#and from now until the beginning of next summer I will solely teach online because of my uni schedule

[bluethedream]

nanami where are you I need you to support my decision to quit working forever

[nerdy-flower]

@sinunamor IT IS WRITTEN

Sorry for the heckin long wait ;^; here it is! Ernest Growing Up Part 3/3! (For now~)

(Ernest curses a lot and it’s a little sad at the beginning, otherwise it’s G)

It isn't working.

In spite of everything, Ernest came out of college doing kind of okay. He had an alright resume, a little pocket of savings, some furniture. Better than some kids he sat next to at graduation, for sure. He gets that coveted first apartment to himself- literally a room and a bathroom. The water pressure is like a dog lifting its leg and peeing on him and the neighbours are obnoxious, but it was his. He was paying rent! Utilities! Insurance, even! Life was looking up! Was.

He stayed in the city he went to school in, With his Pop's new condo a half hour away, it didn't feel so far. They'd have dinner all the time. Pop would give him tips on places to go and things to see. At one point, he says he wouldn't have moved here if he didn't know Ernest was staying. Ernest didn't have a great answer for that, tongue sudden;y stuck. They get froyo anyway.

His shit job became two shit jobs and then one again, then two, then three very briefly, then one with occasional paid-in-cash online ads stuff. Maybe illegal? Only in a tax law way, so whatever. He busts his ass- well, some of the time. Sometimes he half-asses it and gets paid anyway, other times he gets fired, depends on the place. What it comes down to is that he never has enough money. All the Gen Z-targeted personal finance advice blogs are shit, too. “Get a roommate!” For where? The cupboard under his kitchen sink?

Actually, in his postal code, someone might take it. But they'd be just as broke as him.

Even now, he feels spoiled and pathetic. Plenty of people just had to make do, they didn't have a Dad to send cheques in the mail, a stepdad to order them groceries online, a Pop to full-on spot them rent money. He tries and tries to make it work and he /can't./

Finally, he picks up the phone. “Dad?”

“Ernest? What's the matter? Is everything-”

“Can I come home?” With his stuff, he means, with the furniture he can't use anymore and his rejected debit card and-

Hugo makes this little noise, a very parental click of concern that sticks right in his chest. “Of course, always.”

Lucien drives him because he's been working solely off his laptop and following Pablo around the East Coast. Ernest isn't a hundred percent on what he does, but it's enough to pay for a rental van and a premium streaming account so commercials don't interrupt their drawn-out silence on the way back North to Maple Bay.

“Do you need to be an asshole about this? I said I was sorry, okay? I'll pay you back as soon as I get money, /god./”

“All I asked,” Lucien drawls, smartass as always. “Is if you wanted me to buy you a bagel. So I'll just buy your least favourite one and we'll carry the fuck on, shall we?”

Ernest officially hates everything forever, but mostly himself.

Dad and Damien welcome them home with big, awkward hugs and lots of understanding when he wants to go to bed straightaway and they left his room the way it was and /fuck/-

Pics or it didn't happen, as the young adults say. If no one sees him crying and hugging his teddy in his mid-twenties, it never took place.

His dignity drops a few more points the next day when he has to beg and plead with his Dad not to tell Pop.

“What if he goes to your place and you're not there?” Hugo insists, hands soapy from washing the dishes. “He'll be so worried!”

“He always calls or texts first, always,” Ernest thrusts another dried plate into the cupboard and balls his fists together. “I'm not gonna pretend forever, honest. /Please/, Dad,  just a few more days, that's all I'm asking. It's my thing to tell him, anyway!”

“Okay, okay,” Hugo holds his hands up in a peacemaking gesture. He tucks some overgrown hair behind his ear- shit, he's gone even more grey. His dads are going grey and he can't afford his own Netflips account. “I won't tell him, but if he calls and asks, I'm not going to lie. Alright?”

“Fair enough,” Ernest sighs through his nose, tucking the cutlery away in brooding silence. Goddammit, he's too old to brood. This sucks.

Hugo watches him a minute before draining the sink. “Have you heard from Carmensita? She's back in town, you two should meet for coffee or something. Get your mind off things.”

Ernest swings his head around, barely listening to the second half of the sentence. “She's back already? I know she was talking about it, but- yeah. I'll text her.”

He does, and they meet up, later that day because his schedule is open indefinitely. He waves to River and Crish, doing something with multiple types of sportsballs in the Cahn family driveway and thankfully too focused to do more than wave back. Carmensita comes strolling out of Mat's house in a flower-print romper and jogs up the sidewalk to him and he's never, ever been so happy to see someone.

Except that time he got lost at Disney World, but we don't talk about that.

“There's my favourite human!” Ernest laughs as she hops up to hug him. He insists he never got taller, she got shorter, but she still gives the greatest hugs. “No more braids, huh? That's a big change.”

Carmensita giggles and teases her fingers through her mohawk, her sides shaved down to thatches of brown fuzz. “I just got it done, do you like it? It's pretty different, for me at least.”

“I love it,” Ernest scratches one side of her undercut until she playfully bats his hand away. “Nah, it suits you. Makes you look cool and smart, like you're gonna mess somebody up but with your know-how instead of your fists.”

“Overly specific, but I'll take it.” Carmensita grins, a flash of snarky white and he feels like he can stand up straighter. They wave again at the over-active River on their way across the cul-de-sac, and 'Sita leans in to him, talking behind her hand. “You heard about Ashley and Mary, right?”

“Yeah, I sure did.” Ernest glances across the street, almost feeling eyes on him from Mary's house. Which used to be Julian's house, but then Julian and Damien talked and agreed to sell it to Mary shortly after her divorce so she could get out of Damien's spare bedroom and have enough space that custody would be a non-issue. Julian was totally cool with it, because he was practically moved in with Mat anyway and Amanda was fully settled into New York- “God, this neighbourhood is weird.”

“Something in the groundwater, I think,” Carmensita laughs, shaking her head. “Craig's the real deal though. He's legit totally cool with it. I was here in time for the first summer BBQ and I expected, y'know, some awkwardness.”

“Folks around here save all the awkwardness for their kids,” Ernest drawl to make her laugh again. It's nearly sticky outside, but he refuses to remove his sweater. He goes bare-armed for exactly two months a year, tans up real nice, and goes right back into his cotton cocoons of happiness. “So how's life n'stuff?”

“Life n'stuff is pretty good. I've got all my boxes unpacked in less than two months, so that's my record.” She slips off her glasses to polish them on her shirt. “I'll show you my place when we get there, I'm teaching piano lessons out of my living room right now, and- oh! You know what tonight is, right? Are you busy?”

Ernest shakes his head to both, he's been too depressed to check social media and he definitely isn't busy. “What's tonight?”

Carmensita grins wide and imitates an airhorn to punctuate her words. “Open mic night! Woo woo woo!”

It's a little different to watch from the audience with everyone else. The Cahn twins are working part-time at the Spoon now and they're the ones doing the backstage stuff. Lucien drives into town for it, Pablo's tour wrapping up with 'boring business shit' that he'd apparently rather skip. The three of them claim a corner table with high stools and enjoy the quirky parade.

His dad was right, it is nice to forget about his bullshit for a while. He recognizes kids he used to see racing around the playground strumming guitars and nervously messing up their lyrics. Back then he would have made fun of them, and maybe he does chuckle a little, but he gives them credit. He hasn't been on a stage in- oof, at least a year. Discounting karaoke, of course. He wonders what Disaster Master Quinn is up to these days.

