#and for that matter you can't hear anyone else scream either

[carionto]

I'm gonna go for a quick run

Being on space stations is all well and good fun. And work. And people. Most of whom you like. And snacks. God, space snacks are the best, half the time the Aliens who bring them are like:

"We read this may be poisonous to Huma

They never get a chance to finish that sentence before I grab whatever it is and munch it down. Pretty much every time it's real spicy or oddly invigorating, it's a nice pastime learning what everyone's shocked expressions look like. Okay, I've had to go to the clinic a few times, and one time I was in a coma for two weeks, but I'm still alive and kicking!

There is the downside of all the noise when everyone talks. The translator unit does dampen to almost nothing everything it translates, but my left ear is sensitive so I tend to take that unit off whenever I'm off the clock. Let me tell you, when everyone is used to hearing everything in their tongue at normal volumes, many end up developing a much louder natural voice.

It gets real confusing sometimes. One thing I have begun to notice is the accents - everyone has very distinct ones. The translator normally renders in a neutral tone, and only adds a slight tinge for the more culturally prominent accents so people understand they are from a different major section of their respective race. But without it, there's so much to each language. At this point I can recognize twenty different clicking sounds that are the same word for this one species.

However, the cafeteria is a hellhole. A radio emitting white noise in a blender that's being microwaved is a peaceful and melodic tune compared to the mixture of thousands of every conceivable noise an organic creature could make. And many more I thought they couldn't - what kind of nightmare anatomy makes a sound that I can only describe as a sickly polystyrene foam mule getting squeezed in a rusty vice.

What kind of ears think that sounds okay?

What kind of noise do they make when making l

actually I don't wanna think about that

I'm just...

gonna go for a run now.

_____________________

Several minutes later.

Among the friendly chatter and typical gossip you find at lunch hour, people started hearing a rhythmic thumping sound regularly coming and going. After the third round, someone decided to investigate and opened their pad to tap into the public camera system. Switching from one to another, they suddenly screamed and dropped their device in shock.

It was Human Hanson. He was in his protective suit. Running in laps.

Around the OUTSIDE of the station!

[angelltheninth]

Keeping Quiet with the Blue Lock Men

Pairing: Isagi Yoichi, Bachira Meguru, Sae Itoshi, Rin Itoshi, Kunigami Rensuke, Hyoma Chigiri, Baro Shoei, Nagi Seishiro, Reo Mikage x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, established relationship, trying to keep quiet, kissing, rough sex, creampie, teasing, size difference, choking, locker room sex, shower sex, clothes sharing, hand over mouth

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters

A/N: How quiet could you be? Be honest.

Isagi actually wants to hear you, when you're completely alone he wants to hear you. But when there's a danger you could get caught he does know why you want to keep it down, as much as he doesn't want it to happen. He tries to help you out by almost never pulling his lips away from yours, the issue is that then everyone knows you had sex because both your lips will be red and swollen from kissing.

Bachira plays with you a lot when you're having sex. It doesn't matter what the setting is, the dorm room, the locker room, the showers, he is passionate about you and he will make sure you know it, and anyone else who might pass by, but that isn't his concern now is it? One moment he'll be going nice and slow, letting you whimper, the next he switches it up and you're all but screaming his name.

Sae is very quiet when you're having sex so he expects the same from you, no matter how rough he gets. When you're being too loud he stops, almost without warning and leaves you to take care of the rest by yourself. If this seems like training that's because it is, volume for you and edging for him, which makes it all the better when all he hears when he creampies your cunt is the wet sloppy sounds.

Rin knows you're too much of a cockslut to keep quiet so he goes the simple route and places his hand over your mouth to muffle the sounds you're making. If he's feeling like testing you he will push his fingers into your mouth instead, keeping your mouth busy while fucking his cock in and out of your pussy and feeling both your holes pulsing around him. Which might be even more fun for you.

Kunigami uses his size difference to his advantage and to help you keep quiet. He can lift you up easily, allowing his cock to get in balls deep at the new angle, however he also gets you at the perfect height in which you can bite into his shoulder to keep your moans down. Seeing as he will be covered no one will see the bites, as long as he remembers not to take his jersey off while playing.

Chigiri feels conflicted about slowing down while fucking you just so you don't get caught by his team. When he sees you wearing his clothes he can hardly control himself, or the speed and force of his thrusts. Even if you do keep completely quiet there's always a chance that the sounds of his body smacking against yours will give you both away.

Baro wants to help you out but he does it in his own way. By choking you, not too hard, enough to leave fingerprints on your throat though, but he is always mindful of how hard he presses down and where he puts his hand. He squeezes just as you start to moan, turning the sound into a wheeze or a squeal that makes you sound both pathetic and cute while you squeeze all the cum from his balls.

Nagi takes you into the showers when he can't wait to get to his or your room. The door will block some of the noise but it will also echo inside the shower stall, the best of both worlds in his opinion, and you don't have to be that quiet either. If you insist on it then at least reward him with tiny moans right next to his ear so he knows that you're enjoying yourself.

Reo gets loud too, he never had to hold back in anything in his life and he's not gonna start while he's having sex with his girlfriend. As a huge fan of creampies he offers them as a reward if you can keep your voice down, but he never said in which hole he plans to do it in. If you really can't keep it down he will push his cock into your mouth and make you swallow, taking care of the mess and your noises.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Meeting Yamazaki Shingen for the First Time: Sleepless Nights

G/N. 1.7k strangers to~. Soft. Arranged marriage trope. Masterlists

Disappointing, you've heard people say about you. Disobedient.

Troublemaker, should be seen and not heard, your mother chides you while your father just looks on with resentment, as if he couldn't believe they could have created such an insolent child.

In exchange for being the black sheep of your family, you're offered, kicking and screaming, to Yamazaki Shingen. Trading your life and freedom to elevate your family's name and standing.

If you can't be a filial offspring and make your parents proud, the least you can be is useful.

To everyone's surprise, the Yamazaki clan accepts.

.

.

With relief, you realise there isn't going to be a wedding night.

This isn’t a marriage. You're only one of many. No-one has been deemed worthy enough to sit by Shingen's side as the head of the family. This doesn't bother you.

Nor the fact that you have not seen the man you have been allegedly sold off to and you quietly count your blessings.

Instead, you're treated as an extra pair of hands, almost a servant. Spending your days helping out around the household with any chores and errands as they see fit. It's hard, gruelling work.

You collapse every night in your futon out of exhaustion and sleep takes no time at all.

It's still a better life than you had before.

.

.

Though the routine might be growing familiar, it's still a stranger's home and a strange room and a strange futon that you're lying on.

Tonight, the strangeness of your situation overwhelms.

You miss your old room, the softness of your old pillow on your skin, the smell of your own belongings.

Tonight, sleep is nowhere to be found.

.

.

You're greeted by a silhouette sitting in the courtyard.

Outlined by the moonlight, size more monster than human. Although in any other circumstances you might feel fear, this is the Yamazaki home, you think. No-one, not even monsters, would dare trespass.

You find your own space to sit in. You wonder if he even knows you're here or if this is two strangers letting the silence grow comfortable between them.

"Who are you?" comes his voice, and the peace breaks. It's low, almost a growl.

It takes you a moment to realise you didn't dream it and you tell him your name.

"I can't sleep." you add and you hear a sharp exhale of amusement.

He doesn't volunteer any information about himself and you don't ask.

Nevertheless, it's a kindred spirit, you decide. Someone else suffering from sleep evading them.

He continues to sit, still as a rock, and you join him. Breath deepening and eyelids growing heavier by the second. Your head drops forward, jolting you awake and you take your leave.

.

.

In the morning and for several weeks after, you're not sure if the man had been conjured up by your imagination.

If in your sleep-induced haze, your mind created someone you could relate to, no matter how trivial the bond.

You search but don't see anyone in the Yamazaki family that could look like him.

You almost mistake Shintaro for him, the Vice President who has been courteous if a little cold, except in your blurred memories you think the stranger has wild long hair.

.

.

Over time, you forget about him. Someone that could either be a figment of your imagination or as real as the floor you’re currently scrubbing.

You let your daily tasks wash over you. Following instructions without argument and keeping to yourself.

Your hands grow calloused and energy drains.

A state of overtiredness finally overwhelms you.

Where you can feel the fatigue deep in your bones, your body hovering in a state between conscious and unconscious, moving in a haze, yet your mind is alive and wired and sleep won't take no matter how much you toss and turn.

.

.

He’s there again.

But as the days grow, the nights are no longer as dark as it was and you can make out more of his features.

Your brain didn’t deceive you. His form is as large as you remembered, maybe larger. A good few heads taller than you and powerfully muscled. Hair long, like a sheet of darkness past his shoulders. 

“Evening,” you say as a way of greeting, your voice carrying in the quiet night breeze. His head snaps to yours, though you can’t make out his face.

You feel his gaze on you as you sit, folding your legs under you.

You close your eyes, enjoying the silence. Feeling the warm air on your skin and caressing your hair. No longer as frigid or cool as it was when you first stepped foot into the Yamazaki clan.

“Another sleepless night,” he says. You don’t know whether it’s a question for you or a confession of sorts for him.

In the end, you echo him, agreeing with the sentiment. “Another sleepless night.”

.

.

Curiosity keeps you awake rather than exhaustion or anxiety or insomnia the next night, wondering if the man is still there sitting like a lonely statue.

Your mind leads you fully this time. 

At dusk, you carefully slide the door behind you as your feet pad onto the soft grass, brain and body awake.

He’s there. In the same spot, in the same position.

It’s even lighter tonight, and you can see his features. His black eyes, the startling white irises, the emptiness in his gaze.

You do as you have done before, sitting down a few metres away. 

“Why are you here?” he asks, tone inquisitive. Your footsteps and movement have given you away. You’re much more alert, less sluggish, no longer moving as if in a dream state and he has noticed.

“I wondered if you were here every night.” You tell him, opting for honesty.

The silence stretches as you wait for his answer. Eventually you hear-

“Yes.”

.

.

The twilight meetings become routine. Only a handful of words are exchanged on a given night, if any at all.

Yet you have come to think of him as the guardian of your slumber. Some nights you drift off as soon as your head hits your pillow, and when morning comes, you feel a pang of guilt for not joining your companion.

He never comments on it, though you think his eyes are a little warmer whenever he sees you again.

.

.

At the change of seasons, when the day grows hot and sticky, you are summoned to Yamazaki Shingen’s quarters.

You had allowed yourself to forget that you are only in this household to be used for breeding potential, no better than livestock. 

Disregarded that the dowry the Yamazaki clan paid for you was too high a price for a simple servant and became so accustomed to your daily chores, pretended this day would never come.

At sundown, the head housekeeper, a crotchety old woman guides you to your doom.

You would have considered escaping if she wasn’t flanked by bodyguards, two men with matching severe expressions. You would have considered asking for help if your only companion, the person you have sort of befriended, was nowhere to be found in the courtyard.

“Master Shingen has been dissatisfied. He hasn’t been with anyone in months,” the housekeeper says, subdued and not breaking pace. She gives you a look as if that is your problem to solve. “The elders are getting worried.”

Good, you want to snap back. Let them be worried. Let this stupid clan die off.

Just as you’re about to say something you would no doubt regret, she stops abruptly in front of an oversized door. You almost careen into the back of her but the bodyguard’s hands shoot out and steady you.

“I’m fine,” you hiss, shoving their hands off you.

“Now in you go,” she rolls her eyes at your outburst, opening the door and pushing you in with her talons, “And do behave.”

.

.

Shit shit shit.

The room is almost pitch black, only illuminated by a sliver of moonlight through the windows.

Adrenaline courses through your body and you desperately will your eyes to adjust to the darkness, even as they dart around fruitlessly, looking for a weapon, for anything-

When you sense another presence in the room with you and you stop moving.

“What are you doing?” comes his voice.

Your breath hitches. 

It’s one that you have only heard sparingly but have nevertheless looked forward to hearing again. A figure you have sought out night after night.

“Is-Is that you?” 

A chuckle from the shadows. “Yes.”

Could this really be him? “Y-Yamazaki Shingen?” You stammer, a literal shot in the dark. 

“Yes,” he replies and you feel your legs almost buckle out beneath you. “Come closer.”

Incredulous at this twist of fate, you carefully make your way towards the centre of the room. Your eyes, at long last, are able to pick out the silhouette sitting on the bed, and that there is a bed. 

Does he expect... Does he want you to-?

“No,” he cuts in like he’s able to read your thoughts. “I want your company. Like you did mine.”

His white irises are practically glowing, boring into you.

“Another sleepless night?” you ask tentatively. Groping for an olive branch, for that connection.

“Another sleepless night,” Shingen agrees, and everything finally falls into place.

.

.

Like all those nights before, Shingen is a man of few words. He observes you as you try to find comfort in his space, in a room completely unfamiliar to you.

He finds a strange companionship, ease in your presence. You don’t ask for anything from him, and in return, he doesn’t ask for anything from you.

Except, well - this.

And only this. He has no intentions of forcing what you do not want to give.

As you lay your head down next to his, a small smile of relief on your face that things have surprisingly worked out, Shingen, to his own surprise finds that he’s smiling back.

For the first time in a long time, he falls asleep in his own bed. 

He falls asleep easily tonight and every night thereafter - to the sound of your breathing, and the warmth of your body next to his.

[bandgie]

MDNI 18+, fem!reader

I have, once again, been thinking about hooking up with Lee Know at the back of a club

drabble ahead!

warnings: intoxication and very public sex

your chest is pressed against the wall while lee know fucks up into you. the wall vibrates with the loud music, and you could hardly hear your own moans, but it wasn't enough to stop either of you.

he just feels so good. maybe it's the alcohol, but you swear you see stars every time lee know slams his hips into your ass. everyone could see you, anyone could whip out their phones to record the public indecency, but you can't find yourself to care.

it's not like you two are the only ones fucking in the club, but you might be the most desperate. arousal drips down your thighs from your many orgasms, and lee know hasn't cum once. he's set on using you for as long as possible, even if it's just for a night.

you only know his name, and he yours. nothing else mattered when both of you were horny and needy for release. he was hot enough, and he had an aura that screamed sex. you thought it would be a quick fuck for the night, but he's been steadily pounding into you for nearly half an hour.

his hands stay on your hips, one of them still holding his beer. lee know raises the glass to his lips, taking a messy drink. it drips down his chin onto your lower back, making you shiver from the cold liquid.

your ass bounces back to his waist when his hips slow. even in your fucked out state, you can't spare a second without his constant pounding. the pressure and throbbing in your cunt is unbearably good, and you think you might never be able to find dick this good ever again.

lee know smiles at your pathetic attempts to fuck yourself on him, and he watches how your pussy swells around his length before pushing him back out. a smile finds his lips as he realizes the slut he's let use his cock. even if he can see your legs shaking, you still find the energy to pathetically take him inside over and over.

He takes another swig of his beer before returning to his grip. lee know's hips are quick and precise. his cock kisses your womb with every thrust and you whine uncontrollably. the pleasurable warmth builds in your tummy before it releases on lee know's length.

the convulsing and twitching of your walls makes him finish inside you. lee know pulls out suddenly, he's still cumming as he paints your back and dress white. you feel pitifully empty without his cock or cum, but you manage to come down from your high satisfied.

he doesn't help you with your underwear when your shaky limbs pull them up. he instead tucks his leaking cock in his boxers quickly.

it's now that you realize someone has been blowing up your phone. missed calls and multiple texts in all capitalized letters that you can't decipher from the spelling errors. a sudden message does catch your interest though.

"lee know, whose DISPATCH and why are we on the front cover fucking?"

[notafunkiller]

you were mine just yesterday - co-written with @marvelouslizzie

Summary: It's been a while since your break up with Bucky happened, but you're still not over him. You try to move on, go out, and have fun with your friend, Steve, but you end up in the same bar you two went to often. It also just happens that Bucky is there too, with Natasha by his side. It doesn't take long for you two to end up getting into old habits.

Pairing: exes!Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word count: 10.7K

Warnings: 18+, second chance romance, teasing, dirty talk and pet names, language, jealousy, fingering, nipples play, oral séx (the reader receiving), choking, clit play, metal arm, no condom (but they are both clean and the reader is on birth control), aftercare, alcohol (but she is not even tipsy), death mention, no mention of y/n.

