#and go interact with real human beings
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I’m going to be binging Step By Step after I wrap up Make It Right 2 tonight. I’m so here for it. I really thought I couldn’t do it with work and life commitments, but I’ll make it work. In the words of @shortpplfedup, I’m ready to watch a show made by adults, for adults, about adult topics.
But also -- today’s Big Commentary about BL fans complaining hard enough about their fake ships to get an actual show edited is just....
Some of them need to go back to school for art comprehension lessons. Learn to read between the lines. Lemme just leave this here.
#i'm in a mood.#my old gmmtv challenge is exposing me to shows and performers that have gotten cancelled for not playing the ship game#and i'm seeing it play out today on twitter and tumblr#misinformation and rumors literally sinking careers#for what#the sake of fans needing fanservice?#it's fake.#it's performative.#it's called....acting.#let the mens do their jobs and go home and eat dinner and pet their cats and be at peace#i swear i think it was reading the insistence that first and khao were bringing their off-screen relationship into our skyy 2 that --#left a bitter taste in my mouth for those eclipse eps#but i will transcend and watch them again freshly#without the influence of the girlies on my mind#i wish all the fangirls a very get out of your house and get some fresh air#put your phones down#set twitter on a limit#and go interact with real human beings#i'm so mad#step by step#step by step the series#oh also go watch the perth nakhun video about making BLs#and the ohm and perth video about mental health#because we are actually talking about the lives of real human beings who deserve privacy and respect.#people have forgotten about nietzsche and voltaire#get back into the books girlies and learn about art interpretation and power
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Who is this sassy lost child?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan#A-Yuan knows how to to utilise his big wet eyes to get treats. What a little legend.#The crowd comments about LWJ being 'daddy' and WWX being 'the mother' are a little too 'fan-service bait' for me.#So I am personally reimagining it as another layer of 'misinterpretation of a more complex situation' commentary.#I like how the different styles of interacting with children WWX an LWJ exhibit say so much about their own childhoods.#We - human beings in the real world - take two lessons from how we were parented: What we valued and what we wish we had.#LWJ leaning into indulgence is him pushing back against his own childhood of asceticism. It's something he didn't have - so he gives it.#WWX on the other hand has been *so* defined by his drive to indulge. And here he is the restrictor!#It takes a bit more to see what's going on here. The factors are not singular.#but to keep it in theme with LWJ; I'd propose it is partly his way of establishing structure when he did not have it as a child.#Both approches are a way of saying 'I didn't have this and I wish I did.'#With LWJ it's pretty obvious why...but WWX? What is at your core? What is your regret towards a lack of restriction?#Or...What benefit do you think it gives this child to learn the harsh lessons of going without?#Did it make you strong when you were a child? Do you think it is just the nature of the world and we all must learn it?#How we interact with children is such a fascinating topic to delve into our psychology and neuroses.#In a more light hearted turn of topic:#WWX confirmed to be 'person taking the car to the drive through to order one black coffee for himself' on the triangle spectrum.#LWJ is saying 'we have food at home' as he is opening his wallet ready to order for everyone.#(Technically this is comic 213 but yippee! We are in the 200's now! Thank you all so much for reading and cheering me on!)
