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slasher-smasher · 9 months ago

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Beyond the Bad Room - The Aches We Feel

Overall I am happy with how Cassidy was written but the interaction with HL I struggled lol. I deeply apologize for the flip flopping of POVs near the end. Dialog and getting into character are not my strong suits. Getting better though. :) Hopefully the whiplash isn't to bad.

I also have come to realize that the timeline is super fucked. I was under the impression that his b-day speech took place in Feb on the 22nd. BUT I must of gotten mixed up because it was actually in July lol. oops. Oh well. Thanks @blindmagdalena correcting my misinformation.

This is not beta'd. All mistakes are due to my lack paying attention in school.

THANK YOU TO THE ONES WHO LiKE AND ARE HOPEFULLY ENJOYING MY WRITING!! You guys seriously help my brain and heart.

AO3 for easier reading and for previous chapters.

Warnings: Emotional and physical cheating, emotional manipulation, unprotected p in v sex, really bad smut scenes because the author is a loser who can't write porn 🥲, probably OOC Homelander, possessive behavior, Homelander is his own warning.

Words: 7,119

Chapter Summary: Cassidy thinks about the past year and with her relationship with Ian growing more brittle as days go by her loneliness increases. She misses John terribly and the life he brought into her day with his charming smiles and jokes. She was on the brink of desperation till she learned some shocking news and watched his speech on the television that she finally decides to bite the bullet and go visit him. Even if he still hates her.

Chapter 4

It had been a strange and tumultuous year for Cassidy. After her confrontation with John, she felt like a shell of her former self. The following morning, she woke up feeling drained and dried out from all the tears and breakdowns she had before finally passing out. She couldn't help but cringe at the sight of her broken marble countertop; she knew she needed to control her anger better.

After quickly having the counter repaired in time before Ian came home, she felt like a part of her had been altered or even destroyed. John's departure felt like he had used lasers on her heart to cut himself free. The impact of his leaving was overwhelming and worrisome for Cassidy. She had developed a close bond with John, but his absence shouldn't leave her feeling so empty inside. In an attempt to distract herself, she focused on work and her relationship with Ian now that she had more time without John's frequent visits to her workplace. However, as Ian began leaving for longer periods of time, Cassidy struggled to make their relationship grow. His absence only made her feel more lonely.

She felt awful. Everyone at work carried on with their daily routines, oblivious to her personal struggles. Work was the only stable aspect of her life now. Don't get her wrong, she still enjoyed her job, but she longed for more personal connections. Meeting new people and engaging in conversations was not her strong suit; she often came off as quirky or awkward. It was difficult for her when people tried to get to know her better, especially when she was trying so hard to appear normal and not reveal her true identity as a centenarian supe with PTSD.

She kept reminding herself to ignore the TV during her rounds and not even glance at it. But every time she heard his voice, she couldn't resist taking a peek. She wanted to know how he was coping with everything. He must be struggling with the backlash of being in a relationship with a Nazi. Every time someone asked him the same question over and over, another crack appeared in his façade. Part of her wanted to judge and condemn him for his choices, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. At the end of the day, he was just a man who fell in love with a woman. She believed that John truly thought he could change Karla. He wanted a family so badly that he convinced himself her past and beliefs didn't matter and would do anything to make that dream come true.

It was the later months that were bizarre. Not only was she missing her favorite perfume, but her neighbors were suddenly scarce when they normally would be greeting her with a friendly hello as she runs into them when checking mail or on her way to work in the morning. Now when she does see them, they mutter a quiet greeting not even making eye contact. The only thing that made her brush off her concern was when Ian was home. She didn't understand why he was so busy all the time now but when he did come home she put most of her attention into being with him. Though even when they made love it seemed like he wasn't completely there with her either.

The loneliness was the driving force behind her resorting to self-pleasure. She felt like she was losing her sanity as thoughts and fantasies of John invaded her mind while she touched herself in bed or in the shower. Her craving for intimacy and connection, combined with John's scent she finds herself immersed in all over her bed that she knows she is hallucinating leading to moments of release that end in tears of shame. How could she betray Ian like this, and even worse, use John in such a way when he wanted nothing to do with her? There was no excuse for her actions.

