Billy fucking hogties you.

He lifts you in his arms. He’s always been strong but seems stronger. He carries you down the stairs and lays you on the ground, lowers his lips to your ear.

“Stay very still,” he whispers and stands back, taking a few steps away from you.

You try to listen but when you hear the squelching steps hidden in the shadows, your turn your head and see a huge monster step into the moonlight. The being growls, steps closer as you sob. As you glance back up to Billy, he’s as stoic as ever, eyes glued to the multi-legged beast while you scream for it all to stop.

[impala1967dwinchester]

Sam Winchester: Fate

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

Pov: Reader/Sam

Warnings: Monsters as usual (Dijnn), depression, pregnancy, fighting

Summary: With Y/n on the run, Sam's depression can't help but get the best of him while the fate of his relationship and child hangs in the balance.

WC- 2.677k

A/n- @firefly-graphics for dividers, This is a part 2 of something I wrote nearly a year ago. "Sam Winchester: Running Away" I

Main Master List // Sam W. Master List

It's weird hiding from the Winchester boys. Weirdly, people are so much nicer to me now. The summer sun in Texas is hot on my back as I walk out of the grocery store. I tried my best to settle down and got a small job at a travel agency. I'm renting a small apartment from an old lady who helped me when I first got off the bus in Bay City.

In the past few months, my body has changed in many ways. I have a larger belly and more cravings than I've ever experienced. I talk to my belly almost every night after I calm down from work. I tell them stories about Sam and Dean. I tell them how their father is a hero, how he's saved the world, and how he has taken my heart with his bright, kind smile.

Like clockwork, every night, there's a message from Sam asking me if I'm doing alright, or begging me if I can just respond. It breaks my heart, but no matter what, I can't bring myself to type back a message. It didn't take long after I walked out of the bunker to know that I was walking away from the person that I love and that my home was disappearing into the background of the Kansas sunset.

Yet I couldn't bear to walk back into the bunker; somewhere in my twisted mind, it told me I had to go. I had to leave it all behind because I wasn't worth it. I wasn't worth the stress, the worry, or anything I might bring down on the Winchester boys.

I thought I had gotten away from it all—the grueling monsters, the death at every corner. I guess I was wrong because one second, I was shopping in a local baby store, and the next, I was somewhere completely different. Some places had air that felt lighter, and some places had my hopes and dreams feel like reality.

There's a warm hand wrapping around my middle. "Good morning, sweetheart." It's a voice I know, a voice I haven't heard in such a long time. One that makes my heart soothe from the racing it's currently doing in my chest. Then, I realize we aren't in the bunker but in a rather nice-looking bedroom. The sound of smaller feet pounding on the ground brings me to look at the doorway. "Anna must be up," Sam says in a whisper, his soft words brushing against my ear and giving me a round of shivers.

Anna comes busting into the bedroom, uncaring to knock on the bedroom door. You think you care but don't after you look at her. Hair as dark as Sams but eyes like yours. A gigantic smile on her chubby cheeks. "MOmmY!" She shouts as she climbs up the bed to get onto your body. You can see Sam out of the corner of your eye. It's a smile you only ever see reserved for you, and you don't know how you managed to be back in his arms and a kid you share together. You're lost in how you got from the store alone pregnant to here in his arms, in bed together with your family.

The feeling stays with you as the day starts, and you watch Sam shift from sweats and a white t-shirt to a pair of shorts and a hawwin shirt. "Aren't you gonna get dressed, baby?" He asks as he catches you staring at him from the bed still. "I… Where are we going?" You ask him, unsure still by the normality of this odd life. "Don't tell me you forgot about the barbecue that Dean invited us to?" He says, a knit-in his brow. You lick your lips and try to think, but there's nothing there, just white clouds that fog your thoughts.

"It's alright if you forgot, babe, just get dressed. It's warm out, so wear that pretty little sun dress you bought a few weeks ago." Sam says as he comes over, planting a kiss on your forehead. "I'm going to get Anna ready, I love you." You stare at the door for a few moments longer, waiting until he's left, and you can hear Sam and Anna talking down the hall. You get up feeling the carpet under your feet and the warmth that radiates through the window.

You do get dressed in the sun dress Sam mentioned. It still had the price tag on it, so you assumed it was the one he was talking about. It fits you perfectly, curved around your hips with ease, and giving everyone who might look at you a perfect display of your breasts. You find a nice pair of sandals and make your way towards the echos of voices.

"There she is," Sam says, happiness and warmth seeping from the kitchen. Anna turns around whipping her head in your direction, she too is dressed in a sundress pinks and purples mixed together with her hair up in braids. "You look good, Mommy," Anna says as she comes over, hugging your leg. You breathe it all in, getting deeper and deeper into it. You aren't sure still unsure how you managed to get here, but you can't say you're mad about it.

The ride to Deans is off, but everything is off for you. Sam can sense it; one hand from the wheel comes to the rest of your exposed knee. "You doin' alright, honey?" he asks, worry laced in his words. You shake your head, giving him more to worry about, but you don't know. All you can think of is the tiny giggles coming from the back seat.

Anna is watching something on a tablet, and her smile glows from whatever she's watching. "Come on, honey. You can talk to me about anything," Sam says, trying to trigger the conversation to continue. "I know, Sam. I'm just trying to be in the moment." You say, and that's the reality of it. Because this moment and the one this morning had been everything you were dreaming about.

"Dean, I just know something is wrong!" I say to my brother as I continue to stare at my phone. The text messages aren't even being read anymore. At least when Y/n was reading them, I knew she was safe; I knew that she was doing alright. I can hear the sigh of frustration fall from my lips as I put the phone back down the library table. "Sam, we can't do anything if she doesn't want us to," Dean says, trying to support both of us.

I lift my head, staring angrily at my brother. "I don't give a shit anymore. I don't care why she ran away. I don't care at all. I just want her back in my life. Now I'm pretty sure Charlie can figure out where she is." I huff out. With a grunt and shake of his head, he's got his phone beside his ear, calling our good friend Charlie.

I can hear the slight argument between Dean and Charlie as I sit, waiting for a quick answer. "I know, but can you just help us. Y/n hasn't been reading." Dean says, looking over at me. "She hasn't been looking at Sam's messages. Can you just give us a location so we can restart this?" Dean finishes. There's mumbling on the other side of the phone, but then I see Dean hidden. "Okay, text that to me, Charlie. Thank you," he says and then drops the phone from his cheek.

ASnxeity has set in when we get to where Y/n has been staying for the past few months. Her car is there, but the door to her apartment is cracked open; my blood runs cold, and just like that, I'm set on finding her. Dean tries to calm me and reminds me that not everything is terrible. She might just be doing something, like taking out the trash.

I glare at him and bring my gun from my hip to sweep through her apartment. Baby books and a few baby clothes are in the living room. Her bedroom is perfect as if she had never made it home. "Is she just taking out the trash now, Dean?" I snark at him, "I was trying to help. So… we have to work this like a case now?" Dean questions, I nod, and just like that, I'm searching for Y/n all over again.

Dean is wearing a Hawaiian shirt, and the kids run all over the house. His wife easily kisses his cheek, and he holds her close to his side. "Uncle De!" Anna screams, and Dean smiles broader and brighter than you've ever seen him. "Hey, kiddo," Dean says warmly as he picks her up and puts her on his hip. "You guys made it." Dean's wife says, and she comes over to give you a hug.

"What about us, baby girl?" a stranger asks. When I turn, I'm struck by the Winchesters' parents—happy, healthy, and very much alive. "Hey, Dad," Sam says happily, hugging his father and wrapping his mother tightly. You watch as the day goes on with absolute ease. Dean talks about adding a new portion to the Winchester auto shop; John lights up with joy at the idea of more business and growth for the business he's known since he was a young adult.

Sam holds you close to his chest as you two dance in the yard, the sky turning purple and orange. You rest your head on his chest and let the movement of your feet guide you into contentment. "You know I love you, right?" Sam asks you as his large hands hold your waist and back. You hum, but you are not willing to open your closed eyes. "And you know you are everything I've ever wanted, right? No matter what happens between the two of us, I'll always want you." Sam says you can feel the tears brimming in your lashes.

"I know Sam." Your voice cracks and gives away the way tears are threatening to fall. "I love you too." As you lift onto your tiptoes in the cool grass, you mutter back and press a needy kiss to his lips. You two are sadly interrupted by John. "Anna is sleeping; if you wanna, you guys can come to pick her up tomorrow." John offers, and Sam pulls me closer. "Thanks, Dad." He tells his dad, then turns to me, "Let's go home." You nod and take his hand in yours.

"What did I fucking tell you!?" I knew she was in trouble; I knew something was wrong. To be the cherry on top, she's pregnant, and she's been taken for whatever fucking reason. "It's just a dinner. We've dealt with enough of them to know the deal," Dean says. I slam the trunk of the baby shut, my molars grinding as I look at the depleted cave that's currently holding my girl and baby prisoner in a fake world.

Of her own imagination.

The silver blade drips all over the ground as I enter the cave. The dark walls hold secrets and horror that I hope and wish Y/n would never experience. It's all a blank somewhere between entering the cave and getting to Y/n. The only thing I feel is the splatter of blood onto my face and my eyes searching for that beautiful face.

She doesn't look like she's been there for too long, but her arms hang above her head, her belly prodding out. I'm stuck standing still over the djinn. Dripping its own blood back onto the dead man, Dean is quick to get over to Y/n, pulling the attachments out of her arm and pulling her down gently.

"Sam, get your ass over here. We… we are gonna have to take her to the hospital." Dean says, and somewhere in my frozen mind, my legs move to get a closer look at her. Her cheeks are a little sunken, but her face is still full of color. I know why Dean said we would have to take her to the hospital.

It's not too long before the large white building in Texas appears in the Impala's view. "I'm going to stop by the emergency doors to help your girl and that baby get some help. I nod and wait for the red letters to appear. A nurse is already waiting for us, and she takes a view of Y/n. "What happened?" the nurse asks, and for a moment, I think of telling the truth, but something else comes out. Something like, "She went for a walk a few hours ago, and then I didn't hear anything back from her." I say, my voice wanting to crack. The nurse nods, and I follow them for as long as possible.

Y/n is stuck in the cold hospital room for way too long. Fluids and IV being run into her system, the baby had been pretty much okay. Besides needing extra fluids, everything was fine, according to the doctors. They allowed me to stay in the room with her. The ICU has too many beeping machines, and there's constantly a team over Y/n making sure her and the baby's vitals are alright.

"Sam," A small voice calls out. "Y/n," I say, alerting half of the ICU floor that she's awake. She smiles slightly and then looks around her surroundings. "Where… why am I here, Sam?" She asks me. The happiness that was once there filters out and hits the bottom of my stomach. "You… Dean and I took care of what caught you," I answer her. "What caught me?" The heart machine starts to pick up speed. "Calm down, baby, please. I need you to breathe slowly and out before I tell you." I say to Y/n. She takes a few breaths and then squeezes my hand, wanting me to continue.

"You were caught by a djinn," I say, swallowing hard. It took Dean and me about three days to find you and another two beforehand to figure out something was wrong." There's silence from Y/n, and then she looks up at me with tears. "What about our baby?" she asks. I nod. The baby is fine; I did all sorts of tests to ensure everything was good," I tell her.

The silence continues until Y/n brings her attention up from her belly. "I saw a few things." "Did you?" I ask, wondering if she's going to explain. "I saw us, Dean, and your parents. I saw a life I so desperately wanted with you but thought I wasn't allowed to have with you because of our life." She says with a heavy sadness in her voice. "I thought I had to leave to take that burden away from you and Dean. I thought…" She hiccups, and tears roll down her cheeks.

"Baby, you will never be a burden to me, nor will our kid. I want nothing more than for you to come home so I can keep both of you safe and protected. I worried about you every single minute of every single day. It was hard to know that you thought you would be better off elsewhere." I say to her, wrapping her tightly in a much-needed hug.

"How'd you know where I was?" She asks when I release her from the hug. "I had Dean call Charlie," I say without a single ounce of regret. She giggles a little, "It wasn't funny; I'm pretty sure the next time we see the girl, she's gonna slap me across my face." Dean says, making us both look up at him.

"Thank you." Y/n says, "Of course, you're family, after all." Dean says from his spot in the doorway. When can I go home?" She asks, "Let me go get the nurse, and we will figure it out, baby." I say, letting go of her hand before pressing a kiss on her temple and running out to get a nurse.

Completed on: 03/15/24

Posted on: 03/15/24

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

Headcanons on Kon in the Captain Marvel adopts Superboy AU

Kon is his universes Captain Marvel Junior, Freddy is called Lieutenant Marvel instead

Billy’s age isn’t known, only the Shazamily and Kon know. Plus Tim, Kon told him and Tim makes sure Batman doesn’t figure it out through sneaky sabotage

His jacket has embroidery saying “You’ve been” with Caps symbol on the back with a “Struck!” At the bottom (You’ve been thunderstruck) instead of “Don’t mess with the S”

Does have access to Captain Marvels powers if needed, he’s part of the family so he can call down the lightning, but doesn’t like to because it ages him up and he ends up looking just like Clark

If he is Shazam-ed up his leather jacket becomes double breasted with the thunder emblem taking up most the front and thunder bolts in a belt formation on his hips, other than that his suit stays entirely the same

Civilian name is Conner Elliot Ordway; Conner is obvious, the Elliot is a nod to the House of El, and Ordway is the maiden name of Billy’s mom. The initials spell out CEO which is a humorous nod to Lex. Billy wanted to make sure Kon had a name that honored his family history, as messed up as it is, while still giving his one that’s makes him part of his family and able to be his own person separate from them. Which is why he gave him the last name Ordway instead of Batson, so his identity is completely his own if he wants it to be.