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free my boy from his own show he did nothing wrong
#they did him soo dirty wth and no one gaf about him at aaaal jentry started to being a dick i mean yeah sure understandable but the rest#of the cast?? they didnt interact with him but judge him as if he was the worst they didnt care to know him uug the show was okay there's#just things like this i didnt like at all i belive it was a wasted opportunity to befriend michael and stella with kit they would definitely#get along i also hated the fact jentry told stella kit wasnt a human when it is something sensitive for him she just came out him and showed#no remorse and faced no consequences that felt so out of character i swear😭 AND I ALSO DISLIKE michael and jentry as partners#it feels as if they are just trying to make their childhood crush real yknow i dont fucking see any intimacy between them besides their#first interactions i mean i dont ship jentry and kit but dude their emotional intimacy is deep they even kinda share the same vision of live#anyway go watch jcvtu so i can know what the sigma happens next i swear if kit doesnt revives i swear#myart#sketch#fanart#jcvtu#jentry chau vs the underworld#kit#kit jcvtu#okay so talking a lil about my sketch mmm i used that photo for the pose because there's no way ill break my head over it and well the thing#kit has in his hands is supposedly the thread he uses for his humans cosplays#if theres anyone reading this excuse my grammar is just that idc im having fun
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rook x lucanis: romance with a commentary track! solas and spite contribute with their thoughts and opinions along the way whether anyone wants them to or not. it's like a MST3K episode up in here as you try to get hot and heavy. in. in the pantry. love among the radishes at the end of the world (rifftrax version)
#still not sure who I'll romance first but I *am* starting to find lucanis just like. inherently hilarious. which is often how it starts.#for me. because of my many faults and flaws as a human being. I can't resist anything I find even slightly funny#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#solas#dragon age spoilers#god please PLEASE let there be a fade section where solas and spite could interact just to complete my Vision here#anyway I think this concept could bring out the absolute troll side of solas that I love and treasure so much#if you annoy him too much in your little fade talks he'll start loudly critiquing your kissing technique in the back of your head#'oh is that how people go about it these days. well. not how I would have done it but to each their own of course'#pls pls I want pass agg dread wolf roasts constantly he's such a bitch he was born for this (affectionate)#I mean only lucanis and the player can hear spite apparently so it'd be more like lucanis looking into the camera like he's on the office#it's so cruel I think he's already going to be real weird at emotional intimacy as it is he shouldn't have to deal#with being bounced against the fourth wall like a little rubber ball on top of it all. sorry about your life (?) lucanis
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look i understand that ai generated content is a controversial topic, and ultimately protecting artists' intellectual property should take moral priority, but i feel like when people say "you don't want character.ai you want to rp with someone" they're kinda missing the point because unlike a chatbot, you can't exactly look your rp partner in the eye and say "that sucked ass. do that again"
#i mean you can but you won't have an rp partner by the end of it!!!#like there's a very specific perk that's being catered to here by removing human interaction#and that is. compromising and cordiality#although i do agree with the general sentiment behind those posts. as in these technologies ARE taking advantage of a very real phenomenon#where people are becoming increasingly lonely and antisocial and afraid of vulnerability in peer-to-peer interaction#anyway if you want some really good opinion pieces on this go read ted chiang's essays on ai for the new yorker#and also the interview he did for the financial times
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I am so confused, at this point
You've been loud enough with how much you hate me and my mods, so WHY are you still trying to interact with my stuff
I'll repeat myself over and over, but I dont want anything to do with you, not after the shit storm you caused over my mods, not after all the trash talk
#what the fuck man this fandom#hey if you're a piece of shit to me or friends don't go around trying to interact like nothing happened#this is fucking weird and ridiculous#others might work like that but not me - I'm an human being with functioning memory#I'll remember if you've been an ass to me?? be for real now#goddamn dude ahahahha#anyway can properly block now at least#fandom wank