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission! I really hope you’ll enjoy it, I can’t wait to read what you think.

The screams he hears when he opens the door and holds it so Natasha can get inside first already make him regret agreeing to this. He absolutely hates crowded places, but at the same time the food is great here, and it's literally one street away from his apartment, he can suck it up a little.

“Come on, I'm starving.”

Bucky looks around, trying to spot anything and anyone that could be suspicious, but everything seems fine.

“You can't relax even for a second, can you?”

He rolls his eyes, but right before he can comment something sarcastic in return, he hears it... your laugh, followed by a strong smell of cherries, and he immediately looks toward the bar. There you are: dressed in a lovely shirt and your favorite pair of pants, with a huge smile on your face. You look out of this world but you aren't alone, no. His stomach aches at the sight of you sharing drinks with his fucking best friend as if nothing else matters.

“Bucky?” Natasha's voice isn't enough to make him tear his eyes off you. “Hey! You said you're starving.”

“What the fuck is this?”

Bucky’s voice doesn’t go unheard by Steve.

“Oh shit,” he mumbles. “Bucky is here with Natasha.”

The moment you hear Natasha’s name you feel like someone punched you in the guts. You instantly start looking around and it doesn’t take long until you finally see them together, standing there and looking for a place. Bucky with Natasha… Why doesn’t that surprise you? A better question: Why does it hurt that much to hear it? You should have expected this.

“We should go and say hi. They're staring.”

“Is this a fucking joke?” Bucky finally looks at Natasha with a deep frown. “Did you know this?”

“Know what?”

He finds it hard to speak as if something was stuck in his throat. “About... them.”

“I didn’t know they would be here.”

Bucky seems like he doesn’t know what to do. He's trying his best not to have a breakdown right then, because how could this happen to him?

“Maybe we should leave,” you say to Steve, feeling uncomfortable already. You are in no mood to watch Bucky and Natasha together. But when you make a move to stand up, Steve gently touches your hand to stop you.

“You can’t run away from him forever.” He’s right. You can’t. You don’t feel like facing them today, but you shouldn’t be the one running either. You slowly sit back down, feeling grateful that you aren’t alone.

“Can you suck it up a little, Barnes? I won’t act like I didn’t see them just because you can’t face your ex, who, by the way, is still our friend.” Natasha rolls her eyes at him, hiding her smirk and starts to walk toward the bar. “Plus, they look like they’re having fun.”

You notice Steve smiling, but you have no idea why. When you see Natasha coming toward you and Bucky following her like a puppy, you understand and try to fake a smile, too, before taking a big sip from your drink.

“Hi. What a coincidence, nice to see you here.” Natasha leans in to kiss Steve on the cheek, then you after you let the glass on the table.

“Hi,” you force the word out of your mouth as nicely as you can. It’s not that you dislike Natasha. On the contrary, you find her a smart, well-traveled, obviously, woman. You liked her opinions in most of the conversations you had, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t jealous of her when she’s around Bucky because of the same reasons.

“So nice to see you, Natasha.” Steve keeps the conversation going. “Bucky!” He tilts his head just a little to see him behind Natasha.

You don't dare to look, though. Your hands are already sweating. Seeing him so close would make your state even worse.

“Steve.” You close your eyes instinctively at the sound of his voice, but you open them when he mentions your name too.

“Hi.”

“What are you having? This looks sooo tasty.” Natasha has always been good at making conversation regardless of her feelings, and you never wished more than then to be like that too.

“Oh.” Steve casually stirs his drink with the cocktail pick. “It’s a cherry cocktail but it’s not on the menu.”

“Of course.” Bucky steps aside from behind Natasha and comes closer to you with a serious, unreadable expression. “The famous cherry cocktail.” His tone is dripping in sarcasm as he leans in and, without any warning, he takes Steve's glass and downs it in three seconds. “Less flavor than usual.”

You don't realize the death glare you're giving Bucky until you feel Steve's hand on your skin, probably trying to calm you down. You can’t believe his audacity. This is the man who broke your heart and left you and he thinks he can just come here and act like this? Hell no!

Bucky's eyes fall to your arm and leans in again, placing the empty glass down and taking two cherries from the cherries glass.

“It’s fine,” Steve says in a way that is extra calm.

“Yeah, it is fine.” You find yourself agreeing immediately. “I can get them to make you a better one.”

“Well, I am curious now.” Natasha gives you a warm smile. “Or do we interrupt something?”

“I can order you one, as well, if you want.” You offer with a fake smile on your face, ignoring her implication. You can feel Bucky’s gaze on you even though you aren’t looking in his direction.

“No need. Come on, Nat. I’m starving.”

Nat…

“You sure?” You are only looking at Natasha and ignoring Bucky. “I can talk to the bartender and he can bring you the cocktail. He’s a good friend, he wouldn’t mind.”

Bucky puffs, shaking his head.

“You okay, Buck?” Steve can't help but ask.

“Yeah, are you okay?” You try to look as casual as possible.

“If I weren't, would you offer me a drink made by your good friend, too?” His eyes and voice don't tell you much. He asks you this in the most casual way possible. Even Natasha looks surprised.

“I think you need something stronger.” Your eyes are wandering to Natasha for a second. “Since you already tried it and didn’t like the cherry cocktail that much.”

He shrugs, not denying what you said despite it being a huge lie. Then he smirks and looks at Natasha and Steve. “I assume you don't mind us joining you, right? I'm starving.”

Of course he doesn’t ask you. He knows your answer and still decides to do this. Okay, if that’s what he wants…

Steve turns his head to you, asking you indirectly if this is okay, and you nod, trying not to look affected. Especially when he sits next to you with Natasha on his left.

You instinctively move away from him and closer to Steve.

Bucky starts to take off his jacket as he speaks. “I'm not gonna eat you, you know?”

“Hmm?” You give him a look.

“I'm not into human meat, don't worry.” He takes off his gloves. Your eyes immediately fall to his hands and you feel the sadness spread inside you. It’s so overwhelming to be around him, yet you don’t want to give him the pleasure of seeing how hard this is for you.

“I’m aware. I’m just more comfortable like this.” You reach for your drink and take a sip, turning your attention to Steve. “Should I order a new one for you or would you rather drink something else?”

Bucky puffs. “He can order for himself. He is over 100 years old, doll.”

You ignore Bucky’s comment and look over to Natasha. “Do you wanna try the cocktail, Natasha?”

She hesitates, looking at you and at Bucky, and you try not to roll your eyes.

“Do you have any suggestions with strawberries? I love strawberries.” She points to Steve. "He does, too."

 “I’m more of a cherry girl, but we can ask my friend. I’m sure he has some good suggestions.”

“Such a close friend”

“Yeah.” You ignore Bucky and raise your hand. The bartender gives you a smile before coming closer.

“Hey. Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fantastic. I just need another one of these.” You raise your nearly empty glass. “And Natasha wants to ask for your recommendations for a drink with strawberries.” You point at her while saying her name.

He gives a few options and both Steve and her agree on one.

“What about you?”

Bucky looks at him bored. “A burger: chicken, extra pickles, please.”

“Any drinks?”

“Your cheapest beer will do.” You respond instead of Bucky, and he immediately gives you a questioning look and lifts his eyebrow. But he doesn’t seem to care, and the bartender just nods and leaves.

 “So,” Natasha starts. “For how long have you two been hanging out?”

Steve looks at Bucky. “We never stopped hanging out.”

“Why would you?” Natasha winks at you, and Bucky feels he is going crazy. Many images of you and Steve laughing, walking together, even kissing take over his mind.

“Exactly.” You smile in response.

“What about you two?” Steve asks with a mischievous smile on his face.

“What about us?” Bucky asks immediately, giving Steve a hard look. “Do you want to gossip with the ladies present?”

 “That never stopped you before.” You didn’t intend to say it out loud, but it’s already out there.

Bucky's head instantly turns to you. “What?”

“I said that never stopped you before.” It’s too late to back out so you decide to go for it. Bucky usually doesn’t care who is around. He says what he wants to say when he wants to say it. So your presence shouldn’t stop him.

“I heard you the first time. I was waiting for additional explanation.”

“Oh, good. I thought your hearing was getting worse for a sec.” You just look into his eyes. “You always say what you wanna say. So why would us being present stop you now?”

“My senses are perfect, thank you for your concern. Natasha and I are hanging out, too, obviously.”

Your bartender comes back with the drinks and that stops the conversation. He puts your drinks by one by, saving Bucky’s beer for the last.

“We’re out of our cheapest one so I brought the second cheapest. I hope that’s okay.”

 “I'll survive,” Bucky murmurs.

“Your burger is coming up in five minutes.” And with that remark, he leaves you four alone.

“This tastes amazing,” Steve smiles, squeezing your hand, and Natasha immediately agrees.

“Yeah.”

“Glad you like it.”

“Want to try it, Bucky?” She asks him with an innocent smile, which makes your blood boil.

Bucky shakes his head and drinks from his bottle. “Ah, this tastes too expensive.”

“You’ll survive,” you whisper, imitating his tone.

“Oh, I will.” He gives you the most charming smile you've seen in a while and takes your glass to take a sip.

“Will you stop drinking other people’s drinks without asking them?” You can’t hide how done you are with his entitled ass.

 “You'll survive, I'm sure.” He mocks you without a care in the world. You can feel the tension increasing, but you have no idea what to do. You can’t control your reactions, and he keeps pushing you.

“Oh, I will, but…” You move closer to him just a little. “If you need… you know… some help you can have a drink on me.”

 “Hmm.” He chuckles and moves closer, too immediately catching on to what you meant. “Don't worry about it, I am sure Nat would cover me.”

“I am sure she would.” You smile back, fighting the urge to roll your eyes and break the glass into tiny pieces, so you just put your drink in front of him. No way you are gonna keep drinking that.

“Hey, Adam!” The bartender looks at you from a bit far away. “Same drink, please.” He winks first and then nods.

Bucky frowns and downs the drink, trying to look unaffected. “You had no problems sharing drinks with me before.”

“Now I’m more careful about what I put into my body.”

Steve tries to mask his laugh by fake coughing, but you notice anyway. So Bucky must do it, too.

“I can see that. You don't mind sharing drinks with my best friend now.” He gives you a bitter smile for the first time in ages. The way he emphasized the word drinks makes you wonder what’s running through his mind.

Adam comes back with his burger and side dish, and you feel your mouth water. “Enjoy and let me know if you want anything else.”

Bucky takes a big bite from his burger as you reach out to his fries and take a couple without a care. If he can freely drink your cocktail, you can steal some of his fries.

Natasha and Steve look at you surprised.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asks, chewing loudly on purpose.

“Taking some of your fries.”

“Thought we don't share drinks and food anymore. We moved on from that. We passed that stage.”

You remark his and Natasha's closeness again and feel your blood boil.

“So it’s okay for you to do it, but it’s a problem when I do it?” Yet you take another fry and put it inside your mouth, looking directly into his eyes. You want him to know this is not about fries or sharing stuff.

Bucky's surprise is visible all over his face. He's simply speechless even after Adam brings you your drink and you give him a forced smile.

“Thanks, Adam,” You say like everything is fine. “I will use the restroom. Would you keep an eye on my drink for me, Steve?”

And you leave without waiting for an answer.

You go to the restroom, lock your door and sit down. You just need a minute alone because all of this is too much for you. Seeing him with Natasha tonight is hard enough, but he keeps challenging you. He acts like nothing is changed, but everything changed when he decided to walk away. Even though you don’t wanna admit it, your feelings for him are still there and they’re making everything harder.

You take a couple of deep breaths and remind yourself this was going to happen one day. It just happened to be today and you can get through it. You’ll be fine.

You get up, unlock the door and just wash your hands, splashing some water on your neck, too, before you look at yourself in the mirror. At least you are looking alright.

You jump when you hear the door opening and turn around just to see Bucky locking the door again.

“This is the ladies’ room!”

He looks at you as if he can't understand what you're saying.

“I said this is the ladies-”

“I heard you the first time. What the fuck do you think you're doing?”

You puff. “I should be the one asking that question.”

“I am not here sharing drinks with your best friend, am I?” He walks toward you.

“No, you are here with Nat.”

Bucky washes his hands in response, not understanding how you can compare Nat with Steve. You are here on a date with his best friend.

“Have fun with Nat and stay away from my drinks.” You leave the ladies’ room, but he’s right behind you.

“I wasn't finished with you.”

“That sounds like a you-problem. I have a drink that’s waiting for me.”

“Just be honest and say Steve is waiting for you.”

“Just like Nat is waiting for you.” You look like you are tired of this conversation already when you snap.

“Are you having fun, doll? Are we bothering you? Did you want to enjoy your date all alone?”

You make a face when you hear the word date. So that’s why he was acting like that. He thinks you are on a date with Steve. “What I do with my life is none of your concern! Just go and enjoy your own date.”

“None of my concern, right?” His calm facade is finally falling. “You are on a fucking date with my best friend!”

“Oh, so that’s why you decided to be an ass? Because you think Steve picked up the toy you threw away?”

When he gets so close to you, you feel like you're suffocating. “Careful.”

“Or what?”

“You forgot what happens?”

“Oh,” you say in a mocking tone. The audacity he has! “Well, too bad you don’t get to do that anymore.”

“Does he do that?” He closes his eyes, still too close to you. “Do you let him touch you? Is this why he isn't around?”

You raise your hand instantly, wanting to slap him right there for crossing a line, but you manage to control yourself, remembering his past. You see him closing his eyes instinctively and you sigh. You might be mad at him, but you wouldn't hurt him like this. He is not a bad person… And you don’t wanna bring his trauma back.

You take a deep breath and retreat your hand.

“Maybe he isn’t around because you are an ass, did you consider that?”

“Why him?” He opens his eyes. “I would take all of your slaps instead of living through this.”

He sounds so weak, and tired, and sad. There is a part inside you that gets angrier because he thinks so low of you, but there is another part that understands and wants to assure him you would never do that to him.

“Why him what? I’m not dating your best friend, Bucky. Pull your head out of your ass!”

He freezes. He really freezes and lets out a deep, deep breath as if he's been holding it for a long time. His forehead drops until it meets yours, and you gasp surprised.

“I was going insane, baby. I felt like my life was just...”

You take a step back, not letting yourself enjoy his touch or his baby. “It doesn’t change the fact that you are here with Nat.”

“What about Nat?”

“What about Nat?” You repeat his question. “Did you forget she’s waiting for you? Or the fact that you suddenly left me? Me not dating Steve changes nothing. So stop calling me baby or doll or whatever charming pet name you come up with.”

Bucky laughs humorlessly as he shakes his head. “You think I'm really with Nat? You think I could ever replace you? That I'd even try?”

“Then why the fuck did you leave me?” You are so close to shouting, but you still don’t want people to hear you. Your eyes are getting filled with tears.

 “Why do you think, huh? Do I look happy to you? You think I'd leave you to date Romanoff?”

 “Why not? She’s perfect!”

Bucky looks at you dumb-faced. “For who? For what? Why do you...”

“For you! You two are a perfect match!” You take a breath, trying to contain your emotions. You don’t want to cry in front of him.

He is instantly touching your arms again, making you shiver. “Why would you say that?”

“Because even if you aren’t dating now, you will realize how perfect she is for you eventually. So go back inside. Don’t let her wait.” You sniffle, your head is slightly shaking because of all the emotions you are holding back.

His flesh hand grabs your chin and you feel his hot lips on top of yours before you can react.

The way he kisses you makes you wanna cry even more. It reminds you of everything you tried so hard to forget yet never managed to…

Even though you want to give in, you take a step back. You can’t handle another heartbreak.

“Don’t…” The tears start to fall down. “Just don’t.”

“Do you not want me?” His eyes are teary, too, and there is nothing to hide anymore. But he can't ask this, he can't do this to you. He is unfair. He left you, he broke it off. He...

“Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?” You try to dry your tears with the back of your hand. “You can’t just come back, kiss me and expect everything to be fixed!”

 “I am so fucking sorry, baby. I wasn't trying to hurt you.” He stops himself and sighs. “I really don't deserve you. I keep making you cry.”

