#and for Sin it *was* for someone who grows so fast it *was* like years passed in his absence

[golden-stag]

Found my tags on an old post... Hits different after playing Overture. I am dying out here-

[spookierdeer]

OL EUA YUGQ G XGOYOT OT MXGVK PAOIK, OZ ZAXTY OTZU G MXGVK. NGVVE NGRRUCKKT! 🎃⚠️

(costume talk and yapping under the cut)

starting from back to the front:

stan and ford are handing out candy this year, stan dressed in his vampire costume and planning to scare kids and ford is wearing a mabel (turtleneck!) pumpkin sweater, about as festive as he's willing to dress up this year. ford was originally planning to hole himself up in his lab and work on data analysis or whatever nerd shit he has going on but stan invites him to help scare the hell out of kids. ford declines initially, better things to do, but after checking to see how stan's doing (badly), ford decides to help by bursting out of the bushes with a glowing laser gun, face cloaked in shadow. it's more fun than he expects or admits and he eventually fully joins stan.

soos and melody are trick or treating in a couple costume, soos as zelda and melody as link. melody wanted to cosplay link for awhile and you cannot convince me soos wouldn't jump at the chance to dress up as a badass anime elf princess who can fire lasers.

mabel, pacifica, and waddles are dressed as utena, anthy, and chu chu respectively. i have a headcanon that post working at the diner and slowly getting used to normal kid things, pacifica discovers anime. specifically shojo princess anime. she finds utena and loses her mind over it in private, with mabel eventually breaking down her walls and getting her to admit to the sin of liking anime. mabel gets pacifica to show her her favorites and mabel immediately insists they need to cosplay as utena and anthy for halloween, pacifica is a princess after all! (said in jest, but baby gay panic ensues on pacifica's end. mabel is pretty oblivious to her plight and doesn't realize why being pacifica's knight makes her feel so giddy until later on.)

dipper sees pacifica joining mabel as an excuse to flake out on trick or treating without being a total jerk, especially since they'll be joined by candy and grenda later. i know he's working on not trying to grow up too fast by the end of the series, but kids and teens are full of anxiety and doubts and i figure he would be pretty awkward about a lot of things still, even after learning otherwise. wirt doesn't want to dress up since the previous halloween ended with him in the unknown then waking up in the hospital, but greg still wants to go trick or treating. dipper tags along to help babysit greg despite it not really being necessary, wirt's just glad to have someone to chat with while he takes greg, especially someone who doesn't leap to finding him strange. greg is going as a ghost elephant and wirt assumes it's just the weird kid tradition of layering costumes over the years, but greg's logic is that he "died" as an elephant last year so now the elephant is a ghost. if wirt heard this he would probably end up freaked out, but kids are often more aware of things than expected. dipper is wearing wendy's hat since she traded with him at the end of the series.

putting wirt and greg in there could feel a little random, but these are my two favorite shows to watch during autumn and i associate them with each other. plus, it's otgw's ten year anniversary and it's so perfectly halloween, i think it makes enough sense to put them together. idk i love joy and whimsy, i am cringe and i am free.

i initally wanted to include other characters, candy, grenda, and wendy for sure but i was also considering coraline, wybie, and norman. felt way too complicated so maybe i'll draw something with those characters some other time.

[milayawr]

Stolen Pieces

Nikolai Lantsov x F!Reader

Summary: The reader has to steal for her debts, and the victim of her last theft isn't happy about it.

Warnings: Mentions of Pekka Rollins and death.

Word Count: 1,340

Notes: I'm not sure about it but here we go.

+ I decided to use "you" instead of "she/her" and it's a big change for me but i'll do it anyways.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

It was a tough decision but you made it years ago when your mother died. You didn't have time to think back then, you just had to. Every weekend, you went to pray for your sins to be forgiven. Stealing was a sin and you had become a sinner. You were living with the need of being forgiven. No one would forgive you if they knew you were the one who stole their important belongings.

But you needed the money as much as you needed forgiveness. Your mother died with debts and after her death, they were all over you. You inherited the debts. Pekka Rollins would kill her if you won't pay all of them.

It was nearly done, your freedom was so close. You could feel it on your fingertips. But it was also hard to do. You had to steal ten thousand kruge in five days. Five days till your freedom or death.

You've made a deal four years ago. You will pay your mother's debts and be free. If you can't pay off all of them before your twentieth birthday, Pekka will kill you.

Pekka had many enemies, and none of them could finish him. He was dangerous as hell.

You closed your eyes and leaned your head against the wall. Your breath got stuck in your lungs because of how fast you ran. You continued to run until you were certain that you had distanced yourself from the port. Maybe it was a big mistake to steal the most known pirate's money, but it was more than enough to close the debts of your dead mother.

Your mother had you when she was really young. You knew that you were a whole mistake, but your mother had shown you love. She got into debt to feed you, give you a safe house, and help you, her daughter, grow up less pathetic than you were meant to be. You had to close the debts.

The streets were empty and dark. You trusted the darkness more than anyone else because it was easy to steal when it was dead of the night. You hated every second of it and would hate every moment of your future life— if only there would be such a thing.

You checked the bag that was hiding the money. All of them were there. More than ten thousand kruge. You couldn't hide her happiness. You pressed the bag to your chest as you tried to push back your tears. You didn't cry but wanted to cry like a newborn babe cries for the love of a mother. When it's all done, you will spend your whole life praying and seeking the forgiveness of the saints. For four years, you had nothing to do but steal. After all of it, you will be free to seek forgiveness.

The darkness that surrounded her became heavier as you started to walk. You felt her heartbeat get slower, and it scared you. Your eyes were heavier than the darkness, and then you fell into someone's arms. The strong arms of a man started to carry you. Step after step, your sight became darker, and finally, your mind went away for a dreamless sleep.

———

Sounds of wood filled your ears. As your consciousness came back, you kept your eyes closed. You wanted to figure out who had kidnapped you. Someone was walking around. The sound of wood was strange yet familiar to you. You couldn't understand how many people were there. Only the footsteps of someone were loud and clear.

"She's awake." Said a female voice. You started to open your eyes and waited for a headache, but there was nothing but blankness. You couldn't remember how you got here.

"Well, well," this time, the voice belonged to a male. You saw him standing, so you thought it was his footsteps that were torturing the wooden floor of the ship.

The ship.

The realization hit you hard in the face. You were on the ship of the famous Sturmhond. They've managed to catch you and will probably kill you. It was really a mistake to steal from him. Now he will throw you away to the sea and watch the creatures of the sea eat and torture you and laugh while you die.

Pekka sounded very nice after all.

"I am sorry," you stated as you panicked. You couldn't even choose the words that left your mouth.

"So she knows her mistake," Sturmhond said. "Very well." His foot carried him closer to you. Every step of his took a second from your life. "Tolya, Tamar, you can leave us. I have to deal with this beautiful thief that came out of the blue."

They left without any words. Your stomach was against you and started to turn up and down. You were going to throw up because of how you were scared at the moment. "You took your money back, I assume."

"You assume the right thing."

"So I can go now. You know, you took it back and now it is my turn to go."

"No, I don't know, actually." He stepped closer and closer to you. Your eyes sought a sword or anything that could kill you in a second, but there was nothing. Just him and you and the bed you were sitting on. "I want to understand something first. Why would a girl like you steal my money?"

"Maybe because I need it?" You regretted those words, but it was too late. Words hung on the air while regret put an ashy taste to your mouth.

Your soul nearly left your body when you heard a laugh from him. "Yeah, I get that, obviously. But why do you need it?"

You didn't want to tell him about your mother's debts. It was too embarrassing for you. You weren't ashamed of your mother; on the contrary, you were ashamed of yourself. You could have a proper job and have money. But the jobs that were offered to you were not appropriate at all.

"I—" You hesitated, but he waited for you to respond patiently. "I have debts." You cut it short and avoided telling the details to a famous stranger.