(More under the cut)

Knows Billy is Captain Marvel but still sees him as a great father figure, one who cares about and loves him unconditionally and respects him while also actively trying to be present in his life

Billy models his treatment to Kon as a mix of how he remembers his own dad and doing the opposite of what Superman was doing, which leads to a very loving parent-child dynamic built on respected boundaries and lots of open affection to remind eachother they’re loved

Billy mainly sees Kon as a older brother, Kon sees Captain Marvel as a dad figure and Billy as a little brother when they spend more time together as civilians. It changes based on how long they spend together in one of Billy’s forms for the most part, but mainly Kon sees him as his dad (even if the differences in age are supposed to be odd)

Billy uses the “Pretending to be my own dad” trick with Captain Marvel to get Kon in a high school in Fawcett plus Tim’s stellar “I faked a whole uncle to avoid being adopted” abilities to fake the paperwork

Billy works at Whiz radio and uses Cap in civilian clothes working odd jobs to afford an apartment for the both of them, which is made a lot less expensive when Billy uses that “Powers of Shazam, summon before me (insert desired thing here)” spell he summoned a ping pong table with that one time to cover large furniture

Superman started giving Cap the silent treatment after he learned Conner has been all but legally adopted Kon

Mary is a cool aunt to Kon, both get along well and scrapbook together as a bonding activity

Freddy, understandably, freaks out and is all over Kon the first few months he’s part of the family. Asking about TTK, doing dumb stuff with their powers and arm wrestling to see whose power set is better, asking any and every question that comes to mind. Those two get in a lot of power based shenanigans and hang out a lot in and out of costume

The love language of the entire family is shared time and involves a ton of physical affection just because it’s good to remind people you love them with a hug, Kon is living his best life with all the love and validation he gets 24/7/365

Billy inadvertently catches up with and excels past his age groups study’s after learning what he can as Billy and trying to stay up to date with Kon’s school work to be the parent that can help their kid with homework and does

They go as eachother for Halloween one year, Kon takes a selfie and shows it to the rest of young justice forgetting they don’t know about Billy and when they ask he panics and says that’s his kid brother.

Which tumbles into Batman thinking Cap is CC Batson reincarnated with powers and trying to be a good dad and hero despite the whole death thing and Tim in the background trying not to laugh when he knows Bruce is wrong

(Stuff tied to comic canons)

Captain Marvel disappears for a solid 3 weeks after Kon dies, spending the whole time bouncing from afterlife to afterlife trying to look for him and asking the various death gods he comes across where Kon might have ended up. He doesn’t find him and has to grieve losing his family all over again

Covered every base he could think of looking for Kon’s soul, checked his family’s old faith, Hades because of the Greek ties, Kryptonian gods, a fist fight with Lady Blaze for information but couldn’t find anything. All he knows after that is that either Kon didn’t have a soul (which isn’t true and he refused to believe that), his ghost is roaming around and didn’t move on properly so he’s in a state of limbo, or he’s in some other afterlife and he has no idea what other ones to check for him in. Either way, Billy can’t find him and gets torn up that he lost some of his family all over again

The new 52 has Superboy Prime a prisoner held in the Monsterlands, a realm under the Council of Eternity’s (and Captain Marvel’s) control. Billy makes every day there a living hell for him for the next year until Kon is brought back, and after that all of Young Justice gets a free lifetime pass to pop by and beat him senseless for some Therapy™️. Tim and Cassie got a lot of hits in

When Kon does come back and gets back into the swing of his civilian life Billy worries a lot more and gets a little hover-y as a parent to Kon, Mary makes him earrings and small pieces of jewelry that has protection charms on them, and Freddy checks up on him between classes.

All in all, it’s a family of orphans all in various situations of oprhanhood being there for eachother no matter how weird life gets for them. Sometimes a family is your middle school aged dad, his best friend, his twin sister, a shape shifting talking tiger, and yourself

[shynetyme06]

OKAY you already know I had to ask some questions of my own as well >:3

These are for Mc! PJ, of course!

1. How many fan kids are canon to their au? I know that Crescent is canon as well, but are there others?

2. Related to Crescent, how did the two meet and become friends?

3. What are *her* magical-abilities?

4. What's her personality like? Is she similar to the original PJ or completely different?

5. Do the Star Sanses / Bad Sanses exist in your au? If so, what are her thoughts on them, if any?

Oh boy and u thought ur answer was long... get ready I had a lot more to say than I thought ;Dc

1. Only PJ and Crescent are here. Palette used to be in like the earliest iteration but he’s been retconned, and I’ve considered adding Lux but it’s unlikely she’ll show up cuz I haven’t come up with a real reason she should lol

2. PJ first learned about crescent through Ink’s description of him, that Crescent frequently tests Ink’s patience by seeing what he can get away with in the aus before he gets told to leave for messing with the script, but PJ was more interested in the fact that there was another outcode kid out there, one who also doesn’t have a script of their own. He was definitely curious but was hesitant to seek him out bcuz of the worry that Ink would be unhappy with that. and uh Ink is also the reason Crescent knows about PJ, and the reason he immediately didn’t like her because of the similar beliefs she must have to his. He was kinda a dick the first time they spoke yet as the conversation progressed, he realized PJ wasn’t how he thought she’d be. He took a step back and realized he of all people shouldn’t be judging anyone that easily based on who they were raised by, and he continued to hang around PJ while she pretended to hate his company (still unsure of the exact circumstance of them finding each other so for now they just happened to cross paths in some random au)

They mostly stick together due to their shared fear of never being able to find their desired place in this multiverse, and while they still can only ever hope for that place, it doesn’t hurt to have someone around who actually understands. They’re pretty reserved with emotions like this so they’re kinda just affectionately mean to each other most of the time instead of getting into all that. they're pretty important to each other by now so let's hope nothing bad happens <3

3. Her magic is very simple and close to canon but differs in some of the ways she uses it. She can’t summon ink or paint out of nowhere like her dad does, so that’s what the bag is for, she keeps extra ink in there for creating small objects, shields, portals, and attacks. The ink strings come straight from her hands, and her last ability is being able to revert to a puddle at will, she usually does this when jumping off of really high places to land painlessly

4. He's got the sarcasm and sassiness factor you'd expect, as well as a habit of trying to hide certain emotions from others. A defining trait Mc has that I'd say isn't too close to canon is his level of recklessness. Like 99% of his decisions are made on impulse and he doesn't even warn people before going through with his foresight-deficient plans so that's fun. And he actually gets away with it a lot of the time so W I guess

5. The Star Sanses exist, but they aren’t as close as they used to be. At this point their relationship was work only, up until PJ showed up that is. Blue and Dream are still friends but haven't really heard from Ink in a long while, until one day he called them for an emergency to the Doodlesphere. To their absolute shock the emergency happened to be looking after this kid he had now for a reason they couldn't even begin to guess, (that looked to be at least 2 years old, how could they have not known by now???) while he leaves for an unknown time to fight off error as he had just begun attacking an au. Before they could even speak Ink promised them that he’d tell them what happened as soon as he got back, introduced PJ, and explained what they needed to know right now about taking care of them (they can only eat art supplies, don’t let them touch water, etc) in the span of like 20 seconds before leaving them to it

Alright that’s the background covered, time to actually answer the question lmao. PJ is 3, but they had only actually gained consciousness about a month prior to this point, and in that time Ink was the only person they were ever around. And now these random people showed up and they’re left with them. Great. PJ didn’t trust them at all and just tried to do whatever they wanted while avoiding acknowledging them, (which included climbing on the walls multiple times, something Ink failed to warn them they could even do. They also tried to eat a lot of random stuff lol) They have warmed up over time, and Underswap became a place they’ve stayed in a lot while Ink was away. Nowadays, PJ loves them like uncles but compared to what they’re used to with Ink, (ridiculous amount of freedom to do whatever, short of messing with scripts ofc) their advice about what they should/shouldn't do can feel smothering. they don’t interact as much as they did when PJ was younger

And oh right the bad sanses uuhhhh.. Killer has to exist for Crescent to be here so that's 1, aand I actually have no ideas for the rest of the MTT sorry LOL I'll try to brainstorm more but Dust and Horror might just not show up at all.. 🙏 and PJ has not met Killer or Nightmare so they just formed most of their views on them based on the things Crescent has told them, which are not good things in the slightest

[onceuponastory]

give me thunder, give me lightning - the winter soldier x reader

Part Five of my Ghost Story AU - Find the series masterlist here

Plot: In the aftermath of HYDRA's return, things are rebuilt and redefined. Pairing: The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of death/murder, violence, injuries/bruises (not too graphic though), weapons, nightmares, trauma, anxiety and angst. Once again, everything Bucky did as TWS and had done to him by HYDRA is a trigger. As always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know. Notes: We made it to part five! Technically the final chapter? As always, thank you for enjoying this story so much. Here's a link to the song this chapter is named after, Take Me Dancing by The Maine. You'll need it for later ;)

Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.

“W-What did you just say?” Y/N asks. She hopes this is just a mistake, something she misheard. Even the possibility of Bucky playing some cruel practical joke on her crosses her mind.

For a moment, she wonders if she was the one who got shoved backwards, who slammed her head against a table and is now lying against a cold, hard floor. If this is merely a dream, or a hallucination in a damaged mind.

Because Bucky, protective, loving Bucky, who looked at her like she hung the moon and stars in the sky, who listened to every single one of her stories about growing up and her family, even the boring ones, hanging onto every word, who at least said something when she spoke to him… now stares back at her like he doesn’t even know her. 

Even death would be better than this.

As Bucky begins to walk towards them, she registers Steve saying: “Y/N. You should go. Let us handle this.” but she ignores his words.

“Bucky?” Silence. All Y/N can hear is the pounding of her heart. No recognition comes from him, and he continues to move forward, keeping his stare fixed on the trio. He’s like a completely different person, a shell of his former self. HYDRA must’ve wiped his memory again, or activated his trigger words again.

And that thought scares her to death. Not because of what Bucky could do to them, but what it means to him. Even as he bears down on them, all she can think about is how much this has messed up his healing, and how they could ever possibly fix this.

Steve and Sam try to fend him off, to break through his programming once more. And they put up a good fight, but Bucky’s moves are fluid and rapid, too calculated for them both. Whilst they’re cautious about harming him, he's not. He blocks every one of their attacks with ease and quickly deals out ones of his own. He shows them no mercy, dealing out punch after punch. Finally, Y/N sees the full extent of what Bucky’s capable of, the soldier HYDRA trained him to be. 

And although she knows (or at least hopes) that Bucky wouldn’t hurt her, seeing him like this terrifies her.

“Y/N. Get out of here. Run.” Steve repeats, but she has no time to respond before Bucky throws him down.

And then, there’s nothing to protect her, nothing separating them both. Bucky stops in front of her, panting. The same pair of silvery blue eyes, now empty and cold, stare back at her. Immediately, she’s back in her grandma’s house again, facing Bucky for the first time. And now, she must fight for her survival again. But this time, it hurts even more. This time, there’s so much more at stake. For all the times she used to worry about Bucky trying to hurt her, she never actually imagined it would happen, or thought about what she would do if it ever did.

So now, she has no idea what to do, or how to save herself. 

“Bucky, please.” The words leave her mouth as a strained gasp. As if her words could undo the decades of torture and suffering HYDRA put him through. But that's all she can do. It’s all she has. Steve and Sam, they’re superheroes, with weapons and other resources at their disposal, and that didn’t even work. All she has is her love for Bucky, and her want to bring him back.  

And this time, she’s not sure it’s going to be enough. 

But she has to try. She’s the only hope they have right now.

“Bucky. I-It’s me, remember? Y/N?” She’s aware of her voice cracking, a sign of the fear and pain of the last god knows how many hours finally taking their toll on her. And she hates it. She wishes she could be strong. Show Bucky that she’s not afraid, and that they’ll get through this together. But she can’t. “You met me at my grandma’s house, remember? It was a lot like this, actually.”

He’s silent. All he does is stare at her, calculating his next move. HYDRA told him to eliminate all their enemies here. He’s already fended off two of them with ease, and now it’s her turn.

So why hasn’t he done it yet?

“Everything’s different now, though.” She chuckles awkwardly. “But I know you’re still in there, Bucky, and I’ll bring you back, no matter what I do.”

Why won’t she stop calling me Bucky? He thinks. Why is she staring at me like that?

Yet, just as soon as his programming kicks in once more, and he readies his arm to eliminate this threat, another voice sounds, breaking through HYDRA’s orders. Fight it. Fight back. She’s right. Trust her. And he feels compelled to listen to it.

“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. We all call you Bucky. You used to love it when I’d play my grandma’s records for you. You loved The Rolling Stones, but I think Ella Fitzgerald was your favourite.” His broken brain tries to put the pieces together, tries to find the song she means… but all that comes through is a garbled mess. The clearest part, though, is HYDRA’s programming. Fight it. The voice says again. Don’t let them destroy you again. But their programming is just too strong.

“Stop it.” He hisses. “Shut up.” She’d be lying if she said his coldness and cruelty don’t hurt, and she has to remind herself that it’s not actually him saying those words. She just has to persist. She has to bring him back.

“Remember the night I fell asleep, and you covered me with the blanket?” There’s a tingle up his human arm then, a feeling of soft cotton tucked around a sleeping form. Of the golden rays of the sunrise flooding into the room, warming his body. His heart starts beating faster. She looked so beautiful then… so radiant. “I was so afraid of you. I thought you were dangerous, and that you’d kill me right there and then. I must admit, a part of me thinks that, even now. But I know you won’t. I know it’s not you, Bucky. You’re not a monster. You never were.”

He registers shouting in his ear, furious voices ordering him to go out and kill everyone who stood in their way. Despite being reactivated by HYDRA again, he knew something was wrong, that some part of him didn’t want to do this. Suddenly, the mask shifts, and Bucky Barnes starts to break through. “Y-Y/N?”

Unfortunately, almost as soon as it shifts, HYDRA’s programming kicks in again, and he’s back to the soldier he once was. “Stop it.” He hisses.

