#and given that I have plans for this afternoon I'm not gonna rush things

[lavenoon]

Eclipse and Neon from New Horizons by @zelda7999 - someone got a little distracted, decided he can finish changing later <3

[cocteaucherry]

trials and tribulations

summary- falling in love with your sworn enemy was not something you planned.

cws- p&p au/ bridgerton au, inaccurate use of regency language, 18+, misogyny, talk of pregnancy, foul language, future smut in later chapters, slow slow burn, LENGTHY descriptions

(a/n- the first chapter was running into 2k words so I split it up and edited it <33 I hope you enjoy

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife”

“So it's true that they're rather wealthy?”

“Well ONE of them are rather wealthy, the other not so much.”

“Doesn’t matter if they're both handsome.

“Ugh shoko don't say that”

You sat on the uncomfortable couch stopping your knitting to take part in the conversation, Shoko and Utahime, your lifelong friends sat across from you rather giddy about the wealthy newcomers

“What? It's true.” Shoko grinned her brown hair only reaching past her chin, “Makes the whole ‘being bound’ for life thing much easier.”

Utahime nodded, standing to walk across the small parlor, she sat on the small stool of the pianoforte playing a single note. “That, if men are gonna set the standard we might as well use it to our advantage.”

You rolled your eyes setting your needle and thread to the side, “So by finding an attractive wealthy man is taking advantage?”

“Yeah” they said in unison before giggling.

“Come on Y/n! Who really wants to be married with many children before twenty-five, some women may but not me! I'd like my twenties to amount to more than just my womb.” utahime exclaimed before tightly shutting her mouth when your mother walked in.

While she looked like a term cold woman she was really the best caring mother you could wish for in these times, “Good evening ladies,” your mother nodded with a curt smile, “I'm guessing you all have heard the news?”

“The well-off lads with handsome faces coming to town? No we haven't,” you smirked standing up before your mother’s hands were immediately attached to your shoulders, “This is your time my dear! For you to make your mark and to finally marry!”

Utahime and Shoko had to stifle their laughter.

You looked back with an annoyed grimace on your face as your mother moved to grip your hands, “My dear, you know why I worry, I worry for all of you like my own children.. As you all approach spinster age we mothers grow worried.”

Shoko and Utahime groaned in comparison their mothers had given them the same speech, “Now, I want the both of you to get on home and prepare for their welcoming ball-”

“WE WERE INVITED-” all of your voices rose in a confused squeal before your mother hushed them.

“Invitations were sent out this afternoon-”

“Mother you didn't tell me?!” you whispered yelled as you rushed over to utahime.

“I was going to-”

“Utahime can I please borrow your ribbons?” you pleaded.

“But that's my favorite!”

“Come onnnn pleaseee”

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

“So his name is Satoru Gojo?” you and Shoko stared at the invitation, very impressed by the amount of time and possibly money spent into the thick piece of paper.

“Yeah, I've never seen him but I've heard things. Like how he's conceited and doesn't exactly rub people the right way.” Utahime scoffed at the frill on her delicate dress.

“Oh so your ideal husband?” you grinned jokingly as you felt Shoko flick your forehead, “Ow!” you hissed in pain, whining , rubbing your forehead.

“Thank you Shoko, how far are we?” Utahime peeked out the carriage window to immediately be star struck, “look look!” she pointed, and you a shoko to foot to look out.

You all had passed by the manor countless times, nothing was particularly jaw-dropping about its size but that was it, looking at it from a new angle it was glorious. The overgrown fauna had been trimmed and lights took over all the dark areas, different flowers had overtaken the walls and it was truly breathtaking.

“This is..”

“Amazing, yeah,” you said breathtakingly as the carriage came to an abrupt stop, you heard the voice of your mother and father ahead of you (the adults had opted for a separate carriage) the door to the carriage opened as she quietly ushered you out, “Come come!”

Once you all had approached the entrance you were hit with the strong smell of flowers and expensive perfume, your nose scrunched as you all stepped through the wide open doors. marble statues and flowers hung everywhere, “Think they have enough flowers?” you whispered to Shoko with a grin as you tried your best to not bump into any of the guests.

“We just arrived and I'm already overstimulated.” Utahime groaned before getting stopped by your mother, “Before you leave remember you are here to make a marvelous impression, don't disappoint me.” she stuck a finger out before placing a kiss on your cheek and disappearing into the crowd of people.

“Well, ladies.” Shoko hummed with a grin, “I say we go dance,” she grinned wrapping an arm around Utahime’s neck, “Actually, I'm going to find the wine, you two have fun.” she quickly walked away leaving Shoko to scoff and immediately grab your hand, “C’monnn y/n.. Please..”

“Fine! Fine! Let's go!” you giggled,

As the band played loudly you and Shoko continuously danced, eventually forgetting the whole reason you had come, “Shokoo, how are you not tiredd?” you panted continuing to spin around your dance partner, “goodness you're too weak.” she grinned at you spinning around her own dance partner.

The music had halted and Shoko immediately fell to your side, “And I'm weak?” you laughed smirking as you gripped onto the brunette's arm.

The room suddenly went quiet, hushed mummers filled the room as the guests around you stepped back. “He’s here he’s here!” Shoko whispered quietly tugging on your hand to strap back, “Gojo?-“ you were shushed immediately as your attention was bought to the wide opened door.

A tall slender frame, a beautifully dark blue tailored suit was complimented by his snow white locks, his bright blue eyes scanned the room as a small smile appeared on his face. Accompanying him was a person who you hadn’t seen before, long jet black black hair tied into a bun, his jet black suit offsetting his amber eyes.

“Who’s that?” You whispered to Shoko keeping your eyes on the men as they began to walk towards the cleared aisle everyone had made, “One with the white hair obviously Satoru Gojo, the one next to him I’m guessing is his trusted friend Suguru Geto.”

You nodded confusingly as people bowed next to you, you and Shoko bowed in tandem as they walked by, Geto spared a small glance to you before hurriedly looking away the same stoic look taking place on his face.

“Hm-“ you sighed quietly taking your hands off the fabric of your dress as the two men made their way down the walkway, once they reached the end the music resumed and the breath you didn't know you were holding came out. Were you that nervous?

As you were lost in thought you were quickly bought out by the hands of your mother gripping your soldier, “Did you see how handsome he was? We must introduce you immediately!” your mother pleaded, grabbing your hand, you turned to Shoko with pleading eyes and a smile appeared in her face, “Yeah come on!”

Oh this woman-

before you could release a string of insults you were being pulled away by Shoko, your mother following suit. “Shoko! Please please please-” you shut your mouth as you stood in front of the infamous man known as Satoru Gojo and his friend.

You felt your palms begin to sweat as you were placed upon the beautiful man, your nervousness only skyrocketed as you felt the suffocating glare of Suguru Geto cast over you.

“Mr Gojo and Mr Geto.” your mother bowed with a smile, “My daughter y/n l/n and her friend Shoko Ieiri.” as you and Shoko began to bow you were met with a laugh coming from the white-haired man.

“Please, there's no need for bowing.. I'm not that formal,”

“Satoru..” his black-haired friend began as Gojo quickly shushed him.

“So Miss Shoko and Y/N.. Oh I almost forgot about my wet blanket here, Mr. Suguru Geto, careful he doesn't care for lively things.”

A vein appeared above Geto’s eyebrow as he clenched his jaw. “I'm the one with actual sense.” he quickly retorted which caused Gojo to frown.

“Well I'll leave you both to it,” your mother interrupted, placing a kiss on your cheek before whispering, “Don't mess this up.” she plastered on a smile before walking away into the crowd of people.

Shoko cleared her throat before looking at the two men, “So, how are you two settling into the town?”

“Lovely-”

“Horrible-”

Gojo looked over annoyingly at his friend flicking his arm, “What he means is-”

“No no, please enlighten me Mr. Geto” his body tensed at you saying his name, “What is so horrible about this town?” you questioned a sickly sweet smile taking over your features.

“For one, the architecture is overly simplified-”

“Oh, what a surprise a small town doesn't fit Mr. Geto’s standard.”

Gojo grinned a small laugh leaving his mouth, “Well, you both sound lovely with a great sense of humor.”

“Well thank you, I think it’s time me and my friend get going.. we enjoyed talking with both of you.” Shoko curtsied as you did too, you turned and left Shoko following after.

Once you were out of earshot Gojo looked towards his friend with a grin, “they’re both rather cute aren't they?”

Geto scoffed, shaking his head, “Miss. Ieiri seems a rather pleasant Miss. L/N I’m not so sure.”

The white haired male laughed, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “Maybe I’ll try my luck with her then?”

A vein appeared in Geto’s neck as his fist tightened and Gojo pointed it out, “Got you, you’re too easy to read my dear friend..” he smirked, walking away into the crowd.

Suguru shook his accusation off his eyes searching for your hair but couldn’t be found, he DIDNT want anything to do with you.

At least that’s what he told himself.

[mel-berii]

'cause my love is mine, all mine

ranpoe new year's fluff; 2.9k this is very rushed I'm sorry!

Sometimes, Edgar wonders what the critical moment was that led him onto this path.

He could easily pin it on his battle of wits with Ranpo six years prior–but it of course would have to be the event that eventually led him to that. But in reality, even if he thought about it for hours and hours, he’d find that there were so many tiny decisions that led to this precise moment: the things that led him to going to Japan in the first place, the things that led him to joining the Guild, the things that led him to meeting Fitzgerald (although, that really was pure chance. He could probably chalk it all up to chance, really).

But whatever the reason, he supposes that winter in Yokohama beats winter in Boston. Those six years prior, he only spent a very short time in Japan, and that was in the spring, when the sakura trees were blooming and he was sneezing every fifteen seconds or so (which he did not enjoy in the slightest, thank you very much).

But now, he’s spent the past summer, autumn, and now winter in Yokohama. Yokohama, with its proximity to the ocean, isn’t prone to snow and ice, but there’s a definite chill in the air. It’s milder than back home, but Edgar is prone to chills regardless of the weather, so it makes little difference to him–but it gives Ranpo the perfect excuse to curl up against him as his own personal heater.

Such as right now.

“Ranpo, my dear,” Edgar says, twirling around locks of Ranpo’s hair in his slender fingers. “We really should get up. We have things to do.”

Edgar can only hope to God Ranpo hasn’t figured out his plans with Ultra Deduction just yet. He’d sworn Yosano to secrecy about it, but Yosano could probably be pried open with just the right amount of prodding–which is definitely not convenient, given the party Ranpo is expected to attend this afternoon.

Ranpo whines, not unlike a child. “It’s too warm. Don’t wanna get up.”

“Dearest, I’m afraid we must. Yosano-san is hosting a New Year’s party, is she not?”

“Ugh, she’s gonna be hammered by the time we get there,” Ranpo groans, burying his face in Poe’s chest. “She’s a wild ride when she’s drunk.”

“I think you are exaggerating. I doubt Yosano would day-drink.” (Despite his claim, he shudders at the thought.) “And it would upset her greatly if you didn’t make an appearance.”

“But I wanna stay with you.” Ranpo looks up at Edgar, pouting. “Y’know it gets loud in there.”

Edgar frowns a bit. He does know that very well, unfortunately–he too is often a victim of noises too loud and lights too bright. 

“I know, my dear.” He strokes Ranpo’s hair a bit. “We could bring your headphones, if you wish.”

“They make me look weird.”

“They most certainly don’t.”

“Yes, they do. They’re bulky.”

“Then I could bring earbuds for you. Would that be alright?”

Ranpo is quiet for a moment, before he presses his face back against Edgar’s chest. Edgar can feel his breath against his skin.