Sturmhond just studied you. His eyes observed your face and your expressions closely. "You are stealing for your debts," He said. "Why aren't you finding an easier way?"

Your fear of death changed itself to another thing. Your eyes were filled with anxiety and you were trembling. You pulled yourself back as possible.

"No, you got me wrong," He declared when he saw the sudden change in you. "I meant to offer you a job here, and in exchange, I would pay off all of your outstanding debts. It's not a job in the way that you're thinking."

"Why?" You asked because you knew no good was for free. Why would he want a thief to work with him?

"Because I'm impressed, that's it." He threw the money bag into the air and caught it again. "I want you to work for me and I'll pay your debts. Deal?"

You ignored him to think for a while. It was a great opportunity, but you didn't know if he was serious. What if he was tricking you into some trap? What if he was just trying to give you hope and then kill you with those empty words? You weren't sure about it, but your life was close to the end anyways. There was no way to find ten thousand kruge in five days again. You had the chance, but the chance had turned its face against you.

You had fallen into gambling between Pekka and Sturmhond, and you had to choose one. Pekka would kill you anyways because you lost the money you had. Sturmhond would probably kill you because the money you stole was his. It could be a trap but... You had to choose one of the paths.

So, you decided to play with your unfortunate fate. "Deal."

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Part Two

[honey-minded-hivemind]

The winner is... the 🦈SirenSong!AU! In this au, the platonic yans are sirens, and so is their bby. Sirens in this au have some form of hypnotic power, mainly their voices, which leads to them being persecuted by the humans inland... but on the coasts and islands, sirens are the ones who rule. After all, they can use their abilities to hunt and sell fresh sea food, own special hotels and aquariums filled with colorful and versatile fish and sea creatures, sell their more... "special" skills, such as singing, siren scale trading, and some have magical/mystical abilites/mutations... not to mention the pearl, sea glass, and ancient artifact trade, run and controlled by sirens who are able to explore and collect from the deepest depths of the ocean...

No one is a hero or villain in the super person sense here. They can be labeled as heroic or villainous, but they aren't exactly fighting crime... they all have their own special way of earning a living, and stick to their guns. Some sirens are built differently than others, due to their ability/mutation, their siren tail/type, and where they live. Different types include the reef sirens (colorful, smaller, and fast), the open ocean sirens (bigger, sharper teeth and claws, muted colors), and deep sea sirens (largest there is, eat a lot, can live very long). There are a mix of different patterns and color combinations, but all sirens, when fully submerged in water, have a fishy/serpentine lower half. Depending on the age of the siren, they can hold a human form better, and if young, will have duller teeth and nails, thinner scales, and be smaller than the adult sirens. Sirens are considered a young adult once they've reached two hundred years old (every decade is how they count an age; example being: 2 decs= 20 years old, 4.5 decs= 45 years old, etc.. But, sirens age... kinda slow. The young grow rather slowly, but will look like teens by age thirteen, buuut they kinda stay like that until they reach 200 years old. Thus, why sirens only consider them an adult at that age: because they look/act older, and have enough experience by then to be considered a young adult).

Sirens are protective of their young, which can be called pups or guppies. Nicknames can be near anything, from shrimp and krill, to angelfish and seal, to eel and crab (Note: shrimp and krill are generally used for small/young/scrawny pups, angelfish and seal are generally used for cute/pretty/handsome pups/sirens, and eel and crab are generally used as unsavory words, the equivalent to calling someone a b*tch/b*stard or shrew/jerk). Sirens don't have a lot of pups, due to humans hunting them down and/or using them for their scales, voices, or for meat/as a trophy. This has led to many sirens killing or enslaving humans, as a way of enacting revenge or to hurt humans for their past sins... For this au, you can imagine the platonic yans as anyone from Marvel, but I mainly stick with Avengers and X-Men heroes and villains. In this, I mainly imagine the X-Men heroes and villains (but again, free feel to imagine who you want).

The reader, for this au, has never met another siren. They don't even know anything about siren customs or culture, because they have kept themselves hidden from others of their own species. The reader is young, somewhere between 1.5 decs (15 years) and 2 decs (20 years). They were raised by a human, who took then in when they were able to escape a siren pup trafficking group... But, the reader moves into a siren territory, due to having to hide after their parent dies, and not wanting anyone to discover what they are... Cue the reader ending up in a coastal town, busy and bustling and full of water... and full of platonic yans...

I have ideas for different scenarios, which I will try to do a few, such as if they meet the siren X-Men and/or Brotherhood, what each platonic yan from those looks like in siren form, and perhaps the yans discovering the reader is a siren pup... (And not not mention each group wanting to have the reader, once discovered to be one of them, join their pod/school, staying in the group nest with the other pups... and yes, do expect the adult platonic yans acting like overprotective parents/relatives, and the younger platonic yans acting like possessive siblings... and lots and lots of purring, chirping, clicks, and some soft hypnosis).

This was a honeycomb thought for the 🦈SirenSong!AU!

[duskspring]

A Picnic and Magic - Ghouls&Human Children

Domestic December- Day 19

Summary: The Clergy hosts a picnic to teach its children about the ghouls

Content (do let me know if I forgot anything!): No dialogue, they/them AND chronically ill Zephyr

Word count: ~1.2k

The Ministry saw a lot of new faces each year. Yes, most new recruits came with the success of the Ghost Project, but there was also a portion of children being born into it by Siblings of Sin. And although some new parents chose to leave the abbey after birth, others wanted their kids to grow up there.

The grounds housed a second, smaller building for families, one where children wouldn’t be exposed to some of the more egregious sinning by accident and where they could attend various classes.

Raising those kids at the ministry did come with a few challenges, mainly their understanding of the ghouls. At first, most kids either didn’t understand or flat out feared them. Thus, the upper clergy had to come up with a solution.

The plan was simple, on one particular warm summer day there would be a picnic for all to attend, where the ghouls would get a chance to interact with the children and try to win them over with the use of their powers.

Although not everyone got to attend. More stoic, quick tempered or sensitive ghouls had been kindly asked to not show up. At least not on that day, but maybe next time. The kids had to be eased into it, you see. Most of them didn’t complain, not minding the lack of responsibility towards the most frail individuals.

Another hurdle came with their masks. A real discussion was raised of if the children would be more afraid of the masks or their glamoured forms. Eventually it was decided into a split, where if there was more than one ghoul representing an element, one of them would be wearing their mask.

Different parts of the grass field were dedicated to said elements. Children were encouraged to visit them all by means of offering a variety of foods and games at each section, as well as a showcase of the ghouls’ powers of course. For every ghoul there was a sign with some basic facts about them, to humanize them further in the eyes of the kids.

At the water section it was just Rain. Although six more (partially) water ghouls walked the ministry halls, all had been deemed either too scary or too… Dewdrop. Still, he was excited to show off a bit, and most of his fellow ghouls came to stand with him from time to time. Especially Ifrit who also stood alone.

He was mostly in charge of keeping everyone cool by, when given permission, summoning splashes of water to spray people with. He did so mostly by conjuring it from his index fingers while he held his hands in gun gestures.

As stated, Ifrit was the second lonesome ghoul. Once again, the other fire ghouls were either too scary or too… Dewdrop.

He was acting like a firebreather, but mostly summoned shapes and letters of fire in the air, spelling out kids’ names, much to their amazement. Although he was the most directly dangerous, he made sure everyone stayed at a safe distance.

Omega and Aether worked together to represent the quintessence element. Phantom had been considered as well, since he mostly came across as harmless, but his packmates knew he would probably get overwhelmed very fast.

Quintessence was a hard element to show off physically, so they mostly helped hurt kids feel better or read their emotions, in an attempt to impress.

Omega was already more well known, helping out families from time to time and having been there for the delivery of most of the children. Many asked to hug him as a familiar, which he never minded. He’d accidentally turned into the posterghoul for all of them; someone friendly and approachable, who would help you out in times of need.

