#and hanging out in my spotify playlists since...last...winter? i think?

[whatacaitastrophe]

Everything Has Changed - Chapter 13

Previous Chapter

Chapter Song Inspiration: "Morally Grey" - April Jai ft. Nation Haven

Chapter Warnings: PiV sex, Oral sex, Hand jobs, blood drinking, threesome F/M/M, masturbation, voyeurism, edgeplay, teasing, female ejaculation

Spotify Playlist: Here

Author Notes: thank you all so much for reading, reblogging, liking, and commenting on this fic (and the first one)! if you are interested in supporting me in other ways, I have a Ko-Fi link <3

i also have a discord server! it was created to coincide with my twitch channel but you do NOT need to follow/subscribe/watch my twitch streams to come hang out with us <3 we talk a lot about bg3 and share memes and fics.

Chapter 13: Your Body I'll Worship

The door to the bedroom swung open magically with a small wave of Gale’s hand, and a wave of pride washed through Fallon. Gale had been working so hard to completely re-learn magic in this new way, and it didn’t surprise her that the simple spells were coming back to him as easily as breathing. Though Fallon only got the briefest moment to think about Gale’s progress before she became distracted by the sight laid out before her. 

There were even more black dahlia petals scattered throughout the room, candles on every surface that could safely hold a candle, and there was soft music coming from a phonograph in the far corner. Then there was the bed. The big, beautiful, four-poster bed that would most certainly hold all three of them comfortably, even to sleep. “Did you buy the bed just for this?” Fallon teased Gale. 

“Would you believe me if I said no?” Gale chuckled. “Despite her size, Tara somehow manages to take up a very large spot on the bed when we sleep, so I purchased this particular piece of furniture well before I ever suspected I’d be sharing it with two other people.”

Fallon turned her attention to Astarion. “So what does this next phase of atonement entail, exactly?” She asked, a coy smile blooming on her face. 

Astarion and Gale stopped moving once they reached the foot of the bed, and Astarion let go of her hand in favor of resting his hands on her hips and pulling Fallon closer to him, and she instinctively wrapped her arms around Astarion’s neck. “The first thing it involves, darling, is the removal of this absolutely delicious dress. Since I ruined the last one in my desperation to have you, I thought I’d let someone with slightly more patience do the honors.”

Astarion brushed Falllon’s hair from her shoulder and he leaned down to kiss the exposed skin, slowly working his way to her neck carefully so as not to bite her. Another pair of hands found her back and began to undo the fastenings, and it almost startled her, until she remembered it was Gale. “Though it really is a shame that Astarion ruined your Winter Solstice dress, I have to say, I’m quite fond of this one,” Gale made quick work of the fastenings on the back of her dress. Cool air hit Fallon’s back as it became more exposed as Gale unfastened each clasp; until finally, the only thing keeping the dress on Fallon’s body were the off the shoulder sleeves, and even they were losing a battle with gravity under the weight of the fabric. 

Astarion removed his mouth from her neck and took a step back so he could look at her, reaching behind his neck to grab her hands and place them at her sides. “Turn around, darling. I think the sorcerer deserves a front row seat to what he’s been missing, don’t you?” Astarion kissed her slowly before taking hold of her hips once more and helping Fallon turn around to face Gale. Fallon did not break eye contact with Gale as she felt Astarion’s deft fingers sliding up from her hips to the bodice of her dress. With a firm tug, the black fabric floated to the floor, and for the first time in over two years, Fallon was naked in front of Gale. 

“You cheeky thing, no undergarments at all?” Astarion teased as he wrapped his arms around Fallon from behind, his fingers tracing idle circles on her sides and he kissed her neck again. “Seems we’re not the only ones who planned ahead just in case .” 

“The dress didn’t exactly allow for them.” Fallon defended herself, though a mischievous look shone in her eyes. It’s not like she couldn’t have picked another dress, after all. For once, Gale seemed to be too stunned to speak. Gale flexed his hands at his sides, like he wanted to reach out and touch Fallon, but he kept stopping himself. Fallon extended a hand to Gale, inviting him to come closer. To touch her. “I promise to let you know if you do something I’m not comfortable with.” 

Gale forced himself to look away from Fallon’s body to study her face. He hesitated for less than two seconds before taking Fallon’s hand in his and closing the space between them. Gale’s hands settled on Fallon’s hips and he looked past Fallon and over her shoulder, presumably to look at Astarion. Whatever look or silent communication the vampire offered the sorcerer, it was enough to embolden Gale to take another step towards Fallon. 

“May I kiss you, Fallon?” Gale asked softly, and her stomach did a backflip at the anticipation as she nodded. Gale reached up and tucked his index finger under her chin, using it to tilt her head upwards as he leaned in. When their mouths connected, a jolt of electricity shot through Fallon’s body as emotions she’d buried deep within her catapulted themselves to the surface once again as Gale flooded her senses. If kissing Astarion made her feel like she could conquer the world, kissing Gale was the reminder to survive and come home afterwards. Both feelings were equally important, and equally capable of reminding Fallon how loved she was, and to be loved by both Astarion and Gale? It might just be all Fallon has ever needed. 

At the exact moment that Fallon deepened the kiss, parting her lips for Gale to explore her mouth with his tongue and carding her fingers through his chestnut hair, Fallon felt Astarion’s mouth back on her neck again as his cool hands slid over her skin. Where one hand moved up her body to cup her breast, kneading it with fingers and rolling his thumb over her pebbled nipple, the other moved down, the pads of his fingers dancing over her torso and her hip bone before sliding into place between her legs. Fallon moaned softly into Gale’s mouth as she felt Astarion’s fingers dip between her folds just enough to tease, and she felt her vampire smirking in amusement against her neck. Fallon knew she was already drenched with arousal– she had been since the moment she walked into the dining room and saw them standing there, dressed in their finest. “My, my, you have been thinking about this,” Astarion hummed, nipping gently at her shoulder with his teeth. 

The hand that occupied her breast moved away, and Fallon almost made a noise in protest until she realized what Astarion was doing: He’d taken Gale’s hand from under her chin and guided it south to join Astarion’s other hand at the apex of her thighs. “Feel how ready she is for us and we’ve hardly done anything.” Astarion praised, replacing his hand with Gale’s. Gale pulled away from their kiss just far enough to look at Fallon, brushing their noses together as he silently asked for her permission before going further, and Fallon gave him the slightest nod of her head in return before kissing him again.  

Fallon shuddered, moaning at the contact as Gale teased her further than Astarion had, pressing two fingers inside of her experimentally and brushed his thumb over her swollen clit. Gale smiled against Fallon’s lips. “I’ve missed that sound,” He admitted, shallowly thrusting his fingers inside of Fallon before pulling them out and stepping back from her entirely. Gale raised his fingers to his mouth, covered in the evidence of her arousal, and licked them obscenely. “I missed that, too.”  Gale added, and Fallon realized Gale was not making eye contact with her as he did this, but with Astarion. Oh how she wished Astarion was not standing behind her, because she would have loved to see his reaction.

While she might not have seen the look on Astarion’s face as Gale taunted them both, Fallon felt Astarion’s cock begin hardening against her back and when Astarion turned Fallon back to face him, she saw the way his red eyes flared with need before he pressed his lips to hers in a heated kiss. The vampire’s hands roamed over her back and over her ass, giving it a firm squeeze before ending their descent at the back of her thighs so he could hoist Fallon into the air. Fallon instinctively did a little jump and wrapped her legs around Astarion’s middle, though she did not stay there for long. Astarion only carried her far enough to climb onto the bed and drop her in the middle of it. Fallon reached forward and started unbuttoning the buttons on Astarion’s shirt, desperate for skin on skin contact that he currently could not provide. “You have too many clothes on. The both of you.” Fallon complained, and Astarion tutted as he sat back on his knees between her legs. 

“Patience, darling. I love your enthusiasm, tonight is about you. We’re going to take care of you, and if you want to take care of us , then you’ll need to be a good girl and wait.” Astarion instructed firmly, and Fallon whined.

“At least take your damn shirts off, I’m completely naked!” Fallon pouted.

“Your sandals are still on.” Gale pointed out with a smirk, nodding to the gold shoes and the laces that ran up her calves, and Fallon glared at him playfully. “Though I supposed we could oblige– both in removing your sandals and some of our own clothing, if that is what the lady wishes.”

Fallon nodded her head furiously and Gale chuckled as he began unbuttoning his shirt. The offending clothing hung loosely on his body as he joined Astarion and Fallon on bed, taking a seat about halfway up Fallon’s body. The scar from The Netherese orb remained on his chest, and Fallon reached forward to trace it with her fingers. Gale took her hand in his and kissed her fingertips tenderly and held her hand over his heart for a moment, the soft look in his eyes conveying everything he felt. Astarion had removed his shirt as well and instead of tossing it to the side, he passed it to Gale with a devious look on his face. She looked back and forth between Astarion and Gale, trying to figure out what sinful trap she’d just fallen into. 

The soft look on Gale’s face had been replaced with one of desire as he reached for Fallon’s other hand. “Scoot back, and put your arms above your head, sweetheart, since we all know you can’t be trusted to keep your hands to yourself and just enjoy this.” Gale teased, and Fallon’s mouth dropped open as she realized what was happening. Fallon did as she was told, and watched with wide eyes as Gale tied one of the sleeves of Astarion’s shirt to her left wrist, and tied the other sleeve to the nearest post on the bed. Now Fallon understood why he told her to scoot back– it was to close some of the space between where she lay and the edges of the bed. Still, on such a large bed, the fabric of Astarion’s shirt was pulled fairly tight without much give. 

“Is that uncomfortable, darling?” Astarion asked lovingly, and Fallon gave an experimental tug. The fabric was soft and Gale had done a good job of not tying the knot around her wrist too tightly, so she shook her head. Once Gale and Astarion were satisfied that Fallon was not uncomfortable, Gale walked around to the other side of the bed, removing his own shirt, and using it to restrain Fallon’s right side, repeating the motions of tying one sleeve around Fallon’s wrist and tying the other to the bedpost, while Astarion unlaced her sandals and removed them from her feet. Once Fallon was secure, Gale returned to his spot on the bed at Fallon’s torso and he propped himself up on his elbow to lay on his side beside her. 

“No mage hand?” Fallon teased, sticking her tongue out at Gale, and the sorcerer chuckled. It was one of his favorite spells to use in the bedroom, if her memory served her correctly. 

“Not tonight, sweetheart. I would much prefer to use all my concentration on making you forget everything but our names.” Gale had the audacity to wink at her as he teased, and Fallon's eyes blew wide with lust. 

Gale reached forward to brush a stray hair from Fallon’s face, dragging his fingers down to her neck and lightly wrapping his hand around it. The pressure was so light that it was barely there, but just the feeling of Gale’s hand there was enough to make Fallon whimper with pleasure and Gale grinned. “You look so beautiful laid out like this, Fallon,” Astarion praised her as he ran his hands over her thighs, spreading her legs apart further as he leaned shifted his position to settle between them on his stomach, and he kissed her inner thighs slowly, avoiding where Fallon desired him to be most. “I’ve been imagining this moment for days.” His nose ghosted over her clit and Fallon let out a noise of protest as he moved away from the sensitive spot. 

“Use your words, sweetheart, tell us what you want.” Gale instructed, his thumb stroking the column of her neck gently, applying light pressure to his grasp as he did so. 

“For the love of Ao, if one of you doesn’t touch me soon I’m going to go insane.” Fallon demanded, invoking the name of the holy creator in vain desperation.

“That’s more like it.” Astarion cooed. Pleasure shot through Fallon’s body as Astarion’s tongue found her center, lavishing her with languid strokes of his tongue. Fallon arched her back at his touch, tugging on her restraints. She opened her mouth to let out a cry of pleasure, but the sound was muffled by Gale’s mouth on hers again, kissing her fiercely as his hand played with her breasts. Every touch, every kiss, it was all heightened by the fact that there were two people showering her body with attention. Every time her body was finished reacting to something Astarion did between her legs, Gale would roll his thumb over one of her nipples and leave love-bites on her neck and she’d be moaning all over again. Though Fallon had no concept of time in that moment, she was certain that this would be the fastest orgasm she’s ever achieved in her life. “That’s it, darling, let go.” Astarion lifted his head to look at her as he slid two fingers inside of her and kissed her inner thigh, nipping at it softly. When Fallon moaned at the sensation of Astarions teeth scraping her inner thigh, his fingers suddenly slowed significantly inside of her.

“ Astarion ,” Fallon whined impatiently, and Gale looked up from her neck to see what was going on. “ Please .” 

“Sorry, love, I was just thinking.” Astarion apologized with a smirk. 

“Can you think later? ” Fallon huffed. 

Astarion laughed and leaned down to press another kiss to her inner thigh. “Darling, can I bite you?” He kissed her thigh again. “Right here?”

Fallon’s heart rate doubled. “You can do whatever you want as long as you don’t stop .” She demanded, lifting her hips towards Astarion’s face in encouragement. 

To her dismay, Astarion laughed again, but at least he kept his fingers moving inside of her as he looked at Gale. “Gale, darling, I’ve got an idea, but I’ll need your assistance.” Fallon looked up at Gale and saw the look of realization dawning on the sorcerer’s face as whatever idea Astarion had clicked in Gale’s mind, and the sorcerer offered the vampire a wicked grin in response. 

“You’re a bloody menace, Astarion. A beautiful, bloody menace.” Gale praised with a laugh. So far, the only drawback of this arrangement was that it gave Gale and Astarion this opportunity to work together to torture her in this way. Soon, Gale was moving away from Fallon and she made another noise of protest, tugging at her restraints to try and get him to come back. 

Then she realized where Gale was going. He joined Astarion at the foot of the bed. “May I?” He asked Fallon, and she nodded, grateful for Gale’s continued initiative in obtaining her consent after their earlier conversation. She was also grateful for Astarion, who she knew would immediately pivot if Fallon told Gale “no” at any point. Fallon nodded her head, and for a moment, she had two of Astarion’s and two of Gale’s fingers inside of her and Fallon moaned appreciatively at the way they filled her. “Well that’s something we’ll have to explore later.” Astarion mused as he removed his fingers from her sex. Fallon watched with curiosity as Astarion got out of Gale’s way, allowing the sorcerer to take his place between Fallon’s legs. There wasn’t quite enough room for them both to fit comfortably, so how– oh. 

Oh . 

Fallon watched in stunned silence as Astarion repositioned himself so he was straddling Gale’s back, hovering over the sorcerer with his cock visibly stiff in his pants, and Fallon’s imagination immediately drifted to what this scene would look like if Gale and Astarion were also naked. The idea of Astarion leaning over Gale’s body to kiss her while he fucked Gale, while Gale feasted on her cunt, the three of them all moaning together…Fallon only snapped out of her thoughts when Astarion leaned forward and brushed some of Gale’s hair from his face, tying it back into a half up-half down bun with a rubber band Gale handed him. Astarion then leaned forward and kissed Gale’s cheek. “Go on, love,” Astarion encouraged in a low voice against the sorcerer's ear before gently biting Gale’s earlobe. “You were just saying how you’ve missed the way she tastes. Now’s your chance.” Gale looked at Fallon once more, giving her a beat to change her mind. Little did he know that with how close cumming she currently was, there was absolutely no way she was changing her mind. Not as her mind took the opportunity to remind her that one of Gale’s favorite camp pastimes used to be burying his face between her legs while she tried not to moan so loud she woke up the rest of their companions (her attempts were not successful very often). 

When Fallon didn’t protest, Gale moaned slightly as he lowered his mouth to her swollen clit, rolling his tongue over the bud thoroughly for the first time in over two years. Carnal lust took over, and Gale immediately became a feral animal who’d just been offered a proper supper for the first time after only having had scraps from the trash bin: he couldn’t bring himself to savor it after starving for so long. Gale moaned and it vibrated against Fallon’s body, and she wished that she could reach out and grip his head to bring his face as close to her as possible, if only for something to hold on to. Gale certainly didn’t need any encouragement to keep going– for this was not the slow, methodical, draw-out-her-orgasm-so-slow-she-might-burst-into-tears version of Gale that she’d often laid with on a bedroll that was absolutely not big enough for two. This Gale lapped at her clit with his tongue and fucked her with his fingers so thoroughly, curving them inside of her with each thrust inward. 

Fallon’s head fell back on the bed as she cried out in pleasure at the attention being returned to her body. When she opened her eyes, she saw Astarion watching the scene before him carefully, his eyes darkened with carnal lust as he watched the way Gale devoured Fallon’s cunt, and the way she reacted to it. Fallon saw Astarion’s hand twitch at his side, like he was considering stuffing it in his pants to touch himself, but he held back. Likely because he knew there would be something better if he could wait a little longer. Astarion reached for Fallon’s leg, and brought it over Gale’s shoulder, the new angle allowing Gale’s fingers to go deliciously deeper inside of her. Fallon moaned again and her legs quaked as the orgasm Astarion previously robbed her of came careening back down the tracks at breakneck speed.

“Astarion, if you’re waiting for–” Fallon started to tease Astarion for taking his time, but the fact that she could still speak only spurned Gale forward and he doubled down on his efforts, eager to leave her breathless. Despite her warning, Astarion still took his time. He held Fallon’s leg up and brought his lips to the inside of her ankle, leaving a tender kiss. He moved next to her calf, then the inside of her knee, slowly working his way to her thigh. He knew Fallon too well– the second he bit her, she was probably going to cum, and Fallon scowled at him when he looked up at her while his lips grazed her skin.

Astarion found the spot on her inner thigh he was looking for, and he bit down. Within seconds of the sharp pain of Astarion’s fangs breaking her skin, Fallon moaned so loudly it echoed off the walls of the tower. Fallon felt her orgasm coat Gale’s fingers, mouth, beard, and the sheets beneath them as she climaxed, strength of it causing her to writhe with pleasure so strongly that Astarion and Gale had to actively use their free arms to hold her in place. Neither of them pulled away until they were certain her high had come to an end, and as Fallon struggled against her restraints try and prop herself up on her elbows (and failing) she looked at Astarion and Gale with a wild look in her eyes, and she was certain she’d never seen either of them look as pleased with themselves as they did in that moment. 

Astarion swiped the blood slowly trickling down her leg with his finger, licking it clean as he climbed off of Gale so the other man could sit up. “Did you know you could do that?” Astarion asked curiously with a grin, observing the absolute mess Fallon made on the sheets. It was certainly messier than any orgasm Fallon had had before, with either of the men sitting between her spread legs, and she shook her head. “It’s amazing what happens when the two of you work together. Who knew?” She teased, winking at them.

“I don’t think we’ve properly satisfied her, Astarion. She can still form coherent sentences.” Gale looked at Astarion with a devious grin, his face still coated with her slick, as he reached between Fallon’s legs and brushed his thumb across her over-stimulated clit. Fallon whimpered, her body shaking slightly in response and she tugged fruitlessly at her restraints again. 

“So it seems. We should do something about that.” Astarion agreed. 

“I want you to fuck me,” Fallon blurted out and their heads snapped back to her, nudging Astarion with her foot so they who she was referring to. Then she looked at Gale. “I want him to fuck me, and I want you to watch.”

“Would you like that, darling?” Astarion asked as he stared at Fallon, his voice almost giddy with anticipation at the idea.

Fallon nodded her head. “I’ve been thinking about it ever since Gale told me he overheard us at the inn in Daggerford.” 

Astarion looked at Gale in surprise. “Did you, now?”

Gale swallowed, nodding his head as he reached down to adjust his cock inside of his pants, clearly straining uncomfortably against the fabric. “Truth be told, I’ve also been thinking about it since I overheard you.” He admitted with a breathy laugh.

“Take off your pants, and come sit by me, Gale. Untie me while you’re at it,” Fallon requested, her tone was a little more desperate than she would have liked, but part of her was still remembering how to breathe after the explosive orgasm she’d just had, so all decorum had gone out the window.

Gale did as he was told, untying her first before fidgeting with the laces on his pants and pushing them down to his ankles, kicking them off as he went. His thick cock sprung free and Fallon’s mouth watered . She’d forgotten how nice Gale’s dick was, and she immediately wanted to throw her own plan away and put his dick in her mouth. That was for another day, though. Astarion removed his own pants and climbed up the bed towards Fallon. As soon as Astarion’s dick was within reach, Fallon wrapped her hand around his shaft and began pumping her hand along it dutifully with a satisfied grin on her face at being able to use her hands again. Astarion’s head dropped down onto her shoulder as he shuddered and moaned, at her touch. His mouth temporarily found her neck before reaching her mouth and kissing her passionately.

“On your knees, darling.” Astarion muttered assertively against Fallon’s lips and she moaned softly, fully understanding what her vampire intended to do. Fallon kissed Astarion once more before releasing his cock from her grasp and rolling over onto her stomach. Fallon made direct eye contact with Gale as she positioned herself on her hands and knees, spreading her legs so Astarion could insert himself between them. Gale’s hand was already loosely wrapped around his stiff cock, stroking it idly as he watched the scene before him unfold with wide eyes. Fallon could feel the mattress shifting beneath her as Astarion settled behind her, and soon she felt two fingers slide inside of her, eliciting a moan from both Fallon and Gale. 

“Astarion, I need you.” Fallon whined, and she heard the vampire laugh lightly from behind her as he fingered her slowly. Deeply. It felt good, but it wasn’t enough. She needed Astarion to fill her more than she needed air in her lungs.  

“I was just making sure you’re prepared, my love.” He teased, and Fallon shook her head. 

“I’m always prepared, now please , just fuck me .” Fallon pressed her hips back towards Astarion encouragingly.

Astarion laughed again, but did as he was told and removed his fingers from within her. “She’s a needy little thing, isn’t she? So eager to have a cock deep inside of her.” He mused, addressing Gale, and the sorcerer nodded.

“Yes, I do recall that about her,” Gale agreed, a smug smirk on his face and Fallon pouted. “Give her what she wants, Astarion. She did ask rather nicely.”

Fallon huffed in response and she felt Astarion positioning his cock at her entrance, his head just barely brushing it teasingly. “Show us exactly how you touched yourself when you were eavesdropping, and I’ll show you exactly how I fucked her.”

Gale’s grip on his cock tightened as he began to stroke himself, and all three of them moaned as Astarion finally slid home, pushing himself deep inside of Fallon until he was buried to the hilt. Thankfully, Astarion’s patience had run out, and he didn’t make Fallon wait before beginning to thrust into her with a steady rhythm. Though his broad hands rested on her hips as an anchor, his grip was not so tight that Fallon could not move, and soon she was rocking her hips back and forth, meeting Astarion thrust for thrust so he fucked her even deeper than before. The moans leaving her mouth were endless as Astarion moved inside of her, and though Fallon wanted to close her eyes and just enjoy the pleasure, she forced herself to keep them open so she could watch Gale. 

The sorcerer’s eyelids were heavy as he watched the two of them, and Fallon noticed that he was stroking his thick cock in time with Astarions thrusts as the vampire fucked her. Gale’s body  had relaxed a bit more as well, his free arm resting lightly on his stomach as he leaned back against the many pillows, his legs spread a little further apart. Just far enough apart that if Astarion and Fallon were a foot closer to Gale, she could easily lean forward and wrap her mouth around Gale’s cock and suck him off while Astarion fucked her. It was certainly an idea, one she had every intention of exploring at a later time, but right now? This was exactly what she wanted. 