February was the cherry on top of the cake. Every other day, she would find her favorite tea perfectly made and a breakfast bagel waiting for her. And then there were sweet and funny notes tied to roses and sweets left on her desk. Her coworkers thought it was Ian's romantic gestures for Valentine's season, and she blushed at the idea that he was making an effort. But when she saw what was left on her desk on Valentine's Day morning, she realized it wasn't him. While flowers may not be anything special to some on this supposedly most romantic day of the year, these were no ordinary flowers. They were rare and difficult to grow, making them even more meaningful.

Himalayan Blue Poppies

Ian or anyone else could never understand the significance these flowers held for her. Who would have guessed? These were the same flowers her mother used to lovingly tend to when she was a little girl, always saying they reminded her of Cassidy's bright blue eyes. Despite all the hard work it took to make them thrive, it was always worth it when she could place them in her daughter's hair and see her face light up with a smile.

Cassidy felt tears well up in her eyes. Who—

Then the answer struck her like a bolt of lightning.

John.

He was the only one who knew about them. But he was just a child when she first brought them along, and he always thought they were silly to keep around. Why would he leave these here now, especially on Valentine's Day? The small tokens of endearment suddenly took on a new significance as her thoughts raced through possible reasons for his sudden appearance after an entire year of silence, or at least mostly silence. What could he possibly be trying to do?

Abby, the chief nurse, called out from the doorway. "Wow, those flowers are stunning! Bishop, you're a lucky woman. I wish my partner was as romantic as yours."

"Yeah...lucky." Cassidy absentmindedly acknowledged. She was so lost in a whirlwind of confusion and frustration. But there was also a strong feeling that made her cheeks warm. Affection.

A week later Cassidy was at home reading the latest medical journal magazine while Ian was watching the news. Letting out a noise of displeasure as he tossed the remote on the coffee table in front of him after muting the tv.

"I am beyond fed up with this incessant talk about Homelanders damn birthday celebration. It's the same damn thing every freaking year. We're supposed to worship him just because he's a superhuman jerk? Please. Vought is nothing but a corrupt organization, and they let these supes do whatever the hell they want. It's revolting." Ian slammed his hands down on the table in frustration, letting out an exasperated groan.

Cassidy was about to tell him to not take his frustrations out on the furniture even if she agreed about Vought when she saw the headline over the muted news anchor.

"Turn the sound back on Ian." Cassidy quickly closed her magazine, eyes glued to the screen.

"What? Why?" Ian did as he was told and was shocked as the anchors voice revealed that Stormfront has committed suicide.

"Holy fucking balls." Cassidy could only watch as the leaked footage of EMT's were transporting a body bag into the ambulance.

"Maybe it's fake?" Ian asked while fishing out his phone from his pocket.

"They wouldn't fake this. Especially on Jo-Homelanders birthday." Cassidy quickly covered her slip up. She would have thought to feel happiness or excitement over the fact that the bitch is finally dead and gone. But she only felt sadness. Not over Klaras death, bloody hell no. She was thinking about how John is taking the news. Were they still together? He claimed to have loved her so this would be a huge blow. God why can't he just get a break?

Ian left to make a phone call as Cassidy sat there trying to organize her thoughts and conflicted and muddled feelings.

That night as Ian was washing dishes after dinner Cassidy flicked on the tv to show the celebration. She needed to see. Even if he was just acting. She ignored Ian's scoff as she sat down on the couch.

Luckily, she arrived after Supersonic's musical opener. She observed A-Train, clad in a confusing outfit, welcoming the new co-captains to the stage - the fact that there were now two amazed her. Cassidy took a deep breath and leaned forward slightly, hoping for a better view. He seemed fine, smiling a the camera, engaging with Starlight when appropriate. As Starlight wished him a happy birthday and introduced her cause, Cassidy lost interest and focused on John. When an audience member shouted about his Nazi being dead, she witnessed as his composure shattered. He took charge of the stage, venting and boasting about how he is superior in every way.

She sensed his intense fury and his exhaustion with being manipulated through the television screen. This was where he thrived, captivating audiences with his fervor and charm. As far as breakdowns go, this was one of the most contained ones she had seen from him. She couldn't help but feel proud of him. His typical breakdowns often resulted in casualties and destroyed structures.

