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inkskinned · 2 months ago

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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

#spilled ink #warm up #oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT #hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not #“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books #and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say #they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.

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petricorah · 1 month ago

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something cozy for @marriedzukka [ids in alt]

(and thanks for everyone who joined the stream on this one!)

#zukka #zukka fanart #zuko fanart #zuko #sokka #atla #avatar the last airbender #atla fanart #myart #i was going to draw you them married but then this sort of happened. so i hope you still enjoy something just generally sweet

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caligatinsole · 2 months ago

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team dark.

#apologies for the less curated sketch from the first picture #I don't think I want to better clean it #the second pic has context #but it comes from something private so... no story for ya #I will never draw Omega again unless necessary #shadow deserves. EVERYTHING #I love him so. so much #sweet baby #shadow the hedgehog #sonic #team dark #shadow fanart #rouge the bat #general doodles

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mohntilyet · 4 months ago

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illario as the grandchild that is most like caterina is something i'm loving to chew on. the grandson that took her lessons to heart the most. kill anyone who sees your face and knows your name, "we are not revolutionaries", the first out of the two to prioritise the contract. power at any cost, and the only one to lean into the unnecessary abuse that their grandmother told them was tradition. why is anyone surprised he allied with the venatori? and then there's illario's considerable skill in infiltration and manipulating any mark, he has always had the charisma that lucanis lacked. illario isn't attached, he has/can/will use someone and immediately drop them; "that does free me from promises i don't intend to keep". he can lie about how much he cares so well that he fools a magister into believing he loves her. he kills zara without hesitation to cover his own tracks, meanwhile lucanis blindly promises a young girl in the middle of a siege that he will help her find her father. even the lessons about family stick with him, and in this entire messy power struggle, he never actually orders anyone to directly kill caterina or lucanis, not until he's backed into a corner.

and even after all that. despite even lucanis believing illario should be first talon, lucanis is still the better killer. illario is not strong enough to be the brutal assassin caterina needs him to be. so when lucanis seems to fill the role his mother left, grief and love for her dead heir apparent remains, and any of the other qualities caterina needs in her next talon doesn't matter. whatever his mother was, lucanis has to be. what illario does doesn't matter, because he will always be second best to caterina's memory of her favored daughter.

#<- guy who's only seen succession: this is just like shiv and logan #last point is kind of meta and hcish. idk how much caterina cared about her children and lucanis' mother. grain of salt everyone #but it would make sense to me. woman projecting her grief so hard it fucks up the next generation #at the end of the day realistically the best person to lead this criminal organisation is the sweet talker with no morals #who can rally their assassins and negotiate his way out of anything #not lucanis 'this crow has a heart' dellamorte. who i think would also be a fairer leader but #well. his leadership style would take a decidedly different turn. is that something he can afford as first talon??? like you know.#THE ASSASSIN GUILD? WITH THE VERY BLEAK HISTORY? 'WE'RE NOT HEROES ANYWHERE COUSIN' ?????#LED BY LUCANIS 'would rather endanger the mission than kill innocents' DELLAMORTE !!!!?#i would be less weird about it if the game acknowledged he's a 'kind' crow more explicitly and like #how this would change the crows. but realistically. and biasedly. i think illario makes a better (more morally grey too) talon #and also zevran should be here #anyways. im normal.#illario dellamorte #caterina dellamorte #lucanis dellamorte #dragon age #veilguard spoilers #dav spoilers #dav #edit: NOTE I AM SAYING ILLARIO MAKES. A BETTER TALON AND NOT A GOOD ONE #his number one dickriding glazer but i would not go that far. sorry babe.

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egophiliac · 10 months ago

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i love your riddle design so much, he's so pointy and british. so gracious. do you think he would enjoy a brazilian goiabada

thank you! ❤️🖤❤️ it's just. important to me on a level I can't explain that Riddle have an extremely pointy nose that he can stick into everyone else's business.

also goiabada is sweet and fruity and red, I think he would like it very much indeed!

not me stealth-editing because I forgot his antenna whoops

#art #twisted wonderland #me: riddle's nose is important to me (draws him without a nose)#a study in contrasts?#regardless it is my power as a fanartist to let riddle eat sweets and by god i'm going to use it #i also love british riddle. briddle. it's just RIGHT.#i think about how someday the anime will come out and get dubbed and riddle is going to have Generic Anime Boy Voice #instead of the most over-the-top prim little benedict cumberbatch accent like he does in my HEART #and the world shall be poorer for it. alas.#i also think it would be VERY funny if malleus had a super exaggerated french accent because something something french fairytale #i am probably alone in this however #(sorry still trying to catch up on everything!)#(all of my focus has been going towards Deadlines so hopefully i will have space to think...eventually :')#(i still have some main story things cookin' and i JUST finished tsumsted 3: the squeakquel so uhhh)#(there may be a bit of a flood at some point. you've been warned.)

