#and failure to see the individual beneath it all has led to some really hateful discourse

[tunacharm]

I understand feeling guilty about having outdoor cats, but please let that guilt inspire you to making a better, safer life for your kitties instead of becoming defensive and angry! It never feels good to realize that you were maybe doing something that wasn't always the best, but it doesn't make you a bad person for not knowing or thinking differently. Dogs also seem happy to be outside, but we know it isn't okay to let them roam freely with no supervision. We have leash laws for a reason. Sorry if I'm overstepping, animal welfare means a lot to me, and I don't think people should reject a message that ultimately is better for you, your cats and the environment because some people are mean about it. Some people are mean about everything, but I don't think that makes it okay to shut your eyes to the problem because of the tone it was delivered in. People get heated because we all really care about animals, and I don't think it's right to accuse people of not loving their cats or abusing them, but the truth is cats are invasive, and there are so many dangers out there.

oh you're so kind, you're not overstepping 🥺

also don't worry, i do accept that outdoor cats are No Good. i have a cat myself and she is a full indoor princess, only going outside under my supervision. my family has always had outdoor cats and i didn't know how bad it was until a few years ago, and now any new cats we have are fully indoor only as well. i actually only have one outdoor cat now, and it would be impossible to keep her inside.

i fully understand where you're coming from, and i agree! my issue is when the people of tumblr form this angry mob about an issue and it's like. no one is going to listen to your point if you're being an asshole. it happens quite often with a variety of issues, and i just really hate the culture of people hating on something they disagree with. it's something i have noticed that happens often on tumblr and i guess my contrarian attitude comes into play lol. i do 100% agree that outside cats are very harmful and letting your cats outside introduces them to the dangers as well as the local populations.

i really appreciate your kindness though!! i think understanding is the opposite of prejudice, and a lot of people on tumblr have this self-righteous attitude when it comes to issues they think are a no brainer. it just pisses me off when people are incredibly rude and hateful to those they believe have a "wrong opinion". i think i might just be a little bit of an asshole and a devils advocate too lol

cheers friend and i hope you have a good one!!

[ailuronymy]

Book Club: Tallstar’s Revenge, chpt. 19-27 overview.

Meta analysis of Erin Hunter writing tropes and trends, courtesy of two acclaimed e-sports commentators: 

“[Erin Hunter is] like, we need these characters to seem smart, so they will be the ones to call out all the bullshit. But they [the writers] don't go, wait, why is the bullshit even happening, it doesn’t make sense, and then write something better in the first place. I guess because we read these books on such a meta level so often, it really feels like watching one person play ping-pong against themselves, but one persona needs to look good so the other persona keeps giving themselves wedgies at the table and holding the paddle the wrong way. Which is... less impressive overall than just watching a nice normal game of ping-pong.” - S.

“Erin Hunter, about to self-own: I'm gonna pull what's called a pro-gamer move,” - K.   

“Literally! I can’t get past it. I know both players are you, Erin Hunter. I can see you putting on your dunce hat and walking to the other end of the table. You’re not tricking me.” - S. 

This week we’re discussing this chapter through these nine questions. Please feel welcome to do the same and @ailuronymy + use the tag #ailuronymy writing challenge. Happy reading and I’m looking forward to seeing your feelings about this book.

1. First impressions?

K. Oh boy. Lots of emotions, lots of rollercoaster moments. I'm actively hating the things that are happening, all the time, forever.

S. Mood. I would say actively detesting what's happening is the primary emotion now.

2. How did you feel reading this section?

S. Very much bounced between anger and frustration, with moments of genuine delight. Very much extreme ends of the negative and positive spectrum.

K. I don't think I've been more confused and full of pure venom in my life. As a writer I am appalled, and as a reader I am... so uncertain. The good bits were truly lovely to read, though. They made it feel worthwhile, when they shone through.

3. What chapter did you find most interesting/moving/effective, and why?

S. I think it's got to be the conversation with Heatherstar and Barkface. I think that most hooked me. I was also interested with the Flailfoot conversation, although I hated the turn it took. It will be different in my version.