Ian left for work, claiming to have new information about Karla's death. He seemed ashamed for breaking his promise to stick around he made on their Valentine's date. Cassidy didn't feel as hurt anymore. She smiled, kissed him, and reassured him she wasn't upset. She was going for a run anyway, so it wasn't a problem.

Technically she was planning on going for a run but the idea of visiting John at the tower was incredibly tempting. She needed an explanation for the gifts and flowers. She could at least tell him she was proud of him for standing up for himself.

The lobby of the tower was quiet and deserted, as it was late at night. She scurried across the entrance, her thoughts filled with regret for not planning this better. She cursed herself for being so eager to see him one more time. How was she going to get past security? She couldn't simply walk up and say, "I'm a friend of Homelander's, let me in." She mentally berated herself for her foolishness.

The disinterested looking security guard gave her a blank look as he asked for ID.

Cassidy fumbled with her bag to retrieve the item as she thought of what to say when they asked for her reason to be here, this late at night.

She handed over her card, the guard swiftly sliding it through a scanner.

"Oh. You're on the VIP list Dr. Bishop," The guard read the screen, surprise coloring his voice. "Please use this elevator to head on up. Homelander is on the ninety-ninth floor. Have a nice night." The guard looked slightly less bored as he handed back her ID.

"Uhh, thanks." Cassidy replied as she awkwardly headed to the elevators the guard indicated to.

VIP? John put me on a list? Did he forget to take it off when he left? ,she thought as she pressed the shiny button to the correct floor.

She had enough questions about John to fill several books. This man just might be the death of her.

As she arrived on ninety-nine she once again felt stupid for not asking where his apartment was located. The tower was huge, housing many supes on one floor.

She debated on going back down and asking for clarification but luckily one of Johns teammates walked by as Cassidy peaked around a corner. It was Queen Maeve.

"Umm 'ello? Is it possible for you to show me where Homelanders' apartment is? I am kinda lost in this maze." Cassidy gave Maeve a wobbly smile as she clenched her hands onto the sleeves of her pink oversized sweater. After a moment Cassidy didn't think the woman was going to help her since she just stared. Then Maeve lifted her arm to point to the direction Cassidy needed to go.

Giving her thanks and heading towards that way she heard Maeve mutter "Great. Another Brit." as she walked away.

Another? Well I guess that isn't strange. She meets all sorts of people, she thought as she walked up to huge double doors.

Her heart started to pound as she stopped and stared at the solid wood. She wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it from inside. She rose her fist, raping softly on the door. When she didn't hear anything, she tried again but with more force. Still no answer. Maybe he is still at the celebration? She doubted it, after his outburst but where else would he be?

This would be the time that she should cut her loss and head back home but the burning need for answers and to see him up close after so long was too strong. Steeling herself she tried the door to find it unlocked.

Why would the world's most terrifying supe need to have locked doors?, she mused.

She hesitated for a moment, then pushed the door open and stepped inside the spacious apartment. The first thing that struck her was the lack of any personal items. There were no family photos, no mementos, no signs of personality at all. It was as if no one lived here — or rather, as if the person who did live here wanted nothing to do with his personal life. The huge room was more like a museum than a home. She didn't understand how a place can have so much in it while still looking painfully sterile.

Cassidy couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as she walked through the empty apartment. It made her wonder what kind of life John led when he was alone. Was this what he wanted, or was it just a matter of necessity due to the brand that Vought exerts on its supes?

She couldn't shake the sadness that weighed down her heart. She walked over to the attached balcony that faced the city, hoping to catch a glimpse of the nighttime skyline. Hopefully he would see her when he flew home as she stood there, taking in the twinkling lights below.

Homelander didn't even bother with waiting until the very end of the celebration special when he took off into the sky. He felt like the world was closing in on him after finally letting out all the built up frustration and anger with every fucking thing. He WAS better. He didn't need some fucking corporate prick tell him what to do. He was a god damned gift to earth. They should be bowing down to HIM.

Lost in his own thoughts, Homelander almost didn't notice Ian's car speeding off as if there was an emergency. Homelander flew off to Cassidy's apartment faster. With her being alone, it was the perfect chance for him to "reunite" with her. However, his plan was thwarted when he found out she wasn't there. It annoyed and disappointed him to realize she was absent from the lack of a heartbeat in the apartment.