“Never.”

“Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to save me?” He demands. Yet, his face shows no anger. It's more sadness than anything. As if he remembers just how brutal his life is, and that he’s already accepted he’s not worthy of love.

“Because I love you.” She wants to say, wants to shout it from the rooftops. It’s what she almost says, but the words get stuck in her throat. “Because I know it’s not you. It never was. You don’t want to do this, I know it. Please, Bucky.” She steps forward, closer to him, into the line of fire.

“Stay back.” He orders, pointing his gun, but she doesn’t stop. 

“Bucky, this isn’t you.” She repeats. “Come back to me.” She’s crying now, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Her tears register something in his mind. This isn’t the first time he’s seen her crying, or pointed his gun at her. 

How does he know her? 

Why does he know her?

“Say it’s only a paper moon, sailing over a cardboard sea.” She sings, her voice soft and quiet at first. For a moment, she notices something in Bucky’s expression. It’s as if his programming slips again, and he hears her words. And they mean something to him. It’s almost as if the real Bucky comes through once more.

He’s sitting in a house, laughing and singing along. A happy warmth fills his blood. That was a wonderful memory. He felt… safe. He felt loved. Finally, he sees the girl he was with again. And she’s standing right in front of him.

His blue eyes look over her again. Like he’s discovering her for the first time again. “Y/N?” He whimpers. He seems shocked and confused, as if his true identity, his humanity, coming back was merely a switch being flicked. She smiles, a huge, wide smile as bright as the sun. And this time, Bucky recognises it.

“Hey Bucky.” He glances down at his hands, dropping his weapon to the floor immediately. 

“W-What happened? Why am I holding a gun? D-Did I hurt you?” He panics, looking around wildly for any injuries.

“No, it’s okay. Shh. I’m here.” She soothes, clasping his hands tightly in the hopes they stop shaking. “And I’m okay.” Bucky breathes a sigh of relief. Then he smiles, chuckling softly.

“Y/N… It’s so good to see-” But suddenly, he groans softly, his eyelids fluttering shut. 

“Bucky?” she gasps, trying to hold on to the super soldier’s body as he begins to slump forward. The weight of his body almost knocks her over, but she keeps a grasp on him as tightly as she can. “What’s going on? Talk to me.” And once more, he’s silent. “Bucky!”

Sometime later, Bucky awakens, wincing at the bright light suddenly flooding the room. He groans, and his head pounds. 

“He’s waking up.” Immediately, he’s on edge, expecting to see another HYDRA agent in front of him. Yet, thankfully, he recognises the voice. It’s Sam. Although, despite that, Bucky knows he can’t be too careful. This could be a trap to lure him into a false sense of security. It’s only when Steve and Sam step in front of him that Bucky slowly starts to relax. He tries to get up, but realises that something is pinning his metal arm down, preventing him from using it. 

“Sorry. We had to be sure you were fully immobile.” Steve informs him. With a sigh, Bucky nods. They’re right, it is the best thing to do, especially when he’s still so unpredictable. But he’d be lying if he didn’t say that the fact that even his closest friends don’t feel safe around him didn’t hurt him deeply.

“W-What happened?” He frowns. He tries to find the memory, but like most of his memories, there’s just an empty space. 

“We were hoping you could tell us that.” Bucky wracks his brain, looking for something, anything, to help.

“All I remember is we were trying to escape, but I got separated. I tried to get back to Y/N, but I got lost. And then, out of nowhere, these agents surrounded me.” The insignia on their uniforms jumps out at him, as clear as day. A final, sick reminder. “It was HYDRA.” 

Suddenly, memories come flooding back. Not of HYDRA, though, or of Steve and Sam. Of Y/N. And he realises that she’s nowhere to be seen. His stomach drops, and he begins to panic once more. “Y/N! Where is she? Is she okay? Oh god, don’t tell me I’ve… please don’t tell me she's ....”

“Y/N’s fine.” Steve reassures him. “She’s resting.” And Bucky breathes the heaviest sigh of relief he swears he ever has before.

“Resting? From what? What happened?” Steve and Sam look between each other, and Bucky raises a brow. The longer they go without saying anything, the more worried he feels.

“You’re right. It was HYDRA who found you. We’re not entirely sure what happened, but they must have reactivated you and sent you out to stop us while they escaped.”

“Oh god.” He sighs, burying his face in his one free hand. “How bad was it?”

“Well, you definitely tried to stop us.” Sam begins, and from his tone, Bucky senses he shouldn’t press him on that any further. Guilt floods through him, and he groans. 

“I’m sorry, I-”

“It’s okay Buck.”

“No, it’s not. You two don’t have any idea what it’s like to be responsible for so much pain and carnage, but not even be aware of it. To have to question yourself every time you wake up, wondering what you did in the night. If you really were sleeping, or if you were out there, killing innocent people. You’ve never stared at yourself in the mirror and wondered about the true scale of what you’ve done, and how you can ever repent for it. And you haven’t had to worry about the people who did this to you finding you and doing it all over again, like today.” He snaps. When he sees their shocked faces staring back at him, he sighs. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay Buck. All things considered, it wasn’t too bad, actually. Surface wounds at most.” Steve replies. Another small sigh of relief sounds from Bucky. That’s good. Not great, but good. They can work with this. Hopefully.

“Thank god. And thank you for bringing me back.” He sighs.

“Oh, that wasn’t us.” Sam informs him. The pair step aside, and Y/N steps forward.

“Bucky!” She smiles, immediately rushing over to him..

“Y/N. I’m so sorry.” He gasps, his voice full of sorrow. Will she ever be able to look at him again? Or will she always see him trying to kill them? He tried so hard to show her he’s not a monster, and this has just undone everything. Y/N kneels down in front of him until she’s eye level with him. Her eyes are so beautiful. How did he never notice that before? His only choice is to hope and pray that she’ll forgive him, and that she’ll ever be able to trust him again. A strand of Bucky’s hair falls down into his face, and Y/N reaches out and tucks it behind his ear. 

“What are you saying sorry for?” She whispers. Bucky scoffs, shaking his head. There’s no way she can be this kind and forgiving. Especially after that.

“I tried to kill you.” She shakes her head. 

“But you didn’t, remember? Just like before, you stopped yourself, and you came back.”

“Because of you. You’re amazing, Y/N. I don’t deserve you. I deserve to be alone. It’s not safe to be with me.” She cups his cheek, gazing into his eyes. And Bucky feels a warmth growing in his stomach once more. 

“Well, that’s tough, because I’m not going anywhere.” She insists. “I know it wasn’t your choice, Bucky. It was HYDRA’s.”

“And what if they come back? They’re still out there, and the last thing I want is to-”

“Then we’ll be ready for them.” She finds his hand, squeezing it tightly. He feels so comforted by her grasp, so safe. He stares back at her, his heart pounding. No matter how hard he tries to convince her to leave, he knows she’s not going to listen. She’s stubborn as all hell, and she definitely isn’t going to give up anytime soon. But it’s so wonderful to have someone care about you so much that when they stare into the depths of hell with you, instead of running, they refuse to leave your side.

“You’re incredible.” He gasps, not even thinking. A light pink dusts his cheeks, and Y/N smiles, giggling a little.

“Besides,” She continues. “You promised me we’d be back in my grandma’s house, remember?” That feels so long ago, an entire lifetime ago. Bucky doesn’t even know if he’ll make it to tomorrow, let alone till then. But as he watches Y/N beaming over at him, and realises just how much he loves her, he knows he has to keep his promise to her. And he'll do his best to make it happen, no matter how long it takes.

In the aftermath of the attack, Y/N and Bucky are soon called into multiple meetings to find out how this could’ve happened, why it happened, and how to stop it from ever happening again. And Y/N hates every minute of them, especially how she has to see Bucky’s face as he has to relive his trauma over and over with every question they ask him, and how they keep prodding him for answers he clearly cannot remember enough to give. When they ask him if he had any knowledge of what HYDRA was planning, or if he had helped them do it, Y/N swears she could’ve thrown the table across the room in anger. Thankfully, they both have Steve and Sam in their corner defending them, and Fury and Maria help in their own… ‘special’ way. 

When it is all finally over, the small matter of where Bucky should stay comes into question. Although the HQ looked alright from the outside, the attack raised so many questions on allegiances and safety that Bucky can no longer stay there. Neither Y/N nor Bucky wanted to ask if it was because they still thought he was responsible.

Thankfully, everyone in charge somehow seems to agree that the best place for Bucky wasn’t in a cell in Avengers HQ, but with Y/N in her safe apartment. Of course, Y/N is more happy to have him stay with her, but she’s confused why she was chosen first. Maybe they noticed the way she looks at him, and how hopelessly in love with him she is. But in all honesty, she doesn’t care about their reasoning. She’s just so thrilled to have Bucky back that she’s going to take every chance she can to be close to him after he’s been locked away for so long. 

And the idea of living together with Bucky again is great. They're used to being together, just the two of them, and immediately felt happy to be going back to it. However, that happiness is very quickly shattered when the pair realise that SHIELD and the Avengers don’t exactly pride their safe houses on comfort or size. Or on having more than one occupant. And that means there’s only one available bed for them. Immediately, Bucky offers to take the couch. Both to be a gentleman, and because deep down, he’s still terrified that he’d scared her away from him for good.

“Bucky, I’m not letting you sleep on the couch. Especially not after all this.” Y/N insists, ignoring his attempts to argue that he was fine, and that he’s used to this sort of thing. In return, her insistence that she would sleep on the couch caused just as many protests from him. After some deliberation, the pair eventually decide their only choice is to share the bed.

“I’ll um. I’ll just stay over here, okay? I just want you to be comfortable.” Bucky murmurs, scooting as far as he can to the edge of the bed without the risk of falling out. He sees a flash of disappointment across her face as she sees him trying to get as far away from her as possible, and his stomach twists with guilt. He hates being so far from her, but he still can’t trust himself around her yet, and this is the best way to ensure her safety.

When he wakes up in the middle of the night with another nightmare, screaming and thrashing to thwart the HYDRA agents he’s sure are coming for them both, Y/N is right by his side, wrapping her arms around his crying, shaking frame. Just like before, she stays by his side, whispering reassuring words into his ear and staying awake with him until he calms down enough to try to get some sleep. “Thank you.” He whispers into the darkness.

“Of course.” Her voice replies. 

The next morning, she wakes up in his arms. And for the first time in a long time, Y/N finally feels safe. In his sleep, Bucky reflexively tightens his grasp on her, pulling her closer. Whether for her safety or his own comfort, she doesn’t know. But she loves it all the same. Being here, in Bucky’s arms, just the two of them, is perfect. Everything finally feels right. She looks up at him, his lips parted slightly as he softly snores. He looks so at peace, finally free after god knows how long. His hair falls in his face again, and it takes everything in her to not reach up and tuck it behind his ear once more. Despite how much she wants to be closer to him now, Bucky deserves this rest, and she won’t ruin it for him. 

And besides, looking isn’t so bad, right?

As they’re both under strict orders to stay where they are until the investigation is over, Y/N and Bucky have plenty of free time to do whatever they want. And Y/N takes it as her opportunity to show Bucky some more of the things he’s missed over the years, like her favourite movies and books. She also makes sure to give Bucky the care he deserves. One night, when he feels comfortable enough, she runs him a bath and washes his hair for him, gently massaging the shampoo and conditioner into his scalp. Although Bucky flinches at her touch a few times, he soon feels safe and comfortable enough to relax. And besides, he knows Y/N could never hurt him. Even after everything he’s done, she’s stayed by his side and fought for him when it seemed like nobody else would. 

Honestly, Bucky thinks he could thank her every minute of every day for the rest of her life, and it still wouldn’t be enough appreciation. As she gently rinses his hair, he glances over at her. And the familiar feeling of butterflies in his stomach starts all over again. She’s so beautiful. So caring. Even if he never tells her how he feels, that whenever she laughs, his heart grows three sizes bigger, and that he thinks she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, even when she thinks she looks like a mess after waking up… he’s so grateful that he got to know her, and be cared for by her. 

“That’s you all done, Bucky.” Y/N smiles. “Do you need anything else?” Bucky almost laughs at that. Because what else could she do for him? She’s done so much already. Too much, some would argue. 

“No, thanks.” He smiles back, just as bright as Y/N’s. He wonders if she ever notices how he only seems to smile around her… or at least, even more than he does when he’s with Steve and Sam. Little does Bucky know, however, that Y/N has noticed. And every time she remembers it, it sends her heart into a spiral all over again.

“Okay. I’ll leave you in peace then.” As she gets up to leave, Bucky almost stops her, not ready to stop this moment just yet. But then he remembers where they are. How the hell is he going to explain why he wants her to stay to watch him getting out of a bathtub? Even though she’s just washed his hair for him, she’s never seen him like this before. So… undressed. It feels too intimate, too different for them both.

So he lets her go. As the door clicks shut behind her, Bucky sighs, leaning his head against the cool tiles. He can’t keep going on like this, of having his chest tighten every time he sees her, or have his heart beat faster and faster whenever she smiles. He has to tell her. He’s just too damn terrified.

Later that night, Y/N and Bucky sit together listening to music, like they do most nights. Somehow, though, tonight is different. There’s a different atmosphere in the air surrounding them, one neither is willing to mention. Because once that’s broken, and their feelings are out in the open… It changes everything. And despite the hell they’ve both been through, somehow admitting their feelings for each other is the scariest thing either of them could imagine. There are no take backs, no do overs. Once it’s done, that’s it.

“How’s your neck, by the way?” Bucky asks, gesturing to the bandage on it. A cruel reminder of the last few days.

“It’s, um, good.” She nods. “They said it won’t scar or anything, thank god.”

“That’s great then.” Y/N nods again, curtly. She’s never felt so strange around Bucky, even when they first met. Say something. Anything. 