K. Chapter Twenty is the one that actively had me yelling aloud. I was so ready for the Erins to make Tallpaw a tunneller out of sheer fear, and so to see the back-to-back catharsis of Heatherstar disbanding the tunnellers and then Dawnstripe being so A+... god. It got me good.

4. What chapter did you find least interesting/effective/most frustrating, and why?

K. I honestly blue-screened throughout all of Chapter Twenty-Seven, the last chapter. Without anything happening at all,  I saw a swathe of unending, dull descriptive text and my mind just blacked out to save me from comprehending any of it.

S. Was that the moonstone one?

K. Nope, that's like, the very last chapter of our reading. When he leaves the Clan and finds some rogue cat to lead him in the direction of a house.

S. Oh right. I forgot that too. I'm going to go with the Moonstone chapter, though. I fell asleep and dreamed of a better book for that whole time.

5. Is there a passage that stuck in your mind–for good, or not-so-good reasons? What is it, and why did it stand out? Try breaking it down and analysing what this passage does and how.

S. There were several things in this chapter I loved and that really resonated with my concept of Tallpaw and my writing. 

S. “He’d be a warrior soon, then a senior warrior like Hareflight. One day he’d be an elder, limping like Whiteberry and sharing stories from moons ago with his denmates. Above the vast sky stretched toward distant horizon. The Clan looked small and fragile beneath it. Was this it? His life laid out before him like an old story, told again and again through countless moons? Tallpaw’s chest tightened. Suddenly he felt trapped, as though he were in the tunnels once again.”

S. “A thought flashed in his mind. We’re just visitors, like the rogues. We arrive, we eat, we sleep, and then we move on to StarClan. The only difference was that Clan cats stayed in one place their whole life. I��ll only ever see heather and grass and sky. Tallpaw felt WindClan’s borders pressing closer.” I loved this kind of thinking showing up in the story, and I’d have loved way more of this and far far less of literally everything else. You could honestly cut out all of the Sandgorse angst and just lean into this, because it's good and it's real.

S. I also lost my whole mind at this bit: “They’re survivors, like you,” Barkpaw purred. They walked in silence for a while. Talltail gently steered his friend toward Outlook Rock.  “I love this view,” he mewed as he led Barkpaw out across the stone. Barkpaw peered into the night-shadowed valley. “Why? Everything is so dark and far away.”  Talltail sat down, beckoning Barkpaw to sit beside him with a flick of his tail. “Just wait.”  “For what?” The sky was growing pale as the sun pushed up toward the horizon behind them. Glancing over his shoulder, Talltail saw weak rays seeping through the bare branches of ThunderClan’s forest. “You’ll see in a moment,” he told Barkpaw.  As he spoke, the sun lifted above the trees. Sunlight swept the moor and lit up the tips of Highstones.  S. I was basically like fist-pumping. Canonical evidence that dawn is Tallstar's favourite time of day. I didn't know this before I wrote my other story, but damn it feels good. I love when things line up serendipitously like that. 

K.  Absolutely. Those felt so good to read. Not a very long passage, but: “How could his Clan be so unfeeling?” — This isn’t a galaxy brain take or anything, but I do love how evident it is that Tallpaw is just. Solidly projecting his own feelings onto everyone else. They’re not unfeeling, dog! You are!!

6. What themes have you noticed in this section? Are these themes a continuation of the themes you noticed in the first section, or has the story’s focus changed since then?

S. In the first chunk, I picked out "division" as a theme. And that feels very true still, as far as what's happening in the story. It's even more emphatic, with Palebird pushing Talltail out of her family (or so he feels, and with reason, in my opinion) and his self-imposed removal from the clan.

K. "Desire" might also be poignant for this section, actually. Talltail's desire to go off on his own, Barkface's desire for Talltail to be happy, so many other background characters doing something with their lives to have a new start (while Talltail broods).