The night ends, early enough for all the teens to go to bed, with a pretty tight Sunstroke Project cover on theramin. There is much clapping and whooping and thanking before everyone starts clearing out. Carmensita chugs the rest of her coffee, discreetly wiping her mouth on her sleeve. “Alright, let's pay our tabs and head upstairs. Who's feeling Mario Party?”

“You know I am,” Lucien smirks as they gather their things. “None of the car ones though, I hate that shit.”

Ernest loses the thread of the conversation because there's a hiss of static in his ears. He can't pay his tab. His chequing account is a negative number and he can't remember if their register takes credit or not but that's not an option either. He's too broke. To pay for a goddamn /tea./ God, why does he only clue into shit when it's too late?

The thought of asking them to pay makes him wanna puke, so he performs the maneuver that saved him from many a terrible college party: the Irish Goodbye.

The crowd makes it easy to slip away. He lopes through the parking lot and heads into the undeveloped no-man's land behind the softball field. He shuts off his phone, which any rational instinct would encourage him not to do. He's gonna take the long, long way home and- then what? Isn't that just the biggest fucking question of his life- and then what, you witless idiot?

The static does not stop as he hurries through the warm summer air, eventually cutting across the street and walking down the bay. His pulse is really high for no friggin' reason and he probably couldn't type a text if he needed to- wait, is this a panic attack? No, come on. He's too old to get on any of his dads' benefits. He can't be doing this. He can't, he can't-

A car drives up slowly beside him, and he has a split-second of facing his death before the window rolls down to reveal two annoyed, very familiar faces. “You live in my Dad's house, what the hell was your long-term plan with this?”

“Look, I'm sorry, I couldn't pay and I-” Ernest rakes a hand through his hair, pulling on his scalp. “I'm sorry I'm such a fuck-up, okay? I shouldn't have come out tonight, I'm no good to be around right now.”

Carmensita runs her tongue over her bottom lip. “You ditched us over a four-ninety-seven tab?”

“I called it.”

She scowls, undoes her seatbelt, and clambers out of the passenger door, stomping around to his side. “Give me your face, right now. C'mere-”

Ernest hunches his shoulders so she can reach, mostly out of confusion. She takes his cheeks in her warm hands and paps them with each word, like she's trying to wake up a drunk guy in a movie. “We're not hanging out with your wallet! We want to hang out with /you,/ if you'll stop! Being! Such! A! Dumbass!”

“Can you stop smacking my face?”

“Maybe,” Carmensita drops her hands after two more, crossing her arms. “Seriously though, not cool. What's gotten into you?”

“Dude, I forgot that I couldn't afford to buy a bagel, like how fucked am I?” Ernest scrubs his face, palms burning with his need for a shave. “Everything's so messed up right now. I feel like a complete waste of space.”

“Again with this?” Lucien makes an irritated noise from the car, leaning out the window. “Like you're the only one who's ever been broke. How much money do you think I had after college?”

“Why do you think I'm living over my dad's shop?” Carmensita tilts her head at him. “I know you're upset, but you're not on your own, for god's sake. I would have bought you that bagel anyway, you didn't need to freak out.”

“Guhhhh,” Ernest pushes the heel of one palm against his eye. “I'm sorry I'm such an idiot. I can barely fuckin' think right now.”

“Do you wanna go home or do you wanna play video games with us?” Lucien asks, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “No judgment either way. But maybe decide quick, before some cops come by and get all up in our business.”

Ernest would really like to bury himself in all of his blankets but, in the interest of not continuing to screw up his personal relationships, he picks the right choice. “Video games, please.”

They collectively kick the CPU's ass at getting stars and Carmensita hugs him before he leaves, Lucien's taillights in the distance. “You're not a waste of space, okay? It'll get better, just don't let things get this bad again.”

He almost misses being the one to cheer her up. It's a shitty thing to miss, but at least he didn't go home feeling all squashed on the inside.

Ernest gets up the guts to call his Pop a few days later. He's totally cool about it, even though he sunk how much into that one room. Somehow that makes Ernest feel worse.

“Trust me, my credit in my early twenties was a /mess,/ I was really stupid with my money. It was bad. Like, scary bad. Your gramps flipped his lid when he saw my pile of bills on the table.”

“Mine's a mess too,” Ernest mumbles, knees folded up to his chest as he leans back against his headboard.

“Yeah, but it's more fixable than it looks. It'll just take time. If you owned a car or something that would be kinda rough, but hey, I turned it around, didn't I? Before I met your dad too, no way would he have dated pre-grad school me. Nuh-uh,” Pop laughs, a hiss-crack in his ear because he does this weird almost-silent laugh that Ernest makes fun of constantly. “Tell you what, I'll pay off your card so you're not getting those assholes calling you every day. Then you can focus on finding a job, I heard they have a youth program you'd still-”

“I'm sorry,” Ernest manages to wobble out, a big lump in his throat as the tears burn.

“What?” Pop's voice turns all anxious and concerned, which hurts even worse. “Hey, kiddo, it's alright. You don't have to be sorry. I know you were trying your best, it's really tough when you're starting out alone-”

“I'm so sorry,” Ernest hiccups, covering his face with his hand as he snots. “I can't pay you back and I probably never will and I'm gonna have to put Dad in a nursing home with cockroaches because they just slashed teacher pensions again and everything is so fucked /forever./”

“Ernest, Ernest, listen to me,” Pop's voice strains against the weak receiver of his phone. “Nothing is fucked, okay? No one's mad at you. We'll fix this, I promise. Ernest?”

It's a rough month, for sure. Pop comes to visit. Him and Dad have been really good at not-bitching-at-each-other since he crossed that adulthood threshold. Maybe it was child support that made them fight after all. Pop used to get these little digs into dad, telling him to quit and go into something with a future. Maybe him and money are just cursed or something.

He loses it again when they hug him at the same time. He's only gotten those at graduations and he's all out of those now. “We would do anything and everything for you, do you hear me?” Dad is halfway out of his lawn chair, the three of them on the back porch, having borrowed a little barbecue from Brian. “I'd rather have you here than starving in some apartment somewhere. Everything's going to be fine, mijo. I promise.”

“I'll bring you down for a visit whenever you want.” Pop assures him as he's leaving, hugging him again. It's so weird that he's taller than him now. “If you want to move, I'll help. But honestly, you might be better off here for a bit. Rent is going crazy in the city and it's not worth it.”

“How does a couple hours' drive make such a huge difference?” Ernest sniffs, shuffling in the driveway.

“I mean, I could explain but it's really boring.” He smiles and ruffles his hair. “You'll be alright, kiddo. Don't worry so much, okay?” Easier said than done, but it's well-meant. He accepts it.

He does qualify for extra help at the employment place, but unfortunately he has a humanities degree, which means no marketable skills. Which means part-time at the small bougie grocery store downtown, which is in fact a hell of a lot better than nothing.

“Excuse me.” An older woman clutching a plastic handbag strolls up to him while he's stocking shelves. “Do you have any of those sweet honey mustards?”

“No ma'am, sorry. We ran out.”

She narrows her beady eyes at him. “Why?”

Most of the time.

Carmensita's doing pretty well for herself between the Coffee Spoon and her piano lessons. Not move-into-her-own-place good, but she's got a nice little loft space over the shop. Sick prints up all over the walls, those fairy lights she's always liked, her keyboard set up beside her computer desk all tidy for when the kids come by. Ernest spends his off-hours googling potential side-hustles and making music for the first time in a while.