“Like what you see, sorcerer?” Astarion goaded as he reached forward to wrap his fingers through Fallon’s unbound dark hair and pull her upwards by it to kiss her neck. The delicious new angle had Fallon moaning loudly, and she reached between her legs to caress her aching clit now that her hands were free. Fallon turned her head as far as she could and nudged the side of Astarion’s face with her nose encouraging him to kiss her. Astarion obliged, kissing her fiercely as he began to fuck her harder.

“Gods, you’re beautiful .” Gale moaned as he began pumping his cock faster, and Fallon honestly was not sure if he was referring to her, Astarion, or the both of them together. Either way, Gale’s voice was absolutely wrecked, and when Fallon pulled out of her kiss with Astarion to look at Gale, she could see the pre-cum dribbling down the head of his cock. It was obvious Gale was close, Fallon knew she was close, and if the frantic way his hips were moving was any indication, Astarion was close, too. 

Astarion’s hand covered Fallon’s at the apex of her thighs and he pushed her hand away, his deft fingers taking over atop Fallon’s clit where she’d left off, and her body shook as she reached back behind her to card her fingers through Astarion’s curls. He planted a kiss on her shoulder. “That’s it, darling, show Gale how pretty you are when you cum for me.”

Fallon locked eyes with Gale. The sorcerer was biting down on his lip, hard, and the way he whimpered when Fallon looked at him with desperation could only mean one thing: Gale was trying to wait for Fallon to orgasm first, before allowing himself to climax, and his restraint was greatly waning. “ Please .” He managed to choke out, and that was all it took to send Fallon careening over the edge as she came with both Astarion and Gale’s names on her tongue as her body shuddered. Within seconds of the start of Fallon’s peak, Fallon and Astarion were treated to the sight of Gale cumming in his hand so violently that the long ribbons of semen burst from his cock with enough force to land on Gale’s chest, and a few drops even made their way to Gale’s beard. That was enough for Astarion, and the vampire found his own completion with the shout of an expletive, almost as though the intensity of his orgasm took him by surprise. 

When they were all spent and panting, it was only then that Fallon eased herself off of Astarion’s cock and crawled up the bed towards Gale. Though she had every intention of licking the spunk right off of his body to clean Gale off, the sorcerer was one step ahead of her and with a wave of his hand, the mess disappeared. Fallon smirked as she settled onto the bed beside Gale, resting her head on the pillow next to him. “Neat trick.” She teased. Gale only chuckled in response before leaning forward to press a kiss to the crown of Fallon’s head and turn on his side to wrap an arm around her. 

Astarion followed behind Fallon and took the spot on the other side of her, and a giddy smile spread on her face as the vampire wrapped his arm around her as he kissed her shoulder. “I think it’s safe to say you’ve properly atoned.” Fallon teased them both as she grabbed both of their arms and pulled them closer to her. Gale and Astarion happily obliged, moving inward until there was very little space separating the three of them at all.

“Thank you both for this whole day,” She turned her head towards Astarion and kissed him deeply. “I’m a very lucky woman to be so loved by two wonderful people.” She turned her head to Gale next and kissed him with an equal amount of emotion. 

“Please, we’re the lucky ones.” Astarion scoffed. 

“I have to agree–not many people would offer us the level of grace and forgiveness you’ve provided us with, despite everything. Though I don’t think I can call you a saint, unless you feel like devoting yourself to Sune, because she might be the only deity that would call what just occurred in this bedroom holy –”

“Hey, I’m not the only person in this bed to blame for that!” Fallon laughed, pouting playfully. 

“But if I were ever asked to nominate someone for a holy title, you would be the first person to come to mind. May we never give you a reason to need to extend such grace and forgiveness a second time.” Gale smiled at her sincerely, and Fallon felt a wave of emotion rush through her. 

For the first time in two years, laying between her vampire and her sorcerer, she felt completely whole.

Chapter List

[whumpsday]

Whumpdreaming: A Whump Playlist

hope you all enjoy this little playlist i made! i tried not to reuse songs from my Kane & Jim character playlists, since i already used a lot of whumpy songs on that (especially the kane playlist lol). you can give those a listen too if you wanna!

Listen Here ▶️

Bonus song here ▶️ (it's not on spotify)

CW: various songs on this playlist contain references to torture, death, and sexual assault. nothing graphic, but it is there.

Whumpmas in July Day 11: What songs/playlists are perfect for whumpy daydreaming?

tracklist and selected lyrics under the read-more

01. The Dismemberment Song - Blue Kid

So don't you squirm, don't you fret I'm not gonna hurt you... yet I just feel the need to be getting A little of you, a lot of blood-letting I know the sensation you're probably dreading But cutting you up will be so refreshing for me

02. God Help Me - Emilie Autumn

God help me Believe me, this wasn't what I wanted But no, I can't leave, he's got me Won't you shine in my direction and help me? Won't you lend me your protection and help me?

03. The Horror of Our Love - Ludo

I'm a killer Cold and wrathful, silent sleeper I've been inside your bedroom I've murdered half the town Left you love notes on their headstones I'll fill the graveyards, until I have you

04. Mother Mother - The Veronicas

I'm hungry, I'm dirty I'm losing my mind Everything's fine I'm freezing, I'm starving I'm bleeding to death Everything's fine

05. Shoot Him Down - Alice Francis

I want to choke him Want to maltreat him I want to squeeze him And break his neck, neck, neck, neck

06. Choke - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THE FOUND ME

Stop, drop And drag me into place And lock the fire escapes I'll break your pretty face

07. Animal Skin - Bryan Dunn

I know where you're vulnerable Wild things can't get comfortable Quiver and shake, quiver and shake Oh no, oh no, oh no! You were being kicked about Backed up, teeth and claws are out Covered in blood, covered in blood Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow

08. I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters

I can't decide Whether you should live or die Oh, you'll probably go to heaven Please don't hang your head and cry

09. Shalott - Emilie Autumn

She says, "How long can I live this way Is there someone I can pay to let me go 'Cause I'm half sick of shadows I want to see the sky Everyone else can watch as the sun goes down So why can't I?"

10. Tomcat Disposables - Will Wood

Little heart racing and praying, "Something, keep me safe" I think it saw my face Okay, one hungry day Is nothing come what may But then winter came inside for three nights Left me grinding my teeth between my walls And gripping my dreams tight

11. Gay Pirates - Cosmo Jarvis

And they put glass on my sandals So my feet would bleed all day And they forced me to wear them Or they said they'd make you pay

12. Little Pistol - Mother Mother

Under the skin, against the skull They put a little chip so that they know it all I think I might be scared Of the world and the way it makes you feel afraid

13. Inside You - Newton Schottelkotte, Karim Kronfli, The Blasting Company

I’ll have you begging for my mercy Loud enough for all to hear And at last I’ll finally take you by surprise As I hold you close and in the throes of passion’s piercing cries I’ll see the light inside you As it leaves your eyes

@whumpmasinjuly

[theshinsun]

Call me a safe bet I'm betting I'm not I'm glad that you can forgive Only hoping as time goes, you can forget

Shades of Blue - an extremely long Aokuro fanmix by Shinsun

[LISTEN] [cover art]

[journey-of-the-hob]

Day Zero: Hey guys! My name is Ashley, and I’m starting this blog because I’m going to start going to the gym soon. I’m not that out of shape, but I decided it would be nice to tone up a bit since summer is starting soon. Just get rid of a little pudge from winter y’know? Maybe I’ll even meet someone special with my new bod. I’m gonna do a 30 day diet and exercise challenge don’t worry I’m not going to post every single day, but every couple of days just so I can give a show of my progress. This is gonna rock!

Day Three: Jeez! This whole working out thing is so much harder than I bargained for. I’m sore all over and I miss junk food, eating salad all the time is already lame, but I’m gonna keep with it. I can’t give up after only the third day.

Day Five: Week one is done! I was almost ready to quit after day #4, but there was this guy at the gym who was in really good shape and he offered me some encouragement to finish out my workout and some advice to help me get the most out of my workouts. He was there again today and it was nice to have some help with my sets. His name is Josh and he’s been going to this gym for a while and he said he likes helping out the newbies. He gave me a bottle of vitamins from a company that he buys from and said it would really help me out. It was the male formula, but I mean it’s not like it’s gonna hurt me. They’re just vitamins right?

Day Eight: I got a really killer workout in today. Ever since I’ve been taking those vitamins that Josh gave me I’ve had so much energy and getting through the workouts hasn’t been so hard. I also met a few of Josh’s buddies and they’ve started working out with us too. They’re a great group of dudes and are super encouraging. I’m also feeling more competitive, I guess you could say. Like the guys are challenging me to do better. I’m actually starting to like going to the gym.

Day 10: I’ve kinda been dragging lately even with those pills. I told the guys and they started grilling me about my diet and I told them what I’ve been eating, and they told me everything I was eating wasn’t good fuel for weight loss and I wasn’t getting the energy I needed to keep killing it at the gym. The advise that I start eating more meat, and Josh recommended that I get some whey protein from the company that makes the vitamins. If it works like those I’d say it would be worth it.

Day 12: Hell yeah! I just finished week two and I look amazing! My stomach is flat and I’ve got ab definition. The hard work at the gym has definitely been paying off. That being said I’ve been feeling really hot and tense lately just kind of...pent up. The guys told me that I might want to get laid or masturbate just to let some steam off. Normally I’d be kind a pissed if a guy told me that, but I have been feeling hornier than normal lately, seeing people check me out and tell me how hot they think I am really gets me going I guess, and all of their other advice has helped so far. When I got home from the gym I decided to watch some porn to get me in the mood, which was weird because before I started going to the gym I never like porn. I thought it was degrading, but for whatever reason watching it now was making me soak my panties. It felt great jilling off, but once I put on some girl on girl porn and that really helped me get the big O.

Day 13: it was one of my rest days, so I decided to take it easy. I popped one of my vitamins like I do every morning. The initial dose that Josh gave me was gone. I bought more, and yeah I could have bought the female formula, but I kept with the male version. I’m pretty sure it was stronger and if it works why change? I went to the café by my apartment to grab some coffee while I was out for some errands. There was a seriously hot chick working the counter. I could see her checking me out so I flexed a little without being too obvious. She was blushing and giggling, so I decided to ask for her number, and she gave it to me! I’ve never hit on a chick before, for that matter I never really thought I was into girls but it felt so right, and I couldn’t help staring at her rack, fantasizing about what she was like in bed. Oh yeah I’m definitely enjoying the perks of my new physique.

Day 19: The guys sent me a workout playlist on Spotify. At first I didn’t like it. It was heavy metal, but I found that it but me in the right headspace for the workout. After a while I started to dig it and I’ve been jamming to it all the time even when I jill off. The guys are really awesome and I feel like I owe them big time for helping me get everything out of the gym. I need to think of a way to thank them.

Day 23: I’m starting to get pretty shredded. I’ve been hanging out with the guys a lot more too. We go out drinking on the weekends and get hammered, sometimes we go catch a game at Hooters. To thank Josh and the Bros for helping me make it this far I’ve been taking care of them all the time. To help them relieve stress after a long workout I’ll let them take turns fucking me, whenever we watch a football game I’ll usually give them all blowjobs during halftime. This one time I bet my ass that the Cowboys would win, and of course they lost, but Josh’s cock felt so good in my ass! The guys have been pretty supportive of me lezzing out too, especially since I share all the details and videos of my escapades to our group chat.

Day 26: I still have an off and on thing with Dinah, the hottie from the coffee shop. Anyway she’s been coming to the gym with me the last few days. I got her a bottle of the chick formula vitamins and she’s not building a lot of muscle but she’s looking really good, especially her ass. I think her rack has been getting bigger but that’s a plus for me! I’ve found that I have a thing for babes with big tits. She’s also been listening to my workout playlist. She’s so submissive lately, and there’s nothing better than when she got her head buried in my snatch. It’s so awesome having her there as my little gym bunny, and when I flex she turns into a blushing mess. I gotta go. Got a date with Dinah and she’s bringing a friend. If I’m lucky we can convince her to join us for a three way.

Day 30: The challenge is over and I’m jacked! This was the best decision I’ve made in my whole life. I’m in terrific shape, I’ve made awesome new friends, I’ve got a hot as fuck girlfriend, who’s cool with me having a few side chicks. Looking back on my old posts it’s weird how much I’ve changed. I’m just like one of the guys now, and I love it. I couldn’t imagine hanging out with the prissy girly-girls I used to, some of them were pretty hot though, so maybe I’ll call them up sometime. Me and the boys are going to a strip club tonight to celebrate my progress. I should take Dinah. It would be hot if one of the strippers would make out with her while me and the guys watch! The boys will probably want to pregame with a gang bang, but that’ll be good cardio so I’m totally looking forward to it! Anyway, signing off.

[bananaofswifts]

By Jeff Opperman

Mr. Opperman is the global lead freshwater scientist for the World Wildlife Fund. He is the first author of the book “Floodplains.”

I had just started to scrub the sheet pan when I saw the glare from across the sink.

“Dad, that is so loud!”

Then, to her friend on the laptop Skype screen: “Sorry, my dad is now a huge Taylor Swift fan.”

My daughter is used to me wading into a pile of dishes to the soundtrack of my teen years — usually Bruce Springsteen or the Replacements. She seemed somewhat irritated that her father — a 50-year-old conservation scientist — had strayed from his musical lane.

Well, why not? Americans of all ages know that Ms. Swift is one of the most successful, influential pop stars of all time. She has won 10 Grammy Awards and is up for six more in this year’s competition. (The winners will be announced at a ceremony on Sunday night.) She surprised her millions of adoring fans with two unannounced albums in 2020 — “Folklore” and “Evermore.” Both received critical acclaim for their storytelling and production, but I heard another reason to celebrate them: They are filled with the language and images of the natural world.

The language of nature has been steadily draining from the vocabulary of our culture. With these sister albums, Ms. Swift pushes back hard on that trend.

On the albums, nature has primacy of place from the beginning: their cover art, with photography that shifts with the seasons like the menu of a farm-to-table restaurant. Recorded in the spring, “Folklore” finds Ms. Swift dwarfed by trees in a foggy vernal forest. On “Evermore,” recorded in the fall, we look over Ms. Swift’s shoulder to a stubbly field, bare trees in the distance reflecting the last glow of an autumnal sunset.

Both were recorded during the seemingly endless quarantine and isolation of 2020, and with these cover photos, Ms. Swift seems to be turning to nature for connection and solace.

The albums’ lyrics abound with references to nature: “running like water,” “Gold was the color of the leaves when I showed you around Centennial Park,” “You’ll poke that bear till her claws come out,” “Long limbs and frozen swims/You’d always go past where our feet could touch.”

There are stars, crescent moons, sunrises and sunsets, eclipsed suns, Saturn, comets and auroras, amber skies and purple-pink skies. There are cliffs and precipices and rabbit holes to trip on. Plants grow in the background — bushes, trees, grass, clover, willows and wisteria — and in two songs, ivy or other vegetation grows over characters. The passage of time is marked by wildest winters, spring breaking loose, salty-air summers, autumn chill and gray Novembers. There is snow and cold hands.

An emotional gulf between characters is the “sea you put between us.” Reunions take place “at our old spot, in the tree line.” Tears spill out as “acid rain on the pillow.”

As I’m a conservation scientists, not a music critic, I had to apply some rigor to this claim about the nature of Ms. Swift’s writing. So I analyzed the lyrics of the 32 songs on “Folklore” and “Evermore” and the lyrics of the first 32 songs from the Today’s Top Hits playlist on Spotify. The result? Ms. Swift uses nature-themed words seven times as frequently as the other pop songs do.

Aside from the poetic and aesthetic pleasure all this brings, does it really matter? I think so.

Our culture has experienced a steady and dramatic decline in its connections to nature. American children now spend an average of only four to seven minutes per day playing outdoors, compared with over seven hours per day in front of a screen. By now, they are far better at identifying corporate logos than native plants or animals; they can tell the difference between an Apple and a Coke, but not a maple from an oak.

A 2017 scientific paper published by the Association for Psychological Science reported that nature-themed words were losing ground in our pop culture. Researchers surveyed song lyrics, books and movie scripts and found that words associated with nature have declined steadily since 1950. During that time, the loss of nature words was most pronounced in songs. The scientists scanned the lyrics of 6,000 songs and found that the frequency of nature-themed words had declined by 63 percent. The researchers posit that as we lose our daily connection to nature, we think and write about it less often. Conservationists see these cultural declines as both symptoms of and contributors to many trends reflecting the decline of actual nature.

Against the backdrop of these declines, consider the song “Seven.” In its accompanying video, we see a grainy home movie of a young girl playing in trees as Ms. Swift sings:

Please, picture me in the trees

I hit my peak at 7

Feet in the swing over the creek

I was too scared to jump in

But I, I was high in the sky

With Pennsylvania under me

Are there still beautiful things?

Here, she packs in nature references at a dizzying clip while evoking the landscape of the state where she grew up. The girl in this song does not spend just four to seven minutes outside each day. Rather, nature, childhood and friendship are all intertwined and seared deep in memory.

In Ms. Swift’s lyrics, nature is not remote. It can also be suburban, even urban, and thus familiar and accessible. The backyards where little kids explore creeks become places to party for high schoolers. She name-checks two urban parks: the High Line in Manhattan and Centennial Park in Nashville, her adopted hometown.

Songs like this — in which nature is a place to bond, seek solace or just hang out — may be even more needed than songs that preach about saving it. Because this is not nature as a living (what I do) but simply nature as part of daily life. And that is what we are missing.

Ms. Swift’s songs aren’t going to reverse climate change or the decline of wildlife. But they are a step toward reversing the decline of nature in pop culture, and that matters. If we want to change the world to safeguard nature, and ourselves, we first have to see it. Art can do that.

As I finished the dishes, the song “Seven” came on, with this line evoking an undomesticated childhood: “Please picture me in the weeds. Before I learned civility, I used to scream ferociously.” And I saw my daughter — at the table, working hard as a high school junior — transformed back into her unkempt, tiny form of dirty knees and wild hair. “Hey, that was you,” I told her.

Her eyes gleamed, “Still is.”

Jeff Opperman is the global lead freshwater scientist for the World Wildlife Fund. He is the first author of the book “Floodplains” and a regular contributor to the energy and sustainability sections of Forbes.com.

[swan-of-sunrise]

The Winter Soldier (Chapter Three)

Summary: Steve drops by the VA and listens in on one of Sam’s meetings and later that evening, (Y/N) reflects on her unusual day with the super-soldier.

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings/Disclaimers: Brief discussion of PTSD

A/N: Hope you all enjoy!

Chapter Three (Previous Chapter)

After placing sugar packets and stirring sticks next to the coffee maker, (Y/N) took a seat beside the refreshment table and watched as Sam took his place at the front of the crowded room and began the meeting. One by one, each person would share their struggles with PTSD and how it had affected their lives as civilians; with each person’s story, (Y/N)’s heart clenched in sympathy. These vets have put their lives on the line to protect us, they don’t deserve to suffer, she thought with an inward sigh. She couldn’t count the number of times she’d woken Sam up from a nightmare or had seen him suddenly grow silent and have to distract him from his memories of war. But it was wonderful that people like Sam, people who face the same exact struggles, run programs to help each other out.

Seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, (Y/N) turned to see Steve Rogers leaning against the doorframe of the room, his arms crossed over his chest as he listened to the meeting. Smiling and tugging her sweater tighter around her, (Y/N) turned her attention back to the woman speaking. “The thing is I think it’s getting worse. A cop pulled me over last week, he thought I was drunk. I swerved to miss a plastic bag. I thought it was an IED.”

Sam nodded. “Some stuff you leave there, other stuff you bring back. It’s our job to figure out how to carry it. Is it gonna be in a big suitcase or in a little man-purse? It’s up to you.” Everyone clapped and began standing, so (Y/N) jumped to her feet to man the table. She greeted each person with a smile as they grabbed cookies and filled their cups with coffee, delighted to see so many new faces among the usual crowd. After about twenty minutes of mingling and making small talk, the crowd started to leave so she decided to begin packing up the refreshments as Sam bid them goodbye out in the hallway.

“Don’t take those away those cookies just yet, darlin’, I wanna bring one home to my gran’daughter.”

(Y/N) looked up to see Gary, an older man with an incredibly bushy grey beard and a Vietnam War veteran’s baseball cap, and she smiled brightly before offering him the half-full container. “Take the whole thing if you’d like, Gary, and be sure to say hello to Katie for me!”

That made Gary grin toothily as he took the container. “You know, darlin’, you’re sweeter than this whole damn box of cookies. I’ll be seein’ you next week!” (Y/N) gave him a small wave and resumed cleaning as he limped away.

“You’re pretty popular around here.”

She turned away from the coffee pot and smiled when she saw Steve standing before her, his blue eyes glimmering and his hands shoved in his pockets. “If I am, it’s only ‘cause I give away free cookies; the vets that visit all have a massive sweet-tooth, you know.”

“Are you a vet, too?”

“Nah, I just work here.” She tossed several used paper coffee cups into the trash and chuckled. “A year ago, when I finally graduated with my master’s degree, I started writing my novel and since I was writing about soldiers and government agents I needed to interview some about their personal experiences. So, I decided to come down to the VA. I met with Sam, who had just started working here, and asked if I could interview some people for my writing. He agreed, and I spent the whole day just talking to the vets. All sorts of vets, too; men, women, old, young, you name it. And at the end of the day, after hearing about their struggles with PTSD and how hard their lives became once they returned to civilian life, I went back to Sam and asked if he needed any part-time employees. He said yes, and we’ve been best friends ever since.” Steve smiled, and the impressed look he was giving her caused her to blush so she hurriedly changed the subject. “So, did everything work out earlier? It’s just that it seemed a little serious, so I hope that everything’s okay.”

Steve’s smile fell a little but he nodded. “Yeah, everything’s fine…I was just visiting a friend who hasn’t been doing too well lately.”

(Y/N) impulsively placed a comforting hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, that sounds difficult. I hope they get better soon.” The ghost of a sympathetic smile pulled at the corner of her mouth and Steve’s eyes softened after a moment; realizing that her hand was still resting on his arm, she hastily withdrew it and began folding the tablecloth to keep her hands busy. “Um, Sam and I were planning on going out to dinner after we finish packing up, you’re welcome to join us if you want.”

She glanced up at him and saw a glint of something in his eyes, but it disappeared before she could get a closer look. “Thanks for the offer but I’ll have to pass; I’ve already got some plans later…”

“That’s okay, maybe next time!” (Y/N) smiled, but inside she couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment.

Just then, Sam walked into the room with a stack of pamphlets in his hands. “Pretty good turnout today, huh? Five new faces and Captain America!”

Steve chuckled. “Well, I’m glad that I stopped by.” He glanced at the clock on the wall before continuing, “I should probably get going, but it was good to see you two again.”

(Y/N) shook his hand. “I’m not gonna lie, it was a little weird seeing you in your own exhibit earlier but it was great hanging out with you!”

“You too, and good luck with For Queen and Country, I’ll keep my eye out for it in the bookshops.” His bright smile caused her heartbeat to once-again quicken as their hands dropped.

“It was good seeing you too, Cap, you made me look really awesome in front of Maria, so thanks for that.” Sam grinned and shook his outstretched hand.

“Glad I could help, Sam; see you two around!” Steve gave them a small wave before turning and walking out of the room.

Tearing her eyes away from the doorway, (Y/N) resumed her cleaning and glanced at Sam. “What do you feel like tonight, Thai or burgers?”