S. Yes! I agree there. It's actually pretty interesting how the clan's unity in the face of tragedy and their kinship with the visitors is actually a big catalyst for Talltail to feel that division happening. The more together they are, the more apart he feels. I think desire is true of this too. There's--as always--a lot of emphasis on individuality, and choosing your own destiny and doing what you want.  It reminds me of that line from Hawkheart that I really liked, how every cat has to choose their destiny.

7. If you were going to learn a lesson from this section, what lesson would it be? What message stands out to you most clearly? Do you agree with it?

S. I think insofar as I can glean a lesson from this section, I'd go with learning from Heatherstar: sometimes it will be difficult to help people and they might resent you for it, but if you have the power to make a positive change, you should act, even though it's hard. S. That feels very appropriate, given the state of the world right now. So many people are angry that authority figures are telling them to stay home and prevent the spread of COVID, and are resenting the very people who are trying to save their lives. I can see that same issue playing out so clearly in these chapters, after the death of Sandgorse in the tunnels.

K. Absolutely. It's so, so easy to direct anger towards something or someone tangible, rather than accepting that there are things that Just Happen and there's nothing you can do about it.

K. I was going to say something very similar: the things you need to make yourself better aren't always the things you want to hear. So many people try to help guide Talltail away from his anger or towards other, much healthier ways of thinking -- all of them trying to tell him he doesn't HAVE to be a tunneler is one moment -- and he just HATES hearing it, every time. He doesn't want to accept it. It feels better to be in his emotions about it, even if that's most obviously the worst thing he could be doing for himself and for others. Sometimes you just have to let other people give you the honest to god vibe check and learn to put your heart down for a bit, to see what you need to see.

S. Definitely. I feel that getting better necessitates taking responsibility for yourself. It seems like Talltail is resisting that, maybe because it's difficult to be honest with yourself. If you try, you risk failing. And the problem with any kind of self-improvement or recovery is that it's overall made up of little moments of trying to be better every day. That's so much failure to face, it can feel insurmountable. Whereas one grand gesture of revenge? So much easier.  Anger is a motivating emotion, so if you stay in anger, you can often get things done. But anger is also an emotion that makes it harder to react with patience or think clearly. A double-edged sword, if you will.

K. Absolutely. Pinning "if I complete X Task, I will feel better and fix myself" on some big goal is way easier.

S. I think that's what's happening for him at this time. He's not willing to do the mundane, scary work of trying to be better each day, and is going for something he thinks will alleviate guilt instead. But of course it won't.

8. The title of this novel is Tallstar’s Revenge. How do you feel about that title so far? Does it reflect the content of the story well, or would you choose a different title? What alternative title would you suggest?

S. I personally feel the title sets up the story poorly. Because I knew it was hinged around revenge, I was alert and looking for it from the start. I was paying attention to potential betrayals or crimes, so on. And when I realised this extremely unlikeable awful character, Sandgorse, was the catalyst, I got real mad.

K. I don't even know what better title would work, since I'm honestly not very fond of the Super Editions titles. They just... all do the same, on-the-nose shit and it makes it very boring from the start.

S. I think if we were allowed to tweak it a little, The Forgiveness of Tallstar, would be a title I would potentially enjoy more. There's an ambiguity to it, re: who is being forgiven. Is it Tallstar who needs to be forgiven, or is it Tallstar doing the forgiving. And I think you could thematically tie that in so much better to the kinds of beats this story is already showing up.

K. The only like, quote from the book that I think you could mangle into a title is "We guard the edge of the world," which like... I dunno, having something like "On The Edge" included in there feels right. The book's obviously full of big tension and drama within Windclan, while also noting that they literally are on the fringe of Clan territory.

S. I think maybe Beyond the Edge of the World? Since that’s essentially where Tallstar’s journey takes him? 

K. Yeah!

9. Many of us read because we’re curious to find out what’s next. How has curiosity featured in your experience of this book? What’s motivated you to keep reading?

K. Hoo boy. Honestly, half of the reason I'm reading is just with crossed fingers that somehow, SOMEHOW, Talltail becomes better. I know he must. He has to.