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#boop....hazel going to Poke Cosmo's Face as well & the ways there's cosmo & wanda backing up each other's closetedness#suppose maybe you Could feel like hey that's not real human skin lol. hmm....#also just cosmo & wanda being this good fit for You Now Have More Parents here#where again like non normative kid? bonus non normative parents and or chaperones? great#then also their just jumping right into getting Involved / Interacting & noticing hazel even when she doesn't expect this#vs her own parents being a bit distracted / busy / more Hands Off in their approach#and cosmo & wanda just not making any assumptions / Asking even when that's unexpected too like; what is it You do#where are you going and why do you want to do that and how come you feel that way & etc. & are obviously willing to roll w/things lol
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lowkey annoying how the same people who say “wesker would not say he loves you” and accuse people who say that of making wesker ooc are the same people who genuinely think he’d kill you for interacting with him, which is also ooc
#like shut up shut up shut up y’all only like him cause he’s hot and you have no actually regard for his character#y’all r so annoying thinking in his general life he’d be genuinely disgusted at a normal human interaction#no he wouldn’t kill you the second he saw you he’s not an impulsive person#y’all only think that because he’s weird as fuck in re5 and you base all your opinions on him strictly on that game#did you forget the part where he literally fucked some girl from edonia ??? and had a partnership with her ???#people who genuinely think he acts like his re5 self in his general life do not know his charcater at all#and it’s so genuinely frustrating to see him so out of character in that way#also people wanting wesker to comfort them does not mean they think he’s a soft little baby man#it’s called having a comfort character#of course the character is gonna be softer#people who go ‘he wouldn’t comfort you he’d kill you in a second’ are the most insufferable people#shut up and let people have a comfort character#i could rant for hours about how wesker is perceived so wrongly by other wesker fans#well.. THOSE wesker fans that r annoying asf#oh lawd#(they just think he’s hot and have only seen him in re5)#daily reminder wesker would not kill you the second you spoke to him 👍#he prob doesn’t know you he has 0 incentive to kill you#like why is he being characterized like a sensitive angry man#why would i ever want to associate wesker with a real man#no thank you
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i am freeeeeeeee [collapses into a pile of dust]
#the last hour went okay bc we were just playing a card game and doing gifts/cards phew#also i found out theyre celebrating my bday on... august 25th? hewwo?? they didn't tell me until now 😭😭#my sister will be back at uni in sept and my parents are leaving on a trip the first day of sept so i'll be alone again for it fsdjkl#which. mixed feelings about that. i won't have to be afraid of them interacting w me but also :'( a little sad to be home alone for it#for the third year in a row fsjdkl#OH WELL. i should just be grateful tbh fdsjkl#the one thing i'm very sad about though is i can't go upstairs anymore bc the new security system has motion detectors#last year i watched jerma on the TV up there and sat on the comfy chairs... it was so fun fdsjkl. can't do that this year though AUGH#alas!!! i will somehow make it fun anyways maybe i will just ask if i can use the oven so i can make myself a cake again this year#SORRY FOR PERSONAL POSTING SO MUCH TONIGHT BTW. its been rough this evening fsdjkl but im going to go draw now :3#dandy.cmd#vent //#ALSO CONGRATS TO ME FOR BEING RLY QUIET AND AGREEABLE AND NOT ADDING ANYTHING NEW TO CONVOS HURRAY#finally i have gone back to highschool me thank GOD i've gotten too comfortable having opinions around them since i graduated fdsjkl#being around people (in the workplace and going to a counselor) who treat you like a Real Human Person will do that! wow!#abuse cw
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barton being awkward at first or even completely throughout a whole interaction whenever he's trying to comfort people is so in character for him TBH and let me tell y'all why because i think it's important to his character:
he can fake a lot of things. barton can fake being nice to people, he can fake being innocent, and he can even fake having a much stronger sense of morality around people if he wants to — but whenever it comes to empathizing with someone on an emotional level... barton finds himself often struggling with faking it because of the nature of it. and this is due to it being different than whenever he's trying to feign something easily comprehensible like innocence. but empathy is something that's usually viewed as innate in us as humans and has to do with love, which doesn't depend on logic. it's something that comes from within, so it doesn't have clear parameters as to how you should do it, so whenever barton tries to fake it in the event that he's trying to make someone feel better; he'll stumble. and so although barton can cognitively empathize with someone, his efforts to actually put himself in other people's shoes fall flat, as he just can't physically imagine himself being in someone else's position probably more than half the time.