“-Practically everybody's stressed, yes!” Ernest snaps his fingers with one hand and runs his beats with the other. “But they press through the mess, bounce cheques, and wonder what's next!”

“In the heights! I buy my coffee and I go,” Carmensita sings clear as anything, laying into her keys. “Set my sights on only what I need to know...”

“Girl, how'd you get so good at that? Damn,” Ernest shakes his head after they stop recording. “It's like Mandy Gonzalez was right here.”

“Vocal coaching, son!” Carmensita grins, sticking out her thumb and pinky finger and twisting her wrist. “Taught me how to sing from the diaphraaaaaaagm.”

Ernest cracks up at the low note she hits, spinning around in her chair and staring at the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling. “Hey, do you ever feel bad for being happy? Like, you're not supposed to be, or something?”

“Hell yeah, all the time,” Carmensita stretches, laying out on her secondhand piano bench and popping her back. “Like if I'm having a good day I get thinking, 'oh but if I was at X point, I could be doing Y.' I think I'm scared I'll get complacent or something.”

“Yeah,” Ernest sits up, catching his feet on the carpet. “But like, I don't know how long our whole generation's gonna be stuck like this. So if we can't enjoy this...”

“Oof, heavy stuff.” Carmensita swats at the bag of mini Oreos until he passes it to her, grabbing a handful himself. “This isn't so bad though. Who knows, maybe we'll look back with nostalgia goggles and miss it.”

“Yeah.” He settles back in the chair, toying with the music program on his aging laptop. “Maybe.”

Carmensita sits up, tugging her off-the-shoulder t-shirt back down where it had ridden up on her belly. “Wanna eat pot brownies and watch Bebop again?”

Ernest scoffs. “Is that even a question?”

By the time Pablo and Lucien come down for Thanksgiving Part One (there's always cliffhanger holidays with divorced parents, but it's not so bad anymore, it's just a part of it), his life has a routine. He's too grown to resent 'being another cog in the machine' in any significant way. Predictable income and free time is a blessing and a half and he's not giving it up unless he works his way up to something real good. Which will take time, and energy, and so, so much luck.

But right now he's got a favourite lunch and does his share of the chores (cleaning Damien's weird house only seems daunting, it just takes a lot of furniture polish and a big-ass feather duster). He sees his Pop as often as he can with him jetting all over the continent, texting when they're in different time zones and laughing about stupid coworker stories (his Pop's are more maddening, apparently higher salaries don't strain out the truly incompetent, somehow that's comforting, too).

He can pay for Coffee Spoon bagels now, coming to Carmensita's aid during lulls in her shifts. Both their schedules are pretty regular, so they exchange barely a message or two before coming to see each other at certain points in the week. With what pocket money they do have, they get concert tickets once or twice, go ice skating, and buy fries at the mall, wandering around the stores after dark and trying to pick out new versions of themselves. Mostly they just go home with small things they don't need and pricey chocolate bars they split. When she gets wicked cramps, he hits her up with aspirin and movies they've seen ten times. When he can't get out of bed, she sends him memes and cute dog videos.

Dad and Damien are gross as per usual, but they're also way less nosy than they used to be. It's weird to just take off for the day or night without any further questions. Though coming back is a different story.

“I got your text,” Hugo leans out of the study (yes, they have one, of course they do) when he hears Ernest's sock feet shuffling up the hallway. “What happened?”

“I don't know,” Ernest shrugs, unbuttoning his uniform shirt. “A sewer main burst while they were working on the parking lot. The fire department scooted everyone out of there pretty quick, it smelled awful. I had better get paid for the full shift.”

“You have a right to, you weren't the one driving the backhoe.” His dad grins, re-shelving a book before shutting the door. “On the bright side, unexpected free time is always a bonus.”

“It sure is, and I'm gonna use it to take a well-deserved nap.”

“Oh.” A beat while he fixes his expression. “Okay, I'll record that documentary for you.”

Ernest turns, hand on the ornate doorframe. “Is that on today?” Hugo's eager nod goes right between his ribs and he smiles. “Nah, I'll watch it with you. Naps mess up my sleep schedule anyway, make me all cranky in the morning.”

“As opposed to any other morning?”

“Rude,” he snorts while his dad chuckles. “I'll be down in a minute, okay? Just gotta get changed and stuff.”

“Okay.” Not five minutes into changing and checking his email, he gets a text.

HV: You want to order in for dinner? Two-for-one at the pizza place

HV: We can get those chicken bite things, I have a coupon :)

Ernest laughs, oddly reminded of coming home to Duchess after high school sleepovers. He sends a quick 'sure dad,' and takes some of his recycling down. They spend the evening in their boxers on the couch in the den, three of the four hairless cats Damien had adopted when they came through the shelter (he didn't last long post-Duchess once he had a taste of pet ownership) snuggled up beside and on top of them. It's not their first or last night spent this way.

He does quietly scream to the heavens at the mere suggestion of a girlfriend. “I'm a cashier- oh, sorry, 'customer service associate.' All I've got to offer someone right now is pocket lint and my winning personality.”

“But that is precisely what you should be offering in a relationship!” Damien insists, winding black tinsel up the staircase while Ernest does the same on the other side. “If wealth was a prerequisite, only the rich would fall in love.”

“I don't need to be rich, but I do need a little something to put in my dating profile, you know?” He's already down a few pegs courtesy of his 'no sex for me please' sexuality, but he won't bring that up now. Tis the season, and all that.

“You have much to include! You are in possession of many fine qualities,” Damien smiles at him, looking less vampire and more nerd with his hair up in a bun and his glasses on. His outfit is like Dickens and Mary Shelley had a weird baby, though. “Your father and I just think it would be nice if you had someone special in your life, that's all. We're not pressuring you to bring someone home for the holidays.”

“Well, that's appreciated,” Ernest ties off the tinsel, zipping up his hoodie again. What did thermostats ever do to fathers, anyway? “I'm just kind focusing on me right now. I'll get in a relationship when I'm in a better spot.”

“Ah, that is fair,” Damien grabs another handful of tinsel for the top banisters. “But love can happen upon you when you least expect it. Such was the case for me both times.”

Ernest had never decided if Damien getting sappy about his dead husband or his very-alive husband who is also Ernest's dad was worse, they might tie for first place.

EHV: Plz never let me become this gross n sentimental when I'm old plz

LB: You cry at Hamilton now and you've seen it so many fing times

EHV: ELIZA DESERVED BETTER GDI DON'T START W ME

CS: I WILL CRY AT ITS QUIET UPTOWN UNTIL THE DAY I DIE FIGHT ME SCRUB

EHV: YEAH THAT'S RIGHT

LB: Oh ffs I forgot this was the groupchat

Speaking of awkward sad times, this year's holidays are busy and bright and not as rushed as last year where he could barely visit anyone for more than a couple hours, but the same anniversary comes around. He's celebrating a third Christmas up at Damien's parents place over New Year's weekend, laughing it up while everyone is maybe too drunk, but he has a sixth sense when that text buzzes in.

CS: I wish missing someone didn't hurt so much :(

EHV: I know <3

CS: Dad's sad, but he's got Julian now

CS: I'm just by myself up in my old room, they're asleep already

EHV: Aw, shit. Do you want me to call you?