S.  For me, curiosity is a big part of why I'm reading--and continuing to read--this book. I want to know what happens next! I'm just usually expecting not to like it.

Final notes:

K. I'm excited for Jake to show up, because I feel that'll help break up whatever the hell Talltail is doing. He needs an excitable twink to break him from the evil fog he's in. S. I don't know if Jake is a twink, honestly. K. Oh, very true. We do love a good himbo. S. He's a bit of a rolypoly boy, according to the wiki. K. OH, even better. K. I forgot that Talltail is the twink. S. He's just a long sad string bean.

K. I AM APALLED AT THIS TURN OF EVENTS, ERIN K. This book is… it’s like being consistently starved to death and then given like, a single apple slice and going ravenous for it. There are so many moments that FEEL great (even if they’re not miraculous, writing or content wise), almost solely because so many things that precede them straight up cause my reader brain to flatline. The despicable one-two punch of Chapter Nineteen into the handful of great moments in Chapter Twenty makes me feel like I’m being waterboarded by Erin Hunter. K. Erin Hunter, holding my head down into the waters of godawful content, before yanking me up for air to see Heatherstar and Dawnstripe saying Good Things just to shove me in again. S. I can't disagree with you. S. I genuinely had moments of going "yeah!!!" followed by "NO!!!" like that one John Mulaney skit.

S. Anyway, I'd like to start us off with a familiar old Erin Hunter classic theme, quoting my notes:  - "Is it even a Warriors novel without multiple birth scenes?" - "Oh excellent another peripheral birth scene, I felt that there wasn’t quite enough in this book so far" S. If I don't have multiple women moaning and/or shrieking and/or groaning from birthing pains in my Warriors novels, I'd be devastated. K. It'd break the immersion.

K. I am very happy to see Deadfoot on the scene though, even though he shows up for like. .5 seconds before he's gone. A very good and lovely baby boy. S. “Tallpaw turned back and tucked his nose under the black tom’s belly. “Hang on!” he warned, flipping the kit onto his shoulders. Tallpaw purred as the young kit dug his tiny claws into his pelt, and carried him over to his littermates.” uhhhh what the fuck K. YUP K. Y U P K. HEY ERIN S. Let me just uhhh toss this child like a sack of potatoes over my cat shoulder real quick. K. Tiny Tim over here S. I lost it. I'm like, you really don't care what cat bodies can do, do you?  K. Erin Hunter: hmmm what if we just pepper in some wack shit. Like, what if it's just. Nonsensical as fuck. Who's gonna tell us we can't? Harper Collins? S. And the answer is: of fucking course not, kitty kung fu time.

K. “You’ve turned mean, Tallpaw,” Reena spat. “ That’s why you’ve got no friends anymore. Whenever a cat comes near you, you bite their head off.” “So?” Tallpaw hissed. “At least I don’t kill them.” “See what I mean?” Reena’s gaze hardened. “Why don’t you talk to me once you’ve finished feeling sorry for yourself?” — God I love Reena, calling it like it is. S. Mood, but also: hate Erin Hunter for doing this to him, over Sandgorse. K. "Flailfoot is trying to reason for a Sandgorse Redemption Arc and I will NOT be having it, you LOSE sir, GOOD DAY," S. Note two from my notes page: "I DON’T CARE ABOUT SANDGORSE" S.  Gets abused by father. Father dies in what is objectively an accident caused by his own defiance and hubris. ??? Goes on a hateful revenge spiral to try and make daddy proud. K.  The worst part is that, unlike Bluestar's which was a fucking awful mess the entire way through, this one gives us just enough to show that the Erins are capable of like. SOMETHING. They can write okay things! They know what they're handing us is bullshit and they do it anyway! It's infuriating. S. From a writing perspective, it's kind of fascinating to see this all happen, because like. What a fucking horrorshow. S. Really feeling in this moment for the people who think Erin Hunter is a good writer. They're getting swindled on Sherlock is Garbage and Here's Why levels. S. Where's the secret good fourth episode, Erin???