Where in the fuck could she be this late? She better not be on a stupid fucking run. I swear I'm going to tie her to the god damned bed , he panicked as he flew to her usual place she liked to run.

Not finding her after a quick zip through the park just bolstered him into a borderline hysteria. He hated that he didn't know where she was. She could have been taken and maybe she left the country again.

No. No she wouldn’t do that. Not again. Not to me.

Scenarios ran through his head, getting worse than the last. He flew up to his balcony at Vought Tower ready to tear apart his penthouse with his wrath when he was hit by a scent that always immediately calmed him. It wasn't her usual scent due to him keeping the little bottle safely in a drawer that was right next to his bed but it affected him the same. The revolving supply of panties due to losing her mouthwatering taste and smell helped him get off on nights he couldn't visit.

Homelander whipped his head around the large open area to find her, just to see a balled up pink puff on the large couch in front of his massive tv. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and walked over to her. She lay there, her brown locks spread across her arms that were serving as a makeshift pillow. Her legs were tucked into her oversized sweater, trying to keep warm in the chilly room. He couldn't help but smile at how adorable she looked, like a fluffy little puffball. The cold never bothered him, but he was glad she was cozy and comfortable.

What was she doing here? Not that he was complaining. Something deep inside of him purred at the fact that she felt safe in his home enough that she fell asleep. Was she waiting for him? How long was she here? He wanted to wake her up for answers but he also saw the chance to see her up close and vulnerable.

He removed his gloves and lowered himself quietly beside her. He could hear the steady rhythm of her heartbeat and feel the soft exhalations brushing against his cheek as she breathed. Her face was so close that he had to resist the urge to kiss her, like a prince waking his princess in a fairytale. He took a moment to study her peaceful expression, imagining what it would be like to have her next to him every night and morning, as his own when they were finally together.

With a deep breath, Homelander reached out and gently brushed the side of her face, his fingers reverberating with the rhythm of her heart. He brushed a stray lock of hair off her forehead, his fingers lingering for a second longer than necessary.

He cleared his throat, trying to sound gentle and reassuring as he whispered her name. "Cassidy, wake up kitten..." he said, stroking her hair with his fingers. She was so close to him, her body trembled at the sound of his voice. Her lavender eyes fluttered open, her gaze cloudy and confused.

"John?" she murmured, her voice hoarse and sleepy. “Oh balls. I fell asleep.”

Homelander stood up as she took her legs out of her cocoon and sat up straight on the couch. Her face dusted with a light blush as she combed her wild hair in embarrassment.

"I didn't mean to. I was planning on waiting for you till you got home but I guess I was more tired than I thought." She explained as nervously glanced at his face to see how upset he was but was relieved to see a small smile on his face.

What she didn't mention was the scent of him when she sat down felt like felt like it pulled all the exhaustion from stress and the past months to the surface and she couldn't help but rest her head on the plush arm of the couch. She was out like a light.

Homelander settled onto the couch, as Cassidy fidgeted with the hem of her sweater, gathering the courage to bring up the argument they had. But before she could speak, Homelander let out a heavy sigh.

"It's okay, Kitten," he said softly, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her blush darkening from the pet name. "I really missed you." His voice was filled with an tenderness that made Cassidy's heart flutter.

As she looked into his piercing blue eyes, Cassidy felt a rush of emotions swirling inside her. She knew they needed to talk about what had happened between them, about the hurtful words that had been exchanged. But right now, in this quiet moment with him, all she wanted was to bask in his presence and forget about their troubles.

Homelander sensed the turmoil in Cassidy's eyes and decided to steer the conversation away from what he knew she wanted to have.

"You know, my life is really going to shit lately," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability.

Cassidy's brows furrowed in surprise. She hadn't expected him to open up so easily. "What do you mean?" she asked softly, curiosity lacing her words.

Homelander ran a hand through his hair, looking out into the dimly lit room. "Everything feels like it's falling apart. The pressure from Vought, the public scrutiny...it's suffocating." He turned to her, his gaze searching hers for understanding.