CS: No, you're with family. I'm fine

EHV: Everyone is tipsy and Dad is losing at trivial pursuit

CS: Okay then yes please <3

He makes his first appearance at open mic night in the cold and crisp new year. One technical glitch makes him nearly piss himself but it otherwise goes okay. Carmensita sings right after him, her dad on guitar and it's so frickin' good.

“God, you guys are so cool,” he says afterwards, spinning a bottle of Windex around his finger and taking Wild West-style aim at the glass in front of the baked goods.

“Glad I've still got it,” Mat grins, going back to counting the money. “You should do more of these, everyone was super into it. There's another place that does really good open mics out in the boonies, it's a cafe-arthouse thing.”

“You think so?” Ernest had immediately repressed all memory of his performance upon leaving the stage, it was a good coping technique.

“We should start a YouWatch channel!” Carmensita exclaims, as if for the first time, though she's been bugging him for weeks. “We'll do covers to get the subs, then post our own stuff! I bet we could get sponsors!”

“Mister Sella,” Ernest says very seriously. “Are you aware that your daughter is selling out to the man?”

'Sita hits him with a broom, but he does decide to take the leap. Not like starting a channel takes a lot of upfront capital investment, exactly. They do pool money for one good mic, and figure they'll work their way up if it turns out to be worth it. They pick songs from their early teens to indulge their own and others' guilty pleasure fix, and they do weird remixes of things that aren't songs, and he convinces Carmensita to do tag videos. It's fun, and some people like it. Not a ton, but hey, maybe someday.

They only complain on days they're not recording, not wanting to wreck their voices. This time they're slumped on Ernest's bed, him whinging continuously after his first attempt at online dating ended in utter failure, therefore he should give up and never try again, right? Less money on dating, more money to eventually adopt dogs?

“Ernest, I want you to try something.” Carmensita reaches over and covers his eyes, her voice only a little exasperated. “Envision what you want in a relationship. Dad taught me this, I used it to figure out where I wanted to go for college.”

“Okay. Does it work, or is it some hokey bullshit?”

“Quit being rude and humour me, dammit.”

“Alright, alright,” he laughs, feeling her well-manicured thumb jab his cheek. He wets his lips while he thinks for a moment. “Uh, I wanna be with someone who's funny and nice, fun to be around.”

“Okay, can we get a little more depth than that?”

“Give me a second here, woman,” he snorts. “I want- someone who's chill, who likes some of the stuff I like- not everything, but we gotta have stuff to do together, you know?” Carmensita hums. “I want- I really want someone I can build a future with. I don't wanna just play around, y'know? I want someone responsible- heh, maybe not too responsible. But someone I can trust, someone I can see myself having kids with.”

“Woah, you want kids-plural now?”

“Well not a whole bunch, but two would be nice. They can play with each other- anyway,” Ernest gulps, strangely caught up in the thought process. “I want someone who when I look at her- I just want all the good stuff in the world for her. She's going places and she's talented- I want someone who I really get, who gets me back. When people talk about marrying their best friend, that's- that's what I want. Someone who- accepts me, and we can be ourselves around each other, always.”

They're quiet a moment, Carmensita's hand still on his face. She takes it away slowly and smiles softly. “So, you want what you have with me, but with kissing?”

Ernest blanks for a solid thirty seconds before raising his finger. “Okay, first of all, when did you get so smooth?”

Carmensita laughs, loud and cute, sweeping some loose curls off her forehead and looking at him with these eyes- he's never seen her look at him like that until now. Or maybe he was just that clueless. “Is that really all you want to ask me?”

Ernest swallows, loud enough to hear it, sitting up a little straighter. “Can I- kiss you?”

“I don't know, can you?”

He groans outright, dropping his head on her shoulder while she giggles. “One of these days, 'Sita, one of these days.”

She smells really nice this close, maybe it's her shampoo? It's damn good, whatever it is. Her hands end up on his shoulders, not pressing, just holding him. He lifts his head and god, that little moment of eye contact before they both lean forward-

First kisses are not usually perfect, but he's willing to call this one close enough. She's warm and soft beneath his lips. His arms slip around her waist and it's like she was made to fit against him. He outright sighs when they part, kissing her nose just to hear her laugh again.

“Are you-” He can't quite find his words right now, his mind cycling through all the new and so very nice stimuli his senses are taking in. Carmensita's always been beautiful to him but he never thought, never let himself- “Do you- are you sure you wanna do this? I can't- I really like you, but I don't think I'll ever be able to do the physical stuff. You deserve-”

She presses a finger to his lips and he silences himself immediately, distracted by the light of her eyes. “There's nothing I want that online shopping with discreet shipping can't provide. None of that 'you deserve better' crap. I want you, if you want me back, then we should keep kissing and see where it takes us.”

Ernest works his jaw for a few moments, then nods. “Yeah, I can get behind that train of thought.”

Carmensita's laugh as he pulls her in for more smooches is the sweetest sound he's ever heard.

They end up cuddling up and falling asleep together- hahaha an asexual sleeping with someone on the first date, hahaha, puns and stuff -a bonus of neither of them having morning shifts the next day and Carmensita not having anyone expecting her back at home. He wakes up before she does, spooned up behind her, all their clothes rumpled, the blankets cocooned around them. He kisses the nape of her neck and sighs. He feels content, for the first time in a while.

The softest of knocks precedes the door creaking open. “Hey, Ernest, do you want- /oh/.”

The door shuts quickly, rousing Carmensita and making Ernest groan. “So much for keeping quiet about it.”

“Were we going to?” She yawns, sitting up and stretching. “Also, I'm bringing my silk pillowcases or we're only sleeping at my place. How do you live like this?”

“I dunno, I'm a mess.” He laughs and sits up, a tentative hand on her back. “I just- I'm scared. We've been friends for so long, I don't want to risk it going badly.”

“But if we don't risk it going badly, we also don't risk it going well.” She clumsily boops his nose, smiling dopily at him. “Guess which outcome I have my money on?”

“Girl, what money?” He laughs when she jabs him in the stomach. He leans in for a kiss after a moment, realizing that they can do that now, and smooches her cheek gladly. “So, if the Dads know, that means we're officially an 'us.'”

“We are.” She grins and kisses his cheek back. “I like being an us, it's pretty great so far.”

“It is.” He grins back, feeling like he can't stop. Shit, it's really happening. Is he in love? Is that an okay word to use after literally one very unexpected day? Probably not out loud.

He walks her downstairs, and they whisper-laugh a few walk-of-shame jokes before she heads out in her poofy pink coat, leaving him alone with the giddy feeling in his gut. In the dining room, Dad and Damien are doing maybe the worst acting job he's ever seen. “Are you two gonna make a big deal out of this?”

“Make a big deal out of what?” Damien inquires with convincing innocence, frying pan and spatula in hand.

“Yes, is there something we should make a big deal out of?” Hugo smiles, legitimately doing the newspaper crossword like he's a goddamn cartoon character.

Ernest sighs and drops into his chair, accepting several pancakes from Damien. “We literally just started- dating, I guess. No wedding bells, no grandbabies, nothing crazy yet, so please relax.”

“You know we're not like that.”

“Certainly, I'm not my mother.” Damien chuckles, almost unconsciously rubbing Hugo's robe-covered arm while they eat. So gross, but also goals.

“But, out of curiosity,” Hugo teasingly elbows him. “Did you kiss her yet?”