Mountain and Pebble showed off plants and flowers they’d helped grow and even summoned some brand new ones on the spot to hand out. Most children, however, only focused on giggling about their height difference. The smaller of the two was not at all amused at first, but got less annoyed at it throughout the day, while the other kept awkwardly trying to laugh it off.

And finally there was air. Zephyr, Cirrus and Cumulus had been easy picks, since they were already known among adults as nice and calm individuals. As part of the older generation of ghouls, the only missing air ghoul had always been less concerned with being family friendly, although Secondo did drill into his mind that he should try his best not to scare anyone. Still, it was best for him to sit this day out.

The present three worked together very carefully to raise some of the children a little bit off the ground. Their small feet dangled maybe a few inches high at most, but every last one was ecstatic. Most of them ran to their friends afterwards, telling anyone who would listen that they had just flyed.

There was no representation for multi ghouls that day. Copia had tried to explain to Swiss as kindly as possible that his smile would probably scare the kids more than comfort them. And Aurora still hadn’t properly adjusted to interacting with adults, let alone children.

As the day progressed, even some of the more cautious kids had at least admired the ghouls from afar. All parents were very supportive of them, encouraging them to approach the ghouls and telling them they were all friendly.

Every last ghoul had been popular with someone throughout the day. Some kids had jokingly retaliated against Rain by getting their own water guns and it turned into a whole game of him versus the children, where they would oh and ah when he managed to stop a spray midair.

Some other kids had discovered Ifrit’s functionality as a jungle gym, and were climbing up to his shoulders and hanging from his outstretched arms. All the while he stayed very still, treating it as a work out to try and keep them all up.

Omega had already been liked, but when it got time for the kids to go home that sentiment had spread to Aether as well. He’d probably be able to help out in the family infirmary from that point on as well, something he felt immense pride for.

Pebble ended up getting his hair braided by two little girls, summoning flowers Mountain suggested for them to weave through it.

Zephyr had gotten quite a few questions about their wheelchair in the blunt, frankly rude way that children asked questions about those sorts of things. They’d answered them in as simple terms as possible, kindly correcting anyone who had accidentally said something distasteful.

Cirrus and Cumulus had started singing a few songs throughout the day, getting a small choir of children together and helping them sound their best. A few of them asked to receive vocal lessons more often, and although Cirrus was a bit nervous about interacting with such young kids so much, Cumulus was nothing but excited to make it a reality.

Eventually the time came for everyone to go have dinner. The ghouls all got a lot of goodbye hugs, and although the day was a fun success, they were all glad to finally get a break again.

Needless to say, the picnic worked wonders, with the Clergy already trying to plan the next one.

[My Main Masterlist | Domestic December Masterlist]

[simcardiac-arrested]

AKNDMN,S okay so

juts a fair warning this is a very long ramble so like. people reading this be careful you might be stuck here forever because you cant put read more in asks for some reason

I don't have any updated references for Six Silver Stars (the one who's very mad at one guy) so she won't. have any images.

She was created with the idea of mapping stars and planets and stuff so her puppet chamber was built outside of the can and made out of glass with her puppet arm attached to the roof of it. im sure this creates no issues at all whatsoever. anyways the main ancients that monitored her and talked to her did not like them. which im sure doesnt create any issues whatsoever. ive fallen in love with the idea of schools organising trips to visit the puppets of iterators so she made friends with this one kiddo who wasnt super social with the group. kid was often granted permission to visit her chamber and they'd often talk and just bond. kid was part of a fancy-ish family who was very devoted to the void. bring in Unnamed Iterator because i cannot think of a name

art and design not by me by a friend btw.

anyway they were made to bless people and prepare them for the void. like the people felt that they were ready and they pretty much just said 'yeah good luck' and gave them offerings and fancy robes and masks to hopefully make the void favour them slightly. Kids family went 'yeah lets all dip in the void and take our like. 15 year old kid with us this is so cool of us' which then left Stars pretty alone as her ancients often just. blocked communications for her because they were soo amazing(sarcasm) Stars immediately turned all blame onto the guy because its all she really had to blame. she didnt know the parents of the kid and she obviously wouldnt blame the kid so yeah. this guy was the blame.

this guy also worked very closely with Swirling Blossoms, Fading Fast

(again art and design not by me i saw this adopt and my brain went yesss) as they both had similar but different jobs. They made to be a god directly to the ancients, a place of worship, offerings and confessions. she was built with taboos SUPER SUPER SUPER enforced into her code like to an ungodly amount. also was given a lot of 'ancients need help you must help them they dont mean to do anything wrong ever they need help.' again i am sure that this didnt give them any issues surrounding themselves and their ancients at all. both them and unnamed guy communicated a lot and slowly started to date in secret which was Really Weighing on Blossoms because ''dont grow attached to anything thats a sin thats a no no ''

this continued to weigh in on her and like. a little while after the mass accession somehow messages between them got leaked. like not anything gross just typical couple stuff. not sure how this happened yet . but yeah, she was Very Stressed OUt About This despite like no once giving a shit. panic lead to her making dumb desicions and she ended the relationship and isolated herself. a lot 👍

so during this unnamed guy is like acticly trying to fix two relationships, one with someone they barely knew but felt very very bad for and one with their ex.

starts continued to do not very good and was exceedingly pissed at unnamed guy because before the mass ascension her communications were blocked and no one is able to break them or undo them. so like. they were sending scugs back and forth to Stars who was just like "Dude FUCK OFF you fucking killed my kid " and his ex was just sending them back with no response. theyre so fucking fucked over and a sopping beast and theyre not okay.

anyways theres more but this is also like. a brick post thats not very well organized so if youre still interested i might talk more about them in another ask

DIVORCE NUMER UNOOOOOOOOOO

[psshaw]

Feelings-first therapy language has been interesting to navigate because I’m a very “actions are more important than words” type of lady. Growing up midwestern, I learned early that “sorry” means “don’t be mad at me”, and “we’re so happy to see you!” has no bearing on whether a person gets talked shit about later. “Nice” was never a trait I admired. In my experience, “nice” people were either naive or liars. “Nice” people cared what you were supposed to say, not what was true.

I could not figure out the motive for living like this, because it looked like torture. Now I realize the political benefits, but grokking it feels like reverse-character development.

Meanwhile, I can argue with you 100 times a year and feel nothing, because I respect you more for holding your own and being honest than I would if you agreed with everything I said. When I’m looking to knock someone off-guard, honest observations change the tone fast. I start asking questions— really, you agree with everything I said? That’s all you have to add? And sometimes people really do start to wonder what programmed them to do that.

I still hold a lot of hurt from an old friend who hated to argue. They always asked my opinion before giving theirs. Looking back, they were used to getting what they wanted by being “nice”, and got enraged and confused when it didn’t work. They often did objectively cruel things, just a step removed from where the victim could see it. They kept no-one’s secrets, “played both sides”, and took zero responsibility for the part they played in ratcheting the tension. Whenever things went south, they washed their hands of it and told the story as if they weren’t there. But the next time around, they still couldn’t resist getting involved. Because when two people won’t resolve things directly, the agony aunt gains two friends.

That preoccupation with perception— agreeing with two people at once, only taking responsibility for what they’ve been caught doing, using “sorry” like a magic word but repeating the cycle anyway— feels familiar in the obfuscations of therapy speak. I think a lot of people are attracted to “toxic” and “gaslighting” and “red flag” because it facilitates a flattening of a situation— a good guy and a bad guy, maybe. I’m often surprised by how little some people examine their own actions for anything other than “does this look good according to the current zeitgeist?”