“Saying sorry isn’t enough, Bucky. What did you think would happen when you left me? Did you think it wouldn’t break my heart? Is this what you want to hear? That you broke my heart when you left me? Here! I’m heartbroken because of you. Happy now? Can we go back inside now?”

“I just wanted...” He shakes his head, wiping off his tears. “Let's just get inside.”

“What did you want Bucky? Tell me. What did you wanna hear?”

“I'm not worth it, that's fucking clear. I am sorry for this whole mess I brought into your life.”

“Don’t ever say that!” You angrily point your finger at him. “You know how much I think you deserve. This is solely about you leaving me. You made that decision, remember? I opened my heart to you and you left me! Don’t make me feel guilty about getting hurt.”

 “Don’t you realize how dangerous it is?” He says desperately, looking you in the eye. “I would get you killed... we all would...”

“Really? Is that why you left me?” It angers you more than you imagined. This is probably the worst reason he could give you. Like you were safe before meeting him. As if he didn’t save your life.

“Bucky?”

You jump when you hear Natasha.

“What?” He snaps, looking at her. There is nothing in his eyes that can be even close to desire, you notice.

“Are you gonna come back or should we leave and let you cry for the rest of the night?”

“No, Nat, we're leaving.”

You grab Bucky’s arm and drag him out despite the shocked look on Natasha’s face, and Bucky just lets you.

“Pay the check. He's gonna transfer you the money for our order later,” you say casually while half of the restaurant looks at you.

Steve throws him his leather jacket without hiding his smirk, and Bucky catches it, giving him a typical Bucky look without saying anything.

“Where are we going?” Bucky finally asks when you’re outside and you let go of his arm.

“Your place obviously. Did you walk or took the motor like a lazy ass?”

Bucky rolls his eyes and puts on his jacket. “I walked.”

“Fine. So we are walking back to your place then.” You wait for him to move as he laughs and shakes his head.

“What?”

“You said that when we met too.”

You roll your eyes. He’s always been a stubborn ass. You remember him insisting the serum will do its job and he’ll heal faster, but you couldn’t just let him bleed, so you had to drag him to your place. “Just walk.”

“Bossy.”

“If I remember correctly, you said that when we met.” You don’t wait for him and just start to walk, trying not to think about what he said.

You miss his huge grin and his boyish look, but you hear his footsteps. He reaches your side in no time. “I missed you.”

You close your eyes for a second and try really hard not to say you missed him too. “I can’t do this again, Bucky. I can’t get my heart broken for the second time.” You sound like you are in pain.

He nods. “I didn't even think you’d want that.”

“I just don’t understand what you are trying to do.”

“You deserve to know the truth and the context, so you can stay away from us for good.”

You huff, but you don’t say anything. You two walk in silence for a while and luckily it doesn’t take more than five minutes to arrive at his place.

You get to his door and the familiarity is killing you. So many memories come to your mind and you're not even inside yet.

When you finally step in, it's like time has not passed: the TV, the couch... except for the sheet. The sheet is back on the floor.

“Are you sleeping on the ground again?”

Bucky sighs, taking off his shoes. “Can we ignore that? Let's focus on your questions. Do you want a glass of water?”

“Answer my question while pouring me a glass of water then.”

“The man who almost killed you when we met?” He opens the fridge and takes out the water bottle before directly handing it to you. “He's a part of the new wave of Hydra.”

You look at him, feeling completely confused. You don’t even notice the water bottle.

Hydra?

 “They might know about you...” He bites his bottom lip entirely, showing his frustration. “We managed to take a few down. They are careless as fuck, so young and dumb.” He just puts down the bottle on the kitchen counter.

 “You… left me… because you think they are after me because of you?”

Bucky looks away. “Does it matter?”

“Isn’t that why I am here? Because you wanted me to know the truth. So just tell me. Is that why you left me?”

“He knew your name, where you work, your family.” Bucky pauses, trying to control his anger. “He knew we were together. I have no idea how because you know... you know I never let my guard down. And what if they’d have gotten you? What if they do? You need to stay away from me, us.”

He can’t believe Steve or the rest thought it’s okay to continue to be around you.

“So you decided to leave me alone, be a more vulnerable target. Good job Bucky! Very well done!” You start to clap. “You are the dumbest person I have ever met.”

“Do you honestly think I left you unprotected?” Bucky puffs, as if he can't believe you'd ever think that.

“Then why did you have to leave? What was the point, huh? If they already knew all that stuff about me… about us… What the fuck was the point?”

“What if they kidnap you or kill you just have me back?”

You sigh. “You know that’s always a possibility in our world right?”

He hesitates before speaking. “What if they trigger me?”

You take a frustrated deep breath. There is no way they can do that again. No way! But if he thinks that, then it means he doesn’t trust himself or his skills. Again. “You accepted the defeat already.”

Bucky snaps immediately. “Do you not understand I could kill you? I could kill you and not even...” He closes his eyes unable to look at you as he speaks. He could not recognize you. He could make you suffer in the worst possible ways if you were his target.

“This is why I said you accepted the defeat already!”

 “I could kill you...” Bucky repeats so shaken.

 “You wouldn’t.” You’ve never been more sure in your life.

 “How do you know that? I almost killed everyone...”

 “You didn’t kill Steve.”

Bucky gets closer again, shocked by how calmly you talk about his worst nightmare. “I can't risk that. I cannot risk your life.”

 “So you would rather leave me alone and heartbroken.”

 “Yes.” His answer comes instantly. “If you're alive, that's-”

 “And go back to sleeping on the ground!”

“It's not like I sleep much anyway.” The way he says it... like it's not a big deal at all amazes you.

“You know what bothers me about all of this? Something I didn’t think you would do...”

“What?”

“You took my choice away.”

Bucky is shaking when he hears you, completely taken aback.

 “Instead of telling me about all the risks, you decided on your own. I would never do that to you.”

“I dreamed about this. I... I saw you,” he pauses. “I was choking you."

 “Not something you didn’t do before.” Your response comes instantly, without much thinking because the tension is killing you and you want to lighten the mood a little. “Choking, I mean.”

And he smiles. You make him smile and it feels like you won the lottery. “You quite liked that.”

“You did, too.”

“I did, you were very pretty.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

Bucky sighs, not knowing what to say. “I'm sorry for putting you through all of this.”

“There’s something else you should also apologize about.”

“What?”

“For taking my choice away...”

“I am sorry for that,” he says instantly. “But I don't regret it. I made the right choice.”

“If you don’t regret it, we don’t have anything to talk about. I don’t need your sorry.” If he doesn’t regret it, what’s the point of this conversation?

“Your life is worth everything to me." His voice is so soft as he speaks.

“I understand that, but it doesn’t make it any better.”

“I am sorry for not telling you." He keeps apologizing.

“You don’t regret it, though. So… I don’t know where to go from here. Maybe I should go.”

He tries to hide his disappointment. He's being unfair and he knows it. “If that is what you want... let me grab the hamlets and I can give you a ride.”

“I don’t need a ride.” You don’t want to be that close to him on his motorcycle. You can handle yourself. You wish things were different, that he had told you the truth. You would have to make him see things from your perspective, but he didn’t share anything with you. He pushed you away completely.

“No fucking way.” Bucky shakes his head. “You should know this by now.”

“You’re not my boyfriend anymore so you don’t have a say.”

“No,” he simply responds.

“The sooner you accept that you have no say in my life anymore the better.” He can’t keep acting like he’s a part of your life. You understand his fear, his good intentions, but he refuses to see the whole picture. You’re not safe either way and he still protects you. He could have done it and still be by your side.

Bucky comes even closer to you. “It's not safe. Did you not hear me until now?”

“So dropping me off is somehow safer? Do you ever hear yourself? You told me you left me because my life was in danger and you don’t regret breaking my heart. And now you wanna drop me home and make me a target again? Is sleeping on the ground killing your brain cells too?”

“I have a fucking metal arm.” He raises his left arm. “I didn't mean just Hydra's dumb men. I mean normal dumb men too.”

“I did not forget that you have a metal arm, but you did since you broke up with me. And you apparently also forgot that I can handle dumb men all by myself. You chose this! You had your reasons, I get it, but you can’t just come back whenever you feel like it, okay? You can’t go all passive-aggressive like you did to Steve because I am on a date. You can’t offer to drop me off. If you’d decided to get out of my life, stand by that choice. Since you don’t regret it, it shouldn’t be that hard.” With every sentence, your anger is rising. You don’t realize you say the words like you’re spitting them out.

“I did not mean it like that.” He ignores the comment about how you can handle yourself because there are limits to that. “I regret not being with you, deciding that for you if that's what you mean, but I don't regret making this choice for your own good. And you would have gotten bored of me anyway. I have too much baggage, too. You shouldn't have to deal with this shit."

You shake your head, absolutely crushed by his words. How can he think he’s so hard to love? How can he… “If lying to yourself helps with sleeping at night, go for it, but that’s not the truth.”

Bucky sits down on the couch. “You cannot deny I am right.” He sighs. “Let me call you an Uber at least.”

“You want me to lie and I can’t do that, Bucky. You were the love of my life. I would never get bored of you.” You don’t know why you are saying all this. You thought and think about him constantly. He wasn’t just your boyfriend, he became your best friend.

You can see the surprise and happiness all over his face right away. He's glowing.

“You were mine, too, I hope you know that.”

“I didn’t. Not until now.” You bite your lip, trying to hold back your tears. It’s just so hard.

“I wish things could be different, but I promise I'll keep protecting you.”

That makes something inside you snap. “It could’ve been different! But you chose this!” Your anger is suddenly pouring out. “I don’t want your protection. You are either in my life or out of it. There’s no in-between. Do you understand me?”

“No.”

“God, I hate you so much! I hate how stubborn and stupid you are! I hate that you never listen to me! I fucking hate how you make me feel!”

Bucky stands up. “Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I don't want to talk and hold you and make love to you? Do you think it's easy, huh? No! But someone has to make these decisions! I won’t let you die because you're stubborn.” He's so red and angry. “I am not worth it.”

 “For fuck’s sake! I’ve had enough of this, okay? One second you tell me you have to stay away and another that you wanna make love to me. You treat me like shit and then kiss me! Why do you do that, huh? Why?” You don’t wait for a response, letting out everything you have been holding in. “I don’t fucking care if it’s easy or not. You know why? It wasn’t my decision. YOU DIDN’T LET ME CHOOSE YOU. So if you are suffering that’s on you, pal. My suffering is on you, too. Now get out of my way. I wanna go home.” You try to breathe and control your anger again, but it feels impossible.

“What do you want me to do? Risk your life?”

“I want you to get out of my way and stay away from me. I’m done with talking, arguing, and crying.”

“You won't see me.” He looks away as he promises you that, and you feel like crying more than ever. That's it? “But you have to promise me you won't see the others.”

“The others?”

“Natasha, Steve, Sam. We are all the problem.”

“Oh, hell no. Fuck no! No!” You point your finger at him, angrily. “You don’t get to decide shit anymore. Especially not about my life. You are done with making choices for me!”

“Did you not hear what I told you tonight? They should know better. I will have a discussion with them about it too. They are so stupid-"

“I don’t fucking care. Should I spell it out for you? Would that make it easier for you to understand? I DON’T FUCKING CARE! You don’t want to be in my life, fine. Your decision, but them… I’m not giving up on anyone.”

“Why are you so fucking stubborn? We are talking about death and life.”

“I made that choice the day we met, okay? When you fucking saved me. I’m way passed that point. They are my friends, too, and they will stay that way. This conversation is over.”

“I'll call you an Uber.” He murmurs, knowing continuing this would not a wise decision. He expected more from Steve at least. He knew how dangerous this is. At least Sam and Natasha seemed to understand.

You’re surprised when you see him suddenly giving you a funny look. “What?”

“I can't believe you really thought I could be with Natasha like that.”

Of course this would come and bite you in the ass!

 “I always thought you two would be a good match.” That was always on the back of your mind, thinking if they gave it a chance it would work amazingly. She is beautiful, powerful, lethal… and Bucky deserves the best. Seeing them together double hurt.

He gasps as if he can’t believe this. “What?”

“Why are you so surprised?”

“We were together and you thought I could ever replace you with her?” He sounds hurt and confused at the same time.

 “Yeah. I was sure that would happen one day.”

He stares at you completely blank for a while and you don't know what he's thinking. You were honest.

“And you say I gave up on us? You thought I am gonna-”

“It doesn’t matter, Bucky, okay?”

It does, actually, very much, but you’re so tired and hurt and simply without energy.

“Fuck it.”

You don't expect him to take you by the back of your neck and kiss you, surprising you for the second time on the same night. You don’t understand why this set him off or what he’s trying to do. All you can think of is how much you missed this.

He whimpers when he realizes you don't reject him and licks your bottom lip.

You wanna cry. You wanna hit him. You wanna push him away, but you also want to keep kissing him. You hate how conflicted you are feeling.

He closes his eyes, letting you go. “I don't know why I...”

You know how that sentence would end. You don’t need to hear it. He doesn’t know why he can’t stay away from you.

“So you are really that dumb.”

He stares at your lips. “Fuck, maybe I am.”

 “You definitely are, but I am dumber.”

You grab him by the collar and kiss him again. He doesn't hesitate to open his mouth and let your tongue find his, his hands grabbing your ass and bringing you so close that you feel his hard-on.

“Fuck.”

Everything feels overwhelmingly familiar and you missed this so much. You missed his lips, his taste, his touch, his smell… You grab his face with both of your hands and kiss him however you want, however you need.

“No one can replace you, alright?”

“Then what is the point of all this?” His face is still between your hands. “You want us to live in agony for the rest of our lives?”

“I just want to keep you safe, baby.” He kisses your palms. “I really don't want to risk your life. I couldn't survive!” He's haunted by that image of you dying, him killing you… He wouldn't be able to move on with his life.

“But I don’t wanna live like this.”

“How do you want to live?” He finally asks.

“I wanna be with you, Bucky, but you don’t let me. You don’t let me have you. You don’t let me move on. How am I supposed to live like this?”

 “You want someone else?”

 Seriously?

“I said all of those things and that’s what you heard?”

“I heard you, but it's all a mess. I am a mess. I would understand.” His tone is ice cold. He's so frustrating.

You grab his face with one of your hands again and force him to look you in the eye. “Would you really understand?” You question because you are damn sure he wouldn’t. “You would rather have me forgetting all about you and moving on than being with me?”

He seems to think intensely for a couple of seconds, contemplating, imagining different scenarios. You can feel his jaw clenching and you bite your lip.

“You know there is no turning back then, right?”

You don’t understand what he means. “Turning back from what?”

He kisses you as if that is the only answer he can give you. And kisses you. And kisses you until you feel the salty taste of his tears.

Your heart breaks seeing him like this. So vulnerable and tormented. You break the kiss, look at his face, and you feel yourself tearing up.

 “You're so fucking stubborn, baby.”

 “So are you.”

Bucky smiles, kissing away a few tears on your cheeks. “Can I have you?”

“You gotta work for that.”

That doesn’t seem to deter him. “Yeah? Good, I love working.”

“Yeah? Because it’s not gonna be easy.”

Bucky smiles sadly. “When do I like it easy?”

“I mean it, Bucky. You have to earn my trust back.”

He takes a step back. “And I mean it, I'm here to prove that. I know what a hard and long process it is, and I would never leave you alone again unless you are tired of me. I will protect you with my life, I promise.”

You can’t believe the switch he made. Finally!

“Good. Now come and kiss me because I missed you.” You finally admit it out loud. He’s being vulnerable, so can you, but he hesitates a little.

There’s something in his eyes, maybe it’s the willingness to do anything to earn your trust back, including holding back and waiting, but you don’t want to wait.

“I said gaining my trust will take time. I didn’t say I wanna wait, Bucky.”

“What's the difference?” He’s reluctant, not wanting to make another mistake.

“The difference is I am horny.” It’s been too long. You can’t hold back anymore.

A playful smirk takes all over his face as he comes closer to you. “Are you now? And what can I do about it?”

“I don’t know. What can you do?” You dare him like you don’t know all the things he can do.

“Depends.” His hands grab your neck softly.

“On what?” It’s astonishing how easy it is to fall back into habits.