Sam grinned and began unplugging the coffee maker. “Burgers. So, did you have a nice day chilling with your new boyfriend, Booksmart?”

“Sam…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening, (Y/N) sat down at her desk and put her music on shuffle before flicking through her notebook to the pages of notes she’d taken that day at the Smithsonian. She bit back a smile when she recognized the difference between the carefully printed notes she’d taken by herself versus the illegible scribbles taken from the elderly security guard’s long-winded explanations. He was kind of a fast talker, wasn’t he, she thought to herself; as a way of honoring the enthusiastic old man, she ultimately decided to name one of her minor characters after him.

“Stan.” She sounded out the name and gave a satisfied nod. “Yeah, that’s got a nice ring to it…”

(Y/N), now finally having all the information she needed to best describe Soviet Cold War missiles, wrote for nearly three hours straight, only taking breaks to skip songs or to glance down at her notes. She would’ve probably continued writing well into the next morning except that her eyesight was beginning to blur around the edges, an unfortunate symptom of exhaustion.

Well, you have had a pretty busy day today, (Y/N) silently reasoned as she saved her evening’s progress and booted down her laptop. Since Sam was already fast asleep in the room across the hall, she went about her bedtime routine as quietly as she could, washing her face and brushing her teeth before tiptoeing back into her room. She slipped on her mismatched pajama set and was about to crawl into bed when the record player on her bedside table caught her eye. Making her way over to what Sam affectionately called ‘The DJ Bookcase,’ she scanned the shelf devoted solely to her record collection until the right one stood out to her, and then she carefully placed the record on the turntable and lowered the needle. After a moment, the soft tones of Glenn Miller’s ‘Stardust’ filled her room and with a smile, she finally got into bed and turned to watch the record spinning on the turntable.

Thoughts of the super-soldier who’d inspired her choice in bedtime music began to fill her mind, making her smile softly to herself. (Y/N) had enjoyed seeing Steve again, even if it had been in a highly unconventional place like the Smithsonian, and she quietly marveled at how effortless it had been to talk to the larger-than-life man. He really was different from how the history books portrayed him: not only was he kind and polite, but he was also intelligent, sarcastic and extremely understanding. Also a little lost, I expect, (Y/N) thought, remembering his guarded expressions and withdrawn replies whenever she’d ask him a personal question; it couldn’t be easy adjusting to a brand-new reality, especially without a fixed support system to rely on.

“Hopefully he ends up getting the help he needs.” (Y/N) murmured to herself, her sleepy eyes continuing to watch the rotating record as more thoughts of Steve Rogers filled her mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you all liked my little Stan Lee cameo in this chapter and the last :) I’ve created a Spotify playlist inspired by this series, and I’ll be updating it every time I upload a new chapter. Enjoy!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4BenknAqQQnOWY8NmSa23V

Tagging: @mrs-obrien​ @lahoete​ @awkward117​ @cminr​ @momc95​ @awkwardnesshabitat​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @khuang3​ @supersouthy​ @benakenalove​ @brooke0297​ @hufflepeople​ @becausewelie​​ @outoftheregular @supreme-tantrum​

Chapter Four

“The Winter Soldier” Masterlist

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter three

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca sees her again in the most unexpected place.

rated: E for drug use and sex scenes

AO3 LINK

*

“Bec?” 

Beca hummed absentmindedly, blinking out of her daze and twisting her head in the direction of the voice. 

Sarah smiled gently as she leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen. She cocked an eyebrow, giving a pointed look towards the sink. “I think the pan is clean.” 

Beca glanced down, stilling her movements. She had been scrubbing that pan for probably ten minutes now, her thoughts completely consumed by Chloe and what she was supposed to do next. 

Chloe clearly didn’t want to see her, and Beca wasn’t going to wait by the phone when it was clear that Chloe was far from okay. She was thinner than Beca remembered, and the look in her eye, the lack of light in those once bright blues, chilled Beca to the bone. 

She looked… broken. As though her spirit had repeatedly been battered until all that was left were mere pieces of her old self. 

If there were any left at all.

Beca couldn’t stand the thought of not doing anything, and she needed to come up with a plan to help Chloe without driving her into a corner and risk losing her forever. 

“What’s going on?” Sarah questioned, pushing off the doorframe and padding over. She rested her hand between Beca’s shoulder blades, her eyebrows knitted together in concern. “You’ve seemed off today.” 

Beca released a sigh, setting the pan down into the sink and reaching for the dishtowel laying next to her on the counter to dry her hands. “I’m sorry, I’m just… worried about a friend.” 

Sarah nodded slowly. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Sarah was unexpected, to say the least. Beca was a workaholic, and her career was too time-consuming for her to get into the whole dating thing. But Sarah, who happened to work as a barista in Beca’s favorite independent coffee shop, had somehow managed to convince Beca to go out with her. One dinner surprisingly turned into a second date, then a third, and it just like that, it had been almost a year since they officially got together. 

Sarah was gentle, patient, understanding, overflowing with positivity, but most of all, incredibly kind. She reminded Beca of Chloe, sometimes. And maybe it was those similar personality traits that drew Beca to her in the first place. 

They didn’t live together. Beca could feel that it was the next expected step on her girlfriend’s end, but she didn’t feel ready to commit, yet. She liked her own space, her solitude. So Sarah spent a few nights a week at Beca’s place, like tonight, and Beca was fine with that. 

“Not really,” she replied, casting Sarah an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, it’s just-- complicated right now.” 

“You need to stop apologizing,” Sarah murmured, her expression soft and loving. Beca let her shoulders sag, ready to apologize again. “I understand. But if you do change your mind and need to let something off your chest, I’m here.” 

Beca nodded. “Thanks.” 

“Are you coming to bed?” 

“Not yet, I wanna get some work done, first.” She leaned in to peck Sarah’s lips. “You go ahead, I’ll join you soon.” 

Walking across the living room and past the huge floor to ceiling windows looking over Central Park, Beca made her way to her home office, her happy place. She had bought the Manhattan condo two years ago, making it a requirement during her house-hunt to have a large room with plenty of light and enough space to store all her records and her music equipment. It was also where she kept her Grammys and other prizes, away from the attention as nobody really stepped into her office.

She usually popped a blues album on the record player, enjoying the soothing instrumentals while she replied to various emails, but not tonight. Tonight, she grabbed a yellow legal notepad and her headphones from her desk and curled up on the leather couch tucked in the far corner, then scrolled to her Spotify playlists until she found the one she was looking for. 

she is magic

Beca couldn’t remember the last time she had listened to her Chloe playlist, one she had made back in Barden when she was hopelessly in love with her best friend. They were songs that reminded her of Chloe, or songs that Chloe liked. Or used to like, at least. 

As lyrics she knew so well poured into her headphones, blocking out the rest of the world, different ones flowed out of Beca’s heart, materializing on the paper in front of her in black ink as she scribbled across the page. Lyrics about friendship, unrequited love, and regrets for listening to her brain and not her heart all these years ago. 

It was pushing on two am by the time Beca called it a night. Her eyes burned, her mind felt mushy, but her soul felt a tiny bit lighter. Music had always been her therapy, and writing songs had always proved more efficient than paying a licensed professional, even though it had been years since Beca had last finished one, for lack of inspiration. 

Or rather, because of the absence of her muse. 

*

She woke up five hours later to a stiff neck and sore back, the bright sunlight pouring in from the windows lining one of her office walls drawing her from her sleep. She had meant to go to bed, before deciding to close her eyes for five minutes right on the couch. 

Straightening with a groan, she grabbed her phone and turned it over, hoping to see a text from an unknown number on her screen. 

Aubrey Posen [6:23am]

Any news? 

Aubrey Posen [6:37am]

Should I come to New York? 

Aubrey practiced family law up in Boston. She and Beca saw each other a few times a year, whenever Aubrey was in the city. Bella reunions were a bit more scarce now, with the girls being scattered all around the country. Their last one dated back to a year and a half ago, on the Fourth of July. 

Beca ran a hand over her face and heaved out a sigh, swiping her thumb across the screen to unlock it. 

Beca [7:16am]

No news yet. I think I’m gonna wait a few days before I head back to the club, if she doesn’t call in the meantime that is. The manager gave me serious sleazy vibes and I’m sure he could blacklist me if I’m too insistent. I don’t think there’s any need for you to come down for now. I’ll keep you posted. 

Hitting send, Beca pushed to her feet and shuffled out of her office, hanging a left down the hall towards the kitchen. A note next to her coffee thermos sat on the island. 

Missed you last night, but I hope you got whatever you needed done. I had to leave for my shift, you’re welcome to swing by for your second coffee of the day and your morning kiss ;) have a good day!

Sarah xx

Guilt swooped in over picking old feelings about an ex-almost over her girlfriend, and Beca let her head hang forward, releasing a grown. She was far from an expert at this relationship thing, but she cared about Sarah a lot and didn’t want to mess that up. 

Beca shook off the sleepiness lingering in her bones and the stiffness in her muscles with a long, hot shower, then got ready for her day. She usually got to the office at 8 sharp, but it was already 7:54 by the time she was out the door, and her commute lasted about twenty minutes, so she wouldn’t get the chance to stop by Sarah’s workplace. 

To: Sarah 

I’m sorry, I got caught up in work last night and ended up falling asleep on the couch around 2. Come over tonight? I’ll cook dinner. Have a good shift.

Her morning was spent in the studio canning vocals for girl in red’s new album, a project Beca was stocked about as she was BMLJ’s most promising artist for this year’s Grammy Awards. 

“That was awesome, Marie,” Beca spoke into the microphone, giving her a thumbs-up through the glass. “Let’s take a lunch break and resume in an hour?” 

“Sounds good,” the younger woman agreed with a smile as she took off her headphones. 

Beca headed back to her office down the hall and checked her phone for any new messages (finding none important), before shrugging on her thick winter coat and screwing her beanie over her head. 

“I’ll be back in an hour, Gina!” She told her assistant on route to the elevator. 

As Sarah’s workplace was just five blocks south from the label, Beca figured she would eat lunch there as she wasn’t able to stop by that morning. She stopped in the convenience store across the street from the coffee shop to buy Sarah her favorite magazine as she knew her break was coming up soon and she’d have something to read. 

Beca was scanning the press stand for that specific magazine, not paying attention to the person walking into the store until they spoke. 

“A pack of Marlboro, please.” 

Beca would recognize that voice anywhere. Her head snapped up so fast she felt something in her neck pull, and she was rounding the stand before she even registered giving her feet the order to move. “Chloe?” 

Chloe glanced over to her right and froze for a second, before fishing for a twenty in her jacket pocket and handing it to the cashier. “Are you following me or something?” 

Given their last encounter, Beca wasn’t surprised by Chloe’s snark, so she gave as good as she got. “You came in after I did, so maybe I should ask you that question.” 

Chloe stuffed the cigarette pack and the change into her pocket. “What do you want, Beca?” 

“To talk,” she replied, softly. “One coffee, that’s it. And if you decide you really don’t want me in your life, then I won’t bother you again. I promise.” 

Chloe seemed to ponder on that for a few beats. “One coffee.” 

“There’s a shop right across the street.” 

Taking her to the place her girlfriend worked at? Probably not the brightest idea, but she was afraid Chloe might go back on her decision if they spent too long finding someplace else. 

When Chloe nodded, Beca took the lead and stepped outside, forgetting all about that magazine as she racked her brain about what she should say. Tactfulness wasn’t her greatest suit; Aubrey would be so much better at this. 

They stepped inside Devocion and Beca picked a table in the corner, shrugging off her coat and draping it over the back of her chair. Chloe kept her jacket and beanie on, a bit hunched on herself as she sat down in the chair opposite Beca’s. 

���Beca?” 

Beca glanced towards Sarah as she approached, wearing a waist apron with the café logo on it. Her dark blonde hair was woven back in a French braid, a few strands escaping, and curiosity swirled in her green eyes as they flickered to Chloe. 

Okay, in hindsight, bringing Chloe here was a terrible idea. 

“Hey, um, Sarah, this is Chloe, a friend from college.” She cleared her throat. “Chloe, this is my girlfriend, Sarah.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Sarah replied brightly, her smile fading a little when all Chloe offered was a distant nod. Sarah met Beca’s gaze briefly, clearing her throat. “What can I get you guys?” 

“My usual. You want anything to eat, Chlo?” 

The nickname rolled off her tongue so naturally, Beca didn’t even catch it. 

Chloe shook her head. “Just a black coffee.” 

“Coming right up.” 

“Thanks,” Beca said as Sarah spun around on her heels, her focus shifting to Chloe. “So um, I wanted to apologize for the other day and putting you on the spot at the club. I just… wasn’t sure how else to talk to you.” 

“I can give you some of the money back if you need it.” 

Beca furrowed her brow, not having expected that. “No, no. I… it’s fine. I don’t care about money.” 

Something flashed in Chloe’s eyes at that, something Beca couldn’t quite pinpoint. 

Sarah came back with two coffees before she could analyze it further, setting the mugs down on the table. “Your club sandwich will be here in a few, babe.” 

Beca nodded, casting her a small, appreciative smile. 

Chloe straightened a bit in her seat, cradling the mug with both hands. “I’m not sure what you expect me to say or do, Beca.” 

Beca licked her lips. “I was hoping we could… hang out from time to time. I’ve missed you, Chlo. So has Aubrey.” 

The mention of Aubrey made Chloe lookup. “Does she live in New York, too?” 

“Um no, in Boston. She’s a lawyer. But she’d come down to have coffee, or lunch, or whatever you feel like doing. In a heartbeat.” 

Chloe shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

What little hope flared in the pit of Beca’s belly upon Chloe showing interest in Aubrey’s life vanished. “Why not?” 

“I told you. I’m not the same person anymore. I’m-- I’m not…” 

Beca tilted her head to the side. “You’re not what?” She pressed gently. 

Chloe’s gaze fleeted out the window as her rather calm demeanor now radiated agitation. Her knee started bouncing and her fingers tightened around the mug, and it was as though Chloe was battling against her own thoughts. 

She was itching to reach across the table to rest her hand over her wrist in a sort of grounding gesture, but something told her that would have the opposite effect. 

“Chloe?” Beca attempted once more, her voice as soft as she could muster, as it seemed like Chloe was on the brink of bolting. 

The tear slipping out of Chloe’s eye tore her heart into two. “I-I have to go.” 

Her chair screeched as she pushed it back roughly, and she was nearly out the door by the time Beca scrambled to her feet. 

It was lunch-hour rush in one of the busiest avenues in Manhattan, and Chloe had already disappeared in the crowd when she reached the exit, leaving Beca to helplessly wonder how someone like Chloe, once the epitome of sunshine, got herself trapped in so much darkness.

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander | Chapter 19

A/N:  IT’S VALENTINE’S DAY BITCHES!!!!!

February 14th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was packing her tote bag.  

Thankfully, the team had Valentine’s Day off.  Over the past few weeks she’d heard the guys talking about their plans with their wives or girlfriends.  John and Aryne were getting John’s parents to watch Jace while they went for dinner in Yorkville.  Morgan was bringing Bee to Alo for dinner, in his crutches and all – he wasn’t letting his injury stop him.  Jason was going to buy his girls each a bouquet of flowers and have a special night in with them and Jennifer.  It all sounded very sweet, and she was happy that, after missing New Year’s with their families, they were at least able to have Valentine’s Day together.  

Evan was coming over tonight and Kasha was cooking him a romantic dinner, so Aberdeen had decided she was going to camp out at her local Starbucks with her laptop and notebooks and work on her writing.  It was when she was almost finished packing her tote bag did a text come through on her phone. 

can u be ready in 15 mins?

Between William and Brendan, she’d just about had it with hockey players telling her to get ready in an absurdly short amount of time.

Why?

did u really think we wouldn’t celebrate valentines minskatt?

She almost dropped her phone on the floor.  She had no clue what he was thinking.  Clearly he wasn’t.

I don’t know what the custom in Sweden is, but usually you tell a girl if you’re going out on Valentine’s Day so she can look pretty

what’s the fun in that when i can surprise u with something plus u always look pretty its impossible for u not to

What if I already made plans?

Less than ten seconds later, her phone began ringing.  She snorted before she picked up.  “Hi.”

“You don’t really have plans, do you?” he asked, worry in his voice.

She looked at her notebook sitting on her bed, the one she was supposed to have packed into her tote bag before leaving for Starbucks.  Where she should be drinking coffee and writing.  Exactly like the stereotype.  “Evan’s coming over.  I was supposed to go to Starbucks and write,” she informed him.

William knew how seriously Aberdeen took her writing ever since she’d read a lot of it to him during their days alone during the All-Star Break, so he was genuinely worried.  “Do you think you can spare a few hours for a Valentine’s Day date?  I’m like two minutes from your place,” he said.  “But, uh, no pressure.  I mean if you want to write, you can go write.”

Aberdeen smiled, though she couldn’t see him.  His anxiety was a bit cute, she had to admit.  This was the first time in her life, she thought, that she made a boy nervous.  The last time she’d tried to use writing as an excuse not to go out, Zane got annoyed and pouty and forced her out to his friend’s birthday party where she had the worst time.  “I’ll meet you downstairs,” she said quickly before hanging up.

By the time the elevator took her down to the lobby, she saw William’s Volvo already waiting for her in front of the lobby doors.  She slipped into the passenger’s seat quickly, closing the door and immediately noticing how already hot and cozy it was in the car.  She looked over to William.  “Hi,” she smiled shyly.

“Hi minskatt,” he smiled too, a soft, confident smile on his face.  “You look beautiful.”

“Stop trying to butter me up.”

He leaned over the centre console and placed a kiss on her lips.  It was supposed to be chaste – supposed to be – but he should have known better, because once his lips were on hers it was endgame for him, and he kept kissing her and deepening the kiss for as long as she’d let him.  When she pulled away, she was smiling.  “Where are we going?” she asked.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Willy.”

He reached over and grabbed her hand, pulling it over to his lap.  “You’ll see, minskatt.”

Aberdeen digressed.  He put his car into drive and turned the corner to rejoin Adelaide Street.  He grabbed his phone carefully from the cupholder and handed it to her.  “Want to play some music?” he asked.  

Aberdeen arched her brow.  She took the phone from his hands and began scrolling through his Spotify.  During the All-Star Break, she’d added more songs to his “Minskatt” playlist, and they’d listened it as they sat around the apartment, or cooked, or did whatever it was they did for those three days – which was basically just eat and have sex.  She noticed a couple of songs had been added by him since then, too: ‘Ageless Beauty’ by Stars, ‘Cold Feet’ by Loud Luxury, ‘Honest’ by The Band CAMINO.  They all suited her and her taste in music so well.

But she had ulterior motives.

William waited patiently for a song to begin as he drove through the streets.  Every time he glanced over at Aberdeen, he saw her smirk getting bigger and bigger.  “What are you up to over there?” he asked.  “Are you destroying the playlist again?”

Aberdeen giggled and tapped the screen dramatically.  She waited.

When the opening notes of ‘Passionfruit’ began to play, William’s jaw dropped dramatically as Aberdeen burst into a fit of laughter at his reaction.  “What the hell is this?!” he demanded playfully.  “You roast me about my choice and now you play it?!”

“I never said it was a bad song,” she said through giggles.

“You are something else,” he said, pausing dramatically between the two words as he reached over and tried to pinch her on her thigh playfully.  She yelped but continued to laugh, grabbing his hand and holding it hers, like she was holding a baby bird.  “No extra meatball for you.”

Her eyes lit up at the mention of a meatball.  “Sugo meatballs?”

“No,” he shook his head, bringing his car to a stop at the red light.  He looked over at her.  “San Remo Bakery meatballs.”

She gasped dramatically.  “Willy, we’re going to San Remo?”

“Mhm,” he nodded his head.  The famous bakery in Etobicoke clearly had her heart, and he knew it would.  It was the first thing he thought of when he was planning tonight.  “You’re gonna get us whatever’s good and we’re gonna eat.”

Aberdeen wiggled excitedly in her seat.  She controlled the playlist and songs as William made his way to Etobicoke the long way – aka, not taking the highway.  He was perfectly content with taking King Street and The Queensway the entire way there while maintaining easy, fun, and interesting conversation with Aberdeen, who was suddenly full of stories of other Etobicoke establishments she’d haunt during her high school days.  She told stories of she and her friends packing themselves into a car to drive to San Remo Bakery in grade 12, making it back just in time for their afternoon class but smelling like freshly baked bread in the process.  She told stories of running through the streets of The Kingsway neighbourhood throughout university when she would go on jogs to clear her head.  She told stories of hiking along the Humber Marshes with her dad and traditional afternoon tea at the Old Mill with her mom and taking the subway back home to Royal York station after nights out with her friends in university.  She’d memorized the train schedule and knew that the last train going westbound left at 1:52am.  For all that she went out, she’d only ended up taking a taxi back home three times.

After every story, William would kiss her hand.  

When they were on Royal York Road, Aberdeen became silent as she looked at all the storefronts on the way to the bakery.  The sun was just starting to set, and even though it was the dead of winter in Canada, the night was clear and crisp, the sky starting to light up a mixed shade of orange and pink.  She looked over at William, his eyes illuminated by the setting sun.  For all her thinking half the time that he was so perfect she didn’t think he was real, she was reminded of his status by the beanie he was wearing on top of his head, the Maple Leafs logo glaring back at her.  

He pulled the car over to the curb right in front of the bakery.  Aberdeen could see inside, and it was pretty busy – like it usually was.  She looked at him again.  “Do you get recognized a lot when you’re out and about in the city?” she asked.

William shrugged.  “Enough.”

She looked between him and the busy bakery again, biting her lip.  “Then how about I go in and bring the food back,” she said sheepishly.  “That way it’s not…I mean we’re not seen toget—”

“I understand, Aberdeen.  It’s okay,” he said, kissing her hand.  

“I’m sorry we can’t, like, eat it inside or whatever,” she said sheepishly, knowing that it was because of her anxieties about being caught that they couldn’t be seen in public together.  Sometimes she wondered if he had the same, although she doubted it.  He was an extremely private person and didn’t let the media know about one iota of his life or who he really was as a person, but he was so carefree with her that she wondered if he let his guard down because his love for her blinded him or something.  

“Hey…” he said, leaning over the centre console again so he could give her a soft kiss.  “It’s fine.  I’m just happy to be spending the night with you.  Now go.”

Aberdeen came back with a feast.  A giant slice of lasagna (for him), gnocchi in a rosé sauce (for her, her absolute favourite), and two sfoglio cannolis.  When she got back in the car, bag filled to the brim, William was smiling.  The smell of all the food instantly filled the car and he almost melted right then and there.  “God, that smells fucking incredible,” he said.  “Alright, next stop.”

“What’s the next stop?”

“You’ll see.”

Aberdeen rolled her eyes again.  She didn’t have to wait long, though, because within minutes – seriously, the food was still steaming – they’d arrived at Prince of Wales Park, a small park on the edge of the lake with an amazing and underrated lookout towards the Toronto skyline.  The park was empty, with it being the middle of winter, and so was the small parking lot.  William parked right at the end, facing the skyline as the sun set over the city.  

Aberdeen and William looked at each other at the same time once he put his car in park, turning off the engine but leaving the heating on.  “You were planning to eat in the car anyway, weren’t you?” she asked.  

“Maybe,” he smiled mischievously.  