“Do you wanna dance with me?” She asks, her voice coming out so quickly that Bucky has to ask her to repeat herself. God, this is torture. Thankfully though, Bucky says yes, and pulls her up. Y/N presses shuffle on her phone, and soon the all too familiar guitar intro to Take Me Dancing by The Maine begins to play. Immediately, Y/N’s cheeks burn. “Oh god, I’m sorry, this is a slow song. I-I can change it.” She stammers, hating herself for being so obviously flustered.

“No, please don’t.” Bucky chuckles. “It’s been a while, but I was a pretty keen dancer back in the 40s. I could use a refresher.” He holds out his hand, scarred and bruised. “May I?” Y/N slips her hand into his, interlinking her fingers with his and gently running hers along his bruises. But he can see no judgement or fear in her gaze. She looks at him with the same comfort as she always has. Y/N moves his hand to her waist and takes her other hand in his.

The apartment wasn’t exactly made for slow dancing, but honestly, Y/N doesn’t care where they are. Because wherever she and Bucky are… that’s home. Bucky twirls her under his arm, holding her close as he sways her to the music. He really is a wonderful dancer. He definitely kept his skills from the 40s. She used to wonder what it’d have been like to know him then, and how different it would have been from their life now. Obviously, there’d be a lot less fear and violence, but honestly, she doesn’t care about that anymore. She’s so in love with Bucky that she’ll always take him as he is. 

“Give me thunder, give me lightning, And I will give you every part of me.”

As John O’Callaghan’s voice fills the room, Y/N almost finds herself laughing at the lyrics. In a way, it’s a perfect representation of her life with Bucky. He was the storm that blew into her life, destroying everything she once knew. And for a moment, she was terrified he’d destroy her too. But now, they’re slow dancing together, finally safe. And she’s head over heels in love with him. Bucky steps closer to her without even thinking, pulling her even closer to his chest as his grasp tightens on her. 

Even as the music fades out, Bucky keeps a hold on her, gently swaying her to their own rhythm. The warmth radiating from his body envelops them both, and she can hear his heartbeat through his chest.

“You know.” He murmurs, his stubble lightly grazing her cheek. “I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for what you did for me. What you continue to do for me.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Buck. You never did.” 

“I do.” He disagrees. “I really do. You saved me, showed me what more there is to life. You may have given me my old life back, but you’ve given me something wonderful and new, too. Hope.” He looks at her properly now, light blue eyes staring into her soul. “And I can’t thank you enough for it. You’re a real angel, you know that?” She can see tears building in his eyes, and no doubt she’s close to tears, too. Her heart swells, and she smiles.

“You’re welcome, Bucky. But I wouldn’t say I’m an angel. I just saw you needed help, and I gave you it. Anyone else would.” Bucky blinks in surprise, unable to believe how this wonderful, beautiful person is undermining herself so much, especially when he owes his life to her. But he’ll tell her how special she is for the rest of his life.

“'Anyone else', is not you, Y/N.” He whispers, his breath hot against her cheek and sending a shiver down her spine. “And you are an angel to me.” Sniffling, Y/N nods.

“Thank you Bucky. I wish it could be like this all the time, just me and you, together.” She sighs.

“Me too.” Her eyes flicker to his lips. So pink. So soft. Have they always been so pink? God, it’s like I’m noticing him for the first time all over again.

“Y/N?”

“Mhm?”

“I have something I need to tell you.” Bucky takes a deep breath. “I’m in love with you.” Despite how often her heart beat increases around Bucky, in that moment Y/N swears she feels it stop. For a moment she thinks she misheard him, but when he continues, saying: “I don’t know when, o-or how it happened. But god, Y/N, I’m tired of pretending. I love you so much. And I want you to know it.” She’s too stunned to reply, and Bucky’s heart sinks, thinking she doesn't feel the same. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I-”

But a comforting hand on his forearm stops him. One he knows all too well. “Bucky.” Y/N smiles softly, tears already running down her cheeks. “I love you too.”

“You do?” He gasps. Gingerly, he raises his metal hand, wordlessly asking her if it’s okay to continue, and Y/N nods. Bucky cups her cheek with his metal hand, cool against her skin. He never thought something responsible for so much death and pain could hold something so beautiful. “Can I kiss you?” When she nods again, Bucky gently leans in close, pressing his lips to hers. The kiss is firm, yet soft. It’s nothing like Y/N has ever experienced before. She pulls him closer, deepening the kiss. When they pull apart, Bucky’s cheeks are a soft pink, and he chuckles, no doubt trying to maintain his cool facade from the 40s, but completely failing. He gazes back at her, unable to stop smiling. “That was… perfect.” Y/N leans in, pecking his cheek.

“You’re perfect.” She whispers.

“Are you trying to get me to kiss you again?” He raises a brow, yet still can’t keep the grin off of his face. “Because it’s working.” And then he pulls her close once more.

“It’s not going to be for too long…. I hope.” Bucky reassures Y/N, squeezing her hand. Yet, as she glances over at him, she can tell he’s trying to put on a brave face himself. A few weeks after she and Bucky admitted their love for one another, King T’Challa, The King of Wakanda, and an ally of Steve and Sam’s, heard of Bucky’s plight and offered to take him in and use their technology to help him break free from HYDRA’s programming. Obviously, they both jumped at the chance. And now, the day that Bucky’s going to leave has finally come. 

Y/N knows this is the best place for Bucky to be, and she’s incredibly glad that he finally gets the chance to heal, and grateful to T’Challa for giving him this chance. But the fact that Bucky’s leaving her is tearing her up inside. Thankfully, T’Challa was incredibly kind and understanding, telling her she can visit him whenever she wants, and that she can even stay there with him for a while if she wanted to.

And whilst she wants that more than anything, Y/N said no. At least, for the first little while. She loves Bucky more than anything in the world, and because of that, she wants to give him the best chance to heal. And to her, that means stepping back and letting him take as long as he needs to process this on his own. That doesn’t mean she’s going to completely stop talking to him, though. She’s going back to her grandma’s house for a week or two to assess the damage and deal with things there, and then she, Steve and Sam are going to Wakanda to visit him. She sighs, looking at Bucky. 

Yet it still feels like she’s never going to see him again. Bucky pulls her into a hug, as if he senses her nerves. “I’ll see you soon, alright? And like T’Challa said, I’m sure we’ll be able to keep in contact somehow.”

“I know.” She manages a smile. “Just don’t forget about me, alright?” Bucky chuckles, giving her a quick, yet passionate kiss.

“Like I ever could.” They stay like that, in each other’s arms for a while, until T’Challa approaches them both.

“It’s time.” He smiles. 

“Well, this is it.” Bucky chuckles, but she can see the tears shimmering in his eyes. Y/N surges forward, grabbing him and squeezing tightly. 

“I love you.” She whimpers, and Bucky sniffles.

“I love you too.” 

And with one last kiss, he’s gone.

Y/N makes the trip back to her grandma’s house in silence. Steve and Sam offered to go with her in case any rogue HYDRA agents were there, but she declined, still too emotional from saying goodbye to Bucky to even think about saying goodbye to them, even if it is just for a few weeks. The time she spent with them was so fast-paced and frightening, and it’s hard to believe it’s over, and how things are changing between them all. 

The house still looks just as imposing as it did before, and the front steps still creak as she goes up them, advancing towards the front door. Her hands brush against the doorknob, and she braces herself for what she’s about to find. The memory of the last time she was here enters her mind once more, and Y/N sighs. If only she knew what awaited her the last time she opened that front door, maybe she wouldn’t have opened it. But deep down, she knows that if Bucky would’ve been there on the other side, she’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

Strangely, the house seems more or less the same since they left, only a few things out of place here and there, presumably caused by the wind blowing through the window Bucky broke. It’s like nobody has been there at all. Despite her footsteps around the house, it’s eerily quiet. Last time, she sensed Bucky’s presence, and knew she wasn’t alone. Now though, she can't feel a thing. Not even a ghost.

Every time she enters a room, a part of her expects to see Bucky sitting there, waiting for her. Like he was the last time she came here. And every time she realises he’s not there, it breaks her heart all over again. Finally, after she’s checked every room, the reality that everyone is really gone hits her, and she breaks down in tears.

She’s never felt so alone.

This is NOT the end of this story! There's still going to be an epilogue (that may turn into a final chapter depending on how long it is). They will get their happy ending, I promise!

Please follow @onceuponastory-library and turn on notifications to be notified when I next post!

[quartzhearted]

great tree moon, year xx.

[ SECOND CORRESPONDENCE W. KINGDOM OF BRODIA. ]

Hi, honey,

It's been a little bit since my last letter---and let me tell you, there sure have been some new things here at the monastery. I swear it wasn't that long since I last talked to you, but maybe it has been? Time's a hell of a thing, ain't it.

A handful of moons ago, it was almost like some kind of mass exodus; a bunch of people disappeared, then came back after some time passed. Apparently it's a normal thing, but... it's really strange? I remember seeing something-or-other around the monastery asking for participants, I think... I don't know. It's all a little hazy. Apparently I could have gone, but there was too much to do and I decided against it. Lots of people came back with real bad sunburns.

I've got a pal, Lambert---he's the guy that consensually punched me, remember him?---and he'd gone off to wherever it was. He came back a completely different person. I'm talking new look, new attitude, new lease on life. I really wonder what happened to him over there, but I haven't had the chance to ask him yet. Baby, if you met Lambert, I know the two of you would catch on like a wildfire. He's fantastic!

Speaking of pals, I've made a few more since I last talked to you. One of my favorites is this guy named Matthias---I mean, guy's like an alternate me! He's huge, got short, orange hair, axe guy, and he's a mean fighter. When we first met, we did it the warrior's way. Ended in a tie, and that's while he had a problem with his leg! He's a lot more deadpan-looking than Lambert is, but he's his own brand of feisty. I hope I get to talk to him more; I think we've got some things in common.

There's a new wind blowing at the monastery right about now, and lots of people are getting involved. Heading out on missions, picking up odd jobs, or getting hired for real jobs, and that's just a few things off the top of my head. Hell, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, so I picked up a job. It was... well, there'll be some instant portraits in here. You can figure it out from those. Damn near gave Diamant a heart attack.

I hope my birthday wasn't too quiet. I assume it'd have turned into a day of mourning, given how things went with Alexand... but I'd much rather people drink and be merry like they always did. I was finally able to take Alcryst out to drink, and Diamant took me out to drink. And that's not even mentioning all of the neat gifts I got; this dragon squirt Nils gave me a dragon warrior charm! And Lambert gave me a sword. A really nice sword! I think I'll hang the charm off of it... but then it might break. So what should I do? You were always good about practical customization, so do you have any ideas?

A girl I've never seen before gave me a stone for my birthday. It was pyrite, so she has to be from Brodia, right? Because why else would she give something like that to me...?

Also, Lapis said something interesting to me when she gave me her present. Something about being newly-included in people that are worried about my health and somesuch. Very weird.

That's probably enough yapping from me for one letter. Like I mentioned, I've put in some instant portraits again---me in uniform, me working at my other job, Diamant is there in one of them, and a few random ones of people I've met. Being here has really helped me talk to people my age and people not my age. It's a real blessing.

I think about you every morning, afternoon, and night, my dearest. Even if you still don't believe this is real... that's all right with me. All I worry about is if you're healthy and happy. Hopefully Diamant and Alcryst have been writing you as well, but if they haven't, I swear that I've never seen them shining brighter or living healthier. They're doing just fine, and so am I.

Write me soon, sapphire. Even if it's just one word, it's one word from my loveliest gemstone.

Signed,

Morion, Professor of Axe, Sword, and Authority at the Officers Academy

[colloquialcolors]

okay, having finished horizon forbidden west today (yayyy), a word vomit of post-completion i itial response/thoughts written in a tinely manner bc i Do need to commute to work in about. uh. 6 and a half hours.

- what do you MEAN. The zeniths brought a DIFFERENT EXISTENTIAL THREAT EVIL AI BACK WITH THE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THESE MOTHERFUCKERS BROUGHT BACK A MANIFESTATION OF THEIR OWN HUBRIS AND FLAWS AND ITS GOING TO. FUCKING. KILL THE EARTH. AND NOW THEYRE DEAD AND I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.

- FOR FUCKS SAKE.

- I JUST. SAVED THE WORLD. CAN YOU ASSHOLES STOP DOOMING IT FOR LIKE. FIFTEEN MINUTES.

- I am very pleased that this time they reset to AFTER the final mission so I can actually feel like Aloy gets some kind of a break after saving the world. again. Like the world is still ending but i can let her take a lap on a sunwing or have her eat some food or something without IMMEDIATE WORLD EXTINCTION hanging over her head.

- It was a little sad to have the base be so emoty tho :( void of everyone except Beta (yay) and Sylens (auUuuughhhhHHHHH)

- OKAY. backtracking.

- Really, genuinely, truly, LOVE how they did Aloy's character arc and development for this game. It was a very intentional choice and I think they pulled it off REALLY admirably.

- It is a very specific, extremely well supported, completely reasonable character trait to have Aloy not know how to ask for help or operate with help, and be independent to a fault. It was very intentional to have her unlearning that as the core emotional arc for the game and it did it. So well.

- Starting the game with Aloy lying to her friends, leaving a celebration early, and going off to start saving the world again, solo, was SUCH beautiful and crisp characterization and sets the bar so wonderfully. Erend and Varl pissed at her for it but still helping, resigned to the behaviour and still steadily working at it. Augahguagahh. friendship. my bread and butter.

- And Aloy growing out of it was NOT a one and done over. It was a growth, over the course of the game- it was a matter of repeated lessons, of various scenarios and people proving themselves, and intentional efforts and missteps. And it means in the last mission, when Aloy is delegating tasks and checking in with people and thanking them for coming- but not trying to turn them away- the difference is so fucking felt. Its core deep, and about someone who understands, fundamentally, how important relying on others and having others is.