“On the limits you want to set.”

“You know my limits.”

He looks at you surprised. “But do you trust me with this?”

“My trust issues aren’t over this, and you know it.” He always knew when and where to stop. Never made you feel unsafe. Your only problems are the way he left you and how his actions hurt you.

“Intimacy means a lot of trust,” he says but brings his hands down to your shirt anyway.

 “I know. If you didn’t turn into someone else during the time we were apart, I trust you with this.”

“I don't have protection.”

You give him a look. “If you don’t wanna do it that’s fine.”

He snorts, literally ripping your shirt in half, buttons flying everywhere. “Yeah, I totally don't.”

His actions don’t surprise you. You are used to him ripping your clothes. You just look at your teared-away shirt, amused.

“Sounded like many excuses to me.”

“Do you not see my fucking erection?”

You look down, smiling. “Oh, I do see it.” It’s not something you can ignore.

“You lied to me,” he says in a low voice, taking off your bra in a couple of seconds using his flesh hand.

“About what?”

“About Steve. You wanted to drive me crazy.”

“I didn’t say anything about Steve.”

Bucky raises his eyes from your boobs to your face. “You let me think you are dating him.”

“You assumed I was dating him because we were out together and he was trying my favorite cocktail.” You start to unbuckle his belt, incapable to wait any longer. You missed him and his cock so much you are aching. “Take off your shirt.”

Bucky groans in annoyance. “Don't remind me. You made it for him.” He sounds like a jealous kid. “Take it off yourself.”

 “Yeah, I was gonna make it for Nat, too.” You finally unbutton his pants and push them down without paying much attention.

Bucky laughs, tilting his head.

“What is so funny?”

He takes off his shirt. “Your voice is getting higher when you're angry.”

“And?” You raise an eyebrow, challenging him to continue.

“Did Nat piss you off or something?” He unbuttons your pants, too, as he asks.

“You piss me off.”

Bucky smiles. “You tend to say that a lot. Nat doesn't think that.”

“What does she think?”

He pulls down your panties and you're surprised a little. You expected him to rip them.

“I guess I don't piss her off.”

You grab his face and make him look at you. “I bet you are on your best behavior around her.”

Bucky bites his lip. “Maybe I am.”

“Now who is lying?” You grip a little harder.

“I don't know, doll. Who is lying?” He moans.

“You enjoy it, don’t you? Seeing me like this? Getting me all worked up?”

You feel his hands on your hips all of a sudden. “You're getting flushed when you're worked up. So beautiful.” He leans in, trying to kiss you, but you don’t let him. You push him back. “Couch or bed?”

“Couch, it's closer unless you want the bed.”

“If you fucked anyone on that couch, I’m not even going close to it.” You look at him in the eye while saying that. It makes your skin crawl.

He grabs your face. “If you think I did this, maybe we shouldn't do anything.”

“What? We weren’t together.”

“I see.” His voice is so low that you barely catch it. What you said goes both ways.

“Don’t go all grumpy and jealous again. I didn’t fuck anyone.”

He puffs relieved. “I'm not grumpy.” He kisses you desperately, though, lifting you at the same time until you wrap your legs around him, and carries you to the couch.

He sits down and his hands drop to his sides, letting you find a good position on his lap.

You push him on his back while trying to make yourself comfortable. “Lay down.”

 “I can't reach your tits from there.”

“Just lay down. You are gonna like this.”

He leaves a kiss on both of your breasts before doing what you said, waiting eagerly. You move closer and closer under your pussy is right above his face. He doesn't say anything, and quickly pulls you completely down as if you'd have changed your mind any second if he hadn't done it. You lose your balance for a second but quickly grab the arm of the chair for support.

His tongue is everywhere for a while before stopping on your clit directly. He teases you, though, licking around it, and you can't stand it. You move your hips, trying to get his tongue right where you need it, and he chuckles, sending small vibrations to your clit.

“Just stop teasing me,” you say impatiently. There’s no time for games.

You don't understand what he murmurs, but you feel his tongue finally on your clit at the same time he gets a finger inside you. That gets a loud moan out of you.

“It wasn’t that hard, was it?” You complain while he pumps his finger in and out.

You feel Bucky's vibranium hand making its way to your chest, and you gasp at the cold touch right on your nipple.

 “You always find a way to do what you want to do.” But you aren’t complaining. It feels really good.

He adds a second finger inside you just when you finish your sentence.

“Oh, fuck you!” You say after moaning loudly. He’s definitely doing this on purpose.

He doesn't hesitate to move his fingers in a fast pace, opposite to the way he is using his tongue, which you know he does on purpose. Old habits...

“Just lick it properly if you don’t want me to torture you later.”

He pinches your nipple in response.

“Just stick your tongue out.” You move yourself a little bit away from his mouth.

He opens his eyes instantly and frowns. “What are you doing?”

 “Taking matters into my own hands.”

His eyes glow and he immediately opens his mouth, sticking his tongue out eagerly. Then you grab his hair and lower yourself onto his mouth, gently riding it.

Bucky moans, keeping his tongue as flat as he can. He can literally die like this and he'd be the happiest man on earth.

You slowly pick up your pace, listening to your body and the need to come grows when he moans just because you tug on his hair a little harder.

His fingers start to move again, surprising you since you're the one riding his face.

It makes your knees shake; it becomes harder to move for a second.

“Oh fuck.” You curse loudly. “I’m gonna- come.”

He whimpers in approval and adds a third finger out of nowhere. You can’t say anything. The only thing you can do is moan while riding his tongue. Bucky keeps the same pace, squeezing your breast at some point until you finish all dizzy.

You take deep breaths, still holding onto the arm of the couch. Then he grabs your hips, lifts you up and you find yourself on your back. You yelp because of his sudden move. He kisses you before you can say anything and spreads your legs at the same time. You feel the wet tip of his cock right at your entrance and you moan, giving him access to deepen the kiss while raising your hips slightly so you can feel more of him.

“That was so good. I missed you so much.”

You stare at his wet chin and cheeks and smile. Your face is now wet, too, but you don't care as you kiss him again. You kiss him until you feel breathless. Then you look at him, still high from your orgasm.

“I think I should’ve been the one to say that.”

“I missed you so much.” He repeats as he pushes inside you,

“Oh fuck.” It feels so good, even better than you remembered. “I missed you, too!” You sound breathless.

“I fucked my fist a thousand times thinking about you.” Hearing that turns you on even more.

“Yeah?” So you weren’t alone because you thought about him. Only him. “I imagined my dildo was your cock like a thousand times, too.”

Bucky's thrusts are finally getting faster. “Yeah? Was it good?”

“Some great some underwhelming orgasms. Yours?” You wanna know so badly.

“Nothing can compare to your pussy.”

“Not even another pussy?” You want to push him, so you don’t hold back your question.

He grabs your face. “I'm inside yours right now and you wanna talk about other women?”

“You know what I want to hear.” And it’s definitely not other women.

Bucky's eyes soften a little as he kisses your nose. “I haven't been with anyone else. And no pussy can compare to yours. No one can compare to you, stubborn little baby.”

You don’t feel any shame when a loud moan escapes your lips. That’s exactly what you wanted to hear.

“Harder?”

“Whatever you want.” It’s like your mind suddenly switched off.

Bucky brings his vibranium hand to your mouth. “Suck then.”

You don’t say anything, you just wrap your lips around his finger and start sucking.

“Good girl.” He starts thrusting a little harder, enjoying the way you look so out of your mind. “My good girl, taking my cock so well. Did you miss it so much?”

You wanna say something, but your mouth is occupied. So you moan instead.

“A fucking sight.” He groans, taking his thumb out of your mouth despite your protests. “Never letting you go.”

“Oh, you finally made up your mind,” you say in a mocking tone.

“Gonna choke you with my cock next and we'll… fuck! see if you'll mock me then, too.”

“You can choke me now, you know.”

Bucky brings his flesh hand to your neck instantly and you frown. As much as you enjoy him finally slowly returning to his own habits, he's still being careful.

“Really?” Your eyebrow raises automatically.

“What?”

“If you’re gonna hold back, maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

He sighs. “It's been a while, I don't want to hurt you.”

“Can you even hurt me?”

Bucky stops mid-thrust and raises his eyebrow. “What?”

“I think you might be getting old. Or maybe the serum is wearing off.”

You didn't expect him to bite it so quickly, but he does, grabbing your thighs and finally fucking you harder. “Gonna make you scream.”

“You are definitely getting old.,” you say half breathless.

“I won't make you bleed, baby. We can go harder than this after you get used to having sex with me constantly again.”

“I meant your memory.” He’s going really fast and it makes it harder to speak. “You forgot what I asked for.”

“Want me to choke you?” He moans, realizing what you mean. “Beg for it.”

“Just choke me, old man.”

He says something, but you don't understand what, and when you feel the cold metal on your neck, you don't even care. You close your eyes in pleasure.

“Like this? Is this what you want?”

“Yeah.” The words barely leave your lips. It feels amazing.

“No dildo can replace my cock, can it?”

“No.” You shake your head. “Nothing can.”

“No other man, either, right?” You feel his wet kiss on your neck. “No other super soldier. Not Steve.”

“Steve?” You can’t believe he’s actually asking this. Is he that jealous?

“No one else.”

You grab him by the hair and force him to look at you while you speak. “I don’t want anyone else. Do you hear me?”

Bucky smiles. “I don't hear you. Can you repeat it?”

“You bastard!” You smack his chest with a big smile.

“Bastard?” Bucky laughs, slowing his thrusts.

“Old bastard.” You laugh with him.

“Fuck, I'm gonna make your ass red.”

“Make me come first,” you say in a challenging tone.

He squeezes the sides of your neck a little harder than before and the pressure makes you dizzy in the best way. “You're so wet for me. So fucking wet and perfect for my cock.”

Your mouth opens but nothing comes out. No words, not even moan. Bucky smiles when he feels your whole body trembling and a few of his hair strands fall all over his face. His flesh hand goes to your clit, circling it a couple of times in the middle of your orgasm.

“Oh my fucking god…” You murmur. It’s like your whole body is electrocuted.

“Can you take my come, baby?” He asks squeezing your neck a little more. “Gonna give it to you. Gonna...”

“Yes, please.” It is like a whisper, but you know he can hear you. “Please.”

That's all it takes for him to come. And come. And come. A lot, you can feel it filling you and probably dripping out on the couch because there's so much come. You kiss his forehead and hair, anything you can, still feeling out of this world. It's like you could fly.

You missed this... Feeling like being one with him. Sharing this high. It feels you with all kinds of emotions.

“God, I missed this.”.

“Of course you did.” You giggle.

“Did you not?” He fishes once again before bringing his head to your boobs and licking all over them.

“Fuckkk.” Your laugh turns into moaning. You want to push your breasts more into his mouth. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”

He sucks your right nipple in return. “Ihm.”

“If you keep sucking it I might come again.”

Bucky sucks even more, bringing his vibranium to your other breast.

“Move your hand on my clit,” you say after moaning loudly.

He does it quickly, making sure to tickle you before finally touching your clit. You giggle first, then moan when you feel his mouth sucking on your nipple while his fingers work on your clit. You close your eyes and let yourself enjoy this double stimulation.

“So soft.” You can barely understand what he says while still sucking. You take a sharp breath when your legs start to tremble. He's enjoying every single whimper of yours as he keeps moving his mouth and hand at the same time.

You love hearing the sounds he makes while sucking on your nipple. You run your hands through his hair and enjoy your high to the fullest until it feels too much. You grab his hair and move his mouth away from you.

“That’s… that’s… enough.”

“Why?” He sounds like a little kid.

“I’m… sensitive.”

Bucky takes his mouth off immediately with a pop and kisses you as an apology. You tremble under his touch once again, sighing right after it.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” It’s obvious that you don’t mind. You sound content and satisfied.

He completely gets out of you too while licking his finger. “Gonna get you a towel and a glass of water. And a blanket.”

“Why a blanket?” You look at him confused while Bucky stands up hesitatingly

“For you...”

“Did you sell your bed or something? Are we sleeping here?” You joke.

“I was gonna make you some fries...”

“Fries?” You straighten up a little, surprised.

“Yep. I think I have some pickles, too.”

“Okay.” A warm smile spreads on your face. This is the Bucky you remember. He smiles, too, and goes to the bathroom probably, but you hear his chuckle anyway.

*

“Come on, one more.” You try to force the fry inside his mouth, but he's a stubborn man.

“They are for you, baby. Eat!”

“If they are for me, I decide what happens to them and I want you to eat one more.”

Bucky rolls his eyes but takes the fry anyway. “Happy?”

“Very.” You take another fry and start chewing. “You know we should talk, right?”

“Well aware, yes.”

“Are we gonna or…” You’re hesitant because it feels good to be like this with Bucky after a long time, but you also know you should be talking and sorting things out.

“I was waiting for you to start.”

“The problem is I don’t know what to say.” Or where to begin. You feel like you’ve already said everything. Or better yet, you screamed it to his face.

“What do you want to know?”

“Are we trying again or are you gonna say this was a mistake?” It’s at the back of your mind. The fear of him leaving again…

“This could never be a mistake, love. I was simply trying to protect you the best way I knew. I will protect you.” He sounds genuine, but it doesn’t change how you feel.

“If you leave me again, it doesn’t matter why, you won’t have another chance.” Your tone is more serious than before. You want him to understand this. You can’t keep playing this back-and-forth game over and over again. You don’t believe in second chances, but this is an exception. The only exception you are ever willing to make because you understand his intentions, how his mind works, how his trauma still hits him. Dealing with Hydra again is a scary thing. You can’t imagine how he felt when he found out.

He looks at you so proud. “I know. I am lucky I got another chance in the first place. I am not even worth it.”

“Stop with the self-degrading talk, will you? I can’t stand it.” You always hated the way he talked about himself. He’s worth everything.

“But it's the truth.”

“I can’t believe you went back where you started the moment you left me. The self-degrading talk, sleeping on the floor…” It bothers you so much, like it’s somehow your fault, but you know it isn’t.

Bucky closes his eyes. He's not proud of it, but there is nothing he could have done to control it. “I am a lost case, I know.”

“Bucky,” you say in a surprisingly firm tone, and he opens his eyes back. “You’re worth everything, but you gotta believe it yourself first. I can’t magically make you see how wonderful you are. I don’t have that kind of power.”

 “Sometimes I feel it, but sometimes... there are some really hard days, you know?” He sighs. “The past I had, my Winter Soldier past, too, the mess... it's hard to believe I deserve some kind of peace, but I'm trying.”

You know he is.

“You are a wonderful person, especially when you are not an asshole who thinks he knows the best for everyone.”

“I'm a super soldier, remember? I'm used to making these kinds of decisions.” He gives you a small guilty smile.

“You know what soldiers are meant to do right?” You quickly continue without waiting for an answer. “It’s definitely not making decisions.”

“No?”

“No. Good soldiers follow orders.”

He smiles. “I'm a bad one, don't you know? The worst soldier.”

“Until further notice you are not allowed to make decisions.”

“It's not that simple.”

“No, it’s pretty simple. Don’t tire that beautiful head of yours. It’s not meant to make decisions anyway.” You try to sound like a 40s husband on purpose.

Bucky's head snaps to you. “You sound like my grandfather.”

“So you are familiar how this works.” You finally give him a smile.

“I'm gonna take care of you. No one will hurt you.” He still doesn’t get it, so you decide to explain.

“You will do whatever I say until I trust you to make your own decisions.” Your voice is firm. You don’t like it, to be honest, because you know this is super hard, especially for someone like him... giving away the control knowing everything he's been through, but what choice do you have?

Bucky frowns. “What does that mean?”

“It means if you want me back, you will let me decide on things for a while. You took my choice away and made us both suffer. Letting me decide is how you earn my trust back.”

His stomach aches. “I don't feel... what does that mean? There are many things, I can't just...”

You can see the panic so clearly and you realize how this must have sounded. “Calm down, Bucky. I don’t mean everything. Just things about our relationship.”

“Your safety is off the table,” he says without hesitation, and you’re surprised he doesn’t protest about something else. “You can decide on everything else.”

“Nope. That’s what got us here.” You sound calm.