She took out the food.  William audibly moaned as he took his first bite of lasagna.  Aberdeen lay her back against the door as she forked some gnocchi into her mouth, sighing at the taste.  Between mouthfuls of gnocchi and lasagna and feeding each other little bits to taste, William began to speak, unprompted, just like she had on the way to the bakery.  He spoke about growing up with his big family in Sweden and the United States, going back and forth every year.  He spoke about skating on rollerblades in his backyard and hitting the corner of a barbecue while his dad chased him and needing three stitches.  He spoke about his mom cooking traditional Swedish dishes and his dad being the master of pickled herring.  He spoke about hockey and being drafted and moving to Toronto at eighteen.  He spoke about having to leave his friends in Sweden but being able to see them every summer.  He spoke about how much she would love Sweden, how he wanted to bring her there, how he wanted to show her their family place in Stockholm but also their secluded country house. 

After every subject change, she’d lean in and kiss him, and he’d taste like lasagna and she’d taste like gnocchi and it was all just perfect.  

When they finished the food, and had washed everything down with some water and put the empty containers back in the bag that Aberdeen tied up and placed at her feet, she looked at William once more.  Although everything was sweet, and perfect, and lovely, and everything she would have wanted out of a Valentine’s Day date, the fact of the matter was they’d just had dinner in a car.  Alone.  Because they couldn’t spend it in a restaurant together.  Because they were together, but they couldn’t be together – out in the open, at least.

“Hey Willy?” her voice was sheepish, her mouth speaking before her brain could tell her not to.

“Minskatt?”

“You uh, you know how we’re keeping all this a secret?  Like nobody on the team knows we slept together last June, and nobody in the world knows we’re sleeping together now, and the guys on the team think it’s all like…I don’t know, like you having a harmless crush on me or whatever?” she rambled.

“Yes…” William was unsure of where she was going with this.  

“So, um…what are we, then?”

He stayed quiet for a moment.  “What do you want to be?” he asked.  

“Nuh-uh.  I’m not making the executive decision here,” she shook her head.  “Either we make a decision together or that’s it.  We need to define what this is because right now we’re in this weird friends-with-benefits stage even though we’ve already said I love you—”

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” he blurted out, interrupting her.  “I thought…I mean, I’ve wanted you to be my girlfriend since the elevator.  I thought you knew that.”

She had a hunch, but she needed it confirmed by him out loud so she knew her mind wasn’t playing games with her.  “So…so we’re going to do this, then?” she asked timidly.

“Do you want to do this?” he asked, making sure.  “Because you already know my answer.  I think you’ve known it this whole time, you just hesitate to accept it because your judgement is clouded by the fact that we have to sneak around to love one another and be together.”

For Aberdeen, the answer was easy.  It was wrong, and it was immoral, and it was a blatant disregard of the rules she needed to follow professionally and the rules she should be following societally, but it was easy.  “Yes.  I want to do this.  You’re my boyfriend.”

“Then you’re my girlfriend,” William smiled.

“We have a bit of a problem though.”

“Besides the fact that this is against every company policy known to mankind and completely inappropriate?” he asked.  It made Aberdeen giggle.  “What’s the other problem?”

“Valentine’s Day can’t be our anniversary.  It’s too corny.”

William giggled.  He grabbed her hand and kissed it before he held it in his lap, his thumb gliding over her backhand tenderly.  “When’s our anniversary then, minskatt?”

Aberdeen thought for a few moments before she came to a conclusion.  “January 9th.”

William knew the exact date she was talking about and knew why she would choose that date to be their anniversary.  “Alright then.  January 9th it is.”

Aberdeen smiled, leaning back into the door, satisfied.  They had an anniversary.  They were official.  They were on the same page, regardless of whether or not they liked that page – that page being not being able to share their relationship with anyone or anything.    It wasn’t the best page.  But they both knew there were better pages ahead.  

A secret only they knew.

“What’re you thinking about?” William asked softly.  

“You,” she replied.  He smiled.  “C’mere,” she beckoned.  

“Come where?”

She abruptly opened the door, slipping out of the passenger seat and instead moving to the backseat.  William watched as she did so, slipping out himself when he realized what she was doing.  Once they found each other in the backseat, Aberdeen climbed on top of him and straddled his lap.  “You’re being very bold, minskatt,” William smiled.  

“Count your blessings,” she winked before leaning in and crashing her lips against his.  He reciprocated readily, however ‘shocked’ he was by her bold actions.  He was just as hungry for her as she was for him, and his actions showed that: his hands wandering along her thighs, grabbing at her waist; his tongue down her throat, biting her bottom lip.  They kissed so much their lips were red and swollen; kissed so much they were fogging up the windows.

Layers.  There were too many layers of clothing.  It was winter, so they both knew there would be, but it made things annoying.  They’d taken their jackets off long ago – William had his off when Aberdeen got in the car, and she’d taken hers off soon after, not bothering to put it back on when she ran in and out of San Remo Bakery – but now there was William t-shirt and hoodie to worry about, and Aberdeen’s sweater, and…

Aberdeen felt William’s hands go underneath her sweater and shivered.

“You alright, minskatt?” William asked as he felt her body shake at his touch.  

Aberdeen nodded.  She began kissing him again, grinding her hips against his lap, causing him to groan.  His hands kept traveling higher and higher against her bare skin until he reached her bra.  Aberdeen helped take off her sweater.  William took his off, too.  She could feel how hard she was getting as she grinded more in his lap, pressing her bare skin onto his and feeling his body heat.  Eventually, he pushed her bra straps down, kissing his way down to her breasts before taking a nipple on his mouth.  Aberdeen threw her head back.  “Willy…” she sighed out, the feeling of his tongue flicking against her nipple making her shiver again.  He switched to the other breast.  “Oh, Willy…” she began to pant harder.

She dropped her hands in between them.  

As Aberdeen stuck her hand down his pants, William stopped.  “Ab—Aberdeen—”

“Willy please tell me you have a condom somewhere.”

He huffed, looking nervous.  “I d…I don’t think I do—”

“What?”

“I wasn’t expecting this, minskatt.  I swear.”  Okay, so they couldn’t have sex.  But they could still have fun, she thought immediately, because there was no way she was going to stop now.  She was too far gone.  “If you want to stop I underst—”

“We are not stopping,” Aberdeen said firmly.  “I’m—I—help me pull your pants down.”

She started on her own, eagerly, but William helped.  She saw how hard his member was and grabbed it.  She noticed William’s sharp intake of breath.  She began to stroke him, looking him straight in the eye.  “D’you like that?”

William nodded.  He pulled her pants down, too, and moved her underwear to the side.  “I want to make you feel good,” he whispered.

“You always do,” she smiled.

He smiled back at her.  He began teasing her core before slipping one finger into her.  She gasped in pleasure, biting her lip as she moved her hips slowly.  “That’s good?” William asked quickly, only for Aberdeen to nod her head just as quickly, letting out a sigh.  She tried to steady her breathing as William’s finger began moving in and out of her slowly, curling every so often.  For her part, she kept jerking him off too, his grunts her fuel.

“D’you like when I touch you like this?” she asked, mumbling against his lips, biting down on the bottom one.  

He kissed her in response, sloppy and wet to let her know what he thought.  He used his thumb to start rubbing circles against her hot core, and the sound of her mewling out his name over and over again was driving him absolutely insane.  “More,” she whimpered.  “More, Willy.  One more.”

William slipped another finger into her easily and curled them both.  “Oooooh, fuck,” Aberdeen sighed out, along with every other swear word in the book.  She quickened her strokes of his cock and he grunted again, bucking his hips slightly.  They kissed for a while longer, both their hands working magic on the other, until she felt him buck his hips again.  “Are y’close, Willy?”  He nodded, unable to form words.  “D’you wanna cum in my mouth?”

Willy’s eyes bulged out dramatically.  “You’ve gotta cum first.”

“Willy—”

“You don’t hav—you’ve gotta cum first,” he repeated more definitively, curling his fingers in her again, making her cry out.  

“Don’t stop, then,” she bit her lip.  “I’m so close.”

William leaned forward to kiss Aberdeen, and with a few more curls of his fingers and circles of his thumb, she began writhing and shaking on top of him, moaning his name over and over and over again as she rode out her orgasm for as long as she could.  She buried her head in the crook of his neck as she came down from her orgasm, feeling his fingers slip out of her.  She watched as he brought them up to his mouth and sucked.  She was surprised he’d do something that bold, but then again, he had just fingered her in the backseat of his car after she’d initiated the entire rendezvous.  “Fuck, Willy.”

“Felt good?” he asked quickly.

“Felt fucking amazing,” she responded, trying to suppress her giggle.  With her hand still miraculously on his cock, she continued stroking, slowly at first.  “You ok?”

He nodded his head.  “You look so fucking sexy,” he mumbled, referring to how her bra was still pushed down and the red flush that had taken over her body after her orgasm.  It was his favourite sight to see.  “I love it when I hear you moan my name.  I…fuck Aberdeen.”

“I love how good you are with your hands,” she smiled mischievously.  

“I love how good you are with yours,” he giggled, sighing slightly as her thumb grazed over the tip of his cock.  They kissed for a while as she continued to stroke him.  “God, you’re so fucking good.  I’m not gonna last much longer.”

“D’you want to cum in my mouth?” she asked again.

There was no backing out of the question now, but William didn’t know how to respond.  Of course it would have been nice, but there was so much to consider.  “You don’t have to.  It’s okay.”

“But Willy—”

“—I haven’t even eaten you out yet and I don’t think it’s fair—”

“—But I want to, Willy,” she said, eyes wide and staring at him with a mix of fake innocence and real determination.  “I want to.”

He didn’t say another word.  Aberdeen kissed him a few more times before she shifted her position and took him in her mouth, sucking the tip of his cock.  William leaned his head back and watched through hooded eyes as she continued to stroke and suck, leaving him utterly speechless.  It was only when Aberdeen started to go deeper that he could feel his release coming, and he suddenly found his voice again.  “Aberdeen—” he tried to get out, but couldn’t.  She looked up at him with big eyes and he was ready to die right there.  “Aberdeen, I—”

“Cum in my mouth Willy.”

With one last stroke and a buck of his hips, Aberdeen felt his hot cum in her throat.  William moaned and repeated her name over and over, much like she’d done before, and tried to keep his eyes on her as she took every last bit of him.  His jaw was practically on the floor as he looked down at her, and she up at him, until he couldn’t take it anymore.  “C’mere,” dragged her up, planting a messy, wet kiss on her lips as they moaned together, William wrapping his arms around her protectively as he could feel his cock soften.  

They kissed for what felt like hours again, kiss after kiss after kiss, until their pace slowed down and their breaths returned to normal and they realized what they’d just done, what they’d just participated in together, willingly, in a car sitting in an empty parking lot of a park overlooking the Toronto skyline.  In about twelve hours, they’d be on a plane together en route to Ottawa, solely work acquaintances to everyone around them, keeping their secret close to their hearts.

“I love you, minskatt,” William mumbled, his head still a bit dizzy but his heart still full from what had just happened.  

“I love you too,” she responded, her chest rising and falling with her breath, her head equally as dizzy and her heart equally as full.

***

William couldn’t keep his eyes off of Aberdeen, now that they were back in the driver’s and passenger’s seat, on Islington Road heading north to get on the Gardiner Expressway.  She had a flush on her cheeks and a small smile on her face as she looked out the window.  The night was completely dark now, with only the streetlights illuminating the road for them until they got back into the city.  The playlist was playing in the background, but neither bothered to turn the volume up or change the song yet.

William drove slowly.  To have more time with her.

“Minskatt?” he asked softly as they were stopped at a red light.  Aberdeen turned her head to look at him.  “Being with you feels right,” he told her, his voice firm and with conviction.  

“Even though what we’re doing is wrong?” she asked.

William shook his head.  “That doesn’t matter.  I don’t care about the rules.”  He considered her words – how she admitted it was wrong – for a moment and got nervous.  “Does it feel wrong to you?”

“No,” she replied immediately shaking her head.  “Not at all.  But you have to understand that this…this is simultaneously the most wrong thing I’ve ever done, but also the most right.  I don’t know how to explain it.”

“I get it completely,” William said.  “But I don’t regret any of it.”

“I don’t either.”  Aberdeen surprised herself by saying those words out loud.  But they were true.  She didn’t.  She didn’t feel any regret.  “You…you know that right?”

William smiled softly.  He was very, very well aware how much she was sacrificing to do this – to be sneaking around with him – and he was very well aware of how, for her, everything hung by a thread.  Everything for her was on the line, everything, and she was willing to risk it all for him.  That was why he was so protective.  That was why he was so secretive.  That was why he tried his best to keep everything so low-key, to not have people catch on, and if they did, to not take it too seriously.  “I do.”

When she picked up his phone as he took the on-ramp onto the Gardiner Expressway, she chose another song, ‘In Your Eyes’ by the Weeknd.  William recognized the tempo immediately and smiled.  They moved along to the music, singing the lyrics together as they drove on the highway.  Aberdeen danced in her seat and William grooved from side to side as much as he could while still being alert and paying attention to the road.  Near the song’s end, Aberdeen grabbed his phone again and queued the next song.  

When the familiar chords began to play, the synth coming in and the beat loud and strong, William looked over to her and smiled.  “How did I know?” he asked.

“Did you expect anything less from me?” she asked rhetorically, giggling slightly.  

Midnight… You come and pick me up, no headlights… Long drive could end in burning flames or paradise…

Hearing her sing was one of the best things in the world to him.  Almost as good as hearing her talking about writing.  Almost as good as hearing her read her own writing.  There was such a lack of inhibitions in the way she sang and the way she moved, the way she didn’t care about facades or rules or appropriateness anymore, that made every lyric, ever hand motion, every movement and every head bop so endearing to him.  When she took out her phone and began recording the lights on the horizon, all the skyscrapers lit up in the crisp winter’s night air, he reached across the console and held her hand.  Hands that held the ring he got her on it.

Because he could now.  Without any reservation.  

And when Aberdeen smiled, all was right in the world.  

When they got back to her apartment, Aberdeen was reluctant to leave.  William had put the car in park but neither of them moved to say goodbye or do anything, really.  They were lucky that her street wasn’t a main street; that it was residential and tucked in behind two other, more major streets, so that they wouldn’t be honked at or bothered.  

“Have you packed for tomorrow yet?” Aberdeen asked, her voice quiet.

William shrugged.  “Just gotta choose a suit, really.  There’s nothing to it.  You?”

“Yeah,” she nodded her head.  “My suitcase is pretty much always ready to go nowadays.  I’m uh…Brendan actually gave me lunch time off so I can meet up with Siena.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  She’s even coming to the game.  Not in the press box or anything but she’ll be in a seat somewhere in the arena.  You might get to see her.”

William stayed silent for a few moments.  “Did you like tonight?” he asked.

Aberdeen smiled.  “Very much so.”

Some more moments of silence.  It wasn’t until William leaned over to give her a kiss that there was another sound.  “I love you, minskatt.”

She smiled into the kiss.  “I love you too, Willy,” she said, for what felt like the tenth time that night.  She put her hand on the door handle and pulled so the door would open.  She knew if she stayed any longer, they’d be there all night, either kissing or just sitting there in silence.  “Get home safe, okay?  Text me.”

He didn’t want her to leave, but he digressed because they both had an early wakeup time tomorrow.  He also knew that he’d be seeing her in a few hours again, anyway.  “I will, minskatt,” he gave her one last kiss before letting her go.

When Aberdeen walked into her condo building, it was like the concierge was waiting for her.  “Ms. Bloom?” he asked as she walked by the desk.

“That’s me…”

“This is for you,” he said, handing her a large manila envelope.  “Courtesy of your friend,” he nodded towards William, still waiting outside in his car until Aberdeen turned the corner to get to the elevator where he wouldn’t be able to see her.  

She furrowed her brows.  When…?  How…?  “Thanks…” she took it from him, thanking him politely before making her way towards the elevator.  Once she was in, she pressed her floor number and tore open the seal.

Inside, there was a valentine.  A poorly made and executed valentine, but a valentine nonetheless.  William had cut out a giant heart out of red construction paper.  He’d glued googly-eyes on it to make a face, glued pipe cleaners and cotton balls and stickers where necessary, and had even used glitter.  She laughed out loud – it honestly looked like a valentine made by one of her mom’s first graders.  When she noticed it was a card, she opened it up.  She saw, in William’s handwriting:

Jag tänker på dig när jag inte ens tanker

It was when she got to her bedroom that she punched in the words, with all their accents, carefully into Google Translate on her phone.  Again.  He was always making her translate things, although she highly doubted there would be a communication error this time around and think he was calling her ‘little shit’.  When the translation came up, her heart skipped a beat.

I think about you when I’m not even thinking.

[wesawbears]

My @geraskierholidayexchange gift for @keepcalmandexpectopatronum934. I hope you enjoy! This ended up being inspired by the movie Elf. Happy holidays!

--

In and out Jaskier, he told himself as he adjusted his new work uniform. This was just a temporary gig until he got back on his feet. Besides, it was performance experience, in a way. Perhaps not the kind he’d been expecting, but he’d learned long ago to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

Or a gift paycheck, as it were.

With a good luck jingle of his hat and a final tug on his elf ears to ensure they stayed in place, he headed inside to a Christmas wonderland.

More accurately, it was a mall toy store, but hey. Magic! Christmas spirit! Jaskier had never been fussy.

He looked around, glancing at the children milling about, exasperated parents trying to keep them from knocking everything off the shelves. Jaskier supposed he should be grateful, considering cleaning up their messes was now part of his job. Not seeing a manager around, he found the first employee he could see.

The man was tall, with snow white hair tucked up underneath an elf hat similar to Jaskier’s. He was hanging ornaments on a tree in the center of the store, likely ones that some of the running children had knocked over in their haste. He leaned down to pick up a stray ornament the man had missed, hoping to extend it as a token of goodwill toward his fellow employee. 

“I love the way you hang those ornaments. Truly an, uh, inspiring show of elfdom.”

The other man stared back at him like he was a space alien, which, okay, fair, that wasn’t one of Jaskier’s better introductions, but what was he supposed to say? 

“I’m working on this alone. Go away before Emhyr finds you and fires you.”

“Sorry. Just a bit turned around. I’m Jaskier.” He stuckout his hand, only to realize that his coworker had his hands full. 

“Geralt,” the other man said, not glancing away from the tree. 

“Nice to meet you! Do you happen to know where the manager might be then?”

As if on cue, another voice sounded behind him. “Geralt, those ornaments are supposed to be spaced apart at 3.8 in.”

“I can’t measure that in my head-”

“Figure it out.” the unfamiliar man turned to Jaskier. “You’re new. Follow me.”

Jaskier gave a last sympathetic glance back to Geralt, before following the manager to the back room.

Well, at least if he was working here for the season, he would have some eye candy while he did it.

--

It didn’t take long for Jaskier to learn Emhyr hated his fucking guts, and that he would undoubtedly be out of a job come January, but he didn’t mind too much. Being a hated employee ensured that he worked closing shift, which meant he got to work with Geralt. They’d fallen into somewhat of a routine over the last few weeks, cleaning while Jaskier changed the Christmas music to his carefully curated Spotify playlists, which Geralt steadfastly ignored. He’d learned that Geralt worked outdoors, so his job at the local nature preserve didn’t need him during the winter. He also knew that the only reason Emhyr hadn’t fired Geralt for his grumpy nature was that Geralt was Emhyr’s daughter Ciri’s godfather, in an arrangement far too complex for Jaskier to comprehend. In turn, he told Geralt about his performance aspirations, along with every other thought that came to his mind. Geralt didn’t say much, but he listened and made dry comments every so often and Jaskier was in love with him.

Jaskier had always fallen easily, it’s true, but that didn’t take away the flutter in his heart each time one of Geralt’s small smiles was sent his way, a wry laugh into a bottle of water as they waited for the time to switch to ten so they could lock up.

On one such night, the week before Christmas, Jaskier perched himself on the counter, watching Geralt finish cleaning the last of the displays. “Thank you, dearest. You know you’re so much better at organizing those than I am, and I’m pretty sure I’m one fuck up away from getting fired.”

Geralt snorted. “Emhyr won’t fire you. He still needs a warm body in the store and no one else will take night shift.”

“Except you. What is the deal with him anyway? He doesn’t seem the...toy store type. Seems more like a...retail baron to me.”

“He’s not. He’s a regional finance manager. They just couldn’t find anyone else to run the store this year. That’s why he’s being pissier than usual.”

“That...makes more sense. But he gets to see your smiling face, so, you know, a jolly time.”

Geralt huffed a laugh. “Yeah. He’s thrilled to see me. I’m sure my work ethic is what’s keeping him from spiking my eggnog at Christmas this year.”

“Has he...is that a legitimate worry?”

“No. At least, I don’t think so. Probably not.”

“That family dynamic will never make sense to me.”

Geralt sighed and leaned against the counter. “We make it work. For Ciri.”

“Is she excited for Christmas?”

“She is. Between here and spending time with her, I can’t get away from it.”

Jaskier frowned. “You don’t like Christmas?”

Geralt shrugged. “It just...wasn’t a big deal for me growing up.”

“That’s so sad!” Jaskier loved Christmas. Though he didn’t really spend time with his family anymore, he had fond memories of the annual Christmas party- the music, the desserts, the presents. Just the general feeling that all was right with the world.

“It’s fine. It’s just another day.”

“How are you making me even sadder?”

Geralt rolled his eyes. “Dramatic.”

“Of course,” Jaskier answered with a small flourish. “Geralt! I have an idea!”

“Careful. Wouldn’t want to hurt yourself.”

Jaskier huffed. “I’ll show you the magic of Christmas! I”ll be like...your Christmas elf! Your spirit advisor.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“You are so mean to me. I don’t know why I put up with you.”

Geralt shot him an incredulous look, but acquiesced. “What would...that...entail?”

“First rule of Christmas from your official spirit advisor: Christmas is about surprises.”

“I hate surprises.”

“That’s the spirit!”

--

They decided to hold their Christmas adventure two days later, since Emhyr had told them their services weren’t needed due to a school group volunteering to work as “Santa’s Elves” that day. They met up at the mall at 3, when they usually started work. Jaskier was decked (the halls) out in a very shiny Christmas sweater, while Geralt was in his finest funeral blacks. He had dressed warmly though, as requested, so Jaskier wasn’t going to complain too much.

“Ready, star pupil?”

“No. But I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“You do not.”

“Hmm.”

They headed out into the cold. The mall was just a short walk away from the rest of town, and Jaskier figured they could look at the lights on the way there. “My mom and sisters and I would always go walk around and try to pick our favorite lights every year. I thought we could try that. As an easy intro activity.”

Geralt glanced around, furrow in his brow. “They all look the same.”

“They do not! It’s like you’re not even trying.”

“Then show me what you see, spirit advisor.”

“Fine,” Jaskier huffed. “Those ones, over there. They look like icicles on the trees. I like them because they sparkle off the snow and from far away, they just...ooze Christmas.”

“Hmm.”

“But I also like the more colorful ones. You can’t tell me that seeing lights everywhere doesn’t leave you feeling the least bit festive?”

“They’re just...bright.”

“Fine, sir humbug. Be difficult.”

They made their way into town, Jaskier showing him different lights, and Geralt remaining unmoved. He felt it was truly a lot cause when Geralt made a noise next to him. “Those ones.”

“Which ones?”

“There. Next to the coffee shop.”