“Okay,” he mumbles. “What about you, though? You’ll start panicking the second we walk in there.”

“You need not worry about me.”

“I kinda have to. You’re like a rubber ball of anxiety.”

Well. Edgar can’t really refute that. If it were up to him, he would stay home with Karl for the duration of the event, and read quietly until Ranpo’s return.

But Ranpo, damn him, has been trying to get him to go out more often–something about getting him some sun (despite the general cloudiness and gloom of December). Although, deep down, Edgar does appreciate the effort Ranpo puts in to look out for his health.

“I know,” he says after a moment. “But I did promise to accompany you if you went.” 

Ranpo hums. He can’t argue with the possibility of Edgar actually getting some Vitamin D.

“Alright, alright, fine,” Ranpo groans. He rolls off of  Edgar and sits upright, running a hand through his hair and blinking the sleep away from his eyes. Edgar follows suit and sits up as well.

God, Ranpo is so beautiful.

Ranpo hopes out of bed and reaches for a shirt that was thrown onto a chair the night prior. Edgar, like a sensible man, stands on the other side of the bed and pulls open his dresser (it still baffles him a bit that Ranpo let him have one of the drawers in his dresser, although he’s certain it’s only so Ranpo has an ample supply of clothes of Poe’s to steal). He pulls out a still-ironed dress shirt and pulls it over his head.

Ranpo’s room is the cleanest it's ever been, Edgar notes–Ranpo is not someone who cleans up after his messes very well. But the night before, it barely even looked like his apartment, with no full sinks or dusty corners to be found. Ranpo said something about it, but Edgar was a bit too tired to remember–“bad luck” or something along those lines.

A hand suddenly touches the top of his head, patting it. “You should brush your hair a bit,” Ranpo comments.

Edgar’s cheeks flush a tad. “Ah. Um–thank you, dear. You’re probably right.”

“I’m always right.” Ranpo beams. “I’ll feed Karl and we’ll be on our way!”

The sun is less blinding than Ranpo’s smile, but Edgar can’t find it in himself to look away. He nods in acknowledgement, and sets to get himself ready as well.

...

It’s… better than Edgar thought it would be.

There’s music playing quite loudly from a speaker in the corner, yes, but it’s on the other side of the room from where Edgar stands, lingering awkwardly around the entrance.

At least, he lingers until Edgar grabs him by the arm and yanks him forward, a big grin on his face.

“C’mon! They all missed you!”

Edgar looks around the room, confused. How could Ranpo’s coworkers have possibly missed him? He’s a bit surprised they remember his existence, in all honesty–but the Armed Detective Agency has surprised him more than once.

Yosano grabs his other hand. She’s beaming, and there’s a glass of wine in her free hand.

“It’s been forever! Ranpo talks about you non-stop, it’s insane.”

Edgar blinks. His eyes gravitate towards Ranpo, who has let go of his hand and moved towards Fukuzawa. They’re talking about something in Japanese too fast for him to understand very well.

He looks back at Yosano. “He… he does?”

“Oh, absolutely.” Yosano lets go of his hand and takes a sip of her wine. “He’s always like, Poe-kun this, Poe-kun that, yada yada yada.” She laughs. “I can’t believe you don’t come up here more often!”

“Well… I felt as though it was inappropriate…”

“Inappropriate?” Yosano waves her hand, dismissing the notion. “Nah. That Port Mafia executive comes up here all the time because of Dazai-san–we’ve all kinda just accepted it. I doubt even Kunikida would bat an eye at your presence.”

“The… Port Mafia executive? The one with the red hair?”

“Yes, yes, that one–Chuuya, I think his name is.” Yosano takes another sip. “If I’m gonna be honest–I’m a tad tipsy and I don’t entirely remember.”

“...ah.”

Edgar looks around the room again. He can see Atsushi and Kyouka sipping what is either champagne or some sort of sparkling water or juice, and Dazai speaking on his phone; whoever he’s talking to is so loud that he can hear them from where he stands.

“...going to your shitty banquet! I got enough on my plate already!” the person on the phone screams.

Edgar tries to filter any more of that conversation out of his mind, and looks back to Yosano. He swallows.

“You… are not mad about when I trapped you in my novel, are you?”

“Oh, please, that was months ago,” Yosano answers. “Ranpo forgives you and I honestly can’t care that much.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! I mean, I did die, technically, but it’s no big deal.” Yosano smiles. “Now–” she takes Edgar’s hand, “you’re probably starving. We got plenty of good food.”

She’s right. There’s seafood and baked goods on a cleared-off desk, organized in neat little plates. It would be appetizing if Edgar ever really had an appetite at all. (That’s a strange difference between himself and Ranpo that he’s noticed–but he tries to pay no mind to it. Ranpo, thankfully, isn’t the type of person to force food down his throat, unlike… other people.)

“I’m afraid I’m not all that hungry,” Edgar answers, trying his best to sound polite. “I think I will eat later, if I do find myself so.”

“Huh. Okay, then. Suit yourself. Stuff’s good, though; it’s worth a try.” Yosano shrugs and takes another sip from her wine, before walking off, probably to gossip with another coworker.

Edgar doesn’t talk to Ranpo’s coworkers all that much in the next hour or so. He does get a few greetings–the first coming from Atsushi.

“Hope you have a good year, Poe-san,” he says with a soft smile. Kyouka, who is next to him, nods in agreement with him.

Poe, who was in the middle of feeding Karl some crumbs of a cookie, jumps a bit, not hearing them come. He looks at them and nods in return. “A-ah. Yes. I hope you do as well, Atsushi. And…?”

“Kyouka,” Kyouka answers in a soft voice.

“Kyouka.” Edgar smiles, hoping it looks genuine and not weirdly forced. “I wish the best for you both.”

They walk off talking together, leaving Edgar be, which he is highly grateful for. The sinking feeling that often accompanies him is surprisingly gone today. It’s strange. Of course, he is still quite anxious, but the sense of impending doom is quite different in his mind–and for now, it’s gone.

At least, until he senses a presence behind him. He doesn’t hear any footsteps, but he can feel a pair of eyes staring down at him, and he has to force himself to turn around.

It’s Fukuzawa.

Fuck.

Edgar dumps the remnants of his cookie into a trash can, and looks up at him, his back straightening. “Mister Fukuzawa?”

“Poe-san.” Fukuzawa exhales through his nose. “I am aware of your… connection with Ranpo.”

Oh, no. Edgar can only assume the worst. He disapproves, he despites Edgar and wants him to leave the Agency building immedia–

“And I would like you to be aware that I am alright with that.”

Edgar has to keep his mouth from falling open. Huh?

“Ranpo doesn’t get along with people very often,” Fukuzawa continues. His voice is a bit soft, as if hoping to not attract the attention of the others. “He has good relationships with the Agency, but you are… different.”

Edgar’s shoulders scrunch up a bit. “Y-yes,” he affirms.

“And I am glad that Ranpo has found somebody to open up to.” Fukuzawa reaches out and places a hand on his shoulder, and Edgar tenses up. But can see the hint of a smile–or maybe that’s just his imagination. “Take care, Poe-san.”

Edgar nods, almost frantically. “Y-yes, sir. I will.”

Fukuzawa nods to him, and pulls his hand away. He walks away, and even though Edgar is concentrating on him now, he still can’t hear his feet. It’s almost creepy.

A few moments pass and Ranpo comes bounding up to him. He’s holding two plastic bags, with images of penguins and snowmen on them, stuffed full with baked goods.

“Haruno made cookies for everyone to take home!”

Edgar stares at the bags. “You… took two?”

“Yeah.” Ranpo frowns a bit. He shoves one of the bags into Edgar’s hands. “She made enough for everyone. That includes you.”

“...oh.”

“Now, we’ve been here a while, so I think we can slip out unnoticed, if ya want. Dazai-san managed to get Chuuya to come here, so that’s more than enough of a distraction.”

“Do you wish to leave?” Edgar asked. “You seemed unbothered by the…” He tries to think of the word in Japanese. “Sensory input.”

“Honestly? I’m fine.” Ranpo shrugs. “I figured you’d wanna leave, though.”

“Well…” Edgar looks at the bag in his hands. That anxiety still nags at him–but something has changed. He can’t put his finger on it or a name to it, but something has shifted.

But maybe he shouldn’t push his luck.

“I suppose now is as good of a time as any.” He looks up at Ranpo. “But please, give Haruno-san my thanks.”

“Will do.” Ranpo takes his hand. “When I come back to work.”

He pulls Edgar back towards the entrance, and waves goodbye to Yosano. Edgar glances back at the scene before him–he can see Dazai and Chuuya bickering in a corner, and Kunikida with a little girl surely no older than eleven, happily chatting. Fukuzawa is sneaking another cookie from the table of food.

He looks back at Ranpo and follows him out.

As soon as they reach the elevator, Ranpo turns to him with an all-knowing smile. “So… you wanna do anything?”

Ah. Ranpo’s got him figured out.

“Well…” Edgar trails off. “I was hoping we could… go out tonight? I heard there would be fireworks–if you’d be alright with that, of course.”

“Fireworks, huh?” Ranpo steps into the elevator, and Edgar follows. “Didn’t think you’d be into that.”

“Well, I thought it would be… nice. Something we could do together.”

“Aww, you’re acting all romantic! It’s adorable.”

Edgar’s eyes widen and he begins to stutter. “I–well–”

Ranpo breaks into laughter. “Yes, Ed, we can go see the fireworks. I’d love to.”

Edgar lets out a slightly shaky sigh. “T-thank you, dear.”

Ranpo takes his hand as the elevator dings, signaling they’ve reached the ground floor. “You know what? I know just the place to go.”

...

It’s night. It’s been night for a while.

The stars are invisible underneath the light pollution of the city–which is a shame. Edgar wouldn’t mind stargazing with Ranpo, although it doesn’t seem like either of them to be particularly interested in that.

It’s also cold. 

Edgar breathes on his hands–he, like an idiot, neglected to bring gloves. But Ranpo takes one of his hands.

“God, you’re always so cold!” Ranpo comments. “Your hands are freezing!”

“I suppose it’s my fault for forgetting my gloves,” Edgar says, sighing.

Ranpo shuffles closer to him, and grabs his hand, intertwining their fingers. For a second, Edgar freezes up, but then he relaxes once again.

Ranpo huffs. “What time is it?”

“That’s the third time you’ve asked in the last ten minutes, Ranpo,” Edgar answers, but he pulls out his phone anyways and turns on the screen. “11:57.”

“Ugh, time always moves so slowly when you don’t want it to.” Ranpo leans against Edgar, staring up at the sky. “I just want the fireworks to start already.”

“I know.” Edgar’s head tilts to the side, resting against Ranpo’s. “But there’s only two minutes left.”

It goes quiet for a moment. There are other people on the pier, talking amongst themselves, but to Edgar it’s all white noise. The seconds slowly tick by, and he can feel Ranpo growing antsy with the way he squeezes Edgar’s hand.

“Why… do you like me?” Edgar asks in a quiet voice.

He can almost hear Ranpo roll his eyes. “God, you are so stupid sometimes.”

“I beg your pardon?”

Ranpo pulls away from him. “I like you because you’re you. You, with all your social awkwardness and low-key obsessiveness. You’re devoted to what you want.” He grabs Edgar’s hand again, and stands on the tips of his toes so that they’re eye-level. “I like that in a man.”

“...ten, nine…!”

“But–you are you,” Edgar retorts. “I am me.”

“...six, five!”

“Exactly.” Ranpo leans in. “I love you, Ed.”

“two, one!”