“You don't understand the level of the danger.” His voice is trembling. “Everything but your safety.”

“You fucking left me over this, Bucky!” You raise your voice a little because what if he finds another Hydra member and tries to leave you again? “How can I trust you and accept this? How can I know you won’t do it again and say it is for my safety?”

“Conditions. Name them all, I am up for it, but I cannot play around with this. I couldn’t sleep for weeks because of it. Please... I need to be in control just in this aspect. I need to protect you.”

You think for a second. “You talk to me first. That’s the condition.”

Bucky leans in and steals your fry, agreeing happily immediately. “Done.”

“And you need to respect my decisions. Even if you don’t like them. I don’t like yours all the time, but…”

“When did I not respect your decisions? I think you are very bright and rational, usually.”

“When you didn’t even ask me and took a decision for me.” You look into his eyes daringly.

“Would you have stayed away from me? And I said usually.”

“I wouldn’t and it would be my decision.” He can’t use this against you.

“Why?”

“I could hide, I could act like we aren’t together, I could act like I hate you, but I can’t stay away.”

“We could never act.” He kisses your forehead.

“Fine. We could only see each other in secret then.” That was another possibility.

He smiles like what you said reminds him of something. “When can we have a date?”

“Tomorrow?”

“I hope you won't change your mind.” He grabs your head and you squeeze it.

“I won’t ever change my mind about you.”

You kiss him before placing the plate on the coffee table and resting your head on his chest where it feels like home.

[the-ace-with-spades]

(It was supposed to be 4+1 extra for slow down but instead, it's a bit more chaotic 'Ice checking on Bradley during the night' standalone ficlet)

It starts like this — Carole passes away, Bradley already lives with them, so not much changes, but there's a period when CPS gets a bit too involved and he's taken away from them (from Mav only, technically, since Ice is a secret they're keeping hush-hush) and when he is given back to them, finally comes back to them, there's a month Bradley sleeps with them in their bedroom. Both because he's having nightmares every other night and this way they can make sure he wakes them up when they happen, and because Mav is paranoid and can't fall asleep if Bradley isn't in his range of sight. He understands the sentiment — it does feel like he's going to be taken away from them any time they aren't looking.

Bradley does eventually go back to his own room — he's almost a teenager, it's inevitable — and Mav does eventually start sleeping through the night.

But Ice is a light sleeper and an insomniac.

He wakes up one night, well past midnight and thinks he's heard something. He doesn't wake up Mav, just stands up as quietly as he can, and goes down the corridor, until he steps into their living room and under the dim light from the street lamp, curled up on their couch, Bradley is sitting with Tom's old Flight Manual on his lap.

He closes it, caught red-handed, as soon as he notices Tom.

"Buddy, you've got school," he says softly.

"I can't sleep."

"You still gotta try," he says because kids need sleep. "Come on, I'll tuck you in."

He doesn't even protest when Tom kisses his forehead, like he's been lately.

Ice goes back to their bedroom but he's still tossing and turning, something nagging him, pulling at the back of his head and at the heart inside his chest.

He gets up and Bradley isn't in the living room or the kitchen but he can hear the ruffling of the sheets through the door to his room.

When he peeks his head inside, Bradley turns towards him, the big doe eyes wide awake but crinkling as he tries to pop the covers more over himself, like he can hide away from him.

"Still can't sleep?"

Bradley shakes his head.

"Me neither," he confesses. Then, because Bradley looks—he just looks so sad and so tired and he doesn't want to leave him alone in the dark, just with his dino night lamp in the socket glowing green. "You mind if I lie down with you?"

*

He promises himself he'll stop once Bradley's nightmares disappear but he never does. Not when Bradley starts middle school, not when he graduates middle school, not when he's studying for his SAT, not when he's going to prom.

*

When Bradley leaves for college storms away, screaming he hates them and he never wants to see them again he can't kick the habit down either.

“He’ll come back, there’s still four weeks before he’s supposed to check into his dorms, he—” he tries to be logical about it, tries not to panic, tries to keep his head cool. He reasons, begs for it to be true. “He has nowhere else to go.”

“Yeah, he has nowhere else to go, Ice,” Mav says and he sounds terrified. “Nowhere.”

Bradley's always had Mav's stubbornness and Mav knows better than anyone that Bradley isn't going to relent no matter how hard it gets for him.

That night, he wakes up and Mav isn't in their bed.

When he gets up to check on him, he doesn't find him in the kitchen or in the living room, or even in their laundry room, trying to fill the sleepless night with forgotten chores.

Last place Tom checks is Bradley's bedroom, hope blooming in his chest as he reaches the doorknob.

Mav is asleep, his nose diving into Bradley's pillows, Bradley's pyjama top curled into a ball under his arm.

Tom steps into the room and crawls in next to him.

*

Bradley doesn't come back.

*

Ice never allows himself to venture into Bradley's room, not to do more than dust the place, and never actually sleeps in there without Mav. Not when Mav gets deployed, not when Mav is stationed in Nevada or Hawaii, not when it gets so lonely and the texts remain unanswered, calls are ignored, not when he spends sleepless nights on the couch downstairs, thinking about how he could turn back time and fix everything so they could still have their kid.

Not even when they moved into a bigger house, Bradley's room packed and unpacked at the new address, hoping he'd return there at some point — maybe after college, maybe after he gets his wings, maybe just, one day.

The only time he slips in there in the evening is the night he notices a blue Bronco in front of their house and sees it drive away as soon as he opens the door and then doesn't get a reply to his text.

He's at the end of his chemo plan and Mav's been trying to get Bradley to come down and talk to him, just in case, just for the support, and Bradley's seemingly ignoring it all.

But he was there. He could recognize the car anywhere.

He wakes up around midnight and his tired mind tells him Bradley might have come back and he walks down the hall and opens the door and—

And the room is untouched, a bit dusty, and there are no sheets, just the bare mattress and the sausage dog pillow Mav bought Bradley when he kept on insisting he wanted a dog when he was sixteen, and Tom lies down and hugs the pillow and tries to fall asleep, trembles through the cold air in the room, waking up from time to time.

*

The first time Bradley stays over after the mission, in his own room, untouched in almost fifteen years, Ice wakes up at two in the morning, feeling like the whole day — Bradley ringing the doorbell, Bradley helping Mav cook, Bradley eating dinner with them, Bradley grabbing clean bedsheets from Ice's hands, Bradley hugging them goodnight — was a figment of his imagination and he'll come downstairs to have breakfast and Bradley will still be on the other side of the States and not even answering their texts.

He shouldn't have — Bradley is an adult now, he needs privacy and Tom doesn't want to scare him away by not giving him what he needs once again — but he can't stop thinking the reality is going to betray him in the morning.

He walks down the hall, the automatic light turning on as he goes further, until he stands in front of Bradley's door.

He opens it just a smidge, so he can have a look, but the light is so bright in the corridor, and Bradley's sleepy face grimaces at him before he lifts his head up.

"You okay?" he asks Tom, as if he was the parent here.

Tom should leave, but he can't. He just stands there, looking at Bradley's sleepy face and squinted eyes and can't stop.

Bradley raises an eyebrow, falls down back on his pillow, and pats the space in front of him, covers ruffling.

Ice steps in and his hand reaches Bradley's face as soon as he's sat down, gets the curls off his forehead and then caresses his cheek, so much more coarse than he remembers, the unshaved skin tickling his fingers.

Bradley pushes his cheek closer into his palm and he's almost purring under Tom's affection.

"You can sleep here if you want to, Pops," he murmurs, eyes closed, hair out of place, curls falling on his forehead again. "'m sure Mav won't be too jealous."

Pops. He still can't believe he's getting called that again.

He crawls in, feeling his knees protest, and tucks Bradley — into his arms and under the covers.

*

Bradley moves in with them, a bit reluctantly, but he does — military housing is and always will be crappy, he's been moving from place to place so he has two suitcases and a keepsake box to his soul, and they're still trying to rebuild their family — and that's enough to give Tom a second life.

Tom still wakes up at night, still feels the panic that he'll go back to sleep and in the morning, Bradley won't be there, so instead of tossing and turning, he gets up and just goes to have a look anytime he needs.

Because he can do that now, again. He can walk down the hall and take a peek and maybe even have a chat with Bradley if he's awake and just look his fill until he calms down.

It's one of those nights — he wakes up and even Mav's soft breathes can't lull him back to sleep so he gently untangles himself from their bed and walks down the hall, opens the door to Bradley's bedroom.

Bradley is so used to it by now he doesn't even stir up at the light from the corridor. Instead, Tom hears a, "Huh?" in an unfamiliar voice and Jake 'Hangman' Seresin's head pops up from behind Bradley's shoulder.

He shuffles, blinking at Tom and the bright light, like he's confused about what he's seeing, and Tom notices his arm peeking out of the covers, wounding back around Bradley but this time on top of the duvet.

Tom backs out and closes the door behind himself.

"Jake Seresin is in Bradley's room," he says dumbly once he sits down back in bed.

Mav turns around to him, blinking at their night table light, and pulling the covers back over Tom's legs, scooping him to get back to the cuddling they had going on

Sleepily, he looks at Tom like he lost his mind and asks, "What time is it?"

"Mav," he repeats. "Jake Seresin is in Bradley's bed."

"They're thirty, dear." Mav doesn't even open his eyes. "You can't exactly be outraged about... you know."

"He sneaked in," he points out. "Into our son's room, under our roof."

"Pretty sure he just used the front door when you were asleep," he says, pulling on Tom's arm so he lies down. "Be glad you didn't walk into anything."

"Mav."

"Baby," Mav says, and his eyes are only half-open but he tries to hold his gaze as he leans back from where his chin rests on Tom's arm. "I know it feels like he's still seventeen but he's not. He's—He's all grown, okay?"

"He's still our kid."

"He is," Mav agrees softly, voice moussed with sleep. "Which means you can give Seresin your famous icy glare in the morning. Now, though, just go back to sleep. He'll still be there in the morning."

He'll be, Tom knows, but for how long? They've barely managed to talk him into moving in with them and even that was stretching the social norms a bit — most kids don't live their parents once they finish college, after all — but Tom didn't want him to go anywhere.

"Do you think they could move in here?"

Mav only gives him a confused, "Hmm?"

"When they get married, do you think they could live with us?"

There's enough space, the house is huge, and it's certainly better than any military housing they could get. Maybe they could stay at least for a bit, save up for a mortgage downpayment, or maybe just hold onto this place until they stop being regularly deployed.

Mav lifts his head, one eye open, giving him the look. "You already plannin' their wedding?"

"I don't mean Seresin specifically, just whoever Bradley marries," he explains. He's not sure he likes the idea of Seresin, the I'm-better-than-you-lone-wolf as Bradley's anything. "Do you think we could talk him into staying even when he gets married?"

"I dunno," Mav says, nuzzling into his shoulder again. "The housing market is shit so maybe? Probably would be easier for him, too, if he decides to have kids."

"Kids," Tom repeats numbly. "We could—We could watch them when we retired, right?"

Bradley's been seventeen in his mind for so long he didn't even let himself think about Bradley having kids of his own.

"Baby," Mav says. "He's not going to have kids overnight, not with Seresin anyway. Just go back to sleep, please."

[z0-ne]

How would the Zoldyck family feel about seeing Future Killua, y'know future Killua is all powerful and all but they also see with KIDS and his wife, but his wife is powerful like POWERFUL POWERFUL, and so are his kids but Killua and his wife don't agree on the kids being assassin's. And the kids don't want to be either. But despite all that, they're like a powerful family that can't be touched. How would the zoldycks react to this? Like headcanons of each Zoldycks reaction😳

YES A HUNTER X HUNTER REQUEST <3 I've been wanting one of these for so long <33

This is actually a really good question, I can't imagine any of them having a positive reaction to their most promising family member basically ending the family "tradition" it'd be a big loss and they won't be happy, accept alluka of.

WHAT IF: What if the Zoldycks had their most promising member go against their traditions with their own children?

SILVIA

● To say he was disappointed would be a huge understatement.

● Killua has seen his father upset before but to visibly see it on his face? It was scary, but he had you by his side to make it easier staying stern with his decision.

● He was very quiet, and it was somehow worse than him yelling. Just quietly staring you two down with his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes filled with a chilling rage. The room felt colder and you felt the fear of an upcoming fight just building, not to mention Killua tensing his muscles in preparation didn't help.

●Then his expression softened and he closed his eyes and sighed.

●"Fine, that's your decision but I can't say I'm not disappointed that you're willing to waste such potential."

● You were both relieved to not have to destroy your home and possibly loose limbs just for the sake of not putting your children through some trauma.

● He leaves without issues shockingly. He doesn't even ask to see the children again, if they approach he'll speak and tell them goodbye but he makes no issues.

● In the back of his head however he's thinking that assassin is just in their blood and eventually he'll get his way and those children will give into their urges.

● It will happen. One way or another, he'll make sure of it

KIKIYO

● To be fair, Killua didn't even want her to know you were pregnant or gave birth, she only found out because she forced illumi to tell her once he came back from Stalking you two.

● Since she knew it was hardly anything stopping her from visiting, and with you trying to keep the peace for the sake of the children Killua really couldn't just kill her at the front door.

● She dotted over her grandchildren and kept talking so fondly of how amazing they'd be as assasins how they'd be merciless and talented.

"They won't be assasins." You quickly spoke as you had a butler take the children into another room, Killua and you standing beside eachother and looking at her as her face went to shock.

●She was very verbal with her disappointment and anger.

"HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE FAMILY LIKE THIS?! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST MAKE THAT DECISION!?"

● You simply watched her, a bit amused at her tantrum and Killua was less than pleased to hear her loud banshee like screaming again.

"THESE CHILDREN MUST BE ASSASINS WHAT WOULD YOUR FATHER THINK?! YOU CAN'T JUST WASTE SUCH POTENTIAL-"

● It's hard stopping him really, especially with someone he resents as much as his mother with no fear of a fight.

"These are our children to do as we please until they get older and say otherwise and our decision is final no matter what you, or anyone else says." Killua makes it very clear with his stern tone and cold eyes as he forces his mother to stop her tantrum.

● Unfortunately her silence doesn't last long and she goes on a long loud rant about how he is betraying the family and being a disappointment.

● So to prevent Killua from lashing out you have security drag her out kicking and screaming. Literally.

ILLUMI

● Killua didn't even want him within one hundred feet of his children so this conversation was had far from your home.

● "You are wasting potential." He says in that blank tone, his large fish eyes staring into your soul as he shifts his gaze to you, making you uncomfortable enough to cringe. "Is it because of the woman? I'd assume such a distraction would effect you, had I known it'd be to such a severity I would have handled it long ago."

● His original plan was to use his pin on you, to shift your mentality to his liking so you'd convince Killua otherwise, and you didn't see it coming considering you hardly interacted with illumi since you and Killua were children.

● Killua however, having grown up with him saw it from a mile away and stood infront of you, immediately making his hostility known, not even hiding his bloodlust as he stares his older brother down.

●Disappointed with the obstacle Illumi sighs and puts the pin away, he's no idiot, a fight with Killua now that he's fully grown and unlocked his potential to its full is a death sentence waiting to happen, and now that you'll be made aware of what he was gonna do he won't risk fighting you either.

● "Fine, I won't. However I hope you know this is a foolish decision. Those children will be assasins, it's in their blood as much as it is in yours."

"Not if we have anything to say about it."

● Illumi stares at the two of you for an unnatural amount of time, it gets uncomfortable but then his gaze shifts to your home in the far distance.

● "Don't even think about it. You are to stay far away from my family, especially my children."

● Illumi looks back at Killua and then at you. "They are lovely assasins."

● Then he turns to leave.

● Out of everyone, Illumi is the worst member of the family to ever find out you two had children.

● Because he'll make sure they become assasins.

● One way or another.

MILLUKI.

(My love ♡♡)

● To be fair he doesn't care.

● When the news was spread that you guys had kids he just shrugged it off and kept either gaming or building bombs, whatever he does.

● Killua left the family quite a while ago and the animosity that was once held for him shifted into a lack of care for many of the things he did.

● However he did call him wondering what their mother was screeching about.

"Why is mother screeching about failure?"

"We won't let the children be forced to be assasins."