There was a small display, only the barest flash of lights that looked like holly and ivy. They were much more subdued than anything Jaskier picked out, but he couldn’t bring himself to dull Geralt’s small bit of enthusiasm. “They’re lovely. See, you’re getting the hang of it!”

“I’m also getting cold.”

“There’s just no pleasing you. Well, I suppose we could stop for a cup of hot chocolate.”

“Hmm.”

Jaskier led them inside, ordering a large hot chocolate for himself, while Geralt ordered a black coffee.

“Geralt! Come on, you have to get something at least a little Christmas-y.”

“Fine. One pump of peppermint.”

“Oh for the love of God.”

He allowed Geralt his approximation of holiday cheer and sat at one of the tables. He watched smugly as Geralt took a sip and held back a grimace at his concoction.

“How is it?”

“People put peppermint in coffee all the time. How do they like this?”

“Well, usually there’s also chocolate…”

“Too sweet.”

“Unfortunate,” Jaskier said, taking a large sip of his hot chocolate.

“Jaskier...I...appreciate you doing this for me, but I think I’m just not meant for-”

“For Christmas? For nice things?”

“It’s just not my thing.”

Jaskier pursed his lips. “Well, be that as it may, I am your spirit advisor, and I did promise. At least allow me to try one more thing.”

Geralt nodded. Bolstered by his reaction, Jaskier pulled a small box out of his jacket.

“What’s that?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be a very good Christmas demonstration without a present, would it?”

“I don’t have anything for you.”

Jaskier waved his hand. “Seeing your face as you open this is gift enough. Open it!”

Geralt took the box wearily and unwrapped it carefully. Jaskier had half expected him to tear the wrapping paper apart, but instead he carefully untucked and smoothed out every edge. Inside was a small ornament, in the shape of a lion’s paw. Geralt stared at it quietly and Jaskier felt himself fidget.

“I know you call Ciri your little lion cub sometimes. I overheard you on the phone with her, and, you know, maybe I overstepped…” 

“Jaskier. Thank you. It’s...perfect.”

He looked up and saw Geralt with a soft smile, only this time it was only for Jaskier and he felt his heart melt. “You’re very, very welcome, Geralt,” he said, reaching out to clasp their hands together.

Geralt looked at their joined hands and slowly brought them to his lips. He kissed the back of Jaskier’s hand and he felt himself flush like a maiden in a period piece. Gracious, it was warm in here.

“Geralt…”

“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling his hand away. “I shouldn’t have…”

“You missed.”

The furrow in his brow was back. “What?”

Jaskier smiled. “You missed. Let me show you.”

He leaned forward and kissed Geralt softly, letting him take the lead and move forward to capture Jaskier’s lips fully. It was a bit minty and the angle was wrong, but Jaskier felt his heart swell anyway. It was perfectly Geralt.

They pulled away, and Jaskier smiled at the uncharacteristic flush across Geralt’s cheeks.

“Well,” he broke the silence, “I suppose my work here is done.”

“How’s that?”

“Nothing says Christmas like a Christmas kiss.”

“I guess you’re right.”

Jaskier laughed and stood. “You should know I always am, darling. Now, come on! We don’t want to miss the ice skating rink…”

[billiejs]

Three times the boys are blown away by pop culture and new technologies (and one time when Julie can’t resist the 90s)

Julie and the Phantoms, Julie/Luke, the timelines are not super accurate but bear with me, 1.9k 

ALEX is obsessed with the Harry Potter books 

Luke checks his phone again for the seventh time in the past ten minutes, his guitar hanging from his shoulders. 

“DUDE!” He shouts out, eyebrows furrowed. “Are you gonna join us or what? We were supposed to start rehearsing half an hour ago!” 

Alex’s head peeks from the loft: he’s laying on the pavement beside the sofa, and his eyes are barely visible from behind a battered copy of a book. 

Julie sighs. Luke looks ready to blow Alex off, but she’s pretty sure it’ll make no difference. 

“I’m sorry! I’m nearly finished with this chapter, I swear!” Alex turns a page, eyes glued to the book. 

“You said that three chapters ago!” Luke’s eyes bulge out and he turns to Julie, pointing frantically upwards. “Is he serious? Are you serious?” 

Julie opens her mouth, but she’s not sure of what to say. Alex has been like that for the past three days. 

“Hey guys,” Reggie strides in, an open bag of Doritos in one hand and an aura of complete calm around him. Julie hadn’t even noticed he’d left. “Here Luke, you look nervous. Have some of these.” 

Luke looks at Julie, then at Reggie, then he shoves his hand in the bag of chips and starts munching angrily on a handful of Doritos. 

“Hey, ‘lex!” Reggie happily calls out. “Want some Doritos?” 

“Not now, I’m reading!” 

“IT SHOULD BE, NOT NOW I’M PLAYING!” 

“Luke, calm down.” Julie pleads, “He’s about to finish the book anyway.”

“Whatcha reading, Alex?” Reggie calls out to the loft. 

“It’s those damn Harry Potter things.” Luke seethes. “It’s like he can’t stop reading, he’s obsessed! Am I the only one who remembers we have a gig in four days?”

Reggie nods sympathetically at Luke. 

“Yeah man. But that’s a really cool story, I watched the films with Carlos last week,” Reggie mimics a brain explosion. “I was mind blown. Hey Alex, which one are you reading?” 

“Half-Blood Prince.” Alex replies, “And I’m almost done so…” 

“Ohhh that’s a good one. Did you already get to the part where Dumbledore dies?” 

A stunned silence falls over the studio. 

“Oh, boy.” Julie covers her face with her hands. A heavy rumble of footsteps announces Alex’s descent from the loft: his hair is sticking in weird directions and his eyes are bloodshot. He looks at Reggie like he’s ready to murder him. 

“Dumbledore what now?” Alex hisses, stepping forward.

“Dies. Snape kills him. Were you there yet?” 

Alex points his drumstick at Reggie’s face like it’s a magic wand. 

“NO, I WAS NOT!” Alex shouts. “HOW COULD YOU, REGGIE?” 

Before either Julie or Luke can do anything to stop him, Alex throws himself at Reggie and they both roll around the floor, trying to get on top of each other. Julie slips an arm around Luke’s waist to give him a comforting squeeze.

“We’re not going to get anything done today if we let them do this.” She reminds him. Reggie is currently smacking Alex with a throw pillow and Luke observes attentively. 

“Just a little more. Alex deserved it.” 

LUKE adores School of Rock

“Your boyfriend,” Alex comes into the kitchen with his hands on his hips and glares at Julie, “Is a hypocrite.” 

Julie, on her tiptoes to reach a jar of strawberry jam on the top shelf, just stares back.

“Be a little less specific, will you?” 

“Come see for yourself.” Alex grabs her by the hand and pulls her all the way to the studio, where Luke is currently busy playing a guitar solo kneeling on the floor, hair drenched in sweat.

“NO YOU’RE NOT HARDCORE,” he shouts, “UNLESS YOU LIVE HARDCORE!” 

“Ah,” Julie stands back and enjoys the show. “Luke, have you been watching School of Rock again?” 

“No,” Luke lies, smiling like Julie’s just brought the sun back after a dark winter. “Maybe?”

Julie purses her lips, smiling. She gets why Luke identifies so much with that movie. Jack Black’s love for rock music and the whole ‘stick it to the Man’ talk are all Luke is about. 

“You got mad at me for wanting to read Harry Potter instead of playing…” Alex accuses. 

“But I am playing.” Luke protests, his fingers sliding on his guitar to play a riff that Julie’s pretty sure he’s stealing from Hendrix. 

“Not our music!” Alex protests. “And before you even think about suggesting it, no, we’re not going to dress up in school uniforms for our next gig.” 

“You would rock a skirt, though.” Reggie points out.

“I would,” Alex flips his hair out, “And knee socks too. But can we please get to practicing now?” 

“It’s just, such a good story,” Luke tells Julie in a dreamy tone later that evening, while he’s splayed out in the garden squinting at the sky. There’s way too much light pollution to see any stars though. “I mean, the guy has a dream, and not only he manages to stay true to himself despite everyone going against him, he also inspires younger kids to do the same!” 

“Yeah, I know,” Julie laughs, petting Luke’s head in her lap. “You see yourself in him.” 

“I do,” Luke grins. “But I’m much better looking.” 

Julie lightly pulls at the hair on the back of his neck. 

“And people think Reggie is the vain one…”

Luke laughs, nestling more comfortably against her touch. Ever since they’ve become human again, he can’t seem to get enough. 

“You know what I was thinking…” he begins, tentatively. 

“No.” 

“You didn’t even let me speak.” 

“I already know what you’re going to say.” 

Luke sits up, making puppy eyes at her. 

“Come on, Jules! It would be epic!” 

Julie sighs, taking Luke’s hands in hers and looking him straight into his eyes. 

“No, Luke. You’re not stage diving at our next gig.” 

REGGIE can’t get enough of Siri

“Guys, I think something is wrong with Reggie.” Julie announces nervously, twisting her hands as she walks into the living room. Alex and Luke are sprawled in front of the Tv and don’t look half as worried as she thinks they should. 

“And you’re only noticing this now?” Alex arches his eyebrows, unbothered. 

“I’m serious, guys! Come see!” 

Julie guides them upstairs to the room that’s become Reggie’s, and they all peek from the semi-closed door.

“Hey, Siri,” they hear Reggie say, “Does anyone ever ask you, like, how are you?” 

“I’m fine, thank you. Helping you makes me happy.” 

“That’s very nice, thanks Siri.” Reggie sighs happily, kicking his feet up on his bed. “You never judge me, even when I asked you what a wi-fey was.”

“I don’t know what a wi-fey is. Were you looking for Wi-Fi?”

“I was!” Reggie slaps himself in the forehead. “You get me so well. Here, play our song Stand Tall, it’s one of my favorites.”

“Now playing: Stand Tall, by Julie and the Phantoms on Spotify.”

Outside in the corridor, Julie gestures frantically towards the room. 

“See what I mean?” She whispers, “That can’t possibly be okay.” 

“Think he feels a little lonely?” Alex scratches the back of his head. 

“I mean, he’s basically using Siri as a therapist so…” 

“I think you’re overreacting,” Luke shrugs. “He’s always liked robots. Siri is basically a talking computer, Reggie digs that stuff. 

Another happy sigh from Reggie as the song ends has them all listening intently. 

“So, this is one of the new songs. Sometimes I think to the fact that I actually died and lost my whole family and it’s a bit much, you know what I mean? I would like to find my parents, I think.” 

“Here are all the results I found for ‘parents’”

“Wait, you can do that?” Reggie sits up on his bed, his mouth hanging open. “I thought you could only call the pizza guys!” 

“Calling: pizza guy.” 

“Siri, you’re a blessing!” Reggie is enraptured. “I was feeling sad and you call pizza! It’s like you can read my mind!” 

“He shouldn’t be talking to Siri when he feels sad,” Julie hisses. Alex has sort of caught onto her concerns, but Luke merely giggles.

“I bet he’s going to call the milkshake place next.” 

“Siri,” Reggie says as soon as he’s placed his pizza order, “Can we call Gordon’s Milkshack next? I have a craving for a chocolate banana shake.” 

“Called it!”

(Bonus: JULIE discovers the Spice Girls)

Luke knows that one of Julie’s favorite parts of hanging out with them is introducing new technologies and pop culture wonders for the Millennials and Gen Z experience; she does this thing where she tilts her head to the right while she watches them discover something new and has a cute little smile Luke can’t get tired of seeing. 

He’s tried to do the same for her, but it seems that she already knows everything about the early 90’s. 

Except one day, he’s walking into the studio a little earlier than usual and finds it occupied by a Julie like he’s never seen her before, flailing her arms around and shaking her hips to the beat of a sugary pop song he knows all too well. 

“If you wanna be my lover…” 

Luke slaps a hand on his mouth and hides behind the door, watching Julie belt out Scary’s rap verse in perfect time. When the song ends, he comes out of his hiding spot with a cheek-splitting grin. 

“That was amazing!” 

“Luke!” Julie’s cheeks are blazing, but Luke can’t tell if it’s embarrassment or rage. Probably both. 

“Before you say anything,” Luke holds up his hands, “I was here for only a minute, but you rocked every single second of it.”

“Yeah, I like the Spice Girls, okay?” Julie nervously twists her hair into a ponytail and refuses to look him in the eyes. “I was going through a playlist and it came up, it’s good fun!” 

“Hey, no judgment!” Luke laughs, cupping her heated cheek in his hand and pulling her forward or a quick kiss. “You’re almost seventeen now, basically an adult. You can listen to whatever you want.” 

Julie smiles against his lips and kisses him again, humming the melody of Wannabe as he does. 

“Good thing your friends love me,” Luke laughs. 

“We have the same friends, I’m not sure it counts.”

Reggie and Alex choose that very moment to barge in, as if they’d been summoned. 

“Practice time!” Reggie announces, pinching Luke’s waist and sneaking out of reach immediately. “No more love-birding here.” 

Alex reaches Julie’s laptop that’s still plugged into the sound system.

“Oh, let’s see what your love tunes are…”

“NO!” Julie’s horrified shout comes too late, because Alex is already doubled over laughing. 

Luke leaves her to shout about privacy while Say you’ll be there blasts over the speakers.

“I’ll be right back guys.” He says, stepping out of the studio. He’s got an idea and there’s no time to waste. 

Luke fishes his phone from his pocket and scans through his contact list. Reggie’s right: these touch screen thingies are pretty cool after all. 

“What do you want?” A shrill, annoyed voice comes up from the other end of the line. 

“Hello to you too, Carrie,”  Luke smiles through the phone.

“Is Julie sick? Did she find out about the surprise party? Is this why you’re calling?” Carrie’s tone sounds accusatory, and Luke just knows that there is no way he’ll ever be able to get along with her. She is the spawn of his traitor ex bandmate after all. 

“No, but that’s why I’m calling you.” He explains, “How would Dirty Candy like to become Julie’s favorite performance of the party?” 

There’s a pause. 

“I’m listening.” 

Luke grins. He’s about to win the best-boyfriend-in-the-universe award. 

“I hope you’re ready to Spice it up, Carrie.” 

_______________________________________________ Thank you for reading! I know the Spice Girls are late 90s so the boys wouldn’t really know them, but bear with me.  Feel free to drop a prompt in my askbox if you’d like! More minifics (x)

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

Okay. Since I have NO CHILL.... But what about a fic where reddie gets together in secret and hides their relationship. But they go away for a weekend after graduation and the losers are already suspicious, but it’s then confirmed when eddie&richie both post a selfie of them kissing in front of like. Idk a sunset or a cute background and is just like “surprise” (but is it really??)

(sorry for the wait Sara but here you go!)

* * * * *

Eddie stepped out of the classroom at the end of sixth period and he headed towards the exit where all the losers met up to walk home. It had become a sort of routine when Mike arrived at the school during Freshman Year. They had decided that since Mike was knew, and thanks to all the bullying, they would be safer in numbers and took turns walking Mike to the Farm to school and then from.

It was during one of these walks that Eddie and Richie merged into EddieandRichie. Since the group had decided to pair up when walking Mike to and from the farm and Ben and Bev had paired up, as well as Bill and Stan, that left Richie and Eddie. Not that the two were complaining, as even before that, they were gravitating towards each other.

Then one winter evening after they dropped Mike off and it was just starting to get dark outside, Richie had laced their fingers together on the path away from the farm. Eddie fought back a smile as his cheeks flushed, hidden by the darkness of the night. By the time they reached Eddie’s house, they were both smiling like idiots and Richie had brought Eddie’s hand to his lips, kissing it softly.

“G’night, Eds.”

Four months later and they were well into a relationship, even if it was being kept a secret from the other losers. Both Richie and Eddie had agreed, mutually, that they would keep their relationship to themselves and not draw any more attention to them or their friends. According to them, the last thing they needed was everyone staring at them for being gay and in love.

Eddie was just about to step outside when a pair of arms were wrapped around his waist and pulled him into the supply closet. The door was closed behind him and Richie’s lips were on Eddie’s kissing him deep and burying his hands into his hair. “Heya, Eds,” he breathed against his lips.

“Rich, what are you doing?” Eddie asked, pulling away just a little. “The others, they’re waiting for us...we don’t want them to catch us.”

Richie shrugged, keeping his arm around Eddie’s waist, “Wanted to see you before,” he mumbled. “I miss you, I miss not being able to see you and kiss you whenever I want.” He ran his free hand through his hair, “Come away with me this weekend, please? My folks, you know that summer house they have just outside Boston? Come with me and we can...be us, together?”

Eddie paused, looking into Richie’s eyes, “Rich...my mom would never let me, you know that,” he whispered. “She barely lets me stay over at Bills on a Friday night. What makes you think she’ll let me disappear for the whole weekend? With you no less.” After the words left his lips, Eddie realised how awful it sounded. “Rich-”

“It’s fine,” Richie shook his head. “I have a plan just...you trust me right?” He asked. “I have a plan. Meet me at the barrens tonight at seven and you won’t have to worry about the rest of the weekend. Your mother won’t even know your gone.”

Of course, Eddie was wary, but he trusted Richie with his life and sure, it would be great to spend a weekend away with his boyfriend without being scared or hiding. “Okay, I’ll be at the barrens tonight, at seven,” he nodded his head. “We need to go now though, before someone comes looking and they find us.”

Although reluctant, Richie agreed and let Eddie leave the closet first, following behind him and swung an arm over his shoulder. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, as Richie was always touching Eddie in some way or the other. The others were all still waiting for them outside, and Bev raised her eyebrows at them, but didn’t say anything, simply moving into step with Ben as they all made their way towards Mike’s farm, something they did every Friday night as it meant spending more time together.

As soon as Eddie stepped into the house after they all parted ways, he moved into the kitchen to see a note from his mother. It was letting him know she had gone to her sisters for the weekend he was to be on his best behaviour in her absence and she would see him on Sunday evening. A smile broke onto Eddie’s face as he realised this was the reason he wouldn’t have a problem sneaking away with Richie for the weekend.

He rushed up the stairs and pulled out his mini-suitcase, packing some overnight clothes for the weekend before making his way out to the barrens where Richie was already waiting for him, his truck parked to the side and ready to go. Eddie didn’t hesitate in throwing his bag into the backseat and wrapping his arms around Richie’s neck in a hug. “How did you know my mother would be gone for the weekend?”

Richie grinned at him, leaning down to steal a quick kiss before pulling back. “My mom overheard her on the phone at the supermarket. She must have been talking to her sister or something. She gave me the heads up. Mags really is our relationship MVP.”

“Yeah, but that’s because she’s the only one who knows about us. You can’t say that Bev wouldn’t be high on the MVP scale if she knew,” Eddie grinned, stepping back and heading to the passenger side of Richie’s truck. Richie just laughed and followed him around, climbing into the driver’s seat and turning the keys in the ignition.

“I tried to convince dad to give me his car this weekend,” Richie mumbled as he pulled away from the barrens and onto the main road. “He said that no amount of begging would let him trust me with his car, so my truck it is, Eds.”

Eddie just rolled his eyes a little and got comfortable in the seat, “You cleaned the truck up for me, that’s the best I could have asked for to be honest.” They fell into a comfortable silence, the music playing from the stereo that was hooked up to Richie’s phone. “Is this my playlist?” Eddie asked after a few songs, all of which featured on Richie’s playlist that he named ‘Eds’.

He watched a flush appear on his boyfriend’s cheeks, but there was no answer, so Eddie picked up his phone from where it sat, logging in to Spotify. Sure enough, it was his ‘Eds’ playlist, and Eddie couldn’t help the smile that broke out onto his face. Richie squawked from his seat, “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m not laughing!” Eddie defended himself, shaking his head. “I’m impressed that you know me so well to have all my favourite songs on the one playlist.” He continued to flick through the songs that Richie had on his playlist as he had always known it existed, but only now was he getting the chance to actually see.

“You know, I think Bev knows about us,” Richie muttered about half way through the drive. Eddie looked over at him from where he was lost in thought, looking at the scenery outside the window. “I told her I couldn’t hang out on Sunday with her…because of course I’ll be with you and she just gave me this look…as though she knew that I’d be with you.”

Eddie frowned, tilting his head to the side, “Well, it’s almost graduation and we’ll all be leaving for college soon. They are going to find out sooner or later because I have no plans on ending this with you.” He let out a sigh. “I think we should tell them, when we get back. Get all the losers together and just…come clean. Aren’t you tired of hiding from them?”

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Richie nodded his head and made a turn in, pulling up to a service stop that was by a lake reservoir. The sight was one to behold, as the sun was just beginning to set, casting a warm orange glow over the water. “Why wait until Sunday?” Richie asked and grabbed his phone. Eddie watching him get out of the car and head over to the edge of the lake.

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked as he got out of the car, following him until they were standing side by side. “We’re not going back, Rich. I want to spend this weekend with you.”

Richie nodded, “And we are, I’m not saying we go back. I’m saying we take a really cheesy picture of us kissing in front of the sunset and send it to them in the group chat.” His eyebrows waggled as he pulled up the camera and Eddie relented, nodding his head. Richie grinned and held the phone away from him as he leaned down, catching Eddie’s lips in a kiss as he snapped the picture.

Eddie had to say, he was rather impressed at the turnout of the picture and allowed Richie to send it to all the losers in the chat. Barely five seconds later, both of their phones were blowing up with messages in response.

Bev: I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT

Billy: Gross guys, right in front of my salad, really?

Haystack: I’m so happy for you!

Mikey: Congratulations guys!

Stan the Man: You all owe me 5 bucks.

Stan the Man: Congrats.

Both of them just laughed and turned their phones off. They would deal with their friends on Sunday when they got back to Derry. Right now though, they just slipped back into Richie’s truck and continued to the holiday home, happy and in love.

* * * * *

@richietoaster @tozier-boy @eds-trashmouth @bitchbrak @sloppybitchreddie @its-stranger-than-you-think @maximusfraker @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @thejadeazalea @halfway-happy353 @tinyarmedtrex @inthebreadbinwrites @kat-ships-everything @takeourpure @lo-v-ers @that-weird-girls-blog @studpuffin @s-s-georgie @reddie-for-anything @trashmouthtozierr @richietoizer @girasol-eddie @bi-bi-richie @honeybeehanlon @mars-14 @reddiesetandgo @marsisaplanetyall @xandertheundead @sedanleystanley @hawkinsbabe @beepbeeprichiellc @stellarbisexual @oldguybones @stanleuyris @eduardoandale  @purplepoisonedgem @reddie-to-cryy @pink-psychic @violetreddie @toziesque @queen-sock @appojoos @moonlightrichie @rreddies @disneyfan567 @annxmatron @lifesucksheres20bucks @anellope @roobarrtrashmouth @are-you-reddie-for-it @callmechee @nancynwheeler @reddieforlove @twoidiotsinl0ve @madi-artist @tozierking @s-onora @atownofeggs  @wilding-throught-thehallways @no-she-wasnt-reddie @dadbodrichie @thorn-harvester-ven @eddiekasbpark @sparklingrainbowdragon @ransonelovebot @gloire-celeste @derrylosers @3tothe1 @virgo-luthie @sashadrowned @spirited-marvel @losers-gotta-stick-together @rebecca-the-queen @ultrapaninibred

[rayegunn]

Thor Playlist

So, something I like to do sometimes is create playlists for things i am reading/watching. It's mostly for myself, it's just a way for me to force myself out of ruts where i listen to the same thing over and over, as i go searching for the perfect song. Either from new stuff i find, or old favorites i haven't thought to play in a while. It also forces me to pay attention to the lyrics, since i have a bad habit of tuning out the words. The playlists usually kinda fizzle out after a while, but I made one for the Thor and Loki comics, and it really lent itself to my tastes, cus Cates' run in particular is metal as fuck, and also deals with some themes that have some good songs to represent them.

