#and for my mom i think it's like a mixture of autistic infantilization (which i have called her out on before) and a reaction to trauma
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#dl#upset at my mom kinda day#still thinking about what happened yesterday#it's not even that she's unhappy with my relationship that bothers me so much (though it does play a part) because i know she knows that#she'll just have to put up with it and accept it#it's the fact that she refuses to treat me like an adult that can make my own decisions#i have to constantly fight her on this#my godmothers and other friends agree that she needs to dial it back but she doesn't and my stepdad only enables her#i know i complained about him recently but im honestly glad that my dad doesn't get that involved with my life and lets me breathe#and for my mom i think it's like a mixture of autistic infantilization (which i have called her out on before) and a reaction to trauma#the latter of which i get why she's doing it but it's not fair for her to take her issues and insecurities out on me#honestly i do feel fine living here but everytime this stupid shit comes up between us i wanna move far away because she makes me#feel claustrophobic with my entire life#i cant get another cat unless she says so even if my landlord approves. i can't use my money in ways she disapproves of.#i can't live at this place or do this thing or wear these clothes without her judgement#i was scared to get my tattoo last month not because of the tattooing process but because of what she would say#i have no fucking agency and she wonders why i never tell her shit#it's because i need to do everything behind her back to be happy and even then i feel guilty about it#idk how many times i have to argue with her on this before she fucking gets it
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