The way I handled my Catholic guilt was by noticing I wasn’t in this alone. My whole congregation supposedly had Original Sin, and they sure as hell weren’t living more morally than me at 9 years old. Plus, what loving sky-daddy would put us on a world with so many temptations and just quietly scratch off our Heaven points for 80 years? So I deduced there was more wiggle room than we were interpreting the Bible to have— otherwise, Hell is full of preteens.

All of this is to say that “bad person” has never been a scary label to me, because I was raised to believe we were all bad. What mattered is that we were trying to be better. This is what made social justice make sense to me, too, though now I understand why other people see “don’t do that, it’s racist” as some kind of indelible attack on their character. (It’s cos they were raised wrong.) To me, the point isn’t to come out of the gate being perfectly liked and agreeable. It’s to show everyone how hard you can try.

[spectrechosts]

Hell's Belles - Chapter 3

Relaxing and studying sin.

Full Series

"This feels so good…" Grezayla sighed, relaxed.

"I'm glad you like it, little lamb."

"Can… Can I put it in my mouth?"

Lilith rolled her eyes. "Yes, you can eat the lava." She said.

"Just remember to shapeshift it out of you if you swallow it." Tinixi added. "You don't want it to pass through the normal way once it's cooled into a rock."

"Mmmf." Grezayla said, nodding, her voice muffled by the handful of lava she had already shoveled into her mouth.

The lava spas in the lower levels of Lilith's palace were a perfect spot for her to unwind from the stresses of her job, and for her concubines to lounge about in comfort as they pleased. She lay on the surface of the pool, letting its warmth seep into her bones.

"Flash card!" Azaerixia shouted, holding a crude drawing up to Grezayla, who drooled her mouthful of lava out over herself.

"That's a…" Grezayla squinted. "What way is the one on top facing?"

"Oh! Hang on!" Azaerixia said, quickly scribbling hair onto the figure to make it clearer, before holding it up again.

"Reverse cowgirl."

"Correct!" She said, and flopped back down to draw another scene.

"That tasted worse than I expected."

"Did you think molten rock would taste good?"

"Maybe." Grezayla said evasively, scooping more lava onto herself. "I certainly didn't expect it to be comfy, but here we are."

"Watch you don't pile so much on that you sink, Vasselli did that once and it took us a week to find her." Said Tinixi.

"Oh my god, was she okay?" Grezayla asked, and Lilith snorted.

"She was fine. She told us to put her back in, said it was the best nap she'd had in centuries."

"She got sent to Sloth for a few months so they could investigate, apparently none of them had ever thought of it. Got a big soul payout for her 'innovations in the field of napping' when she was done."

"Wow. Must've been some nap."

"Transformation check!" Azaerixia shouted, pointing at Grezayla. "Grow your tongue out to bellybutton length!"

Grezayla grew her tongue out, and out, and out, overshooting her mark before managing to reel it all back in to normal length.

"Dammit!" She huffed.

"You're too focused on the growing." Lilith said, without looking up. "Don't try to make your tongue bigger and then stop, just envision how long you want it to be. You'll get it."

"You can undo it on your own now though, that's good progress!" Azaerixia chirped, and Lilith and Tinixi echoed her praise.

Grezayla shifted her position, dragging an arm out of the pool with some effort.

"I don't know if I could sleep in this." She said, wiggling her fingers. "It'd be too heavy, I like to be able to move around."

"It's not for everyone."

"FLASH CARD!"

"Already? Uhh, standing full nelson."

"Correct! You're getting good at these!"

"I must say, this isn't how I would teach someone sex positions, Azzy."

"No, no, it's effective." Grezayla insisted. "It's the names that trip me up."

Lilith shrugged. "To each their own."

"FLASH CAAARD!"

"How are you drawing these so fast? Doggy."

"Correct! And now that you bring up dogs-"

"Oh, hon…" Tinixi sighed.

"Azzy, dearest, you have to let it go." Lilith said softly.

"I will not! There has to be some way I can keep a dog down here."

"Unless you can communicate with one and get it to agree to give you it's soul, there really is not."

"But why!? Why do they all go to heaven?"

"I don't think it's that they all go to heaven so much as none of them go to hell." Grezayla said.

"Why not?! There has to be at least one sinful dog out there!"

"No, because like, animals don't have the capacity to sin. Only humans."

"Cats can sin." Tinixi said. "They learned how like, a couple hundred years back."

"What?"

"Cats can sin." Azaerixia agreed, nodding.

"That- No they can't. That doesn't even make sense."

"I don't know what to tell you, they're definitely down here. They have the capacity to know they're doing something sinful and do it anyway." Tinixi said, shrugging.

"What. But-"

"You want something that'll really confuse you, little lamb?" Lilith asked, smiling smugly. "So only humans can sin, because you're descended from Eve, who ate the fruit of knowledge and in doing so learned ~right from wrong~, and thus the capacity to sin, yes?"

"Yes?"

"Okay." Lilith said, showing her teeth. "Explain why I'm in hell."

Grezayla thought for a moment, narrowing her eyes.

"Wait, why-"

"Uh-huh."

"Because you aren't-"

"Uh-huh."

"And you didn't eat-"

"Nope."

Grezayla put her hands to her temples.

"What the fuck."

"Sorry little lamb, but the old man just throws whatever he feels like down here. No rhyme or reason to it." Lilith said, relaxing back into the lava.

"So…. Maybe dogs eventually?" Azaerixia asked, hopeful.

"Maybe. Eventually."

"Yesssss. Also flash card."

"I don't understand what I'm looking at."

"Okay, so these two are staying perfectly still after putting the dick in, and this one is jumping on the bed they're all on-"

[illarian-rambling]

For the WIP/OC Ask Game:

What's the deal with that evil desert?

How does magic work?

And feel free to ramble about your favorite characters and their most curious details!

Hi there!

I answered about the desert here, but I'll be happy to tell you about magic!

Magic on Illaros spills from a mysterious dimension known as the Veil. Different shapes will draw it out in different forms, much as different keys will unlock different doors. Some of these shapes are fire or ice. Others are more complicated, like memory reading and matter degradation/transportation/assembly (aka teleportation). People who learn to draw and harness these different shapes are known as rune scribes, or simply mages.

Sorcerers are where it gets a little funky. They are born with enzymes in their blood that are shaped in a way to allow the Veil to spill through into the sorcerer’s body. With their divine soul, they are able to manipulate this magic using simple, rune-adjacent shapes formed with their hands, called sigils. It's much faster than drawing on the Veil by drawing runes, but sorcerers suffer from exhaustion, migraines, nausea, and any number of physical ailments when they use up too many of their enzymes, though the enzymes do grow back eventually.

In addition to these two, there's also alchemy and divine magic. Alchemy uses magically mutated creatures to create potions, while divine magic involves people asking the gods to pretty please loan them a miracle. Divine magic is the most powerful form of magic, however, only a very select group of people can wield it.

There's also rotting magic. This isn't a type of magic someone can wield, but a natural effect. When magic stays too long untethered to a spell or rune, it will start to decay in a stream of microscopic particles. The people of Illaros call this sorcerer’s poison, but we'd call it radiation. They call it sorcerer’s poison specifically because sorcerers can draw on the rotting magic of their previously cast spells even when they're out of enzymes, though it has a chance of killing them via something akin to very fast radiation sickness.

There's a bunch of other weird stuff going on too, but I think I'll leave it at that ;)

The character that's been on my mind lately isn't one of the main cast, but instead a side character in MG3. Marius Montane is the younger brother (15 years younger) of Antonin Montane, the patriarch of the Montane family bank and father of Ivander Montane.

Marius was only 20 when Ivander’s mom disappeared, and since Antonin had more important things to do, he sort of took it upon himself to raise the boy after that. I'd say he did a decent job, all things considered. Marius was also deeply traumatized by the Montane family atmosphere, and 20 is not very old to be raising an 8 year old. Soon after, people made a run on Marius's bank, and he received a portion of Timaz's curse as punishment (the same, flesh-to-mist stuff Ivander has going on, but just on his leg). He trained Ivander strictly in hopes of keeping him safe from the curse, and the pain often made him irritable, so he wasn't always the softest of caretakers. His wife, Parva, helped too, but she died by the time Marius was 30. The pairing was an arranged one, so they were never in love, but they were quite friendly. Marius used his grief for her as an excuse to never remarry, as the Montanes are pretty keen on producing blood-related heirs, and that man is gay as the day is long.