"I saw your speech," Cassidy said while turning her body to face him. "I was pretty impressed that you didn’t burn the whole building down.”

Homelander let out a hollow chuckle at her attempt to lighten the mood. "I thought about it," he admitted with a wry smile, but his expression quickly turned serious again. "Sometimes...sometimes I feel like I'm just a puppet on strings, dancing to Vought's tune. And no matter what I do, it's never enough. Then when I actually do something, I am persecuted for it."

He shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, there will always be those who fear me, who want to tear me down. It's like I'm constantly fighting against the world." Tears welled up in Homelander's eyes, his facade of invincibility crumbling before Cassidy's eyes.

She reached out and placed a comforting hand on his arm, her touch gentle and reassuring. "I can't even imagine how difficult that must be for you," she said softly, her heart aching for the turmoil he was going through.

They sat in silence for a moment until Cassidy slid the hand that was on his arm down and turned his hand so she could settle her palm against his warm one. She looked into his eyes as she took a deep breath.

Cassidy didn't want to argue again, so she carefully chose her words. "I'm not sorry she's gone, but I am sorry for the hurt it caused you." Her hand was held tight by his as he gave a comforting squeeze, understanding exactly who she was referring to.

Her voice trembles with emotion as she reaches out to touch his face, her unwavering gaze burning into his soul. "You are not alone, John," she whispers fiercely. "I know you're incredibly strong, and I'm not drawn to you because you're broken. I am here because I care for you in a way that I have never cared for anyone else before. This past year without you has been god awful and difficult."

He brought her hand to his lips and pressed a tender kiss against her knuckles, his heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and longing. "It’s always been you Cassidy," he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. “I missed you so much too. Everyone who claims to love me always come with ulterior fucking motives but not you.”

Cassidy's breath caught in her throat as she felt the warmth of his lips on her skin, sending shivers down her spine. She gazed at him, her heart overflowing with a newfound sense of closeness and understanding. In that moment, all the tension and uncertainty that had clouded their relationship seemed to dissipate, leaving behind only a deep connection that bound them together.

Their eyes locked in an unspoken agreement, a silent promise of mutual support and comfort. Cassidy could feel a whirlwind of conflicting feelings churning within her—loyalty to Ian, affection for John, and the overwhelming fear of making a choice that would shatter someone's heart. As they sat there, hands intertwined, a sense of peace washed over her, a sense of belonging that she had been missing for so long.

Without breaking eye contact, Homelander reached out to cup Cassidy's face in his hands, his touch gentle yet possessive. His thumb traced her cheekbone, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Cassidy closed her eyes at the sensation, almost letting herself surrender to the moment but there was one thing that she needed an answer to before she destroyed the trust in a good man who she thought held her heart.

“How did you know those flowers were my favorite?” She asked as she opened her eyes and furrowed her brows.

Homelander blinked in surprise at the sudden and unexpected question. He furrowed his brow, trying to make sense of it before realizing what she was asking. Without hesitation, he pulled her onto his lap, not wanting to stay in the uncomfortable position they were in. His hands returned to her face which had now turned pink and heated.

“You kept bringing them in for months. The same flower every time. I wasn’t exactly sure they were your favorite but I knew you really liked them.” Homelander gave her a hesitant smile. Worried that he got it wrong and the flowers were a mistake.

“They are. My favorite, I mean. My mum used to grow them and they remind me of her.” Cassidy reassured him with a smile of her own. She never talked about her mother before. “I’ll tell you more about her later. Thank you and I loved them”

Homelander's eyes softened at the knowledge that his small gesture had meant so much to her. "I'm glad," was all he said, feeling a sense of pride.

Reaching up, she gently placed her hands on his shoulders, leaning her face towards his. Their eyes locked in a passionate embrace, his gaze never leaving hers. He could feel her breath on his lips, and the anticipation was almost too much to bear. Taking a deep breath, he closed the gap between them, their lips finally meeting in a tender, exploratory kiss.

As their lips touched, Cassidy felt a surge of electricity course through her entire body, like nothing she had ever experienced before. Her hands gripped his suit, pulling him closer to her as their tongues danced and explored each other's mouths. He could taste the peaches that she had earlier, and it only added to the passion that was rapidly building between them.