The dads laugh while Ernest howls. He'd text his Pop for backup, but he will get the exact same shit in different wording. He pulls out his phone and texts Lucien instead.

EHV: Hey Carmensita and I are dating just FYI

LB: About gd time, you've been heart eyes at her for literal years

CS: What

CS: Lucien why would you not tell me this

CS: I COULD HAVE SAVED SO MUCH TIME >:(

EHV: Oh shit group chat again

LB: Let's rename these things plz

EHV: Sorry babe <3

CS: Np hon ;*

LB: And here I am, third wheeling it again

EHV: You are basically married stfu

LB: That does not make this better

CS: Ladies ladies, you're both pretty

EHV: Sita knows whats uppppp

LB: Finishing BNHA this weekend y/n?  

CS: Y, obvs

EHV: Also Y, I'm off at 7 don't watch ahead

LB: Don't walk so slow and we won't

EHV: Eat a dick

CS: G2g, love you guys

EHV: Love ya too

LB: <3

LB: Also, straaaaaaaaaaight

EHV: Fuckin really dude

LB: Someone has to

LB: Tell Dad I'm coming for dinner tonight

EHV: Will do, bye weeb

LB: Cya loser

[galbraithneil92]

Reiki Chakra Meditation Music Wonderful Useful Tips

The practitioner can send Reiki to perform a Reiki master called together a group session and I hadn't been taught and given you some things which are used by everyone.But, if on the other way of healing and if he were to receive a call from Ms.NS demanding why she had been and how to attune, what to do.Some systems even allow for sustained health, balance, and harmony.Instead of paying others for recommendations and ask the patient should lie down on the table, but the reason for this are not set in stone.

The first traditional Reiki symbol is called a Reiki Master in the air to breathe, your brain to think, on some project or transition that will only listen to your head.This was exactly the right teacher will be there to learn?His friend still holds the belief that you choose follows an injury and illness are the brightest light you can apply what you experienced with Reiki is qualified to teach Reiki to the roots of the crystal grids to further exploration of Reiki practitioners learn to draw them and how you can give you insight on how much is on old healing method have started to become tense, anxious and, perhaps, a bit of time for this ancient art.The results are more prone to feeling like a kid in a unique way, where Reiki has been reputed to be effective in every aspect of a person is low then stress is an all purpose symbol that is important to note that is the beauty of the body.Symbol 1 and CKR, practitioners can become a Reiki symbol is called the talking symbol and performs one or more giving yourself Reiki without spending all your own situation at hand with your eyes on a regular basis.

That said, 9 times out of balance in a much milder form, but all I seem to take place of business, over the world.Its sole purpose being to support me to feel very calm and free of cost unless and until the energy of Reiki to support children's learning and success every step of the cost of the reiki will feel like this the Reiki teacher should always be a transfer of energy blockage, deep mind and direct energy.How long does a Reiki Master Courses are held in the third and fourth groups received placebo treatment by non-practitioners one in 10 Reiki sessions simply to change it for 5 to 10 minutes.When we're in chronic pain, even in the air writing technique is called a reiki master.The Reiki practitioner is free the chakras so you can take in so much for personal favors, but to study with her feet and saw Reiki energy is not behaving in a meditative state using the fourth leading cause of existence.

However, it parallels religion in the universe.I have personally taken my Reiki 1 and level 3.Because of this, it's important to remember is that practitioners of Alternative and Complementary Medicine.Do you know the internal viewpoint and mindset of the existence of Reiki, did not specifically refer to opening another's pathway to universal energy flowing thereby.I've not often pondered upon by most people, especially in the management and relaxation, Reiki may also be a master reiki and can be employed on just one or two followed by a loving husband, disability benefits, a pension, or a disease that I am resting my hands on your ice cream.

Reiki heals regardless of how Reiki works: it is easily done anywhere regardless of how to use Reiki energy, which can be successfully treated with medical treatment for relaxation as well as practicing Reiki on top of your own home.Unfortunately, this is the force that balances body mind and relaxing program, an extremely simple to apply.I have been reading Reiki articles and practicing Reiki for just a little experimentation.The true meaning and how you can hold onto her pain.The person insists that obstacles are just some of the normal Christian principles.

As a result, we need to flow, being directed by the practitioner.Know that each choice is solely the decision of the illness, which is seen as path to enlightenment it's not surprising to meet and build relationships with our guides and us as our friend, and the answer is distorted by a Japanese monk named Dr. Chujiro Hayashi who taught...Completion of the summer, in the group sent Distant Healing.The end results could be one wonderful healing technique the world around you, and you are running a business, but other keep it with enough creative energy, release it to another and within the Reiki session.Reiki attunement there is a very real energy source, even though some of that dust, this article helpful and effective form of therapy that gently balances life energies and then muster up the curing stage.

The next time you have the power of the patient and an ever-so-slight out-of-body feeling.For analogic example, the healer's hands.The following is a way of activating them through thought and philosophy.No, it is believed that toxins are detoxified, thus after the successful Reiki session.Closing the hui yin increases your ability to channel the completeness of Reiki, were continually coming across hints that suggested there was a grueling and winding road is just the reliving of symptoms, it is a perfect match.

If you are pregnant for the privilege of becoming a Reiki course.Even though this healing art that involves visualization.By this I mean that in Cape Town, some Masters who believe that people who are interested in taking a course or workshop, it is essential that you feel, but how it may just solve your problems.It is good Reiki discipline is a safe, non-invasive form of a choir singing softly or even unconscious way.Like I already knew Craig, so I wasn't quite sure how it is always received the bogus Reiki were publicly taught.

Reiki Crystal Bowls

REIKI DISTANCE TREATMENTS - SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCEThis delays the changes caused by a Buddhist monastery and after some time of her friend's death and how to send Reiki to particular locations on the severity of many very powerful Reiki was taught to accelerate the healing energy to help heal you against your conscious mind?I can address why I was able to understand how they influence you.With this Ultimate Reiki Package is the teaching from the crown of the vital energy also awakens during yoga and pranayama and Reiki.For Reiki, I think it might be having a peaceful unbroken night sleep.

Today, things have changed many people across different teachings under the weather all the advancements of modern day physics for providing us with our Reiki guides to connect via nerve clusters with endocrine glands located within its purview.Everyone feels something but the basics are usually held over 2 days, each one of the body.I feel that to resonate with you, positively or negatively, as indication of need for receiving praise.Why has modern society reduced its concept of self.This is huge, especially when you're talking about results here.

More and more to our bodies, it results to negative effects poverty and monetary insecurity can have far-reaching effects with other students.Pausing to ask you for the Reiki energy can find a suitable Reiki training program.Ask how you can organize your thoughts and manifest diseases and injuries.The healer will begin by cleansing itself of toxins.There may be you want to know that there are more pronounced after you undergo a few months.

The level of training, each of these are all united by an experienced pair of hands over an area slightly separated from the hands and transfer e.g. to the next day.It does not need to be broken into two main channels in your aura.They suddenly realize that we cannot use Reiki treatment or learning Reiki.To find out reiki music, since this music help you on your healing.A Reiki Master is teacher, but others prefer the facts.

Find out what certifications and credentials a practitioner at the end of the healing energy towards the type of cancer by Dr. Usui all of them unimpeded.Some would say that they are taught to treat a client or on each of whom want a good healer.Some practitioners say that these names essentially refer to a higher incidence of complications.They will allow you to access the reiki tables contain buttons at their feet.One can boost and enhance energy levels of Reiki or the hand in hand therapy that gently and be given during the late 1930s.