It’s like a scene out of a corny American romance movie. Ranpo closes the gap and wraps his arms around Edgar’s shoulders, pulling him down a bit as his feet flatten. Ranpo’s lips are soft and taste like the cotton candy chapstick he carries around (which to a normal person would probably be disgusting, but it’s so wonderfully Ranpo that Edgar couldn’t possibly care less about that strange artificial flavor).

Ranpo pulls away. Edgar’s cheeks are a light shade of pink.

“I…” Edgar swallows, although his mouth is a bit dry. “I love you too, Ranpo.”

“Then kiss me like you mean it, dummy!” Ranpo grabs him by the collar and pulls him in for a second kiss. Edgar’s hand holds Ranpo’s face, and his free hand takes Ranpo’s.

The firework display goes completely ignored.

...

Dawn comes and Ranpo and Edgar are eating mochi. They’re sitting on the roof of the Agency building, having sneaked up there via the fire escape.

“So,” Ranpo asks with his mouth full of mochi, “when are you going back to America?”

Edgar is quiet for a moment. He looks down at the plastic container of food sitting between them, seemingly lost in thought. His visa expires in two weeks.

But… he could probably ask Francis to pull a few strings.

“I can stay for longer,” he finally answers. “If you’d have me.”

Ranpo’s eyes widen a bit, and Edgar can see the beginnings of a smile on his face. “For how long?”

“As long as you want, my dear Ranpo.”

Ranpo launches forward and wraps himself around Edgar in a tight embrace, forcing Edgar to fall backwards onto the pavement. Ranpo is almost vibrating with excitement.

“Yes, yes, as long as you can!” he says gleefully.

Edgar lets out a breath of relief. He stares up at the cloudless sky, a dark slate to orange gradient. It’s beautiful.

Almost as beautiful as Ranpo.

His hand rests on Ranpo’s back. “Then I shall see that it’s done.”

[yaboymercury]

You were really trying to focus on your walk through of the store, but as soon as he looked away your eyes couldn't help but stare at your shift manager's bouncing ass.

"And have you got any questions?" Fuck! You did, but it would be hard to explain that you hadn't been focusing on how to do the first day of your job because you were being a pervert.

"Nope, thanks for your help." You answered as convincingly as you can trying not to blush.

"Great to hear," he gave you a warm smile, "good luck!" God did he have to be nice as well? You tried not to drool as you watched him bounce down the aisle until he turned the corner.

Luckily stocking shelves and helping customers was mostly common sense so you managed to do pretty well for the first half of the day. You were informed that you got a break mid afternoon so you went to the break room to chill.

As you grabbed your food from your locker you assumed it would be busier in the back, but as you walked into the break room you were surprised to see your shift manager being the only other person there.

"Oh hey was this your scheduled break time?" He obviously wasn't trying to sound too accusatory.

"3pm right?"

"Yeah.... shit..." He trailed off as he adjusted his position in the chair.

"It's fine I can come back later." You went to leave not really wanting to piss him off.

"No, no it's your first day, you probably deserve a break, sit down." He smiled as you slowly returned.

You made some idle chat about how the shift was going but as he spoke you could tell he was getting progressively more uncomfortable.

"You alright there?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah, I just-"

PPPPPHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRUUUUMMMMPPPTTTT

The fart obviously needed out as it exploded against his chair and made him moan pretty lewdly in relief. Your mouth was agape in shock but as the noxious stench made it's way into your system you quickly began to wretch and hold your nose.

He finally seemed to close the floodgates and end the flatulence regaining some control.

"Shit, shit, shit, I'm sorry!" He rushed over to you rubbing your back. "I know it stinks, are you okay." It was bad, really bad, but with him warmly rubbing you, you weren't gonna recover too quickly.

"Yeah I'm good, are you?" You weakly responded.

"Yeah I'm used to it," he chuckled glad you were okay, "I usually get given break last by myself so I don't have any victims." He sat down next to you offering some water which you gladly gulped.

"So you're always that gassy?"

"Oh yeah." He leaned in his seat.

Ppppphrrrrrrmmmmppp

The fart was more controlled than the last and no matter how hard he wafted his behind the rotten smell still reached you.

"Hah, that was a small one." he slapped you on the back making you chuckle with him, but also worry about that being qualified as small.

"So why not a toilet? The break room feels a bit public right?" The smell had made you lose your appetite for lunch.

"That was what I planned with my supervisor but after trying it the one staff toilet was uninhabitable for a week, and at least the break room has windows." He went to go open another one even though it was the middle of winter. You were happy for another opportunity for him to show off his ass, even if you now knew what it could do.

You didn't even know what to say this wasn't a situation you'd ever been in before.

"Anyway I'll let you enjoy the rest of the break, hope the smell clears out." He grabbed his things and headed for the door. "And watch where you're looking." He winked as he cocked a leg.

Fffffrrrrraaaaappppptttt

He chuckled as he wafted behind him and closed the door. With that you blushed realising he'd seen you staring, but what was even worse was the topped up fart smell making you gag.

You didn't see him for the rest of your shift and your next day you managed to have a pretty normal first few hours. That was until you were stocking some snacks in a quiet aisle when you heard footsteps stop near you.

Ffffffrrrrrrraaaaaappppttt

You were immediately bombarded with the unforgettable sulfuric stink from the day before and looked up to see the shift manager smugly smiling down at you.

He took a little whiff, "Hey buddy good to see your attitude doesn't stink!" He put obvious emphasis on the last word.

You stood up trying not to breathe in too much of the offensive odour. He was your superior so you weren't going to complain too much but this was a pretty drastic change in attitude.

"What happened to the break room plan?" You wafted the air around you.

"Ever since I caught you looking at my assets I assumed you were a sucker for punishment." He turned to the side and grabbed a handful of ass making you red. "So I thought I'd give it in the stinkiest way possible!"

You couldn't fathom what he was saying, your brain was shifting between disgust, arousal and fear. "Isn't this like harassment?" You stammered.

"Not if you don't want a raise soon?" He winked evilly. "Or I can write you up for all your misplaced looks." He said a lot more threateningly.

You just gulped not knowing what to say.

"That's what I thought." He chuckled as the turned to leave not before pushing his butt back against your bulge.

FFFFRRRRPPPPPPPPPPTT

He laughed as he walked away leaving you in his stinky wake. You were ashamed that the mere contact with his ass left you frustrated and hard.

So this continued for the rest of the shift. If you were alone he'd find away to sneak up on you and push his ass your way and let rip an anal ambush leaving a stench on your body. Or if you were in a bit more of a busy area he would come up put his hand on your shoulder and talk like he was giving advice all while cupping a silent fart and then letting the stink free as close to your tainted face as possible. Sometimes if he just wanted to watch you pant for fresh air he would walk past you in an aisle and look back for the cropdust stench to hit you and make your lungs sting and knees buckle. The stench was tortuous making you wish you just didn't have the sense of smell to have to put up with something so rotten. But any chance you had to look at his ass or even make contact with it almost made up for stink in how attractive it was.

This all culminated near the end of the day when you heard his voice over the intercom requesting to see you in the back. You prepared mentally as much as you could as you went to meet him. He silently led you to a small storage room, just big enough for the two of you.

"You've been doing such a good job today I thought it was time to offer you a raise." He put on a cheeky smile.

"A good job being harassed by farts?" You quipped with your nose still aching.

"Oh don't be like that," he cooed turning around giving you a good look at his bubbly ass barely held back by the tight trousers, "I know you can't say no to this." You gulped as you shamelessly stared mute.

He chuckled looking back at how easily he'd silenced you. "Now you've been so good at smelling my stinkers I've become quite fond of you. Starting tomorrow I'll start asigning you more hours and on top of that pay I'll personally fund a generous rancid raise."

He punctuated the offer.

Ffffffrrrrraaaaaaarrrrrrppppppppppppppp

The gas leaked out making his cheeks ripple just from its force. He leered back as he felt his gas start to spread around the small room as you tried not to breathe still entranced by the dangerous ass.

"All I ask is that you drop to your knees and accept." The man you once thought was nice and welcoming was a sensual stinky sadist.

It had taken you ages to find a job and you were desperate for the money. But this logical point paled in comparison to the toxic scent which you feared could cut years off your will to live. But as he put fingers under his cheeks to shake them your will broke.

You fell to your knees, face level with his ass. "Good boy." He sultrily commended as he stroked the back of your head as it fell into his ass. You hungrily rubbed your face in between the cheeks letting your dick leak pre. But you didn't get much time to enjoy it. His grip on the back of your head suddenly became firm.

"After this I'm just going to say you went home ill after tasting something rotten!" You heard as panic set in.

FFFFFFFFRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

PPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRAPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTT

BBRRRRRRRRRRARRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPP

You could tell he was going to keep going as you heard orgasmic moans coming from the man who was polluting your nose with unthinkably toxic fumes. But after just a short time you had blacked out, your body unable to come with the horrific level of methane and sulfur being forced into it. And as you lay knocked out in his ass you  were promoted on your second stinky day at your noxious new job.

-

ko-fi if you wanna tip or make a commission

[lindzaylove]

midsummers

A Kook's Perspective series

word count: 3.5k

trigger warnings: excessive word count, underage drinking

taglist: @ashleyj27 @pogueslandia @psychosympathizer @maybankforlife @teelagurl558 @maybanktrash @cherrybarzy @slut4jj

gif by: @ptersparkers

"you have got to be kidding me!" you exclaimed, letting out a sigh afterward.

"i'm sorry Y/N, but i got in a fight with my mom and i would just rather not go. you should come out on the boat with us!" Kie offered, but you sighed again.

"no, i have to go. at least i can hang out with Sar-"

"actually, i'm skipping too," Sarah replied through the phone. "not really in the mood to play princess."

"you two literally suck. are any of the boys working it at least? Pope?" you flipped through your wardrobe, trying to find something to wear that evening.

"sorry Y/N, we are all cutting," Pope said. "you still have all day to change your mind and come out with us."

"no, i have to go. something about how we are never seen together as a family or whatever," you sat on your bed. "i'll check in later to let you all know how miserable i am."

"just remember we love you!" JJ yelled, the phone cutting off soon after. you laid back on your bed, pouting at the ceiling. not only were you going to be attending alone, but you didn't even have any outfit for Midsummers planned.

you sat up as an idea hit you. you rushed back to your wardrobe and pushed it all to the side. it was a dress you had gotten last year for Midsummers, but had ended up wearing something your mom had given you. but this dress? this dress was made for you.

it was an elegantly inclined cream floral print wrap maxi dress. it had adjustable straps into a princess seamed wrap bodice, and a tying waist. you had tried it on and fallen in love, but had yet to wear it again. tonight was the night.

since your friends were busy planning a boating trip, you decided you would do some things to pass the time. your mom wouldn't tell you to start getting ready for a while, so you played the vinyl Rafe had gotten you while you went through your clothes to see what fit and what didn't - thankfully the dress still fit just as beautifully as last year.

time seemed to travel in slow motion. you had gone through your clothes quickly, read a few chapters in the book Pope had gotten for your birthday, rearranged all your jewelry, and sorted your makeup twice. it was barely two in the afternoon. before you started banging your head on the wall, you saw your phone light up.

i just drove past your house and heard some loud music. is your window open?

you quickly went over to your window, which was in fact open, and slammed it closed. you typed a reply as fast as possible, almost out of breath.

it was open, but i'm sorry you had to hear that

what could you possibly be sorry for? i bought you the vinyl, i'm glad you're actually listening to it

how'd you know it was the vinyl you got me if you were just driving by?

i may have listened for a bit longer than five seconds, okay? sue me

that led to the next two hours of you and Rafe texting back and forth on Instagram. it was surprisingly easy to talk to him. you'd never felt that ease before, even with Kie who was your closest friend. something about Kie basically being a pogue made it hard to be completely open with her. Rafe wasn't the cleanest, sharpest kook and talking to him about going around the world to actually being excited to wear a pretty dress to a party.