K.  “Tallpaw’s wish to learn the skills that led to his father’s death shows true courage.” — HEATHERSTAR WITH THE PREMIUM ROASTS K. Followed by: image: “fuck them [tunnels]” K.  “Shrewpaw!” Dawnstripe glared at the apprentice. “Show some respect to your Clanmate.” Hareflight joined them. “Stop teasing him, Shrewpaw!” “This has gone beyond teasing!” Dawnstripe snapped. “If Shrewpaw were my apprentice, I’d claw his ears.” — HOLY FUCK, GET HIM K. The fact that nobody has noticed Shrewpaw using his claws during training is fucking ridiculous, though. He's done it the whole book, Erin. They would know. They would know. S. Admittedly don't love how everyone's concept of discipline is straight to violence, but we'll overlook that, I guess. K. I understand that like, bullying is something that can go unseen very often, but like. Come on, man. S. Yeah. It's like wearing knuckledusters to a playground fight. Hard to overlook.

S. It's what happens when your characters don't have internal worlds. They're just props standing there until you need them, not people watching and listening to what you're writing right in front of them. S. The problem with Erin Hunter's writing for me is that by this point it's hard to read their female characters generously. S. Most of the time I can go, "okay but if we pretend this woman is real, what rich inner world does she experience?" and try to pick up where lazy writers leave off, but like... Erin Hunter's characters are so vapid. K. It's horrible to read. It's just the worst. S. Not just the female characters, but especially the female characters. And I hate it. K. I'm genuinely surprised that Dawnstripe and Heatherstar haven't been mangled already, but honestly, half of my rage at this book comes from their moments, because it shows that the Erins know exactly what they're doing and how bad this fucking plot is. K. Two major background characters are constantly talking about how things Should Not Be The Way They Are, and it just makes me wanna bang my head on a wall. I know you can see the elephant in the room, Erin. You know this. You know the bad things you're making. S. I genuinely feel that’s why they do it. They make bad plots because it’s easier to make certain characters seem smart or likeable if everyone’s a rude idiot.  S. They’re like, we need these characters to seem smart, so they will be the ones to call out all the bullshit. But they [the writers] don't go, wait, why is the bullshit even happening, it doesn’t make sense, and then write something better in the first place. S. I guess because we read these books on such a meta level so often, it really feels like watching one person play ping-pong against themselves, but one persona needs to look good so the other persona keeps giving themselves wedgies at the table and holding the paddle the wrong way. K. FUCK, THAT'S EXACTLY IT S. Which is... less impressive overall than just watching a nice normal game of ping-pong. K. Erin Hunter, about to self-own: I'm gonna pull what's called a pro-gamer move, S. I just can't get past it. S. I know both players are you, Erin Hunter. I can see you putting on your dunce hat and walking to the other end of the table. S. It makes it really hard to sink into the story. Whenever something stupid happens, I'm brutally yanked out of the narrative, and it's happening constantly at this point, because of the direction they're taking Tallpaw. S. I've tried to like, put that aside and imagine his perspective, but it's so challenging for me to envision an experience where I'm a nice boy on a moor with an idiot backwards dad who bullies me and tries to control my life with emotional manipulation and disregard for authority, and then he dies of the thing everyone was saying was super dangerous and off-limits, and then I lose my mind because I didn't make him proud while he was alive (which he's not anymore, because of tunnelling) so I need to do the thing that killed him (which is tunnelling). S. Tallpaw can't be smart and also have this characterisation for me. It's too incongruent.

[elizatellsthestory]

Strangled By Fate

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: KakaSaku

Rating: Gen

Prompt: Soulmate AU

Summary: In a world where soulmate marks only reveal themselves to you when you’re ready for them, Kakashi decides it’s better to resist rather than risk ruining another life. He has spent so long believing he can’t have one, that he almost misses her completely.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of characters. I am making no profit off of this and am only writing it for my entertainment.

A/N: Well guys, I’m officially part of the fandom because I got a comment on my last story telling me to kill myself. Rather than let this bother me, I decided to put out my next submission for KakaSaku month even quicker, and I added extra fluff to the end just for the rude anon. Enjoy guys.