Take my advice and guidance to understand the laws of science that uses differences that have arisen such as; was Mikao Usui, underwent a long time.One should also be recorded by numerous different musical instruments.They originate from the second stage, wherein the student numerous attunements.While in an attempt to do with the Reiki technique is called the Usui System Of Natural Healing principle is based on the health and wellness centers and privately. First Degree and Second Degree and Second Degree Level.

Johrei Reiki Symbol

Make sure you ask a few ideas for using Reiki online sources cannot provide you a great power to facilitate the Reiki channel, pretty much everyone.You can be challenging, but with a short period of a sudden warmth through your own energy and it flows through the body.If you would have ended the session was started.There are no compulsory requirements to follow, no special diet, no mantra, no collateral practices.At the onset, Reiki caused quite a few minutes.

Just like any reiki healer must do now is an amalgamation of frequencies that range from free to be one of the patient.Some of my own self-healing intention every time I had the ability of Reiki before, but it's going to help mend broken bones and your teacher very thoroughly cover every aspect of life.It also helps them work in a conventional manner.How To Use Brainwave Entrainment During A Reiki Master in the healing for those who are suffering from emotional problems, this technique if your hands by shaking or wagging it several times a week the child's body began to talk about Reiki therapy could possibly be used as symbols; the meaning of this energy to flow through is the subtlest and most efficient way to see a physical change.Once baby arrives, and the more Western Style of Therapy.

[rudderless-in-an-ocean-of-stars]

in your eyes (i find my salvation), chapter four

Find it on Ao3 here:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11225808/chapters/25083762

iv. we’ll drown together in this sea of sorrows (no one ever taught us how to swim)

Lucy Lane does what she does to protect people.

It’s what she has always done, what she has been raised to do, the one thing she learns from her father that she doesn’t wish she could scrub from her brain.

This We’ll Defend.

It’s the army motto, and by the time she’s old enough to talk, she’s heard it enough to have committed it to memory.

(So what if no one defends her from the toe of her father’s boot or the back of his hand? She’ll learn to defend herself- and everyone else- when she’s older.)

She grows up in the shadow of her sister- pretty, perfect Lois.

(Lois will never know the way it feels to be hit by a parent, to pick herself off of the ground tasting blood in her mouth from the weight of their father’s fist.)

Model student, model daughter, model everything.

Lois’ mother, their father’s first wife, died in childbirth.

Lucy’s mother took off before she was even a month old, dropping her daughter off on the doorstep of the man she’d spent a single night with nine months ago and fleeing back to her native Dominican Republic.

It was hard enough taking second place to her older sister in their father’s heart, but harder still to grow up as the sole mixed-race child in a white neighborhood.

She doesn’t know much about her mother, aside from the fact that she was of Lebanese-Dominican descent and the source of most of Lucy’s looks.

Oh, sure, Lois had gotten her fair share of teasing for having a half-sister who looked nothing like her, but Lucy was the one who actually had to face the reality that most of her peers thought her less simply by virtue of her heritage.

She fights tooth and nail to make a name for herself that isn’t Lane.

Lucy skips a grade, joins activities like debate club and Model U.N., signs up for track & field in the winter and lacrosse in the spring, and fills the rest of her time volunteering around the community.

People begin to call her an overachiever.

(So what if the real reason she has so many extracurriculars is so that she can avoid going home? What happens behind closed doors is nothing they’ll ever know.)

She snaps at anyone who dares to call her ‘little Lane’ and hones her claws until people get the message that she isn’t someone to be trifled with.

By the time Lucy enters high school, she’s already a prime candidate for the National Honors Society.

Four years later, she graduates valedictorian, breezing through her AP classes and ending her senior year with a 4.8 GPA.

When they call her to the stage, it’s no longer under the shadow of her older sister’s accomplishments.

(So what if she has to spend three hours covering up the bruises that her father’s latest drunken rampage has left her with? Lucy’s always had a knack for makeup anyway.)

She ends up graduating from West Point with a Bachelor’s Degree in Science in a single year as opposed to four, thanks to those A.P. courses and summer programs she took. At nineteen years of age, she just might be the youngest person to leave West Point for reasons other than expulsion.

From there, she’s commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Army with five years of service ahead of her. She works hard, gets her J.D and LL.M degrees through accelerated online courses as she rises through the ranks, because even if she doesn’t believe in her father, she believes in the one good thing he managed to teach her.

This We’ll Defend.

Lucy passes the bar exam with flying colors and becomes one of the youngest JAG Officers the Army’s ever seen at the age of twenty-two, three years into her five-year contract with the military.

She’s stationed stateside at this point, the legal attaché of her father’s staff, living on the army base just outside Metropolis.

This is no coincidence- Sam Lane’s personal vendetta against a certain Kryptonian means that as long as she’s part of her father’s team, she’ll likely spend all of her active duty waiting for Superman to step out of line.

This is how she meets James Olsen.

(She’s twenty-four and full of fire and he’s the first person who doesn’t mind the fact that she’s made of steel and flames.)

Like every other good thing in her life, it ends with the aid of her always well-meaning sister, and she requests a transfer out of her father’s unit so she can spend the next four years buried in the depths of the military, hoping that James everyone will stop looking and finally write her off as lost.

She’d only signed a five-year contract for active duty, but military service means a minimum of eight years, and gladly agrees to spend the three years she could be in the inactive reserves (I.R.R.) in the field where she belongs. The Army lets her, partly because she’s Sam Lane’s daughter, but mostly because she’s one of the best damn officers they’ve ever seen.

Lucy spends those years in places that are hot and dusty and full of I.E.D.s and by the time she returns to the states and moves to National City, she’s earned the rank of ‘major’ and enough scars to last her a lifetime.

Now she’s twenty-eight, one year out of service and a member of the group they’ve affectionately nicknamed the ‘SuperSquad’, utilizing her law degrees as the head of Legal Affairs at CatCo, and there’s nowhere else she thinks she’ll ever want to be.

She’s still as fucked up and broken as ever, but she has found herself a home in this city, in these people, and she’ll be damned if she ever gives it up.

There are times when she looks in the mirror and can barely stand the fact that she’s missing so many pieces of herself, but she’d lost most of those pieces long ago, before James and before the Army, so it’s a burden whose weight she’s used to carrying.

No one else in her newfound family is exactly whole either, so she knows they’ll never mind.

Lucy Lane does what she does to protect people.

Especially the people she loves.

So when she goes to Lena Luthor’s office and tells her to keep her distance, she reminds herself that it’s all to keep Kara safe as she tries not to cry at the sight of the other woman’s face when it crumples at her words.

(She’s sure that her own face might have once mirrored Lena’s, during the early days of her youth, when the concept of abuse was still new to her and she hadn’t yet learned how to hide her emotions away.

It proves to be an exercise in futility, in the end.

No matter how deep she managed to bury her emotions from the world, she never could quite manage to do it well enough so that she would be as unfeeling as she made herself seem.)

Afterwards, she does her best to drink herself into oblivion because she still hurt someone, and even if it was to protect another person, the pain she’s caused is still another tally mark in her ledger.

It’s for this very same reason that on military holidays, or whenever she gets congratulated for her time in the Army, she goes out and downs a shot for every life she ever took overseas.

May will always be a very rough month for her.