- And its just- im not super pleased about all the details of HOW they did it. But I underatand why they killed Varl, from a storytelling standpoint, and I just. The person who was so dogged about getting her to accept help, who Aloy was so clearly pushing away in part because she was worried about getting him hurt or killed. His connections to Zo and everyone else are what starts the base. He is why Aloy can grow that way. And he dies before he sees the full fruition of it. He falls to exactly what Aloy was so scared of- dead as a casualty of a mission she felt was hers.

- But it is because of what he'd done up until that point, that Aloy does not shatter from the loss. Its BECAUSE of what he'd done that his loss does not set her back in connecting and caring about people and accepting help. Letting them risk themselves!!! His work is what secures her ability to survive when he is lost to exactly what she was scared of!! fuck!!!!!

- Shes going around after his death and- shes asking other people how other people are doing, which is so funny to me. queen of emotions. but shes doing it! His absence is his presence and his presence defines the nature of his absence and. the outline love leaves when it goes or w/e. im . auaghgha. varl ilu.

- This isnt even getting into the Beta scenario which like- god. god. Aloy you're kind of awful and I love you. you are ill adjusted and well intentioned and deeply hard on yourself and then you meet. yourself. except not and THATS how you learn to be kinder to yourself. and others. delicious! fucked up! beautiful. Aloy is yelling at Beta about why arent you better and wow the layers. again. wonderfully done.

- So. given all that. you'd think they would have been able to write Zo's reaction to Varl better than that, huh.

- Like damn how did you guys fuck that up right next to the great main plot.

- ugahjhh.

- I really. loved. the way the base grew and changed over the course of the game. The steady creeping of the plants. Items moving in. The way things were added to Aloy's room even though she was never sleeping in it. (The image of people creeping in and adding stuff so that the scant moments when Aloy is there she could enjoy things..... aaaa).

- Kotallo!! What a lovely character. He definitely grew on me. I appreciated the way he had the arm at the end but didnt really opt to keeo it on permanently. In general- idk. I liked the dynamic he and Aloy had at the end. 👌

- Alva. Sweetheart. mixed feelings as a character but I think I understand her archetype so she was. fine. In general the quen really just had me >:|

- fucking. techbro asses. fucking tech bro c e o fucking hero worship fucking dumbasses ugHHhhhhh.

- LOVED the designs of the clans otherwise though- Plainsong? Fucking stunning. The different Tenakth areas incorporating the local terrain!

- The museum in the Tenakth area, and how it fed into the specifics of their founding beliefs and culture? Fucking. Loved it. Bits piecemeal that get focused on and turned into a world and founding belief... dont have words for it rn but really good.

- Talanah spending her whole sidequest being like. Oh God. My Man :( was kind of. eh. but listen shes a girlboss who fixed the Hunters Lounge so she can do whatever she wants. including being really concerned over her manz for her whole plot. u get ur guy. i support you.

- Petra im glad youre doing well im SO sorry i couldnt flirt with you more actively.

- Erend is lovely once its clear he is no longer trying to hit on Aloy. the two of them mourning varl makes me. im fine. its fine or w/e. goddammit.

- Three cheers for various Quality Of Life changes. I am So Glad i never had to inventory manage in this game!!! incredible!!!! pulse your focus!!! wow!!!!!

- LAS VEGAS AREA MY BELOVED. BRIGHT LIGHTS AND SPECTACLE THAT ARE ZERO SUBSTANCE. MONUMENT TO BOTH FLASHY SPECTACLE WITH NO VALUE AS WELL AS INHERENT HUMAN LOVE FOR SHOWMANSHIP AND ADVENTURE AND SHARING EXPERIENCES.

- God I just . Underwater las vegas area. The moment when the water drains and all the lights are on around you and its so meaningless but also like- hey humans did all that! all these stupid advertisments and meaningless announcements about deals long gone and its doesnt mean anything anymore. But it matters that people made it. And its still. Beautiful.

- also tideripper :)

- aaauhh. also. Hodgins from Bones as the inventor guy. 👌

- New machine designs in this game? fucked severely. Slaughterspines? big bat? solar panel ptearodactly? LOCH NESS MONSTER?

- That said the AOE and rolling/stagger in this game is a BITCH.

- Rich People Be Fucking Shit Up as a theme is so funny. and devastating. they do be doing that. haha. :|

- Watching the last hour and Tilda was into Elisabet and Alva had a GF in the Quen and *gestures ay Aloy* and its just so funny like. damn aloy you got so many gays here in your base huh. good on you.

- the. the end. where the new risk is there. and she doesnt tell them. and you go. ah fuck. but then. in the cutscene, immediately after- its clear she does. and she talks about hope. and relying on others and its like. AughhHHhHHHH. growth. she does not tell them when they are celebrating. but she DOES tell them. she takes the moment to breathe. and she tells them. and she works with them. and shes going to work with them. Love It When A Character Develops.

👌

- ah fuck i need to sleep.

- Fun mechanics. Beautiful extension of the game. High highs for writing as well as low lows.

- Someone let Aloy take a fucking NAP, jesus christ.

[driedupeyeballs]

Hi! So! Remember Spider? Yeah? Did you know he’s… not my only… Yuu… OC…

Fox! Fox Peterson! What a dude! Uh! Yeah!

Yeah! So them and spider grew up together, and despite being pretty different in most things they’re practically inseparable. They met when they were both around 7-ish because they lived in the same neighborhood, eventually Fox moved to a different state but they kept in touch and never drifted apart. They got isekai’d into Twst on the same day once when Fox was visiting. Fox had come down to where spider lived because a band they both liked was playing a concert in the area, and the carriages came when they’d gotten split up before the show started. It took them a while to find each other in tw but once they did they made a promise that when they finally got out of tw, they’d see that band in concert someday

.

They have a lot of pets! Idk if I’ve mentioned this but Spider has a gray cat named Smoke in his homeland, and a tarantula named Willow that he has in tw and keeps in his dorm. Fox has three dogs and two cats in their homeland, the dogs are Solar (Golden Retriever), Cielo (German Shepard), and Wisp (Husky), and the cats are Sophie (Russian blue) and Howl (Himalayan)

Fox joined the fencing club at Royal sword academy as they’ve always had an interest in sword fighting and similar things, they have a small sword collection in their homeland.

Fox is trilingual, they speak English, Spanish, and Japanese. They speak a little bit of French but isn’t fluent

They befriended neige fairly quickly, as well as a few of my rsa OCs, namely Dove (twisted from prince Florian) and Elis (twisted from Alice.) Jasper (Jasmine) takes a liking to Fox fairly quickly, but Jasper has a tendency to take a liking to everybody and has gotten into some bullshit bcuz of it, so his vice housewarden is a bit (VERY) protective of who he hangs around with. Che’nya likes messing with Fox cuz he knows they’re too nice to bite back.

Speaking of that, generally Fox is too nice to bite back. They’re extremely logical, calm, and collected in any given situation, which is one of the reasons they work well with Spider, given that Spider has a very short temper and tends to blow a fuse at a lot of things, so Fox can always mediate. There are very few occasions where Fox would ever raise their voice, they always try to be a voice of reason in every situation.

Fox is an ENFJ, which is almost the complete opposite of Spider’s INTP. Also, in the subtlest of Nice moments I could possibly add, Fox’s birthday is exactly 69 days after Spider’s birthday.

I have a third Twst OC who isn’t a Yuu, but he’s an NRC student that spider and Fox befriend, making my main Twst OC trio. Also that oc’s birthday is 69 days BEFORE spider’s birthday (so his is April 7th). Can you tell I’m bad at coming up w birthdays 😔 anyway third little shit is Calliope Mavros (he/she/they), they’re twisted from the hydra from Hercules. Theyre Ignihyde’s sole jock

Floyd’s nickname for them is Garibaldi, which is this funky guy. He calls them any variation of it, but usually “Gari-chan” or “Lil’ Garibaldi.” Unlike Spider, Fox loves their Floyd-chosen name and actually has a little garibaldi plushie that they sewed because of it. Spider is jsut salty he didn’t get called a shark and is instead stuck as Little Koifishie lmao (also shoutout to person from discord server for coming up w Garibaldi for them I could not figure out a good Floyd name for them)

Rook had a hard time coming up with a nickname for Fox bcuz there’s rlly no gender nuetral anything in French so monsieur doesn’t have a neutral equivalent, he ended up just landing on maître des lames, which, if google translate isn’t failing me, is Master of blades.

Also their dynamic with Jade is very silly!!! I shall ramble about them for a moment. Spider works at mostro lounge so Fox and Calliope were chilling there one day, and it was one of Fox’s first times at NRC, and their first time at Octavinelle. Spider warned them to steer clear of the leech twins, but Fox is one of those ppl that can literally make friends with anyone so they often don’t heed such warnings. Spider had to go do some work and told Calliope to make sure Azul n the twins don’t rope Fox into anything. Fox is a bit gullible, but they’re still logical, so Calliope didn’t think it would be a massive deal for her to leave Fox unattended. It’s not like they’re a child. So Calliope went to grab some stuff from his dorm that they’d forgotten, leaving Fox alone. Didn’t take long for Floyd to sniff out the fresh meat, and Floyd was already messing with them from the bat. But Fox wasn’t getting annoyed by his attempts at getting under their skin, they were just doing their thing of being way entirely too nice. Now, Fox is also a big fan of mushrooms, and Floyd noticed the fact they were wearing mushroom earrings and he somehow verbally rolled his eyes, groaning abt how he didn’t need more mushroom lunatics in his life. As if summoned by some godly force, Jade materialized behind Floyd and complimented Fox’s earrings, to which the two began discussing mushrooms and Floyd immediately left the room, groaning as loud as he possibly could. And through the power of fungi and mostro discounts Jade managed to accidentally win over this idiot, then he ends up falling head first soon enough

Thanks for dealing with my rambling

[fardf150]

oc lore dump again bc im bored ⬇️

so last time (like a year and a half ago... oops!) i mostly went over dick and neo but another rly important part of that story is dick's younger siblings

theyre a pair of identical twins, vince and kate. when they were in grade school and dick was in hs, their parents split and the boys stayed with their dad while kate went with mom... though neither was really better off than the other. shortly after (like idk 1-3 years at most) dick was kicked out and dad cut all contact with him.

at some point dad dies. mom is halfway across the country so vince ends up in dick's care. some time later, kate catches wind of this and bus hops all the way to dick's shitty apartment to be with her brothers. mom cant really be bothered to care. the boys are a little surprised to see how much shes changed, not even recognizing her when she first showed up. but theyre quick to support her anyway.

because of his younger siblings, dick starts wanting to be a better person (and also suddenly needs a better job). this both brings him and neo closer together, and sparks their main conflict(s) ("you were willing to change but not for me/you were the one who taught me i should be this way, why are you suddenly changing your mind?/you dont care about me enough")

the kids also have a little group of friends, though im not totally clear on them yet. theres sue-anna, who vince is closest to (and has a thing for). shes like if a horse girl acted like a wolf girl. also she actually works on a farm so she can lift all her friends easy. she wears dorothy braids all the time.

sue-anna's best friend is kiana, whos pretty similar to her personality-wise, though maybe a bit shyer. kiana's older sister janae hangs around their group sometimes; shes like if the cool older brother with a band archetype was a girl. kate really looks up to her.

a lot has changed w/ neo's origin and the general direction of the story but i actually want to do smth w it so i wont give away tooo much yet...

the gist tho is that after neo escapes the lab, the company that screwed his parents out of the rights to their work (and eventually liquidated everything dedicated to their research and shut everything down) finds him and acts like theyre the ones who were really invested in that research, and theyre SO glad theyve found him. does he want to hear about how terrible his parents were?

as for moo and nyra, most of what i had last time story-wise is the same, though i have a clearer idea of what the family looks like now.

nyra has a younger half sister, angelica (or smth idk), and theyre very close despite the ~4-6 year age gap. her stepdad's been around since before she was born, so hes really just her dad and her sister's just her sister to her. her parents both work in childcare in some capacity; her mom is a social worker and her dad works at a high school, so when moo comes into the picture, malnourished and seemingly frightened of almost everything, theyre all too ready to help.

moo also has an aunt, though for some reason his mom refuses to refer to her as her sister. she didnt even know moo existed until months into the story, and everyone is freaked out at first when she shows up. she quickly grows close to the family, though, and helps out however she can. while moo absolutely considers nyra and her family to be his own "real" family, he also thinks it's nice to have a positive connection to a bio relative.

i also have another set of them 🔥

so isaiah, stephen, and ruth all work in the same building, but completely different sections; isaiah is an engineer, stephen works in accounting, and ruth is a janitor. they end up crossing paths when all three of them end up in the basement at the same time, and everything goes to shit from there.

turns out theres this huge underground research lab underneath the building, but all of the equipment is long abandoned and shut down. there they find an ai, adam, and they instantly have to start running. guess it was abandoned for a reason, though adam seems to disagree.

so the four of them are on the run together, none of them happy about it. adam just kind of drags them along and they have no real choice but to comply. hes trying to get them out of this mess... sort of. hes mostly working towards his own goals, but hes pretty sure if theyre met, the rest of them will be off the hook.

the others dont really know each other, but theyre bound by hatred of This Fucking Guy. also turns out none of them really had a lot going for them before this. isaiah moved away from his home town straight out of high school and never really tried to form any meaningful bonds with anyone afterward. he has 1 friend left from school who tries to encourage him to socialize or at least come home every once in a while. it mostly falls on deaf ears. ruth has lots of friends, but none of them are all that close. her family is... complicated. she loves them and they love her, but they can be difficult, and they dont see each other all that often because of that. she has no problem dating, though it's surprisingly tough to find someone who wants something serious with her. most of stephen's family doesnt talk. he and his sister are close, though she lives in another city. his most consistent relationship at the moment is the random guy he always ends up taking smoke breaks with by accident. he doesnt know his name, but sometimes they talk.