He's just a really tragic character, all in all. After Ivander left, he thought about following, but could never work up the courage. He lives in terror of his brother. I think that's one of Antonin's cardinal sins; being the sort of man his little brother is afraid of. But don't you worry. Marius will get his moment :)

Thanks for the asks!

[sorcerersandskillusers]

The early days of the Armed Detective Agency

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44330419

Fukuzawa glanced up at the clock 3:30 in the morning, he groaned, looking down at the massive pile of paperwork in front of him. His desk, normally kept so clean and ordered with only his active bodyguard in contracts on it. Currently lay in a mess of case files, reports and ministry documents. He placed his head in his hands and sighed. Was this really the life he wanted? The past few weeks had been some of the most chaotic he had ever experienced. Many hours had been spent in meetings with high up officials. He had to use many favours he was owed just to cover for Ranpo and his frequent rudeness and disregard for authority.

 He knew he had much to atone for. The sins of his past constantly followed him like blood that wouldn’t wash off of his sleeves. However, this punishment seemed harsh even for someone like him. He was well accustomed to long periods of silence and meditation, but the stress he went through every time that Ranpo called an important official an idiot to their face shortened his life span more than any of his martial arts training ever had.

 He was meant to submit some of these reports in the morning, deciding that pondering such things would be a waste of time, Instead, he tried to refocus on the task in front of him. But as he mulled over the endless signings and documents, he quickly found his mind wandering again. He wasn’t qualified for this, Ranpo needed someone who could look after him properly someone who could stand on the level of his mind, Fukuzawa had no idea where someone like that could be found but he most certainly wasn’t him. He sighed once again. Maybe he would just go to sleep.

 He heard a creaking at the door. Quickly, his eyes shot to the door, years of practice letting him get into a combat ready stance without seeming to change his composure He readied for a potential intruder. However, it was Ranpo who entered, rubbing his eyes tiredly and looking like he had just woken up. wandering into the room he asked, “what are you doing in here, aren’t old people meant to go to sleep early?”

 “I have to finish the reports from our previous mission. You deduced the answer so fast that there wasn’t time for the police to finish the paperwork.” Fukuzawa replied ignoring the comment on his age.

 “Paperwork? I bet that’s really boring, I don’t understand why they don’t just lock the people up and leave it at that”.

 Fukuzawa sighed again. This had been a frequent complaint of Ranpo’s and he knew he would never get him to understand, much less do his own paperwork. This would always be another burden for him.

 Ranpo wandered over to the desk and looked over the things Fukuzawa was writing. “I can’t believe you can write all of this. I’d get bored after 2 seconds. Well, I’m sure glad I have you to do this for me if I want to be a great detective.”

 Fukuzawa swallowed his frustration at hearing that, he was slowly growing used to working with Ranpo and remarks like that had little effect on him now.

 “Anyway, I’m gonna go back to sleep. You should head to bed too. This can’t be that important.”

 Fukuzawa watched Ranpo leave the room. Then he noticed on the desk where Ranpo had been standing lay a small, box of Nama chocolate. Ranpo must have brought it up for him. He hadn’t even noticed. Making sure the Ranpo wasn’t in the doorway. He allowed a rare smile to cross his face. Maybe doing this would be hell, but he’d gladly march through it if meant he could see Ranpo shine.

 He ate the chocolate as he turned back to the work Infront of him, it was delicious.

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Calyptra hologram

Summary:

Fill for this: https://nasuversekinkmeme.tumblr.com/post/715160002484207616/something-with-kirie-fujou-either-with-her-using 

OP never said who she used them on, so this is Overlooking View Good Ending (It’s not good at all).

I’m using an alt email because the fandom is going to murder me over this.

Fill:

[Calyptra hologram]

Looking back, he was never really the “goal”. She had convinced herself she needed him by her side. Always there. Him comforting her while she waited for death in her hospital bed.

Now, he was there by her side.

Silence.

The phantom does not speak.

It all began when she saw him. Even after the disease reduced her sight to blurry, unidentifiable, ghostly shapes, she saw him. The “dragonfly”. Somehow, her “sight” was in that room with him.

What did she find in him exactly?

A lot of lovely things could be said -nice, loyal-, but the truth was -and still is- not so romantic.

Kirie Fujou just wanted someone, anyone, to give a damn about her.

It’s been 10 years since that day. Crash. The exact details have been blurred with time, but she remembers that her family died in that car accident. Does she even remember their faces? Beep, beep. Some unspecified disease. Heart monitor beeping. Tumors this, nothing we can do that. Beep, beep. She should have been dead long ago, but her body somehow refused to die. The nurses called it a “gift”. Yet, she remained crippled and blind. The “gift” only prolonged the pointlessness. Beep, beep. Only her hair remained “healthy”, constantly growing, as if it was a shapeless calendar. Hey, it’s been 10 years. You are lucky to still be here. No one visits. No one cares.

Beep, beep.

The only confort was that window. A view of the city. Would be nice if she could fly out of here. One day, she began seeing that view as if her sight somehow came back. But it didn’t. A second field of vision? There might not be a way to put it into words properly.

She kept looking into that room with that sight. The “dragonfly” always came back there. Was this how someone in love acts? Looking back, he might have been as obsessed as her.

Why did she even begin to mentally call him “dragonfly”? Maybe something to do with those dreams of flying. Flying, floating, falling. She was a “butterfly”, slow, clumsy, crippled, useless, probably fated to die in a couple days. He was the “dragonfly”, fast, agile, actually having a reason to be there.

Not that it matters much now. The “dragonfly” is now stuck with the “butterfly”. Well, after what happened, you can’t really call it a “butterfly” anymore. Are there any monstrous butterflies? “Moth”? No, moths do not carry sins as horrid as hers. What was that moth that sucked blood called? Vampire moths? Oh, “calyptra”. Yes, that was her new name in this pointless bug analogy. Why stop there though? Let’s name all of them. The seven -now five- schoolgirls are now the “bees”. The demon that nearly killed her is now the “mantis”. The first visitor is now the “dung beetle”. And the visitor that had all the right in the world to kill her but did not is the “spider”.

It’s stupid to call them these names. But it being stupid makes her forget that they had names.

The “dung beetle” was the one of the few that got out. She never found out what he looked like. Her second sight seemed to avoid her own room. Don’t worry, second sight. It’s just a pile of tumors. It won’t hurt you.

It might hurt you after the “dung beetle” is done.

The “dung beetle” claimed to be a… what did he say, exactly? Magician? Wizard? Sorcerer? It doesn’t really matter. He just fully awakened something she had, and then left.

He never came back.

After the “dung beetle” left, her second sight became a second body. But she did not understand that at the moment. Finding yourself at that decrepit building that used to belong to your family, floating, going through walls has to be a dream? It had to be her brain joking about how much she looks like the ghost from that movie.

Then, the first “bee”.

She had found a girl wandering near that decrepit building, the “hive”. The only thing that remained of her family. Decrepit, ruined. Just like her real body.

The girl was of teenage age, probably some schoolgirl. Can’t she see me? I’m here.

“Hey, look at me.”

Crunch. First “bee”.

Why didn’t she try to figure out what had happened? Why did she have to try it a second time?

And a third and a fourth and a…

It was a dream, right? Surely she can’t be here as some sort of remote-controlled ghost that makes people want to jump off buildings.

Those reports in the radio about suicides have to be a coincidence, right? It’s just a nightmare she got from hearing that news, right?