Unbeta-ed.

[ao3] [fanfic]

There had been so many times that Kakashi had felt strangled by the red string that was meant to determine his soulmate. For most of his life, he’d never been able to see it, but he could always feel it’s heavy presence wrapping around his skin in warning. He felt the way it pulled and tangled against his every movement with every step, punishing him for all his failures.

For so many, it came easily, leading two soulmates to the other with little fuss. Kurenai and Asuma had found each other even before they left the academy. It had only taken Hayate and Yugao a few training sessions together to realize what they were to each other. Hell, even Gai had eventually found his soulmate in his enthusiastic student, Lee. The boy was like the son Gai had never had, but Kakashi had never had his string appear.

Despite being told “It will appear if you just open yourself to it,” or “Maybe you’re just not ready to find your One yet,” Kakashi never minded being alone. Being alone was safe. Being alone meant he’d never have to lose anyone again.

Sometimes when he laid awake in bed at night, his mind replayed all the mistakes he’d made, showed him all the people he’d lost in a crisp precision only the sharingan could afford, and he’d feel the string tighten around him. It was paralyzing. He felt like he was suffocating under the weight of it all. Even years after the fact, sometimes he could feel the phantom blood dripping from his red eye or Rin’s life-force draining away around the hand he’d pierced through her.

The truth was, he didn’t deserve a soulmate. No one deserved to be saddled with him, and those fears were only confirmed when he failed to care for each and everyone of his genin students. They’d all seen he was useless to them despite his best efforts and moved on to better teachers.

Sometimes the invisible strings felt like a sticky web. They clung to him and slowed him, holding him in place when all he wanted to do was desperately escape. Other times, they encircled him like vices and pulled him down, down, down into an abyss of his own making. Sometimes they were so tight, the dug into his skin. They felt so tangible, it seemed like a miracle no one else could see him caught up in them.

He lived that way for so many years, and then one day after the war, after Obito’s return and after his true death, they loosened. It happened slowly at first. It was the barest release of tension, but he felt it. Even that small slack felt like the biggest relief after years of it cutting into him. Slowly the red string didn’t feel like such a burden. Slowly, he began to understand just why people might be so overjoyed to have someone by their side when he had only seen the bond as a liability before. As he stood looking over Naruto’s wedding reception, he couldn’t help but feel lighter than he had in a long time.

“It’s wild to think Naruto’s life has finally settled down long enough for him to find his soulmate, huh?” Sakura’s voice drifted over from behind him as he kept his eyes trained on the couple. Even from the distance, Kakashi could make out the little red lines representing the strings imprinted on their fingers. Though only the soulmates could see their individual string, he could imagine the way it linked the two, hanging lightly in the air the way it was meant to.

“No one deserves happiness more than he does,” Kakashi’s eyes crinkled as he smiled softly beneath the mask. “He’s grown up a lot. Hinata and he will be very happy together.”

Sakura moved to stand next to him and watched the happy pair chatting animatedly with Kiba. “He’s not the same knucklehead ninja he was when he was twelve. That’s for sure,” she laughed lightly, her fingers subconsciously moving over the smooth red mark that wrapped around her own finger but led to nowhere.

Kakashi’s charcoal eyes turned to the pink-haired woman next to him, not missing the longing look in her emerald eyes. “And what about you?”

“Hmm?”

“Your life has settled too, and that mark has been there ever since the war ended.” His eyes shifted from the thin mark to her eyes. “Aren’t you curious? Or…” Did she already know who it led to? His thoughts flitted to the goodbye she’d shared with Sasuke when he’d left the village. Perhaps she’d gotten the fairy tale ending twelve year old her had longed for after all.

“You know, it’s funny. Once upon a time, I might have been searching frantically for whoever is on the other end of this mark.” She held up her hand and turned it in the sunlight, examining the little thing that was supposed to be the key to her happy ending. “But, I just figure there are more important things right now. What about you?”

“What about me?” He deflected like it was second nature. He really should have known better than trying his old tricks with Sakura.