basically none of them are losers per se but theyre definitely not winners. also theres some fucky religious theming there but atm most of it's all just vibes. yk how it is

[tiredmamaissy]

i had the question about relationships…or situationship, whatever tf this is.

i’ve liked this guy for a few months now (let’s call him pineapple) we both attend the same school, but we have completely different classes. i only get to see him when i’m walking on campus after my last class. anyway, i have a really close friend…i’ll call her coconut; i told coconut i liked pineapple and she encouraged me to talk to him but i’m was too afraid to do so. it took a lot of her convincing me and pushing me to finally muster up the courage to say something to him, and it honestly didn’t go THAT bad. he wasn’t the most enthusiastic person in the world but he was still nice. assuming that i randomly approached him while he was working out would make sense as to why he was a bit caught off guard but yeah! it was a short conversation. i made up an excuse that he looked really fit and i basically asked if he had any tips on growing glutes, n you know…he gave me tips i guess.

that was about 2 weeks ago. we quickly became friends after that short conversation as i s realized him and i shared some friends. (not sure how i didn’t realize it but yeah). he quickly started inviting me to hang out with his friends and it was honestly great. though i’m a naturally timid and lowkey awkward person, i had fun hanging with him. his friends are literally ALL boys but they’re nice guys! besides some of them making uncomfortable sexual jokes about us two, it’s cool ig…(?).

that’s just some background info so i don’t blindly go into the difficult part of our “relationship”. he’s a fuckboy. like big time. i only had to spend a few days with him to realize how easy he was. went to a party WITH him and ended up leaving WITHOUT him because he was too busy getting his dick sucked by some random girl who pulled up mid-party…but i still like him? i genuinely can’t shake the feelings i have for him. he’s been nothing but kind to me. he buys me things, makes me laugh, makes me smile, all of the above….he just sleeps around…with a lot of girls…while also treating me like his girlfriend. or does he treat me like his girlfriend? i dunno if i’m just delusional. his friends refer to me as pineapples “girl” so i kind of assumed we had a little something going. maybe i am reading this wrong.

i don’t know where i’m going with this. i just want to know if you think i’m wasting my time. does he like me? i hope so…i think so…but it doesn’t stop him from having sex with other girls.

im nearing a point of just pinning him down and screaming how i feel at him. i just want him to know how strong my feelings are, how deep they run, how much i care for him, how much i admire him. i dunno. what do you think, issy?

Thank you for sharing this with me (and us), and I wish you could see my face rn 😭 I would like to say that you don’t have to listen to anything I’m about to say ofc, what you decide to do is completely up to you!

I would say talk to him. Sounds cliche but there’s definitely a lot of uncertainty about the relationship. The biggest being - are you in a romantic relationship or not? And if so, what are the boundaries of the relationship? Is it open? Does he value monogamy? Do you? You would need to sit down and ask yourself what your values and expectations are regarding intimate relationships. The fact that he went with you to a party and left without you bc he was with another person is disrespectful to you (to say the least) despite the relationship status.. so I’m sorry that happened to you.

If he’s openly engaging intimately with other people, I’d say it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t see the relationship as something ‘official’. But at the same time, he’s engaging in relationship-like things w/ you. Which is why you’re confused. Mixed signals. Which is so unfair to you. And the only way to clarify things is to sit him down and have a serious conversation with him about.. everything. And from there you’ll be in a better position to not only answer your own questions, but to make a well informed decision about where you want to go from here

Wish you nothing but the best. 💖

[achitka]

Doors (Chapter 45 - ¿Lo Entiendes?)

(Do you understand?)

Hello, this chapter is a little shorter than the last few. Thanksgiving is creeping up on me, so I gots lots to do before all my babies show up on my porch.

Summary - ish

Mirabel is finally figuring out that her gift of denial is really not working out the way she expected. Camilo shows his prima that box he talked about earlier. Luisa keeps getting stuck hanging about with the adults and Isa apparently wants to be a farmer.

Yeah, that about covers it.

¿Lo Entiendes? (Do you understand?)

Mirabel left the stairs and paused as she came onto the balcony. While she was still in the kitchen helping with supper, she had asked Casita to maybe tone down the glowiness of the magical doors while Señor Hernandez was here for supper. Something about that man was not quite right. This thought had also made Mirabel pause, she did not really know this person, and she was making a lot of assumptions about their character because of a few brief interactions. She’d seen how easily Tío Bruno’s visions could be taken the wrong way and were often misunderstood. Without context, they were just glimpses of maybes.

Still, she never expected Casita to completely change them. They all looked like regular doors, though each was of a different style and color. All except hers, Casita had kept it as it was, family decorations and all. She touched Dolores’s door with her fingertips and was surprised when they disappeared, and she could feel the warmth of the magic underneath. She moved down to Camilo’s room and tried it again, and the same thing happened. Mirabel had to admit that what Casita had done was pretty impressive.

Dolores came out of her room, and adjusted her clothes. She had her hair down for her date with Mariano, and Mira thought her hair always looked so different when she wore it that way. You could really see the red she’d gotten from her Mamí. She was wearing a pretty light green dress and Mirabel realized she’d never seen her cousin in that color before, and she couldn’t help but gape as she said, “Wow, Dolores, you look stunning.”

“Aww, thanks Mira, you don’t think the color is too different?” she asked.

Mirabel shook her head and Dolores tilted hers.

“Is everything okay?” Mira asked.

“Yes, Bubo just came in from the patio, but Tuli is still out there with their Tío. Oh, and I asked Luisa to look after her for you while you help Camilo study.”

“Thanks, Dolores, I was a little afraid I’d have to duck out on him early.”

“We got you, Mira,” she said and patted her on the cheek in much the same way her Mamí would, then she headed for the stairs. 

Mirabel looked back at Camilo’s door and frowned. “Casita, can you…” she started to ask as the door returned to its normal appearance, “… oh…” and Mirabel smiled, “Thanks Casita.” Casita clattered a tile, and Mirabel turned when she heard a door behind her open. Isabela came out of her room with their mother and Tía Pepa. Unlike Dolores, she was dressed more casually, and she looked a little nervous. Mirabel noticed her sister had re-dyed her hair, and it was once again braided. At first, she thought it black but realized it was more a really dark blue with yellow and red highlights near the ends. Isa waved, and Mirabel waved back. It was still a little strange to her that Isa included her in any part of her life. Mirabel watched as they also moved toward the stairs, so she knocked on Camilo’s nose.

“Hey!”

Mirabel pulled her hand back. Camilo must have opened his door whilst she was watching her sister. “Sorry Cam.”

Camilo was rubbing his nose, “You didn’t happen to bring any snacks…” he asked while looking at her empty hands.

“Camilo, we just ate.”

“What’s your point?”

“That we just ate.” He held on to his look of disappointment a little longer, then shrugged, and she followed him inside. There were books and papers on the desk, on the bed, on the floor. Pretty much any flat surface and a few that were not. “I’m almost afraid to ask, but where did you leave off?”

“Oh,” he said and stepped over a nearby pile and pointed to one under a chair, “here.”

This was actually how Camilo usually studied. The ones on the desk were completed items, and everything else were the ones he was working through. Lowest to highest, Mirabel thought as she too, stepped over a pile and sat on the floor. They had gotten through the majority of them when Camilo's mother came in with a tray. Tía Pepa set it on a small table, then turned and was back out the door. Camilo didn’t look up, since he was concentrating with his eyes closed as he tried to come up with an answer to: How many sonnets did Shakespeare write and what is the last line of his last sonnet.

Mirabel set the book she was holding down, and went to the table. She poured them both mugs of coffee and brought it over with a plate of cookies. She could see Camilo was struggling with this one, so she waited as she nibbled on a cookie in between sips of coffee.

“Got it,” Camilo said, “158 and the last line…Love's fire heats water, water cools not love.”

Mirabel handed Camilo his mug while pushing the cookie plate toward him. She set down hers and picked up the book and smiled as she said, “Correct.” She put the book back down and let out a yawn.

“Oh,” he said and took a cookie from the pile, “who brought the stuff?”

“Your mom.”

“My mother brought us coffee?”

“It’s really weak and nice and warm,” Mirabel said with another yawn.

Camilo took a sip and nodded. He looked around and could see there was only one pile left and said, “We don’t have to look at those. I already know them backwards and forwards.”

Mirabel yawned again as she nodded and said, “Can’t believe I’m so tired.”

Camilo took another cookie and leaned back against his bed and asked, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You won’t get mad?”

“Why would I get mad? What did you do?”

“That was probably not the best way to start this… do-over?”

“Okay, what did you want to ask?”

“You remember how you blanked out on me yesterday before dinner?” Mirabel nodded, “You said you didn’t remember anything. But then later it happened again when you were waiting for us all to get back from the mountain. Only that time it went on for a lot longer.” Mirabel wasn’t entirely sure she liked where this was going and shrugged. “Take my word for it. You were still as stone and completely unresponsive. Not gonna lie, Mira. It spooked me enough that I kinda went to my room and yelled at Casita to let you go.”

“Let me go? What do you mean?”

Camilo took another bite of his cookie then a long drink of his coffee and replied, “I was worried that the house had made you apart of itself. Like La Candela was. Yes, I know it sounds crazy,” he said when she frowned, “but that’s what I was thinking.”

“So, what changed your mind?”

“Well, I was laying on my bed, and Casita used a bunch of butterflies, like the ones we saw on the mountain, to show me something and I guess… Are you really doing all right, Mira? And I don’t mean because you’re being yanked in every direction these days. I’m talking about what happens when you… think about the breaking… and what happened to Casita… ”

Camilo stopped. Mirabel knew there were tears in her eyes and she wanted to just let it spill out, but something was still holding it all back. Casita must really be worried about her if she involved her primo. So instead, she shrugged and said, “I’ve been trying really hard not to think about all that. But sometimes... I mean, it’s like I get trapped in that moment of time. It fills up my head and I can’t shut it out. What did Casita show you?”

“You were talking to a younger you, that I assumed was Casita, but you were so frantic because of the guilt you’re still dragging around with you. I’m gonna have to agree with Casita on that one, Mira, what happened was not your fault. Not even a little bit of it. If anything-”

“Don’t say it, Camilo.”

He finished his cookie then set his mug down and said, “Fine, if that’s what you want.”

“It is. I know I need to find a way, but I won’t do it at the expense of Abuela’s feelings. That woman has been through enough.”

Camilo picked up another cookie and said before he put the whole thing in his mouth, “While that’s true, maybe you ought to consider it as an option.”

“No,” she said a little more forcefully than she meant to, “I can do this; I just haven’t figured out how yet.”

Her primo pursed his lips like he was about to say something but thought better of it. He shook his head, then seemed to recall something at that moment and leaned over to pull a covered box out from under his bed. He flicked off the cloth cover and dust blew up into the air. Mirabel caught a whiff of it and flinched as that nervousness intensified. He started shifting the contents around and said, “I found this under my bed after this Casita woke up, and I wondered why. Think I know now.”

“What is that stuff?” Mirabel asked, leaning in to see what was inside.

“Souvenirs of a bygone era,” Camilo replied cryptically.

“Really?”

He reached into it with a flourish and pulled out several small decorations. Mirabel looked at the ones he’d handed her, they were all adorable, and she smiled as she held up a cut out of a butterfly to the light. For whatever reason, as she examined them, she felt that nervousness that got a little worse when she noticed there was a small tear at the tip of one of the wings. “Where did you get these?” she asked as she picked up a half-finished paper boat.

“These? Just stuff I collected since they were all discarded by the maker because they weren’t perfect,” Camilo smiled. “This,” he said and pointed, “is my box of imperfections.”

“Your what?” Mirabel asked, curious now.

“Box of imperfections,” he repeated.

“Why would you have something like that?” Mirabel asked as she noticed a fold that didn’t look quite right on the prow of the boat. She ran a finger across it, then set it aside, not wanting to notice anything else.

Camilo had been watching her the entire time and said, waving a hand, “I don’t know, seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“So, what else is in there?”

“Oh, all sorts of things. A few tassels,” he said and held one up, giving it a jiggle. Mirabel noticed the strings were not all the same length and cringed a little. “A mostly finished painting of the Encanto. Not sure why this didn’t get finished.” Mira could see what the problem was. The colors used to paint Casita were all wrong. “I’ll have to find a frame for it.”

“Where did all this come from?”

Camilo sat straighter and handed her another cookie, saying, “You made all of this stuff.”

“I did?”

“Not surprised you’ve forgotten some of it. Who’d want to remember gifts that were made and dismissed. You never stopped making them though.”

Mirabel picked up the butterfly again and touched the small tear in its wing. She remembered then that Camilo had taken her discarded efforts on more than one occasion.

Camilo continued, “The fact that you don’t seem to remember most of this is also kinda weird, but there is one thing you should see.” He shifted a few things around, then pulled out a small box that was decorated with hand drawn butterflies and flowers. He handed it to her, and the contents rattled a little. Mirabel frowned. She did not want to take it, but Camilo gave the box a gentle shake, so she reluctantly accepted it. She carefully removed the lid and immediately put it back on.

“Where did you get this?” she said, trying to push it back into his hands.

“You know where,” he said, pushing it back.

Mirabel’s hands were shaking a little as she set it in her lap and stared at the box; she’d thrown this into the trash. She just couldn’t look at it after that day. She carefully took the lid off and stared at the tiny diorama it contained. She’d spent the months leading up to her Gift ceremony planning out with Camilo what their new rooms would look like. Tío Bruno had helped her make the tiny furniture, so she could move it around where she wanted. Camilo had found the tiny rug for her to put on the floor. He said it was because he hated getting out of a warm bed onto cold wood. She examined the scribbles on the walls and floor with her fingertips. She remembered they’d looked quite real to her then. Since she didn’t know what her Gift would have ended up being, she’d included all the things she might get a Gift for. In fact, everything in the little box was the same as her room was now, right down to the trees and mountains on the walls and the little map on the floor. Mirabel spent a little time righting the furniture, smiling as she moved each piece to its proper place.