so if your muse were to ever come to him seeming upset, barton would likely not know what to do / how to comfort them, at least for a bit before referencing back on how he's seen other people do it. because i hate to say it (i don't, in reality, but y'all know what i mean LOL) but barton does actively mimic behaviors that he sees people do whenever he feels the absence of a certain emotion. he especially does this whenever he's trying to appear charming to other people, but like i said, he'll also try to use what he's seen his peers do as a guide as for what he should do in regards to empathy. and sometimes he may even seem a bit flustered before he's able to do this because he knows that it is expected of him to be able to empathize with people and can identify it in other people BUT knowing how to approach faking it has always been sort of hard for him even as an adult.
but yeahhh, that's just my own two cents about how barton sometimes break character that he is quote unquote ' normal, ' though he does try to mask this around people who aren't really familiar with him as simply being social awkwardness. however, it is part of a larger thing with him as despite the fact that he can blend in with the population REALLY well and also is pretty good at manipulating others, i suppose you could say that barton is still not an expert at ' constructing empathy ' because whenever someone is visibly hurt in front of him... he is more liable to act like he isn't sure what to do, than to put on an act immediately since he is likely to feel nothing first before anything else. and i realize that that is a rather unsettling thought, but i think that he is a lot more suspectible to doing this with people he doesn't know well / who he isn't particularly close to, as he's got a lot more practice with being falsely empathetic towards friends and/or sometimes even family members.
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study.#ANGER'S HELPED ME STAY ALIVE: headcanons.#yeah so i do know that this does bring up some questions because if barton mimics emotions then how do you know whether he's being truly-#genuine or not whenever he's interacting with someone? and wellll that is honestly a rather good question bc i feel like sometimes it IS-#probably hard to tell whether he is actually feeling these things rather than just putting on an act in front of people though i feel as if#it's possible that you'd be able to tell in general if you pay close attention to what his tells are for lying / i think humans just in-#general are able to sense whenever someone is not being 100% authentic and i believe i've mentioned this before BUT barton does sometimes-#give off weird / bad vibes sometimes so that could help another character figure out that he mayyy or may not be being real with them rn.#so yeahhh i know that this isn't the most happy or light thing go talk about at 10:30 in the morning on a Sunday but JSJSJ what can i sayyy#/ j JSJSJ nahhh I'm kidding around with y'all but i did promise you guys that I would post fluff so i still fully intend on doing that#my brain just decided it was time to explain some thing's about barton's behavior / some context behind it bc i always like delving deep-#Into my character like this (':#tw: potentially disturbing content.#tw: discussions of symptoms of a mental illness.#tw: mentions of manipulation.
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I understand the people who DC in DBD when they find out the killer is the Clown, now. That's going to be me with the horrible fucking thing that's joined the franchise now.
#I have no issues with the STORY of chucky. I actually like it#my Major Squick just happens to be realistic inanimate object being given hyper realistic human features and or going on a murderous rampag#like stuff like DHMIS? LOVE IT IN CONCEPT. FUCKING INCREDIBLE. but then they do shit like cut open a cake and it's guts#or the irl puppets are now realistically bloody and gorey#I cannot#idk why! But I cannot see it. I can't look at it. Makes me nauseated!#it's like wet bread for some people#that's looking and interacting with shit like chucky is for me#now if it was cartoony and in like a comic book#or more goofy looking#THEN I COULD HANDLE IT#it's just it looking REAL. Like I COULD ENCOUNTER IT#that I have problems
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i didn't think i cared much for n's final battle theme bc i'm a sucker for melodically strong pieces aka certified bangers. but i must say it does a good job at making you uncomfortable when you really listen to the details. it's got tritones, clock ticking sounds, heartbeats, fire and lighting sound effects for reshiram and zekrom, up and down flights, ominous choir, plenty of dissonance. i woke up in a cold sweat at like 5am today with it hauntingly stuck in my head for some reason and that makes it deserving of my respect