"Oh, whatever." He then hangs up.

● He's not going to waste his time convincing his competition over the years to make more competition with his kids. He's too old for that at this point.

● It doesn't benefit him or complicate things too much. If mother yells to loud he'll slap on headphones and let that be the end of it.

●Visiting? What for? So he can get banned like his mother did? No. He'll send a drone to see if anything changes with the children or if they inherited skills of any sort but that's rare.

● One time one of the children noticed and you watched from afar as they held a conversation with him for about fifteen seconds before the drone left.

● But really he doesn't care too much if at all.

KALLUTO

● As one of the only siblings that directly Apologized and made an effort to rebuild a strained relationship with Killua Kalluto is the only assasin who was willingly told of your pregnancy and the birth of the children.

● They are happy for you both for having the children albeit confused about the fact that they won't be assasins.

● They question it at first but when Killua stays firm and explains it's too much for them they back down and respect his and your decision.

● They weren't exactly surprised considering Killua hated being an assasin and your background on being used because of your family. It's not surprising assasin business isn't something you'd want your children apart of.

● They don't want children so they don't understand your love for them, but they are respectful and leave it at you both not wanting it.

♡♡ALLUKA♡♡♡

● Oh she was ecstatic when they were born. She lives with the two of you so of course she was first to know!

● She doesn't mind that they won't be assasins so when she finds now she shrugs it off. She'll love her nieces and nephews regardless.

● Her experience with assasins obviously isn't that great so she could be a bit relieved because they wouldn't be following that.

● So she's happy.

ZENO

● He likely passed away around this time so he's rolling in his grave.

[brucewaynehater101]

Warning: Hurt no comfort :)

"What."

Jason is in a foul, contemptuous mood. Crime Alley always has crime, but the rates have skyrocketed this week. It's not just the low-level thugs either. Plenty of mobs and higher profile criminals have been hustling around. The whole damn section is rampant with trafficking, murders, drugs, and theft at levels far above their usual rate.

Jason is so fucking tired.

He hasn't had much time to eat, let alone sleep. Every minute, he's responding to another call or scream. He wants a fucking break, but he doesn't trust anyone else to look after his people.

The sound of a boot scruffs behind him again. Jason sighs.

His gun scrapes out of its holster causing an echoes in their silence. He allows the weapon to point at the ground as he still refuses to turn around and face the other.

"What the fuck do you want, old man?"

"Jay."

This causes Red Hood to whip around and aim at the craped crusader. Batman, the hardass himself, would never use names in the field. He especially wouldn't call Jason by that term of endearment when all the man ever mutters these days is "Hood."

Jason's arm doesn't shake, but his grip tightens on the metal.

The shadowed figure takes a step forward. The safety on the gun clicks off.

"Jay."

A bullet wizzes past the cowl. The man doesn't even flinch.

"Who the fuck are you? Talk fast before the next bullet goes between your eyes."

The figure nods in understanding and maintains the distance between them. "I wanted to tell you in person. You deserve to be the first to know."

It's not visible with the crimson helmet, but Red Hood's eyes narrow at this statement. His brow furrows and his jaw clenches. "Spit it out. Stop with that cryptic bullshit."

Batman, or whatever it is impersonating him, shifts slightly. He's uncomfortable and displeased but listens to the demand.

"The Joker is dead."

Muscle memory allows for the gun to be holstered before both of his hands claw at his helmet. He throws the item before stalking closer to the shadow on his roof. Red Hood spits fury at the man.

"If you're fucking lying to me-"

"I'm not."

Jason knows Bruce. It's been years since he's had constant contact with the older man, but he knows the tells for when Batman is being dishonest. There isn't a hint of that within the weathered features. As far as he can tell, the man is being truthful.

Yet, Jason can't believe it. That monster has been haunting him for so long. For him to just die? No fanfare, no warning?

It seems impossible.

Bruce's features morph into a sympathetic grimace at Jason's inner turmoil. "You deserved to hear it first. I'm so sorry it took so long."

Jason's knees feel wobbly at those words.

Bruce, the asshole himself with a maytr and hero complex, is apologizing to Jason for Joker's continued existence. He's expressing regret and remorse that nothing had been done before.

This... This can't be real, is it?

Bruce sighs as he slips the cowl off his face. His electric blue eyes peer into the mask of Red Hood's.

"I am so sorry, Jay. You've been hurting for so long, and I never acknowledged how his continued life haunted you so. I should have done something, anything sooner so that you'd feel more at peace."

Bruce raises his hand out as if he is going to hold Jason's face before he thinks better of it. The limb drops down by his side as his shoulders hunch.

"I've hurt you so much. I'm sorry, chum."

Jason's breath hitches once and then twice as he tries to center himself again. He doesn't bother trying to stop the tears pouring down his face.

Red Hood can't focus on the platitudes that Batman is stating. He needs to focus on the situation at hand and breakdown later when he's alone.

"B-" He takes another moment before trying again. "How did he die?"

Bruce, for the first time that night, glances away. His gauntlets creak under the fists he makes.

"He's dead, Jay. It doesn't matter. I'll never let him hurt you again."

Suspicion starts to weasel itself into Jason's brain, but he tries to brush it off. Like Bruce said, it doesn't really matter how he croaked. He's dead. That's all that Jason has ever wanted. Who cares how that came to be?

Still, the way Bruce brushed off his answer is dangerous. Even with all the sweet words being thrown his way, it's been a long time since Jason's followed the older man's machinations.

Red Hood settles his hand upon his gun, but he doesn't draw it quite yet. The threat isn't subtle.

"B. How did Joker die?"

Batman peers at Red Hood for a long moment. Azure eyes dart along the tenseness in the younger's form before Bruce's chest heaves a sigh. There's defeat in his posture, but his smile is kind.

It's the warmest smile Jason's seen from his father since the fifteen year old was buried.

"I killed him."

Jason's eyes scrunch shut. More tears run down his face as he tilts his head to the sky. His face twists in anguish, and he bites clean through his lips. Watery, teal eyes peel open to stare despondently at the smog filled sky.

Three gun shots ring out. Jason continues to search for answers in the sky as his arm lowers back down to his side. He mutters to the heavens he doesn't believe in.

"I should've known. Batman would never bring me peace."

Red Hood lowers his gaze and confirms the rooftop is and has always been empty.

[skinnywalker]

Adolescent attachment (kid RZ Michael Myers x kid male reader) Part 1

TW: homophobic slurs from Mikey's dad, violence, blood, mistreated baby Michael 😔

There is one good thing in this world. Only one reason why Michael got up in the morning. One reason why he put up with this hellish family. One reason why he went to school.

Him.

Micheal's only friend.

He was taller than Michael, meaner and basically his personal guard dog.

"Where'd you get that ugly shit anyway?"

His dad starred at the large new sweater Michael had dawned.

He didn't respond earning a muttered "queer bastard." From his father.

It doesn't matter though. Micheal has tuned out every voice of the people around him. Every voice expect-

"Mikey!"

He turns on the edge of the sidewalk to meet the pair of echoing steps coming towards him.

There he is.

"You walk so damn fast man!"

He looks so pretty when he is flustered for running.

"You like the sweater I made you?"

"Yeah I do. it's really soft."

He smiles.

His smiles always bring a smile to Michael.

The day goes slowly even with it being a Wednesday. Micheal can barely focus on anything else other than the sweater he has been wearing all day.

It's the first birthday gift he got from anyone other than his mom.

The first gift he ever got from a friend.

"Awww what's wrong shitface? You don't like soap?"

Two boys threw soap bottles and their contents at Micheal screaming and laughing. He spit and gaso trying to get the sting mess from his eyes and hair.

He'll show them.

"Micheal needs a strong hand to help him through his urges. He can't keep taking it out on animals. Ms. Myers it's very unsafe."

Micheal could only barely hear them anymore. He knew exactly what he was going to do.

He stood there above the bloody corpse of his former bully.

"Mikey? What are you doing over there?"

Silence.

"Mikey! What's going on-"

He froze starring.

Micheal watches his face carefully for any sign of fear, angry, unhappiness, anything.

"Good riddance."

He takes Micheal's hand and pulls him from the scene towards their sidewalk.

Michael knew he could trust him.

He was Michael's favorite person.

"You sure you can't go trick or treating with me?"

"I don't want to go either but my parents are insisting."

He sighs hugging Micheal tightly

"I'm really sorry mikey."

The walls of the hospital echo with screaming.

"NO! I WANNA SEE HIM! LET ME SEE HIM!"

"Micheal you can never see him again ok! You are dangerous!"

Dr. Loomis held him scratching and biting deep into his arms.

No.

It's not fair.

"You can't see him Micheal."

He doesn't listen.

Micheal will see him again.

Even if it kills the whole damn town.

[bebe-writes-stuff]

Hidden Hearts Reunited

A Mikey x reader oneshot (part 1)

-- You were Manjiro's first and closest friend, before Baji, Sanzu, or Draken. You were there. Your mothers were friends, meaning you were destined to be friends either way. You spent every second together since birth, a result of both mothers planning the deliveries on the same day. They realized a distinct difference between you and Manjiro, like night and day; you and Manjiro are polar opposites. Unlike Manjiro, who was always crying and screaming, you were quiet with a cute smile on your little round face. Manjiro would constantly cling onto you, as toddlers, crying louder if you were ever separated. Both mothers gushed at his actions. He would share his toys only with you and sleep peacefully next to you. It was an unbreakable bond between the both of you, from birth --

You walked hand in hand as you made your way to the hospital to visit Manjiro's mothers, who had fallen ill.

"You know, we don't have to keep holding hands, we aren't toddlers anymore." You spoke with a hushed and gentle voice, barely audible only for Manjiro to hear, as you both crossed the street.

"No friggin' way, how else is everyone supposed to know you're mine." He scoffed as if you said something so ridiculous.

"...Manjiro, I'm not a thing to be claimed." You delivered with a straight face.

"I didn't say that, I mean you're my girl. No one else is supposed to hold your hand except for me." The little boy pouted, explaining in a confident, matter-of-fact tone.

"Well, if that means that you're mine also, I don't mind." Your soft voice brought him comfort, as you tightened your little hands grip on his. Manjiro's cheeks flushed with a warm, rosy hue as your words, expressed in a soft and reassuring voice, reached his ears.

"We're here! C'mon, I can't wait to see her!" Manjiro pulled you behind him as he made a beeline to his mothers hospital room.

"Manjiro, we're in a hospital, keep it down!" You whisper shouted at him.

You sat next to Manjiro as he rambled to his mother about how he beat up a couple of new guys, he always counted the days from week to week to tell her about his stories. On the other you examine his mother, somehow, she seemed different, a lot weaker and sickly. Her hands were cold as she brushed them against your cheek,

"How about you, my little angel?" She asked,

"I'm good, but... I miss you. When are you coming back home?" Your tone is gentle, pleasing to the ears, as you leaned further into her touch despite the coldness of her hand.

Without uttering a word in response, she bent down, gently pressing a kiss on your forehead. Then, with a tender gesture, she drew both you and Manjiro into her embrace, casting a meaningful gaze at both of you.

"Promise me something, you two, please never leave each other's side. Manjiro, you're strong, so protect Y/n. And Y/n you're kind and tender, please soften his heart."

"Huh? Mom, what's that supposed to mean?" He whined and pouted, as you giggled at his facial expression.

That was beginning of it all—the pact that bound both you and Manjiro, the curse intertwining your lives.

As memories lingered from that day at the hospital with Manjiro's mother, the promise made to her weighed heavily on your heart as you made your way to the Sano home without anyone's knowledge, especially Mikey, you went to Manjiro's older brother, Shinichiro and grandpa, to break the news, the upcoming move due to family issues. Despite your attempt to stay quiet and secretive, Manjiro overheard, and the news shattered him. What was he supposed to do now with his mothers promise? And you, you couldn't leave. You were with him from day one, literally. The thought made his throat tighten, but what could he do?

Years passed, and life took unexpected turns, finding yourself back in Japan due to the loss of your parents and your sole remaining relative, your aunt, residing in Japan. Involuntarily, the memories of your past resurfaced, a certain ache in your heart also resurfaced. You couldn't shake the question of whether you could find him ever again in the bustling streets of Shibuya. The thought of your first and only friend lingered in your mind, who you never forgot, wondering if fate would bring you together once more, this time, forever.

"What the hell am I thinking, he probably hates me now."

"Y/n!" You heard your aunt call out, as she approached you with open arms. 

Your turned to your caller only for the air to be knocked from your lung with he unexpectedly strong hug, as she continued,

"Oh look at you, all grown up and beautiful!" She exclaimed dreamily.

You smiled, accepting her inviting hug, missing the feeling of being embraced by someone loving, especially after your recent loss.

"C'mon, I made plenty of food at home!" She urged as she grabbed your bags, one in each hand.

"W-wait, let me help, those are kinda heavy-" You reached out to grab one of your bags, but she lightly smacked your hand away.

"What do I look like to you, an old hag?" She picked up both bags with ease.

Woah...she's strong..

You soon realized why she's so strong when you reached her house,

"You live here!" You said, a little shocked by the fancy look home.

"Yep, my earnings from years of hard work." She said walking through the front gate and further inside.

You looked around like a child in a candy store, admiring everything around you. The garden, the nicely mowed grass and bushes. Once you stepped inside, your jaw gapped a little. After a tour of the house, she took you to a room, where the only thing in it was a hatch,

"You're not gonna kill me, are you?"

"Are you crazy, why would I kill my only niece? You're like the child that I never had." She said flicking your forehead, she smirked before she continued,

"It's a surprise, just climb down." She said as she opened it,

Climbing down, you were surprised to be met with a built-in Gym underground.

Oh, makes sense why she's so toned now

"Prepare yourself because I'm not raising no scrawny girl, I'm gonna make you tough, kiddo."

"hUh?" You're voice cracked,

After showing you your room and helping you put your stuff away, you finally sat down and had dinner with your aunt. She was going on about her life and you were invested, truly.

"So tell me, kiddo, how's life been for you?"

"Hmm, I manage." You answered, shrugging a little.

She gave you an unpleasant look before booing, "Boo, tomato, c'mon I know you got more than that."

"Well, what do you want to know about me, auntie?" You asked, laughing a little between your words.

She smiled as she thought,

There it is, she smiled...are you happy sister? I made her smile for you

"What are you looking forward to, here in Tokyo, I could take you anywhere you want."

It took you a second to think before you said, "I wanna go to a specific restaurant actually."

Your aunt looked visibly hurt, "D-do you not like my cooking?"’

The tears in the corners of her eyes made you choke before you frantically shook your head, 

"N-no not at all, I promise! It's just...it was my favorite restaurant when I was kid, I always went with...my friend."

"Okay! First thing tomorrow, I'll take you there then." She said, giving you a warm smile,

Well, she changed pretty quick..

"...seriously, this is your go-to place?" She regarded you with an intrigued expression, raising doubts about your choice in restaurants.

“And here I thought you were gonna take us to some gourmet restaurant.” she added as you entered.

A sudden wave of bittersweet nostalgia washed over you, fueled by cherished memories associated with the restaurant. 

"Oh, there are people here?" Your aunt expressed surprise.

That shouldn’t be a surprise…

Feeling a bit disheartened by her continual disapproval of the place, you sighed as you made your way to an empty booth. As your eyes scanned the area, they landed on a somewhat shorter boy, with you appearing a little taller than him. His long blonde hair was tied at the top, while the strands on the sides flowed freely. Accompanying him was a more intimidating figure, a boy with a tattoo on the side of his shaved head. They exude an air of trouble, and you realized you had been staring for too long when your eyes met with his pitch-black, piercing gaze. The eye contact lingered long enough for your aunt to shake your shoulder, snapping you out of it, and for his friend to call his name, breaking the sudden connection.

“Mikey..”

As you proceeded to your assigned booth, you couldn't resist one last glance backward, catching his intense gaze. A flicker of recognition sparked deep within your heart. Despite sensing a profound connection, you carried on your chosen path, unaware of the unspoken longing, as the passage of years had erased the memories that once tethered you together. While enjoying your kids' meal, you intermittently picked at your food, occasionally looking up to meet that same compelling gaze. It felt as if your existence was being drawn in, your heart pounding almost painfully in your chest.