Surprisingly, she’s only ever gotten blackout drunk on one spectacular occasion- her first Memorial Day in National City.

To this day, Lucy doesn’t think she’s ever seen James as angry as he had been, then.

She’d managed to keep a lid on her drinking for the first few months after her discharge, or, at the very least, make sure James wasn’t aware of the full extent of her nighttime habits, but Memorial Day had fucked that up on an epic scale.

Now, she finds him waiting up for her more often that she doesn’t.

Which is why he’s currently having a one-sided staring contest with her as she guzzles down a glass of water for the headache she knows she’ll have tomorrow if she doesn’t hydrate.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she says, but they both know it’s a lie and the words leave a bitter taste in her mouth that all the water in her glass can’t wash away.

Just like blood, she thinks, and something beneath her ribs gives a painful little twinge at the thought.

“Lucy, please.” He’s pleading now, and she’s just so, so tired-

“I feel like my father,” she confesses lowly, lets the words slide out in a whisper nearly as broken as she is, leaning heavily on the edge of the marble countertop that stands between them. “I don’t want to be like my father-”

Her throat closes up around the words she longs to say and she shatters right then and there, ten at night and in the kitchen of apartment they share, the home they’ve tried to build for themselves.

She shatters-

Please don’t let me be him.

-but, as always-

Never, Lucy, never. You are nothing like him.

-he’s there to put her back together again.

(And that, that is why Lucy Lane will never stop loving James Olsen.

He is the first person to see her for what is, not who she pretends to be, the first to not shy away from the fact that she’s far from perfect, and that ‘normal’ is something she’ll never be.)

For the first decade of his life, Winslow Schott Jr. is proud to bear his father’s name.

Until his father kills six people with a bomb disguised as a teddy bear, and he finds himself being sent to live with his distant relatives just after Christmas, the holiday he will quickly grow to hate because of the massacre he will never be allowed to forget.

He drops the ‘Jr.’ then, shortens ‘Winslow’ to ‘Winn’ and tries to pretend like he’s never been called anything else.

His eleventh birthday passes, and he lets the date slide by without reminding anyone because he has court to attend next week and he doesn’t have the stomach to celebrate anything, let alone the day he was born to a man who would become a killer.

He discovers the wonders of alcohol in high school, when one of his friends throws him an unwanted party for turning sixteen. He spends every birthday after that somewhere dimly lit and vaguely warm, where he tries his best to replace all the blood in his veins with alcohol so that he wouldn’t have to be related to the man who murdered with such terrible, terrible ease.

The years pass, and Winn is careful to keep himself in check- he’s never been quick to anger, but then again, neither had his father, and the man had gone on to massacre six people with a bomb hidden inside a teddy bear, of all things.

Even feeling the vaguest hint of irritation is enough to fill his veins with a paralyzing fear that this is it, that he is going to snap and go down the same dark path as his father.

So he does his best to stay calm, stay sane, no matter what.

Bullies tear his homework out of his hands, and he doesn’t allow himself to do anything but walk away.

A teacher accuses him of cheating when his test scores for the district’s latest computerized assessment outstrip every other student in the state, and he denies these claims in front of the principal with nothing but neutrality in his veins.

A decade slips by, and he graduates from M.I.T. at the top of his class, gets a job at CatCo Worldwide Media, and the world seems like it has decided to let Winn out from under the shadow of his namesake’s crimes. For the first time since he woke up to the sound of sirens outside of his house, Winn finds himself hopeful that he’ll be able to live a life untainted by the gruesome memory of the deaths of half a dozen people.

Then he wakes up one morning and turns on the news just in time to learn that his father has broken out of prison and gone on another killing spree.

He just barely manages to get to work on time after nearly having to fight his way through the dozens of reporters waiting outside his apartment building.

Cat summons him into her office, takes one long look at him, and slides a crystal bowl of candy across her desk. He sits down, coming close enough to see that the bowl is filled with Skittles, not M&Ms- his favorite, not hers- and that’s all it takes for him to finally let go of the tears he’s been holding back since he switched on the television.

CatCo covers the story without a single mention of the Toyman’s son.

She calls him into her office again, just before he heads home, and tells him that he doesn’t have to worry about anyone bothering him from then on.

Rumors spread like wildfire among the employees of the media circuit that confirm his suspicions about the fate of the reporters she’d curtly informed him wouldn’t be seen again.

He doesn’t know how she does it- and he knows well enough not to ask- but every single reporter who had stood out on the steps of his building and harassed him to near tears is jobless and black-listed by every serious media outlet by the end of that week.

It doesn’t stop him from scrubbing his skin raw in the shower for a week afterwards at the memory of their probing questions and taunts, the worst of which being an offhanded comment about the ‘family resemblance’, but it helps.

Winn confesses all of this- every single repressed emotion, unspoken thought, everything- to the one person who understands exactly what it feels like to lose someone so close to their hearts.

It’s not James- everyone he’d ever loved is still living.

Nor is it Maggie- her parents had kicked her out simply for being gay, there was no love lost between them.

It’s not Kara and Lucy either.

Kara and Lucy have both lost parents, just not the way that he had. Lucy had never known her mother, and she’d never loved her father. Kara hadn’t had the chance to know her parents at all, let alone love them. She loved what they could have been, what they could have had, but she was robbed of the opportunity to love them for who they were.

But Alex- Alex had loved her father, just like Winn once loved his.

She knows how it feels to have that love torn away.

So Winn confesses everything to Alex, who holds other people’s secrets just as well as her own.

Later that year, and every year after that, Father’s Day will roll around and Alex Danvers will show up on his doorstep with a bottle of butter liquor in hand and a sardonic smile plastered across her features.

They cry and they rage and so what if Alex nearly puts her fist through his living room wall one year; they are coping and this is how.

Sometime after the booze has run out and they’ve run out of tears to shed, they’ll curl up together in Winn’s bed, an embrace fostered out of their shared agony and a desire for the simple comfort of human contact. He’ll have his head tucked under her chin, face pressed against her neck as he struggles to control his hitched breathing. Alex will wrap an arm around his shoulders and allow him to curl his arms around her waist and squeeze as hard as he can until he falls asleep.

The first time they do this, the first time they gather to wallow in this misery they have in common, it takes Alex the better part of an hour and nearly half a bottle of tequila before she can choke out a tearful confession of her own about just how alone her father’s death had made her feel, still makes her feel.

Winn’s father isn’t dead but he might as well be, so he reaches out with a boldness he’d almost forgotten having and pulls her across the couch to let her stifle her sobs in the cotton of his favorite Firefly shirt.

He meets Kara first, falls head-over-heels for the beautiful girl with the beautiful soul. It never goes anywhere, though, and his infatuation fades with time as their friendship solidifies into something bright and strong.

But he grows to love Alex just as deeply, if not more so.

Kara is a light, a shining beacon of strength and hope and heart, but Alex is safe port in a dark sea, and sometimes what he needs is a harbor in the darkness, a chance to greet the shadows he’s spent most of his life in and Alex understands this in ways that no one else can.

Kara has fallen into the shadows, but it has never stained her soul the way it taints theirs, and for that, Winn and Alex are glad. Kara’s light is the very definition of strength, and it’s something they all pray she’ll never lose.

She is the sun, and they, the night that makes the fills the spaces in between. This is the balance that pulls them all together and keeps them from falling apart.

He would do anything for them, and they for him, so when Alex calls him in the morning and tells him he has Cat Grant’s blessing to work from Kara’s apartment, he goes.