The months of lack of touch made her desperate for his growing passion. She felt his hands slide down her neck and shoulders to find their way under her sweater and top to feel the warm flesh of her sides.

Cassidy let out a small sound of pleasure as his hands explored her skin, sending shivers down her spine. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer, wanting to feel every inch of him against her. He responded by sliding his hands over her waist, feeling the curve of her hips and the softness of her stomach before reaching around to unclasp her bra, loosening their binding.

His fingers grazed the sensitive skin of her back, making her shiver once again. He gently cupped her breasts in his hands, his thumbs brushing over her nipples, eliciting a soft moan from her. Homelander couldn't believe how much he had yearned for this moment, and now that it was happening, he knew it was everything he had been dreaming of and more.

Cassidy leaned in to place suckling kisses along his neck as he tilted his head back, closing his eyes and letting out a deep groan as she pressed against his growing arousal through their clothes. Despite the layers of fabric between them, it was an incredible feeling.

“F-fuck, I can smell you. So fucking soaked.” He commented through clenched teeth.

Cassidy flushed at the sudden vulgarity that seeped into his voice, feeling a wave of arousal crash over her. He was right, she was drenched, her core tightening in anticipation of the pleasure that was to come. She pulled back enough to look into his eyes, just pools of black with thin blue rings around them.

"I want to feel you," she whispered, her voice barely audible under heavy breaths. Her hands tugged at the opening of the top of his suit.

Homelander felt a surge of anxiety, his heart racing faster than it had in years. “W-wait, Kitten,” he managed to gasp out, his voice shaky. “I… I don’t really… I’m not like…”

Cassidy paused, her hand still clutching the fabric. She cupped his face with the other, making him look at her while she tried to sound heartfelt as she could, “ John, I know. It doesn’t take away how attracted I am to you. You’re perfect. I want to feel the real you.”

She leans forward to place soft kisses on his forehead and cheeks then parting with a quick but deep kiss before pulling away. Watching as his throat bobbed as he swallowed the lump in his throat at the affectionate actions. He still felt a little insecure but he trusted her. She wouldn’t laugh or mock him. He hated that he didn’t look like what the suit displays to people.

Nodding his consent, he took a deep breath and prepared himself for the moment of truth. With a swift motion, she pulled the suit apart, revealing his true form beneath. He shut his eyes and tensed as she dragged the clothing off his shoulders and he pulled his arms out of their protective layer. He hated feeling vulnerable. He basically lived in that suit. Never taking it off during his past relationships, even during sex. They didn’t mind or seem to care. But those women weren’t Cassidy. This wasn’t some fuck to take the edge off. She wanted the real him. She wanted him and not the propaganda Vought loved to showcase and drag around on a leash.

As the suit fell away, revealing the powerful and yet plain figure beneath, Homelander felt a mix of emotions. Fear, anxiety, and yet an odd sense of liberation. Cassidy’s touch was all he needed to ease those fears, her warm fingers gently caressing his skin as if she had been doing this for years.

She slowly traced the lines of his torso, brushing against the hair. As she moved her hands, she felt the beating of his rapidly pulsating heart. His chest rising and falling in deep, ragged breaths, a stark contrast to the pristine, perfection he presented to the world.

Cassidy leaned in, inhaling the unique, musky scent of his skin, a smell that was all John. She could have sworn she heard his heart synchronizing with hers, matching her own heartbeat. With a tender smile, she met his gaze, a silent promise that she would never let him feel insecure or alone.

"You're beautiful," she whispered, reaching up to caress his face with both hands. "And you're mine."

Homelander couldn't believe what he was hearing. The words he had always longed to hear, but never expected to hear from someone.

She quickly pulled her own sweater and top over her head and tossed it to the side. He watched, transfixed, as she shrugged off her bra, revealing a breathtaking sight. Her breasts were perfect, full and round, with dangerous curves that spoke of passion and desire. His hand trembled slightly as it reached up to cup them, pinching the pink nubs.

He leaned forward and took one of Cassidy's nipples into his mouth, gently sucking and nibbling, eliciting a soft moan from her. Her hips bucked under him, her body arching in response to his touch. Her palm traced down his back, feeling his strength practically vibrate under his hot skin.