“This was the first thing I put in that box,” Camilo said, “and I kinda understood why you didn’t want to keep it, but you worked so hard on that, seemed a shame to toss it.”

Mirabel couldn’t think of anything to say to that. She’d thought about this box over the years but figured it was long gone, and she asked, “Why show it to me now? ”

“I guess because you know there’s never going to be a perfect moment to deal with... what’s been bothering you. It’s very obvious that letting go of your guilt is really the only way you’ll be able to move past this. The truth is, I probably wouldn’t have put two and two together if Casita hadn’t made a point of showing me what it did. We both know that it is also not a coincidence that your ideas from eleven years ago got incorporated into your room... into the whole house really. Anyway, you may say you’re working on finding a way, Mira, but I think you’re lying to yourself.”

“No, no I’m not.” Mirabel snapped, “I told you I just haven’t had enough time to figure it out yet, and what would you know about any of that anyway? It’s not like you ever cared about what happened to Casita,” her tone was accusatory as she stood up, causing the box to flip onto the floor. She knotted her hands up in front of herself as her nervousness increased. She’d almost added ‘or me’. Camilo didn’t respond, but he must have finished her unspoken thoughts in his head, and her fingers tightened.

He still didn’t say anything, he just started to pick up the various items he’d taken out of that box of imperfections, except the diorama. That he collected and put the bits inside. Camilo was never one to shout when he was really mad, and Mirabel knew she’d done more than that. She’d purposefully hurt his feelings. She could always tell because he would just stop everything and give her the look he was aiming at her now. Mirabel would have liked it better if he shouted, then at least there was a chance he’d forgive her. Why was she doing this?

Camilo got up and pushed the other box back under his bed with his foot, and shoved the small box back into her hands as he went past her to the door. Before the breaking, he would have just expected her to leave in a huff, and she would have. Anything so they could get back to pretending to be that perfect family. Camilo was her first and sometimes only friend. He was trying to help her, and she was doing her best to push him away with flippant, hurtful words. She thought of the oak tree on the mountain and how she’d used it to free herself from similar things her abuela and the people in town would say. Mirabel’s sadness welled up again, leaving a painful lump in her throat. She knew those episodes really were getting worse, not better. She’d thought that when they moved back to Casita all those problems would just go away. Everything would be fine.

Camilo looked back at her as a few tiles above him shifted, and he paused then said, “Can’t say you’re wrong about that, Mira, but I do care about this Casita because I care about you. So, if you don’t want my help, or don’t think you need it, then I guess we’re done. Should probably leave it at that, thanks for the assist studying, prima. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Mirabel’s fingers tightened on the box as a tear fell. That guilt, that she was holding on to so tightly, was again being directed toward someone else. All because he wanted to help her. A second teardrop fell. Lately, she’d noticed that her buried anger with a certain family member about Casita falling was the actual source of that guilt. She didn’t want to be angry with them anymore, and she told herself she’d forgiven them for everything that had happened. Mirabel thought of the dream, that she was realizing, was not one. This Casita was new. One that the old had set into motion prior to the breaking, and Mirabel had really been feeling the weight of that responsibility.

A few tiles shifted nearby, and Mirabel closed her eyes as she took a breath to help push down that leftover guilt and pain. (I am my mother's Gift to you, Elegida.) Mirabel heard that little voice in her head say. Her new Casita had pulled her primo into this because he was someone she would actually listen to. Someone she could have an argument with and still want to have around. Someone who had collected her imperfections and stuffed them in a box... just in case. Someone who would never be afraid to tell her she was wrong.

She was lying to herself; magic wasn’t going to fix this problem. But maybe talking about it wouldn’t hurt as much as she thought. She set aside the diorama and said with a small sniffle, “I’m sorry, Cam, can I have a do-over?”

Camilo met her gaze; he wasn’t frowning anymore. He nodded and shut the door.

-----------------------------------

Luisa came out of the kitchen to the edge of the courtyard to wait for Tuli to come back from her walk with her Tío. She hoped that was going well. She’d noticed the way Tuli had been watching her Tío all through dinner. It reminded her of the way Mira would watch their Abuela. Always expecting and receiving a dismissal for whatever she had tried to add to any conversation. Luisa would watch her sister stow away her unhappiness and try again. She glanced up the stairs as Dolores came down. She told her that Tuli and her uncle were heading toward the front door. Luisa paused as she looked up. All the doors no longer showed their owner, but looked like regular doors. Now that was weird, since she didn’t feel any different and used two fingers to lift a very heavy planter a few centimeters off the floor. She wondered if when Mira was helping with the cooking, she’d asked Casita to do that and if so, why? She also realized that Tía Pepa’s clouds hadn’t really manifested the way they normally did.

Luisa turned when Isa came off the stairs, looking just a little frazzled. She came over to her, and it amused Luisa that she was nervous enough that she asked her opinion on the colors she’d used on her hair. Luisa couldn’t actually answer as their mother pulled Isa along into the kitchen. Tía Pepa was following along behind with a barely disguised look of amusement. When Luisa turned back, she realized the doors were all back to normal. She was curious now, so figured she’d ask Mirabel tomorrow. It was interesting that this Casita would do that, but after last night, Luisa was convinced that this Casita was Mirabel’s alone.

Abuela came into the courtyard with Tío Bruno, they sat down on one of the sofas nearby. Her Tío waved for her to join them and Luisa, a little reluctantly, came over and sat next to her Abuela and Tío. Her Abuela was holding a small box that was just the right size for a pair of shoes, and she was nervously tapping the top of it. Shortly after that, Rodrigo, her mother and Tía Pepa all came out of the kitchen. Her Tía was whispering something to her mother that made her mother snicker. They noticed her sitting there, and her mother waved her sister off, and Luisa felt weirdly uncomfortable. Just what were those two gossiping about.

Casita bounced a few more chairs in their direction and everyone had a seat. Once everyone was settled, her abuela opened the box. It was full of pictures, and she reached in and pulled out one that had four smiling young women. They had their arms linked with their heads close together. The only difference between them being that one was wearing a veil, while the other had rings of flowers on their heads. Luisa realized the one with the veil was her abuela. She was not sure who the other women were, but the family resemblance of a few of them was striking.

Abuela handed the picture to Rodrigo, and he was taken aback. He looked closer and seemed to recognize one of those people, and he asked, “Do you have any others?”

Her abuela nodded, and she took out another with just two women this time. Rodrigo handed the first photo to Luisa as he accepted the next and Rodrigo’s eyes went wide as he asked as he pointed to the other woman, “Santa Maria, could it be?” he asked himself, then returned his attention to Abuela, “Who is this?”

“That is my sister, Juliet.”

He sat back and said, “So what Señor Bruno thought was true.” he said, then leaned forward again and pointed at the woman in the picture. “This is quite remarkable,” Rodrigo paused and looked at the triplets, and said, “My Abuela, whose name is Juliet, recently shared a story about a missing family member. Her sister, who she thought lost at the beginning of the thousand’s day war.”

“I suppose, in a way, I was. When the Encanto came into being, the mountains that surrounded our village were quite high. And though we were finally safe from the dangers that brought us to this place, that safety came at the cost of my husband, Pedro.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that. My condolences, Doña Alma, I did not mean to bring up old grief.” 

Her Abuela nodded, “Thank you, Rodrigo, but you’ve brought me something I never would have expected. You’ve brought me news of one of my sisters, so I am actually quite happy.” Abuela said as she handed off the box of pictures to Pepa who looked a little astonished. Her Tía stared at the box in her hands, then began to leaf through the contents. She looked up for a moment, excused herself, and moved to a table behind the sofa to take a closer look at the photos.

“Oh, then that means you would be my tía abuela?” Rodrigo asked.

Her Abuela nodded, and she smiled a little as she watched her other children get up and crowd around Tía Pepa. Her Tía looked mildly annoyed, but she didn’t have a cloud as she began pulling photos out one by one, passing them to her siblings after flipping them to examine any writing on the backs. They were pointing and whispering in a way that made Luisa think this was something her Abuela had never done before.

Her Abuela returned her attention to Rodrigo and asked, “Do you plan to remain here?”

Rodrigo was still holding the other photo and replied, “I was planning to stay here for a time. Perhaps a month or so. I’ll have to return to Cartagena eventually, as I am currently a post graduate student at the university. I have spent the better part of the last two years collecting stories about that particular era in Colombia’s history for my thesis. Speaking of, do you think it would be possible for me to interview you, as well as some of the other elders in the village?”

Her abuela looked over at her children again, who were now comparing the photos, and said, “Yes, I think that would be fitting. We will be having a town council meeting in a few days. I will put the in the request there for others at that time.”

“My thanks, Doña Alma. I am looking forward to recording your story.”

Luisa noticed the slight drop in her Abuela’s smile. Mirabel had told her and Isabela one night as they were sitting in their tiny bedroom at their Abuela Valentina’s house, some of what had happened the night of the miracle’s creation. Her Abuela really was trying so hard to move forward, and Luisa felt a little guilty for not wanting to sit next to her.

Casita clattered some tiles near the door and opened it. Tuli came in with her Tío José in tow, literally. She was pulling him forward as he gaped at the magical doors. Tuli did not look upset, but it was obvious she’d been crying.

Rodrigo got up from his seat and said, “Gabi, you’re never going to believe this. ”

Tuli had given up trying to make her uncle move faster and let go of his hand as Luisa also got up. She met Tuli halfway as her Tío continued forward. Luisa knelt down and Tuli asked, “Where’s Mirabel?”

“She’s helping Camilo study, so I volunteered to look after you while she’s doing that.”

“Oh, okay,” Tuli said, and Luisa noticed she was clutching something small and fluffy.

“Whatcha got there?” Luisa asked and pointed to her hand.

Tuli’s expression looked worried as she held up the toy and said, “This is Tena. My Mamí made him for me when I was really small,” a curious smile crossed her face and she added, “My Tío brought him, and he looks even better than before.”

Luisa wondered about that before. Tuli, she’d noticed, only talked about before in terms of her mother and then only in bits and snatches. Never her father and aside from Bubo, she preferred to be with females. Men in general she avoided.

“Can I see?” Luisa asked.

Tuli’s face tensed as she pet the stuffed rat, then carefully set it in Luisa’s hands. Luisa accepted the rat and smiled and said, “This is so beautiful, Tuli. Your Mamí had some talent. Never seen such a realistic toy.” The fur that covered the animal felt real, and there was a faint scent of daisies when she brought it closer to her face to examine it. “Kinda feels like he’s filled with beans,” Luisa said as she hefted it once, then returned the rat to her.

Tuli shook her head and said, “It’s mostly sand and pebbles from a beach that used to be by where we lived. So, I can do this,” and Tuli draped the rat on her shoulder.

“That’s pretty neat. Fura’s sure to be jealous. Come on, let’s go up to my room. I have quite the collection of stuffed toys myself,” Luisa said and held out her hand. Tuli left the rat on her shoulder, and together they headed for the stairs.

--------------------------------

Isabela and Bubo were walking along behind her prima and her former fiancé, and Isa was once again delighted that she was not, in fact, engaged. She looked over at Bubo. He looked just as tense as she felt. She wondered if he was going over in his head what he wanted to say. Isabela was very curious as to what had happened on the patio, so she asked, “So how did you talk with your Tío go?”

“Better than I was expecting, actually.”

“That’s a relief.”

Bubo nodded and asked, “You wouldn’t happen to know if there are any flats for rent? I need to find someplace that isn’t a storeroom to live with Tuli.”

“No, I’ve pretty much always lived with my family, but there are a few older folks that might.”

“Well, if you hear about any... ”

“I will. Any idea where Mariano is taking us?”

Bubo let out a short laugh and said, “No, I forgot to ask,” he looked up at her and Isa felt herself blush. Bubo tripped a little, and Isa steadied him as he caught himself. Deciding they needed a change of topic, Isabela asked, “When are you supposed to graduate?”

“It was supposed to be last spring. But I missed my last semester because of the civil war.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.”

“Rodrigo reminded me that I already had enough credits to graduate. Will just need to see if I can get my diploma.”

“Well, that’s good news then.”

“Yes and no, Rodrigo also told me they’ve shut down the college indefinitely,” Bubo said as they turned a corner. Isabela thought of Luisa then. If her dream of going to school got thwarted once again, she would not take it well at all. “Either way, it’s a moot point because I would still need to get back to Bogotá to make the request. But enough about me, Mirabel mentioned that you and Luisa were considering going to university. Did you have a line of study in mind?”

“Line of study? “

“Yes, at most universities you pick something to major and minor in. My major was entomology, and my minor was in political theory. So if you had your grandest wish, what would you like to study, major and minor?”

Isabela thought for a moment, “I’ve always had an interest in plants, all kinds really. Trees fascinate me, before I got my Gift I would lie under a tree and look up at the branches and wonder how they made leaves and such. I actually still want to know that. After I got my Gift, still did that, but I almost felt like I could feel the roots talking to their neighbor trees. I remember I told my Papí once that the trees were talking to each other with mushrooms.”

“You say that like you stopped listening for some reason.”

Isa felt the beginnings of her vine sleeve and said, “I really don’t want to get into why that happened, Bubo. Maybe some other time.”

His surprised look worried her, but he just nodded and said, “As you wish, so we’ll move on to a minor.”

Isa’s vine sleeve dissolved, and she said, “Farming. I’ve actually learned a lot from the farmers around here. And my Tía Pepa knows a lot about irrigation.”

“So, botany and agriculture, then.”

“Yes, there’s just so many plants I don’t know anything about. Like this,” she said and turned her palm upward and a small plant grew, “I’ve seen pictures, but the text is in a language I don’t know, so it is my unnamed plant friend.”