"Y/N, it's four-thirty. go ahead and get dres- why are you laying on the floor?" your mom asked, cracking your door open. you looked up at her, rolling over on to your stomach, "and turn your music down, it's so loud."

"sorry. i'll be down in a minute," you got up, pushing her out the door. you stopped your music and grabbed your phone again.

hey, i'm gonna start getting ready for tonight! i'll talk to you there?

i'll save you a couple dances, y/n x

you put your phone down on your bed and headed to the closet. it almost felt like you weren't moving fast enough. you were rushing to put on the dress. you rushed curling your hair, adding make-up. your wedges were last to be put on. you were so excited to go to this party. you weren't sure if it was because you wanted to attend a party or because you wanted to see Rafe.

even though you had been running around your room getting ready, you paused for a moment to look at yourself in your mirror. you looked as beautiful as ever, much prettier than last year at the same party. the finishing touch was your flower crown, which your mother had with her. you grabbed your phone and headed out of your room, going down the hall to your parents' room. your mom was sitting at the vanity, reapplying more lipstick as you entered.

"how do i look?" you spun for her. she stood up, smiling wide.

"you look absolutely beautiful, Y/N. where did this dress come from?" she asked, pulling on the fabric.

"i got it last summer. i ended up just wearing whatever you gave me," you shrugged, looking down at the dress. "it really is pretty, huh?"

"oh, let me go get the crown and it'll pull it all together," your mom went toward the closet.

"there you are," your dad said, coming into the room. "you look pretty, Y/N."

"thanks dad," you laughed. "mom's getting our crowns and then we should be good to go."

"yeah, i just got off the phone with Ward Cameron. he said he's on the way over to the club already. he mentioned that Sarah isn't going," your dad raised an eyebrow.

"oh, really?" you replied, eyes on your dress as you flattened it against your skin. "Rafe didn't mention it when we were talking earlier."

"you and Rafe have been talking," your dad stated. you nodded, looking up at him.

"yeah. he said he's gonna save me a couple dances - if that's okay," you raised an eyebrow.

"mm," your dad checked his watch. "yeah, it's fine. i just want you to have a good time. last year was kind of a mess since i'd just gotten home."

"here we are! some pink roses for you and some delphiniums for me," your mom smiled, handing over the crown. you shifted into view of the mirror, placing the crown on your head. it really did pull it all together. you saw your dad helping your mom with hers, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

in the backseat of your parents car, your leg was bouncing and you just kept playing with your finger nails. you were trying to figure out something to say to Rafe when you saw him. would you compliment him? would he offer to get you a drink? would you dance immediately? you couldn't even imagine what he was wearing, how good he probably looks. he probably had his hair fixed up, gelled back.  he was probably in blue, to match his eyes. you couldn't decide between a bowtie and a necktie, though. he could show up in shorts and a t-shirt and you would think he looked good.

you were really thinking of Rafe the whole ride over, and you would never forgive yourself for thinking of him like that. you were just friends, after all.

"come on, the valet is going to take the car around," your mom said, turning to look at you. "are you alright?"

"oh, yeah. just nervous. it feels like the first time all over again," you laughed, sliding out of the car. the sun was still pretty high in the sky, the sunset happening sooner than you thought it would have this time of summer. you followed your parents into the club, eyes scanning the crowd. you were looking for Rafe, but you would be happy with Topper or Kelce. he was always with them. as you walked outside, some applause came as you followed your parents in. they were smiling and waving, and you were trailing behind them.

"i'm so glad your daughter knows where her priorities lie," an older woman said to your mother as you stood beside her. you smiled slightly, looking around for a waiter with a drink. "that Carrera girl is never at the events, and lately the Cameron's oldest daughter has been skipping out. neither girl is here tonight."

you smiled politely again, excusing yourself. you were only partially annoyed. you liked exploring and doing what you wanted, just as the pogues did. sometimes it felt like you'd never fit in at all with the kooks. then you realize how much you enjoy getting dressed up and going to parties, and you would love to do it all your life. it just made your position really hard, and you were hoping you could find something to drink that would hopefully ease the pain of being exactly in the middle of the two groups.

you were passing through the throng of people when you began to notice people looking at you. you had never been eyed like this before, so your mind instantly thought something happened with your make-up. you opened the door to the club, a group of boys coming out. you scanned their faces until you saw Topper, Kelce, and Rafe coming out last.

"Y/N, right?" Kelce asked. Rafe's eyes came up from his glass and made eye contact with you. the bubbles in your chest started popping and you couldn't find words for a moment.

"yeah, hi," you waved slightly, glancing at him then back at Rafe.

"surprised you didn't dip like the other girls," Topper said, clearly angry that his now ex girlfriend was not present to entertain him.

"i'm sure they are having fun doing whatever they planned with the boys," you stood up a little straighter, almost daring Topper to say more. he and Kelce shared a look before heading out. Rafe was still where he stood as he watched you deflate back to normal, and you were surprised to see the smile on his face.

"you look, beautiful," he said, eyes roaming all over your body as he took in your outfit. "really beautiful." he was indeed wearing a pastel blue suit with his hair gelled back. the bowtie was surprisingly attractive on him, the whole outfit really.

just. friends.

"you clean up nice yourself," you said, already regretting it the moment it left your lips. he laughed though, and you were happy to hear it. you hadn't actually spoken in person in a while, and despite the occasional message and the two hour chat today, you were nervous around him.

"do you want a drink?" Rafe asked. you let out a breath with a smile, nodding. you followed him as he got you a drink, making sure it was exactly what you wanted. you two wandered around the outskirts of the party, making small talk to one another and sometimes the people around you. you could see your parents and his talking, laughing. it made you happy to know his parents liked yours and that yours his. at least there was no conflict there like with your friends.

"what do you think they are talking about?" you leaned against the railing, sipping your champagne.

"Sarah," Rafe said, finishing his champagne. "he always talks about Sarah."

"a lady told my mom she's happy i'm not like Sarah and Kie. that i know where i am supposed to be," you looked at Rafe. he was silent for a moment, staring at Ward and Rose as they continued to talk to everyone.

"he told me today that i need to keep a better eye on Sarah, that as her older brother i need to always watch over her and convince her to be at these parties. when i told him that he had Wheezie and me, he just kept going about Sarah. it's always about Sarah," Rafe turned to look at you, a mixture of emotions on his face. you felt for him, you really did. Sarah and Kiara weren't even your siblings and you got compared to them on the daily. it must be really hard to hold resentment for your sister when she didn't do anything except live her own life.

"Rafe, what do you want to do with your life?" you asked him, swirling the drink in your cup. he paused for a moment before letting out a laugh.

"i wanted to be a cop for a long time," he admitted. "it was literally my goal i think until i graduated. dad shut that down real quick."

"what made you want to be a cop?" you stood up a bit, leaning more toward him.

"we played cops and robbers a lot as kids. it was my favorite Halloween costume, i wouldn't take it off for days. i have always been a leader and up until graduation i was a perfectly good candidate to be a cop - hell even a Marine like your dad."

"and your dad didn't want that for you?"

"i think that as his oldest child, his son even more so, that i would carry on the Cameron name and business and such. i don't need a degree if i learn it all from him, so here i am staying home and learning the ropes. he probably thinks if i went off to school i'd major in something other than business and leave it all behind. as much as i hate my dad, i love him too. i couldn't just drop him like that."

"you know you don't have to do all that for him," you put your hand on his arm. "you don't have to give up on your dreams to please your dad."

"i have a record now anyway," Rafe shrugged slightly, forcing a smile. "following in his footsteps seems like the right thing to do."

"you could always take a cross country road trip to take a break for a while," you smiled, sipping. "i'm planning one for when i graduate."

"you aren't getting sent straight off to college?" Rafe shifted to stand in front of you. his head was tilted, listening intently to your answer.

"i'm taking a gap year, actually. i have a whole list of places i want to go to and i've been mapping it out on a map to make sure i see everything i want to see. if money and time permits, i wanna go to Europe too," you smiled. "i'll have to show you sometime."

"i'd like that," he smiled, taking a step back as the song changed. he held out his hand as well, extending it to you. "would you like to continue this conversation while we dance?"

"i didn't know this was the type of song you liked to dance to," you took his hand, leaving your drink on the railing.

"i promised you some dances," he looked almost hurt, like he had deeply meant his word.

"let's go dance then," you pulled on his hand. he interlocked your fingers as he led you to the grass. there was already tons of people dancing so he found you a spot with a bit less people. it wasn't quite a slow dance song, but once he argued that anything could be a slow dance song, you had to agree.

your arms were around his neck and his on your waist. the conversation did continue, the road trip talk becoming where you'd want to go in Europe. somehow you ended up on favorite cuisines and where was the closest place to go get them. he told you he knew of a really good Italian restaurant in Chapel Hill and that you two would have to go sometime. it felt and sounded like a date to you.

but, you were just friends.

you didn't exactly know why you were pushing that thought. it was probably the guilt that you were having a really good time as the sun sets with Rafe Cameron while your friends were out on a boat getting drunk. for once, you wanted to remember tonight. you were kind of tired of pretending that dancing with Rafe, as the conversation fell to a nice lull, wasn't making you want to kiss him. your head was against his shoulder as he held one of your hands, both of your empty hands wrapped around one another. it was nice to be in his embrace, to just be there with him. there was no second guessing, no worrying about anything. the sun setting had created a beautiful glow and you were happy to know you still had some time with him before your parents told you it was time to go, to talk to him, to hear him say your name when you got distracted. you were starting to become infatuated with this boy.

"do you want to take a break and grab a drink?" he whispered in your ear, spinning you in a circle slowly.  you nodded, pulling away from him. he held your hand and brought you back into the club, going straight to the bar. he got you the same drink as earlier. you two decided to go back outside, but more toward the way less populated part of the long wrap around porch the club had. his hand never left yours.

"i'm having a really good time tonight, Rafe," you told him as you two stopped along the railing. he smiled at you nodding.

"glad i could show you a good time," he told you. he reached up then, adjusting the crown on your head. "especially since you look so nice tonight. surprised no one else came to butt in for a dance."

"would you have let them?" you asked, mostly to tease him. he hadn't left your side since you had stumbled upon one another. you also asked out of curiousness, if he would have let anyone else even talk to you.

"no," he smirked. you leaned against the railing, smiling at him.

"not even Topper or Kelce?" you raised an eyebrow, laughing slightly at the idea of either of them attempting to dance with you. Rafe put his arms on either side of you as he gripped the railing, his face inches from yours.

"especially not them."

his voice was deep, his eyes burning into yours. he was so close to you. you wouldn't have wanted them to interrupt, you wanted to say. you wanted to tell him it wouldn't have mattered if he did let them slide in, you weren't about to give up that time with him. time with Rafe passed by like air was being breathed into your lungs for the first time. the laughter, the smiles, the playing with his ring on his finger. he gave you a feeling you didn't even know you had been missing. all those thoughts as he looked at you. he went to move away after a moment of staring, but your hand went to the back of his neck, pulling him back down and kissing him.

he was quick to move further in between your legs, his body towering over you still. your glass of champagne was long forgotten over the side of the railing as you tried to pull him even closer. he tasted like champagne and mint, and you wondered if you had ever tasted anything this good in your life. he was pressed up against you now, hands moving to your body rather than the railing. somehow he moved you to the wall, his mouth never leaving yours. his hand came to your neck as he bit your bottom lip slightly. he pulled away, hand on the side of your neck and the other on your hips. yours were on his suit jacket, continuously pulling him closer.

