#and for fucks sake stop outright lying about detransition rates and hrt dangers and trans people taking a fucking piss

[radiodont]

several things. one: going through ex-terf tumblr is supremely healing and i wholeheartedly recommend it, good luck to all the people currently dragging themselves out of that particular hell

two. almost every ex-terf i could find was deradicalized by one of two things.

A) they left a harmful church/cult/family situation and once they were out of it, they started reexamining their views

B) they met a real-life trans person and, upon realizing that trans people are just regular people and not vicious predators and/or brainwashed waifs, their entire worldview crumbled.

like. that's it. meanwhile, if you ask them why they got into being a terf, it'll almost always be "i was in a really low point in my life and they seemed like the only people who understood me" or "i was 15 and my brain was still easily malleable" or "it felt good to hear that i wasn't imagining misogyny and it spiralled from there". like, the contrast is staggering, and it's no wonder terfs are so hateful and insular; their entire worldview is built around suffering and being victimized and not being able to trust anyone.

it's almost painfully transparent that they're trying to cope with various traumas, but through some lack of accessible help or desire to have a scapegoat, they lashed out. it's a desire for control in a world that's frequently uncontrollable and unfair; it suddenly isn't enough that institutionalized misogyny benefits most white men through a complex system of bias. that's big, and hard to fix, and frustrating, and not knowing who to trust is terrifying. it's much easier to write off all men as inherently unsafe and predatory because then there's no possibility of being hurt.

and into this worldview of fear and paranoia enters trans people. under this lens, if all men are evil and incapable of experiencing joy and fear and love as purely as women do, then there should be no reason for a trans woman to transition except to prey on weak and vulnerable women (which is a layer of internalized misogyny so complex that it would take litres of mane and tail to detangle).

and, under this lens, there's no reason for a trans man to transition except to escape the Inherent Suffering and Oppression that women face. they're so consumed by their worldview of suffering that it's impossible for them to imagine someone doing something to follow a good feeling, rather than escape a bad one. it's this view that also fuels their staunch opinion that trans women are "performing a persona and making a mockery of womanhood"-- seeing someone be unabashedly happy being a woman and engaging in stereotypically feminine things is inconceivable to them. women who enjoy heels and makeup and being sexy are just brainwashed by the patriarchy-- so why would a trans woman, who was raised without that societal pressure, want to do it, except to make a mockery of the Suffering And Tragedy of all womanhood everywhere?

it's all so tangled in trauma and misery and fear, and it's no surprise that almost every ex-terf describes an immediate relief and freedom upon deradicalizing. it's exhausting to operate like half the population is a threat-- i would know, because despite making up a small, small percent of the population, the assault and rape rates among trans people are higher than either cis men or cis women. and despite that, and despite all the laws making it illegal for me and people like me to live happily, and despite all the misinformation and hatred and vitriol, i am joyful. i am kind, and patient, and not once have i ever resorted to kicking someone more marginalized than me to make myself feel better. i feel sorry for terfs, but not sorry enough to forgive them.