Maybe the first few were an accident. But she knew the others weren’t.

Kirie had been alone in that room for 10 years. A bunch of schoolgirl ghosts following the second body at the “hive” was an improvement over her current situation.

Why schoolgirls? Did she forget that she is 27 years old?

Oh right, 10 years in a room. Nothing to do. She is still an imbecile teenager, isn’t she? 

The “bees” only followed. They were completely and utterly braindead. Should have called them “puppets”, but that’s not a bug.

How did it even work? The first ones have been a “hey, I’m here”. The others were a “join me”. Maybe it was like her second body. A projection. The starved “calyptra” projects a hologram, a ghost. The “calyptra” and the ghost project a thought. An idea. A suggestion.

Maybe she actually wanted to be the one falling.

There had to be something more than just making people fall. What if she used it slowly? Or a different suggestion. Would whoever got too close to the “hive” keep their brain when they became a “bee”?

What if she tried it on the “dragonfly”?

And so the “dragonfly” went to sleep. And stayed asleep.

And the “mantis” came.

The “mantis” was only there for the “dragonfly”. The “mantis” did not care about her.

The first time the “mantis” came to the “hive”, she noticed one of the arms was fake. So she tried making it drag her to fall, but she cut it off.

The second time, she killed one of her “bees”. Her companions, her only friends. So she projected what she had been projecting all this time.

Except, it wasn’t “come with me”.

“Fall”

The “mantis” has no attachment to life or death, so it did not work. Another friend goes down. Try the arm again. The arm can project itself like she does with her second body? What the hell is the “mantis”? The “calyptra” got caught. The arm can touch the phantom. It strangles. The “bees” just float around. The “mantis” is dragging the “calyptra” closer to eat her.

When she made the “dragonfly” sleep, she hadn’t really used the “I am here / come with me / fall”. More of a “sleep / wait for me”. So, she had to try something else.

“It’s your fault”

The “mantis” stops crushing her throat with that arm. The “calyptra” repeats the trick from the first time, and the arm claws at the “mantis”.

She won’t fall, so finish it up here.

“It’s your fault”. The “mantis”’ confidence is gone, replaced with nothing. Blank as the “bees”. The “mantis” grips the knife, but the tip does not aim at the “calyptra”.

It’s safe now.

Take the “dragonfly”.

“You can come here now”

He comes after a bit, his body merely giving up.

Braindead.

“Bee”.

She heard the news again. Somebody died in that cursed building again, this time on the roof.

Kirie had realized it was not a dream a while ago, but she now accepted it.

Murderer.

The vampire moth had sucked all the blood of the other bugs.

Crushed, bloodied corpses on the floor. The knife goes through the woman, and the body breaks down instantly. The arm detaches, gears, flesh, blood and water spilling out. A man stops breathing.

Her fault.

Maybe she should fall too.

But she just stayed in that bed. Her mind still went to her second body. But she just stayed motionless in the air. Don’t look at the “bees”. Or the “mantis”. Or the “dragonfly”.

The “calyptra” just stood still, not wanting to taste more blood.

One day, the “hive”, no, the Fujou Building got torn down. The “calyptra” just accepted it and floated away.

There’s nothing left for her there.

So she just stays above the hospital now. Nowhere to go.

The “spider” visited one day. No anger over what she had done. Just a few questions, and then left.

“It’s a mistake to choose your path based upon the sins that you carry. We don’t choose our path based on the sins that we carry, but we must bear our sins on the path we choose.”

Hard to do that when your sins are literally following you around.

The days pass. The “calyptra” just waits for her real body to finally fail. The second body stays still above the hospital. No one sees it.

No one in the hospital knows what happened.

More days. Her body is still diseased, but it does not die. Her vision is still useless. She still needs that wheelchair to move, and there’s nowhere to move to.

Death is not coming anytime soon.

Maybe she should seek it?

She already knows how she would like to do it.

A long fall from a place overlooking the world. Just like her seven victims. It would be poethic to do it at the Fujou Building, but it doesn’t exist anymore. Oh, well. The hospital would do.

While pushing her wheelchair towards the elevator, she senses something. She does not see it. But she knows it’s there, just like how she knows where the second body is. Except, this presence does not belong to her.

Shapeless. Hungry.

Somehow, she understood what it was. Maybe because it was similar to her. With one key difference.

Their real bodies were gone.

A blue fog born from the patients that succumbed to their pains, craving to claim a new body to replace the one that the world took from them. It didn’t think. It just desires, and acts accordingly.

“Wraith”.

No more bug analogies. Its name is “wraith” because it is a wraith.

The wraith ignores her. Why would it want a body as broken as hers? It goes to a nearby room, and crawls/floats closer to a patient.

She doesn’t know the patient, yet she decides to act.

The second body phases through the room’s ceiling, and calls to the wraith.

“Fall/fade/come with me”

There is no fall. The wraith just abandons its will to keep going. It fades away.

What now?

The patient is still asleep. They will never know what just happened here.

“It’s a mistake to choose your path based upon the sins that you carry. We don’t choose our path based on the sins that we carry, but we must bear our sins on the path we choose.”

She finds it dumb, but… can she stay to keep the wraiths away?

The wraiths are just like she was. A phantom stealing what does not belong to them over an impossible dream.

But, she can reflect.

Oh god, does she find it dumb. Don’t worry about the wraiths, a much worse ghost is here to save the day! 

Kirie Fujou makes her choice.

“You know, you were right… He never belonged to me.”

Silence.

“I don’t know if I can ever apologize for that day.”

Silence.

“Looking back, he was never the goal. I just wanted someone to be to me what he was to you.”

Silence.

“You were right that night, I was demonic.”

Silence.

“I considered jumping off the roof.”

Silence.

“But I decided to stay. I want to leave, but I should stay. To atone.”

Silence.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand what she and that man wanted from me.”

Silence.

“But I’ll try to fix what I can.”

Silence.

“You know, she told me your names”.

Silence.

“I’m sorry, Shiki and Mikiya”.

The reminders of her sins are still silent. They are utterly braindead. They are not the people they used to be, just a hologram with their faces. 

Maybe she could make them go. But she chooses not to. They stay alongside her, as a reminder of what she carries.

They stay floating alongside the calyptra hologram.

[xxlethal-lunaxx]

"You're too old to be acting this way"

"You're an adult now, why do you like toys?"

"Real adults don't do (insert "childlike" activities)"

Ok?...says who? There shouldn't be an issue with liking cartoons or "childish" things. Especially when autistic/neurodivergent we don't believe or recognize social standards, What defines something as just a kid's show? Just because someone has an interest in cute things and cartoons doesn't mean its a bad thing. I didn't have a typical childhood, I lost most of my childhood by having to help raise my siblings and mediate my parents....I had to grow up fast and block out my emotions, indulging in cartoons or allowing myself to reclaim those lost years are not only healing but is also comforting to me. It's scary to know I'm an adult now and that somehow it's some sin for me to watch cartoons and like toys or dolls. I want to heal and feel safe, I want to do those things my younger self could only dream and wish of.

Lately I feel so conflicted because I've been getting more anxiety/panic attacks due to emotional flashbacks which can last me hours, I feel upset because I don't want to feel these emotions and I feel gross at myself for feeling like I'm my younger self. Idk how to explain it and its scary cause I never really experienced this at least not this much until now, I don't like when I mentally feel back in the headspace of my younger self and at times I am scared of my surroundings because I'll feel I'm in a unfamiliar area, I am alone in this because I know I probably sound crazy and I have yet to mention this to my therapist (but will soon). It's involuntary and I hate it because it will be scary usually and the only thing I can do to calm myself down is just do things I'd do at that age, so if I feel I'm mentally in the headspace of 8 then I'd just listen to music or do activities 8 year old me enjoyed. I feel I will be hated or even disowned because of this even tho I am not doing this purposely. When I am criticized for liking kid things it hurts because I am only trying to have and live the life I never really got. Anyway I am exposing myself alot by sharing this but if I don't get this out I feel I'll explode with another panic attack.