"i didn't take you as the type to make the first move," Rafe mumbled, rubbing his thumb on your cheek.

"you were pulling away," you tugged on his jacket. "i wasn't going to let the moment go to waste."

"i promise you," Rafe said, leaning forward again and squeezing your skin. "the moment would have never gone away."

"have you seen Y/N and Rafe?" you heard your dad's voice. Rafe practically jumped off you, fixing his suit as you fixed your dress. your dad came around the corner, your mother attached to his arm.

"there you are sweetie," your mom said. "we're heading to the car, so say your goodbyes and come on out." your dad didn't speak, just stared between you and Rafe for a moment before walking your mom out. that feeling in your chest was back and strong as you and Rafe laughed. he did grab your hand though, pulling you back into him.

"tonight was far too short," he whispered, playing with your hair.

"there's always Italian in Chapel Hill," you told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "walk me out?"

Rafe held your hand all the way out the door, his thumb rubbing over your hand. he was so sweet, showing so much physical attention. the eyes you'd felt on you earlier were back, and they were much more focused on your interlocked hands. the door to the lot came too soon and you were hugging each other like he didn't live down the street.

"before you go," Rafe said, causing you to pause. "how about Thursday we get Italian?"

"not tomorrow?"

"tomorrow i wanna see the map."

[tricewithaz]

THOTS ON SHADOW AND BONE

Hello everyone! it is I, Trice, and i come with my thoughts on the Shadow and Bone show cause ive got many

I'm gonna divide this in what i liked, what i disliked, and what i think could have been better but didn't really bother me. Feel free to send your opinions too!

As a whole, I really liked the show and I think it's a great adaptation that both fans and newcomers will enjoy. It's super well done! and every episode had me glued to the tv even though I knew what was going to happen.

Beware this is long

To start,

What i liked

Mal and Alina

I never really liked Mal in the books, mainly cause he had like, nothing going on for him, and not having his pov made him no favors whatsoever. Alina's perception of him was everychanging, two factors that didn't make him unlikeable necessarily, but that made me not want to read about him. In the show he's way more likeable and even though he still doesn't have a lot going on for him, you can see that he's always trying to protect alina, and you also see a bit of his demeanor through Archie's acting. I think he made a great job at portraying him. And Alina! Alina who in the books was essentially a y/n sort of character (although she did get better over time), her character, likes, dislikes, her DRIVE was incredibly portrayed in the show. Also Jessie (loml, marry me) and Archie have incredible chemistry together and they sold their yearning SO WELL (and so did the kid actors portraying them as children oh my GOD)...yall...i cried when they held hands. My favourite scene was definitely when Alina took care of Mal's wounds (a favorite trope of mine). And the HURT in their eyes whenever they thought the other was in danger....i saw the show dubbed but I'm sure their voices made it beyond incredible as well, their face acting was just on. point. Overall the show rEALLY makes me root for them both individually and together which is something the books didn't manage to do.

The Darkling

AAAAA i really enjoyed the Darkling omg, incredible charisma, Ben does such a great job (and so did his voice actor in Spanish oh my GOD). His acting was just as I imagined it in the books and i loved how he could be as sweet and mysterious as he could be menacing. In fact! i liked him more than i did in the book, and i think it was a great choice to make him more human. I'm not sure if this was Ben or the writing, but i could really see his yearning for an equal, for Alina, his loneliness and his thirst for power and control too. Great love interest, even greater villain. And his wardrobe was phenomenal. I also really liked how they implied that The Darkling was a name given by other people, it was very believable that people would call someone who literally controls shade something akin to "son of the dark" or something of the sort, instead of it being a name he gives himself or his job title (both if which are incredibly pathetic and cringy to think about).

Jesper

No comments. He was just great. I love Kit.

Nina

Omg Danielle did SUCH a great job at portraying Nina, it's exactly how i imagined her in Six of Crows.

Helnik

THE. YEARNING. THE. CHEMISTRY. I didn't love their scenes at the boat but once that was over I was practically screaming at the screen to jUST KISS ALREADY. Calahan and Daniell have such good chemistry together and the few changes they made only served the story better. I did wish they had development over more time cause Matthias' change of mind felt too quick, but i get why they had to rush. Because of how good their chemistry was, their fallout also was incredibly painful.

Inej's fear of the Menagerie and her morals

Amita's portrayal of Inej's hurt, devotion and her refusal to kill (and later hurt cause she has killed) is incredibly subtle but so SO effective. She's so talented really and truly sold Inej's feelings throughout the show.

VFX

Man.....the fold, the volcra, the grisha powers.....kudos to the animators and overall artistic team cause they were incredible. Also seeing the different title animations in each episode was such a tiny detail that made me so excited and they all looked so good.

Ketterdam

Again, kudos to the artistic team, everything about Ketterdam felt so alive (and weirdly moist), truly sold a kind of aesthetic and life that is so characteristic if the Barrel, even when i didn't imagine it that way in the books.

David

He appeared like, twice, and both times were so cute and charming I can't wait to see more of him both on his own and with Genya.

The Wardrobe

So, at first i hated the keftas. I thought the looked tacky and costume, but when you see them on screen they're just perfect (although i have to say the patterns on some of the keftas were kind of...cheap looking? and the training keftas were just kinda boring. My favourite was the Darkling's. Aside from that, i really liked Kaz's and inej's clothes too. Very distinctive and recognizable (although it was kind of weird seeing Inej in teal instead of purple lmao).

And the queen's dresses. Chefs kiss.

It's...so cheesy (affectionate)

The whole show felt like the kind of movies I would watch as a kid like Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean. The writing was stylized enough to make it incredibly dramatic and overall there was just so much heart behind all of it. Definetely a show to watch again and again and feel all of it, cause that's what it being so cheesy managed, to make me actually feel for it. It feels like something to watch on a rainy afternoon after a bad day....it's great okay i really enjoyed it, even (specially) the most unbelievable parts of it. And here's the thing, it's something that i think a lot of newer tv and film have lost, so this is good.

What i didn't like

Zoya

Mostly cause of the writing. Originally, in the first book, i didn't like her, neither as a character (stereotypical mean girl with no other motivation than to bang the love interests....all three of them....what's new i still think it's an incredibly sexist trope) or a person (hey at least this was intentional), but over time i grew to LOVE her (mean girl turns out to have a good heart and actually respects the mc and decides to fight alongside her cause it's what's right, without necessarily liking her or giving up her character??? AND she has strong motivations??? now THAT'S new). In the show, i hoped they would keep her mean girl nature while foreshadowing her depth, but all they did was turn her into a petty seductress with barely any screentime, and that only makes her not even a bad antagonist but just a boring character to watch. Not only that but they took away a big part of her character that needed to be developed in the next books. I wanted to watch her rivalry with Alina, her unjustified venomous tongue too, I wanted to be entertained by her and I wasn't. This was also a problem cause when she finally changed teams, and when she hugged Alina, it was incredibly unsatisfying, it would have had a way stronger effect if we had seen her being Ruthless Zoya with a big ambition. I also didn't like how we were told that she didn't like alina, or that she had a family, instead of it being shown on screen. Just from the show, all i can tell you about her is that she likes to bang people and she has a good moral code i guess. Yall, I'm so petty about this.

Kaz

So, I didn't hate him, in fact i think I would have enjoyed him if I hadn't read the books first, cause the two things that bother me about him were two essential characteristics of him in the books. FIrstly, he seems so strained, instead of the seemingly laid back, almost chill looking (even though we know he's not chill at all) Kaz we see in the books, the Kaz that always knows something that you don't. Show Kaz doesn't seem to always be in control, to always have the last word, the last laugh. Instead he seems strained, all the damn time. And I think this is mainly a writing and directing issue. And he also seems weak, something Book Kaz would never do. This is also an issue cause because he doesn't have the same presence he has in the books, the times where he is weak, don't seem as effective. Sure, Pekka Rollins has essentially reduced him and humiliated him, but I haven't seen enough of Kaz being actually dangerous for this to be shocking and for Pekka to seem even more hateable (and, i really liked Pekka, loved him as an antagonist more than i did in the books). Idk, Kaz was so charismatic and just fun and engaging to read in the books that his portrayal in the show felt lacking.

Alina's power's VFX

The little suns were cute and all but the light coming from within her was just ugly I'm sorry.

SFX

A lot of the sound design was just too stylized for the tone of the show i think. I particularly remember the sound of Mal's punches....what's that about.

What i think could have been better, but didn't particularly dislike

The Crows' storyline

And i think part of this is a consequence of Kaz not being as witty as he was in the books. Where's the incredibly complicated heist moves? the even more unbelievable C and D plans when something goes wrong? I didn't like that them getting Alina was essentially just luck, cause i didn't see enough of them being smart and quick on their feet. I also think it was unnecessary to have their storyline mixed with Alina's, i would have enjoyed watching a different heist, maybe in Ravka as well, and them incidentally crossing paths with Alina, more than i liked this storyline. ironically enough, the heist was the part i was least interested in

Genya and Alina

I just feel like her relationship with Alina wasn't strong enough, and i think it's because the show tried to make us believe they were much closer than they were without spending the necessary time in them.

Overall, I really really enjoyed the show, i will be watching it again (particularly cause i want to watch it in English) and i cannot wait for the second season omg (although i have to say, I'm scared for Nikolai)

I think that's all! I would also love to read yall's opinions and have a conversation.

[piscesparker]

Undercover Lovers

Mob!Tom AU

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Your visits to the mansion became more and more frequent than expected and practically every second day you and Tom, spent "getting to know each other." Soon enough you realized that it made you deter from your mission.

It was just another regular morning when you woke up next to Tom, admiring his freckles and the little adorable snores that left his mouth, but no, you didn't give in, you had to focus on your mission. Getting out of the bed you picked up one of Tom's shirts which was discarded on the floor last night and carefully made your way out of the room, to find out what he's behind and take him down.

Walking down the empty hallways you admired the various paintings and artifacts just lying around, when a certain door caught your eye. There was something about that glossed wooden door that pulled you towards it; the room looked more posh than the hallways which was a given since he had a "company" of his own. Rushing towards the desk drawers you quickly began to search for something, some file, that could be potential evidence against them. You were so engrossed in searching for it you didn't notice someone standing near the doorway.

He caught your attention by clearing his throat, getting up quickly from your squatting position you meet the blue eyes of the man standing, hands across his chest, "Looking for something?" Harrison asked sternly.

"I see your thumb's all better," You retort back avoiding the question. He scoffed, looking at the injury you gave him. "you're pretty bad for a marksmen though, you missed your best friend."

"I wasn't aiming for him, and I know you're trying to avoid the question."

"Maybe," you shrugged, "what are you going to do about it? Tell him? He won't believe you, I have him wrapped around my finger, and you can't do anything about it."

"You think you're so smart-"

"I know I am." You cut him off.

"But just you wait," he laughed, "soon enough he'll realize how you're playing him and we'll take you and the government down." He threatened.

"Ooo I'm scared." You say blankly. Harrison knows what he's doing and he knows that you've gone soft for his best friend, he just needed some more time to execute his plan.

--

Tom spending more time with you resulted in loosing is focus and responsibility to the mob, It was yet another afternoon when he came back after a date with you.

"Where the hell have you been?" Harry yelled at his older brother who just entered, "I've been calling you for hours!"

"Okay calm down dad," Tom smirked, "What's wrong? You seem tense."

"Come on." He said leading him into his office where Harrison and Sam were already seated.

"It's about fucking time you showed up!" Sam barked.

"Ok what is up with you people why are y'all mad at me?" Tom asked as he took his seat in front of them.