Cassidy broke the connection, her breath coming in short gasps. Immediately surging forward to bring their lips together in a fiery kiss. Both of them let out sounds of pleasure as they worked on unbuttoning and unbuckling each other's pants. Slowly, Homelander slid his hand into Cassidy's jeans and felt the wetness that had been driving him insane ever since he had first smelled her all those months ago.

Cassidy moaned softly into his mouth, breaking the kiss to whisper, "I need you, John. Please."

With urgency, they quickly stood up, he removed his pants and boots and she slipped off her own, stepping out of them and into his comforting embrace. Cassidy ran her fingers through Homelander's hair, pulling his head down to meet her lips again in a passionate, fervent kiss. Her breasts were pressed against his chest, her nipples hard and sensitive against his skin. She couldn’t get enough.

Homelander picked Cassidy up, cradling her in his strong arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer, their bodies fusing together as one. He carried her to his bedroom with a gentle ease, as if she were the most precious thing in the world. The room was dim, lit only by a few lights casting shadows on the walls.

He laid her down gently, her body pressed against the cool fabric, her skin glowing in the low light. He looked into her eyes, filled with love and desire. Her bruised lips were parted, her breath coming in soft, ragged gasps. With a soft growl, he reached out, his hands tracing the curve of her hips and the soft skin of her stomach. His fingers danced lower, teasing and prodding until he found the wet heat he craved.

Cassidy's hips bucked at his touch, having to grasp his wrist to stop him from teasing her further. The emptiness became painful as she whined and pleaded for him to be inside her. He sucked in a breath as he took in the desperation in her face. As much as he wanted to bring her over the edge repeatedly with his mouth, his aching cock was getting hard to ignore. They had the rest of their lives to explore.

Nodding, their bodies melted into each other, his rock-hard cock pressed against her wet pussy, seeking entrance. They kissed feverishly, tongues entwining and exploring each other's mouths as their hands roamed and touched every inch of skin that was exposed. Guiding his erection to her entrance and slowly, deliberately pushing inside her. They gasped at the sensation, her warm muscles clenched around him, pulling him deeper. He thrusted into her, again and again, each stroke more powerful than the last.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer, their bodies fused together in this intimate connection. Their moans and gasps filled the room, mingling with the sound of their skin slapping together. His hands gripped her hips, guiding her up and down his shaft, setting a rhythm that had them both on the edge of ecstasy. She met each thrust with her own, her hips moving in perfect harmony with his, their bodies undulating in a dance of passion and desire.

Their breaths came in ragged gasps, their bodies generating intense heat, her skin glistening in the low light. He watched her face as she peaked, her eyes rolling back in her head, his name reverberating throughout his large penthouse. Her body convulsed under his, milked him for every ounce of pleasure he had to give. And then, with one final thrust, he tucked his head into her neck as he felt the wave of his own release, his cock twitching as he spilled his seed deep inside her fluttering pussy.

They collapsed onto the bed, breathless and spent, their bodies still joined together. For a moment, they just laid there, basking in the afterglow of their passion. Cassidy's fingers traced patterns on Homelander's back, her eyes locked onto his, filled with love and gratitude.

"I love you," she whispered, her voice soft and vulnerable.

Homelander swallowed hard, his throat feeling raw from the emotion. He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her, and whispered back, "I love you too. So fucking much."

They laid there occasionally exchanging kisses and I love yous, enjoying each other's company. Cassidy had her head on his chest listening to the steady beat of his heart and basking in the heat that he seems to constantly generate. She nibbled on her bottom lip as she debated if bringing up something was worth disrupting their cozy moment.

“I know you were there during my run after Thanksgiving. I saw you with those two guys in the tunnel.” she heard him inhale sharply and pause his trailing up and down on her back. He didn’t say anything as she lifted her head to rest her chin on his sternum as she looked at him.

“I want to thank you. Even though I could have taken care of myself.”

“Then why didn’t you stay?” He asked as he resumed his caress. Relaxing when she didn’t seem upset with him.

“I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me and were just doing your rounds. I left right when the second guy started to run. Didn’t know if you knew I was there and messed up your night.” She gave him a sheepish smile and brushed back his hair from his eyes while stretching to press a kiss to his lips.