Why..Why the hell is he just so…

“Damnit Mikey, what the hell is wrong with you?” His friend asked, annoyed by his sudden absence. 

He turned towards that, which seemed to distract mikey, and there you were. Feeling a bit intimidated, you quickly averted your gaze, avoiding his friend's scrutiny.

"Are you planning to order something?" you inquired, using the question as a means to divert your attention.

"No way," she exclaimed, eyeing your food suspiciously. "Let's leave. I'll take you to a proper restaurant," she asserted with confidence.

"Sure, let's go," you responded promptly, rising from your seat.

Your aunt expressed surprise, "Wait, really? I didn't expect you to agree so quickly. Alright then!"

As you both left, she remarked, "Y/n, don't forget to remind me to take you to a clothing store later."

"Y/n... Y/n... Y/N!" He murmured softly. Before he could comprehend, his legs carried him forward, propelled by an instinctive force.

NO WAY, NO FUCKING WAY 

"Y/N!" He called out, breathless from his sprint to catch up.

Halted by the unexpected call, you abruptly turned around. On the opposite side of the street, he came into view.

It can’t be…

Time stood still as if the universe held its breath. After years apart, your name lingered in his memory, indelible and unforgettable. In that suspended moment, all else faded away.

“Manjiro...?” you whispered. He didn't need to hear your voice; just from reading your lips, he knew you called out to him..

-- Yeah, Ima definitely writing a part 2, This was wayyy too long, hope you guys enjoyed --

[lightlycareless]

A bit of an explanation as to why Naomi turned to be quite... Not distant but not as welcoming as she was in the beginning with Naoya, her father.. :))))))

related work: prequel 1. prequel 2. sequel.

Warnings: Angst. Mentions of pregnancy and childbirth. Maybe Naoya failed as a husband and father?

Naomi didn't really know what it meant to be an older sister. It's one of those things that can't be described, simply experienced to get the full grasp of it. And yet, she was as excited as anyone else for the arrival of the babies.

Or more like anxious, for she's never seen you so stressed before.

“Why can't I go with mama?” She'd ask, your sister guiding her to the waiting room by the hand, unwittingly away from you. “Is she ok??”

“Yes, she is. She just needs help from the doctor to deliver your siblings!” Hinata explains, attempting to comfort her. “Aren't you excited? Soon, you'll be a nee-san, just like me.”

But Naomi couldn't care to think of such matters, not when an even bigger issue has yet to be dealt with.

“.... Why isn't papa with mama?” your daughter asks with clear sadness in her face. It's only the second time she sees a disruption to her routine, but she already doesn't like it, not one bit. “He's always here whenever mama feels bad….”

Hinata swallows, trying her best to not feed Naomi's sorrow, quickly turning disappointment, any further.

It's true what she said. Naoya always made sure to be available whenever you needed him, one way or the other. But this time… this time he couldn't, and for one simple decision he'd come to regret later.

“He's on his way here.” Is what your sister responds. “He shouldn't take much longer to arrive.”

For Naomi's sake, she hopes he does. Because Hinata doesn't think she could take any more of seeing the always cheerful and bubbly girl growing quiet at her father's absence, or frightened when hearing your screams once you finally went into labor.

Preparing Naomi for the whole ordeal of pregnancy was difficult, for there were things you feared she wouldn't be able to understand without being traumatized by them. This particular part was the one that worried you the most.

But even as upsetting as it was, hearing you in pain wouldn't be the thing that stuck to Naomi the rest of her life.

No. It would be the part of Naoya eventually arriving at the hospital, a few hours after the twins were born, higkihjti his failure to be with you, his daughter, and newborn children when they needed him most.

“I'm sorry, my love. I'm really, really sorry. You don't know how much I regret—”

“You were supposed to be here for their birth” Naomi manages to overhear, as well as the heartbreak in your voice, the same one she was experiencing for seeing her parents argue for the first time in her life. “You promised you would!”

“I know.” Naoya laments, voice shaky, seemingly at the brink of crying. “I would've never missed this moment, but the mission—”

“You also said you wouldn't take any missions.” You reiterate, hurt. “Why did you do it? Why did you have to go on a mission when I needed you the most?! You knew how scared I was, especially after what happened with Naomi!”

“It wasn't supposed to take this long. They told me it was going to be a quick thing, but it went on and they needed me…”

“I needed you more. We needed you more.”

“I'm sorry.”

Naomi doesn't hear anything else from that point forward, either because Naoya kept quiet, understanding the gravity of his actions while offering quiet endless apologies, the only thing he could do at that moment.

Or because Hinata became aware of what was going on and quickly isolated your daughter from the situation, she had already gone through enough up to that point, the last thing she needed was to end the day on a worse note.

Thankfully, that wouldn't be the case, because after meeting her baby brother and sister, all conflict seemed to disappear from her mind at that moment, focused instead on loving them unconditionally, though mostly excited for her new playmates and all the things she couldn't wait to do with them.

But when looking at her father, well…

Something inside Naomi changed that day.

💀

[umbra-papilio]

Dynamics in the Slender Mansion

Sally and Lazari used to share a room before Lazari had her growth spurts and began having violent mood swings. In the mansion, incorporeal beings are granted physical forms, meaning Sally and other ghosts can eat and sleep normally, but are also unable to levitate or phase through solid matter, and that they're able to take physical damage. Being half demon, Lazari has physical capabilities that rival or even surpass the proxies, so the best thing they can do for her during these episodes is to just give her space and wait it out. There's normally some property damage afterwards that Lazari feels terrible about, and she always helps clean up and uses her allowance to replace any broken items. The girls are still friends, but they aren't as close as they were when Lazari was younger.

LJ is only there on occasion, mostly just to pop in, be a moderate to severe nuisance, then leave. But one of the strictest rules in the mansion is that he has to stay as far away from the kids as possible. Sally is absolutely terrified of him and will mentally shut down if he gets too close. The two are speculated to have prior history, but when questioned about it, LJ just bursts into maniacal laughter, and no one has asked Sally out of consideration for her feelings. Actually, LJ's occasional presence in the mansion is the only reason Puppeteer is on the fence about moving into the mansion. He might be a vengeful spirit, but even death can't suppress the overprotective big brother instinct. He may be fighting Splendorman for first place in the Hatred of Laughing Jack Olympics.

Nina's a bit of an oddball, which is saying a lot considering all the killers are, well, weird, to put it lightly. Despite that, nobody really has an issue with her since she's so upbeat and outgoing. She mainly hangs around the mansion chatting up the other residents. She's the nicest and friendliest person in the mansion, and she'd be the most likely to help any newbies adjust. She doesn't have any beef with anyone, but like most of the killers who live there, she's not fond of LJ. He just creeps her out.

Ben is the mansion's mischievous little brother. He's not malicious with his pranks like LJ, but he can be a major headache, mainly stealing something and hiding it in another person's room in order to start a fight. He's gentler with Sally and Lazari, but they aren't free from his antics either. He especially likes to pick on Nina (he has a crush lol), but never does anything to push her over the edge. That would be a challenge, anyhow. Nina has a surprisingly high tolerance for bullshit.

Ann is the mansion's medic. She takes care of all of the residents and makes sure to keep whiteboards on the fridge and in the living room with reminders of the killers' checkups. She spends most of her time within the infirmary and doesn't talk to people much outside of professional settings, but some have noted that she's a great listener and won't shoo you away if you go to her for advice. She may be reserved and unemotional, but she isn't unkind.

While Jason is pretty warm and friendly with the other residents, he's normally in his room or workshop, and is usually only seen in passing. His attention is almost always on the current object of his obsession, and will prioritize spending as much time with them as possible. It's not uncommon to hear frightened and/or pained screams coming from his room, but with everyone else living there being, you know, serial killers, they're all pretty used to it. Just don't ask him about it afterwards, Jason gets pretty pissed for a week or so after a "breakup."

[wandafiction]

How Much?! - Just Us Chapter 3

Warnings: Suggestive themes

Word Count: 1644

Series List | Chapter 2 | Chapter 4

================================

The elevator ride was calm compared to the car ride, Wanda was lent against me with one arm wrapped around mine and the other holding my bicep of the same arm. Her head was leaning against my arm just below my shoulder, now I could take in how tall I was compared to her, a relaxed smile on her face as we both looked at one another through the reflection in the mirrored walls of the elevator. 

I also don't feel like slamming her up against the wall and making her cum once again. I think she feels the same, as she seems more relaxed than when we were in the club and the car. Maybe I should offer her a drink and chat before anything else. No, I will offer her a drink, and we will do this at her pace. She has never been with a woman before...well now she has...but I want to make sure she is comfortable this whole night. So her pace.

"Penthouse suite?" Wanda's gaze moved from looking at me to the sign in the elevator letting us know we had arrived.

"Uh, yeah this is my floor. Well two floors." I shuffled on my feet a little, I always hated showing off my wealth too much. Nothing screams rich fucker like a 2 story penthouse at the top of an already expensive apartment building practically made for the richer people of New York. 

"Do you mind me asking what job you have to be able to have a two floor penthouse?" Wanda's voice wavered a bit trying to gauge what I would do. 

The elevator bell dinged, the doors opening straight into the entrance hall. And before you think 'oh surely anyone can access the penthouse then'. No. The building has an interface system where you have to have a key card, or if you're like me and sometimes forget your key card, a password as well to be able to access past a certain floor. However, even then the cards and passwords are linked to a particular floor number so you can't access anything but yours. The only way someone could possibly get into my pent house without any of that is with a guest password, and each one of those is different so you know who accessed your place and when.

Pretty neat if you ask me. My friend Tony Stark came up with the idea when building this place, making sure I specifically got the top floor and allowed me to design my penthouse myself. He is a good friend.

Anyway, back to Wanda's question.

"No, it's fine. I am a business woman, CEO of a tech company that works in the medical field and also a partner in my friend's tech business." 

"Wow, so earning the big bucks." I stifle a laugh.

"Yes, something like that. Drink?" I pull her to the kitchen area where I have a large wine fridge and then another fridge with beers and other alcoholic beverages in it.

"Red wine please." Wanda makes herself home on one of the stools at the kitchen's island. 

"Any preferences?" I turn with the best two bottles of wine I have holding them up to her. "Château Ausone 2003 or Château Lafite 2010?"

"I don't know. I've never had either before. Whatever you think is best for tonight." She looks like she wants to ask another question as I open the Ausone.

"You can ask me Wanda." I turn around with a wine glass in hand passing it off to her, as she looks slightly confused about how I knew.

"How much does a bottle of Ausone cost? Because you opened it like it wasn't that much. I mean it sounds posh and expensive. Sorry it doesn't matter." She takes a sip of her drink to stop her rambling. 

"It's okay Wanda I promise. You're allowed to ask these questions, you're just curious I get that." 

"Okay well how much does it cost?" She asks with a cheeky grin on her face. 

"That one is the St Emilion Grand Cru. So roughly $1200 a bottle." I hear Wanda choke slightly at my answer, but she quickly covers her mouth recovering from her momentary choke.

"Sorry, but that's more than my monthly rent. Wow. It definitely tastes like a $1200 bottle of liquid courage." She then takes another sip, now obviously savouring the drink.

"Well you can't blame me for that one. It was a gift, it's been sitting there a while. So why not treat you to it." I raise my glass to my mouth watching her reaction. 

"Oh so this is your saving for a rainy day wine?" She jokes.

"Exactly. I had no one to share it with till now, so I thought fuck it, otherwise it will never get drunk otherwise." She hums in response. "Any other questions for me princess?"

"Why the name princess? Also is it rude if I ask how much you earn a year? I mean I'm just curious, you know, expensive wine in a two story penthouse. You have to be bringing home the bacon right?" Wanda places her empty glass on the counter, and I move to top it up again as I think of an answer. 

"I don't really know. It was the first thing to pop into my head when trying to fluster you, which worked by the way." She blushes slightly as I continue. "I mean I don't call anyone princess, never have. It just seemed fitting. And as for how much I earn, are you sure you really want to know?" 

"Hmm, I mean I don't have a name for you. You're just y/n. Why? Is it a lot?" Wanda tilts her head in question. 

"Y/n is just fine. I don't need to go by anything else. Define a lot. What is a lot of money for you Wanda?" 

"Well I have a 2 bedroom apartment that costs me around $1000 a month. I'm not poor in that sense of the word, I always have spare money and savings and my salary is decent. But a lot would be...I don't know...let's set the benchmark at $500'000." I finished off my glass of wine, liking my lips cleaning them of wine not missing Wanda's eyes darting down to watch the movement.

"Then I earn waaaay more than alot. Like I asked before, are you really sure you want to know?" This time I tilt my head in question.

"Can I guess? And then you say higher or lower?" She shuffles on the stool excitedly at the prospect of the small guessing game.

"Of course go ahead."

"Uhmm a lot more than $500'000 so 1.2 mil?" I point my finger upwards to indicate it's higher. "2 million?" Again I point upwards. "5 million?" 

"Much higher." 

"12 million?" 

"Multiply that by five." It takes no longer than a second to do the Maths.

"60 million! A year? Holy shit!" 

"I make anywhere between 60 to 85 million. However, I put a lot of it back into the company and help start up small businesses and of course give to charity." 

"So what do you indulge in? Because every millionaire has something they spend lots of money on. So spend money on houses, cars or even islands? So what is y/ns favourite thing to spend money on?" 

"I am a car person myself, but I tend to buy rust buckets and fix them up myself. Of course I have luxury cars and that but they are more for formal events just for publicity and all that, my PR team seems to think it helps the company and so on and so forth. But in all honesty I like treating my friends most if all. What would you spend the money on if you had that sort of income?"

"I would love to say the same as you. You know, help others in need, give to smaller businesses and friends and family. However, if I jump from my salary to your salary I am spoiling myself first. Car, house, the whole nine yards." We both laugh at her honesty. "Now though I think I'm done with the small talk." Her voice is low, her pupils dilate as she speaks.

"Yeah and what have you got in mind princess?" I lean closer to her whispering in her ear, a shiver going down her spine.

"I think we should take this to the bedroom." Wanda sighs when I start nibbling at her ear.

"Oh yeah? And what do you want to do once we are there princess?" I move my hands to her thighs slowly moving them up and down.

"You tell me?"

"Well princess. I am going to make this the best night of your life. You're going to be screaming my name so loud you forget your own, your legs squeezing around my head as I bring you so much pleasure you won't be able to feel them in the morning. I'm going to find every little spot that sets you off and leave a beautiful purple bruise on them to remind you of how I made you feel." A small fuck leave her mouth, her legs closing slightly to gain some form of friction as I speak. "So princess, are you ready for me to take full control of you tonight?" 

"Fuck. Yes. Please. Just fuck me already." 

"I have your complete consent?" Just got to double check to make sure it is truly what she wants.

"Yes, now please fuck me y/n." 

"What's the safe word?"

"Red." 

"Good girl." A low groan leaves her lips as I pull her off the stool, her legs wrap around my waist as I start to carry her out of the kitchen. 

Tonight is going to be fun.

================================

[dearestxiao]

Dear Santa,

I would like some more fucked up/possessive/shockingly sweet Venti HC 🙏

Thank you

warnings: possessive venti, gaslighting and manipulation, abuse of power(?), threats(?), scars from battle, let me know if I'm missing anything!!

ooh my god this took me so long to get out we're almost a week into the new years 😭😭😭. but when I saw this ask I actually screamed thank u sm nonnie. being able to ramble nonsense abt ven is always so fun. these aren't a lot whatsoever but these are some main things I think about with venti. all are random but somewhat related?

he often does performances, whether that be at a tavern/bar or an open mic that are either 'dedicated' to you or a 'special somebody'. even if he doesn't directly say your name, he makes it so obvious that it's about you, his eyes glued onto you the entirety of his show. it's supposed to be a sweet gesture, and it would be, if it wasn't so clearly a way for him to claim you as his, which is only worsened by the fact that you're not. no one would ever believe otherwise though.

in the same vain, if you start romantically seeing someone, or even slightly have interest in anyone, he instantly becomes intensely clingy. you two have barely hung out recently, you two should hang out more! he's been dying to see this live show with you, and there's a new cafe that just opened up, and there's this beautiful meadow nearby that's perfect for a picnic, he pulls out all the works to try to convince you to spend more time with him than anybody else. and trust, if you do spend time with someone else, you'll never hear the end of it. he'll constantly sulk or make you feel insanely guilty, saying anything and everything to make you feel awful.