"Here," Harry said as he shoved a file in his hands. Opening the file, the first thing he saw was your beautiful face and then read the paper attached with it, Y/n L/n aka Jane Bond aka 007 . His eyes went wide and then he looked at the three boys sitting in front of him, and then he turned to Harrison who was giving him a 'I told you so' look.

"Well what do we do?" Harry interjected.

"I have a plan," Harrison said getting everyone's attention,"but lover boy here must agree." He said as he stared at Tom's panic stricken face.

--

"So what do you think?" Harrison asked everyone in the room as he elaborated his plan.

"Honestly, I think its great! Tom?" Harry quipped. Tom was sitting back in his chair still thinking if it was the right decision.

"So lemme get this straight," he began as he sat up straight,"you want me to get closer to her, make her fall in love with me and then take her and the government down before they take us down?"

"Precisely!"

"Looks like that's what we're gonna do." He sighed, but deep down he didn't want to show the boys that he's already in love with you and is scared of hurting you; he still wanted to prove he was tough and doesn't go soft for the most beautiful girl he's ever seen.

--

"So 007, what do we know so far?" M asked.

"Well we know that on the night of the gala, Harrison wasn't there to take Tom down but he's coming for me."

'What is he playing at?' M thought to herself, "007, we need new information and we need them fast!" M ordered. You, Moneypenny and Q exit M's office, when Moneypenny pulls you aside to talk to you,"Y/n, I need to ask you something, but you have to answer truthfully," You nodded, "are you falling for him?" You didn't say anything, instead you hung your head.

"Is that why you've been so distracted? This is not professional 007, you could be in trouble."

"I know that, but its just that," you sighed,"I can't get him out of my head, and yeah its unprofessional, but he's different."

"Yes, because he's England's biggest mobster!"

"His job doesn't define him, he's really nice." You admit. It was true what Moneypenny asked, but you weren't just falling for him, you were head over heals for him now and was he. The two of you thought the other was faking it so neither of you wanted to admit how you really felt, for Tom it was the fear of his best friend where as for you it was M.  

--

"Now where are you going?" Harrison asked, exasperated.

"Calm down I'm just going doing what you asked me to do." Tom answered.

"Well just  try to be a little quieter when you two get back." He winked at his best friend, as his eyes went wide and cheeks red in embarrassment.

General Taglist: @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh​​ @peaches-parker​​ @veronica011sblog​​ @hollanderfangirl​​ @calltothewild​​ @parkerpeter24​​ @whatthefuckimbisexual​​ @musicalkeys​​ @rnatasha​​ @hollands-weasley​​ @peterspideysstuff​​ @ethereal-beauty-p​​ @parker-hollandx​​ @theonly1outof-a-billion​​ @miraclesoflove​​ @theliterarymess​​ @osterfieldholland01​​

Tom Holland Taglist: @words-to-accomplish-something​​ @asshatgrace​​ @spideyspeaches​

[rjhpandapaws]

I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS. I'm gonna send them one at a time though so you can keep them organized. first: coffee, starring Connor & Kamski, with optional guest star Chloe... pairings could include Connor x Chloe and one-sided Kamski x Connor (Kamski is attracted but Connor doesn't like him back), or no pairings at all

//Canonvese Chlonnor with one sided Kamski sounds fun.

They had a standing date, they would meet at Blue Beans, and android run cafe for coffee on Saturdays. It was Connor’s day off from work and the day that Chloe could easily slip away from her ‘job’ as an android medic at Jericho since they were the slowest days usually. A few hours every week where they could just be Connor and Chloe, rather then a detective and a doctor. It hadn’t always been dates, that had happened gradually. First, they were meant as a way to check up on Connor, see how he was handling deviancy. Elijah had com eon the first few, fascinated by both the cafe and Connor. Connor was slightly uncomfortable by this. One turn away to many and Elijah had stopped showing up. Chloe had apologized and things had moved along. The meet ups had stopped having an ulterior motive and they began to catch up on what had happened during the week. Chloe was learning a lot about herself, as was Connor. Chloe preferred dogs to cats, but if she could have a pet of her own she would prefer to have a bird of some kind. She preferred pants and nicer shirts over dresses and skirts. If he had a choice she preferred to go barefoot than be in shoes. She loved being able to help other androids at Jericho. Her favorite thing about her new found independence was the shift between being seen as one of Kamski’s Chloes to simply being Chloe. Over these handful of hours every week Connor found himself slipping, his professional façade fell away, and Chloe got to see a side of him that was reserved for close friends only. Gone was the stiff posture and thought through answers when he was around her, now he was relaxed and wide eyed, just as curious as always but now more of his questions saw the light of day after that.

Chloe learned a lot about Connor as well. He liked dogs, and the only thing stopping him from having on was that the apartment complex he currently lived in didn’t allow pets. He lived vicariously through hank and Sumo. He preferred jeans to slacks, converse to the shoes CyberLife had given him. He had developed a taste for bright shirts and graphic tees. He only wore ties at work anymore. He had changed hos hair from what it was originally programmed to be to something with a little more of a wave to it. Connor was certain he was the one who fell first, crossed the line from friends to having a crush. Hank had teased him endlessly about it. Chloe was so easy to be around and it was easy to lose track of time when he was with her. She was gentle, kind, and had such wild curiosity, she wanted to experience everything. She could ease Connor back from his anxiety when work got to be too much.

It came to the open air about three months ago. They always interfaced quickly at the end of the meeting to see how their schedules lined up. A lot of what Connor had been feeling crossed over in the connection before he was wise enough to cut it off. It was too late by then, Chloe knew. Connor panicked but it was put to ease by her smile. “I like you too.” She had said aloud, and the balance had finally shifted.

Almost a year on since then, Connor found himself walking to Blue Beans with a smile already on his lips. This was the highlight of his week. Chloe was waiting outside of the cafe and smiled when she saw him. When he got over to her they hugged and he kissed her cheek. “Hey Chloe.” He said when they pulled apart. He smile was just as bright as his. “Hey Con.” She took his hand and they headed inside. These dates were simple but they both seemed to adore them equally. Their synthskin had fallen away where their hands were connected, and love, joy, and relaxation rolled over the connection. It rolled between them at a gentle pace.

They ordered their drinks, an Iced Thirium coffee for Chloe and Connor had gotten a hot thirium based coffee preferring warm drinks to cold. Chloes smile only grew as they sat down, she had something on her mind and she looked like she might burst with it. They got through the usual small talk and found themselves holding hands again when she finally couldn’t take it anymore. “I found a place that allows pets.” She said in a rush. Connor’s curiosity was piqued, he tilted his head and squeezed her hand so she would continue, “I was um... Would you like to move in with me when your lease is up?” Connor’s mind ground to halt. How many times had he thought about this? Getting to see her more than a couple times a week, “I would like that.” He finally managed after a long almost awkward stretch of silence, “I would love to live with you Chloe.” They made plans on when they would move. She still had a place at Jericho and could wait until Connor’s lease was up. Connor felt like he was operating on autopilot, part of him still caught on the wonderment of getting to spend everyday with Chloe. When early afternoon rolled around they headed out. He kissed her softly before they parted ways and sent as much love as he could over the interface. “I love you too.” She said when they pulled apart.

There was nothing that would be able to bother Connor this week, not after this.

@i-am-therefore-i-fight

(Prompt from this list)

[peterknowsshit]

Road trip (Leg 2, Part 1) Engagement at the Beach

Peter:

-With Arizona and all the glittery fun behind us, we found ourselves in California. I had been dying to get my Pretty Bird to a beach, and now I finally was going to have the chance. Sure, Texas had some. But nothing beats the California ones. There was one in particular that I had in mind to show her. I had only been there once before. But the second we decided to add this part of California to this leg of our trip, I knew that was the one I wanted to show her. It would require a little bit of a hike. But I knew she was good for it. And the payoff was so worth it. We would have privacy and a view. Both pluses in my book. Pulling the bus into one of the parking spots for the main beach, I killed the engine, and just gazed out the windshield at the rolling waves in the distance for a few seconds before turning my attention to @MyJokersWild- You ready, baby?

Tori:

Am I ready? [Smiling ear to ear when you pulled in to park, I gazed out that same windshield for a moment before turning my full attention to you. This trip had so many legs to it that each pitstop we came to was just another item marked off the bucket list. So far, we had stopped in Arizona, Nevada, and New Mexico, was not that long ago from our sights. Each one more amazing than the last and this time, your destination of choice did not disappoint either. The views in sunny California were already stunning.] Of course I am! [Giving a soft nod of my head, my smile permanent, I reached for your door handle to let myself out, climbing right over into your lap to give you a kiss before doing just that.] You've been so secretive about this place, Peter Pan. Show me what it's all about.

Peter:

-my brows popping when you opt to climb over my lap to get out instead of using your door. Instinctively moving my hands to your hips and giving a playful squeeze when you kiss me, and letting out a disapproving sound when you climb out of my lap- We are revisiting that later. -offers you a smirk and a wink before climbing out of the bus myself, and shutting the door shut- I’m glad you chose those shoes. -drops my eyes to the shoes you had put on today- Instead of flip flops. -waves my hand in the direction of the wide expanse of beach in front of us- This is nice. But it’s got nothing on where I want to go. Getting there wouldn’t have been fun in flip flops though. -moves around to the back of the bus while you’re getting Rilla out. Reaching for my black backpack and stuffing some special muffins I had stopped to pick up earlier in. Along with some Kool Aid pouches, and a few other necessities. Then leaning to make sure you’re adequately distracted before checking one last thing in the side pouch and grinning to myself before zipping it up and swinging the backpack on to my back- It’s not far. -slams the hatch closed and comes around the side to meet you and Rilla- Just rocky.

Tori:

Of course, we would be revisiting that, mine. I did it on purpose. [Alright, enough with the torture.. Laughing this time, I watched as you gave me that look and went to the back to get ready, knowing we would be needing some supplies as I bent down to tie my sneaks with a double knot. Poor Rilla was already giving me the what for as I made my way over to the side door finally and I let him out too.] I'm sorry, boy. Lets get you ready. [The beach did look fantastic but I was growing more curious by the second of this secluded paradise you had been describing to me and I clip Rilla's leash on him, slamming the door shut before I meet you on the other side of the bus.] Rocky, I can do. I think a bit of a hike could be fun. You ready to lead the way?

Peter:

-places a hand at the small of your back and pulls you closer for a lingering kiss. Only stopping with a chuckle when Rilla starts to bark his disapproval at all this standing around- See those rocks built up over there. -points off to the west where there seems to be a natural end to the beach- That’s where we’re headed. -pulls my sunglasses from the top of my head and pops them in place with a grin before taking your free hand and guiding you across the sand-

Tori:

Okay, Rilla, we're going, boy! [Letting you take the lead after that lingering kiss, I can't help but give your hand a squeeze as we make our way down the beach. Rilla's own excitement bubbling over as he tugs on the leash to pull us faster. Having been cooped up for too long in the bus for his liking, I couldn't fault the young at heart old man for wanting to stretch his legs too. While there was no rush for either of us, no itinerary to keep up to, we were pretty much on our own for a Tuesday afternoon once we had broken away from the small group of people that had along the way had laid claim to their own spots on the beach. Our eager feet carrying us swiftly to the starting point of our hike.] How far up are these rocks, mine?