She would never admit to him that his display of strength and savagery made her come hard in the shower when she got home. His ego is big enough thank you very much. That, and she shouldn’t have been turned on by someone’s death in the first place. Some doctor she was.

"I will always keep you safe. Everyone else can go to hell. You are my main concern, above everything and everyone else. Do you understand? I would destroy the entire world if it meant saving you." He gently traced her cheekbone with his thumb while holding her face in his hand. His eyes were filled with a fierce devotion and unwavering seriousness.

His confession should have made her worry and be a bit unnerved with how possessive he was but instead it made her blood heat with the feeling of being needed so completely. All she could do was nod and sit up to throw her leg over him to straddle his hips. The fire that he lit with his words reigniting her passion and his touch on her hyper-sensitive skin shot tingles throughout her body.

They made love again, lost in each other till the sky started to lighten around the horizon as morning approached. They separated while panting hard from the intense activity. Cassidy felt boneless and high off of endorphins and oxytocin. When she finally noticed the sun rising she shot up to look at the clock on his nightstand that read seven o’clock in bright red numbers.

“Oh fucking balls! It’s morning already?! Oh God. I need to get home. Fuck, fuck, fuck." she panicked as she shot out of the bed to gather her clothes then remembering they were by the couch in the living room. Not even bothering with becoming embarrassed with her nudity she ran into the living room and started to haphazardly throw on her things.

Arms suddenly circled around her to stop her jerky movements, “Hey, heeey. Where’s the fire? Why do you need to rush home so quickly? I thought we were having a great time! What did I do wrong? Don’t you wanna stay?” Homelander’s tone held a bit of hurt and sadness as he pulled Cassidy into his naked body. “Don’t you wanna stay with me?”

The pain in his voice made Cassidy drop her shirt as she quickly turned around in his arms, “Oh baby, I do,” she kissed him deeply while cradling his face, “ You didn’t do anything wrong love! I really want to stay in bed with you all day, John. That sounds so bloody fantastic but I can’t.”

She saw the disappointment in his eyes before he started to close off as he loosened his arms around her which made her hold onto him tighter.

“I promise I’ll be back later today! I just need to—”

Homelanders' hard tone cut her off, “Go back to Ian huh? I see. Get your jollies off with me then crawl back to the Chip Berlet wanna be. Fucking typical. I can’t believe I fell for it when you said you loved me. If you did, you wouldn’t—” It was her turn to shut him up by yanking his head down into a heated kiss before separating.

“No! No, you don’t get to throw your tantrum and say hurtful things to me. I was going to say I need to go to work since I am on duty today and need to change my clothes before you automatically assumed. You overgrown prat of a man. How could you think that I would just come here for a fuck? I absolutely love you John.” she panted in anger as she held his watery gaze as tears gathered in his eyes.

“Yeah, but you are still with him. You’re mine Cassidy. Utterly and completely mine . I don’t share with others Kitten.” Homelander growled as he retightened his arms around her in possessiveness.

“I will talk and end things with him when I see him tonight. I promise. Just please trust me. I have never lied to you. I can’t be in a relationship with you if you don’t trust me John. I would never hurt you on purpose.” she pleaded as she soothed his hair back and tucked her head under his chin. “Please.”

Homelander tightened his lips in displeasure but gave her a small sad nod as she pulled away to wipe away the moisture before they fell. She maneuvered him into their special hug. He took deep lungfuls of her scent to calm down when he pressed his face into the crook of her neck.

When she managed to have him let her go, she pressed soft kisses over his face after each article of clothing was put on, then she kissed him one last time after promising again to come back after work then left.

Homelander felt a little better knowing she wasn’t going back to Ian but was still upset that she wasn’t here with him. He was looking forward to spending the day with her. Watching movies and cuddling on the couch. He wanted her to be there when he turned on the news to see what people thought of his speech last night. He probably tanked in even more points. He was just so fucking pissed and done with everything.

Not giving a damn about his nakedness he slumped on the couch where her clothes were piled and turned on the tv to wallow in his self-pity.

#homelander #the boys amazon #homelander x oc #my writing #cassidy bishop #oc fanfiction #BTBR #Beyond the Bad Room #ao3 link

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