[bitterarcs]

Combat has always excited Reno even if he wasn't classically trained in martial arts until he was fifteen — when he was actually batting the idea around of joining ShinRa's ranks. His innate allure towards combat ( which is essentially violence ) does not stem from positive history, naturally. People seek combat and seek to excel in it to either hurt others and protect themselves from being hurt . . both apply to Reno. In order to survive the slums and to not bee hurt again and again, he took to fighting quickly as though it came with the same ease as breathing. Maybe it does for children who have been beaten down, or perhaps Reno was born with that spark, that naturally tendency that takes to violence. In one way or another, he's been actively fighting since the age of eight, mostly defending himself when he was that young, then moved forth to hurting others back.

From an early age it wasn't just about the necessity of fighting, Reno did actually enjoy it. Not only did he enjoy being the victor in the fight, he has always enjoyed watching other people fight; this is how he learned a lot of interesting techniques growing up into his teenage years. At around the age of twelve, Reno began fighting for sport — making or losing some fast gil in sin dripped hell holes for back alley gambling. Reno was always scrappy and quicker than people expected but not particularly strong. At fifteen, when the prospect of being something more than a shit head street kid drew him towards ShinRa, he actively sought to be trained in mixed martial arts. Some techniques he learned on his own, however the bulk of very technical skills was learned from a variety of experts. He also took measures to bulk up his weight and gain real strength.

Being accepted into the Turks was validation that what he was doing was right. Although everything about Reno comes off as lazy, there are barely any things in his life which actually are lazy. If he's not in the field kicking ass, he's at the various gymnasiums at ShinRa HQ to keep in shape and keep developing his skills. When someone wants a challenge or is unaware of his vast skill set, Reno loves sparring other ShinRa employees. Just like taking down enemies, there's a tremendous thrill bringing a fellow comrade into submission. Reno doesn't consider himself a sadist, but he does have both sadistic and masochistic tendencies, more so with the former. A really good and bloody fight can get him excited. He can't imagine a life without combat.

038. — combat @poeticphoenix

[kuwdora]

mmmm here's the beginning of my flurry of WIP snippets for @littlestsnicket. My WIP-a-palooza and crossposting bonanza. Say that 5 times fast. Ficlet is from my Jaskier/Oxenfurt series that takes place between season 1 and 2. This scene is the first time Jaskier meets a small acolyte from the Eternal Fire (who will also be making an appearance in the puppetskier story as well). Warnings for child indoctrination and implied child abuse, canon-typical racism.

“You live in a den of equity!” a tiny voice heckled and Jaskier rounded on a heel and turned to peer at the small child. He was dressed in a grey smock that was stained with mud at the hem but otherwise appeared immaculate, which was impressive considering it was on the body of someone who couldn’t be more than 10 years old. Dark brown eyes simmered with anger and looked surprised that Jaskier had stopped to face him. The child must have gotten used to being ignored already but was still out here, harassing all nonhumans coming and going from the university grounds. He didn’t remember when the Eternal Fire had managed to get a toehold in Oxenfurt but there’d been enough upheaval recently that Jaskier wasn’t that surprised.

Jaskier looked at the sun, judging the amount of time he had left before he ought to swing down the docks and check in with the harbormaster’s assistant. He looked back at the child and then scanned the rest of the street, not finding any rheumy-eyed clerics nearby.

“Well, aren’t you a plucky little hatemonger,” Jaskier said, his annoyance fretted with a quiet despair when the child’s posture stiffened. The child’s head was nearly shaved down to the scalp and he had a wide, flat nose was wide and had a chin that would probably grow to be very strong and punchable if he continued on his current path. It was apparent the child had been outside long enough for his tawny skin to redden on his cheeks from the cold, which Jaskier supposed just added another metaphorical layer to the indoctrination the child was undergoing. The boy needed a thicker smock to be standing out here like that.

“You’re right that we do live here in equity but I’m pretty sure that’s not what your brainwashers meant. The word you’re looking for is iniquity.”

“In-ickitty?” the child asked and his face twisted in puzzlement.

Jaskier frowned. “Sin,” and the child nodded vehemently and mumbled inequity back to him and gave Jaskier a baleful eye while he was at it. Close enough.

“I bet your parents are proud to know what a good job you’re doing in the city. You seem like a young man who listens to his teachers.” Jaskier said

“My parents are dead,” the child said and his voice was far too caustic. Jaskier couldn’t help his face from twisting in response and the child went on, “The Nilfs came to my village and burned my home. I was with Brother Arbal when they came. He saved me but they burned him and the church. The fire is our guide through the darkness against the Black Ones, nonhumans and nonbelievers,” the child said with a practiced air and partial lisp. There was enough of his country accent for Jaskier to assume the child had been born somewhere near Sodden, so it didn’t take much for Jaskier to connect those painful dots.

The child’s brown eyes simmered with hatred and Jaskier’s chest twisted at the sight.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jaskier said. “My name’s Julian. What’s yours?”

“Karsten,” Karsten said and Jaskier offered his hand but the child kept to himself but was clearly torn between wanting further encouragement in his rhetoric and a shyness that came from an strange adult speaking to him with kindness.

“Nice to meet you, Karsten, ”Jaskier said and his knees were getting sore from squatting so he walked a few paces behind Karsten to claim a spot against a railing to the nearby pavilion. “Are you here for school? At the temple?” Jaskier asked and Karsten nodded but kept a wary distance and stuck his hands into the pockets of his robe. The robe was crisp and fitted enough to hide any bruising that could be left by impatient teachers.

The child squared his shoulders, braced for an argument against a nonbeliever. It made Jaskier’s heart tired.

[fdlvh]

Book review: 4/5

Spicy level: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Sins of the city series by K.J Charles

1) An unseen attraction 5/5

Description:

A slow-burning romance and a chilling mystery bind two singular men in the suspenseful first book of a new Victorian series from K. J. Charles. Lodging-house keeper Clem Talleyfer prefers a quiet life. He’s happy with his hobbies, his work—and especially with his lodger Rowley Green, who becomes a friend over their long fireside evenings together. If only neat, precise, irresistible Mr. Green were interested in more than friendship. . . . Rowley just wants to be left alone—at least until he meets Clem, with his odd, charming ways and his glorious eyes. Two quiet men, lodging in the same house, coming to an understanding . . . it could be perfect. Then the brutally murdered corpse of another lodger is dumped on their doorstep and their peaceful life is shattered. Now Clem and Rowley find themselves caught up in a mystery, threatened on all sides by violent men, with a deadly London fog closing in on them. If they’re to see their way through, the pair must learn to share their secrets—and their hearts.

Actual thoughts:

I was absolutely captured by the first book, the world-building is truly next level, as the gloomy setting, the descriptions, how precise and meticulous and intriguing is every piece of information given. I adored Rowley, his patience, his candor, his gentleness. I adored Clem, his problems, and the solutions he'd found to them, I loved the personalities living at the lodging house. The mystery and its resolution had me pacing for days wondering. The details: Clem's forgetfulness, Rowley's glasses, Cat that horrendous loving cat, the passion for such an unusual profession and the respect, and the respect the characters have for each other and their differences got to me and had me sobbing at the tender moments. I hated Clem's brother with a passion which makes him a wonderful character as well as the drunk priest. This was my very first book by K.J Charles and it left a mark, one hard to exceed.

My favorite part was how the story could be a compelling mystery, a soft romance with talks about boundaries, likes, and dislikes as well as a found family story. I love how Clem is portrayed and how defensive his friends are of him, how it talks about being different, and how it means so many different things, this book really broke me (in a good way, the best way) leaving me aching and crying about fictional men, leaving me to wonder how much difficulties people with disabilities, autism, and struggling with gender identity and orientation can face daily, can face in dating and showing love, how many have been overcome in centuries, how some kindness can change someone's life. This is still one of the best books I've ever read.