#i would have preferred something more melodic to go with the theme of his heroic and pure heart. and his name#but it does a good job at being like hey there really is something genuinely wrong with this man#it sure sounds.. unnatural.......#he is undoubtedly human and full of love and justice. but he's also broken and misguided#he's barely had any real human interactions in his life and has like no social skills#he has at least one confirmed supernatural power in being able to speak to pokémon#apparently the ticking clocks were supposed to represent the ability to see into the past/future that got scrapped?#but i feel like that's still at least partially canon bc he does mention something like that#the ticking clocks and heartbeats at once are so unsettling. like a duality between machine and human#he's a human being who's been raised to be. less than that. treated as a pawn#obsessed with precise calculations. literally called a 'freak without a human heart'#alternatively it could be meant to represent like hey here's him breaking down and losing it#he already knows he's wrong but can't let go of it yet#they could've included the theme of mechanical calculations but still included a solid melody for his true heart#but his true heart is clouded at that point#man i love blorbo#i need to study him#pokémon#and see. ghetsis' battle theme similarly is dissonant and ominous rather than catchy#so maybe n's thing is that since he's doing all this as ghetsis' puppet#but also like ghetsis' is way more simple and n's is frantic and chaotic#to show how ghetsis is pretty much just pure evil and self-absorbed (the man has choir chanting his name!!!)#but n is conflicted and troubled inside and doesn't even know who he is anymore#natural harmonia more like. unnatural disharmonia#(is 'gropius' also a music thing i genuinely don't know)#bw
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I think the reason I'm so uncomfortable in conversation with cis men is because in my life the image I've grown up with is that from the American movies and while there's so much to be said about how women in those are basically objects or exclusively love interests or just Really Really forgettable I feel like there's also something to be mentioned about how most of these men are all the same pseudo-tough-guy character that's cool and suave and sexy and the only emotion he's capable of is nonchalant banter (it feels worth mentioning that the American movies I'm referring to are all from the last century I have no idea if that's changed in these last years but a gut feeling tells me no) and I also barely talk to the guys from my grade so the result of kind of growing up with that is that I just genuinely can not imagine real cis men with a complex inner emotional landscape. Maybe this is also an empathy thing but I genuinely can not imagine most cishet guys doing normal people things in their free time that aren't gaming or going to the gym or...idk. making music too I suppose. It's quite comical really but I just can not imagine cishet men with interests or doing stuff like having crushes and it's so strange because I know for a fact I am generally speaking not a sexist person but this little tidbit of apparently just not being able to view cishet men as normal people? Can't get that to go away even if I logically know it's silly. There's a point in this post about how toxic masculinity is a huge issue and affects even those not affected by it and runs really really deep or whatever but I'm too tired to coherently put it together. On the positive side now I get really happy when I see men online talk about how much they love their wives and all that because it's like "wow! Crazy you really are just a normal dude and not some James Bond knock-off like I thought every cishet man was supposed to be! Thank god!"
#i also think thats why I like poets so much#i mean sure there's poets that were complicated as people but what other kind of person would actually express emotions like that#you can really get me with men that are just genuienly chill and nice dudes because something in me does not believe they actually exist#and that scares me a little i have to confess that scares me a little#men scare me a little and that's so sad#women too but in a different way#that's just because I'm shy and awkward#thats more fear of the interaction#but with cis men it's just genuine fear of the human being#well more of an intense discomfort but still#i can talk to them but it's always awkward and stilted and I'm stuttering and tripping over words and all that#there's genuienly one man I can have an actual conversation with. one. well besides my father but thats different#it's also that underlying fear of being judged#I can handle being judged by a woman just fine we're on equal footing there we're good#but with men? nope. I just stay quiet before I can say anything dumb#i do wonder sometimes where that came from but I guess it's really just the stuff I grew up with#i mean I was basically raised by movies and audio dramas#and almost all of them were. older. on the older side. but not Old. that stuff came later#surprisingly though there's a whole string of musical comedies from the 30s where the main guys main thing is just thag he's really down bad#for this woman who almost never is also really down bad for him#never really heard talk of being a lovesick teenager who really wanted to go out with that one girl but was always too shy to ask from a man#in an old film. but also not really in real life i won't lie there.#anyways back to topic can we as a society please allow men to be cringefail and sappy in a genuine way instead of pretending to be cool#we need to bring back the romantic era where everyone actually made a big deal out of stuff like friendship and feelings#boy i should sleep
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Writing Patterns Tag Game
Tagged by @cinlat ! Thank you! Wow it was fun going back on all these bits of writing hahaha, the RP has definitely been going on all this time but to get to ten actual posted pieces I had to travel quite a long way back. Definitely makes me want to actually set down more of the ideas and musings I let float around in my head. @storyknitter @queen-scribbles @mimabeann @vespertine-legacy @tehriel @swtorpadawan @greencrusader13 if any of you folk feel inclined to play along please do!
Rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern!
Void-touched - Five never bothered with mirrors these days.
Five Years - He was as infuriating as he’d ever been.
Prompt: Six Repressed Memories - The night before, they’d stayed up late, conspiring in the fort in whispers that were too loud, overstimulated and giddy for the day to come.
Prompt: Repressed Memory for the Best Girl - The moon was bright and her belly was full, and best of all the pain had stopped, she’d found the source and shut it down and now everything was still and peaceful.
Artificial - Libby had wanted to hike Mount Marvellous for as long as she could remember, and she was beside herself when she finally had the opportunity to book a tour and be guided up the mountainside after years of training and research.
Prompt: Kiss, as a promise - “I don’t want to go.”
Prompt: "You could have died." - The days had been leisurely and indulgent, but with time came room for doubts and misgivings to creep in, giving a sour edge to the otherwise thoroughly pleasant experience of exploring the late Darth Vesstriss’ private estate.
Prompt: Protect - “Fynta. Hey. Hey is that you?”
Epilogue II - His bright blue eyes were the last things she saw before the lake swallowed her.
Prompt: "I'm only here to establish an alibi." - “WHOOOOAAAA–!!” Three voices hollered out in chorus as the out of town competitor, a burly selonian with jagged patterns bleached into her dark fur, was sent skidding across the ring.
#tag game#writing tag game#actually pleasantly surprised by the variety in my openings#I think something I can pick up from this#is that prompts make me way more productive#and I know it's the psychology acting there#I could pick up a prompt list and roll a d20 and go for it#but it's just not the same as that initial human interaction?#that teeny tiny show of interest?#but that's probably also why#putting out prompt lists all the time makes me feel like I'm begging/being annoying#which tends to stay my hand 99% of the time#and I really should just#put out there#give as much as I hope to receive#and let the wild flow of the internet take its course#anyway#THIS WAS REAL FUN I still love all these stories so much?#ty <3
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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)
I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏
#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that#wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it#so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always#i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone#tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know#and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone#let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to#i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself#but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice#makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude#so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry#i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody#i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them#everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share#this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this#tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb#hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one
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me trying to pretend I don't care about romantic love and devotion and sexual intimacy irl when really I feel like it's the meaning of my life
#but there are too many obstacles. and I genuinely don't feel the need to be in a relationship with a real person right now. hem hem.#I know this is going to sound deeply insane but sometimes I have these moments when I get so deeply disgusted with people. just people in#general. like thinking about the processes going on in their bodies and their faces look uncanny to me and I just get really nauseous and#feel the need to be far away and not look at any humans for a while. and ESPECIALLY not interact with anyone. and I don't know how I would#cope with that feeling if it ever came when I was in a relationship. idk if I could ever fully recover from being deeply repulsed by my#partner's physicality. and. there is also the redacted which has left a permanent brand on my soul and inevitably any relationship I might#have. I would need to explain hey basically blah blah blah. and I don't believe anyone would stay by my side after hearing that. because I#know _I_ wouldn't stay if someone told me that. probably. like I told my friend. I have my video game men. I have my good friends. I'm okay
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