Anyway, what I am trying to say, is, I gave it a complete listen, and... I like it. It came out particularly well, and is still going strong. Figured I would share it. I usually make the playlists on Youtube, because I just use Youtube a lot, and I like seeing the videos, if a song has them. But a friend wanted to listen on a drive, so I made a copy of the Cates section on Spotify.

So here is the playlist

- Youtube

- Spotify

Just be forewarned, it got quite lengthy, and I do tend to like my music on the heavier side. I like metal, so there is a lot of it there. I am also a child of the 90s, that is my nostalgia zone, so the 90s finds its way in there on the regular, and when the story was focusing on feelings of nostalgia, oh, you better believe I went full on 90s. I try to be open minded, though, and do like other types of music, so there s some more pop type stuff, and also I do really like some singer-songwriter/folk type stuff, so a bunch of that in there... but just saying, if you are looking for something full of radio friendly pop or hip-hop, you won't find it here. It's generally dark, heavy, sludgy, sometimes proggy, sometimes folky, and frequently has growled vocals. If you're not into that, it may not be for you. But I think it would be cool if you gave it a chance, even if you're not, you might be surprised.

Also, a note about the Youtube playlist, as mentioned it has songs at the beginning the Spotify one lacks, because I have the Kibblesmith Loki run and some WotR at the beginning on Youtube, while Spotify is just Donny Cates run. If you want to start with the Cates stuff on Youtube, just go to Legend of the King by Avatar. Also, youtube is sort of where i put it together, so it has a bunch at the end that are just me taking some guesses on where things are headed, and saving some songs for future use. So the end bit, (after Closing time as i write this but that will shift) is all jumbled and has a bunch of stuff likely to be cut later if i don't find a use for it.

But yeah, last week, I went to add songs for the most recent issue, before the next issue came out, and.... things snowballed. The playlist originally had a bunch of stuff like Aaron's King Thor mini, and the Valkyrie stuff, but decided there was no thread running through those to the newer stuff, so I cut a bunch of those songs, and moved some of them to the Black Winter section, because I decided I didn't have enough for the Black Winter arc, and several of those songs actually fit really well. I kept the Loki solo and the end of WotR on the Youtube version though, because there is a thread connecting those to the current arc. So yeah, though technically this is supposed to be a thing where i add a few songs every time a new issue hits, I ended up doing a complete overhaul of Cates run, and i think that's why it ended up hanging together as well as it did. But it is still being tweaked. I think it's pretty much done for now, but the last couple days I've found myself slipping in or removing a song here and there, and that will likely continue for a while. and, of course, every time there is a new issue, I will add new songs.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Debuff Zane Build

i am tired of not seeing this build in all the zane build videos i watch so im sharing it here because its stupid fun bc u run fast and kill faster. it’s not meta, but its fun as fuck and u have a lot of damage and survivability with it. I’ve completed M4 Slaughter Shaft with it- haven’t tried on M10 yet but i have faith. p.s its 4 am pls have mercy if there’s spelling mistakes.

what ur gonna need is a band of sitorak, zheitseiv’s eruption, a seein’ dead, and the piss grenade. everything else is fair game, whatever u want. try to get it to have the sntl cryo anoint bc good. but u must have the 4 main items for this to work perfectly (it also somewhat works with a low level Frozen Heart bc best shield in the game but you will die a lot more)

also i need a fucking name for this build help

oh god oh fuck i forgot i was playing through the handsome jackpot dlc again

oki im ready to party

this is my current loadout

sometimes i switch the reg Q-System for a kaoson or a nighthawkin if i need ammo (OP QSystem is... OP but not as fun as a tracking grenade QSystem so i don’t care for it) and maybe the brainstormer for a reflux if many shielded enemies (i prefer the brainstormer over the reflux atm. so try for a brainstormer!!)

3rd slot, that’s a monarch which used to be a dictator b4 it got a straight upgrade. I actually don’t use the bipod unless im in a boss fight and don’t need to move fast. usually violent momentum and violent violence cover the dps loss

ur first 3 gun slots honestly don’t matter much. I have my reasons for using them, but you can use whatever u want i think, so long as its a strong weapon (bc unfortunately a lot of weapons are not scaled for m10). u dont HAVE to use the monarch or the Q system or the brainstormer. I recommend them, cuz theyre fun, but u don’t gotta if u wanna swap em out for a a kaoson or a yellowcake or a sandhawk or smth

the last gun is my zheitsev’s eruption. This bad boy, when u reload, shoots out homing balls of debuffery. So every enemy that gets hit with these gets a debuff. I have tried this with the needler but I prefer Zheitsev’s bc it can hit more enemies and once and takes less time. this gun only goes to Blane (ur clone). 

for the skill trees we have no points in under cover even tho brainfreeze is the best skill in the gaaaaame

explanations: 

really the hitman tree is p self explanatory, u wanna go fast as fuck boiii. My band of sitorak does not have the +15 movespeed while zoomer is active anoint (it has the break shield amp anoint, which is p okay. want movespeed, but a nice human from the reddit gave me this sitorak so i didn’t have to farm). u want drone delivery bc Blane will NOT be throwing grenades. If you try to make him throw grenades with the seein’ dead he will ONLY throw grenades and never fire his gun, meaning he’ll never reload. it’s a nightmare. anyway. u want the piss grenade (ideally with the +25% damage on thrown anoint). im not looking forward to regrinding this when they finally mayhem buff grenades.

we put one point into playing dirty because we want those extra shots and honestly with the amount of times seein’ dead can proc ur kill skills you’ll have it more often than not

we also have points in good misfortune for that sweet sweet uptime (which btw can be infinite using the brainstormer/reflux bc it is essentially a redistributor without the need for ur barrier) the monarch/dictator also does it justice

for Blane u DON’T WANT praemuntis. we want blane reloading as often as gotdamn possible. now unfortunately my seein’ dead gave me a +weapon mag size roll (im actually not sure if this affects blane, but im assuming it does) but it does have the amazing +5 donnybrook so I’m taking it anyway. I am so not looking forward to regrinding a good class mod when they finally release action skill buffs for them. i cri. i actually hear 3 points in donnybrook and 2 in violent violence is p good (or 1 in violent violence 1 in playin dirty) so maybe grinding won’t be so bad. maybe i’ll finally get a +weapon damage roll

u can grab 1 point in ducttape mod and put 4 points into borrowed time if you want. it doesn’t really matter. i current have 5 in borrowed time and 3 in pocket full of grenades (for some reason??? usually i only put 2 in.). U can do that and use those extra points for either ducttape mod or more points in playing dirty. 

u NEED quick breather. This skill has a STUPID interaction with the band of sitorak shield because of how quickly it recharges. I’m talking, the instant you swap with Blane, you have full shields and so does he. It’s dumb, I love it. Use it to get out of trouble.

so im probably gonna need to explain why i have 3 points in trick of the light: im a cryo slut. That’s it. put those wherever you want, just make sure you can get Double Barrel. i’ve seen builds where people actually go for brainfreeze, i might try that next time i respec.

Double barrel will make it so blane can use the zheitsev’s eruption and debuff your enemies for you. it’s worth it.

so the augments u want are these:

SCHADENFREUDE. because band of sitorak has such a tiny capacity, ur shield is constantly up. If its not, it’s constantly breaking from full capacity. this does have a fun effect with the amp shield break anoint, but mainly i like it for the 25% damage buff whenever it breaks. its a tradeoff for damage, ur constantly swapping between max shields and more damage, so its actually p constant survivability and damage over the long run.

i grab doppelbanger bc blane sometimes gets stuck in the floor and/or i don’t feel like running all the way back. i wouldn’t recommend getting which one’s real or digital distribution only bc u want him alive as much as possible. u can also get binary system instead of doppelbanger, its up to you

for Zoomer u want bad dose for the movement speed and (sometimes) static field (only if the enemies have shields). this is so if blane goes down or he isn’t taking damage, zoomer can refill ur shields. if the enemies won’t have shields usually i grab winter’s drone or boomsday depending on how i feel.

im actually gonna try to see if i can’t grab brain freeze. hang on. i know trick of the light is frowned upon for most people so lemme just respec. (im sorry i just love the vibes it gives me it’s like HAHA you thought that was me? no!!! boop. and then they’re ice sculptures and man i love h2o i wish emma had frozen more people the only people she really freezes are Greg and Miriam and honestly she doesn’t even kill Greg smh. (Greg is dr denman’s assistant. greg is highkey god.) I do like what she did to Mirami, the fucking implications that YES these teenage girls ARE powerful enough to instakill people, they just don’t out of the kindness of their hearts. Rikki was badass that episode too. actually i love the episode where rikki almost boils a dude alive for making a fool of her with ILLEGAL F I S H and burns people using steam from a pipe. rikki is my favorite mermaid- she knew what was u p. I wish mako mermaids was as badass as h2o was. and the cartoon. god imagine the cartoon violence. sigh. let them use their op superpowers to be SUPERHEROES. like in h2o au i have baron flynt puppeteer people to their deaths from Thor bc he has cleo’s powers like why couldn’t she do that to someone. Like dr denman “lmao bye bitch” or even charlotte (who imho wasn’t bad until cleo started being rude to her. cleo was 100% at fault that season). it wouldn’t have killed her!!! ... instantly. probably. ive never seen avatar in full but i did watch the blood bending episode as a child and as i understand it that’s frowned upon but hey. CAN BELLA TURN PEOPLE INTO JELLY?? harry potter 🅱oneless arms... my god.)

anyway, respeccing. 

there goes all my money. rip.

so i think im gonna have to live with the slower reload speed (sob) but yes u can in fact get brain freeze with this build. lemme show...

so ye in the event u just can’t live without freezing people (i know the feeling) feel free to do this. imma play with this for a bit and see if i can live with slower reload. I actually depend on the 100% cryo with zoomer active for all my cryo damage. i also use an ice breaker so they freeze fairly easy (but only on mobs. on bosses u want the snowdrift or something else)

this build isn’t really meta and u might have trouble doing a solo run of true takedown on m10... bc its true takedown on m10, but honestly it’s fun as F U C K. you CAN do it, but it’s not no thoughts head empty like barrier-redistrubutor/yellowcake zane can be so u gotta be on TOP of ur SHIT. i love it. running around killing stuff. it’s fun. i also love teleporting. it’s my FAVORITE THING. I STILL GET GIDDY OVER IT BECAUSE IT’S SO FUN. ask my friends, they will tell you, sometimes i’ll just start gushing over how much fun it is to teleport even though i’ve played zane since release. just. GFDGHKJGDFK so much fun. i just... b o o p. god i love this game. i took a break to play assassin’s creed odyssey (fun sneaky beaky game, pretty awful dialogue) so DAMN i missed this. 

here’s a link to a video I took on athenas (my favorite area to run. it’s this game’s bloodshot stronghold!) this is the playlist i listen to while playing Zane. i keep swapping songs during play bc sometimes they don’t fit my vibe or i get tired of them lol (spotify control is hooked to my 4th and 5th mouse buttons so i don’t have to stop playing) i forgot where my shock sandhawk was in my inventory, is what i use to demolish traunt. i was so scared i threw it in my bank earlier on sanc-iii lol (also yes i still slap blane’s ass. it’s to encourage him to kill)

and here’s a link to the save + everything I had on me at the moment (including the stuff i picked up in the vid in case u want it lol) cuz im lazy and don’t feel like clearing out my inventory. some of these are only m4-9. which ones? it is a mystery. you’ll know when the new update releases ;) (no but actually im so hype for mayhem level on the item cards. finally. FINALLY!!!)

why is this video taking so long to upload. hynnnggggg

oh god is that the sun

[polygarnstars]

part 1: 4, 12, 15, 18, and 19

If you think I’m going to have common sense and not answer all of these in a single post, I have Bad News lmao

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? Smart, mostly. “Gifted”. This very much Did Not Last lmaoooo

12. name of your favorite playlist? I literally never make playlists I’m a stupid fuck who uses their spotify premium to skip freely through all my thousands of liked songs on shuffle until I find something I want to listen to lmaooooo (Having said that: Rey and I put together a playlist for some characters we were entering a contest to win last fall which I titled Story and Song after the TAZ arc and also because we wrote Way Too Much for it and I’m Very Proud Of That)

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Okay upon reading this I initially genuinely couldn’t remember any of the books I read in school because for the last several years of my schooling I just fuckin Sparknotes and TV Tropes-ed everything lmao... having said that, I do remember enjoying Maus! It was neat having a graphic novel assigned amongst all the “literary classics” that I couldn’t sit through a sitting of without falling asleep, and it may be the furry in me but the depiction of the characters/people as animals was Good :0c See, if all history was depicted with methods like this, I’d maybe actually be able to remember it ghfdjhgjfkdl

18. ideal weather? Depends on the day, but generally: Between like 65-80°F, not humid, not a lot of wind, and either sunny, partly cloudy, or drizzly but not outright storming. Basically decent temperatures without feeling like I’m walking through soup because of the humidity and weather that’s not completely gray and boring. Aka what Maine basically never is lmaoooo

19. sleeping position? I change positions every five minutes I swear to god (don’t take that out of context gfhdjbhvjd). Usually with at least one arm draped over a pillow that is Definitely Not Being Mentally Portrayed As A Character I Like To Supplement The Fact That I Did Not Get Enough Affection To Be A Functional Adult As A Child ghfdjknbhgfjdk

21. obsession from childhood? bold of you to assume i don’t still obsess over nintendo games (and just video games in general tbh)

23. strange habits? OKAY I COULDN’T THINK OF ANYTHING FOR THIS AT FIRST BUT I HAVE ONE NOW: MIDNIGHT FRIES

28. five songs to describe you? Speeding - LightsDaydreaming - ParamoreMusic - Mystery SkullsNo Lullaby - SIAMÉSLonely Dance - Set If Off+Bonus because it came up on Spotify while I was shuffling for songs for this and it’s a Mood: Pineapples Do Not Belong on a Pizza - Vargskelethor

29. best way to bond with you? I don’t know I usually just scream about ocs or video games with people and suddenly it’s been a year??? @riskreyes how has it been a year since we started talking but also how has it only been a year??? Wild bvhfdjkbhvgfjdk

30. places that you find sacred? Lmao I’ve never had anywhere like that really. Need a goddamn lock on my door :p I guess... the woods by my house? As a little kid before things got shitty my neighbor’s cousin or niece or something would go out there wandering around catching frogs and stuff in the spring or almost falling into the frozen streams during winter. When things started to go to shit in my life as a teenager I would hide out there to get away and nobody would find me. I haven’t been recently but the last time I did my friend and I walked along the train tracks and dove off into the woods by the side to avoid the amtrak coming by, it was great lmao. Uhh, other than that... I dunno, Boston and New York and New London all make me feel good to visit. Probably mostly because during those trips I don’t feel trapped in a dying land like Maine feels like bgvhfdjkhvgfjd

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? ......my entire wardrobe is my work outfit, excessive graphic tees, and jeans. So uhh... I dunno. I guess my NWTB shirts are pretty rad, I’d kick a dude’s ass wearing Nate’s merch

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? if i have to see another ad for some fuckin branch of the us military while i’m just out here trying to watch people play video games i swear to god-

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Oh boy I don’t know how weird these are but do you want a list??? I can give you a list hang on- In 4th grade we had a day of class where we all just had a party and ate chips and salsa and stuff because the pats won the super bowl and our teacher was Obsessed- In middle school my math class started working out of college textbooks, which is a bit much when you’re 11, advanced classes or no. Yet somehow none of the other students had any problems with this- Also in middle school, the school counselor really wasn’t very Good at his job so I usually just ended up playing Rock Band in his office instead of talking out any of my Many, Many Problems. I played the drums, for the record- Also in middle school, one time I straight up fell down a flight of stairs? Like, a full flight of stairs. Fuckin somersaulting down the stairs. The binder I was carrying broke open, papers went everywhere, my arm got cut open somewhere along the way and started bleeding. I get to the bottom, the other students are staring at me in horror, aforementioned counselor fuckin steps out of his office which is, of course, right at the bottom of the stairs, all concerned because what the fuck a kid just fell down the stairs, right? And so I, laying on the floor disoriented and laughing, declare, and I quote: “That was fun, let’s do it again!”- THE MOTHERFUCKING MAC AND CHEESE MUFFINS IN HIGH SCHOOL. Macaroni and cheese baked into the sweet batter of a muffin. I refused to touch the stuff but a friend of my did and it was bad enough he had to go to the trash can and fucking empty his stomach in it.- SAID FRIEND ALSO MANAGED TO GET A CARTON OF MILK THAT EXPIRED A MONTH BEFORE SCHOOL STARTED AT THE START OF ONE OF OUR YEARS IN HIGH SCHOOL and if I didn’t trust cafeteria food before that sealed the deal on me Never Trusting It Again- OH BUT SPEAKING OF CAFETERIA FOOD one time in the old school before the renovation, in like freshman year I think? I laughed so hard a piece of spicy chicken strip flew up my windpipe and got stuck in my nose and it was too big for me to snort out so I had to suck it back down and for the rest of the day all I could smell was burning- ON ANOTHER FOOD RELATED TOPIC down in the library I was on my iPad and 3DS because I had Long Since Given Up On School and some asshole dudes threw a rotting orange at me and it splattered all over the screens of both? So I picked up the remains and chucked it back at them and yelled “Do you wanna fucking NOT?” and they all ran off. The librarian heard me yell and saw me throw the orange back at them and she just didn’t give a fuck lmao- The librarians at my school were cool as shit really during one of our years we had to do x hours of volunteer work so I did some adjustments to the library catalogue for mine but the thing is I was fast enough at it that there really wasn’t enough to fill up my required hours so instead of giving me more to do they just sort of let me and my friends hang out playing Yu-Gi-Oh and called that good lmao. (For the record I only had one starter deck so I let my friend pick half of the cards and I would use the half she didn’t want. I managed to fuckin WRECK her with throwaways it was Iconicque)- OKAY ONE LAST LIBRARY STORY on the last day of finals I was hanging out in one of the smart tv rooms in the library right? My last finals weren’t for a few hours and lord knows I wasn’t gonna study, ADHD ass couldn’t do that and I’d already given up on school lmao. So I fucking... I brought my Wii U to school, hooked it up to the smart tv, and just started playing Splatoon there in the library. One of the librarians walked past to check on everyone, stopped at my room, watched me play for a minute (I noticed her and just sort of nodded and waved like ‘Sup’ so she Knew what was going on), and then just LEFT. Like, she didn’t give a fuck. Shoutout to the librarians, the Chillest- ALRIGHT LAST STORY LAST STORY I straight up never got all the credits I needed to graduate lmao. I was missing half a credit but they let me go anyway and to this day I cite the reason as being my high scores on the SAT/PSAT? I was the first student at the school in like, a decade, to have gotten an award from the National Merit Scholarship Corporation for my performance on them, and I guess they must have thought that me failing to graduate on time would look bad on them because, uh, yeah, it would, if people found out their teachers couldn’t handle a ~smart kid~ to the point that they did poorly enough to not even graduate with the rest of their class nobody would be willing to send their kids there lmao. And that’s the story of how I graduated when I wasn’t technically supposed to!!!

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? That’s a good fuckin question hey shit memory what was that thing that made us laugh so hard we couldn’t breathe again?...Don’t remember? Yeah I thought so lmaoI dunno, probably a joke in some let’s play? Or... god. Now that I think about it was probably the Slicer of T’pire Weir Isles moment actually. Holy shit, that was good.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? That I’ve ever tried? Jesus, I dunno, I have issues with texture more than flavor. I Refuse to eat my mother’s stuffing because it’s literally just soggy ass bread. In terms of pure flavor alone? Her shepherds pie. It’s just... there is no flavor. It’s like eating cardboard. I’m begging you, De, use seasoning. If I ever have to eat shepherds pie that just tastes like tin from canned peas and vague hints of unseasoned beef again I’m going to go on a murderous rampage.That said? F in the chat to Cameron for that mac and cheese muffin. Rest in pieces

73. favorite weird flavor combo? GVFHDJBVDN JUST GONNA MAKE ME SHARE THE DILL PICKLE/CHOCOLATE PUDDING PACK COMBO FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE HUH

93. nicknames? Gar, Garn, Lane, Bill, Master, Pants, Shortpants. The first three are self-explanatory, first two are shortenings of my name and then my masc/surname. The latter four come from usernames of mine - Bill from Bill Ciforce (If you stack a Bill Cipher on top of two other Bill Ciphers, you get the Ciforce), Master, Pants, and Shortpants from MasterShortpants in reference to one of Link’s nicknames in Skyward Sword

95. favorite app on your phone? Does the internet app count? No? Lmao. Spotify I guess :p Need me some Tunes

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

When You Least Expect It, Part Seven

Jensen x Musician!Reader; Nathan (OMC); Mama Mia (OFC)

Also featured this chapter: Rob Benedict, Briana Buckmaster, Jason Manns

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

A/N: This is a slow burn fic that I have been working on for a while. Its a story I wrote for myself and just wanted to share with everyone. Yes, the “Dee” in the story is who you think, but there is no intended hate on her or their actual marriage. It is a work of fiction, that is all. Part seven is from BOTH POVs. There is also a playlist to go along with the series.  

Series Playlist: “When You Least Expect It” (Spotify). Songs in this chapter include: “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”; “What About Love”, “The Joker”; “Whipping Post”

Beta’d by @closetspngirl who has contributed so much to this fic! Thank you for not only indulging my lunacy but encouraging it with gusto! She also put together the amazing wardrobe shown in this chapter, as well. I don’t know what I would do without you!!!

Chapter Summary: Realizing that its time to leave NJ again to get back to work on the festival and have a much-needed conversation with Jensen, Y/N meets up with everyone at ChiCon. This gives finally gives her a moment with Jensen and an added bonus of playing with Louden Swain, featuring Briana Buckmaster, on stage for a crowded ballroom; something that affects Jensen more than he was expecting it too.

Chapter Warnings: Ehhh... nothing really. 

WC: 9.5K

*Banner created by me; pics & gifs found online

It had been one month since Y/N left Austin and came back to New Jersey. One month of awkward texts with Jensen related only to work, daily calls or texts from Briana and at least one Skype or FaceTime call from Robbie every few days. When it came to the amount of work and scouting to be done for the festival, the little man was a bundle of nerves and Y/N was the only one who seemed to be able to talk him down.

February came, and that’s when the first real pangs of doubt began to creep in. The life she had begun in Texas was beginning to fade, and she found herself missing it. Y/N missed the townhouse and living so close to a city like Austin with the diversity in the restaurants, the bars, the bands, the nightlife… and of course, there was Jensen. She missed all of it. Not that life in New Jersey had been boring or lackluster. Y/N had gone back to work for Leo temporarily since she was handling both ends of the transactions now for the Brewfest. Being back in her small office in his hotel, living in the bungalow again felt good, but the longer the cold winds of winter at the shore blew through and chilled her to the bone, the more she really missed Austin.