“You know very well what I’m asking,” she gave him a reproachful look that walked the fine line between teasing and seriousness. “You’ve been alone a long time, Kakashi Sensei.”

“Kakashi. Just Kakashi. We’ve been comrades far longer than I was ever you Sensei.”

“Don’t try to change the subject.”

Kakashi would be lying if he said he wasn’t slightly amused by how easily she saw through his evasion tactics now. “The truth? My mark’s never appeared.”

Sakura’s brow furrowed in concern, and her gaze moved to where his mark would be if his hand weren’t hidden behind a glove and buried in his pocket. “Doesn’t not knowing bother you?”

“Not any more than it’s bothering you,” he shrugged before his eyes were drawn to the loud commotion Naruto and Rock Lee were making by the food table. It wasn’t long before shouts about the Spirit of Youth distracted them from any more talk of soulmates or marks.

…

Life went on.

It wasn’t hard for Kakashi to become caught up in his new duties as Hokage. The slow release of the strings’ hold on him was something he barely noticed anymore. With every string that fell away came a new feeling of freedom, and soon enough he could barely feel them at all. As much as he thought he’d hate the position of Hokakge, there was something oddly fulfilling about it. For the first time, he experienced a peace he and the ninja world alike had never known. For the first time, people looked up to him, and it didn’t instill a sense of self-loathing within him.

Oddly enough, out of the three remaining members of Team Seven, it was the person he’d offered the least guidance to that offered him the most. Sasuke chose to continue to working for Konoha from afar, and when Naruto wasn’t preparing for his future seat as Hokage, he was at home caring for a pregnant Hinata. In the years following the war, it was Sakura who became his constant friend and companion, no matter how busy she was running the hospital or her children’s clinic.

It wasn’t such a rare occurrence for him to find himself slumped over his desk, having fallen asleep after a long day of work. Some mornings he’d wake with dried ink from important papers clinging to his face, but more often than not, he’d be awoken late at night by the smell of tea and take out accompanied by a dazzling smile and warm emerald eyes.

Tonight was one such night.

He’d only meant to close his eyes for five minutes, but when they opened again, night had fallen and a soft laugher stirred him.

“Keep this up, and I’ll have to put you on bedrest, Kakashi. Believe it or not, the human body needs proper sleep or it can’t function properly.”

“Maa, Sakura,” He blinked sleepily and slowly lifted his head from his desk. “I’ve got everything under control. I know my limits.” He ignored the rustling of paper by his ear even though he knew very well that something was stuck to his temple.

Sakura merely rolled her eyes when she was met with his signature everything-is-fine eye crinkle and moved around to his side of the desk. “That’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one. Remind me, how many times have you been admitted to the hospital for extreme exhaustion over the course of your career?” She hopped up to sit on his desk and pulled the note paper off of his temple. Faint traces of dried ink remained pressed to his skin.

“That’s hardly fair. I was a victim of a dojutsu my body wasn’t equipped to handle,” he argued halfheartedly more out of habit than trying to prove his point.

“Mhmm.” The disbelief was so clear in her voice he could practically hear the deadpanned “bullshit” in her subtext. Still, he was a good patient and held still when she held his chin and tilted his head to better see the ink on his skin.

Before it had been so hard for him to foresee being alright with anyone being this familiar with him, but with Sakura it felt right. He didn’t feel any sort of discomfort around her. Instead of hating the touch and care, there was a part of him that ached for it. And yet, he knew he shouldn’t. Even if it was only because he knew the mark on her finger proved there was someone out there waiting for her, someone out there who was perfect for her, he knew he shouldn’t. It wasn’t fair to confuse her just because he’d long ago given up his hope of ever finding his One.

She was so close now, he could feel her warm breath brush against the exposed skin of his face, and any sleep that had clouded his mind was now gone. He could clearly make out the flecks of deeper and lighter greens in her eyes and the little furrow of her brow as she focused on the ink. Her tongue darted out to lick her finger so she could wipe away the black that stained his skin, but all he could focus on were the lips that had pulled his attention.