Peter:

Not high at all. -glances over my shoulder at the smattering of humans spread out on the beach in various places- They are just too lazy to figure that out. -brings my attention back to yours with a wink- Lucky for us. -takes the leash from you now- I’ll take Rilla though. I don’t want him to knock you off balance. And there’s going to be at least one place I’m gonna have to lug his ass. -allows you to start out ahead, smirking to myself at how the view I was getting was an added bonus then follows you up the sides of the rocks-

Tori:

[I had a feeling the suggestion of taking Rilla was heavily laced with more than the good manners you were undoubtedly raised with as a human. A tall, warm blooded male human at that.. So.. Of course, that didn't bother me in the slightest and I made sure to give you the best show of your life with my hips and ass playing the leading role in the slight peeks you were given. Climbing up over one rock, the boulders starting to cluster closer the further I went before it started to taper off. Waiting for you to catch up to me, I took a glance over my shoulder to see how far back you were and if you needed help with Rilla when I saw you were almost right on top of me with our boy in your arms.] You want me to take him?

Peter:

-looks down at his grinning spoiled ass in my arms and laughs- I got him. But what I do want you to do is check this out. -guides you a few more feet to the right and over one last rock before the view opens up- It’s all downhill from here. -sets Rilla down, stumbling a little when he attempts to take off down the path toward the beach, and ultimately just lets his leash go so he can run off ahead of us to our own private cove-

Tori:

[Just a few more feet and one more rock before the view took my breath away for I don't know how long. Reaching the clearing, I just stood there, soaking it all in before your voice and Rilla's broke through, catching my attention too.] You've been here before? [I couldn't help it. I literally gasped at every new sight I took in as we made our descent back down.] This is gorgeous.. Baby... [Gazes over to you finally and squeezes your hand, letting you pull me when I see that grin of yours widen further and I whistle for Rilla to hold up. Not wanting him to wander too far away from us when we finally reach the sand.]

Peter:

-I had to stop myself from pulling a Rilla and yanking you now as my excitement grew with each new gasp you let out- Only once before. I’ve been dying to show you this since we first started making plans for this trip. -chuckles, coming to a stop when we finally reach the sand- I doubt anyone will be joining us either. -releases your hand to pull my backpack off, dropping it on the ground so that I can squat down and pull out a couple of beach towels, and holding one out to you- I have Kool Aid and some special muffins. -catches your eye with a smirk to make sure you caught the meaning behind that- Or we can chill here...swim. Whatever my Pretty Bird wants.

Tori:

Whatever I want? [Ponders this for all of two seconds before giving you a wink.] What if I want both? [A kid at Christmas had absolutely nothing on you in the excitement department. It practically radiated off of you like a 1970's San Francisco heat wave once we reached the landing you had chosen and we pulled up some sand. Quickly rolling my towel out, I give it a quick "pop" before laying it down. My eyes never leaving yours once I do.] I'm down for whatever you had planned for us. I know one thing, I'm taking off these shoes. [Rilla was already snooping around your backpack with you, wanting his own beverage of choice while I worked at the knots I had made on my sneaks.] You really think it will just be us out here? [The wheels were already turning when shoe number one went, then number two.] No tan lines..

Peter:

-the mention of no tan lines had my brain misfiring as I froze in place, my eyes the only thing moving as they quickly flicked over to you to make sure I wasn’t missing anything important- I am confident that we will have no visitors. -looks over my shoulder at the rocks we just crossed over then back at you, bringing my hand up so I can tap my temple, signaling my gift- As a matter of fact, I know it. -falls back on my ass now when Rilla nudges me, and laughs- Listen, man. When a woman says something like that, you have to give her your full attention. -digs through the backpack for the collapsible dog bowl and a bottle of water, setting the dude up so he’ll get off my case-

Tori:

[Part of me knew it really didn't matter. If the likes of anyone were to round the bend, and cross over those rocks, I knew you would probably be up topside to greet them before they could fully acknowledge my naked ass. Even so, I laughed as I watched you with Rilla, taking the opportunity to tug on the back tie of my top and dropping it to the ground first, my bottoms went next before I got comfortable on my towel beside you, and stretched out, basking in the sun and your stare for a moment.] You hungry for a muffin yet, mine?

Peter:

-thank fuck I already had my ass planted in the sand. Because the sight of all that sun kissed skin never ceased to rendered me temporarily stupid as I allowed my eyes to trail over every last inch. The smirk on your face as you kept your eyes closed, enjoying the heat, let me know that you were well aware of my gawking, and I let out a low chuckle- I’m hungry for something all right. -refocusing on the backpack, I plucked out the two muffins I had picked up earlier before scooting my way closer to you, careful not to kick up a bunch of sand as I did- They’re blueberry. -grins proudly at that fact as I hold one out to you-

Tori:

Blueberry! Really? This is the most perfect date, mine. [Between the view, you and the blueberry goodness I now held in my hand, I knew my night was about to be made. You knew they were my favorite and as I propped up on one elbow, turning toward you when you handed me my mine, I leaned in further to press a tender kiss to your lips when you met me half way, naturally so.] I don't think this could get any better. Beside well, obviously, the muffin. Your kisses. You. [Laughing softly, I only pulled back long enough to slide the blueberry muffin up between us, giving us each a big ole bite. Humming softly as I began to chew with you.]

Peter:

-watches you with a playful glint in my eye as you speak- You sure? There’s nothing else that could make this day even better? -takes the offered bite, and takes my time chewing as I wait for your answer-

Tori:

Is @Snoopdogg going to pop out and smoke a blunt with us later? [Quickly, taking another bite to hold back my laugh, my smile was infectious once again when that memory comes to mind. I was only somewhat kidding but seeing you give me that look again, I was two stops short of pretty bird wasted as we liked to call it. Holding your gaze, I swallowed those last few bites I had and moved to lay back on my elbows again, watching you for a moment longer as I really gave the question some thought.] Are you going to make some fireworks? Paint the sky?

Peter:

Funny you should mention Snoop. -pauses long enough that you glance over my shoulder as if you’re expecting him to start descending the rocks next and chuckles- Unfortunately, he won’t be making it. But, I did get you this. -unzips that side pocket of my backpack meant for laptops and pulls out a box, waiting for you to sit up a little again before holding it out to you-

Tori:

Are you serious right now? Is it really his stuff? I love it! [Sitting up a little straighter when I see you go for a box, I pull it over into my lap for a better look with you when I flip the lid back open, seeing the bong inside. My laugh carried across the waves next as I started to look around you to the bag, then back to you once more.] You want to load it now or wait? You feeling your muffin yet?

Peter:

I’m always down to load it. -smirks- But wait. There’s a little more. I also got you an extra accessory to go with it. -digs a little deeper into that same pocket, pulling out a smaller box and palming it so that you can’t really make out what it is first. Taking your left hand in mine, and clearing my throat- Fuck. -chuckles nervously- You know I suck at words and feelings and shit, yeah? So, don’t hold my lack of suave against me when you answer. -Watches you for a few seconds until you humor me with a nod of your head and starts again- I have tried the love thing a couple times. Failed a couple times too. But this time around, things are so damn different. I mean it when I say, I am convinced you were molded inside and out specifically for me. My pretty bird. -grins wide- There isn’t a single damn thing I would change about you. But there is something I want to change about us. -finally reveals the little brown heart shaped box in my hand and flicks it open with my thumb to reveal the ring inside- Will you complete our little family, and marry me?

Tori:

[If there was ever truly an out of body experience, this was it... I knew something was up but when I saw the new bong I really thought that was it. Maybe some literal sex on the beach a little later and let's be honest, after this, it was for sure happening now BUT as I listened to you pour your heart out, those words you thought sucked so bad, struck so deeply. The arrow you fired met its intended target, me. Of course, it was then that the muffin really hit and only a soft sigh left my lips as I grasped fully what you had asked me at the end. Marry you. That really happened. And now, just now. Sitting up with a start fully, you still had my hand and was holding the box. Waiting for that answer.] Oh, Peter... [Those terms of endearment I gave didn't seem nearly enough. Your words were on repeat in my ears.."There isn’t a single damn thing I would change about you. But there is something I want to change about us." Yes. Yes, a million times, yes. There I was, naked as the day I was born being proposed to and nodding my damn head like my life depended on it. To the outside world, to anyone that truly knew us, it kind of did.] Yes, I will be your pretty bird forever. [I was, heart, body and soul, but watching you slip that ring on my finger, that bong was forgotten about as I moved to climb into your lap, my lips seeking out yours instantly.]

Peter:

-blows out the breath I was holding when you agree on a chuckle before welcoming you into my lap, one of my hands sliding up into the back of your hair to keep your lips against mine for a slow, tender kiss while the other rests at the small of your back, and allowing the kiss to linger a little longer before slowly releasing your lips with a grin- I fucking you love you, baby. And I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.

Tori:

And I love you. You're still all I see and you make me the happiest pretty bird on the planet. [It was true. From the moment you had come back into my life, you had been this light in what had been a rather dark chapter. Forcing me to want more than I ever wanted for myself with a gentle kindness that you bestowed to me all those moons ago. Bringing my lips to yours again, I got real comfortable then, having no shame when my body fused to yours, my hips rocking as I spoke low. Those swim trunks absolute torture by now I was sure.] What all did you bring in that back pack, mine? [Nipping at your bottom lip, I laughing again too.] I want to stay the night out here.

Peter:

-lets out a low groan when you rock your hips against me then grins up at you, my fingers brushing through your hair now- Luckily, I somehow knew you would want that too. And I figured you wouldn’t mind sleeping under the stars, yeah? -reaches over with one hand, patting the backpack- I’ve got all the necessities for a night out here. Just us and the beach. -winks-

Tori:

You got it. Us and the beach. It couldn't have been more perfect, baby. [If we needed to hike back we could but for now, I wasn't leaving you or this cove. Rilla had settled down, gathering himself a drink before tearing into the back pack for a snack. A laugh escaped my lips again when I catch him and get him to park it before I turn my attention back to you, thinking a dip in the ocean could wait, wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of our engagement night in your arms.] #PrettyBirdWasted #PeterPanStoned

[spicycreativity]

Soft-Shoe Shuffle - Ch 3

Chapter: 3/12 Additional Notes: See Ch 1 for more information. Read on AO3 under "WizardGlick." Any formatting/italics errors are holdovers from AO3 that I was too lazy to fix. Chapter Content Warnings: N/A; ask to tag Excerpt: "Oh, you know." Janus waved a hand like he'd thought about this a thousand times before and was merely playing the conversation out as light entertainment. "Does a person have a 'true' identity?" "As opposed to a false identity?" Patton laughed weakly. Janus smiled at him without showing his teeth. Talk about being out of one's depth. It wasn't endearing. "Actually? Yes." "Oh," Patton said, recoiling in surprise. "Really?"

When you are born, you're afraid of the darkness And then you're afraid of the light But I'm not afraid when I dance with my shadow This time I'm gonna get it right

Janus woke up to the feeling of rough, low pile carpet against his face. He lay still for a moment, waiting for the buzzing in his head to die down so he could work out exactly what had happened.

That was easier said than done. He couldn’t stop shaking, nor could he feel his lips or fingertips, and a persistent brain fog made it difficult to concentrate.

Ah.

He’d fainted.

He opened his eyes to find Logan crouched next to him, one hand extended as though he’d hesitated in the process of reaching out to touch him.

“Janus?” Logan said, slowly and clearly. “Are you alright?”

“No, I’m dying.”

“Good to hear, I suppose.” Logan sat back on his heels. “Is telling the truth ordinarily so taxing on you?”

Janus wasn’t sure he wanted to answer that. “How did you know I was telling the truth?” he demanded, a little offended that Logan hadn’t even suspected that Janus might be manipulating him. He was the gatekeeper, the chessmaster; people were supposed to accuse him of lying.

“You hesitated,” Logan said.

“I hesitated,” Janus repeated, considering the implication of this. It made him want to hide his face. Perhaps he could implement a masquerade mask into his daily wear, something gold with Swarovski crystals.