It wasn’t all work, though. She had a couple of occasions to play at one of the bars that were still open in Seaside during the winter, as well as reconnect with a few friends from the Burlesque group. Y/N had even spent some time with Nathan, though when she did, she made sure to keep her guard up, be wary of any promises he made or plans he tried to get her to agree too. Reminiscing with him was a trap that was easier to fall into than she thought it would be, and after the third time they met for coffee, she invited him to go have dinner. Once or twice a week in the time she was home, she would run into him in town, or make plans to hang out. Y/N always tried to keep it in a public place, and never let him get too close. She was doing her best to follow Bri’s advice and figure out what it was she wanted from, not just Nathan, but life itself.

In between all of that, was Jensen. Y/N thought of him every day, and on more than one occasion picked up the phone to actually call him. However, knowing that he was traveling from Vancouver to conventions and back for the foreseeable future, she decided against it. After the way they left things, she thought maybe a random phone call wouldn’t be the best move and wanted to wait until she could see him face to face. When that would be, she didn’t know, but by the time Groundhog Day had rolled around, she felt ready to make it happen soon.

The morning she woke up with the intention to make arrangements to fly back, a winter storm warning had gone into effect, ultimately grounding all flights in or out of the area. Y/N knew the drill and began to run the errands necessary to hunker down for the long haul, getting supplies for two to three days at least. By the time she reached the bungalow and filled the small pellet stove in the corner of the room, the snow had started falling.

As a kid, seeing the beach turn from the beige sand, to white snow had always been sort of magical. Watching the waves crash and spray the icy mist into the swirling flakes made her feel like she was experiencing something majestic, and it always left her feeling a little whimsical and reflective. That’s what she was doing when she heard the knock at the door several hours later, just as the storm was hitting its peak.

Pulling the crocheted blanket around her shoulders, Y/N went to the front door and opened it enough to see who it was.

“Nathan?” she asked, then opened it further and with it came a burst of cold, snowy air. “Come in before the snow does.” She ushered him in and closed the door quickly. “What are you doing here?”

He removed his scarf and hat, shaking off the snow that littered his shoulders and boots. “I came by to make sure you were alright. Didn’t know if you realized that cell service is sketchy, wanted to be sure you had everything you needed.”

“Yeah, I saw the winter storm advisory last night, made sure to hit the market this morning. Don’t tell me you walked all the way here from Seaside Park. That’s a few miles at least.”

“No, I have my dad’s truck,” he said then paused before unzipping his coat. Y/N could see in his eyes he came not just to check up on her, but because he wanted to stay a while.

“I’m fine, Nathan. Just watching the snow, reading and staying warm. I have everything I need.”

“Ok,” he said and half turned back to the door, then faced her again. He wore that crooked grin that she used to love so much. “Well then, maybe you need some company?”

“Sure. But I am going to tell you now, you can’t stay the night. You have to leave before the sun goes down.”

“Of course, Y/N. I just thought we could hang out for a bit.”

“Want some tea?”

“No,” he laughed. “I hate that stuff. I’ll take a soda if you got any, though.”

“Sorry, fresh out,” she said, but there’s water or juice in the fridge.

“Sweet,” he replied as he shrugged off his coat and hung it on the rack, then removed his boots before heading to the refrigerator and helping himself.

Y/N strolled back to the couch and reclaimed her place near the window that overlooked the ocean. She brought her knees up into her chest and watched Nathan as he moved about the kitchen and the living room just as naturally as he did in the old days. When he finally sat, he took the spot on the opposite end of the same couch she was on and rested his arm along the back of it.

Whenever Y/N and Nathan saw each other while she was visiting this time around, things were always awkward in the beginning. It didn’t matter if it was just for coffee, or on the few occasions that she actually let him take her to dinner. It was almost as if neither of them knew what to do with the situation or what to say to one another. But given enough time, they would end up finding a comfortable conversation.

Some of the time she’d watch him as he talked and recognize the man she used to love; same high cheekbones, same crooked smile, and sandy brown hair. Only now, his hair was short instead of the shoulder length it was when they were younger. His sky blue eyes were still able to lock her in and make her wonder how it had all gone so wrong between them. He had been the love of her life, her prince charming, the man who was going to save her from the kind of life that you grew up promising yourself you’d never live. But it had all gone so, so wrong.

She considered asking him, potentially broaching a long overdue conversation that they needed to have; especially if there was any possibility of a future. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to start. She tried to hide the smile that wanted to come when she wondered what Bri would say about that, but it quickly faded when she realized how much she missed Bri, too. That would make her thoughts circle back around to Austin, again, and how much she longed to go back.

“Hey, haven’t seen these in a long time,” he said and leaned forward, and plucked one of the photo albums from underneath the coffee table.

“Oh, yeah…” she replied and craned her neck over to see which one he picked up. They had been there since she showed Jensen the pictures from Grease, which now felt like a million years ago.

“Holy shit, high school pictures,” he laughed and started flipping through the album.

Over the course of the next hour, Y/N sat a foot or two away, yet enjoyed talking about old times with him. It felt good to laugh with Nathan again; it felt good to have her friend back. She didn’t notice that he was inching closer and closer until suddenly the arm that had been draped around the back of the couch was now brushing against her shoulder.

Nathan continued shaking memories loose; he brought up their junior prom, and how they had spent the night on the beach under the Tiki bar, getting drunk and screwing around until dawn before falling asleep together wrapped up in a blanket. She was smiling at the recollection, enjoying the feeling it brought back into her life when she felt his fingers toying with a tuft of her hair.

“I’ve really missed this,” he said softly. “A lot. I’m glad you’ve let me back in and gave me a chance to make it up to you.”

“Nathan, I… I don’t know--”

He inched closer, and what he did next surprised her. Before she could react, Nathan was brushing his lips against hers. Her eyes stayed open, but his drifted closed. It only lasted for a moment, but in that time Y/N realized that she knew everything she needed to know. She didn’t push him away, even though something inside of her told her too. Y/N kissed him back, but timidly, and without passion. His lips parted against hers, making it clear that he wanted it to escalate, but after a moment, Y/N broke away.

She retreated from him and brought her fingers up, pressing them gently to her lips. “Nathan... “

“Don’t, ok? Don’t say it was a mistake. Just, promise me that you won’t shut down on me. If I was being pushy--”

“It’s not that,” Y/N said and swallowed hard. “I care about your recovery, Nate. Seeing how well you’re doing has even allowed me to start forgiving you. But in the spirit of honesty, you should know that I’m not ready to be with you again. I don’t know if I ever will be. That doesn’t mean there is someone else. It means that I am going back to Austin, and I am focusing on work and don’t want anything sort of romantic entanglements.”

“Oh,” he sighed, clearly disappointed. “That doesn’t mean we have to say goodbye though, right? Can I still call you? Keep in touch?”

“Sure,” she said, and genuinely meant it. “As long as you understand, that, for now, I just want to be your friend.”

She watched him process this and had a second where she didn’t know how he would react. He wasn’t the same Nate she knew most of her life, and yet he wasn’t the last version she knew, either. Nathan was turning into a product of both of those men, and she was still learning his mannerisms and couldn’t always tell what he was going to do.

Nathan made it clear he wanted her back, and this rejection could be dangerous if he wasn’t as far into his recovery as he had said. But once his shoulders relaxed, and he picked his head up to meet her gaze, he smiled more like the Nate of long ago.

“Of course, Y/N. I get it. I’m going to keep showing you that you can trust me again though.”

“You just keep doing what’s best for you, Nate. That’s what would make me the happiest.”

Y/N’s cell began ringing in the with the familiar tone of Robbie’s FaceTime calls. She hesitated to answer it, but also didn’t want to miss out on a chance to talk to him knowing there were some meetings coming up they needed to prep for.

“Excuse me,” she said to Nathan and got up from the couch, pulling the cell out of her pocket as she did.

Y/N moved through the room and stood at the precipice of the hallway as she answered the call.

“Hey Robbie, what’s shakin’?” she answered in greeting.

“Thank God you picked up. When are you coming back, lady? I need you in Austin. I won’t be able to get back to there for another week or so. Any chance you’re heading back soon?”

“I’m working on it Robert,” she replied with a sigh. “The damned snow, however, has other plans.”

“Soon-ish, then?”

“Yes, my darling. Soonish. Honestly, as soon as the airports open up, I’m getting a ticket and will be on my way.”

“Did he tell you that the TCAC meeting was pushed back to the end of February?” Robbie asked into the camera, and the concern she saw on his face made her feel guilty.

“No,” she answered softly.

Her disappointment was not lost on Robbie. He hesitated, not wanting to make her feel worse, though he knew Jensen had been avoiding her. He didn’t have all the details about what happened between them but knew enough to know something had. “He’s been crazy busy, you know. Traveling like a lunatic. I’m sure he just forgot.”

“I’m sure,” she agreed and immediately wanted to change the subject. “So, the grant proposals? Any word?”

“Yes! Actually,” Robbie paused, relieved that she was the one to shift gears and shuffled through some papers that were off screen. He held up two and smiled victoriously. “We got two approvals! One from the Austin Creative Alliance and another just came through yesterday from one of the Federal ones. Buuuttt… can’t seem too…” he drifted off to the side, leaning out of the camera frame again.

Y/N chuckled. “Rob, it’s fine, come on back.”

She shifted away from the wall by the hallway and wandered into the kitchen to put the tea kettle back on the stove. As she did, Rob came back into view and noticed Nathan in the background of her call.

“Oh, hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had company. I won’t keep ya while I look for it.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah… that’s ok. My friend Nate dropped by to be sure I was stocked up for the storm. He’s leaving soon, so if you need to go over more stuff later, I’ll be here.”

“Oh great. The band and I are going in to talk to a guy about some stuff coming up, so maybe I will give you a call later. This way you can be totally caught up before heading back to Austin. Which reminds me… did you make your travel arrangements yet for Boston or San Diego?”

“Yes. I am heading to Boston, San Diego and Seattle starting end of February through March. Couple days in each to secure all the contracts with the vendors. Oh, New Orleans, too.”

“Perfect. That means you’ll be back and able to head to Chicago with us, right? Same weekend as ChiCon? Thought we could meet up there and go check out a few bands.”

“Works for me,” Y/N said, and then realized that there would be no avoiding Jensen that weekend.

“Fantastic, you’re a gem, you know that?”

“Flattery will get you everywhere Robert.”

“Love it when you call me Robert,” he teased. “Ok, they’re yelling for me. I’ll talk to you later!”

“Bye,” she chuckled and ended the video call. She returned the phone to her pocket and continued to fix herself a cup of tea.

“So, work friend?” Nathan asked, getting up from the couch and heading into the kitchen now that her call was through.

“Yes.”

“Nice guy?”

“Yes, he is.”

Nathan nodded, leaned back against the counter and noticed she had only one cup out. “If you wanted me to go, you could just say so. I mean, you told him I was leaving soon. One cup out…”

Y/N sighed softly and tried to not turn the visit sour. “I thought you hated tea? Besides, it’s getting late. As well as things have been between us, I am not ready for you to stay here. With the weather being what it is, you probably should head back to your mom’s. I’m sure she could use your help with your dad being laid up with his foot in a cast. Can’t be easy for her to manage this weather on her own.”

He nodded, though she could see him straining to keep his mouth shut.

“I’m not trying to shut you out, Nathan. I genuinely have enjoyed hanging out with you again. You know, after all that shit happened--with the fight, and your life spiraling out of control--I never thought you’d be you again. Or that I would even be able to stand to be in the same room as you. But, here we are. Can’t that be enough for now?”

Nathan’s shoulders relaxed. “Don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“Not if you want this to continue.” She was blunt, but she needed to be. Y/N didn’t want to take any chances where Nathan was concerned.

“Alright,” he finally replied and pushed off the counter. He went to take his coat off the hook and as he laced his arms through the sleeves, turned to face her again. “I’m grateful you’re giving me another chance, Y/N. I am. So, you call the shots, ok? I know you’re busy, but maybe once your traveling calms down, I can even come to visit you in Austin. Never been to Texas before.”

The idea of him in Austin felt strange. There was a sudden fear that if the two different parts of her life came together like that it would blow up her entire world in some glorious fashion. Trying to neither encourage or discourage the idea of his visit, she simply shrugged, found her most pleasant smile and nodded.

Nathan moved across the kitchen and took her in an embrace before she had the chance to say no. It was a familiar feeling; similar to what one experience when finding an old winter coat they hadn’t worn in years. It may not fit properly anymore, but the quilting of the fabric brought back pleasant memories.

“Call me, ok?” he said before releasing her.

“Sure thing. Take care of yourself, Nate.”

When Nate opened the door to go, the wind whipped through and the day’s fading light allowed him just enough time to get home before going completely dark. When the door latched shut behind him, she felt a mild sense of relief that she was alone again. There were still a lot of things she wanted to have time to mull over before returning to Austin, especially before seeing Jensen again in Chicago. The extended trip home had been good for her, despite the reasons she ended up there. It allowed her time to be sure that Austin and the job were the things she truly loved and wanted in her life.

Even the time she spent with Nate had been helpful in coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t something that had to stand in her way anymore. Her feelings for Jensen were still confusing and muddled, but in her heart, Y/N felt sure that her time as Nate’s girlfriend had come to an end. Though unexpected, the kiss they had shared that night cemented that. She could find room in her heart for him as a friend, but there was no future for them as a couple.

Lost in thoughts, Y/N didn’t move from the counter until the kettle began to whistle behind her. She flipped off the burner, and as she poured the hot water into the cup, she felt determined to settle the Jensen business. With so many of her other uncertainties fading away, she wanted this one too as well. Taking her cell phone back out of her pocket, she went to the contacts in her messaging app and pulled up “Mama”. If anyone could help her sort things out, it would be that tall drink of water.

<<Hey, any chance you’re around once snowmaggedon stops?

It only took about ten seconds for her to respond.

>>I’ve always got time for you, sugar. Whatcha thinkin’?

<<Rehearsal?

>>Cancelled.

<<Damn. Ok, snow should be done by midnight. Coffee at my place in the AM?

>>Be there with bells on.

<<Knowing you, I expect nothing less. Luv u!

>>Back atcha

The following morning dawned bright, with a clear sky and a snowy beach that reflected the colors of sunrise. Mama was knocking on Y/N’s door by quarter past nine, holding a pastry box in one hand and a garment bag in the other.

Y/N opened the door to greet her, and immediately broke out into laughter as she realized that Mama was wearing sleigh bells in her hair.

“You’re a freak,” Y/N laughed and gave the woman a big wet kiss on her cheek. “But you’re my freak.”

“Always and forever,” Mama purred lowly, winking at Y/N as she handed off both the pastry box and bag. “Dear Lord, I have not been here in forever! When was the last time?”

“God… it has to be last spring, maybe. Maybe even Christmas prior.”

“Either way, too long. Though I see you’ve kept the decor fisherman chic. Please, when will you let me redecorate for you?”

“One day, I promise. But for now, I have some things I want to talk to you about.”

Y/N moved around her small kitchen, pouring coffee and unveiling the apple crumb cake Mama brought from Freedman’s Bakery. The smell of apples and cinnamon instantly filled the room and mixed with the aroma of the coffee, Mama began to hum.

“Mmmm MM! It smells good in here. Like a little slice of heaven,” she sighed and pulled out one of the two chairs at the kitchen table. Just as she sat, she gratefully took the hot mug Y/N offered her. “What sort of things do you have on your mind?”

“Well,” Y/N started, then pulled out a seat of her own and began to slice the crumb cake. “I texted you last night because I had something on my mind. However, I couldn’t sleep last night, and I started thinking about work, and had something else entirely to talk to you about.” Y/N was rambling and Mama sensed she was probably already a pot deep into the coffee.

“Honey,” Mama said and covered Y/N’s hands to get them to stop fidgeting with the cake. “Slow down. First things first… what was on your mind last night?”

She hesitated, unsure of how to start. “I didn’t get to tell you because you were in Florida, but I went to a New Year’s party, back in Austin.”

“Ok, sounds fun. Continue,” Mama said and motioned towards her before sipping at her coffee.

“Right. Well, I guess I should start with saying that when I was home for Christmas, Nate showed up here Christmas morning. Then, I went back early so I could go to this party with Jensen. He kissed me at midnight and then I panicked and ran out.”

Mama coughed as she tried to swallow her coffee and then carefully placed the mug back on the table. She grabbed a napkin and wiped at the corners of her mouth like the old southern debutante that she had once been. Once she regained her composure, she sat up straighter and looked Y/N squarely in the eye.

“You best start from the beginning and leave no detail out. Because hearing that you spent an evening with that luscious man is one thing, but also hearing that dickhead’s name in the mix has soured the first bit. Explain yourself, please. What the hell do you mean that Nathan was here on Christmas? Why didn’t you call me?”

“He took me by surprise. He wanted to talk.”

“And you let him in?”

“Yes...” Y/N replied with a sigh, knowing she would get a barrage of crap from Mama for that.

“I’m in shock. After what he did to you!?”

“I know… I just… I don’t know. He wanted to apologize. He’s working the twelve steps--”

“Twelve steps? Ha! Twelve steps…” she muttered. “I didn’t realize you could twelve-step your way out of being a shithead.”

“I know he was terrible then, but for a lot of years he wasn’t and I guess I wanted to know if there was anything good left in him. I saw a glimmer of who he used to be.”

“We need to move on from Nate, cause honey, it just makes my blood boil.”

“Ok, so after he left, I went back to Austin a few days later and went to a party with Jensen. We’ve been getting along great, working together well, and he’s a lot of fun.”

“Yes, he certainly is,” she mused, her expression quickly fading from aggravated to dreamy. “Now I believe you mentioned something about a kiss…”

“He did. WE did… at midnight,” Y/N answered and couldn’t help feeling the twist in her gut that was now associated with that night.

“And?”

“And… it…”

“Y/N?”

She shrugged. “I’ve never felt anything like that. Ever.”

Mama’s face relaxed into a euphoric afterglow. “Please, dear, sweet Lord in Heaven tell me you let that man have his way with you.”

“No!” Y/N laughed and got up from the seat. She was feeling anxious about it all; mostly because she felt so stupid for having run away from him. “It was amazing, and then I got nervous. Someone walked in and it gave me a moment to basically lose my mind and run.”

“You left?!” Mama’s jaw dropped and she quickly stood from the table. “What the--Child, I should whoop your ass. First, you let Nathan in this house, then you run out on that precious Texas boy? It’s like I don’t even know you,” she huffed.

Mama, for a woman of her generous height and weight moved across the kitchen in a heartbeat and lightly smacked the back of Y/N’s head twice.

“One for lettin’ Nathan in, the other for running out on Jensen!”

“Ow,” Y/N whined and rubbed the back of her head. Her brow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Trust me, I wish I knew why I do what I do. One second we were… you know, gettin’ handsy, and the next minute…” she shrugged.

“That son of a bitch Nathan… he was on your mind, wasn’t he?”

“Partially. It was more than that though. I’ve had two relationships in my life, Mama. Two. Nathan, and he who shall not be named.”

“Mmmm, yes. I forgot you had your own Voldemort. But that was what... six months after Nathan left and lasted for less than a month? You can’t count him… especially cause I can’t even remember his name.”

“Whatever, my point is, that both of these relationships were toxic. The last thing I want right now is another go-round with getting my heart broken. I should never have dated after Nathan, so figured I would try a one night stand. It left me so cold and empty. I don’t want that, either. I didn’t want to ruin a good friendship with Jensen, or have it turn toxic.”

“Sug, I get that. But you can’t push your feelings away every time they try and wake you up.”

“Can’t I? I love this job, Mama. I feel like I finally found what I am meant to do. What if we slept together, and it got weird. I wouldn’t be able to work with him. Besides, it’s not even all that happened.”

“What else?” she sighed and rubbed at her temples. “This should have been a Bloody Mary breakfast.”

Y/N ignored her quip. “The next day I told him I wanted to talk. He said he was busy. So I stopped by to drop off some contracts and it turned out he was home. He lied because he didn’t want to talk.”

“That’s why you are back here, instead of living in Austin?”

Y/N nodded and watched with anxiety as Mama seemed to sift through a host of quiet thoughts before deciding how to respond.

“If I didn’t love you as I do... I would smack you again.”

“Why?”

“He lied? So what?! You ran out on him! You know what that’s gonna do to a man’s pride. Hell, anyone’s pride?! Sugar, you… you need to stop lettin’ that heart of yours dictate all your decisions. That man--I spent time with him, ok? I saw how he watched you on that stage. You didn’t. I saw how his face lit up, and that gorgeous grin spread from ear to ear. You mesmerized him.”

Mama took Y/N’s chin between her fingers and lovingly lifted her face so their eyes could meet. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t like that boy.”

“I can’t,” she whispered, almost pathetically. “I do like him. But I’m also very scared of him.”

Mama considered this for a minute and smiled at her friend. “Then, you need to go back to Texas, make amends, and rekindle that friendship you two had been startin’. I think that will be how you stop being so damn scared.”

“I have a flight out tonight,” Y/N said and laughed when Mama raised both fists into the air in celebration.

“That’s my girl!”

“I mean, I won’t see him for a while, but I think you’re right. I owe him an apology. I just hope he can forgive me.”

“I have no doubt that he probably already has. Now, that’s settled… Nat--”

“No. I’ve given him enough thought lately. I’d rather talk about my burst of inspiration that I had last night.”

“Which was?”

“You, the whole troupe… I want you to perform at the festival.”

Mama’s eyes grew large, her plump dimpled cheeks expanding as the smile unfurled across her painted pink lips. “Shut the hell up! Seriously?”

“Yeah. I mean… I am still working out all the logistics, but, we have a few stages to fill and I thought who better than to take on one of the theaters for the Saturday night slot? Whatever you guys wanna do… it’s your call. We have a hotel all reserved for talent, so your accommodations are taken care of. And I am sure I could help you with the travel arrangements. I just need you guys to say yes, and you’re in.”

“Well slap my ass and call me Sally!” Mama cackled and smacked her knee; her southern lilt bolder than usual. “You best believe we’ll be there, suga!”

“Fantastic! I will get you all of the details as soon as I get back to Austin.”

“Well now, hold on one second… you know what’s funny,” Mama said and went into the living room to retrieve the garment bag she had brought with her. “I brought this today because I thought you may want it for something. Didn’t know what, but when Marie brought it into rehearsals last I was there, everyone agreed only you would be able to pull this costume off.”

She hung the hanger on the top door of the refrigerator and slowly unzipped the vinyl bag. Y/N softly gasped when she saw the frock Mama had brought her. It was a full-length strapless dress that had a corset top with a heart-shaped bustier with deep purple accents, streaming out into a black skirt that was shorter in the front and flowed out from the back. The skirt itself had black velvet swirls imprinted on the ebony material and heavily ruffled bottom that would give it an amazing look when it twirled.

“Mama…” she breathed and ran her fingers over the dark purple accents. “This is gorgeous.”

“It is. And in the bottom are the accessories. You have to wear this. At least once. And what a better place than at the festival. So, you agree to perform one number with us, then we will be there to fill your stage for an entire night.”

Y/N considered the offer and knew that she had to say yes. She hadn’t gotten to the point where she thought about her part in performing at the festival. Working behind the scenes had completely garnered all her attention, so this was the first time she gave it any real thought.

“Alright,” she said, “you win. I will take this back to Austin with me and put it aside for a night on stage with The Corsets. Do I get to pick the routine, or…?”

“Oh no, honey. I’m the Creative Director now,” Mama pinched her cheek and took her place back at the table. “Now, don’t think I am done talking about this whole Jensen situation. I wanna hear more details about this New Year’s Eve party…” She leaned back and sipped her coffee before taking a large bite of her crumb cake. “You best start talking.”