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sonknuxadow · 3 months ago

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god shadow the hedgehog is so disabled . like im hesitant to label him as a canonically disabled character because i doubt that sega intended for him to be interpreted this way but also how could i see this stuff and Not think hes disabled

like oh your body functions differently from whats expected and you have to use certain devices to help you in your day to day life and you could seriously hurt yourself by not using them? okay . cool . tell me more about how youre not disabled

#also so sweet how maria helped design his inhibitors. THE DISABLED SIBLINGS 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#sonic x shadow generations #sxsg spoilers #im certain that shadow needing to wear his inhibitors or else his power will overwhelm him isnt new info #im just failing to think of any not shadow generations-related sources for it rn. sorry fake ass fan moment #but also i think the journal in particular is good evidence for the disability angle

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sporeclan · 2 months ago

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< Previous | First | Next >

You're WHAT?!?!?!?!

#clangen #clan generator #warriors oc #warrior cats #sporeclan #so if you guys didnt know. that wasn't supposed to be able to happen. check post linked above for explanation #btw little known fact but foxspeckle and piperdapple have been besties ever since oakfox kicked it and i find that so sweet <3 #also crowstar im so sorry girl your first death got overshadowed by piperdapple breaking the laws of the universe just to get preganant #you know they're getting old when whitecough takes them out </3 #sc moons #sc:crowstar #sc:fadedtuft #sc:rosemarypaw #sc:mousegrove #sc:oscypek #sc:foxspeckle #sc:lizardkit #sc:lizardpaw #sc:greenkit #sc:greenpaw #sc:finchwisp #sc:strawkit #sc:strawpaw #sc:soltalon #sc:carolina #sc:fennelacorn #sc:piperdapple #next few moons will be huge so it'll either take me a billion years or two seconds because of the sheer hype i have to draw them #tw animal death #tw illness

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cuppajj · 3 months ago

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the tree messages were super sweet this christmas!! there were a handful of baau rps among them, it was very funny

#ty everyone for the sweet messages in general!! im v happy i did this #beast ancients au #cjj arts #crk au

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beefcakekinard · 5 months ago

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top 5 times tommy kinard was husband-shaped

turns out i've got opinions about this.

5. attending a cowboy funeral (8x05)

you don't watch your beboiled boyfriend give a eulogy to a 200-year-old cowboy mummy in a full suit if you're not in it for the long haul. this is a show of commitment on the same level as promise rings.

4. getting that coffee (7x05)

who but a future husband would look at buck like this after being caught in the blast radius of his self-destruction on a first date?

3. bringing buck breakfast 'in bed' (8x05)

8x05 gave and gave and gave with acts of service tommy. you just know he set his alarm early enough so he knew he'd be up before buck, and he set his phone to vibrate so buck wouldn't hear it. he spoils his man and i love to see it.

2. taking care of buck (8x05)

fluffing his pillow (not a euphemism). changing his ice pack. sleeping on the couch with the smallest blanket in the world just so he'd be right there in case buck needed something in the middle of the night. related to the last entry, but disinct enough to deserve its own mention.

1. the loft dinner (7x10)

look. this is it for me. this is the moment that made me go oh. he is husband-shaped. i think this moment in particular gets overlooked because it immediately precedes tommy giving buck the green light to call him daddy, but look how soft he is! how concerned and caring - how attentive, to notice that buck was feeling off! this moment is unbeatable to me, but if the writers want to take that as a challenge, well, i certainly won't stop them.

#rose.txt #bucktommy #tommy kinard #my main criteria for husband shapedness wrt tommy are Soft. Sweet. and So so beautiful #shoutout to the WONDERFUL AND SUPREMELY GENEROUS GIFMAKERS who share their creations with us!!

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beaglesbites · 5 months ago

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