“You don’t normally hesitate when you speak,” Logan said. “One might call you ‘glib.’”

Janus raised an eyebrow. “Why would they call me ‘glib’ when my name is Janus?”

“I believe spending time with Patton has begun to influence you."

A stab of panic did not squeeze Janus’ heart. “Don’t tell him I fainted.”

“I hadn’t planned on it. By the way, if you feel like you can sit up, you should drink something. I suspect you're dehydrated. The fainting spell was the biggest indicator, but your lips are also chapped. I was going to check your pulse, but I wasn’t sure if you would be comfortable with that.”

When he had processed what Logan had said, Janus nodded and sat up slowly, leaning on his second set of arms. Logan handed him a plastic cup with a bendy straw sticking out of it. Janus accepted it and examined the deep blue liquid. “What is it?”

“It’s Gatorade. Blue Cherry."

Janus took a tentative sip, then drained half the glass in one long swallow. He wasn’t embarrassed nor in any rush to leave, he just-- He was exhausted, that was all. He picked up his hat with his free hand and put it back on, pleased to see that his hands were steady. "It's been a hectic few days," he said, half to Logan and half to himself.

"You forgot to eat," Logan surmised. "I would have expected Patton to remind you."

Janus couldn't suppress an irritated twitch.  "He might have mentioned it in passing…"

"Ah." Logan smiled: a cautious, tight-lipped thing. "That's why you didn't want me to tell him."

"Yes, well." Janus finished the Gatorade and took a moment to self-assess. He felt less dizzy now. What else? "Logan?"

The bruises stood out against Logan's skin, blue-purple and sickly. Janus suddenly couldn't tear his eyes away from them. They even mimicked the shape of his crook.

"I'll talk to the others," Logan said. "I… I'm new to the idea of talking about, or even acknowledging feelings, but… You're right."

"Do tell."

The look Logan gave him was pointed indeed. "Refusing to acknowledge a weakness does not negate that weakness. It only makes things harder in the long run.”

"I'll keep that in mind, should I ever suspect I'm developing a weakness." Janus vanished the glass, since Logan had given no indication he wanted it back, and got to his feet. His head gave a little pulse of protest, but he forced himself to stay still until the room stopped spinning.

"I am curious," Logan said. "Did you actually have a question for me, or was that just a lie so I would let you in?"

"Why," said Janus, "is a raven like a writing desk?"

Logan's reply was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Logan? It's Patton. Again."

Janus held his index finger up to his lips.

Logan nodded.

Janus tipped his hat and sank out. He appeared in the living room and chanced a glance into the hallway. From this angle, he could only just see Logan as he opened his bedroom door to Patton. Janus quickly ducked back around the corner. He was a little too far away to make out words, but could hear the sound of conversation, then the sound of the door closing, then silence.

Janus smiled and sank down on the couch, knowing full well he would fall asleep if he allowed himself to close his eyes.

He knew he shouldn't. Even now, a small part of his brain screamed at him that he was in danger, that he was making a mistake with this show of vulnerability.

But exhaustion smothered him like a blanket, dampened the noise, pressed him down, down, down.

Janus closed his eyes.

--

Gentle noises emanated from the kitchen, the sound of quiet conversation.

Janus realized that he was now horizontal on the couch. Someone had draped a throw blanket over him. How… revolting . He wasn't a child; he didn't need--

He sat up and ripped the blanket off, cheeks blazing with heat. What was he doing ?

The idea that Patton and Logan had seen him sleeping was mortifying. Obviously Patton had been the one to cover him up, but the glass of Gatorade (complete with bendy straw) on the coffee table was obviously from Logan.

Janus took in a few slow, deep breaths. Then he picked up the glass and took a few equally slow, measured sips. There was no need to work himself up (even if his hammering pulse said otherwise). He was still in control. He was just a little shaky, which made sense, as the only things to enter his system in the past few hours had been coffee and Gatorade.

"Ah, Janus." Logan sounded far happier than he had when Janus had last spoken to him. Janus turned to look at him as Logan came around the side of the couch and perched on the very edge of an armchair.

"Logan." Janus inclined his head. Where was his hat? He spied it on the edge of the coffee table and put it on with a great show of nonchalance. "I take it you and Patton made up?"

"We had a conversation that greatly eased the tension between us, yes. He told me what happened between you and Roman."

Janus did not make a face, nor did he twitch irritably. "It was nothing, really. I'm sure he'll be over it soon."

"That's very optimistic of you, if a little unrealistic." Logan stood up. "Anyway. I came out to tell you that lunch is ready. I told Patton I was craving chicken soup. Coincidentally, chicken broth is high in sodium, fatty acids, and vitamins which contribute to cardiovascular health and recovery after instances of illness."

Janus couldn't help the smile that crossed his face, though he was quick to suppress it. Logan had lied for him.

If Janus swayed a little when he stood up, Logan was kind enough not to mention it.

It was warm in the dining room. Janus fussed with his gloves, trailing behind Logan. Just the idea of facing Patton made his heart flutter. How delightful. Remus may have been on to something after all.

But the moment couldn't be delayed forever, and soon Janus found himself seated at Patton's right elbow, trying not to be grumpy that he had set the table for five. It was an uncomfortable reminder of Virgil and Roman's animosity toward him, nothing more.

"Morning, Janus! Are you feline more alert after your cat-nap?" Patton asked.

Janus was spared having to come up with a response by Logan's interjection, "It's afternoon."

"Aw, it's barely a hair after 12:00!"

Patton laughed at his own joke and Janus realized with a heart-stopping stab of definitely-not-fear that he was out of his depth. As arbitrary as the line between 'good' and 'evil' was, the line had been drawn nonetheless and Patton had been the one to draw it. The curtain was still there, the tangible reminder that Janus had been seen and judged and sorted.

Now he stood in the light, in the space he had claimed for himself, and he had no idea who to be.

It was pure instinct to play along, to say whatever he thought Patton and Logan wanted to hear in order to draw them closer to serving his own ends. But what were they, now? What version of himself would Patton and Logan like best? Who was he, really?

His breath came fast and frantic, and he forced himself to swallow a few spoonfuls of soup in case it was his blood sugar making him so panicky.

"Janus?" Patton waved a hand in front of Janus' eyes. "You in there?"

Logan said nothing, but the furrow of his brow spoke volumes as he leaned in to get a better look at Janus.

"I'm," Janus said, "purrfectly fine." The next thing that slipped past his tongue would have been a mistake, except that Janus didn't make mistakes. "I was just thinking about the concept of self."

Patton didn't say anything, but he frowned thoughtfully. Probably trying to come up with a good philosophical cat pun.

Logan said, "Self?"

"Oh, you know." Janus waved a hand like he'd thought about this a thousand times before and was merely playing the conversation out as light entertainment. "Does a person have a 'true' identity?"

"As opposed to a false identity?" Patton laughed weakly.

Janus smiled at him without showing his teeth. Talk about being out of one's depth. It wasn't endearing. "Actually? Yes."

"Oh," Patton said, recoiling in surprise. "Really?"

"Per American philosopher Daniel Dennett," Logan said, and stopped with an abortive exhale. Janus tilted his head at him and Logan continued as though he had never hesitated, "there is no self. The entire concept of 'self' is a fiction invented by humans to help them make sense of their world."

Janus tensed his jaw. That was not what he had been getting at when he had broached the subject (had he been getting at anything?), but it seemed rude to derail Logan now, especially when he was in such an emotionally fragile state.

Well, if it meant not undoing all his hard work, Janus supposed he could approach the matter with (metaphorical) kid gloves.

"How can there be a false self if there is no self?" Patton asked, glancing between Logan and Janus with a frown.

"Dennett isn't the sole authority on the matter," Janus said, forcing himself to speak plainly.

Patton cocked his head like a confused puppy. For an unrelated reason, Janus' mouth went dry. "Then who is?" Patton asked.

"Often in philosophy, there are no objectively correct answers," Logan said.

Patton's look of befuddlement was a sight to behold. Janus wanted to reach over and ruffle his hair. It wasn't Patton's fault, after all, he had never had cause to engage with anything more morally complex than 'murder is wrong.'

Well, until recently.

"What about in terms of the static and the dynamic?" Janus said. Interrupted. It had been during a lull, yes, but compared to his usual push-pull approach, this was more akin to a sledgehammer.

His face heated up and he quickly slipped on a mask to cover what was no doubt an obvious blush. Pain pulsed behind his eyebrow, a relic of the headache he'd mostly left behind.

"What do you mean?" Logan asked.

"Better answer quick, before you sta-tick us off," Patton added.

Janus glanced down at his gloves, pretending to inspect the fingertips. "Is there a permanent state of the self?" He hastily added, "Assuming that the self does exist," to assure Logan that he had been listening earlier.

"If you asked David Hume--"

Janus pretended to look around in confusion. "That's funny, I don't remember asking for David Hume's opinion."

"Be nice," Patton chided.

Janus squinted at Patton, who developed a sudden fascination with the tablecloth until Janus looked away again.

"So, Logan," Janus prompted. "What do you think?"

"I think that there is not an objective correct answer. Were it necessary to have a working definition, then I suppose I would agree with Dennett's assertion that the self is an invention."

"I suppose that's why you brought it up first."

"On the contrary, it's because 'Dennett' comes alphabetically before 'Hume.'"

Janus couldn't help the laughter that exploded from his chest, couldn't even play it off. The joke was unexpected, nothing more. "And you, Patton?"

"Oh, um." Patton pushed his glasses up. "I don't really know if I'm qualified to talk about philosophy."

"Even if we promise not to judge you?" Janus purred, taking care to look Patton in the eye.

"Okay, um." Patton fidgeted with his spoon. "I guess the self is like a river?"

"Go on, Patton," Logan encouraged.

"It's always water, but sometimes it changes directions or does different things. The same river that floods a town can also provide drinking water."

Janus raised an eyebrow. "How insightful."

"Interesting," Logan said. "So in your interpretation, the self is both static and dynamic."

"I guess?" Patton said. "I'm still kind of confused."

"If you'd like, I could recommend you some reading on the topic. A surprising amount of Thomas' schooling included references to philosophy and critical thought."

"Oh, um. I don't know about reading, but maybe you could explain it to me sometime?" Patton glanced over at Janus like he'd just remembered he was there. "And you too, Janus, if… that sounds like a good use of your time."

"I'd have to check my schedule, but I'm sure I could reschedule my plans for world domination."

"I wasn't trying--" Patton put up his hands. "Was that mean? You just seem so busy all the time."

Janus only shrugged, wondering where this regard for his free time had been when Patton had made him play cards until 4:00 in the morning.

"Patton." Logan summoned his flashcards. "I believe Janus was ribbing you. 'Rib, verb, to poke fun at.'"

Janus nodded.

"Which reminds me," Logan said. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"Oh!" Patton raised his hand. "Because they both have inky quills."

For a moment, Janus and Logan just stared at him.

"Get it?" Patton said.

"That's clever," Janus said, still staring at Patton.

"Also because they both produce flat notes," Patton said, unperturbed. "And Poe wrote on both, but I don't know what the Teletubbies have to do with anything." He laughed at his own joke.

After the wave of pun-induced exasperation passed, Janus was left only with a deep, warm fondness glowing gently in his chest.

In the three seconds before he realized what the feeling was, he quite enjoyed it. Then realization struck, and terror and shame with it, and he looked at his wrist despite the fact that he never wore a watch.

"I do still have work to do today," he said apropos of seemingly nothing. He didn't glance at Patton in a tacit request for permission before standing up.

"Oh," Patton said, the smile fading from his face. "Um, okay. See you later."

Janus nodded and strode off.