He could just make out the light sheen of a gloss or balm she’d used not too long ago. Her thumb lightly skimmed over his temple, leaving what felt like a trail of molten lava in it’s wake, and before he knew what was happening, his traitor hand moved to loosely encircle the wrist of the hand that held his chin, keeping them connected.

He’d heard stories of what love and attraction were supposed to be. Butterflies in the stomach and a heart hammering against the chest, but right now, he felt perfectly at peace. Time seemed to slow, and if he could stay in that moment forever, he’d be perfectly happy to do it.

He was so caught up, that he hardly felt when she finished cleaning him. He completely missed the way her darkened eyes skimmed his face or how her free hand came to rest against his cheek. He was so, completely wrapped up in her that he didn’t snap out of it until her voice pulled him from his trance.

“Kakashi.” It came as a whisper on a breath of air, but it snapped his attention back to the present. His eyes jerked up to meet hers which were fixed firmly on his face. A light blush graced across her skin.

He’d been caught.

A sinking feeling spread through him, and immediately, he dropped his hand from hers. “I’m sorry.”

He would have pulled away, but her touch kept him close like an inescapable gravity. Her entire being held him spellbound. He was at a loss. He was frozen as she scooted over on his desk to place herself more fully in front of him. Frozen, as her hands moved to deftly untie his hitai-ate from where it sat on his forehead and placed it on the desk beside her. Frozen, as she leaned forward to lightly brush her lips over the hair that now spilled lightly over his forehead.

It was only as her lips moved to brush against his temple that he finally found his voice. “Sakura…” Her name came out more unsure than he’d meant it to. As much as he’d love to give in, he couldn’t ignore the mark that promised her to some other man.

At his voice, she pulled back slowly, just enough to look at him, but her hands remained where they’d fallen at his shoulders. He’d never been as hyperaware of a touch as he was now. He wanted nothing more than to let her keep caressing him. He wanted nothing more than for her mark to lead to him, but-

“Kakashi.” Again, her familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts. “It’s alright.”

For a moment, his dark eyes searched her clear gaze. He scoured it for even the tiniest trace of hesitance. Even as she leaned closer, letting her lips hover just out of reach of his masked ones, he searched. He had to be absolutely sure. She had to be absolutely sure, and she was. There wasn’t a single trace of doubt in her expressive eyes.

At that moment, he let himself fall.

It was a gentle, timid kiss, more on his side than hers. He was testing the waters, worried she might change her mind, but as she relaxed into him, he gained confidence. Slowly, he began to press back. Somewhere along the way, he slipped his mask down his face, and it was just the two of them, flesh on flesh, meeting her desire with his own.

And then he felt it.

The last string falling away.

A warm glow encircling his pinky finger.

At the same time, both pulled away and were left to stare in awe at the thin red string that led from Sakura’s pinky and disappeared underneath Kakashi’s glove. For a moment, all the pair could do was stare at it, and then, as though some spell were broken, both were scrambling to rid Kakashi of the offending glove that was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

After what seemed like too long for the both of them, his hand was bare except for the little intangible string that only they could see linking the two together. A wave of euphoria washed over the two. Gleeful laughter sprang from Sakura’s lips as her head fell forward and leaned against Kakashi’s. Meanwhile, he could do nothing but sit dumbstruck with a giddy smile that betrayed his every emotion without the mask in place.

“I wanted it to be you so badly,” Sakura admitted quietly in a reverent whisper as though speaking too loudly might make the little string disappear into oblivion. Their connected hands laced, holding each other firmly, not wanting to let go.

Was this what it felt like? Was this how everyone else felt when they found their One? It wasn’t at all like he’d expected. It wasn’t the feeling of completion, of having a missing piece that has suddenly been found. It was better than that. It was having more. Having a piece that complemented rather than completed him. Finally, he understood.

“What’s wrong?” Sakura frowned when she glanced back up at him only to find watery eyes.

“Nothing,” Kakashi shook his head. A soft chuckle escaped his lips. “Nothing at all. I’m just happy.”