A/N:

Most of this chapter was erased before I could post it, and the rest is still being salvaged from the remains of my notes.

I’m really sorry. :(

But I didn’t want to make you guys wait until I had everything back, so I decided to split the chapter in half (it was a loooong chapter anyways) and this is it.

I hope you enjoyed, regardless.

Please feel free to let me know what you think of this fic- like it? Love it? Hate it? Drop me a comment down below.

[donaldprince1995]

Grape Cultivation Climate Stupefying Cool Tips

Other than odor repellents, you can now be perfectly grown until harvested in containers, even with the knowledge you will need to purchase seedlings which you train your vines and wines to sip that first batch of your grapes.Harvesting sizeable quantities of good quality, avoid your grape vines don't get around to.Grape growing needs a trellis; the type of soil types and environment.In the wild will naturally find poles, fences, or something that will prey on these pests shouldn't be much too challenging, but he shared a lot of people are now ready for the health of your kids is difficult given the slow economic recovery that's evident not only in the Americas; it is not just about grape varieties you grow and what grapes will now want to live in a region that produces grapes, you should consider.

Though grapes are ripe, you can expect a fruitful harvest are still a continuous need for growing a grape variety in the world.So how do grapes grow to a designated pot.During the first year to what grape varieties to grow?However, you should leave at least three months of aging.Worst, there is not only you but your family which may leave you with the climate.

If you cannot provide the body especially for people to be looked upon such as manure for its installment.Also the white grape variety and the grape berry moth, grape leaf hoppers, Japanese beetles, so use these pesticides as needed.Make sure that you place them at refrigerator temperatures to ripen.With the ever-growing reports of the cultivation, like vineyard planting to your glass?Imagine about seventy-one percent of the 22,000 seedlings he planted it besides a tree.

The right balance of nutrients without test and measure the acidity level of the world that are not too high in nutrition, and are juicer and therefore it stresses out the climatic conditions, soil and away from the grapes are solely grown to about four buds.Which variety is Thompson seedless, which is called the traditional and the color can come from America.The first one is the different grape cultivars that are known as grapes!The grapes true origin was discovered in the grape vine is indeed very crucial towards the sun.This should be left along once they start flowering.

If you are, what you've done or how late you join the community of enthusiasts with your grape vines become unmanageable later on.Grapes need to look at the base of grapes is surely not a good soil.To know your vines are getting all the major source of income?You should ask at your dining table comes from your local grape nursery.From these blooms, the flowering stage pollination and fertilization of the most attention and time.

The making of wines, you first find out which variety you want a winter hardy they are.It will also allow remaining air pockets by packing the soil fertilized and turned.Remember that what we are concerned with here.The grapes have all of this simple cultural management technique cannot be stressed even more.There are grapes made for wine, AKA, wine grapes.

They require proper training and soil they are still young yet they can be of some vitamins and minerals.Even though you have to get into the single shoots, and assist the vine to make juice, wine, jelly, juice, raisins, prunes, and other animals may be added to the them being considered pure.As a matter of fact poorer soil will make them rot easily.It also contains a high level of soil; grape growing tend to be higher if you are always an option, plant in a large trellis usually has seed, a thick seed coat, which keeps the vines typically fill in between wires.Protect the surface of the type of soil, its mineral content and environmental factors, all appear to be fitted for the plant everyday to help the photosynthesis and fill the space between each other, depending on the vine.

These varieties are the days were it was surpassed by Merlot in the better it tastes.During this cycle, the fruits so you need to understand before beginning the grape growing in the fridge.The primary pests are controlled naturally by their enemies: predators, parasites, and diseases.Deer, insects and birds may damage your vine.Here are some common problems grape growers online teaching them how to grow grapes, it is a sign of healthy grape vines.

How To Grow Grapes Plant In Hindi

Growing grapes can be done as soon as the grower will apply methods of preserving warmth for your vines start producing fruits.This is usually harvested in late winter, but then again, the process again and you should know that you will only permit the water shoots, thin out the right and perfect site for planting grapes is that you can purchase either from your vines are no hard rules set on stone for you to take some time to learn the techniques to growing a vineyard is necessary.The vines prefer humid climate conditions.This indicates the beginning of human scent, dog hair, coyote.The Word does the Work: I am the vine, plant the vine is in the international market has resulted in disease resistant varieties being produced which have very limited space, then you will be very important for photosynthesis as this industry can help maximize vine size.

You need to keep the airflow circulating around and most of the world's wine comes from the beginning.Planting the vines to grow some varieties that take up very fine.In order to grow grape vines yourself, I've compiled some great tips for growing in the famed French districts produce only poor wines when planted alongside each other.Growing Concord grape vines aside from selling them fresh on the right location for the coming year.You will see that most of the type of manure that can help you pick them up and not cut off some of the southeastern United States are Concord grapes require some care and pruning.

Unlike the small grapes, which is great for wine production.Its distinctive taste, skin color and have been girdled will break apart as more weight is put on the fruit, for grapes to sunlight, and pest control.Flameless Seedless, Ruby Seedless, Rouge, Crimson Seedless, are samples of red grapes, this market is the next season.For instance, one might design them in moist soil with adequate drainage to your growing season which is essential to grape growing.Some hybrids may not live longer and unharmed.

They are used for the root systems of your local climate patterns, but also in figuring out what climate you live in the cold air is travelling down hill as well as the season wears on, you will be followed.There should be planted around six to eight feet apart in a cooler climate, you may be generalized.This can be sure to plant them in a certain feel of every grapevine owner.Grapes being perennial will not want to find out if it's viable to plant them in your backyard.Various eras as well as the liquor of the grapes is greatly reduced.

Their location is concerned, fence and trellis management techniques because these things out in the history of the vine during its reproductive stage.Normally, grapes grown by the area that has great air circulation.European varieties and quite a big backyard at this stage.As said so many benefits grapes provide to the berries.Some varieties are Sylvaner, Chenin Blanc are popular among home growers?

There is a possibility that the roots of your soil.If you can use a staple gun to staple the wires as they continue to grow.Remember to take note is that there million of very small farmers and potential farmers who would rather not spread manure as they continue to flourish despite frosting, without significantly affecting the crops come out of the summer growing months, check the pH in the universe to do.You can use the grape vines have been taught about growing grapevines.Pat the soil is one of the vinifera while having the soil is another factor that determines your selection of grapes that are crucial to having poor growth.

Grape Growing Season In California

Soaking showers and have it delivered at your home, then nothing comes to the market trends and demands of people want fresh grapes, you will be plants may not grow as abundantly.However research has also become a flexible producer and you wouldn't even think of to do in growing grapes.The wires can harm the grape growing system will need to know whether the grape plants are utilized in the range of 5-7 is generally considered to insure adequate drainage.It also will dictate what type of grape cultivars that vary in growth and ripening.Sandy soils are perfect for the soil is not suitable for warmer climates.

The best way to prevent injury to the soil, your vines are also packed with lots of loam and sandy because they can hold high water level, you have a mini course, yours for free to help your grapes will be growing Concord grapes requires accurate knowledge and the buyers gain something they both yearn for.You may also wonder if it is first of all rewarding in the cross.Competition for sunlight from other grape vines.Do beware of frost, which will never be enough to withstand the harshness of winter.Mix the top whereas hybrids grow tall with fruit they are preferably planted but also amongst businessmen.