I think the main thing that would differentiate canon!venti and modern au!venti are their literal powers. given that modern!venti doesn't have a borderline fear-tactic to hold over your head, he instead resorts to manipulating you, especially in ways similar to the headcanon above.

venti is insanely emotionally intelligent. he knows every little thing about you, how your mind ticks and what really pulls at your heart strings. he can't help but use this to his favor. anytime an 'issue' arises between you too, he's quick to put on an award-winning act. of course, if it was what'd he call a genuine problem or a mistake on his behalf, he's quick to apologize and do everything in his power to make amends. but if you're upset about something akin to his clinginess and possessiveness... oh baby, you're getting guilt-tripped.

it doesn't really matter if you're a person who's hard to manipulate or not. venti can break a will. at some point you just wear down and give up.

canon!venti really doesn't like to hold his powers against you (he really loves the thought of you choosing to be with him, even if that choice is... coerced), but if push comes to shove, he does. he would never would never actually use them, but stories about how he acted and what he did back during those days of war are certainly enough to keep you docile. to be fair, he doesn't necessarily need to use them at all. you're far less likely to go against him if you know just what he's capable of. deep down he knows he'd never do anything, but he's so unpredictable that the fear that he could is enough.

I think venti would also definitely use the fact that he's the god of freedom against you, especially as a sort of mind trick. he states that he's the god of freedom, he would never take away your freewill, that goes against everything he stands for! so, the fact that you're with him is clearly your own choice, something of your own doing, and if you truly wanted to, you could've left him at any time you wanted to!

somewhat similarly, I think venti would have a 'thing' for getting you to say certain things. he'll do things like pin you down and say (with a big, toothy smile plastered on his face) that he won't let you out until you admit that you love him, admit that you're his and all his, admit that you would never, ever leave him. he tells you to do it in a lighthearted manner through giggles and grins, but you know that he's serious about never letting you out from underneath his grasp.

also, another few headcanons that doesn't really fit into anything else:

I think another difference between modern au!venti and canon!venti is that modern au!venti is a lot more of a creep. as the god of freedom, canon!venti would, of course, stick to atleast some of his morals and godly obligations. being a yandere doesn't entirely diminish his values, even if he does stretch the limitations of them often. but modern venti is not tied to those morals, so he has no reason to really obide by them. he therefore sees no issue with doing things like going through your room or your items, looking through any notes or journals or diaries you have, laying on your bed or pocketing an item of yours or two.

despite gods likely having insane regenerative powers, I can see venti choosing to keep any and all scars that would've developed throughout his life of serving out duties as a god. they're all so especially jarring because of just how gentle and harmless venti looks in comparison. it serves both as a reminder of his past and all he's been through (something that you would definitely atleast sympathize with) and all he's done, a testament as to how looks can be deceiving and that you should certainly never underestimate him.

[izzyspussy]

[MENTION OF SUICIDAL IDEATION, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE]

i also think it could be fun and funky fresh if ian was gone a little longer and mickey eventually couldn't fucking take it anymore and came out at the alibi on his own and like. okay he's fighting back against terry like on the fucking principle of the thing, and a little bit because he really does want to get at least a few good fucking hits in - god he's so fucking angry and he's so fucking angry about being so fucking angry and - but on the other hand. he's by himself, he's like a third of terry's size and only half as vicious, and most importantly he lowkey kind of wants to die at this point anyway.

so. mickey comes out half because he just fucking can't stay in anymore and half for fucking spite - the latter being the main reason he does it publicly. this way terry can't keep it quiet that he's got a queer son. cause you know, unfortunately for terry, a dead fag is still a fag. so fucking there.

terry charges him of course just like in canon, and like in canon (iirc) mickey gets in the first hit. maybe even the first couple. but it's not seconds before terry has mickey down and spitting blood onto the floor. and once mickey's down... well he doesn't stop fighting entirely. he doesn't give up and he doesn't fucking tap out, and he won't let anyone else claim they taught him that, that's all him, it's his fucking nature. but he maybe starts phoning it in a little bit.

and it's. i mean it's brutal. the bar is quiet, because no matter how accustomed to this sort of violence you (think you) are there will always be at least a moment of frozen horror, and it's only worse when there's such a clear imbalance, when you know the guy on the ground is just a kid, when you know the guy kicking him is his dad. so everyone can hear the dull, concussive whap of the back of terry's hand across mickey's face, can almost feel the way it snaps mickey's head to the side so hard he stumbles with the momentum. et cetera.

and it's... it's lip who breaks the dam. he's pissed about it, he doesn't want to be doing this, mickey is the last fucking person he wants to stick his fucking neck out for, but ian fucking loves him. loves him loves him, the real fucking deal, and that makes mickey a piece of him whether anybody fucking likes it or not. and lip will always stick his neck out for ian.

so he curses mickey's name black and blue, and he bitches about how he can't believe he's doing this, and he threatens that he'll never forgive either of them, and he grabs a chair and he swings it right into terry's face.

mickey looks up at him from the floor, bloodied mouth hanging open. bro is flabbergasted dot jpg.

"i draw the line at giving you a hand up," lip says, and that kicks the whole fucking bar into gear.

mandy jumps onto terry's back, screaming like a fucking banshee and wrapping her skinny arms around his neck as tight as she fucking can, probably bites him too by the way he yells. terry's few buddies/sycophants/goons leap up to take his side, only to realize they are wildly outnumbered when the milkovich brothers and uncles take mickey and mandy's. kev calls the police, even though it makes him throw up in his mouth a little. some unaligned bar patrons flee, and most of the upstairs girls do too. some patrons start fighting each other, since there's a fight and all. some settle in for the show, and some just plain don't fucking care.

and mickey gets himself up off the ground, insert non-diagetic punk remix of i'm still standing by elton john here, and wipes his mouth with his hand. he surges forward to twist terry's arm behind his back when he rips mandy off his back, before he can throw her to the ground. she slaps their father in the face with her fingers curled, leaving four bleeding scratches across his cheek. mickey hears lip cuss again, impressed, before the back of terry's head breaks his nose.

and even as blood splurts down his face mickey wonders, dazed and almost giddy with the possibility, if lip backing him up means ian still cares about him. at least a little.

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Poly! Kanej x gn! Reader - Always Darkness (PRIDE 2023)

A/n: Happy pride everyone! Enjoy the 3rd installment to the fics of pride 2023 with this poly fic!

Summary: After being captured during a job, you attempt to down play the effects it had on you.

Warnings: this was written a while ago, physiological torture, torture, haphephobia, temperature changes, claustrophobia, panic attacks, questionable sanity at certain points, mild violence, swearing, hallucinations, asylums, straight jacket, suicidal thoughts, ptsd, trauma, mild blood, this is a heavy one guys, I think that's it? You have been warned!

The 3 P's:

[Pronouns used: you/your] [Pov: 2nd person] [Pairings: romantic! kanej x reader, (mentioned, platonic!) crows x reader]

It was cold, it was dark, and it was wet.

Yet it was so warm it felt like your feet were frying off but at the same time, it felt like they were numb. The room was dark only that, never changed, it was always dark. The light could never reach in here, not even a sun summoner would be able to summon anything in that cell. It was damp, but maybe that was because of the blood pooling around you as everything else was dry.

Laying on your back you look up, your eyes widen and you barely blink five times a minute. The heat in the room is unbearable to you, so you try to sift your body, to relive some of it. Then all the heat leaves your cell, room, home? You weren't sure anymore, but it was suddenly cold, so cold.

The room starts to spin and all you used to be able to see was darkness, but now you see different worlds and universes! The rational part of your brain knows it's not real, but the part that slowly submits to the mental pain and stress of everything starts to convince you otherwise. The only thing that keeps you grounded is

Them.

Then everything is falling and you don't know if you're screaming because you can't hear anything, and you can't flail your arms to wave around because you're stuck in some sort of jacket. A straight jacket you think is what Kaz called it, he said it was for the crazies.

But you weren't crazy! Yet why else would you be in one then? Maybe you were insane...

Oh, right the mission. You weren't crazy, you weren't crazy, you weren't crazy! You were just locked up because you fucked up on a job. Maybe you deserved to be in here then.

Then you were back to getting up and to hitting the walls. Perhaps to feel something, to have control, but you couldn't kill yourself on them no matter how hard you tried.

So you screamed, cried, and yelled. Eventually, you started babbling on about other things that made no sense entirely.

Or at least you thought you made a noise. You couldn't tell, because what really is reality?

You sit up from your bed preparing to kill someone.

The knife that is usually underneath your pillow is in your hand at all times now after that one job. Always ready to strike.

"Fuck." You mutter as your head falls into your hands as tears well up in your eyes. Again.

You thought after two weeks out of that asylum you would be over all the nightmares, but you weren't over anything. You couldn't have anyone touch you unless they made it very clear what they were doing, you couldn't sleep in complete darkness. Hell, you didn't even like going in a dark space anymore. Oh, there's more. The constant flashbacks, and the extreme claustrophobia, not being able to have your hands wounded together. The feeling that complete silence gives you. Always, always, having to remind yourself that you're not going crazy, it was just the lack of sleep, or the partially non-existent sleep.

All of that could be summed up into one word PTSD! But if you wanted to be even simpler the word would be trauma.

Nobody really knew how bad it affected you either, Nina did because you had to tell someone but other than that you just didn't tell anyone. You didn't want Kaz or Inej to take you off jobs so you downplayed what happened and told them it wasn't a real asylum really.

Probably you would never tell your boyfriend or girlfriend, they had their own problems to deal with.

The tears don't fall down your face, but they are pretty damn close as you stand up to take a walk... Somewhere.

Walking out of the safety of your room you don't know where you're going, all you know is that you have one goal in mind: Away.

You find yourself outside of Kaz's office door. The last place you wanted to be, but maybe the place you needed to be. Your hand grip's the doorknob as you close your eyes and try and come up with some sort of excuse so you could be close to your lovers.

You could hear their voices talking and scheming together about the next heists and jobs. It brought a smile to your face, and instead of opening the door your hand slips off the door handle and you slide down to the floor. The wall next to the door was cold, and incredibly wet.

"Subject number one." Your head snaps up to where you heard the voice from. You've haven't heard a real voice in what seemed like years, centuries even. But instead of seeing a real live person all you can see through the darkness is a blurry speaker and the one way glass.

"Stand up please."

You don't stand up, rather you do the exact opposite as you start rolling around the room muttering random things. Perhaps you really had gone insane, or maybe you were just defiant.

"You see now that subject number one is clinically insane. Tested by the royal ravkan grishas themselves!"

Ha! No one had tested you! They had just put you in here as a form of punishment for getting caught stealing... What was it again? Silly you, you must have forgotten!

So then how much time would it be until you would forget them?

"So now we're going to do the cold test. It's where we'll turn the temperature down drastically to see what a clinically insane person would do!"

And then suddenly everything was cold - so cold.

"No, no, no, no no..." You mutter as your knees come up to your chest as it starts heaving.

Fuck, a panic attack.

"Please stop, don't touch me!" You blubber, tears filling your eyes as you start to rock back and forward.

"Please make it stop! Make it stop!" You cry.

You hear some foot steps and you assumed the door to Kaz's office opened, but you couldn't really comprehend everything properly because you were trying to keep yourself from spiraling further.

"Y/n!" You hear Inej's voice call out to you but the other voices are just too strong, filling up your mind with vicious attacks, and daggers killing off the very little of your will left. You didn't even notice the blurry figures crouching in front of you.

Forget. Everything will be easier.

Maybe you are really a freak.

You fucked up, you deserve to be here.

You almost killed your lovers, what kind of sick monster would do that?

You. Are. Insane.

Insane, insane, insane!

"Breath L/n." Kaz places an ungloved hand on your shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" You push him backwards suddenly standing up and you start sprinting towards the steps.

"Y/n! Wait!" Inej takes hold of your wrist and her skin on your reminds you of touch too much. Too much pain.

Crack!

A crisp and cold crack was heard throughout the Slat as you snapped Inej's wrist. She screams in pain and Kaz catches up to you both, worried, and beyond terrified at what is playing out in front of him.

"I said don't touch me!" You sob, and once again your knees give out underneath you as you collapse with sobs clogging your throat on the floor.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry..." You whisper brokenly, the last bits of your mind coming back to you.

Inej and Kaz look down on you as Inej cradles her wrist in her hand and it finally gets to her.

"That was a real asylum wasn't it?"

And at the those words you sob harder as you nod because no words would be coming out of your mouth.

"Oh, saints Y/n." Kaz's voice comes over and calms you a bit, better than it did before anyways.

"We should have never have left you there."

With tremendous effort, Kaz crouched down beside you but he didn't come any closer. His hands are gloved now, so when he reaches out to brush a finger across your cheek you don't feel anything. Only the worry and love coming from Dirtyhands himself, he barely even touched you though. But maybe that was the point.

"Is this okay?" He questions, his hand dropping.

All you do is nod, you aren't in the right state of mind to be forming coherent words, the lack of sleep certainly wasn't helping.

Inej, probably from her standpoint, could see this and made eye contact with Brekker to see what they were going to do.

"You'll get them to the bed in your office. Unless you want me too, and that's fine I'll just have to wearing some gloves and some more clothes." Inej says - well you think she says that because every things starting to get really woozy, and the begins world spinning.

"Inej, Kaz." You whisper the words finally forming in your mouth bringing their attention to you right before you slip into unconsciousness.

"Help!" You scream. "Help!"

"No one can help you here." The sharp, villain-like, voice comes through the speakers into your cell.

You ignore what the person said and you try and bang on the walls with your body, because you had a fucking straight jacket on.

"Help me! Please! Kaz! Inej! Help!"

The person just laughs through the speakers and it vibrates throughout the room making you stop in your tracks. Inej and Kaz had to be coming... Right?

"Even if they could come for you Y/n L/n, why would they? Who would come for someone who's insane?"

"I'm not crazy!" You holler at the one way glass, knowing there was a big chance that the person was looking at you through there.

"Maybe not yet, but-" The person pauses and their voice sends a chill up your spine.

Instantaneously, the walls on the room start moving towards you. No, no, no, no... They keep on moving and you can hear the person giggle wickedly as they keep on coming towards you. The walls are going to squish you, you were going to die here.

"No!" You shout, you couldn't die here!

Abruptly, the walls stop moving, but then the lights start to dim until it's pitch black. You feel something caging you in, it gets closer and it starts to squeeze on your body till it stops. Then, starts to move back. Wait... It must have been the walls from before.

"N-no." You manage choke out, as you start to weep.

"Please! Anyone, help!"

"You will be insane Y/n L/n. Just you wait."

Something brushes up against you and you realize that you're terrified that it could be the walls moving in on you and you would never know.

"INEJ! KAZ!" You shriek.

"Get me out! Please let me out! I'm not crazy I swear!"

"Kaz! Inej!"

"Y/n! Y/n!"

You sit up with a start, sweat dripping down your face as tears well in your eyes.

Glancing beside you, you realize it's Inej who woke you up. Her face looked mildly terrified and she looked like she was in pain.

"I didn't want to touch you, so all I could do was yell." She said brokenly shoving her face into her hands.

"I'm sorry, we left you there."

You sigh but you smile slightly at your girl.

"It's not your nor Kaz's fault, I also told basically everyone it wasn't real. Even if I was lying to you, the biggest person I was lying to was myself." You close your eyes trying to will the memories away.

As you open them you start to see Kaz starting to limp inside the room.

"We're-" He starts

"Don't finish that sentence Kaz, I know you both are." You cut him off with a small glare, today was not the day you wanted to see the bastard of the barrel apologize.

He sighs and he sits on the other end of the bed. Inej comes and sits by Kaz who she links her hands with. Then you sit up and you ghost your hand over theirs.

It wasn't okay, but it could be. One day, it wouldn't be always darkness.

Words 2050

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Grishaverse taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover @brekker-zenik @alohastitch0626 @brekkers-desigirl @emmsamultifan06