Bubo leaned in to look at it and asked, “Do you know if it will flower?”

“No, since this is all I know, I would need to plop it in some soil and wait for it to grow up. Why, does it look familiar?”

Bubo shook his head and replied, “Since I’ve been primarily studying butterflies, I learned the names of a lot of flowering plants, but that’s mostly by the blooms.”

Isa turned her hand, causing the plant to dissolve, and she said, “Well then, I’ll just have to pot it and see where it goes.”

Bubo looked under her hand and said, “It’s gone... fascinating.”

Isa poked his glasses, deciding she did not want to talk about plants anymore, and said, “Tuli told me you’re originally from Brasil.”

Bubo nodded as he straightened to resettled his glasses and said, “Yes, my father was from Colombia. He was there for work and met and married my mother in Brasil. They settled there, and I lived there until I was about Tuli’s age.”

“Oh, did your family move to Colombia?”

Bubo paused and said, “No, my parents were killed in a bus crash and that is how I came to live here with my abuelos.”

“I’m sorry about your parents, Bubo.”

“Thank you.”

Isabela noted he didn’t seem overly sad, so she asked, “This is going to sound like a weird question, but were you thinking about them when those flowers bloomed on the patio earlier?”

Bubo did not answer right away, he looked thoughtful then said, “Not consciously, but I was talking to your sister earlier about them, and it did stir up some old memories. Not bad ones. My mother loved her roses, and I could have sworn that was what I was smelling,” Bubo said then went on to tell her about them then paused and asked, “Wait, my hand was tingling while you were holding it. Did you use your Gift to make the ones on the patio bloom?”

Isa was surprised that he’d even noticed. People might think having a Gift was great, but on some level, most were afraid of that magic, especially the newer folks in town. A little nervous now, she shrugged and said, “Maybe?”

She knew that wasn’t really an answer to his question, and Bubo raised an eyebrow as her face automatically shifted to Señorita Perfecta mode. Isa sighed; Her dislike when it came to explaining herself was something she still struggled with, and she really didn’t want to hide anything from him. Not being perfect meant she’d have to own up to such things. Killing off her old habits was turning out to be one of the harder things she was learning, so added, “I did, though I wasn’t trying to, or I would have asked first, but I’m finding that wrangling in some of the newer aspects of my Gift to be a bit of a challenge.”

“That is so interesting.”

She kept expecting him to react differently than he did. No fear, no anger, just curiosity, but still, she said, “Is it? Don’t get me wrong, Bubo, most of the time I feel like my Gift is really all just for show. Making flowers is not the most difficult thing for me.”

“You did just say earlier that you were trying new things. You just haven’t caught the knack of it yet, so I’m going to disagree with you on that one. I can honestly say, I’ve not smelled those flowers since I was a child, and it wasn’t until you grew them that I realized just how much I loved and missed that scent. So, thank you for that.”

Mariano stopped and turned back to Bubo and indicated he should join him. There was a small pastry shop that had opened on the main thoroughfare, and Dolores came and pulled Isabela to her as Mariano and Bubo walked away. Dolores found an open table with four chairs, and she sat with Isabela.

“Mariano is getting a little too good at surprising me,” Dolores said as she looked at the shop, “I’ve been wanting to come here for weeks.” Dolores paused when she noticed Isabela’s tense look and said, “Relax, Isa, you’re giving me stress looking like that.”

“Sorry, I don’t even know why I’m so nervous,” Isabela put a hand on her knee to stop it from bouncing.

“I’ll tell you why, you really like him, and you don’t want to make a bad impression.”

“Doli, I already tied the man up and hung him from the ceiling.”

Dolores let out a snicker and said, “I know.”

“How?”

“Tío.”

“Oh, for the love of puppies – does everyone know about that?”

Dolores shrugged and asked, “Why did you use your Gift to make those flowers?”

“I actually,” Isa paused as Dolores leaned in, “I actually just wanted to hold his hand, the rose part just sort of happened.”

Dolores giggled and said, “That is so cute, Isa. I am so excited for you.”

Isa smiled; it was so nice to have her best friend back. Isa felt the flowers sprout in her hair. Their scent was the same as the flowers on the patio. Isa covered her face with her hands and let out a growl. “Why does that keep happening?” she asked, as she gave her head a shake, causing the flowers to fall apart.

Dolores gathered up her hands and gave them a squeeze, “Isa you don’t have to be perfect, you just need to be you. That’s who he’s interested in.”

Isa was not sure how to take that and almost wanted to be mad, but she just couldn’t seem to muster that up because she knew she was blushing again. She tried to relax a little because she knew she would never have done something like this if not for her prima, so there was no point in getting mad about what was clearly obvious to her whole family. Still, she envied how easily Dolores had shifted from meek wall flower to someone who was so much more relaxed and confident. Isabela had never really felt all that confident or relaxed before the breaking because every day was a performance. She’d been convinced that if she failed in that, surely bad things would follow.

Her self-imposed isolation from everyone but her family after the breaking had given her a little time to figure out some things. Finding out that people she thought were friends, were really just hangers on made her more than a little angry. What made it worse was that she saw that she’d treated her little sister that way.

“I was going to try to warn you about Bubo’s parents since I heard him talking to Mirabel about it. Just didn’t get the chance during dinner. Mariano is quite the distraction.”

They both started laughing then, and their conversation ended when the menfolk came back laden with a pair of trays. One was piled with various beautifully arranged pastries that Mariano set in front of Dolores. Bubo was carrying a small tray with some drinks. They sat down, and she took the coffee that Bubo set in front of her. She noted there was just a touch of milk and she smiled. Isa felt the flowers resprout, and she decided she’d leave them this time. He did say he loved the scent of them.

------------------------

If you were wondering what Camilo was going on about - I posted an almost edited part of that in encantober here:

Next chapter... probably before christmas... probably

Last Chapter:

[riftwalker-limbro]

i will Also report on brainworm cycles from Friend Fashion Show >:)

change made to my interpretation of transference therapy & how the mental state of a warframe works in general: the absolute nonsense the Orokin put them through when they're Shiny New, through some mechanism or another, erases their memory of who they were before (this ring a bell for anyone else this may have happened to?) (BEING DELIBERATELY VAGUE DO NOT ANSWER)

(oops this turned out long.)

this has various implications.

very convenient for annoying political enemies who know too much! :)

thanks to the killswitch that the orokin build into the warframes (if the warframe is not transferenced with in a certain amount of time, they risk going permanently dormant. when tenno start waking up again, a method is developed to remove this killswitch, but until then, warframes can be genuinely permanently lost this way), if a warframe does remember stuff & goes rogue, it is very easy to... pretend the warframe was lost in battle.

too bad for everyone involved, the tenno are much better at their jobs of Transference Therapist to the warframes than the orokin had anticipated (insert big >:( about children being used as therapists in the first place) (insert big :] about the orokin once again underestimating everyone who isn't them and overestimating themselves) and warframes regaining their memories is more common than those who are aware of this feature know. it is not a public secret - tenno/squads who have awoken warframes remain silent about it because this is Obviously Dangerous (tirse awakened verica before the old war ended, which is how verica was able to influence tirse to rebellion, with her story & memories) and barely anyone is aware of this having happened to someone else. also, it is dangerous, since if the memories are particularly painful, the warframe has a very high chance of going rogue for various reasons, so tenno who *have* lost a frame like this are. not very enthusiastic about it

warframes retain their personalities before they are awakened, they just don't... remember their personal history. they also aren't inclined to wonder about it very much.

post-old-war, as tenno awaken, and then awaken again, and regain their own memories, and realise they're finally free from the yoke of orokin supervision, awakening warframes becomes more common. this is a domino effect - one warframe who knows another who's been awakened will Start To Wonder, and many tenno who know about it find it inhumane to let their warframes continue to be without their memories, find it disrespectful to them as the people they used to be. before tenno are aware of warframe memories, they think the warframes are simply machines with a few quirks of personality that the orokin built in to be more adaptable in battle. the warframes and tenno alike just feel more able to just Be Themselves now that they're pretty much their own faction instead of under orokin thumbs, even though there's still a lot of ongoing misery in the system sometimes

i've also been turning over different fighting styles/transference differences during the old war and after the tenno re-awakening - since in the war within, we see that margulis pretty much locked away our void abilities before we ever became the Warframe Operators. things we, for example, were not able to do include all of the void powers except for the Puff we can do in the second dream, and the ability to do transference from anywhere except a pod. this latter bit i'm also giving an extra interpretation - kelth will not be able to transference-talk to a warframe unless actively transferencing with them (sign language obviously does still work) until they complete teshin's training in the war within. after that, through *jazz hands* void bullshittery, kelth is able to set up a passive transference-field aboard the orbiter, in which everyone (transference-capable entities, that is) can just hang out telepathically if they want, and bonds made within this field will last outside of it as long as both parties maintain it (this part is... subject to future rotations)

and now for the Really Juicy stuff that's specific to My Guys:

verica went through her awakening in the Old War, which is how she was able to share her story and memories with Tirse, who was motivated by it to help in the Tenno Rebellion (she went by Octavia in the period between forgetting & remembering. she picked her old name again, as not many warframes would end up doing, because she picked it once already and it was a good one dammit give it back)

vince was never in an orokin lab to get conditioned into forgetting, so he doesn't even know that this is a thing for other warframes. he does get his own flavour of partial amnesia though ✨ which has been discussed before so he's not Completely Getting Out Of The Misery

bruiser has Not been through awakening and I don't think I'll let him until after Sufford does. bruiser's awakening isn't very painful, it's... pretty mellow stuff, since he was a semi-volunteer, and it actually makes him more chilled-out - he likes to hang out in Fortuna afterwards (they were His People long ago and he wants them to be again) & help them out (subject to more rotations)

sufford's memories are Incredibly Painful. the subject of this entire post actually was the piece of the puzzle that allowed me to figure out the flow of the Sacrifice quest in my timeline & this whole post is basically for Sufford. i'm not sure if i should already disclose exactly what's gonna end up happening with him when he awakens because it will be a bit of a Plot Twist. (i think i wrote in the tags of a previous suffordpost that i was mulling over making him umbra - in the end, i didn't, is what i do want to say)

[doodle17]

🏳️‍🌈, 🏳️‍⚧️, 😇, 🧸, 👻, 🎶, 👽, 💤, 🦾, 💝, 🫂, 💔, 🪢, 📓, 👗, 🔪, 🌟, 🥇, 🍫, 🎭, ❤️‍🔥, 💄, 🖕, 😺, 😬, 😭, 😶, Morris

I used to see him as Asexual, but possibly seeing him as Bi or pan now.

Cis, but also, maaaybeeee transmasc.

I don't think he really thinks much about it. Whatever is out there, is out there even if it's just nothing. He doesn't want to spend his time worrying about it so much.

His mom would play old tapes of classic 70s and 60s songs to keep him calm while she worked on her car when he was younger.

This is so random but I've always thought that he'd be scared of clowns lol. I like to think he was really skeptical about going to the Aquato circus for the first time because of it.

I like to think he enjoys all types of music. Or at least certain type for each genre. Hell, he'll even enjoy a few opera songs. His music taste is everywhere! You can go from listening to a sweet love song to a heavy metal song about death with his kind of playlist.

He can do that thing where he can bend his thumb behind his hand. I also think he's double jointed in his fingers (like me :D)

Very rarely, he sings in his sleep. It's usually for a few seconds or even a few minutes. He'll sing a few seconds of on song, before fading out of it, going completely quiet, then come back with an entirely different song. It only happens a few times, so when it does happen the junior agents are always there with a camera in hand.

Most people think he was in an accident and that's what caused him to be in a lev chair, but I personally believe he was born with it.

Likes holding hands, resting his head on your shoulder, etc.

I like to think he's best friends with Lizzie, Norma and Adam. I actually think they're childhood friends! They all play DnD together, and sometimes go to conventions and stuff.

After his dad died his mom became very quiet and distant. She still loved her son very much, but her husband's death pretty much broke her heart. Basically, the situation is kind of similar to Sashas Mom and Dad, I guess.

His families were mechanics! His mom and dad owned a small shop together that was in the lower floor of their house.

I like to think that his pirate radio becomes pretty big! Especially when he's older. It's still pirate radio, though. But other than that, he actually uses a bit of his mechanic knowledge to help fix up a few cars and other things for other agents.

Throws on whatever doesn't smell dirty and looks best. Depending on the situation, he may take a little more time on what to wear, but he usually puts on whatever.

Bro can, and will smash a boom box over your head if he has to. He already owns 4 more of them.

He obviously wants to be big in the music industry. But a small part of him kind of wants to go back to his hometown and work on cars with his mom. Just have to see what the future holds!

This guy can come up with comebacks, you'd think he rehearsed the whole thing. You better not fumble when arguing with him or he WONT leave you alone about it.

Loves classic fast food. Y'know burger, fries, soda, etc. Its one of the things he ate a lot with his mom, so it's a nostalgic kind of comfort food. It was one of the things they'd bond over. Hanging out in the back of his dad's truck and telling stories while they people watched the busy street.

Idk if these count as lies, but he's always telling "stories" on how he ended up in his chair. They all seem to somehow relate to getting in a fist fight with a psychic bear.

HUUUGE flirt. He loves saying cheesy pick up lines to make someone smile.

Carries a switchblade comb with him to keep his hair nice. Hair like that doesn't happen on its own!

Absolute sass machine. If he's upset, you can tell by his voice. Anything that leaves his mouth when angry is just snark and sarcasm.

Hes definitely a dog person. I like to think he owns at least 3 back at his house. Maybe one cat that he leaves food out for.

(Don't really have any hc for those last 2)

I like to think his mom and dad were fluent in Spanish, so, so is he! Sometimes he, Norma and Lizzie will talk to eachother in Spanish to keep anyone else from eavesdropping. Usually when they're gossiping.