2) An unnatural vice 3/5

Description:

In the sordid streets of Victorian London, unwanted desire flares between two bitter enemies brought together by a deadly secret. Crusading journalist Nathaniel Roy is determined to expose spiritualists who exploit the grief of bereaved and vulnerable people. First on his list is the so-called Seer of London, Justin Lazarus. Nathaniel expects him to be a cheap, heartless fraud. He doesn’t expect to meet a man with a sinful smile and the eyes of a fallen angel—or that a shameless swindler will spark his desires for the first time in years. Justin feels no remorse for the lies he spins during his séances. His gullible clients simply bore him. Hostile, disbelieving, utterly irresistible Nathaniel is a fascinating challenge. And as their battle of wills and wits heats up, Justin finds he can’t stop thinking about the man who’s determined to ruin him. But Justin and Nathaniel are linked by more than their fast-growing obsession with one another. They are both caught up in an aristocratic family’s secrets, and Justin holds information that could be lethal. As killers, fanatics, and fog close in, Nathaniel is the only man Justin can trust—and, perhaps, the only man he could love.

Actual thoughts:

Fast-paced in confront to the first book and far too many repetitions of the same events with slight pov modifications, but maybe that's just me who read them one after the other. Less descriptions, fewer specifications, and not that many details yet it is a good haters-to-lovers story, one charged with sexual tension leaving the reader wondering if the next page would've contained a murder or a sex scene. I might've spent five good minutes laughing at certain scenes, such as Nathaniel collecting the first time he masturbated (he did so on a Saint Michael? I think, holy picture). I liked the switch of pace and themes, yet even as the story is interesting I was far too centralized on the mystery rather than the book's couple. Nathaniel felt too imperious without a proper justification for some matters but I loved his devotion, his fierceness. Justin is a tricky one, one that I cannot fully love or hate, he isn't a good man and I often found myself wondering if the relationship between Nathaniel and him could really function in the long run. Justin is a bad person, not even for his tricks or job but for his interpretation of feelings relevance and despite understating where he is coming from, the hurt, and the trauma I cannot fully sympathize or excuse his behavior which makes him incredibly human and well fucking written. I didn't like them as a couple, and while it made for a funny thought, them getting together, I really ended the book with a bitter taste in my mouth and the need to pick up the last book of the trilogy to discover the plot's end.

3) An unsuitable heir 3/5

Description:

A private detective finds passion, danger, and the love of a lifetime when he hunts down a lost earl in Victorian London. On the trail of an aristocrat’s secret son, enquiry agent Mark Braglewicz finds his quarry in a music hall, performing as a trapeze artist with his twin sister. Graceful, beautiful, elusive, and strong, Pen Starling is like nobody Mark’s ever met—and everything he’s ever wanted. But the long-haired acrobat has an earldom and a fortune to claim. Pen doesn’t want to live as any sort of man, least of all a nobleman. The thought of being wealthy, titled, and always in the public eye is horrifying. He likes his life now—his days on the trapeze, his nights with Mark. And he won’t be pushed into taking a title that would destroy his soul. But there’s a killer stalking London’s foggy streets, and more lives than just Pen’s are at risk. Mark decides he must force the reluctant heir from music hall to manor house, to save Pen’s neck. Betrayed by the one man he thought he could trust, Pen never wants to see his lover again. But when the killer comes after him, Pen must find a way to forgive—or he might not live long enough for Mark to make amends.

Actual thoughts:

Perhaps the book I liked less, even less detail and descriptions, and even less time spent between main characters to accommodate the main plot which made this relationship feel pressured and imposed. I really couldn't bring myself to care for Pen, I loved the idea of a nonbinary count fighting not to live his life as a man in eyes of society, I really liked his rapport with his sister as I like all sibling bonds written by Charles honestly. Nonetheless, I didn't enjoy Pen, he seems too reluctant and afraid to jump head-first into a relationship, and even if he wanted one it felt he would've been better off figuring out himself foremost. While in the story there is a waiting game, a beautiful understanding, and impressively modern speeches Pen and Marks's relationship still didn't feel right, not to the point of calling it love. I also didn't like Mark, while very open and aiming to please he often came off as rough and unpleasant. I really liked the resolution, liked the evolution of Clem throughout the three books, and how much some of their most strong views turned opposite or shattered completely. I loved the found family the Jack and Knaves offers and how strange outside of it the group of friends may seem. I enjoyed Phyllis and how female characters in Charles's books aren't any less fun and interesting than men or the main characters get depicted.

[venuswillendorf]

The worst thing is, he didn't fell in love: he became the slave of a baby. By a writing stand point, they are both helpless victims of a hell awful situation. Her, by having a grown man adapting to become whatever she needs the most from the moment she's born, so perfectly designed for her no options are even worth exploring, and perpetually ruining her development. Also, why on earth have the baby to grow up and develop so fucking fast? Why make it so obvious it is meant for the second love interest to have someone, someone who is necessarily a part of the protagonist herself, as fast as possible?

Renesmee was a clearly loved baby in a family of people who fucking longed for a baby for centuries. She never had a crib, because there was always someone willing to hold her at all times. Her development becoming slower wouldn't just make sense biologically, due to the vampire genes retarding her development, but would be a great heal and bond point for her family. Would give her time to explore the unique condition she was born in, having both vampire and human sensibilities, and the vampire time, to explore the nature and culture she was surrounded in. She won't ever develop full emotional intelligence, because she won't ever need to, really. There's someone hanging on her very existence, pleased to be on her call, who won't ever have boundaries if it means being around her.

And Jacob was done so fucking dirty. His main characteristic was being altruist and kind. He took care of his dad, of his friends, of his things, with devotion. He shouldered being orphaned and assuming the main care taker role of an disabled parent very soon in life, and he did it with love, while showing how much it affected him. He had to take care of Bella, at that point, barely more than an aquantaince, childhood summer friends with sisters that don't even live with him anymore, and did it lovingly, even when she attempted suicide and then run away, suddenly cold towards him, with someone he knew was dangerous, without as much as explanation. Never, in his characterization, it made sense for him to be an harassing asshole. It didn't make sense for him to play off Bella being fucking pissed at him for being a asshole, too. Tying him to her beyond a boy crush on a best friend was unfair writing, when it meant changing him at his core to favour Edward, the one who didn't communicate and took decisions alone, even if it was for something he believed to be better all around. The one who fucking stalked a girl's bedroom for weeks, knowing full well how much of a active danger he was for her. Jacob was only an asshole when it meant redeeming Edward's sins and making him look like the right choice. Making Jacob suffer a bit for unrequited love was great, he's a teenage boy whose heart was broken for the first time, but essentially taking from him all choice, all passions, all he ever loved, to tie him to a baby, who will never develop emotional intelligence enough to know how to be fair and respect him, because she won't ever need to do it as his boundaries burned down the moment she was born, is eternal hell.

Fuck, even the tribe becoming shape shifters was caused by vampires, and it is a painful, not ever feeling in full control of yourself again thing. By eclipse, we get to know there's 13 year old boys dragged into this because of the Cullen's return. Literal children, still going through puberty. Jacob and his people hated vampires and everything they meant and were. Tying him to eternal servitude to something he believed at his core was an aberration was beyond cruel in all aspects, and he never had any consent on it. Jacob never wanted eternal life, and that's what he will have to settle, as Renesmee won't grow up past a certain stage.

Jacob was way too young to even express solid plans for his own adulthood, but showed his disgust towards everything vampire. Jake was mouthy and witty, and liked so much making his own choices he decided to go on his own. There's even a moment where he just wishes he could fall in love with a the nice gas station girl, who shared his interests and just be normal.

Jake was robbed, and so was Renesmee, all in order to achieve Bella getting both guys through an proxy.