For the rest of the morning, Y/N caught Mama up on New Year’s Eve, including playing with Bri, hearing Jensen sing, the encounter with Dee all the way up to her moment in the game room. By the time the coffee was gone and the cake was only crumbs, Mama had heard the tale, soup to nuts, and sat there stunned, letting it all sink in.

They talked a while longer before Y/N realized the time and had to get ready to leave for the airport. Mama had hugged her tightly with both a warning and a promise before she left.

“I promise that we will put on one hell of a show for those Texans. But, in the meantime, stop being stupid and go kiss the cute boy. Let him know that you’re all in, even if it is a slow-moving gamble. You’ll regret it if you don’t. You hear? I’ll keep my promise to whoop you when I get to Austin if you don’t. Got it?”

“Yes, Mama,” Y/N laughed and embraced her again before watching her go out into the cold winter air.

Hours later, as she made her way through the airport and onto the plane, she felt good about going back. There were still a few lingering doubts about how she and Jensen would be with seeing each other again, but there was time to work on that. First, she needed to get back to Austin, her new home, and refocus herself completely on making the Brewfest as big, bold and beautiful as Jensen’s vision for it was. Outside of that, everything would just have to wait.

Much like Y/N expected, there wasn’t much of a chance to see Jensen through the rest of February and March. It was disappointing to her, mostly because she was really starting to miss him. His schedule in Vancouver changed last minute, which caused him to have to miss the Texas Creative Arts Council meeting as well as a few others he had intended to be at, in turn dashing her hopes of finally getting to talk face to face. Her own travel schedule picked up, as she zigzagged across the country meeting with business owners, sponsors, and supporters of the Hometown Brewfest extravaganza.   

The frequency of text exchanges between them increased, and it gave her a glimmer of hope that they could still work through whatever they needed to. As the weeks carried on, and the dates of ChiCon inched closer, Y/N found herself growing more and more anxious about finally having that moment.

Two weeks before, the whole group was in Nashville for a con, while Y/N was wrapping up some last minute business in New Orleans. She was chatting with Rob about a band she found by happenstance, and during the video call, Jensen passed behind him in the background. Her heart lept up in her throat, though she successfully kept her outward demeanor calm and collected. Y/N watched as Jensen did a double take as he noticed her on the screen of Rob’s phone. Leaning over his friend’s shoulder, he shoved his face in the camera and smiled, gave a simple wave and then was called away before he could actually speak.

It was enough to give her that final boost of confidence that they would be ok, but she still desperately needed to clear the air with him. That, however, wouldn’t happen for another two weeks when she found herself pacing the backstage area of the hotel in Chicago where the stars of Supernatural were gathering in preparation for a weekend full of panels, photo ops and a jam-packed concert with Robbie’s band.

Y/N had arrived that Saturday morning well after the festivities had gotten underway. Bri was the first person who she found and was greeted by an over-exuberant hug and the subsequent barrage of questions about everything under the sun. She was quickly whisked away to her panel with Kim, leaving Y/N holding her credentials and aimlessly wandering around the hotel. That was until she found herself on a mission to finally locate and talk to Jensen.

The extra wide hallway of the hotel outside the green room was carpeted with the ugliest yellow, gold and blue carpeting Y/N had ever seen. Though, as she paced it back and forth, she couldn’t take her eyes off of it. Eventually, she found herself pacing along the blue lines that intertwined between the yellow and gold diamond pattern. As ugly as it was, it was somehow keeping her nerves at bay. She could run into Jensen at any time now, and it took all of her willpower not to just turn and run… again.

She wouldn’t though. Her and Jensen needed to set things straight. She didn’t know if this was the way to do it, or what she would say exactly, but she knew it had to be done. Y/N had gotten a peek at his schedule when she checked in and got her credentials to be able to come and go as she pleased. He would be in the green room now, or at least on his way there. So that’s where she headed.

Y/N stalled once she reached the green room door, deciding that maybe just barging in and demanding he talk to her was a bad idea. That’s when the pacing started again and continued for several minutes. She bit on her lower lip and closed her eyes, hanging her head and trying to decide what to do.

She continued walking, but with her eyes closed, she didn’t realize she was walking off her pattern, and straight into oncoming people.

“Whoa there!”

Y/N looked up, and in horrific slow motion, realized she ran square into Jensen’s chest. His hands had gently grabbed her shoulders when they collided, and they lingered there now as recognition touched his features one by one. Seeing him again after so long felt like a shock to her system; her mouth went dry, and she could feel her hands starting to tremble. When she tried to swallow, it stuck like a lump in her throat cutting off the air to her brain and making her feel light headed.

“H-Hey,” she breathed.

“Robbie said you were gonna be here,” he said, then nervously ran his tongue out and over his bottom lip. “It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah,” Y/N agreed, still unsure of what to say. “How’ve you been?” Her words were hesitant and staggered; her gaze unable to break from his.

Jensen finally realized his hands were still on her shoulders and quickly let go.

“Good. Busy, but good. You?”

“Better now that--”

The green room door opened with a bang, startling both Jensen and Y/N. Half a dozen people funneled out, mostly hotel staff, but Robbie was among them.

“Just who I was looking for!” he exclaimed and walked over to them. “You,” he said pointing to Jensen, “have about two minutes before Rich is gonna call you up for your panel with Misha. And you,” he turned to Y/N, “need to come with me while I got a quick ten minutes and figure out where we are going tonight if there’s time. There are a few clubs we gotta hit between tonight and tomorrow.”

“Can you just give us a minute, Rob?” Jensen asked him, and yet, his eyes still didn’t waver from Y/N’s gaze.  

“Uh, sure. I’ll be right over there, Y/N.” He looked hesitantly between them, and quietly stepped back and around the corner.

Jensen cleared his throat and turned back to her, unable to disguise just how nervous he was. “About what happened… I wanna, I mean, we should talk, but I do gotta go right now--”

“Right, of course,“ she said, taking a step back from him and suddenly scared to say what she wanted to. “We can do it another time.”

“Later, you’re scouting bands tonight with Rob? Sounds fun. Maybe if you’re not back too late--”

“Mr. Ackles!”

A small blonde haired woman popped her head from around the other end of the hallway and waved frantically for him to come.

“I gotta run,” he said but took a beat to hold her gaze a little longer. It took the impatient little woman at the end of the hallway calling him again, to get his feet moving.

Jensen took a few steps in the direction he had to go, then turned to face her as he walked backward down the corridor. He chuckled nervously and Y/N felt a rush of relief when she realized he seemed truly happy to see her.

“Don’t go far, okay? The panel only lasts about an hour. Maybe we could talk after?  I’d really like too--”

“Jensen, please, the panel is starting!” The woman was pleading with him now.

“I’ll be around, Hollywood. Come find me,” she shrugged, trying to be calm, cool and casual. Y/N held back as best she could, but Jensen got the idea that she was happy to see him, too.

“You got it, Trix. I’ll come to find you.” The corner of his mouth pulled up into a smirk, and as he continued to walk away from her, Y/N could hear his happy chuckle fade down the hallway. Just before he turned and disappeared completely, he paused and gave Y/N a wink before heading off to his panel.

When he had disappeared around the far corner, she sighed heavily and laughed to herself, completely overcome with relief. A moment later she heard Robbie walk up behind her and clear his throat.

“Everything go ok?” he asked hesitantly.

Y/N nodded. “Yeah,” she said and did her best to stow the overwhelming relief she had over that encounter with Jensen. “I think we’ll be good.”

“Good,” Robbie said and slung his arm over her shoulders. “Now, let’s talk about the weekend, shall we?” He turned her around and guided her in the opposite direction.

The panel, one that he normally loved doing, felt like an eternity on that particular Saturday afternoon. Jensen and Misha answered questions, engaged in their usual banter, and of course, made a room of hundreds of people scream and laugh with delight. He did his best to maintain his normal energetic vibe, but even Misha could see that his mind just wasn’t in the game.

Instead, Jensen’s mind was firmly stuck on Y/N.

She was there, in the same city, in the same hotel just a few hundred feet away. All he wanted to do was go and see her, talk to her, hash this dumb shit out that made them lose three months of getting closer; three months of seeing her smile, hearing her voice and getting to know more about her.

Jensen was pissed at himself for weeks after New Year’s Day. Regardless of whether he had the right to be upset at her or not, he reverted to his petty and childish demeanor, where women were concerned, and he beat himself up for it. His knee jerk reaction to her running out had everything to do with Dee, and not so much Y/N herself. He needed to tell her that’s why he lied about something so stupid to avoid her. Y/N would understand… that’s what made her different.

Y/N had made the effort, hadn’t she? She came to leave the envelope, and in it was her plea to talk to him. She wanted to explain herself, but at that moment he just couldn’t let her. Then she ran back to New Jersey so fast, which initially made him angry. But it didn’t take him long to realize that she’d been through just as much bullshit with her past as he had, and instead of being angry, he should try and sympathize.

Weeks later he happened to talk to Rob who’d mentioned in passing that he had a FaceTime call with Y/N. It had been in the middle of the snowstorm towards the end of January that she told Rob she would be coming back to Austin. That wasn’t all though, was it? As Jensen sat on the panel stage, and half listened to Misha tell a story about his daughter that made the crowd roar with laughter, he was thinking about the guy hanging out with Y/N while she was home; the one Robbie saw in the background that day. As if on cue, he laughed at Misha’s story, joining in with the rest of the ballroom, but on the inside, he was simmering with jealousy.

Jensen wondered if that was the same “old friend” that showed up at her place on Christmas, and of course, couldn’t help but be curious if that guy was part of why she’d run out on him. Swallowing down the bile that rose in his throat, he continued on with his Q&A with the fans and tried to forget it for the time being.

Finally, the panel had come to an end, with it also being their last panel of the day. Misha was escorted to his last set of photo ops, while Jensen was able to head back to the green room, hoping that he would once again bump into Y/N.

The hallway where he had left her was now empty, as was the green room. He considered calling her and asking where she was, but instead texted Rob and asked if they were still together.

<<Hey man, is Y/N still with you?

>>Nah, she went to check a few places out while it was still light out. She’ll be back for SNS.

Jensen sighed and sent back a quick reply, then tucked his phone away and headed back to his own room to get ready for that night’s concert.

Louden Swain took the stage around nine that night. They played through a few of their originals, and then a handful of covers with some of the cast. Jensen knew he’d go up for a couple of songs, but he was holding out until the end so he could catch Y/N.

“Hey handsome,” Bri greeted, coming up alongside where Jensen was sitting, startling him out of his thoughts. “How’d your day go today?”

“Great,” he said with a tired smile. “Long day though. How about you?”

“Oh you know, fantastic. Kim and I kicked ass. Had some great ops… a cocktail or two in between. You know, the usual.”

“That’s my girl,” he teased and then perked up thinking she could help him. “Any chance you’ve seen Y/N around?”

“Yes! Earlier today when she first came in, then about five minutes ago. She’ll be here in a second, why? Got something you need to say to her? Hmmmm?” Bri raised one perfectly manicured brow at him, challenging him to open up a bit more.

“Yes. Actually, I do.”

“Good boy. I know she wants to talk to you too--” From the stage, Bri heard her cue to go up with Robbie for her song. “Look, she’s around. Talk. To. Her. Then, keep her close, I’m gonna need her.” She wiggled her brows and stuck her tongue out playfully before bounding up the short set of steps that would take her backstage.

Jensen chuckled as she disappeared behind the curtain and out to the roar of applause from the crowd. He tried to think of what he would be doing that night with the band. Jason was playing too, and they talked about The Joker and maybe Whipping Post. He closed his eyes and ran through both songs, half hearing Robbie and Bri singing “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” coming from the stage. He certainly didn’t hear Y/N and she came from around the corner and stood in front of him.

“Hey stranger,” she said softly. Despite the music coming from close behind him, he heard her perfectly.

Jensen opened his eyes and thought maybe he was just imagining her there. She looked different than she had earlier. Gone was her T-shirt and ripped jeans, a look that he really loved on her. Now she wore the tight blue jeans and knee-high boots with a black and white, long sleeve peasant-style blouse that was loosely tied at the neck and open enough to accentuate her cleavage. Jensen had a split-second thought about what she had on beneath it before he was able to make himself speak again.

“Hey yourself,” he breathed, standing up from the platform he was sitting on. “How’s your, uh, you know, how’s it--”

“I’m good, Jay. Robbie asked me to come back for the concert. Glad you stuck around. Are you going up there tonight?”

Jensen nodded, suddenly tongue-tied and unsure of what to say.

“They sound great,” Y/N motioned towards the stage and took a few steps closer. “That’s a great song.”

“It is,” he said, but needed to say more and was tired of waiting. “Y/N,” he paused and waited for her to face him. She did, and he could tell she knew what he was about to say. “About New Year’s…”

“Jay, wait. Before you say anything… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for running away like I did. I shouldn’t have--”

“It's okay. I shouldn’t have lied about the stupid movie. It was all so…”

“Stupid?”

“Childish. I guess I could give you a laundry list of reasons--”

“But they wouldn’t matter,” she said quietly and cast her gaze down to her feet. When she looked up at him again, he saw something in her face that made him relax and understand she wanted to move on as badly as he did.

“Yeah. Can we just,” he sighed and shrugged, “just get back to being friends?”

“Yes. I want that, more than anything,” she sighed in relief.

“Good,” he breathed and took a hesitant step closer to her. Y/N stepped in and put her arms around his neck to hug him. Though it took him by surprise, he didn’t waste a second in returning the embrace. She felt so good in his arms as they snaked their way around her waist. It took a lot of willpower on his part to stop himself from nuzzling his face into her neck and drawing in a deep breath of her scent.

From the stage, the music shifted and while the band kept playing, Bri popped her head through the curtain and saw Y/N with Jensen.

“Hate to break up this very much needed moment, but Y/N, I need you up here please.”

Jensen reluctantly released her and saw the scheming look in Briana’s eyes. He narrowed his gaze at her, and she just slyly winked. “Come on slowpoke! They’re waiting.”

“Who’s waiting?” she asked, looking curiously between Jensen and Bri.

“Everyone…” Bri replied and swept back the curtain so Y/N could see the audience.

“What? Oh no, I didn’t--I’m not--”

“You are, and you can. Come on, lady! Time to get your cute little ass up here and sing on stage with me and Robbie.”

Y/N looked to Jensen to save her, but he just shook his head. “Oh no, I’m with Bri on this one. Like I’d ever pass up a chance to watch you on stage.”

Realizing she was being ganged up on, Y/N sighed as her chin fell to her chest in defeat and she made her way up the small set of stairs. “I hate you both,” she chided and both Bri and Jensen rolled their eyes.

Jensen watched from backstage as she got up next to Robbie who was on the mic and introduced Y/N to the crowd. When he spoke about the Brewfest the crowd cheered, and it was the first time Jensen understood just how much work she’d been putting into it, not just into organizing things, but getting the word out to the public about the upcoming event.

Robbie leaned over and whispered something in her ear, Y/N nodded and faced the crowd, giving them a wave. Jensen saw how they seemed to love her already and they hadn’t even heard her sing yet. Robbie faced the band and signaled the next song as the familiar beat of Heart’s “What About Love” kicked in.

Y/N started to sing, and Jensen felt his knees go weak. It had been a while, too long he would say if someone had asked him since he had heard her sing. She fell right into the groove with the band, completely unaware of how sexy and majestic she was on the stage. Bri was beside her, sharing the verses and singing harmonies together. They blended effortlessly with Robbie’s voice, too. Y/N held the notes and used her strong bravado to carry them out, once again making the crowd go wild.

Hints of jealousy filled Jensen, but not because of the reaction she was garnering, but because he wasn’t on stage next to her. How could he have not sung with her yet? At least strummed a guitar while she sat across from him, her tender pitch humming along with whatever he was playing. It suddenly became of utmost importance to him to share a stage with her, but for now, he just hung back and relished in the way her voice made him feel. Anyone that saw him watching her would know that he was so clearly infatuated with this girl, and almost nothing would have pulled him away.  

As the song wound towards the end, Jason breezed past Jensen, smacking his shoulder along the way.

“Almost ready, brother? Gonna kick it off with ‘The Joker’, right?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah! Just like we said, call me in when you’re ready.”

“You got it!” Jason replied before running out on the stage.

Jason handled the first chorus, and during the musical interlude, he brought Jensen up and he easily slipped into the version of himself he brought out on the Saturday Night Specials. He noticed that Briana and Y/N were still up there, yet off towards stage right, and singing along with the chorus of the song. Jensen casually strolled in their direction, just feeling the need to be as close to Y/N as possible. The moment the music came back around to where he picked up the song, happened to be the same moment that Jensen walked around behind her, then was at her side. Without giving it a second thought, he draped his arm around her shoulders and sang the lines directly to her… their eyes locked as if he was speaking solely to Y/N and not to a room of hundreds of people.

“You’re the cutest thing I ever did see…

Really love your peaches wanna shake your tree

Lovey-dovey lovey-dovey lovey-dovey all the time...

Oooey baby I sure show you a good time…”

The song played on, and eventually, he moved back across the stage and sang out to the crowd. But the expression that came to rest on her face was not something he would ever forget. He caught glimpses of her smiling as her eyes followed across the stage. He liked how it felt for her to watch him; he felt uninhibited and free to be himself.

When it was over, he was disappointed as Bri grabbed Y/N’s hand now that their turn on stage was done. They waved to the audience and the band transitioned into “Whipping Post” while they exited through the back.

As Jensen belted out line after line of The Allman Brothers song, he wished Y/N had stayed out there with them and secretly hoped she was watching from backstage. Thank God he was singing a song he knew without having to think about because all his mind could really focus on was how good it felt to have her back around. At that moment, Jensen had felt better than he had in a very long time. 

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[theangelwrites]

Voidwalker - A work in progress

Genre: Adult Fantasy

POV: Third Person Limited, multiple perspectives (Six, to be exact.)

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Finally, I think it’s time to make an introduction post on here for my current story, Voidwalker. A working title, likely to change some point in the future. I’m working on the first draft after starting this maddening thing for NaNoWriMo 2019, and it’s become the biggest story I’ve written. So, here goes!

Synopsis: (also a work in progress, something I barfed out one night when telling my friends what I was writing.)

A civil war is brewing in Esharis between the queen and her older brother. One year ago, after building an army of his own, the ruthless traitor prince wiped out the wardens, a warning and a promise of his power. 

Along with the wardens, the rarest elementalists known as Voidwalkers and Fatebringers were tracked down and murdered, hope broken within the country. With the threat of this power over their heads, many of those not in tune to the elements turn to his side, joining the ranks of the anti-elementalist order standing at his command.

Ren Vishar was the sole survivor of the massacre, and now lives as one of just three wardens set to replace those lost. Ren is the last Voidwalker. The Fatebringers were wiped out, the great clerics and holy warriors that came with their powers of time and light snuffed out in a pool of crimson.

A vengeance stirs within Ren as tensions grow, the coming of Winter’s Call masking the start of dark dealings in the city of Fane. With the help of his fellow wardens, the royal spymaster, and a cocky bounty hunter with a mysterious connection to the elements, he must try to stop the war before it begins, or prepare for a battle.

If Ren is to stop more blood from being spilled, he must trust in those close to him, and form bonds he never dreamed he’d be able to find again. With the Void at his fingertips, he hopes it will be enough.

World and character introductions below!

World:

I’ve been writing in this fantasy world of mine, Zestra, for so many years. It’s been a labour of love, and it’s ever growing. Voidwalker is set in a country named Esharis, in a city named Fane.

Esharis is cut off from the likes of arcane magic that rules the world, rather a hub for elemental magic, where the veil between the waking world and the elemental planes is thinnest. This lead to its inhabitants being versed in elemental magic, the gods of Void and Fate a common guide of worship.

Fane is Esharis’ capital city, home to many elementalists in and out of the city walls. The castle overlooks the whole city, its tall towers to be seen for miles around, surrounded by rolling hills and dense forests. The story is set within the city, the characters running amok through the districts and the slums, exploring the secrets the old city has to give.

Perspective Characters:

Ren Vishar  The last Voidwalker, a warden who’s powerful disposition and obsession with elementals gained him a plush station as the queen’s personal guard, to which he soon gave up in favour of becoming a warden and helping his city. After losing the rest of the wardens, along with the most powerful elementalists in the country, Ren must now carry that weight on his scarred shoulders.

Sterling Thorne  A bounty hunter with powerful elemental magic that she can’t use, running from a past she’d rather forget about, that is until she runs into some of the most powerful people in the country, and suddenly finds herself thrust into a world of magic and war, her past catching up to her.

General Aloysius Farrington  The Fire Warden and the country’s general, standing at the side of Queen Auradea since she was crowned. A man who never sleeps, his work is his life, the vow he made to protect his queen and his country hanging over his head like a banner of pride. He will keep that vow, even if it means mastering forbidden magic to do so.

Isa Dethaine  Soon to begin her warden training, Isa grew up in the shadow of a man who hated everything she represented. Her father, Dorian Dethaine, is the traitor prince, and for good reason. After fleeing his hands and finding her way to her aunt in the capital city, Isa hopes to finally be who she truly is, and is determined to become a warden to protect people like her from the likes of her father.

Jiya ‘Shade’ Kimura  The royal spymaster, a loyal friend to the queen and wrangler of wardens. In what free time she can catch, Shade runs a fighting arena in the city, a guild of bounty hunters at her beck and call. Seemingly the only person in the castle without elemental powers, she relies on her wit and her revolvers to do her job, as well as a love for poisons - lethal or otherwise.

Caliana Anastas  The Arcane Warden, the first of her kind. Esharis has very few ties to arcane magic, but after many years of keeping arcanists in its capital, Caliana was instated as a warden due to her vast work with bringing arcane magic to the island, developing enchantments for the crown. With her family in the distant country of Gescen, she had found a second family in the castle, but try as she must, she begins to realize that she cannot keep them all safe.

Other Notable Characters:

Keis Buchanan  A young man of many talents, Keis works as a bounty hunter and a fighter in Shade’s arena, as well as a blacksmith’s apprentice. Growing up on a farm in the outer slums of the city was always a challenge, but one he rose to, honing his fighting skills and his thievery before making his way to the city. As much as Shade tries to entice him into her guild of spies, he knows his mother would end him, though that doesn’t stop him from accompanying her on the occasional job.

Auradea Victoria Dethaine  Young queen of Esharis, the pride and joy of her late father. Aura was bestowed the crown shortly after his death, the title passing her older brother, a traitor to their country. Her coronation caused quite a stir within the city, grumbles of tradition beneath the city’s breaths. Even becoming queen at a young age, Aura has spent her years proving her worth, relying on her wardens and her demanding yet loyal council to build her country higher than ever before, making new ties with the surrounding kingdoms and bringing new magic to the land. She hopes to keep her promises to her country, and to her father.

Dorian Dethaine  The Traitor Prince, they called him, the only one in the Dethaine bloodline with no ties to the elements, who lashed out by becoming a drunkard, besmirching the Dethaine name up until the day his father announced that his sister would take the crown upon his death. With the Order of Grace at his side, he’ll take back what is his, and be rid of anyone in his way.

That’s about it, for now! Just a little introduction post for the story that has its hold over my heart right now. It’s my first kind of post like this, so please be kind, I’m usually a big lurker. Thank you!